Good thread Brumby,
Those buyers are examples of people actually communicating with the seller and there are still many like that fortunately, sadly though there are quite a few who think that online buying is not a commitment and this is not just on ebay but also on other online sites. Knowing that ebay would be sending "Payment Reminders" on behalf of me despite me never asking or wanting ebay to do this I emailed a couple of buyers this past week or two and said words to the effect "you may have received a payment reminder from ebay regarding your purchase, however i just want you to know these are not generated by me the seller and i did not request ebay to do this on my behalf, i/we are very understanding regards payment and always work with the buyer to ensure a mutually satisfying outcome".
To those emails i received no reply, now there is also the fact that ebay have extremely strong screening of emails and last year in particular i estimate only around 40% of my emails to buyers actually reached them, i know this because i managed post delivery to reach the buyers and checked and they never received my emails in many cases just advising them their items had been posted and giving them tracking numbers where applicable.
If ebay want to say they are just a venue they need to stick to it, they are not my debt collector, nor any sellers and what is it to them when people pay as long as the seller is happy, if they are not they will file a non paying report and open a case.
In the last month I have had one non paying bidder on ebay, still being resolved, on quite a high ticket price item and two other bad selling experiences on another site, all buyers were from the us but this may be coincidental. The total the buyers did not pay was around $200 US which is a lot to me in terms of lost sales which I thought were sold, not huge but goes a long way towards paying fees.
In one case I wonder if ebays "Quick off the mark" reminders were the culprit because that buyer was low feedback and may have been the catlyst to them saying "stuff you seller, don't chase me i only just bought this" despite the rhetoric ebay just dont seem to ever be able to see things from a selling point of view and the effect their actions have, also i have wondered a lot about whether this whole payment reminder thing (which i have said before on ozrt) is a thinly veiled attempt to drive buyers to RUSH to pay by Paypal thinking they need to pay something urgently they will use the fastest method to pay it rather than ask a seller for their bank details (which often dont show despite the fact they should show).
In summary, I believe buyers understanding due to the confusion, is being lessened and it is becoming less likely buyers see through the smoke and mirrors ebay create.