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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side

« Last post by tellomon on Today at 12:22:05 PM »

HOW THE NARCISSIST UNDERMINES PEOPLE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl95UMdjyac

@Dee-mj3pu
3 hours ago
They are not on your side. You are not a team.
The narc is only out for himself! Period!

The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side

« Last post by tellomon on Today at 12:07:06 PM »

Directly… indirectly… never have anything to do with the narc ever again
Why You Seek the Narcissist´s Downfall?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEKlbibSH2o

Being single is freedom!

Why It's BETTER to Be SINGLE |
STOIC INSIGHTS on The BENEFITS of SINGLE LIFE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti70c8jp7NM

There are those that mock at making amends for wrongdoings to others , there is no goodwill in them , their only focus is selfish gain !

This Is How Narcissists React When You Stop Giving Them Attention!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDk_9CsaQuc

Narcissist: I need your obedience, but I get to make the rules as I go along.
Healthy person: Hell will freeze over before I give you any blind obedience.
Your Disobedience Toward A Narcissist's Control

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lwtDXYbrdg

The narc has to be right about everything because of course they think they know everything.
The Narcissist Will Try to Break You & Your Boundaries

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nC6v6gfnvk

The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side

« Last post by tellomon on Today at 10:49:25 AM »

IMAGINE WAKING UP LIKE A NARC & THINKING ABOUT "WHO I CAN MANIPULATE TODAY"?

The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side

« Last post by tellomon on Today at 10:38:55 AM »

What losses do narcissists fear the most?

You getting the last laugh...

When they do the "I'm going to threaten to break up with you to maintain control" game or the "If you don't meet my ultimatum you better find somewhere else to go" game. And instead of pleading with them, you just say "Alright, if that's what you want then I'm outta here." That's the biggest win you can have.

And after you end up with someone who is actually nice; who isn't abusive. Or you escape the situation and you are living somewhere you can be happy on your own terms and not have to jump through hoops.

DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF RESUMING CONTACT. They will put on a mask of "I'm sorry I was so mean, I'll be nice now" but they are just trying to hoover you back in.

They'll get you back and they'll make you think things can be better, but they aren't self aware enough to stop being a Narcissist. If you go back and try to be everything they want it still won't be enough.

Leave on a high. Let "Alright, have it your way" be the last thing they get from you and let them stew over that. Don't get conned into going back to a person who will just keep abusing you and chipping away at your self worth and self confidence. You deserve someone better. Someone who fits in on your emotional spectrum, not someone who can't even feel feelings unless they are hurting someone else to feed off their pain.

A narcissist isn't worth second chances. A narcissist isn't worth you trying to fit their opinions to avoid their judgment. A narcissist isn't worth you sacrificing your own physical and emotional health. Your happiness is worth something despite whatever brainwashing they did to make you think it isn't.

Don't hate yourself because you aren't what they want. Don't hate yourself because they moved on to someone else. They were going to do that eventually anyway. They stopped getting what they wanted out of you: Your tasty emotions. Your pain. Your confusion. Your self blame. Your obedience. Leave them and learn to live beyond the roller coaster. It might seem like "home" but it isn't. Find home within yourself.

You don't need them and their toxicity. Build an emotional wall and no matter how desperately they beg, don't lower your wall to let them back in. They're just going to trash you up inside once you open up to them again.

Your power is your denial. Deny them what they want. No amount of crying, puppy eyes, curled upper lip or whatever else they throw at you to break you down and trick you should be enough to get you to go back to a narcissist.
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What are the typical fears of a narcissists?

It is truly hard to believe but narcs are just scared.

They are utterly terrified of being alone. This is by far their greatest fear. Being alone is the hardest punishment they could ever face. They have grown up alone through their own abuse and emotional abandonment and that is a space they refuse to go back to.

When they are alone it is way too quiet for them. There is no stimulation. They actually have to face themselves in their own silence. When they are alone there is no one to abuse, there is no sex, no one cooking and cleaning for them and no one to extract money from. No one to keep them financially in the manner they are accustomed to. Alone is boring. Alone, dreading that they are acquiring nothing.

