Author Topic: go on - have a laugh !!!!!!!!!!!!! (Read 15024 times)

wyzeguy60 · « **on:** November 02, 2009, 09:43:15 AM »

160372510478

PS - if this is in the wrong area please move it for me - I could not find another suitable place

*barny* · « **Reply #1 on:** November 02, 2009, 10:00:37 AM »

Absolutely a ripper...

How did you discover this gem ??

wyzeguy60 · « **Reply #2 on:** November 02, 2009, 10:07:37 AM »

I was checking the pulse this morning and noticed the title. Have a look at his other listing for ( the cow on a trike ) and some of his completed listings. Definitely missed his calling.

PS - allow some time for a read

*r3830* · « **Reply #3 on:** November 02, 2009, 10:08:46 AM »

Priceless post! Many thanks for the laughs.

*FluffyDuckee* · « **Reply #4 on:** November 02, 2009, 10:14:29 AM »

*Very good*

*CountessA* · « **Reply #5 on:** November 02, 2009, 11:34:48 AM »

I found myself laughing several times while reading this well-considered description. I couldn't resist the other items he has for sale, and saw the same wacky, creative, deadpan, self-mocking, ironic, stick-poking humour in those descriptions as well.

You see, this is the sort of seller I consider a part of the Australian spirit. This is the sort of seller who used to make eBay fun. Intelligent, hilarious, clearly an honest bloke (unless you really do believe he was being serious about the tree and the television)...

Thanks for that, wyzeguy.

Centuries · « **Reply #6 on:** November 02, 2009, 02:03:02 PM »

Hilarious!

I remember reading listings by a US seller many moons ago which had a similar approach.

I feel the need to watch to see what happens

*r3830* · « **Reply #7 on:** November 02, 2009, 03:17:31 PM »

Now THAT'S the sort of person this fella is! I couldn't resist aking a question.... absolutely refreshing!

Q: Mate - bugga the bike..... what's your BIN for the description! Priceless. Thankyou. 02-Nov-09

A: You can take the description for free and use it to sell something of yours, just remove the reference to the bike and replace it with whatever you need to sell. It's kind of universal when you think about it. Thanks mate.

Liisa-Sx · « **Reply #8 on:** November 02, 2009, 03:53:04 PM »

LMAO the Bike description is Hilarious and so are the other item descriptions, what a Gem, I couldn't resist asking a question either, however I will leave you guessing as to which one is mine lol

mandurahmum · « **Reply #9 on:** November 02, 2009, 04:23:43 PM »

Thats a classic

cueperkins · « **Reply #10 on:** November 02, 2009, 04:36:03 PM »

I laughed so much I was in tears....priceless..

Centuries · « **Reply #11 on:** November 02, 2009, 04:57:04 PM »

Nine bids on the Waste of money kid's minibike

One bid on the Playstation

Good on him

tellomon · « **Reply #12 on:** November 02, 2009, 05:45:24 PM »

"Trike of Death" is a KEEPER!

This isn't it.

Centuries · « **Reply #13 on:** November 02, 2009, 05:48:23 PM »

wyzeguy60 · « **Reply #14 on:** November 02, 2009, 06:03:32 PM »

one for Tello

now that is the trike of death

wyzeguy60 · « **Reply #15 on:** November 02, 2009, 06:05:28 PM »

now where did that lady go

tellomon · « **Reply #16 on:** November 02, 2009, 06:21:34 PM »

My other car is a....

ROCKET SHIP!

Centuries · « **Reply #17 on:** November 02, 2009, 08:52:45 PM »

Comfort is essential

tellomon · « **Reply #18 on:** November 02, 2009, 09:04:36 PM »

It's not about the journey.
It's about the RIDE.

*Brum6y* · « **Reply #19 on:** November 02, 2009, 11:07:45 PM »

Brilliant read!!!

That's what I call a real Aussie!

Tello - if you have a read of this item - including the questions and answers - you'll get a good feel for how the Aussie spirit rises to the occasion. The dry wit, quick one-liners and taking the micky out of oneself.

