BEHOLD - *assumes a godlike voice*
And on the day in which the children of the coins did come unto OzRT, they waxed strong and did set aside a tithe of their body bags as a sacrifice unto the angry god Cointumacious. And then cried out the children of the drums, saying, "Wherefore, lord, hast thou not cast this froward people into the pit?"
Then spake the forum god, saying, "Doth the fig tree bear Pluto Pups in winter? Or doth the leviathan floss its teeth with the elastic of worn-out underwear?"
The children of the drum replied, saying, "Nay."
Then answered the forum god, "So too is it with the coinees. Now go forth and pray."
And the children of the drum were chastened and did go forth to their salsa cymbals and kneel in the outer courts.