51
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 14, 2024, 04:10:12 AM »“Narcissists believe what they want is more important than a person's life.”
Why Narcissists Are Dangerous
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52
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 14, 2024, 03:45:45 AM »They are users period. Run like hell. You can't believe how ill these people are.
The Fantasy of The Narcissist
@cindyc.1572
5 years ago
I was raised by a narcissistic mother. She never showed me love. I ended up with a narcissist and I tried so hard to get his love but of course there was none. I guess I searched out a person like my mother and tried to get that love I was denied my whole life. I realize now that I am a lovable person and I am free of these narcs. Their loss.
@eajosephedward
5 years ago
And really empathic people are a real threat to them, and those who are really talented and really articulate with their.minds those narcs try to diminish, minimize and sabotage them because they are grave threat to them and one of their biggest dislikes is being called out..
@1991windsor
5 years ago
I pretty much ignored every red flag in the beginning and it wasn't because I didn't want to accept what he was it was because I had no idea what narcissism was until I couldn't ignore the flags anymore and went to the internet. My biggest lesson in all of this was to always trust your gut it will never lead you astray.
53
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 14, 2024, 02:50:24 AM »They are masters at using the guilt with us. It took me a while to find this out. Yes they are ruled by their feelings.
The Narcissistic Guilt Trap
54
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 14, 2024, 01:18:59 AM »Can you be a self aware narcissist?
They do exist and and those motherfkers are dangerous.
I think narcissism is on a spectrum when it comes to self-awareness.
You've got that moron who basically is just inconsiderate and selfish and careless with peoples feelings on the low end of the spectrum, and on the high end you've got somebody who's a piece of sh!t and knows exactly what they're doing and gets off on it.
The self-aware ones are the ones with the high levels of cognitive empathy. They're the ones who can tell exactly how you're feeling, and then with no remorse they'll exploit that for whatever suits their interest.
Those are the ones that will take your secrets that you told them in your vulnerable moments and use them against you for personal gain or for their own sick enjoyment.
These are the ones that will divorce you on the day of your mother's funeral and steal all your money on their way out.
These are the ones who play victim and publicly shame you for being an abusive psycho, even though, I got to say, these are some of clingiest a*sholes I've ever come across, with their abandonment issues and their accusations and psychotic jealousy.
And, yeah we've all got issues, but normal people don't use that as a piss poor excuse to abuse others, and then gaslight you into believing you're the problem.
______________________________________
Related
Can a self-aware narcissist be helped?
No
They know exactly what they have been doing the entire time.
These are some of the things self aware narcissists use for their self help:
When you are in pain they leave you behind and help themselves cope with them losing your attention by sleeping with someone else.
They help themselves ahead of you at the all you can eat buffet. Then when it comes time to pay they forgot their wallet.
When rent comes due they somehow don't have the money. Instead they helped themselves by buying a new car. Now, not only is rent due but you have to pay their car payment. They want you to thank them for their shiny new car.
The next day they total their (your) car because the night before they self helped themselves to 5 six packs of beer on your credit card.
Self aware narcissists are aware that they can get what they want by manipulating you.
They have been self helping themselves to you since day one.
Time to shut down the all they can eat buffet....
55
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 14, 2024, 12:50:01 AM »Why would a narc treat you
like garbage, abuse you through
texts and suddenly be reasonable and nice?
like garbage, abuse you through
texts and suddenly be reasonable and nice?
NARCISSISTS HATE YOU.
That's why the narcissist treats you like garbage.
And sends you nasty texts.
They just don't like you, ok.
And all the nasty things they say is how they feel about you.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you can't possibly think that a narcissist actually cares about you.
They can't, they're disordered.
In order not to hate themselves, they gotta hate you.
Now, why would they be nice after that?
Because they're not ready to leave you yet.
And as long as they're not you'll be going through a cycle of abuse and intermittent reinforcement with them.
As time passes, the abusive periods will become longer, while the nice periods will become shorter.
In due time, the niceness will be completely eradicated.
Until you'll be left with the abuse only.
The real person, the one that hates you.
Then, after some time, they'll leave you without a warning.
They'll just block you and dissapear.
Some time later they'll probably try and get with you again.
