The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)

[tellomon]

19500 Replies
1266900 Views

391

[tellomon]

https://resistthemainstream.org/watch-michael-flynn-speaks-out-on-kabul-attack-says-hes-concerned-about-two-things/?utm_source=rtmn1&utm_medium=rtmn1&utm_campaign=rtmn1&[email]rumennaumovski@gmail.com[/email]

[tellomon]

Better Than Solar Panels? U.S. 'Prepper' Creates Startling Invention!

https://www.backyardrevolution.org/?hop=eyebads

[tellomon]

7 Examples That Show How Completely And Utterly Insane Our Society Has Become

Reading the news has become like going to a freak show.  You never know what you are going to see each day, but it is almost certainly going to be nutty.  Some of the things that I am going to share with you in this article are weird, others are infuriating, but they all point to the same conclusion.  From the very top to the very bottom, America is going crazy.  And I mean that in the worst way possible.  We truly have become an “idiocracy”, and it seems like those that are the most incompetent of all are often rewarded by being elevated to the top of the food chain.  Meanwhile, those of us that still try to approach things rationally are increasingly being pushed to the fringes of society.

If you don’t understand the point that I am trying to make, hopefully things will become clearer by the time you complete this article.

The following are 7 examples that show how completely and utterly insane our society has become…

#1 At a time when global food supplies are getting tighter and tighter, Joe Biden wants to pay farmers to not grow anything in order to fight climate change…

Congress Launches New Policy For Cars Used Less Than 49 Miles/Day
President Joe Biden wants to combat climate change by paying more farmers not to farm. But he’s already finding it’s hard to make that work.

His Agriculture Department is far behind its goal for enrolling new land in one program that has that goal, with participation being the lowest it’s been in more than three decades.

Thankfully, relatively few farmers are grabbing the cash that Biden is offering, because prices for agricultural commodities have soared as global supplies have tightened.

So in a desperate attempt to get more farmers to sign up, the Biden administration has “more than doubled key incentive payments”…

Even though the USDA this summer more than doubled key incentive payments for the program that encourages farmers and ranchers to leave land idle, high commodity prices are keeping it more worthwhile for growers to raise crops.

On top of that, the plan, known as the Conservation Reserve Program, takes land out of production for only 10 to 15 years — so those acres could release carbon into the atmosphere if the land is planted again and thus cancel out its environmental benefit.

Considering where global trends are heading, paying farmers not to produce food is one of the stupidest things that our government could possibly be doing at this moment.

#2 We are now learning that the chaotic evacuation in Afghanistan could have been conducted much, much differently.  According to the Washington Post, the Taliban actually offered a deal to the Biden administration that would have allowed the U.S. to secure the entire city of Kabul…

In a hastily arranged in-person meeting, senior U.S. military leaders in Doha – including McKenzie, the commander of U.S. Central Command – spoke with Abdul Ghani Baradar, head of the Taliban’s political wing.

“We have a problem,” Baradar said, according to the U.S. official. “We have two options to deal with it: You [the United States military] take responsibility for securing Kabul or you have to allow us to do it.”

Can you imagine how much more orderly the evacuation of Americans and allied Afghans could have gone if U.S. forces had actually secured all of Kabul?

Needless to say, ISIS forces would have likely never gotten close enough to bomb the airport.

But instead of accepting the opportunity to secure all of Kabul, U.S. officials decided to hand Kabul to the Taliban and crowd everyone that needed to be evacuated into the airport…

On the spot, an understanding was reached, according to two other U.S. officials: The United States could have the airport until Aug. 31. But the Taliban would control the city.

It is hard to believe that our officials could actually be this incompetent, but nobody will even be held accountable for this decision because we really do live in an “idiocracy”.

#3 One of the hottest new social media trends is to show off the fact that your body is inhabited by multiple “beings”…

Several TikTok and YouTube accounts of such broken people, who refer to themselves as a “host” or “system” of multiple beings, have millions of online followers. They exhibit their various personalities for online notoriety in the guise of “educating” and “promoting awareness.”

One TikToker who says she has DID explains in a Q&A about her personalities, “I can’t force anyone [inside me] to come out but I can communicate very well within the system and ask someone to come out, but sometimes it’s very involuntary.”

Why in the world would “millions of online followers” want to watch these people manifest their various “personalities”?

And can’t most of those “followers” actually understand what is really going on with these people?

#4 A 43-year-old man took his parents to court after they threw out his porn collection.  Instead of laughing the case out of court, a judge in Michigan has awarded him more than $30,000 in damages…

A judge has ordered a western Michigan couple to pay $30,441 to their son for getting rid of his pornography collection. U.S. District Judge Paul Maloney’s decision this week came eight months after David Werking, 43, won a lawsuit against his parents.

According to NBCDFW, He said they had no right to throw out his collection of films, magazines, and other items. Werking had lived at their Grand Haven home for 10 months after a divorce before moving to Muncie, Indiana. The judge followed the value set by an expert, MLive.com reported.

The value of the collection was “set by an expert”?

What kind of sick credentials does someone need to become “an expert” in that field?

#5 After denying a transgender student the ability to use a particular bathroom, a school board in Virginia has been forced to pay out over 1.3 million dollars…

A Virginia school board will pay more than $1.3 million to the American Civil Liberties Union after losing a court battle involving a transgender student who sued the school over its bathroom policy.

According to the Virginian-Pilot, the Gloucester County School Board on Thursday agreed to pay the ACLU the full amount of costs and fees associated with its representation of one of its former students, Gavin Grimm, marking the end of a lengthy six-year legal fight.

As word of this case spreads around, schools all over the nation will be deathly afraid to ever tell anyone what bathrooms they can or cannot use.

