Author Topic: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)  (Read 2525624 times)

tellomon

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Michelle Morlett Navickas is looking for recommendations.
Anyone know where to find women’s lined leggings or jeans?

Karin Rau
Walmart

Matty Smith
Jane Green

Anima Bella
Jane green has em

Brenda Kulp Wittenberg
I'm no help because I'm going to make my own so that they'll be long enough.

Allison Pilegard Drovandi
Del Lagos boutique has them

Ron Tello Culley
Anyone know where I can find women in lined leggings or jeans?
   :lol:
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tellomon

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goddamn if those melons get any bigger, the Earth will spin off its axis!
Guns, booze and jeans will become irrelevant.
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tellomon

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.
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tellomon

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Is so...
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tellomon

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Canadian exceptions apply....
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tellomon

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Ron Tello Culley
Shared with Public
Name this pic.

Diane Franssen
Tennis target

Ron Tello Culley
Spoiler Alert ! Tobey knows too much and can give it away without prior notice or restraint.

Dennis Pruitt
Dude, I remember,and I remember that T-shirt...best of all were the morning announcements delivered by REMO RON

Ron Tello Culley
Yeah, wuzzint that something?

Dennis Pruitt
Ron Tello Culley ...Totally cool my Brother

Col. Darryl Harrelson
Ron Tello Culley Remo Ron at Arroyo !

Ron Tello Culley
Col. Darryl Harrelson DING DING DOnG.....
Off the Record "Aww nice going you @zzhole ya just gave it away!" end quote. Hippy Holidays! Thx again for the web cam!

Jake Robbins
Apparently you were a teen in 1970s So Cal. Your story checks out. I had you confused with someone else.

Ron Tello Culley
Likely story....ya youngster.
btw, how did u check me out? I mean, who are your sources.....the Internet? hmmmm....

Jake Robbins
I did the math. The last forty years have not been kind, so naturally I assumed you were 70, not 60, and had changed your identity as the recluse secretly surviving John Bonham.

Ron Tello Culley
That's DEEP! Sell the story and cut me 20% of the Net.
yer good....at math.

Ron Tello Culley
Jake Robbins Jam? Bring it to Big Bear and meet my peanut butter. We can get bread at the food bank. Good Times!

Jake Robbins
Excellent drummer though!

Ron Tello Culley
Ya think?
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=led+zeppelin+rock+and+roll+1974&view=detail&mid=905A5920E40779BDCC45905A5920E40779BDCC45&FORM=VIRE0&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dled%2bzeppelin%2brock%2band%2broll%2b1974%26form%3dANNTH1%26refig%3d295547917bc3479eb012f54955776aef%26sp%3d-1%26pq%3dled%2bzeppelin%2brock%2band%2broll%2b1974%26sc%3d3-31%26qs%3dn%26sk%3d%26cvid%3d295547917bc3479eb012f54955776aef
led zeppelin rock and roll 1974 - Bing


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tellomon

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1 more go before I burnout this early morning 2:50+ AM PST USA

:tello: "Awww Jeeez! Did I misplace my shotgun again? Lemme look around...... "
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tellomon

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goddamn if those melons get any bigger, the Earth will spin off its axis!
Guns, booze and jeans will become irrelevant.
I really do want my heater returned...grrlfrenn.
No hurry, I know the parking lot can be problematic but that's no good reason to shoot parked cars n trucks. Especially Trucks. One of them is mine!
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tellomon

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And then there's this:
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tellomon

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TPOT is superior Zed flick, right up there with a Rob Zombie piece entitled The Devil's Rejects. Both flicks share Lew Temple. And the list goes on, but not here and/or now. Horror Flicks do not breed Cults. No. People breed CULTure ! And as the Human Creatures we have become ( and prolly regret--I do! ) I say to you that this is a good-a time as any to tell it as it seems: Here goes....
[ FILL IN THE BLANK ]

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tellomon

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OH look! Family reunion! And Ricky has some good dope!
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tellomon

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I have always been fascinated on how Humans are, and can be, and brilliantly work together to do stuff like this !!!
It compels me to fix my mini-bike, smoke a shiteload of weed, get drunk as felafel and ride thru the Sugarloaf Mobile Home Estates, before the next snowfall or Christmas, whichever comes first. And get it all on TV!