This guy is a classic. Gotta love hiim!

tellomon · « **Reply #20 on:** November 02, 2009, 11:13:18 PM »

I've seen similar talent exhibited on the U.S. site.
Comedic Genius izzint exclusively Aussie.
But I know you'd like to think so....

*FluffyDuckee* · « **Reply #21 on:** November 02, 2009, 11:18:18 PM »

Aussies ==>

:rifle: <== Americans

tellomon · « **Reply #22 on:** November 02, 2009, 11:21:42 PM »

See?

Elitist snobs are everywhere.

*CountessA* · « **Reply #23 on:** November 02, 2009, 11:40:13 PM »

An American and an Australian walk into a bar.

The Aussie says nonchalantly, "I'll have a coldie - yeah, a couple of stubbies." He takes the beer, hands over the money, opens the first beer, draws a long draught from it, swallows, exhales with satisfaction, and wipes a hand over his mouth. "Bonza," he says.

The American thinks he can outdo the Aussie. It's 40 degrees outside, and he's longing for a cold drink, but his country's honour and reputation for toughness are at stake. He leans over the counter and says loudly, "I'll have a couple of hotties."

The barkeeper stares at him. The girl in the corner stares at him. Two pimple-faced youngsters stare at him. Everyone stares at him. The American feels sure they're in awe of his strength and grit, so he repeats his words. "C'mon, two hotties - NOW. My momma didn't birth no sissies."

The barkeeper turns away, his mouth not twitching at all. A few moments later, he returns, with two items tucked under his arms. He hands them over to the American...

... two hot water bottles.

* NOTE: In Australian slang, a "hotty" is a hot water bottle, or possibly a passionate kiss or a very sexy individual. Context is everything, of course - and pubs generally do not sell French kisses, etc.

*FluffyDuckee* · « **Reply #24 on:** November 02, 2009, 11:51:52 PM »

French kisses

Hot water bottles

*Brum6y* · « **Reply #25 on:** November 03, 2009, 03:18:59 AM »

You got me wrong, Tello... I wasn't being elitist in the slightest.

I didn't intend to make any claims on the degree of humour - how big a belly laugh you got from it - but from the flavour. Not for the purpose of any claim of cleverness (however we may have felt) but to illustrate the type of humour that tickles our funny-bone.

I only made the point since there are often cultural differences between people who speak the same words - but communicate in a different language.

cueperkins · « **Reply #26 on:** November 03, 2009, 07:58:48 AM »

Don't worry about it Brumby...this is an Aussie Site, we are Aussies, and our sense of humour and mateship arises from our history of struggle and injustice from 1788 onwards. Many don't realise that there were 200 crimes in Australia at that time, punishable by death...men, women, children...didn't matter. Social oppression sucks, but as Ned Kelly apparently said, (just before they hanged him)..... Such is Life !!!

Australian humour has a long history that can be traced back to our origins as convict colonies. It is therefore no surprise that a national sense of humour quickly developed that responded to those conditions. This unique sense of humour is recognised (although maybe not always understood) the world over as being distinctly Australian. Our humour is dry, full of extremes, anti-authoritarian, self-mocking and ironic.

The country itself is the ultimate joke; the wave you body-surf into shore after a day at the beach could contain a shark or a rip-tide and, when you get back, your house could have been burnt to the ground in a bush fire. That's where the whole 'no worries' thing comes from. Mark Little

Styles of humour

A black sense of humour

Australians can have a very black sense of humour. While in many cultures it is considered poor taste to find humour in difficult circumstances, Australians tend to look for this lighter side. This is perhaps our strongest reference to our brutal past, where humour was a means of coping with a bad situation. A (perhaps unintentional) example of this is the naming of the Harold Holt Memorial Swimming Pool in Melbourne after a Prime Minister who disappeared whilst swimming in the ocean in 1967.

