One of the most difficult things in a narcissistic relationship is communication. The narcissist does not want to understand you or resolve conflict. They want to remain in control and dominate you. They want to win. They look at simple communication like a tool for power. They withhold pertinent information from you, stonewall important topics, and give very frequent and lengthy silent treatments.
This control over communication weakens the survivor’s resolve and causes great harm within a family system. Some survivors cannot do no contact and they are at the whim of narcissistic bully. To those of you “stuck” talking with them, in essence, you have to learn to detach even at the parenting level. You will be parenting alone much of the time. Imagine how much a child will be confused by a narcissist who weaponizes communication?
So it’s best to gather your strength and accept you are parenting alone. I held out hope far longer than I should have because my son is autistic. My therapist kept saying “let go of the idea of him parenting” and “you have done it alone this far”. I struggled because I couldn’t imagine someone not wanting to be emotionally involved in their children’s lives. Legally, they have parenting apps , but it must be judge ordered. These apps at least hold the the narcissistic parent accountable, but good luck trying to get them on an app that holds them accountable. Keep healing survivors.