Nobody will want to be the next victim to get hit with a million dollar lawsuit, and it probably won’t be too long before the “boys” and “girls” signs on school bathrooms disappear entirely.

#6 When I was growing up, the American flag was proudly displayed in our classrooms and we said the Pledge of Allegiance every day.

But today the American flag is being taken down in classrooms all over America, and one public school teacher in California is urging her students to pledge allegiance to a new flag…

A Southern California public school teacher was caught admitting to encouraging her students to pledge allegiance to the LGBT pride flag as an alternative to the American flag, bragging of the indoctrination on her own TikTok account.

The teacher, identified as Kristin Pitzen of Newport Mesa School District in Orange County, recounts taking down the American flag, an then pointing to the LGBT flag as an alternative.

“We do have a flag in the class that you can pledge allegiance to,” said Pitzen when a student asked about the American flag that she had removed from the classroom “because of COVID.”

#7 In recent days, Joe Biden has been encouraging officials all over the country to impose extremely strict vaccine mandates.  Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin is insisting that “no one should be forced to get a jab”…

“Vaccination is the main weapon against the spread of the virus. Importantly, no one should be forced to get a jab. Pressure, where people may lose their jobs, is even less acceptable. People must be convinced of the need to get the vaccine,” he said.

When even Vladimir Putin is significantly less tyrannical than the guy that is running your country, you have got a major problem on your hands.

When I was growing up, people would risk everything to flee the Soviet Union so that they could experience true freedom in the western world.

Could we soon get to a point where Americans are actually fleeing to Russia so that they can “live free”?

It seems like such a bizarre question to ask, but this is how bad things have gotten in the United States.

We live in a society where up is now down, good is now bad, and lies are now truth.

Our nation has become a giant circus, and the crazies are running the show.  It will be entertaining to watch for a little while, but it won’t be too long before the entire thing comes crashing down on top of all of us.

https://patriotpowernews.com/2021/08/30/7-examples-that-show-how-completely-and-utterly-insane-our-society-has-become/

[tellomon]

Disturbing Crime Surge in NYC Has Nothing to Do with Guns
More Proof That Gun Control Isn't the Solution

If it were up to the politicians in New York, they would blame the entire crime surge on guns. If only we could get guns off the streets, the city would be a lot safer.

That’s not true…not even a little bit.

The reality is that until New York City starts to deal with the criminals appropriately, there will always be a crime. And when someone can’t get their hands on a gun (legally or illegally), they’ll turn to another weapon.

One such story just surfaced to prove this point. A man attacked another man in Brooklyn by repeatedly stabbing him in the face. The victim was carrying a pizza box when he was approached by someone in a blue tracksuit.

The attack was captured on video in the Brooklyn neighborhood of Brownsville. The pizza fell to the ground as a man was knifed in the face several times. According to cops and what the clip shows, there are two people who stood off to the side and simply watched as the assault took place.

The victim was stabbed in both the face and stomach. He is in stable condition after being taken to the hospital. He said that he did not know his attacker – and the police are still looking for the suspect.

Many of the statistics are up across NYC to show that it’s not just guns that are hurting or killing people. If the politicians really want to clean up the city and make it a safer place to live, they have to focus on crime deterrence. That means that they have to stop defunding the police and start allowing the NYPD to do their job.

Right now, we’re dealing with more rape, more felony assault, more grand larceny, and more misdemeanor assaults than we were in 2020 – and 2020 was when all the riots were happening in the streets.

Each year, the crime rises. Yet, the politicians still want to complain that it is the fault of the Republican’s gun laws that allow the crime to rise. The Republicans aren’t the ones causing the crime waves.

The Second Amendment rights are here to stay, no matter what the liberals want to do. And, any of the gun laws being proposed by the liberal politicians wouldn’t have stopped someone from getting stabbed in the face.

The harsh reality is that there are criminals on the street that will do whatever with whatever weapon that they can get their hands on. If New York City is ever going to get ahold of their crime statistics, they need to start treating their police officers a lot better. Give them all the money so that they can feel respected – and then, let them do their job.

The city has gone downhill since Rudy Giuliani stepped down as mayor. The liberals may not be ready to accept it, but it looks like only a Republican can clean up the disturbing crime surge in NYC.

https://patriotsforthefuture.com/disturbing-crime-surge-in-nyc-has-nothing-to-do-with-guns/

[tellomon]

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[tellomon]

1267200 Views

[*smee*]

[Lotus]

Tello here.
So then... nobody noticed or cared that I have been off the air since Monday Aug 30 2021?

Heavy rains killed me Lappy.

I'm using Sherry's for a minnit.

Major set back in the scheme of things.

But who cares?

1270830 Views

[Lotus]

7:23 PM
You sent
Hi. I am having difficulty contacting. I have a serious need to do some business. I gotta move away and need the money. Please help me out here. Call me. My laptop died, now using a friend's puter. Can you help me find a good used one, any chance? Please call, thx! (How's the shed?)
8:08 PM
Darryl
Darryl Sholl
Hi! So sorry, Kelon had lost his phone. He said he will call you tomorrow. And if u want u can stop by the house tomorrow. He’s having a garage sale starting at 8am. 858 Los Angeles ave. I wish we had an extra laptop that works. We have tons but only 1 working one. I’ll keep an eye out for you & ill look on Facebook.
You sent
So kind! This is the action I need! Maybe I can pop in to your sale, thx for the tip!

[Lotus]

.

[Lotus]

   

[*CountessA*]

Tello, I'm sorry to hear about your laptop catastrophe!

You need a reliable computer that will serve you well as any decent minion would.

[*smee*]

That a patter of a minion said mr Spooner

[*CountessA*]

Where is Tello?





Send out the marines.

[*CountessA*]

  A fellow named Tello.