There are NO snow chains for mini-bikes. Please make a note of it.


Heads up, eh! Avoid the indoors liquor and BBQ cheeseburger parties.
Just Jump the Cheeseburger, Randy!

felafel off Lahey!

AND felafel YOU, Conky !!! Get out of the car.
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tellomon

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The Clown Face...shades of SNL's Mr. Bill! Totally. Yet Generic. Even Killer Klowns die, in the sequel.
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tellomon

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-----------------------------------so easy even a caveman can do it------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- :duckling:
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Youve done your dash now

tellomon

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Yeah Bud I'm done!
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tellomon

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HISTORY OF JERKY

"Ch'arki", a name derived from the Quechuan language of the Incas (which literally translates into "dried meat"), later evolved into what we now call jerky. The discovery of Jerky allowed humans to both store food for long periods of time and have an easily carried, dense source of nutrition to take with them on journeys. Jerky is both flavorful and compact and almost any meat can be made into jerky. Some say Native Americans made the first jerky (buffalo jerky) thousands of years ago, while others say an ancient Inca tribe called the Quechua made jerky as early as the 1500's. Whatever the case, this time-tested recipe has been passed from generation to generation.

When the first Europeans arrived in the New World, they found that the Natives were making a dried meat product that did not need to be consumed immediately and they instantly knew that jerky would be beneficial to them. What the Native American tribes called "pemmican" was jerky meat added to either crushed dried fruit or animal fat. The Native Americans taught the settlers how to cut and prepare the meat into long strips and later shared with them the entire jerky-making process and some variations of seasonings to make different recipes. With this newfound knowledge and time-tested recipe, the European pioneers found themselves cooking and consuming jerky more than ever before; it was absolutely the snack of choice.

Jerky reached its height of popularity during the expansion into North America, where traders and explorers prized it as an essential source of nutrition as they traveled to new areas with limited accessibility to fresh food and supplies along the way. The fact that meat could be hunted anywhere along the trails that the settlers were following to the West made this method of preparing meat an extremely valuable skill. This was also the introduction of other jerky meat types such as turkey, goose, and other wild game. As the industrial age in America approached many companies saw the potential of producing jerky products in large quantities for mass consumption. Today millions of people around the world now enjoy jerky products. Join the bandwagon and enjoy the world's healthiest and best-tasting snack!


https://www.jerky.com/pages/history-of-jerky

https://www.jerky.com/pages/jerky-glossary
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Are you sure it wasnt invented by Bill Tong

tellomon

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Yeah they got that!
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tellomon

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How's this for morbid and not politically correct:

Donner
Party
Jerky
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Better than a Jerky off party

tellomon

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Or a total Sausage Fest. ( There's no girls at the party )  :notworking:
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 That could cause a few snags

tellomon

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Plenty of other puddle parties in the street. Slicker up and jump!
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tellomon

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tellomon

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Big Bear Mountain Resort
Yesterday at 8:53 AM  ·
🚨 Update 🚨 • Our first Night Session is this Saturday 12/5 🙌 • Full day tickets for 12/5 are now sold out • Half Day and Night Session tickets are still available • Plan ahead for future dates and purchase your lift tickets in advance to secure your spot on the mountain • More terrain opening this weekend so stay tuned for updates • #SummitStyle • #SnowSummit

Carol Pettyjohn
Thanks Dee! Even though I don't ski!

Rachelle Mckean Barbato
Wow so it’s all about the $$$ leave the mountain open and close the zoo? It’s outside.

Carol Pettyjohn
On another note, if any of our Locals men and women are looking for a good paying permanent Job our Mountain Transit System is hiring. They pay more than most jobs on the Mountain and have Benefits too. All you do is apply and if you qualify they will train you. They're great to work for. The office is on Fox Farm before you come to the big parking lot!

Ron Tello Culley
It's a great gig for young people. I couldn;t make it as a Bus Driver. Not that my drinking was a problem (Maximum Overdrive), it was a potty issue, you understand....
lol, work-related humor

Andy Trainor
I miss that mountain. Last time I set foot there was March 8, 2012.

Ron Tello Culley
Yeah but...I hear Big Bear will be going on full lockdown soon. What's the story about that?

Dee Levey
Ron Tello Culley not that I know of

Ron Tello Culley
no news = good news. go with it ya'll.

