Author Topic: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)  (Read 1073145 times)

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
I can't say anything now, I just woke up/

Who are we?


Im sooo f@cked up I cant even snipe. Take it!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
Its about time you woke up to yourself

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Naa...my TV still works.

What shows do you like? Or remember?
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Anything like "The Steve Irwin Murder Mystery Files"?

Or "The Prison Planet Diaries"?

Or "The Queen's Toy Box"?

Or " smee J and The Drop Bear"?

Or " Perth Girls Gone Mild"?
( I hear it's a Dating Show, yeah? Huckstering Librarians to the lowest bidder?)

Love the BBC!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
I hear there's a new show coming up.

" The Deadliest Recycling Show on a leaky boat ".

Filmed in its entirety in India.

It checks out...


Hollywood insiders have slipped a rumor that Fox Mulder will make a Cameo Appearance in the Pilot Episode.

Well THAT should be a hoot!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
And Scully may have a 6 part mini series in the works, working title:
"The Carpet Does Match the Drapes ".


Only on PaPer View.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
I hear there's a new show coming up.

" The Deadliest Recycling Show on a leaky boat ".

Filmed in its entirety in India.

It checks out...


Hollywood insiders have slipped a rumor that Fox Mulder will make a Cameo Appearance in the Pilot Episode.

Well THAT should be a hoot!


Its been cancelled , the boat crew were caught hiding bourbon under their turban   

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
AND IN OTHER NEWS....

Your world sucks, and yer taking mine down with you.

But not without a discussion.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Quote
Its been cancelled , the boat crew were caught hiding bourbons under their turbans   

It figures....

It seems like a valid concept, but so was Viet Nam TV, everyday at the Dinner Hour.
Pork Chops, Garden Salad and Genocide.

Ya hadda be there, with a lifetime subscription to MAD Magazine.

Good Prose, that one smee!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
So, are you down with carpet and drapes?
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
Ive never been down on Scully

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
See auto correct again

That was Ive never been Dana Scully


tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Um, smee can I see you in my Office please?   :troll2:
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Look, Ratings are Off The Charts.
We can't monetize this joint
and Fan Mail duzzint happen..

WE HAVE GOT TO LOWER OUR STANDARDS
in order to compete with eBaymazon and Ned.

We'll have a writer's block meeting next week.

Have a nice binge now...
Go home and be with your mutants.
I'll hold off mine as long as I can.

Good thing I have booze.
I can set fire to any Zed b@zturd who breaks my perimeter!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
I'm saving my Petrol for cocktails on my Birthday.

And Outlaw Street Racing!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
Well thats better than saving your cock for petroltails

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
You know what is funny and not?
The Gov. thinks this shite is true.

They won't knock down my door cuz they know I just painted it last July.
It's oil-based paint.

It'll never wash out.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Well thats better than saving your cock for petroltails

Tempting, thx for the recipe on another disaster!!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Standards.

Drop them now!

Like as IF Admin is a factor here.

They're the reason I exist here.

Your story has yet to be published, but thx for trailing along for 11 years,
some with Yibs, and then most without.

Yea, we men do the best we can and it's never good enuff.
That's why I quit The Human Race.
Now I hang out with Net Rats (not their real name!)
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
The big price when scofflaws don’t enforce the law


https://www.pe.com/2021/01/01/the-big-price-when-scofflaws-dont-enforce-the-law/?fbclid=IwAR0Vv36lBy1T-fPXDtwONbPP3JaF76oywOIbx0uI_SeJT-u2ngfnvzbk6ck


Fonda Woodruff
They swore an oath and these lockdowns go against everything it stands for including but not limited to the constitution. If anything these agencies are what very little integrity there is left in this state . Good for them.

Bruce Risher
I hope Sheriff Bianco runs for governor. I would even campaign for him.

Brian Matthews
And press enterprise is what?

Tracee Auville-Parks
Fired.

Rich Sonsteng
These edicts from gov neuciance are not laws. To say that these patriot sheriffs do not enforce laws is not accurate. The supreme law of the land is the Constitution. They are in fact enforcing that.

Don Clement
Rich Sonsteng That's why the hospitals are so full.

Chanah Melamed
"give me restaurants or give me death!"
Covid-19: "as you wish..."

Adrienne Dever
Look it up for yourself on the San Bernardino county coronavirus dashboard. If you get it you have a 99.24% survival rate.

Greg Bloomfield
Are the statistics wrong?
Do people die and hospitals convulse with icu patients where the scoffs rule? Are lives spared where adherence to simple health practice prevails?
Is up to each of us to decide what is best for people, speeding, littering, putting false information on food packaging and signs where toxins are present? ...Pick a topic.

Ron Tello Culley
Pick a Lane, and BURN RUBBER!!!
!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
https://www.facebook.com/catherine.odonnell.969/videos/10221227849159385


Ron Tello Culley
Proof positive that cats are smarter. How so? They stayed out of this vid, dint they?

Doggy Darwinism in progress, LOL!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
The Time Stamp duzzint matter. This shite has been going on since 40,000 BC.
A dog is a dog, and cats don't care.

Especially this cat!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
We never did give it a name.
Afraid to speak of it lest it killed our Livestock!
And flatten my new Radial Tires.