Last seen here without a laptop.

If found, please return to this forum.

Approach with care.

[Lotus]

Hi folks! Lotus here. Ron "Tello" is doing well here at my place on the mountain. He's holding down the fort while looking for a computer. Moving back to Montello, though I wish he could stay. I'll be selling my house as soon as the inspector signs off on the compliance. Ron says I can move up to his place, but have you seen Montello? Ron says people move there to die. Yeah...die of boredom!

Stay tuned. Tello will be on momentarily.

[Lotus]

"No I won't". 

[Lotus]

Tello posted the pic of the driveway with him sitting at his desk bored, cuz he doesn't have a computer.

[*CountessA*]

This is a good reason to have an iPad.

If a computer disaster happens, an iPad can help to relieve boredom, provide internet access, let you play the Cluedo app, encourage you to write, and so on and so on and so on and so on.




Is Montello such a deadly place? Can you perhaps pep up the local scene?

[tellomon]

Well well well......

what is it now?

Late night, alone with Sherry's Lappy for a moment.

This could be really embarrassing if I was posting from the Library.

I have nothing to say.

The story as presented stands true.

I'm shopping for a Lappy
it'll sure make me happy.

https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/109041015781080/search/?query=laptops%20for%20sale%20near%20me

"Paradise Lost" took another hit yesterday.
All the plumbing is gone.

Buckets are the new normal.

Thx and Love to Lotus for all the better Blessings.

(No PIX)

[*smee*]

Get out

[tellomon]

I'm working on it.

With all that NO HELP from you
this should take another year.

[tellomon]

1281593 Views

[tellomon]

OK, there's a pic for you.
Right here:

[tellomon]

https://www.bizpacreview.com/2021/09/16/family-denied-food-for-not-having-vax-card-raw-and-powerful-footage-this-is-how-to-fight-back-1135113/?utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_source=Get+Response&utm_term=EMAIL&utm_content=Newsletter&utm_campaign=bizpac

[tellomon]

1281760 Views

[tellomon]

Ya wanna know why I don't like kids?

https://www.theblaze.com/news/florida-boys-arrested-plotting-columbine-style-shooting-attack?utm_source=theblaze-breaking&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=20210913Trending-FloridaColumbine&utm_term=ACTIVE%20LIST%20-%20TheBlaze%20Breaking%20News#toggle-gdpr

[tellomon]

https://patriotpowernews.com/2021/09/13/left-wing-ideologues-on-20th-anniversary-of-9-11-the-capitol-riot-was-worse/

[tellomon]

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[tellomon]

1281908 Views

[tellomon]

So enny way, as an aside with a comedic bent.....

Life in The Garage after The Fall of Paradise.

"The rats are having more fun than me".

Got a smart one here.
I think it's a Governmentally genetically modified bio-weapon.

It has defeated all manner of Rat Kill substances and devices.

And it's too fast to shoot.

Solution:
Tell me.
m86thecat@yahoo.com

[tellomon]

On a personal note:
Medical Test Results are in.

Spinal x-rays reveal the fact that I'm more flocked up now
than I was last year.

Degenerate Disk Disorder.
CODE WORD: SCIATICA.

Also, I have been given a ticket to 10 years left to live
if I keep eating bread.

I have an appt with my primary caregiver on Monday.
Dr. Carly Bronson.
She is too young to have a Marcus Welby Track Record, but she tries.

Bottom line: I don't think my alcoholistics factored in the Report.

                

[tellomon]

1281990 Views

[tellomon]

1282000 Views

[tellomon]

Let's discuss Brum6y!

One of my fave survivors on the OZRT.
(There's only 5 of us....)

I know he closely monitors my work.

Gee, I hope he still knows the meaning of

"HIP".

I thot I remembered it.

To be "Hip" was to be wise, in-the-know, fashionable, worldly and stuff about smarts.

Today, the term translates into

Hip Replacement Surgery.

w0rD

[tellomon]

Now let's talk smack about smee.

Go ahead.

I'm out.

[tellomon]

1282100 Views

[tellomon]

What's on TV?

[tellomon]

X-Files fans everywhere have always eagerly anticipated the moment
when Mulder and Scully

kiss.

Forget the Aliens and Admin......

...get on with it you two.

That's the Genius of the folks behind The X-Files.

[tellomon]

This here now is prolly G'nite.

Keep it up you Blighters.

I will.

[tellomon]

Social Programmes

VS.

Social Unrest.

It's always on my Dream List.

[tellomon]

If bread shall be the death of me,
wait'll ya see what PB & J will do!

[*CountessA*]

Why are you complaining about no computer when there is such an attractive sideboard in that photo? It's beautiful.




Re hip replacement, well... if you have to have it, you have to have it. Make sure you're as healthy as possible before going in to surgery. That may mean cutting down on the beer, etc.

Re bread - I suspect your doctor means that you're overdoing the carbohydrates and underdoing the protein and fibre. You may not be eating sufficient greens and other vegetables, and it's possible that your food has too high a fat content - is that possible?




My unasked-for recommendations...