Wendy Clouser
Ron Tello Culley ski resorts in exempt clause of that

Ron Tello Culley
Yep, I get the gist of all that White Collar crime...
Dontcha think maybe they could be dismissed?
Cheers!


:tello: " Yeah, that IS a veiled call to Revolution! "
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The skiing business is going downhill

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and white water rafting is rapidly heading in that direction

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Ice hockey is pucked!

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Baseball is on the home run

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Basketball is dribbling to a halt

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Clay pidgeon shooting is about to get pulled

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Tiddley winks is getting the flick

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People are taking their chess pieces to pawn brokers

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Pin the tail on the donkey has been given the ass

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Drop the hanky is snot happening any more

tellomon

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Damn!
Either yer good at yer craft, or
yer a Loon.

Love ya M8!
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tellomon

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Attention World Travelers!
Come to California and read this, translate it to me!

https://www.courts.ca.gov/44660.htm?fbclid=IwAR1YS_0L8lC0cH0rmrt92ICS44qndH1qxN1dwGBgVBHgczKFEF-z0odS8-8


:tello: " Brave the New World odor! "

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tellomon

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Gregory Puente
Went to Arroyo High School
You're now friends on Facebook

Hey brother good to have you on man.. I feel like we're family REMO RON.. .. Cedar circle El Monte I lived there from 1963 until 1978...😊🙏🏼😬🇺🇸🍷

Ron Tello Culley
Yeah all that, my memory is good for the Circle. This is wild, good to be....alive!

So when ya got time, checkout a little light reading. It's a chat board and there's only 2 survivors so I own the joint.

It beats Clubbing the Clown Circuit cuz I don't need to drive.


http://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=510.7150
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tellomon

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Dear Black Bag Confidential Reader,

In this week's mailbag I'll discuss...

How to safely use a jetpack...

Should you create a gun trust?...

Escaping heavy-duty zip ties...

How to ensure you never waste precious seconds in a gunfight...

Legal self-defense with a tactical pen...

Carrying a tactical flashlight instead of a gun...

Packing milk chocolate stockpiles in your crotch.

Let's dive in...
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tellomon

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Ron Tello Culley
March 25, 2010  ·
Omer of Topanga, circa 1986

Sunny Sheldrake
Nice look

André L. Paré
Hey Man,
Where’s the Wolf Zendik shite?
I still have some of your copies of fag hag magazine and some other plagiarized shite from R. Crumb…You still keeping a morgue?

Ron Tello Culley
Nope. Out of service. The only thing I keep is Time and beverages.

Richard Lotshaw
good man!

Ron Tello Culley
Yer better than me. GO Bobcat!!!!
See Rich....back in The Day when you were "All That", at the same time I was Just This: Omer of Topanga. Just as famous as Tello except without a million dollars USD. And no Drums. Weedwhackers and Chainsaws and Open Mic Night at the Topanga Bar and Grill. What a crime scene!. The Town Council shouldda went to jail for the shite I said in my stand-up comedy act.
Instead, I finished my drink and went to Nevada.
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tellomon

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Continuing item:

Ron Tello Culley
Yep, I get the gist of all that White Collar crime...
Dontcha think maybe they could be dismissed?
Cheers!

Katey Ryerson
Dee Levey yes. Per Frank rush update probably Monday. Are icu capacity is over 85% he stated that all businesses will have to comply. But u can still snowboard but Restaurants will be togo and retail 20 percent for 3 weeks

Ron Tello Culley
3 weeks? Stockpile duct tape, people. We're gonna need all the help we can get to hold this shite together!

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tellomon

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Renee Therese
Only if it comes with a socially distanced hug from one of my favorite boys in blue 😘

Ron Tello Culley
I'm staying out of this one.
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tellomon

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This is REALLY sad.

Children in need.

In "The greatest Nation in the world"??

Pathetic.

In my quest to illustrate this dynamic, I did not find one of my fave George Carlin riffs where he said "felafel the kids, what about me?"

Well, let it ride and take off on this Carlin item all the same.... "Fear of Germs"

It's ON topic. And SPOOKY!
_______________________

What we have now is a completely neurotic population obsessed with security and safety and crime and drugs and cleanliness and hygiene and germs... there’s another thing... germs.

