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11
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 03:22:32 PM »
Can prayer cure a narcissist?

LOOK,

For some reason, God wants narcissists around.

He made them insufferable and incurable.

Nothing can cure a narcissist.

No medication, no therapy, no shaming, no prayer.

That's how they're intended to be.

Just incurable and not to be fraternized with.

Don't ask me why.

God works in mysterious ways.

And the useless existence of narcissists, is one of those mysteries.

God doesn't want you to waste your life away.

God doesn't want you to be with a narcissist.

But don’t they deserve to be loved, you ask?

No they don't.

Just take nuns for example.

No one is trying to be their partner.

Some people aren't meant to have a partner, according to God.

And Narcissists belong to that group of people.

It's just that nuns chose to live that life, expressing their conviction with words and actions.

And narcissists chose to live that life, expressing their conviction only with actions.

So anyway,

No.

The answer is no.

What's meant to be, is meant to be.

Take your ass tf to sleep.
___________________________________

Crucifixion may help.

It’s religious.

https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Can-prayer-cure-a-narcissist
12
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 12:50:39 PM »
Send in the Clowns!

One will do for now...
13
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 12:47:42 PM »
How are narcissists created?
What makes a narc a narc?

Some studies have shown that most narcissistic personalities are present from birth. Different people are born with different psyche and different characters. Some are more relaxed and tolerant, while others are more complicated, problematic, and cold.

From day one, a narcissist already has certain tendencies and inclinations towards specific, dysfunctional, and abnormal behaviours - he is programmed this way. The narcissist is configured to have a need for control, to have a demanding attitude, and to believe that he deserves everything there is .

It’s genes. It’s genetic, it’s in his DNA.

In some people, it is passed down from generation to generation and is clearly visible for several generations, also among siblings. These traits and character were passed on to the narcissist by his parents, but they can also be shaped by the way he was raised, by his surroundings, family, environment and the way he was treated. A narcissist may have experienced unimaginable and traumatic things in his childhood, which has resulted in his development being stunted and impaired.

These may include various types of neglect, physical, mental and emotional abuse, lack of acceptance, lack of love. The parent could demand more and criticize until the child finally realized that this was how it had to be.

Perhaps the child was not given as much attention as he should have been, was left alone, as a result of which child acquired very low expectations and learned not to worry about anything or anyone.

The child may also have been taught that superficial and shallow things are important. A narcissist may have been taught in his youth that money, success, or appearance were qualities that would make him accepted.

Maybe he was given an example of rich people who lie to get what they want, such role models could be wealthy, beautiful, seemingly perfect people. It was here that the narcissist formulated his hopes and ambitions and where he was heading.

A narcissist may be a narcissist because he was treated erratically and inconsistently by his parents, perhaps the parent used sporadic reinforcement, perhaps the parent suffered from the same or a different disorder. There is often a family history of other mental disorders or illnesses. Sometimes the parent was interested in the narcissist, but then he was cold and distant, so the narcissist learned that he could not trust and could not rely on anyone, then he became a narcissist, he became selfish, everything had to focus only on him.

The narcissist has learned that people do not help each other, he has learned that everyone must take care of themselves, because the lack of consistency has made the narcissist insecure, fragile and weak. This led to the belief that he needed to be in control to make sure everything went his way.

To a large extent, a narcissist’s behavior is acquired and learned behavior. A narcissist was never taught how to behave, how to behave in a conflict situation, he was never taught how to solve difficult problems, he was never taught responsibility, he was never taught how to deal with his problems, he was never taught how to reconcile and do not escalate the conflict.

Many narcissistic people are not interested in it at all, so you may get the impression that they never talk about it. A narcissist doesn’t want to be honest and open, he doesn’t want to be sensitive, because that would mean that someone could hurt him, it would mean weakness, and the narcissist cannot afford that.

A narcissist chooses manipulation, he may have learned the art of manipulation from various sources, from movies, books, parents and the environment. Pay attention to what interests the narcissist the most, what he spends the most time on... on the phone, however, it’s more about what he watches, what he reads, what topics interest him, what he spends his time on, this can give you many answers.