• Three times a week MINIMUM, you must eat oily fish. Salmon, trout, tuna, sardines - these are your best bet, but especially wild Atlantic salmon.
• Eat meat no more than three times a week.
• Minimise your sugar intake. You can use sugar substitutes, and you need to become a food label reader. Check if there is any sugar added in the ingredients of packaged/tinned food, and also check the total sugar amount in the nutritional panel. Processed foods often contain ridiculously high amounts of sugar that add up drastically throughout the day.
• Tea or coffee - 2-4 times a day, but it's actually best for your health risks if the coffee is filtered. That keeps the good stuff in and the bad stuff out.
• Have salads 2-3 times a week. Lettuce, tomato, onion if you like, mushrooms, and a dressing that's low in sugar... Mix the dressing yourself if you want (1 part white wine vinegar OR red wine vinegar to 2 parts extra virgin olive oil, perhaps a very little bit of Dijon mustard or some crushed garlic, and some fresh basil wouldn't go amiss, just a little sea salt and shake of pepper, then blend thoroughly, and you've got yourself a tasty vinaigrette/dressing).
• Try stir-fry vegetables a few times a week. It won't take long, and the only seasoning you need is a very little bit of salt, perhaps a little pepper, and half a teaspoon of soy sauce.
• Roasted vegetables 2-3 times a week.
• Try to make sure you have broccoli or cauliflower or spinach or silverbeet once or twice a week.
• If having rice, go for Basmati rice - or if you have access to "Clever Rice" (Low GI rice), that's the best.
• Do you have access to low GI potatoes? If so, those are the ones you should get.
• Breads - well, clearly you'll have to avoid white bread. Do you ever bake your own bread? You should be able to get hold of Hi-Maize (which is a resistant starch) in the US; if not, green banana flour is another with high resistant starch. You can add a certain percentage of this (I think the maximum without it affecting texture or flavour is 20% by volume, but that's going by memory) with the white flour called for by the recipe, and the resulting bread is gorgeous. You might be able to buy low GI white bread... but you should really be looking at bread that uses different flours - rye bread (without sugar), mixed grains bread, that sort of thing.
• Cut down on the salt.
• Have Greek yoghurt (low sugar) or Kefir every day, if possible.
• Sauerkraut is extremely good for healthy gut bacteria. Add some when you're eating a sausage, for instance...
• Octopus is excellent to eat. Try having it grilled; yummmm.
• Instead of having butter on your bread, dip it in olive oil. Use olive oil wherever possible; you probably can't overdo it.


These are just suggestions from someone who doesn't want you to be breaded to death.

[tellomon]

Wait.

I AM supposed to read all that.

[tellomon]

No, I'm not done yet.

I gotta google stuff and take notes.

After this, I may never eat again.

I mean...what a hassle!

[tellomon]

And the news rolls on.

I can't brake hard enuff.

https://therightwingrebel.com/trump-gives-bone-chilling-warning-about-what-will-happen-before-2024/

[tellomon]

Aussie Slang found in my In Box from 2009. Woot!

A
Ace! : Excellent! Very good!
Aerial pingpong : Australian Rules football
Amber fluid : beer
Ambo : ambulance, ambulance driver
Ankle biter : small child
Apples, she'll be : It'll be all right
Arvo : afternoon
Aussie (pron. Ozzie) : Australian
Aussie salute : brushing away flies with the hand
Avos : avocados

