Tales From The Narc Side

[tellomon]

IMAGINE WAKING UP LIKE A NARC & THINKING ABOUT "WHO I CAN MANIPULATE TODAY"?

[tellomon]

Directly… indirectly… never have anything to do with the narc ever again
Why You Seek the Narcissist´s Downfall?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEKlbibSH2o

Being single is freedom!

Why It's BETTER to Be SINGLE |
STOIC INSIGHTS on The BENEFITS of SINGLE LIFE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti70c8jp7NM

There are those that mock at making amends for wrongdoings to others , there is no goodwill in them , their only focus is selfish gain !

This Is How Narcissists React When You Stop Giving Them Attention!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDk_9CsaQuc

Narcissist: I need your obedience, but I get to make the rules as I go along.
Healthy person: Hell will freeze over before I give you any blind obedience.
Your Disobedience Toward A Narcissist's Control

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lwtDXYbrdg

The narc has to be right about everything because of course they think they know everything.
The Narcissist Will Try to Break You & Your Boundaries

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nC6v6gfnvk

[tellomon]

HOW THE NARCISSIST UNDERMINES PEOPLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl95UMdjyac

@Dee-mj3pu
3 hours ago
They are not on your side.  You are not a team. 
The narc is only out for himself!  Period!

[tellomon]

The 5 Most Common Manipulations of the Narcissist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBwy7Jof-KA

@remembermyname718
5 days ago

1. They keep your text messages even if they pretend to don't read them (they read them and enjoy them)

2. If they blocked you before, they will have backed up everything (the smear campaign)

3. They have an agenda where they write down your reactions or moments that they find important to use against you (if you find it, don't read the contents)

4. They use silence both to punish you, and to make you feel guilty, and to manipulate you,  and to make you suffer. (They are looking for a way to restore the balance: you at the bottom, they at the top)

5.  Denying is the same as lying (they are pathological liars, never challenge them)

[tellomon]

5 Comments That Easily Trigger the Narcissist’s Rage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgJICqQja_g

@KBArchery
6 hours ago

1) I disagree. (How dare you disagree w me)

2) You hurt me. (Your needs trigger them) Gaslighting. Defensiveness. Denying. Lying.
 
3) I need space (Fear of abandonment. They see it as rejection)

4) You are being selfish. (They don’t see themselves this way. Sensitive to criticism)

5) I’m done/walking away. (Huge trigger. Toxic meltdown or guilt trip)

[tellomon]

Why Did The Narcissist Discard me? - (5 Reasons Narcissists Discard People)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzofUAACVgU

They discard you if and when you bust them for cheating, or the narcissist can no longer control you or you are of no use to them anymore.

[tellomon]

NARCISSIST’S DISCARD: 3 Reasons Narcissists Discard (And Why It's Not Your Fault)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09e5VYlZYEs&t=375s


NARCISSIST'S FINAL DISCARD: How To Know When Over is Really Over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzeACaJSMK4


The Narcissist's Final Discard: 3 Things to Do Immediately After Getting Rid of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9MjP0T9GmI


NARCISSIST'S DISCARD PHASE: What to Expect and What to Do Next
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK3L__WC0BE


The Narcissist and the Discard: The Real Reasons They Discarded You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k80Xx9RsOw&t=165s


Why Narcissists Discard Their Targets So Cruelly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SaIY3UcOu0


Two Types Of #Discard By The Narcissist - (Discard Methods)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lqYVx_4XHg


Narcissists Final Discard - How Final Is It?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K2nT63yB5w


7 Lightbulb Realizations After Narcissistic Discard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSIIEyHUfKo&t=519s


Seven Reasons why Narcissists Discard People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O9Cq_QJOSg&t=128s


How To Respond Wisely When A Narcissist Discards You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa-BsyYMBGs&t=283s

[tellomon]

   

[tellomon]

HOT OFF THE PRESS!

I have no idea what this is about, but it looks bigger than my similar story.
It is a facebook post in the group "Expose Corruption, Civil Rights Violations, Judges, Cps"
I'm compelled to post this stuff here cuz it has the word GASLIGHTING.
And it looks ugly.
I presume this is in America. It fits the Profile.


DP Pertuit
  ·
These individuals stalking, harassing & plotting are so obvious, that other people that I see at the gym witness this and have said to me “Seems like you have some obsessive boyfriends following you, we see what’s going on”.
This is without these people knowing what has been going on for months.
So to do my best to avoid unnecessary drama, I move to another gym, they follow me to the new gym and do the same thing.
These individuals and group, as previously said have continually and intentionally sabotaged (4) sources of income for me since November 2022.  Attempting to make it impossible for me to have a business, job or income; because they follow me everywhere, cause scenes and purposely ruin professional relationships. They do this by using the justice system illegally with blatant lies and also by telling my business relationships / partnerships blatant lies about me.
The truth is, the lies they continually use to sabotage every aspect of life; are in fact exactly what they are doing themselves.
Again, here is the simple list of what they have been doing, have done and continue on trying:
1. Stole property and money belonging to me.
2. Identity fraud
3. Mail fraud
4. Kidnapping, Unaliving & Trafficking attempts
5. Hidden & illegal recording devices inside my own house.
6. My own house temporarily taken from me (this is not a house I was renting, my name is on the title to this house & property).
7. Cut off my cameras on my property that I had access to, put their own cameras, threw my children’s stuff outside & changed the locks.
8. Repeatedly filed false reports to the authorities with blatant lies attempting to set me up for false criminal charges. This has happened many times over a long period of time.
9. Gang stalking, stalking, harassing and threatening myself & my children.
10. Using our reports about the actions and crimes against myself & children to take my children away from me and give me I’m to individuals who are also involved in what has been happening to us.
11. Sabotaged (4) sources of income / business since November 2022
12. Used my reports and truth speaking to illegally put me in a psychiatric facility, while intentionally ignoring our reports and requests for help, also knowing the basis for this was based on blatant and provable lies and doing it anyway.
13. These individuals lie under oath; also provable.
14. They continue to do anything they can to prevent me from speaking the truth, exposing them, going to prison and to prevent me being “able” to testify against them in court.
15. Continuous gas lighting
16. Blaming each other and admitting everything
17. Fraudulent life insurance policies & unaliving for the payout.
18. Hacking
19. “Energy harvesting & spell work (in the worst aspects), including death spells against me & my children” this was told to me by one of them directly
20. Bribery
21. Coverups
Also, from what I was told, it was part of a specific persons “initiation” into the “secret group” to “sacrifice me”. “Blood oath’s and selling their souls”.
Attacks and plots involving “Family”, “Family Court”, Government, Judges, DAs, Police Department, Sheriffs Office, CPS, Doctors, Nurses, Church leaders involved, Secret “Groups” and others. Individuals / names are known and have been shared

Ron Tello Culley
How did this start? What is the cause?