The narcissist acts this way because he believes that life is a game that must be played to win, which is exactly what the narcissist thinks. He learned that if you manipulate people and coerce them, shape them like plasticine, that means you are winning, which is why he is a narcissist. There’s a reason he is. You may want him to be different, you may want him to understand, but there’s really nothing you can do about it.

There’s nothing you can do about it, you can’t change a narcissist because these traits and characteristics are programmed from day one. This is not something you can change, only a narcissist can, but you must understand that it is a choice. The narcissist does not want to change anything, there is no such initiative on his part. This happens because the narcissist perceives manipulation as something that gives him advantage, control and power, and in this way he wins, he is in a better situation - this is what he was taught and this is what he learned himself.

The only thing you can do is be aware of this and manage your expectations better, then you can focus on your own development and improving your life, because you cannot count on a narcissist and if you rely on him, you will only be disappointed and let down.

Let the narcissist be an example of what you don’t want to be.

Let the narcissist be an example of what you don’t want to become.
__________________________________

NPDs are created by childhood experience and trauma. When a parent or caregiver fails them, by teaching them that the parent or caregiver can't be trusted for their emotional needs when going thru the stages of life. When they are pushed aside when they need reassurance, ignored when they need comfort, when who they are is taught that will never be good enough. When it is reinforced that who and what they are is not enough, when they are told they repeatesly can't because of who they are. When their likes aren't what the parent/caregiver want them to do.

I was told I was too tall, and not pretty enough to be a cheerleader everytime I tried out no matter how much I practiced.
When my mother never came to my horseback riding shows because it wasn't her thing.
When she never came to my swim meets because I never won my heats.
Never came to a band competition or a parade I was in.
Insisted I do things I didn't want to and had no intrest in, because all little Jewish girls did that.
When I was told that because I was adopted I wasn't her class of people.
When she let me believe my father left because I wasn't good enough.
When I got dragged to 3 different therapists because I had “mental" problems.
When she hated my friends for being losers.
When I was a tomboy and never wore dresses I was punished.
Was told I didn't appreciate her because I never wore the clothes she bought for me that were not my style and didn't like because she went clothes shopping for me.
My childhood could have easily made me into an NPD but I had my dad and he made sure I knew I WAS enough, and smart and could do anything I set my mind to.
____________________________________

One can say genetically there is a predisposition that a narcissist can be created if one of the parents and other family members was a narcissist or dealt with some other mental illness, but foremost it's what a child sees/experiences/learns in his own skin, in his own family as how people around him interact with each other, all reflected upon the child is what creates a monster out of him for a lifetime!

His parents neglected/abused/tortured/spoiled him when he was just a little baby creature (put on a pedestal, put down, a scapegoat, a golden child, never good enough, never learned to accept NO as an answer, never learned to trust and commit to anyone physically and emotionally), etc…

All of such profiles of children develop narcissism as a defense mechanism and way of behaviour as they couldn't trust their parents out of them mistreating them (frankly what I wrote in the last paragraph is abuse) so they see their way of moving in the world, on their own, selfish and arrogant, never growing up!

They also have cognitive dissonance, which means that out of 3 cognitions (reflexive, emotional and emphatical) they lack in the third cognitive department: emphatical.

Eg. A child sees mummy smiling, a child smiles back to her = a reflexive cognition (a child reflects back on itself mummy's behaviour)

A child sees mummy crying, the child is aware that mummy is hurt and sad = emotional cognition (a child is aware of mummy's pain)

But in the third department (emphatical) they are lacking as they simply do not have empathy which means they cannot feel mummy's pain nor help her and comfort her with compassion and understanding.

Out of not having empathy and no sense of Love all problems with a narcissist rise to a level of inner madness: he is driven by deadly sin feelings (greed, envy, jealousy, laziness, hate, etc…) merely imitating other people's positive traits (hapiness, compassion, understanding), not having it in the inside-not for himself nor for others so that is why he projects on others feelings of deadly sins.

