Oz Round Table

The Oz Round Table boards => The Round Table => Topic started by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 04:32:48 PM

Title: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 04:32:48 PM: Good morning class and welcome to what the sign says.

Have a seat and listen up.

Lesson 1) Get some tools

Lesson 2) Learn how to use them

Lesson 3) Procure raw materials and build something

Lesson 4) Capitalize on your talents

Any questions?

Class dismissed.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 04:47:41 PM: Hardware identification quiz

1) Steel Zip Tie

2) Disc Brake Grommet

3) Hose Clamp

4) Cock Ring

(Grading is on a long curve)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 06:01:01 PM: ROLL CALL

1 Replies
34 Views

Truancy? No problem.
Oh, no worries about the Hall Monitor.
It's just a Job Title, not a duty.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 06:11:56 PM: Present
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 06:16:04 PM: OK Class, for your first Assignment, you are required to torque on this machine to factory specs and paint it.
Your deadline is in 2 weeks.

Move.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 06:18:37 PM: Can I get a left handed paintbrush a tin of striped paint and a left handed screwdriver please ....
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 06:19:25 PM: Torquing that could cause some tension
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 06:30:53 PM: Pull until it *clicks*.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 06:32:34 PM: Quote from: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 06:18:37 PM
Can I get a left handed paintbrush a tin of striped paint and a left handed screwdriver please ....

I suppose you want a Gender-Neutral Tool Belt?
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 06:47:14 PM: REMINDER

This is NOT a hammer.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 06:49:40 PM: Its an ice pick
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 06:52:22 PM: What Happens When You Grind Aluminum?

When an idiot tries to grind aluminum on a stone grinding wheel, the aluminum will heat up and melt. The melted aluminum attaches itself to the open pores on the grinding wheel and covers it up so it cannot effectively grind any more. You break it, you buy it, and FLUNK!

And a BIG FAT F awaits your test score!

https://topbenchgrinders.com/grind-aluminum-on-bench-grinder/#:~:text=Here%20are%20a%20few%20steps%20to%20take%20to,snot%20wobble%20or%20come%20loose.%20More%20items...%20
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 06:55:37 PM: Quote from: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 06:49:40 PM
Its an ice pick

Bar Clamp.

It's for clamping Bars.

Bartender Clamps sold separately.

Order your Waitress Clamps now!
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 07:17:49 PM: Tools, sex and money.

That's what this Racket is about!

Beware: You still have the OPT OUT choice on your student application.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 07:27:18 PM: Work or Die.

Do nothing and Die.

Mind your own business and Die.

Be in America and potentially Die.

Live in America and yer already good as dead. It's just a matter of time and your Credit Rating and Student Loan Balance.

And there's "just BEING there". That always makes HEADLINES!
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 07:35:14 PM: Can you help me out and point to where my 10mm socket is please

(https://content.instructables.com/ORIG/F3N/6R7Y/ISCBSFIH/F3N6R7YISCBSFIH.jpg?fit=bounds&frame=1)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 07:43:28 PM: Shoe box under the microwave, to the left and down.

Damn I thot I was looking at a picture thing that looks like this:
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 07:50:48 PM: [INSITE POINT] "Everybody is, has and will be something someday. This means YOU!

Criticizing your world does not help your Eternal Portfolio.

Powering-out does!

Grab a Tool". :knightromance:
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 08:07:15 PM: OK Class, moving along in no particular order...

This is a test.
There are NO RIGHT answers.
You will not win.

Play or Die.

3 photos.

Name the Similarities and the Differences in a 2000+ word report.
Your Deadline is in 72 hours starting when ya start.

Move
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 08:12:10 PM: Hint: Bacon fueled the men who worked the shops that built the shite that built America and elsewhere, where ever bacon is sold..

And therefore, Bacon is an Industrial Fuel !
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 08:25:21 PM: I would like to sandwich this bacon

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeitfNw_9p6RVN_WmUiCQg_qls6vy5SXlx0w&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 08:31:07 PM: Get contactless delivery from the BLT Patrol.
(Image not actual size)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 08:36:35 PM: That bread is stale
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 08:40:33 PM: One Student wrote: " I wanna die, kill myself and go to Comedy Hell so I can hang out with those Keystone guys. I really like the fashion."
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 08:41:55 PM: Quote from: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 08:36:35 PM
That bread is stale

No.

You are.

Detention. See you at 4.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 08:42:58 PM: Its sub standard and you know it ....get rid of it , and then deal with yourself
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 08:49:42 PM: Deal? Self?

11 years and running.

No turning back now.

Forward or stay in bed.

Don't flock this up for me, man. I can do it myself.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 09:25:02 PM: Math Quiz:

How many Man Hours will it take for you and a crew of 20 to clean up this Industrial Mishap?

Factor the elements of Actual Wages, Union Strikes, Government Regulations, Heavy Machinery Leasing and Inspector Bribes into the calculations.

You may begin now.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 09:37:00 PM: What nationality are the crew of 20 .....and are gloves supplied
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 10:08:56 PM: And the man on the horse on the right of your screen has to GO!

He's potentially contaminating a crime scene.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 10:10:44 PM: Quote from: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 09:37:00 PM
What nationality are the crew of 20 .....and are gloves supplied

A: The Nationality of the Train.

