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The Round Table / Re: TelloVision ~~ "What I have seen and the way I see it".
« Last post by tellomon on October 21, 2024, 12:22:44 PM »Postponed for 24 hours. WTF?
News:
The OzRT (Oz Round Table) grew out of a now defunct eBay forum, but it is much more than that. We're a community of friendship, help, support, shared laughter, fantastic range of topics, and a strong sense of trust and integrity.
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The Round Table / Re: TelloVision ~~ "What I have seen and the way I see it".
« Last post by tellomon on October 21, 2024, 11:47:26 AM »
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 21, 2024, 10:19:17 AM »Page 36
3 Uncomfortable Signs You’re Headed in the Right Direction (Even If You Feel Abandoned and Alone)
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 21, 2024, 08:58:00 AM »25
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 21, 2024, 08:42:22 AM »Top 10 Brainwashing Techniques Narcissists Use to Trap You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oKBSJxK1as
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oKBSJxK1as
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 21, 2024, 08:31:01 AM »STOP WORRYING!! Why Chosen Ones Cannot be Around A Lot of People | C.S. Lewis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9IbSK2Cq5Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9IbSK2Cq5Y
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 21, 2024, 07:44:09 AM »Can someone be a narcissist and know it?
They know. They know exactly what they are doing.
They just don’t care.
They are not stupid. They are not people who just go and do without knowing. They know because they manipulate, and to manipulate you need to know what the goal is, and their goal is known to them.
Stop looking at narcissists like they are victims and feeling sorry for them.
They are devious, manipulators, liars and they do know exactly what they are doing and they love thinking they are superior, when they are weak.
They are DANGEROUS because they know what they are doing but pretend to you and even the therapist that they don’t know, and that the other person is crazy and just imagining it.
I fired 6 Narcissists because I didn’t look at them thinking “they don't know.” I knew they knew what they were doing and they were causing so many problems, that they were making some workers depressed and ill.
But I was 10 steps ahead, logged reports and then hit up with management to give them weekly feedback and that is how I was able to fire them.
I just waited for the time they blew up and they do.
They will give you hints, if you listen. Don’t think they don’t know what they are doing. They are doing it to see your reaction, what they can get away with, what buttons to press, and always planning, calculating their every move.
They are smart to some people but to people who know psychology, like myself and dealt with them, they are really stupid, vindicate, with grandiose opinion of themselves and some even on quora would admit that too and take pride in it, and call it confidence.
It’s not confidence.
It’s fear. They have very low self esteem, they can’t help but do what they do to feed their emotion by seeing you get rattled, and playing a game on and on.
Don’t lower your guard.
They know exactly what they are doing.
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 20, 2024, 04:04:38 PM »What Science Just Discovered About Narcissists Will Leave You Speechless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGMzTrc9s8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGMzTrc9s8
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 20, 2024, 03:57:10 PM »What are some things NOT to do when you are dumped by a narcissist?
DO NOT appear upset or distressed.
DO smile and show relief. “Oh thank goodness you feel this way, I thought it was just me who realized we are not compatible.”
DO NOT offer excuses, nor accept them from Narcy or yourself.
DO recognize bad and unacceptable behavior, and respond accordingly.
DO NOT believe people will change.
DO realize that actions are driven by the subconscious, and as a result, most people's behavioral patterns do not change without serious inner personal work. The “new supply” hardly qualifies in this arena. To believe otherwise is literally laughable. No one “changes” that quickly or for another person; it doesn't work the way he wants you to think it does. Change takes an abundance of time, serious work, dedication, and follow-through.
DO NOT be convinced that you are worthless. Someone else's failure to see and appreciate your worth does not lessen or decrease your true value.
DO NOT be deceived by appearances. You found out once that Narcy was not what he appears to be. That has not changed either. His appearances are completely fake, though he is a great actor. But the curtain falls on all acts eventually.
DO NOT neglect yourself. You've done that for too long already.
DO NOT rush out and try to jump into another relationship. Use this time to reflect and heal. Enjoy being single for a while. Chances are, you've always engaged in long-term relationships and never really enjoyed the freedom of being single for very long, if at all. (Most codependents are like this, though we do not realize it.) Because of this, you never learned to casually date; you only learned how to dive in with everything you are. It's time to learn how to test those waters before taking the plunge. Learn how to enjoy dating without wholly committing yourself to someone right away.
DO accept that bad things happen in life to good people. anatomical conundrums exist. Nothing changes that. Also accept that good things in life also happen to good people. Learn what you can from this experience, heal, and move on. One bad chapter is not the end of your story. The end of a bad chapter leads to the beginning of a great new one.
________________________________
Oh man, there's so many things.
Do NOT beg or plead its what they want.
Don't talk to mutual friends about your feelings and how hurt you are, you don't know who you can trust yet.
Don't argue, just walk away. They will push buttons and tug heartstrings for fuel.
Don't kinda block them, commit to no contact, it's for your own wellbeing, so stick to your guns.
Don't monitor their social media, they purposely plant triggering statements for you and others to respond to, it's a game.
