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The Round Table / Re: The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)
« Last post by tellomon on January 18, 2024, 02:52:38 PM »Will a narcissist ever see that he is breaking your heart?
Absolutely, yes!
A narcissist is fully aware of the damage they’re causing but here’s the kicker; zero fs are given.
Not only do narcissists lack empathy, they also lack whole object relations. This skewed perception of you in the narcissist’s eyes as increasingly “all bad”, post love bomb, justifies their autrcious behaviour of you with galling entitlement.
Why do they abuse after all the energy, love, devotion and most likely financial investments you’ve made in the relationship? Two words; narcissistic supply.
Similar to a heroin addict or a raging alcoholic, their drugs of choice are substances. Like substance abusers, a narcissist’s tolerance for supply from a particular source increases as time passes. For a period of time, your supply was able to satiate the narcissist. For example, you showed commitment, loyalty, fidelity and invested in the narcissist’s façade while buying into their future faking “aspirations” to keep you hooked and supplying. As time passed and you attempted to settle into your routines, post love bombing as would anyone in a healthy relationship, not so with a narcissist. Their angst increases as they no longer get that same rush from your supply as they once did. As a result, devaluation sets in like a ominous black cloud suddenly darkening the skies of your relationship.
Regardless of your increasing and sometimes desperate attempts to rekindle the spark you once had with the narcissist, nothing seems to work. If anything, the depravity of the narcissist’s behaviour reaches depths which you thought were inconceivable. You’ll be gaslit, manipulated, humiliated, triangulated, smeared, given damaging silent treatments while the narcissist is serial cheating, hoping to find a fresh purveyor of the hit of supply they once got from you in the beginning. Your potency is waning and the narcissist knows this as they hurriedly try to find that next big hit of supply - a new lover hence the secret dating profiles and hookup apps.
The narcissist blames you, though no fault of your own for their lack of satisfaction despite the fact you gave them the sun and the moon. Since NPD is a “hit” based disorder, they’re impusively seeking the next big payload of supply - similar to an addict mainlining for a high.
A narcissist knows their behaviours are unconscionable which is why they go to great lengths to keep them hidden from you. They also derive gratification as they see you scramble in futility to recapture their heart, which was never there in the first place. They’ll cruelly breadcrumb you just to keep you in the game long enough as they audition alternate suitors. This is just more supply that they’ll gladly accept as your state of exasperation worsens. It enforces their belief that they’re highly desirable and omnipotent when you and others are vying for their attention.
A narcissist knows they are destroying you little by little, but again, they couldn’t give a ff since they're already lining up other supply options, chasing the next big hit. Once they’ve secured a new source of supply - your replacement, you’re discarded with hatred, vitriol and contempt.
Narcissist know they’re breaking your heart, but they could care less since it’s not about you but solely about them at your expense.