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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 01:14:28 PM »
Will a covert narcissist call
the police on you?


Ron Culley
Any Brand-Name Narc will do it. Why should it just be the Covert Narc? They are all Batshit Crazy and have no regard for reality and everybody in it. Calling the cops is their final hand at one-ups-manship in the Battle of The Wits behind enemy lines. They will do ANYTHING to get their (sick, twisted) way, including performing “favors” on them.

Abusing the Law is their BIG GUN from their bag of tricks.

When the Heat is on, I either get a Lawyer or BE a Lawyer. It’s always 50/50. Gamble with your life wisely.
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Yes.

It's free to do so and unfortunately no consequences when using such a freedom to do so.

Their goal at the time? Maybe you'll learn your lesson in complying with whatever far out rules they demand of you.

"Stay away" until…..I call you, summon you, want to see you, approach you.

"Stay away", you're messing up my new life, potential for my new relationship….my narrative.

An argument they not only can't reasonably win may end up in a call to the police with a story of assault, something that ends up in a "win".

Ali it takes is a scratch, folks, and your world will be upside down. That "scratch" could be self administered.

They won't return your stuff, a back and forth to get it or texts, emails they initiate in keeping you available but thrown away at the same time.

Come over one day, a few days later, "I never want to see you again" in cycles until you may find yourself fighting a restraining order, order of protection.

Any of these scenarios are possible and most will be very costly to you in more ways than one.

Still confused about the "connection" you share? You may have been through a destructive wringer, most don't know how bad it can get in a snap.

I never had the police called personally but the threat would make me run.

I would show up at her job as she is leaving, unannounced (I was wrong). Sometimes met with hugs and kisses, my intentions to sit have a drink or eat together, sometimes welcomed and wanting to sit.

One day and what I did wasn't frequent by any means, I was met with great anger and threats to call the police….I didn't return or reach out.

Two days later, a request for my presence at her home, she wants to make me dinner and "hang". I went wanting to forget what threats she made and anything could have happened. There were times I was requested to show up only to be threatened when I did.

Is a narcissist limited to the type of, amount of punishment you aren't even considering?

Anything goes, nothing ruffling their feathers in doing so.
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Flock yeah they will! And rightly so. Have you seen the way you “react” to their abuse? I mean, it’s some academy award winning sh!t, not your anger and reaction, but their manipulation.

You will do everything in your power to hold back from beating the flock out of them. They will push you to that extreme. You will begin to think jail is worth one flocking throat punch.

A punch you’d throw with instant regret, then crave, and beg as you apologize as they smirk and grasp control. Not of the situation, but of you.

Remember that academy award winning performance I spoke of? Here it comes when the cops show up, that’s if you are stupid enough to stick around. And if you are dealing with a female covert, I’m sorry, just go ahead and put the handcuffs on yourself.

They’d suck the cops dick if they had to to get you arrested. Exactly what Ron Culley said.

Try and maintain calmness when the law shows up, because that’s your only hope. But you and I both know that’s impossible. You are in such a rage the law doesn’t scare you, what’s festering inside of you needs to be released.

On your way to jail, you will being pondering your “reaction” in back of the patrol car. You will begin to feel guilt, and almost believe you over reacted.

Then you start to miss them.

You get to the jail, and with your one call, you use it to apologize to the one person who has cheated, lied, betrayed, and pushed you to the brink of insanity.

You’re defeated. You are sorry, and don’t know why.

They ignore your call, and there you sit.

Waiting to post bail to repeat a cycle not many escape.

Next time you might snap and hit them.

Think about that.

Are they worth it?
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Hell yes. It’ll be their justification. Don’t do it. Walk way. They are a waste of space.
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Y E S.

A covert narc will spend their time building a smear campaign against you. Calling the police for safety checks, claiming you assaulted them, that you are scaring them, that you are a monster, that you’ve always been a monster, etc.

Grandparents will sue for a right to visit their grandchildren, etc.

See Karen ? Narcissists. They call the police.


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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 12:17:12 PM »
Do narcissists criticize
their partners constantly?


Ron Culley
You bet! And I have the nightmares and battle scars to prove it.
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Absolutely yes. Narcissists criticize their partners to make them feel worthless and valueless. Narcissists want to show they are better than you in every field. The main motive of narcissists is to gain control, authority, and power over their spouses.

