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A NEW Tello Blog.
Exclusively dealing with Narcissism, from a personal point of view.
Trust me, I'm a Professional.
Not just a "Survivor", but currently a "Steady Customer".
Nothing is easy, so when there's a Narc in your life...
...everything is a Sh!t Show.
Please stand by, this Blog is evolving, one impulse at a time.
Buckle up. Here It Goes.
Shut up smee.
:smee!: :troll2: :mop:
Celebrity Smiley impersonated.
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:tello: "Welcome. Check it out: this is more about Therapy for us than them."
SNIPE
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If you are interested in sending correspondence, please do it. I'll post the nasty stuff first.
m86thecat@yahoo.com
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And then there's this:
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Production Note:
What you can expect: Random Posts.
What you can get: Random Posts.
You got a better idea?
This is not easy.
[END TRANSMISSION]
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Narcissistic personality disorder
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a life-long pattern of exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a diminished ability to empathize with other people's feelings. Narcissistic personality disorder is one of the sub-types of the broader category known as personality disorders.[1][2] It is often comorbid with other mental disorders and associated with significant functional impairment and psychosocial disability.[1] It's some really flocked up sh!t, man.
SEE MORE:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder
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10 Ways To Tell A "Normal" Relationship
Vs.
One With A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLmZ2ajcOvc
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Do narcissist know they are using you?
Yes, they do. They know exactly what they're doing and how much it will hurt you. Even knowing this, they continue to use you. They understand that the relationship won't last.
You may not have known or wanted to believe it, but it's true.
It was never about love; it was about control.
Narcissists enjoy manipulating your feelings to get what they want. They lack empathy and truly don't care about others.
They treat their target like an object, such as a doll or toy. They play with it for a while, but when it's no longer perfect in their eyes, they start mistreating it. Eventually, they get bored because abusing you isn't fun anymore, so they leave.
____________
Oftentimes, they do not.
For they are just following their natural state, impulses, instincts.
Narcissists use you, to elevate them to new heights.
That's right, they want to –
Run faster,
Jump higher,
Perform new tricks,
Ultimately, achieve a new level of greatness.
You are nothing but a tool.
You may be good–looking, you may be smart, you may be impressive.
Nevertheless, you are nothing but their tool.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissist-know-they-are-using-you
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What Happens When You No Longer Play Into A Narcissist's Games
When you've had repeated exposures to a narcissist, weariness settles in as you think: "I can do better than this." Dr. Les Carter details how necessary it is to reclaim your good mannerisms so the narcissist is no longer setting your pace. He describes 5 distinct adjustments you can make to show that you are no longer willing to be manipulated and treated poorly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBiJdwBNB6o
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Tales from the Narc side - Presented by Ron Tello with a DRUM show!!
Watcher of Crazy
1.09K subscribers
814 views Streamed live on Jan 18, 2024
Please join me and panel guest Ron Tello as we discuss his Tales from the Narc side. Many of you know him as Ron Tello the "Mayor" of Montello, the creative, eccentric, funny and long haired dude that used to live in Montello, NV and known to build and beat a mean drum. After exercising his 2nd Ammendment right to protect himself, he was held in Elko Co. jail for 357 days. Once released he was unable to return back to his home and he now considers himself a Political Refugee and resides in California. We will also celebrate his 66th birthday with him. If you would like to send him a few dollars to say Happy Birthday, his paypal info is below.
Paypal email for Ron: m86thecat@yahoo.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhHHkTU0FXo&t=6160s
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:wtf:
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What makes a narcissist panic?
:panic:
Being around a narcissist can make you lose your confidence and courage, and you may start to feel nervous or even scared.
This is because you never know what the narcissist will do next. You don’t know what might happen in 5 minutes. His standards and behaviour drop dramatically quickly, and his mask begins to slip away for longer.
A narcissist will do something reprehensible and forbidden to gain attention and gain an advantage over you.
However, there is a way to turn the situation around. There is a way to gain an advantage. A narcissist may seem scary, terrifying, and may intimidate you, but in reality, he is a very insecure, fragile, and oversensitive creature.
A narcissist is built on a sense of shame. He does everything to avoid responsibility, and he does everything to avoid feeling shame and not to think about what he has done. Nothing scares a narcissist more than shame and the possibility of being exposed.
If you want the narcissist to panic, start talking about what he is doing, start pointing out his faults and mistakes, start mentioning that his story makes no sense and that there are many inaccuracies in it. Tell him that he gets lost even in his own lies. Tell him you don’t believe a word he says, tell him he’s a pathological liar, and back it up with undeniable evidence.
The narcissist may not agree with this, but this will cause him to panic. This is because the narcissist knows that what he is saying is stupid and untrue, so when you talk about it, you start to expose him, and you show him that you know who he really is.
This makes a narcissist :panic:
Nothing scares him more than not being protected from something harmful and dangerous to him. Nothing scares him more than having his embarrassing and harmful behaviour exposed than having his secret revealed. A narcissist must have control over other people’s perceptions, must have control over how they perceive him, and must have control over what they think of him.
The narcissist achieves this through manipulation, but if he feels that he is unable to manipulate someone’s perception, someone’s point of view, then the narcissist will panic.
A narcissist will panic around anyone who is confident in themselves and their worth. A narcissist will panic around anyone who respects and accepts themselves. A narcissist will panic around anyone who has a strong, unwavering opinion of themselves and will panic around anyone who is happy and satisfied with their life. A narcissist will panic around people who have power and who are in control. He can’t be around authentic people. He can’t be around people who have character and strong boundaries. This is because then the narcissist can not manipulate or control that person.
Then the narcissist can’t control how you see yourself, he can’t control how you see others, he can’t control how you see him, and all of this creates anxiety and instability for him because then he has no power and no control, he is at a disadvantage and unfavorable position.
A narcissist must feel that he has power and control, because only then can he feel stable, and only then can he feel safe. The narcissist must keep you in a state of threat, fear and shame, and the threat of loss. But if you are sure of your self-worth, a narcissist can not bring you to such a state that he will not be successful.
The narcissist has to make you lose your own identity and make you give up who you are. He has to do this first so that you will be afraid of losing him.
As long as you stick to your identity, you won’t be afraid of losing the narcissist. This, in turn, will trigger his problems and fears of abandonment and rejection, which will cause the narcissist to panic.
So, to make a narcissist panic, you must first stay calm and avoid emotional reactions such as surprise, nervousness, or worry. A narcissist is only looking for a reaction to what he says or does, so he will try to provoke you, threaten you, and intimidate you. A narcissist will use various types of threats, both direct and indirect, but if he cannot upset, worry or irritate you, if he cannot lead to extreme emotions or arguments, this will give you an advantage over him and cause the narcissist to panic. As long as you respond to what the narcissist does, then he will feel comfortable, then he will feel powerful, and then he will feel in control. As long as you are emotionally involved, the narcissist will have control over you. To create a narcissistic panic, you can start to control him. You can stop seeing him as an authority. You can tell him about his mistakes and shortcomings, and you can use the grey rock method. To make a narcissist panic, you need to avoid contact, then he will seek contact, but if he doesn’t get a response from you, he will feel insignificant, unimportant, and worthless, and this tells him that he doesn’t deserve your attention and time, and that causes that he panics.
For a narcissist to panic, he must know that he cannot reach you and cannot influence you, he cannot control you and cannot manipulate you, he must know that he cannot get any reaction from you, then the narcissist cannot gain fuel this is because then you are the one rejecting the narcissist, not the narcissist rejecting you. :congrats:
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-a-narcissist-panic?topAns=1477743749176045
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Dear Narc:
I'm not saying you're STUPID.
I'm saying your Father was RIGHT.
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Are narcissists bad people?
Yes, narcissists are bad and evil. Narcissism is a personality disorder where someone thinks they are very important and cares too much about themselves. People with this problem are hard to deal with because they don't understand others' feelings, struggle to build good relationships, act bossy, have trouble socializing, feel better than everyone else, and use others for their benefit.
Narcissists want attention and approval from others to feel secure and special. They often do tricky things like lying or bragging to make themselves seem better or more successful than they really are. If things don't go the way they want, they get very mad and might even be mean, especially if someone disobeys them. This makes it tough for people close to the narcissist, as any small disagreement can lead to a big angry reaction.
In terms of having healthy relationships, it's not easy because good relationships need both sides to give and take. But if one person insists on being in control all the time, it makes things even harder, leading to frustration and hurt feelings. This is especially true if the person had narcissistic tendencies before entering the relationship.
Some say that getting treatment might help those with this disorder understand themselves better and learn how to interact with others while staying true to themselves. But, in the end, only the person with narcissism can make real changes. At the end of the day, yes, we can definitely say that narcissists are not good people.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-bad-people?topAns=1477743745537507
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What will a narcissist never do?
1. They don’t let anyone prove them wrong. If you try to show them that they are mistaken, they will either dismiss your attempt or get angry and defensive.
2. They will never apologize. They just don’t care, and if you ask them to apologize, they’ll probably just say something like: “it’s not my fault, you’re too sensitive”. So if you’re waiting for them to apologize, you’re waiting forever.
3. They will never forgive and forget. Because they are incapable of forgiving or forgetting someone who was wrong them, even if that person made an apology. They don’t just hold a grudge and let it fester, they actively try to hurt you in the same way that breaks them.
4. They will not appreciate you. They will never thank you for being there or helping them out when needed, they will never even acknowledge that your presence in their life is something to be thankful for. They will just expect you to be there for them because they feel entitled to it.
5. They will never put you before them. They love to put themselves first and they will always put their needs before yours and never think twice about it.
6. They will not care about what you feel. It’s for them hard to deal with because they cannot care about anyone but themselves. They don’t want to hear about your problems and don’t want to listen to your complaints. They might pretend to care sometimes but it’s all for the show.
7. They will never be responsible for their actions. They will never take responsibility for any mistakes they make, they always make you feel crazy and unstable all a part of their game plan. They want to keep you on your toes so that you’ll never get a chance to figure out what’s really going on with them.
8. They will never love you. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, it’s important to remember that you’ll never be the center of their Universe. They don’t act out of love; they act out of neediness and self-interest.
https://www.quora.com/What-will-a-narcissist-never-do?topAns=398612814
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What causes narcissists to feel humiliation?
Narcissists aren't able to handle the truth. Narcissists, at any cost, don't want to know they have flaws. The truth triggers the shame in narcissists. When you bombard narcissists with the truth, they will run away. You will see them angry.
Narcissists can't handle constructive criticism; it's like how dare you point at their flaws. Narcissists will blame you for everything by projecting their flaws onto you. Constructive criticism makes them feel insulted and humiliated.
Narcissists are very afraid of being exposed. Being exposed makes them feel shamed; they can't handle when people view them negatively. Being exposed destroys narcissists false reality.
Narcissists live in a world of fantasy where they believe they are perfect individuals.
https://npdabusehealing.quora.com/What-causes-narcissists-to-feel-humiliation?topAns=1477743746473451
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The Sign That A Narcissist Is Beyond Redemption
Healthy individuals are in an ongoing effort to grow and make personal improvements where necessary. Dr. Les Carter draws upon solid research, identifying the primary indicator that illustrates if a person is not only unhealthy, but destined to create perpetual strain in relationships.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXaq0_XqhWk&t=2s
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What To Do With Stored Up Anger Toward A Narcissist
Even as you pull away from a narcissist, the emotional damage can linger. Dr. Les Carter describes how you can have stored up anger for an extended time, but as you understand why it is there and how to manage it, you can keep it from consuming you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge_E-UtUuU0
"Your anger is the part of you that knows that your abuse and mistreatment are unacceptable. Your anger knows that you deserve to be treated well and with kindness. Your anger is a part of you that loves you." - Lindsay Gallant
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This Causes the Most Pain in a Narcissist More Than Anything Else
Hey everyone, welcome back to our platform! Today, let's delve into the intricate world of narcissists and their intricate reactions to unmet expectations, particularly within the realm of personal relationships.
Narcissists, with their self-absorbed nature, constantly crave attention and adulation. Yet, beneath this facade lies a vulnerability to criticism and setbacks, especially when their grandiose expectations fall short.
In relationships, narcissists have clear objectives. They seldom invest in genuine, intimate connections unless they foresee an opportunity for dominance. Dominance serves as their tool for controlling and manipulating relationships, with the ultimate aim of rendering their partner so dependent that opposing them seems inconceivable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h9939XtY1c
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:tello: "Narcs will and DO abuse the Courts to do their dirty work when they know they have failed to get the Narc Supply that they incessantly crave."
From: Sherry K
To: Ron Tello
Mon, Jan 15 at 10:15 PM
Attention, Ronald Culley.
When I saw you on the 6th of January, 2024, you had received an eviction notice, which will be carried out if you don't accept my offer by the 30th of January, 2024.
I had offered to pay your moving expenses, and to also pay your property taxes. I'm letting you know that the total cost of the moving expenses and the cost of your property taxes will NOT exceed $3,000.00...I will pay you what ever is left after the move is completed, which will be done by February 6th, 2024. We can both sign an agreement to this offer.
Keep in mind, that by accepting this offer, your move must be completed by February 6th, 2024. This offer will be void on midnight, January 30th, 2024, and the money that would have gone to help you will go to an unlawful detainer, instead. To be delivered to XXXX San Bernardino Ave.
Sugarloaf, Ca. -92386-
How the Narcissist Reacts When You STOP Playing Their Mind Games?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibYEobPG6_Q
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:tello: "On January 6, 2024 I received a 30-Day Notice. It was Defective on its face. No Proof of Service page attached. It was not filed with The Court. I have not yet received an Unlawful Detainer. NO FOLLOW-THRU. Totally incompetent, this one.
I got over a dozen 30-Day Notices over the past 8 years. It shows a Pattern of Abuse, and there is NO legit legal defense for her.
Narcissistic Injury is not a Legal Complaint.
And what about the Lawyer who provided it? Shady, and subject to scrutiny too!"
No Image
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Here's where I Flip The Script.
This is Why the CHOSEN ONE Suffers
The concept of the "Chosen One" is deeply rooted in spiritual, mythical, and religious narratives across various cultures and traditions. Often portrayed as a figure destined for great purpose, the Chosen One's journey is not just a path of triumph and glory but also of profound suffering and challenge.
Being chosen has various meanings for different people. However, when we talk about being chosen by God, It means that God has personally selected you to fulfill a unique role that involves helping others in your time. This selection is not random; it's like being handpicked for an important task.
Being chosen is indeed a great honor. It's a blessing that comes with its own set of challenges. Those who are chosen often face difficulties because they possess special spiritual gifts. These individuals are highly aware and alert, with a deep consciousness that sets them apart.
They have the ability to understand and feel what others are going through in a way that most people can't. Their minds work in ways that are different from the majority, which makes them exceptional.
Learn more from the Video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHOBlM2X4jE
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8 Signs You Are a Chosen One | All Chosen One’s Must Watch This
Every chosen one comes into this world with a mission. They bring light and hope to humanity, and once their tasks are completed, they return. It is precisely because they carry such extraordinary missions that their lives are often filled with hardships, trials, and emotional turmoil, but they ultimately achieve greatness.
When the higher power chooses you, it doesn't hand you a manual. It gives you clues, signs, and whispers. Don't dismiss signs as mere coincidences. Acknowledge them. Delve into their depths and you might discover their arrows pointing you toward your destiny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jVWYmRc4Ik
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Don't Mess With the
Chosen Ones
From the courageously misunderstood to the bearers of knowledge, the chosen ones have remarkable depth. This video reveals the why of their divine protection, the intellect they carry, their influence on societal dynamics, their profound intuitive sense, and the ancient secrets they hold.
- Why are they referred to as "the chosen ones"?
- The depth of their spiritual power
- Their intellectual giftedness
- How they influence our emotions and transformation
- Society's misunderstanding consequence
- The power of their intuitive sense
- Their ability to transmute negativity into positivity
- Their possessive of hidden knowledge
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7jxtnej-u4
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10 Reasons Why Sigma Males Are Way Different
Than 95% of Men
Sigma males have long been considered outsiders in society. They are constantly misunderstood, and many people don't know how to classify them. While alpha males are recognized for their dominance and assertiveness, sigma males tend to be more introverted and independent.
Alpha males may be the most familiar in the dominance hierarchy, but Sigma males are a rare breed that stands out for their unique qualities, while others may view them as mysterious and hard to understand. Here are reasons why Sigma men are way different than 95% of men, and *Smee.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOsPzLE999o
* http://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=8293.0
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How a Covert Narcissist Seeks Revenge
Narcissists are vengeful and revengeful and vindictive. And they are cold hearted and heartless and cruel and unforgiving. This is what they are. And this is who they are. And that’s why they are so dangerous. They love to argue. And they love to fight. And they love picking fights. This is what they love. So how can they possibly love anyone else but themselves? So never, ever trust them with your heart or with your mind for that matter. Or you will live to regret it for the rest of your life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z87Bo61YFm4
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The Narcissist's Most Cruel Desire...
Don't Let This To Happen To You
It's hard to believe that someone who seems normal can be so hateful and evil but this is spot on. These people are so fake but they mirror you so you're blind to what's happening until you're hooked, then they start to break and devalue and you end up being so confused. They put on such a convincing act, other people believe them. They're the victim, but the reality is they are cold blooded sick individuals.
They are very happy to destroy as many lives as they can.... Quite proud actually.
Narcissists don't seem to understand the concept of working together for mutual growth and success because they view everyone as a threat.
Narcs are quite strategic before carrying out their plans to trap their victims and know exactly when to strike. They spy and watch every move of their target, knowing their schedule from when they leave and return to their homes.
Finding out their true colors…and refusing to have anything more to do with them…is the best feeling in the whole world. Bye bye, Bozo!! And let them worry forever…that their next source of supply finds out the truth about them…much faster than you did.
These monsters have to be put in PRISON!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYmhgioGJX4
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8 Lame Tactics Narcissistic Women Use To Manipulate Sigma Males
Gentlemen, beware – not every danger in the realms of love and relationships announces itself loudly. In the shadows, a subtle challenge is emerging, catching numerous men off guard. Many find themselves ensnared by the manipulative tactics of self-centered women, entrapped in a web of control and emotional turmoil, often without their immediate realization. These individuals grapple with breaking free from the tight grip of manipulation, a force that's silent yet overwhelmingly destructive.
It's crucial to recognize that no man is immune to such manipulations, regardless of his independence or mental fortitude. Even the most self-sufficient and strong-willed among us can fall prey to these cunning strategies if we're not vigilant about the signs.
I'll unveil eight sophisticated techniques that self-centered women employ to ensnare independent men, directly from the playbook of manipulation itself. Whether you see yourself as a leader, a follower, or staunchly independent, these indicators are essential knowledge for every man. Being aware of them is your first step towards sidestepping a life mired in unnecessary drama, disappointments, and chaos. Let's explore these insights together.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSRi6L7vDnU
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Hidden Gifts Every Sigma Male Is Born With
For a long time, people believed that the best type of men were those strong, dominant alpha males who were seen as the ultimate winners. But recently, a new kind of man, known as Sigma males, has come forward and challenged this idea. Sigma males have become the new role models, surpassing alphas in many ways. They've become the ones others look up to. No longer do boys dream of growing up to be alphas; instead, they aim to be Sigma males. These Sigma men have set a high standard for others and have earned a wise and respected status among those who admire them. But what makes Sigma males so special? Let's explore the unique hidden gifts that all Sigma males possess.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqfZUdoNEOE
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If Narcissists Are So Special,
Why Do They Run People Off?
It takes a special person to repel almost every one they know.
Narcissists are empty to their core so even when they are surrounded by their flying monkeys they are and will always be alone in their own hell.
Narcissists are legends in their own minds.
They run off everyone that isn't an enabler. If you're not enabling their bad behaviors, they don't want you around.
They are NOT interested in your reasoning or arguments.
They ARE interested in how much you are willing (or prone) to let them dominate and exploit you, because they believe they are much smarter than you are.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se4dqZGTgRU
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How The Narcissist Multiplies
A huge, overwhelming chunk of abuse is at the hands of family members. Family members can be narcs too, and this is difficult for many to accept.
We are conditioned to believe that family loves you no matter what they do, and non-relatives are the enemy and narcs. Learned behaviors start in the home for children. The acting mask is worn not only outside but inside for narc victims.
Right, the family unit for some is not in their best interest, and victims are confused about whether or not to walk away from the madness. However, victims hardly have no one to turn to in seeking validation in cutting off toxic families. We are aware that the victim's families are against it, but it's not surprising that most outsiders are as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IH1ISzG4Ydw
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The Darkness At The Core
Of Narcissism
It's amazing that people that you thought were so smart and mentally together were actually quite simple minded and mentally disfigured, horrid, evil, malicious, boring people. Run for the hills & save your soul & mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrr0YZeZ8AM
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Why does it seem that narcissists
are immune when it comes to karma?
First of all the nature of the narcissistic personality does not allow the narcissist to ever be satisfied with their lives.
Why do you think they dumped you?
You were probably the perfect partner and bent over backwards to please them, but they still criticized and found fault in you. The better you treated them, or the more you tried, the more you were devalued and manipulated.
Narcissists are never happy. They always are in search of more or comparing themselves to others and then deeming their lives better. Narcissists often feel the “grass is always greener” and love to upgrade the things and people in their lives without feeling bad.
Sometimes the narcissist who lacks empathy may feel a twinge of guilt about the horrible or super petty things they have done to others, and this will lead them to be even more abusive to others to mask their guilt and keep the uncomfortable feelings at bay by projecting the bad feelings they feel for themselves onto others.
So feel free to ignore all the happy, and smiling pictures you see on social media, trust me it’s a mask. If you could have a glimpse into what is really going on, you would see that the narcissist is sad, lonely and miserable just like they want you to feel when they dump you as if you were yesterday’s trash.
One karmic penalty you have seemed to forgotten is, THE NARC DUMPED YOU! You were waiting on them hand and foot or you rooted for them when times were hard for them. You were the best you could be to them and even though they treated you badly, you didn’t leave.
THE NARC DUMPED YOU!
Only a narcissist would play their hand so badly because no one in their position would dump someone so devoted to them. They will never get another you, and this means they are already losing. You are the best thing to happen to them and they had the nerve to get rid of you. They will have to now go through life without out your greatness.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-does-it-seem-that-narcissists-are-immune-when-it-comes-to-karma
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:tello: "Elko County Nevada is a Narcissist."
Being a Criminal in Elko County pays
Being a burglar in Elko county is a high paying job with little or no personal risk.
Ya, there might be a risk of having a landowner/homeowner shoot you, but being caught by law enforcement does not appear to be a risk at all.
Recently some of my family members had their shop broken into and during the burglary a vehicle was set on fire and a pistol was stolen along with a side by side, a 4-wheeler, and countless tools.
They called the Sheriff's department and requested an officer to come out and take a statement, begin an investigation, and follow up with attempting to catch the criminals. We were all assuming that meant getting fingerprints, doing an arson investigation, investigate possible suspects, and protect the victim. They collected a statement, nothing else.
The suspects are known to the officers/detectives, yet they have done nothing to interview, question or obtain search warrants for their residence. The way these type of cases work from the Sheriff's office point of view is "We will have to wait until we catch them redhanded". That is a scary proposition. What if next time they accomplish their goal and burn the entire house down with victims inside?
Crime is on the rise, drug activity is on the rise, victims are on the rise in large numbers across Elko County, and from where I sit, not much is being done to get these criminals off the street. All the while the victim sits alone and scarred waiting for something to happen. They have now armed themselves to protect their pursuit of life, liberty and happiness while the criminal walks free without fear of being held accountable.
I get up every day to go to work to earn a paycheck, medical benefits for me and my kids, and pay taxes for a sense of security and community. Maybe it's time to quit my job, get on government subsistence, get free health care and take what I want when I want it. Then maybe I will have the freedom that the criminals in this county get handed to them.
-Scott Stewart
[Published in the Opinion section of the Elko Daily Free Press 8/30/14]
http://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=8284.msg719673#msg719673
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What To Say to a Narcissist to Shut Them Down Permanently
@brutalhonesty3737
2 years ago
I’ll never walk on eggshells for anyone ever again.
I’m done apologizing for who I am.
I’m done living in fear.
I’m done approval seeking.
I’m done defending myself to a deeply dysfunctional person.
I’m done giving myself to people who aren’t worth my time.
Do what I want to do. Say what I want to say. Don’t fear anyone’s reaction.
I don’t care what they think or what their opinion is. I can’t please the unpleasable.
I don’t owe anyone an explanation about anything.
I’m calling the shots.
Don’t worry about losing them; remember that I am someone who can be lost too.
Never appease to the extent of compromising my own boundaries.
I will not lay down my intellect and conform to them.
Refuse to be controlled by the controller.
I don’t need their approval, affirmation, blessing, acceptance, support, endorsement, cooperation.
Their words & opinions are irrelevant. They have no authority to assign value to me.
Stop trying. (To be kind enough, good enough, understanding enough, communicative enough, loving enough, caring enough, etc.) It’ll never be enough.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kn7H_P1VfWY
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What are the top 10 things a narcissist never does in their life?
LOYAL.. They play the part until they get the first chance to stab you in the back.
HONEST… The only thing they're honest about is when they tell you how wonderful they think they are.
FAITHFUL.. Truth be told I don't think this is a word that's even in their vocabulary..
GENUINE… Well this one can be debatable because at the end of the day they genuinely will make your life miserable.
EMPATHIZE Your feelings don't matter. Nobody's feelings matter. The only person that matters is the narcissist. Should I empathize with nobody or anything or anyone?
TRUSTING They cannot be trusted and they are definitely not trusting. They're so busy accusing you of cheating on them and talking to other people because that's what they're doing.
COMMITTED I guess this one's another one that can be debated. Cause the only thing they can commit to is making your life miserable.
TAKE OWNERSHIP WHEN CALLED OUT
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST….Look in the mirror and see the monster that's looking back….
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-top-10-things-a-narcissist-never-does-in-their-life?topAns=1477743657885299
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Who does a narcissist hate?
There is one person a narcissist hates the most in this entire universe – it is their own self. They are confident, and that much suggests they love who they are, but the reality is far, far, far from it. They hate their insecurities, their shame; they hate their weaknesses, and that becomes evident by the fact that they take it out on you. They project it on you; they sacrifice their true self on the altar of their false self to survive, essentially making them nothing but a bunch of masks and facades they put on depending on the situation they are dealing with. They cannot stand their own presence; they cannot survive their own company for more than a minute – it suffocates them.
___________________________________________
You.
Because you have a depth of character, are admired, have a soul, a good heart and loved authentically.
What they hate the most is your spirit.
That’s what they want to crush.
They love bomb you thinking your greatness will either rub off or is an act or a costume they can steal.
Narcs know NO discipline and want no responsibility to be responsible for your happiness, health, salvation or love. Love bombing is their way of trying to play you so they can extract from you your interpersonal identity.
They have none. It never works bc they don’t have the discipline nor the ability to be socially, psychologically or physiologically civilized this late on the game. That why they go from circumstance to circumstance, never learning, never evolving and still in the circumstance they’re in with new supply, they are still utterly, alone.
They need a host body to navigate through life. A host body with a beautiful spirit. Watch Omen 2 and watch how Damien talks to his “brother” Mark in the woods in the snow before he dies. That’s a narc. They say the devil comes to political figures most bc of their position of power. Narcs are the same. Watch Omen II. One of the greatest movies in cinematic history on evil, demonic powers and narcissism. Their genetic makeup is different.
Narcs want to destroy good. Then destroy YOU.
They want your soul to crush your spirit. You heard of selling your soul to the devil? That’s the love bombing stage you accept.
Watch Omen II.
And get out.
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How do you make a narcissist
scared of you?
They become afraid of you when you are totally detached from the sick cycle of bending over backwards to keep them happy and cater to their demands.
When you truly do not give a crap about what they think, speak your truth, and stand your ground. They become unhinged.
The day he learned he could no longer manipulate me, is the day he became terrified.
You can't fake this. They will sniff it out. You have to really and truly be at the place where you are so done with them, you do not care if they are alive or dead.
Then, you become their kryptonite.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/How-to-make-a-narcissist-scared-of-you?topAns=338693319
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Why is the narcissistic personality dangerous?
My answer is going to touch upon a different level of philosophical and moral concerns, not just the common answer that “narcissists destroy your life.” We already know they do.
So to begin with, the narcissistic personality will ruin your life, or come very close to it.
Unfortunately, our planet is a cold and cruel place that seems to reward people according to how they present themselves instead of seeking true value. We know that narcissists or psychopaths are always acting charming and "funny" to begin with. So if you utilise a mask and are a fake narcissistic person, you are able to garner lots of rewards.
There are also people who, for some evil reason, keep running only into such fake and immoral narcissists and psychopaths, and this can literally soul-kill a person, especially empaths. Empaths are said to be quite rare and yet many of them are targets or victims of dangerous narcissists and psychopaths. (I will use the term narcissist throughout this post for brevity’s sake.)
INFJ's are also often targets of narcissists. I am an INFJ/highly sensitive and have had run ins with more than a few narcissists, both male and female. What we mean by highly sensitive or empathic, is that such people have not only a high level of empathy, but they are often uncorrupted to begin with. These are people who have a natural sense of wonder and may be quite creative. They may be bookworms, artists, musicians, people who love poetry, those who are in love with beauty in a world that is cruel and ugly. They are easy marks for nasty and low-minded narcissists, not because they are weak, but because they are exceptional. Most victims of narcissists are kind, exceptional people.
So I first have to ask how value can thrive or even survive, if we keep rewarding fake, devious narcissists, and the good people of the planet end up in a bad way from being constantly abused? There is only so much a person can take.
Narcissists enjoy corrupting good people, in fact, I have heard a malignant narcissist say this to me once, with a big smile on his face.
And this world really is not a pleasant place. Every day, innocent and beautiful animals are slaughtered among the millions in factory farms. Children are violated and murdered every minute, every hour. The fact that innocence does not stand a chance in this world is a testament to the fact that narcissists will thrive and achieve their aims, because no one can stop them, and even if we try, our attempts are often unsuccessful. Have you ever tried to warn a new supply, a friend, or family member? They would rather throw you under a bus than listen to someone who is trying to help. People want so badly to believe in illusions. It’s our own inability to understand that what seems too good to be true, actually is.
Our system itself is also an illusion. Our system is set up in such a way that people on the social hierachy or pyramid cannot rise from their situations. This includes the courts and our systems of justice. It is intentionally so. They have purposefully allowed narcissism to thrive in our environment so that we cannot fight the graver injustices that occur. I believe that the APA isn't telling us the truth about how many narcissists are actually out there. In this way, they can keep their business open for prescribing countless medications to treat depression and constant visits for therapy, when in fact, the narcissism epidemic is behind a lot of the pain and anguish in this world. Psychiatry is big business too, and fits right in with everything else in this sick society that utilizes money as both tool and weapon.
It's mostly done on purpose.
Think about it. If you get victimised by a narcissist, lose everything, and cannot get over the trauma, how will you have the energy or will to fight bigger battles?
This is why narcissism is dangerous, not just to the individual victims, but society as a whole. It is a very destructive "virus" of sorts that is spreading. People who were once joyful, full of hope, and happiness, become shadows of themselves after narcissistic abuse. The ability to trust is gone. The very meaning of life may even shatter. The way narcissists treat people as disposable cheapens our life, and makes it seem like a game. We see the “happy” narcissist run off into the sunset after destroying others mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially, with yet another supply, knowing that the game will never end, as long as people are not educated on this topic. It's very grim, and very depressing, but it is reality.
In sum, this planet is not as nice as some people make it out to be. For many, it is an existence of great suffering. Corruption seems to be the name of the game.
And if the narcissist doesn't corrupt your morality from close enmeshment, then their abuse, cruelty, and discard will absolutely make you a different person. You may become vehemently angry, outraged by the injustice, and unable to comprehend how this person can cause so much devastation, walk away, and not care in the least.
The only way to combat this is by communicating (sharing experiences), exposing (spreading awareness), and supporting others (moral support/spiritual support) who have been through this travesty or abberation of nature, that is, the narcissist. I'm not even sure if they are human to be honest.
I’m not saying this to be rude, I just don’t even know anymore what they actually are. I’ve been among enough of them to know they are driven by jealousy and hatred, which is disturbing enough aside from the intentional abuse. The fact that they also steal from you, take whatever they can get, and then leave or force you to leave them for your sanity, just makes it even more cruel. Especially if you are ill or not useful to them. Then they just find another supply who will adore the false masked demon and reward them for their bad behaviours. This issue is reaching a crisis point. We need to keep spreading awareness every day.
That is all I have to say for this answer, as there is no other actual answer.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-the-narcissistic-personality-dangerous?topAns=1477743729302217
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:evillaugh:
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Is narcissistic abuse the church's business?
They tell you what you should do
but won't help you physically.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUMUZcUuvls
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When Narcissists Realize That You're Not The Stupid & Weak Person They Previously Thought
It's all fun and games until you play it better than them and never be sorry about it.
When a narcissist mistakes an empath's kindness, generosity and vulnerability for stupidity and gets checked, it angers them and makes THEM feel stupid and ashamed. Empaths have no problem with that whatsoever!! To blow a narcissist's mind this way and have them slither off into the sunset is a blessing!
Do not take an empath kindness for weakness. You will wish you hadn't. We don't play.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DeQ712zSBY
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:jandoor:
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11 COWARDLY Tactics Of The COVERT NARCISSIST
Narcissists get terribly disappointed when they find that you're not as needy and helpless as they expected you to be, and don't need their messiah complex kind of help.
Then they feel bad when you're successful without them and make a big display of telling you how happy they are for you and "how much better" you are now, which is an underhanded insult implying you were pathetic in their eyes.
Some hide it better than others, but their mental instability surfaces under duress, when little to nothing they say makes sense, i.e. incongruence in their thoughts coming out in words.
They interrupt you not to shut you up, but to keep you from completing a logical thread. They are trying to keep you from realizing something by redirecting your line of thought.
The more confused you feel the more likely you're dealing with a Narc. That confusion is not love, you're not soul mates, twin flames, nothing like that. Politely get out. 'Sorry I'm very busy at the moment'.
Be vague.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unyspI8AtSI&t=515s
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6 People Narcissists Hate The MOST!
@ronaldculley
1 month ago
One day I woke up with a bad arm. My Narc says "I can't have deadbeats living here". What a charmer....
@jewelleemay
1 month ago (edited)
I would have came back with- "Get out then!"
@Cheyenne-og8db
1 month ago
"Thump thump thump" says the deadbeat arm. Good Humor Honey!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7pel8tOwGg
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Why Narcissists HATE When You Stop Reacting to Them
:rawprawn:
@PeterAcrat
2 years ago
This is why a healthy relationship with anyone narcissistic is a No-Win for peaceful people.
Get out; Stay out.
Find someone authentic who thinks and feels more deeply, and values stability and their personal growth.
@eazyc404
1 year ago
Their best relationships are often with people that were just as abusive as them: Trauma Bonding
@heavyjoechipman3594
7 months ago
Bro, I couldn't have said this better. Thank you. Peace is everything. God bless you and yours.
@peterknyk1942
2 years ago
The narcissists anger and bullying increases when I do not or try to not acknowledge her or her existence....her need for "attention" is so overwhelming....she will use just about anything in her "bag of tricks" to let me know how angry or hateful she is....
@hmmetzify
2 years ago
They have NO LIMITS
@shaniecegullison
10 months ago
Same with mine. They really will go as low as they can go and then go even lower than you ever thought they possibly could.
@roberts7363
2 years ago
I'm finding it very difficult to estimate how far each of my narc-family members would really go. My mother started to spread the rumor that I have serious mental problems. The last thing was my father (they are divorced for over 10 years and have normally no contact at all), suddenly treating me like he would think I want to kill myself.
After that I've contacted a lawyer! It kinda sounds exaggerated, but I would not dare to consume anything she has cooked or poured.
@Itsjustcazzata
1 year ago
Them creating an argument when you’re venting about your personal pain is one of their sickest traits.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5GStB2qJnV4
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And now.......
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25 Signs of Covert Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Tfg0veZHgk
9 Very Subtle Signs Of Covert Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzO4-HDs3sw
Phil In The Blanks | Covert Narcissist Intro
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYJZpJy7YsU
The Silent Manipulators: 6 Warning Signs of Covert Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HomHlS3ETPw
WHAT THE NARCISSIST REALLY CARES ABOUT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z11tLM23rck
10 Ways Narcissists Make YOU Look Like The Problem
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7TpG2ZZeaU&t=47s
Fear - I Don't Care About You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ACKEGCvLtI
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The American Ballad of Ultimate Decay
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB8TiPwg7zI
The Narcissistic Western Civil Action
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZJzw7LSXc0
Institutional Public Disgrace
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoF_a0-7xVQ
Lost AngeleX
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUiZHt6sqg4
God is in The Garbage (The Flies of The Lord)
https://youtu.be/fzI-SukS4Ww?t=3245
JERKS of The STREET
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDwcHUeG6Nc
Dad Ken's Law Vehicle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PScmRiaZhwk
iPop-Love for Hypnotized Chickens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuBU3pzy7is
EXTOLS - Don't Touch Us
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHiGR0iuTUo
Some Lyrics That Narcissists Oppose
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9fpZNI8lDU&t=367s
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Start questioning if it’s
brain damage.
Better to think that way than to believe people could be this intentionally damaging.
:tazdev: :foot: :badfinger:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7TpG2ZZeaU&t=47s
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Says a lot about sh!t and stuff.
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>>>>>>>INTERMISSION<<<<<<<
https://www.facebook.com/ron.t.culley/videos/10150664263807160/
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And now, our feature presentation....
Gaslight - Full Movie - (1940)
Gaslight is a 1940 British film directed by Thorold Dickinson which stars Anton Walbrook and Diana Wynyard, and features Frank Pettingell. The film adheres more closely to the original play upon which it is based – Patrick Hamilton's Gas Light (1938) – than the better-known 1944 MGM adaptation. The play had been shown on Broadway as Angel Street, so when the film was released in the United States it was given the same name.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYmtzaHwCKo&t=250s
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8 Red-Flag Phrases Gaslighting Narcissists Like To Use
A favorite tactic used by narcissists is to create doubt within you by putting a confusing spin on events. Dr. Les Carter explains how narcissists love to gaslight, then identifies 8 common phrases they use in their attempt to keep an edge over you. But once you're onto their techniques, you can choose not to get pulled in. Their game is confusion, but your response can be clarity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yso5OadAIco
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What is "gaslighting"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVBdWSPXyRw
What is Gaslighting | Dr. David Hawkins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLAy6Ju2SMo
16 Gaslighting Examples That Narcissists Use To Manipulate You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvvnlnKuyd8
3 Stages of Gaslighting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC4BTnMvG7Q
10 Ways to Deal With Gaslighting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXG6qG263rM
When you CALL OUT a gaslighter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pniVhhyuKrY
THIS Perfectly Describes A Narcissist's Gaslighting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmxd8osCuAY
How To STOP Gaslighting And Manipulation Before It's Too Late!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7yJP3NzTc4
___________________________________________
What are the top 10 warning signs of
being gaslighted by a narcissist?
1) Things will not add up. Their words and actions do not match. Their excuses and stories don't make sense.
2) Your gut and common sense will be screaming at you that something is badly wrong because their behavior is seriously strange. They will flat out deny that reality as if your eyes and ears are lying to you, claiming there is nothing going on and all is well.
3) They will suggest you are paranoid and irrational for suspecting that something is off.
4) They will tell everyone in your circle that you are mentally unbalanced so nobody will believe you.
5) They will spread other lies about you, often accusing you of the very things they are doing.
6) They will project their behavior onto you directly with accusations. Examples: “you don't love me”, “you're ungrateful and don't appreciate what you have”, “you're cold and heartless”, “you're cheating on me”, “ you always create drama”.
7) They will confuse you with conflicting behavior. One day they are sweetly love bombing with compliments and attention and the next telling you how worthless you are or just being ice cold.
8) They ply you with their go-to manipulation tactics; they try charm, and if that fails, they play the victim and blame everything on you. If that fails, they turn to rage. Watch their eyes to see when the rage is about to come. There is a cold, evil look to them that is terrifying. They can stay in a rage for minutes, hours, days, even weeks on end, raging to the point of becoming delusional. It depends on the narc and the severity of the injury to the ego.
9) Violence is possible with some narcs if you are not sufficiently intimidated by their displays of temper. Be wary.
10) They leave in a huff, pretending to be so offended by your “false accusations” that they can't stand to be around you. I call this the Narc Flounce. It's childishly petulant and often a last resort if you won't give in to their manipulation. The narc may be gone a short time or a long time. He or she will often cease all contact during that time.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-top-10-warning-signs-of-being-gaslighted-by-a-narcissist
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Why do narcissists want to gaslight you?
The narcissist gets away with their nefarious deeds by convincing you that what’s true is not, and what’s not true is actually true, that’s how they get away with whatever it is they want to get away with, it’s a sophisticated form of ‘I didn’t do it’, or ‘it wasn’t me’ that children do (e.g. they didn’t have an affair, it’s you who had the affair instead)
Narcissists obtain perverse pleasure from being contrarian, gaslighting is the ultimate in contrariness because the whole point of gaslighting can be summarized as ‘you’re crazy (or stupid) because I disagree with everything you say or think no matter how reasonable you sound (or how much evidence you provide)’.
It’s weaponized invalidation, by invalidating everything of yours, you no longer know what to say or think, leaving you in a permanent state of cognitive dissonance (which is extremely mentally painful) and the narcissist in a permanent state of glee. Furthermore, every opinion or conviction the narcissists offers as alternative to yours is bizarrely opposite. So bizarrely opposite that you cannot meet them halfway, it’s either abandon truth (and sanity) and believe them or quarrel with them.
Know that it is no accident that they always somehow arrive at the exact opposite of you and yours. Their opinions will be bizarrely opposite of yours. Their gifts will be the opposite of what you told them you wanted. They will arrive too late to pick you up for the airport.
Gaslighting is where contrarianness and passive aggression intersect. The intent is to obtain glee from inducing cognitive dissonance. Your frustration is not an accident. Therefore they will do this even when there is currently no nefarious deed to get away with. It’s simply fun for them.
You are controlled through your beliefs, and nothing exerts greater control than controlling your beliefs of reality. By making you believe in untrue unreality and disbelieve your own true perceptions, you will be made to abandon your original path and walk in the direction the narcissist wants, on order.
Be subject to this one thousand more times and you will become trained to automatically abandon your own ideas and respond automatically to every tug of the leash. You will be led wherever the narcissists whimsically wants, like a mindless animal (and the direction will constantly change whimsically because you are actually being secretly led nowhere).
This is how your will and spirit are broken. This is how you are forcibly converted from a human being into a beast of burden, or an appliance.
What is the single point which ties all three points together?
Narcissists love to toy with you. Toying with you provides crucial entertainment, makes living worthwhile, and allows them to make it through the day, without which they would get bored, and boredom to a narcissist feels like suicidal depression (boredom feels much worse for them than for you). That’s why for their own sake, they have to toy with you.
So it’s vital for you to understand the motivation behind gaslighting (toying with you to cause cognitive dissonance for fun) and the methods (being contrarian, being pointlessly oppositional, invalidation, deliberate misunderstanding and misinterpretation), so that you know that this is just a game they don’t take seriously, which means the way to defeat gaslighting is to keep second guessing them and to remind yourself never to be earnest with them.
Update 14/11/2018
Additionally, gaslighting is a form of psychic violence.
When we express ourselves, we expect a true reflection to return to us. When that happens, it’s validating. It has nothing to do with others agreeing or disagreeing with our opinions, praising or criticizing us. As long as the reflection is true, it is positive and nurturing because it’s rational and reasonable, that absolutely includes telling us ‘no’ or illuminating our flaws.
Other people hold a mirror to us, we know ourselves from what gets reflected back at us. As long as the mirror is rational and reasonable, and the reflection true, what we see is truly who we are. We steer through life by knowing who we are.
The narcissist makes sure they hold a funhouse mirror that returns a twisted reflection, so that you will only ‘know’ a diseased, untrue version of yourself (and hopefully you will one day believe you actually are sick and twisted and fall ill too). Once again, it has got nothing intrinsically to do with ‘yes’ or ‘no’, praise or criticism, it’s the unreasonableness of the reflection that’s harmful.
When a twisted reflection is returned to us, it not only invalidates us, but it also tampers with our sanity and harms our psychic health. It wounds our soul, and it makes us wander into bad alleys in life. This is deliberate.
For example, by misunderstanding everything you say, returning answers that have nothing to do with the question, pretending to not hear you, answering ‘no’ precisely because the only reasonable response is ‘yes’ or answering ‘I don’t know’ when they know you suspect that they do know, the narcissist violates your soul with their overwhelming chaos-filled, nonsensical response and sheer deliberate unreasonableness.
The self we ‘get to know’ from the narcissist is the claim that we are sick and twisted, that we cannot say anything right, which is why we cannot get any correct answers from the narcissist. We will only get to hear insanity about ourselves from the narcissist’s responses.
That’s what the psychic violence of gaslighting is about. Punching you psychically.
At least deliberate criticisms tear you down is frontally. You get punched in the front. That hurts but the front is tough and can take punishment. But to pretend you said something else or heard something else or didn’t say anything or that you heard them when you didn’t is punching you from behind, above, below, or from either side, you’re not ready for those.
Most importantly, you naturally perceive deliberate criticisms as a punch (a form of aggression), and so you harden up and become avoidant, but you don’t naturally perceive gaslighting as a punch, so you instead open up to try harder and clarify with the narcissist, you’ve just wandered into their trap, even more gaslighting will ensue.
The whole day gets swallowed up trying to clarify the first question. And because of that, gaslighting gets through more easily and hits you deeply where deliberate criticisms won’t.
Another example, you want to know what’s for dinner, and the narcissist answers, ‘you mean lunch? by the way dinner will be in 5 minutes’ instead. Notice that you get frustrated. But that frustration isn’t from not getting your way, it’s from the sheer irreverence of the answer.
That irreverence was intentional.
By returning a twisted reflection back to us each time, the narcissist pummels us with their psychic fist, hopefully into rage or insanity. You still don’t know what’s for dinner, you weren’t referring to lunch, you didn’t want to know when dinner will be ready, you just wanted someone to acknowledge your beingness through your question, but instead you got someone who pretended you asked a different question and gave you irrelevant information just to covertly mess with you to make you feel non-existent through making sure you never get your answer (but you get a lot of everything else that you never wanted).
The whole point of it was to antagonize you while hiding it.
You will go mad if every single question you asked only gets a funny answer, everything you said either gets ignored or returned with deliberate unreasonableness, you get favours you never asked for, and you never get anything you actually asked for, and this is kept up for years.
That’s the plan.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-gaslight-you
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The Bad Seed (1956) Official Trailer
Christine Penmark seems to have it all: a lovely home, a loving husband and the most "perfect" daughter in the world. But since childhood, Christine has suffered from the most terrible recurring nightmare. And her "perfect" daughter's accomplishments include lying, theft and possibly much, much worse MURDER. Only Christine knows the truth about her daughter and only Christine's father knows the truth about her nightmare.
"Psycho Narc brat in pig tails. If children are our future, we are doomed" -Ron Tello
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZt7gtFiVJk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2O8azHQnB4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QRCjPJVSXM
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How will a narcissist act when you call them out on their behaviour?
:roughend:
They will firstly act like they don’t know what you are talking about, and what problem are you trying to create now?
They will then act like you are always making issues over nothing and all they are doing is trying - they will have a look of “not this again” on their face - no matter what the “this” is.
They may then come to the party with a kinda admission never a sorry - but a blame game of “well, if you didn’t do what you did in the first place, then I wouldn’t of had to do what I did!” It is not my fault type attitude - and again, you are the main one with all the issues and they are simply just trying to breathe around you.. They act as you do, like they are having to walk on egg shells around you.. trying to love you to see sense.
Their first and foremost act is to defend, deflect and take the anger stance - why oh why do they have to keep putting up with your bullshit?
Their behavior is and always will be your problem. Without you causing these issues, they would not have to behave in doing xyz treatment. - You are and always will be the cause of EVERYTHING the narcissist does, said or did. the fault is and always will be placed at your feet.
Flocking exhausting right?
They will lie, cover up, blame, shift the narrative.. You, you will feel confused, guilty, shamed and try to get to that avalanche of ‘even ground’ that does not exist when you are with a narcissist..
The longer you stay and put up with their never ending cycle of bullshit, the more you will become a little more and more unhinged - in the end, you won’t even want to bring shite up, cause an issue, have an opinion, talk about anything - as this will only set them off.. and Lord knows, we don’t want that flocking silent treatment or discard again, do we?
Anyone that partners with a narcissist is set across three modes of operation.
Fight - not so much anymore, more in reactive abuse once the bullshit levels creep to boiling point and off you go - exploding all over the place - causing issues again….
Flight - you can’t anymore, due to the addiction you carry for the narcissist…. flight mode turned off
Freeze - In the end, you are mostly freeze… until you decide to RUN.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/How-will-a-narcissist-act-when-you-call-them-out-on-their-behaviour?topAns=1477743752655226
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7 Reasons Why The Narcissistic Woman Want To Make You Suffer
Join us as we explore the psychological reasons behind why narcissistic women may inflict suffering. Narcissism often involves a need for control and power over others. Making you suffer can serve as a way for them to assert dominance and feel a sense of superiority.
By shedding light on these motives, we aim to empower you with knowledge and strategies to protect yourself. Recognizing the patterns of manipulation and cruelty is the first step towards reclaiming your own well-being and happiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d49mYy0oiKI
:tello: "This is exactly the monster in my life."
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How To Use Narcissistic Abuse As Fuel To Improve Yourself
While navigating abuse is undeniably challenging, it can also be a catalyst for profound personal growth and empowerment.
Join us as we uncover strategies to harness the pain of narcissistic abuse and channel it into positive change. From reclaiming your sense of identity to cultivating resilience and self-love, there are actionable steps you can take to turn adversity into strength.
By reframing your experience and focusing on self-healing, you can emerge from narcissistic abuse with newfound wisdom and resilience. Together, let's explore how to transform trauma into triumph.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RkeEN1n3Ts
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10 Uncommon Things ONLY Sigma Males Understand
Are you a Sigma male? Do you feel like you see the world differently than others? Well, you're not alone." Welcome to the fascinating world of Sigma males, a breed of men who defy societal norms and expectations. In a world where we often categorize men as Alphas, Betas, and everything in between, Sigma males stand distinct, marching to the beat of their own drums.
While Alphas dominate the scene with their charisma and Betas often play supporting roles, Sigma males carve out a unique space of their own. They are the solitary wolves, the introverted leaders, and the silent observers who exude an air of mystery and intrigue. They are self-sufficient, emotionally intelligent, and non-competitive, yet they command respect and attention without even trying.
Sigma males understand things most don't. They see the world through a different lens, and they thrive in their own unique way. Intrigued? Dive in with us as we unravel the mystique of the Sigma male.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAm_sqWVVpE
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How Empaths Prevent Narcissists From Making Their Lives Miserable
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2hbMUInLbI
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10 Mind Games Narcissists Play To Control You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SxXMycKI7I
7 Tricky Narcissist Mind Games That Work (Unless You Know)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YbsH2jw5iI
This Is How The Narcissist Reacts When They Leave But You Don't Chase Them|NPD| Narcissist Exposed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efRLLhWxR5o&t=18s
If You Hear This From a Narcissist Run, Common Phrases from Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PIKeQjr2pg
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:groucho: :goodidea: :beerontap:
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If You Hear This From a Narcissist Run, Common Phrases from Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PIKeQjr2pg
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The Red Flags 🚩 You Missed with the Covert Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gSEwLs4P1M
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How did I get fooled by a narcissist?
A narcissist is a fool to take advantage of you. Narcissists take advantage of your trust and feelings for narcissistic supply. Taking advantage of trust and feelings falls under the categories of selfishness, madness, and parasitic behavior.
Narcissists come into relationships by faking a good person. Anyone can fall victim to narcissists. Narcissists show they are kind, humble, loving, and caring people. It's very hard for any person to resist the drug they give in the form of love bombing .