And you'll get to see the fake nice version again.
And if you entertain it, you can repeat all of the above.
Infinitely.
All of this, is because they're a narcissist.
And that's why.
_____________________________________
Because they are crazy.
They are impulsive and don’t live in reality. They aren’t accountable for any treatment they give out.. they’ll say they didn’t do it, they were joking, it didn’t happen. It’s all a game. All they want is a reaction to feed off of.
They don’t care if it’s a good reaction or bad reaction, your reaction is their food. Starve them. That’s the only way to get rid of them. Don’t try to make any sense of it, it never will make sense.
_______________________________________
For confusion… they're trying to determine what they can get away with — what you’ll tolerate.
Why? Because they have identified you as someone who they wish to use… they need to have you confused…it sets you off balance, leaving you reeling from the mind f*kery and hopefully you won't notice when they are stealing something from you, most notably your energy and goodness, your money or maybe your friends etc.
If you know someone to be a true narcissist, it's best not to engage. Ignore their antics. Treat them with respect but don't let their hooks set in. What they want most is your reaction, once they get it they will pursue you for greater thefts. When you finally figure them out and cut off the Supply, that's when they toss you out to the curb.
_____________________________________
This is just the way they are.
Literally, they can go from raging at you for hours, pissed off beyond belief, for something they did, but are blaming you for it.
Then 10 minutes later, comes out and says “hi honey, what should we east for supper?” Like nothing happened because in their mind, nothing really did happen. It was just you raising a fuss over their abuse, which isn’t a concern at all to them, so it is easy for them to rage and then settle down, within minutes.
Not degrading. Just saying….. think of a toddler, throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get the attention they want 24/7 or the didn’t get the toy they wanted. Or they are tired or hungry. As soon as they find something to distract them, they come out refreshed and a whole new person, with a whole completely different mood…. This is where shite is so confusing.
With mine, he would sit there and rage at me for an hour or two, throw his fits, over sh!t he causes and he was mad and rearranging my reasoning to his distorted reality. I stopped defending myself, when he attempted to reverse the convo and issue back to me. He hated that, I knew that he did that.
Maybe too much information, but he would ask me to have sex with him after he threw his tantrum and went apesh!t. It’s like he loved fighting and then sex right after. In the beginning it was “make-up sex.” But it soon became excessive with him. But I was so traumatized and bonded, although I knew what was happening and that I shouldn’t allow it, I still stayed long after.
They literally are up, down and all around in less than a minute. They go from laughing with you, sharing videos, to 2 minutes later you’re still laughing, enjoying the rare moment together; you try to show them a video you found funny, but you’re completely ignored. They stop laughing. Head into their phone. And you can see the small smirk on their face, knowing they know you know they are purposefully ignoring you.
I literally could not keep up with the constant mood shifts, for no reason.
A lot of times they will plan a situation, then stage it and act it out. It usually involves something that irritates you, like you just finally sat down and the narcissist says, can you grab my charger, I think it fell behind my chair. My response, I exhibited frustration. Due to endless hours of cleaning, that of course had no help with.
Of course this was the reaction the narcissist was intending to provoke out of you, so you act annoyed; irritated and probably moody, but there is one main rule of the narcissist. Do as I say; not as I do.
Basically, saying they can do and say whatever to you; but you are not allowed to hold them accountable and you also aren’t allowed to say and do whatever you want.
You play by their rules; you’re just an object to them, like a possession. You’re aren’t a person to them.
You play their game, you start to adapt and figure out their game; you master the way to stop the game, you’ll know when it is time. You’ll be to the point, where you want to check yourself into another universe, to escape them.
But although we may completely despise this person, you’re disgusted with them, you know they are impacting your mental and psychological wellbeing, but you can’t seem to let them go. This is a strong trauma bond.
We know we need to get out, but it’s “safe” here for now. When you have had enough, you’ll know. And it will take you, the strong person you know you are, to pull yourself away, cut all contact, and fking breath again. LIVE. Once that fog is gone, it’s like sh!t have I been dead this whole time with them?
It literally feels like you’re being reborn. They suck your soul and every last bit of energy left in you if you let them.
56
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 14, 2024, 12:23:48 AM »Why do narcissists act like nothing ever happened?
