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41
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 04:53:31 AM »
Do narcissists know beforehand when they're going to discard you?
I had no idea.


Ron Culley

11 months into the relationship with my ex-Narc at her homestead, I get this out-of-the blue PM:

10/11/2016 6:06AM

To: Ron
From: Luka

“FYI: Sherry has been talking sh!t about you saying you're a freeloader living off her. Lazy bum drunk...she is spending nights with Kevin in town, says she made you sleep in her RV. Not in a relationship any more. Planning to give you the boot. A conspiracy, Pretty low. That is why I am writing to you. I hate cheaters, liars and backstabbers. Lame ass way to do things. She made herself out as a victim. Not cool...”

So yeah, scheming and conniving is the name of that game.
Now, in 2024, she found new supply in the world of Boondocking, and left me here at her house.
“Abandonment” is the key word now. I have alerted the authorities bc I have no significant income and she maliciously denied me heating fuel. Breach of Duty of Care and Elderly Abuse.

What a Charmer….
______________________________________

Narcissists may not know the EXACT moment they will discard you, but they have pre-planned their ENTIRE relationship with you before you even realize it.

You don't know that when you first start speaking to them that they more than likely ALREADY have at least one more man/woman they're in a relationship with.

They just picked you next, because they're devaluing that other person.

And they've picked YOU to be their next “victim.”

So they love bomb you. Make you feel amazing. Tell you that you're the one they've been looking for.

And they act as though they are ready to start a long term relationship with you. They ask you if you would be willing to move where they live.

And you fall in love with them. And you tell them you love them. And they say the same back.

And then- it's perfect. You just admitted to the Narcissist that you're committed to them- because YOU love them. But they don't truly love YOU.

So- the moment you tell them you love them- they begin looking for ANOTHER new person to start dating.

And they use the same lines that worked on you on this new person.

And once this new person is secured- THIS is when they discard you.

Because you aren't “shiny and new” any longer.

Your routine of saying “good morning” to them and speaking with them throughout the day is too boring.

And you're completely shocked when they discard you, because it's completely out of nowhere.

You haven't even had one fight with them.

But this is what Narcissists do. Once you begin begging them to take you back- they know you're Trauma Bonded to them.

And this is when they start giving you the Silent Treatment, and the emotional abuse ramps up.
___________________________________

I’m going to go against what I used to think before.

Not always.

That is, they don’t necessarily always plan things to go an exact way, not all the time!

In some cases, they may have thought about utilizing you for long term plans, but something happened to change that. Maybe there was an easier way to do things, or another person who could make something happen for them.

Maybe they did try to get you to cooperate, but you refused. Maybe you didn’t understand at the time, that your refusal meant they would eventually look elsewhere, or were already planning, in case you couldn’t be a part of what they wanted.

So, not all of them actually deliberately discard you in a schematic way, which goes to say, they are still very self-centred, so if you’re not really going to cooperate, and they “want what they want NOW” they’re going to definitely leave or do something horrible, and in this case, it appears it was all a well-conceived plan. But it wasn’t actually that perfect, it only appeared that way.

Perhaps this can explain why they also get so cruel and mean in the end. They now know you’re not worth anything to them, and they need to move on.

And of course, they never like hearing “No.” The day I said “No” was the day the great Narcissistic Book of Revelation opened up, and I was aplomb in shock and awe. Hell hath no fury like a narcissist deprived of a compliant and meek slave.

42
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 04:27:11 AM »
Are narcissists for narcissists?

No, probably not. Narcissists would probably be threatened by the presence of another narcissist. They look for people who they can gain control over or manipulate which results in some sort of gain, or SUPPLY for them.

Examples of this would be: gaining positive attention, self-esteem, praise etc. Notice that none of this is related to money—although it helps.

In the narcissists mind, the most important thing is being recognized, adored and validated. So, if another narcissist was in their world they would be afraid the other person would outshine them. In fact it is possible that they would actively dislike another narcissist and engage in activity to undermine each other.
____________________________________

Narcissists are for themselves. Narcs know when they’re in the presence of another narc. Narcs are non apologetic opportunists. They’re ALL users. If they can use each other…of course they will. Anything resembling loyalty is non existent. It’s 100% self centered.
____________________________________________

I’m confused by this question. I’ll answer it though the best I can.

A Narcissist doesn’t want another narcissist. They want an empath. They want some one that will give them supply. They want someone that they can manipulate, gaslight, confuse, control, use and abuse.