Where did this sudden fear of germs come from in this country? Have you noticed this? The media, constantly running stories about all the latest infections – salmonella, e-coli, hanta virus, bird flu – and Americans, they panic easily so now everybody’s running around, scrubbing this and spraying that and overcooking their food and repeatedly washing their hands, trying to avoid all contact with germs.

It’s ridiculous and it goes to ridiculous lengths.

In prisons, before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol! It’s true! Yeah! Well, they don’t want you to get an infection! And you could see their point; wouldn’t want some guy to go to hell and be sick! It would take a lot of the sportsmanship out of the whole execution.

Fear of germs...
 why these felafeling pussies! You can’t even get a decent hamburger anymore! They cook the shite out of everything now cause everybody’s afraid of food poisoning! Hey, where’s your sense of adventure? Take a felafeling chance will you? You know how many people die in this country from food poisoning every year? 9000... that’s all; it’s a minor risk! Take a felafeling chance... bunch of goddamn pussies!

Besides, what do you think you have an immune system for? It’s for killing germs! But it needs practice... it needs germs to practice on. So listen! If you kill all the germs around you, and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you’re not gonna be prepared.

And never mind ordinary germs, what are you gonna do when some super virus comes along that turns your vital organs into liquid shite? I’ll tell you what you’re gonna do... you’re gonna get sick, you’re gonna die, and you’re gonna deserve it cause you’re felafeling weak and you got a felafeling weak immune system!

Let me tell you a true story about immunization okay?

When I was a little boy in New York City in the 1940s, we swam in the Hudson River and it was filled with raw sewage okay?
We swam in raw sewage!
You know... to cool off!
And at that time, the big fear was polio; thousands of kids died from polio every year but you know something? In my neighbourhood, no one ever got polio! No one! Ever!

You know why?

Cause we swam in raw sewage! It strengthened our immune systems! The polio never had a prayer; we were tempered in raw shite! So personally, I never take any special precautions against germs. I don’t shy away from people that sneeze and cough, I don’t wipe off the telephone, I don’t cover the toilet seat, and if I drop food on the floor, I pick it up and eat it!

Yes I do.

Even if I’m at a sidewalk café! In Calcutta! The poor section! On New Year’s morning during a soccer riot! And you know something? In spite of all that so-called risky behaviour, I never get infections, I don’t get them, I don’t get colds, I don’t get flu, I don’t get headaches, I don’t get upset stomach, you know why?

Cause I got a good strong immune system and it gets a lot of practice. My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic military assault rifles with night vision and laser scopes, and we have recently acquired phosphorous grenades, cluster bombs, and anti-personnel fragmentation mines.

So when my white blood cells are on patrol recon ordering my blood stream seeking out strangers and other undesirables, if they see any, ANY suspicious looking germs of any kind, they don’t felafel around!

They whip out their weapons; they wax the salt of the earth and deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon!

Into my colon!

There’s no nonsense, there’s no Miranda warning, there’s none of that “three strikes and you’re out” shite, first defense, BAM... into the colon you go! And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don’t automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom okay? Can you deal with that? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.

You know when I wash my hands? When I shite on them! That’s the only time. And you know how often that happens? Tops, TOPS, 2-3 times a week tops!

Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays, you know what I mean? And I’ll tell you something else my well-scrubbed friends... you don’t need to always need to shower every day, did you know that? It’s overkill, unless you work out or work outdoors, or for some reason come in intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage every day, you don’t always need to shower.

All you really need to do is to wash the four key areas; armpits, Butt region, crotch, and teeth.

Got that? Armpits, Butt region, crotch, and teeth. In fact, you can save yourself a whole lot of time if you simply use the same brush on all four areas!


-George Carlin, date unknown at this location.

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I didnt read all of that


tellomon

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Bottom line is KEEP SCRUBBING your naughty bits.
Save the world.
Save yourself.
Wait! Women and children first!

Sry dude.

Think or thwim.

The Titanic died for your sins.
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As long as I can have my daily live bat sandwich im happy

tellomon

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Eat Bat now, poo Bat later.

Seems like an easy task.

No worse than Roo Jerky!
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tellomon

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In retrospect, I'm sorry I created the illusion of you and Bat poo in the same sentence, zip code and you again.

I retract that comment.

Let's keep poo private, ok?
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tellomon

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Two poos walk into a Bar.....
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