Once partners of narcissists start doubting themselves, it becomes easier for narcissists to control them. Another reason for criticism is to regulate their self-esteem. Getting narcissistic supplies from you in the form of reactions and responses makes narcissists feel powerful in relationships.

Narcissists will erode your self-esteem and destroy your confidence. Constant criticism from narcissists will make you dependent on their validation.

Narcissists want to show you that you are responsible and accountable for whatever is wrong in a relationship.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 12:04:36 PM »
What are some examples of horrible things done by narcissists?

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 11:48:12 AM »
What do you say when a narcissist asks if you’re okay?

:tello: Or, in the alternative "How are you doing?" Keep reading....


Ron Culley
Of all the noise I heard spewed from her pie hole, that was not one of them.

There was this one time (all the time), she shouldda asked me “How are you doing?”
But no, I get “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Transpose the demeanor.
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Don't respond and don't react. No response is the best response. Narcissists don't care about your feelings, narcissists are bothered about how much you have been affected by their behavior.

For narcissists everything is about your reaction and the way you respond. The more you are sad and angry, the more narcissist feels better. The more you react, the more narcissist proves you crazy in front of everyone. Narcissist feels great when you are affected by them. It makes them feel good, powerful and in authority.
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You say “All is well" and do not expand. What they are trying to do is what I call.. Fish.

They know when they upset you and if you tell them you're upset…Bingo! They love it even more. They will then turn it around and gaslight you. …Ex: Why are you upset when you're the one who did…? … They are the one who you hurt, after everything they've done for you… You're so sensitive, making a big deal out of nothing…

Don't ever give them fuel to make a fire. Grey rock them.
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Say very little

Allow your behavior to speak for itself.

My response would be short and simple.

Fine thank you. And continue on my way.

I would avoid eye contact and pretend to answer a text or phone call, Laugh heartily! And continue on my way!



________________________________
________________________________

Why does a narcissist ask “how are you doing”?

They dont give a damn how your doing. Its probably just so you ask them how they are. That way they can start a Conversation about themselves. That's all that matters to them.
_______________________________________

Just to see if they can get you to engage with them. They never listen to me completely……they NEVER CARE HOW YOU ARE DOING.

EVER.
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How are you doing? Are you doing ok?

Please tell me if there is anything bothering you.

I would love to hear about your worries and problems, so I can plan the best way of weaponising this information against you.

If I know what bothers you and makes you feel down, then I can use that information as a tool to control your mood and emotions, and therefore control you.

And the best part is, by asking how you are doing, I am coming across as a caring and considerate person. Who has your best interests in mind.

I come across as a nice and caring person, while gathering ammunition to take you down, it really suits me. How lovely. I can't lose.

That's where the narcissist is coming from, when they ask how you are doing.

They just wont say it. It's up to you to be smart before sharing information about yourself.


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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 11:09:56 AM »
Why do narcissists constantly lose friendships?

:banana: :rofl: :lmao: :lol: :roflmao: :crayfish:

Many reasons, which all boil down to one essential characteristic: a narcissist is only focused on his/her gratification. If they think they can get it from you, they’ll pursue you as a friend or romantic partner or colleague. Once they’ve established a bond (ie, ensnared you in their web), they proceed to drain you, and when you’re empty, or when you’ve figured them out and confronted them, or when you tell them “no”…then you’re no longer useful, and you get thrown on the trash heap.

Overnight, you become no one to them, and they move on to the next target, who they’ve been grooming behind your back for ages. They always knew it was just temporary; just until they were outed as the horrifying parasites they are, or until they’d taken everything from you. Including your soul.
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A narcissist always has to have some kind of supply once they can’t get it they detach themselves rather quickly from their friends. That is one of the reasons they lose their friends. Another way is that grandiose image they have to be the center of attention.

Treating their friends like property rather then being a true friend.

In plain English they screw their friends and manipulate them as well.
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Narcissists push their need for supply to the extreme, while also undercutting their supply. Then they blame the target for removing supply from them.

Basically they lash out at their friends and act surprised and indignant when those friends decide to stop talking to them.