[tellomon]

"News to me...."

Shape Shifting Narcissist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lMJmq5tfR8

@mostpeoplearebots
6 years ago
this is more important to know than people realize- every one of these pieces of crap have attempted to clone me and then play out my good qualities  while attempting to make me out to look like them aka the copier empty one etc. 
and trying to explain this to normal based people is hell, because as you try to explain that you're being copied, they don't care or get how damaging it is and think you're the one being the problem by pointing it out etc.

[tellomon]

When A Narcissist Realizes You Refuse To Be Controlled

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28eUzjSFL90

@candacetharp9717
3 years ago
I was told I was disrespectful. No, I was actually disobedient. The need for control is outrageous.

[tellomon]

"This is pretty neat!"

The most powerful frequency of the universe
- you will feel God within you healing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDZglyqYzlg

[tellomon]

Why Chosen Ones Cannot Be Around A Lot of People - Revealed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Psa0OAKvMpY

@The Ron
Today
Now I know why I'm hated by some people, even my own family.

It’s annoying to me to be intimidating to people while doing nothing at all. I have been told this numerous times and have felt that I make people uncomfortable at other times. I have no idea why and it’s very mind boggling.

I struggle with the common banter that everyone seems to relish. I have to be very careful of what I choose to say and what words I use. I am mindful of how I move through the abyss of humanity without attracting overt attention.

I'm stimulated by thinking new thoughts.
The more I learn, the more I realize what I don't know.

I’m proud of being a chosen one. It’s been one hell of a ride.
The only thing is that in my solitude I do not feel lonely. I love to be in peace, alone and enjoying my space! It humbles me.

I’d like to warn any chosen ones in the prime of their youth: Stay away from people who give you a bad vibe. Trust your instincts. They are always right.

[tellomon]

NEVER EXPOSE YOURSELF | Stoicism

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA9bNx9OJNw

"Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good." - Marcus Aurelius

[tellomon]

How to Escape Mediocrity and Mental Illness - The Road Less Traveled

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahSc8vDSOKc

@_the.awakening_
4 months ago (edited)
The journey to transcend mediocrity and mental illness is often mistaken for a path of gentle self-improvement, yet it demands a confrontation with the darkest aspects of our psyche.

Many embark on this journey seeking solace, only to discover that it requires dismantling deeply ingrained habits and beliefs. True transformation is not just about self-reflection; it's a radical upheaval of our very identity and the narratives we've clung to for comfort.

Remember: pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.

[tellomon]

"Narcissism" is the Modern Word that Replaced "Evil"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB3sZzI3AmY

@walkingthroughghosts
2 years ago
Another term they used for psychopathy was "morally insane" and yes society profits big off addiction and dysfunction.
I can't even stand the word "content" anymore. People just live consuming this "content" everyday to the point where we have no more real content within ourselves in REALITY.

[tellomon]

What is "projection"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58kED7LSSBk

@MsKK909
3 years ago (edited)
Projection is actually my favorite Narc trait!  It is like he/she is giving you hand written list of his/her own transgressions and flaws.   It’s confession by projection.   Once you understand it and can see it, it makes everything so much easier to accurately assess your relationship.  That’s the first step to getting out.

[tellomon]

I'm beginning to feel as though the whole world is one big Narcissistic Theme Park.

DARVO | The Abuser's tactic of blame-shifting that causes you to blame yourself for the abuse

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Muh_rO_0xtc

@unleashingpotential-psycho9433
5 years ago
Unfortunately many manipulative people learn how to blame others very well to make it feel like it was the other persons fault.

[tellomon]

How to Handle the DARVO Method

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF-ZevEXVu8

[tellomon]

Narcissists Manipulate w D.A.R.V.O. Technique

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJJy5pW3W_w

[tellomon]

10 Steps to Crush a Narcissist's Smear Campaign Permanently

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sfKB_MlANU

@FoulOwl2112
7 months ago
And most importantly, DON'T WAIT!
They're not going to change. They won't learn by example. They won't be inspired by your loyalty. They'll never grow to respect others boundaries etc.
It's all just a waste of time and energy.

[tellomon]

Narcissism and the D.E.E.P. Technique

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HcU3sdrzU0

@JC-bu6vl
2 years ago
Having a conversation with a narcissist is like a nightmare you can't wake up from.
This means you cannot talk to them at all ever. They're like invisible black holes swallowing and destroying nice people nearby them.
Move on and lessons learned.

[tellomon]

What does it mean to go "gray rock"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly0EfWUYArU

@drlarrymitchell
4 years ago
My tip: get an actual  small gray rock, and keep in in your hand.  In convo, squeeze it, run your fingers over it, and remember the game that's being played.

[tellomon]

Use This Gray Rock Method to Conquer Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s-YDjfjE3g


How to use the Grey Rock method effectively
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dxlrwuThKw


UNDERSTANDING THE GRAY ROCK METHOD: With 4 Tips
to Upgrade Your Gray Rock Game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EXxzYZLG6w


This is NOT how narcissists gray rock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkJsl_mnRe4

[tellomon]

How to Respond to Narcissists When They Disrespect You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK7MLz0uajw&t=487s

Get Rid Of A Narcissist With These 5 Steps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4EUfhuu1_U

10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist | (Keeping the Peace with a Narcissist)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQSg15sXdEQ

5 Ways To Torture a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krUaqbRy4LU

[tellomon]

Why did the narcissist leave you ?

