Author Topic: Tales From The Narc Side  (Read 64646 times)

tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #50 on: April 13, 2024, 04:08:26 PM »
Says a lot about sh!t and stuff.
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #51 on: April 13, 2024, 04:27:56 PM »
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #52 on: April 13, 2024, 05:04:57 PM »
And now, our feature presentation....

Gaslight - Full Movie -  (1940)

Gaslight is a 1940 British film directed by Thorold Dickinson which stars Anton Walbrook and Diana Wynyard, and features Frank Pettingell. The film adheres more closely to the original play upon which it is based – Patrick Hamilton's Gas Light (1938) – than the better-known 1944 MGM adaptation. The play had been shown on Broadway as Angel Street, so when the film was released in the United States it was given the same name.

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #53 on: April 13, 2024, 05:07:48 PM »
8 Red-Flag Phrases Gaslighting Narcissists Like To Use

A favorite tactic used by narcissists is to create doubt within you by putting a confusing spin on events.  Dr. Les Carter explains how narcissists love to gaslight, then identifies 8 common phrases they use in their attempt to keep an edge over you.  But once you're onto their techniques, you can choose not to get pulled in.  Their game is confusion, but your response can be clarity.

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #54 on: April 13, 2024, 05:41:28 PM »
What is "gaslighting"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVBdWSPXyRw

What is Gaslighting | Dr. David Hawkins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLAy6Ju2SMo

16 Gaslighting Examples That Narcissists Use To Manipulate You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvvnlnKuyd8

3 Stages of Gaslighting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC4BTnMvG7Q

10 Ways to Deal With Gaslighting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXG6qG263rM

When you CALL OUT a gaslighter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pniVhhyuKrY

THIS Perfectly Describes A Narcissist's Gaslighting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmxd8osCuAY

How To STOP Gaslighting And Manipulation Before It's Too Late!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7yJP3NzTc4

       ___________________________________________

What are the top 10 warning signs of
being gaslighted by a narcissist?

1) Things will not add up. Their words and actions do not match. Their excuses and stories don't make sense.

2) Your gut and common sense will be screaming at you that something is badly wrong because their behavior is seriously strange. They will flat out deny that reality as if your eyes and ears are lying to you, claiming there is nothing going on and all is well.

3) They will suggest you are paranoid and irrational for suspecting that something is off.

4) They will tell everyone in your circle that you are mentally unbalanced so nobody will believe you.

5) They will spread other lies about you, often accusing you of the very things they are doing.

6) They will project their behavior onto you directly with accusations. Examples: “you don't love me”, “you're ungrateful and don't appreciate what you have”, “you're cold and heartless”, “you're cheating on me”, “ you always create drama”.

7) They will confuse you with conflicting behavior. One day they are sweetly love bombing with compliments and attention and the next telling you how worthless you are or just being ice cold.

8) They ply you with their go-to manipulation tactics; they try charm, and if that fails, they play the victim and blame everything on you. If that fails, they turn to rage. Watch their eyes to see when the rage is about to come. There is a cold, evil look to them that is terrifying. They can stay in a rage for minutes, hours, days, even weeks on end, raging to the point of becoming delusional. It depends on the narc and the severity of the injury to the ego.

9) Violence is possible with some narcs if you are not sufficiently intimidated by their displays of temper. Be wary.

10) They leave in a huff, pretending to be so offended by your “false accusations” that they can't stand to be around you. I call this the Narc Flounce. It's childishly petulant and often a last resort if you won't give in to their manipulation. The narc may be gone a short time or a long time. He or she will often cease all contact during that time.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #55 on: April 13, 2024, 06:02:09 PM »
Why do narcissists want to gaslight you?

The narcissist gets away with their nefarious deeds by convincing you that what’s true is not, and what’s not true is actually true, that’s how they get away with whatever it is they want to get away with, it’s a sophisticated form of ‘I didn’t do it’, or ‘it wasn’t me’ that children do (e.g. they didn’t have an affair, it’s you who had the affair instead)

Narcissists obtain perverse pleasure from being contrarian, gaslighting is the ultimate in contrariness because the whole point of gaslighting can be summarized as ‘you’re crazy (or stupid) because I disagree with everything you say or think no matter how reasonable you sound (or how much evidence you provide)’.

It’s weaponized invalidation, by invalidating everything of yours, you no longer know what to say or think, leaving you in a permanent state of cognitive dissonance (which is extremely mentally painful) and the narcissist in a permanent state of glee. Furthermore, every opinion or conviction the narcissists offers as alternative to yours is bizarrely opposite. So bizarrely opposite that you cannot meet them halfway, it’s either abandon truth (and sanity) and believe them or quarrel with them.

Know that it is no accident that they always somehow arrive at the exact opposite of you and yours. Their opinions will be bizarrely opposite of yours. Their gifts will be the opposite of what you told them you wanted. They will arrive too late to pick you up for the airport.

Gaslighting is where contrarianness and passive aggression intersect. The intent is to obtain glee from inducing cognitive dissonance. Your frustration is not an accident. Therefore they will do this even when there is currently no nefarious deed to get away with. It’s simply fun for them.

You are controlled through your beliefs, and nothing exerts greater control than controlling your beliefs of reality. By making you believe in untrue unreality and disbelieve your own true perceptions, you will be made to abandon your original path and walk in the direction the narcissist wants, on order.

Be subject to this one thousand more times and you will become trained to automatically abandon your own ideas and respond automatically to every tug of the leash. You will be led wherever the narcissists whimsically wants, like a mindless animal (and the direction will constantly change whimsically because you are actually being secretly led nowhere).
 
This is how your will and spirit are broken. This is how you are forcibly converted from a human being into a beast of burden, or an appliance.
What is the single point which ties all three points together?

Narcissists love to toy with you. Toying with you provides crucial entertainment, makes living worthwhile, and allows them to make it through the day, without which they would get bored, and boredom to a narcissist feels like suicidal depression (boredom feels much worse for them than for you). That’s why for their own sake, they have to toy with you.

So it’s vital for you to understand the motivation behind gaslighting (toying with you to cause cognitive dissonance for fun) and the methods (being contrarian, being pointlessly oppositional, invalidation, deliberate misunderstanding and misinterpretation), so that you know that this is just a game they don’t take seriously, which means the way to defeat gaslighting is to keep second guessing them and to remind yourself never to be earnest with them.

Update 14/11/2018

Additionally, gaslighting is a form of psychic violence.

