Author Topic: ++++ WHATS UP WITH THE UK BOARD ++++ (Read 568872 times)

tommy.irene · « **Reply #900 on:** September 04, 2009, 05:55:39 PM »

.... 900...

tommy.irene · « **Reply #901 on:** September 04, 2009, 06:17:36 PM »

Two old drunks on their way home from the pub, were stumblin up the country road in near darkness, "Seamus, I think we've stumbled into the graveyard - look, I can see a stone here that says a man lived to 105!"

"Glory be Malarki, was it anybody we knew?"

"No, twas somebody named 'Miles from Dublin'"

*FluffyDuckee* · « **Reply #902 on:** September 04, 2009, 08:49:14 PM »

Hello Tommy. I think you have gotten just about every snipe around on this board lately.

*CountessA* · « **Reply #903 on:** September 04, 2009, 09:33:13 PM »

I never knew how handy that snipe emoticon would be when I was creating it.

(Well, I say "created", but what I mean is "used an existing emoticon as the basis for it".)

tommy.irene · « **Reply #904 on:** September 05, 2009, 05:32:07 PM »

Goodmorning you nice people

Cupie · « **Reply #905 on:** September 05, 2009, 05:40:54 PM »

And Good evening to you Tommy....

tommy.irene · « **Reply #906 on:** September 05, 2009, 05:57:46 PM »

Hi Cupie ..hows the World treating you

tommy.irene · « **Reply #907 on:** September 05, 2009, 06:08:53 PM »

IRISH DECLARE WAR ON SADDAM

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo! Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?"
"At this moment in time," said Paddy after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub-that makes 8!"
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 1 million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back!"

Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. "Right Mr.Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy's tractor from the farm."
Once more Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to1 and a half million since we last spoke."
"Really?!" said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"

Paddy rang again the next day. "Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Ted's ultralight with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. "I must tell you Paddy that I have 10 thousand bombers, 20 thousand MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guidedsurface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Faith and begorra!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back." Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Right Mr.Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy "We've all had a chat, and there's no way we can feed 2 million prisoners."

Cupie · « **Reply #908 on:** September 05, 2009, 06:14:15 PM »

Well Tommy, it's been beautiful weather here today in the first week of spring...the Jasmine is so strong it knocks you over...(I have lots of jasmine growing over things...love the smell). There's still a nip in the air, but that won't last long...I think many have been out enjoying the sun today, who could resist...bit like thawing out...You guys should be going in Autumn soon yes?

*CountessA* · « **Reply #909 on:** September 06, 2009, 01:51:19 AM »

Tommy, hello - it's 1:49 in the morning, and it's been a good evening after a really exhausting day.

The morning was a pale and lovely thing, although day grew into greyness like the silent veil of a quiet chill.

*FluffyDuckee* · « **Reply #910 on:** September 06, 2009, 02:44:38 AM »

*Waves hello to the Countess, Cupie, Tommy and Lynne.*

tommy.irene · « **Reply #911 on:** September 06, 2009, 06:18:58 PM »

Another great day rain..rain and rain

tommy.irene · « **Reply #912 on:** September 06, 2009, 06:32:06 PM »

A man stumbles up to the only patron in the bar and offers to buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '65."
"This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?," he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

*CountessA* · « **Reply #913 on:** September 06, 2009, 07:08:38 PM »

Hello to all. It was a beautiful Father's Day, and the crême dubarry (cream of cauliflower soup - absolutely the most beautiful and velvety soup you can imagine) was perfect. My mother's potato salad is quite simply the best in the world. Family together on Father's Day is so nice... but my two adorable nieces have recently discovered "Doctor Who" (because I bought them the first series of "The Sarah Jane Adventures" on DVD) and they've raided almost my entire Doctor Who collection!

(I should never have told them where my Doctor Who DVDs were.)