The narcissist had to leave you at some point because he/she really had no other option. And it's not about justifying it. The narcissist lied to you from the start; you were manipulated.

They made you believe they were serious. It was all so believable but the narcissist sold you a lot of lies. They lied about their plans, abilities, and character. And finally, at some point, everything started to fall apart. Narcissist began to have many difficulties and problems. There were many fights and arguments. All this happened because the narcissist couldn't live up to the high expectations they set for you in the beginning.

(In the case of Ron Tello, he went Gray Rock on the Old Bag and refused to buy into her bullshit any longer. He reached his threshold of pain and the breaking point of mediocrity.
Simply stated: Narcissistic Supply has an Expiration Date and his number was up.

Now, his Narc has abandoned him in Big Bear holding his own, while she sunk her hooks into the New Supply, living in a camper van at the beach without an umbrella or sunscreen.)

Therefore, at some point, the narcissist has no choice but to run away like a typical thief, a con artist and a coward. The narcissist runs away because it has all become too difficult  and overwhelming for them. That's why everything started to fall apart  That's why the narcissist started to get mad. They couldn't carry out what they told you because it was all a lie.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-did-the-narcissist-leave-you

[tellomon]

When you tell a narcissist “I am not playing your mind games”, what will happen?

Narcissists, of the evil triads, know that when you say something like this you are playing their mind games. To a narcissist with no sense of values there is only loss and temporary satisfactions. There is no love. It simply doesn’t exist. I know this to be 100% true.

The narcissist wants your love and admiration and they observe this from a distance. The truth is they don’t know what you see in them. Their entire life is mind games. That’s why they are such experts at it. The only thing they fear of you is the opposite of love and admiration - indifference.

They know this trait very well. They use it on you all the time. They want you to be humbled by them. They feel great joy knowing they had the power to break you. In reality that is all that matters. To beat a narcissist at their own game you need to mimic their behaviours. One key thing to master is indifference.

This is not narcissistic injury. But remember you need to be convincing against the consummate actor. You don’t warn your enemies you are going to shoot them in the back. You just do it. But be prepared to start a new life.

[tellomon]

The Universe Will Compensate You
for Your Wasted Years

In this enlightening video, we explore a captivating concept that could significantly alter your perspective on your past and future. We unravel the universe's secret power to transform what seems like lost time into the foundation of a new beginning. This journey reveals how the universe orchestrates subtle signs, serendipitous encounters, and unexpected opportunities not as mere coincidences but as part of a grander scheme aimed at guiding us towards spiritual renewal and fulfillment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe4T35x5mP4

@misterbulger
1 month ago
Never second guess how you spend your time if you know you're doing your best to live and enjoy life.

[tellomon]

Do relationships with narcissists always
have to end badly?

Absolutely yes. Narcissists never end relationships peacefully because, by the end of the relationship, they start hating you to the core. Narcissists believe you are the biggest reason relationships don't work. Had you put more effort into pleasing narcissists, then relationships would have worked.

Narcissists are completely irritated and annoyed by your presence; they just can't tolerate you. Narcissists will vent out their anger and hate while ending relationships. Narcissists will discard you like you never mattered to them. Sometimes narcissists will behave badly toward you because they want you to leave them. Sometimes narcissists will vanish from your life without giving any explanation; this will cause pain, anxiety, helplessness, and worthlessness.

Narcissists don't have empathy or remorse; they end relationships badly because they don't care about you or your relationship. Narcissists just want to replace you.

https://spiesliesnpdabusehealing.quora.com/Do-relationships-with-narcissists-always-have-to-end-badly?topAns=1477743745187538

[tellomon]

A narcissist is a fraud

A narcissist uses tricks, manipulation, persuasion and deception to make people believe something that is not true. The narcissist paints an image of himself that is not consistent with facts and reality. The narcissist will use suggestions aimed at pointing out specific facts or situations, knowing that they do not apply to him. The narcissist deceives you through deception, intentionally making you believe something that is not true.

He forces you to believe it, he does it for his own gain. Deliberately creates a false impression. The narcissist tricks you into believing that you have something great with him. Makes you believe you have understanding. The narcissist tells you that he has something to offer that will benefit you. He’s telling you he has something you can appreciate.

You decide to get involved, you commit your time and efforts. You decide to devote your energy and money to this specific goal, expecting satisfactory results. You expect it to be worth it, that it will be important and meaningful. You expect it to have the meaning you give it. You expect it to be as important as it is important to you. A narcissist is very persuasive, he uses persuasion, he convinces you through arguments or temptations, he makes you believe that you will get a return on your investment and this is where the problems begin.

The problems begin even though the narcissist has been very persuasive, suggesting that he has so much to offer and many things that will benefit you. The narcissist is only involved with you because you have something to offer. The narcissist caught your interest, attracted your attention, only because he wanted to participate in what you had to offer. The narcissist knew you wouldn’t be interested in someone who couldn’t give you anything in return. Who is not able to reciprocate what you give, that is why the narcissist deceived you, lied about his abilities, lied about his personality. He made you believe that your investment would pay off.

Depending on the goal and the situation, the narcissist likes to use another trick. This is a very predatory and exploitative tactic, but it is also very effective, which is why the narcissist uses it. The narcissist exploits your weak points.

The narcissist takes advantage of your weaknesses, targets your loneliness, difficult family or financial situation, your uncertainty and health problems. The narcissist takes advantage of your lack of knowledge and awareness, lack of information. A narcissist has no conscience, he is so focused on himself and his goals that he doesn’t even think about how it will affect you.

A narcissist only cares about what he wants, and you have what he wants, so he will do everything in his power to get it from you, extort it, steal it, and exploit it. The narcissist plays the role of a charming, unique and wonderful and charismatic person, he plays the role of a very persuasive person. This is how he gains your trust and confidence and continues to do so until he gets what he wants, get what he wants from you.

You begin to realize that nothing he said, nothing he suggested, nothing he promised came true. There is a confrontation and then you feel bad, you feel guilty and ashamed because you decided to discuss this topic with him, because you had expectations, because you expected something from him. The narcissist makes you feel like you are not worthYou begin to realize that nothing he said, nothing he suggested, nothing he promised came true.