Mocking the wowser

Mocking the wowser is another common element in Australian humour. Wowser is a term that refers to a person who is highly moral or politically correct. In 2002, a lawyer called O'Sullivan expertly demonstrated this aspect of Australian humour in the courtroom. Defending his client, who was charged with baring his buttocks, or 'mooning', at a policeman, O'Sullivan argued that 'mooning was accepted Australian behaviour and should be seen as a national icon'. The prosecutor, Michael Purcell, responded in wowser fashion by asking 'whether bare buttocks should replace the emu and kangaroo on Australia's coat of arms.'

Anti-authoritarian humour

Australians also have a very strong anti-authoritarian sense of humour, again a reflection of our past. This aspect has been in evidence since colonial times where the ability to make a policeman or other authority figure laugh often meant the difference between the gallows or harsh labour and freedom. A convict of West Indian origin named Billy Blue (who arrived in Sydney after stealing a small amount of sugar) was notorious among officials for his creative and humourous explanations of his law-breaking - a talent that kept him from being locked up on many occasions. One example of his antics was his explanation, upon being caught smuggling alcohol, that he just kept finding liquor floating in Sydney Harbour and had been caught before he could report this to the authorities. The authorities 'believed' this explanation and Billy was free to continue his adventures. Billy Blue later went on to become friends with Governor Macquarie.

Self Mocking

Australians also have a strong tradition of targeting themselves as objects of humour. A regular on the stand-up circuit is comedian Steady Eddy, who has cerebral palsy and uses his disability as material for his routines. One of his gags talks about how hard it is for him to find love – whenever he sees a beautiful woman, he finds himself wishing ' …if only she had a limp'. Australians from ethnic backgrounds also use this type of humour very effectively. Television and stage shows such as Acropolis Now and Woggs Out of Work have honed this form of humour to an art, with performers mocking their ethnic backgrounds and traditions.

:corkhat:

*Brum6y* · « **Reply #27 on:** November 03, 2009, 12:22:46 PM »

Quote

The country itself is the ultimate joke;

Hard to swallow that one...

I like to think the true desires about our 'sun burnt country' were revealed and immortalised in the Superman II movie, where Lex Luthor offered to deliver Superman to the super-villians...

When asked what he wanted out of the deal - his response was, very simply... "just a little beachfront property: Australia".

*barny* · « **Reply #28 on:** November 03, 2009, 01:04:04 PM »

The Creation

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy
matches going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning,
sleeping and barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day.

On the Second Day God created water - for surfing, swimming and barbies on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide tobacco, malt and yeast for beer and wood for barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day.

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.

On the Fifth Day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at barbies. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.

On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the Barbie with, so God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.

On the Seventh Day God saw that the blokes were tired and needed a rest. So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children, wash, cook and clean the barbie. Evening came and it was the end of the Seventh day.

God sighed, looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes and Sheilas, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns, and God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was bloody good.

IT WAS AUSTRALIA !

tellomon · « **Reply #29 on:** November 03, 2009, 04:20:39 PM »

Aussie Bent duly noted....

Liisa-Sx · « **Reply #30 on:** November 03, 2009, 04:51:05 PM »

Hey at least I made hollywood laugh lol, love his Auctions, brilliant.

Q: Hey Hollywood, You know.. seeing the bike majestically poised on the pole gave me an idea, we were looking for something a little different to perch on top of the Christmas Tree this year and seeing as though Angels are just sooooo yesterday, I was looking for something a little more "Today". Do you think it would be suitable as a tree ornament given that it is made of Silver Bamboo and guano, we could all sit around and bet on what will erupt in flames first, the Bike or the Tree lights!! Either way it would be win win, roasted chestnuts anyone? 02-Nov-09
A: Sometimes I hope nobody can see me laughing at an LCD screen, it must look strange, especially when I have a rubber glove on my head. You are right, Angels are even the day before. Putting this bike on top of your tree would be February 31. Don't tell the insurers.

cueperkins · « **Reply #31 on:** November 03, 2009, 06:30:33 PM »

Good onya Liisa..he's obviously a larrakin of many generations this boy....a story teller even....a poet.....I laughed till I cried...I miss that kind of humour,.....PC is killing us all.....and the Aussie sense of humour...we're just not PC enough...hehehehe.....in fact...we're being PC'd to death...wonder who started that bullshit for instance...and only as a form of censorship after all....land of the free?...lmao...yeah whatever.

