Are narcissists really oblivious
to their boundless selfishness?
Narcissists are selfish and even delusional, in the sense that they represent themselves to you as something they are not. Then they actually “live” this fantasy out.
They also don't care about morals, because they don't have any. All morals they proclaim to possess are only in relation to how choices affect them. This makes them supreme hypocrites.
I know there are some hoity-toity "professionals" who have been going around on different Quora accounts and making fun of the writers who said narcissists are delusional. They claim that narcissists aren't delusional.
I often point such scoffers to a well-known Ph.D. on Quora who writes about how narcissists are indeed quite delusional and can also bring you down into Delulu Island with them if you stick around them long enough.
And yet, quite a few non-narcissists actually already reside on Delulu Island, truth be told. We have expectations for people that they aren't capable of, and people represent themselves in the most false of ways, even to the extreme as narcissists do.
We also paint a picture of narcissists as something they are not, even when the red flags come along. I understand that sometimes the red flags aren't obvious, and people not versed in narcissism aren't often aware of them. But as of 2024, narcissistic abuse resources are everywhere now.
Almost everyone by now has heard of narcissism. And so I have hope things will improve.
But I digress.
Yes, narcissists are extremely selfish, and they capitalize on that they can bring out a lower level mode of existence out of their victims or hosts (because narcissists are parasites). At first, they feed you with "love" and endless attention. They give you what you want, and they lovebomb you to oblivion.
This develops an extreme attachment to a narcissist, and soon enough, your fantasties revolve around a happily ever after with them built on the lies of Disney movies and religious conditioning that keep you a slave to “love.” This is how they work both sides of the coin. Soon enough, they take this away and starve you. This is how you become "addicted." And yet, your idealisation gets worse with time. You don’t want to let go of feelings.
Narcissists are the most manipulative and selfish individuals to ever disgrace this planet. But we have to stop idealizing them. If you don't, you run the risk of becoming a bit like them, and not only that, you're worshipping a pile of garbage. Who wants that?
I understand though. It takes supreme willpower and mind over matter to fight this battle. You have to get out of your feelings, and also take control of your thoughts. No idealisation. Break that. I know that biology is also powerful here. Thankfully, some of us don't have as high a sex drive, and with age, that dies down, so that helps.
But for younger victims, this may be a major problem. The sex has blinded you and made you a slave to your feelings and sensations. This is exactly how a narcissist operates as they are also slaves to their sensations.I would recommend getting into a fitness routine or something that takes your mind off of sex. You are in a trauma bond and sexual addiction with the narcissist.
Realise that sex is also 90% mental and physical expression is only a reflection of this. (Sex with narcissists isn't even that good because they are selfish and they cannot connect to you.) I was just reading a post where a woman was going on and on about how "beautiful" the sex was with an ex-narcissist, and I was really stunned because I never experienced this. This is why I said that some victims are living on Delulu Island and need to stop idealising.
The idealising of a narcissist is also 90% of the "attraction" you have for them, I can guarantee this. That's why I said mind over matter. The power of the mind is more powerful than the heart and if you can elevate to a higher level, even our natural makeup or biology. When people say they love from the heart, I would also advise to not trust one's feelings, as mentioned. Love is different than feelings. Love is not the same.
So while we know narcissists are very selfish, abusive, and lack boundaries, it's also important to notice our own boundaries when it comes to how we view them. Wanting to hold onto false illusions and delusions creates a bond with the narcissist that will be more difficult to extricate from, and not only that, the emphasis on "feelings" and sensations creates the risk that we reside on the narcissist's lower level of existence.
We need to rise above their level and use our power of mind over matter, which is something the narcissist can never do because they lack the higher level thinking and morality to do so. Remember, they are boundless, egocentric creatures who thrive on a very base, animalistic level, even the ones who are more "cerebral" aren't as intelligent as they seem, just crafty, egotistical pieces of garbage who are trying to get ahead at your expense.
So while narcissists are oblivious to their own lower level mode of being, we don’t have to live on their Delulu Island. Let’s get back to the land of reality and common sense. *************************
Just a bit of an explanation here. People have been plagiarizing my writing and Quora wants me to prove this after I alerted them. Even though they have access to all of my posts that are dated, I am still waiting for a response. One individual has basically copy-pasted my writing word for word, and isn’t even afraid of being found out. So on every post I am now including a copyright.
Copyright (c) 2024 by Gwen on Quora
"Thanks Gwen".__________________________________
Narcissists often exhibit a lack of awareness or concern regarding the impact of their selfish behaviors on others, but whether they are truly oblivious to their boundless selfishness is a complex question.
Here are some factors to consider:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists typically lack empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This lack of empathy can make it difficult for them to recognize or acknowledge the emotional consequences of their selfish actions on others. They may be more focused on fulfilling their own needs and desires without considering how it affects those around them.
Grandiosity and Entitlement: Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement, believing they are superior to others and deserving of special treatment. This grandiosity can lead them to believe that their needs and desires are more important than those of others, making it easier for them to justify their selfish behaviors without feeling remorse or guilt.
Defense Mechanisms: Narcissists commonly use defense mechanisms such as denial, rationalization, and projection to protect their fragile self-esteem and avoid facing uncomfortable truths about themselves. They may deny or minimize their selfishness, rationalize their behavior as justified, or project their own flaws onto others to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists often use manipulation and control tactics to get what they want from others. They may exploit the vulnerabilities or insecurities of others to manipulate them into fulfilling their needs or desires, without regard for the well-being of those individuals. This manipulation can further reinforce their sense of entitlement and diminish their awareness of their own selfishness.
Cognitive Dissonance: Some narcissists may experience cognitive dissonance, a psychological phenomenon where they hold contradictory beliefs or attitudes. They may simultaneously believe they are special and deserving of admiration while also engaging in selfish behaviors that contradict these beliefs. To resolve this cognitive dissonance, they may distort reality or engage in mental gymnastics to justify their actions and maintain their self-image.
While narcissists may not always be completely oblivious to their selfishness, their underlying psychological traits, defense mechanisms, and cognitive distortions often contribute to a lack of awareness or concern regarding the impact of their behavior on others. It's important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and individuals may vary in their level of self-awareness and capacity for change.