They act like they never did anything wrong.
They act like they never did anything wrong.
Narcissists cannot empathize. Other people only exist to meet their needs.
They live in an inflated bubble of their own fantasy world to protect their fragile ego. They distort, rationalize, twist facts, and delude themselves to avoid anything that may cause unwanted feelings like shame.
When you have an altercation, or when they do something awful they project - a narcissist doesn’t have to experience anything negative in him or herself, but sees it as external. Those traits are projected onto someone else or a group of people instead. You become the one who is selfish, weak, unlovable, or worthless.
They believe they DID do nothing wrong, it was you that was the problem, and once their needs are met, they totally disregard and forget it even happened because they have no emotional attachment to it.
____________________________________
The narcissist acts like nothing ever happened because to him nothing ever happened.
What piqued my curiosity was this very thing. In the beginning of our so-called relationship I never experienced this type of non-reactive person. He was even keeled I thought. Compared to the household I came from. Everybody in my family would talk,react argue,apologize and move on or not and we laughed alot.
I thought I came from a rather strange family. Little did I know that my family was my rock.
As time went on I realized this narcissist had no heart. When he began to treat me like I was not his equal. He made decisions, was secretive about finances, and then the other women. With all this, he was calm and cool like nothing ever happened.
So it ended up with the narcissist controlling everything and it was a confused mess. The narcissist just didn't want to even communicate. It was like I was living with a dead person.
Live and learn.
57
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 14, 2024, 12:05:25 AM »
58
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 13, 2024, 11:56:20 PM »What is the best punishment
/consequence for a narcissist?
/consequence for a narcissist?
TIME
The sordid, chaotic, selfish life of the narcissist has only one punishment that is fitting....TIME!
TIME strips the narc of their beloved physical attributes. That once glowing smile is now just an overstretched over-tanned juvederm skin balloon, along with some graying cracked veneers.
Their once magnetic charm and charisma has seemingly vanished. Now, the narc becomes an empty air bag of nervous energy.. a desperate attention seeker… kinda boring actually. Their sex appeal is gone too. Its been replaced with a fake pair of over-groped dented tits, and some Colombian stretch underwear to forklift their saggy asses.
Their once captivated stadium full of supply has dwindled down to only a few leftover bleacher seat rejects willing to still entertain them. TIME now forces the narc to see their ugliness squarely in the mirror.
As TIME passes friends and family have become tired of the narcs antics. Now, they hide from, refuse to answer their calls, and secretly poke fun at the narc. TIME has exposed the narc. That smug fitting mask that once protected their despicable selves is now punctate and worn and now slips regularly with ease.
TIME has struck the gavel against the narc. TIME has decided their fate…TIME now banishes them straight to Bogeyland forever...rot there.
_________________________________
The best punishment and consequences narcissists face when they start to age.
Aging narcissists face karma. They pay for what they have done. Once a narcissist starts aging, they don't get things easily. It's hard for them to maintain the mask; they don't have the energy or patience to maintain the mask to attract supplies. People start figuring out who they are because of their past history and their inability to maintain a mask in front of people.
Aging narcissists behave in a very wicked way; they are unable to control their emotions and frustration. Health problems make them feel insecure, anxious, and tensed. If they have money, they can keep a person for benefits, but it's still hard for them to control the person. The person they keep takes advantage of their old age. They isolate themselves; it's like they have lost the battle. What they have hidden inside for all those years can be seen very easily by looking at them. Aging narcissists live a horrible and miserable life. What they have done in life, they are getting in return with interest.
Narcissists suffer in the end. Hoo RAY!
___________________________________________
Being left to live the life they imagine they deserve, without you as their trusty home base, their back up.
Leaving them in their vacuous, vapid world where they can flirt, fantasize and fk, with reckless abandon…but without you to come home to and take for granted.
Giving them the freedom to pursue their “friendships” (their acquaintances) until they wear people out and expose themselves as the socially awkward fks they are.
By moving on, by building a life of value, pursuing your goals, dreaming new dreams and making them real. Leaving the N free to pursue all the options he’s deluded himself into thinking he has. Letting it run dry and not being there for him.