Leave narcissists; block your narcissists from everywhere. Focus on self-improvement, self-care, and self-love.
You are not a fool for loving and trusting someone who isn't capable of maintaining trust, honesty and integrity.
https://thevulnerablenarcissist.quora.com/How-did-I-get-fooled-by-a-narcissist
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What is a narcissist in a nutshell?
https://narcissismandphilosophy.quora.com/What-is-a-narcissist-in-a-nutshell
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How do narcissists act when they lose control?
When a narcissist loses control over you, they panic. You have triggered narcissists' biggest fear of losing supply. Narcissists don't feel good when they can't control you. Narcissists get angry, frustrated, and agitated; they don't have an idea what to do.
Narcissists will start blaming you for everything; they will tell you you don't love them. Narcissists will make you feel bad. Narcissists may become more passive and aggressive to mess with your life and routine. Narcissists will use all sorts of tactics to control you. Narcissists may even employ silent treatment to punish you.
Finally, narcissists will start talking nonsense about you to people outside by running smear campaigns. Narcissists will start looking for other options for narcissistic supply.
P. S You have to leave narcissist because narcissists will take it as challenge to break you down.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-act-when-they-lose-control
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What do narcissists do when things get real and the victim has had enough?
They move forward from random bullying, diminishing, and abuse - to full-scale abuse and verbal assault. They will rant and rage to try to get their “victim” in line (but the victim is now in “survivor” mode), but it no longer works. So they make up horrible things about the person and convince themselves they are better off w/o them (and often share the BS w/others).
And then…they move on to the rest of their supply - looking for the next one to become their “main supply”. They do NOT live in reality.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-do-when-things-get-real-and-the-victim-has-had-enough
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Why do they lie and continue to hurt me? What is the gain?
Narcissists lie to have control over conversation and to prove themselves right. Narcissists lie to have control, authority, and power in relationships. Narcissists don't want to look flawed at any cost in a relationship. Narcissists will keep lying to look good in relationships.
Narcissists have unrealistic expectations from relationships that can't be fulfilled even in dreams, so they start treating their partners badly for small reasons. Once a narcissist gets bored of relationships, they are unable to handle flaws and conflicts in a healthy way.
Narcissists come into relationships for their needs; narcissists are selfish and parasitic in nature. Narcissists don't want love; they want narcissistic supply from you in the form of control. Narcissists are emotionally like kids; they want everything according to them. It doesn't matter whether you get angry, sad, or hurt.
Narcissists manage their shaky self-esteem and start abusing their partners to feel good, so they end abusing their partners.
Leaving narcissists is the only solution you have.
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Why-do-they-lie-and-continue-to-hurt-me-What-is-the-gain
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How Sigma Males Incite FEAR In Others
What if I told you that it is human nature to fear things that we don’t understand? Well, engrained within our coding, lays a deep-seated dread of the unknown. We fear the unknown because of the unknown dangers of what it may bring. If we fear the unknown because it can bring us danger, than what type of man in this world is capable of inciting the most fear in others? Contrary to common belief, it's not always the dominant alpha or the disgruntled beta male who incites the most fear. Instead, it's the sigma male, a lesser-known and rarer breed of men, who holds this title. Making up a very small percentage of the male population, sigma males exude an air of mystery and possess qualities that are elusive to many. Their unconventional approach to life, coupled with a tendency to operate outside the social hierarchy, often leaves others feeling perplexed and intimidated. In this video, I’ll be discussing 7 ways in which sigma males incite fear in others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4NJeb87p8E
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Why would a narcissist fear you?
A narcissist might fear someone for several reasons, often tied to how that person affects the narcissist's self-perception, control, and sense of security. Here are some reasons why a narcissist might fear you:
Exposure: If you see through their façade and recognize their manipulative tactics, a narcissist might fear being exposed. You represent a threat to their carefully constructed image and the risk of others seeing their true nature.
Independence and Strength: Narcissists often rely on others' dependence and subservience for control. If you demonstrate independence, strength, or the ability to live happily without them, it challenges their power and control.
Rejection or Abandonment: Narcissists fear rejection and abandonment, especially by those they value or seek validation from. If you have the ability to reject or abandon them, it strikes at their deep-seated insecurities.
Retaliation or Confrontation: If you have the means and willingness to confront or retaliate against their abusive behavior, a narcissist might fear the consequences. They often prefer targets who are less likely to fight back.
Superior Competence or Success: If you surpass them in areas they value, such as career success, social influence, or talent, they might fear being overshadowed or seen as inferior in comparison.
Emotional and Psychological Insight: People with deep emotional and psychological insight can be intimidating to narcissists because they can understand and articulate the narcissist's behavior and motives, potentially undermining their tactics
.
It's important to note that a narcissist's fear is often about protecting their ego and maintaining their perceived superiority and control. This fear is less about the individual's qualities and more about how those qualities impact the narcissist's self-perception and manipulative strategies.
https://www.quora.com/Why-would-a-narcissist-fear-you
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20 Tactics Narcissists Use To Break You (STAND STRONG!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt7QwuL9SNI&t=120s
12 Passive Aggressive Tactics Covert Narcissists Love To Use
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mztSUPynskY
10 Secrets ALL Narcissists Keep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnakWdIzgbk
10 Boundaries You Need With A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwffJmL5x6E
10 Early Warning Signs of the Covert Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mym8D3TrrU
9 Very Subtle Signs Of Covert Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzO4-HDs3sw&t=300s
7 Ways COVERT NARCISSISTS Tell On Themselves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2YBpIqhai8
7 Reasons You'll Never Understand A Narcissist (the walking contradiction)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFPJfti0N1E
6 Little Known Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-sJDVfJcrg
6 Ways to Make a Narcissist Lose Their Mind
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuJ0vogSlmA
5 Subtle Manipulation Tactics Narcissists Use For Control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lTp5d5LcxY
5 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist (Keep Peace With a Narcissist)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvzlRjrBHZk
5 Gaslighting Red Flags That Will Expose A Toxic Person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wvRRzbT-iI
3 SIGNS You're Dealing With A COVERT NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW1zd-ePPoQ
A Covert Narcissist's #1 Tactic, Hands Down
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pw6rym2o_Vs&t=129s
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:piper: :hunchback: :bounce: :jandoor: :vent: :drama: :shame: :guilt:
:rawprawn: :troll2: :neener: :ni: :notsmee:
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35 Phrases To Disarm a Narcissist and Why They
Do the Trick, According to Therapists
Here's exactly how to handle confrontations with a narcissist.
All of us deal with difficult people in our lives, no matter who we are or who we choose to keep in our circle. But sometimes, that difficulty can reach a whole new level, and there may be someone who continually puts you down, makes you feel small and batters your self-esteem.
These individuals are called narcissists. In fact, narcissism is a diagnosable condition. It’s called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and experts estimate that around 5% of people have this disorder.
35 Phrases To Confront
and Disarm a Narcissist
If you’ve determined that you are indeed dealing with a narcissist in your life, it’s time to be ready with an arsenal of helpful and self-esteem-building phrases that can disarm a narcissist and create clear boundaries. According to Scigliano, all of the following phrases can be interchanged easily in a wide variety of situations with a narcissist.
1. “I need you to listen to me.”
This is a basic need you should have met during any conversation, even one with a narcissist. Since narcissists “tend to have little to no empathy for fellow humans,” as Mahler puts it, the narcissist likely won’t be turning a listening ear your way and could use some reminding.
2. “Please stop interrupting me.”
Scigliano says that trying to have a rational conversation with a narcissist or reasoning with them is unrealistic, so you can wholeheartedly expect interruptions throughout your conversation. You’ll need to ask them to stop interrupting you.
3. “I am not comfortable with how you’re speaking to me.”
While a narcissist will say demeaning things to you, it’s also all about how they’re delivering those words. If they raise their voice and start having an angry tone, you can say that you’re not comfortable with how they’re speaking to you.
4. “I need you to not yell.”
For this phrase, Scigliano says that you want to keep in mind that your goal needs to be de-escalating the narcissist rather than risking the narcissist becoming further enraged. Although it may be impossible, try to get the narcissist to calm down and lower their voice.
5. “I am on your side.”
This phrase edges toward kindness, but if you really are on the narcissist’s side and genuinely want good things for them, say it. At the very least, a hint of kindness will catch the narcissist off-guard.
6. “I need you to stop.”
When attempting to communicate with a narcissist, it’s best to keep phrases short and to the point. Scigliano says that instead of being more open, you need to be more emotionally closed off from the narcissist. “Instead of sharing their feelings, they need to focus only on objective facts,” she says. One of these objective phrases that may put an end to a heated conversation is, “I need you to stop.”
7. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to walk away.”
And do just that. Scigliano says that ultimately, establishing boundaries and sticking to them is the most effective way to handle confrontations in the moment as well as avoid future ones.
8. “We can talk again when you can speak kindly to me.”
Since narcissism can cause a great deal of dysfunction in relationships, kindness may not something you come across very often. But you can remind the person to find it in themselves to speak kindly to you, especially if you’re a spouse or close friend.
9. “No.”
It’s as simple as that. “No” is a complete sentence, and it can immediately establish a clear boundary. It doesn’t go into detail. It doesn’t open you up for additional critical words. It’s the opposite of being vulnerable.
“Avoid making yourself emotionally vulnerable, because the narcissist will often take advantage of your vulnerability, now or sometime in the future,” Scigliano says.
10. “I hear what you’re saying.”
In a debate with a narcissist, all you have to do is acknowledge that you can hear their words. You don’t have to go out of your way to agree with them by any means.
11. “What is it you want me to know?”
This phrase can encourage some clear communication from the narcissist instead of shrouding it in insults and mean comments.
12. “What is it you want to hear from me?”
Again, this is a phrase that centers on communicating succinctly and clearly.
13. “You’re right.”
Before you gasp at this one, Scigliano says that you can say this without meaning that it’s true. If you say it calmly and evenly, it will absolutely disarm a narcissist, and they just might not know how to reply.
14. “What is really bothering you?”
Since narcissists go around with a viewpoint of “the world owes me,” as Mahler puts it, narcissists can often feel agitated and disgruntled with how they’re treated. Calmly, and genuinely, ask the person what is bothering them, and you may get to the bottom of things.
15. “I don’t deserve to be spoken to this way.”
This phrase is another one that establishes a defined boundary.
Related: 35 Common Gaslighting Phrases in Relationships and How To Respond, According to Therapists
16. “I am not able to discuss this right now.”
This phrase will quickly put an end to an unpleasant conversation, and it will mean even more if you walk away immediately after saying it. Additionally, Mahler says that it’s key to use “I” statements as often as possible, which will be viewed as assertive and prioritizing your own needs.
17. “I have explained my point of view, and I am no longer willing to continue this conversation.”
If you feel you have said your peace and gotten out every word you wanted to say, put an end to the conversation with this phrase.
18. “I will be removing myself from this conversation if this discussion starts to lack civility.”
This is an effective phrase to use if you see the conversation starting to go off the rails. If the narcissist begins raising their voice or using unkind language, break out this phrase and they may rethink what they’re saying.
19. “This is what I am discussing and I will not be discussing anything else.”
Cool. Calm. Straightforward. Getting emotional is the quickest way to make the narcissist feel as if they have the upper hand. Say this phrase and simply stick to the facts.
20. “I have five minutes to discuss this, and after that, I will be ending this conversation.”
Since narcissists continually seek validation from their external environment, they may try to drag out a heated debate longer than they need to just for the enjoyment of feeling superior. Put a hard stop to this by timing the conversation. You can even set a timer on your phone and walk away as soon as five minutes are up.
21. “I know how I feel.”
The narcissist will try to gaslight you into thinking that your thoughts and emotions aren’t valid. Instead, back up your side of the argument by saying, “I know how I feel.”
22. “People misunderstanding my boundaries is not my responsibility.”
Mahler says that a person with NPD may purposefully break boundaries to gain a sense of power over another person. Don’t allow them to do this. It’s not your fault that the narcissist misunderstands or even disrespects your boundaries, and you can remind them of that.
23. “I am okay with people misunderstanding me.”
The narcissist is trying to get a rise out of you. Instead, you can shrug your shoulders and plainly say, “I am okay with people misunderstanding me.” Let them know that you’re good with who you are and don’t put stock in others’ opinions, especially if they’re coming from a narcissist.
24. “I am convicted in my truth about the situation.”
Stick to your guns and stand by everything you’ve said during the conversation.
25. “I am aware that we don’t share the same opinion.”
Not everyone has to share the same opinion, but this is a hard truth for a narcissist to swallow. Since they have low self-worth and derive their sense of value from external sources, as Mahler says, they want everyone to think the same things as them. Remind the person that there’s no reason for you both to have to share the same opinion.
26. “I will not entertain this conversation.”
Scigliano says that narcissists will use tactics that enable them to push away anyone they perceive as a threat, and this threat can come out as nasty comments during an exchange. Let them know that they won’t have this power over you and say, “I will not entertain this conversation.”
27. “I know what happened. You are allowed to have a different understanding of the event.”
Again, you may not both agree, and that’s fine.
28. “Okay.”
Mahler calls this approach the “Grey Rock Method,” which is not giving an emotional response at all or giving them as little a response as possible. Every time they say something, you could just say, “Okay.” They won’t know how to respond because they want to see you react.
29. “Hmm.”
Even just a sound or grunt under your breath is enough to disarm a narcissist, particularly since you’re not giving them a leg to stand on with a bunch of emotional words.
30. “Uh-huh.”
Sound disinterested even. During a heated conversation, you could interject an “uh-huh” here and there to appear as if you have better things to do, which will get under a narcissist’s skin.
31. “I can’t control how you feel about me.”
You can’t control others. You can only control yourself. This phrase reminds the narcissist of this universal truth, and you can remind yourself in the process.
32. “You are certainly entitled to your opinion.”
Mahler says that blame-shifting and deflection behaviors are rampant during confrontations with a narcissist, so remind the person that they can have their opinion, no matter how poorly it’s delivered.
33. “I am sorry you feel that way.”
Note: you are not apologizing for anything you’ve done, because you’ve done nothing wrong. You can say, “I am sorry you feel that way,” and walk away. The narcissist may even feel a pang of guilt after you say this.
34. “Thank you for your input.”
This is an emotion-free statement that doesn’t uphold anything the narcissist has said.
35. Say nothing at all.
Scigliano says, “From a safety perspective, consider the level of abuse that the narcissist is capable of inflicting. If they have ever indicated a propensity toward violence, you need to be extremely careful with what you say, and sometimes, saying nothing is safest.”
https://parade.com/living/phrases-to-disarm-a-narcissist
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180 Best Insults to Destroy Your Enemies
Comebacks and insults that will destroy your worst enemies
If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks:
I was today years old when I realized I didn’t like you.
Someday you’ll go far. And I really hope you stay there.
Oops, my bad. I could’ve sworn I was dealing with an adult.
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?
Remember that time you were saying that thing I didn’t care about? Yeah, that is now.
You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
I’m busy right now, can I ignore you another time?
Oh, you don’t like being treated the way you treat me? That must suck.
I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation.
N’Sync said it best, “BYE, BYE, BYE!”
I’ve been called worse things by better men.
You’re a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.
You bring everyone so much joy! You know, when you leave the room. But, still.
How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation?
The best comebacks ever spoken
If you want to get the last word into an argument, you need to use these great jokes:
Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
Your face makes onions cry.
Did I invite you to the barbecue? Then why are you all up in my grill?
Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.
You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
It’s impossible to underestimate you.
Wow, your maker really didn’t waste time giving you a personality, huh?
Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.
I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
You are the human version of period cramps.
Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you
Don’t hold yourself back from saying what you’re thinking. Get the best comebacks and insults below:
You’re cute. Like my dog. He also chases his tail for entertainment.
You are like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day.
You have an entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Your face is just fine, but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.
I’m not a nerd. I’m just smarter than you.
I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull.
Child, I’ve forgotten more than you ever knew.
I’m an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste.
Bye. Hope to see you never.
Don’t worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded.
If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass.
Complete this sentence for me: “I never want to see you ————!”
The funniest, most savage insults on the internet
Here are the best insults to use on your worst enemies, or more importantly, your best friends:
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.
Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?
OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies, how silly of me.
Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
I’d rather treat my baby’s diaper rash than have lunch with you.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross, today.
I only take you everywhere I go, so I don’t have to kiss you goodbye.
We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, we’ve been married for 10 years.
When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you?
Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.
That sounds like a you problem.
You have miles to go before you reach mediocre.
The top smart-ass comebacks on the internet
If you’re going to use an insult, at least use a clever one. Here are a few of the best on the internet:
I see no evil, and I definitely don’t hear your evil.
I’m just glad that you’re stringing words into sentences now.
Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.
Mirrors can’t talk. Lucky for you, they can’t laugh, either.
You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
You are proof God has a sense of humor.
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
You must have been born on a highway. That’s where most accidents happen.
Grab a straw, because you suck.
You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ.
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait.
Comebacks to use on your best friends and family
Use the savage quotes below in order to show others that you are more intelligent than they are:
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
I told my therapist about you.
Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
Hey, you have something on your chin. No, the 3rd one down.
I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral.
People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.
You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth.
If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
You’re my favorite person… besides every other person I’ve ever met.
You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
I believed in evolution until I met you.
You are proof that evolution can go in reverse.
If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything!
The most hilarious, savage comebacks people will love
The quotes below are perfect for showing someone you can handle yourself in a fight:
I know you are, but what am I?
Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.
Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
Sorry, not sorry.
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
In the land of the witless, you would be king.
I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed.
I like the way you try.
I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.
People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes.
When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change… except the direction I was walking in.
You look like something I would draw with my left hand.
I look ugly? Good. I was trying to look like you today.
Perfect insults to share with the people who annoy you
When someone insults you, don’t be afraid to use the comebacks below to insult them right back:
I would never date you. I’m lonely, not desperate.
I don’t have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you.
My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.
I’d say you’re ‘dumb as a rock,’ but at least a rock can hold a door open.
I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.
You’re a conversation starter. Not when you are around, but once you leave.
First off: Brush your teeth.
I find the fact that you’ve lived this long both surprising and disappointing.
You’re impossible to underestimate.
You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste.
Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot.
You are the reason why shampoo has instructions.
I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.
Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you.
If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, I’d turn back around.
The insult that will shut down any argument
These insults are brutal, but they’re also hilarious. Share them whenever you get the chance!
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
You should really come with a warning label.
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.
If I wanted to hear from an anatomical conundrum, I’d fart.
I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence.
Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go.
Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality.
Don’t you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning?
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
You see that door? I want you on the other side of it.
Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.
If you’re going to act like a turd, go lay on the yard.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Isn’t there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of?
Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot.
Insults that will make your enemies laugh aloud
These insults are going to convince others to stop treating you so poorly:
You look like a ‘before’ picture.
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon.
I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
Your only purpose in life is to become an organ donor.
Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud?
Earth is full. Go home.
You’re about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
Aww, it’s so cute when you try to talk about things you don’t understand.
You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about.
19 Smart-ass insults to destroy people who are rude to you
These are the best insults to use on anyone who gets on your nerves:
The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana.
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
Don’t try to think too hard. You’re so stupid it might sprain your brain.
Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
You’re living proof it’s possible to live without a brain.
How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since it’s empty?
Brains aren’t everything. In your case, they’re nothing.
I have seen people like you. But I had to pay admission.
Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up? Because that’s how I feel right now.
Two wrongs don’t make a right. Take your parents, for instance.
I’d slap you but I don’t want to make your face look any better.
I will slap you so hard even Google won’t be able to find you.
One day, I hope you’ll choke on the crap you talk.
You have a face only a mother could love.
If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional.
I hope your next blowjob is from a shark.
You’re a bad person. Enough said.
You’re the type of person who can’t read the room. You don’t understand when you aren’t wanted.
Great comebacks that come from famous quotes
Use these quotes to put your enemies in their place:
“What, like it’s hard?” — Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
“Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you. – Seinfeld
“Don’t get bitter, just get better.” — Alyssa Edwards, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Impersonating Beyoncè is not your destiny, child.” — RuPaul, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Where’d you get your outfits, girl, American Apparently Not?” — Trixie Mattel, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Go back to Party City, where you belong!” — Phi Phi O’Hara, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“You are so full of crap, the toilet’s jealous.” — Jinkx Monsoon, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“It looks like she went into Claire’s Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, ‘I’ll take it!'”— Bianca Del Rio, RuPaul’s Drag Race
“Check your lipstick before you come for me.” — Naomi Smalls, RuPaul’s Drag Race
If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.” — Margaret Thatcher Thought Catalog Logo Mark
https://thoughtcatalog.com/january-nelson/2021/01/best-insults/
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Funny insults for adults
1. Can I have the name of your hair salon? I need to know where not to go.
2. I forgot the world revolves around you. My bad!
3. You seem to be suffering from delusions of adequacy.
4. My days of not taking you seriously have come to a middle.
5. You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.
6. You do a great job combing your hair. It’s impressive how you’re able to hide the horns.
7. You have a face for radio.
8. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
9. If you were a spice, you’d be flour.
10. You may have a sparsely attended funeral.
11. I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?
12. You’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.
13. Don’t worry—the first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
14. May your life be as pleasant as you are.
15. You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
16. Your biscuit’s not done in the middle.
17. You’re just like a Russian doll—full of yourself.
18. Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.
19. Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly.
20. You’ve got all the tact of a bowling ball.
https://www.rd.com/list/funny-insults/
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54 Dark Jokes for Anyone with a Morbid Sense of Humor
1. I don’t have a carbon footprint.
I just drive everywhere.
2. The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted.
3. When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
4. What did the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs say?
“T. rex, I’m coming for my hug!”
5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away…
Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
6. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
7. I visited my friend at his new house. He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.
8. I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.”
So we stopped playing chess.
9. Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”
10. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn’t talking to me.
11. Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
12. I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.
13. Never break someone’s heart. They only have one.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
14. My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
15. I childproofed my house
Somehow they still got in!
16. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
17. What’s worse than biting into an apple and discovering a worm?
Biting into an apple and discovering half a worm.
18. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
19. My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried — I think she’s jokindkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf
20. You’re not completely useless.
You can always serve as a bad example.
21. A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree complains. “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
22. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?
None. Historians have suggested most pirates would have been illiterate.
23. “Welcome back to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today!”
24. My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!
25. What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour? Its butt.
26. My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.
https://www.rd.com/article/dark-jokes/
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Why Narcissist MUST Sacrifice YOU to False Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exuXz65Wvk8
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11 COWARDLY Tactics Of The COVERT NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unyspI8AtSI
To: Ron Tello
From: Luka Luciano
10/11/2016 6:06AM
FYI: Sherry has been talking shite about you saying you're a freeloader living off her. Lazy bum drunk...she is spending nights with Kevin in town, says she made you sleep in her RV. Not in a relationship any more. Planning to give you the boot. A conspiracy, Pretty low. That is why I am writing to you. I hate cheaters, liars and backstabbers. Lame ass way to do things. She made herself out as a victim. Not cool...
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Why are simple conversations with narcissists so exhausting?
Great question.
Narcissists need to be the centre of attention while also maintaining a sense of superiority and dominance over those around them. As a result, a narcissist will often come across as being an expert on most if not all things / topic of conversation which often leaves little room for collaborative discussion.
Additionally, a narcissist will often turn any conversation around so as to be about them which again leaves little to no room for anyone else to expresses themselves or make themselves known which can understandably make others feel taken for granted as well generally devalued and minimised.
For this reason, conversations with a narcissist are often exhausting as they will openly declare others opinions as being wrong or challenge others perspectives all as a way of exerting their own perceived expertise.
Ultimately a narcissist loves the sound of their own voice and would prefer to talk rather than listen so that the interests and perspectives of others becomes conversationally invalid.
Everyone's opinions and perspectives are valid and as such everyone should have the opportunity to express their ideas and points of view in a way and environment that allows them to feel heard and valued.
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-simple-conversations-with-narcissists-so-exhausting?topAns=315691035
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6 MISTAKES That Expose The Narcissist's Game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z9PkihKVzk
@haneefahmuhammad3447
1 month ago
Its amazing how they try to make you weak to feel stronger so that they can succeed in controlling you. It feels empowering when you finally realize that your empathy & intuition alone was stronger than their entire being the whole time.
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5 Signs You've Hurt A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwUKv3JUxEg
Silent treatment isn't because they are hurt. Its because they are wrong and refuse to admit it.
No matter how many times you hurt these narcissists, they are not going to change for the better. It is going to be a never ending cycle over and over again till they age out and their supply starts to dwindle away. Then this will drive them to the point of narcissistic collapse.
You can beg and beg to be told what is wrong and they refuse. So if nothing is wrong then I don’t have anything to fix.
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7 Stages Of Detoxing From A Covert Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnMdYr-1Zbg
@SilverEaselArtist
6 months ago (edited)
Guys, she's so right. We need to stop researching this too much. It does put our thoughts on it in a relentless cycle. I find when i get off of this researching for answers , my head space is clearer. We need to go back and do things that we loved before the narcissist. Its okay that we are hurt, but lets not let it overtake us entirely. Stay healthy out there.
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
I'm not researching. I'm sharing.
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7 Reasons Why Narcissists are Mean To You (You Won't Believe #4!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXCVVG77c-E
@galaxy98765
2 days ago
Narcissists get so mad if the attention isn't on them. When I was younger and guests came to our house to visit, sometimes they would ask my mother to play the piano. So she would play one piece (just one!) and my malignant narc father would be extra mean and sulking around the house for two weeks, because the attention wasn't on him. My mother finally asked our relatives/guests to not ask her to play the piano anymore. Sad that she had to go that far, just to avoid his behavior.
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How Narcissists Play with Your Emotions (Don't Fall for Their Trap!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMbu2N6Vtc
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How Narcissists React When They Think You're Too Strong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-zZESSt_X0
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What does a narcissist do when they can't control you?
I am pretty sure i answered a similar question, but this story is too ridiculous not to repeat. After 20 yrs, our marriage was not going well. I had a very good idea who my husband was by this time, but was still amazed it played out as it did. I had caught him in many lies and possible affairs over the years, and decided he was a pathological liar. He had lost control over me and he knew it.
When it is said that narcissists never change, it is so true. For 20 yrs he came home from “work” and put his briefcase in the home office, and then he stopped. So when he was asleep I grabbed the keys to his car and went out to the garage. His car was locked, another new action, so i looked all over and found his briefcase in the trunk. Inside was a file labeled “divorce”, an attorney's business card and my tax return. Wow!! I was not expecting that.
I put it all back, locked the car back up and went back into the house. The next day when he came home I asked where his briefcase was, and he said in the car. I responded “with the divorce file that you did not want me to know about?” He looked me straight in the eye and said, “There is no divorce file and I have not been to an attorney”. He was shaking. I called my attorney, made an appt to meet with her and gave her info on narcissists and let her know we would be dealing with this.
In a few days he “delivered” the divorce papers to me; illegal in the state of NV. Nevada requires a process server to deliver divorce papers. His attorney must have decided to let him do what he wanted, no sense arguing with someone that thought they knew more. I think he wanted to see my reaction, and decided to hand me the papers himself.
I immediately called my daughter on speaker and told her what he had done right in front of him. My daughter knew that was illegal, her husband is in law enforcement, and told me not to sign a thing and contact my attorney. It could have been a simple process; no fault in NV, divide assets, your done. Because his income was double mine, he had to pay all my attorney fees, move expenses and divide everything 50/50. He drug out the divorce for over 3 months arguing about petty little things, never responding to changes, all the time running up my attorney fees which he had to pay by court order.
Then the threats started; he would never pay me alimony, he would quit his job first. So I requested in the decree to have it all up front when the house sold. While I was at work he started taking boxes I had packed that were my things to move. That was followed with me threatening a restraining order. It was never ending until the day before Christmas when the judge granted the divorce.
Once he knew he had lost control he went for full revenge. Maybe he wanted me to beg him to stay, but I didn't. A true narcissist, he thought he would do just what he wanted with no thought that the laws DID apply to him.
AND, He had the nerve to call me a few months later on my birthday to wish me a happy birthday. I let him know we are not friends, and I never wanted to hear from him again. Its almost laughable except this is a person I loved, and thought loved me. Definitely an experience i could have lived without and never want to go through again.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-do-when-they-cant-control-you?topAns=1477743740400791
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10 Things Only Narcissists Can Say
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-WgLrVvEc4
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Now once upon a time
In this village of the damned
I took my shot at greatness
And the goddamn gun was jammed
So I'm in a drunken state
'Cause I can't take life straight
And if I dull my eyes enough
The brightness fades
I left my heart in San Francisco
And my brain in Los Angeles
My heart just made me bitter
And my brain just made me dangerous
I don't miss either one
But I look into the sun
And I'd give anything
For one good pair of shades
The world is a wasteland
From Green Bay to Graceland
There's no one fit
To lead the human race
And you all know what we are
The throwbacks, the retards
The ever growing face of human waste
I first fell off the wagon
On the open road to nowhere
And I guess I'd still be draggin'
If I thought that I could go there
And return to sing this song
But I knew all along
It's a one-way trip
And I can't pay the fare
All my heroes are gone
And their figures cast in lead
From the fountains at their feet
To the bird shite on their head
And I can't help but wonder
As they lay six feet under
Did they die for me
Or did they even care?
The world is a wasteland
From Green Bay to Graceland
There's no one fit
To lead the human race
And you all know what we are
The throwbacks, the retards
The ever growing face of human waste
Sloppy Seconds - "Human Waste" (Acoustic Version)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB8TiPwg7zI
@omglauraelizabeth
8 years ago
This is one of the best songs ever written in the history of music. Thank you, Sloppy Seconds.
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This is Why You Feel CRAZY Around a Narcissist"Word Salad"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5lZj-PFvAo
There is no "conversation" with a narcissist....
You've described their approach to "problem solving" exactly! They don't want to solve problems. They want to shift blame, win, lie, gaslight, project, confuse and so on.
You'll feel crazy around someone when they drive you there.
They love playing head games.
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The Sociopaths Smear Campaign Top 7 Lies They Spread About You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do96HVkhjg0
@oneirologic4462
5 days ago
If gullible people would stop believing gossip, demand evidence and consider the source, then smear campaigns could never succeed.
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What is narcissist smear campaign?
This is when a narcissist is going to go all out to discredit your character, to ruin your reputation, to make out that you have intentions and motives that you simply do not have, in order for their narcissism to protect themselves, and for people to look poorly on you and give the narcissist sympathetic attention.
Well, also with some narcissistic people because they genuinely believe that you are the one that caused all the issues, and they're all sweetness and light and completely innocent in it all, so they will smear your name because they don't want to see you succeed. They don't want to see you do well. They're envious of you, so they're seeking to take you down so that they feel superior to you, or they don't want to take responsibility, so by shifting the blame over to you, they can also gain sympathetic attention from those around you.
They're either envious and want to take everything away from you, or they're looking to protect themselves to save their own skin, and they set the environment with their smear campaign so no matter what you do, it seems to match what they're saying about you.
They provoke you, and then they accuse you of being the bitter one and the jealous one and that crazy one, and due to a relationship when your emotions are all over the place, sometimes the person who is acting emotionally unstable is the person who has been emotionally abused, and the person who's acting all calm and rational and playing the victim is the one who abused that person.
Not in every case, more often than not, narcissistic people tend to smear your name by twisting the story so everything that they did to you, they're going to claim that you did to them. So, if they cheated on you, they're going to claim that you cheated on them.
If they had alcohol or drug or any addictions, they're going to claim that you're the one with the addictions. They can actually entice you into their addiction, such as alcohol, so you become dependent on the alcohol with all the anxieties and everything, and then they up and leave you, and they're also drink heavily. Yeah, they blame you for being the one with the alcohol problems. Narcissistic people go all out to make sure that people look poorly on you while they gain the attention that they believe that they're entitled to.
When it comes to dealing with the narcissist and the smear campaign, the best way to deal with this is don't leave them to it. Don't say anything to them because the more you chase them, the more they believe within their own minds that they are important to you and they are special to you, and they will continue those games while ever they get the attention from you.
https://www.quora.com/search?q=smear%20campaign
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How do you make a covert narcissist stop their smear campaign?
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-make-a-covert-narcissist-stop-their-smear-campaign
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Narcissists Smear Campaign - The Psychology Behind Why People BELIEVE Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAvIBv8nGhE
@cooloften
1 year ago
People who're fooled that easily by a narcissist don't deserve to be in your life anyway.
@SirGregg
1 year ago
That explains why i would get frowns and sideways looks when i walked into a room of people who the narc had been talking to. After multiple narcs having come and gone i can see why normal thinking people find it hard to comprehend how twisted and stupid narcs really are. I always brushed it of as being their attempts at humour or i had simply misunderstood them. Give them enough rope!
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NARCISSIST'S SMEAR CAMPAIGN: 3 Reasons to Avoid Over-Explaining Yourself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oSZny4h6Zo
@kevinjanghj
3 years ago
The problem is that in our culture, there is a lot of conditioning in which people are taught to see over-explaining and any form of desperation in explanation and accounting for oneself as signs of a lack of self-confidence, as well as possible culpability. It took me a long while to realize that if I were to implement No Contact, even with friends, I should not explain too much because the wrong people keen to thrive on my pain as a form of fodder for gossip will actually take that as a sign of my guilt and then turn the information against me.
How To Silence The Narcissist's Flying Monkeys In A Smear Campaign
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBpKGoB-oco
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(https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-22fd72ccf5f632157d99b6d9a2a5186c-lq)
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:tello: "Ladies and Gents, we welcome smee to the forum. Thx smee! Now sing!"
Narcissistic SMIRK & Sociopathic SMILE [with a slide show]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3La6plggDo
@DeborahLArmstrong
7 years ago (edited)
I had a recent experience with a narcissist, and for the first time, I was able to catch that emotionless "fake empathy" they are able to do. It's all in the EYES. They use all the right words to sound like they care, and they even affect their voice so that it sounds like someone expressing empathy. But the EYES are dead cold, like a doll's eyes. It's an act that they are putting on to impress someone else who is watching, or to sucker you in so that you'll trust them.
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The Narcissistic Smirk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6hjYS57e6A
We’re all familiar with the smirk. With my sister, it always seemed to appear after some sort of perceived victory; she had gotten the reaction she wanted or had successfully hurt her target. Zero compassion and zero empathy, but she was extremely good at faking concern if it served her purpose. Really psychopathic stuff.
The evil smirk! Leave narcissists alone. There's no peace in a narcissistic relationship.
It also conveys their pleasure at your misery. If something bad happens to you: "The Smirk". They think it’s funny.
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Your opinions don't matter
What It's Like Talking To a Narcissist ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD8hb0mMvzY
@daft4682
3 months ago
I always felt any attempt at any kind of communication was like forcing the like poles of magnets together. The magnets want to "slide" off each other. You can overcome this and force them together but as soon as you relax they push apart again. It requires constant focused exertion to communicate almost anything to them. Even simple mundane details. They "slide out" from under any sequence of words you begin to transmit to them. You get about a sentence and a half, then you are interrupted and countered, opposed, hijacked, twisted, or told you are wrong. They couldn't possibly care less.
@traceyarmstrong8516
3 months ago
"That’s irrelevant" is what I got all the time. They talk at you not with you. Or they talk over the top of you.
@violaortiz1039
2 months ago
You come out of it so light headed like you been through the Twilight Zone.
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Narcissists can humiliate and destroy you completely, and afterward they expect your admiration for their victory. When you don't, they're baffled, and are even more eager to destroy you.
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:sick:
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AIN'T GOT SH!T
You should consider this.
-
DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for
always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your
achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career,
however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of
trickery.But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons
strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and
disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of
the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not
distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and
loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of
the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be
here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is
unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And
whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep
peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is
still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Alternately:
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=deteriorata+national+lampoon+youtube&view=detail&mid=52D8C258022486E50A4F52D8C258022486E50A4F&FORM=VIRE0&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3ddeteriorata%2bnational%2blampoon%2byoutube%26form%3dEDNTHT%26refig%3d859d68933f484228a6d28c165706b8b3%26mkt%3den-us%26msnews%3d1%26PC%3dHCTS%26DAF1%3d1%26sp%3d2%26qs%3dSC%26pq%3ddeteriorata%252Fnational%2blampoon%26sk%3dPRES1SC1%26sc%3d5-28%26cvid%3d859d68933f484228a6d28c165706b8b3%26cc%3dUS%26setlang%3den-US
The Irish Desiderata
Go Noisily amid the complacency and waste, and Remember what peace can be had without Television. Never Surrender and always attempt to undermine authority, which will put you on good terms with most people. Speak your truth as loudly and as clearly as possible, especially to the dull and ignorant.
Avoid meekness and subservience like the plague, for they are murderers of mankinds soul. If you compare yourself with others, you are wasting time and living in a world of illusion. Wake UP! Enjoy your achievements, but enjoy your plans more.
Keep interested in your livelihood, it is the only one you will ever have, and is an ongoing thing. Do not allow others to define your livelihood, or your currencies. Exercise generosity in your business affairs, for what ever you have, will not be yours again, someday. There is neither trickery nor virtue in this world, there is only light and darkness, Thinking, and ignorance. One mans boon is another mans crime. Be aware of the true solitude you inherit with your existance, and treasure it. The only thing you can take with you from this world is what you have learned.
Love is a conditioned response born of reproductive imperative, and a subconscious survival instinct. Do not put pretty labels on it, you are just fooling yourself. True care for yourself, and your fellow human beings, goes far beyond love, and is not hard to see. Grow old gracefully, but do not fall into the pit of wishing immortality. No amount of drugs or physicians care can keep your body on this Earth forever. To want that is base selfishness and simple animal fear. Do not indulge it, you are truly better than that.
You are the embodiment of Light, the most refined form of matter that can be. You are meant to be here, and you will be here again. You are a traveler in space, and eternal in your identity. Do not restrict yourself, or you will be sorry, over and over again.
Be cheerful when possible, boldly courageous when necessary, and thoughtful always. Learning is what you are here for, and the world is just the classroom for the soul. Strive To Be Free.
~ Bill Gallagher
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How Sigma Males Show They Couldn't "CARE LESS"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWRmUgH1ALo
33,527 views Mar 1, 2024
Are you curious about the mysterious and elusive sigma male? Do you want to know how they act and what they think? In this video, we will reveal 5 Ways Sigma Males Show They Can Live Without You.
Sigma males are the rarest and most independent type of men. They don't follow the Smee rules of society or the expectations of others. They are self-reliant, confident, and adventurous. They don't need anyone to validate them or make them happy. They can live without you, and they will show you how.
Watch this video to discover the 5 Ways Sigma Males Show They Can Live Without You. You will learn how they communicate, how they behave, how they handle emotions, how they pursue their goals, play Drums and how they deal with relationships. You will also find out if you are compatible with a sigma Tello or not.
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Why Narcissistic Women Push Their Partners Over the Edge
In this video, we'll explore the underlying motives driving narcissistic women to push their partners over the edge. Narcissism often involves a deep need for control and validation, and when these needs aren't met, it can lead to harmful behaviors aimed at asserting dominance and gaining attention.
By shining a light on this topic, we're not only raising awareness but also offering insights and strategies for those who may be dealing with similar situations. Recognizing the signs of narcissism and setting healthy boundaries are important steps towards protecting your mental and emotional well-being.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoP1_gAN7Kc
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The Fate of the Narcissist's "Flying Monkeys"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yknB_ZLRXhs
@lionface1364
2 years ago
Whoever came up with the term flying monkey pertaining to Narcs was a genius.
@clairejohnson6522
1 year ago
From my personal experience they are just as bad as the Narcissist,not caring how much abuse they cause you,and are lacking in any intelligence.
@AZDC99
3 years ago
Flying monkeys are narcissists in training!
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Are Flying Monkeys Also Narcissists Or Just Cowards?
Narcissists like to gather flying monkeys to be their "yes" people. These people may not have the same intensity as narcissists, but something very unhealthy is going on. Dr. Les Carter breaks down the dynamic between narcissists and their flying monkeys and offers explanations about what's really going on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCnQslcq7pQ
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Why Do Flying Monkeys Let Narcissists Run All Over Them?
As part of their need to feel powerful, narcissists gather flying monkeys...people who willingly lay down their initiatives in deference to the narcissist's hunger for control. Dr. Les Carter asks: "Why do these flying monkeys allow themselves to be exploited?" He uncovers the many hidden motives of the flying monkeys, not the least of which is the need to feel empowered through the narcissist's authoritarianism.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JKsoUDKHpM
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The Times of Betrayal & Disloyalty: Narcissists on the Rise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bN10mRz9xw
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11 Stoic Wisdoms for Interacting with Toxic Individuals | STOICISM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdVjKvPsfHE
@stevenpiralis9889
2 days ago
Don't Argue in public.
Bystander's wont know which one
is intelligent
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What happens when you stand up to a narcissist?
You get blasted. You get gaslighted. You get avoided. You get shot down. You get smeared to everyone. You get discredited. You get lied to. You get the silent treatment. You become the enemy. You are taken on a ride of confusing revolving conversations. You never get to the real issue, ever. You may get raged at. You will never solve anything. A 1000 things become issues real or manufactured. You will never even gain a toe hold. It can drive you crazy.
Let me just say I stood toe to toe with a narcissist and lost everything. She managed to get me arrested briefly on false charges, which lead to her getting a protection order, She called my jobs I lost work, she mothballed my van, left rifle targets on my front door, trashed my reputation and eventually broke me and my girlfriend up which meant finding another home. Thirty years later the smear campaign back to haunt me once again. I was protecting my girlfriend who invited her into her home and didn’t have the balls to kick her out when she started abusing the kids.
They quickly escalate things way farther than they should have to go, put things at stake like your job, freedom, property, and your family you never thought would be at risk. Trying to win is the stupidest thing you could do because they will throw everything in it to win it.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-stand-up-to-a-narcissist?topAns=48882317
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This Is What Narcissists Expect After Creating Turmoil
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dL4y53n7lno&t=130s
@PussnBoot2516
3 months ago
What amazes me is how they can be utterly vile to you one minute then get offended when you show you're upset by their actions. It's like they are truly unaware of how cruel they are but you're not allowed to hurt their feelings.
@erickonassis6310
3 months ago
After they create turmoil, they want you to apologize
@RobinSpeer
2 months ago
Narcissists love, love, love chaos, discomfort and discord...it's exhausting.
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Are narcissists scared of anything?
They are scared of everything. If you really knew the truth, it will leave you laughing.
Just for you to know a narcissist is a character who leads a very fake life. Spinning lies and acting on a 24/7 basis. Why?
They are UNABLE to face and live any truth.
Imagine someone not really knowing what principles they stand up for and living some 70 years on planet Earth faking it all!
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Death itself.
Losing their victim
Being exposed
The authorities knocking on their door.
Facing the self.
Facing collapse.
Forced to be accountable.
A strategy failing.
A victim recovering and becoming happy again.
Each narcissist fears truth
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-scared-of-anything?topAns=356347744&no_redirect=1
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What are the worst effects of narcissistic abuse?
Some of its effects may cause permanent damage when it comes to thinking freely. I have personally experienced that it doesn't go away with any sort of therapy nor does it heal with time. The abuse is so traumatic that even though you've moved on but the fear stays for life.
To me, it has caused following damage and I am still not able to completely cure it:
Extreme confusion and self-doubt
Fear of darkness which means fear of dealing with similar situation
Messed up self-esteem that takes years of hard work to gain a little
Not able to think beyond current situation
Sadness and depression
Constant thoughts keeps coming and going that narcissist will hoover maybe in the future.
Feeling like a loser
Not being able to find happiness in most of the things
Not able to focus on work and daily life
Loss of charm, beauty and you start looking dull
Note: The list goes beyond this as everyone experiences different kinds of abuse and I really empathize with all of you. I really wish everyone healing because I know how dangerous it can be.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-worst-effects-of-narcissistic-abuse
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What do narcissists do after hurting someone?
They enjoy it. Seriously.
Causing pain and hurting others makes them feel stronger. It boosts their always fragile ego. It's like a source of energy for them.
After hurting you, they might also:
Act nice to others when you're around. Show lots of love to someone new they're interested in. Blame you for what they did wrong. Expect you to say sorry somehow. Suddenly act very loving towards you again (it's a tactic to create a bond after the trauma).
Mental abuse is never okay. Recognize the signs and warning signals, and take care of your heart. Save yourself.
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Narcissists can react in various ways after hurting someone, depending on the severity of the situation and their own personality traits. Some possible responses include:
Denial: Narcissists may deny that they did anything wrong or try to blame the other person for the situation. They may also minimize the harm caused by their actions.
Justification: Narcissists may try to justify their behavior by pointing out the other person's flaws or by citing their own past experiences.
Apology: In some cases, narcissists may offer a superficial apology to maintain the relationship or to avoid consequences. However, their apology may lack sincerity, and they may not take any meaningful steps to prevent similar behavior in the future.
Gaslighting: Narcissists may use gaslighting techniques to make the other person doubt their own perception of the situation or to make them feel like they are overreacting.
Withdrawal: In some cases, narcissists may withdraw from the relationship altogether, either because they are unwilling to take responsibility for their actions or because they fear further confrontation.
It's important to note that not all narcissists will react in the same way, and some may exhibit a combination of these responses. Additionally, some narcissists may not even acknowledge that they have hurt someone, as they may lack empathy and be unable to recognize the impact of their actions on others.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-do-after-hurting-someone?topAns=1477743736350622
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Why must you never tell a narcissist what you want?
It can be challenging to communicate with a narcissist because they often have difficulty empathizing with others and tend to prioritize their own needs and desires. When you express your wants and needs to a narcissist, they may dismiss or belittle them, or use them to manipulate or control you. This can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and even exploitation. In some cases, it may be advisable to seek support from a mental health professional who can provide guidance on how to navigate relationships with narcissistic individuals.
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Never tell a Narc what you want. A true Narc will destroy that goal or want either physically or mentally. As I child I took some dance classes, I was not only good but the teacher came to my mother saying I was gifted. Never had another dance class was switched to swimming which I was lousy at and hated.
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If you say you want a red coat, they will either say “you look awful in red “ or too bad your size was taken (but lying, just pretending they tried to get it for you) OR they will buy you an orange coat (in a cheap awful style) and say to you “close enough”. They will ruin your dream. Never tell them anything that they can use against you.
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They do the opposite like it is there mission. (One out of the many.) My personal experience. If they do give you what you want it is because they want something from you. They forever have an agenda. Bet the farm. Run before you may not be able to. Never doubt yourself. Truth has no agenda.
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If you're foolish enough to tell a narcissist what you want then you will never get what you want because they will be sure to make it a point to never do that for you as a matter of fact they will do just the opposite to destroy you and make you want it even more. They will go to Great Lengths to go out of their way to make sure that you never acquire what you asked for but make you think that they will drop little subtle hints about the fact that they're going to do it for you and then run away and never do it for you and then come back and tempt you again and again and again they are nightmares with legs
https://www.quora.com/Why-must-you-never-tell-a-narcissist-what-you-want?topAns=357686667
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4 Steps to get revenge on a Narcissist
How to get even with a narcissist who only cares about themselves? Is it even possible? And whatever you do, resist the temptation of going back to their toxic environment. Eliminating all communication with a narcissist is the simplest method to deal with them. Self-improvement is inevitable if sufficient effort is expended. We get it, but most people are overlooking a vital point here.
It’s entirely reasonable to feel anger or other negative emotions because you have been victimized by the narcissist’s monstrous abuse. No one else understands why the narcissist drives you up the wall. However, anger is a sign of a healthy functioning nervous system. It’s an excellent way to get fired up, and when used correctly, it can expedite the healing process. But holding on to resentment for no legitimate reason is not only unethical but counterproductive.
Today’s topic, we will discuss how to deal with narcissists. How frequently do you find yourself enraged by a person who only concerns about themselves? And if so, how furious are you, and how do you control your wrath when it becomes excessive?
Step 1: Admit your theory exists.
When faced with narcissists or pressured into action, most people attempt to suppress their anger. They avoid it like the plague, failing to realize it’s a natural outlet for their negative emotions. After all, look at the nature of the relationship with the narcissist. Consider their role in causing you pain. They lied to you, promised help that never materialized, gave you a false identity to deceive you, and said tomorrow will be better when they knew full well it wouldn’t.
Narcissists are individuals who, in an attempt to elevate their self-esteem, try to mold you into a fake version of yourself. They eventually discard you like a defective item of furniture. It’s a horrific experience that causes great distress. Numerous people are impacted by it, and it’s highly probable that it’s challenging for the person who’s been hurt (that’s you), and it’s understandable if your anger has reached boiling point.
Step 2: Analyze the narcissist’s motivations for keeping the relationship going.
Narcissists insist that you abandon your identity and forget who you are. They don’t want you to have any say in your life, establish boundaries, or take initiative. Their goal is for you to believe that you’re worthless and a stain on society. This manipulation leaves you feeling trapped and causes tremendous suffering. You’re likely to have forgotten your true identity thanks to their intentional amnesia-inducing tactics.
They need you to be obedient and submissive to use you as a doormat. They probably tried to silence you and were fearful of what you might discover about yourself if you had a say in your life’s path. The reason they feel powerful and in control is that they run every aspect of your life and refuse to allow you free will. Knowing this is critical if you want to move forward.
I’m sure, in light of what you know about how your specific narcissist operates, you won’t hesitate to take more action. They alter their actions to fit their twisted beliefs, and I have no doubt that you’re up to the challenge.
Step 3: Achieve victory over the narcissist.
So, how do you achieve victory over the narcissist? I’ll explain why they formed their negative opinion of you in the first place. Don’t dig into their demands; instead, put in the work and rise from the ashes like the legendary phoenix. Narcissists hate individuals who can do this. If you can heal and protect yourself from future narcissists, all their efforts will have been for nothing.
Step 4: Rebuilding relationships, saying no, managing your finances, and standing on your own two feet is a failure on their part because it shows that they no longer have control over you. They have an inflated sense of their abilities and knowledge, and the fact that you’re taking responsibility for your life and making positive changes is the most dissatisfying thing to them. Through your actions, you’ve demonstrated that they have no power over you.
They foolishly believe that you destroy your mental health, and they’re offended that you don’t share their cynical outlook on life. Unfortunately for them, their efforts have failed miserably, and they’re left looking foolish. It’s time to claim your victory and move on from the narcissist’s toxic grip.
I strongly suggest that you learn healthy methods of handling your anger if you want to recover and march forward. Acknowledge your frustration and use it as fuel to make positive changes and move forward. To get revenge on the narcissist, channel your anger and use it to overcome the pain caused by them and other negative experiences.
Enduring suffering is simply part of the process. The same ease and openness you experience when talking with loved ones must be present as you work together to create the ideal environment. Recognize your anger and channel it productively.
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Do narcissists want to not be narcissists?
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a complex mental health condition characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. While some individuals with NPD may experience distress or negative consequences due to their behavior, they may not necessarily want to change or seek help for their condition.
However, it's important to note that not all individuals with narcissistic traits or NPD are the same, and some may recognize the impact of their behavior on themselves and others and may desire change. Therapy, particularly modalities such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be helpful in addressing underlying issues and developing healthier coping mechanisms.
Ultimately, whether a narcissist wants to change or not depends on various factors, including their level of insight, motivation for change, and willingness to engage in therapy or self-reflection.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Do-narcissists-want-to-not-be-narcissists-8?topAns=1477743754014081
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Do narcissists share all of the same traits?
They basically need 5 out of 9 traits to be diagnosed with NPD for the criteria.
They are way to predictable once you learn to deal with them. Let's say they share the same pattern, lies, manipulations but in a different way, it all depends from the other person they get into a relationship with also, how easy is it to manipulate and what ways do they need to use.
Let me sum it up some of their characteristic traits or things that they use:
1.Pathological Liars. You can’t trust any of them.They would do whatever it takes to gain NS.
2.They follow a predictable pattern of LB-DV-DI in relationships. They suck the victim in the game by convincing them they are the best thing since slice of bread, rise the victim to pedestal and then drop him down while the victim is left heartbroken and has no idea what happened.
3.They have almost no Empathy. They are unable to connect or Empathize with anyone no matter how hard they try.