When we express ourselves, we expect a true reflection to return to us. When that happens, it’s validating. It has nothing to do with others agreeing or disagreeing with our opinions, praising or criticizing us. As long as the reflection is true, it is positive and nurturing because it’s rational and reasonable, that absolutely includes telling us ‘no’ or illuminating our flaws.

Other people hold a mirror to us, we know ourselves from what gets reflected back at us. As long as the mirror is rational and reasonable, and the reflection true, what we see is truly who we are. We steer through life by knowing who we are.

The narcissist makes sure they hold a funhouse mirror that returns a twisted reflection, so that you will only ‘know’ a diseased, untrue version of yourself (and hopefully you will one day believe you actually are sick and twisted and fall ill too). Once again, it has got nothing intrinsically to do with ‘yes’ or ‘no’, praise or criticism, it’s the unreasonableness of the reflection that’s harmful.

When a twisted reflection is returned to us, it not only invalidates us, but it also tampers with our sanity and harms our psychic health. It wounds our soul, and it makes us wander into bad alleys in life. This is deliberate.

For example, by misunderstanding everything you say, returning answers that have nothing to do with the question, pretending to not hear you, answering ‘no’ precisely because the only reasonable response is ‘yes’ or answering ‘I don’t know’ when they know you suspect that they do know, the narcissist violates your soul with their overwhelming chaos-filled, nonsensical response and sheer deliberate unreasonableness.

The self we ‘get to know’ from the narcissist is the claim that we are sick and twisted, that we cannot say anything right, which is why we cannot get any correct answers from the narcissist. We will only get to hear insanity about ourselves from the narcissist’s responses.

That’s what the psychic violence of gaslighting is about. Punching you psychically.

At least deliberate criticisms tear you down is frontally. You get punched in the front. That hurts but the front is tough and can take punishment. But to pretend you said something else or heard something else or didn’t say anything or that you heard them when you didn’t is punching you from behind, above, below, or from either side, you’re not ready for those.

Most importantly, you naturally perceive deliberate criticisms as a punch (a form of aggression), and so you harden up and become avoidant, but you don’t naturally perceive gaslighting as a punch, so you instead open up to try harder and clarify with the narcissist, you’ve just wandered into their trap, even more gaslighting will ensue.

The whole day gets swallowed up trying to clarify the first question. And because of that, gaslighting gets through more easily and hits you deeply where deliberate criticisms won’t.

Another example, you want to know what’s for dinner, and the narcissist answers, ‘you mean lunch? by the way dinner will be in 5 minutes’ instead. Notice that you get frustrated. But that frustration isn’t from not getting your way, it’s from the sheer irreverence of the answer.

That irreverence was intentional.

By returning a twisted reflection back to us each time, the narcissist pummels us with their psychic fist, hopefully into rage or insanity. You still don’t know what’s for dinner, you weren’t referring to lunch, you didn’t want to know when dinner will be ready, you just wanted someone to acknowledge your beingness through your question, but instead you got someone who pretended you asked a different question and gave you irrelevant information just to covertly mess with you to make you feel non-existent through making sure you never get your answer (but you get a lot of everything else that you never wanted).

The whole point of it was to antagonize you while hiding it.

You will go mad if every single question you asked only gets a funny answer, everything you said either gets ignored or returned with deliberate unreasonableness, you get favours you never asked for, and you never get anything you actually asked for, and this is kept up for years.

That’s the plan.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #56 on: April 13, 2024, 07:04:42 PM »
The Bad Seed (1956) Official Trailer

Christine Penmark seems to have it all: a lovely home, a loving husband and the most "perfect" daughter in the world. But since childhood, Christine has suffered from the most terrible recurring nightmare. And her "perfect" daughter's accomplishments include lying, theft and possibly much, much worse MURDER. Only Christine knows the truth about her daughter and only Christine's father knows the truth about her nightmare.

"Psycho Narc brat in pig tails. If children are our future, we are doomed" -Ron Tello


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #57 on: April 13, 2024, 07:50:59 PM »
How will a narcissist act when you call them out on their behaviour?

:roughend:

They will firstly act like they don’t know what you are talking about, and what problem are you trying to create now?

They will then act like you are always making issues over nothing and all they are doing is trying - they will have a look of “not this again” on their face - no matter what the “this” is.

They may then come to the party with a kinda admission never a sorry - but a blame game of “well, if you didn’t do what you did in the first place, then I wouldn’t of had to do what I did!” It is not my fault type attitude - and again, you are the main one with all the issues and they are simply just trying to breathe around you.. They act as you do, like they are having to walk on egg shells around you.. trying to love you to see sense.

Their first and foremost act is to defend, deflect and take the anger stance - why oh why do they have to keep putting up with your bullshit?

Their behavior is and always will be your problem. Without you causing these issues, they would not have to behave in doing xyz treatment. - You are and always will be the cause of EVERYTHING the narcissist does, said or did. the fault is and always will be placed at your feet.

Flocking exhausting right?

They will lie, cover up, blame, shift the narrative.. You, you will feel confused, guilty, shamed and try to get to that avalanche of ‘even ground’ that does not exist when you are with a narcissist..

The longer you stay and put up with their never ending cycle of bullshit, the more you will become a little more and more unhinged - in the end, you won’t even want to bring shite up, cause an issue, have an opinion, talk about anything - as this will only set them off.. and Lord knows, we don’t want that flocking silent treatment or discard again, do we?

Anyone that partners with a narcissist is set across three modes of operation.

Fight - not so much anymore, more in reactive abuse once the bullshit levels creep to boiling point and off you go - exploding all over the place - causing issues again….

Flight - you can’t anymore, due to the addiction you carry for the narcissist…. flight mode turned off

Freeze - In the end, you are mostly freeze… until you decide to RUN.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #58 on: April 14, 2024, 10:59:18 AM »
7 Reasons Why The Narcissistic Woman Want To Make You Suffer

Join us as we explore the psychological reasons behind why narcissistic women may inflict suffering. Narcissism often involves a need for control and power over others. Making you suffer can serve as a way for them to assert dominance and feel a sense of superiority.

By shedding light on these motives, we aim to empower you with knowledge and strategies to protect yourself. Recognizing the patterns of manipulation and cruelty is the first step towards reclaiming your own well-being and happiness.



:tello:  "This is exactly the monster in my life."
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #59 on: April 14, 2024, 11:17:43 AM »
How To Use Narcissistic Abuse As Fuel To Improve Yourself

While navigating abuse is undeniably challenging, it can also be a catalyst for profound personal growth and empowerment.