There is a confrontation and then you feel bad, you feel guilty and ashamed because you decided to discuss this topic with him, because you had expectations, because you expected something from him. The narcissist makes you feel like you are not worth it.

It makes you feel like you don’t deserve anything valuable or meaningful. This happens regardless of how much you have invested in the narcissist, how much of yourself you have invested in such a relationship. The narcissist may even convince you that you just need to be patient, that you need to wait a little longer, or they may convince you that you need to invest more time and resources. This is how the narcissist manages your expectations by using empty, false promises. The narcissist makes you believe that there is some reward waiting for you in the future.

But no matter how long you stay with a narcissist, nothing will ever change, no promises will ever be fulfilled. The narcissist lets you down so often that disappointment becomes the norm. You expect the narcissist to fail to live up to your expectations and hopes, and this helps him even more. As you start expecting less and less from a narcissist, he gets away with more and more.

When you have invested all your time and all your resources in a narcissist, you don’t want to leave, you don’t want to accept that you have invested all your time and all your energy, all your efforts, money, feelings and emotions. You have invested everything in something that will never pay off in the way it will benefit you. It won’t pay you back like you expected.

You want to believe the narcissist’s lies, you want to believe that if you stick it out a little longer, it will be worth it. You believe that it will be worth everything you’ve been through, all the pain and suffering you’ve had to endure, and the narcissist knows it. He knows what’s going on in your head. The narcissist knows that you are completely hurt, he knows that you are willing to believe anything.

You still have hope, you still want future events, that’s why the narcissist uses manipulation, uses empty, false promises. A narcissist plays on your emotions, plays on your feelings, plays on your hope. Hope for the future, for a different outcome, for change. The narcissist wants to convince you that staying with him, that his charm, strength and attractiveness will somehow benefit you or protects you from danger, from the outside world.

Its purpose is to trap you and make you addicted. The narcissist wants to make you feel like you can’t leave, like you can’t start over on your own. This is intended to make you feel like you can’t live without the narcissist. The costs of staying with a narcissist far outweigh the benefits. Losses outweigh gains. The closer you are to the narcissist, the more you rely on him, the more trapped you become, the more the narcissist will take advantage of you and deprive you of your resources.

When you find out who you are dealing with, when you refrain from investing, from giving up your time and resources, the narcissist will move on to another source of supply, to someone else, and the whole cycle, the whole process, starts all over again.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/A-narcissist-is-a-fraud

[tellomon]

Dear Narc,

[tellomon]

Fun With Your Narcissist! How To Beat Them At Their Own Game And Enjoy It

Since this video has been published, narcissists have gone out of control. Check out the world they are creating, here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUqeoJPzCYg

[tellomon]

Why don't narcissists get
the help they need?

They literally don’t think there’s anything wrong with them, in fact, they believe there’s something wrong with you.

It’s too painful for them to accept their issues, so instead they avoid accountability by blaming their victims.

They have to want help, but they’re too busy GASLIGHTING and JUSTIFYING THEIR ACTIONS; no matter how bad they are. So sad!

Getting help requires self reflection , atonement, and accepting the truth. Something a narcissist can NEVER do nor face because they would be forced to acknowledge that all this time they were the monsters in the manipulationship. They are emotionally undeveloped people who lack the ability to process pain nor understand the full impact of their decisions. It’s just easier for them to create a character and pretend rather than face reality .

Because society enables and rewards their awful behavior! Lundy Bancroft sums it up best when he speaks about how they turn everything around on the abused. It's way too easy to let them bully everyone else out of fear of becoming a target.  We need to Collectively STAND UP to these bullies!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW-MW6z4ST4

[tellomon]

Ten Signs of Narcissistic Neglect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McAVX0DM7Qw


Tricking narcissists into feeling bad for their actions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaRHBag-oGE


7 Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control Over You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HneSzPXChhM


7 Comments That Easily Trigger A Narcissist's Anger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HkbTJHTh84


Top 5 Problems Created By Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1DELgDfcjU


Top 10 Indicators That Narcissists Can't Manage Life Maturely
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSEmA6kTFPk


How to Trigger Narcissist Collapse by Asking THIS Question
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y1mFgaj7b8&t=190s

[tellomon]

Narcissists are Satan's Agents: Proof that They're Evil!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkGG_wu9LaA&t=763s

[tellomon]

How to Beat a Narcissist at Their Own Game | Story time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-xULFXRHT0&t=229s

@theartzscientist8012
5 months ago
I believe to defeat a narc, you need to stop caring what they think. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Set boundaries!

[tellomon]

This Is Why Narcissists Can't Maintain Relationships

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMkIrCszqRc

[tellomon]

Clear Warnings From The Universe Of An Evil Person

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcYBaHxZFxA

[tellomon]

What is "love-bombing"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhILcuoVhgE

@TheCommentBandit
4 years ago
It's freaky how they all instinctively have the same personality patterns...

[tellomon]

Why do narcissists seem to
get away with it all,
all of the time?

This is all smoke and mirrors.

The female narcissist ex that I personally have experience with exuded an aura of confidence and self-assuredness when I got to know her from a distance. Once I got closer, her insecurities about her age (she was 47 but carried around a fake driver’s license that said she was 40), appearance (she was physically attractive but held onto hurtful things that a classmate had once said to her in high school), and her abilities seeped out like pus from an old infection. Shortly after starting a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she revealed so much rage, jealousy, and overall bitterness that her negative energy slowly consumed me.

Narcissists are incredibly flocked up children who live in a fantasy world — unable to deal with reality, they live in a permanent state of denial where they can pretend to not be the lying, cheating whores, con artists, or useless social parasites they are. They are too weak to live their lives as responsible adults so they are relegated to a merely pretend life where they are admirable and looked up to by those they secretly want to be. In order to do this, they become great liars and manipulators while remaining generally secretive about how miserable their lives are. Because I find attention whores so incredibly off-putting, I was initially attracted to how private she was, thinking that this was someone with a strong sense of boundaries. Lesson learned. There is a big difference between private and secretive.