By loving and being loved; by having a stable, reliable, worthwhile relationship with someone. By finding a life partner. Leaving him to burn through all those gals he has his eyes on. All those gals he lights up when he sees. All those gals he’s compared you to. All those gals that won’t be thinking about him anymore than you will. As he grows old, and all his scavenging and manipulating and conning and grifting puts him right back at the start of the game…while everyone else has been moving forward.
By quietly laughing to yourself about all his delusions for the future, knowing they add up to all the failures of his life that got him this far. Or didn’t. And knowing he’s too dumb to see it.
By letting go. And letting him be someone else’s problem.
_____________________________________
For all of us, looks fade with age.
It's not pleasant to deal with for anyone, but generally we accept it, make the most of what we still have. We're grateful for good times, for love given, received and made.
We look at younger people and see them without jealousy or bitterness.
Many flowers still bloom. We can look at the sky and feel grateful that we are alive.
Now consider the narcissist…
They don't actually need to be punished. That's not in any way a defence of their behaviour or the evil that they do, be that from hurting people right up to being a danger.
This is their entire parasitic life.
Dwelling on what is a punishment for them means you're just swimming in their shitstream.
You are better than that. Breathe in and out and thank your lucky stars you've not had the life of pain they have, and can't handle.
_____________________________________
I don’t like to think about this, truthfully, because there are people that I still love who are malignant narcissists, whom I have had to remove from my life for my own sanity and well-being.
Some have already left this earth, and I don’t like to think of the repercussions they might be suffering right now from all their earthly actions. I hold onto the old adage that it is not our place to judge, and so whatever was going on with them, in their mad minds, that caused them to behave the way they did on this Earth, let a Higher Being judge them for those deeds.
As for their punishments here on Earth, I can tell you that as they age, their supply dwindles, and reality begins to seep into their false image. It becomes harder and harder to deny the wrinkles in the mirror. They become more moody and disagreeable than ever. There are less and less takers and the well soon dries up. They usually replace some of their fuel with belittling anyone and everyone they meet, but even that isn’t enough to sustain them.
If they are lucky enough to have money, they might be able to employ some staff to pour misery onto. Most of them turn to drugs or alcohol to escape their reality. Of course these only add to their depression.
Those that don’t turn to drugs, seem to actually become delusional. For instance, a 70 year old narcissist might think everyone who is kind to them is coming on to them. Or they regress back to childhood, and decide to go back to college, hang out with all the college kids and act as if they are of college school-age.
Or a person who has long-since lost their looks to “age”, might decide that they still have a chance at modeling or to become a famous actor, and begin putting together a portfolio and searching for a talent scout or manager to promote them. They end up spiraling in their madness, sometimes becoming so out of touch with reality that they let all of their responsibilities go by the wayside as they obsess with their new fake persona (buying cars they can’t afford, getting cosmetic surgeries, instead of paying their mortgage).
They become so entrenched in their fantasy that they begin to tell people they are famous, and even begin to believe their own lies. Eventually reality catches up to them. Hollywood rejects them. Tyra Banks laughs in their old wrinkled face. The mortgage company forecloses on their house. BMW repossesses their car.
They find themselves shunned by the other college kids, who just find them creepy and weird. And so they begin to spiral into a depression, so deep and so dark… as their madness overtakes them.
Those lucky narcissists that have have wealth or people addicted enough to remain in their life, will spend every last minute they reside on this planet, making life miserable for those who are around them.
But the remainder do end up all alone, suffering through their last days in a puddle of self-pity, total and complete despair. They usually die alone, encompassed by their own stench, and are not found until someone reports the smell of their rot.
Sounds pretty, huh?
59
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 13, 2024, 10:58:35 AM »How is being "discarded"
by a narcissist any different
than a regular break up?
by a narcissist any different
than a regular break up?
Oh there are quite a few differences actually.
With a normal breakup there will be closure with that one last adult conversation where both parties will ask questions and receive answers.
In a narcissistic discard there will be no closure and you can forget any of your questions being answered.
With a normal breakup both parties will most likely stay single until healed.
With a narcissistic discard the narcissist has already gotten another supply lined up way before they discarded you.
With a normal breakup each party will try make it easier for the other party, as painless as possible.