Join us as we uncover strategies to harness the pain of narcissistic abuse and channel it into positive change. From reclaiming your sense of identity to cultivating resilience and self-love, there are actionable steps you can take to turn adversity into strength.

By reframing your experience and focusing on self-healing, you can emerge from narcissistic abuse with newfound wisdom and resilience. Together, let's explore how to transform trauma into triumph.


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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #60 on: April 14, 2024, 11:48:39 AM »
10 Uncommon Things ONLY Sigma Males Understand

Are you a Sigma male? Do you feel like you see the world differently than others? Well, you're not alone." Welcome to the fascinating world of Sigma males, a breed of men who defy societal norms and expectations. In a world where we often categorize men as Alphas, Betas, and everything in between, Sigma males stand distinct, marching to the beat of their own drums.

While Alphas dominate the scene with their charisma and Betas often play supporting roles, Sigma males carve out a unique space of their own. They are the solitary wolves, the introverted leaders, and the silent observers who exude an air of mystery and intrigue. They are self-sufficient, emotionally intelligent, and non-competitive, yet they command respect and attention without even trying.

Sigma males understand things most don't. They see the world through a different lens, and they thrive in their own unique way. Intrigued? Dive in with us as we unravel the mystique of the Sigma male.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #61 on: April 14, 2024, 12:15:09 PM »
How Empaths Prevent Narcissists From Making Their Lives Miserable


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #62 on: April 14, 2024, 12:24:29 PM »
10 Mind Games Narcissists Play To Control You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SxXMycKI7I


7 Tricky Narcissist Mind Games That Work (Unless You Know)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YbsH2jw5iI


This Is How The Narcissist Reacts When They Leave But You Don't Chase Them|NPD| Narcissist Exposed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efRLLhWxR5o&t=18s


If You Hear This From a Narcissist Run, Common Phrases from Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PIKeQjr2pg
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #63 on: April 14, 2024, 12:41:28 PM »



:groucho:      :goodidea:      :beerontap:
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #64 on: April 14, 2024, 12:56:59 PM »
If You Hear This From a Narcissist Run, Common Phrases from Narcissists

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #65 on: April 14, 2024, 01:04:11 PM »
The Red Flags 🚩 You Missed with the Covert Narcissist

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #66 on: April 14, 2024, 01:09:43 PM »
How did I get fooled by a narcissist?

A narcissist is a fool to take advantage of you. Narcissists take advantage of your trust and feelings for narcissistic supply. Taking advantage of trust and feelings falls under the categories of selfishness, madness, and parasitic behavior.

Narcissists come into relationships by faking a good person. Anyone can fall victim to narcissists. Narcissists show they are kind, humble, loving, and caring people. It's very hard for any person to resist the drug they give in the form of love bombing .

Leave narcissists; block your narcissists from everywhere. Focus on self-improvement, self-care, and self-love.

You are not a fool for loving and trusting someone who isn't capable of maintaining trust, honesty and integrity.

https://thevulnerablenarcissist.quora.com/How-did-I-get-fooled-by-a-narcissist
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #67 on: April 14, 2024, 01:30:18 PM »
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #68 on: April 14, 2024, 01:37:22 PM »
How do narcissists act when they lose control?

When a narcissist loses control over you, they panic. You have triggered narcissists' biggest fear of losing supply. Narcissists don't feel good when they can't control you. Narcissists get angry, frustrated, and agitated; they don't have an idea what to do.

Narcissists will start blaming you for everything; they will tell you you don't love them. Narcissists will make you feel bad. Narcissists may become more passive and aggressive to mess with your life and routine. Narcissists will use all sorts of tactics to control you. Narcissists may even employ silent treatment to punish you.

Finally, narcissists will start talking nonsense about you to people outside by running smear campaigns. Narcissists will start looking for other options for narcissistic supply.

P. S You have to leave narcissist because narcissists will take it as challenge to break you down.

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #69 on: April 14, 2024, 01:48:43 PM »
What do narcissists do when things get real and the victim has had enough?

They move forward from random bullying, diminishing, and abuse - to full-scale abuse and verbal assault. They will rant and rage to try to get their “victim” in line (but the victim is now in “survivor” mode), but it no longer works. So they make up horrible things about the person and convince themselves they are better off w/o them (and often share the BS w/others).

And then…they move on to the rest of their supply - looking for the next one to become their “main supply”. They do NOT live in reality.

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #70 on: April 14, 2024, 01:51:57 PM »
Why do they lie and continue to hurt me? What is the gain?

Narcissists lie to have control over conversation and to prove themselves right. Narcissists lie to have control, authority, and power in relationships. Narcissists don't want to look flawed at any cost in a relationship. Narcissists will keep lying to look good in relationships.

Narcissists have unrealistic expectations from relationships that can't be fulfilled even in dreams, so they start treating their partners badly for small reasons. Once a narcissist gets bored of relationships, they are unable to handle flaws and conflicts in a healthy way.

Narcissists come into relationships for their needs; narcissists are selfish and parasitic in nature. Narcissists don't want love; they want narcissistic supply from you in the form of control. Narcissists are emotionally like kids; they want everything according to them. It doesn't matter whether you get angry, sad, or hurt.

Narcissists manage their shaky self-esteem and start abusing their partners to feel good, so they end abusing their partners.

Leaving narcissists is the only solution you have.


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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #71 on: April 14, 2024, 02:13:10 PM »
How Sigma Males Incite FEAR In Others

What if I told you that it is human nature to fear things that we don’t understand? Well, engrained within our coding, lays a deep-seated dread of the unknown. We fear the unknown because of the unknown dangers of what it may bring. If we fear the unknown because it can bring us danger, than what type of man in this world is capable of inciting the most fear in others? Contrary to common belief, it's not always the dominant alpha or the disgruntled beta male who incites the most fear. Instead, it's the sigma male, a lesser-known and rarer breed of men, who holds this title. Making up a very small percentage of the male population, sigma males exude an air of mystery and possess qualities that are elusive to many. Their unconventional approach to life, coupled with a tendency to operate outside the social hierarchy, often leaves others feeling perplexed and intimidated. In this video, I’ll be discussing 7 ways in which sigma males incite fear in others.

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #72 on: April 14, 2024, 02:30:51 PM »
Why would a narcissist fear you?

A narcissist might fear someone for several reasons, often tied to how that person affects the narcissist's self-perception, control, and sense of security. Here are some reasons why a narcissist might fear you:

Exposure: If you see through their façade and recognize their manipulative tactics, a narcissist might fear being exposed. You represent a threat to their carefully constructed image and the risk of others seeing their true nature.