Take a teenager for instance. They want independence, but they also want you to be there for them. If you don’t help them, they are insecure and lash out, and if you DO help, they yell at you to leave them be because they yearn for independence. You can get away with it while you are a child, not when you are a young adult. Young adults who grow up move on and become functional adults, while narcissists stay behind and complain that they were victimized by people who achieved maturity.

A narcissist is like a teenager, and some people never grow out of it because of how deeply insecure they are.

For instance, a covert narcissist has lost my friendship, my sympathy, my help and my supply recently.

I’m in Law school and I’m helping the younger students. Not in a tutoring capacity, but like helping classmates with classes I already aced in which they are struggling. I do it out of the goodness of my heart, and because it’s nice to have friends. I don’t expect thanks, and I get something out of it: I’m ADHD and it’s a kind of body-doubling for me to help someone (i.e., I can annul my symptoms).

The narcissist in question begs me to help him every week at the same time, on Tuesday nights, before his weekly paper is due. Then each time I offer him to study at the library with a group I set up, he declines and says he’s got it this time.

He trolls the Whatsapp group chats asking people to basically write his paper for him, and he moves on to the next supply to write the next paragraph. He thinks people are Google or ChatGPT. There is a general chat for the whole promotion, and a private chat for our little study group. And then there are one-to-one interactions.

But the other day, after an exam, I gave my own outline of the paper I thought would fetch a good mark. This particular guy then came onto the general chat, and said enough already, we went through the whole thing, WE KNOW HOW TO WRITE AN ESSAY, PFFF. STOP STRESSING US WITH THINGS OF THE PAST, NOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE.

First thing, it’s mid-term, so the topic will definitely pop up again. Discussing it is of interest for everyone, and unlike in Humanities, all of Law School serves for professional use later, so if you don’t get it now, you’ll be in trouble later on.

Second, I was addressing the whole group that’s dedicated to such discussions. You don’t tell people to stop talking to each other just because you don’t want to take part, like WTF.

Thirdly, he is always asking for help and has benefitted from my help on numerous occasions, and yet he built up a YOU-vs-US rethoric, that is typical of moral harassment.

I’m helping him with his homework and he’s thanking me with moral harassment and public humiliation.

That is one big narc baby.
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Narcissists often find themselves in a cycle of gaining and losing friendships, a pattern deeply rooted in their behavior and interpersonal dynamics.

Initially, they can be incredibly charming, well-groomed, and seemingly lead an enviable life, often portrayed through glamorous social media posts. This allure can make people feel special and honored to be considered a friend of such an individual. However, the initial charm and allure of a narcissist often mask a more complex and problematic reality.

Once a narcissist feels they have 'hooked' someone into their circle, the dynamics of the relationship often change dramatically. They may start to show less consideration and empathy towards their friends. The focus in the relationship shifts predominantly to their needs, desires, and issues, with little regard for the other person's feelings or boundaries. They might begin to demand more attention and validation, becoming upset or retaliatory if they don't receive the level of admiration they feel entitled to.

Over time, the narcissist's friends may start to feel more like an audience or a source of narcissistic supply rather than equal partners in a friendship. The narcissist may use manipulation tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or belittling to maintain control and keep their friends around. These behaviors can be emotionally draining and damaging for those on the receiving end.

As the true nature of the relationship becomes apparent, many friends may choose to distance themselves to protect their well-being. The narcissist's inability to form and maintain healthy, reciprocal relationships often leads to a pattern of short-lived friendships. Despite their outward appearance and initial charm, the core issue lies in their self-centered approach to relationships and lack of genuine empathy for others.
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They are terrible, immoral, pathological, non-empathetic, soulless, disordered Creatures, walking around in human husks, and pretending to be normal! Oddly enough, that’s not why they lose friendships though. 

They Don’t lose friendships, because they don’t have friends to begin with. Narcissists have opportunities and transactions with people. They can pretend, and they love make-believe, but there’s never any love, attachment, friendship, respect, care, bond, etc…

Everybody is just an Object that’s allowed to play a small role in the narcissist’s life, and only as long as we serve them in some way. Once a narc has taken everything they want and need, we no longer serve any purpose, and are quickly trashed and replaced. They can’t and don’t see anyone as a real person. We are all just as important to a narcissist as a chair or a toaster is. Are you and your toaster good friends?
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There are two main reasons why narcissists lose friendships:

The narcissist’s looming fear of being judged causes them to interpret harmless, constructive criticism as personal attacks. As a defense mechanism, they kick their perceived attackers out of their life.