With a narcissistic discard the narcissist will make it as painful as possible.
If you share a house together the normal person will wait and let the other party find alternative accommodations.
With a narcissist they won't wait for nothing, they don't care if you go sleep in the streets as long as you leave the second they say "Go".
If there are kids involved with a normal breakup, the parties will find a way to co-parent.
With a narcissistic discard there will be parental alienation.
With a normal breakup there will be no guilt tripping or blame put solely on one person.
With a narcissistic discard the narc will make their partner feel confused, put all the blame on their partner and make them feel extremely guilty.
_______________________________________
Because you won't see it coming Narcissists will pretend everything is fine.
The difference is:
They'll break up with you in a very cruel way.
They won't care/consider your feeling at all.
They'll completely ghost you… POOF! they're gone, leaving you baffled & wondering what happen.
They won't give you any explanation because they've been grooming the new supply the whole time leading up to the discard.
Narcissist wants you to chase them and pour your heart out while they ignore all your text messages & phone calls, having no intention of giving you closure.
Normal people talk to you at some point about why they want to break up / leave you.
Narcissist will throw you away like yesterday's trash with no remorse as if you never meant anything to them.
Because you didn't get with the narc's program as docile Supply... THAT'S the difference.
Sorry folks, that's how they are.
_______________________________________
From my personal experience:
You will feel guilty, alot; it might even lead to depression. You will think that you’re a horrible person for messing it up with such a wonderful person. You won’t be able to get closure because they’ll disappear *snap* just like that.
They won’t show the slightest care for you, thus enhancing the feeling of guilt and that will make you genuinely believe that you’re the most awful person on earth. All the people both of you knew will turn against you. You’ll have trust issues and self-esteem problems.
Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s torture.
Nothing like a normal adult break-up.
But the most painful thing you’ll experience is when you realize you’re the wonderful person and that you didn't deserve any of that vicious disrespect and savage abuse.
Ahh it’s fking painful, oh well. And your pain becomes the narc's delight. Sick b@sturds!
Good luck to you !
_______________________________________
Narcissists must have supply available. You have failed to hold up their grandiose vision of themselves by not being fully available at all times to admire and worship them like a god.
Keep in mind that when you do things for yourself the Narcissist will consider this a slight and it will cause an injury to them.
Furthermore you are expecting a normal amount of reciprocity which is also causing the Narcissist an injury. They are entitled to your full attention and they owe you nothing.
Lastly, the relationship has become boring to them. It turns out you are a human being with flaws. You no longer match with the fantasy in their head, therefore you are not good enough. This causes them an injury because they are too special to be with someone so ordinary.
Now the Narcissist must find new supply.
But you can bet they will not give up their current supply until they find a suitable replacement.
However, since you have injured them so gravely they must also punish you. Negative attention is still attention, and it doesn’t really matter to them if you are in love or in pain. If this particular Narcissist is sadistic they will, of course, prefer the pain.
The Narcissist will start hunting. You will notice signs of cheating such as them suddenly caring more about their appearance. Guarding their phone and internet much more closely, and changes to their routine. They will lie about this so blatantly that it will trigger cognitive dissonance for you. If you feel a great deal of confusion, its a good bet the Narcissist is lying and gaslighting you.
You will find the the Narcissist is now accusing you of cheating. With my last Narc he would accuse me of cheating, then he would accuse me of accusing him of cheating, and then he would deny the cheating.
He started talking about himself in terms of how desirable he was. For example, he would say that he knew what women wanted and that he had the things that women would want. Except some of the things he would say about himself were aspects of his history and personality I never knew about. Of course, they were also lies. He was simply practicing the story he would tell about himself to someone new...the New Supply.
He would morph his personality. Sometimes I would drop by his house and although he still looked the same physically, it was like I was with a completely different person. This was because he was busy learning to mirror someone else who he was engaged in love bombing with.
He would go on work related trips and on these trips there would always be some tragic circumstance which caused him to spend money. For example, he ended up having to stay overnight in Las Vegas by no fault of his own. He managed to lock his keys inside his car and it cost him $500 to get into his car.