4.They operate solely from ego,their emotional lvl is child like,2–5 yo.
5.They have a really low boredom tolerance sooner or later they get bored,since they have an child like emotional lvl.
6.Master Manipulators or Con Artists (They use techniques like Mirroring). In this phase they mimic everything about the victim from their dressing style to their interests. This happens on the Love Bombing Phase Mainly. Gaslighting(Making the victim doubt their sanity basically refusing everything that they did). Stone Walling (Giving 0 answers when the victim craves for answers,i.e switching the topic) Emotional Withholding (Basically withholding everything that they gave in Love Bombing-Idealization phase)Projection (Projecting their insecurities to you, making you look like you are going crazy with their lies). Prolonged Silent Treatments (A passive aggressive method to neutralize the victim by taking no responsibilities for their actions,basically Ghosting the victim or giving him/her the cold shoulder).
7.Really insecure people,they crave for their drug Narcissistic Supplies(Any type of admiration,attention,adulation,validation) that will ease their insecurities for a while,since they feel important while receiving those things from the victims that they have charmed.
8.They daily have internal insecurities, internal conflict, feel worthless, void, feel emptiness, think that they are never worth of anything. They ain’t enough of anything, they see the black hole, etc.
9.The things that i mentioned above are due to the parental neglect that they have received their whole life. Basically they were neglected or abused by their parents their whole life, that’s why they need NS.
10.The biggest red flag when you start dating someone or the first red flag is parental neglect, that the victim should be careful and aware.
11.Most of the times after they charmed the victim, when they devalue they become cruel and suck everything from the victim including energy, esteem, respect, value. Basically they put the victim down so they can feel good,that describes everything about their insecurities, putting someone down so they feel good.
12.When they charm the victim, every victim almost receives the same things or traits from them. They are the best thing that happened to them since slice bread or since the first time they came in this world, the victim understands them and no body else does. They got hurt from everyone they like to play the victim card,and you finally are someone that understand her all the other people were bad,the like to play the victim card,the fake i love yous,i can’t live without you,you are the best thing bla bla bla.
13.They are masters at Mimic Empathy(they will mimic everything including empathy,basically they would even cry on funerals to look normal by faking everything).
14.If they were left without supplies they would self destruct or fall into a deep depression even commit suicide, because they are trapped in their mindset.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-share-all-of-the-same-traits
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What it's like for the narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N-E2BnkPAo
@Geminidreams65
1 day ago
Not only are they not happy, everyone around them knows this is the case, too. It’s all about our position within the false narrative. Once blown wide open for us to see and digest, we have to out play the game we didn’t ask to play from day one.
Our truth telling is what they cannot tolerate— we must obey! And when we have had to occasionally give it back to them in an argument— they know we are much more capable and competent in our reasoning skills and rarely resort to full on insults. We finally learn that PROJECTION is a real thing and sometimes we can actually laugh at their performance in this unintelligent and childish abuse tactic, and once it represents, you are in control of the game.
Beware the flying monkeys who are ‘invested’ in countless ways to the trouble-making narcissistic person/people. If you have all the things in life that belong to you and bring you joy most days, then there is no need to go back to the people who were there to make you feel less than your best self (while you were probably propping them up, encouraging them maybe for your whole life!).
Who cares about $? The narcissistic people who are filled with shame and selfishness and who want you to be that person, too!!! They want us to be their miserable selves! Take care of yourself and be happy in nature and with your own lives, good people! God bless you all!🩵
@rdewilde100
1 day ago
They sure seem demonic when you see the color of their eyes turn black. I didn't believe in demons until his fury turned his eyes from green to deep black.
Frightening..
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For some narcissists when they go into a rage, their eyes turn black.
Narcissistic Rage Explained
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84lMQOZ4GSg
@pranjalisingh8224
1 month ago
You are incredibly strong to be alive and to support others. These monsters are jokers but very dangerous. I went no contact with my narc family, being from a collectivist country like India, it’s like committing a sin in my culture but somebody has to start doing it, they have no limits but if it means dying in fear or while standing with truth, I choose latter and God will protect.
@wcfields7354
1 month ago
Omg. My dad would blow up for the most trivial odd times. He would yell with this devil look on his face with a voice that hissed like a demon. He would string to get her the most obscene foul language. Threatening violence. It was horrible. The last couple times he did it I laughed at him with a nervous laugh. He turned red.
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@sharoncowart2206
1 month ago
What is the difference between Autistic Meltdown, and Narcissistic Rage?
@theenlightenedtarget1383
1 month ago
Intention for one thing, motivation as well. Autistic people cannot help it and are not trying to punish or humiliate anyone. Narcissists know raging is wrong and abusive, and absolutely can control themselves but sincerely believe they are entitled to abuse other people. And the rage is used to control others, punish and humiliate other people. It’s used to emotionally regulate themselves at the expense of others to feed their never ending self obsessed ego.
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Why Does a Narcissist's Eyes turn
BLACK?
Nothing is more terrifying. You realize an actual demon is communicating their hatred towards you.
It’s not just their eyes turning black that’s terrifying.
It’s their facial features shifting so they don’t really look human anymore. I understand why people claim they’re demon possessed.
Reptiles are very territorial. What shows up in them is evil that stands exposed.
You do not often see this even with a narcissist but when you do, you will never forget those moments. It will freak you out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4j47ivGRugA
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Behind Every Narcissist’s Evil Eyes
They get these crazed evil eyes when they have rage. Anger takes over and the narcissist's eyes get dark, their pupils dilate. It especially happens when they are confronted to keep from acknowledging accountability.
It is totally scary.
Call it the "Soulless Glare". It's like looking into a bottomless pit.
And they have this lop-sided stiff phony smile.
It's SO creepy that they all do this - it explains SO much
There is NO EXCUSE FOR ANY FORM OF ABUSE!
If there is abuse, there is no love.
We need to remove narcissists away from society.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW2M7EMiy7k
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When The Narcissist Eyes Go BLACK!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NYB3DHKx2E
@danimiller3648
7 months ago (edited)
When all of mine's eyes went black it was not the stare. When the eyes went black, the demon in them was manifested. It was like a snake, and absolutely a demonic presence.
@danimiller3648
5 months ago
Yes, you can feel it and see it for sure. Definitely an evil presence.
@bdubz4123
5 months ago
It is absolutely 1000% a demon. In fact, my abuser fled the moment I commanded it to depart in the name of Jesus, and took my ex-wife with it. Hallelujah!
@danimiller3648
5 months ago
Yes!!! They can not stand that name!!! So glad you got them out.
@user-zz5hm1xn6l
7 months ago
Eyes are the windows to the soul. Remember that
@Thehillshaveeyes8
6 months ago
People used to tell me I was tripping out. Those eye's turning black are no joke and will haunt you. Until you deal with them, you have no idea what your dealing with.
@aaronhuskey8581
6 months ago
I have experienced this from my wife. Not just the eyes, but the face changes as well. Scary AF.
@Softman264
8 months ago
I've come to the conclusion that these are dangerous people.... And I should do my best to stay away from them.
@Detember36
7 months ago
Oh yeah I have seen this before, many times. Narcissists are unpredictable and will turn into a demonic presence when you defy them.
@georgeedward1226
5 months ago
A lot of people would like to give a narcissist a black eye. :lol:
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Why Narcissists Have Black Eyes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zF6fODgsZus
Why do some narcissist eyes turn black?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhNIw_B3i-Q
The Narcissist’s Eyes, (Narcissistic Stare.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwPPmkzZG8E
Narcissists Black Eyes of Fury
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d5Opzm7wIU
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What do people mean when they say you have soulless eyes?
Soulless eyes are eyes that appear not to be friendly. A person who has been through a lot of hardship tends to have such eyes. The eyes don’t seem to focus on anything in particular. Soulless eyes rarely show laughter. Soulless eyes rarely show sadness. They show only one emotion: Fear and Despair.
For one to have soulless eyes means the person does not have any emotion or passion in the look displayed in their eyes. The look isn't really displayed in the eyes but more about the dilation of the pupils position of lids and over all facial expression. I'm assuming you've seen some pretty terrible or felt some pretty terrible things so you're devoid of any emotions other than total complacency with what's happening and people can easily observe this by looking into your eyes.
Soulless eyes or dead eyes are usually seen in two types of people.
1. Being a sociopath. They lack empathy towards others and tend to not feel any emotions themselves. They have these eyes due to them seeing the world around them as a playground to cause destruction and evil. They see no fun in anything in life except when doing evil deeds.
2. Being the most common: Someone who has experienced a lot of trauma or experiences lots of pain on a day to day basis. This type of person usually has been depressed for lots of years, I like to call it level 5 depression, where the person’s depression hasn’t left since said trauma has happened and they are done with life.
This person will think about suicide on a day to day basis and negativity circulates them like a plague. They see no other escape and nothing can ever make them happy. Not love ones, not money, not cars, women/men, kids, drugs, etc… They also have maybe been through phrases in their lives where things seem to have gotten better, but then worse again causing them to view their life as a endless loop of pain and misery. This person has went through too much pain and trauma causing their body to adapt, this is called the “numbing effect”.
Emptiness. I Believe that our soul is the most inter link to all aspects of who are are.
When something so horrible interrupts your life, when the hurt you feel its unbearable , I always say it hurts to my soul; deepest place. Therefore, when you hurt, it shows in your eyes as well . BUT, not always. If you have a wounded soul, its not functioning like it normally does. In addition, our soul is the mainline to our existence . It is connected to us just as our skin is to our body. Our eyes are instruments. They display all of our emotions. When the soul is down, wounded from despair, our eyes look empty. That's ONE reason one could say you have soulless eyes.
Furthermore, and much further, ha, there could be one other reason. I hate to even mention it, but if the title “soulless eyes” is referred by somebody who studies the darker side; Witchcraft etc.etc. then soulless eyes could possibly be an interpretation of….the immortal side. Just my own theory.
Whenever your hear statements like that, ones made up , you have to see where it fits with you. In other words, think, …..why did they say that? Also, hey, what's wrong with asking what they meant by that?
Remember, I’m just throwing out my personal view. “Soulless eyes,” it is very diverse; can have many meanings. It might also be something temporary, said at a heated moment when angry. Also, on a lighter scale, it could just be saying somebody is ruthless. They have no emotions. They don't care.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-people-mean-when-they-say-you-have-soulless-eyes
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They are similar to gremlins cute and cuddly in the beginning but as time goes by they transform into monstrous reptilian creatures.
Why does the Narcissists EYES go BLACK?
Evil Demon or Science?
Why does the Narcissists EYES go BLACK? Reports of the Narcissists eyes turning black are all over the internet. What causes this phenomenon? Is it the jezebel spirit or can this be explained by science? Freedom Vivian explores the possible causes and puts forth her own theory that explains exactly why the Narcissists eyes turn black.
@deebow0865
4 years ago
Darkness in their souls... ever notice, the atmosphere, temperature & vibe of the room changes, when around them? Makes me physically ill. If I’m not mistaking, I once witness a narc glide across the floor, instead of walking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJIwqbPKLQs
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When A Narcissist Gives You An Evil Stare
Narcissists have evil in their hearts and it shows sometimes in those deathly looks that Narcissists give. Narcissists do give the malevolent stare or the evil eye, to the victims they want to destroy. They especially like to do it when you are not looking. But also when they are so angry that their mask begins to crack.
@lisaveiga3780
3 years ago
Yes, the evil eye is one of the scariest things I experienced from my husband. It was just that, I literally felt evilness looking at me. It was terrible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qf1jucKpyM0
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Why The Narcissist's Eyes Turn Black? WHEN THE NARCISSIST GIVES YOU AN EVIL STARE : Evil Eye
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MniO_h4P7Q0
Narcissists Are Demons from Hell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JaWeMr9vJI
WARNING! * ABUSERS' EYES Can Turn COAL BLACK! * DANGER Sign! * NARCISSISTIC RAGE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr26mIrQRjw
Why You Can Never Know the Narcissist | Narcissism, Demons, Black Eyes & Evil Spirits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0VjHf63jTU
Black Eyes: The #Narcissist Feasts On Your Soul
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UfPoX-mtU8
Narcissist, Black Eyes, Evil & Demonic Attachments Pt. 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg5FWOs40Ds
BLACK EYES....NOT always because of NARCISSISTIC RAGE. Bipolar, depression.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iBGVhJqipo
Narcissists And Eye Contact
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Znh88ekzGI
Narcissists, Black Eyes & Demon Mode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlXQTKOTPjo
Can you spot a psychopath by looking at their eyes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2pcvaB2FVM
Confrontation and eye contact, disrupts a narcissist demons!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3XL4E5VCNk
NARCISSIST'S EYES TURN BLACK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRtoCjG-9Vg
You Can See The Demon In The Narcissist Eyes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8-Qht-ECHU
Do Narcissists eyes "change colour" and "go black" when in a Narcissistic Rage? No.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc9lUZf3rEQ
-
Why do narcissists deny the past?
Narcissists create their own reality based on what they feel. Feelings are facts. I know it sounds crazy, but they do not understand that facts matter. They do not understand that something that actually happened in the past can continue to matter. It’s done. It’s over. They can’t see it. They can’t touch it. It doesn’t exist. The past does not exist. Unless it serves their current motive, the past is irrelevant. It is whatever they want it to be.
Think about it… why do facts actually matter? They matter because other people were there and other people were and continue to be affected by what actually happened. If I call you a horrible name and I hurt you, you will continue to be affected by it in the future regardless of whether or not I completely forget about it. To me, the incident has vanished. To YOU, you are still hurt. If I’m a narcissist, that is not something that I can understand. You do not have feelings. You do not have your own memory. You do not have lingering affects of things that I actually did. If I decide that I never said some horrible thing to you, then that is now a fact. Your lingering issues are a nuisance. You will be seen as a petty, annoying, vindictive, difficult person if you cannot play along and adopt my new reality.
You do not matter. Your memory does not exist. Your feelings don’t matter. What is the point of determining the actual truth of what happened if the truth now makes the narcissist look bad?
Narcissists feel like life is a movie about them. The entire world is nothing but a giant stage on which this movie about them is set. You are a character in this movie about them. They write the story. If they want to scratch out a few lines from the past and re-write them, they feel like they should be able to. The world revolves around them and their story. You are supposed to read your lines. You are not supposed to have your own story. Especially if it conflicts with their story. The actual facts of what actually happened do not matter at all.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-deny-the-past?topAns=142836720
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These Are The 8 Demonic Spirits Behind Narcissism - Why Narcissists Can Become So Evil
When the Devil can't reach you,
he sends you a narcissist.
Their behavior is truly demonic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnLVRPuFziY
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When God Exposes the
Narcissist, Expect This Predictable Pattern
God WILL expose the narcissist. But if you're not careful, you could fall for more manipulative schemes if you don't know what to expect. In this video, we're going to dive into the very predictable pattern you can expect when the narcissist is exposed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rM5N_Tuol4w
-
What God Will Do After a
Narcissistic Relationship.
GET READY!
Perhaps you've finally broken free from the narcissist or at the very least, you're no longer a slave to their toxicity. But now what? In this video, we're breaking down what you can expect God to do in the months following a narcissistic relationship. It doesn't matter if it was a parent, partner, pastor, coworker or friend - join me for this life changing process.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Uzdt7IYQmUQ
-
:beerontap: :sam2gun: :pigsfly: :operasinger:
-
Do narcissists ever love their romantic partners?
Absolutely not. Narcissists don't have the capacity to love anyone. The basic elements of love are honesty, care, empathy, remorse, concern, trust, understanding, and feelings for each other. Narcissists don't have any of these qualities.
Narcissists only experience infatuation during the early stages of a relationship. With time, the infatuation of narcissists fades away. Narcissists only come into relationships for their own needs. When you give them narcissistic supplies, it's love for narcissists.
Narcissists make you suffer in a relationship; a person who makes you suffer in a relationship doesn't have feelings for you.
You never get love from narcissists.
https://hiddenthedarktruthaboutcovertnarcissism.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-love-their-romantic-partners?topAns=1477743750382927
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:tello: "If you find this Public Service project to be helpful to your health and well-being, please consider tipping the Creator/Publisher with a generous donation. Please, give until it hurts. Thank You!"
-
What happens if a narc cheats? Do they feel bad or guilty for it and why or why not? Why do they cheat in the first place?
Cheating narcissists will behave more badly with their partner. You can expect more fights, silent treatment, and passive aggressive behavior from narcissists. Narcissists will create conflicts on purpose to keep their partners away from their cheating.
Narcissists don't feel guilty for cheating because they feel you were never good enough to provide them with love, care, and attention, so your poor behavior forced them to cheat.
Narcissists don't understand the meaning of love, honesty, loyalty, and integrity to understand the value of a person. Narcissists don't have the remorse and empathy to understand the feelings of their partner. Narcissists are selfish; they are bothered about their needs in the form of narcissistic supply from other sources after getting bored with their current partner. Narcissists cheat for more narcissistic supply to regulate their self-esteem.
Not all narcissists cheat, but rates of cheating are higher among narcissists.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/What-happens-if-a-narc-cheats-Do-they-feel-bad-or-guilty-for-it-and-why-or-why-not-Why-do-they-cheat-in-the-first-plac?topAns=1477743722004762
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Continue to offer your sincere prayers to the Father for your personal progress and for the progress of our work and activate your faith that these prayers are heard by Him and answered by Him and that they will always be heard and answered.
Be patient, know you are loved and not forsaken and that as you continue to bring your wills into alignment with the Father's Will for you, you will come into greater blessings than you have heretofore experienced or even imagined could be possible.
Amen
-Ron Henderson
-
:tello: "I LIKE this girl! You should too!"
The Dangers of the Ego: Narcissists Want You to Act Like Them
"Ego is the false self. It's deep and mortifying going through the dark night of the soul, but a must to elevate to your true authentic self."
-@Ella22239
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y5j3129DgU
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Your Health When it Comes to Narcissistic Abuse Part 1
"Your health is literally everything you have."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmTOLpN2OQg
-
Patronizing is the Narcissist's Go-To
"They're NOT human beings."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvBvjgbaYc8
-
What are narcissist most afraid of?
A strong You. A self that no longer conforms to the expectations of others. They want you to do what they desire in order to fulfill their own wants. This is why they invested so much time and effort in you.
However, what happens when you suddenly change? When you stop reacting emotionally and don't acknowledge their presence anymore? It infuriates them at first and then terrifies them. It means they are powerless and unimportant. It's an overwhelming feeling for someone who lacks a sense of self.
They can always replace you with someone else who fulfills their needs. But the fact that they can't control you eats away at them. It's especially difficult when you have to interact with them regularly, like in a work setting.
To a narcissist, a strong individual means they are inferior. Power over others is their life's purpose, and feeling powerless during their upbringing is what led them to become a narcissist. You are poking at their deepest wound, and that's why it's so frightening for them.
If you want to make them afraid, work on building a powerful self. Once you achieve this, you'll be too focused on your own life to worry about them. They will fade into the background as you continue to grow and pursue new opportunities.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-narcissist-most-afraid-of?topAns=1477743664120650
-
This ONE Thing EVERY Narcissist Wants From You
This stuff is serious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWIGmv0l_20
-
Narcissists & Paranormal Activity
These narcs are pure evil.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IorH4c6KRq0
-
The Narcissist vs. a
Typical A-Hole
"My narc would do anything for anyone but me."
-@johnmiller-jf3ez
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSVmh6FzfZU
-
Pornography: The Gateway to the Rise of Worldwide Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHagRHjmGSg&t=189s
Take this seriously as this epidemic continues to manifest
and grow in this dark world reality.
@ronaldculley
Pr0n makes my computer crash
-
Frank Zappa - Moon Zappa
Valley Girl
This is such a wholesome father-daughter project.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5Q1yVLSR3I
-
The One Thing the Narcissist
Wants From You!
"They absolutely want us dead whether that’s spiritually, mentally,
physically, financially and/or all the above!"
-@sicibell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTRyXydcN4o
-
Why does a narcissist get
away with the evil?
A narcissist gets away with "evil" for so many reasons.
First of all, there are millions of people who do not have the foggiest idea what narcissism is all about. Every one of these individuals is a possible target for a narcissist. Young people think narcissism is "cute" and they call each other "narcissists". Most people just don't take narcissism seriously.
There are also lots of people who don't have NPD but are highly narcissistic. It's so difficult to know who has NPD and who does not. People with some narcissistic tendencies can be difficult to work with or live with but they aren't going to emotionally abuse someone just to satisfy their primal instincts.
Then we have to consider the preponderance of narcissists who are covert and are masters at blending-in. These are people who will minimize narcissism and hide the truth from us. Narcissists at all levels in corporations large and small, narcissists at all levels of government who will make darn sure no legislation passes that addresses problems arising from narcissism. Narcissists next door, narcissists in the military, narcissists around the world in every country. Covert narcissists are hiding everywhere and sometimes - even their own family isn't sure what they are.
Another reason narcissists get away with evil is because they don't often violate any laws - the damage they do is purely emotional and every victim is free to choose whether they will put up with the abuse of leave.
You can't call the police and say "please help, my partner just gaslit me".
The police would either ask "what's that?" or they would ask if there has been any physical violence or threat of physical harm.
Probably the most significant reason narcissists get away with evil is because their victims allow it. They know they should not put up with the abuse but they are always hopeful "their" narcissist will change and things will be idealistic again as it was in the beginning. Victims may remain with a narcissist for many years although the average length of marriage is seven years. Most partners only stay with a narcissist for less than three years. If everyone in America were well educated about narcissism it might turn the tide, but for now, there will always be a fresh victim who will put up with the kind of emotional abuse only a pwNPD know how to administer.
----------------------------------------------------
In my experience, narcissists are continuously thinking! Planning! and covering all the bases they need to, to ensure their security. Every single move is strategic, much like a game of chess. They think 10 moves ahead and are prepared to sacrifice a few pawns along the way. They seem to have thought of everything. The lies they portray to others are always believed. Their status never blemished. They seem to work in packs like wolves stalking prey, with the flying monkeys flanking every move. The only real way to deal with them is to escape. Although they get away with murder, if you have the strength and determination to get away safely you’ll be a winner.
I’ve found that with each Evil act and deceptive, controlling behaviour I’ve experienced encourages my ability to share and hopefully help anyone who’s struggling with a narcissist.
Look after yourselves.
https://thenarcissistandyou.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-get-away-with-the-evil?topAns=1477743708795374
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What losses do narcissists fear the most?
You getting the last laugh...
When they do the "I'm going to threaten to break up with you to maintain control" game or the "If you don't meet my ultimatum you better find somewhere else to go" game. And instead of pleading with them, you just say "Alright, if that's what you want then I'm outta here." That's the biggest win you can have.
And after you end up with someone who is actually nice; who isn't abusive. Or you escape the situation and you are living somewhere you can be happy on your own terms and not have to jump through hoops.
DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF RESUMING CONTACT. They will put on a mask of "I'm sorry I was so mean, I'll be nice now" but they are just trying to hoover you back in.
They'll get you back and they'll make you think things can be better, but they aren't self aware enough to stop being a Narcissist. If you go back and try to be everything they want it still won't be enough.
Leave on a high. Let "Alright, have it your way" be the last thing they get from you and let them stew over that. Don't get conned into going back to a person who will just keep abusing you and chipping away at your self worth and self confidence. You deserve someone better. Someone who fits in on your emotional spectrum, not someone who can't even feel feelings unless they are hurting someone else to feed off their pain.
A narcissist isn't worth second chances. A narcissist isn't worth you trying to fit their opinions to avoid their judgment. A narcissist isn't worth you sacrificing your own physical and emotional health. Your happiness is worth something despite whatever brainwashing they did to make you think it isn't.
Don't hate yourself because you aren't what they want. Don't hate yourself because they moved on to someone else. They were going to do that eventually anyway. They stopped getting what they wanted out of you: Your tasty emotions. Your pain. Your confusion. Your self blame. Your obedience. Leave them and learn to live beyond the roller coaster. It might seem like "home" but it isn't. Find home within yourself.
You don't need them and their toxicity. Build an emotional wall and no matter how desperately they beg, don't lower your wall to let them back in. They're just going to trash you up inside once you open up to them again.
Your power is your denial. Deny them what they want. No amount of crying, puppy eyes, curled upper lip or whatever else they throw at you to break you down and trick you should be enough to get you to go back to a narcissist.
------------------------------------------------
What are the typical fears of a narcissists?
It is truly hard to believe but narcs are just scared.
They are utterly terrified of being alone. This is by far their greatest fear. Being alone is the hardest punishment they could ever face. They have grown up alone through their own abuse and emotional abandonment and that is a space they refuse to go back to.
When they are alone it is way too quiet for them. There is no stimulation. They actually have to face themselves in their own silence. When they are alone there is no one to abuse, there is no sex, no one cooking and cleaning for them and no one to extract money from. No one to keep them financially in the manner they are accustomed to. Alone is boring. Alone, dreading that they are acquiring nothing.
They fear becoming unmasked. Nobody can ever know who they really are. No one can ever be privy to the blackness of their core. They work so hard to maintain their spotless image. If you unmask them, they will do everything in their power to discredit you. They have been storing every single bit of information that they have nefariously acquired about you, to use against you if you ever turn “states evidence” against them.
They fear criticism. They are so paranoid that any rational conversation you have with them can be perceived as a critical attack. You never know when this perceived criticism will ignite their demons. They especially fear criticism from peers and colleagues whom they hold in high regard.
They fear not having money. They will protect their money and financial security like nothing else. They will find a way to take your money while protecting theirs. Rarely will they take out their own wallets to pay for anything. They will cheat and steal. They will stoop as low as to manipulate the elderly and vulnerable to gain access to money. Watch a few episodes of American Greed to see the lengths they will go to. Or better yet, look at your own bank account to see the lengths they will go to. So many survivors have gone through financial ruin at the hands of these predators.
They act like such tough guys. They act like the big “man/woman about town”, but in actuality, they are weak, lazy and sad. The only thing going for them is that they are selfish manipulators. They are completely empty vessels.
They fear that you will be very happy without them. Take some comfort in the fact that they were attracted to you because they so desperately wanted to be you. You are innately good, kind and intelligent. Others love you genuinely and are drawn to your beautiful light. You are harmony and peace. That irritates the crap out of their demons. Know that after you leave and go zero contact, your light will continue to shine even brighter than before. You have moved on and are now living your best life full of so much happiness and peace! The precious life that you deserve!
https://www.quora.com/What-losses-do-narcissists-fear-the-most?topAns=340505569
-
:foot:
IMAGINE WAKING UP LIKE A NARC & THINKING ABOUT "WHO I CAN MANIPULATE TODAY"?
:troll2:
-
Directly… indirectly… never have anything to do with the narc ever again
Why You Seek the Narcissist´s Downfall?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEKlbibSH2o
Being single is freedom!
Why It's BETTER to Be SINGLE |
STOIC INSIGHTS on The BENEFITS of SINGLE LIFE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti70c8jp7NM
There are those that mock at making amends for wrongdoings to others , there is no goodwill in them , their only focus is selfish gain !
This Is How Narcissists React When You Stop Giving Them Attention!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDk_9CsaQuc
Narcissist: I need your obedience, but I get to make the rules as I go along.
Healthy person: Hell will freeze over before I give you any blind obedience.
Your Disobedience Toward A Narcissist's Control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lwtDXYbrdg
The narc has to be right about everything because of course they think they know everything.
The Narcissist Will Try to Break You & Your Boundaries
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nC6v6gfnvk
-
HOW THE NARCISSIST UNDERMINES PEOPLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl95UMdjyac
@Dee-mj3pu
3 hours ago
They are not on your side. You are not a team.
The narc is only out for himself! Period!
-
The 5 Most Common Manipulations of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBwy7Jof-KA
@remembermyname718
5 days ago
1. They keep your text messages even if they pretend to don't read them (they read them and enjoy them)
2. If they blocked you before, they will have backed up everything (the smear campaign)
3. They have an agenda where they write down your reactions or moments that they find important to use against you (if you find it, don't read the contents)
4. They use silence both to punish you, and to make you feel guilty, and to manipulate you, and to make you suffer. (They are looking for a way to restore the balance: you at the bottom, they at the top)
5. Denying is the same as lying (they are pathological liars, never challenge them)
-
5 Comments That Easily Trigger the Narcissist’s Rage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgJICqQja_g
@KBArchery
6 hours ago
1) I disagree. (How dare you disagree w me)
2) You hurt me. (Your needs trigger them) Gaslighting. Defensiveness. Denying. Lying.
3) I need space (Fear of abandonment. They see it as rejection)
4) You are being selfish. (They don’t see themselves this way. Sensitive to criticism)
5) I’m done/walking away. (Huge trigger. Toxic meltdown or guilt trip)
-
Why Did The Narcissist Discard me? - (5 Reasons Narcissists Discard People)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzofUAACVgU
They discard you if and when you bust them for cheating, or the narcissist can no longer control you or you are of no use to them anymore.
-
NARCISSIST’S DISCARD: 3 Reasons Narcissists Discard (And Why It's Not Your Fault)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09e5VYlZYEs&t=375s
NARCISSIST'S FINAL DISCARD: How To Know When Over is Really Over
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzeACaJSMK4
The Narcissist's Final Discard: 3 Things to Do Immediately After Getting Rid of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9MjP0T9GmI
NARCISSIST'S DISCARD PHASE: What to Expect and What to Do Next
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AK3L__WC0BE
The Narcissist and the Discard: The Real Reasons They Discarded You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7k80Xx9RsOw&t=165s
Why Narcissists Discard Their Targets So Cruelly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SaIY3UcOu0
Two Types Of #Discard By The Narcissist - (Discard Methods)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lqYVx_4XHg
Narcissists Final Discard - How Final Is It?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K2nT63yB5w
7 Lightbulb Realizations After Narcissistic Discard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSIIEyHUfKo&t=519s
Seven Reasons why Narcissists Discard People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_O9Cq_QJOSg&t=128s
How To Respond Wisely When A Narcissist Discards You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aa-BsyYMBGs&t=283s
-
:smee!:
:notsmee:
-
HOT OFF THE PRESS!
I have no idea what this is about, but it looks bigger than my similar story.
It is a facebook post in the group "Expose Corruption, Civil Rights Violations, Judges, Cps"
I'm compelled to post this stuff here cuz it has the word GASLIGHTING.
And it looks ugly.
I presume this is in America. It fits the Profile.
DP Pertuit
·
These individuals stalking, harassing & plotting are so obvious, that other people that I see at the gym witness this and have said to me “Seems like you have some obsessive boyfriends following you, we see what’s going on”.
This is without these people knowing what has been going on for months.
So to do my best to avoid unnecessary drama, I move to another gym, they follow me to the new gym and do the same thing.
These individuals and group, as previously said have continually and intentionally sabotaged (4) sources of income for me since November 2022. Attempting to make it impossible for me to have a business, job or income; because they follow me everywhere, cause scenes and purposely ruin professional relationships. They do this by using the justice system illegally with blatant lies and also by telling my business relationships / partnerships blatant lies about me.
The truth is, the lies they continually use to sabotage every aspect of life; are in fact exactly what they are doing themselves.
Again, here is the simple list of what they have been doing, have done and continue on trying:
1. Stole property and money belonging to me.
2. Identity fraud
3. Mail fraud
4. Kidnapping, Unaliving & Trafficking attempts
5. Hidden & illegal recording devices inside my own house.
6. My own house temporarily taken from me (this is not a house I was renting, my name is on the title to this house & property).
7. Cut off my cameras on my property that I had access to, put their own cameras, threw my children’s stuff outside & changed the locks.
8. Repeatedly filed false reports to the authorities with blatant lies attempting to set me up for false criminal charges. This has happened many times over a long period of time.
9. Gang stalking, stalking, harassing and threatening myself & my children.
10. Using our reports about the actions and crimes against myself & children to take my children away from me and give me I’m to individuals who are also involved in what has been happening to us.
11. Sabotaged (4) sources of income / business since November 2022
12. Used my reports and truth speaking to illegally put me in a psychiatric facility, while intentionally ignoring our reports and requests for help, also knowing the basis for this was based on blatant and provable lies and doing it anyway.
13. These individuals lie under oath; also provable.
14. They continue to do anything they can to prevent me from speaking the truth, exposing them, going to prison and to prevent me being “able” to testify against them in court.
15. Continuous gas lighting
16. Blaming each other and admitting everything
17. Fraudulent life insurance policies & unaliving for the payout.
18. Hacking
19. “Energy harvesting & spell work (in the worst aspects), including death spells against me & my children” this was told to me by one of them directly
20. Bribery
21. Coverups
Also, from what I was told, it was part of a specific persons “initiation” into the “secret group” to “sacrifice me”. “Blood oath’s and selling their souls”.
Attacks and plots involving “Family”, “Family Court”, Government, Judges, DAs, Police Department, Sheriffs Office, CPS, Doctors, Nurses, Church leaders involved, Secret “Groups” and others. Individuals / names are known and have been shared
Ron Tello Culley
How did this start? What is the cause?
-
:tello: "News to me...."
Shape Shifting Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lMJmq5tfR8
@mostpeoplearebots
6 years ago
this is more important to know than people realize- every one of these pieces of crap have attempted to clone me and then play out my good qualities while attempting to make me out to look like them aka the copier empty one etc.
and trying to explain this to normal based people is hell, because as you try to explain that you're being copied, they don't care or get how damaging it is and think you're the one being the problem by pointing it out etc.
-
When A Narcissist Realizes You Refuse To Be Controlled
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28eUzjSFL90
@candacetharp9717
3 years ago
I was told I was disrespectful. No, I was actually disobedient. The need for control is outrageous.
-
:tello: "This is pretty neat!"
The most powerful frequency of the universe
- you will feel God within you healing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDZglyqYzlg
-
Why Chosen Ones Cannot Be Around A Lot of People - Revealed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Psa0OAKvMpY
@The Ron
Today
Now I know why I'm hated by some people, even my own family.
It’s annoying to me to be intimidating to people while doing nothing at all. I have been told this numerous times and have felt that I make people uncomfortable at other times. I have no idea why and it’s very mind boggling.
I struggle with the common banter that everyone seems to relish. I have to be very careful of what I choose to say and what words I use. I am mindful of how I move through the abyss of humanity without attracting overt attention.
I'm stimulated by thinking new thoughts.
The more I learn, the more I realize what I don't know.
I’m proud of being a chosen one. It’s been one hell of a ride.
The only thing is that in my solitude I do not feel lonely. I love to be in peace, alone and enjoying my space! It humbles me.
I’d like to warn any chosen ones in the prime of their youth: Stay away from people who give you a bad vibe. Trust your instincts. They are always right.
-
NEVER EXPOSE YOURSELF | Stoicism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mA9bNx9OJNw
"Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good." - Marcus Aurelius
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How to Escape Mediocrity and Mental Illness - The Road Less Traveled
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahSc8vDSOKc
@_the.awakening_
4 months ago (edited)
The journey to transcend mediocrity and mental illness is often mistaken for a path of gentle self-improvement, yet it demands a confrontation with the darkest aspects of our psyche.
Many embark on this journey seeking solace, only to discover that it requires dismantling deeply ingrained habits and beliefs. True transformation is not just about self-reflection; it's a radical upheaval of our very identity and the narratives we've clung to for comfort.
Remember: pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.
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"Narcissism" is the Modern Word that Replaced "Evil"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TB3sZzI3AmY
@walkingthroughghosts
2 years ago
Another term they used for psychopathy was "morally insane" and yes society profits big off addiction and dysfunction.
I can't even stand the word "content" anymore. People just live consuming this "content" everyday to the point where we have no more real content within ourselves in REALITY.
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What is "projection"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58kED7LSSBk
@MsKK909
3 years ago (edited)
Projection is actually my favorite Narc trait! It is like he/she is giving you hand written list of his/her own transgressions and flaws. It’s confession by projection. Once you understand it and can see it, it makes everything so much easier to accurately assess your relationship. That’s the first step to getting out.
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I'm beginning to feel as though the whole world is one big Narcissistic Theme Park.
DARVO | The Abuser's tactic of blame-shifting that causes you to blame yourself for the abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Muh_rO_0xtc
@unleashingpotential-psycho9433
5 years ago
Unfortunately many manipulative people learn how to blame others very well to make it feel like it was the other persons fault.
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How to Handle the DARVO Method
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF-ZevEXVu8
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Narcissists Manipulate w D.A.R.V.O. Technique
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJJy5pW3W_w
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10 Steps to Crush a Narcissist's Smear Campaign Permanently
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sfKB_MlANU
@FoulOwl2112
7 months ago
And most importantly, DON'T WAIT!
They're not going to change. They won't learn by example. They won't be inspired by your loyalty. They'll never grow to respect others boundaries etc.
It's all just a waste of time and energy.
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Narcissism and the D.E.E.P. Technique
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HcU3sdrzU0
@JC-bu6vl
2 years ago
Having a conversation with a narcissist is like a nightmare you can't wake up from.
This means you cannot talk to them at all ever. They're like invisible black holes swallowing and destroying nice people nearby them.
Move on and lessons learned.
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What does it mean to go "gray rock"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ly0EfWUYArU
@drlarrymitchell
4 years ago
My tip: get an actual small gray rock, and keep in in your hand. In convo, squeeze it, run your fingers over it, and remember the game that's being played.
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Use This Gray Rock Method to Conquer Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4s-YDjfjE3g
How to use the Grey Rock method effectively
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dxlrwuThKw
UNDERSTANDING THE GRAY ROCK METHOD: With 4 Tips
to Upgrade Your Gray Rock Game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EXxzYZLG6w
This is NOT how narcissists gray rock
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkJsl_mnRe4
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How to Respond to Narcissists When They Disrespect You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fK7MLz0uajw&t=487s
Get Rid Of A Narcissist With These 5 Steps
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4EUfhuu1_U
10 Ways to Manipulate a Narcissist | (Keeping the Peace with a Narcissist)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQSg15sXdEQ
5 Ways To Torture a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krUaqbRy4LU
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Why did the narcissist leave you ?
The narcissist had to leave you at some point because he/she really had no other option. And it's not about justifying it. The narcissist lied to you from the start; you were manipulated.
They made you believe they were serious. It was all so believable but the narcissist sold you a lot of lies. They lied about their plans, abilities, and character. And finally, at some point, everything started to fall apart. Narcissist began to have many difficulties and problems. There were many fights and arguments. All this happened because the narcissist couldn't live up to the high expectations they set for you in the beginning.
(In the case of Ron Tello, he went Gray Rock on the Old Bag and refused to buy into her bullshit any longer. He reached his threshold of pain and the breaking point of mediocrity.
Simply stated: Narcissistic Supply has an Expiration Date and his number was up.
Now, his Narc has abandoned him in Big Bear holding his own, while she sunk her hooks into the New Supply, living in a camper van at the beach without an umbrella or sunscreen.)
Therefore, at some point, the narcissist has no choice but to run away like a typical thief, a con artist and a coward. The narcissist runs away because it has all become too difficult and overwhelming for them. That's why everything started to fall apart That's why the narcissist started to get mad. They couldn't carry out what they told you because it was all a lie.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-did-the-narcissist-leave-you
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When you tell a narcissist “I am not playing your mind games”, what will happen?
Narcissists, of the evil triads, know that when you say something like this you are playing their mind games. To a narcissist with no sense of values there is only loss and temporary satisfactions. There is no love. It simply doesn’t exist. I know this to be 100% true.
The narcissist wants your love and admiration and they observe this from a distance. The truth is they don’t know what you see in them. Their entire life is mind games. That’s why they are such experts at it. The only thing they fear of you is the opposite of love and admiration - indifference.
They know this trait very well. They use it on you all the time. They want you to be humbled by them. They feel great joy knowing they had the power to break you. In reality that is all that matters. To beat a narcissist at their own game you need to mimic their behaviours. One key thing to master is indifference.
This is not narcissistic injury. But remember you need to be convincing against the consummate actor. You don’t warn your enemies you are going to shoot them in the back. You just do it. But be prepared to start a new life.
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The Universe Will Compensate You
for Your Wasted Years
In this enlightening video, we explore a captivating concept that could significantly alter your perspective on your past and future. We unravel the universe's secret power to transform what seems like lost time into the foundation of a new beginning. This journey reveals how the universe orchestrates subtle signs, serendipitous encounters, and unexpected opportunities not as mere coincidences but as part of a grander scheme aimed at guiding us towards spiritual renewal and fulfillment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pe4T35x5mP4
@misterbulger
1 month ago
Never second guess how you spend your time if you know you're doing your best to live and enjoy life.
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Do relationships with narcissists always
have to end badly?
Absolutely yes. Narcissists never end relationships peacefully because, by the end of the relationship, they start hating you to the core. Narcissists believe you are the biggest reason relationships don't work. Had you put more effort into pleasing narcissists, then relationships would have worked.
Narcissists are completely irritated and annoyed by your presence; they just can't tolerate you. Narcissists will vent out their anger and hate while ending relationships. Narcissists will discard you like you never mattered to them. Sometimes narcissists will behave badly toward you because they want you to leave them. Sometimes narcissists will vanish from your life without giving any explanation; this will cause pain, anxiety, helplessness, and worthlessness.
Narcissists don't have empathy or remorse; they end relationships badly because they don't care about you or your relationship. Narcissists just want to replace you.
https://spiesliesnpdabusehealing.quora.com/Do-relationships-with-narcissists-always-have-to-end-badly?topAns=1477743745187538
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A narcissist is a fraud
A narcissist uses tricks, manipulation, persuasion and deception to make people believe something that is not true. The narcissist paints an image of himself that is not consistent with facts and reality. The narcissist will use suggestions aimed at pointing out specific facts or situations, knowing that they do not apply to him. The narcissist deceives you through deception, intentionally making you believe something that is not true.
He forces you to believe it, he does it for his own gain. Deliberately creates a false impression. The narcissist tricks you into believing that you have something great with him. Makes you believe you have understanding. The narcissist tells you that he has something to offer that will benefit you. He’s telling you he has something you can appreciate.
You decide to get involved, you commit your time and efforts. You decide to devote your energy and money to this specific goal, expecting satisfactory results. You expect it to be worth it, that it will be important and meaningful. You expect it to have the meaning you give it. You expect it to be as important as it is important to you. A narcissist is very persuasive, he uses persuasion, he convinces you through arguments or temptations, he makes you believe that you will get a return on your investment and this is where the problems begin.
The problems begin even though the narcissist has been very persuasive, suggesting that he has so much to offer and many things that will benefit you. The narcissist is only involved with you because you have something to offer. The narcissist caught your interest, attracted your attention, only because he wanted to participate in what you had to offer. The narcissist knew you wouldn’t be interested in someone who couldn’t give you anything in return. Who is not able to reciprocate what you give, that is why the narcissist deceived you, lied about his abilities, lied about his personality. He made you believe that your investment would pay off.
Depending on the goal and the situation, the narcissist likes to use another trick. This is a very predatory and exploitative tactic, but it is also very effective, which is why the narcissist uses it. The narcissist exploits your weak points.
The narcissist takes advantage of your weaknesses, targets your loneliness, difficult family or financial situation, your uncertainty and health problems. The narcissist takes advantage of your lack of knowledge and awareness, lack of information. A narcissist has no conscience, he is so focused on himself and his goals that he doesn’t even think about how it will affect you.
A narcissist only cares about what he wants, and you have what he wants, so he will do everything in his power to get it from you, extort it, steal it, and exploit it. The narcissist plays the role of a charming, unique and wonderful and charismatic person, he plays the role of a very persuasive person. This is how he gains your trust and confidence and continues to do so until he gets what he wants, get what he wants from you.
You begin to realize that nothing he said, nothing he suggested, nothing he promised came true. There is a confrontation and then you feel bad, you feel guilty and ashamed because you decided to discuss this topic with him, because you had expectations, because you expected something from him. The narcissist makes you feel like you are not worthYou begin to realize that nothing he said, nothing he suggested, nothing he promised came true.
There is a confrontation and then you feel bad, you feel guilty and ashamed because you decided to discuss this topic with him, because you had expectations, because you expected something from him. The narcissist makes you feel like you are not worth it.
It makes you feel like you don’t deserve anything valuable or meaningful. This happens regardless of how much you have invested in the narcissist, how much of yourself you have invested in such a relationship. The narcissist may even convince you that you just need to be patient, that you need to wait a little longer, or they may convince you that you need to invest more time and resources. This is how the narcissist manages your expectations by using empty, false promises. The narcissist makes you believe that there is some reward waiting for you in the future.
But no matter how long you stay with a narcissist, nothing will ever change, no promises will ever be fulfilled. The narcissist lets you down so often that disappointment becomes the norm. You expect the narcissist to fail to live up to your expectations and hopes, and this helps him even more. As you start expecting less and less from a narcissist, he gets away with more and more.
When you have invested all your time and all your resources in a narcissist, you don’t want to leave, you don’t want to accept that you have invested all your time and all your energy, all your efforts, money, feelings and emotions. You have invested everything in something that will never pay off in the way it will benefit you. It won’t pay you back like you expected.
You want to believe the narcissist’s lies, you want to believe that if you stick it out a little longer, it will be worth it. You believe that it will be worth everything you’ve been through, all the pain and suffering you’ve had to endure, and the narcissist knows it. He knows what’s going on in your head. The narcissist knows that you are completely hurt, he knows that you are willing to believe anything.
You still have hope, you still want future events, that’s why the narcissist uses manipulation, uses empty, false promises. A narcissist plays on your emotions, plays on your feelings, plays on your hope. Hope for the future, for a different outcome, for change. The narcissist wants to convince you that staying with him, that his charm, strength and attractiveness will somehow benefit you or protects you from danger, from the outside world.
Its purpose is to trap you and make you addicted. The narcissist wants to make you feel like you can’t leave, like you can’t start over on your own. This is intended to make you feel like you can’t live without the narcissist. The costs of staying with a narcissist far outweigh the benefits. Losses outweigh gains. The closer you are to the narcissist, the more you rely on him, the more trapped you become, the more the narcissist will take advantage of you and deprive you of your resources.
When you find out who you are dealing with, when you refrain from investing, from giving up your time and resources, the narcissist will move on to another source of supply, to someone else, and the whole cycle, the whole process, starts all over again.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/A-narcissist-is-a-fraud
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Dear Narc,
-
Fun With Your Narcissist! How To Beat Them At Their Own Game And Enjoy It
Since this video has been published, narcissists have gone out of control. Check out the world they are creating, here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUqeoJPzCYg
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Why don't narcissists get
the help they need?
They literally don’t think there’s anything wrong with them, in fact, they believe there’s something wrong with you.
It’s too painful for them to accept their issues, so instead they avoid accountability by blaming their victims.
They have to want help, but they’re too busy GASLIGHTING and JUSTIFYING THEIR ACTIONS; no matter how bad they are. So sad!
Getting help requires self reflection , atonement, and accepting the truth. Something a narcissist can NEVER do nor face because they would be forced to acknowledge that all this time they were the monsters in the manipulationship. They are emotionally undeveloped people who lack the ability to process pain nor understand the full impact of their decisions. It’s just easier for them to create a character and pretend rather than face reality .
Because society enables and rewards their awful behavior! Lundy Bancroft sums it up best when he speaks about how they turn everything around on the abused. It's way too easy to let them bully everyone else out of fear of becoming a target. We need to Collectively STAND UP to these bullies!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW-MW6z4ST4
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Ten Signs of Narcissistic Neglect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McAVX0DM7Qw
Tricking narcissists into feeling bad for their actions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaRHBag-oGE
7 Things Narcissists Do When They Lose Control Over You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HneSzPXChhM
7 Comments That Easily Trigger A Narcissist's Anger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HkbTJHTh84
Top 5 Problems Created By Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1DELgDfcjU
Top 10 Indicators That Narcissists Can't Manage Life Maturely
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSEmA6kTFPk
How to Trigger Narcissist Collapse by Asking THIS Question
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8y1mFgaj7b8&t=190s
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Narcissists are Satan's Agents: Proof that They're Evil!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkGG_wu9LaA&t=763s
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How to Beat a Narcissist at Their Own Game | Story time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-xULFXRHT0&t=229s
@theartzscientist8012
5 months ago
I believe to defeat a narc, you need to stop caring what they think. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Set boundaries!
-
This Is Why Narcissists Can't Maintain Relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMkIrCszqRc
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Clear Warnings From The Universe Of An Evil Person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcYBaHxZFxA
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What is "love-bombing"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhILcuoVhgE
@TheCommentBandit
4 years ago
It's freaky how they all instinctively have the same personality patterns...
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Why do narcissists seem to
get away with it all,
all of the time?
This is all smoke and mirrors.
The female narcissist ex that I personally have experience with exuded an aura of confidence and self-assuredness when I got to know her from a distance. Once I got closer, her insecurities about her age (she was 47 but carried around a fake driver’s license that said she was 40), appearance (she was physically attractive but held onto hurtful things that a classmate had once said to her in high school), and her abilities seeped out like pus from an old infection. Shortly after starting a romantic and sexual relationship with her, she revealed so much rage, jealousy, and overall bitterness that her negative energy slowly consumed me.
Narcissists are incredibly flocked up children who live in a fantasy world — unable to deal with reality, they live in a permanent state of denial where they can pretend to not be the lying, cheating whores, con artists, or useless social parasites they are. They are too weak to live their lives as responsible adults so they are relegated to a merely pretend life where they are admirable and looked up to by those they secretly want to be. In order to do this, they become great liars and manipulators while remaining generally secretive about how miserable their lives are. Because I find attention whores so incredibly off-putting, I was initially attracted to how private she was, thinking that this was someone with a strong sense of boundaries. Lesson learned. There is a big difference between private and secretive.
Once I started to discover the painful reality that the real version of her was not like the person she pretended to be in the beginning, I started to ask her questions to things I already knew — such as whether she lived in a house or apartment — just to see if she would lie. Of course, these on-going tests proved that she was a compulsive liar, which all narcissists are. They are shame-based individuals so anytime they are put in the spotlight, they panic and end up lying. It is a sub-conscious reaction; they really can’t help it.
So in the end, after I brutally dumped her and called her out on everything she had lied about with proof, screenshots of text messages that she had forgotten about, etc. she just sat there with a glazed look in her eyes, looking off into space and muttering anything she could say to either shift the blame to someone else, shift the blame to the pandemic for her bad behavior, shift the blame to me for making her feel insecure, or shift the blame to her husband for neglecting her or not knowing how to get her off like I could.
In other words, she is a crazy, delusional, irrelevant hag who goes out of her way to feel validation in an attempt to feel like she’s not a complete loser in life (which she is). I’d bet money that she has not told her husband about the affair and will continue to pretend that everything is peachy around him but I wouldn’t say that she is getting away with anything. It’s just that she is always in denial and lies to herself constantly about who she really is and what she does. In the end, there is no escaping who she is and living through the consequences of all her poor life decisions over the years.
One day, it is all going to hit her and when it does, it’s going to hit her hard. As I told her the last time I saw her, “You don’t deserve me. You deserve your life and every flocked up thing about it.”
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-seem-to-get-away-with-it-all-all-of-the-time?topAns=306266129
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How does a covert narcissist attack their victims?
The covert Narcissist uses some “poor me” victim story or drama to draw in a sympathizer.
She asks that compassionate, listening person for her thoughts and feelings about this kind of situation. She flatters her new “friend” for being so wise and understanding. She looks at her rescuer with awe, wondering aloud how she ever functioned without this wonderful hero.
Then the day comes when she “achieves” something: stands up to the boss, pays her own electricity bill, gets a nice haircut. Something “better” than her hero.
And she smugly turns to the hero and says, “This is something you’re not so great at, eh?”
But while she’s on that subject, haha, so funny, look at this other thing you’re so silly about. And SERIOUSLY? You’re going to wear THAT??
And then a sigh because you’ve let her down. And then a little outburst of rage because her problem came back and you had promised to fix that for her.
Then she is using all your deepest insecurities against you, mentioning them in an inappropriate context. Like sympathetically talking about your constipation problem while you’re chatting with an important new business contact. Or pointing out how it’s your fault that she lost her temper and called her boss the “C” word because you are always going on about how you are superior to YOUR boss. Now she’s fired and can’t pay the bills so you’d better do it.
