Author Topic: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)  (Read 1078251 times)

tellomon

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smee
smee@smee.smee
November 30, 2020 10:99 PM
smee wrote:


Post those skin pix and watch your ratings skyrocket.
Forum GOLD!
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tellomon

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Ron Tello
Rontello@tello.ron
November 30, 2020  12:o'shite AM
Ron Tello wrote:


Good idea. The holidaze were made for porn.
Remember that time Admin busted my chops for that pic of a babe and a super-thick candy cane?
Yeah, let me work on this and I'll post ya back!
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*smee*

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Im sending you a drop brear and a platypus for Christmas

Im jamming them both in a 3kg eBay satchel
so the packaging might be damaged on arrival

If they breed enroute watch out .... The U.S death toll could be greater than from covid


tellomon

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I love it!

Super-size my order. Make it a Double!

You know where I live, you just can't get here in a pre-paid shipping crate.
Sry.
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tellomon

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Ron Tello
Rontello@tello.ron
November 30, 2020  12:62 AM
Ron Tello wrote:


Dear Admin:
Do you see this shite?
Don't look anymore.
Nothing to see here.
Invest in Montello. They have life.
The OZRT does not.

word


admin
adminozrt@adoz.oz Time stamp deleted for security purposes
admin wrote:


All available eyes are on you on rotational shifts on a part-time basis.
I won't say don't try anything. I will say let's see what you will do next!


Ron Tello
Rontello@tello.ron
November 30, 2020  12:NO AM
Ron Tello wrote:


K
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tellomon

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Two Admins walk into a Bar.

Smeetender says "What'll ya have? Would you like to try our Pink Slap Special?"
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tellomon

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Tello and smee walk into a Bar.

Admintender says: " Welcome. Here, try our complimentary Pink Slap Special! "
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tellomon

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:tello: " It only stings for 3 days. "

:smee!: Not bad. eBay is 3 WEEKS!

:tello: " I don't do that racket anymore. "
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tellomon

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Is Industrial-Strength men's underwear an appropriate Holiday gift,
or a social statement?
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tellomon

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Dental records?
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tellomon

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Zero.2 Tolerance.
Maximum bad action 5000.


:tello: " How the F did you do that, Ace? "

Somebody is not getting their Amazon packages today.
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tellomon

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Jennifer Breen
Hey guys, been seeing all the cool critter cam post . What brand, type are you using ?
I don’t want to overspend , however looking for quality as well ..
Thank you 🙏 my mountain neighbors

Dawn Panagiotopoulos
I catch all our critter on the ring with flood lights🤗

Jennifer Breen
ahh thank you

Cathy Martin-Wymore
Ring

Laurie Schonert
Arlo

Tara Phillips
Blink. Super cheap and great quality!!

Ron Tello Culley
Rang. It plays re-runs.



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tellomon

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Just cuz stuff is going on duzzint mean you can play.
Why would you?

It's stupid.
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tellomon

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Here's one good/ok thing to conclude this broadcast day:
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tellomon

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What goes on Behind the Scenes here at The Tello Files:
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tellomon

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Yep, you guessed it.
That's Leonardo DeCapitated ala a Bad Hair Day.

It fits with the whole train wreck concept.
Yes, you will go with it.
No, you won't report me to the Authorities.


Is anything Sacred anymore?
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tellomon

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I like pretty girls.

They're not here right now.

How did this item get in here?

Sry, but is this the best that the human gene pool has to offer?

Send it to the Sy Fy Channel.
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tellomon

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Did ya ever see the movie "Wrong Turn"?
It's up there with "The Hills Have Eyes" and "The Texas Chainsaw Manicure".
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tellomon

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Dental Records, please....
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tellomon

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Daddy's little girl is neither, this one.... Mother is still in a coma but we visit every Sunday.
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tellomon

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Fangs and claws form a line to the left, thank you, and don't forget to bring a towel.
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tellomon

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You two can get out of my town.
Go live with Admin, they can use the potted plants.
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tellomon

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You two, stick around, I got a job for you.
How are you at Target Practice? Can you out-run a zombie spitball?
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tellomon

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Have a seat little girl, your

Dental Records

have to be seized,
not requested.
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tellomon

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Mom....Dad.
Really?

You made it you fix it.

You don't...you get consequences.
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tellomon

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LOST!

This.....
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tellomon

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No Reward.

Keep it.
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tellomon

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Maybe one day I will take the initiative to bust some blokes in The Choppers
for nuisance metaphors .
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tellomon

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Hello neighbors, I need some good advice on this Hot Topic.
My old lady and I run a house renting rooms. On bad advice, the Tenant from Hell moved in. Currently she's spreading horrible lies to the others and now a potential horror movie is developing.
She's a terrorist. Meds aren't working. One more bogus move and we can all possibly be cuffed for questioning.
My question: Where do we take our Case?
Thx in advance for your input!
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tellomon

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Currencies Of The Post-Collapse Society  :panic: :runforhills: :runningman: :drama:

:ambulance:
I often think about the possibility of a crisis so massive that our civilization simply will not come back from it. We’ll have to work hard to survive and rebuild, as well as trade and pass on knowledge to future generations.

