Outstanding TOS Awards: This week's winners are:

[tellomon]

http://myworld.ebay.com/liqcentral/

ABOUT US
We purchase large loads of brand new overstocked merchandise, opened and damaged box items and customer returned goods from the largest retailers in the USA. We make sure you get quality items at great prices, and that they, well, actually work or do what they are supposed to do. However, if you want a warranty that your item will do what it's supposed to do, then see the warranty information. We use mostly stock photos, as we are basically lazy and found that we couldn't take better photos. If we find issues with the item, we will describe those issues in the auction. If we accidentally send you an item that looks like a bunch of hobos stomped on it, then simply get in touch with us so we can execute the correct warehouse worker. Please understand that we are honest people that make honest mistakes. We put lots of ways to contact us so that you can actually, well, you know, CONTACT US. We don't bite and if there's a problem, we actually like to solve it! If you need us to clean your house or wash your car to avoid a negative, we'll do it (well, maybe not, but you know what we mean).

TERMS OF SALE
Your bid is a contract - Place a bid only if you're serious about buying the item. Please, ask questions prior to bidding. If you are the winning bidder, you will enter into a legally binding contract to purchase the item. If the seller is unable to establish contact with the winning bidder within 3 days of the end of the auction or if the payment is not received within 5 days, item may be offered to the next highest bidder (are you still actually reading this?) or re-listed at the seller's sole discretion. If you "accidentally" bid on one of our auctions, or didn't realize that we don't ship to the planet Pluto, you need to contact us immediately so that we can cancel your bid for you within the guidelines set out by eBay. If the auction ends, and you've won, whether by accident or on purpose, you need to complete the transaction. We turn all non-paying bidders, for whatever reason, into eBay to collect the fees we've been charged and to discourage non-payers. Also, we mainly ship to the lower 48 US only. Many of our items just don't make sense to ship anywhere else. If the USPS didn't require us to physically go there for international (read "Canada") shipments, to be tortured by standing in line behind 15 people who appear to have never, ever mailed anything in their lives before, then maybe we could do it. Until the USPS comes up with a line just for those kind of people, we are unable to muster up the mental strength to deal with such a situation, thus, no shipments to Canada at this time.

PAYMENT POLICY
We only accept PayPal for payment. Please pay for your purchases immediately. The faster you pay, the faster we ship. Spin our head with your fast payment, and we'll return the favor, or we'll eat a bug!

SHIPPING POLICY
Most items ship within 3-5 business days, with our current average being 1.36975 days. Unless something really wierd happens, you should receive tracking information via email. Check our feedback, the common thread is that we ship so fast it'll make you THRILLED SILLY, and we're great people to buy from. Please make sure you KNOW what the shipping charges are for this item PRIOR to bidding. Many times we offer free shipping, but if the auction does not have free shipping, make sure you know what the shipping charge will be so that there are no surprises.

CONTACT US
You can reach us via e-mail at liqcentral@gmail.com or call us at 248-468-4601. We do not always answer the phone, and it's not because we try to discourage phone calls (ok, you got us, we really do prefer email), but we can get busy listing all these incredible deals for you. You can IM us with AIM at researchabit or Yahoo at liqcentral. You can even SKYPE us at "liqcentral". There are approximately 713 other ways to contact us, but these should suffice for most cases.

INSURANCE

Buyers purchase insurance coverage in case the item being sent to them is damaged enroute. This happens, not all the time, but that's why there is insurance.

We do offer insurance as an option on most shipments. We use one of the largest third-party insurers which allows immediate settlements of any claims that arise due to the mishandling of your package during shipment. If you do not purchase insurance, it will severely limit our ability to help you if a problem arises if your item shows up looking like it has gone through some third-world country on its way to you.

If you want to protect yourself from this kind of problem, you should purchase insurance.

WARRANTY PROTECTION

We offer warranty protection on many items we sell.  We offer this protection, because we sell a lot of used/refurbished/cutomer returned/open box items.  If you want peace of mind for months to come that your item will be working, then you need to purchase warranty protection for it.

We use a couple different companies for our warranties.  This means you purchase warranty coverage from them, and then if there is anything wrong with your item, you contact them for full reimbursement, or repair of your item.  This applies to used/customer returned/open box items for up to ONE YEAR.  Brand new items can receive up to four years of coverage.

These warranties are HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for any product that has moving parts or is electronic or powered in any way.  If you decide to NOT purchase warranty protection, then there is nothing we can do for you if the item stops working.  If this item is warranty eligible, then a warranty banner will appear in the auction.  Simply click on that and follow instructions.



" 5 Star entertainment! It reminds me of how less talented I am now than what I was in my youth....."

[cueperkins]

And does the item description say:

"slightly soiled dead parrot nailed to a perch  cough...I mean 'restin'...Pics are part of the description..happy bidding"

...with 3 pages of TOS?  How unusual?

[*CountessA*]

It's funny... but it might be better as the first chapter of a self-help book rather than a seller's TOS.

[tellomon]

http://forums.ebay.com/db1/topic/The-Soapbox/Just-Love-The/520128891


flame*o*chist (20157)
Posts: 10,822
   
Just LOVE the Q&A on this auction!
Jun 13, 2009 2:42 PM


If you're easily offended, don't look.
TOO FUNNY! Especially the answers!

260422939029
__________________

18704d (11)
Posts: 3,500
   
Re: Just LOVE the Q&A on this auction!
Jun 13, 2009 3:15 PM

Automotive terms and risque jokes have always gone hand in hand.
____________________

Item number: 260422939029 Questions from other members : Factory GM SBC Deep Groove Crank Pulley  3858533 BJ L-79

 Q: I was thinking about giving a BJ to my grandfather for his birthday but my grandmother blew his motor a couple  days ago. Should I still give him a BJ or would it be a waste of money? Jun-13-09

 A: I would say it would still be a good gift. He could put the BJ on a shelf and tell stories about how good of a BJ you  gave him. If he ever gets tired of it he may let you have his BJ. Jason

Q: Hello, I have had bad experiences buying deep grove BJs online before, never been satisfied with the outcome. What would make this one any different? Jun-13-09

A: If you have had bad BJs more than once, it may time to consider that you may be the problem. A good BJ can  only do so much. If your crank thrust has issues you may not get the benefit from a BJ that you may be looking  for. Have your mechanic or close friend check your thrust for you and get back to me. Jason

Q: This bj looks like it has been around the block, should I purchase confirmation or insurance? I just want to be safe as I dont want a bad bj or loose one at that... Jun-13-09

A: This BJ is experienced and has many years of quality service left in it. I do not think insurance will be  necessary. Confirmation will be added to the package so I know that you get the BJ you despirately need. Rest  assured this BJ is not loose and certainly not bad. It is a fine BJ that will hold your belt through the toughest of  times. Whether you are bored, stroked, or blown, this BJ has your unit covered. Jason

Q: I'm really excited about getting this BJ for my ride, but I'm worried it might make it cam all over the place...? Is timing important or does a good belt make everything work out fine? Jun-13-09

A: Quite to the contrary. This BJ will help your engine. By keeping things cool, this pulley will help you engine from  buliding up pressure and possibly blowing a gasket. A good BJ does not only impress others, it keeps your  engine from getting hot under the collar. Jason