They want someone understanding, full of empathy, that easily forgives and trusts. They care about their needs only! Why would they want another narcissist? They need to be the most superior, most important, self-coddled and enabled. They need all the pampering, attention and pleasing. They have to have the best ideas and opinions! They will take anyone’s opinion or advice over yours.

Why would they want someone just like them that they have to constantly compete with? They want to win, gain, control and destroy all in the name of surviving their own shame, guilt, traumas and insecurities. They want to hide, not be seen.

Narcissists go after vulnerable and/or good hearted people. They don’t want to be the one being cheated on, used, discarded or manipulated! They need someone that’s a bit of a challenge and out of their league by success, respect or looks to boost their confidence and grandiose false image but they will soon kill this person's worth and value.

They don’t want someone that they cannot devalue. They don’t want another narcissist.

There can only be one to rule and destroy the relationship.

They ruin everything they touch or come into contact with. They will hurt the most innocent while coming off as victim. Narcissists are not aware they are narcissists. That would shatter their ego and false self-image. Often times they will accuse their victims and partners of being a narc.

Narcissists are all for themselves.... period!

43
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 03:52:55 AM »
What does ignoring the
narcissist really do to them?

Most narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego. Their self-esteem is connected by how much attention they can get from you and/or others.

A person with high levels of narcissism can get more aggressive when being ignored. When they think you are ignoring them, some won’t be able to control their temper, so they may lash out or change their approach by being aggressive with their calls or text messages demanding to talk or communicate with you.

They will never be ready to discuss or be accountable for what they did or said to you. They will just expect you to accept what they want or need while they will be very hypocritical by ignoring their actions. Yes, they will be mad or upset at you for ignoring them, but when or once you call them out on their behavior, they will get mad at you, and in return ignore you.

Even if you ignore a narcissist for whatever reason that may be, they will eventually get bored and seek attention from someone else.

The narcissist may replace you with someone else who won’t ignore them and give them the attention, and control that they seek.

This is why ignoring a narcissist should be more about you, and less about them. This is how they operate, and how they satisfy their narcissistic supply.

Solution: Ignoring them is one of the easiest ways to redeem your control, regain your sense of clarity, and restore your power by focusing your attention on yourself. As far as what happens to a narcissist when you ignore them is really irrelevant. May you know the signs. May you not become a victim. And may you be more concern about your healing, recovery, and emotional-mental health.
_____________________________________

Oh, it almost always pisses them off.

Narcissists are all about manipulation and attention — that is to say, they manipulate people and situations to get the most attention. It’s how they get what they want.

So if you ignore them, they can’t work their charm on you. You can’t fall for their trap, so to speak.

Which is why it’s a very effective way of making sure you keep yourself away from relationships with narcissistic partners or minimizing the abuse they can do to you. You just ignore them.

And I know, it’s not always possible or even easy to do, but if you can, I suggest that’s what you do.

Sure, you’ll piss them off, but sooner or later, they’ll realize that their efforts are better spent somewhere else.

44
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 03:37:59 AM »
How does a covert narcissist
treat you when you are sick?


Ron Culley

My ex-Narc is Malignant. That shouldn’t detract from the story.
One morning I woke up with my left arm being gimp. It musta been the way I slept on it.
I tell her “My arm is lame. I may need physical therapy”.
Then, in her infinite ignorance and disdain for life she decries:

“I CAN’T HAVE DEADBEATS LIVING HERE!”

What a Charmer.
____________________________________

A covert narcissist may treat you differently when you are sick, and their behavior can vary depending on their individual traits and coping mechanisms. It's essential to remember that not everyone with narcissistic traits will act the same way, and individual experiences may differ. However, some common patterns of behavior that a covert narcissist may display when you are sick include:

Lack of Empathy: Covert narcissists typically struggle with empathizing with others.

When you're sick, they may show little concern for your well-being or downplay the severity of your illness, making you feel unheard or invalidated.

Manipulation: Covert narcissists may use your vulnerability when you're sick to their advantage. They may employ manipulation tactics to gain control, attention, or sympathy from others, even using your illness to play the victim themselves.

Withholding Support: Instead of offering genuine support, a covert narcissist may withhold emotional or practical assistance when you need it most. They may be reluctant to take care of you or show concern for your recovery.

Making It About Themselves: Covert narcissists have a tendency to redirect the focus onto themselves. Even when you're sick, they might find a way to make the situation about their struggles or accomplishments, minimizing your feelings and experiences.