Independence and Strength: Narcissists often rely on others' dependence and subservience for control. If you demonstrate independence, strength, or the ability to live happily without them, it challenges their power and control.

Rejection or Abandonment: Narcissists fear rejection and abandonment, especially by those they value or seek validation from. If you have the ability to reject or abandon them, it strikes at their deep-seated insecurities.

Retaliation or Confrontation: If you have the means and willingness to confront or retaliate against their abusive behavior, a narcissist might fear the consequences. They often prefer targets who are less likely to fight back.

Superior Competence or Success: If you surpass them in areas they value, such as career success, social influence, or talent, they might fear being overshadowed or seen as inferior in comparison.

Emotional and Psychological Insight: People with deep emotional and psychological insight can be intimidating to narcissists because they can understand and articulate the narcissist's behavior and motives, potentially undermining their tactics
.
It's important to note that a narcissist's fear is often about protecting their ego and maintaining their perceived superiority and control. This fear is less about the individual's qualities and more about how those qualities impact the narcissist's self-perception and manipulative strategies.



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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #73 on: April 14, 2024, 03:46:18 PM »
20 Tactics Narcissists Use To Break You (STAND STRONG!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt7QwuL9SNI&t=120s


12 Passive Aggressive Tactics Covert Narcissists Love To Use
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mztSUPynskY


10 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnakWdIzgbk


10 Boundaries You Need With A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwffJmL5x6E


10 Early Warning Signs of the Covert Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mym8D3TrrU


9 Very Subtle Signs Of Covert Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzO4-HDs3sw&t=300s


7 Ways COVERT NARCISSISTS Tell On Themselves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2YBpIqhai8


7 Reasons You'll Never Understand A Narcissist (the walking contradiction)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFPJfti0N1E


6 Little Known Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-sJDVfJcrg


6 Ways to Make a Narcissist Lose Their Mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuJ0vogSlmA


5 Subtle Manipulation Tactics Narcissists Use For Control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lTp5d5LcxY


5 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist (Keep Peace With a Narcissist)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvzlRjrBHZk


5 Gaslighting Red Flags That Will Expose A Toxic Person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wvRRzbT-iI


3 SIGNS You're Dealing With A COVERT NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW1zd-ePPoQ


A Covert Narcissist's #1 Tactic, Hands Down
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw6rym2o_Vs&t=129s

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:rawprawn: :troll2: :neener: :ni:                                       :notsmee:




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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #74 on: April 14, 2024, 04:17:24 PM »
35 Phrases To Disarm a Narcissist and Why They
Do the Trick, According to Therapists

Here's exactly how to handle confrontations with a narcissist.

All of us deal with difficult people in our lives, no matter who we are or who we choose to keep in our circle. But sometimes, that difficulty can reach a whole new level, and there may be someone who continually puts you down, makes you feel small and batters your self-esteem.

These individuals are called narcissists. In fact, narcissism is a diagnosable condition. It’s called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and experts estimate that around 5% of people have this disorder.


35 Phrases To Confront
and Disarm a Narcissist

If you’ve determined that you are indeed dealing with a narcissist in your life, it’s time to be ready with an arsenal of helpful and self-esteem-building phrases that can disarm a narcissist and create clear boundaries. According to Scigliano, all of the following phrases can be interchanged easily in a wide variety of situations with a narcissist.

1. “I need you to listen to me.”
This is a basic need you should have met during any conversation, even one with a narcissist. Since narcissists “tend to have little to no empathy for fellow humans,” as Mahler puts it, the narcissist likely won’t be turning a listening ear your way and could use some reminding.

2. “Please stop interrupting me.”
Scigliano says that trying to have a rational conversation with a narcissist or reasoning with them is unrealistic, so you can wholeheartedly expect interruptions throughout your conversation. You’ll need to ask them to stop interrupting you.

3. “I am not comfortable with how you’re speaking to me.”
While a narcissist will say demeaning things to you, it’s also all about how they’re delivering those words. If they raise their voice and start having an angry tone, you can say that you’re not comfortable with how they’re speaking to you.

4. “I need you to not yell.”
For this phrase, Scigliano says that you want to keep in mind that your goal needs to be de-escalating the narcissist rather than risking the narcissist becoming further enraged. Although it may be impossible, try to get the narcissist to calm down and lower their voice.

5. “I am on your side.”
This phrase edges toward kindness, but if you really are on the narcissist’s side and genuinely want good things for them, say it. At the very least, a hint of kindness will catch the narcissist off-guard.

6. “I need you to stop.”
When attempting to communicate with a narcissist, it’s best to keep phrases short and to the point. Scigliano says that instead of being more open, you need to be more emotionally closed off from the narcissist. “Instead of sharing their feelings, they need to focus only on objective facts,” she says. One of these objective phrases that may put an end to a heated conversation is, “I need you to stop.”

7. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to walk away.”
And do just that. Scigliano says that ultimately, establishing boundaries and sticking to them is the most effective way to handle confrontations in the moment as well as avoid future ones.

8. “We can talk again when you can speak kindly to me.”
Since narcissism can cause a great deal of dysfunction in relationships, kindness may not something you come across very often. But you can remind the person to find it in themselves to speak kindly to you, especially if you’re a spouse or close friend.

9. “No.”
It’s as simple as that. “No” is a complete sentence, and it can immediately establish a clear boundary. It doesn’t go into detail. It doesn’t open you up for additional critical words. It’s the opposite of being vulnerable.

“Avoid making yourself emotionally vulnerable, because the narcissist will often take advantage of your vulnerability, now or sometime in the future,” Scigliano says.

10. “I hear what you’re saying.”
In a debate with a narcissist, all you have to do is acknowledge that you can hear their words. You don’t have to go out of your way to agree with them by any means.

11. “What is it you want me to know?”
This phrase can encourage some clear communication from the narcissist instead of shrouding it in insults and mean comments.

12. “What is it you want to hear from me?”
Again, this is a phrase that centers on communicating succinctly and clearly.

13. “You’re right.”
Before you gasp at this one, Scigliano says that you can say this without meaning that it’s true. If you say it calmly and evenly, it will absolutely disarm a narcissist, and they just might not know how to reply.

14. “What is really bothering you?”
Since narcissists go around with a viewpoint of “the world owes me,” as Mahler puts it, narcissists can often feel agitated and disgruntled with how they’re treated. Calmly, and genuinely, ask the person what is bothering them, and you may get to the bottom of things.