Once I started to discover the painful reality that the real version of her was not like the person she pretended to be in the beginning, I started to ask her questions to things I already knew — such as whether she lived in a house or apartment — just to see if she would lie. Of course, these on-going tests proved that she was a compulsive liar, which all narcissists are. They are shame-based individuals so anytime they are put in the spotlight, they panic and end up lying. It is a sub-conscious reaction; they really can’t help it.

So in the end, after I brutally dumped her and called her out on everything she had lied about with proof, screenshots of text messages that she had forgotten about, etc. she just sat there with a glazed look in her eyes, looking off into space and muttering anything she could say to either shift the blame to someone else, shift the blame to the pandemic for her bad behavior, shift the blame to me for making her feel insecure, or shift the blame to her husband for neglecting her or not knowing how to get her off like I could.

In other words, she is a crazy, delusional, irrelevant hag who goes out of her way to feel validation in an attempt to feel like she’s not a complete loser in life (which she is). I’d bet money that she has not told her husband about the affair and will continue to pretend that everything is peachy around him but I wouldn’t say that she is getting away with anything. It’s just that she is always in denial and lies to herself constantly about who she really is and what she does. In the end, there is no escaping who she is and living through the consequences of all her poor life decisions over the years.

One day, it is all going to hit her and when it does, it’s going to hit her hard. As I told her the last time I saw her, “You don’t deserve me. You deserve your life and every flocked up thing about it.”

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-seem-to-get-away-with-it-all-all-of-the-time?topAns=306266129

[tellomon]

How does a covert narcissist attack their victims?

The covert Narcissist uses some “poor me” victim story or drama to draw in a sympathizer.

She asks that compassionate, listening person for her thoughts and feelings about this kind of situation. She flatters her new “friend” for being so wise and understanding. She looks at her rescuer with awe, wondering aloud how she ever functioned without this wonderful hero.

Then the day comes when she “achieves” something: stands up to the boss, pays her own electricity bill, gets a nice haircut. Something “better” than her hero.

And she smugly turns to the hero and says, “This is something you’re not so great at, eh?”

But while she’s on that subject, haha, so funny, look at this other thing you’re so silly about. And SERIOUSLY? You’re going to wear THAT??

And then a sigh because you’ve let her down. And then a little outburst of rage because her problem came back and you had promised to fix that for her.

Then she is using all your deepest insecurities against you, mentioning them in an inappropriate context. Like sympathetically talking about your constipation problem while you’re chatting with an important new business contact. Or pointing out how it’s your fault that she lost her temper and called her boss the “C” word because you are always going on about how you are superior to YOUR boss. Now she’s fired and can’t pay the bills so you’d better do it.

It continues in this vein until you are a worn out dishrag and you leave her because you don’t care about anything or have any more energy to deal with it. But you feel guilty, because, of course, she is right about some of the things she said about you. After all, they are things you told her yourself.

And she knows you feel guilty. Which is why she then tells all your closest friends and family about how much you abused her, using a carefully-curated list of your very own faults that you yourself revealed to her.

Because if you do anything whatsoever to defend or redeem yourself, it will prove that you were using her all along and that you are a worthless piece of shite who ruined her life.

She then takes on all your “heroic” qualities for herself and posts memes on Facebook about never putting up with someone who doesn’t appreciate her for exactly who she is.

https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-covert-narcissist-attack-their-victims?topAns=137423500

[tellomon]

Why does a narcissistic do things transactional,
and where does it stem from?

Since narcissists do not have self-esteem, which is an internal, love-based source of validation, they are constantly seeking external validation in the form of adulation and admiration. That is their drug, and they valuate people and things based on the quality and quantity of validation those people offer to the narcissist.

Narcissists lack the empathy to process and reciprocate love, therefore they can’t and don’t value it like healthy people. The only kind of “love” they can feel is how important and exalted someone makes them feel. Subconsciously, narcissists see people as commodities who supply them with validation. Instead of bonding with people via love, they valuate people based on their supply and keep them around only until their supply runs out.

When a person no longer makes a narcissist feel exalted or superior, the narcissist no longer has a use for that person, so they discard them in favor of seeking a new source of supply. Obviously it’s a very cold and calculating thing to do, but that’s how narcissists operate. Regarding people as a commodity explains the transactional element of narcissistic behavior.

https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissistic-do-things-transactional-and-where-does-it-stem-from

[tellomon]

What drives a narcissist insane?

Narcissists are easy to drive insane when you do any or all of the following:

Criticize them
One up them
Do something/anything better than them
Withhold praise
Withhold attention
Don't include them in a conversation at an event
Forget to introduce them in public
Fail to recognize things their preposterous fauxchievements
Forget your wallet after you invite them out for dinner
Withhold sex
Stop waiting on them hand and foot
Tell them you don't like their outfit, shoes, haircut
Wait longer to return their calls, texts, emails
Flirt with someone of the opposite sex in front of them - like they do to you
Tell them they are getting old and you see a few gray hairs
Tell them you think they are balding
Tell them they need to start working out or working out more
Minimize your sexual pleasure- say it was just “ok” or “alright”
Make them take care of the kids and have an expensive spa day without them
Ask them to pick up the tab
Ask for a date night, ha!
Tell them they need therapy or couples counseling
Tell them you are leaving or want a divorce
Make yourself the center of attention at a party and watch them squirm
Tell them you find another male/female astonishingly gorgeous
Buy a nicer house or car than them
Start talking over them
Stop listening to them
Give them the silent treatment
Discard them first after a devaluation
But beware bc narcissists are children in adult bodies with big words, a mean streak ten miles wide, no remorse, and a thirst for vengeance.

https://www.quora.com/What-drives-a-narcissist-insane?topAns=319246187

[tellomon]

What exactly does a narcissist want in a relationship?

There are the things the narcissist knows they want, and there are the things they subconsciously want.

What the narcissist knows they want:

Elevation of their status: Being with someone bright, attractive, successful, wealthy, connected, funny, or talented makes them feel more valuable than they do on their own. They want access to financial or other resources they otherwise don't have.

Loyalty: They expect you to confirm their story, eliminate relationships with friends and exes, and put them before everything else.

Respect for their boundaries: They expect you to not snoop around their belongings or talk when they're watching TV or want silence.

Unconditional trust: They expect you to not question them too much and blindly believe their stories. They want to always be right and win at everything.