And as for Aussie humour, it's ours...too right luv...!!! And we take pride in owning it...fair dinkum....we do !! What's left of it anyway...

Meet the Minister for the Yarts for instance!!!! who wouldn't luv Sir Les?....

*r3830* · « **Reply #32 on:** November 03, 2009, 06:38:27 PM »

*r3830* · « **Reply #33 on:** November 03, 2009, 06:40:36 PM »

cueperkins · « **Reply #34 on:** November 03, 2009, 06:41:38 PM »

Ah Loco...my favourite.....!!!! Love Gray gray.....

cueperkins · « **Reply #35 on:** November 03, 2009, 06:42:08 PM »

Have a Pull Pete !!!

*r3830* · « **Reply #36 on:** November 03, 2009, 06:44:28 PM »

Just for you Cupie...... I loved him too!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YsNGv9aPcw

cueperkins · « **Reply #37 on:** November 03, 2009, 06:59:10 PM »

I'll have to try watching it tomorrow loco...I'm gonna try to attach speakers tomorrow and maybe then I'll have ears...It's been a stinker here today 100 degrees...melting on the top floor, so I evacuated to the ground floor (tiled and much cooler) for the day and washed everything in sight...drys so quick on days like this...

But bloody hell...wearing a long sleeve skivvy one day and sweating your arse off the next?....this weather is all over the bloody place...

cueperkins · « **Reply #38 on:** November 03, 2009, 07:01:51 PM »

Hi Barny...I've seen variations of that spiel...but it sums it up pretty well I'd reckon...lol

cueperkins · « **Reply #39 on:** November 03, 2009, 07:04:20 PM »

Quote from: Brumby on November 03, 2009, 12:22:46 PM

Quote
The country itself is the ultimate joke;

Hard to swallow that one...

Brumby.....he's a surfer...everything is 'SURREAL' man !!!! - Wax Head...!!!

*r3830* · « **Reply #40 on:** November 03, 2009, 08:39:32 PM »

It's been a stinker here today 100 degrees..

Same here Cupie.... 41 on the new scale. Still 34 now - close to 90+ F? Waiting for a storm...... I hope!

*smee* · « **Reply #41 on:** November 03, 2009, 08:43:41 PM »

harden up priincess !!!

*wheels* · « **Reply #42 on:** November 03, 2009, 09:14:46 PM »

Love the listings

I've seen his listings before. He even has a facebook page for them:
http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=164843446014#/pages/Yamaha-Trike-of-Death-E-shrine/164843446014

Q & A for his previous listing for the mini-bike:
http://contact.ebay.com.au/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ShowAllQuestions&ShowASQAlways=1&frm=284&iid=160368899814&ssPageName=PageAskSellerQuestion_VI&redirect=0&requested=hollywoodbigshot

*Brum6y* · « **Reply #43 on:** November 03, 2009, 10:28:57 PM »

Quote from: *Cupie* on November 03, 2009, 07:04:20 PM

Quote from: Brumby on November 03, 2009, 12:22:46 PM
Quote
The country itself is the ultimate joke;

Hard to swallow that one...

Brumby.....he's a surfer...everything is 'SURREAL' man !!!! - Wax Head...!!!

OK - That explains a few things...

News:

Author Topic: go on - have a laugh !!!!!!!!!!!!! (Read 15024 times)

wyzeguy60

wyzeguy60

cueperkins

wyzeguy60

wyzeguy60

cueperkins

cueperkins

cueperkins

cueperkins

cueperkins

cueperkins

cueperkins