It continues in this vein until you are a worn out dishrag and you leave her because you don’t care about anything or have any more energy to deal with it. But you feel guilty, because, of course, she is right about some of the things she said about you. After all, they are things you told her yourself.
And she knows you feel guilty. Which is why she then tells all your closest friends and family about how much you abused her, using a carefully-curated list of your very own faults that you yourself revealed to her.
Because if you do anything whatsoever to defend or redeem yourself, it will prove that you were using her all along and that you are a worthless piece of shite who ruined her life.
She then takes on all your “heroic” qualities for herself and posts memes on Facebook about never putting up with someone who doesn’t appreciate her for exactly who she is.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-covert-narcissist-attack-their-victims?topAns=137423500
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Why does a narcissistic do things transactional,
and where does it stem from?
Since narcissists do not have self-esteem, which is an internal, love-based source of validation, they are constantly seeking external validation in the form of adulation and admiration. That is their drug, and they valuate people and things based on the quality and quantity of validation those people offer to the narcissist.
Narcissists lack the empathy to process and reciprocate love, therefore they can’t and don’t value it like healthy people. The only kind of “love” they can feel is how important and exalted someone makes them feel. Subconsciously, narcissists see people as commodities who supply them with validation. Instead of bonding with people via love, they valuate people based on their supply and keep them around only until their supply runs out.
When a person no longer makes a narcissist feel exalted or superior, the narcissist no longer has a use for that person, so they discard them in favor of seeking a new source of supply. Obviously it’s a very cold and calculating thing to do, but that’s how narcissists operate. Regarding people as a commodity explains the transactional element of narcissistic behavior.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissistic-do-things-transactional-and-where-does-it-stem-from
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What drives a narcissist insane?
Narcissists are easy to drive insane when you do any or all of the following:
Criticize them
One up them
Do something/anything better than them
Withhold praise
Withhold attention
Don't include them in a conversation at an event
Forget to introduce them in public
Fail to recognize things their preposterous fauxchievements
Forget your wallet after you invite them out for dinner
Withhold sex
Stop waiting on them hand and foot
Tell them you don't like their outfit, shoes, haircut
Wait longer to return their calls, texts, emails
Flirt with someone of the opposite sex in front of them - like they do to you
Tell them they are getting old and you see a few gray hairs
Tell them you think they are balding
Tell them they need to start working out or working out more
Minimize your sexual pleasure- say it was just “ok” or “alright”
Make them take care of the kids and have an expensive spa day without them
Ask them to pick up the tab
Ask for a date night, ha!
Tell them they need therapy or couples counseling
Tell them you are leaving or want a divorce
Make yourself the center of attention at a party and watch them squirm
Tell them you find another male/female astonishingly gorgeous
Buy a nicer house or car than them
Start talking over them
Stop listening to them
Give them the silent treatment
Discard them first after a devaluation
But beware bc narcissists are children in adult bodies with big words, a mean streak ten miles wide, no remorse, and a thirst for vengeance.
https://www.quora.com/What-drives-a-narcissist-insane?topAns=319246187
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What exactly does a narcissist want in a relationship?
There are the things the narcissist knows they want, and there are the things they subconsciously want.
What the narcissist knows they want:
Elevation of their status: Being with someone bright, attractive, successful, wealthy, connected, funny, or talented makes them feel more valuable than they do on their own. They want access to financial or other resources they otherwise don't have.
Loyalty: They expect you to confirm their story, eliminate relationships with friends and exes, and put them before everything else.
Respect for their boundaries: They expect you to not snoop around their belongings or talk when they're watching TV or want silence.
Unconditional trust: They expect you to not question them too much and blindly believe their stories. They want to always be right and win at everything.
Compliance: They expect you to not challenge them, to obey their commands without question, and to be in control.
What the narcissist subconsciously wants:
Regulation of their emotions: They can't control their emotions well, and they want you to prevent their feelings of low self-esteem and shame.
Narcissistic supply: They need attention to survive and will do anything to get it, whether through positive or negative means.
Validation: They want confirmation that they are correct and approval from you.
Admiration and praise: They want to be seen as unique, special, and admirable.
Confirmation of their false reality: They want you to validate the false narrative they've crafted since childhood.
In conclusion, above all else, the narcissist wants you to see them as the person they wish to be.
___________________________________
Great question,
There has been a popular meme getting around that says
“A narcissists demands that you give up everything in order to be their nothing”.
This simple and yet profound statement captures both very essence of a narcissistic relationship as well as the needs (or rather demands) of the narcissist.
A narcissists first and foremost concern will always be for themselves, their needs, their desires, and their wants. The concerns of others will always be secondary to a narcissist which eventually results in a narcissists significant other developing feelings of diminishment and insignificance. This sense of devaluation will eventually erode their significant others self-esteem and sense of self worth.
A narcissist only cares about themselves and sees others in terms of resource potential. Once that resource has been depleted, a narcissist will move on to the next and so on.
__________________________________________
In simple terms, they want attention, validation and to get their way/have their needs met at all times and at any expense. They are adults who are emotionally stuck at the toddler level and are therefore very egocentric.
When you understand what toddlers want and what happens when they don’t get it, you’ll understand narcissism. The only thing being an adult does for them is it increases their viciousness and level of damage they can inflict on others.
And they can spend their "Time-Out" in Jail.
________________________________________
Control…. That's why when a narcissist loses control of you they lose their minds. A big reason that a narcissist needs control is because when they were children, they had no control of any of the bad situations or abuse that they endured.
In a way it makes them feel safe.
They want control over everything in the relationship. They live by their own rules and you live by a different set of rules.
They want you to behave like a good supply or else you will be of no longer any use to them.
At the end of the day they are extremely self absorbed while looking like the perfect citizen to most.
Again, control is what they need.
_______________________________________
Better ask yourself why you are in a relationship with a narcissist!
No one screws a nut onto a nail. If you are/have been/want to be in a narcissistic relationship it is because you are as or even more narcissistic than your partner… just because you are a coward to prefer to accept miserable crumbs of something that is not even love instead of being brave and healing your heart, making you responsible for your life and your happiness.
A narcissist is someone who has a deep inner emptiness and tries to fill it by absorbing others. But that void is never filled, because nothing from the outside can fill an inner void. So when the narcissist feels empty again — that is, quickly — he leaves his absorbed and looks for another with the useless hope that it will fill him/her.
But there is another type of person —which I call a meta-narcissist— who also has a deep inner emptiness but tries to fill it by allowing himself / herself to be absorbed by another —the narcissist—. But when the narcissist finds that he/she does not fill his/her void, he/she abandons him/her and the meta-narcissist becomes depressed and feels abandoned. (The dumped person often hides under the name ‘victim.’)
AND TO HEAL:
The first thing that you must do is clean up all the blocked emotions and stress that you have —we all have— in your heart. Those are like ‘coloured glasses’ that tint everything we see and feel. They are, also, the way our mind controls us.
Then, you fill your heart with your own love, your own trust, and your own appreciation. You are the only one that can fill your heart. Nothing external will do. You’ll become responsible of your life and happiness.
You find your inner place of peace and joy. And intuition is developed. You’ll know from deep inside yourself all the answers —and the questions!— that you need to know.
To attain that, I use deep meditation. I use the Isha system.
Deep meditation means to let your thoughts pass by and give guidance of your life to your heart. You become responsible of your life and happiness. You find your inner place of peace and joy. And develop intuition.
Emotions are like water: if they flow, they are clear and healthy; if they stagnate, they root. If you totally block them —like a dam— then they most surely will explode.
So, let them flow. Just choose the right place to do that. Never in the face of another person, just in a matrix or pillow.
A wise person is the one that strives to achieve the perfect balance between mind, feelings and will, to become the best human being he/she can be.
Only if you love yourself, trust yourself, and appreciate yourself... those are the foundations of self-worth and self-esteem... will you be able to really love another person and be loved.
Remember that you learn to love by loving yourself; to trust in you is learned by trusting in you; to appreciate you is learned by appreciating you. Start small and soon you will see big changes.
Praise, bless, thank everyone, everywhere, every time.
It’s a change in your attitude toward life.
Give, do not take.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-exactly-does-a-narcissist-want-in-a-relationship?topAns=1477743754382140
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Why can a narcissist not see who they really are?
They see. A narc sees but they have missing parts of their brain and it’s a shame-based disorder. The fact that they are so ashamed makes them try to hide what they are - even from themselves. You will never convince them - they would have to want to deal with it and they don’t, won’t and can’t.
A brain scan will show the missing parts of the frontal lobes and left anterior insula in the narc brain. They are disordered so they will never see. Yes there are a few “self aware” narcs but don’t hold your breath your narc will be that. 99.999% of the time narcs refuse to see who they are as they are too busy running from their shame.
My ex husband knew something was wrong - he saw he was “broken” but he would then double down making his shame anyone else’s fault by dodging accountability and in his mind re-writing reality instead of spending a nanosecond on introspection. He was happier trying to destroy me and his kid - hurting your own child is not a human with compassion and empathy.
A narc, to hide from their shame, will instead dodge accountability, and rewrite their history to suit their made up reality. It’s all fake. How they treat you when they say they love you, “commitment” etc. - all fake.
The narc will use hurting you to temporarily feel better. It’s complex and you should always educate yourself on the neurology behind narcissism because when you understand the science it helps you get your mind around the fact these are shells - not humans with empathy and compassion. Read more on Quora.
BAM - "Block Avoid and Move-on" from the narc.
So the narcs - they see - but they won’t believe what they are because they are too busy making up their own reality, hurting people to hide from their shame.
https://www.quora.com/Why-can-a-narcissist-not-see-who-they-really-are?topAns=1477743738642844
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How does a person develop narcissistic personality disorder?
What makes a Narcissist be the way they are is caused from childhood either their genetics and/or their environment. It is generally thought thought that Narcissists typically had parent(s) or caretaker who were not loving, accepting of them, nurturing, validative, caring or supportive to them.
TRAUMA OCCURS BETWEEN 2–7 YEARS
Research has show they could eventually develop a Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the trauma they received between the ages of 2–7 years old when they are developing their personality. They could be affected through genetics or environment.
GENETICS
A natural parent who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can pass their DNA to their offspring who then can possibly develop into NPD. Studies have shown that a child has to be in a dysfunctional family before it can develop into Narcissism.
ENVIRONMENTAL EFFECTS
The environment that a child grows up in if dysfunctional can cause a child to develop NPD. Family dynamics and parenting styles are especially critical to a child’s emotional and psychological well-being (or lack thereof), and it is the latter factor in particular that seems to be decisive factor in the onset of Narcissistic Personality Disorder during adulthood.
Based on research findings, mental health experts have identified several types of dysfunctional and ineffective parenting that are heavily implicated in the development of NPD:
Authoritarian Parenting Style
Permissive/indulgent parenting
Pathological or abusive parenting.
Abandonment of the parent to the child through work, drug addiction, alcoholism or left the family, etc.
Parent does not on a regular basis validate a child’s feelings or thoughts.
A parent that makes fun of a child’s physical behavior.
A parent who is very controlling.
Extension of a parent’s desires or goals and not the child’s.
A parent who requires a child to be in a sport or activity that the parent wants the child to do. The parent forces the child to do the activity so the child is an extension of the parent’s pride.
DYSFUNCTION IN EMOTIONAL EMPATHY
All of these things help contribute to the child loathing and feeling shame, uncertainties and insecurities about themselves. They are riddled with insecurities, unworthiness, uncertainty and lack of validation. They lack the ability to be able to love or care about another person or their feelings because they are dysfunctional in their Emotional Empathy.
As a result, they do not have an adult in their life who they can trust or feel secure. They do not believe they are a “good” person because they feel that no one loves them and they are a “bad” child. They are not validated by their parents and this begins their downhill journey in feelings of insecurities.
PATHOLOGICAL MENTAL DISORDER DEVELOPS
During the ages of 2–7 years when they are developing their personality, their personality eventually becomes disordered because they have an unstable ego, lack confidence and coping skills, and security in themselves. They often have to deal with an NPD parent as a little child. At least as adults we had some coping skills but NPD develop little.
MANIPULATION SKILLS DEVELOP
As a result the child learns to turn toward themselves so that it is is the “child against the world” and becomes self-centered, selfish, untrusting of the world!. They begin to develop manipulation skills to get their needs met. Now all children are selfish and self-centered during their childhood and from a developmental perspective, having a "self-only" focus shifts toward a "self-and-others" focus as the child gets older and their brains mature. Some research suggests that the child’s abilities to control impulses, make decisions and think in a less self-centered way occurs between the ages of 6 and 13. However with a child who develops Narcissism they miss this developmental behavior.
“MASK OF PERFECTION”
During their childhood they are observing other people and slowly developing what I call their “Mask of Perfection” which helps them cope with all their insecurities. They hope that if they are perfect to the public then they will be accepted, valued and desired by the public.
They never received love and validation so they do not understand love and acceptance. They feel no one cared for them so they do not understand caring about someone's feelings and thoughts. They are terrified of the feelings they had in childhood and will do anything they can to avoid those same feelings. They actually loathe themselves.
A NARCISSIST’S CHILDHOOD
As a child they are most likely treated to abuse/neglect, abandonment or overindulgence when very young, people who develop NPD fail to form a core sense of self or empathy. Narcissists do not establish emotionally mature and stable identities, self-esteem, and feelings of compassion for others.
Their fundamental psycho-emotional emptiness leads them to continuously seek validation externally rather than from within. Their parasitic need for validation from others exacerbates their lack of empathy, leading to highly manipulative and abusive behavior to feed their endless need for attention, admiration, power, superiority and control.
A NARCISSIST’S EARLY ADULTHOOD
As the NPD reaches early adulthood (early 20s) they develop an unstable identity with a lack of self-esteem with low empathy. This results in the NPD being pathological or manipulative, exploitative, abusive personality that creates insidious devastation. People with NPD are exceptionally skilled abusers with a kind of technique that makes their abuse particularly destructive.
RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST
Those who are in a relationship with a NPD are familiar with Narcissists knowing too well their emotionally, psychologically, and often physically abusive behaviors which surface day to day, hour to hour. For those on the receiving end, people with NPD often seem monstrous and unrelenting. They cause extraordinary trauma, particularly in the lives of those closest to them, with little to no remorse but instead the belief that their behavior is justified and no apologies or remorse is seen.
NARCISSISTIC TYPICAL ABUSE
Narcissists have different personalities however their abusive behavior manifests in remarkably consistent ways, including the following ways:
1. Pitting people, particularly their family members, against one another (e.g., divide and conquer) as a means of control and to deflect blame and accountability.
2. Refusal to take responsibility and blames the victim instead.
3. Projection of abusive behavior and selfish motives others.
4. Shaming, mocking, baiting, and ridiculing (often presented as “teasing”) to gain an advantage and feel superior.
5. Sudden often rages with a hurricane’s ferocity which will drop you to your knees.
6. Endless demands for agreement and NPD admiration.
7. Inability to share attention with others, even their children.
8. Scapegoating “loved” ones;
9. Bragging, prolific lying, cheating, and bullying.
10. Gaslighting which makes you think you’re crazy.
11. Entitled, arrogant abuse of those below them, such as employees, waitresses, clerks, and secretaries.
12. Grandiose assertions of superiority, omnipotence, and perfection.
13. Indifference, impatience, anger, and disassociation with/from others’ illness, loss, misfortune, and so on.
14. Denial, often outrageous in the face of blatant truth.
15. Calculated charm on the surface to others and appalling treatment of family members behind closed doors.
SURPRISING HIDDEN NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
Those unfamiliar with NPD and narcissistic abuse typically find it incomprehensible. This is because the Narcissist’s lack of a moral compass is difficult to imagine without direct experience with it and because people with NPD generally work to present a picture of normalcy or even an ideal while wearing their “Mask of Perfection” life to outsiders.
Even most therapists are unschooled in NPD except for psychiatrists and its damage to those who live with Narcissists, which nearly invariably leads to depression, PTSD or Complex PTSD, changes in the brain, addiction, Trauma Bonding and a host of other lasting emotional and health effects like stress-related illnesses which includes heart disease, autoimmune disorders and anxiety.
OVERT VS. COVERT
Overt Narcissists are often publicly charismatic, making their family’s abusive experience invisible to others. Covert Narcissists are expert at keeping their pathology hidden in the shadows, often presenting themselves as devoted family member or wronged victims with outsiders unaware of their morally bankrupt behavior behind closed doors.
TRAUMA FROM NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
As a consequence, those harmed by Narcissistic abuse are further traumatized by the isolation from family and friends and self-doubt that comes with it. And they are vulnerable to judgment and ill-conceived advice from outsiders and therapists who don’t understand and may encourage them to forgive, confront, reconcile with, or otherwise open themselves to further and more abuse.
https://www.quora.com/unanswered/How-does-a-person-develop-narcissistic-personality-disorder?topAns=282101195&no_redirect=1
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How does a narcissist handle a strong minded person?
The truth is, a narcissist is not equipped to handle a strong-minded person. To them, the strong-minded individual represents an obstacle that stands in the way of their desire for power and control. A narcissist may try various strategies to get around this obstacle:
Setting boundaries: A narcissist will often attempt to manipulate others by setting unrealistic expectations or deadlines in an effort to test if they can bend someone's will and make them defer to their demands. This type of behavior rarely works with a strong-minded person as they are unlikely to bow down under such pressure or manipulation tactics; instead, they are likely to respond assertively and hold firm against any undue influence from the narcissist.
Playing games : Narcissists also employ psychological games such as "one-upmanship" or triangulation (a subtle form of competition between two people where one tries to gain superiority over the other) in order manipulate and control those around them . With strong minded individuals who have sound reasoning skills and good self esteem , these manipulative never work since these individuals can easily recognize what's being done and resist it accordingly .
Projecting blame: Finally, when all else fails, a narcissist may resort project blame on others – including those who are mentally stronger than themselves – either directly or indirectly through various means such as slurs, name calling , verbal abuse etc., in order make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings . While again this tactic may seem somewhat effective against weaker personalities , it is unlikely ever succeed against anyone with high standards of personal integrity .
In short then, while every situation is different based on dynamics between two people involved , it generally holds true that a narcissist struggles with handling a strong minded individual due largely because they lack any real capacity for understanding complex motives behind why someone might decide stand up for themselves or refuse comply with unjust demands imposed upon them by narcissistic manipulative tactics .
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-handle-a-strong-minded-person?topAns=1477743637240869
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Why do narcissists exist? What causes them to be that way and why can't they change when they're so detrimental to society?
Narcissists are created in loveless homes, by loveless families.
There will always be people who love power more than anything else,
And these people will often seek each other out,
And they're very likely to give birth to narcissists.
Narcissists have always been with us, narcissists will always be with us. On the day you die, there will be more narcissists in existence than on the day you were born.
So what to do about it?
The anonymous Indian proverb has it that we can either cover the world with leather, or wear moccasins.
To protect yourself from narcissists, you need to get moving. You need to have goals, dreams, ambitions — not materialistic, mercenary, grasping ones like a narcissists and psychopaths do, but meaningful goals that will express your spirit, which will manifest your soul into the material world. Narcissists have no chance against a man or a woman on a mission, trying to slow down, bother, impede such a person will result in nothing but grievous narcissistic wounds.
Every badly sung tune with awkward guitar accompaniment, clumsy attempt at DIY, new friend made at the bus stop takes you further away from the nightmare realms of narcissists and narcissism, and one more step into the safety of the real world.
Investing yourself in the universe is your best protection against narcissism, both your own, and that of others too.
Narcissism is fundamentally about a lack of worth, and a retreat into fantasy to compensate. Doing things that you consider valuable, important, spiritual are your sword and shield against the evils of obsession with self image.
Light dispels the darkness.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-exist-What-causes-them-to-be-that-way-and-why-cant-they-change-when-theyre-so-detrimental-to-society?topAns=277992022
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How do you treat a narcissist that says you're mean when he's the one who got caught being mean?
You treat them like the two year old they are, and leave ASAP. Do not try to reason, bargain, negotiate, or otherwise engage with the narcissist, except to the extent necessary for you to leave and never look back. The narcissist will never change, they will never see themselves for whom they really are, and they will never accept responsibility for their behavior. Instead, they will always blame you for their behavior, and accuse you of doing to them what they are in fact doing to you (i.e. being mean to you means they accuse you of being mean to them).
Narcissism is a profound and debilitating mental illness that is very difficult to spot and almost impossible to diagnose, because the narcissist will never agree to see a mental health professional, which is necessary for a diagnosis. Far too many narcissists are covert and their behavior in private, with their family and closest friends, is nothing like their behavior in public. Consequently, many people are confused because they cannot reconcile the two roles, and because the people who know the narcissist publicly would never believe the way a narcissist behaves in private. This is all by design, and provides the narcissist with a way to hide their behavior from the public eye. This leaves the victims of narcissistic abuse alone wondering what happened, without sympathy.
Narcissism is a terrible mental illness.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-treat-a-narcissist-that-says-youre-mean-when-hes-the-one-who-got-caught-being-mean
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How do you deal with a narcissist shifting blame onto you?
Only absolute amateurs bother arguing with narcissists. That leaves you with three choices.
Your first option is to make up a ridiculously weak excuse as to why you did whatever the narcissist is accusing you of. Have big eyes and act very sincere.
Your second option is to break into a deaths head grin, throw back your head, and laugh.
Your third option is to solemnly explain to the narcissist that yes, it's your fault - you are an incurably evil person, and that’s just what evil people do.
Don't care, :devil:
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Do the majority of narcissists have trouble controlling their anger?
Yes!!
Narcissists are parasites.
They target you for your goodness, energy, connections and status.
They do this to suck the life energy out of you.
And when they can’t be like you they flocking HATE you…they want you flocking DEAD.
You go from the pedestal to the trash compactor and the butcher block from hades because you did ONE thing WRONG to them.
You are not perfect anymore so to them you are now going to pay the price.
Narcissists think all good or ALL BAD
But to keep you around they have to sometimes give you a little candy..you have to be sucked of every ounce of life before they move on to the next supply source.
When you are in the all bad category they will do everything in their power to destroy you, but they need you at the same time.
Look, these people are flocking insane okay…
Maybe it’s not registered yet in your skull but maybe this will convince you to CUT all TIES.
There are some malignant psychopaths who kill their victims, mutilate their bodies and return to the scene of the crime to “Relive those precious moments”when they were torturing their victims and (too violent to mention) activities they were doing.
Narcissists are a step below this.
They hoover you back to finish the job (they want you to take your own life).
Think about it for a second, but no longer.
These people are dangerous to your mental health.
They are angry at themselves and they project that anger onto you and they will keep doing it until you are only a shell of a human left.
Leave them behind as it’s your best option!!
Pack your bags and make an escape plan secretly.... NOW!!
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What is the purpose of giving someone the "Silent Treatment"?
Narcissists gives silent treatment to keep you under control. When narcissists wants something from you or when they are grooming new supply, they will give you silent treatment.
Narcissists gives silent treatment when they don't get things their way, they will go silent to show they are hurt. In the end you have bow down to their demands.
Narcissists gives silent treatment when they want you to give them an apology for being wrong, unless you don't say sorry narcissists will be silent.
Narcissists gives silent treatment when they are grooming new supply or cheating on other supplies, in this narcissists will pick fights to give you silent treatment to focus on their cheating.
Narcissists can give silent treatment when they don't want you to question their activities coz they are doing something horrible, they don't want you to interfere. Narcissists will execute silent treatment to avoid being questioned.
Narcissists are childish, silent treatment is childish behavior to get what they want.
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What did you learn from your narcissistic relationship?
Don’t lose yourself trying to hold on to someone who does not care about losing you .
Stop breaking your own heart by trying to make a foxy relationship work that clearly isn't meant to work.
You can't force someone to care about you. You can't force someone to be loyal.
You can't force someone to be the person you need them to be. Sometimes the person you want most is the person you're best without.
You got to understand some things are meant to happen, but just not meant to be. Some things are meant to come in your life, just not meant to stay.
Don't lose yourself by trying to fix what's meant to stay broken. You can't get the relationship you need from someone who's not ready to give it to you.
Don't put your happiness on hold for someone who isn't holding on to you. Just move on and never look back.
Some chapters just have to close without closure.
Straight up !
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Did you feel traumatized after your relationship with a narcissist?
A narcissist will break you, break your spirit, strip you of your dignity, humiliate you, drag you down to the ground floor, and destroy your self-confidence and self-esteem. A narcissist will cause deep trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and depression.
A narcissist will lead you to all kinds of fears and insecurities, which will lead to all kinds of psychosomatic symptoms, which will lead to a significant deterioration of your health. A narcissist will make you have trouble falling asleep, have trouble staying asleep, and will keep you awake at night. Narcissus is the cause of long-term high stress levels and high cortisol levels.
This is extremely harmful, many people have very serious problems getting back to themselves. It is extremely demanding and time-consuming, requires therapy and various types of additional help, as well as an individual approach that is not widely available. Few specialists have experienced this in practice, and most of them, if they know anything about it, know it only in theory.
Before asking for any help, think twice, because sometimes you may end up in the gutter due to rain. It’s darkest under the streetlights, people go to specialists thinking that something is wrong with them, and the cause lies completely somewhere else. If the diagnosis is incorrect, you may spend many more years with the narcissist on strong medications.
Some people were even considered disordered, and others were misdiagnosed because the narcissist managed to manipulate all parties. There is nothing worse than going to the wrong person - it’s like missing cancer, we all know what the consequences can be. Delayed diagnosis often has irreversible consequences.
Toxic people manipulate their victims so much that the victim thinks they have a problem with themselves. If this person also hears it from a specialist who confirms it, we have a serious problem. That is why awareness of narcissistic abuse is so important so that people can recognize it in time.
In a toxic relationship, the problem is not you. The problem is the fact that you were with a toxic person who brainwashed you and manipulated you into thinking that you were the problem. You blame yourself and think about the narcissist all the time.
Reversing this is an extremely difficult task. If a narcissist is not detected in time, the damage is often largely irreversible, and damage that has already occurred can be only minimized.
It’s one thing when you think there’s something wrong with you for half a year or a year, and another thing when you think like that for several decades. It all depends on when you start detox. It all depends on when you start rehabilitation. The sooner you start, the better the chances and the better the prognosis.
When you are already broken by a narcissist, when you are already on antidepressants, this is the beginning of the road where you should benefit from the best help and support.
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What do narcissists want in a real friendship?
What they want is to find a way past your guard, so that they can sabotage you.
The narcissist is endlessly envious, and cannot stand your superiority. If they can convince you of your inferiority, then they feel they are better than you.
The narcissist attacks your foundations.
Narcissists begin with lots of flattery, gifts, accommodation of your wishes, and then when they have you addicted, they begin to cut off their supply, and replace it with abuse. This is done to make you feel worthless, the purpose is to collapse you, so that you stop doing the things you love. The idea is that you would have neglected those things while the narcissist was showering you with fake and phony love and affection.
I can't tell you how many people have tried to stop me from writing here, using this pathetic strategy. They are my inspiration to defiantly continue, they push me to work harder, and to create more.
Let's give all my narcissists
(for I have many)
a round of applause.
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How does a narcissist live with himself?
Narcissists are mostly normal humans. They act normal. You expect this to continue. Then they do something out of left field that makes zero sense.
They come on strong and make it clear they are invested in you and you are both either best friends forever, soul mates, or something like that. They put you in that #1 role in their life and treat you well. They pretend to agree with you and like whatever you like.
Until they don’t. Then they treat you horribly. But it was just a joke. It was a misunderstanding. They didn’t mean it like that. Why are you so sensitive for no reason? You’re just trying to cause drama by being upset about one little comment. But we’re still soulmates and best friends though so they’ll forgive you for being dramatic. You were dramatic when you asked that they not call you fat.
You constantly have to piece together their words or behavior that makes sense with the moments that don’t make sense—at all.
For a normal human, unusual moments of not acting like ourselves can be attributed to some unusual situation (not sleeping for 3 days, coming out of anesthesia, etc), or an underlying cause (having a midlife crisis that’s been building for decades), which if you look into it, you can find. And then it makes sense.
Narcissists still don’t make sense even if you look into it.
You then project and think, “If I were to treat someone this horribly, it would only be because they had done something hideous to me and I truly hated them,” so then you try to remember if you acted in a hideous way and assume you must have done something to receive such awful treatment out of the blue.
Your mind grasps at straws trying to understand what the heck is going on. This drains your physical and mental energy. Exhausted, the narcissist then manipulates you further, adding further confusion and stress.
You will try to logically support why you’re upset, but it’s hard to pinpoint what was wrong with what they said or did. You told them you got a promotion and they avoid eye contact, say nothing, yawn, and then look at their phone, but is that really so bad? It hurt, but can you really expect them to jump up and down or what? You’ll struggle to figure out what’s going on and why it’s wrong.
When you bring up things, even stating them in a nice and careful way, they’ll rage and accuse you of whatever it is THEY are doing. If they refuse to clean, they’ll call you a slob. If they are selfish, they’ll say to you, “You always have to get your way, don’t you?” even if you’d asked for a tiny basic thing.
When you finally realize this is way over the line, you leave or end things. You’re finally away from the stress, though still confused.
But now the narcissist has a full explanation for everything and a long heart-felt apology and promises of how things will be different. Plus they use a lot of guilt, sympathy seeking, etc.
You feel for them because you have empathy and this makes things confusing again. They just want to talk on the phone real quick or get a coffee and they’re in your neighborhood anyway. Maybe you should? If it all was one silly misunderstanding, or even if it was your fault, it would be such a relief and you could still go on loving them…wouldn’t that be great? And you get sucked in again.
Most people who aren’t also narcissists will end up blaming themselves for how a narcissist acts, and will try to change themselves instead of realizing the narcissist is the problem.
That’s just where the narcissist wants you! Feeling horrible, confused, sad, but trying to cater to them.
If you ever can get away from them, thoughts may nag you for years wondering if it really was all your fault and they were right about you with the insults they said and the horrible ways they treated you. It can take a long time to undo the toxic affect a narcissist has on you.
Knowing the red flags and understanding the pattern is what allows the world to make sense again. Then you know not to blame yourself for the things they do/did, and instead can focus on your own self-development.
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What are signs that a covert narcissist has been defeated?
1. Their reaction to the truth.
When dealing with someone who has a destructive narcissist personality pattern, it takes nothing more than being a truth speaker to set them off and defeat them truly. All it takes is speaking the truth, and they are fully defeated, and that's obvious by their reaction. Now, whether or not they admit to that is a whole other thing. A narcissist is never going to admit defeat even when clearly and very plain for all to see they have indeed been defeated. Assuming you're safe and operating from a position of strength, all it takes is to speak the truth, and I assure you, you have the upper hand, which, in my view, is clearly evidenced by the way in which they react to the truth speaker. Now, will you be hated? Absolutely. Will you be targeted? For sure. You cannot be both a truth speaker and on the narcissist team. That's impossible. The truth and the narcissist are like oil and water. They cannot comfortably coexist. The truth is fully repellent to a destructive narcissist. Why? Because their entire lives are built on a mountain of lies and deception. It's all an illusion, not least of which being their "I'm such a wonderful human being" performance. So needless to say, anyone who comes along and dare speak some truth into the situation is going to upset the apple cart in a big way.
2. Their reaction to boundaries.
Wanna know who and what you're dealing with? Set a boundary, have limits. Draw a clear line in the sand, say no. The narcissist's reaction to boundaries is like their reaction to the truth, nothing short of ugly, and that, my friend, spells defeat. Begin with the dirt honest truth and some good old fashioned limits and boundaries. Boom. That's all it takes.
3. Gaslighting doesn't work anymore.
When a narcissist can't succeed in gaslighting you, again, you'll be in for a dose of narcissistic rage. This is when their true colors come to light. The mask slips entirely, and you get to see the real deal, the reality of who and what you're dealing with as opposed to the false image and fake phony persona they parade around with. Now again, you know you've defeated the narcissist when they cannot succeed in gaslighting you. They know it and you know it, and they are none too happy about it.
4. Social media stalking.
Another sign you've defeated the narcissist is when they're stalking your social media profiles for real. Green with envy, little lookie-loos that they are, they can't drop a like or a comment to endorse or support you in any way. No, they're far too envious in stingy of spirit for that, but they do stalk. They scan all the socials like creepy little voyeurs, peeping through your living room windows, thinking you don't know. It would actually be comical if it weren't so sad. You know you've defeated the narcissist when you're busy living your best life, walking off into the sunset, doing your thing, whatever it is you do best, happy as can be. Well, they seem to have nothing better to do with their time than to stalk you on the interwebs. I'd call that defeat, a clear defeat.
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The Darkest Form of Narcissism – How to Spot Them and How to Protect Yourself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTtZsf4mUIQ
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Jesus said, Let the dead bury the dead.
The Narcissist is Dead Inside
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsvMrAITXtg&t=113s
@CrusaderforChrist-Channel
1 year ago (edited)
One thing that I noticed about narcissist, is that they know that something is wrong with them, they just don’t know how to come out of it. They lack self awareness. They just don’t know how to fix it, because their pride and selfishness won’t allow it.
Have you ever noticed how narcissist constantly interrupts? It’s that darkness in them rising up not wanting your words to penetrate through to their host. Demons are like parasites that use humans as “Host”. That’s also why narcissist mimic humans behaviors, cuz those demons in them don’t have those feelings naturally.
Except for hatred for mankind. That’s also why the narcissist enjoys seeing that they hurt you. It’s that demon(s) in them enjoying watching you suffer…
@philu4621
1 year ago
They never stop putting your character and your perception of yourself through a chipper shredder... you will always walk away feeling like nothing because they find a way to diminish you constantly
@carolynforge8586
3 months ago
I call them the walking dead.
@pendennis123
1 year ago
I never saw dead eyes like that before I met him. It was like looking into the soul of a reptile, truly.
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FUTURE FAKING
Future faking is when they promise something about your future without taking the steps to make it a reality.
Most narcissists will do this.
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What future faking IS vs what it is NOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV7hz7o7gIw
What is "future faking"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBMaZLBKNko
Phrases Narcissists Use to Future Fake You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAR6oYS_nkY
What Is Future Faking? | Explained!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d49Olm2hfUo
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A Private Detective's Take on a Narcissist
4/17/24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QJ9OhSDlxw
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What does a depressed narcissist look like?
A depressed narcissist is an interesting and complex character. While narcissists typically exhibit grandiose behaviors and an inflated sense of self-importance, depression can manifest in their lives as well. However, it's important to note that not all narcissists experience depression, and not all depressed individuals are narcissistic. Let's dive a bit deeper into what a depressed narcissist may look like.
Firstly, it's crucial to understand the basic characteristics of a narcissist. Narcissists often crave attention and admiration, have a sense of entitlement, lack empathy, and believe they are superior to others. They may constantly seek validation and engage in manipulative behavior to maintain their self-image. They tend to have fragile self-esteem that is easily shattered by criticism or failure.
When depression enters the picture, it can add another layer to their already complex personality. A depressed narcissist may experience feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness despite their grandiose facade. They may struggle with maintaining their highly polished image and may feel exhausted from constantly seeking validation.
One common trait you might notice in a depressed narcissist is a behavior change. While they typically exude confidence and charm, depression can lead to withdrawal and isolation. They may start to avoid social interactions, lose interest in activities they once enjoyed, and display a lack of motivation or energy.
Another sign could be a shift in their self-perception. A depressed narcissist might experience self-doubt and self-criticism, which can be quite challenging for their ego-driven personality. They may become hypersensitive to criticism or rejection, reacting more intensely than usual.
In some cases, depression can even lead to a "masking effect" where the narcissistic traits become less prominent temporarily. They may display vulnerability and express their feelings of sadness or despair, seeking comfort and support from others. However, this vulnerability could also be an attempt to gain sympathy or manipulate others into providing the attention they crave.
It's important to remember that diagnosing someone as a depressed narcissist should be left to mental health professionals. The combination of these two conditions can be complex and challenging to decipher without proper assessment.
In conclusion, a depressed narcissist may exhibit changes in behavior such as withdrawal and isolation, a shift in self-perception including self-doubt and sensitivity to criticism, and potentially even display temporary vulnerability. It's crucial to approach such individuals with empathy and understanding, as they are navigating the complexities of both depression and narcissism.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-depressed-narcissist-look-like?topAns=1477743749876602
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HOW TO BE A DANGEROUS HUMAN BEING
1. TALK LESS
Silence is powerful. You don't have to be a circus monkey and keep constantly talking.
A silent man is a very dangerous man, when you talk less, you keep people around you on their toes by making them guess what is going on in your mind.
2. MEAN IT!
Do what you say you're going to do. Accomplish your goals and people will pay attention. If people see and realize you're a man of your word and you do what you say you will, people won't dare to disrespect you.
They should know, when you say something, it has power. You can accomplish what you say you will.
3. DON'T GIVE A F*CK
When you stop caring, they start caring when you stop reacting to BS. When you stop reacting, it worries them as now they have no control over you and your emotions.
4. STAY MYSTERIOUS
We fear what we don't understand/know, Don't let them know everything about you. Keep them guessing. Suspense can be used to your advantage.
5. ACCOMPLISH SMALL GOALS
Try making your bed in the morning. If you do this regularly, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and not be afraid to try again or make the next tough decision.
6. CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS
You don't have to answer and react to everything. There are certain things you can't control. So reacting to everything around you is a sign of impulsiveness.
7. MAKE GRADUAL IMPROVEMENTS
You can't go to level 10 with level 1 habits.
- Start by reading one page.
- Start by writing one paragraph.
- Start by doing one workout Then focus on getting 1% better every day. Minor improvements over time lead to big changes.
If you complete read this Valuable post then Type 💯.
https://chauhanbabunath.quora.com/HOW-TO-BE-A-DANGEROUS-HUMAN-BEING-2
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This is the Crazy Eating Habit of Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkub7Bt6ESg
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Proof a Narcissist Doesn't Have Any Friends at all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op5PuVHIZQw
@danabaillie3948
1 day ago
Basically, the narcissist has no friends also because everyone is sick and tired of his/her CRAP!!!!
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
HA! My ex Narc got out of town when all her friends shunned her. Good move!
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7 Dirty Secrets a Narcissist
will Never tell You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZqKNnBfyno
@carparthero
13 days ago
Narcissists view the world in a very competitive way. They need you to feel small - so they can feel big. They need you to feel broken - so they can appear whole. they need you to doubt yourself - so they can be the source of all knowledge. They’re trying to fix themselves by breaking you.
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Chosen ones, 7 Signs You’re a Beacon in the Shadows
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3bX-cjXHp8
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:keelhaul:
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Do narcissists care about what people think of them, or could they not care less?
Narcissists are very much bothered by how people view them. For narcissists, having a good reputation among people is everything.
Narcissism is a shame-based disorder. Narcissists can't cope with shame when people view them negatively. Narcissists feel humiliated and insulted when people think badly of them. Narcissists will go to any extent to look good in front of people.
Narcissists care about how people view them. It gives them narcissistic supplies like attention, admiration, appreciation, compliments, and validation. Getting positive attention from people regulates their self-esteem.
When narcissists maintain a positive image among people, they prove they are good people, and it's hard for people to believe victims of narcissists. It's easy for narcissists to hide their dark side.
___________________________________________
Narcissists definitely care what people think as opposed to sociopaths. I think the difference between narcissism and sociopathy is ego. pwNPD cares very much about what people think. They work very hard at maintaining their public image. This is why they never take accountability for anything negative they ever do. They can’t be seen as flawed. This is also why they mirror their partners and others. They obtain favorable character traits from those around them so they can appear to be good decent people. They will also attach to people that can elevate their social standing. Even a good-looking partner can be a feather in the cap of an opportunistic narcissist. A sociopath, on the other hand, does whatever they want whenever they want and could care less about consequences or appearances. This was confusing to me at first as I was trying to decide whether my ex was a narc or a sociopath. Sometimes he cared and sometimes he didn’t. All the cluster Bs have overlapping traits but there are some differences. It is also on a continuum and sometimes a narcissist can have a bit of sociopathy in them like in the case of my ex.
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Do-narcissists-care-about-what-people-think-of-them-or-could-they-not-care-less?topAns=1477743752462766
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A day-by-day guide to healing from a narcissistic relationship: Day 13
Remove all narcissists from your future by taking the universe’s lesson to heart
The narcissist was not meant to remain in your life, he was just passing by … placed there in your life for a specific reason.
This theme occurs in a book I recently read, and it gave me new insights into thinking about the narcissist without having to ruminate over ‘why did he do this to me?’, ‘doesn’t he know how much I care for him?’, ‘wasn’t he my soulmate?’.
He wasn’t made a part of your life to show you love. He wasn’t placed there so that you can have someone to cherish. He was placed there to prepare you, to let you know that such dark nature exists, and that not everyone has the same goodness of heart as you.
There is something that you need to learn in order to ensure that you will remain safe from future narcissists. The universe placed the narcissist there to help you realize your vulnerabilities, such that you can make the proper precautions and strengthening of your boundaries. If you don’t use this experience to take the lesson to heart, the universe will continue to place narcissists in your life until you fully understand and fully learn the lesson it has carved out for you.
So view the narcissist not as your soulmate, but simply an instrument that was used to teach you a needed life lesson. Accept that is what he is, learn the lesson, and let him go.
https://pathtohealingsspace.quora.com/
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:notsmee:
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Managing Conflict With Narcissists
in Family Law Cases:
Strategies for Success
A narcissist is a person with an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. In family law cases, a narcissist often has difficulty understanding the needs of others, leading to conflict and difficulty in reaching a settlement agreement. Narcissists may also be more likely to engage in manipulative behavior and use legal tactics to gain an advantage in court. This can be especially problematic for ex-partners, children, and other family members who may be left feeling powerless and without a voice in the legal process.
SEE MORE:
https://bennerfamilylaw.com/2023/managing-conflict-with-narcissists-in-family-law-cases-strategies-for-success/#:~:text=Narcissism%20can%20have%20a%20major,to%20come%20to%20a%20resolution.
Narcissism can have a major impact on family law cases, as it can lead to difficulty in negotiating agreements, lack of empathy, and an inability to accept responsibility. This can lead to a tumultuous court battle where both parties are not able to come to a resolution. It is important for family law attorneys to be aware of the potential for narcissism in their clients and to take this into account when crafting legal strategies.
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How is a narcissist exposed in a court of law?
With truth backed by evidence. They’ve already planned the lies they will tell in response to everything wrong they’ve done.
For example, STBXGIC said under oath he was never unfaithful, abusive, or had homosexual hookups. Said I was crazy and a liar for stating he had.
Evidence was handwritten letters in which he admitted abuse and infidelity, his essay from attending domestic abuser classes, and his hookup gay profiles and emails. There was more, but the judge decided he’d seen enough.
Document as much as possible. Create an email account on a clean device, and BCC everything there. STBXGIC had installed spyware on all my devices, and deleted hundreds of messages and files. The bccs saved me in court.
ADDENDUM:
I wasn’t aware that abuse of survivors from the bench was so extreme, and so common.
Do prepare your evidence, but expect that a corrupt system helmed by narcissistic, sexist, racist judges will ignore your evidence AND your rights.
I’m fighting back. Please join me.
https://www.quora.com/How-is-a-narcissist-exposed-in-a-court-of-law
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Finding an Attorney who Understands Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2W5uGJ_Ovs
@naveedrehman2987
2 years ago
You can’t. Unless the attorney has gone through the abuse himself he or she won’t “get it.”
@Marie-sl8cm
3 weeks ago
Yes I never bothered trying to get an official diagnosis for my ex because it’s not illegal or unlawful to have a personality disorder. A court is not going to care about a diagnosis.
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How to Use Lawyers Against Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPtp57qF7Bk&t=6s
@PurplePinkRed
3 years ago (edited)
Yes, finding lawyers who understand narcissism can be tricky. Unless they've experienced it themselves or studied it, they simply do not know. The good thing is that lawyers do like winning and don't want to lose the case for you, so they do not gaslight you as badly as the average person does. I think learning about narcissism should be mandatory in high schools.
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Make Sure to Tell
Your Lawyer This.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHuRo3LyeCc
@Chuleta_9
2 years ago
It’s backwards to ask someone not to say “they’re a narcissist,” or not to get emotional. Of course you’re gonna get emotional, you’ve been abused psychologically! It’s considered psychological torture the way they skew your reality and cause you to even dissociate. The system needs to change.
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How Narcissists Use the Courts to Continue Their Abuse
As if the abusive marriage, relationship or business partnership wasn't bad enough, the narcissist has to escalate the matter by threatening legal action. The legal system becomes an unknowing and unwilling extension of the narcissistic arm reaching out to cause as much damage as possible. Their take no prisoners attitude stops at nothing to seek revenge for causing pain over some perceived embarrassment.
Here are eight ways a narcissist uses the legal system to bully their opponent.
Frivolous Lawsuits. Filing senseless lawsuits that have little merit for the point of forcing the opposing party to hire an attorney and incur unnecessary expenses. Many times these lawsuits are dropped but not until after the opposing party takes the narcissists threats more seriously and perhaps has even succumbed to a demand.
False Accusations. Narcissists will often beat their opponent to court by falsely projecting their issues onto the opponent. This false accusation forces the opponent to be on the defensive and causes the court system to frown when the opponent makes a similar charge against the narcissist.
Entrapment. Narcissists will incite and encourage their victims to act irrationally and then call the police on them. While technically this is not entrapment because it isnt a law enforcement officer doing the act, the victim will none the less feel trapped. This event is then later used as a threat in another lawsuit or civil action.
Gaming the System. This is using the laws designed to protect a person as a point of manipulation against them. For instance, not allowing a child to see or speak to the other parent on their time because that would give the other parent more time than them. Child custody laws are there for the best interest of the child and if the child misses the other parent, they should be allowed to speak with them.
Senseless motions/hearings. In order to delay the process, the narcissist will file senseless motions, excessive hearing, and multiple postponements. This is again done to drain the financial resources of the opponent and create an atmosphere of the never-ending-lawsuit. For a narcissist, all attention is good so dragging things out longer only benefits their ego.
Committing Perjury. Narcissists will lie about matters that are not material and are inconsequential to the case just to anger their opponent. This is technically not perjury unless the lie is relevant to the outcome. This slight lie in the face of other statements further taints their whole testimony for the opponent and is intended by the narcissist to frustrate the process.
Using Loopholes. Narcissists love to find loopholes in the law and use it their favor. However, if their opponent were to utilize a loophole against them, the attacks would be ruthless. For the narcissist, this is a one-way street where only they can dodge an issue.
Jury Tampering. Bribing or intimidating members of a jury to make a decision a certain way. While this is usually the stuff movies are made of, it still does happen in the courtroom. Narcissists frequently believe they are above the law and will not get caught.
https://psychcentral.com/pro/exhausted-woman/2016/03/how-narcissists-use-the-courts-to-continue-their-abuse#1
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Lawyers and Narcissistic Entitlement Syndrome
The word "narcissism" comes from the character made famous by the Greek poet Ovid, Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. In the story, Echo falls in love with Narcissus and gets rejected. The story makes clear that Narcissus is only able to love himself and not others. Conversely, Echo completely loses herself in her love for Narcissus and has no sense of self at all. At the end of the story, Narcissus tells Echo, "I would die before I give you power over me," and Echo responds that, "I give you power over me." Both Narcissus and Echo die because their love is unattainable. Like these characters, many of us cannot find a balance between ourselves and others.
One of the greatest problems facing young associates inside law firms is what I call Narcissistic Entitlement Syndrome ("NES"). Attorneys who suffer from NES often very quickly find themselves out of jobs -- whether or not they quit, are fired, or simply move between employers to deal with the disorder. I need to be clear that this, in my opinion, is an extremely serious subject and something I believe probably 10%+ of the associates in large and prestigious law firms suffer from. This is a disorder I see virtually every week in my conversations with attorneys and it is something that will cause problems in your career.
This article (a) defines NES and its symptoms, and (b) explores the effects of the Entitlement Syndrome on your career.
SEE MORE:
https://www.findlaw.com/legal/careers/law-career-management/narcissistic-entitlement-syndrome.html
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:deadhorse:
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Crossing The Lines: Narcissists And Their Disregard For Laws, Rules, And Boundaries
Beneath the charismatic facade of a narcissist lies a troubling trait that extends beyond their interpersonal dynamics— a blatant disregard for laws, rules, and boundaries. In this blog, we delve into the concerning behaviors that showcase a narcissist’s cavalier attitude towards societal norms and personal limits.
Understanding the narcissist’s disregard for laws, rules, and boundaries is crucial for individuals navigating relationships with such individuals. Recognizing the signs empowers individuals to set firm boundaries, seek support, and, in some cases, distance themselves from the potentially harmful influence of a narcissist. Breaking free from the cycle often involves prioritizing personal well-being, fostering resilience, and avoiding entanglements with those who consistently cross ethical and legal lines.
Sense of Entitlement:
Narcissists carry a profound sense of entitlement, believing that rules and laws don’t apply to them. This entitlement stems from their conviction that they are exceptional and above the constraints that govern others, fostering a dangerous disregard for established norms.
Manipulative Evasion:
When faced with rules or boundaries, narcissists are adept at manipulating situations to suit their agenda. Whether it’s bending the rules, exploiting loopholes, or outright breaking them, their ability to sidestep consequences showcases their cunning disregard for societal and personal boundaries.
Legal Consequences as an Inconvenience:
The potential legal ramifications of their actions rarely deter narcissists. Their focus on immediate gratification and personal gain often outweighs any concerns about legal repercussions, leading them to engage in activities that others might find ethically or legally questionable.
Exploitation of Others:
Narcissists view relationships as opportunities for exploitation rather than mutual respect. This lack of regard for personal boundaries extends to using others for their own gain, often blurring the lines of legality and morality in their pursuit of self-interest.
Rules as Tools for Control:
Narcissists may manipulate rules and boundaries to control those around them. By selectively enforcing or ignoring certain guidelines, they create an environment where they hold the reins, reinforcing their perception of superiority and dominance.
Violation of Personal Boundaries:
On a personal level, narcissists often disregard the boundaries set by others. Whether it’s invading personal space, prying into private matters, or manipulating emotions, their lack of respect for personal limits contributes to a toxic dynamic in relationships.
Explosive Reactions to Constraints:
When confronted with rules or restrictions, narcissists may react explosively. This defiance reflects their deep-seated resistance to being controlled or confined, further illustrating their disdain for any form of external influence.
https://narcissistabusesupport.com/red-flags/red-flag-narcissist-low-no-regard-rules-laws/
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:tello:
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Steps to Successfully Prove Narcissistic Abuse
in a Legal Setting
Are you ready to reclaim your power and hold narcissistic abusers accountable in a legal setting? Look no further. Our comprehensive guide features expert advice on successfully proving narcissistic abuse and increasing your chances of victory in the courtroom. Due to the insidious nature of this form of interpersonal aggression, survivors often face smears, disbelief, and disenfranchisement.
However, knowledge is power, and we have compiled a collection of methods to help you regain control and seek justice. From gathering evidence to building a robust case, we will guide you through each crucial step, ensuring you are well-prepared to navigate the legal system with confidence. Furthermore, we will provide invaluable insights from experts in the field, empowering you to effectively communicate your experience and present a compelling case.
What is narcissistic abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is a form of psychological manipulation and control that is inflicted upon individuals by narcissistic abusers. These individuals have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a constant need for admiration and validation. They exploit and demean their victims, using tactics such as gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional blackmail to maintain power and control.
Understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse is crucial in successfully proving it in a legal setting. By familiarizing yourself with the common traits and behaviors exhibited by narcissistic abusers, you will be better equipped to identify and document the abuse.
Recognizing the signs of narcissistic abuse is the first step towards reclaiming your power. Victims of narcissistic abuse often experience a range of emotions, including confusion, self-doubt, and a diminished sense of self-worth. They may find themselves constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to displease their abuser and facing severe consequences if they do.
It is important to remember that narcissistic abusers are skilled manipulators who excel at hiding their true intentions and projecting a false image. By educating yourself on the red flags and patterns associated with narcissistic abuse, you can begin to unravel the web of manipulation and take steps towards proving the abuse in a legal setting.