A narcissist is a state of absence with a empty schizoid core, a cult of death that is, created, never to be changed.
______________________________________

Certainly a combination of genetic factors with traumas and upbringing.

My mind tries to wipe out the memories of my first years but some things I can remember.

I was born and grow up in a very tense familiar environment, my parents fought a lot. They had their differences but they also had two things in common: the temperament and the stuborness.

I'll not go to much in details about that stuff, but they end up divorcing. Of course, that couldn't do me very well…actually it was by this time (4-12 years of age) that I believe that my narcissistic personality started to develop.

The transition of my childhood to the adolescence was not much better. During this time I endured some of the most shaming situations of my life, most of them in home. I remember times that I spent hours crying in bed, without knowing exactly the why. I felt inadequate, weak, powerless, numb.

As the times were passing, I started to be a more “imaginative” kid. I would imagine people admiring me, being attracted to me, fighting for me. I would imagine me having the power to read people's minds. I become more entangled in the act of seeing myself in mirrors. This mental process would alleviate the shame and numbness.

Of course, I was very insecure and implausible. At that time I become fascinated with people that, in my vision, were popular. Sometimes I asked them how they managed to be like that. “How can they be so confident?”, I kept asking myself.

I started to study seduction and body language in order to develop a posture that inspired appealing. I also started to be obsessive about gathering culture of all kinds. Music, novels, movies, history, psychology. Some of these become entertainments that I preserve even nowadays, like the video-games.

When I was in my 14–16 years, I was still very introverted but at times I learned how to speak my mind properly and learned to have a kind attitude. But for the people that started to be more close to me, I had a posing and distrustful attitude. Hearing them said that always made me unsettling. But I would always rewrite the story to make me look like the right one.

In my 18 years, I had my first serious relationship. It was hell. I was unable to see how much of a selfish and controlling individual I had become. I had an imaginary set up in my mind, let's say that I imagined people dancing in this mental scenario. If the person didn't dance the way that I had idealized, I thought that I had the right to punish her.

When I gaslighted her and devalued her, it felt right. Nowadays, when I think about how much of a lunatic I was, I feel shame but not remorse. Very strange.

This first relationship ended, and others came, and I was getting worse. More vindictive, more resentful, less empathic at each day. I also become a very cynical person. Only I was right, only I had suffered, only I, I, I, I, I…

One day a very narcissistic guy, but also a very conscious person, said that he found me to be very histrionic. And I didn't know what the hell was that supposed to mean, so I devalued him and cut contact with him.

Even though my grandiose thoughts were at their peak, that shame and numbness that I talked at the beginning were still there. I still felt like that shamed kid even though I was an adult.

In addition to all of this, at that point of my life I already had a lot of enemies, a large history of failed relationships and jobs that didn't go well…

So I started to do some research about that histrionic thing. When I read the traits of Histrionic PD, I saw some things that made sense to me. But at the same time, I never had a strong need to be the center of attention like histrionic persons have. It was just the opposite; I always was very introverted and anxious about overtly showing myself. And the histrionics want attention, even if the attention is bad. That's not my case.

Borderline PD made sense because of my mood swings. But I never had suicidal ideations or had a great necessity for someone to look after me. Or even was that impulsive.

Antisocial PD was too aggressive and pervasive for me. For countless times I was petty and selfish but I never robbed anyone, never severely injured anyone, never suffered from substance abuse, never had a record, etc.

When I read the traits of Narcissist PD, my world fell. It was like I was reading how I felt my whole life. The grandiosity, the fantasies, the lack of empathy, the arrogance, the envy…it all made sense.

My realization didn't last very long… but this all I have for this answer.
_________________________________________

The narcissist is searching for continuous confirmation of their own existence and value. They are stuck in a developmental stage, their behavior make us smile when they are 2 years old, but it is a behavior unbearable in an adult. The reason why it is stuck varies, it has to do a lot with the upbringing and caregiver emotional health.