But the story he told about the tragic incidents of that night were bizarre. The story kept changing for several days until he had figured out the final version he wanted people to believe. Of course, all of this was meant to garner my sympathy so that I would be so busy feeling sorry for him and marveling over the bizarre “facts” that I could never get to the simple truth.
He was there with another woman. If I were to question this story, he could immediately criticize me for being a terribly uncaring person who was questioning the motives of a good man who had just gone through a terribly hard time.
He started getting extremely sensitive and defensive anytime I talked about sex. He would engage me in gaslighting and word salad if I brought up the subject. In fact a single mention could ignite a rage filled verbal attack that could last for hours.
He would also gaslight me. For example he would insist that I had accused him of having an affair ( I hadn’t ) then he would attack me for accusing him of this. Then the following day he did the same maneuver except that “affair” turned into “affairs”.
Unfortunately for me the Narcissist managed to hoover me several times. But eventually I stopped reacting and disconnected emotionally. Frankly his mental illness was so deep I found it interesting to observe and would sometimes trigger him on purpose to set off his reactions.
One time he melted down severely for a couple of hours straight. He literally went from one maneuver to another. It was like watching an actor practice his roles. I simply sat quietly and observed this. He essentially schooled me in several of his manipulation tactics. I used this knowledge to reexamine and explain aspects of our history from a new perspective.
Once I was able to see what he was doing it became clear exactly what he was up to. Each time he met with another women, he would accuse me of cheating. Each time he had sex with another women he would become reactive to talking about sex. Each time he went off on a trip with another woman he would come home with a tragic story of how he was wronged.
The reality is, the Narcissist can not just cheat. They need to cheat and triangulate you with the cheating in order to punish you for all the harm you have caused them. So they will tell on themselves.
By this time I was primarily in the picture because of his daughters who had asked me for help. I gathered evidence against him and reported him to the authorities.
A couple of days later my car suffered from a catastrophic failure of the entire cooling system. This was the third time he had sabotaged my car. But, I dealt the Narcissist a heavy blow and stopped his hoovering. He of course attempted to smear me all over town. But I was expecting it, and prepared ahead by connecting with many people in a way that would contrast deeply with the image of me he tried to portray to them.
The Narcissist is actually very weak. But because they are so desperately weak they can act out in very harmful and even dangerous ways. That’s why a proper defense requires that you understand what makes them tick.
There is some controversy about if the Narcissist knows what they are doing, or if they are simply so deeply engaged in their mental illness that they can not be held accountable.
I am here to tell you that the Narcissist knows exactly what they are doing. They are doing it consciously. Because the original injury happened when they were very young, they have been practicing their manipulation strategies for a long time. So they aren’t necessarily thinking about it ahead of time.
Sometimes they are just running a game on you that they have run hundreds of times on other people because they know it is effective. Make no mistake. Their intention is to control and have power over you and they will use whatever means is at their disposal to do so.
The Narcissist does not consider this wrong. They will justify in their own mind that what they are doing is perfectly ok. They escape guilt and shame even within their own mind, by engaging in an enduring delusion that is so deep that if they were to see through it, they would literally die. This delusion is the false self. And because there is no other self, the death of the false self is the same as death.
During the time I knew this particular Narcissist there were three or four moments of clear, unadulterated truth. In these moments I saw that the Narcissist was fully conscious and aware of what he was doing, and that he was fully committed to it without reservation.
How do you know you are about to be discarded? Open your eyes to the sickening truth about the Narcissist and it will soon be obvious to you.
When you are walking on eggshells, deeply confused, cannot think straight, dive into depression and possibly suicidal thoughts, are being blatantly abused, but still being held onto the Narcissist is preparing to discard you.
When you suddenly find that everything about you is wrong, every secret is being told around town and every bit of information you ever shared is being used to sabotage you the Narcissist is preparing to discard you.
When you can see that the Narcissist blatantly hates you, but will not let go of you, he is planning to discard you, and the moment he finds suitable supply you will be cut off like you never existed.
When he tells you stories that are too fantastic to be believed and doesn’t even bother to cover his lies, he is coming close to a replacement. Because when that lie becomes so blatant that you finally call him out on it, he will use your normal reaction to prove to the world what a crazy, unstable b!tch you are.