The impact of narcissistic abuse on victims cannot be overstated. Survivors often suffer long-lasting emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical consequences. The relentless demeaning, belittling, and gaslighting erode their self-esteem and leave them feeling isolated and trapped. Victims of narcissistic abuse may experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
These effects can be debilitating, making it difficult for survivors to gather the strength to seek legal recourse. However, by understanding the profound impact of narcissistic abuse, survivors can find the motivation to pursue justice and break free from the chains of their abusers.
Legal challenges in proving narcissistic abuse
Proving narcissistic abuse in a legal setting can be challenging due to various factors. The covert nature of narcissistic abuse makes it difficult to provide tangible evidence, as much of the abuse occurs behind closed doors and leaves no physical scars. Additionally, narcissistic abusers are often skilled at manipulating situations and people, making it hard for the victims to accurately convey their experiences and garner support.
These challenges can be disheartening, but with the right strategies and support, it is possible to overcome them and successfully prove narcissistic abuse. Moreover, the mere mention of the term narcissistic abuse in a courtroom can turn the judge and jury against you. So be sure to seek advice on using correct legal language that clearly defines which crimes were committed, i.e. fraud, labor law violations, intentional infliction of emotional distress, battery, etc.
Gathering evidence is a critical step in proving narcissistic abuse. While tangible evidence may be limited, documenting instances of abuse can still be powerful. Keep a detailed journal of incidents, recording dates, times, and descriptions of abusive behaviors. This documentation can serve as a timeline of the abuse and provide credibility to your case. Save any text messages, emails, or voicemails that contain evidence of the abuser’s manipulative tactics.
If possible, gather witness statements from friends, family members, or professionals who have observed the abusive behavior. By compiling a thorough collection of evidence, you strengthen your case and increase your chances of proving narcissistic abuse in a legal setting.
“When I’m dealing with a high-conflict personality in law, I take a very mechanical approach,” high-conflict strategist Samantha Drum told The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast, “I have a burden of proof that I need to show the judge. What evidence do I need to prove to the judge that this person is unreasonable, that they are being ridiculous, and outrageous. What can I give the judge so that they are more likely to rule in my favor.”
Finding support is crucial when dealing with narcissistic abuse and navigating the legal process. Therapy can provide survivors with a safe space to heal and process their experiences. A trained therapist can also offer guidance on coping mechanisms and strategies to manage the emotional toll of the legal proceedings. Support groups specifically tailored for survivors of narcissistic abuse can also be invaluable.
Connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences can provide validation, support, and a sense of community. These support networks can help survivors feel empowered and less alone as they embark on their journey to prove narcissistic abuse.
Working with a lawyer experienced in narcissistic abuse cases is essential in successfully navigating the legal system. Find a lawyer who specializes in family law or domestic abuse cases, as they will have the necessary expertise to handle your case effectively. A knowledgeable lawyer can help you understand your rights, guide you through the legal process, and advise you on the best course of action.
They can also assist in gathering evidence, preparing your case, and representing you in court. By partnering with a lawyer who understands the intricacies of narcissistic abuse, you increase your chances of making a compelling case and achieving justice.
“I always encourage people to have some form of written communication: e-mails, text messages, or special apps to record as much behavior as possible,” Divorce- and child custody attorney Derek Jacques told The Narcissistic Abuse Rehab Podcast. “Whether it’s by way of putting their phone in their pocket and turning on the video mode or audio recording function. Do pick ups and drop offs in public locations. [The court] wants you to have tangible evidence of the things that are happening.”
Presenting your case in court requires careful planning and strategic execution. When presenting your evidence, focus on the patterns and behaviors exhibited by the narcissistic abuser. Paint a vivid picture of the emotional and psychological impact the abuse has had on you. Emphasize the consistent manipulation, gaslighting, and control tactics utilized by the abuser.
Provide specific examples and reference any written or recorded evidence you have gathered. It is important to remain calm and composed throughout the proceedings, as narcissistic abusers may attempt to provoke emotional reactions or discredit your claims. By staying focused and presenting a well-documented case, you increase your chances of successfully proving narcissistic abuse in a legal setting.
Dealing with gaslighting, DARVO, and smear campaigns
Gaslighting, DARVO, and smear campaigns are common tactics used by narcissistic people to discredit their victims and maintain control. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser distorts the victim’s perception of reality, making them question their own sanity and memory. In court, gaslighting usually escalates to the DARVO tactic, which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.
This can make it incredibly challenging for victims to prove narcissistic abuse in a legal setting, as the abuser may attempt to portray themselves as the victim or question the validity of the victim’s claims. Overcoming these obstacles requires strength, resilience, and a solid support system.
A smear campaign is character assassination. It is a deliberate and calculated effort to damage someone’s reputation, often carried out by spreading false information or malicious rumors about them. It is a strategic tactic employed by manipulators to undermine the credibility, integrity, or public perception of the targeted person.
The purpose of a smear campaign is typically to discredit the person by sowing seeds of doubt and distrust among their peers or the public. When successful, smear campaigns have severe consequences, causing emotional distress, social isolation, and reputational harm to the targeted individual.
It is crucial to trust your own experiences and intuition when faced with gaslighting, DARVO, and smear campaigns. Keep a record of incidents, conversations, and interactions to help you stay grounded in your truth. Seek validation from trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide an objective perspective.
Educate yourself on gaslighting and DARVO techniques and tactics, as this knowledge will help you recognize when it is occurring and respond effectively. Remember, you are not alone in this battle. Reach out to support groups as well as legal and mental health professionals to help you navigate the challenges of gaslighting, DARVO, and smear campaigns.
Dealing with a narcissistic abuser’s manipulation can be emotionally draining and exhausting. They may attempt to twist your words, invalidate your emotions, or shift blame onto you. It is essential to establish boundaries and limit contact with the perpetrator of the abuse whenever possible.
Focus on self-care and prioritize your emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and provide a sense of peace and stability. Surround yourself with positive influences and individuals who uplift and support you. By prioritizing self-care and protecting your mental health, you can better navigate the obstacles presented by escalated narcissistic abuse in court.
The importance of self-care during the legal process
Engaging in self-care is crucial during the legal process of proving narcissistic abuse. The legal proceedings can be lengthy, emotionally draining, and stressful. Taking care of yourself and prioritizing your well-being is essential to maintain your strength, resilience, and focus. Here are some self-care practices to incorporate into your routine:
Practice mindfulness, prayer, and meditation. Engaging in mindfulness and meditation exercises can help you calm your mind, reduce stress, and gain clarity. Set aside a few minutes each day to focus on your breath and be present in the moment.
Engage in physical activity. Exercise is not only beneficial for your physical health but also your mental well-being. Engaging in regular physical activity can boost your mood, reduce anxiety, and increase your overall sense of well-being.
Consider therapy or coaching. Therapy and coaching can be valuable tools for survivors of narcissistic abuse. A trained therapist or certified coach can help you navigate the emotional challenges of the legal process, provide guidance, and offer coping strategies. Regular therapy and/or coaching sessions can provide a safe space for you to process your experiences and emotions.
Establish a support network. Surround yourself with individuals who support and uplift you. Connect with support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse to find a sense of community and validation. Sharing your experiences with others who have gone through similar situations can be empowering and healing. Jacques underscores the importance of this step, “Having a support team in place is something I’ve found to be extremely important.”
Practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself throughout the legal process. Recognize that you are strong and resilient for taking steps to seek justice. Treat yourself with compassion and understanding, and celebrate your progress along the way.
Conclusion
Proving narcissistic abuse in a legal setting is challenging, so it’s important that survivors know what they are up against so they can stand their ground with confidence and determination. By understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, recognizing the signs, and gathering evidence, survivors can build a strong case and hold perpetrators of narcissistic abuse accountable.
Working with experienced professionals, such as specialized therapists and lawyers, provides essential support and guidance throughout the process. Recognizing and overcoming manipulation tactics like gaslighting, smear campaigns, and DARVO requires resilience, self-care, and a strong support system. By prioritizing self-care as they seek justice, survivors can reclaim their power and move toward an abuse-free future.
https://www.narcissisticabuserehab.com/steps-to-successfully-prove-narcissistic-abuse-in-a-legal-setting/
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Are nice narcissists dangerous?
There's no such thing as a nice narcissist.
A covert or vulnerable narcissist come across as kindly, concerned, empathetic, and emotional people. They aren't any of these things, deep down, though. They mimic the behaviors of others—if you have one of these people in your life, stand back and just observe them.
You’ll see them switch their personality, their manner of speech, their viewpoint, EVERYTHING, depending on to whom they are around at the time. I don't mean the way people practice social situations, in that they're subdued at a funeral, boisterous at a football game, or flirtatious at a party. I mean, literally EVERYTHING about them changes—right down to their mannerisms, facial expressions, belief systems, ethics, morals…..EVERYTHING.
These “nice” narcissists will use their “niceness” as their most manipulative weapon in their arsenal — there's nothing like getting hit with “friendly fire”.
https://unstables.quora.com/Are-nice-narcissists-dangerous?topAns=1477743711105052
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Unveiling the 'Nice Guy' Narcissist: 9 Red Flags in Your Relationship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frCorxpUnHE
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:sick:
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Top 10 Things to NEVER Do With A Narcissist
When dealing with a narcissist, it’s important to maintain your boundaries and protect your emotional well-being. Here are the top 10 things to never do when interacting with a narcissist:
1. **Don't try to change them**: Narcissists rarely respond to attempts to change their behavior. It's best to focus on how you can protect yourself rather than trying to alter your personality.
2. **Don't take their behavior personally**: Narcissists often use manipulation and criticism to maintain control. Remember, their actions and words are a reflection of them, not you.
3. **Don't argue or try to reason with them**: Narcissists thrive on conflict and may twist your words to maintain control or feed their egos. Instead, disengage from arguments and avoid getting pulled into their games.
4. **Don't share personal information**: Narcissists may use your vulnerabilities against you. Keep your personal life private and share only as much as necessary.
5. **Don't expect empathy or understanding**: Narcissists lack genuine empathy. Don't expect them to understand your perspective or emotions.
6. **Don't rely on them for validation**: Narcissists seek validation for themselves and are unlikely to give you the affirmation you may seek.
7. **Don't internalize their criticism**: Narcissists may criticize or belittle you to maintain a sense of superiority. Recognize this for what it is and don't internalize their negative remarks.
8. **Don't compromise your values**: Narcissists may pressure you to act against your values or beliefs to suit their own needs. Stand firm in your convictions.
9. **Don't give them control**: Keep control over your decisions and boundaries. Narcissists may try to dominate situations to their advantage.
10. **Don't ignore your own needs**: Prioritize your own emotional and mental health. If a relationship with a narcissist is causing harm, consider seeking support or distance from the situation.
Remember, dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, so it's important to take care of yourself and seek support from friends, family, or professionals if needed.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Top-10-Things-to-NEVER-Do-With-A-Narcissist-1
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:roughend:
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Do narcissists always think
that they can do better
than their current supply?
Narcissists don’t pick their supplies in terms of their ability to be better than their previous as you are thinking. They pick their supplies/victims in terms of what their current needs are that that particular supply can provide them at that particular time. It can be money, looks, status, sex……they are looked as an object that is going to make them feel better about themselves.
They fulfill a specific need. When they obtained that need or fulfilled it they seek another supply that can perhaps again fill another need. They get tired easily. This is why they cheat and lie so much. Perhaps one supply is chosen because they want to get married, that won’t last as we know. They will never find lasting happiness in any relationship. They will always be miserable so they want you to be miserable as well.
They do come back to you if you allow them, not because of love, but because they miss what they found in you alluring at the beginning, only to again manipulate you and treat you like s__t. Narcissists don’t have and will never be able to love or be empathetic…… they don’t have that ability.
Never think that they have left you for someone else because you think they are better than you, actually always be thankful, they are not normal. No one will ever be good enough for them, because they don’t even know what a good person is!
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-always-think-that-they-can-do-better-than-their-current-supply?topAns=152407221
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What is it that survivors of narcissistic abuse really want to say?
Dear Narcissist:
You are weak and hated me for I have strength.
You didn’t hate me, you hated yourself.
You projected your hate onto me because I have the capacity to love and to be loved.
You abused me because you wanted to get back at your parent for not loving you. You deserved love, just as I deserved love.
You fool others so they won’t figure you out. Others always figure you out.
You’re full of fury because I can grow while you remain the same.
You leave others first, so you avoid abandonment. At the end of each day, you still feel abandoned.
Their is not a single thing on this planet that would make me want to feel how you feel.
I wouldn’t wish narcissism on a narcissist.
Everything you said about me was a lie. Everything I said about you, was the truth.
I have the ability to heal, while you don’t. This makes me sad for you and sad for all the victims that you will inflict harm upon.
I don’t regret our “relationship’ because it made me the person who will never tolerate someone like you.
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It wasn’t me. All these years I took the blame, the shame, the guilt. It felt wrong every single time, but I accepted it as fact & wore it well. I was the best damn scapegoat ever. I mastered walking on egg shells, deferring to them, catering to them. I could teach classes on apologizing, begging, pleading & chasing. But my gut knew all along & I ignored it (sorry gut) never again.
Then Google led me to Quora. And I found my people. Narcissists are soul sucking black holes. My mom & brother both. Ones gone & I never shed a tear. The others here and I’ve administered no contact.
It wasn’t me. Oh I’m far from a perfect person. But I’m stable, balanced, centered & very real. I have so much light, love, hope, optimism still. Now that I know, not only is ok to be me… but it’s preferable to be me over the narcs I thought I’d never measure up to… My mind has been blown but in a good way.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-that-survivors-of-narcissistic-abuse-really-want-to-say
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What is the best self care to take after narcissistic abuse?
Do loads of research. You need to fully understand what happened to you.
Stay away from other prospective relationships. You MUST heal first.
Recognize their tool box and keep yourself fully alert.
Stay no contact forever unless you share children
Be aware that narcissists get a thrill from your suffering
Get closer to God. I firmly believe none of this would have happened to me had I really had a very close relationship to God.
All this is about immorality.
Start loving yourself like crazy. I know how deep the hurt from a narcissist can reach. It is like you swallowed your own very nuclear bomb.
Recite loads of spiritual warfare prayers.
The spiritual world works differently to our world. Take off any rings or jewellery the narcissist gave you. That may give him/her authority over you.
Fight the trauma bond because your survival completely depends on that.
For the first year, make sure you stay around positive people. Avoid people who are negative.
Read Ron Tello's Blog | http://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=8312.0
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-self-care-to-take-after-narcissistic-abuse
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It’s NOT your fault...
It's not your fault that it took you so long to realise that you were being manipulated and gaslighted;
because you were being manipulated and gaslighted…
Because they were so very good at what they did!
Someone who plays the victim after they’ve continuously manipulated you, disrespected you, spread false accusations and lies about you, and shown no capacity at all for empathy, remorse, accountability, integrity, or the truth;
is NOT someone that you need in your life!
They knew EXACTLY what they were doing.
They KNEW they were hurting you!
They may like to play the role of the victim but they are NOT the victim by any stretch of the imagination.
They chose their behaviours.
They were intentional about what they did.
They showed no regard at all for your emotional well-being, for you, or for your heart.
Them continuing to play the victim and trying to paint you as the villain after they’ve very cleverly done this to you; is nothing more than them trying to continue their manipulation, their control, and their abuse over you.
It doesn’t matter that it took you a little while to figure it out, the point is you eventually did!
And now you know; that the moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, it’s because you do…
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/It-s-NOT-your-fault
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Narcissism begins
at home.
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How will a narcissist act when you call them out on their behaviour?
If you call a narcissist a narcissist, you can expect an unforeseen, aggressive reaction. So it's best not to do it and keep the knowledge to yourself.
Not all narcissists resort to physical aggression, but there are also cases where criminal threats or various types of dangerous objects come into play. The narcissist knows you know even if you haven't told them. Some things are better left unsaid. Narcissist will disappear like a cockroach under a cupboard or refrigerator and the chances of it coming back to you are negligible.
With knowledge you become too difficult a player to get and the narcissist has thousands of potential victims who suspect nothing so why would they waste their time and energy to go back to the conscious victim. The narcissist prefers to deal with someone else who has already bought his mask of perfection.
The narcissist's greatest fear is abandoning them and revealing who they really are to others. Once you know it, it changes your whole view of the situation and all the memories and the whole past you read completely differently. You weren't to blame for anything, you gave the narcissist the best of everything, but over time you grew wiser and the narcissist had to disappear.
When the narcissist knows you know, it's over. You have gone through the worst and survived emotional and psychological abuse and sometimes physical and financial abuse as well. You survived the brainwashing. You will pick yourself up and rebuild from the ruins and ashes that remain.
Every war comes to an end sooner or later. Your relationship with the narcissist was a war you weren’t aware of. It doesn’t matter if it’s a few years war, a world war, a local war or a war for independence, some of them lasted hundreds of years, but eventually every war comes to an end. Your war with the narcissist is over too. It ended the moment you found out who you were dealing with. And that it’s not a relationship based on love, it’s a psychological, emotional, financial or physical war.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/How-will-a-narcissist-act-when-you-call-them-out-on-their-behaviour?topAns=1477743754845552
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Is it just me or is there a sudden obsession with narcissism these days, where did that come from?
It stems from a lot of emotionally harmed individuals who are understandably angry and hurt by ex-husbands/wives/whatevers wanting find a reason for a relationship full of pain. Some are correct, and true narcissism abounds in the former partner. But honestly, sometimes…people don't want to admit they married a garden variety azzhule. Or that it takes two to tango. So they pick a personality disorder with traits that are magnified through the (understandably) tinted lens of their bias and attribute it to the former partner.
While this is understandable, it's got to stop. Words mean things, and even more so with words for medical diagnoses - if you're going to label a person in that way, make sure you're right. Mental illness still has a stigma attached and much like with psychopathy and bipolar, people throw labels around far too carelessly. This causes greater negative impact on treating and identifying people with the disorder because it perpetuates incorrect information and more stigma.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-just-me-or-is-there-a-sudden-obsession-with-narcissism-these-days-where-did-that-come-from
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People project at you, if your aura is calm and safe, they feel there is no danger and they can control you, in the process they reflect and project their own energy towards you. Don’t take things personally.
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"What-About-Me-ism" is Ruining Our Common Sense
A few weeks ago, I saw a reel on Insta. It was this lady talking about how she thought Japanese haircare was the best, and showed how her hair looked using it. I looked in the comments, and it was literally FILLED with people commenting “it actually isn’t good, it made my *different texture* hair look different”
A lot of people were complaining that she didn’t account for their hair types when rating the products but… she was just talking about her hair type? You’d be surprised to see just how pissed most commenters were. If she’s only talking about HER hair type, and you have different hair, maybe just scroll away and look for a video about YOUR hair type instead of getting offended 💀💀💀
Another time, I saw a tiktok of this lady who made pilates clothes. She apparently had made these shorts, which were naturally, short. The lady was replying to a comment on her shorts video that said, “but what if I don’t like wearing shorts :(“. THEN DON’T BUY THE SHORTS???
If you look at the comment sections of pretty much anything, it’s filled with “what about my very specific issue” or “what about my very specific preference”. Like someone asking what to do if they don’t like beans, on a recipe for bean soup.
I feel like everything in our modern society caters to everyone. Because of that, most people have a severe case of main character syndrome. They don’t stop and use their common sense before typing. I have a STRONGGG feeling that our generation’s cognitive skills as a whole are severely underdeveloped.
Not everything is about you, so stop expecting it to be. It’s just really frustrating, and honestly concerning, to see the lack of common sense so many people have.
https://kuorasslanderinghall.quora.com/What-About-Me-ism-is-Ruining-Our-Common-Sense
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What is the purpose
of narcissistic abuse?
Ahhhh. There are many purposes of narcissistic abuse and one primary one is to kill individuality. Narcissists are extremely jealous of people who posses what they lack, such as self-confidence, the Holy Spirit, and who are comfortable in their own skin.
Narcissists are uncomfortable with people who are unafraid to express themselves freely. So the narcissist must attack by misinterpreting their targets character and using word salad to try and induce confusion. The narcissists cannot handle anyone who isn’t afraid to be who they are.
People who remain true to themselves posses individuality and the game of narcissism doesn’t like that. I speak of about this on my YT channel:
https://www.youtube.com/c/NarcissismCognitiveDissonance44
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From a psychological perspective, narcissistic abuse serves as a means for individuals with narcissistic traits to exert control, dominance, and power over their victims. The purpose is often rooted in the narcissist's deep-seated need for admiration, validation, and a constant sense of superiority.
Narcissistic abusers typically employ manipulative tactics, emotional exploitation, and psychological games to undermine their victims. By inflicting emotional pain and creating a dependency on the narcissist, they derive a distorted sense of satisfaction and maintain a false sense of self-importance. This behavior can be fueled by an underlying insecurity and a fear of inadequacy, driving the narcissist to seek external validation at the expense of others.
The cycle of narcissistic abuse often involves idealization, devaluation, and discard phases. In the idealization phase, the narcissist presents a charming and idealized version of themselves, drawing the victim in with flattery and attention. As the relationship progresses, the devaluation phase begins, marked by criticism, manipulation, and emotional neglect. Finally, the discard phase involves the narcissist abandoning or distancing themselves from the victim, only to potentially cycle back to the idealization phase.
Understanding the purpose of narcissistic abuse involves recognizing its complex interplay of psychological factors, including the narcissist's deep-seated insecurities, the need for control, and the distorted ways in which they derive a sense of self-worth through the manipulation of others.
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Narcissistic abuse, is all about the narcissist offloading their internal suffering and torment onto you, the target.
There is no greater pain for the narcissist, than the pain which is self-generated from within.
They are their own worst enemy, in all respects.
No-one will ever hurt the narcissist, as much as the narcissist hurts themselves.
Every, single, day.
Narcissistic abuse, is how the narcissists shields themselves from themselves, and you are the shield.
The narcissist has chosen you, their shield, to protect them from themselves.
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The purpose for the narcissist or the unfortunate soul that “dances” with the devil?
The “purpose” from the narcissistic side:
Control, they want complete control over you. And they will throw everything at you to make sure it happens.
You help them, see their damaged self in a alluring light. They bounce from person to person to keep that never ending honeymoon phase going. BUT if you continue the “worship” after the honeymoon phase, the will definitely keep you around.
In the end, you are nothing but a punching bag to the abuse they dish out. All while they project what they hate about themselves on to you. And if they are good at it, you will felafeling believe them. You become the sponge for all their self hate.
The purpose for the lost soul that fell for the deceit:
First, you think you found your soul mate. You actually felt like you found your person. Until it all starts to unravel and you don’t know who they are, and yourself for that matter.
You walked into hell so they could show you every unhealed trauma and character defect you have. And you will sit and watch as they carefully dissect your very weakness in front of you and lay it piece by piece right in front of your eyes.
You will frantically try to get back, what was. But you most likely don’t understand they painted a picture you wanted to see, that never existed. It was an illusion, that’s all it was.
In the end, it’s conflicting “purposes.”
One wants a relationship with a person they “thought” they knew. And the other wants a relationship of perfection so they don’t show the true person under the mask.
In the end, there is no purpose. It’s a lose lose for both sides. And generally the unaware keeps repeating a never ending cycle of brutal hell.
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To brainwash you by truama bonding. It's the same thing as Stockholm syndrome. It's horrible, disgusting, and almost impossible to live normally… you'll ruminate for years bc no Empathetic individual could even begin to understand nor process the events that happened.
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Control of another because they fear being abandoned. Just like everyone else, people who do this are seeking love, but they are going about it in a very scary way. And they lack the ability to love others. They are trying to get what they don’t know how to give. People copy what they learn. Some grow up and realize it’s not right. Many don’t.
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Narcissistic abuse is any kind of domestic abuse that is carried out by somebody with narcissistic traits - meaning that their narcissistic behaviour will impact the way they behave towards you. This abuse could be physical, financial, emotional, or sexual.
Usually, the goal of the abuser is to manipulate, control and instill a sense of worthlessness in the other person. This can mean that the tactics used are similar to that of coercive control.
To understand narcissistic abuse, it's helpful to understand what a narcissist is and how they think. "A narcissist will often appear confident when underneath they lack self-worth and have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism. They often have an excessive need for attention and want to create a sense of superiority over the other person, and this will affect the tactics that they use to control you.
An important thing to remember with any kind of domestic abuse is that it doesn't always need to come from an intimate partner, though this is the most common. A narcissistic abuser could also be a parent, family member, boss, colleague, or 'friend.
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In a nutshell: To avoid shame.
An overt narcissist has experienced the consistent of grandiosity, of being better than others, and doesn’t want to give it up. They are addicted. They gloat, control, dominate and manipulate to ensure the balance is in their favour.
A covert narcissist has experienced immense toxic shame, and has dissociated from it. They therefore project it onto others to remain safe from it. They snipe, ridicule, manipulate, gaslight and brainwash to ensure they never approach the ‘hot zone,’ i.e. their shame trauma. If they ever approach it, or heaven forbid, fall into it, then they experience unfathomable suffering and a crushing sense of worthlessness, which to them feels worse than death.
In both cases, however, it is an aversion to shame which is the root cause of the abuse.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-purpose-of-narcissistic-abuse
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:oops:
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MEME BLITZ
Clearing the Cache
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+
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Why are people
becoming more narcissistic?
It seems like humanity (empathy) is dying.
Noooooo, humans have been always like that if you think about it . We are born into survival modus so to speak which means = eat, survive , reproduce .
Most children are exactly like that , as soon as they don’t get what they want , food , mother , attention they will cry as loud and as long as it’s necessary until they get what they crave .
Sounds to you ( or anybody ) narcissistic and totally egocentric ?
Thats what I thought …
Sooooo, during our childhood, our caregivers ( parents , grandparents, church and society in general ) are responsible to teach us to become : caring, respectful , empathetic and all this yada yada so we become functioning members of the society.
Hard to believe ahh ?
Just spend 1/2 hour in a 1–2 year olds playground to understand our human nature … for that same reason it is by law required that adults supervise them otherwise they could end up killing each other , let me tell you, children are brutal .
Now… egocentric and way too narcissistic people have been around us all the time , the only difference is … social media and the me too movement and it appears that all narcissists in this planet have found the “ ideal “ platform to expose themselves .
Thats it … in the past, when people came up with that kind os behavior , society would set them straight again , nowadays if you say something against your “ perception “ you are going to be called out , cancelled and receive life threatening insults so most “ normal “ people just … do nothing .
You want a solution ? Errase your social media accounts now … when these people loose their platform , they will go back to their caves and stay there.
We all want to believe that humans in general are good… wrong !!!! To be honest , most people give a shite about you or your problems , don’t believe me ? Fake an emergency and call all your so called “ friends “ and find out how many of them answer our call … it hurts me to read so many stories of people finding out that in truth , they never had any real friends to begin with .
But life continues and we move on … it has been like this since dawn of civilization .
All the best folks and hope you all have a great day.
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Narcissism is the highest form of evil. Yes, the society is narcissistic. The government is narcissistic. Divide and conquer is a narcissistic tool. Setting people up for failure is another narcissistic tool. Imagine needing money to go to school before you can get a job to make money. That's the system we are living in. Making the masses crumble under the pressure.
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I see it as a problem influenced by three main factors:
1.Persistent generational trauma and frequency of trauma caused by poor parenting
This reminds me of a recent conversation I had with family members about my families history. In a conversation like that, I really was able to contextualize everyone in my family’s behavior. Some people incredibly kind. Some incredibly damaged. A couple that suffer from NPD. And then my brother and I who are still writing our stories. All in all, it made me come to realize how deep the trauma can go. I’ve come to see the statement ‘Hurt people hurt people’ come true in my life, time and time again. And I think that can apply to many families.
For example, you could have a grandmother that was abused relentlessly as a child by her mother. She ends up developing NPD and subsequently emotionally abuses her daughter. To her, she is better than her mother. There is no physical violence. But in reality, that emotional abuse is still abuse. That daughter then goes on to develop NPD herself. It can be a persistent pattern in families, and it doesn’t really get broken until someone breaks the cycle.
Whether that be a parent brave enough to separate from a spouse with NPD and love their children unconditionally. Whether it be someone with NPD going to therapy before having children (not one to count on). These generational cycles don’t seem to break on their own, and the saying above likely continues to run true. Even if the behavior looks ‘better’, it still could cause massive damage to a family. I think there needs to be a pretty radical shift in how children specifically come to deal with their home life, or at least the emotions surrounding it. Breaking the cycle before its too late.
2. The inability of our systems to deal with that trauma and properly diagnose & solve it
This is a pretty blatant case in the United States at least. If you track each person throughout their life, we largely pass through most of the same systems. It starts with school. Then its college, trade school or work. Then depending on how we live our lives, it could be prison. In certain cases, its protective services. Foster homes. Border shelters. Refugee camps.
Then you have more community based things that I wouldn’t really call systems, such as section 8 housing and ghettos. Or even community groups, such as groups for veterans. Each one of these things are very different, but the truth of the matter is, they are relatively uniform. People, like you and me, go through them. And people, like you and me, go through trauma. It is par for the course of being human. Almost everyone deals with something. I think a lot of our systems are largely out of touch with emotional matters. Some are impersonal. Some are outdated. Some are problematic.
For example, looking at an elementary school. Overall, an elementary school is structured for your ‘average’ student. Those with terrible home lifes are largely expected to accomplish the same thing as someone with a great one. A child that mimics behavior at home, could be reprimanded by being sent to the principal. Punished and shamed. All while no one actually knows what the child is experiencing. All in all, at least in America, we do not foster an unconditionally supportive environment. Our systems if anything compound on the trauma, opposed to finding ways to dissect or heal it.
3. A growingly egocentric and narcissistic world
As an American I can talk extensively about this one. America has been a very individualistic country for a while, but that has never been more true. Much of what is popular is focused on the ego. Dating apps are increasingly about validation and to boost ones ego. There is a consistent pressure to market yourself online. For some its authentic but for many its inauthentic.
Its a slippery slope of attention, validation and ego focused feelings. These things are leading us to fall out of touch with authentic things we build towards and living a life of instant gratification. Making money in the stock market. Blowing up on Tik Tok. A growing “hookup culture”. Me. Me. Me. Popular, successful, desirable, rich, famous. The more time goes on, the harder these things become. And the more our self esteem suffers and the more people feel slighted or insecure or worthless.
I don’t think 3 is the cause, as I think the development of NPD and narcissistic traits usually starts in early childhood before these things are too much of a factor. Falling into things grounded in the ego, that measure people on if they are “better” than others, that focus on instant gratification as well as on inauthentic & materialistic things. None of these things help, and the more we lean into this world, the more narcissistic we will become.
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Because being honest and truthful is barely acknowledged. Such people are usually exploited to an extent that they want to shun away their values because it makes them fed up of being nice and still being kicked in the ass. So they become selfish, like the masses. It's easier to be mean and avoid getting hurt, isnt it?
On the contrary, it's good if you are still among the handful in this world who have retained a pure heart despite let downs. The world needs more of such people. so stop fretting upon those who are selfish, and take pride in the fact that you are special because you are not like them :)
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Narcissism is part of a larger trend, Transhumanism.
We don't want to be subject to death, frustration, pain, sadness, anger, loneliness, we want everything bad to disappear and everything good to manifest. We will use technology to achieve this. See how the narcissist wishes to project their negativity into you, and make use of your creativity, positivity, energy.
We want to erase the downsides of being a man, by erasing masculinity.
We want to get rid of the problems of being a woman by vilifying femininity.
We will do away with the biological limitations of this fragile human form, change it's gender, and in the future, use the DNA of other organisms, machine parts, nanobots to perfect it.
This weak and worthless organism will be Perfected.
Our cellphones are the biggest manifestation of this technological narcissism. We look to them to raise our mood, give us information, obtain things. It's no wonder they are the coeval of planetary narcissism, the drive to transcend this life, while in this life.
Try live without your cellphone for a day. You'll have a narcissistic collapse.
As our technological and mechanical power increases exponentially, so does our grandiosity.
With technology does mankind seek to storm the gates of heaven.
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-people-becoming-more-narcissistic-It-seems-like-humanity-empathy-is-dying
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This Is What You Should
Say to a Narcissist -
But They Don't Want To Hear It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcmUcK72Im4
@3n1sunmoon62
1 month ago
The Worst Thing You Can Say To A Narcissist Is "NO"!
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What Happens When You Don't
Care What The Narcissist Thinks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AieoYkjZSJw
@fosterjanine5112
7 months ago
The only person that should be in control of my life is me!
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When You Do This The Narcissist Knows
They Are Losing Control
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iEHxjGLmyY
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The Narcissist Discarded
You But It Makes Them Insane And Miserable!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-JIAcOkgWRU
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252 Posts
1121 Views
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5 Reasons why the CHOSEN ONES are hated the most
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrdef7i60pc
How Do Narcissists React When They Think You're Too Powerful ? I'm sure you will be surprised
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJzXWzj799A
THE BLOCKING GAMES OF THE NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIVElQPtf4M
Emotional rules for empaths in a world of narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03-kSX9vHTo
Demonic Activity - Never Underestimate the Power of Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oNXEBL3zfI
8 Symptoms of Covert Narcissistic NEGLECT And How It Destroys You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daZC98qrZIU
A Narcissist's Love Bombing, Flattery, And Helpfulness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKEjiyDivcc
Spotting Covert Narcissist Mind Games
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qegEONXAPUY
Don't Get Fooled: 8 Signs You're Dealing With An Evil Person
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deOZfJpolCA
Your Greatest Revenge Against The Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFY5yXh63jo
The KEY to understand both narcissism and narcissistic abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozBMIm1NxxI
The Narcissist Can Trick You With This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVz3OH7DNo4
This Is Why You Cannot Trust A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVsSegnfV2I
Why You Can Never Trust a Narcissist | Dr. David Hawkins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fH8ZekSo6Ac&t=67s
3 Things The Narcissist Destroys To Break You And Control You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbZmyqtQDFg
How Narcissists Ultimately Implode
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfjMIPNH3i4
With Narcissists There Cannot Be Only One
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tVjKu1erRs
5 Steps To Stop Ruminating And Evict The Narcissist From Your Head
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8NKpmXQL-s
Why Narcissists Self-Destruct
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF3pGDey_uE&t=278s
Trouble Every Day
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFNkacckLBU
-
Is everything transactional for a narcissist?
I would describe a contract as two or more people entering into an agreement for some type of services rendered. All parties are knowingly and willingly in agreement with the contract. In the narcissist point of view, they don't have to be in any type of agreement with anyone or anything or go out of their way when in a relationship.
They are going to do whatever they want regardless. They are a spirit of contradiction and live their lives in secrecy. They make all the rules and regulations and don't follow any of them. They don't have to render any type of service and they always have a personal gain.They are solemnly interested in collecting, on all benefits without any effort put forth. They use you and abuse you all in the name of love. You always have to prove your love for them, your most loyalty, etc.
But, for the narcissist unless he is able to lie, con and false project himself into entering this false contract, he will find himself alone. It's all an illusion and a delusion. Very sad! Meanwhile he will drag everyone that he comes across thru the mudd for his own selfish, egotistical, grandiose, manipulative, abusive, toxic purpose. All his labors have been negative with no fruits to bare.
You are the only one that bares the burden of the contract, to always love them regardless of their bad behavior towards you. There is no contract for the narcissist, he is alone and will always be!
https://www.quora.com/Is-everything-transactional-for-a-narcissist
-
Why is the narcissist suffering at least internally?
Let me try to explain this so called suffering. Let us first address the actions of the narcissist.
Greed for money
Raging
Hatred
Envy
Criticism
Negative attitude
Frustration
Now when you squeeze a lemon, what comes out of it - lemon juice and likewise since the actions of the narcissist are the above, this is what he has inside him. Now if you have this kind of negative attitude, do you expect this human being to have happiness inside?
No of course not. There is a battle of negativity and shame.
And please this suffering is caused because they made a huge decision in life. A decision to lose their conscience, a decision to cause harm to other human beings.
____________________________________
They have a deep wound in their core. It isn't seen by everyone but actually I think many people can see that inner child in the narc and think it is the person being cute when actually it is dangerous to put up with that shite.
They are so hurt internally that they fail to accept certain truths of life: that no one is flawless, that everybody is an individual with his or her own needs, that there are boundaries in every relationship. They lack an ability to differentiate between their own inner perspective and the perspective of the other person. It is truly sad but I think they really feel that hurt that they project on you.
I give you an example.
My narc flatmate had a long term boyfriend that was very committed to her. She nonetheless had had a friend before she wanted to get into a relationship with. While she still had her boyfriend, she still couldn't let go of that other “friend" and want him as a relationship Partner.
The rejection was as real to her as if it was her partner. When that former friend had a date, which could have been un-bothering to her, she cut her legs. That's why i thought it was Borderline first, but it wasn't. She was completely lacking the ability to see that she didn't own this person . She raged and twisted and turned ignoring the fact that she actually had a committed boyfriend whom she claimed to love. She ignored the fact that this wasn't normal behaviour. All that counted was the hurt, which was perceived as very very real.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-the-narcissist-suffering-at-least-internally?topAns=164031923
-
:lmao:
-
Why would a narcissist ever
admit they’re a narcissist?
NO. I'm willing to bet if you call him/her a narcissist to the person's face. That person will accuse … You … of being the narcissist!!!
My own personal experience … is like this …and … this isn't all of it.
Everyone, except the narcissist, will walk on eggshells every moment of every day to avoid getting into an outburst. Then the narcissist wonders why their family and friends don't come to visit them.
Every birthday party, holiday, or celebration will be ruined, either before you leave or on the way there because it's not about them. They must always be the center of attention.
There is no love with a narcissist. The words "I love you" are empty and have no meaning to them. They just say it to keep you under their control and to give you false hope.
They will always lie to you and deceive you. The truth is not in them. You will never be able to trust them. They will claim that you are the liar.
If you put your attention elsewhere, they can't handle it. So, you'll be screamed at or shamed in some way for paying attention to someone else's happiness. You should have kept your big mouth shut.
They feed off your pain, embarrassment, and tears. You'll never be happy around them. You don't even smile. You'll feel like you don't deserve happiness.
You'll look at them, begging them to understand and show compassion or empathy, but they won't. You can see it in their eyes; they don't care, and it empowers them.
Your thoughts, feelings and opinions don't matter to them, even if they ask for them. Making you feel so dumb or stupid for saying anything at all.
You'll want them out of the house, but you'll also crave their presence when they're gone.
While they're home, you don't want to be near them, but their presence somehow comforts you. You'll hide in your room while they are in another room, hoping they'll see you, but they won't.
You'll constantly wonder if you're good enough each day. Yesterday you were happy because you felt good enough, but today you're sad because you don't. Nothing you do will ever be good enough.
You'll become addicted to something just to escape the pain of feeling worthless and all alone. You'll feel like you can be thrown away at any point. You believe no one sees what is going on and nobody cares. You will even consider suicide.
You won't have access to money unless you hide it around the house. You'll feel like you're slowly burning from the inside out. You'll cry, staring at the wall, trying to figure out why your feelings are wrong. You'll feel like a defeated robot sent to please them.
You'll hide when you hear their car pull up, getting knots in your stomach. You'll be blamed, targeted, lied to, manipulated, and told to get a life when you do.
Their family and friends won't like you; they'll think you're worthless. They'll tell the narcissist to get rid of you because they believe you are a trouble maker. You'll constantly wonder if they'll come home happy or angry.
They will threatened you with death to keep you in line. You become a prisoner in your own home. You will not be able to go anywhere by yourself. They will take your things away from you or destroy them. They will take the children away from you and turn them against you. You will always live in fear, not knowing what is going to happen next.
You'll start to mimic their traits because you're lost inside. You'll beg for them to be removed from your life. You won't get a full night's sleep. You'll be responsible for everyone's emotional well-being in the house, neglecting yourself.
You'll be ignored for days or weeks, as if you're not even there. Then, everything is forgotten and swept under the rug until the next time you upset them. You'll lose sight of your hopes and dreams and doubt every move you make.
You'll never have someone meet you in the middle, no compromising. You do what they want, how they want, when they want. Your needs are neglected and insulted. You'll end up feeling crazy, lost, depleted, confused, and helpless. Love isn't supposed to feel like this, is it? They want you to stay like this, as long as you stay, it will be this way, forever.
You will finally feel like something is very wrong. You will not be able to remember anything you have said or done to deserve the way they treat you. You will get tired of feeling unloved and drained of energy. You will finally figure out they aren't worth all the pain they put you through.
__________________________________
I believe that the “aware” narcissists will, and if they do, best believe, they are proud of it. They will admit it in subtle ways by consciously projecting their own gross, and usually sadistic tendencies onto you. Nothing brings a narcissist more pleasure than to see you upset or confused or in pain, especially over them. That is the ultimate compliment. Your devastation for them is their fuel. The ultimate feast. They trifling asses. They’re predictable and annoying once you identify their “game”. They have very little originality and don’t do well under pressure. Oh yeah, and suffer from the most ridiculous delusions of grandeur. Embarrassing.
_____________________________________
Narcissists will admit nothing. Except being pretty damn perfect.
In fact, Narcs will try to deny, avoid, dismiss, reject, most everything. Including you. Because they really don't care.
You will always be to blame. And accountable for all problems.
Accept this. See Narcs for what they really are.
Petulantly childish spoilt little brats. Who will never grow up.
They lack any real capacity or capability to change.
Clutching at straws, whilst getting shite smeared, is no good place to be.
So leave the Narc in the play pen/cess pit of their own life.
Let someone else have a go at changing Narc diapers, and become the shiny, new toy.
Say “fangs for the memory." Go “once bitten, twice shy.” No play time, no pay time.
Narc game over. Don't keep knocking yourself down. Because hell ain't a good place to be.
Rise above it. You said hello to a devilish imp. Time has now come to wave it goodbye.
https://www.quora.com/Why-would-a-narcissist-ever-admit-they-re-a-narcissist
-
What will happen if you don’t react to the narcissists sick games?
Narcissists play mind games in order to elicit emotional responses from their significant others..
They want their partners to react emotionally, either by talking or doing something. It could be a good or bad kind of attention, but the only bad one for them is when they're ignored.
When narcissists trick their partners and see them upset, it makes the narcissists feel powerful and in control. This feeling is like food for them; it gives them what they need to keep up their fake image.
If partners don't react to the mean games played by narcissists, the narcissists start feeling emotionally hungry. They need those reactions to feel satisfied.
https://www.quora.com/What-will-happen-if-you-don-t-react-to-the-narcissists-sick-games?topAns=1477743732492983
-
Narc Stories: You Won’t Believe It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEtj4PCl1rc
@tulipmichelle
2 years ago
All the Narcs need to be sent to the War going on.
-
Who Can Drive A
Narcissist Crazy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m5BIP68u0g
@Eese.
@racebannon96
1 year ago
If you cause a Narcissist Injury to a Narcissist, you will have a lifetime enemy. They will spend years and probably decades retaliating against you.
@dontbelongherefromanotherp9807
1 year ago
They also hate no contact or being ignored
@calvarado1520
9 months ago (edited)
Never fear the narcissist, expose the narcissist for who they really are and have no sympathy plus have no mercy whatsoever on the narcissist.
-
:panic:
-
:wtf:
-
This is what narcissists go through in silence: they have one regret that they don't talk about
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PC1v697sLZw
@deeanthony7713
1 year ago
Apology from a Narcissist????? What is that??????? I was with a Narcissist, for, almost 16 years and in all that time, I never had the Narcissist apologize even one time, to me, or anyone else, for that matter. Why, you might ask? My Narcissist tells me that they are NEVER wrong...everyone else is wrong.
-
Why Chosen Ones Attract Monitoring Spirits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vG6ndQkwxig
@jamisenjohansen
1 day ago
Thank you for posting this. I think we all need to discuss these "Monitoring Spirits" a lot more. I'm glad to see the shift in society, that wasn't present just a couple decades ago; as the internet allowed us to quickly share ideas across the world, so we don't feel alone, and now we know that others are going through the same challenges.
Even more exciting is the psychic field of information, where we don't even need the internet in order to evolve and grow and understand; as the collective consciousness is becoming more awakened.
It is so wonderful to witness that more and more people talk about spirits and negative entities, without hiding behind their religions out of fear and misunderstandings, thinking that some religious faction member will save them when it never does, or worse, blaming an innocent for being evil just because they were attacked or victimized their entire lives by something that scares the other person; or pretending things don't exist, and calling someone insane, just because something is invisible or it never happened to them. It is comforting to talk about spiritual things without everything being tainted by a religious perspective that often does more harm than good.
I've had negative entities interfere with my path all my life. In spirit form, they can and will do physical damage. But to access a person they need to get through a person's psychic and magnetic field; which is mostly possible if they target someone who has never known love, always been betrayed and abandoned, never had a friend, and who's self worth is very low because they never had protection or support in their lives. The only form of true protection you can have for yourself is self love. And they constantly try to interfere with that.
The moment you try to look at yourself in the mirror, after struggling with self worth and self image, the moment you look yourself in the eyes to see your real beauty, then there's a loud disruptive noise that shatters your foundations. The moment you think about a hug, or a kiss, or finding true love; the same loud disruption happens. The distractions and coincidences and interferences are calculated and orchestrated by beings that do not respect or honor us. They also use people, who have no psychic awareness or shielding, as puppets to make sure interference is always constant.
In my most key moments of vulnerability and growth, where I needed peace and happiness the most; always, every time, they interfere with that precious moment of self reflection and comfort by making someone nearby cough at the most horribly inappropriate moment, or use them to make a loud bang that frightens and disrupts my sense of peace. I have witnessed people become possessed, and watched their postures change, as they would glare over at me from a distance with a grin.
And nothing has ever protected or saved me. I can sense the presence of spirits, but when I call out to them, demanding an explanation for their allowance of these evil entities to interfere with each and every new beginning I am trying to embrace; I get no respect, no answers. I feel surrounded by beings that only mock and laugh and interfere, but not one good spirit exists to prevent this, or to comfort my mind. Not one random good spirit, drifting on by.
The only thing I feel from them is a mixture of hatred and fear. I've never been able to sense anything good. And they have succeeded in isolating me, and preventing any solid foundation from forming so I can launch off of that and build and grow and flourish. All I can try to believe in is karma and justice, but it's difficult only knowing the bad and never the good.
The only bit of advice I can give someone is: Protect yourself with self love and self worth; Try your best to not respond if they're trying to get you to react; And remove yourself from people who are easily manipulated to disrupt your happiness and wellbeing.
I hope that karma and justice come swiftly, because I'm ready for this nightmare to be over.
-
:peace:
-
Don't Mess With
the Chosen Ones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7jxtnej-u4
@creatorzdistrict
1 month ago
Usually when I see the term “Chosen Ones” I skip, was led to click & it’s authentic…..Real ones know this isn’t an easy path but we understand that we’re different from day one. We innately know we’re protected.
-
Instant Regret For WOKE Google Staff!
30 ARRESTED & Instantly FIRED
For Pro-Palestine MELTDOWN
https://rumble.com/v4q959e-instant-regret-for-woke-google-staff-30-arrested-and-instantly-fired-for-pr.html?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=The%20Quartering
RonTello
9:00 reminds me of NURSURY SCHOOL. Do we know where the Parents are?
-
This is what makes narcissists regret throwing you away and making other people want to kill you|NPD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR0-2u_UAw8
@lemontmeade8
20 hours ago
The realization is being in relationship with the narcissist is like being a fly trapped in a spider web. The spider watches the fly suffer and struggle to get free as the spider creeps closer and closer then drain the fly from the inside.
-
When karma comes to narcissists, they are very tormented and will suffer to the point of death |NPD|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=re70hgx6tI8
@arthurcurry7688
1 day ago
Is it not a crime against humanity when another human being treats another human being with cruelty and deliberate deception? Why is it that Narcissists seem to get away with their evil deliberate tactics of deception on their victims and with their "Flying Monkeys"? If 'others' can spot a Narcissist from a mile away, why then aren't these individuals being exposed to the police for the crimes that they commit? (Ex: like Stalking.)
Whatever happened to the saying: "IF YOU SEE SOMETHING - SAY SOMETHING". What of the legal crimes that Narcissists commit? (Ex: like hacking into cellphones and emails, stealing personal belongings, Polygamy, and defamation.) Where is the legal justice here?? Forget Karma!
-
:praise:
-
Malignant Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9XGEG0enww&t=420s
"None of us is responsible for the events that shaped our personality, but we are responsible for what we do about it.
The better you come to know yourself, the more empowered you become to make better decisions."
-
:dance:
-
This is The Narcissist's Hidden Side
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UWQB8HMqfo
@juliechristianson8009
1 year ago
Hidden depression, a new revealing revelation.
@gracelynbatoon
1 year ago
Deep down they know that there is problem with them..but too afraid too confront it.
@rimbakei5492
1 year ago
I think their depression is because they have chosen to be evil in the first place instead of trying to heal their trauma in a correct way.
-
The Narcissist Does This To Avoid Self-Reflection
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3r1B1LAj40
@racebannon96
1 year ago
Narcissists need for drama, chaos, and lying will be exhausting to anyone that is involved with them. Narcissists never get better and are constantly searching for new supply. For your own peace and sanity, leave quietly, and go No Contact. Helping a Narcissist is a waste of time because they incapable of learning and will make the same or similar mistakes over and over again.
@milkywaypride99
1 year ago
Yep
You’re just an object to them. A transaction. A meal ticket. You never meant anything to the narcissist. They’re truly incapable of loving deeply and honestly. You were real, you are divine love and you are NOT crazy. You are worthy.
@shelley7975
1 year ago
Obsessed with people and things. Anything to take the focus off them.
-
Here Are Six Reasons Why Narcissists Are Actually Unhappy And Miserable | NPD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1U1TLUm4yw
@Dansyoung
1 year ago
They expect sympathy because boohoo they had a rough childhood…
Do you look at an arsonist and go - oh poor you, something bad must of happened to you in your life to make you like this. Or do you shame them for their actions because they are an adult and should be held accountable.
My sympathy ran out - don’t feel bad for someone slowly poisoning you, life is too short.
@cyberninjasworld
1 year ago
They are always facing reality vs their fantasy narc world...
@exposed.algeriansatanicnar1565
1 year ago
No one cares. Talk about the broken victims.
-
4.19.24 3:05 PM PST Live Report.
:tello:
"It's about the cesspool called YouTube, the ruins of the Dylan Rounds community.
Bob Farrell. His ticket to hell is paid in full.
This is c & p of his community page today; he's rolling out the Jim Terry wannabe rhetoric,
slamming on people and things in a most immature manner.
This is no way to broadcast in a Polite Society.
He and his remaining audience are possessed with THE DARK.
You be the Trained Observer".
Bob Farrell14 hours ago
LEANNE COME ON, YOU WON'T CALL ME BECAUSE YOU WILL BE A TRADER COME ON , BUT IT'S OK FOR YOU TO CALL JIM TERRY , THE MAN YOU HATE SO MUCH, WHAT THE FloCK IS THIS, DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO. NUMBER 24 RATE FOR YOU LEANNE I KNOW YOU LOVE THESE
Bob Farrell
Bob Farrell14 hours ago
AND YOU OTHER FOOLS OUT THERE, THAT I SAY THINGS, I DON'T SAY, KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT, OH I THINK I HEARD HIM CALL HIM A 'PEDO' NO YOU DIDN'T YOU FOOL I HAVE NEVER CALLED KURT OR TROY THAT STATEMENT NEVER
Bob Farrell
Bob Farrell14 hours ago
#RONTELLO IF I WERE YOU I WOULD CALL UP THAT LIFE LINE COMPANY THAT HAS THE LIEN ON YOUR PROPERTY AND GIVE THEM THE PROPERTY FOR $1.00 YOU WILL NEVER SELL THAT shite HOLE IN A MILLION YEARS, YOU A FOOL ALSO FROM PROUD AMERICA MONTELLO NEVADA GIVE ME THE NAME OF THE ATTORNEY FOR THAT COMPANY, LET ME MAKE THEM A SETTLEMENT OFFER FOR THE LIEN, AND I WILL GIVE YOU $25.00 SO YOU CAN GET SOME PROPANE TO SNIFF. LET ME KNOW YOU HAVE MY NUMBER FOOL
Show less
Bob Farrell
Bob Farrell14 hours ago
I RUN A BAR HE SAYS, BIG FLUCKING DEAL , AND NOW I WAS A SIT IN AT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT WHERE I WORKED FOR 27 YRS WHAT AN IDIOT, HIGH SCHOOL DROP OUT AND DIRT BAG LIKE HIS BROTHER'S AND SISTER'S ONE PROUD FAMILY THEM WADSWORTHS ARE. UPSTANDING CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , MONTELLO NEVADA LAND OF THE DIRT BAGS AND THIEFS AND DRUGGIES PLEASE COME AND DRINK AND EAT AT MY BAR HE SAYS. FACE ME FACE TO FACE, I RATHER SHITE ON THE FRONT STOOP OF THE DOOR THAN WALK IN THAT BAR.