Compliance: They expect you to not challenge them, to obey their commands without question, and to be in control.

What the narcissist subconsciously wants:

Regulation of their emotions: They can't control their emotions well, and they want you to prevent their feelings of low self-esteem and shame.

Narcissistic supply: They need attention to survive and will do anything to get it, whether through positive or negative means.

Validation: They want confirmation that they are correct and approval from you.

Admiration and praise: They want to be seen as unique, special, and admirable.

Confirmation of their false reality: They want you to validate the false narrative they've crafted since childhood.

In conclusion, above all else, the narcissist wants you to see them as the person they wish to be.
___________________________________

Great question,

There has been a popular meme getting around that says

“A narcissists demands that you give up everything in order to be their nothing”.

This simple and yet profound statement captures both very essence of a narcissistic relationship as well as the needs (or rather demands) of the narcissist.

A narcissists first and foremost concern will always be for themselves, their needs, their desires, and their wants. The concerns of others will always be secondary to a narcissist which eventually results in a narcissists significant other developing feelings of diminishment and insignificance. This sense of devaluation will eventually erode their significant others self-esteem and sense of self worth.

A narcissist only cares about themselves and sees others in terms of resource potential. Once that resource has been depleted, a narcissist will move on to the next and so on.
__________________________________________

In simple terms, they want attention, validation and to get their way/have their needs met at all times and at any expense. They are adults who are emotionally stuck at the toddler level and are therefore very egocentric.

When you understand what toddlers want and what happens when they don’t get it, you’ll understand narcissism. The only thing being an adult does for them is it increases their viciousness and level of damage they can inflict on others.

And they can spend their "Time-Out" in Jail.
________________________________________

Control…. That's why when a narcissist loses control of you they lose their minds. A big reason that a narcissist needs control is because when they were children, they had no control of any of the bad situations or abuse that they endured.

In a way it makes them feel safe.

They want control over everything in the relationship. They live by their own rules and you live by a different set of rules.

They want you to behave like a good supply or else you will be of no longer any use to them.

At the end of the day they are extremely self absorbed while looking like the perfect citizen to most.

Again, control is what they need.
_______________________________________

Better ask yourself why you are in a relationship with a narcissist!

No one screws a nut onto a nail. If you are/have been/want to be in a narcissistic relationship it is because you are as or even more narcissistic than your partner… just because you are a coward to prefer to accept miserable crumbs of something that is not even love instead of being brave and healing your heart, making you responsible for your life and your happiness.

A narcissist is someone who has a deep inner emptiness and tries to fill it by absorbing others. But that void is never filled, because nothing from the outside can fill an inner void. So when the narcissist feels empty again — that is, quickly — he leaves his absorbed and looks for another with the useless hope that it will fill him/her.

But there is another type of person —which I call a meta-narcissist— who also has a deep inner emptiness but tries to fill it by allowing himself / herself to be absorbed by another —the narcissist—. But when the narcissist finds that he/she does not fill his/her void, he/she abandons him/her and the meta-narcissist becomes depressed and feels abandoned. (The dumped person often hides under the name ‘victim.’)

AND TO HEAL:

The first thing that you must do is clean up all the blocked emotions and stress that you have —we all have— in your heart. Those are like ‘coloured glasses’ that tint everything we see and feel. They are, also, the way our mind controls us.

Then, you fill your heart with your own love, your own trust, and your own appreciation. You are the only one that can fill your heart. Nothing external will do. You’ll become responsible of your life and happiness.

You find your inner place of peace and joy. And intuition is developed. You’ll know from deep inside yourself all the answers —and the questions!— that you need to know.
To attain that, I use deep meditation. I use the Isha system.

Deep meditation means to let your thoughts pass by and give guidance of your life to your heart. You become responsible of your life and happiness. You find your inner place of peace and joy. And develop intuition.

Emotions are like water: if they flow, they are clear and healthy; if they stagnate, they root. If you totally block them —like a dam— then they most surely will explode.
So, let them flow. Just choose the right place to do that. Never in the face of another person, just in a matrix or pillow.

A wise person is the one that strives to achieve the perfect balance between mind, feelings and will, to become the best human being he/she can be.

Only if you love yourself, trust yourself, and appreciate yourself... those are the foundations of self-worth and self-esteem... will you be able to really love another person and be loved.

Remember that you learn to love by loving yourself; to trust in you is learned by trusting in you; to appreciate you is learned by appreciating you. Start small and soon you will see big changes.

Praise, bless, thank everyone, everywhere, every time.
It’s a change in your attitude toward life.

Give, do not take.

https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-exactly-does-a-narcissist-want-in-a-relationship?topAns=1477743754382140

[tellomon]

Why can a narcissist not see who they really are?

They see. A narc sees but they have missing parts of their brain and it’s a shame-based disorder. The fact that they are so ashamed makes them try to hide what they are - even from themselves. You will never convince them - they would have to want to deal with it and they don’t, won’t and can’t.

A brain scan will show the missing parts of the frontal lobes and left anterior insula in the narc brain. They are disordered so they will never see. Yes there are a few “self aware” narcs but don’t hold your breath your narc will be that. 99.999% of the time narcs refuse to see who they are as they are too busy running from their shame.

My ex husband knew something was wrong - he saw he was “broken” but he would then double down making his shame anyone else’s fault by dodging accountability and in his mind re-writing reality instead of spending a nanosecond on introspection. He was happier trying to destroy me and his kid - hurting your own child is not a human with compassion and empathy.

A narc, to hide from their shame, will instead dodge accountability, and rewrite their history to suit their made up reality. It’s all fake. How they treat you when they say they love you, “commitment” etc. - all fake.

The narc will use hurting you to temporarily feel better. It’s complex and you should always educate yourself on the neurology behind narcissism because when you understand the science it helps you get your mind around the fact these are shells - not humans with empathy and compassion. Read more on Quora.

BAM - "Block Avoid and Move-on" from the narc.

So the narcs - they see - but they won’t believe what they are because they are too busy making up their own reality, hurting people to hide from their shame.

https://www.quora.com/Why-can-a-narcissist-not-see-who-they-really-are?topAns=1477743738642844

[tellomon]

How does a person develop narcissistic personality disorder?