Narcissists have a track record of falling-outs and burned bridges, leading to loneliness and depression.

Narcissists believe they are sweet, lovable, honest, empathetic people living in a world full of judgmental, narcissistic, intolerant, apathetic fakes. They project everything negative about themselves onto others, and it simply drives people away.

:tello: "Utility over Humanity".


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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 10:47:27 AM »


:chocdip:
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 10:31:54 AM »
How does a narcissist react
when you threaten them?


A NPD does not react positively when they are threatened!

When you threaten to expose who they really are underneath the “mask” of perfection, you expose their secret to the outside world and it becomes a fighting war to them to protect that mask! They have to protect that “mask” at all costs to the world!

So the reaction that you will get is a Rage which is a two-year-old temper tantrum, adult style! Early in our marriage I realized my husband did not tell the entire truth to me only half truth which means he lied to me. Next thing I knew he was up in my face telling me he has never lied a day in his life and who was I to judge him.

Next thing I knew he shouted out to me that I was the real liar! I thought what is he talking about??? He had me so terrified that I just nodded my head just to get away from him. And I thought "what the heck happened just now???!?!?!?!!!!" This is a method they use to control you so that you will never bring up that topic again.

You need to understand they manipulate you to control and confuse you. They also NEVER loved you ever because they are incapable of ever loving you or anybody. Their sole purpose in having you in their life is to criticize you and put you down so that they feel good about themselves!

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Make no mistake, NPD is a disorder but it seems to be a diagnosis/phrase that it's getting thrown around a lot these days.

Supposedly NPD is on the rise at an alarming rate. Let's remember that we cannot diagnose our exes as actual narcissists because we are not doctors. At least I'm not. But it was the doctors, psychiatrist, the numerous and never-ending articles I read while I was doing my research and getting educated, ALL of the “this quiz is not a diagnosis” I took to see if I was a narcissist, if my friends were narcissists, my family members, to make sure that HE WAS a narcissist.

Was my mother a narcissist?! I knew there was something mentally wrong with her. I also knew growing up there was something mentally wrong with me as well. And now I know. I believe she was Bipolar. Absolutely suffered from depression. She could have been BPD for all I know. Back then nobody gave a shite if you were mental and weren't getting any treatment. They would just call you crazy and move on.

You weren't able to leave your narcissist because nobody believed you. Sometimes you didn't even believe yourself.

The brainwashing.

The trauma bond.

If somebody heard you were in therapy, counseling or separated from your spouse, you were automatically crazy. Nut House crazy the kids would say. Now depression/anxiety and mental disorders are being recognized as symptoms of mental abuse.

It seems like it is looked at like everyone is suffering from it.

You can be upset about a situation in your life and get really sad and not be depressed. You have to be clinically diagnosed. And depression can sometimes only last a few months, depending on the person and the situation.

A diagnosis will usually involve circumstances that have been occurring most of your life or long-term. Nobody knew what NPD even was back then. I didn't even know what it was until a year ago. And then after the discard, while I was going through the worst pain ever, I educated myself about it. It became my new obsession instead of the pain I was feeling.

Now I know everything there is to know pretty much. And I still haven't made a dent in the research. All those quizzes I took with different perspectives to see if any of my ex-boyfriends were narcissists. Turns out my first, original narcissist was a 5-year relationship I had when I was 18!l. I had no clue. (this is all the crazy stuff I did when I wasn't curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out and wanting to die while I was trying to break my trauma bond) etc. All of that was worth it but a lot of people are struggling with mental disorders right now. More so than ever before.

I have a feeling that narcissism has a lot to do with that. Yes, it's just my opinion which I am entitled to, but I think the fact that narcissism is running rampant right now and is being recognized much quicker and by more people than it ever has been before, I think these narcissistic a*sholes are the reason some of us have disorders and are mentally disabled.

Putting up with their sh!t all these years! I truly believe that. At least we're getting help and we're in therapy for our issues. They don't give a jack sh!t! They're never going to be well.

EVER.

