Author Topic: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?) (Read 4244380 times)

tellomon · « **Reply #9500 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:01:49 PM »

If she has a tail, she's a Roo.

Try again.

tellomon · « **Reply #9501 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:11:34 PM »

I have had my unfair share of Yank Skirts.

All posers and out for blood and money.
Fail.

Now I wanna sample the exotic and savage.
Something opposite of White Trash.
Adventurous? You Bet!

Dangerous?
Only if she has a Drop Bear in her purse.

tellomon · « **Reply #9502 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:16:05 PM »

Sherry once asked me "What is a Drop Bear?"

I said "Worse than scabies".

tellomon · « **Reply #9503 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:20:16 PM »

Sherry once asked me "Who is Steve Irwin?"

I said "Ever see the movie
'Dances with Stingrays' ?"

tellomon · « **Reply #9504 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:23:40 PM »

Sherry once asked me "Who the felafel do you think you are?"

And I said "A Knight of the OZRT"

That dint help in my defense.

(Seriously guys, I couldda used some Back Up on that one...)

tellomon · « **Reply #9505 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:28:08 PM »

Sherry once asked me "How could you lose your thots?"

And I said "They lost me. I had to take a bus to get home, remember?"

tellomon · « **Reply #9506 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:34:35 PM »

Sherry once asked me "What is the meaning of life?"

And I said "The Monty Python movie I'm watching."

tellomon · « **Reply #9507 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:44:09 PM »

Sherry once asked me "What are you doing?"

And I said "Nothing, What do you want? I won't do that either."

tellomon · « **Reply #9508 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:46:35 PM »

Sherry once said "What good are you?"

And I said "Good enuff to ignore that harsh, unprovoked comment."

tellomon · « **Reply #9509 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:51:06 PM »

Sherry once asked me "Do you think I'm stupid?"

And I said "Everybody is. Buy a one way ticket aboard The Crazy Train."

And she did. Got the Senior discount, and bought me a gift certificate to tag along.

tellomon · « **Reply #9510 on:** January 30, 2021, 10:54:07 PM »

Sherry once asked me "Why does smee call you numb nuts?"

And I said "Give them a feel, you decide.."

tellomon · « **Reply #9511 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:00:51 PM »

Sherry once asked me "Who is Contessa?"

And I said " A failed internet Troll. Now she's the OZRT ADMIN and won't post, pink it up, or share recipes for disaster.

Upper Crust, tender and flakey"

tellomon · « **Reply #9512 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:11:21 PM »

Sherry once asked me "How do you get away with this shite?"

And I said "With what? It's the Internet...everybody is interested but nobody cares."

tellomon · « **Reply #9513 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:15:23 PM »

Sherry once asked me "What is your Hit Counter about?"

And I said " A scientific measurement of idiots who read this shite."

tellomon · « **Reply #9514 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:16:52 PM »

Oh LOOK! Here they are now!
1080002 Views

tellomon · « **Reply #9515 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:19:50 PM »

And the Shites keep on coming.....!

tellomon · « **Reply #9516 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:53:04 PM »

When the number hits 2 Million, I will expect an award
and a Ceremonial Sacrificial Aboriginal Virgin.

It's not like there's a shortage of them, right?

Say?

anybody?

tellomon · « **Reply #9517 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:57:54 PM »

How about a Shape-Shifting Lycanthrope?

Got any of those?

tellomon · « **Reply #9518 on:** January 30, 2021, 11:58:55 PM »

How about a candy?

tellomon · « **Reply #9519 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:00:14 AM »

I'll take a hostile greeting card.....not picky much anymore.

*smee* · « **Reply #9520 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:01:35 AM »

You can have a small bag of Albatross jerky

tellomon · « **Reply #9521 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:06:14 AM »

I'll accept that!

How about that Tessa guest appearance stunt, huh?

Major News in my world!

I'm all F@ckered up about it. I can't contain myself. I'm losing it, still....

No ambiguity. No Love, no Hate, just all Tessa all the time.

I gotta mop up. BRB.

tellomon · « **Reply #9522 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:18:22 AM »

Ok I'm good.

Now, about that hot, fast and savage Aboriginal Leg?

What ya got for me?

And DON'T give me the worms.