Now it's past 7 p.m. in the evening. The beauty of the day has not seeped into the evening; it is cold, and dark as a roll full of licorice in the inside of a coal miner's pocket.

tommy.irene · « **Reply #914 on:** September 07, 2009, 04:47:35 PM »

8.45am and sunny..Goodnorning everyone

tommy.irene · « **Reply #915 on:** September 07, 2009, 06:00:30 PM »

A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off.
As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely!'

The woman goes on, 'And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let's drink to our love!'

'Well, OK!' says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.

'Your turn,' says the man.

'No, thanks,' says the woman, 'I think I'll just wait for the police.'

tommy.irene · « **Reply #916 on:** September 07, 2009, 06:59:29 PM »

Paddy and his two friends, Bill and Simon, are talking at a bar.

Bill says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.”

“What makes you think that?” asks Paddy.

“Well the other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.”

Simon then says: “Same with me! I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber.”

“The other day I found a wrench under the bed and that wasn’t mine.”

“That’s all three of us then,” says Paddy: “I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.”

Bill and Simon look at him with utter disbelief.

“No, I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.”

*CountessA* · « **Reply #917 on:** September 08, 2009, 08:04:48 AM »

I always enjoy your jokes, Tommy. In particular, the one about the accident had me grinning...

Low cunning.

tommy.irene · « **Reply #918 on:** September 08, 2009, 04:53:55 PM »

Goodmorning everyone....
A blonde is overweight so her doctor put her on a diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days," he tells her. "Then skip a day and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds."
When the blonde returns, she's lost nearly four stone. "Why that's amazing," the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The blonde nods. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger you mean?" Asks the doctor.
"No," replies the blonde, "from skipping."

tommy.irene · « **Reply #919 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:03:19 PM »

Goodmorning another new day and nice and sunny

*Ubbie Max* · « **Reply #920 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:16:03 PM »

Countess. what's this "crême dubarry (cream of cauliflower soup)". Sounds shocking, I hate cauliflower. What about crême de la pup (Pluto Pup soup), beautiful!.

tellomon · « **Reply #921 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:26:09 PM »

What about crême de la pup (Pluto Pup soup), beautiful!.

Make mine a Double!

Cupie · « **Reply #922 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:27:51 PM »

Quote from: ubbrd on September 09, 2009, 05:16:03 PM

Countess. what's this "crême dubarry (cream of cauliflower soup)". Sounds shocking, I hate cauliflower. What about crême de la pup (Pluto Pup soup), beautiful!.

*Barf*

*Ubbie Max* · « **Reply #923 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:35:18 PM »

Hey Tello, You would make a fortune if you opened a food shop specialising in Pluto Pups. There's a recipe for them somewhere on one of these threads.

Behold, below is a picture of a Pluto Pup in all it's glory.

[attachment deleted by admin]

Cupie · « **Reply #924 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:41:02 PM »

Better you have nice Greek Giros instead OK?.....The Pluto Pup, she is poisonous !!!

tommy.irene · « **Reply #925 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:48:03 PM »

Hi Cupie we keep missing each other..joke for today.................
A Blonde Woman Filling a Credit card application Form
NAME: Rebecca Nelson
D.O.B: 12/12/1982
SEX: twice a day

*CountessA* · « **Reply #926 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:49:02 PM »

Outrage! Horror! Ugh!

In all seriousness, cream of cauliflower soup is utterly, utterly delicious. It's also simple to make. It's a gourmet soup made with barely an effort.

INGREDIENTS:
	• about 50g of butter (you can use margarine)
	• 2-3 tablespoons of plain flour
	• 900 ml white stock (make this from vegetables, or add chicken for additional flavouring. If you're the impatient type, I suppose you can use store-bought stock, o heathens)
	• a whole cauliflower (in florets - take it apart with your bare hands or just do a bit of chopping, whichever you prefer)
	• seasoning (really, only 2 pinches of salt; no pepper is necessary
	• 2 pinches of nutmeg - add a LITTLE more if you truly love nutmeg
	• 2 egg yolks
	• ½ to 1 cup of light thickened cream (depending upon whether you like cream or not)