BYO gloves, Independent Contractor blighter....
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 10:13:41 PM: Dont worry about the horsean contaminating the scene

Youve already contaminated the whole thread by serving a BLT in stale bread ......

Some people just dont deserve bacon .....

You owe our loyal viewers an apology
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 11:29:01 PM: Ok, Sorry about smee, folks. He's a Limey, and his shorts are down under...his knees.

Let's Review:

The FIRST STEP to doing shop is to

HAVE a Shop.

Then you Tool-Up!

Maybe later on ya can go to work....
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 11:39:55 PM: ASSIGNMENT: Procure Tools.

Start here:
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 10, 2020, 11:56:55 PM: Ok ....well since no apology has been forth coming for the stale BLT sandwich

Ive had to bring in the bacon police ..

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSCq_0YlNnWjt9oe630VGGnSJSQrQbrjWcqKQ&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 10, 2020, 11:57:00 PM: Don't forget the Duct Tape to use when the Pork rolls in!
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 12:12:10 AM: Tools etiquette and logistics:
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 12:16:17 AM: Regardless of the gear or gig, Safety Nazis are on the job, too.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 12:20:15 AM: Time is your enemy.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 12:22:22 AM: (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSiGyl2H_K3E5Zowt04U4SJwJo1I2xvMFQXEw&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 12:24:55 AM: (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTFzrrhs-f9iLd4UiE8EKX6GFKdtx3G5uTJeA&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 12:26:27 AM: (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQbXLT1O5MHtBmSHkfpJe-cYJAr8eGeMj5c7Q&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 12:27:33 AM: (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9uGZP-Z4AQc-OxSKoaoC3fRwcKMR13KG8XQ&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 12:27:49 AM: Working Smart can get you promoted to Tool Crib Monitor.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 12:28:24 AM: (https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/400x/64562888.jpg)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 12:34:16 AM: Shouldda not worked overtime with work-related fatigue....
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 12:39:20 AM: Don't forget to bring a crescent wrench!
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 12:43:43 AM: Meanwhile, back in the office....
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 11:24:31 AM: bought myself a nail gun for Christmas

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTS040RA795vBM-oI0BPGbMPbdB5hDRh7wLbA&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 11:28:50 AM: Heres a good hack ...

If youre gonna use a hammer
put a bandage on first , it saves getting blood on your wood

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTvNO6qajdfPF_hkCTk-iiB58xqR5IfaA-F_w&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 11:33:13 AM: Never try and remove a facial pimple with an angle grinder

(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvdj-AotYOJrjqq_nYUaaHE_8kf60CeYiAVw&usqp=CAU)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 05:41:39 PM: Quote from: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 11:24:31 AM
Bought myself a nail gun for Christmas

Too bad ya can't return it now that it's being held as Evidence in a Tool and Work-related Crime.

They have already rounded up all the usual idiot suspects. The smart ones had decent alibis and bounced.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 05:45:01 PM: So, hey smee! Are we shifting into Rotten.com Gear?
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 05:48:59 PM: I believe I am deluded to think that this joint is a Family Friendly Internet Destination.

I intended to say something about "DISFUNCTIONAL" in the mix.

Got that?
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on December 11, 2020, 06:13:26 PM: You cant hide from the real world

Some bad things happen
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 11, 2020, 06:40:54 PM: Duh....

Preach it somewhere else, thx!
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on December 17, 2020, 08:22:56 PM: Attention class.
Now hear this:

Group Effort. 2 Teams.

One weekend of your choice.

Build this:

https://www.instructables.com/How-to-build-a-rain-water-collector/
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on January 31, 2021, 05:41:42 AM: 4758 Views on a Junk Thread? Again?
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *CountessA* on January 31, 2021, 05:44:05 PM: (https://lowres.cartooncollections.com/gimmicky-novelties-gift_shop-novelty_shop-ny-retail-CC38223_low.jpg)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on February 15, 2021, 10:22:25 PM: 12 years in this Racket and I'm still hungry.

How about we share a sawdust and mustard sammich?
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on February 15, 2021, 10:25:17 PM: 4902 Views :crayfish:
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on September 14, 2022, 07:36:20 AM: Hi and welcome back!

Tool Crib is in my kitchen.

Kitchen is a tool crib.

I can scramble eggs with a weedwhacker
and spackle with a spatula.

Not recommended for mortals. (THAT'S YOU!)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *CountessA* on September 14, 2022, 03:14:48 PM: Weedkiller smoothie - not my thing.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on September 14, 2022, 05:11:58 PM: Your THING is a mystery.

There's no catering to that here.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *CountessA* on September 15, 2022, 01:14:35 PM: Between the obvious and a mystery lies a vast landscape, un paysage inscrutable.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on September 15, 2022, 04:34:55 PM: Between the street lamp and my front porch, there is a Market.

Can I get you something?
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *CountessA* on September 16, 2022, 11:24:56 PM: A club sandwich as they make them in Beechworth, Victoria.
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on September 17, 2022, 12:53:55 PM: You want Fries with that?
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *CountessA* on September 29, 2022, 04:52:00 PM: No, I want a beesting with that. (The baked one.)
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: tellomon on January 03, 2023, 01:26:24 PM: You are a beautiful woman.
Don't compromise it all on an insect deli.

:offtopic:
Title: Re: Tello Shop . 101
Post by: *smee* on January 03, 2023, 08:31:10 PM: Get one from Gisborne