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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 04:28:18 AM »
Why does everyone say you can't win against a narcissist?

You can't win against a narcissist, because they don't care, and you do –

It's a rigged playing field.

People who try to “win” against the narcissist, usually do so by trying to attain some form of moral high-ground, demonstrating to the narcissist all that is wrong with them, how bad they have been, etc.

Might as well be reading the narcissist a bedtime story, because while you are trying to show them the wrong of their ways, they are just awe-struck by how boring you have become now wishing you leave them for good and don't return.

You only “win” against the narcissist, by reaching that point of equally not-caring, and most people don't have it in them to reach that point. (After all, narcissists are humans too with at least some potential for good, or at least that is what many insist on believing…)

The point where you realize the narcissist's abuse against you, in a way, was your own allowing. Now your boundaries are stronger, and you no longer entertain these human pests, you have seen the light.

No hard feelings, it all served a purpose – you now have a new world, which they shall never partake in!

And, of course, you must withdraw yourself and engage in these things more interesting than them, where you no longer think, obsess, ruminate over them.

Because even if you do “move on” and do other things, if they continue to live in your mind rent-free, you feel their energy, it just shows they are the best, most interesting thing, you still have in your life. And you don't even have them!!

So where does that leave you?

Right where the narcissist wants you.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 17, 2024, 05:18:19 PM »
What does a narcissist do when they
know that their partner has
figured them out?

Omgeeee…. This is not a gud thing for them. It makes them angry and powerless. They realise they are no longer in control and because of this they will try to end the relationship.. not because they want to but because the realise u are not feeding their ego anymore.

My husband told me he doesn't want a wife who question anything he does. I should say ok to whatever and there will always be peace 😆.

He now realizes how strong willed I am and doesn't depend on him for anything. He doesn't like that either. He wants me to wrk one job even though he ain't giving me sh!t and I stood up to him and let him know that this is not his decision to make until he can at least try to assist in supporting me financially. Until then stfu.

Right now he wants me out. But I ain't going nowhere until am ready. Screw him.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 17, 2024, 04:54:28 AM »



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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 17, 2024, 03:09:34 AM »
Here's how narcissists lie
and get away when
they are caught

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 17, 2024, 02:57:03 AM »
What does a narcissist
do when you told them you
know they are lying to you?

Deny it.

Lie about the lie.

Gaslight you to make you think you're going insane.

Blame shift.

Belittle you.

Demean you.

Rage.

Change the subject.

Leave the room and come back like it never happened.

Any tactic possible to avoid taking full accountability.

A true narcissist will never accept accountability for their actions.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 16, 2024, 06:37:03 PM »
:rosebloom:
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 16, 2024, 06:16:46 PM »
:piper:
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 16, 2024, 06:03:57 PM »
Why does a narcissist always try to defend his lies?

BECAUSE HIS LIES IS ALL HE'S GOT.

The narcissist has literally nothing else to offer you.

Lies.

Upon those lies you build hope.

And there you have your narcissistic relationship.

Lies and futile hope.

There's nothing else in the stars for you.

Not as long as you entertain this narcissist.

The narcissist always defends his lies so you can always keep on hoping.

Hoping that you're wrong.

Hoping that he will understand.

Hoping that he will change.

Until one day you'll realize that you’ve been giving your all, for absolutely nothing in return.

Nothing but lies.

Some people wasted 6 months doing that.

Some wasted 45 years.

It all depends on your level of delusion.

Good luck.

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 16, 2024, 05:08:30 PM »
What do narcissists feel inside?

They feel :

Powerful in a relationship, they need to be seen as the dominant force. If you challenge them in any way, you’ve irreversibly harmed their pride and are likely on the road to being discarded.

More Important than you . They can’t be with someone who makes them feel inferior or take the spotlight away.

Noticed from their perspective, it always feels like the world isn’t recognizing their amazing talent . They think they're God’s gift to mankind.

Need to be worshiped . They need that partner to express their love to the fullest whenever they’re around, and especially when anyone else is around. Narcissists want others to see that their partner worships the ground they walk on.

They feel like you’re in control, at every moment. It’s that ego fragility that makes narcissists so dangerous to be around; they can snap at any moment when they feel threatened.

A narcissist wants you to fill in all the little cracks in their ego.

They want you to recognize all of their good qualities and ignore the unsavory ones.

They want you to make them look better whenever you’re together.

They want you to get out of the way when they are BORED with you and they go looking for a NEW SOURCE OF SUPPLY !

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on May 16, 2024, 05:55:23 AM »
What happens when you show
no emotions towards a narcissist?

They get confused.

They keep trying to make you upset.

They do something sneaky without you knowing, like lying, cheating, or stealing.

They might try to start a fight over something small or blame you for things to get a reaction.

They talk to other people who support them and say bad things about you.

Then, they start treating you badly, making you feel unimportant and confused.

They spend more time on social media, looking for attention.

When they find someone new who doesn't know them well but likes them, they keep trying to impress them.

Meanwhile, they treat you worse, showing less care and being mean.

You might decide to leave, or they might decide to end things with you.

The story is over until the narcissist gets bored. Then, they might try to come back (hoovering).

You can choose to stop talking to them completely, or the narcissist might start the same cycle again. This can happen over and over until you decide to cut off contact for real.
You might feel sad about the time you wasted and that someone tricked you. It's good to talk to someone for advice on why this happened and how to avoid it in the future.

Finally, because you are smart, you move on. Later, you might look back and laugh, realizing you can't believe you fell for someone like them.

Don't forget this, no matter how long it takes to feel better, find support, and you will get through it!

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