METHOD:

Start by melting the butter; once it's melted, stir in the flour, then cook this for about 2 minutes. You can certainly do this in the microwave if you prefer that to the stove top.
Now carefully add a little of the stock, and mix it. Add the rest of the stock; mix thoroughly.
If you want to prepare the soup itself in the easiest way possible, have no fear - this recipe is microwave-friendly. Use a nice large microwave-proof pot, and put the stock mixture now into it. Add the cauliflower florets, and try to make sure they're covered, otherwise they'll get a nasty brownish colour. Cook/simmer for about 25 minutes.
Remove from the microwave, and blend this to a lovely velvety texture.
Now season to taste. Add the nutmeg, and stir.
Lightly beat the cream and egg yolks, then add to the soup. Stir lightly, and return to the microwave for a few minutes to reheat - MAKE SURE THE SOUP DOES NOT BOIL! If you boil the soup once the cream is added, it will curdle. Just a nice gentle reheat, and you're done.
If you want, you can garnish this with a few extra small florets of cauliflower, but you really don't need to do anything more to this soup, because it will be perfect just as it is.

*Ubbie Max* · « **Reply #927 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:52:20 PM »

Countess. "If you want, you can garnish this with a few extra small florets of cauliflower," I'd garnish it with a hand grenade, pin pulled!

*CountessA* · « **Reply #928 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:52:54 PM »

You like your soup HOT, do you? As in, EXPLODING with FLAVOUR?

*Ubbie Max* · « **Reply #929 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:55:30 PM »

Yep sure do Countess. The beauty of a hand grenade garnish is that you still have 7 seconds to get out of the kitchen & under cover.

Cupie · « **Reply #930 on:** September 09, 2009, 05:58:12 PM »

I'll have some of that thanks countess....yummy.

We're having Fettuccine Boscaiola tonight for dinner...mushroom, bacon, creme, and fresh fettuccine with Garlic bread of course.

Hi Tommy....you're right, we keep missing each other..like ships in the night...how about that bomb they found in Oirland eh? was it anyway near you?.

where's lynnie?

*Yibida* · « **Reply #931 on:** September 09, 2009, 09:46:14 PM »

Lamb Pizzaiola..Cue....mmm~~ handed down through the generations.

*Ubbie Max* · « **Reply #932 on:** September 09, 2009, 10:53:42 PM »

Yib. Lamb is good but, what's with the Pizzaiola, whatever that is?

*Yibida* · « **Reply #933 on:** September 09, 2009, 10:58:36 PM »

Quote from: ubbrd on September 09, 2009, 10:53:42 PM

Yib. Lamb is good but, what's with the Pizzaiola, whatever that is?

Old Italian recipe Ubbrd.... it's baked in the oven ....exquisite.. it was passed on to me by my mum..from her mum and from her mum.. type it into google and there are variations of this dish...but none like mine.

tommy.irene · « **Reply #934 on:** September 10, 2009, 05:01:27 PM »

Goodmorning everyone..have I come to the cooking thread..ha..ha will try the soup..

*CountessA* · « **Reply #935 on:** September 10, 2009, 05:04:03 PM »

Hello, lovely Tommy - let us know how you like it!

tommy.irene · « **Reply #936 on:** September 10, 2009, 05:09:38 PM »

Hi Countessa..its time for breakfast..see you..bye

Cupie · « **Reply #937 on:** September 10, 2009, 05:20:13 PM »

Hi Tommy...

Yum Yibby....Pizzaiola....but I'm-a like Scalopene or Chicken Pizzaiola..haven't tried lamb....yet.

*FluffyDuckee* · « **Reply #938 on:** September 10, 2009, 05:45:24 PM »

Hello Tommy and Cupie. Love the I dream of Jeanie gif Cupie.

Quote from: countessa on September 10, 2009, 05:04:03 PM

Hello, lovely Tommy - let us know how you like it!

Countess, I'd have to say I was a little shocked when I first read this and then I realised that you were talking about cauliflower soup.... Or were you??????

