Author Topic: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)  (Read 865991 times)

tellomon

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Oh, barny wants to play hardball.

Now yer gonna get it!

  DrumJokes.com
 The finest drummer jokes on the planet. All at http://www.drumjokes.com/
 Hey, it's all in good fun!

 • How do you tell if the stage is level?
    The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

 • How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
 The knocking speeds up.

 • What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
 "Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?

 • What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
 Homeless.

 • How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
 He doesn't know when to come in


 • What do Ginger Baker and black coffee have in common?
 They both suck without Cream.

 • How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
 Five: One to screw the bulb in, and four to talk about how much better
 Neil Peart coulda done it.

 • How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
 None, they have a machine to do that now.

 • Why didn't the little drummer boy get into heaven?
 Because he woke the baby for Christ's sake!

 • What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
 Gifted.

 • What do you call a Drummer in a Volkswagen?
 Farfromthinken.

 • What does a drummer use for contraception?
 His personality.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

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some of them arent too bad ... I give ya the drum !

imperfect

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tellomon

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some of them arent too bad ... I give ya the drum !

I'll take it!

Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

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Imp your pussy looks tired and shagged out !

imperfect

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might be!!

tellomon

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Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

imperfect

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Come on...stop moanin and get on with it, will ya!!

*CountessA*

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Tello, you have official authority to add the head of your-thread-hijackers to your drumkit. Surely you could always do with another hi hat?

(But don't hurt them. Just a nice little tap, then let them go.)

More drummer humour:

                         A drummer walked into a library and had no trouble articulating what he wanted. "Hi! I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke!"

The librarian replied with widened eyes and a taken-aback expression, "Sshhhh... now don't be silly! Don't you know where you are? This is a library!"

The drummer looked around him and beheld the stacks of books, the study desks, the students and patrons looking at him in scandalised horror and amusement, and blushed. He leaned forward and answered in the softest whisper he could manage, "Sorry about that... I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke."
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

*smee*

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Well burger me !!!

imperfect

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Gently?


tellomon

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Tello, you have official authority to add the head of your-thread-hijackers to your drumkit. Surely you could always do with another hi hat?

That's a bit much, so I won't. Thx for the generous offer.

Ya know what? Ya'll have high expectations of me, I can see this is true.

I would suggest that ya lower them, so that way none of yez will be dissappointed.

My Photobucket darn near burned down my Mac.

Time out is called.

word
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

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I'm bizzy....







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tellomon

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Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

meatloaf20040

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comes in waving to Ron ???

Hope your doing ok

imperfect

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Kids are so creative.

meatloaf20040

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What did you do to Ron ?

tellomon

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Yeah, what happened to me?

I didn't feel anything.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

meatloaf20040

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Hey you ??

tellomon

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Unlock the Mysteries of Life!!!

I can't find my keys.

Got a bolt cutter?
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

meatloaf20040

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Nar sorry went  back to bed and got under the covers though

**cupie**

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Hi meatloaf....are you in America? or Australia?

*Yibida*

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Hi meatloaf....are you in America? or Australia?

Straight from the oven !...boom boom !


**cupie**

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Hi Yib...is that a pistol in your pocket, or are ya just pleased to see me....hehehehe....No seriously, don't go off half cocked......

You're really firing today aren't ya?


meatloaf20040

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Im an Aussie why ?

I know Ron from [ ] though

*Yibida*

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Yo cupie !! gotts to be quick !...must come from being on Tello's thread !.. it's contagious !!

Look out Bustin through !

**cupie**

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No particular reason loafy....just thought you might be from the US as well

meatloaf20040

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No an Aussie and can you please not call me Loafy  thanks

*CountessA*

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Meatloaf - do you prefer to be called Gina, or meatloaf? (It can be confusing with online nicknames and avatars and preferences.)
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

*smee*

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what about Meaty ??? is that ok ??

meatloaf20040

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I get called Meaty or Gina

People that dont know me I get my full user name

I have never been called Loafy and I dont like it

imperfect

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 ;D

Any more Tello Files??

RiffRaff

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*smee*

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thats it for me then !!




*CountessA*

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That's probably it for most of us, Smee.

Now I feel self-conscious addressing meatloaf20040 as anything other than meatloaf20040...
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

tellomon

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Another day.

Another dildoe in the wire.

Anon, personal email: EXHIBIT A


HI ya,just wanted to contact you to say, good on you for sorting those jerks out on ozrt. please be carefull though because they will attack you and Tellomon too, they are talking about you both in a hidden forum. The Countessa & Cupie want you, tellomon, imp & RiffRaff gone...you can believe me or not, but it's true, they suck big time and have done it to others. please tell Tellomon, I really like you guys and hate to see the crap they write about you all. take care


My reply; EXHIBIT #2:

That's special....

Duly noted.

I'll vanish starting now.

K?

-RT


People are the same, no matter where you go.
----> The smaller yer town...the less crap there is.

It's crap, but LESS of it!!!!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

Centuries

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The dreaded "Hidden Forum" syndrome. They have a positive phobia about things hidden.Sigh!


Wonder if they will offer vanishing cream next time, tello?
“I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, because I'm not myself, you see”  Lewis Carroll

RiffRaff

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Well isn't that interesting. I knew about me...........but.....

imperfect

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*wheels*

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'they' will attack us and 'they' want us all gone! :o :o

 ;D  I agree Centuries, Forum Envy and Hidden Board Phobia!


*CountessA*

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Darn, Tello, our secret plot to crunch you to powder and hide you in a sack full of breadcrumbs is uncovered!

Apparently this is our plan... I'm not sure why, but I'm sure there MUST be a reason. Anonymous emailers couldn't possibly be telling silly vindictive porkies, could they?
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

Centuries

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Porkies countessa? Noooo!


We all know you sign your life away and have to read 16 pages and sign them to become a member here, give all our personal details and....and....and....and.....




:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:.
“I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, because I'm not myself, you see”  Lewis Carroll

**cupie**

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*Ubbie Max*

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G'day Cupie. Marathon Man, great movie!

**cupie**

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Hi ubb...yep..one of my favourites.

But conspiracy theory seems more fitting...LMAO


Centuries

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Marathon Man! Shudder! It is a great movie, but I cannot sit and watch those scenes.
“I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, because I'm not myself, you see”  Lewis Carroll

*CountessA*

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Centuries, that film is probably the reason why a great many dentists are not welcome at parties.

"Hi, come on in! So - what do you do?"

"I'm a dentist."

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Out out out out!"
"No man is an Iland, intire of it selfe; every man is ...a part of the maine; ...any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde"

*Yibida*

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aaaaaaahhhhhh !!! Tello Reply #339.....the plot's out !!...dang I just bought this mincer to get rid of the evidence of Tello / Imp / Riff Raff /

and anyone else we can get our hands on !!.....was gunna put these guy's in pet food and sell it on Ebay !!!



Centuries

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Mincer??           :o :o :o


 :chair:
“I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, because I'm not myself, you see”  Lewis Carroll

Centuries

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Countessa, I told a dentist, whom I detested, that he should feel honoured to be featured in Marathon Man.    :evil:
“I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, because I'm not myself, you see”  Lewis Carroll