15. “I don’t deserve to be spoken to this way.”
This phrase is another one that establishes a defined boundary.

Related: 35 Common Gaslighting Phrases in Relationships and How To Respond, According to Therapists

16. “I am not able to discuss this right now.”
This phrase will quickly put an end to an unpleasant conversation, and it will mean even more if you walk away immediately after saying it. Additionally, Mahler says that it’s key to use “I” statements as often as possible, which will be viewed as assertive and prioritizing your own needs.

17. “I have explained my point of view, and I am no longer willing to continue this conversation.”
If you feel you have said your peace and gotten out every word you wanted to say, put an end to the conversation with this phrase.

18. “I will be removing myself from this conversation if this discussion starts to lack civility.”
This is an effective phrase to use if you see the conversation starting to go off the rails. If the narcissist begins raising their voice or using unkind language, break out this phrase and they may rethink what they’re saying.

19. “This is what I am discussing and I will not be discussing anything else.”
Cool. Calm. Straightforward. Getting emotional is the quickest way to make the narcissist feel as if they have the upper hand. Say this phrase and simply stick to the facts.

20. “I have five minutes to discuss this, and after that, I will be ending this conversation.”
Since narcissists continually seek validation from their external environment, they may try to drag out a heated debate longer than they need to just for the enjoyment of feeling superior. Put a hard stop to this by timing the conversation. You can even set a timer on your phone and walk away as soon as five minutes are up.

21. “I know how I feel.”
The narcissist will try to gaslight you into thinking that your thoughts and emotions aren’t valid. Instead, back up your side of the argument by saying, “I know how I feel.”

22. “People misunderstanding my boundaries is not my responsibility.”
Mahler says that a person with NPD may purposefully break boundaries to gain a sense of power over another person. Don’t allow them to do this. It’s not your fault that the narcissist misunderstands or even disrespects your boundaries, and you can remind them of that.

23. “I am okay with people misunderstanding me.”
The narcissist is trying to get a rise out of you. Instead, you can shrug your shoulders and plainly say, “I am okay with people misunderstanding me.” Let them know that you’re good with who you are and don’t put stock in others’ opinions, especially if they’re coming from a narcissist.

24. “I am convicted in my truth about the situation.”
Stick to your guns and stand by everything you’ve said during the conversation.

25. “I am aware that we don’t share the same opinion.”
Not everyone has to share the same opinion, but this is a hard truth for a narcissist to swallow. Since they have low self-worth and derive their sense of value from external sources, as Mahler says, they want everyone to think the same things as them. Remind the person that there’s no reason for you both to have to share the same opinion.

26. “I will not entertain this conversation.”
Scigliano says that narcissists will use tactics that enable them to push away anyone they perceive as a threat, and this threat can come out as nasty comments during an exchange. Let them know that they won’t have this power over you and say, “I will not entertain this conversation.”

27. “I know what happened. You are allowed to have a different understanding of the event.”
Again, you may not both agree, and that’s fine.

28. “Okay.”
Mahler calls this approach the “Grey Rock Method,” which is not giving an emotional response at all or giving them as little a response as possible. Every time they say something, you could just say, “Okay.” They won’t know how to respond because they want to see you react.

29. “Hmm.”
Even just a sound or grunt under your breath is enough to disarm a narcissist, particularly since you’re not giving them a leg to stand on with a bunch of emotional words.

30. “Uh-huh.”
Sound disinterested even. During a heated conversation, you could interject an “uh-huh” here and there to appear as if you have better things to do, which will get under a narcissist’s skin.

31. “I can’t control how you feel about me.”
You can’t control others. You can only control yourself. This phrase reminds the narcissist of this universal truth, and you can remind yourself in the process.

32. “You are certainly entitled to your opinion.”
Mahler says that blame-shifting and deflection behaviors are rampant during confrontations with a narcissist, so remind the person that they can have their opinion, no matter how poorly it’s delivered.

33. “I am sorry you feel that way.”
Note: you are not apologizing for anything you’ve done, because you’ve done nothing wrong. You can say, “I am sorry you feel that way,” and walk away. The narcissist may even feel a pang of guilt after you say this.

34. “Thank you for your input.”
This is an emotion-free statement that doesn’t uphold anything the narcissist has said.

35. Say nothing at all.
Scigliano says, “From a safety perspective, consider the level of abuse that the narcissist is capable of inflicting. If they have ever indicated a propensity toward violence, you need to be extremely careful with what you say, and sometimes, saying nothing is safest.”


https://parade.com/living/phrases-to-disarm-a-narcissist
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #75 on: April 14, 2024, 05:09:16 PM »
180 Best Insults to Destroy Your Enemies

Comebacks and insults that will destroy your worst enemies

If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks:

I was today years old when I realized I didn’t like you.
Someday you’ll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
Remember that time you were saying that thing I didn’t care about? Yeah, that is now.
You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
I’m busy right now, can I ignore you another time?
Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.
I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation.
N’Sync said it best, “BYE, BYE, BYE!”
I’ve been called worse things by better men.
You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still.
How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation?



The best comebacks ever spoken
If you want to get the last word into an argument, you need to use these great jokes:

Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
Your face makes onions cry.
Did I invite you to the barbecue? Then why are you all up in my grill?
Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.
You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
It’s impossible to underestimate you.
Wow, your maker really didn’t waste time giving you a personality, huh?
Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
You are the human version of period cramps.


Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you
Don’t hold yourself back from saying what you’re thinking. Get the best comebacks and insults below:

You’re cute. Like my dog. He also chases his tail for entertainment.
You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.
I’m not a nerd. I’m just smarter than you.
I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull.
Child, I’ve forgotten more than you ever knew.
I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste.
Bye. Hope to see you never.
Don’t worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded.
If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass.
Complete this sentence for me: “I never want to see you ————!”


The funniest, most savage insults on the internet
Here are the best insults to use on your worst enemies, or more importantly, your best friends:

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?
OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies, how silly of me.
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross, today.
I only take you everywhere I go, so I don’t have to kiss you goodbye.
We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we’ve been married for 10 years.
When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you?
Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.
That sounds like a you problem.
You have miles to go before you reach mediocre.


The top smart-ass comebacks on the internet
If you’re going to use an insult, at least use a clever one. Here are a few of the best on the internet:

I see no evil, and I definitely don’t hear your evil.
I’m just glad that you’re stringing words into sentences now.
Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh, either.
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
You are proof God has a sense of humor.
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.
Grab a straw, because you suck.
You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ.
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait.