They are disappointing partners in any relationship, they feel entitled as lovers, friends, bosses, or classmates. They could be charming like an engaging toddler and misled people into a connection that is unbalanced by definition. They are extremely needy and demand the attention they didn’t get when they could use it and develop in a healthy adult. It requires serious therapeutic work to change a narcissist. Compassion is of the essence because they actually suffer and find a palliative in their aberrant human interactions.
__________________________________

Picture two children playing on a beach:

One child works hard to make a sandcastle. They gain praise for it from people walking by. The other child didn’t want to put in the boring effort of making a castle. Instead they have been busy looking at other people on the beach all this time, and noticing how inferior they are. When they hear the strangers praising their sibling, the second child is surprised, hurt and most of all is jealous of the attention the sandcastle is getting, and the praise the creative child receives.

Consumed with envious rage, the second child destroys the sandcastle, which has narcissistically injured them by upstaging them. The first child is deeply upset, they go to their parents with their claim. The parents are narcissistic. They don’t like this creative child, who threatens to upstage them too. They make excuses for the destructive child, much to the first child’s distress.

The destroyer, our narcissist, learns that the easiest and safest way to get attention is to pick on people who are the victims of their abuse.
______________________________________

Alright, sit tight, because we're about to unwrap the delightful mystery box labeled "Narcissism."

Narcissists aren’t manufactured in a shady factory hidden in the depths of a mountain. Their creation is a fancy cocktail of various factors. Genetics might toss in a splash of predisposition, while early childhood environment pours in a generous dose of influences. If a child is excessively pampered or excessively criticized, it can lead to narcissistic traits. It's like overcooking or undercooking your food—either way, it's not palatable.

Now, toss in society's current obsession with selfie culture, and sprinkle in some good ol' validation-seeking from social media. Boom! You’ve got yourself a breeding ground for narcissistic tendencies.

But here's the gem: not everyone who takes a selfie or needs validation is a narcissist. True narcissism is deeper, marked by a lack of empathy, a need for admiration, and a tendency to exaggerate one's own importance.

Narcissism isn't just loving the reflection in the mirror; it's expecting the mirror to love you back. And if it doesn’t? Clearly, the mirror's broken, right? Understand the recipe, and you'll spot the dish from a mile away.


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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 09:16:29 AM »
:tello: "Real People, REAL Problems. A facebook post..."

Expose Corruption, Civil Rights Violations, Judges, Cps


Teresa Alison
10m  ·
The worst situation is knowing exactly how the corruption works after working in the system. When we have mentally ill pedophiles, addicts & abusive lawyers & social workers in your family - we know what's going on, they destroy our credibility with fake accusations, literally murder our parents & children.
We cry out for help watching ourselves being eaten alive.

Crickets ...

Don't just go after one sadistic social worker nor lawyer liar leech. They are all in on it. They know how it works and either cash in, or turn a blind eye. It's female abusers doing the dirty work. Unelected officials making decisions beyond their pay grade.

Start with the mental health of those in the system. I used to be a director of Psych Halfway House - the social workers and lawyers involved were mentally ill, not the clients.  It's a for profit system - like 90% of UNICEF funds going to corrupt government bureaucrats - using 10% to barely keep a population alive so they can continue to collect the funding.
 
My sister steals children for a living. She went berserk on fertility meds trying to conceive. Tried to kill her ex husband so he couldn't leave her.  Now she carries out her illness taking away your babies & training Massachusetts lawyers to do the same. They can literally reach over state borders to steal children.

The other sister is a pedophile working in Maine Social Services. She'll get your child drunk and have her way with them. She's been doing it for over 50 years. Has a record of buying alcohol for minors- caught on camera. Instead of prosecuting, they gave her a job in social services doing case management for disabled children. They pay to abuse children & create more victims.

If a parent complains? They take away the child.
 
