Interesting 'Terms of Sale' found in eBay listings

[*wheels*]

I have often come across some interesting/odd/demanding Terms of Sale info on eBay listings. I NEVER buy from the ones that have long, demanding Terms. But I do like the ones that have 'interesting' info. 

[*wheels*]

Terms of Sale
PLEASE MAKE CONTACT WITHIN 3 DAYS OF END OF AUCTION. ALL SALES ARE FINAL, SO PLEASE ASK ANY QUESTIONS PRIOR TO BIDDING. IF THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR PURCHASE, LET ME KNOW AND WE CAN SORT IT OUT.

About Me
I AM A STAY AT HOME MUM WHO IS A COMPULSIVE IMPULSE BUYER AND HOARDER. I NEVER SELL ANYTHING I WOULD NOT BE HAPPY PURCHASING MYSELF. MY CREDIT CARD IS MAXED TO THE LIMIT, AND I'M RUNNING OUT OF ROOM AT HOME SO BE SURE TO CHECK OUT MY OTHER AUCTIONS FOR MORE GREAT STUFF, AND HELP ME MAKE ROOM AND FUNDS FOR MY NEXT LOT OF "IT-WAS-SUCH-A-BARGAIN-I-JUST-HAD-TO-BUY-IT-EVEN-THOUGH-I-HAVE-NO-USE-FOR-IT" PURCHASES!!! PLEASE NOTE I DO NOT SMOKE, BUT HAVE A CAT AND DOG WHO DO (JUST KIDDING)! THEY ARE VERY WELL BEHAVED AND NEVER WEAR MY CLOTHES OR PLAY WITH THE STUFF I SELL. HAVING SAID THIS, HOWEVER, THERE MAY JUST BE A STRAY CANINE OR FELINE HAIR HIDING IN YOUR PACKAGE, MAYBE EVEN A PEOPLE ONE, SO IF THIS IS A PROBLEM, PLEASE TAKE THIS INTO ACCOUNT BEFORE BIDDING.

Contact Us
DROP ME A LINE ANY TIME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR PROBLEMS. I DON'T BITE ALTHOUGH THE DOG HAS BEEN KNOWN TO ATTEMPT TO TAKE A CHUNK OUT OF UNWARY PASSERSBY!

[*CountessA*]

TERMS OF SALE

Payment

• We only accept Paypal payment.
• Please do not bid for our item if you cannot pay with PAYPAL.
• You are required to make payment in full within 3 days of auction close.

Shipping

• We ship via Australia Post and it usually takes 1 - 6 business days for delivery, most items posted same day payment is received, however, can take 1 - 2 working days to arrange the item after payment received.
• No responsibility taken for item once it is handed to Australia Post.
• Insurance, tracking and express postage can be organised at buyers request and additional expense.
• P&H is just that - it includes - packaging, handling, time and petrol. If you don't like my P&H fees DON'T BID.
• Happy to combine postage.  Have a look at the many other items we have listed.

Contact us

• Please choose carefully as we don't take reutrns - no exceptions - as we are not a shop.
• Please contact us via E-Bay and ask as many questions as you like BEFORE BIDDING.
• We always try our very best to describe items honestly - describing any marks or damage - any omissions are unintentional.
• Customer satisfactory is important to us as we want you to come back again. Please contact us for a solution if you have any problem or question regarding your transaction via email before leaving any type of negative or neutral feedback. We are always willing to work things out !
• Please remember to leave feedback, we will leave feedback once a payment has been received and feedback has been left for us.

The seller states "only PayPal" but clearly has no idea about the risk he/she is running with these unenforceable Terms of Sale. Not only that, but clearly this seller rates her time (re "handling" quite highly; a child's PVC toy train that couldn't weigh more than 500g is listed with P&H of $13.65 (registered post).