Comebacks to use on your best friends and family
Use the savage quotes below in order to show others that you are more intelligent than they are:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
I told my therapist about you.
Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
Hey, you have something on your chin. No, the 3rd one down.
I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.
You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth.
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
You’re my favorite person… besides every other person I’ve ever met.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
I believed in evolution until I met you.
You are proof that evolution can go in reverse.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything!


The most hilarious, savage comebacks people will love
The quotes below are perfect for showing someone you can handle yourself in a fight:

I know you are, but what am I?
Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.
Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
Sorry, not sorry.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
In the land of the witless, you would be king.
I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed.
I like the way you try.
I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.
People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes.
When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change… except the direction I was walking in.
You look like something I would draw with my left hand.
I look ugly? Good. I was trying to look like you today.


Perfect insults to share with the people who annoy you
When someone insults you, don’t be afraid to use the comebacks below to insult them right back:

I would never date you. I’m lonely, not desperate.
I don’t have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you.
My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
I’d say you’re ‘dumb as a rock,’ but at least a rock can hold a door open.
I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
You’re a conversation starter. Not when you are around, but once you leave.
First off: Brush your teeth.
I find the fact that you’ve lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
You’re impossible to underestimate.
You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste.
Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot.
You are the reason why shampoo has instructions.
I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.
Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you.
If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, I’d turn back around.


The insult that will shut down any argument
These insults are brutal, but they’re also hilarious. Share them whenever you get the chance!

Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
You should really come with a warning label.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
If I wanted to hear from an anatomical conundrum, I’d fart.
I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence.
Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go.
Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
You see that door? I want you on the other side of it.
Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
If you’re going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Isn’t there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?
Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot.


Insults that will make your enemies laugh aloud
These insults are going to convince others to stop treating you so poorly:

You look like a ‘before’ picture.
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor.
Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud?
Earth is full. Go home.
You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.


19 Smart-ass insults to destroy people who are rude to you
These are the best insults to use on anyone who gets on your nerves:

The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana.
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
Don’t try to think too hard. You’re so stupid it might sprain your brain.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
You’re living proof it’s possible to live without a brain.
How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since it’s empty?
Brains aren’t everything. In your case, they’re nothing.
I have seen people like you. But I had to pay admission.
Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up? Because that’s how I feel right now.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Take your parents, for instance.
I’d slap you but I don’t want to make your face look any better.
I will slap you so hard even Google won’t be able to find you.
One day, I hope you’ll choke on the crap you talk.
You have a face only a mother could love.
If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional.
I hope your next blowjob is from a shark.
You’re a bad person. Enough said.
You’re the type of person who can’t read the room. You don’t understand when you aren’t wanted.


Great comebacks that come from famous quotes
Use these quotes to put your enemies in their place:

“What, like it’s hard?” — Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
“Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you. – Seinfeld
“Don’t get bitter, just get better.” — Alyssa Edwards, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Impersonating Beyoncè is not your destiny, child.” — RuPaul, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Where’d you get your outfits, girl, American Apparently Not?” — Trixie Mattel, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Go back to Party City, where you belong!” — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“You are so full of crap, the toilet’s jealous.” — Jinkx Monsoon, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, ‘I’ll take it!'”— Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Check your lipstick before you come for me.” — Naomi Smalls, RuPaul’s Drag Race 
If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.” — Margaret Thatcher Thought Catalog Logo Mark



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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #76 on: April 14, 2024, 05:22:04 PM »
Funny insults for adults

1. Can I have the name of your hair salon? I need to know where not to go.

2. I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!

3. You seem to be suffering from delusions of adequacy.

4. My days of not taking you seriously have come to a middle.

5. You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.

6. You do a great job combing your hair. It’s impressive how you’re able to hide the horns.

7. You have a face for radio.

8. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.

9. If you were a spice, you’d be flour.

10. You may have a sparsely attended funeral.

11. I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?

12. You’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.

13. Don’t worry—the first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.

14. May your life be as pleasant as you are.

15. You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”

16. Your biscuit’s not done in the middle.

17. You’re just like a Russian doll—full of yourself.

18. Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.

19. Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly.

20. You’ve got all the tact of a bowling ball.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #77 on: April 14, 2024, 05:25:45 PM »
54 Dark Jokes for Anyone with a Morbid Sense of Humor

1. I don’t have a carbon footprint.
I just drive everywhere.

2. The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted.

3. When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

4. What did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs say?
“T. rex, I’m coming for my hug!”

5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away…
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

6. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

7. I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

8. I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.”
So we stopped playing chess.

9. Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

10. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn’t talking to me.

11. Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.

12. I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.

13. Never break someone’s heart. They only have one.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.

14. My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.

15. I childproofed my house
Somehow they still got in!

16. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

17. What’s worse than biting into an apple and discovering a worm?
Biting into an apple and discovering half a worm.

18. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

19. My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried — I think she’s jokindkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf

20. You’re not completely useless.
You can always serve as a bad example.

21. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

22. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
None. Historians have suggested most pirates would have been illiterate.

23. “Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!”

24. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!

25. What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour? Its butt.

26. My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #78 on: April 14, 2024, 05:44:38 PM »
Why Narcissist MUST Sacrifice YOU to False Self

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #79 on: April 14, 2024, 05:52:43 PM »

11 COWARDLY Tactics Of The COVERT NARCISSIST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unyspI8AtSI


To: Ron Tello
From: Luka Luciano
10/11/2016 6:06AM

FYI: Sherry has been talking shite about you saying you're a freeloader living off her. Lazy bum drunk...she is spending nights with Kevin in town, says she made you sleep in her RV. Not in a relationship any more. Planning to give you the boot. A conspiracy, Pretty low. That is why I am writing to you. I hate cheaters, liars and backstabbers. Lame ass way to do things. She made herself out as a victim. Not cool...
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #80 on: April 14, 2024, 06:07:03 PM »
Why are simple conversations with narcissists so exhausting?

Great question.

Narcissists need to be the centre of attention while also maintaining a sense of superiority and dominance over those around them. As a result, a narcissist will often come across as being an expert on most if not all things / topic of conversation which often leaves little room for collaborative discussion.

Additionally, a narcissist will often turn any conversation around so as to be about them which again leaves little to no room for anyone else to expresses themselves or make themselves known which can understandably make others feel taken for granted as well generally devalued and minimised.