*smee* · « **Reply #9523 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:18:42 AM »

Its not really Abatross.....
Oh and its not really jerky ...

Its dried Clayton the moose turd , atificially albatross flavoured

But im sure you will aquire the taste for it

tellomon · « **Reply #9524 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:25:07 AM »

Ok fine.
Can I get an Aboriginal pussy chaser?

Remember: ~~Spirits~~ Expectations High, Standards low.

tellomon · « **Reply #9525 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:45:25 AM »

Remember that post where I said "This ain't easy"?

Yes, well, please, I wish to amend that decree by saying
"This is not PROPER and I know it".

If only my Mother could ~~see~~ hate me now!

tellomon · « **Reply #9526 on:** January 31, 2021, 12:49:13 AM »

Bev wazzint my Bio Mom ya know?
She was The Gate Keeper
and I was her prisoner.
Ask Ricky, he'll back me up on this one!

https://www.facebook.com/rick.culley.1

tellomon · « **Reply #9527 on:** January 31, 2021, 01:35:59 AM »

Rick Culley
January 23 at 9:33 PM ·
Just learned that the second person I know has died of covid in 5 days. Put your political BS aside, put down your pride and do everything you can to prevent the spread of this disease. Not because someone told you to, but because you care about the welfare of others. Screw governors, presidents, mayors, (fill in the blank.). Think of preventing the suffering of others. It’s your choice,

Joseph Doucette III
Sorry

Ron Tello Culley
Uncle Ronnie says: What else is on in The Universe? Gotta be something better than this world. And this is why God comes in handy. My Tool Box is full. AJ Winkler is proud of us! Bro ON!

tellomon · « **Reply #9528 on:** January 31, 2021, 01:42:18 AM »

All we ever did was good.

tellomon · « **Reply #9529 on:** January 31, 2021, 01:44:34 AM »

Except for that one time when your old lady called the cops on me for parking and crashing out in my VW MicroBus, unexpectedly, and without prior warning, in your front yard.

That was special.

tellomon · « **Reply #9530 on:** January 31, 2021, 01:50:45 AM »

Quote

"Except for that one time when your old lady...."

It's MORE than enuff to make any man's gonads run for the hills.

You imagine it; I live it, man.....

tellomon · « **Reply #9531 on:** January 31, 2021, 01:55:38 AM »

I love you Ricky.
I hate where we came from.

Ask around, Grandma said so, too.

tellomon · « **Reply #9532 on:** January 31, 2021, 01:58:23 AM »

Ever get a street named after you?

Gonda did.

Me GrandMum.

How ~~COOL~~ Antique is that?!

tellomon · « **Reply #9533 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:06:59 AM »

EVERYTHING is a Family Issue.
A Woman's Issue.
A Left and Rights Issue.
A Tissue Issue.

It's all about everybody wants everything everynow.

Well just for once can't it all be about me again?

tellomon · « **Reply #9534 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:10:25 AM »

Wait!
Is it "Once"
or "Again"?

You can't have it both ways.

AND WHY NOT?

This is The Tello Files.

We deliver

and then we pants you for mouthing off...

tellomon · « **Reply #9535 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:26:45 AM »

Who are those guys in history,,,,the artists philostofers geniuses smart guys who made a diff in the world,,,math and stars guys those guys...giants in the industry,

Yeah some of those bright bulbs dimmed themselves out.

Just like poof in slo mo.

im doing that.

sinful? you bet!

what comes after that?

I forgot.

No regerts

This planet will self destruct in 10 years ya f.cking drunks!!!!!

tellomon · « **Reply #9536 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:36:43 AM »

You go ahead.
I'll catch the next elevator.

Or the last train to Clarksville.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+monkees+last+train+to+clarksville&view=detail&mid=9154D9A66B2035E171409154D9A66B2035E17140&FORM=VIRE0&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dthe%2bmonkees%2blast%2btrain%2bto%2bclarksville%26form%3dANSPH1%26refig%3d725aea9ead7846a6b0b0f08c6dc5dcb9%26mkt%3den-us%26sp%3d3%26qs%3dRI%26pq%3dmonkees%252Ftrain%2bto%26sk%3dPRES1SC2%26sc%3d6-16%26cvid%3d725aea9ead7846a6b0b0f08c6dc5dcb9

tellomon · « **Reply #9537 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:43:05 AM »

Now I think people are watching me.