B
B & S : Bachelors' and Spinsters' Ball - a very enjoyable party usually held in rural areas
Back of Bourke : a very long way away
Bail (somebody) up : to corner somebody physically
Bail out : depart, usually angrily
Banana bender : a person from Queensland
Barbie : barbecue (noun)
Barrack : to cheer on (football team etc.)
Bastard : term of endearment
Bathers : swimming costume
Battler : someone working hard and only just making a living
Beaut, beauty : great, fantastic
Big Smoke : a big city, especially Sydney or Melbourne
Big-note oneself : brag, boast
Bikkie : biscuit (also "it cost big bikkies" - it was expensive)
Billabong : an ox-bow river or watering hole
Billy : teapot. Container for boiling water.
Bingle : motor vehicle accident
Bities : biting insects
Bitzer : mongrel dog (bits of this and bits of that)
Bizzo : business ("mind your own bizzo")
Black Stump, beyond the : a long way away, the back of nowhere
Bloke : man, guy
Bloody : very (bloody hard yakka)
Bloody oath! : that's certainly true
Blow in the bag : have a breathalyser test
Blowie : blow fly
Bludger : lazy person, layabout, somebody who always relies on other people to do things or lend him things
Blue : fight ("he was having a blue with his wife")
Blue, make a : make a mistake
Bluey : pack, equipment, traffic ticket, redhead
Bluey : blue cattle dog (named after its subtle markings) which is an excellent working dog. Everyone's favourite all-Aussie dog.
Bluey : heavy wool or felt jacket worn by mining and construction workers.
Bluey : bluebottle jellyfish
Bodgy : of inferior quality
Bog in : commence eating, to attack food with enthusiasm
Bog standard : basic, unadorned, without accessories (a bog standard car, telephone etc.)
Bogan : person who takes little pride in his appearance, spends his days slacking and drinking beer
Bogged : Stuck in mud, deep sand (a vehicle).
Bondi cigar : see "brown-eyed mullet"
Bonzer : great, ripper
Boogie board : a hybrid, half-sized surf board
Boomer : a large male kangaroo
Booze bus : police vehicle used for catching drunk drivers
Boozer : a pub
Bored shitless : very bored
Bottle shop : liquor shop
Bottle-o : liquor shop (originally a man with hessian bags going around picking up beer bottles in the 50's and 60's)
Bottler : something excellent
Bottling, his blood's worth : he's an excellent, helpful bloke.
Bounce : a bully
Bourke Street, he doesn't know Christmas from : he's a bit slow in the head. (Bourke Street is a brightly lit Melbourne street)
Bowl of rice, not my : not my cup of tea; I don't like it
Brass razoo, he hasn't got a : he's very poor
Brekkie : breakfast
Brick shite house, built like a : big strong bloke
Brickie : bricklayer
Brisvegas : Brisbane, state capital of Queensland
Brizzie : Brisbane, state capital of Queensland
Brown-eyed mullet : a turd in the sea (where you're swimming!)
Brumby : a wild horse
Buck's night : stag party, male gathering the night before the wedding
Buckley's, Buckley's chance : no chance ("New Zealand stands Buckley's of beating Australia at football")
Budgie smugglers : men's bathing costume
Bull bar : stout bar fixed to the front of a vehicle to protect it against hitting kangaroos (also roo bar)
Bundy : short for Bundaberg, Queensland, and the brand of rum that's made there
Bunyip : mythical outback creature
Bush : the hinterland, the Outback, anywhere that isn't in town
Bush bash : long competitive running or motorcar race through the bush
Bush oyster : nasal mucus
Bush telly : campfire
Bushie : someone who lives in the Bush
Bushman's hanky : Emitting nasal mucus by placing one index finger on the outside of the nose (thus blocking one nostril) and blowing.
Bushranger : highwayman, outlaw
Butcher : small glass of beer in South Australia - From the theory that a butcher could take a quick break from his job, have a drink and be back at work
BYO : unlicensed restaurant where you have to Bring Your Own grog, also similar party or barbecue
Home page   Top of page
C
Cab Sav : Cabernet Sauvignon (a variety of wine grape)
Cactus : dead, not functioning ("this bloody washing machine is cactus")
Cane toad : a person from Queensland
Captain Cook : look (noun) ("let's have a Captain Cook")
Cark it : to die, cease functioning
Cat burying shite, as busy as a : busy
Cat's piss, as mean as : mean, stingy, uncharitable
Chewie : chewing gum
Chokkie : chocolate
Chook : a chicken
Chrissie : Christmas
Christmas : see Bourke Street
Chuck a sickie : take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy
Chunder : vomit
Clacker : anus (from Latin cloaca = sewer). Also the single orifice of monotremes (platypus and echidna) used both for reproduction and for the elimination of body wastes.
Clayton's : fake, substitute
Cleanskin : Bottle of wine without a label. Usually bought in bulk by companies who then add their own personalised label and use the wine as e.g. gifts to clients
Cleanskin : cattle that have not been branded, earmarked or castrated.
Click : kilometre - "it's 10 clicks away"
Clucky : feeling broody or maternal
Coathanger : Sydney Harbour bridge
Cobber : friend
Cockie : farmer (Farmers were called cockies in the early days of European settlement because, like the birds of the same name, they made their homes on the edges of permanent waterholes)
Cockie : cockatoo
Cockie : cockroach
Cockroach : a person from New South Wales
Coldie : a beer
Come a gutser : make a bad mistake, have an accident
Compo : Workers' Compensation pay
Conch (adj. conchy) : a conscientious person. Somebody who would rather work or study than go out and enjoy him/herself.
Cooee, not within : figuratively a long way away, far off - England weren't within cooee of beating Australia at cricket
Cooee, within : nearby - I was within cooee of landing a big fish when the line broke. He lives within cooee of Sydney.
Cook (noun) : One's wife
Corker : something excellent. A good stroke in cricket might be described as a 'corker of a shot'
Corroboree : an aboriginal dance festival
Counter lunch/Countery : pub lunch
Cozzie : swimming costume
Crack a fat : get an erection
Crack onto (someone) : to hit on someone, pursue someone romantically
Cranky : in a bad mood, angry
Cream (verb) : defeat by a large margin
Crook : sick, or badly made
Crow eater : a person from South Australia
Cubby house : Small, usually timber, house in the garden used as a children's plaything.
Cut lunch : sandwiches
Cut lunch commando : army reservist
Cut snake, mad as a : very angry
D
Dag : a funny person, nerd, goof
Daks : trousers
Damper : bread made from flour and water
Date : arse[hole] ("get off your fat date")
Dead dingo's donger, as dry as a : dry
Dead horse : Tomato sauce
Deadset : true, the truth
Dero : tramp, hobo, homeless person (from "derelict")
Richard Cranium : see "whacker"
Digger : a soldier
Dill : an idiot
Dingo's breakfast : a yawn, a leak and a good look round (i.e. no breakfast)
Dinkum, fair dinkum : true, real, genuine ("I'm a dinkum Aussie"; "is he fair dinkum?")
Dinky-di : the real thing, genuine
Dipstick : a loser, idiot
Divvy van : Police vehicle used for transporting criminals. Named after the protective 'division' between the driver and the villains.
Dob (somebody) in : inform on somebody. Hence dobber, a tell-tale
Docket : a bill, receipt
Doco : documentary
Dog : unattractive woman
Dog's balls, stands out like : obvious
Dog's eye : meat pie
Dole bludger : somebody on social assistance when unjustified
Donger : penis
Doodle : penis
Down Under : Australia and New Zealand
Drink with the flies : to drink alone
Drongo : a dope, stupid person
Dropkick : see 'dipstick'
Drum : information, tip-off ("I'll give you the drum")
Duchess : sideboard
Duffer, cattle : rustler
Dummy, spit the : get very upset at something
Dunny : outside lavatory
Dunny budgie : blowfly
Dunny rat, cunning as a : very cunning
Durry : tobacco, cigarette
Dux : top of the class (n.); to be top of the class (v.) - "She duxed four of her subjects".