For this reason, conversations with a narcissist are often exhausting as they will openly declare others opinions as being wrong or challenge others perspectives all as a way of exerting their own perceived expertise.

Ultimately a narcissist loves the sound of their own voice and would prefer to talk rather than listen so that the interests and perspectives of others becomes conversationally invalid.

Everyone's opinions and perspectives are valid and as such everyone should have the opportunity to express their ideas and points of view in a way and environment that allows them to feel heard and valued.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #81 on: April 14, 2024, 06:18:00 PM »
6 MISTAKES That Expose The Narcissist's Game



@haneefahmuhammad3447
1 month ago
Its amazing how they try to make you weak to feel stronger so that they can succeed in controlling you.  It feels empowering when you finally realize that your empathy & intuition alone was stronger than their entire being the whole time.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #82 on: April 14, 2024, 06:29:08 PM »
5 Signs You've Hurt A Narcissist


Silent treatment isn't because they are hurt. Its because  they are wrong and refuse to admit it.

No matter how many times you hurt these narcissists, they are not going to change for the better. It is going to be a never ending cycle over and over again till they age out and their supply starts to dwindle away. Then this will drive them to the point of narcissistic collapse.

You can beg and beg to be told what is wrong and they refuse. So if nothing is wrong then I don’t have anything to fix.
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #83 on: April 14, 2024, 06:41:06 PM »
7 Stages Of Detoxing From A Covert Narcissist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnMdYr-1Zbg

@SilverEaselArtist
6 months ago (edited)
Guys, she's so right.  We need to stop researching this too much.  It does put our thoughts on it in a relentless cycle.  I find when i get off of this researching for answers , my head space is clearer.   We need to go back and do things that we loved before the narcissist.  Its okay that we are hurt, but lets not let it overtake us entirely.  Stay healthy out there.


@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
I'm not researching. I'm sharing.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #84 on: April 14, 2024, 07:20:09 PM »
7 Reasons Why Narcissists are Mean To You (You Won't Believe #4!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXCVVG77c-E


@galaxy98765
2 days ago
Narcissists get so mad if the attention isn't on them.   When I was younger and guests came to our house to visit, sometimes they would ask my mother to play the piano.  So she would play one piece (just one!) and my malignant narc father would be extra mean and sulking around the house for two weeks, because the attention wasn't on him.   My mother finally asked our relatives/guests to not ask her to play the piano anymore.  Sad that she had to go that far, just to avoid his behavior.
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #85 on: April 14, 2024, 07:31:21 PM »
How Narcissists Play with Your Emotions (Don't Fall for Their Trap!)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMbu2N6Vtc

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #86 on: April 14, 2024, 07:49:11 PM »
How Narcissists React When They Think You're Too Strong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-zZESSt_X0
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #87 on: April 14, 2024, 07:55:43 PM »
What does a narcissist do when they can't control you?

I am pretty sure i answered a similar question, but this story is too ridiculous not to repeat. After 20 yrs, our marriage was not going well. I had a very good idea who my husband was by this time, but was still amazed it played out as it did. I had caught him in many lies and possible affairs over the years, and decided he was a pathological liar. He had lost control over me and he knew it.

When it is said that narcissists never change, it is so true. For 20 yrs he came home from “work” and put his briefcase in the home office, and then he stopped. So when he was asleep I grabbed the keys to his car and went out to the garage. His car was locked, another new action, so i looked all over and found his briefcase in the trunk. Inside was a file labeled “divorce”, an attorney's business card and my tax return. Wow!! I was not expecting that.

I put it all back, locked the car back up and went back into the house. The next day when he came home I asked where his briefcase was, and he said in the car. I responded “with the divorce file that you did not want me to know about?” He looked me straight in the eye and said, “There is no divorce file and I have not been to an attorney”. He was shaking. I called my attorney, made an appt to meet with her and gave her info on narcissists and let her know we would be dealing with this.

In a few days he “delivered” the divorce papers to me; illegal in the state of NV. Nevada requires a process server to deliver divorce papers. His attorney must have decided to let him do what he wanted, no sense arguing with someone that thought they knew more. I think he wanted to see my reaction, and decided to hand me the papers himself.

I immediately called my daughter on speaker and told her what he had done right in front of him. My daughter knew that was illegal, her husband is in law enforcement, and told me not to sign a thing and contact my attorney. It could have been a simple process; no fault in NV, divide assets, your done. Because his income was double mine, he had to pay all my attorney fees, move expenses and divide everything 50/50. He drug out the divorce for over 3 months arguing about petty little things, never responding to changes, all the time running up my attorney fees which he had to pay by court order.
 
Then the threats started; he would never pay me alimony, he would quit his job first. So I requested in the decree to have it all up front when the house sold. While I was at work he started taking boxes I had packed that were my things to move. That was followed with me threatening a restraining order. It was never ending until the day before Christmas when the judge granted the divorce.

Once he knew he had lost control he went for full revenge. Maybe he wanted me to beg him to stay, but I didn't. A true narcissist, he thought he would do just what he wanted with no thought that the laws DID apply to him.

AND, He had the nerve to call me a few months later on my birthday to wish me a happy birthday. I let him know we are not friends, and I never wanted to hear from him again. Its almost laughable except this is a person I loved, and thought loved me. Definitely an experience i could have lived without and never want to go through again.


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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #88 on: April 14, 2024, 08:21:50 PM »
10 Things Only Narcissists Can Say

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-WgLrVvEc4
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #89 on: April 14, 2024, 08:40:30 PM »
Now once upon a time
In this village of the damned
I took my shot at greatness
And the goddamn gun was jammed
So I'm in a drunken state
'Cause I can't take life straight
And if I dull my eyes enough
The brightness fades

I left my heart in San Francisco
And my brain in Los Angeles
My heart just made me bitter
And my brain just made me dangerous
I don't miss either one
But I look into the sun
And I'd give anything
For one good pair of shades

The world is a wasteland
From Green Bay to Graceland
There's no one fit
To lead the human race
And you all know what we are
The throwbacks, the retards
The ever growing face of human waste


I first fell off the wagon
On the open road to nowhere
And I guess I'd still be draggin'
If I thought that I could go there
And return to sing this song
But I knew all along
It's a one-way trip
And I can't pay the fare

All my heroes are gone
And their figures cast in lead
From the fountains at their feet
To the bird shite on their head
And I can't help but wonder
As they lay six feet under
Did they die for me
Or did they even care?