When working for Child Development Services in Maine screening children 0-5 for developmental delays, we were instructed to automatically open case files for all children in Head Start who had divorced or single moms raising kids on their own. Anyone with a boyfriend, adult male family around we left alone, even when there were clear signs of bruises and physical abuse.

My boss called women raising children on their own "The path if least resistance" our job was to open case files to get federal funding or take them down if they resist.   
All we do is point calling her a drug addict that beats her kids- and that becomes her reputation for the rest of her life.  Can't get a job wiping noses at a daycare or nursing home with those types of charges in your life.
 
It's literally murder of a human life.

We become reluctant whistleblowers just trying to protect ourselves.
White female parents of multiracial families become the whipping post for society...

And the rest of the country drinks the Kool Aid.
 
We don't protect ex-legal secretaries and social workers who refuse to go along with the corruption.
 
Then, on paper, they mysteriously become drug addicts that beat children.
Calling it "Women & Children" issues get boys to run the other way.
It starts with your local school board selling out our children to get a new staff lounge & raise school taxes to get more funding to corrupt teachers union - who are also paid to steal our children.

Since when did we allow social workers into our public schools? They're paid to find and create problems - their jobs depend on it.
 
We tried warning the world 30+ years ago. The government is coming for your kids.
The new HIPPA laws are actually assisted suicide.  They're literally killing our children. Now lawyers are going to cash in on the corruption?
 
Don't listen to ex lawyers, legal secretaries, nor social workers who gave up their job security to stand up against corruption - we tried to protect your children.
 
You didn't protect us.


15
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 07:29:14 AM »
:crazy:
16
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 07:17:03 AM »
What is the surest way to
destroy a narcissist?

Let's think about this question for a moment.

If you have a car that has been totalled due to being in a horrible accident years ago, would you be thinking of ways to destroy it?

Just like a totalled vehicle, Narcs are already destroyed inside since childhood for whatever reason/s. You can not destroy someone who is already destroyed.

Instead, focus your energy on getting yourself back to a better state of mind.
___________________________________

You don't have to do a thing to destroy a Narcissist. Just let them live their life. They will destroy themselves eventually…and everyone who tries to be part of their life.
___________________________________

You can destroy narcissist, but not the way you think. Heal, live well, move forward, accomplish your goals, live your best life. Narcissists hate when you are doing better than them, or better without them. When you are doing good it's insult for narcissists . It drives them crazy.

If they are the ones that left you, they can not handle if you are doing great without them. Some Narcissists. will literally try to find out how doing to reassure themselves that you still want them.

Your good life can literally destroy narcissists ego, so live life in very healthy way by being happy and successful.

17
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 06:53:42 AM »
What SIGMA EMPATHS Do
That Narcissists Hate

In this video, we delve into the intriguing dynamic between narcissists and sigma empaths, exploring why narcissists often lose interest in sigma empaths. By understanding the manipulative tactics and mind games that narcissists play, sigma empaths can empower themselves to break free from toxic relationships and maintain their emotional well-being. Tune in to gain valuable insights into this complex relationship dynamic and learn how to protect yourself from falling victim to narcissistic behavior.
Stay informed, stay empowered.

18
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 25, 2024, 01:47:52 AM »
:tello: "word".
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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 24, 2024, 03:21:32 PM »
Can you manipulate a narcissist?

Oh yeah, totally! I figured out a cool trick to get what I want - reverse psychology. Basically, instead of asking for something directly, I do the opposite or act like I don't really care about it. Like, if I wanted my brother to close the garage door, I would pretend like I didn't care and then he would do it.

Or if I needed something from the store, I wouldn't ask him directly, I would wait for him to ask me what I wanted and then he would get it for me. It's like a secret way to get people to do what you want without them even realizing it. So sneaky, right?
__________________________________

Absolutely. Narcissistic types crave control, attention, and in my experience, respect. They desperately want to be seen a certain way by those outside the house. Whether it's playing the victim, bragging, ect. Whatever it takes to hide or justify their behaviour. Public persona can be very important to them.