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E
Earbashing : nagging, non-stop chatter
Ekka : the Brisbane Exhibition, an annual show
Esky : large insulated food/drink container for picnics, barbecues etc.
Exy : expensive
F
Face, off one's : drunk ("He was off his face by 9pm")
Fair dinkum : true, genuine
Fair go : a chance ("give a bloke a fair go")
Fair suck of the sav! : exclamation of wonder, awe, disbelief (see also "sav")
Fairy floss : candy floss, cotton candy
Feral : V8 ute (q.v.) sporting large heavy bullbar, numerous aerials, large truck mudflaps and stickers almost all over the rear window and tailgate. Sometimes seen with a Mack emblem on the bonnet and always with large (multiple) driving lights
Feral (n.) : a hippie
Figjam : "F*ck I'm good; just ask me". Nickname for people who have a high opinion of themselves.
Fisho : fishmonger
Flake : shark's flesh (sold in fish & chips shops)
Flat out like a lizard drinking : flat out, busy
Flick : to give something or somebody the flick is to get rid of it or him/her
Flick it on : to sell something, usually for a quick profit, soon after buying it.
Fly wire : gauze flyscreen covering a window or doorway.
Footy : Australian Rules football
Fossick : search, rummage ("fossicking through the kitchen drawers")
Fossick : to prospect, e.g. for gold
Fossicker : prospector, e.g. for gold
Franger : condom
Freckle : anus
Fremantle Doctor : the cooling afternoon breeze that arrives in Perth from the direction of Freeo
Freo : Fremantle in Western Australia
Frog in a sock, as cross as a : sounding angry - a person or your hard drive!
Fruit loop : fool
Full : drunk
Furphy : false or unreliable rumour
G
G'Day : hello!
Gabba : Wooloongabba - the Brisbane cricket ground
GAFA (pron. gaffa) : the big nothingness of the Australian Outback. Great Australian F**k All.
Galah : fool, silly person. Named after the bird of the same name because of its antics and the noise it makes.
Garbo, garbologist : municipal garbage collector
Give it a burl : try it, have a go
Gobful, give a : to abuse, usually justifiably ("The neighbours were having a noisy party so I went and gave them a gobful")
Gobsmacked : surprised, astounded
Going off : used of a night spot or party that is a lot of fun - "the place was really going off"
Good oil : useful information, a good idea, the truth
Good onya : good for you, well done
Goog, as full as a : drunk. "Goog" is a variation of the northern English slangword "goggie" meaning an egg.
Greenie : environmentalist
Grinning like a shot fox : very happy, smugly satisfied
Grog : liquor, beer ("bring your own grog, you bludger")
Grouse (adj.) : great, terrific, very good
Grundies : undies, underwear (from Reg Grundy, a television person)
Gutful of piss : drunk, "he's got a gutful of piss"
Gyno : gynaecologist
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H
Handle : beer glass with a handle
Harold Holt, to do the : To bolt. (Also "to do the Harold")
Heaps : a lot, e.g. "thanks heaps", "(s)he earned heaps of money" etc.
Holy dooley! : an exclamation of surprise = "Good heavens!", "My goodness!" "Good grief!" or similar
Hoon : hooligan
Hooroo : goodbye
Hotel : often just a pub
Hottie : hot water bottle
I
Icy pole, ice block : popsicle, lollypop
J
Jackaroo : a male trainee station manager or station hand (a station is a big farm/grazing property)
Jillaroo : a female trainee station manager or station hand
Joey : baby kangaroo
Journo : journalist
Jug : electric kettle
Jumbuck : sheep
K
Kangaroos loose in the top paddock : Intellectually inadequate ("he's got kangaroos loose in the top paddock")
Kelpie : Australian sheepdog originally bred from Scottish collie
Kero : kerosene
Kindie : kindergarten
Knock : to criticise
Knock back : refusal (noun), refuse (transitive verb)
Knocker : somebody who criticises
L
Lair : a flashily dressed young man of brash and vulgar behaviour, to dress up in flashy clothes, to renovate or dress up something in bad taste
Lair it up : to behave in a brash and vulgar manner
Larrikin : a bloke who is always enjoying himself, harmless prankster
Lend of, to have a : to take advantage of somebody's gullibility, to have someone on ("he's having a lend of you")
Lippy : lipstick
Liquid laugh : vomit
Lizard drinking, flat out like a : flat out, busy
Lob, lob in : drop in to see someone ("the rellies have lobbed")
Lollies : sweets, candy
London to a brick : absolute certainty ("it's London to a brick that taxes won't go down")
Long paddock : the side of the road where livestock is grazed during droughts
Longneck : 750ml bottle of beer in South Australia
Lucky Country, The : Australia, where else?
Lunch, who opened their? : OK, who farted?
Lurk : illegal or underhanded racket
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M
Maccas (pron. "mackers") : McDonald's (the hamburger place)
Mallee bull, as fit as a : very fit and strong. The Mallee is very arid beef country in Victoria/South Australia.
Manchester : Household linen, eg sheets etc.
Mappa Tassie : map of Tasmania - a woman's pubic area
Mate : buddy, friend
Mate's rate, mate's discount : cheaper than usual for a "friend"
Matilda : swagman's bedding, sleeping roll
Metho : methylated spirits
Mexican : a person from south of the Queensland or New South Wales border
Mickey Mouse : excellent, very good. Beware though - in some parts of Australia it means inconsequential, frivolous or not very good!
Middy : 285 ml beer glass in New South Wales
Milk bar : corner shop that sells takeaway food
Milko : milkman
Mob : group of people, not necessarily troublesome
Mob : family or herd (?) of kangaroos
Mongrel : despicable person
Moolah : money
Mozzie : mosquito
Muddy : mud crab (a great delicacy)
Mug : friendly insult ("have a go, yer mug"), gullible person
Mull : grass (the kind you smoke)
Muster : round up sheep or cattle
Mystery bag : a sausage
N
Nasho : National Service (compulsory military service)
Naughty, have a : have sex
Never Never : the Outback, centre of Australia
Nipper : young surf lifesaver
No drama : same as 'no worries'
No worries! : Expression of forgiveness or reassurance (No problem; forget about it; I can do it; Yes, I'll do it)
No-hoper : somebody who'll never do well
Not the full quid : not bright intellectually
Nuddy, in the : naked
Nun's nasty, as dry as a : dry
Nut out : hammer out or work out (an agreement, say)
O
O.S. : overseas ("he's gone O.S.")
Ocker : an unsophisticated person
Offsider : an assistant, helper
Old fella : penis
Oldies : parents - "I'll have to ask my oldies"
Op shop : opportunity shop, thrift store, place where second hand goods are sold.
Outback : interior of Australia
Oz : Australia!
P
Paddock : see 'long paddock'
Pash : a long passionate kiss; hence "pashing on"
Pav : Pavlova - a rich, creamy Australian dessert
Perve (noun & verb) : looking lustfully at the opposite sex
Piece of piss : easy task
Pig's arse! : I don't agree with you
Piker : Someone who doesn't want to fit in with others socially, leaves parties early
Pink slip, get the : get the sack (from the colour of the termination form)
Pint : large glass of beer (esp. in South Australia)
Piss : beer. Hence "hit the piss", "sink some piss"
Plate, bring a : Instruction on party or BBQ invitation to bring your own food. It doesn't mean they're short of crockery!
Plonk : cheap wine
Pokies : poker machines, fruit machines, gambling slot machines
Polly : politician
Pom, pommy, pommie : an Englishman • See the complaint about "Pom" etc.
Pommy bastard : an Englishman (see also 'bastard')
Pommy shower : using deodorant instead of taking a shower
Pommy's towel, as dry as a : very dry - based on the canard that Poms bathe about once a month
Porky : Lie, untruth (pork pie = lie)
Port : suitcase (portmanteau)
Postie : postman, mailman
Pot : 285 ml beer glass in Queensland and Victoria
Pozzy : position - get a good pozzy at the football stadium