Under these circumstances,
I am waiving a Dental Records request.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
Are you sure its a cat?

Have you had a catscan done?

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
We could have ourselves a CATastrophe here

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
Yes thats what weve got a cat-ass-trophy


tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
LOL smee. Now hear this ya pussy lover....:

True story as I remember it.

Family scene, preggy dog pops out a herd.

Fam names them all except The Runt.

2 days later The Runt died,
and the Fam named it
" GONNER ".


Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
In this Battlefield of Life, am I a Wounded Warrior too?

Prolly not.

I can still walk, but I don't want to.

I'm getting my Scooter going after the snow f@cks off.

Ya cant get mini bike snow chains, so forget about them!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
Whats this then ?

A ham and salad sammich?


tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
But then again,
if I can get the County to pave my roads with cats, I might make it to the Post Office!
And then a 12 Pack to go from Easy's.

You know I have more cash than their ATM?

Makes me wonder....
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Whats this then ?

A ham and salad sammich?



Visuals are not reliable traffic safety junk.

I designed that pic.

Go ahead, RIDE!

Yule be sorry you did.

See, the secret to sucess here:

OUTRIGGERS!

Build some!


Simply 2 flanking big ass kickstands in the permanent DOWN position.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Jeez man! I craned my Truck while wearing 4x4 chains and I'm gonna Scooter on Ice?

Not in my Circus!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
Or convert the scooter like this ...I call it the Pistorius



tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
I do like that scooter's Fire Engine Red Paint Job!

It screams " Look out Townies, I'm riding into town without a license!

Put it on my tab... "


Now let me address the "smee-mobile" problem.

It's SHOPPED.
If it is real Idda seen it on the TV Channel, and I love you and your sordid best efforts at humor here.

Yer not a sock.

Look out or u can prolly become a wet snowboot.

Go inside.
Set your furniture ablaze and stay warm.
Oh WAIT! It's Summer there, huh?

Hold off on the arson.
Go soak yer head in a Crock pot/swamp.
And notify Admin of a Change of Address.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

*smee*

  • Action Group
  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 44136
I was gonna send you one for Christmas with the skel drummer shirt ...but you dissed me

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Yeah yer right. what's yer point?
smee mad - no shirt for me.

This is Great Production Value here!


Dont you ever watch the TV Channel?

Its informative and decadent!

My fave animated show is "Square Bob Sponge Felon".


He likes bathing suits without girls. It's a Europeein Production.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Are you sharing this crap with any other mutants
or are we talking to our own socks?

Mine are buried in snowboots right now so leave a message and they'll get back to you!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Speaking of wetness....

Juicy STATS on ice!



1065780 Views
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .


tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Admin.
Love 'em.
Hate 'em.

Cant find 'em.

Suss.

I aint no dummy,
I just play one on the Internet,
after I gave up Drumming,
Long Hair
and
sobriety.

I still have Nevada in my To Doo notes.

Do you need to borrow some money?


:smee!: " Holy shite now he's a Loan Shark!  Well he did mandate a lowering of our house standards.
Good start! "


:tello: " Oh it get better! All transactions will be USD or forget it. I got a tech problem. I can't see the fine print! "
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Tello's World Report:

Stockpiling Toilet Paper will not
save your shorts
in a
personal
crisis.

Stockpile shorts!


www.shittyshortsprotectionagency.gov/store
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
You watch, and never see.
smee is gonna max out his credit card on THIS one!


See, I won't ever have this problem cuz I sleep in a Bleach Bath.

Keeping it warm is an issue, but the health benefits are promising.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
STUPID ALERT!

What's more stupid?

Motor Scooters,
or the people who claim to know something about them?

I once had a major laundry problem.
Big Karen rudely mistaken my long-sleeve Scooterist T-shirt for her
Hardly-Davidson thong.

The DA refused to press charges.

The Trailer Park was never the same again.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Big Karen is the DA's sister, and wife.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
4th Generation Elko brats, they evolved from the Stockyards and migrated into Public Office and car dealerships.

Beware of the voters!

They WILL be on your Jury.

I got their number!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
I'm tellin' ya that
Blonde Juror #13 was total Spank Bait!

She prolly voted for the Death Penalty.

I walked, remember?
But not far.

I'm not out of America, yet.
And Oz izzint looking so well, either.

Just can't go anywhere.

SHELTER IN PLACE
and eat Snacky Smores!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Or we can all just
eat shite
and
die!

What's the diff?

SEASONINGS!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Got a long way to go to
hit Standards Rock Bottom.

Give us a minnit will ya?

This aint easy!

Maybe it is
and you are difficult!

I think about that all the time.
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
Spammers, Flamers, Haters and Trolls.

smee.

Ya gotta watch out for those jokers.

Especially former eBay Forum wonks.
Smarter than a dead cat, equipped with an itchy PINK SLAP trigger finger.

Both are LAME!

This is the Internet.

Good luck with that, ya'll!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .

tellomon

  • Knight of the RT
  • *****
  • Posts: 32138
  • If Oz was a Truckstop, I'd pee there.
    • facebook
So go buy something online.

Eat it
wear it
ride it
smoke it
or insert it.

It's a buyer's market!
Bad Flash Zombies :flasher: :zombieguy:  .    No  :lblb: .