Read more
:tello: "Truely, this may very well
be MY CUE to bust-out slingin'.
TellOvision. TM
There's a pool, 5 to 1 Bob will be un-alived by August.
After that is the BF minion's problem, part 2. Interesting that ppl talk ABOUT me but will not talk WITH me. Cowards. I scare everybody, we know. Prolly a "Chosen One" thang.
https://www.youtube.com/@Bob-Farrell/community
:smee!: Deal with it M8
-
:tello: "And now, a Poem by my friend
Mister Fish".
Running as fast as I can from what I can't see.
Stumbling over and trying to avoid hitting the trees.
One eye looking over my shoulder, frantically.
Falling down hurting and scuffing my knee.
I better watch out.
I don't know what's about.
Wondering if this is only a dream.
Nightmarish feeling and wanting to scream.
Now tripping and rolling down a grassy like hill.
Till I hit the bottom, reeling from such a terrible spill.
But when I look up.
Quickly and abrupt.
No one around that I can possibly see.
I know I was being chased, so how could this be.
Then suddenly I'm sitting up in my bed.
Was that all just really inside of my head.
But I've been there before.
This I know for sure.
Is it me running from myself.
It's a question of mental health.
By Gregory Fish
-
Chosen Ones, You were Born into a FICTION IDENTITY
Don't Defend It
Dive deep into the heart of identity and authenticity with Obsidian's latest atmospheric exploration. In a world that often demands conformity, discover the courage it takes to shed the layers of societal expectation and embrace the raw, vibrant core of your true self. From the masks we wear to the profound journey toward living authentically, this video is a call to those seeking to untangle their essence from the web of imposed identities.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4DxjNYtZ0I
-
Sketchy people I swear
645 views Premiered Jun 26, 2023
Let’s do this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUT-W1_VBJ0
-
The Difficult Truth
Chosen Ones Must Face
@MonochromaticBlues
1 day ago (edited)
You can save others by starting with yourself…learn to protect yourself…gain the right discernment for righteous vs false prophets. Once there is a will there is a way. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. All it takes is the will of a mustard seed within your soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PpKkZnrUe8
-
Your Inner Magic: Activate Your Hidden Energy
(Energy as Magic)
This video invites you on an enlightening exploration into the essence of your own power, your inner magic. Today, we strip away the mystery surrounding this profound concept to reveal how it is a tangible, pulsing force within you, capable of transforming both your life and the wider world.
With insights from ancient wisdom aligned with modern science, we delve into the real magic of energy work. Discover how to access, cultivate, and utilize this incredible energy to reshape your reality and unlock your true potential. Stay tuned to unearth how to turn the unseen into the seen and the impossible into the possible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_ReGsz0RDg
-
How To Get Rid Of Negative
Thoughts Using Stoicism
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions or lost in the turbulence of negative thoughts? Discover how the ancient wisdom of Stoicism can be your guiding light through dark times. Join us on a transformative journey as we explore seven profound lessons from Stoicism that go beyond theory to become a way of life.
With a heart full of courage and a mind unwavering in its resolve, these lessons will empower you to take control of your emotions and navigate life's storms. Amidst the chaos of life, welcome to "How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts Using Stoicism," your guide to finding inner peace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq44ZTXYhM8
-
:judge:
What is the best way to
expose a narcissist in a
family court to show their
true colors?
The best way to expose a narcissist is to not react to them as they put on their court show. When its your turn to talk, make sure you have PHYSICAL evidence of what they have done. Remain calm at all times. Do not even look at the narcissist. Keep your face stone cold with no emotions. This will cause the narcissist to lose their mind.
________________________________
You can present facts and that is it. If you try too hard you will be made to look like you're the narc. Narc are very good at manipulating situations in their favor. Remember your daddy narc knows all your secrets
________________________________
Think DARVO.
D = Deny
A = Attack
R = Reverse
V = Victim and
O = Offender
People who are trying to cover up their bad actions all use this process. In court, in domestic abuse. Think if a child abuser who's defence is this 3 year old was coming on to me, flashing her pants, giving me the eye. It's her fault she made me do it.
You can only control your behaviour. Go in with solid clear facts. One sheet of paper for a financial issue. Get it in judges hand as soon as you go in.
Be quiet and give him the stage. Let him cry rant lie make false accusations. Look at the judge. Bring a notepad and draw pictures. Don t look at him. Act like he don't exist. Be calm. The more the little fella gets no reaction from you the worse their behaviour will become as they are very weak people and without someone to feed off they get crazy and scared real quick. Their behaviour gets nutty real quick. Sit back.
Be respectful polite and factual with the judge.
Any questions to you from judge refer back to your one page if proof.
Accept they are there to divert attention away from their actions so will make accusations. Cry. Play the victim. Respond to none of it. Poker face. No reaction.
They have no energy themselves and feed of your fear. Without it they collapse.
Leave them to judge. Stick to facts. No emotion.
They will be so happy they got the stage and the judge's attention.
I represent myself the last few years as it's become easy. Almost a day out to see a funny show. Remember: You're the audience of a 3 year old tantrum. Shut up. Don't defend yourself. Let him go to town. They are so out of touch with reality that they will show arrogance. Disrespect to you and the judge. If you're lucky, they will start crying, demanding, being nasty to you and glaring at you and the judge.
If you do all this and master your fear the judge usually turns around and tells them to grow up.
Then judge turned to me and asked how I would like him to pay.
They are sad little people really. There is nothing there.
Believe me when I say it took me a long time to reach this point. If you have survived living with a true narcissist you are a super strong person. If you have escaped them you're a Superhero. Remember that. You're the winner. They are babies.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-way-to-expose-a-narcissist-in-a-family-court-to-show-their-true-colors?topAns=190808101
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:nhj: :judge: :tanty:
How do I beat a narcissist
in court?
100% use the element of surprise.
Here’s the most important rules prior to your court date:
Always feign IGNORANCE. You know nothing, have nothing, and suspect nothing to them.
Appear weak. This will encourage their arrogance and aggression. This will work to your advantage. They will show their hand and you can use it to show malice aforethought to the judge. Master the art of knowing when to show patience and when to show strength.
Tip them off with bad information and become irrationally upset as if you’ve been found out. They will run with what they believe to be your intel and you’ll nail them when you get to court with your real information.
Document EVERYTHING and make multiple copies. Tell several unrelated parties about the situation.
Go to several influential people that could support your plight and become the most inquisitive person and allow them to advise you and guide you. Make NO accusations or negative statements regarding the narc in question, allow the person to probe you and uncover your problem. It will automatically garner their support as people develop a vested interest in those we’ve helped solve a problem.
Make several reasonable documented attempts to resolve the issue with the narcissist and allow them to reject and/or stonewall you. This will serve as evidence of your good faith attempts to resolve the conflict.
Lose the battles to win the war. This is similar to the biblical concept of turn the other cheek. If they steal from you, give them something else they didn’t ask for. If they’ve lied on you, say nothing but kind words about them to others. Keep yourself above reproach.
Ask the judge for ONLY what would make you whole and empathize with the narcissists sob stories to the judge asking the judge to make concessions for them. Much like a zebra doesn’t change its stripes, so too does a narcissist. They will grow arrogant at your humility and graciousness. The judge will see their antagonistic attitude towards you and will deal accordingly.
Use QUESTIONS, not statements. Narcissists know how to deflect very well. By asking questions in a roundabout way, you’ll trap them in their own shitstorm indirectly. They won’t be prepared for this.
Ask for the things you DON’T actually want. This lowers their vigilance in fighting you on what you’re actually seeking and makes them ripe for ambush on your day in court when you quickly drop the issues you had no desire to even obtain that they fully prepared to fight you on. It will make them appear malicious which is what they are.
Remain CALM. No matter what, don’t show ANY emotion. Only show compassion and dignity. Kill them with kindness no matter what they say to you.
When faced with accusations/slander/lies/ never confirm nor deny. Ambiguity is your best friend. Answer questions with a question or a yes or no only.
Don’t go anywhere alone. Keep yourself in very visible dynamics with multiple people who are NOT aware of what you’re going through. These will be the best impartial eyewitnesses to defend you from any false allegations and accusations.
Best of luck, and remain positive. You’ll make it out ok. :)
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-beat-a-narcissist-in-court-5?no_redirect=1
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Why are Americans so averse
to socialism?
Do you mean other than no one can point to a socialist system in history that has worked for people but only for those in charge?
The equation of socialism is so simple you’re left with people being so stupid and leaders so corrupt it’s an extremely poor commentary of humanity that it keeps falling for this rickety, house of cards system.
The most basic common denominator of a society is the individual. Individuals are intelligent and able, or they’re dumb and unable; degrees thereof.
Individuals make the next higher common denominator; the family unit.
Overwhelmingly, family members make the broader echelon: groups.
All groups make up the society.
To the degree individuals are smart and able, this will be a working, long-lasting society, and to the degree you have the opposite, it will be dysfunctional and won’t last long.
Socialism posits the group and society above the individual at the expense of the individual. The individual is a cog in the wheel. In practice, this lowers the individual to make them less intelligent, less able, less creative, less causative, etc., thus the family, group, and society.
If you concentrate on making the individual more important and not just a cog in the wheel, this automatically creates improved families, groups, and society, and not at the expense of society.
If individual rights don’t take sensible precedence, as is spelled out in the US Constitution, you end up with what has taken place throughout history, a dysfunctional society for people where the leaders are the only important individuals.
************************
“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.”
--John Steinbeck
Seems to summarize things rather nicely.
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What are some key phrases
to use when gray rocking
a narcissist?
Gray rock is powerful, and helped me survive a dangerously abusive marriage.
“OK” was the answer I used most often, no matter what lie XGIC concocted. It’s a universal shrug of indifference. Going up north for a long weekend with an equally married, closeted gay ‘friend’? “OK”
Just respond as minimally as possible. Don’t engage, and don’t show emotion. Use the softest, dullest, most monotonous voice possible. This extends to EVERYTHING, including disagreements. Be null, dull, and answer in monosyllables when possible. Show maximum indifference.
You’ll get complaints. Say, “OK”. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are also good answers.
By using Gray Rock, you’ll deprive the abuser of narcissistic supply, and they’ll get worse as they whore for attention. Give the most minimal attention possible. Replace eye contact with minimal glances. Don’t engage in any unnecessary chatter, that’s just boundary testing.
Stick with it. It works.
The bonus is that gray rock will help you achieve a healthy emotional distance from them and their insanity. It take time, practice, and patience. The first time I rocked the gray, he was raging, and I thought my heart would beat out my chest.
Later, I’d look at his red faced raging self, and feel nothing but contempt. Gray Rock provides invaluable objectivity.
Rock the Gray always, all ways.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-key-phrases-to-use-when-gray-rocking-a-narcissist
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How did you destroy your narcissist?
You don't have to waste time destroying narcissists. Focus on healing after leaving narcissists. You have to live a peaceful, happy life.
Narcissists live an empty, miserable life; they want to destroy you because they can't be you. Narcissists till they live will keep looking for narcissistic supply, but you will leave a peaceful, happy life.
What you have, like empathy, remorse, feelings, understanding, trust, and loyalty, will always be there with you. Narcissists don't have any of these qualities, which is punishment for them. Till their last breath, they are going to live a horrible life, looking for people to make them feel good. In the end, the narcissist will be left alone; karma is inevitable.
Let karma take care of narcissists.
https://narsholethelonelygrifter.quora.com/How-did-you-destroy-your-narcissist?topAns=1477743722787671
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Has my ex-narc said awful things about me to his new supply?
This is standard practice. Anyone who falls foul of a narcissist is always depicted as being nuts. This applies to so called toxic siblings, bosses, jealous friends or bitter and twisted ex partners who the narcissist allegedly bent over backwards to please only for their generosity to be thrown back in theitr face. And if you believe that you will believe anything!
But they get off on playing the victim and do what they can to win a newcomers sympathy vote which in the early days normally comes up trumps. Generally speaking they are serial liars at the best of times so to be slagged off with tales of fiction is nothing new. You have just joined their long list of ex partners being painted in a less than flattering light, one step in front of their latest who will no doubt go the same way. With a couple of months under her belt she’ll soon be asking herself if things really add up.
Suggest read chapter ‘Recovering from a narcissist’ in book entitled:
‘Prepare to be tortured. The price you will pay for dating a narcissist’.
Available amazon books and audio.
https://narsholethelonelygrifter.quora.com/Has-my-ex-narc-said-awful-things-about-me-to-his-new-supply
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10/11/2016 6:06AM
Luka Luciano
Ron; fyi sherry has been talking shite about you saying your a freeloader living off her lazy bum drunk...she is spending night with kevin in vta says she made you sleep in her rv not in a relation ship any more planning to give you the boot. a conspiracy pretty low that is why i am writing hate cheaters liars backstabbers lame ass way to do things she made herself out as a victim not cool...
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Should you ever take a narcissist back?
Absolutely not.
Things will change from bad to worse in no time. When you patch up with a narcissist, they will make you feel special for some time, then they will go back to their abusive behavior.
Narcissists know they have treated you badly in relationships. When you patch up with narcissists, they start believing they haven't done anything wrong in a relationship; that's the reason they got another chance.
Narcissists will firmly believe you need them more than they need you, so narcissists will start looking down on you. Narcissists will start abusing you more than before. Get ready to see the worst phase of your life. Narcissists will vent out their anger and frustration because you left them or didn't let them into your life easily.
Giving another chance to narcissists is very dangerous. Narcissists will let the whole world know they have done nothing wrong in relationships; that's why you patched up with them. Narcissists will take advantage of taking people on their side; they will abuse you more.
Never patch up with narcissists.
https://hiddenthedarktruthaboutcovertnarcissism.quora.com/Should-you-ever-take-a-narcissist-back?topAns=1477743746241811
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:tazdev:
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How can people make a narcissist feel guilty about their wrongdoings?
You can't make narcissists feel guilty. Narcissists don't think they have done anything wrong in a relationship. Narcissists have all sorts of reasons to blame you to avoid accountability and responsibility.
If you point out the mistakes of narcissists, then they blame you for provoking them. If you catch them doing something wrong, they will blame circumstances, you, or other people. Narcissists will always have someone to blame.
If narcissists had the capacity to feel guilty, then they would have changed their behavior; you wouldn't have called them narcissistic.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/How-can-people-make-a-narcissist-feel-guilty-about-their-wrongdoings?topAns=1477743755440700
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What happens when you expose
a narcissist to the whole world
and expose their fake image?
Narcissists will try their best to defend themselves. Narcissists will blame you or circumstances; they are never going to admit they have done anything wrong. Narcissists will create false stories to cover up their wrongdoing. Narcissists will also take the help of flying monkeys to be on the safer side.
Narcissists experience shame after being exposed. For narcissists, it's very hard to cope with shame. Some narcissists may shed tears to show they are the victim; everything is planned against them.
Some narcissists can be very vindictive. Make sure who you expose. Narcissists will teach you a lesson for exposing them. Narcissists can keep grudges forever. There are some narcissists who will vanish after being exposed.
Don't waste your time exposing narcissists; you never know what type of narcissists you are dealing with. Focus on moving on and healing after leaving narcissists.
Every narcissist will react in different way.
_______________________________________
LMAO. If you are dealing with a narcissist, you will regret it. People don't believe you. They don't understand. They don't care. They don't like feeling stupid, so will not change their minds. And your own efforts will backfire on you in a bad way. They will ruin your life. You have no idea how dark and vindictive and sneaky they are.
__________________________________________
It won't make any difference, apart from terrible stuff like their rage and revenge. They’ll make sure you leave the job with false accusations and you’ll be literally crying with despair at the way it all ends up on you. This will make you look unhinged, because you will be.
There's a video of someone who rings someone's doorbell and when they open the door and see an open tin of paint being chucked at them, immediately they slam the door shut. The paint hits the door and lands all over the chucker.
Nobody cares, nobody’s interested. The narc's specialty is deflecting anything chucked at them. Narcissism IS the shield.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-expose-a-narcissist-to-the-whole-world-and-expose-their-fake-image?topAns=1477743754515709
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Do narcissists like to ignore messages
from their partners?
Absolutely yes. A narcissist ignores messages to gain power, control, and authority over you. Narcissists ignore messages to put themselves in control and make the person on the other end feel that they are wrong.
Narcissists tend to ignore messages that help them avoid compromising with others. Narcissists ignore messages to look very busy. This is the best way for narcissists to look more valuable and in demand.
Narcissists ignore messages to make you chase them; this gives narcissistic supply to narcissists.
Narcissists ignore messages to show they have other options. If you don't behave as they want, then they can give you the same treatment in the future.
Narcissists know what messages you have sent; they just don't open them.
https://narcissistlies.quora.com/Do-narcissists-like-to-ignore-messages-from-their-partners?topAns=1477743751538956
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:wtf:
-
The Difficult Truth Chosen Ones
Must Face
Dive deep into the transformative journey of personal evolution and the pursuit of 5D consciousness with Obsidian. In this immersive video, we explore the profound realization that despite our deepest desires, we cannot change others, especially those we hold dear. Embrace the art of letting go and the power of focusing on one's own spiritual path.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PpKkZnrUe8
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Scripture, Science and UFOs
In part two of this series, Pastor Jack discusses the link between recent reports of unidentified aerial phenomena and advances in artificial intelligence, connecting them to Biblical prophecies of deception in the last days. Jesus' teachings warn us of the need to stay grounded in scripture to guard against intensifying deceptions as His return nears.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoTFH_C9jQw
@Roger-PIA56
7 months ago
There needs to be a huge push for the kind of preaching and teaching that Pastor Jack does. We only came across him a few months ago and have a renewed faith and world view, from all his teaching. A tell-it-like-it is, Bible based truth, common sense preaching. He's bold, he speaks the truth and we all know it. We can all feel that in our soul. Very few, I mean very, very few pastors have the boldness and courage in today's "woke" society to speak Biblical truth. May God continue to bless Pastor Jack Hibbs, his ministry, his family, his health and his mission.
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Can you take a stand
against a narcissist?
YES.
You take a stand by leaving them tf alone.
Narcissists don’t need much to feel that you're a felafeling clown.
All they need is for you to remain in their life.
No matter which way.
This could be seeing them once a month just to sit quietly next to them.
Narcissists don't understand anything but for your absence.
Absence is their language.
Nothing else.
No words nor actions will be understood.
Speak absence.
Leave the damn narcissist.
https://narsholethelonelygrifter.quora.com/Can-you-take-a-stand-against-a-narcissist?topAns=1477743704695900
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THE UNHOLY BRIDE OF SATAN
Stay Away From Women Like This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdWUbRu4DIY
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When a Narcissist Will Seek
Revenge - These Are Warning Signs
You Can't Ignore
A budding narcissist may appear charming at first, but excessive indulgence and idolization from parents or others can shape them into adults who perceive themselves as infallible. They dedicate years to manipulating others to conform to their idealized world, yet with time, they drift further from reality until they vanish like figures in a painting. Such is the essence of a narcissist's life.
Now, navigating frustration with a narcissist is an entirely different ordeal. Any slight inconvenience feels like a personal affront to them, and experiencing frustration in public is akin to public humiliation.
Their concept of frustration is peculiar as well—it encompasses not just disagreement, but also the mere act of asserting boundaries or refusing to comply with their wishes. Independence or differing opinions are interpreted as deliberate acts of harm, viewed as personal assaults aimed at tormenting them. It's a perplexing mindset, isn't it?
When confronted with frustration, narcissists experience a profound blow to their ego, instigating unease and triggering heightened stress and anxiety. This internal turmoil erodes their usual defenses and emotional equilibrium, often leading to a transformation resembling borderline behavior.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2_iRF3lm6o
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In the Mind of Narcissistic Mothers: Unveiling the Hidden Dangers
Narcissistic mothers exhibit a pattern of behavior characterized by extreme self-centeredness and a lack of empathy for their children's emotional needs. These individuals often prioritize their own desires, image, and success over the well-being of their offspring. They may use manipulation, emotional abuse, and guilt-tripping to control their children and maintain a sense of superiority. Narcissistic mothers can be highly critical, demanding perfection from their children while rarely offering praise or support. This upbringing can lead to emotional trauma, low self-esteem, and an enduring sense of inadequacy in their children. Breaking free from the influence of a narcissistic mother can be a challenging and complex journey, often requiring therapy and self-discovery to heal and establish healthy boundaries.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VvjUxzByoA
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Chosen Ones, 7 Secrets of Your Unique Life
In this video, we're peeling back the layers of what makes you, well, you. Forget the idea that greatness is reserved for the few; we're here to show you that your life is brimming with unique significance. From the untapped reservoirs of inner strength to the subtle, yet profound, power of your choices, we'll explore the seven keys to unlocking your full potential. Each secret is a stepping stone to discovering how chosen you truly are. Ready to see yourself in a new light? Let's get started.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUjaIf-FYTA
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CHOSEN: THEY WILL LOSE
YOU WILL WIN! You Defeated
High-Rank Witches of the Underworld
Dive deep into the law of vibration to explore how your emotional and energy levels can drastically alter your world view and life experiences. Learn to harmonize your personal energy to attract positivity and fulfillment. By viewing your thoughts as seeds in your mind's garden, discover how cultivating positivity can sprout beneficial life outcomes. Join our channel and connect with a community eager to embrace these insights and simple strategies to elevate personal energy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UmKL4OwS8I
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WHY YOUR SILENCE
ALWAYS WINS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcrxiCbWmjA
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8 Things That the Narcissist Hate the Most
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHrWQJzFFnk
@huruduru5144
2 weeks ago
These people have traded their soul for Narcissism and are now dead inside..And what they hate about you is that you have a healthy soul and they are very jealous of that and they very much WANT IT! This is why they get angry when you fight them on their Narcissism because THEY WANT A SOUL!
Every Time they get supply from you they take a piece of your soul and it feels soooooo good to them They want to take your soul and give you theirs..A soul exchange,. their dead soul for your healthy soul. Every time they get supply from you, there is an exchange, they feel good and you feel bad. This is why after a while you start feeling dead inside yourself.. This is why victims says they are evil. Because they feel this..
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10 ways to silence
the narcissist
In a world where narcissistic behavior seems increasingly prevalent, finding peace and maintaining your own power can feel like a constant battle. Our latest video delves deep into the psychology of narcissism and offers transformative strategies for those seeking to navigate these challenging dynamics effectively. We explore how understanding and resilience, combined with specific, nuanced tactics, can create a shield around your emotional well-being, allowing you to reclaim your voice and your life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQvh5miaSA4
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The Perfect Words To Say
to Defeat a Narcissist
Once and for All
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0BoZeU9ILM
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You Should Not Trust Or
Respect These 9 People | Stoicism
In this video, we delve into the core principles of Stoicism while cautioning against nine types of individuals who may undermine its ethos. Drawing from ancient wisdom and contemporary insights, we explore how Stoic philosophy teaches us to cultivate resilience, virtue, and wisdom in the face of life's challenges.
From toxic influencers to manipulative acquaintances, we uncover traits that deviate from Stoic ideals and jeopardize our mental well-being. Join us on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment as we navigate the Stoic path and learn to discern who truly deserves our trust and respect.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8Pnbjt8ec4
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Chosen One: 5 Things You SHOULD NEVER Reveal To Anyone EVER!
Many are called. Few are chosen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92TZlJV0SfA
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How does a narc park?
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Why Narcissists Help People…
4 Rotten Reason They Do It!
Narcissists may help people for various reasons, but their motivations are often self-serving and can be detrimental to those they claim to help. Here are four common reasons why narcissists might engage in helping behaviors:
1. **Manipulation and Control:** Narcissists may use acts of kindness or assistance as a way to manipulate and control others. By helping someone, they create a sense of indebtedness or obligation, which they can later leverage for their benefit.
2. **Seeking Validation and Admiration:** Narcissists crave admiration and validation from others. Helping people allows them to be seen as generous or compassionate, bolstering their self-image and feeding their need for admiration.
3. **Maintaining a Positive Image:** Narcissists are often concerned with how others perceive them. Helping behaviors can be a way for them to maintain a positive public image or to portray themselves as caring and benevolent individuals, regardless of their true intentions.
4. **Securing Narcissistic Supply:** Narcissists feed off attention, praise, and adoration, known as narcissistic supply. Helping others can be a way for them to garner admiration and attention, ensuring a steady supply of validation to boost their ego.
It's important to recognize that while narcissists may appear helpful on the surface, their motivations are typically self-serving and can lead to manipulation, exploitation, and harm to those they claim to be assisting. It's crucial for individuals to be mindful of the intentions behind someone's actions and to set boundaries to protect themselves from potential exploitation. If you suspect you're dealing with a narcissist, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in navigating these complex dynamics.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-Narcissists-Help-People-4-Rotten-Reason-They-Do-It-1
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:crazy:
-
HOW THE NARCISSIST WATCHED..WAITED..AND PLANNED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5LIovf5-rk
@Divinely_Guided444
1 hour ago
Nailed it with going from the frying pan into the fire. How can a person just hate to see someone flourish or be their best self?? They want to take everything from you, and more than anything, steal your light. I just can't relate to that.
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3 Crimes a Narcissist Commits out of their Jealousy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU2HBbSNyUM
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:foot:
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5 Things a Strong Woman Should Never Do for a Man
As a strong and independent woman, it's essential to remember that your worth and identity shouldn't be defined by someone else's approval or attention. Here are 5 things you should never do for a man:
1. Change yourself to impress him. Be true to who you are, and don't compromise your personality or values to suit someone else's preferences.
2. Seek his approval for every decision. Trust your instincts and make your own choices – you're capable and intelligent enough to do so.
3. Alter your physical appearance to meet his standards. Your body is yours, and any changes should be for your own confidence and self-love, not to impress someone else.
4. Reschedule your plans constantly to accommodate him. Prioritize your own life, friends, and family – a healthy relationship should respect your time and boundaries.
5. Sacrifice your dreams and goals for him. Your passions and ambitions are yours to pursue, and no one should dictate what's right or wrong for your future.
Remember, a strong woman knows her worth and doesn't compromise her individuality for anyone.
Jay Pseudonym
#6- Learn to enjoy living, sleeping, and spending your old age alone. Relationships are built on compromise.
Junior Wattley
Relationships must be flexible on both sides.
My grandma said to me once . “Whenever you think you are too sharp, that’s when you will cut yourself.”
Compromise ,Communication ,Commitments are the 3 C rules for every successful couple.
No one is perfect.
https://psychologicalbehaviour.quora.com/5-Things-a-Strong-Woman-Should-Never-Do-for-a-Man
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Why would someone go back
to a narcissist once they know
what they're capable of doing?
We kept going back because we were willfully stupid and convinced ourselves that underneath all the bullsh*t, they actually loved us.
The truth is,
THEY DON'T and NEVER DID!
The only things they actually LOVE are getting drunk or doing drugs, flirting with their exes AND anyone else that moves, gambling, going to bars, having sex with strangers and getting attention from anyone BUT YOU.
Ego check! The sad fact is: given a choice between talking to someone who loves them (YOU) and talking to anyone else, they will choose to ignore your calls if anyone who will give them attention is on the other line.
BENEATH EVERYONE ELSE!!! This is because they don't respect you. They believe you are so dumb, you will always accept any pathetic excuse they give you.
They think you're too stupid to realize how much they cherish the idea that an ex who dumped their sorry ass will give them attention. But it's not just exes.
These dumb f*cks will ignore you for casual acquaintances, co-workers, waitresses at Hooters, cashiers at the gas station and bartenders.
They'll mute you or put you on hold while they blow up the phones of parents of their child's friends while trying to get attention by oversharing things anyone with two brain cells wouldn't talk about to casual acquaintances.
Their lack of COMMON SENSE lets their egos convince them that everyone loves them and enjoys their drunken rambling.
All of those things should make your gut scream at you that those behaviours are unacceptable. They are showing you the truth about what they are.
THEY ARE SHOWING YOU TOTAL DISRESPECT
THEY ARE SHOWING YOU HOW A$$HOLES BEHAVE
THEY ARE SHOWING YOU HOW THEY TREAT THOSE WHO LOVE THEM
THEY ARE SHOWING YOU THAT THEIR CLAIMS OF LOVING YOU ARE LIES
THEY ARE SHOWING YOU HOW LITTLE YOU MEAN TO THEM
My wish is that those who have seen what these f*cks really are, will never be willing to put up with their games again.
YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO IS THERE IN THE PRESENT WITH “YOU and ONLY YOU” NOT ANY RANDO WHOSE PHONE NUMBER HAPPENS TO BE IN THEIR CONTACTS.
Be firm. Go no contact, Delete their photographs and forget their name. DO NOT EVER GO BACK. If you do, you're giving them permission to do it all again.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/Why-would-someone-go-back-to-a-narcissist-once-they-know-what-theyre-capable-of-doing?topAns=1477743755474640
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Do narcissists mentally abuse those they supposedly
love the most?
The reason why they are able to do this is because they have no empathy. A person who has no empathy is able to be cruel without having an effect on them or moving them emotionally. They lack the ability to understand and share your feelings. They lack the ability to share your experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in your situation. So they are able to cause pain and suffering to you without fear or any concern about it.
The narcissist can be so cruel, not only because they lack empathy, but also because they lack object constancy. They are stuck in the mentality of a child.
If you have been in a long-term relationship with a narcissist, you probably don't remember what it was like to be you. You probably haven't been yourself for a very long time. Your existence undergoes a process of transformation into doing everything that the narcissist needs, so that they don't get angry or upset. But it doesn't matter how much you change, it doesn't matter how much you erase yourself, it doesn't matter if you remove all traces of the person you used to be.
They will still get angry, they will still get upset. Because the truth is it has nothing to do with you. You don't exist to be an emotional regulator for someone who cannot emotionally regulate themselves. Remember the person who used to be. Remember the things you loved to do. Start being you again.
The narcissist might get mad, but they're going to be mad anyway. They're never going to like anything you do, so start being you again.
________________________________
Yes, but its not because they love you the most. They don't know what the feeling of love is. They don't have most in their love vocabulary be cause love does not exist for them. They go into a relationship as a fantasy that this person is the perfect one.
Their delusional expectations soon turn their feelings into a form of punishment. Because now the narcissist feels betrayed that thus person is challenging their manipulation, their words that don't show Action, their projection to blame. It does not matter if they are the most loved , because in the end they will be the most hated. .They can not build a relationship on trust. They can not nourish a relationship to stay healthy.
Love is everything a narcissist isn't. They may learn to love a person, but they will never feel the love to give it an act . To protect, to put then before oneself. They learned to control, to get what they need. They learned manipulation to feed their ego, to give them a sense of power over how one feels to cause fear, generate negative energy. So the narcissist can feel superior, to be the one who is important.
To take what they want and jump at circumstances that are better to advance his self worth. To build his arrogance and stoke his ego. He will mentally abuse anyone who will give him this power. Even those he hates from how they made him feel in the past. He will play them again, tell then what they want to hear , until they get angry. They cannot get their emotional needs met.
Then the narcissist trauma bond takes its affect. A narcissist is not able to love in a healthy way. They show their love by being in your life. They are the reason you exist in the first place. Without them you are not loved, you are someone else's trash. You are their newest game for mind flock. Good luck to escape.
_______________________________________
I would say yes. Who'll put up with that nonsense but someone who loves them. Remember most narcs are immature, not completely stupid. Some narcs know, if they try to behave or talk disrespectful to a stranger or even an associate, the response from them would be unpleasant. Maybe physical.
Therefore, unfortunately, the husband, the wife and the partner deal with the narcs displaced anger. Most of the time the narc is mad at someone else. But come home to you and abuse you. Such cowards, some narcs are. Once again the saying “he's so mad, he's going home and kick his dog” is true. My opinion.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Do-narcissists-mentally-abuse-those-they-supposedly-love-the-most?topAns=324153039
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Why do narcissists want to stay with you if they don't truly love?
You are the old slippers they feel comfiest in.
They have invested a lot of time and effort in getting you trained to be docile and controlled.
They know how to shut you up if you complain, distract you if you accuse them of cheating, and keep you around.
They know you will support them in public, and maintain the facade of the happy family.
They have isolated you, so they know you have nowhere to turn to, and they control the money, so they know how difficult it will be for you to leave- so they can relax and assume you will always be there, cleaning house and washing their clothes- a housekeeper, but one with benefits if they ever feel like it.
You turn a blind eye to the obvious signs of cheating.
Your self esteem is on the floor, so they can use you as a whipping boy if they get angry or frustrated, and you will absorb it- maybe cry, but quietly, out of their earshot.
You make them look normal , and they can hide behind the “I´m in a relationship” card if one of their side supplies becomes demanding.
This is not love- it is all transactional.
And it could all end tomorrow if they find a better option (they will always look).
Please, if you are in this situation, read about narcissism, and confirm what you already suspect- that this is on the way out. Get ahead of it. See how they get to stay and why you should leave.
I like "Is there A Narcissist In Your Life?" by Amanda Clymont, Amazon.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-stay-with-you-if-they-dont-truly-love
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Some things we never think about.....and should.
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How do you beat a narcissist at his or her game?
Give it up. You have to pull out some pretty big guns to beat these salts of the earth. The way to beat them is to get away and forget about them. It's a good thing. Now you know these people exist. Trust me I've been exactly where you are. I was challenged the same way you are. It is not worth your time and effort. I have been there. Everything you say is familiar to me. I'm very very sorry that you got involved with someone like this, but get out completely, because things are at the point now for you where they can only get a lot worse. Do not fall for the hoovering... just GTFO.
______________________________________
Remove yourself and don’t play. The games they play stems from their inherent need for a constant flow of supply. Any supply. Supply is like oxygen for them and they depend on it to regulate themselves. They are at a loss without supply which makes securing supply paramount for their survival and they stop at nothing ...
_______________________________________
Treat him/her like you are being treated. Total focus on you and only you. Totally ignore the other person needs and wants. Be unresectable. CONSIOUS focus on you. But!! Be happy, goofy and create positive thinking within you. Be cool, calm and collected. Slide off his/hers attempt to bring you down, respond in the same way, but do it classy. Give, what you are getting!!
________________________________________
You can't beat narcissists at their own game. You have empathy and remorse; it's going to make you more stressed, frustrated, angry, and anxious by getting involved in narcissistic games.
Narcissists don't have empathy or remorse; they can go way ahead than you can ever imagine. For narcissists, winning is so important that they are willing to lose you as well as their relationships to defeat you. You can't stay ahead of narcissists, as they don't care about any type of relations.
Narcissists love games; they play games all the time. The more you get into their games, the more they feel valuable and important.
You have to avoid or ignore narcissists. The best way to deal with narcissists is not to deal with narcissists. Leave a narcissistic relationship for your health and peace.
Ignoring narcissists is the best way to beat them. No response is a powerful response from your side.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-beat-a-narcissist-at-his-or-her-game?topAns=1477743755511591
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I think that people very often demonize narcissists. Do you actually understand that narcissists are human beings who need love like anyone else?
Ron Culley wrote:
They ARE Demons and not human. Until you get a belly full of a narc, I suggest you reconsider your question. Better to withdraw it altogether.
_____________________________________
I disagree with this opinion voraciously. Nobody could have loved a person more than I loved my exCN. It was HE who did not love ME. The way that I was treated and discarded was nothing short of demonic and evil and he knew exactly what he was doing and did it anyway.
Nobody is perfect and believe me, I did the deep dive, got educated, and went to therapy because he had me believing that there was something wrong with ME. I took him in and cared for him, loved him, and forgave him endlessly for the horrible things he said and did to me. We were together for seven years until I got cancer.
What kind of person (assuming he actually is human) pretends to care about you but is actually engaged in a relationship with someone else and then just discards you like a piece of trash to marry her? What kind of person leaves their girlfriend with six dogs when she is so sick from the chemo she can hardly walk from room to room or even pick up their dishes so he can go see his “fiance” in another state and lie about where he was?
What kind of person lives off of you for years, never contributing or having any gratitude for anything? And not giving a damn or have any conscious about it? What kind of a person lives with you all summer while going through treatment only to sneak off and get married while you are recuperating before the next round of treatment? Just vanish and then ghost you? Not care if you live or die or who is going to help you or take care of you? Then plaster their happy new lives all over social media when your whole world is in turmoil and you will never be right again from cancer and the toxic abusive relationship?
All the psychic and emotional energy you put into the relationship? And all the financial energy?
No narcissists DO NOT love. The paradox is that they NEED love but they will never give it back as their disorder doesn’t allow it. You can’t love a narcissist into normalcy. There isn’t enough love in 1000 universes that will be good enough for a narcissist. If you even suspect you have met a narc...... RUN!
____________________________________
Don’t take this personally, but anyone who asks a question like this either has NPD or is just plain naive.
Understand this, there is much justification in the way someone feels who has been in a relationship with someone who has NPD, while at the same time there is no justification for the reason of the actions of the person with NPD that led to the person feeling this way.
What you are trying to convince others, is at the crux of why we can’t productively work on NPD tendencies. It has nothing to do with whatever love a person believes they can give another. This is where we have fooled ourselves. It is the biggest sham of existence.
The best anyone can do is to acknowledge and allow the love within another to be expressed. There is no giving or taking. If you do things in a way where you believe you are giving “love” to someone who has NPD, then you are in effect enabling their tendencies because they will only end up taking advantage of you.
The best and only way to deal with people who have NPD is to not enable their tendencies. You do this by setting firm and consistently reinforced boundaries and not letting them take advantage of your kindness.
NPD or not, all anyone can do with regards to “love,” is to learn to love themselves and acknowledge and respect the love within others. You do not do this by allowing others to abuse you.
No more stupid questions please.
____________________________________
Narcissists, specifically malignant narcissists or psychopaths, don't care about love, they only use "love" as a weapon against people.
But there are always those who want to go against the grain and show compassion to abusers and murderers. There’s a term for such people, maybe I will write about that here one day. I have a book written about this by a forensic psychologist.
Narcissists are technically human, I think, but that doesn’t mean they deserve love.
If you'd like to show someone like Ted Bundy love, then go on right ahead, despite that he killed 30 young women that we know about.
No, I really really do want to know. If you have or ever had a daughter, would you actually tell her to show Ted Bundy love? Let’s not demonize poor Theodore, right? Aw shucks, can’t hurt his feelings.
How about Chris Watts, who murdered his preganant wife and two little girls? He stuffed their bodies into oil containters. How sweet. Maybe he wasn't being loved enough.
https://www.quora.com/I-think-that-people-very-often-demonize-narcissists-Do-you-actually-understand-that-narcissists-are-human-beings-who-need-love-like-anyone-else
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In The Daze of Deception - Part 2
@Roger-PIA56
7 months ago
There needs to be a huge push for the kind of preaching and teaching that Pastor Jack does. We only came across him a few months ago and have a renewed faith and world view, from all his teaching. A tell-it-like-it is, Bible based truth, common sense preaching. He's bold, he speaks the truth and we all know it. We can all feel that in our soul. Very few, I mean very, very few pastors have the boldness and courage in today's "woke" society to speak Biblical truth. May God continue to bless Pastor Jack Hibbs, his ministry, his family, his health and his mission.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoTFH_C9jQw
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How will a covert narc devalue a supply?
Covert narcissists are extremely passive and aggressive in nature.
The problem with covert narcissists is that they will keep devaluing you for little things because they are highly sensitive to their feelings. You won't even realize Covert narcissists are hurt by your simple words.
Abuse is planned by covert narcissists, like how to target your weaknesses, how to triangulate you, how to make you feel insecure and jealous, or how to mess with your feelings and important things.
A covert narcissist will be sitting in front of you and talking very nicely; you won't even realize they are planning something against you.
Covert narcissists passive-aggressive approach to devaluing you is very dangerous; sometimes you don't even realize you are being abused.
A covert narcissist will purposely devalue you in a very indirect way, so it's hard for you to point it out to them. Covert narcissists won't do anything for you; they create problems in your life, activities, and schedule by bringing their problems into the picture. Even if you are sick, they won't hesitate to create more problems in your life by avoiding you or by doing things you don't like. Covert narcissists will purposely do all the things you don't like to make you angry and frustrated.
Covert narcissists are wolves in sheep's clothes.
https://decodingnarcissism.quora.com/How-will-a-covert-narc-devalue-a-supply?topAns=1477743755016687
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How Narcissists Weaponize
the Court System
HOW NARCISSISTS WEAPONIZE THE COURT SYSTEM//Are you dealing with a narcissist in court and feel as if they are using the court system as just another way to abuse you? Are you dealing with court related abuse, harassment, and bullying? Does your ex keep taking you back to court? Watch this video to learn about all the ways that narcissists use the court and legal system against you so that you can prepare and destroy them in court.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nV_wJuw_L0
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How to Catch a Narcissist
in Court
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqL_rm5DETo
@matthewwozniak9138
3 months ago
Best response for insane allegations is to neither admit or deny such allegations. Just keep 'em' talking and they'll tell on themselves. You won't even have to testify.
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:tello: "This is what was done to me by that Evil Woman. She tricked me to take my tools to Nevada...and then what? I am forever perplexed about her objective. It was to keep me in the house and out of the Shop. I'm suing for loss of back and potential income."
What is a dark hobby or dark interest that a narcissist might have that he/she may not talk about?
The narcissist's most prized achievement, comes from watching their object of attention (aka their supply), focussing on something of value – their purpose perhaps – and causing that person to shift their attention away from all that is of value, and instead onto the narcissist.
The goal here, is to keep the person distracted for long enough, withdrawn from their personal endeavours sufficiently, such that all those things which were being created suffer a collapse, being left in ruin.
Here's the thing.
If you are a dedicated, determined, devoted individual – who feels purpose and meaning in that which you partake in – then how important does the narcissist feel by getting you to shift attention away from all those precious things and onto the narcissist instead?
The narcissist's hungry ego and grandiosity mean that, only by becoming the center of your world and watching everything else in your world collapse, are they satisfied.
And then of course, you are discarded.
The narcissist's purpose and hobby, is to kill yours.
___________________________________
A narcissist’s darkness is not one thing you can put your finger on. It’s an invisible linger that pours from them…
They secretively, but purposefully, put you through tests in an attempt to find a chink in your armour so they can play with you and control you. These tests are through ‘heartfelt’ conversations, in which the narcissist is really disarming you and data-collecting. These tests are also through subtle requests of you, inappropriate behaviours, triangulation, gaslighting, baiting, all intentionally orchestrated to push you to the edge and beyond your comfort zone to gauge your reaction. “Why does nothing bother this guy…” wonders the narc, “If I can’t hurt him, how can I gain control of him…”.
The narcissist keeps testing. Dragging your temperament left to right and back again. They are right there beside you with that little invisible poking stick, digging it into your ribs ever so slightly, but frequently. Eventually, you feel it too, but you’re confused….how can this person that loves me so much be so cruel. Any time you react (even not reacting is still a reaction), they are keeping score and taking note of the areas they can hurt you.
When they find the chink in your armour, they will attack that area through sickening baiting and manipulative games in an attempt to discolour your vibrancy, confuse you, ruin your peace, and get a reaction from you. When you react with retort, they feel elevated... they feel power. “Now who’s the one with problems. Poor you, searching for answers. I won’t give you them, pathetic person. I will give you my lies instead, and then I will give you my silence”. A nice injection of supply as they watch you plead for sense…an expression of regret… understanding… harmony, which you’ll never get. The narc now feels control.
They slowly reel you into their web, away from all your passions and hobbies. The things that contribute to your happiness and character. Months, or even years, go by and you didn’t realise it but you feel you’ve sort of lost your identity. You aren’t yourself, your surroundings are distant, you feel….fragile, confused, and lost. All the attention has been channelled toward the narcissist and their agenda, and their needs, and their expectations.
You have been robbed of your confidence, your self esteem, your worth, your optimism, your value, your brightness, and your dignity.
This is the dark interest of a narcissist that they will never tell you. Robbing you of who you are.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-dark-hobby-or-dark-interest-that-a-narcissist-might-have-that-he-she-may-not-talk-about?topAns=1477743736057642
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Why do narcissists like to play
the victim? Isn't that beneath them?
A narcissist acts like a victim to make you feel guilty. It's the easiest way for narcissists to change situations according to themselves without taking any responsibility or accountability. Narcissists get the upper hand in relationships when they behave like victims.
Being a victim gets them attention, empathy, sympathy, and understanding from other people and you. Narcissists know that when they behave like victims, they are less likely to be questioned for their bad behavior. Narcissists will lie and cheat, then act like victims to put all the blame on you. It's a childish act.
Being a victim gets them narcissistic supply. If narcissists stop acting like victims, then they won't get sympathy and empathy from people, including you. Narcissists have a victim's mentality in every situation.
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-like-to-play-the-victim-Isnt-that-beneath-them?topAns=1477743754276970
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The narcissist can’t be alone. It’s not possible as they would absolutely collapse. They always have someone lined up. Always. And you’ll see this because they suddenly no longer mirror you and their physical appearance and interests change overnight.
Suddenly the usual disdain and contempt is ramped up to the point you begin to fear for your life. Then they jump ship and the discard is complete. Don’t be sad. This is the best gift a narcissist can or will ever give you. Your freedom.
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How do I get a narcissist to
actually love me?
That’s easy. If you want to get a narcissist to fall in love with you, just follow these ten little rules:
Believe everything he says and support everything he does.
Give him everything he wants without expecting anything in return.
Faithfully keep all of his secrets.
Trust that his version of events is true.
Never question, contradict or criticize him.
Believe that he would never cheat on you, despite any evidence to the contrary.
Cheerfully accept all of his verbal and/or physical “corrections,” as they’re for your own good.
Understand that his silent treatments are an important part of your self-improvement plan.
Never expect an apology or explanation for anything he has said or done.
Tell him every day how much you adore him, and how lucky you are to have him in your life.
Okay, got that? Sounds good, huh? He’s sure to love you forever if you just follow the rules, right? Well… not so much.
There’s one teensy thing that I forgot to mention: A NARCISSIST IS INCAPABLE OF LOVING *ANYONE* BUT HIMSELF. Period.
Get far, far away from every narcissist you encounter in your life.
Immediately.
And stay away, no matter how much sweet talk and/or abuse they pile on to get you to change your mind. If you don’t get out, your very survival will be at risk.
Take my word for it: I speak from way too many years of experience.
I wish you peace.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-get-a-narcissist-to-actually-love-me
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Does the narcissist treat the one after me as badly
as he did me?
This topic is the one that scrambles your heart and mind even more than it was…
It will appear that someone is getting all promised you. It will appear that another is getting what you only wished for, now stolen from you. This will linger as you watch, follow, hear about them after you, with someone else.
You may have been abruptly thrown away at your lowest, feeling less than in ways you can't even relate to. You may be relating to where they went and with who. You will either forget what you endured or believe it was just you. This is the most wicked lie you probably believe.
What makes it even worse is that an extremely emotionally and psychologically ill individual is rubbing someone else in your face or, you think that they moved on naturally….healthy and "normal" now. The first part, highly likely, the second part….a wicked deception in self deception as well.
By pure willpower and a fight for your own new "normal" you may try to do the same. They are doing it and seems to be working very well for them. The huge problem there is that they are the same person that abused you always, having nothing to do with you.
Sadly, you aren't the same for now and you may think that just "moving on" is the end-all-be-all cure in your potential state. That's not happening. Either you can't just "move on" as you desperately needed or you are extremely vulnerable to similarities in the lack of unhealthy attachments, the same, maybe worse for now.
In the attempt to do what they are capable of doing, your inability to do the same may just add to your unclear and unknowing state in a perpetual cycle of your own….
The abuser, the manipulator, the gaslighter, the one incapable of caring, making the choice in not caring will be who they were with you. They did it before you and after in continuum….
It wasn't you. But, the damage done to you needs healing and truth for any possibility of you "moving on" in your life, with someone who was everything opposite from the one that that is perpetually damaging no matter who they are with and how it appears to you.
___________________________________
Yep, yes, you got it, absolutely! The only thing that changes in a narcissist’s life is the supply. The narc will tell the new supply they are the best thing that ever happened to them, they are the love of their life. I can attest to the fact I was only one in a long string of “ loves of my life.”
When we first met she dumped the guy she was in a relationship with so she could love bomb me into being her new supply. When I asked about the nature of her relationship with him, she instantly denied any relationship. Jump forward to the present, her son asks whatever happened to this guy since they were always together. So. He too was one of a series of men she hooked through sex, used up, tossed away because each of them meant absolutely nothing to her.
Each was merely a d*ck to be used until a more interesting one came along. A supply is disposable, ALWAYS! The narc will tell the same tale of woe about each of the discarded supply - one would think all the supply were brothers from the same family with the exact same faults.
A narc will eventually treat a new supply exactly the same way when ready to discard the supply. In this way narcissists are very predictable, they show no imagination. They generally reserve imagination for hunting and snaring their next prey. So, know your ex narc will treat the next supply as badly if not worse. Just wait for it, sooner or later it will happen.
_______________________________
No, not always. Sometimes the narc uses the new one to “prove” that they are a nice person, that you were LYING or imagining it, so your allegations never have any credibility.
My abusive ex’s new partner, the ugly giant chinned beotch, testified in family court that he was not controlling or abusive in any way. What a dumb monkey but she did make me look a liar.
I knew that my ex was switching it off for her - eg. not being a narc with her, using her to make himself look good, and it worked, at least for a while.
_______________________________
Pretty much.
Do not be surprised if he would one day make a return out of mere curiosity to see if you would be miserable or even worse without them. The kicker would be if they would see that you would be miserable they would seem disgusted of such, yet if you would have managed and had moved on they then would seem even more tempted to make a return. They would seem to really like the chase.
Would it mean that if they would make a return that it would be better though? Nope. They would seem to repeat themselves', unable to ever reflect and would merely be repeating the process. So what you had gone through before it would likely happen once again this time around too.
They may be prone to cycling back to prior partners if they would be having a dry spell and not much luck.
https://www.quora.com/Does-the-narcissist-treat-the-one-after-me-as-badly-as-he-did-me
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The narc operates from The Dark Side.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/O8rpI8Kwp2s
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NARCISSISTS ARE DEMONIC, WATCH OUT : Relationship advice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3PqY1kZpGE
@LN-pm5yl
10 months ago
People who say narcissists are not demons have not been with one. I married one and had kids with another and they both nearly drove me to action I wont verbalize. I did not believe in evil until this happened to me. They will terrorize you and leave you for dead if you allow it.
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This is a tactic to put narcissists
in their place so they will
shut up and suffer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUobmb73V88
@fenderblue9485
4 hours ago
They have ZERO empathy and life's only about them.
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11 SMART Ways to Deal with
TOXIC People | STOICISM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGAcXNs9p4E
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This Is How Narcissists
Secretly Undermine You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uii8KeuVA1Y
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The Most Disturbing Twist
in Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-mSEcxfsqQ
Not knowing is the worst part of dealing with one; but once you know, game over.
They are such simplistic, self defeating, li'l creatures.
On another note, narcissists are more harmful than real ghosts.
The best way is no contact-ignore them-block their phones and be happy and free!!! Game over for the narcissist!!!!!
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How Narcissists Play
Both Sides Of The
Victim Game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80S5UcUEZ0I
@wakeupordie
1 day ago (edited)
The narcissist insults you, belittles you, gaslights you, slanders and defames you, and when you express normal feelings about that such as: hurt, frustration, or anger, guess what the narcissist says? "You have a victim mentality".