Here online.

Not in The Trailer Park.

tellomon · « **Reply #9538 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:45:03 AM »

That Hit Counter thing...

this can't be real this can't be real this can't be real

-A Rob Zombie Film

tellomon · « **Reply #9539 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:49:16 AM »

My foremost fear: the family dining table.

It's always uptight.

I need to shite as I eat,
it's that bad...

tellomon · « **Reply #9540 on:** January 31, 2021, 02:57:42 AM »

It wouldn't be so bad if everybody would not talk.

Or wear the gravy.

Spilling is no problem.

Clean up is always a fuss.

Can I just take a plate to my room?
Or to the end of the Pismo Beach Pier?

tellomon · « **Reply #9541 on:** January 31, 2021, 03:06:24 AM »

I don't hate Family.
I disagree with the people in them.
I have 2.

The Culley Homestead
and the
Richey Dynasty.

Both not worth their weight in gold plating.

Silly Human Race.
Yours is no disgrace.

I blame the Nixon Administration.

tellomon · « **Reply #9542 on:** January 31, 2021, 03:19:06 AM »

Oh joy! The Day After Tomorrow is on.
Kinda makes ya wonder, eh?

tellomon · « **Reply #9543 on:** January 31, 2021, 03:28:36 AM »

Crazy.

https://www.google.com/maps/dir/Montello,+NV/41.267929,-114.870404/@41.2627025,-114.1928047,79m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m34!4m33!1m30!1m1!1s0x80a9568ae374bd65:0x15a4809ecc008b6b!2m2!1d-114.1941831!2d41.2613129!3m4!1m2!1d-114.1940754!2d41.2615078!3s0x80a9568ae15cbd03:0x16a1032dee3f6c3a!3m4!1m2!1d-114.1947105!2d41.2611622!3s0x80a9568ae15cbd03:0x16a1032dee3f6c3b!3m4!1m2!1d-114.3361445!2d41.2621324!3s0x80a95018446e5eb1:0xb9346ba202e56afa!3m4!1m2!1d-114.4569233!2d41.2809564!3s0x80a9464728451ebd:0xf14dca5809ceb6da!3m4!1m2!1d-114.845255!2d41.2794168!3s0x80a9210e755b7fa5:0xa73038d7aadce5ef!1m0!3e1

tellomon · « **Reply #9544 on:** January 31, 2021, 03:35:28 AM »

Saddle Sore Saloon
Montello, Nevada

Ron Tello Culley
Who is in charge here?

Ron Tello Culley
I think the joint really took a dive when they
cancelled Bingo cuz all the members died.

Ron Tello Culley
Seriously, who is behind all of this? Troy?

Ron Tello Culley
Is it really about family? Only if they wear spurs.

tellomon · « **Reply #9545 on:** January 31, 2021, 03:47:54 AM »

How come there's more snow on my shed than on the house roof?

Ron Tello Culley
Author
It's a weird science thing, right?

Al Coholic
Maybe snow hates you and is taking it out on your shed and b/c you don't live in the house it is of minor consequence.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Don't re-apply for your Day Job.
Stay put. Go ka-put.

Gibby Rodriquez
Ron Tello Culley your shed conducts heat/cold.
Your home is constantly releasing heat through the roof from inside.
Snow melts on roof top of homes that are occupied.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
See? weird science, thx!

tellomon · « **Reply #9546 on:** January 31, 2021, 04:14:56 AM »

Well then, now that Tessa is gone
I'm lonely again.

3 2 1 ok I'm over it now.

tellomon · « **Reply #9547 on:** January 31, 2021, 04:19:09 AM »

Tessa?

tellomon · « **Reply #9548 on:** January 31, 2021, 04:27:00 AM »

So it seems that my true destiny in life is to be a
righteous piece of Trailer Park Trash.

That's half correct.
I live in the Trailer Park.
I manage the household trash.

Clarified now?

I am NOT done with Elko.

tellomon · « **Reply #9549 on:** January 31, 2021, 04:33:05 AM »

"Yeah, that science stuff, man...it will felafel you up so you won't know how to think..."

News:

Author Topic: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?) (Read 4244380 times)