Do narcissists mentally abuse those they supposedly
love the most?
The reason why they are able to do this is because they have no empathy. A person who has no empathy is able to be cruel without having an effect on them or moving them emotionally. They lack the ability to understand and share your feelings. They lack the ability to share your experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in your situation. So they are able to cause pain and suffering to you without fear or any concern about it.
The narcissist can be so cruel, not only because they lack empathy, but also because they lack object constancy. They are stuck in the mentality of a child.
If you have been in a long-term relationship with a narcissist, you probably don't remember what it was like to be you. You probably haven't been yourself for a very long time. Your existence undergoes a process of transformation into doing everything that the narcissist needs, so that they don't get angry or upset. But it doesn't matter how much you change, it doesn't matter how much you erase yourself, it doesn't matter if you remove all traces of the person you used to be.
They will still get angry, they will still get upset. Because the truth is it has nothing to do with you. You don't exist to be an emotional regulator for someone who cannot emotionally regulate themselves. Remember the person who used to be. Remember the things you loved to do. Start being you again.
The narcissist might get mad, but they're going to be mad anyway. They're never going to like anything you do, so start being you again.
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Yes, but its not because they love you the most. They don't know what the feeling of love is. They don't have most in their love vocabulary be cause love does not exist for them. They go into a relationship as a fantasy that this person is the perfect one.
Their delusional expectations soon turn their feelings into a form of punishment. Because now the narcissist feels betrayed that thus person is challenging their manipulation, their words that don't show Action, their projection to blame. It does not matter if they are the most loved , because in the end they will be the most hated. .They can not build a relationship on trust. They can not nourish a relationship to stay healthy.
Love is everything a narcissist isn't. They may learn to love a person, but they will never feel the love to give it an act . To protect, to put then before oneself. They learned to control, to get what they need. They learned manipulation to feed their ego, to give them a sense of power over how one feels to cause fear, generate negative energy. So the narcissist can feel superior, to be the one who is important.
To take what they want and jump at circumstances that are better to advance his self worth. To build his arrogance and stoke his ego. He will mentally abuse anyone who will give him this power. Even those he hates from how they made him feel in the past. He will play them again, tell then what they want to hear , until they get angry. They cannot get their emotional needs met.
Then the narcissist trauma bond takes its affect. A narcissist is not able to love in a healthy way. They show their love by being in your life. They are the reason you exist in the first place. Without them you are not loved, you are someone else's trash. You are their newest game for mind flock. Good luck to escape.
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I would say yes. Who'll put up with that nonsense but someone who loves them. Remember most narcs are immature, not completely stupid. Some narcs know, if they try to behave or talk disrespectful to a stranger or even an associate, the response from them would be unpleasant. Maybe physical.
Therefore, unfortunately, the husband, the wife and the partner deal with the narcs displaced anger. Most of the time the narc is mad at someone else. But come home to you and abuse you. Such cowards, some narcs are. Once again the saying “he's so mad, he's going home and kick his dog” is true. My opinion.
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