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What will a narcissist do when
they know they can't win?
Narcissists never play fair. Narcissists make rules, break rules, and change rules according to their needs and situations. Narcissists want to prove themselves correct in every situation; proving themselves right is the ultimate goal of narcissists.
When narcissists feel they don't have a point or are unable to defend themselves, they'll start gaslighting and bringing back your past mistakes. Narcissists will create false stories, lie, cheat, manipulate and deceive to put you down. Narcissists might behave in a in a passive, aggressive way to punish you. Narcissists will give you silent treatment to punish you. The main motive of a narcissist is to break you down until you surrender. Narcissists don't have logic or understanding; they completely operate on ego.
You can win only when you leave a narcissist.
___________________________________
They play victim, justify their actions, and retell their skewed story of how the relationship ended to gain narcissistic supply from others. They take no genuine accountability, they offer no solace to those they have wronged, and remediation, especially public remediation, is out of the question. Narcissists will find a way to win, even if they have to recreate history to avoid consequences for their own actions.
___________________________________
Anything you possibly can think of.
They'll take you to court. Tell a sob story of how much YOU hurt them, when in reality, they were the ones who bankrupt you. Or didn't pay child support.
They'll get their friends or acquaintances to start messaging you. (Flying Monkeys)
But of course- these people have absolutely no idea what happened in your relationship with this Narc.
They hear the watered down version of your relationship- leaving out every single abusive thing they did or said to you.
They'll message you anonymously on Social Media. Leave cryptic messages you know that the two of you only understand.
They may even attempt to physically hurt you. They'll show up at your work, or house to intimidate you.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-will-a-narcissist-do-when-they-know-they-cant-win?topAns=1477743747157199
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Don't MESS With the
CHOSEN ONES - EVER!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKxt9OWJ1Vw
@downhomegirl5
4 days ago (edited)
We get attacked all the time & the demonic always try to pull us down. We get better at rebuking the devil.
-
:keelhaul:
:walkplank:
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How does a narcissist feel most of the time?
People often say, "No, they don't hate themselves. Narcissists love themselves. That's what narcissism is."
But that's not quite right. Narcissism is like really bad self-love; it's toxic or poisonous. It's actually the opposite of love. Narcissists are all about themselves and what they need, that's true, but it's not love. It's just about their needs, that's all they understand.
It's hard for people who aren't narcissists to get this because their thoughts and feelings are more grown-up and complicated. But narcissists are more like little kids. They just think, "I want, I need," all the time.
Think about it like breathing. You don't breathe because you love yourself, you breathe because you have to stay alive. It's just a reaction to needing air. Narcissists are the same. They freak out over stuff that seems silly because deep down, they really hate themselves.
They hate themselves so much that they don't think they deserve anything, not even to live sometimes. To try and deal with those horrible feelings, they've convinced themselves of the opposite. They believe they deserve everything. They see things as either they don't deserve anything or they deserve everything, there's no in-between.
Every time they can't get what they want, it reminds them of how much they hate themselves. These feelings are so big and scary for them, and they don't know how to handle them very well. It feels like the worst thing ever, and they feel like they can't even go on living. This made-up idea that they deserve everything is all that keeps them from doing something really dangerous. So, when something messes with that idea, they freak out.
____________________________________
The safest, most secure thing the narcissist can feel, is nothing.
By feeling nothing, not experiencing any emotions whatsoever, narcissists are at low risk of suffering narcissistic injuries, as well as extreme paranoia, loneliness, shame, and so on.
But, feeling nothing (or feeling close to nothing) is not always easy, and it is a close cousin to the feeling of boredom. Narcissists do not like feeling bored, it's just not what they are about.
So the narcissist wants excitement and ego-boosts, but rely heavily on others to provide this. Narcissists do not like to admit they are extremely dependent on others, but they are.
So narcissists spend a lot of time bored and feeling almost dead inside, but actively pursue excitement and good supply. And when it comes, they have a blast.
But, by opening themselves up to feeling good, they are also opening themselves up to feeling bad. And usually, emotional crashes soon follow emotional highs.
The narcissist experiences an ongoing dilemma, of trying to feel nothing, or wanting to feel good.
Which puts them at risk of heavy narcissistic injuries.
________________________________________
Understanding how a narcissist feels most of the time requires a nuanced look into their internal experiences and external behaviors, which often reveal a profound and persistent unease concealed beneath a facade of confidence. At the heart of a narcissist's emotional landscape is a paradoxical mix of vulnerability and grandiosity, a complex dynamic that shapes much of their interaction with the world.
A narcissist often lives in a state of the constant need for attention and admiration. This manifests in their tendency to dominate conversations and steer interactions back to themselves, frequently overshadowing others and minimizing their contributions. This behavior isn't just a preference but a necessity, driven by an overwhelming desire to always appear favorable in the eyes of others. It's a relentless quest for external validation that, at its core, reflects a deep-seated insecurity about their worth.
This insecurity also ties into their notable lack of empathy, an inability to genuinely connect with the emotions and experiences of others. For a narcissist, relationships often serve as mere platforms for their self-aggrandizement rather than genuine connections.
People close to a narcissist may frequently notice a lack of genuine concern for others, particularly in situations where empathy is most needed. This deficiency can make their interpersonal relationships appear superficial and transactional, where others are valued primarily for their utility rather than their humanity.
Coupled with these emotional struggles is a pronounced sense of entitlement. Narcissists often harbor an exaggerated belief in their uniqueness, which fuels their expectations for special treatment and exemptions from the rules that bind others. This entitlement, however, is not just a superficial demand but stems from an inner narrative that reinforces their supposed superiority over others, a narrative they are compelled to protect at all costs.
Manipulative behaviors are integral to maintaining this narrative. A narcissist intricately weaves schemes designed to control others, not just physically but emotionally and perceptually. These tactics are often so embedded in their interactions that they can be challenging to detect. Through manipulation, a narcissist seeks to shape the world around them in a way that perpetually feeds their ego and shields them from the vulnerabilities they fear.
This avoidance of vulnerability is also evident in their lack of accountability. Faced with mistakes or criticisms, a narcissist often resorts to deflecting blame, making excuses, or reshaping the narrative to avoid any assault on their self-esteem. They are profoundly averse to acknowledging faults because doing so would undermine the fragile edifice of superiority they've constructed.
Criticism is particularly threatening to a narcissist. It triggers a range of defensive mechanisms, from dismissiveness to outright hostility. Rather than engaging with constructive feedback, a narcissist is more likely to reject it or retaliate, viewing it as a direct challenge to their self-conceived supremacy.
Overall, beneath the apparent confidence and control, a narcissist often feels a persistent unease, driven by an insatiable need for validation and a deep fear of inadequacy. Their emotional world is marked by a constant tension between their grandiose self-image and the underlying vulnerabilities they strive so desperately to conceal.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-feel-most-of-the-time?topAns=1477743755721736
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:sights:
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:sam2gun:
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Banning guns does not violate the 2nd amendment. Are gun enthusiasts willing to reach a compromise or does the full weight of the US Constitution need to be used to enact promising change for the welfare of this nation?
Banning guns DOES INDEED VIOLATE THE 2ND AMENDMENT! Here's my compromise. You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers. My ancestors tried comprising with you pale faces. NEVER AGAIN!
https://www.quora.com/Banning-guns-does-not-violate-the-2nd-amendment-Are-gun-enthusiasts-willing-to-reach-a-compromise-or-does-the-full-weight-of-the-US-Constitution-need-to-be-used-to-enact-promising-change-for-the-welfare-of-this?topAns=1477743755674540
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Why are narcissists so mean
and vengeful?
Narcissists are extremely egoistic; when they feel they have been wronged, they will go to any extent to teach you a lesson. Narcissists can hold grudges for ages to teach you a lesson; they don't forget being wronged according to them so easily.
Narcissists can be mean and vengeful because they feel you have threatened their image by going against them. Narcissists see you as a big threat when you don't obey them. Narcissists feel insulted and humiliated when you go against them because, for narcissists, their reputation and image are everything.
To satisfy their ego, they will punish you.
Behind closed doors, narcissists are all about control and authority. Anything that goes against them is taken seriously. They will teach you a lesson by being passively aggressive, insulting, bullying, putting you down in front of people, opening your secrets, misplacing your items, etc.
Some narcissists can go to any extent to teach you a lesson, like destroying your life and property, hurting you, seriously harming you, taking away children, causing problems in your job, putting you behind bars through false allegations, and the list goes on.
Narcissists hold grudges; they will wait for the right opportunity to take revenge to satisfy their ego.
__________________________________
They are meaner than a demon. They are so vindictive, which means they are going to punish you, they love making up stuff about you, and then turning everyone against you on trumped up accusations.
They are hell-bent on hurting certain people. Ones they know they can get away with it. They have a sadistically bent mind. I think they have a violent heart and soul. They sure don’t want to piss off someone bigger and stronger than them, that could beat the hell out of them, so they generally go after women and kids. Most of them are massive cowards and even bigger bullies.
https://hiddenthedarktruthaboutcovertnarcissism.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-mean-and-vengeful?topAns=1477743754804427
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Do all narcissists think
we’re in fact the narcissist?
Name calling in a toxic relationship….
Many of us have called an abusive, toxic, destructive and crazy making partner, a narcissist.
Whether out of anger or discovery, the word may be spoken. Oddly, she referred to me with every other word possible, nothing associated with anything "crazy", emotionally or mentally ill. She knew those terms but stayed clear, perhaps a soft spot for HER.
Now, you know enough, you've tried to gain perspective, figure out what is, what was the issue and then it unfolds from there….maybe the "cliff notes" were enough, maybe you went for the deep dive….only you know.
Did you recall how difficult it was to wrap your head around how much was missing from someone you were deeply connected to, maybe you still do?
Do you think a narcissist knows what that is outside of an insult, the one word for a many worded monsters? A word unfortunately thrown around today without the truth behind the word in the world of Psychology?
A obscure insult or something so much more?
Some know the depths of abuse and destruction, the consequences of having a dynamic with a permanently emotionally and psychologically ill individual. (Damaged Goods)
With the advent of growing awareness of Narcissism, usually at the bravery of the experienced partner, it has also become a more detailed insult as opposed to someone just being "crazy". Sure, psychopath, sociopath and borderline is gaining momentum but in my opinion, narcissist takes the lead.
I've heard all those terms used as a more distinctive insult alluding to someone being the ultimate bastard, jerk, a*shole in the treatment of another, the emotional aftermath and I get it.
Is it true? I suspect in some if not many cases, it's the detailed words as reaction, just a reaction.
I challenged myself over and over again after being in a relationship dynamic with a narcissist to get to the most objective place I can. I don't use the word in some general way or reinforce, validate or support it's usage as an insult.
What does a true narcissist know? You'll never swim freely in their world behind the facade to really know.
You can surmise and conclude what they don't in the experienced at least.
Can a narcissist feel, see and fully understand emotional and psychological illness in another that resembles their own? No, it doesn't fit.
Does a narcissist feel what the abused feels? No. Can a narcissist be objective enough to conclude someone else is what they are? Only in skewed projection, a falsehood.
Sometimes people find words that align with their reaction and others learn or have a significantly different perspective.
A narcissist will look for more and more words to hurt, confuse, create doubt, use gaslighting and conditioning you may succumb to.
My experience with a narcissist had me believing something was seriously wrong with me, I was the confused and broken one. Yes, eventually pretty broken and most definitely confused.
How can a perpetually emotional and psychologically ill individual use a word that describes them projected onto you?
It's either just another word or they've heard it before from someone referring to them, a mental health care professional or a former partner.
A narcissist is very unlikely to use the word as a it means in a personality disorder, it's just another word.
____________________________________
I don't think they randomly think of us as Narcissists, however, if we say anything to them that indicates they are toxic, have deplorable behavior, are cheaters or liars they will deflect that back to us, telling us we are crazy, accusing us of cheating, lying and gaslighting them.
They are shame based and can't and won't accept any responsibility for any wrong doing. By blaming us, accusing us of being Narcisstic, they take the blame off theirselves.
I think they know it's not us, but don't care how that hurts us or affects us as long as they don't have to talk about what they did.
_________________________________
ALL NARCISSISTS THINK YOU'RE THE A*SHOLE.
And if they find any description that would fit an a*shole,
Or if you decide to explain exactly the character traits of a sick degenerate.
They will assume it's you who's being described.
For the simple fact that they need to hold on to their conviction of being innocent and good people.
If it weren't for you being a raging a*shole, they would never treat you the way they do.
In this equation there's only room for one narcissist.
And it's not gonna be the narcissist.
https://www.quora.com/Do-all-narcissists-think-we-re-in-fact-the-narcissist
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:help:
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:ni:
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Signs You've Encountered a Demon Inside Someone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ek4dUW-Nyk
@dalehess6265
1 year ago
The same demon shows up in a different person to try again,
over and over again.
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Narcissists Will
Lose Their Minds Even Go Mad
If You Do These 10 Things
Let's dive into the intricate psyche of a narcissist, where even the slightest trigger can set off a tumultuous storm. Their capacity to handle frustration, rejection, or criticism is fragile, intertwined with deep-seated insecurities masked by a facade of grandiosity. Any reminder of their shortcomings can inflict what's termed as narcissistic injury, igniting a chaotic spiral, often directed at those who challenge their inflated self-image or hold them accountable.
While we don't endorse provoking or intentionally harming narcissists, it's essential to understand the triggers that unveil their true nature. In today's video, we'll explore ten scenarios that could send any narcissist into a tailspin, revealing the fragile core beneath their veneer of confidence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCnnX2S_Hfw
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Why Chosen Ones Thrive
(The REAL Power of Being Misunderstood)
Feeling like you don’t quite fit in can actually be your greatest strength. In today’s video, we explore the unique advantages of being misunderstood. We delve into how historical geniuses turned their isolation into innovation, and how you, too, can transform feelings of alienation into a catalyst for extraordinary achievements. Discover the hidden power of being different and learn how embracing your true self can lead to success and fulfillment. Join us as we uncover the real power of being misunderstood and how to harness it to revolutionize your life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImnewZBoxjY
The thing is, as the world awakens, those that were misunderstood, are now being recognised as the hero's they always were.
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I love being alone. That's when I don't feel lonely.
Chosen but Alone: Why You Can't Be Around a Lot of People
@butchcassidy9625
2 weeks ago (edited)
As a child, I could not understand where all the hate was coming from, but I realize now that I was a good kid. I wasn't like everyone else but I couldn't put my finger on where this barrier of hate was coming from. But now as an adult, I understand what the issue is and now I can see why people act that way.
Being a good person is the hardest thing to do in this earth. You will be going against a current your whole life. When you are truly a good person and that means even when nobody is looking. That's when the spiritual battle begins. Now you will be attacked in ways you can't see. You have to be spiritually ready for that. That's the biggest reason why people give up, because it's too hard. But that's why the pay off is so great. It's a marathon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZWMpsadDas
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When Satan Weakens
In Narcissists Then They
Will Collapse Forever
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oq0UV9Hv3KE
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Why Chosen Ones Scare
and make people feel Intimidated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pg0wuwvAJW0
@sathanakanarat8995
1 day ago
My presence attracts both positive and negative responses. What's shocking is hostile behaviors from siblings. This video reminds me to embrace mindfulness and compassion towards people.
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9 Signs You Are a Chosen One |
All Chosen One's Must Watch This
Are you feeling special? Chosen? Receiving a message from your higher power? Since you're here, it's most likely that you are one of the chosen ones. In this video, we're going to discuss some of the signs that you are a chosen one.
If you're feeling like you're special and you're getting guidance from a higher power, then you should watch this video! In it, we'll discuss some of the signs that point to you being a chosen one. From knowing your purpose to being a black sheep, these are the signs you need to watch for if you want to feel like you're on the path to something great!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYBS7sTLHkM
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The Magic WITHIN YOU &
How To ACTIVATE IT (ENERGY = MAGIC)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxQqKMDSb30
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Be Careful Being Happy
Around Unhappy Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9WY5J2wdFM
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Unreal... My ex Narc got jealous and butt-hurt when I connected with another YouTube creator, Just Observing, a fine Lady who lives on the other side of the country. (I was a co-host on her shows). It was delightful to see her squirm because my attention was somewhere else and not on her. My happiness made her mad.
She found new supply who has no particular interests in life, so yeah, let them have each other's misery. I am sooooo HAPPY!
@CarnivoreStork
19 hours ago
Narcissistic not only hate you being happy....they hate when you are content with your circumstances.
@dkcelestin1558
20 hours ago
"Fun Suckers, Joy Killers, and Merchants of Chaos."...
Can't say it any better.
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When Karma Strikes a Narcissist, The Truth You Won't Believe! | NPD | Narcissism Backfires
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfLB7BRJXO8
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WHAT THE NARCISSIST NEVER THOUGHT WOULD HAPPEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dn9xBvWoVLY
@marieeakin8534
3 days ago
The narc thinks because you are being nice...you are in agreement or not questioning their odd behavior.
You are still nice.... when there comes the time of not tolerating them & going No Contact. Surprise narc, WE WIN!
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Discover the Top Fears Narcissists
Have When Losing Their
Former Supply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs0ecO0J9DU
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The narcissist realizes they made
a mistake when they lost you.
You're the one that got away!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y153hM5zzj8
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Narcs refuse to believe that consequences exist.
@coreyondavis6032
4 months ago
I knew I was going to be discarded the moment she kept making threats to break up and telling me to date other people. After she left I immediately got a new job at a law firm, got my driver's license, art in an art show in a museum and played in a short film. At this point I'm convinced that victims of narcissism will win
@Thehappybirder
5 months ago
I would not let my narcissistic ex-wife back in my life for anything. She had her chance and she blew it.
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When Narcissists Perform These
Stupid Behaviors, They Signal Their Own
Ultimate Demise Before You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cp9Akcz6kc
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THE BLOCKING GAMES OF THE NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIVElQPtf4M&t=39s
@luiscaballero5493
4 days ago (edited)
I would like to add that we are empaths, we care, we give, we TRULY love, etc. DON"T change who you are, change/discard the people that don't appreciate these wonderful qualities...someone will come along the way and appreciate for who you are and have to offer!!! VIBRATE HIGH
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When Empaths Decide To Face Narcissists
Head On, Here's What Can
Possibly Happen!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTBY9v0dRbY
@jseven7096
1 year ago
They nailed it. I think one of an empaths main problems is they let people walk all over them. We have to start saying no to people just like they always say no to us. It's a horrible feeling to feel like a doormat for these other people who clearly only care about themselves.
It's exhausting so like the video says we just ignore them, the problem is we always let some people back in. We gotta stop that and learn to be ok with just saying NO or learn to let these toxic people go. I wish you all luck and I myself know its easier said than done. Baby steps are fine.
@robertapayne9768
2 years ago
They will run claiming you're wrong, but truth is... you simply called them out on their BS
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How Testing a Sigma Empath Leads
Narcissists to Embarrass Themselves
| Narcissism Backfires
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByNrPzUDEPY
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THEY ARE CURSED…PRICE YOU PAY
FOR TRYING TO HURT THE
CHOSEN ONE! BEWARE!
In today's deep dive, we discuss why certain things unfold the way they do and whether those who do wrong ever face consequences. We're examining the idea that what goes around, comes around, and why you should trust the universe to balance the scales.
Discover how facing adversity with grace can strengthen your spirit and align you closer to your higher goals. We'll explore how negative energies and challenging situations are not just random occurrences but tests of your resilience that prepare you for greatness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJvkg8pcaBg
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Is there anyone who has seen
a narcissist get their karma?
Ugh, I have read folks’ responses to this question act like the Narcissists never get what is coming to them. I am here to shock you. They do. They either get it here or in the next life.
Let me give these examples to help you folks:
If a tree falls in the forest, does it not make a sound when it lands? Just because you are not there, does not mean it does not.
Just because it is the night, does not the sun rise again? Just because you can’t see the sun at night, does not mean it will fail to resume rising in the morning.
Just because you are breathing, does not death wait for you? It is inevitable. Why would you doubt that or other things in nature?
Therefore, if a Narcissist does bad in the world, are you telling me that they will not face karma on a spiritual plane? I am here to tell you they will. You will just not be there to see it. Why? Because if you were smart, you would have gladly stayed away and not seen the narcissistic collapse which befall many of these folks.
Cluster B examples getting their comeuppance:
Psychopath or Sociopath: Bernie Madoff ended up in prison and lost everything
Covert Narcissist: Ellen Degeneres lost her show
Classic Narcissist: Trump losing the election and facing criminal charges
Malignant Narcissist: Scott Peterson in prison
Borderline: Angelina Jolie unable to secure work like she once did
Covert Narcissist: Amber Heard is blacklisted
I could keep going, but you get the idea.
Here are personal examples:
Covert Narcissist I know: Has Parkinson’s
Cover Narcissist: She is all alone. Has issues with her kids.
Finally, narcissists get what is coming to them, it just takes time.
Good luck to those that believe down the road a narcissist is free and clear without consequences. That is the final lie they want you to believe…it was not their fault, they are doing great, and they are better off without you. They are better off, because they won’t be around to bother you. And you are better off when they leave your life. These are just my opinions.
_____________________________________
Narcissists live out their karma every single day. Imagine being a fugitive on the run, and not some mastermind either, just a regular person trying to outrun being hunted for your crimes against humanity. That’s the life a narcissist leads. But who they’re trying to outrun is themselves. And no matter where they go, there they are.
Imagine needing to rely on never being seen for who you really are to feel any sense of positive identity.
Imagine trying to keep up with a million and one lies at all times.
Imagine never being able to be alone with your thoughts.
Imagine having no control over your impulses.
Imagine losing everyone that ever truly loved you (the ones who saw the real you, behind the mask, and stayed) bc you did so much to hurt them.
Imagine never being able to love or be loved truly.
Imagine the only love you’ll ever get will never be for who you truly are bc who you are is nothing but that which you mirror of those around you.
Imagine the lack of peace they ever have.
Imagine the anxiety that comes with some part of them knowing the jig will eventually always be up.
Imagine being so miserable at your baseline your entire life revolves around chasing a distraction from that.
The narcissist live out their karma every single second of every single day. All they ever get is a brief and fleeting (and often self-destructive) distraction from the ass kicking karma is never not giving them.
While we may be left with CPTSD, we’re also left with a larger capacity for peace. The thing about being traumatized is that it’s extremely stressful, and so we come to more fully appreciate that which is…not. We find peace in the smallest places, we find peace where other people might be “bored”. We find joy in such small pleasures bc we have been so devoid of it for so long and we still suffer so we know to savor and cherish those sweet, small moments of bliss. We pour our effort into creating a peaceful and purposeful life. The narcissist will never know such joys, such purity, only distractions from how miserable they are.
Never could a narcissist sit with themselves in silence, no matter their view. Whether they’re at the DMV or somewhere beautiful. If they have to be alone with their thoughts and no distractions, they’re in their version of literal hell.
Never could a narcissist have an interesting internal dialogue, never could he control that voice, never could he separate himself from it. Never could the narcissist just be content being with himself.
Never would they awe at how the sunlight hits their favorite window just right, or marvel at a butterfly, or appreciate the way the bees love their flowers this year.
Never could they be so present, only distracted.
That is their karma, a life of mindless and meaningless distractions, while we go on to mindfully and meaningfully lives.
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Is-there-anyone-who-has-seen-a-narcissist-get-their-karma?topAns=1477743707955198
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What will a narcissist do when you finally and continuously act like you don’t care about them & show them no attention?
Narcissists will find ways to get your attention. If they are not getting your attention, then they will use passive-aggressive tactics or throw tantrums to get your attention. A narcissist can't live without your attention. Narcissists fear losing you if they lose control, power, and authority over you. When narcissists get your attention, they are sure they have control over you.
If you don't give narcissists attention, then they will say you don't love them. Narcissists will use different ways to get your attention.
Attention is like a drug for narcissists. If narcissists aren't able to get your attention, then they will probably look for other supplies to get attention. If a narcissist has the habit of cheating, then they'll look to cheat on someone who gives them attention.
If narcissists have a very good supply, then they are likely to discard you or ghost you.
____________________________________
At first he will assume you are pouting and go about his merry way amused.
Then when you continue to not respond he gets curious. He will bait you with cryptic text messages.
He will turn off his locations hoping you will notice. Then worried that you assumed the worst, he will be sweet - briefly but it is only to see if you even noticed.
He’ll namedrop hoping to triangulate you against others.
After a few days it becomes seriously offensive- what if he was dying? How can you be so callous.
He will accuse you of seeing someone else. Still no response? If you shared a TV subscription with him, passwords will get changed and you will be locked out. He may apply for credit in your name or get his license updated to yours so guard shack lets him in as if he lives there.
Mine went out and got a second phone apparently believing that somehow I was able to see everything on his old phone and that was why I stopped talking to him.
Reportedly drove the 100 miles to my place 19 times in 60 days of silence.
I was unaware I was being tracked through a gas card app but fortunately I led a very dull life so no cause for drama.
The paranoia that grips them confirms they have a guilty conscience. Once they feel safe again after deleting all incriminating evidence they review all your emails and texts and rediscover what you might want to hear so they have the perfect thing to say.
They figure out how to unblock themselves. Takes a day or so but a script is run to unblock iCloud messaging.
They know you want to be validated for your pain and that they caused it. That is the trump card they don’t want to play unless it is a last resort. But don’t get excited just yet. Confession is not an admission of guilt as you will soon realize as soon as you fall for that trap.
You see, they only did what they did because YOU triggered them. You realize they know exactly what they are doing - the brain injury story was just how to excuse behavior. He goes on full attack mode gaslighting galore until… you either serve, break down, or explode in fury and feed the me me only me monster.
He is back in time out again and you would think he would give up realizing he has played his last trump. Nope. He realizes you are clinging to your faith to get through this. So… he starts reading in a Bible app and letting you see he is active in the app. You ignore him knowing those words will sting and evil shrinks from raw truth. But after weeks of seeing he is reading you accept an invite to a 7 day plan - and all is well. Or so you think. Who doesn’t want to guide the lost back to safety?
Of course as you as working to better yourself you can’t help but have trauma brain and want to vent in a discreet way. He reads your comments and though it’s veiled he knows it is somehow about him and receives it as an attack. He wins again. He is in your head AGAIN. He drops the apps as soon as he realizes the ruse succeeded. But not before he shares with other Christian’s that he is reading and to complete the illusion he will even show up to church of his mentor/sponsor.
It will be ground hog day over and over until you get a new unlisted number and go off grid. Many of them are OCD and will contact you 15 different ways to remind you they are still breathing. This latest narcissist is determined to never give up, but he will. They all get ignored, forgotten, replaced in the end.
How dare you think you can ignore The King of Chaos? You must think you are something special… Guess what? You are fearfully and wonderfully made… God be with you because there is nothing a narcissist hates more than a resolute Christ follower. Well he hates smokers too but I like to breathe so smoking is not an option. At least going to church doesn’t give you cancer yet.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-will-a-narcissist-do-when-you-finally-and-continuously-act-like-you-don-t-care-about-them-show-them-no-attention?topAns=1477743755881609
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:rofl:
I sure wish meme-makers could check their spelling and sh!t...
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:drama:
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We don’t associate narcissists with empathy or understanding of human feelings, so how do they react when they bother you? What goes through their mind when a narcissist sees you crying? Here are 13 things you can expect.
13 Things to expect when a narcissist sees you crying
“Narcissistic love rides a roller coaster of disaster with a heart full of tears.” – Sherri Griffin
Narcissists will not comfort you when you cry
Don’t expect a hug or cuddle from a narcissist when you cry. If they don’t take away your pain, they will feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. It’s a “lousy” thing for them to deal with.
They will not acknowledge your tears
When you cry, you distract the narcissist. You can yell, scream or scream as much as you want, but they won’t react. They will continue the conversation completely undisturbed, and go back to what they were doing before.
They accuse you of being too sensitive
Narcissists justify their destructive behavior by blaming you. You are very sensitive. You cannot accept a joke or constructive criticism. You should calm down and not offend.
They stare at you
Narcissists don’t experience emotions the way we do, so seeing you cry piques their curiosity. They stare at you as if you were a laboratory animal being experimented on. There is nothing behind their eyes. No emotion or feeling.
Some victims of narcissists describe the narcissist’s eyes turning black or looking dull. Others smile at your distress. Narcissists can make their partner cry over something they did, and feel no remorse while watching. It’s worrying.
They will ignore your tears
When a narcissist sees you crying, he will do his best to ignore your tears. They continue as if nothing happened. You might be dazed in the fetal position, and they’ll turn the TV up louder.
They will laugh at you
It is not unusual for narcissists to laugh at your plight. These are empty, emotionally devoid shells of people. Seeing you upset shows them that their tactics are working. Your tears feed their ego. It’s a fun experience for them. When you cry, they win.
They will say that you are crying just to manipulate the situation
“Often the narcissist believes that others are ‘faking it’, taking advantage of emotional displays to achieve a goal. He is convinced that their superficial ‘feelings’ are based on ulterior, unemotional motives.” -Sam Vaknin
Narcissists use crying as a tool of manipulation, so it’s no surprise that they think everyone else does too. They do not understand that tears mean sadness or sadness. It’s projection. They project their actions onto you. Yes, he would accuse me of manipulating him or trying to make him feel bad.
They make you cry for fear of accountability
Crying shows how upset or hurt we are. Narcissists worry that they will be revealed as a bad person. They minimize your feelings so they can get away with unacceptable behavior. If you cry for no good reason, you are not to blame.
They will underestimate you
For a narcissist, crying is a sign of weakness. However, they also consider it a good thing. They break you. You are surrendering to their controlling tactics. They affect you negatively.
This gives them a huge boost of power. They know that you are now under their spell, so they can go further.
They don’t understand why you’re crying
Narcissists don’t understand why people cry. They can’t relate what they did to your reaction. After all, it’s not about you. It’s all about them.
This is a sick, soulless person who has no conscience and no remorse. Narcissists may feel angry or upset with you for crying, but they do not feel the emotion behind the tears.
They get angry
“She could feel him, staring at her with a psychotic look in his eyes, reveling in her suffering, using it to fuel his next move.” – Aarti Manani
If being ignored won’t stop her crying, sometimes getting angry will do the trick. The narcissist will accuse you of crying to get attention or to avoid dealing with a problem. These are all things narcissists do, of course, so they associate them with you.
Narcissists know they use emotions as a tool for manipulation, but they get angry when they think you do too. It is impossible for them to understand that you are sad or upset.
They are turned on
Has your narcissistic partner tried to have sex while you were crying? Some narcissists are upset by your tears. Malignant narcissists are sadists who enjoy seeing you distraught.
However, there is also a condition called Dacryphilia which describes a person who becomes sexually aroused by the sight or sounds of crying. Crying or seeing others cry excites some people.
They will remind you all the time
When a narcissist sees you crying, he remembers it for future reference. They can then use it to humiliate you further. They will constantly remind you of a time when you were weak and re-traumatize you all over again.
There are some narcissists who deliberately bring up past traumas to comfort and comfort you. They can’t do it at the time because their focus is on enjoying the moment.
But once they have time to think about the situation, they realize they can use it to their advantage.
https://linside.store/what-happens-when-a-narcissist-sees-you-cry-13-disturbing-things-to-expect-2/
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I like to lie and deceive others.
Am I a narcissist?
Ron Culley
Not yet. Right now, you are a small child. Where are your parents?
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Well, we know you are a liar and cannot be trusted, but never mind. Just being deceiving liar who enjoys lying and deception doesn’t make you a narcissist. It just makes you untrustworthy, unreliable, not available to others as your true self.
The question is why? Why do you lie and deceive others and enjoy it?
Maybe you are in shame and self-hate and pretend to be someone, something else. You don’t fool yourself but you do fool others, and you like that little bit of satisfaction.
Maybe you’re a total loner and want people to stay away. The right kind of lies will accomplish that aim.
No idea if the question is real, or just another one of your alleged deceptions.
No matter. Just being a liar doesn’t make you a narcissist.
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Not necessarily.
Do you love yourself more than anybody else around you or in your life?
Do you put yourself above others in all situations?
Do you care more about your own happiness and enjoy controlling people around you and get mad when you can’t control them?
If not, then you are not a narcissist.
If you do enjoy all of the above, then yes. You are a narcissist.
https://www.quora.com/I-like-to-lie-and-deceive-others-Am-I-a-narcissist
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Do narcissists actually believe
their own lies, or are they just really
good at lying?
They do believe their own lies in that moment. Their entire world is the truth, and their “lies” are no exception. They suffer from one-mindness. However, they can also be very inconsistent with their “lies”.
One day they admit that they are racists, then 2 months down the line they declared that they never hate anyone in their entire life. One day, their mother is both meek and mild but on other days, when she had a mind set of a settee, he called her a beotch when she exerted some independence.
My point is that this inconsistent cycle of their character repeats itself again and again until the recipients becomes utterly confused by the unstable change in character. It did my head in until I became insane because I did not know WHO and WHAT he was as a person. He, even now, is still shrouded in enigma.
I no longer want to peek inside a narcissist’s head. It's a world that invokes insanity in the person who wants to draw them to the narcissist. Even their “lies” are inconsistent.
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I'm going to answer YES they do believe their lies and they are EXPERTS in lying, that's why they get so angry when you call them out on their lies and boy, you're in trouble now, but don't worry, narcissist will always come up with another way to lie or to get back at you for pointing out he's not as perfect as he thinks he is.
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Limerick. That’s a Narcissist. In all things they rewrite and fill in the blanks to suit them. Sometimes they know it’s a lie (gaslighting), sometimes they BELIEVE in their limericks. Either way, you’re screwed because it just won’t matter to them. Don’t expect truth here. It’s like trying to breathe underwater. Not going to happen, you’ll drown.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-actually-believe-their-own-lies-or-are-they-just-really-good-at-lying
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Why do narcissists bring up the only thing you have done wrong?
Ron Culley
Because I can’t do anything right. That’s what she told me anyways….
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They’ll bring up the only thing you did wrong, and they’ll also rewrite history to make things you didn’t do wrong (or do at all) into faults, and twist your words present day to make things you didn’t say wrong (or say at all) into faults. They’ll latch on to the real thing you did wrong, and twist and spin other things into things you did wrong, because they need this as ammunition.
Your real or made up wrongdoings:
give them ammo to attack your character
allow them to blame you for every mistreatment and wronging you’ve ever experienced from them, past or present
make it easier for them to project
make it easier for them to blame shift
make it easier for them to gaslight
make it easier for them to smear campaign
let them convince themselves that because you did something wrong, it puts you on an even playing field (or, in their minds, makes you worse) when it comes to all they’ve put you through, and means that everything they’ve ever tortured you with over the years is canceled out or doesn’t matter.
give them (in their minds, not in reality) free reign to do anything they want to you forever. They will genuinely believe that because you did this one wrong thing, they are entitled to harass you, stalk you, threaten you, push your pain point buttons, use your pain points to hurt you, try on purpose to make you panic (my ex outright admitted to me that he does this and will do it for the rest of his life), follow you, deploy flying monkeys, rewrite your entire history into things that it never was, rewrite your entire personality and character into things it isn’t (object constancy), inaccurately, incorrectly, and unfairly demonize your entire family comprised of wonderful human beings because they’re mad at one member, rewrite and spin what your family members have said too, call you back to back to back until you answer, corner you, falsely accuse you of things they know for a fact aren’t true, and try with all of their effort to break you and make you hate your life, the list goes on… and they’ll use the make believe wrongdoings in the same way.
The wrong thing you actually did will give them their strongest feeling of justification to do all of the above, but the non-wrongdoings they’ve rewritten will be used the same way.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-bring-up-the-only-thing-you-have-done-wrong
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These 7 Changes Would Wipe Out Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q9rwNWkncg
1. change reflex to control to desire to serve
2. Change indifference to conscientiousness: blend, reliability, curiosity, helpful, take initiative to inclusiveness
3. Change conniving to being open: authentic, accountable, safe, available
4. Change sense of agitation to respect: maintain dignity, be constructive, be civil, appreciate the value of all
5. Change binary thinking to analytical
6. Change judgmental thinking to descriptive
7. Change disdain for goodness to integrity
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The Hidden Evil Beneath Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQBxfEcwDrE
@autumnsmith3585
7 months ago
Honestly, no low is too low for them to stoop to. They're lowdown and dirty, and they will do anything to get what they want.
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What is a malignant narcissist?
A malignant narcissist is an extreme manifestation of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), characterized by a toxic combination of narcissism, antisocial behavior, aggression, and a complete lack of empathy. These individuals exhibit a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of regard for others' feelings or rights. What distinguishes malignant narcissism from the typical narcissistic traits is the presence of more severe and malicious behaviors, often leading to destructive and harmful outcomes for those around them.
One defining aspect of a malignant narcissist is their manipulative and exploitative nature. They use others for their own benefit without any remorse or guilt. They often possess a charming and charismatic facade that they use to manipulate and control people, seeking power and dominance in relationships and situations.
Additionally, these individuals often display a callous disregard for the well-being of others. They can be exceptionally cruel, enjoying the suffering or downfall of those they perceive as threats or adversaries. Their lack of empathy allows them to inflict emotional, psychological, or even physical harm on others without feeling any remorse.
Malignant narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance, believing they are superior to everyone else and deserving of special treatment. They demand constant admiration and validation, and any criticism or perceived slight can trigger intense reactions, leading to aggressive or vengeful behavior.
Their impulsivity, combined with a lack of remorse and empathy, can make them prone to engaging in risky or harmful behaviors without considering the consequences. This impulsivity can result in manipulation, deceit, and exploitation in both personal and professional relationships.
Overall, the term "malignant narcissist" encapsulates individuals who exhibit the core traits of narcissistic personality disorder but with heightened levels of malevolence, manipulation, aggression, and a pervasive disregard for the well-being of others. Their actions often cause significant harm and distress to those around them, making relationships with them challenging and often deeply damaging.
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Ugh…..a malignant narcissist has a terrifying sadistic streak, is manipulative, is aggressive, is paranoid, has no conscience, thinks they deserve to be treated like the gods/goddesses they think they are, and has little to no empathy. If you tell a malignant narcissist that you want to have nothing to do with them, they will turn around with a big smile on their face, run to maybe the police, and file a complaint against you stating that you were stalking them and that they want nothing to do with you.
Their revenge is painfully traumatic and immediate. They are the most damaging. They may, at first, come across as warm, intelligent, high functioning, charming, gracious, a great humanitarian, good manners even! They are in actuality the polar opposite of all the good things they like to embody. They will take all the things you say, or do, your gestures even, the way you dress, and mimic you.
It feels like they ripped your skin off and draped it over themselves, only no one can see what they have done except you. One more thing, the malignant narcissist who I know would sometimes stare at me in an intense manner with dead eyes….I cannot really put it into words….their face would be expressionless…their eyes looked like they had no soul. Their pupils would be enlarged to the point where it was hard to see their cornea. It was the most terrifying experience.
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These people will cut your throat and watch you bleed out and get off on it.
They will go behind your back and throw you under the bus every chance they get.
If you think for one second that you are on their team and that they have your interests at heart YOU ARE GRAVELY MISTAKEN.
They have absolutely no loyalty to anyone but themselves.
You will be discarded and destroyed just like everyone else.
Many so called “Leaders” are malignants.
If you pay any attention to these things (most of you don’t as you actually have lives) the doors are constantly revolving with these people. They can’t seem to stop the doors from revolving…new people constantly trying to please these black holes.
They are thrown away in the trash just like everyone else.
What is a malignant?
They are comorbid with ASPD (anti social personality disorder) which are psychopaths (psychopathy) and NPD (Narcisistic personality disorder). Which means they are essentially psychopaths but they need to be around people. They are also ultra paranoid and think that everyone is out to get them. So they plan, they plot to trip you up to destroy you first. Essentially they are baby demons that successfully convince people that they are Jesus.
They manipulate you and you haven’t a clue. You will be abused even if you have internal boundaries up. They will destroy any kind of wall you put up and you won’t have any idea how they did it. Unless you have had this experience you don’t truly understand what a complete mind flock it is.
Are you family? Wife, husband? Best friend? Oh my, well, count your days because you have no chance of escaping unscathed…It does not matter as they have no allegiance to anyone but themselves. They will set you up, watch you fall into a pit of cobras and completely get off on your screams, pain, torture and misery.
They absolutely live for this. Especially your death. My father when I went No Contact with him sent the police to my door. Do you think it was because he cared? Well, the truth is this HE DESPERATELY WANTED ME DEAD. He wanted to know that it was him that would have caused my suicide.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-malignant-narcissist?topAns=1477743726657189
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Why Chosen Ones Attract Most Hatred
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFd6HqMnc1U
@CrystalMouse1
1 month ago
I went to my Psychiatrist and therapist with "There must be something so unbelievably horrible about me for people to have such a reaction to me just living life! Do I have a personality disorder?"
Everyone said "No. You have unbelievable trauma and you make people uncomfortable because you're a light"
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Why do narcissists try to kill you?
My mother believes that my ex-narcissist (malignant narcissist) was trying to kill me.
I am not the type who gets sick, and when I was living with him, I was vomiting quite a lot, and no it wasn't morning sickness. I have always had horrible endometriosis and cannot have children.
This went on for quite a while, and it was very strange.
After he was gone, my mother found antifreeze.
Every night, because he went to "work," the narcissist used to make me green tea and other types of tea. I now believe he was poisoning me.
I recall that when he would set the tea down by my bedside, he was very attentive and even "affectionate," but only during that time.
He probably thought it was funny that he was putting antifreeze into my drinks while pretending he loved me.
The reason why narcissists try to kill you is to get rid of you, or to make you so sick that they can get away from you.
They also kill people for life insurance and material reasons.
In my case, even though the bastard convinced me to stay with him, he was playing a sick game with me and wanted to “win.”
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Let me tell you why:
They are shameless and have zero decency. Especially with OWN children.
They have little self control
They easily blow up like a volcano over the slightest of things
They envy normal human beings because they know they live at a much lower level than us. Lower level as in possibility of experiencing happiness.
The narcissist is always about self gain. Don’t dare come in the way or you will be easily wiped off planet Earth.
Narcissists love money. They don’t like to divorce but prefer the partner eliminated to get everything themselves.
If you are the scapegoat, watch out. You are a constant threat to the narcissist.
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Mine just smirked at me when I was groaning away with renal failure. Thank God for that little emergency button on the phone. That's the last thing I could do. The narc had gone into the bedroom and closed the door. When the ambulance came they scooped me off the couch and that's it.
The reason? I guess control of material stuff and new supply. Cold hearted .
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-try-to-kill-you
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What are weird habits of covert narcissist?
1. Muttering things under their breath, then claiming they didn’t say anything.
2. You can’t finish a story without them interrupting on how they’ve done better or suffered worse.
3. They walk ahead of you.
4. Blames their childhood or other people for their toxic behavior.
5. They don’t like sharing their things, happy to take yours.
6. They would rather impress strangers than care for their own family.
7. They avoid family occasions while blaming others for being a no show.
8. Their words do not match their action.
9. They stare at you.
10. They are weird about gift giving.
11. They are like chameleons.
12. They take credit for your ideas.
13. They act like they are strong but they also play the victim.
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If you point out a something that is bothering or affecting you, even if you do it politely, instead of taking it as “I did a mistake, I’ll try to do better” they take it as “I guess am a horrible person” so you back down I you feel bad for pointing it out in the first place.
Using self deprecation as a tactic to get constant validation from people around them.
They try to farm compliments all the time.
They use self-pity to manipulate you and get what they want from you (money, energy, time, regardless if it has a negative impact on you, regardless if is truly fair for you).
If you share something good that happened to you with them, they either diminish it, make it about themselves or passive-aggressively undermine your accomplishment.
They’re maliciously envious of other people, even the people who love them. If you are the target of their envy they would plot your downfall.
Inconsistent opinions about other people. One day a person is awful, the other day they’re actually “good”. They will do the same to you eventually.
If they go to therapy, most likely they lie about what happens there or they stop going the moment the therapist says something they don’t like. They think therapy exists to validate their distorted sense of reality.
https://narcissistabusesyndrome.quora.com/What-are-weird-habits-of-covert-narcissist-14?topAns=1477743754075773
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What are some things a narcissist
will never tell you about him/herself?
Narcissists won't tell you they are needy, insecure, selfish, parasitic, and weak individuals.
Narcissists won't tell you that you are lovable and better than them. Narcissists will never tell you that they are jealous of your qualities and behavior; they have come to destroy everything you have.
Narcissists won't tell you they need you more than you need them; they will replace you when they find a new person.
Narcissists won't tell you that they feel terrible, miserable, and unhappy inside; they hate you for who you are. Narcissists don't want you to know they don't have any good qualities; everything they do has motives.
Narcissists won't tell you; they have been faking everything to get you in a relationship and to continue a relationship with you.
Narcissists won't tell you they have been carrying out horrible activities behind your back, which they can't tell anyone.
Narcissists won't tell you they can't live without narcissistic supply; they wear masks only to gain narcissistic supply from everyone.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/What-are-some-things-a-narcissist-will-never-tell-you-about-him-herself?topAns=1477743755885154
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How does a narcissist react
when you threaten them?
A NPD does not react positively when they are threatened!
When you threaten to expose who they really are underneath the “mask” of perfection, you expose their secret to the outside world and it becomes a fighting war to them to protect that mask! They have to protect that “mask” at all costs to the world!
So the reaction that you will get is a Rage which is a two-year-old temper tantrum, adult style! Early in our marriage I realized my husband did not tell the entire truth to me only half truth which means he lied to me. Next thing I knew he was up in my face telling me he has never lied a day in his life and who was I to judge him.
Next thing I knew he shouted out to me that I was the real liar! I thought what is he talking about??? He had me so terrified that I just nodded my head just to get away from him. And I thought "what the heck happened just now???!?!?!?!!!!" This is a method they use to control you so that you will never bring up that topic again.
You need to understand they manipulate you to control and confuse you. They also NEVER loved you ever because they are incapable of ever loving you or anybody. Their sole purpose in having you in their life is to criticize you and put you down so that they feel good about themselves!
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Make no mistake, NPD is a disorder but it seems to be a diagnosis/phrase that it's getting thrown around a lot these days.
Supposedly NPD is on the rise at an alarming rate. Let's remember that we cannot diagnose our exes as actual narcissists because we are not doctors. At least I'm not. But it was the doctors, psychiatrist, the numerous and never-ending articles I read while I was doing my research and getting educated, ALL of the “this quiz is not a diagnosis” I took to see if I was a narcissist, if my friends were narcissists, my family members, to make sure that HE WAS a narcissist.
Was my mother a narcissist?! I knew there was something mentally wrong with her. I also knew growing up there was something mentally wrong with me as well. And now I know. I believe she was Bipolar. Absolutely suffered from depression. She could have been BPD for all I know. Back then nobody gave a shite if you were mental and weren't getting any treatment. They would just call you crazy and move on.
You weren't able to leave your narcissist because nobody believed you. Sometimes you didn't even believe yourself.
The brainwashing.
The trauma bond.
If somebody heard you were in therapy, counseling or separated from your spouse, you were automatically crazy. Nut House crazy the kids would say. Now depression/anxiety and mental disorders are being recognized as symptoms of mental abuse.
It seems like it is looked at like everyone is suffering from it.
You can be upset about a situation in your life and get really sad and not be depressed. You have to be clinically diagnosed. And depression can sometimes only last a few months, depending on the person and the situation.
A diagnosis will usually involve circumstances that have been occurring most of your life or long-term. Nobody knew what NPD even was back then. I didn't even know what it was until a year ago. And then after the discard, while I was going through the worst pain ever, I educated myself about it. It became my new obsession instead of the pain I was feeling.
Now I know everything there is to know pretty much. And I still haven't made a dent in the research. All those quizzes I took with different perspectives to see if any of my ex-boyfriends were narcissists. Turns out my first, original narcissist was a 5-year relationship I had when I was 18!l. I had no clue. (this is all the crazy stuff I did when I wasn't curled up in a ball, crying my eyes out and wanting to die while I was trying to break my trauma bond) etc. All of that was worth it but a lot of people are struggling with mental disorders right now. More so than ever before.
I have a feeling that narcissism has a lot to do with that. Yes, it's just my opinion which I am entitled to, but I think the fact that narcissism is running rampant right now and is being recognized much quicker and by more people than it ever has been before, I think these narcissistic a*sholes are the reason some of us have disorders and are mentally disabled.
Putting up with their sh!t all these years! I truly believe that. At least we're getting help and we're in therapy for our issues. They don't give a jack sh!t! They're never going to be well.
EVER.
It took a while but I may finally start to pity the narcissist instead of despise them. Maybe. And hopefully someday you will get there too.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-react-when-you-threaten-them?topAns=81721653
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:chocdip:
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Why do narcissists constantly lose friendships?
:banana: :rofl: :lmao: :lol: :roflmao: :crayfish:
Many reasons, which all boil down to one essential characteristic: a narcissist is only focused on his/her gratification. If they think they can get it from you, they’ll pursue you as a friend or romantic partner or colleague. Once they’ve established a bond (ie, ensnared you in their web), they proceed to drain you, and when you’re empty, or when you’ve figured them out and confronted them, or when you tell them “no”…then you’re no longer useful, and you get thrown on the trash heap.
Overnight, you become no one to them, and they move on to the next target, who they’ve been grooming behind your back for ages. They always knew it was just temporary; just until they were outed as the horrifying parasites they are, or until they’d taken everything from you. Including your soul.
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A narcissist always has to have some kind of supply once they can’t get it they detach themselves rather quickly from their friends. That is one of the reasons they lose their friends. Another way is that grandiose image they have to be the center of attention.
Treating their friends like property rather then being a true friend.
In plain English they screw their friends and manipulate them as well.
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Narcissists push their need for supply to the extreme, while also undercutting their supply. Then they blame the target for removing supply from them.
Basically they lash out at their friends and act surprised and indignant when those friends decide to stop talking to them.
Take a teenager for instance. They want independence, but they also want you to be there for them. If you don’t help them, they are insecure and lash out, and if you DO help, they yell at you to leave them be because they yearn for independence. You can get away with it while you are a child, not when you are a young adult. Young adults who grow up move on and become functional adults, while narcissists stay behind and complain that they were victimized by people who achieved maturity.
A narcissist is like a teenager, and some people never grow out of it because of how deeply insecure they are.
For instance, a covert narcissist has lost my friendship, my sympathy, my help and my supply recently.
I’m in Law school and I’m helping the younger students. Not in a tutoring capacity, but like helping classmates with classes I already aced in which they are struggling. I do it out of the goodness of my heart, and because it’s nice to have friends. I don’t expect thanks, and I get something out of it: I’m ADHD and it’s a kind of body-doubling for me to help someone (i.e., I can annul my symptoms).
The narcissist in question begs me to help him every week at the same time, on Tuesday nights, before his weekly paper is due. Then each time I offer him to study at the library with a group I set up, he declines and says he’s got it this time.
He trolls the Whatsapp group chats asking people to basically write his paper for him, and he moves on to the next supply to write the next paragraph. He thinks people are Google or ChatGPT. There is a general chat for the whole promotion, and a private chat for our little study group. And then there are one-to-one interactions.
But the other day, after an exam, I gave my own outline of the paper I thought would fetch a good mark. This particular guy then came onto the general chat, and said enough already, we went through the whole thing, WE KNOW HOW TO WRITE AN ESSAY, PFFF. STOP STRESSING US WITH THINGS OF THE PAST, NOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE.
First thing, it’s mid-term, so the topic will definitely pop up again. Discussing it is of interest for everyone, and unlike in Humanities, all of Law School serves for professional use later, so if you don’t get it now, you’ll be in trouble later on.
Second, I was addressing the whole group that’s dedicated to such discussions. You don’t tell people to stop talking to each other just because you don’t want to take part, like WTF.
Thirdly, he is always asking for help and has benefitted from my help on numerous occasions, and yet he built up a YOU-vs-US rethoric, that is typical of moral harassment.
I’m helping him with his homework and he’s thanking me with moral harassment and public humiliation.
That is one big narc baby.