What makes a Narcissist be the way they are is caused from childhood either their genetics and/or their environment. It is generally thought thought that Narcissists typically had parent(s) or caretaker who were not loving, accepting of them, nurturing, validative, caring or supportive to them.

TRAUMA OCCURS BETWEEN 2–7 YEARS

Research has show they could eventually develop a Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the trauma they received between the ages of 2–7 years old when they are developing their personality. They could be affected through genetics or environment.

GENETICS

A natural parent who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can pass their DNA to their offspring who then can possibly develop into NPD. Studies have shown that a child has to be in a dysfunctional family before it can develop into Narcissism.

ENVIRONMENTAL EFFECTS

The environment that a child grows up in if dysfunctional can cause a child to develop NPD. Family dynamics and parenting styles are especially critical to a child’s emotional and psychological well-being (or lack thereof), and it is the latter factor in particular that seems to be decisive factor in the onset of Narcissistic Personality Disorder during adulthood.

Based on research findings, mental health experts have identified several types of dysfunctional and ineffective parenting that are heavily implicated in the development of NPD:

Authoritarian Parenting Style
Permissive/indulgent parenting
Pathological or abusive parenting.
Abandonment of the parent to the child through work, drug addiction, alcoholism or left the family, etc.
Parent does not on a regular basis validate a child’s feelings or thoughts.
A parent that makes fun of a child’s physical behavior.
A parent who is very controlling.
Extension of a parent’s desires or goals and not the child’s.
A parent who requires a child to be in a sport or activity that the parent wants the child to do. The parent forces the child to do the activity so the child is an extension of the parent’s pride.
DYSFUNCTION IN EMOTIONAL EMPATHY

All of these things help contribute to the child loathing and feeling shame, uncertainties and insecurities about themselves. They are riddled with insecurities, unworthiness, uncertainty and lack of validation. They lack the ability to be able to love or care about another person or their feelings because they are dysfunctional in their Emotional Empathy.

As a result, they do not have an adult in their life who they can trust or feel secure. They do not believe they are a “good” person because they feel that no one loves them and they are a “bad” child. They are not validated by their parents and this begins their downhill journey in feelings of insecurities.

PATHOLOGICAL MENTAL DISORDER DEVELOPS

During the ages of 2–7 years when they are developing their personality, their personality eventually becomes disordered because they have an unstable ego, lack confidence and coping skills, and security in themselves. They often have to deal with an NPD parent as a little child. At least as adults we had some coping skills but NPD develop little.

MANIPULATION SKILLS DEVELOP

As a result the child learns to turn toward themselves so that it is is the “child against the world” and becomes self-centered, selfish, untrusting of the world!. They begin to develop manipulation skills to get their needs met. Now all children are selfish and self-centered during their childhood and from a developmental perspective, having a "self-only" focus shifts toward a "self-and-others" focus as the child gets older and their brains mature. Some research suggests that the child’s abilities to control impulses, make decisions and think in a less self-centered way occurs between the ages of 6 and 13. However with a child who develops Narcissism they miss this developmental behavior.

“MASK OF PERFECTION”

During their childhood they are observing other people and slowly developing what I call their “Mask of Perfection” which helps them cope with all their insecurities. They hope that if they are perfect to the public then they will be accepted, valued and desired by the public.

They never received love and validation so they do not understand love and acceptance. They feel no one cared for them so they do not understand caring about someone's feelings and thoughts. They are terrified of the feelings they had in childhood and will do anything they can to avoid those same feelings. They actually loathe themselves.

A NARCISSIST’S CHILDHOOD

As a child they are most likely treated to abuse/neglect, abandonment or overindulgence when very young, people who develop NPD fail to form a core sense of self or empathy. Narcissists do not establish emotionally mature and stable identities, self-esteem, and feelings of compassion for others.

Their fundamental psycho-emotional emptiness leads them to continuously seek validation externally rather than from within. Their parasitic need for validation from others exacerbates their lack of empathy, leading to highly manipulative and abusive behavior to feed their endless need for attention, admiration, power, superiority and control.

A NARCISSIST’S EARLY ADULTHOOD

As the NPD reaches early adulthood (early 20s) they develop an unstable identity with a lack of self-esteem with low empathy. This results in the NPD being pathological or manipulative, exploitative, abusive personality that creates insidious devastation. People with NPD are exceptionally skilled abusers with a kind of technique that makes their abuse particularly destructive.

RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST

Those who are in a relationship with a NPD are familiar with Narcissists knowing too well their emotionally, psychologically, and often physically abusive behaviors which surface day to day, hour to hour. For those on the receiving end, people with NPD often seem monstrous and unrelenting. They cause extraordinary trauma, particularly in the lives of those closest to them, with little to no remorse but instead the belief that their behavior is justified and no apologies or remorse is seen.

NARCISSISTIC TYPICAL ABUSE

Narcissists have different personalities however their abusive behavior manifests in remarkably consistent ways, including the following ways:

1. Pitting people, particularly their family members, against one another (e.g., divide and conquer) as a means of control and to deflect blame and accountability.

2. Refusal to take responsibility and blames the victim instead.

3. Projection of abusive behavior and selfish motives others.

4. Shaming, mocking, baiting, and ridiculing (often presented as “teasing”) to gain an advantage and feel superior.

5. Sudden often rages with a hurricane’s ferocity which will drop you to your knees.

6. Endless demands for agreement and NPD admiration.

7. Inability to share attention with others, even their children.

8. Scapegoating “loved” ones;

9. Bragging, prolific lying, cheating, and bullying.

10. Gaslighting which makes you think you’re crazy.

11. Entitled, arrogant abuse of those below them, such as employees, waitresses, clerks, and secretaries.

12. Grandiose assertions of superiority, omnipotence, and perfection.

13. Indifference, impatience, anger, and disassociation with/from others’ illness, loss, misfortune, and so on.

14. Denial, often outrageous in the face of blatant truth.

15. Calculated charm on the surface to others and appalling treatment of family members behind closed doors.

SURPRISING HIDDEN NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

Those unfamiliar with NPD and narcissistic abuse typically find it incomprehensible. This is because the Narcissist’s lack of a moral compass is difficult to imagine without direct experience with it and because people with NPD generally work to present a picture of normalcy or even an ideal while wearing their “Mask of Perfection” life to outsiders.