They fear becoming unmasked. Nobody can ever know who they really are. No one can ever be privy to the blackness of their core. They work so hard to maintain their spotless image. If you unmask them, they will do everything in their power to discredit you. They have been storing every single bit of information that they have nefariously acquired about you, to use against you if you ever turn “states evidence” against them.

They fear criticism. They are so paranoid that any rational conversation you have with them can be perceived as a critical attack. You never know when this perceived criticism will ignite their demons. They especially fear criticism from peers and colleagues whom they hold in high regard.

They fear not having money. They will protect their money and financial security like nothing else. They will find a way to take your money while protecting theirs. Rarely will they take out their own wallets to pay for anything. They will cheat and steal. They will stoop as low as to manipulate the elderly and vulnerable to gain access to money. Watch a few episodes of American Greed to see the lengths they will go to. Or better yet, look at your own bank account to see the lengths they will go to. So many survivors have gone through financial ruin at the hands of these predators.

They act like such tough guys. They act like the big “man/woman about town”, but in actuality, they are weak, lazy and sad. The only thing going for them is that they are selfish manipulators. They are completely empty vessels.

They fear that you will be very happy without them. Take some comfort in the fact that they were attracted to you because they so desperately wanted to be you. You are innately good, kind and intelligent. Others love you genuinely and are drawn to your beautiful light. You are harmony and peace. That irritates the crap out of their demons. Know that after you leave and go zero contact, your light will continue to shine even brighter than before. You have moved on and are now living your best life full of so much happiness and peace! The precious life that you deserve!

https://www.quora.com/What-losses-do-narcissists-fear-the-most?topAns=340505569

The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side

« Last post by tellomon on Today at 10:13:09 AM »

Why does a narcissist get
away with the evil?

A narcissist gets away with "evil" for so many reasons.

First of all, there are millions of people who do not have the foggiest idea what narcissism is all about. Every one of these individuals is a possible target for a narcissist. Young people think narcissism is "cute" and they call each other "narcissists". Most people just don't take narcissism seriously.

There are also lots of people who don't have NPD but are highly narcissistic. It's so difficult to know who has NPD and who does not. People with some narcissistic tendencies can be difficult to work with or live with but they aren't going to emotionally abuse someone just to satisfy their primal instincts.

Then we have to consider the preponderance of narcissists who are covert and are masters at blending-in. These are people who will minimize narcissism and hide the truth from us. Narcissists at all levels in corporations large and small, narcissists at all levels of government who will make darn sure no legislation passes that addresses problems arising from narcissism. Narcissists next door, narcissists in the military, narcissists around the world in every country. Covert narcissists are hiding everywhere and sometimes - even their own family isn't sure what they are.

Another reason narcissists get away with evil is because they don't often violate any laws - the damage they do is purely emotional and every victim is free to choose whether they will put up with the abuse of leave.

You can't call the police and say "please help, my partner just gaslit me".

The police would either ask "what's that?" or they would ask if there has been any physical violence or threat of physical harm.

Probably the most significant reason narcissists get away with evil is because their victims allow it. They know they should not put up with the abuse but they are always hopeful "their" narcissist will change and things will be idealistic again as it was in the beginning. Victims may remain with a narcissist for many years although the average length of marriage is seven years. Most partners only stay with a narcissist for less than three years. If everyone in America were well educated about narcissism it might turn the tide, but for now, there will always be a fresh victim who will put up with the kind of emotional abuse only a pwNPD know how to administer.

----------------------------------------------------

In my experience, narcissists are continuously thinking! Planning! and covering all the bases they need to, to ensure their security. Every single move is strategic, much like a game of chess. They think 10 moves ahead and are prepared to sacrifice a few pawns along the way. They seem to have thought of everything. The lies they portray to others are always believed. Their status never blemished. They seem to work in packs like wolves stalking prey, with the flying monkeys flanking every move. The only real way to deal with them is to escape. Although they get away with murder, if you have the strength and determination to get away safely you’ll be a winner.

I’ve found that with each Evil act and deceptive, controlling behaviour I’ve experienced encourages my ability to share and hopefully help anyone who’s struggling with a narcissist.

Look after yourselves.

https://thenarcissistandyou.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-get-away-with-the-evil?topAns=1477743708795374