Prezzy : present, gift
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Q
Quid, make a : earn a living - "are you making a quid?"
Quid, not the full : of low IQ. [Historical note: 'quid' is slang for a pound. £1 became $2 when Australia converted to decimal currency]
R
Rack off : push off! get lost! get out of here! also "rack off hairy legs!".
Rage : party
Rage on : to continue partying - "we raged on until 3am"
Rapt : pleased, delighted
Ratbag : mild insult
Raw prawn, to come the : to bullshit, to be generally disagreeable
Reckon! : you bet! Absolutely!
Reffo : refugee
Rego : vehicle registration
Rellie or relo : family relative
Ridgy-didge : original, genuine
Right, she : it'll be all right
Right, that'd be : Accepting bad news as inevitable. ("I went fishing but caught nothing." "Yeah, that'd be right.")
Rip snorter : great, fantastic - "it was a rip snorter of a party"
Ripper : great, fantastic - "it was a ripper party"
Ripper, you little! : Exclamation of delight or as a reaction to good news
Road train : big truck with many trailers
Roadie : a beer you buy to take away with you
Rock up : to turn up, to arrive - "we rocked up at their house at 8pm"
Rollie : a cigarette that you roll yourself
Roo : kangaroo
Roo bar : stout bar fixed to the front of a vehicle to protect it against hitting kangaroos (also bull bar)
Root (verb and noun) : synonym for f*ck in nearly all its senses: "I feel rooted"; "this washing machine is rooted"; "(s)he's a good root". A very useful word in fairly polite company.
Root rat : somebody who is constantly looking for sex.
Ropeable : very angry
Rort (verb or noun) : Cheating, fiddling, defrauding (expenses, the system etc.). Usually used of politicians
Rotten : drunk - "I went out last night and got rotten"
Rubbish (verb) : to criticize
S
Salute, Aussie : brushing flies away
Salvos, the : Salvation Army, bless them
Sandgroper : a person from Western Australia
Sanger : a sandwich
Sav : saveloy (see also "fair suck of the sav!")
Schooner : large beer glass in Queensland; medium beer glass in South Australia
Scratchy : instant lottery ticket
Screamer : party lover; "two pot screamer" - somebody who gets drunk on very little alcohol
Seppo : an American
Servo : petrol station
Shag on a rock, stands out like a : very obvious
Shark biscuit : somebody new to surfing
She'll be right : it'll turn out okay
Sheepshagger : A New Zealander
Sheila : a woman
shite house (adj.) : of poor quality, unenjoyable ("this car is shite house", "the movie was shite house")
shite house (noun) : toilet, lavatory
Shonky : dubious, underhanded. E.g. a shonky practice, shonky business etc.
Shoot through : to leave
Shout : turn to buy - a round of drinks usually ("it's your shout")
Show pony : someone who tries hard, by his dress or behaviour, to impress those around him.
Sickie : day off sick from work (chuck a sickie = take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy!)
Skite : boast, brag
Skull/Skol (a beer) : to drink a beer in a single draught without taking a breath
Slab : a carton of 24 bottles or cans of beer
Sleepout : house verandah converted to a bedroom
Smoko : smoke or coffee break
Snag : a sausage
Sook : person or animal who is soft, tame, inoffensive. Hence sooky (adj.)
Spag bol : spaghetti bolognese
Spewin' : very angry
Spiffy, pretty spiffy : great, excellent
Spit the dummy : get very upset at something
Spruiker : man who stands outside a nightclub or restaurant trying to persuade people to enter
Sprung : caught doing something wrong
Spunk : a good looking person (of either sex)
Squizz (noun) : look - "take a squizz at this"
Standover man : a large man, usually gang-related, who threatens people with physical violence in order to have his wishes carried out.
Station : a big farm/grazing property
Stickybeak : nosy person
Stoked : very pleased
Stonkered : beaten, defeated, cornered, perplexed
Strewth : exclamation, mild oath ("Strewth, that Chris is a bonzer bloke")
Strides : trousers
Strine : Australian slang and pronunciation
Stubby : a 375ml. beer bottle
Stubby holder : polystyrene insulated holder for a stubby
Stuffed, I feel : I'm tired
Stuffed, I'll be : expression of surprise
Sunbake : sunbathe
Sunnies : sunglasses
Surfies : people who go surfing - usually more often than they go to work!
Swag : rolled up bedding etc. carried by a swagman
Swaggie : swagman
Swagman : tramp, hobo
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T
Tall poppies : successful people
Tall poppy syndrome : the tendency to criticize successful people
Tallie : 750ml bottle of beer
Taswegian : derogatory term for a person from Tasmania
Tea : supper
Technicolor yawn : vomit
Tee-up : to set up (an appointment)
Thingo : Wadjamacallit, thingummy, whatsit
Thongs : cheap rubber backless sandals
Throw-down : small bottle of beer which you can throw down quickly.
Tickets, to have on oneself : to have a high opinion of oneself
Tinny : can of beer
Tinny : small aluminium boat
Tinny, tin-arsed : lucky
Togs : swim suit
Too right! : definitely!
Top End : far north of Australia
Trackie daks/dacks : tracksuit pants
Trackies : track suit
Troppo, gone : to have escaped to a state of tropical madness; to have lost the veneer of civilisation after spending too long in the tropics.
Trough lolly : the solid piece of perfumed disinfectant in a men's urinal
Truckie : truck driver
True blue : patriotic
Tucker : food
Tucker-bag : food bag
Turps : turpentine, alcoholic drink
Turps, hit the : go on a drinking binge
Two up : gambling game played by spinning two coins simultaneously
U
Ugg boots : Australian sheepskin boots worn by surfers since at least the 1960s to keep warm while out of the water. Also worn by airmen during WW1 and WW2 because of the need to maintain warmth in non-pressurized planes at high altitudes.
Ugh : ugly. hence Ugg boots
Uni : university
Unit : flat, apartment
Up oneself : have a high opinion of oneself - "he's really up himself"
Up somebody, get : to rebuke somebody - "the boss got up me for being late"
Useful as an ashtray on a motorbike / tits on a bull : unhelpful or incompetent person or thing - "he, she or it is about as useful as tits on a bull" etc. etc.
Ute : utility vehicle, pickup truck
V
Vedgies : vegetables
Vee dub : Volkswagen
Veg out : relax in front of the TV (like a vegetable)
Vejjo : vegetarian
Vinnie's : St. Vincent De Paul's (charity thrift stores and hostels)
W
WACA (pron. whacker) : Western Australian Cricket Association and the Perth cricket ground
Waggin' school : playing truant
Walkabout : a walk in the Outback by Aborigines that lasts for an indefinite amount of time
Walkabout, it's gone : it's lost, can't be found
Weekend warrior : army reservist
Whacker, whacka : Idiot; somebody who talks drivel; somebody with whom you have little patience; a Richard Cranium
Whinge : complain
White pointers : topless (female) sunbathers
Whiteant (verb) : to criticise something to deter somebody from buying it. A car dealer might whiteant another dealer's cars or a real estate salesman might whiteant another agent's property
Wobbly : excitable behaviour ("I complained about the food and the waiter threw a wobbly")
Wobbly boot on, he's got the : drunk
Wog : flu or trivial illness
Wog : person of Mediterranean origin. A milder insult than the same word in the UK and perhaps elsewhere.
Wombat : somebody who eats, roots and leaves (see also root)
Woop Woop : invented name for any small unimportant town - "he lives in Woop Woop"
Wowser : straight-laced person, prude, puritan, spoilsport
Wuss : coward; nervous person or animal
X
XXXX : pronounced Four X, brand of beer made in Queensland
Y
Yabber : talk (a lot)
Yabby : inland freshwater crayfish found in Australia (Cherax destructor)
Yakka : work (noun)
Yewy : u-turn in traffic ("chuck a yewy at the next traffic lights")
Yobbo : an uncouth person
Z
Zack : sixpence (5 cents) - "it isn't worth a zack", "he hasn't got a zack"