The world is a wasteland
From Green Bay to Graceland
There's no one fit
To lead the human race
And you all know what we are
The throwbacks, the retards
The ever growing face of human waste


Sloppy Seconds - "Human Waste" (Acoustic Version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB8TiPwg7zI


@omglauraelizabeth
8 years ago
This is one of the best songs ever written in the history of music.  Thank you, Sloppy Seconds.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #90 on: April 14, 2024, 08:50:56 PM »
This is Why You Feel CRAZY Around a Narcissist

"Word Salad"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5lZj-PFvAo


There is no "conversation" with a narcissist....
You've described their approach to "problem solving" exactly! They don't want to solve problems. They want to shift blame, win, lie, gaslight, project, confuse and so on.
You'll feel crazy around someone when they drive you there.
They love playing head games.
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #91 on: April 14, 2024, 09:01:35 PM »
The Sociopaths Smear Campaign Top 7 Lies They Spread About You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do96HVkhjg0



@oneirologic4462
5 days ago
If gullible people would stop believing gossip, demand evidence and consider the source, then smear campaigns could never succeed.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #92 on: April 14, 2024, 09:17:51 PM »
What is narcissist smear campaign?

This is when a narcissist is going to go all out to discredit your character, to ruin your reputation, to make out that you have intentions and motives that you simply do not have, in order for their narcissism to protect themselves, and for people to look poorly on you and give the narcissist sympathetic attention.

Well, also with some narcissistic people because they genuinely believe that you are the one that caused all the issues, and they're all sweetness and light and completely innocent in it all, so they will smear your name because they don't want to see you succeed. They don't want to see you do well. They're envious of you, so they're seeking to take you down so that they feel superior to you, or they don't want to take responsibility, so by shifting the blame over to you, they can also gain sympathetic attention from those around you.

They're either envious and want to take everything away from you, or they're looking to protect themselves to save their own skin, and they set the environment with their smear campaign so no matter what you do, it seems to match what they're saying about you.

They provoke you, and then they accuse you of being the bitter one and the jealous one and that crazy one, and due to a relationship when your emotions are all over the place, sometimes the person who is acting emotionally unstable is the person who has been emotionally abused, and the person who's acting all calm and rational and playing the victim is the one who abused that person.

Not in every case, more often than not, narcissistic people tend to smear your name by twisting the story so everything that they did to you, they're going to claim that you did to them. So, if they cheated on you, they're going to claim that you cheated on them.

If they had alcohol or drug or any addictions, they're going to claim that you're the one with the addictions. They can actually entice you into their addiction, such as alcohol, so you become dependent on the alcohol with all the anxieties and everything, and then they up and leave you, and they're also drink heavily. Yeah, they blame you for being the one with the alcohol problems. Narcissistic people go all out to make sure that people look poorly on you while they gain the attention that they believe that they're entitled to.

When it comes to dealing with the narcissist and the smear campaign, the best way to deal with this is don't leave them to it. Don't say anything to them because the more you chase them, the more they believe within their own minds that they are important to you and they are special to you, and they will continue those games while ever they get the attention from you.

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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #93 on: April 14, 2024, 09:40:24 PM »
How do you make a covert narcissist stop their smear campaign?



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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #94 on: April 14, 2024, 09:49:43 PM »
Narcissists Smear Campaign - The Psychology Behind Why People BELIEVE Them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvIBv8nGhE


@cooloften
1 year ago
People who're fooled that easily by a narcissist don't deserve to be in your life anyway.


@SirGregg
1 year ago
That explains why i would get frowns and sideways looks when i walked into a room of people who the narc had been talking to. After multiple narcs having come and gone i can see why normal thinking people find it hard to comprehend how twisted and stupid narcs really are. I always brushed it of as being their attempts at humour or i had simply misunderstood them. Give them enough rope!
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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #95 on: April 14, 2024, 10:00:00 PM »
NARCISSIST'S SMEAR CAMPAIGN: 3 Reasons to Avoid Over-Explaining Yourself




@kevinjanghj
3 years ago
The problem is that in our culture, there is a lot of conditioning in which people are taught to see over-explaining and any form of desperation in explanation and accounting for oneself as signs of a lack of self-confidence, as well as possible culpability. It took me a long while to realize that if I were to implement No Contact, even with friends, I should not explain too much because the wrong people keen to thrive on my pain as a form of fodder for gossip will actually take that as a sign of my guilt and then turn the information against me.



How To Silence The Narcissist's Flying Monkeys In A Smear Campaign

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #96 on: April 14, 2024, 10:26:56 PM »

tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #97 on: April 14, 2024, 10:34:15 PM »

:tello: "Ladies and Gents, we welcome smee to the forum. Thx smee! Now sing!"

Narcissistic SMIRK & Sociopathic SMILE [with a slide show]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3La6plggDo



@DeborahLArmstrong
7 years ago (edited)
I had a recent experience with a narcissist, and for the first time, I was able to catch that emotionless "fake empathy" they are able to do.  It's all in the EYES.  They use all the right words to sound like they care, and they even affect their voice so that it sounds like someone expressing empathy.  But the EYES are dead cold, like a doll's eyes.  It's an act that they are putting on to impress someone else who is watching, or to sucker you in so that you'll trust them.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #98 on: April 14, 2024, 10:50:13 PM »

We’re all familiar with the smirk.  With my sister, it always seemed to appear after some sort of perceived victory;  she had gotten the reaction she wanted or had successfully hurt her target.  Zero compassion and zero empathy, but she was extremely good at faking concern if it served her purpose.  Really psychopathic stuff.

The evil smirk! Leave narcissists alone.  There's no peace in a narcissistic relationship.

It also conveys their pleasure at your misery. If something bad happens to you: "The Smirk". They think it’s funny.
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tellomon

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Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Reply #99 on: April 14, 2024, 11:14:15 PM »
Your opinions don't matter
What It's Like Talking To a Narcissist ?


@daft4682
3 months ago
I always felt any attempt at any kind of communication was like forcing the like poles of magnets together. The magnets want to "slide" off each other. You can overcome this and force them together but as soon as you relax they push apart again. It requires constant focused exertion to communicate almost anything to them. Even simple mundane details. They "slide out" from under any sequence of words you begin to transmit to them. You get about a sentence and a half, then you are interrupted and countered, opposed, hijacked, twisted, or told you are wrong. They couldn't possibly care less.

@traceyarmstrong8516
3 months ago
"That’s irrelevant" is what I got all the time.  They talk at you not with you.  Or they talk over the top of you.

@violaortiz1039
2 months ago
You come out of it so light headed like you been through the Twilight Zone.
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