My Narcissist, we'll call him Mark, was literally brought down like this. He was a devil behind closed doors, but an angelic figure to the public. All the time I'd have people telling me “how lucky I was” to have him in my life…No thanks.

Most effective methods are for starters, phase them out. They love nothing more than feeling important, gotta keep that ego fed. Deprive them of that. Keep busy, DONT adhere and cave to their whims because they are pushing them on you. Always make it seem like you have something to do that's more important, ’cause let's be honest, anything is more important than wasting time with a narc.

If they still aren't getting the message, then jolt their public reputation. I made recordings of his behaviour. His real attitude towards those he claimed were friends, his real attitude towards his family. Then I played it to one rather well known gossip whilst “drunk” in the local pub, and left it there.

Within the week I had people coming up to me telling me they had no idea he was truly like that. His friends engaged with him a LOT less. People starting calling him out on his grand stories, picking out the plot holes in them.

Now a warning here, a lot of narcs don't like being challenged, and some can resort to extreme, and sometimes unsettling methods to regain control. With Mark, it was the threat of violence and taking over the finances. So do what you can to establish independence beforehand if you're deeply involved with them. Separate accounts, make sure what's yours should stay yours, and if need be, ALWAYS contact the police if you feel youre in danger.

My little narc story ended with him going to court and getting named and shamed in the local news. It was a hard slog to deal with him, and I'm talking years. But eventually he was so shamed he had to leave the area. But it is possible.

But the best advice - if you smell a narc, stay away!! If you have even the tiniest suspicion about their behaviour, get out. Even insignificant things, like love-bombing. They smother you with attention, then take it away when they can't get their own way. Trying to change you to suit them, convincing you that their ideas are better ect.
___________________________________

You just need to pretend to be someone you're not.

Someone tougher.

More aggressive.

More cheerful.

I say aggressive as it's crucial to keep momentum up, to maintain high energy, to keep things moving in the direction you want them to go. To let the narcissist dictate the direction for too long will lead to abuse.

The energy you expend in emotional display feeds the narcissist. It's good to do this because they love it. Acting impressed makes you someone they want to deal with, because you make the feel good. Simple creatures are our narcissists, so if you can bring a suitable gift of food or something else small, it helps to grease the ratwheel that spins constantly in their mind.

Acting like this is draining and so you must keep the interaction short. Run out of energy and you will blow your cover.

You'll need to make a character the narcissist will like, but not too much.

I suggest someone optimistic, foolish, constantly on the move, and strangely bulletproof.

What the narcissist wants to do is isolate you, and abuse you.

What you want to do is extract goods or services from the narcissist.

You are going to let the narcissist abuse this character a little, in exchange for the goods and services. If they abuse you too much, you can use the character to innocuously stand on their little fingers and toes just before you leave.

How do you let the narcissist abuse you? You must be awed by their knowledge and or superiority. You praise the impressive things they have done.

However, you do this in a fearless and high energy way. You are playing inferior here, so you cannot afford to let things slow down too much, or you will get that old familiar sinking feeling as they begin to maul you.

Get in first, maul them with your enthusiasm.

The difference here from how you normally behave is that you're not being a filthy *mpath who just wants some nasty narcsex, you are a smooth operator looking out for you and yours, taking care of your Goal.

If you do not have a good or service that you want — do not engage! We do not talk to narcissists for fun, or to be social. We only ever manipulate and use them.

It is important to pull back, and not allow the abuse to begin in earnest. It is incredibly easy to hurt narcissists' feelings once you've slipped into character, as you praise them they become grandiose, and display their corpulent belly, they leave unguarded their turkey neck.

Being someone stupid and cheerful allows you to give them an accidental elbow if you need to, or to cheerfully accept putdowns, because you're just being fake and phony anyways.

Always leave when things get heavy, the last thing you want to hang around and let the narcissist maul you until you break character and rage. The best way to ensure your safety is to always have somewhere else to go, something else to do.

Happy manipulating, campers!

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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on April 24, 2024, 03:02:32 PM »
:mobbing:
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