It took a while but I may finally start to pity the narcissist instead of despise them. Maybe. And hopefully someday you will get there too.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 09:06:38 AM »
What are some things a narcissist
will never tell you about him/herself?

Narcissists won't tell you they are needy, insecure, selfish, parasitic, and weak individuals.

Narcissists won't tell you that you are lovable and better than them. Narcissists will never tell you that they are jealous of your qualities and behavior; they have come to destroy everything you have.

Narcissists won't tell you they need you more than you need them; they will replace you when they find a new person.

Narcissists won't tell you that they feel terrible, miserable, and unhappy inside; they hate you for who you are. Narcissists don't want you to know they don't have any good qualities; everything they do has motives.

Narcissists won't tell you; they have been faking everything to get you in a relationship and to continue a relationship with you.

Narcissists won't tell you they have been carrying out horrible activities behind your back, which they can't tell anyone.

Narcissists won't tell you they can't live without narcissistic supply; they wear masks only to gain narcissistic supply from everyone.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 07:02:59 AM »
What are weird habits of covert narcissist?

1. Muttering things under their breath, then claiming they didn’t say anything.

2. You can’t finish a story without them interrupting on how they’ve done better or suffered worse.

3. They walk ahead of you.

4. Blames their childhood or other people for their toxic behavior.

5. They don’t like sharing their things, happy to take yours.

6. They would rather impress strangers than care for their own family.

7. They avoid family occasions while blaming others for being a no show.

8. Their words do not match their action.

9. They stare at you.

10. They are weird about gift giving.

11. They are like chameleons.

12. They take credit for your ideas.

13. They act like they are strong but they also play the victim.
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If you point out a something that is bothering or affecting you, even if you do it politely, instead of taking it as “I did a mistake, I’ll try to do better” they take it as “I guess am a horrible person” so you back down I you feel bad for pointing it out in the first place.

Using self deprecation as a tactic to get constant validation from people around them.

They try to farm compliments all the time.

They use self-pity to manipulate you and get what they want from you (money, energy, time, regardless if it has a negative impact on you, regardless if is truly fair for you).

If you share something good that happened to you with them, they either diminish it, make it about themselves or passive-aggressively undermine your accomplishment.

They’re maliciously envious of other people, even the people who love them. If you are the target of their envy they would plot your downfall.

Inconsistent opinions about other people. One day a person is awful, the other day they’re actually “good”. They will do the same to you eventually.

If they go to therapy, most likely they lie about what happens there or they stop going the moment the therapist says something they don’t like. They think therapy exists to validate their distorted sense of reality.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 06:55:59 AM »
Why do narcissists try to kill you?

My mother believes that my ex-narcissist (malignant narcissist) was trying to kill me.

I am not the type who gets sick, and when I was living with him, I was vomiting quite a lot, and no it wasn't morning sickness. I have always had horrible endometriosis and cannot have children.

This went on for quite a while, and it was very strange.

After he was gone, my mother found antifreeze.

Every night, because he went to "work," the narcissist used to make me green tea and other types of tea. I now believe he was poisoning me.

I recall that when he would set the tea down by my bedside, he was very attentive and even "affectionate," but only during that time.

He probably thought it was funny that he was putting antifreeze into my drinks while pretending he loved me.

The reason why narcissists try to kill you is to get rid of you, or to make you so sick that they can get away from you.

They also kill people for life insurance and material reasons.

In my case, even though the bastard convinced me to stay with him, he was playing a sick game with me and wanted to “win.”
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Let me tell you why:

They are shameless and have zero decency. Especially with OWN children.

They have little self control

They easily blow up like a volcano over the slightest of things

They envy normal human beings because they know they live at a much lower level than us. Lower level as in possibility of experiencing happiness.

The narcissist is always about self gain. Don’t dare come in the way or you will be easily wiped off planet Earth.

Narcissists love money. They don’t like to divorce but prefer the partner eliminated to get everything themselves.

If you are the scapegoat, watch out. You are a constant threat to the narcissist.
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Mine just smirked at me when I was groaning away with renal failure. Thank God for that little emergency button on the phone. That's the last thing I could do. The narc had gone into the bedroom and closed the door. When the ambulance came they scooped me off the couch and that's it.

The reason? I guess control of material stuff and new supply. Cold hearted .

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