Be advised: The Narcissist will not just let you go. He will attempt to destroy you as well. Part of his discard will include smearing you. He wants to make sure that in the end it will all be your fault. You will have no one to turn to, and that other people do not see his game, and will not believe you if you try to tell them. In fact, it is very likely that his new supply will become his strongest supporter and helper in this goal.
He has been doing this all his life, and he is exceedingly good at it. Don’t take it personally. The person before you went through this. The person he was sleeping with while he abused you will also go through this.
It is very likely that this pattern will continue in the Narcissists life until the day he dies. When you are discarded, you have been handed your freedom. Guard it jealously. It is hard to admit that you have been played. But if you can admit it, you will prevent another Narcissist from doing the same thing to you in the future.
60
The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on June 13, 2024, 08:17:18 AM »What is so dangerous
about a narcissist?
about a narcissist?
They are parasites, and will drain you of whatever they can, as much as possible. Their abuse can cause long term damage to your mental, emotional, financial, and even physical health.
You may be dealing with something much worse. I thought I was married to a narcissist until STBXGIC (soon to be ex going in circles) tried to kill me, and tried to have me killed.
Leave ASAP. It only gets worse, and can be more dangerous than you know.
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That you’re in close proximity with them. They’re are a predator, they’re an abuser, they use you for whatever means that they want. They don’t care about you. You are just an object to be used and discarded later like a cigarette butt.
They could kill you, they could drive you to suicide (like mine tried to do), they will play mind tricks on you which make it so you can’t move forward in life. They will make your physical and mental health diminish down to nothing.
These people are hideous. They’re not even a person nor human. They’re a hostile alien.
Get out while you still have some sanity…
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The most dangerous part about dealing with a narcissist is that you are dealing with the person who is before you—he is not real, and will do anything at first to reel you in. He is charismatic but fake, which makes him very dangerous.
People are just not their thing but getting someone to do what they want is their thing, and they will do whatever it takes to win the prize, including faking emotions—they have none.
Narcissists are determined and clever. They will literally do anything to stay on top—to be number one, including being your friend. And when you are no longer of use, you are discarded—on his part, there never was any allegiance or loyalty. You were once of use, but you have lost your purpose, so goodbye to you and hello to DISCARD.
In other words, a narcissist is all about himself and attending to his needs—there is no room for feelings, intelligence, logic, rational thought or reason.
Trying to deal with an empty heart and coming up empty handed is what makes a narcissist dangerous—they are void of any feelings, unless it will benefit them.
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They are very dangerous but they can have not just narc traits; it can be combined.
They accuse you of everything. They themselves are doing "Projection". They belittle people and lecture people like they are the adult and you are the child. They triangulate you against everyone and they also smear your name to everyone.
They are very verbally abusive. Some are control freaks. They use the silent treatment very often. And passive aggressive behavior. They are entitled; they do whatever they want and around whoever they want. They gaslight you and they do it so often it makes people think they are going crazy.
They also do that reactive abuse where they abuse you and once you react to their abuse tell you "You need meds and you're crazy". They use word salad and manipulate people. They also do that sleep abuse at home or phone or text. They go into ballistic rages. They bully and threatened people. They do that hot and cold and that Jekyll and Hyde thing.
It gets worse and worse the longer you stay with them. If they hoover you back with promises of change, they get you back to abuse you more. They smear your name from the beginning or at the end when you finally had enough.
Some are obsessed stalkers who think everyone is their own personal property. Trying to reason with them is like you're dealing with an adult child trying to teach common decency and you'll be better off banging your head against brick wall.
You could end up with PTSD or CPTSD. Double standard BS. It's like signing a contract with the devil. They can break the rules and boundaries but you better not try anything.
It's like being on a merry go round with the devil. They never apologize for anything they do but try to make you apologize for everything you're not doing or saying. They are pathological liars and cheaters and will accuse you of everything they are doing.
Even if someone was to hurt themselves because of what they were doing, they would tell everyone "Look, I told you they are crazy". Some are on the side of the Dark Triad and you see the pain they've caused.
Did you ever see their eyes when they abuse you and you react, how evil their eyes get? They might even laugh.
I would go no contact with them and all their enablers and flying monkey turds so you can heal and become healthy.