Even most therapists are unschooled in NPD except for psychiatrists and its damage to those who live with Narcissists, which nearly invariably leads to depression, PTSD or Complex PTSD, changes in the brain, addiction, Trauma Bonding and a host of other lasting emotional and health effects like stress-related illnesses which includes heart disease, autoimmune disorders and anxiety.

OVERT VS. COVERT

Overt Narcissists are often publicly charismatic, making their family’s abusive experience invisible to others. Covert Narcissists are expert at keeping their pathology hidden in the shadows, often presenting themselves as devoted family member or wronged victims with outsiders unaware of their morally bankrupt behavior behind closed doors.

TRAUMA FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE

As a consequence, those harmed by Narcissistic abuse are further traumatized by the isolation from family and friends and self-doubt that comes with it. And they are vulnerable to judgment and ill-conceived advice from outsiders and therapists who don’t understand and may encourage them to forgive, confront, reconcile with, or otherwise open themselves to further and more abuse.

https://www.quora.com/unanswered/How-does-a-person-develop-narcissistic-personality-disorder?topAns=282101195&no_redirect=1

[tellomon]

How does a narcissist handle a strong minded person?

The truth is, a narcissist is not equipped to handle a strong-minded person. To them, the strong-minded individual represents an obstacle that stands in the way of their desire for power and control. A narcissist may try various strategies to get around this obstacle:

Setting boundaries: A narcissist will often attempt to manipulate others by setting unrealistic expectations or deadlines in an effort to test if they can bend someone's will and make them defer to their demands. This type of behavior rarely works with a strong-minded person as they are unlikely to bow down under such pressure or manipulation tactics; instead, they are likely to respond assertively and hold firm against any undue influence from the narcissist.

Playing games : Narcissists also employ psychological games such as "one-upmanship" or triangulation (a subtle form of competition between two people where one tries to gain superiority over the other) in order manipulate and control those around them . With strong minded individuals who have sound reasoning skills and good self esteem , these manipulative never work since these individuals can easily recognize what's being done and resist it accordingly .

Projecting blame: Finally, when all else fails, a narcissist may resort project blame on others – including those who are mentally stronger than themselves – either directly or indirectly through various means such as slurs, name calling , verbal abuse etc., in order make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings . While again this tactic may seem somewhat effective against weaker personalities , it is unlikely ever succeed against anyone with high standards of personal integrity .

In short then, while every situation is different based on dynamics between two people involved , it generally holds true that a narcissist struggles with handling a strong minded individual due largely because they lack any real capacity for understanding complex motives behind why someone might decide stand up for themselves or refuse comply with unjust demands imposed upon them by narcissistic manipulative tactics .

https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-handle-a-strong-minded-person?topAns=1477743637240869

[tellomon]

Why do narcissists exist? What causes them to be that way and why can't they change when they're so detrimental to society?

Narcissists are created in loveless homes, by loveless families.

There will always be people who love power more than anything else,

And these people will often seek each other out,

And they're very likely to give birth to narcissists.

Narcissists have always been with us, narcissists will always be with us. On the day you die, there will be more narcissists in existence than on the day you were born.

So what to do about it?

The anonymous Indian proverb has it that we can either cover the world with leather, or wear moccasins.

To protect yourself from narcissists, you need to get moving. You need to have goals, dreams, ambitions — not materialistic, mercenary, grasping ones like a narcissists and psychopaths do, but meaningful goals that will express your spirit, which will manifest your soul into the material world. Narcissists have no chance against a man or a woman on a mission, trying to slow down, bother, impede such a person will result in nothing but grievous narcissistic wounds.

Every badly sung tune with awkward guitar accompaniment, clumsy attempt at DIY, new friend made at the bus stop takes you further away from the nightmare realms of narcissists and narcissism, and one more step into the safety of the real world.

Investing yourself in the universe is your best protection against narcissism, both your own, and that of others too.

Narcissism is fundamentally about a lack of worth, and a retreat into fantasy to compensate. Doing things that you consider valuable, important, spiritual are your sword and shield against the evils of obsession with self image.

Light dispels the darkness.

https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-exist-What-causes-them-to-be-that-way-and-why-cant-they-change-when-theyre-so-detrimental-to-society?topAns=277992022

[tellomon]

How do you treat a narcissist that says you're mean when he's the one who got caught being mean?

You treat them like the two year old they are, and leave ASAP. Do not try to reason, bargain, negotiate, or otherwise engage with the narcissist, except to the extent necessary for you to leave and never look back. The narcissist will never change, they will never see themselves for whom they really are, and they will never accept responsibility for their behavior. Instead, they will always blame you for their behavior, and accuse you of doing to them what they are in fact doing to you (i.e. being mean to you means they accuse you of being mean to them).

Narcissism is a profound and debilitating mental illness that is very difficult to spot and almost impossible to diagnose, because the narcissist will never agree to see a mental health professional, which is necessary for a diagnosis. Far too many narcissists are covert and their behavior in private, with their family and closest friends, is nothing like their behavior in public. Consequently, many people are confused because they cannot reconcile the two roles, and because the people who know the narcissist publicly would never believe the way a narcissist behaves in private. This is all by design, and provides the narcissist with a way to hide their behavior from the public eye. This leaves the victims of narcissistic abuse alone wondering what happened, without sympathy.

Narcissism is a terrible mental illness.

https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-treat-a-narcissist-that-says-youre-mean-when-hes-the-one-who-got-caught-being-mean

[tellomon]

How do you deal with a narcissist shifting blame onto you?

Only absolute amateurs bother arguing with narcissists. That leaves you with three choices.

Your first option is to make up a ridiculously weak excuse as to why you did whatever the narcissist is accusing you of. Have big eyes and act very sincere.

Your second option is to break into a deaths head grin, throw back your head, and laugh.

Your third option is to solemnly explain to the narcissist that yes, it's your fault - you are an incurably evil person, and that’s just what evil people do.

Don't care,