[tellomon]

Strine
/str?n/
Learn to pronounce
INFORMAL
noun
the English language as spoken by Australians; the Australian accent, especially when considered striking or uneducated.
"I found myself speaking Strine within minutes of arrival"
adjective
relating to Australians or Australian English.
"he spoke with a broad Strine accent"

https://www.google.com/search?q=strine&source=hp&ei=0V1FYb2FB6-cwbkPgsCl-A0&iflsig=ALs-wAMAAAAAYUVr4RpvdmQ-GpXphYhOhlQ_-Xh39aXS&oq=strine&gs_lcp=Cgdnd3Mtd2l6EAMyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDIHCAAQsQMQCjINCC4QgAQQxwEQrwEQCjIHCAAQsQMQCjIHCAAQgAQQCjIFCC4QgAQyBAgAEAoyBwgAEIAEEAoyCwguEIAEEMcBEK8BOgQIABBDOg4ILhCABBCxAxDHARCjAjoICAAQgAQQsQM6CwgAEIAEELEDEIMBOg0ILhCxAxDHARCjAhBDOggILhCxAxCDAToRCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQowIQkwI6BQgAEJECOgsILhCABBDHARCjAjoECC4QQzoICC4QgAQQsQM6BwguELEDEEM6BQguELEDOggIABCABBDJAzoKCAAQsQMQgwEQQzoOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQ0QM6DgguELEDEIMBEMcBEKMCOg4ILhCxAxCDARDHARCvAToHCAAQsQMQQ1CeFljgJGDmKGgAcAB4AIAB9AGIAfsJkgEFMC4yLjSYAQCgAQE&sclient=gws-wiz&ved=0ahUKEwj9saCWy4fzAhUvTjABHQJgCd8Q4dUDCAo&uact=5

[tellomon]

" I dint see Wankah on the list.

Sup widdat? "