Gaslighting: A covert narcissist may gaslight you, making you doubt your own feelings and perceptions about your sickness. They might undermine your symptoms or make you question whether you are genuinely ill, further eroding your self-confidence.

Feigned Concern: Some covert narcissists may pretend to care for you when you're sick, but their concern is often superficial and self-serving. They might use your illness to garner praise or admiration from others for being a "caring" person.

Dismissing Your Needs: Instead of catering to your needs during your illness, a covert narcissist may dismiss them entirely, showing little interest in helping you feel better or providing any necessary care.

It's essential to recognize these patterns and set boundaries with individuals who consistently exhibit narcissistic behaviors. If you suspect that someone in your life is a covert narcissist and their treatment is negatively affecting you, consider seeking support from a mental health professional or counselor to help you navigate these challenging dynamics.
______________________________________

They mock you. Tell you that you are faking, slacking etc. No emotion, no concern, no empathy.

Reason being they are truly the sick one always. Its all about them. Forever.

So when they get sick, pretend not to notice.

Watch them go berserk! Such fun.

Have fun with your narc. Press those buttons.

45
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 03:13:38 AM »
Are covert narcissists that dangerous?


Absolutely yes.

What makes a covert narcissist dangerous?

Covert narcissists are extremely difficult to spot. They appear to be loving, caring, and kind. They can easily win the trust and confidence of people around them, including yourself.

Covert narcissist victim's mentality in every situation gives them the benefit of doubt. They exactly know how to play the victim card.

Covert narcissists are very cunning in spoiling your reputation; they will spoil your reputation by showing care and concern without using abusive words. People will believe that covert narcissists are very bothered about their partner.

Covert narcissists are very passive and aggressive in nature; you won't even realize for ages that you are being abused.

Covert narcissists are very good at covering up their cheating habits; it's very difficult to catch them cheating.

It's very hard to collect evidence and proof against covert narcissists because they know how to hide abusive behavior.

Covert narcissists will be sitting in front of you, talking nicely; they will be plotting something horrible about you with a cool and calm mind.

Covert narcissists are vindictive in nature; they will keep punishing people for things that have offended them.

Covert narcissists will drain your energy completely by acting like victims. They keep feeding on your empathy and sympathy.

It's very hard to leave Covert narcissists because you feel guilty for leaving them, and they make you addicted to them.

Covert narcissists are wolves in sheep's clothes.

46
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 02:58:52 AM »
:mummy:
47
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 02:45:55 AM »
Do narcissists ever apologize or feel
remorse after discarding their partner
and moving on to another source
of supply?

Nope.

The only time you will hear a sorry from a narcissists mouth is when they need to utilize such a word to garner something from you, use you for whatever it is they view you as being able to supply.

You see, a narcissist never really believes they have anything to ‘feel’ sorry for, nor should they ever feel the need to use that word remorsefully.

They don’t ‘feel’ remorse outwardly, ie for you. They will feel sorry for themselves.. maybe they ran out of a few things that others can supply, low on supply, they will feel a pang of feeling sorry for themselves. Never you. Ever, you.

I know, I know, they can be so convincing at times. But, don’t fall for the sorry bs. Once you are back under the wing of the narcissistic cycle, you will soon learn the word sorry and start feeling it for yourself.

Sorry you fell for their crap once again, sorry that you allowed yourself to be sucked in, sorry that this person you loved is not capable of loving you, even as much as you had wished and hoped for it to not be the case.

Save your sorrys by ignoring their sorrys.

Go an be happys. Happys are a lot better than sorrys.
__________________________________

No, nope, zero, nil…. why should they? They did nothing wrong but “fall madly, deeply and passionately in lust… oops i mean in love” for the next “love of their lives”. If they apologise that means they did something wrong, they are perfect and perfect people do no wrong.

It's easier to blame you, you must sit with their guilt and shame because they are not prepared to deal with your burdens…. after all, their lives are now perfect since you left and they have another who is 100,000 times better then you. Let the clown and the joker play happy in the circus they have created.


48
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 02:10:41 AM »
Don't UNDERESTIMATE the Chosen Ones


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49
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 29, 2024, 01:48:14 AM »
When a Narcissist is Afraid
of Your Presence,
This is What They Will Do

Narcissists try to hide their egotism and envy by acting like they are sorry and want to succeed. There is no doubt that they will reach their goals. They are only interested in making money. And it makes them very happy to spend money on things that make them look better and get people's attention.




50
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 28, 2024, 02:30:09 PM »
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