The movie Waterworld comes to mind and I can’t help but imagine what things will be like. There will be no banks, and while I believe that we won’t have money in its traditional sense, we will be using various currencies to trade. Prepping some items now will put you ahead of the curve by leaps and bounds if an event like this ever occurs.

So, here’s what I stash…

Ammo. Ammo is going to be a huge bartering point throughout the collapse. Eventually, someday, it will run out. But that won’t stop people from trading for it.

Precious metals. It’s silly, because who needs gold when there’s a food shortage? But you’ll be surprised. Throughout history, society has been known to revert to using precious metals, because it is a common medium to which we can assign value.

Thread and needle. This is another interesting currency that has stood the test of time. People can repair many different items with needle and thread.

Tools. Everybody needs tools. And the best news about tools is that they are not exactly disposable. I have stocked extra hammers, saws and woodworking tools; because I know I will not miss them if I trade them.

Shoes. While there are ways to fashion some type of clothes post-crisis, shoes are much more difficult, so stock several good pairs of hiking boots if you can afford to do so. Be sure to buy them in the sizes of your family members. This way, if your spouse or kids need shoes and there is no crisis, you can simply use them.

Knowledge. Perhaps the best currency around, knowledge has been, is, and always will be prized by all. Capitalize on the time that you have, while the libraries are still open and the internet is still on. Buy how-to books that deal with hunting, trapping, and fishing gardening and building, tool-making and repair, as well as vet science and medicine. Believe me, if there’s one thing people will want – it’s knowing how to do things they didn’t have to know how to do prior to the collapse. This is the stuff we will have to teach our kids.

Seeds. Another good option is to buy a couple of extra cans of long-term storage seeds. People want to eat, and there is nothing better than fresh organic fruit, herbs and vegetables.

Toys. People go to great lengths to keep their kids happy. While people will likely have toys immediately post-collapse, sooner or later, they will want more. You can make some good trades for LEGOs.

Invest into creative things people might want, too, such as musical instruments and art supplies. Life after a crisis is about survival, but it doesn’t have to be boring and I don’t mind being the “cool guy” once in a while. If you wonder what else you should or shouldn’t stash, or if you have some particularly interesting barter items of your own you want to share, feel free to drop me a line!

To your survival,
Richard Marshall
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tellomon

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tellomon

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:tello: " Hey smee, betcha 5 bucks USD that Tessa DOES NOT weigh-in on this one. "
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tellomon

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And then she does and I lose.

I know the risks around here.
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*smee*

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Stop looking at me with lust in your eyes

tellomon

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This is the last time I'm trading with these guys.

They sold me Dollar Store gunpowder.
All that reloading for nothing.
A dud every time.

I filed a complaint.
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tellomon

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Stop looking at me with lust in your eyes

I'm not.
Look closer.
I have teeth, therefore a smile, and that's pricey.

And I paid dearly for the Top Hat, which I'm not tipping to you cuz...I don't wanna.
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tellomon

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Severe penalties apply for failure to reply.
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tellomon

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It's OK, they're firing blanks.
Just want to rattle your cage, shake yer chain.
Make ya drop a load in your shorts.
Convince you to see things my way.
Show others what ya got.
Shame your Tribe.
Flock-with!
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tellomon

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:tello: " But seriously folks, I have troubling info regarding th
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tellomon

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" Due to technical difficulties, we are signing off the air. Good night and good luck."
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tellomon

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:tello: " Right then. I'll just take my Ratings and scoot, DICK! "

7289 Replies
1044074 Views
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*smee*

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tellomon

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There is no mass BOMP pumping up and playing the field of my stats.

There's a particular BOT at the NSA working hard and doing swell, and it is the PERP!

Given this sudden revelation....

I'm not talking to my self or an audience.

Hell, smee could be a BOT.

I am not alone here. I got the full faith and credit of the US Government doing a better job of watching over me than Santa, Jesus and my Mom.

This is special.
And I can't proove it, but it makes for interesting reading.
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tellomon

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What is your major malfunction Private?!!
Get off my obstacle , smee!
You don't have the courtesy to give a reach, stretch or leap around.
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tellomon

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Whatever....


Meh & shove off ya Limey!    :keelhaul:
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*smee*

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Oh I see ...revert to getting the Santas claws out

tellomon

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No, you don't see.
I'm hiding behind a screen name, a chain link gate and an arsenal of Ramen.
Gingerbread flavor.
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tellomon

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And I'm not doing well in my life because

YOU KEEP DISTRACTING ME!!!

I love it.
I'm the Boss.
I can power-out or flock off.
shite don't get done, you read about it here.

Fish, or BE bait.
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Ginger bread flavour ....


Heres an Oscar Pistofforious gingerbread man I prepared earlier