Nice pic BTW!!!!!

*CountessA* · « **Reply #939 on:** September 10, 2009, 06:16:44 PM »

Merci, lovely Fluffy - and of course it's about the soup! It's always about the soup.

Cupie · « **Reply #940 on:** September 10, 2009, 06:52:04 PM »

Thanks Fluffy...I think Lynn will like that one too if she ever comes back....lol.

Soup...yes, love soup....Pumpkin soup is a major favourite (has to be butternut for me)....and Garlic bread...yep...that one's a definite favourite. (and a great liver cleansing vege is pumpkin)

Home made minestrone....yum...that's great.....

Potato and Leek Soup....definite winner

Chicken and Vege soup....yep...

(homemade of course)...none of this canned rubbish !!!

Cupie · « **Reply #941 on:** September 10, 2009, 06:53:05 PM »

Chicken and sweet corn.....but I like it from the Chinese Take-away...lol

tommy.irene · « **Reply #942 on:** September 11, 2009, 05:13:47 PM »

Friday..sunny in Ireland..and goodmorning everyone..8.10am

Cupie · « **Reply #943 on:** September 11, 2009, 05:19:48 PM »

Morning Tommy, it's going home time on Friday here so everyone will be no doubt battling Friday Arvo traffic.....Where's Lynn been lately?

tommy.irene · « **Reply #944 on:** September 11, 2009, 06:08:52 PM »

Hi Cupie Lynns still around in UK..
...

Father McGee walked into the church and spotted a man sitting cross-legged on the altar.

'My son,' said the holy man, 'what are you doing? Who are you?'

'I'm God,' said the stranger.

'Pardon?'

'I'm God,' he repeated. 'This is my house!'

Father McGee ran into the presbytery and, in total panic, rang the archbishop.

'Your reverence,' said he, 'I hate to trouble you, but there's a man sat on me altar who claims he's God. What'll he do?'

Take no chances,' said the archbishop. 'Get back in the church and look busy!'

tommy.irene · « **Reply #945 on:** September 11, 2009, 06:16:21 PM »

Tags: Susan Boyle, Paul McCartney

I Am The Walrus, I Am The Eggman, I Am The Walrus... London -- Sir Paul McCartney, 68, is thinking of asking Scottish songbird Susan Boyle to replace John Lennon, as lead singer of The Beatles. The idea of reforming the Beatles has been on Sir Paul's mind for many years now. He hopes to reform the famous band, he said, "before the end of the century."

When Sir Paul first heard Susan Boyle sing last Spring, he burst into tears.

"She reminds me of John in drag!" said Sir Paul, who had very wide pupils and was struggling to stay seated upright. "I was sitting on the couch last night with Linda and we had the telly on. This dowdy bird comes on and sings one of me old songs. Me and Linda just looked at each other and started cryin'..." he said with a glazed look.

"I wanted to tell John [Lennon] about the idea, but he wasn't picking up the phone. I also wanted to tell George, but he stopped talking to me years ago, just like John. I don't know why." said the stoned old man.

tommy.irene · « **Reply #946 on:** September 12, 2009, 06:11:20 PM »

5000..watchers...Goodmorning everyone..lovely day here..nice and sunny..9.10am

tommy.irene · « **Reply #947 on:** September 12, 2009, 06:12:12 PM »

A 60-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever. You have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60 year old responded, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn't believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Who said he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Who said he wanted to?"

Cupie · « **Reply #948 on:** September 12, 2009, 06:18:19 PM »

Good Evening/Morning Tommy....we're a bit pre-occupied being pissed off with Ebay at the moment.....so don't be surprised if we're all preoccupied and militant and stuff...lol

tommy.irene · « **Reply #949 on:** September 12, 2009, 06:21:58 PM »

Goodmorning Cupie..will watch the boards for angry people....

News:

Author Topic: ++++ WHATS UP WITH THE UK BOARD ++++ (Read 568872 times)

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