Don't make time for them no matter how much they beg or how drastically outlandish their need is to contact you. Unless it's your children, family member, or fur baby.
Don't sit idle and twiddle your thumbs, educate yourself on how to deal with people on the narcissistic spectrum to protect yourself in the future.
Don't be fooled, if it sounds to good to be true, it is.
Stop beating yourself for being human and wanting to be loved and accepted. They fooled us, we didn't ask to have our heads messed with.
Don't EVER question your self worth again from the point no contact begins and onward.
Don't let yourself become toxic and bitter, educating yourself about why, what, and how can help you.
Do not compromise your own boundaries again. Build them up, reinforce them, and stick to them, they protect you. And you are the most important person in this. No more flimsy flip flopping when making a decision about a narc, make your no final, you only need to say it once.
Don't go back, no matter how much they beg. No matter how hard it is not to. They don't love you, but they will use your own feelings against you. Unless you're a drama queen, I've found that its better to be alone than in emotionally charged turmoil, I assure you.
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on October 20, 2024, 03:02:01 PM »Why is there an epidemic of narcissistic personality disorder today?
There’s an epidemic of cluster B disorder, including narcissistic personality disorder, for the same reason there is a national opiate pandemic. The problem has entered the consciousness of the public and has resonated throughout society because so many people are affected negatively by these issues.
The media has picked up on the great interest in these issues, including popular television programs like Doctor Phil and Oprah. It seems that everyone is talking about it and writers on Quora are no exception.
In such an atmosphere, there are bound to be some mistaken perceptions and individual cases of mistaken charges of narcissistic abuse. The reality is that in most cases, mistakes are relatively few and the charges are likely accurate.
Narcissism occurs often enough in the general population that the odds are good that the average person, whether they realize it or not, will have an encounter at some point in their lives with a narcissist.
Particularly common is the successful narcissistic politician, who manages to bamboozle voters. They may promise to change the lives of those who live on the margin and followers become rabid.
Vulnerable to the wily ways of amorous narcissists , are women with little or no experience with charming men who lie initially to gain the upper hand. Once the victim is hooked in, the narcissist lowers the boom and makes unreasonable demands, including demands for adulation.
Less attention has been paid to the problem of narcissistic women but they too represent a disproportion number of problems to society, nevertheless, their prevalence doesn’t seem to be as prevalent as male narcissists.
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Because the pathology of society is rooted within the confines of this type of thinking. Not to mention the ‘basic needs’ of human beings are often neglected. So in turn, this sort of ego manifests itself to protect itself and to usurp one anothers comforts. In favor of an external chaos to equate to the inner turmoil.
Some of it goes hand in hand with the drivel that is ‘accepted’ as a normalcy in present day society. The bar of inner value and validation is being removed in favor of an externally programmed sense of worth and gratification.
There is too much convenience (Ex: immediate gratification) and not enough realization of what it has taken for society to ‘function’ as it does.
______________________________
The epidemic is probably a combination of two things: One, it is more visible in the public’s awareness now, especially due to the internet and growing consciousness in general; Two, the frequency of narcissistic (and other cluster b) personality disorders is on the rise due to a culture and society that flagrantly rewards and encourages the traits of narcissistic personality disorder.
And as more and more people grow up at the hands of parents and other adults/role models/guardians who have toxic personality disorders, the epidemic spreads. Our culture discourages empathy; it discourages people from looking out for their neighbors or caring about others’ needs and feelings.
It teaches us to exalt our egos and betray our deeper self. It celebrates violence and dominating behavior. It degrades gentle, kind behavior as “weak.” This cultural environment sets the stage for children to develop toxic personality disorders, by teaching them to devalue empathy and compassion, and teaching them that there is nothing more important in the world than seeking power/dominance (ego-exaltation) at any cost, no matter how inhumane the means. This culture hero-worships sociopathic and NPD predators.
Predators and bullies are glamorized in the media. The entire mainstream culture has become a shrine to narcissistic and cluster-b personality disorder.
Every child born has a choice. We are all born with an innate moral compass. We all know right from wrong. But it takes personal strength and commitment to cultivate empathy and compassion, and do the right thing, despite being born into a family and/or society that has lost its way. Each day we must dare to choose our deep self over our egos, and that is not easy or glamorous. It’s the spiritual equivalent of choosing broccoli over a cupcake.
The odds are stacked against the weak-minded and weak-willed, to a degree that was not nearly as intense in previous generations. Luckily, public awareness about narcissistic (and cluster-B) personality disorder is growing, so there is increasingly education about it, and increasing consciousness. This growing shift will help both the innocent victims who are vulnerable to such predators, but will also help at-risk children not to develop Narcissistic (cluster-B) Personality Disorder to begin with, or at least help nip it in the bud before it’s too out of control.
These disorder traits might be able to get spotted early on, and prevention therapy given, to help the child learn patterns of empathy and compassion for others, learn whole-object relations, learn healthy coping mechanisms, and so on.
Perhaps the culture as a whole can start to heal and reorient its value system, at a grassroots level, as more and more people receive help and get educated on it.