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Narcissists often find themselves in a cycle of gaining and losing friendships, a pattern deeply rooted in their behavior and interpersonal dynamics.
Initially, they can be incredibly charming, well-groomed, and seemingly lead an enviable life, often portrayed through glamorous social media posts. This allure can make people feel special and honored to be considered a friend of such an individual. However, the initial charm and allure of a narcissist often mask a more complex and problematic reality.
Once a narcissist feels they have 'hooked' someone into their circle, the dynamics of the relationship often change dramatically. They may start to show less consideration and empathy towards their friends. The focus in the relationship shifts predominantly to their needs, desires, and issues, with little regard for the other person's feelings or boundaries. They might begin to demand more attention and validation, becoming upset or retaliatory if they don't receive the level of admiration they feel entitled to.
Over time, the narcissist's friends may start to feel more like an audience or a source of narcissistic supply rather than equal partners in a friendship. The narcissist may use manipulation tactics such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or belittling to maintain control and keep their friends around. These behaviors can be emotionally draining and damaging for those on the receiving end.
As the true nature of the relationship becomes apparent, many friends may choose to distance themselves to protect their well-being. The narcissist's inability to form and maintain healthy, reciprocal relationships often leads to a pattern of short-lived friendships. Despite their outward appearance and initial charm, the core issue lies in their self-centered approach to relationships and lack of genuine empathy for others.
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They are terrible, immoral, pathological, non-empathetic, soulless, disordered Creatures, walking around in human husks, and pretending to be normal! Oddly enough, that’s not why they lose friendships though.
They Don’t lose friendships, because they don’t have friends to begin with. Narcissists have opportunities and transactions with people. They can pretend, and they love make-believe, but there’s never any love, attachment, friendship, respect, care, bond, etc…
Everybody is just an Object that’s allowed to play a small role in the narcissist’s life, and only as long as we serve them in some way. Once a narc has taken everything they want and need, we no longer serve any purpose, and are quickly trashed and replaced. They can’t and don’t see anyone as a real person. We are all just as important to a narcissist as a chair or a toaster is. Are you and your toaster good friends?
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There are two main reasons why narcissists lose friendships:
The narcissist’s looming fear of being judged causes them to interpret harmless, constructive criticism as personal attacks. As a defense mechanism, they kick their perceived attackers out of their life.
Narcissists have a track record of falling-outs and burned bridges, leading to loneliness and depression.
Narcissists believe they are sweet, lovable, honest, empathetic people living in a world full of judgmental, narcissistic, intolerant, apathetic fakes. They project everything negative about themselves onto others, and it simply drives people away.
:tello: "Utility over Humanity".
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-constantly-lose-friendships
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What do you say when a narcissist asks if you’re okay?
:tello: Or, in the alternative "How are you doing?" Keep reading....
Ron Culley
Of all the noise I heard spewed from her pie hole, that was not one of them.
There was this one time (all the time), she shouldda asked me “How are you doing?”
But no, I get “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
Transpose the demeanor.
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Don't respond and don't react. No response is the best response. Narcissists don't care about your feelings, narcissists are bothered about how much you have been affected by their behavior.
For narcissists everything is about your reaction and the way you respond. The more you are sad and angry, the more narcissist feels better. The more you react, the more narcissist proves you crazy in front of everyone. Narcissist feels great when you are affected by them. It makes them feel good, powerful and in authority.
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You say “All is well" and do not expand. What they are trying to do is what I call.. Fish.
They know when they upset you and if you tell them you're upset…Bingo! They love it even more. They will then turn it around and gaslight you. …Ex: Why are you upset when you're the one who did…? … They are the one who you hurt, after everything they've done for you… You're so sensitive, making a big deal out of nothing…
Don't ever give them fuel to make a fire. Grey rock them.
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Say very little
Allow your behavior to speak for itself.
My response would be short and simple.
Fine thank you. And continue on my way.
I would avoid eye contact and pretend to answer a text or phone call, Laugh heartily! And continue on my way!
https://www.quora.com/What-do-you-say-when-a-narcissist-asks-if-you-re-okay
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Why does a narcissist ask “how are you doing”?
They dont give a damn how your doing. Its probably just so you ask them how they are. That way they can start a Conversation about themselves. That's all that matters to them.
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Just to see if they can get you to engage with them. They never listen to me completely……they NEVER CARE HOW YOU ARE DOING.
EVER.
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How are you doing? Are you doing ok?
Please tell me if there is anything bothering you.
I would love to hear about your worries and problems, so I can plan the best way of weaponising this information against you.
If I know what bothers you and makes you feel down, then I can use that information as a tool to control your mood and emotions, and therefore control you.
And the best part is, by asking how you are doing, I am coming across as a caring and considerate person. Who has your best interests in mind.
I come across as a nice and caring person, while gathering ammunition to take you down, it really suits me. How lovely. I can't lose.
That's where the narcissist is coming from, when they ask how you are doing.
They just wont say it. It's up to you to be smart before sharing information about yourself.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-ask-how-are-you-doing
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What are some examples of horrible things done by narcissists?
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-examples-of-horrible-things-done-by-narcissists
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Do narcissists criticize
their partners constantly?
Ron Culley
You bet! And I have the nightmares and battle scars to prove it.
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Absolutely yes. Narcissists criticize their partners to make them feel worthless and valueless. Narcissists want to show they are better than you in every field. The main motive of narcissists is to gain control, authority, and power over their spouses.
Once partners of narcissists start doubting themselves, it becomes easier for narcissists to control them. Another reason for criticism is to regulate their self-esteem. Getting narcissistic supplies from you in the form of reactions and responses makes narcissists feel powerful in relationships.
Narcissists will erode your self-esteem and destroy your confidence. Constant criticism from narcissists will make you dependent on their validation.
Narcissists want to show you that you are responsible and accountable for whatever is wrong in a relationship.
https://spiesliesnpdabusehealing.quora.com/Do-narcissists-criticize-their-partners-constantly?topAns=1477743755932056
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Will a covert narcissist call
the police on you?
Ron Culley
Any Brand-Name Narc will do it. Why should it just be the Covert Narc? They are all Batshit Crazy and have no regard for reality and everybody in it. Calling the cops is their final hand at one-ups-manship in the Battle of The Wits behind enemy lines. They will do ANYTHING to get their (sick, twisted) way, including performing “favors” on them.
Abusing the Law is their BIG GUN from their bag of tricks.
When the Heat is on, I either get a Lawyer or BE a Lawyer. It’s always 50/50. Gamble with your life wisely.
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Yes.
It's free to do so and unfortunately no consequences when using such a freedom to do so.
Their goal at the time? Maybe you'll learn your lesson in complying with whatever far out rules they demand of you.
"Stay away" until…..I call you, summon you, want to see you, approach you.
"Stay away", you're messing up my new life, potential for my new relationship….my narrative.
An argument they not only can't reasonably win may end up in a call to the police with a story of assault, something that ends up in a "win".
Ali it takes is a scratch, folks, and your world will be upside down. That "scratch" could be self administered.
They won't return your stuff, a back and forth to get it or texts, emails they initiate in keeping you available but thrown away at the same time.
Come over one day, a few days later, "I never want to see you again" in cycles until you may find yourself fighting a restraining order, order of protection.
Any of these scenarios are possible and most will be very costly to you in more ways than one.
Still confused about the "connection" you share? You may have been through a destructive wringer, most don't know how bad it can get in a snap.
I never had the police called personally but the threat would make me run.
I would show up at her job as she is leaving, unannounced (I was wrong). Sometimes met with hugs and kisses, my intentions to sit have a drink or eat together, sometimes welcomed and wanting to sit.
One day and what I did wasn't frequent by any means, I was met with great anger and threats to call the police….I didn't return or reach out.
Two days later, a request for my presence at her home, she wants to make me dinner and "hang". I went wanting to forget what threats she made and anything could have happened. There were times I was requested to show up only to be threatened when I did.
Is a narcissist limited to the type of, amount of punishment you aren't even considering?
Anything goes, nothing ruffling their feathers in doing so.
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Flock yeah they will! And rightly so. Have you seen the way you “react” to their abuse? I mean, it’s some academy award winning sh!t, not your anger and reaction, but their manipulation.
You will do everything in your power to hold back from beating the flock out of them. They will push you to that extreme. You will begin to think jail is worth one flocking throat punch.
A punch you’d throw with instant regret, then crave, and beg as you apologize as they smirk and grasp control. Not of the situation, but of you.
Remember that academy award winning performance I spoke of? Here it comes when the cops show up, that’s if you are stupid enough to stick around. And if you are dealing with a female covert, I’m sorry, just go ahead and put the handcuffs on yourself.
They’d suck the cops dick if they had to to get you arrested. Exactly what Ron Culley said.
Try and maintain calmness when the law shows up, because that’s your only hope. But you and I both know that’s impossible. You are in such a rage the law doesn’t scare you, what’s festering inside of you needs to be released.
On your way to jail, you will being pondering your “reaction” in back of the patrol car. You will begin to feel guilt, and almost believe you over reacted.
Then you start to miss them.
You get to the jail, and with your one call, you use it to apologize to the one person who has cheated, lied, betrayed, and pushed you to the brink of insanity.
You’re defeated. You are sorry, and don’t know why.
They ignore your call, and there you sit.
Waiting to post bail to repeat a cycle not many escape.
Next time you might snap and hit them.
Think about that.
Are they worth it?
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Hell yes. It’ll be their justification. Don’t do it. Walk way. They are a waste of space.
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Y E S.
A covert narc will spend their time building a smear campaign against you. Calling the police for safety checks, claiming you assaulted them, that you are scaring them, that you are a monster, that you’ve always been a monster, etc.
Grandparents will sue for a right to visit their grandchildren, etc.
See Karen ? Narcissists. They call the police.
https://www.quora.com/Will-a-covert-narcissist-call-the-police-on-you
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What happens
when a narcissist realizes he
is a narcissist?
Well as a recovering narcissist, I can tell you that it sucks. All my life I though everyone was the problem. After a series of unfortunate events I realized that it was me. I was a compulsive liar, I thought there were no consequences for my actions, I mentally and emotionally manipulated all to get whatever I wanted. My romantic relationships suffered the most. That’s where the beast really thrived.
All in all it sucks to know that it’s been you all along, but that’s when you really start to live. When I was finally able to see that it was MY FAULT I was having a miserable life and not others, I started doing research. Years on years on years of research and most importantly, I found God. I was able to fix a lot of what went wrong.
I was able to trace everything back to specific moments in my childhood, and I found that a lot happened to me, and the suppression lead to me being a narc. Also my mother is a full blown stage 12 narcissist. So I learned from the best.
I literally had to go through a mental breakdown that landed me in the psych ward for a few days while fixing myself. It was almost as if my brain couldn’t deal with me shedding all that trauma, wickedness and heartlessness in such a short period of time.
In there I wasn’t medicated or anything I just laid in bed thinking, how did I get here. That’s when the trauma tracing started and I solved it, by the grace of God. I shared a lot of my traumas, and Sins with random people, and just being able to utter the words made me feel free.
It felt like a reset. But for the first time in my life I feel alive. I want to sing, dance, eat, and just all around live. And I guess I can’t explain the freedom I feel.
My case is not like every other narcs though. Everyone is different. I still catch a lot of my narc traits showing up. And it’s a lot of work making sure I never revert back to what I was. I try to use it to help others when I can.
I Hope that answered you question.
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A narcissist’s hypersensitivity to perceived criticism makes them sense negative judgement coming from people even when it isn’t. Therefore the emotional pain they feel is everyone else’s doing, and not their own. They see themselves as loving, empathic, innocent people being unjustly judged and attacked by hostile enemies. A person who possesses this warped view of their situation cannot see themselves as a narcissist. In their mind, all those enemies are the narcissists.
If you explain to a narcissist that they are a narcissist, they’ll vehemently deny it and deflect the accusation back onto you. Only a reformed narcissist, who has taken the steps and time to rebuild their self-esteem, can understand and admit they were a narcissist.
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It’s terrible.
I would equate the experience to being raised in a religious home, living a faithful/religious life, and then one day coming to the conclusion that none of it is real.
This was my experience, and it was terrible. I remember shaking my head to get the thought/realization out, but it kept coming back. That lasted about a day until I gave in to the understanding. And then I spent weeks reliving my young adult life, really seeing who I’d been.
I was/am embarrassed and ashamed of how I treated people, the way I thought about people, the way I thought about myself, and that everyone around me was completely aware that I was a psycho-calligraphic masterpiece-from-hell. I knew I had problems, but finding out how really broken I was was humiliating.
It’s been 25 years since that happened. As much as I’ve monitored myself and made progress, I have definitely experienced periods of remission. The stresses of marriage and parenting were more than I could handle while staying aware. So I’m definitely still working on it.
The best thing I’ve learned is to listen to my family when they bring up the past, acknowledge my behavior, and apologize/express regret for the impact it had.
The most recent revelation/issue, is the realization that I don’t seem to have a sense of self. I behave consistently on a day to day basis, I have a job, and my husband says he experiences me as “solid” (as opposed to chameleon-like), but I can’t see myself.
This has come up because I’ve recently been trying to identify my enneagram number. I’ve taken tests, spent a great deal of time reading books/articles and listening to podcasts. And I’m all over the place…. I see myself in nearly every number. The tests yield inconsistent results, and I hate taking them because they ask questions involving self observation.
After months of this, I’ve finally realized I can’t see myself. It seems like I’m “in there”, but I can’t see me. I feel like the best I can do is to experience myself vicariously via a consistent life with family, friends, jobs, & routines. These things allow me know how I behave, but not who I am.
So that’s where I’m at.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-realize-they-are-narcissists-I-accused-him-and-he-went-balistic
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Do narcissists realize when you’ve finally had enough?
Oh yes they realize it by how you act, how you react to their childishness and foolishness, your attitude in general, you start calling to them out on their crap, being unfazed by their attempts to grab control and annoy you. They notice all of that, it angers them because what you are doing is conflicting with their false self, swinging at their ego.
They will either rage at you to reestablish control over what's happening which can turn violent depending on the narcissist. Or they will discard you and probably seek revenge on you how they see fit for having the balls to be fed up with them in the first place.
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No! They always assume that you will “get over it” in a timely manner - so that they can do it to you again (or something like it, or worse).
Here’s an example: after 30+ years of marriage, I FINALLY busted him for serial cheating and pathological lying. I was finishing up my class (I was teaching at the time) and preparing to leave him as soon as it was over. He had the nerve to say to me: Geez, it’s been two weeks! I thought you’d be over this by now.” Literal quote!
This is how they think. That what they do is ALWAYS forgivable, but if you just sneeze the wrong way, they get to PUNISH you for as long as they choose. When I asked him how he could live w/himself…he told me he has an “Etch-A-Sketch” in his head, and all he has to do is go to sleep and it’s gone in the morning. YOU have to make it clear you’ve had enough. YOU need to document everything they do. And YOU need to expose them to everyone for what they do.
Narcissists are spoiled, selfish, self-absorbed, angry, NEEDY, ungiving and unloving, toddler brats in an adult body! And unlike most children, they do NOT learn to be better…but they sure do learn how to lie and cheat better - the more they get away with something, the further they push the boundaries.
If you’ve had enough, your only recourse is to LEAVE if you have the resources to do so…they rarely get better.
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Narcissists may struggle to recognize or understand when someone has had enough of their behavior. Their focus is often on their own needs and desires, and they may have difficulty empathizing with others.
It's important to set clear boundaries and communicate openly about your needs in relationships with narcissistic individuals. However, it's also important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from friends, family, or professionals if you're dealing with a challenging relationship.
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They know but they are in denial. Since they have this narrative going on that they are perfect and perfectly reasonable, they will probably blame other people for trying to make you think like that about the narc.
The response is usually anger and threats in a pathetic attempt to regain control - unfortunately, that is their default way of trying to deal with a situation instead of using a cool head. That is the way they live their lives, trying to control, raging and seething when unable to, and wallowing in self-pity when caught out.
The sad thing is they never pause to think that the fault may lie with them and the way they treat their loved ones. That does not fit with their narrative and even if they know deep inside that they are not doing the right, it is a fleeting thought at best and the mask that they are perfect and everyone else is a fool falls back firmly in place.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-realize-when-you-ve-finally-had-enough?topAns=1477743755974465
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At what point will a narcissist
realize they can no longer
control you?
Losing control of gaining our immediate emotional attention will cause any narcissist sharp pain. Unable to reel us back in quickly brings any narcissist sheer panic. Give any narcissist no/low contact and now your the devil.
Narcissists believe they can end any game (person/object) with winning (destroy/kill).
Narcissists are masters at patience when moving in for the kill. Underestimating our narcissist will be our doom. Narcissists never think they no longer control you. At present time, during your no/low contact, the narcissist will believe he/she will outlast and outsmart you. It may be 7 years later, when you least expect it, that they reappear hoping you will let your guard down for the chance at controlling you again.
Narcissists believe they are superior to everyone. Believing a narcissist would accept defeat and move on is total rubbish.
They are like thieves that hide behind bushes, stalk and obsess over us in order to attack us when we least expect it.
Never stop anticipating a narcissists return.
They have to win to end the game.
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When you truly give up trying to make them happy and trying to get through to them. When the switch finally flips and you fully understand and realize that you will never appease them and you stop trying. When you only listen to their provocative statements and you stop “leaping into action”.
When you finally lose all hope and you really, truly give up. They lose their leverage. The chain slips off of the gears. They sense it immediately. They panic. They might try to reassert control for a while, but unless you develop some toxic, renewed hope, it’s too late. And that’s where it ends.
A narcissist will realize he/she’s lost control when they ACTUALLY have. You can’t fake it.
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When you are completely done, no contact and no longer care about what they do or don’t do. As long as you are fighting with them, arguing, calling them names, talking to them in any form (text, e-mail, Facebook) they know they still have control over you. Why? Because they do! Think about it; if you truly no longer care about them why do you respond to their 5 year old mentality. Why are you, a normal grown ass adult, still debating a 5 year old spoiled brat? As long as you do, they are in control.
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Your question is an example of how a person abdicates his power to someone else: you are waiting for someone else to relinquish control instead of taking it back and owning it. He’ll know he can no longer control you when you start taking control of yourself. He won’t give it up; you have to take it back.
Make a point of showing your independence and then stick to it. No Contact. Learn to say No and mean it. Stop caring about what he thinks, says or does.
You have to stop thinking in terms of how he controls you, and start thinking in terms of taking control of yourself. Once you do that - take control of yourself - he will not be able to control you. But you have to step up to the plate and take control of yourself, otherwise you are handing it over to someone else.
https://www.quora.com/At-what-point-will-a-narcissist-realize-they-can-no-longer-control-you
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:mobbing:
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Can you manipulate a narcissist?
Oh yeah, totally! I figured out a cool trick to get what I want - reverse psychology. Basically, instead of asking for something directly, I do the opposite or act like I don't really care about it. Like, if I wanted my brother to close the garage door, I would pretend like I didn't care and then he would do it.
Or if I needed something from the store, I wouldn't ask him directly, I would wait for him to ask me what I wanted and then he would get it for me. It's like a secret way to get people to do what you want without them even realizing it. So sneaky, right?
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Absolutely. Narcissistic types crave control, attention, and in my experience, respect. They desperately want to be seen a certain way by those outside the house. Whether it's playing the victim, bragging, ect. Whatever it takes to hide or justify their behaviour. Public persona can be very important to them.
My Narcissist, we'll call him Mark, was literally brought down like this. He was a devil behind closed doors, but an angelic figure to the public. All the time I'd have people telling me “how lucky I was” to have him in my life…No thanks.
Most effective methods are for starters, phase them out. They love nothing more than feeling important, gotta keep that ego fed. Deprive them of that. Keep busy, DONT adhere and cave to their whims because they are pushing them on you. Always make it seem like you have something to do that's more important, ’cause let's be honest, anything is more important than wasting time with a narc.
If they still aren't getting the message, then jolt their public reputation. I made recordings of his behaviour. His real attitude towards those he claimed were friends, his real attitude towards his family. Then I played it to one rather well known gossip whilst “drunk” in the local pub, and left it there.
Within the week I had people coming up to me telling me they had no idea he was truly like that. His friends engaged with him a LOT less. People starting calling him out on his grand stories, picking out the plot holes in them.
Now a warning here, a lot of narcs don't like being challenged, and some can resort to extreme, and sometimes unsettling methods to regain control. With Mark, it was the threat of violence and taking over the finances. So do what you can to establish independence beforehand if you're deeply involved with them. Separate accounts, make sure what's yours should stay yours, and if need be, ALWAYS contact the police if you feel youre in danger.
My little narc story ended with him going to court and getting named and shamed in the local news. It was a hard slog to deal with him, and I'm talking years. But eventually he was so shamed he had to leave the area. But it is possible.
But the best advice - if you smell a narc, stay away!! If you have even the tiniest suspicion about their behaviour, get out. Even insignificant things, like love-bombing. They smother you with attention, then take it away when they can't get their own way. Trying to change you to suit them, convincing you that their ideas are better ect.
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You just need to pretend to be someone you're not.
Someone tougher.
More aggressive.
More cheerful.
I say aggressive as it's crucial to keep momentum up, to maintain high energy, to keep things moving in the direction you want them to go. To let the narcissist dictate the direction for too long will lead to abuse.
The energy you expend in emotional display feeds the narcissist. It's good to do this because they love it. Acting impressed makes you someone they want to deal with, because you make the feel good. Simple creatures are our narcissists, so if you can bring a suitable gift of food or something else small, it helps to grease the ratwheel that spins constantly in their mind.
Acting like this is draining and so you must keep the interaction short. Run out of energy and you will blow your cover.
You'll need to make a character the narcissist will like, but not too much.
I suggest someone optimistic, foolish, constantly on the move, and strangely bulletproof.
What the narcissist wants to do is isolate you, and abuse you.
What you want to do is extract goods or services from the narcissist.
You are going to let the narcissist abuse this character a little, in exchange for the goods and services. If they abuse you too much, you can use the character to innocuously stand on their little fingers and toes just before you leave.
How do you let the narcissist abuse you? You must be awed by their knowledge and or superiority. You praise the impressive things they have done.
However, you do this in a fearless and high energy way. You are playing inferior here, so you cannot afford to let things slow down too much, or you will get that old familiar sinking feeling as they begin to maul you.
Get in first, maul them with your enthusiasm.
The difference here from how you normally behave is that you're not being a filthy *mpath who just wants some nasty narcsex, you are a smooth operator looking out for you and yours, taking care of your Goal.
If you do not have a good or service that you want — do not engage! We do not talk to narcissists for fun, or to be social. We only ever manipulate and use them.
It is important to pull back, and not allow the abuse to begin in earnest. It is incredibly easy to hurt narcissists' feelings once you've slipped into character, as you praise them they become grandiose, and display their corpulent belly, they leave unguarded their turkey neck.
Being someone stupid and cheerful allows you to give them an accidental elbow if you need to, or to cheerfully accept putdowns, because you're just being fake and phony anyways.
Always leave when things get heavy, the last thing you want to hang around and let the narcissist maul you until you break character and rage. The best way to ensure your safety is to always have somewhere else to go, something else to do.
Happy manipulating, campers!
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-manipulate-a-narcissist?topAns=1477743755971903
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:tello: "word".
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What SIGMA EMPATHS Do
That Narcissists Hate
In this video, we delve into the intriguing dynamic between narcissists and sigma empaths, exploring why narcissists often lose interest in sigma empaths. By understanding the manipulative tactics and mind games that narcissists play, sigma empaths can empower themselves to break free from toxic relationships and maintain their emotional well-being. Tune in to gain valuable insights into this complex relationship dynamic and learn how to protect yourself from falling victim to narcissistic behavior.
Stay informed, stay empowered.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azzIYXB83jY
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What is the surest way to
destroy a narcissist?
Let's think about this question for a moment.
If you have a car that has been totalled due to being in a horrible accident years ago, would you be thinking of ways to destroy it?
Just like a totalled vehicle, Narcs are already destroyed inside since childhood for whatever reason/s. You can not destroy someone who is already destroyed.
Instead, focus your energy on getting yourself back to a better state of mind.
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You don't have to do a thing to destroy a Narcissist. Just let them live their life. They will destroy themselves eventually…and everyone who tries to be part of their life.
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You can destroy narcissist, but not the way you think. Heal, live well, move forward, accomplish your goals, live your best life. Narcissists hate when you are doing better than them, or better without them. When you are doing good it's insult for narcissists . It drives them crazy.
If they are the ones that left you, they can not handle if you are doing great without them. Some Narcissists. will literally try to find out how doing to reassure themselves that you still want them.
Your good life can literally destroy narcissists ego, so live life in very healthy way by being happy and successful.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-surest-way-to-destroy-a-narcissist
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:crazy:
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:tello: "Real People, REAL Problems. A facebook post..."
Expose Corruption, Civil Rights Violations, Judges, Cps
Teresa Alison
10m ·
The worst situation is knowing exactly how the corruption works after working in the system. When we have mentally ill pedophiles, addicts & abusive lawyers & social workers in your family - we know what's going on, they destroy our credibility with fake accusations, literally murder our parents & children.
We cry out for help watching ourselves being eaten alive.
Crickets ...
Don't just go after one sadistic social worker nor lawyer liar leech. They are all in on it. They know how it works and either cash in, or turn a blind eye. It's female abusers doing the dirty work. Unelected officials making decisions beyond their pay grade.
Start with the mental health of those in the system. I used to be a director of Psych Halfway House - the social workers and lawyers involved were mentally ill, not the clients. It's a for profit system - like 90% of UNICEF funds going to corrupt government bureaucrats - using 10% to barely keep a population alive so they can continue to collect the funding.
My sister steals children for a living. She went berserk on fertility meds trying to conceive. Tried to kill her ex husband so he couldn't leave her. Now she carries out her illness taking away your babies & training Massachusetts lawyers to do the same. They can literally reach over state borders to steal children.
The other sister is a pedophile working in Maine Social Services. She'll get your child drunk and have her way with them. She's been doing it for over 50 years. Has a record of buying alcohol for minors- caught on camera. Instead of prosecuting, they gave her a job in social services doing case management for disabled children. They pay to abuse children & create more victims.
If a parent complains? They take away the child.
When working for Child Development Services in Maine screening children 0-5 for developmental delays, we were instructed to automatically open case files for all children in Head Start who had divorced or single moms raising kids on their own. Anyone with a boyfriend, adult male family around we left alone, even when there were clear signs of bruises and physical abuse.
My boss called women raising children on their own "The path if least resistance" our job was to open case files to get federal funding or take them down if they resist.
All we do is point calling her a drug addict that beats her kids- and that becomes her reputation for the rest of her life. Can't get a job wiping noses at a daycare or nursing home with those types of charges in your life.
It's literally murder of a human life.
We become reluctant whistleblowers just trying to protect ourselves.
White female parents of multiracial families become the whipping post for society...
And the rest of the country drinks the Kool Aid.
We don't protect ex-legal secretaries and social workers who refuse to go along with the corruption.
Then, on paper, they mysteriously become drug addicts that beat children.
Calling it "Women & Children" issues get boys to run the other way.
It starts with your local school board selling out our children to get a new staff lounge & raise school taxes to get more funding to corrupt teachers union - who are also paid to steal our children.
Since when did we allow social workers into our public schools? They're paid to find and create problems - their jobs depend on it.
We tried warning the world 30+ years ago. The government is coming for your kids.
The new HIPPA laws are actually assisted suicide. They're literally killing our children. Now lawyers are going to cash in on the corruption?
Don't listen to ex lawyers, legal secretaries, nor social workers who gave up their job security to stand up against corruption - we tried to protect your children.
You didn't protect us.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/218751992264030/?multi_permalinks=1666811524124729%2C1666820147457200%2C1666857144120167¬if_id=1713999047323599¬if_t=group_activity&ref=notif
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How are narcissists created?
What makes a narc a narc?
Some studies have shown that most narcissistic personalities are present from birth. Different people are born with different psyche and different characters. Some are more relaxed and tolerant, while others are more complicated, problematic, and cold.
From day one, a narcissist already has certain tendencies and inclinations towards specific, dysfunctional, and abnormal behaviours - he is programmed this way. The narcissist is configured to have a need for control, to have a demanding attitude, and to believe that he deserves everything there is .
It’s genes. It’s genetic, it’s in his DNA.
In some people, it is passed down from generation to generation and is clearly visible for several generations, also among siblings. These traits and character were passed on to the narcissist by his parents, but they can also be shaped by the way he was raised, by his surroundings, family, environment and the way he was treated. A narcissist may have experienced unimaginable and traumatic things in his childhood, which has resulted in his development being stunted and impaired.
These may include various types of neglect, physical, mental and emotional abuse, lack of acceptance, lack of love. The parent could demand more and criticize until the child finally realized that this was how it had to be.
Perhaps the child was not given as much attention as he should have been, was left alone, as a result of which child acquired very low expectations and learned not to worry about anything or anyone.
The child may also have been taught that superficial and shallow things are important. A narcissist may have been taught in his youth that money, success, or appearance were qualities that would make him accepted.
Maybe he was given an example of rich people who lie to get what they want, such role models could be wealthy, beautiful, seemingly perfect people. It was here that the narcissist formulated his hopes and ambitions and where he was heading.
A narcissist may be a narcissist because he was treated erratically and inconsistently by his parents, perhaps the parent used sporadic reinforcement, perhaps the parent suffered from the same or a different disorder. There is often a family history of other mental disorders or illnesses. Sometimes the parent was interested in the narcissist, but then he was cold and distant, so the narcissist learned that he could not trust and could not rely on anyone, then he became a narcissist, he became selfish, everything had to focus only on him.
The narcissist has learned that people do not help each other, he has learned that everyone must take care of themselves, because the lack of consistency has made the narcissist insecure, fragile and weak. This led to the belief that he needed to be in control to make sure everything went his way.
To a large extent, a narcissist’s behavior is acquired and learned behavior. A narcissist was never taught how to behave, how to behave in a conflict situation, he was never taught how to solve difficult problems, he was never taught responsibility, he was never taught how to deal with his problems, he was never taught how to reconcile and do not escalate the conflict.
Many narcissistic people are not interested in it at all, so you may get the impression that they never talk about it. A narcissist doesn’t want to be honest and open, he doesn’t want to be sensitive, because that would mean that someone could hurt him, it would mean weakness, and the narcissist cannot afford that.
A narcissist chooses manipulation, he may have learned the art of manipulation from various sources, from movies, books, parents and the environment. Pay attention to what interests the narcissist the most, what he spends the most time on... on the phone, however, it’s more about what he watches, what he reads, what topics interest him, what he spends his time on, this can give you many answers.
The narcissist acts this way because he believes that life is a game that must be played to win, which is exactly what the narcissist thinks. He learned that if you manipulate people and coerce them, shape them like plasticine, that means you are winning, which is why he is a narcissist. There’s a reason he is. You may want him to be different, you may want him to understand, but there’s really nothing you can do about it.
There’s nothing you can do about it, you can’t change a narcissist because these traits and characteristics are programmed from day one. This is not something you can change, only a narcissist can, but you must understand that it is a choice. The narcissist does not want to change anything, there is no such initiative on his part. This happens because the narcissist perceives manipulation as something that gives him advantage, control and power, and in this way he wins, he is in a better situation - this is what he was taught and this is what he learned himself.
The only thing you can do is be aware of this and manage your expectations better, then you can focus on your own development and improving your life, because you cannot count on a narcissist and if you rely on him, you will only be disappointed and let down.
Let the narcissist be an example of what you don’t want to be.
Let the narcissist be an example of what you don’t want to become.
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NPDs are created by childhood experience and trauma. When a parent or caregiver fails them, by teaching them that the parent or caregiver can't be trusted for their emotional needs when going thru the stages of life. When they are pushed aside when they need reassurance, ignored when they need comfort, when who they are is taught that will never be good enough. When it is reinforced that who and what they are is not enough, when they are told they repeatesly can't because of who they are. When their likes aren't what the parent/caregiver want them to do.
I was told I was too tall, and not pretty enough to be a cheerleader everytime I tried out no matter how much I practiced.
When my mother never came to my horseback riding shows because it wasn't her thing.
When she never came to my swim meets because I never won my heats.
Never came to a band competition or a parade I was in.
Insisted I do things I didn't want to and had no intrest in, because all little Jewish girls did that.
When I was told that because I was adopted I wasn't her class of people.
When she let me believe my father left because I wasn't good enough.
When I got dragged to 3 different therapists because I had “mental" problems.
When she hated my friends for being losers.
When I was a tomboy and never wore dresses I was punished.
Was told I didn't appreciate her because I never wore the clothes she bought for me that were not my style and didn't like because she went clothes shopping for me.
My childhood could have easily made me into an NPD but I had my dad and he made sure I knew I WAS enough, and smart and could do anything I set my mind to.
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One can say genetically there is a predisposition that a narcissist can be created if one of the parents and other family members was a narcissist or dealt with some other mental illness, but foremost it's what a child sees/experiences/learns in his own skin, in his own family as how people around him interact with each other, all reflected upon the child is what creates a monster out of him for a lifetime!
His parents neglected/abused/tortured/spoiled him when he was just a little baby creature (put on a pedestal, put down, a scapegoat, a golden child, never good enough, never learned to accept NO as an answer, never learned to trust and commit to anyone physically and emotionally), etc…
All of such profiles of children develop narcissism as a defense mechanism and way of behaviour as they couldn't trust their parents out of them mistreating them (frankly what I wrote in the last paragraph is abuse) so they see their way of moving in the world, on their own, selfish and arrogant, never growing up!
They also have cognitive dissonance, which means that out of 3 cognitions (reflexive, emotional and emphatical) they lack in the third cognitive department: emphatical.
Eg. A child sees mummy smiling, a child smiles back to her = a reflexive cognition (a child reflects back on itself mummy's behaviour)
A child sees mummy crying, the child is aware that mummy is hurt and sad = emotional cognition (a child is aware of mummy's pain)
But in the third department (emphatical) they are lacking as they simply do not have empathy which means they cannot feel mummy's pain nor help her and comfort her with compassion and understanding.
Out of not having empathy and no sense of Love all problems with a narcissist rise to a level of inner madness: he is driven by deadly sin feelings (greed, envy, jealousy, laziness, hate, etc…) merely imitating other people's positive traits (hapiness, compassion, understanding), not having it in the inside-not for himself nor for others so that is why he projects on others feelings of deadly sins.
A narcissist is a state of absence with a empty schizoid core, a cult of death that is, created, never to be changed.
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Certainly a combination of genetic factors with traumas and upbringing.
My mind tries to wipe out the memories of my first years but some things I can remember.
I was born and grow up in a very tense familiar environment, my parents fought a lot. They had their differences but they also had two things in common: the temperament and the stuborness.
I'll not go to much in details about that stuff, but they end up divorcing. Of course, that couldn't do me very well…actually it was by this time (4-12 years of age) that I believe that my narcissistic personality started to develop.
The transition of my childhood to the adolescence was not much better. During this time I endured some of the most shaming situations of my life, most of them in home. I remember times that I spent hours crying in bed, without knowing exactly the why. I felt inadequate, weak, powerless, numb.
As the times were passing, I started to be a more “imaginative” kid. I would imagine people admiring me, being attracted to me, fighting for me. I would imagine me having the power to read people's minds. I become more entangled in the act of seeing myself in mirrors. This mental process would alleviate the shame and numbness.
Of course, I was very insecure and implausible. At that time I become fascinated with people that, in my vision, were popular. Sometimes I asked them how they managed to be like that. “How can they be so confident?”, I kept asking myself.
I started to study seduction and body language in order to develop a posture that inspired appealing. I also started to be obsessive about gathering culture of all kinds. Music, novels, movies, history, psychology. Some of these become entertainments that I preserve even nowadays, like the video-games.
When I was in my 14–16 years, I was still very introverted but at times I learned how to speak my mind properly and learned to have a kind attitude. But for the people that started to be more close to me, I had a posing and distrustful attitude. Hearing them said that always made me unsettling. But I would always rewrite the story to make me look like the right one.
In my 18 years, I had my first serious relationship. It was hell. I was unable to see how much of a selfish and controlling individual I had become. I had an imaginary set up in my mind, let's say that I imagined people dancing in this mental scenario. If the person didn't dance the way that I had idealized, I thought that I had the right to punish her.
When I gaslighted her and devalued her, it felt right. Nowadays, when I think about how much of a lunatic I was, I feel shame but not remorse. Very strange.
This first relationship ended, and others came, and I was getting worse. More vindictive, more resentful, less empathic at each day. I also become a very cynical person. Only I was right, only I had suffered, only I, I, I, I, I…
One day a very narcissistic guy, but also a very conscious person, said that he found me to be very histrionic. And I didn't know what the hell was that supposed to mean, so I devalued him and cut contact with him.
Even though my grandiose thoughts were at their peak, that shame and numbness that I talked at the beginning were still there. I still felt like that shamed kid even though I was an adult.
In addition to all of this, at that point of my life I already had a lot of enemies, a large history of failed relationships and jobs that didn't go well…
So I started to do some research about that histrionic thing. When I read the traits of Histrionic PD, I saw some things that made sense to me. But at the same time, I never had a strong need to be the center of attention like histrionic persons have. It was just the opposite; I always was very introverted and anxious about overtly showing myself. And the histrionics want attention, even if the attention is bad. That's not my case.
Borderline PD made sense because of my mood swings. But I never had suicidal ideations or had a great necessity for someone to look after me. Or even was that impulsive.
Antisocial PD was too aggressive and pervasive for me. For countless times I was petty and selfish but I never robbed anyone, never severely injured anyone, never suffered from substance abuse, never had a record, etc.
When I read the traits of Narcissist PD, my world fell. It was like I was reading how I felt my whole life. The grandiosity, the fantasies, the lack of empathy, the arrogance, the envy…it all made sense.
My realization didn't last very long… but this all I have for this answer.
_________________________________________
The narcissist is searching for continuous confirmation of their own existence and value. They are stuck in a developmental stage, their behavior make us smile when they are 2 years old, but it is a behavior unbearable in an adult. The reason why it is stuck varies, it has to do a lot with the upbringing and caregiver emotional health.
They are disappointing partners in any relationship, they feel entitled as lovers, friends, bosses, or classmates. They could be charming like an engaging toddler and misled people into a connection that is unbalanced by definition. They are extremely needy and demand the attention they didn’t get when they could use it and develop in a healthy adult. It requires serious therapeutic work to change a narcissist. Compassion is of the essence because they actually suffer and find a palliative in their aberrant human interactions.
__________________________________
Picture two children playing on a beach:
One child works hard to make a sandcastle. They gain praise for it from people walking by. The other child didn’t want to put in the boring effort of making a castle. Instead they have been busy looking at other people on the beach all this time, and noticing how inferior they are. When they hear the strangers praising their sibling, the second child is surprised, hurt and most of all is jealous of the attention the sandcastle is getting, and the praise the creative child receives.
Consumed with envious rage, the second child destroys the sandcastle, which has narcissistically injured them by upstaging them. The first child is deeply upset, they go to their parents with their claim. The parents are narcissistic. They don’t like this creative child, who threatens to upstage them too. They make excuses for the destructive child, much to the first child’s distress.
The destroyer, our narcissist, learns that the easiest and safest way to get attention is to pick on people who are the victims of their abuse.
______________________________________
Alright, sit tight, because we're about to unwrap the delightful mystery box labeled "Narcissism."
Narcissists aren’t manufactured in a shady factory hidden in the depths of a mountain. Their creation is a fancy cocktail of various factors. Genetics might toss in a splash of predisposition, while early childhood environment pours in a generous dose of influences. If a child is excessively pampered or excessively criticized, it can lead to narcissistic traits. It's like overcooking or undercooking your food—either way, it's not palatable.
Now, toss in society's current obsession with selfie culture, and sprinkle in some good ol' validation-seeking from social media. Boom! You’ve got yourself a breeding ground for narcissistic tendencies.
But here's the gem: not everyone who takes a selfie or needs validation is a narcissist. True narcissism is deeper, marked by a lack of empathy, a need for admiration, and a tendency to exaggerate one's own importance.
Narcissism isn't just loving the reflection in the mirror; it's expecting the mirror to love you back. And if it doesn’t? Clearly, the mirror's broken, right? Understand the recipe, and you'll spot the dish from a mile away.
https://www.quora.com/How-are-narcissists-created-What-makes-a-narc-a-narc?topAns=1477743740738733
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Send in the Clowns!
One will do for now...
-
Can prayer cure a narcissist?
LOOK,
For some reason, God wants narcissists around.
He made them insufferable and incurable.
Nothing can cure a narcissist.
No medication, no therapy, no shaming, no prayer.
That's how they're intended to be.
Just incurable and not to be fraternized with.
Don't ask me why.
God works in mysterious ways.
And the useless existence of narcissists, is one of those mysteries.
God doesn't want you to waste your life away.
God doesn't want you to be with a narcissist.
But don’t they deserve to be loved, you ask?
No they don't.
Just take nuns for example.
No one is trying to be their partner.
Some people aren't meant to have a partner, according to God.
And Narcissists belong to that group of people.
It's just that nuns chose to live that life, expressing their conviction with words and actions.
And narcissists chose to live that life, expressing their conviction only with actions.
So anyway,
No.
The answer is no.
What's meant to be, is meant to be.
Take your ass tf to sleep.
___________________________________
Crucifixion may help.
It’s religious.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Can-prayer-cure-a-narcissist
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How do you drive a narcissist
crazy and flip the script?
You refuse to let them destroy you.
Narcissists aim to bring others down to hide their own failures. If they can't succeed, they don't want anyone else to either.
They targeted you because they saw you as an easy target. You had strengths that made them feel small, but also weaknesses they could exploit.
They attacked by pretending to love you (though it's more like fake hate). They only go after people they truly dislike. The fake love is just a trick to get close and hurt you.
Their "supply" is just a way to control you.
Thinking narcissists can love is wrong - they lack empathy, so there's no real love.
Narcissists only feel hate.
During their fake love phase, they learned about you to create a false image they thought you'd like.
Once you fell for it, they tore down everything you cared about - your relationships, hobbies, career, everything.
Their goal was to destroy you, but by refusing to be broken, you beat them. You grew stronger from the experience, turning their attack into your strength. This drives them mad, reminding them of their own flaws.
They wish they could disappear, but they can't. They'll live in misery until the end.
______________________________
Reclaim yourself, the person that made them crave you and the person you long to be again. Narcissists attack your frame of mind. They are a distraction from your life’s journey. But they are are not part of your journey. Only the reality check is.
Reality check
You always had the power. You were fine before they showed up, and you can be better when they're gone.
They needed you. Just as they now need others. Needing others to feel good about one’s self is weakness.
You never needed them. You liked a version of them that is long gone. But you always knew who you are. No matter how hard they blame shifted, lied about, and attacked your frame of mind, you knew it wasn't true.
They hated someone who is not you. Use this to reject the memory of their manipulations. Reclaim your truth as THE truth.
Knowing who you are, having an unwavering sense of self, is powerful. Living out good values is strength.
You always had the power because you knew who you were through it all. You passed the test. You are proven now. They pretend to be strong while hiding behind lies, victimhood, and dodging accountability. Cowards.
Disgust.
In your pain is incredible wisdom. Turn your anger, regret, or disappointment into disgust of the things they did. Focus on that disgust, listen to it. Latent in your disgust are your core values. It hurts because you would never treat another human that way. Rather than getting upset, use these feelings to find absolute certainty about who you are, what you value, and how you will live the rest of your life. You now know what you will not do to others and why.
Make lemonade.
___________________________________
Don't take actions with the intent of driving them crazy. Then I'm just behaving the same as the narcissistic person, usually because I felt this is all she would understand. In doing so, I give control to her over my actions. Best thing to do is work on you and your goals, not to hurt the narcissistic person but instead thinking of how much you care for yourself!!!! Don't give them space in your head.
_______________________________________
Proving their insane lies seems to make my ex rage.
I won't speak to him on the phone and once I start the screenshots of all the shite I know he did, his voice texting gets all flocked up. I remember him telling me “I'm literally screaming at the phone!”. Lol
Psycho.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/How-to-drive-a-narcissist-crazy-and-flip-the-script?topAns=1477743756169470
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What did my narcissist
really feel about me?
When you read what NPDS write they tell you they are not attached to us. Some times they can switch empathy on & off with us. Depends on the NPD. Usually the way some one treats you is the way they feel about you.
When it comes down to it. They used us. They abused us. There were good times. There were bad times. The bad times start out-weighing the good. Then there's usually just bad. It's hard to say don't take your partner seriously. That is however the best thing to do.
It's realizing your partner was not in a relationship with you. They are disordered. We were there to learn a valuable lesson. I believe that. Just like the NPD needs to get help. We need that for ourselves as well. That's the best outcome. Regardless what they did feel. Or they didn't feel.
No one wants to be used and abused. No one wants to be treated like a toy/object/trash/dirt. NPD free.
____________________________________-
The narcissist doesn't feel about you, they feel through you.
The narcissist wants you to open your Rage Vault, they want you to pour out your fury on them. Negative emotions they can work with, your achievements they cannot.
It's very tempting to unleash upon them, but if you're angry, they don't need to be. They project their hatred into you, you express it for them without them having to suffer the caustic sting of bile.
Let them hate you.
The best way to do this is to redirect their aggression; rather than giving it back with interest, repay them in kind — make them angry. Hurt the narcissist's feelings;
Make the narcissist envious.
____________________________________________
By the way he or she behaves.
Actions speak louder than words, they say, and it’s true.
Are you given silence when you ask a question? Are your words ignored? Are their answers dismissive? Do you have a feeling you are being lied to? Do they disappear on you when you agree to speak or meet up? Are they being ambiguous so much that you experience confusion?
It’s not that complicated. When your communication becomes weird like that, it’s not hard to see the truth.
You are not respected and valued. You are a nuisance. You are not important enough to make an honest effort to communicate in a normal fashion. You’ve been “turned off” for the time being, saved for a rainy day.
What do they think of you? They don’t. Or, not much.
Analyze the actions.
_____________________________________
Related
Does a narcissist ever really like you?
From my experience, no. They loathe you. It's irrelevant that they idealized you in the beginning. It's the same with each partner, from the hidden ones in their phone, to the highest ranking ones.
When they say things like the following screenshot…Believe them. He would try to convince me all the horrific words weren't real, that he actually loved me. “You're the best I ever had" (which I would bet he said to everyone else before me) Months after this text, he cried about his love for me. I didn't believe him.
I believed him when he said he liked to Manipulate the moment.
Believe the horrific words. Not the ones that speak of love or even like.
https://www.quora.com/What-did-my-narcissist-really-feel-about-me
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:knightromance:
-
:lurklaser:
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Does a narcissist want to have
a relationship to look normal?
Narcissists are lonely and desperate for approval. But, too insecure to accept others as they are. Basically, just big toddlers copying others and hoping to be noticed. My Dad is one. He wants to be no trouble, but also be cared for without lifting a finger. He won't ask for things directly, but passively. Hates vulnerability, but confused why he can't connect. Unfortunately, it's a disease that's hard to eliminate from your DNA. They want to be normal, but they don't know what that actually means.
___________________________________
Covert Narcissists are preoccupied with appearing normal, yes. So a marriage, house, kids, job, all help. Because behind the mask of normality, they are deeply anxious, insecure, bitter, jealous and resentful.
These type narcs NEED admiration, respect & a sort of fan club. So appearing perfect while having both family and work life, gives them the fan club smokescreen that soothes their fear of not being good enough, toxic snobbery, and desperation to be seen & admired.
They won't love or fancy their partner. They secretly wish to win the lottery. They are exhausted by being nice all the time. But they know the alternative is pure disappointment and shame from all the people they've impressed their whole lives.
_____________________________________
Mine did for 21yrs! Image was everything for him! That's why after the discard the smear campaign works…outsiders would never believe that he would lie! This is all part of the game they play. Stay strong! No Contact, Love yourself more.
________________________________________
Heck YES! My crazy X narc loved to look normal with me and my young adult daughter. Like we were the perfect family and I made him PAY by always taking us to extremely expensive private restaurants, vacations and clubs.
Here’s the kicker with my crazy X: I literally saved his life: and he could NOT manipulate me and it drove him crazy because he was never so frightened in his life and I brought him back so guess what in the end he blocked me because I would just emasculate the heck out of him and he just was such a jerk. Even today we have each other blocked lol!
https://www.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-want-to-have-a-relationship-to-look-normal
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This is Why Narcissists Never
Grow Up Emotionally and Mentally
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcY2zYycXSI
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Want To Gain An Upper Hand
With A Narcissist? Try These Lines
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSaIFTDzeSc
1. "Help me understand what makes you ask that question".
2. "You certainly have your opinion, you and I think very differently".
3. "I (honestly) have nothing (more) to add to the conversation".
4. "Since you and I can't seem to agree to the basics, the conversation can end here".
5. "Being right seems to be very important to you".
6. "My sense of self respect demands that I excuse myself from this conversation".
7. "My sense of self is my top priority right now".
8. "If you push me into a corner, that leaves me no other option but to say NO".
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BIDEN’S BAD DAY: Old Joe Spews Gibberish, Tries to Jog Off the Stage in Syracuse
Thursday, April 25, 2024
An exhausted Joe Biden spewed gibberish, lies, and abruptly ran off the stage at a campaign stop in Syracuse Thursday afternoon.
‘Inshted of imporing foreign products, we’re exporting… Em-ann… … Exporting American job! We’re exporting American products and creating American jobs!’ mumbled the President.
https://www.thefirsttv.com/bidens-bad-day-old-joe-spews-gibberish-tries-to-jog-off-the-stage-in-syracuse/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR3TncIqqGV7XfsevCJSSyTGxFSL8rq0IbelDxAnLOgMJouATCg7JuA7rKY_aem_AX-0HUKTfvR4LdknJm3Nvzu1_NzMwCH020oF7N7IEkA1pdsen1dhKGDFAzZUm3iAI2dc_E5R_P0COfYhYVoYvWEb
Ron Tello Culley
Face it: The "Greatest Nation on Earth" is gone. Today we are the Number One A*shole Clown State on Earth. Somebody has to be held accountable!!!! Flocking Narcissists...
-
Why You Are Now Winning
Over The Narcissist,
But Now You Know It !
There is a strategy that can help you gain the upper hand when interacting with narcissists. By putting your own happiness and success first, you can demonstrate to the narcissist that you no longer require their presence in your life. This can be a powerful motivator for a narcissist, who may become anxious about losing control over you. But you are strong and capable, and you deserve to thrive without a narcissist dragging you down.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSgQ4eBNSqw
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7 ABSURD Things That Make No Sense To Sigma Males
In this educational and thought-provoking video, we will debunk misconceptions that have perplexed many and shed light on the unique traits that set Sigma males apart. Whether you're curious about personality types, seeking to better understand these enigmatic individuals, or simply intrigued by human behavior, this video is for you about Ron Tello.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhE5_iMhjec
@ronaldculley
I hear them talking, using the English Language, but I have no idea what they are saying. It's all noise to me.
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CHOSEN ONES - 8 Reasons Why
People Hate You
Have you ever noticed that sometimes the most capable and outstanding people are also the most criticized? In today's video, we'll delve into the intriguing world of the "chosen ones" and find out why they attract so much hate. Those who stand out, whether for their intelligence, kindness or talent, often face a wave of negativity. But why does this happen? This video explains why some people will never like you because your spirit bothers their darkness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwH8mPmb-2U
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:tello: "This is a test. I'm low-tech but I can still make a new MEME".
-
:smee!: And now, a post for our Sponsor....
-
:duckling:
COMING SOON!!!
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:tello: "Am I a Narc?"
Tales from the Narc side - Presented by Ron Tello with a DRUM show!!
https://youtu.be/zhHHkTU0FXo?t=4937
:notsmee: Don't flatter yourself Tello. Millions died for your freedom to be an amateur.
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:troll2:
-
:ni: And in other news.....
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These people are DANGEROUS:
This is how you
recognize envy
and falsehood in others
| STOICISM
@StoicInYourLife
4 days ago
Marcus Aurelius once said, 'Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mp7MPlIEdag
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:monalisa:
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Calm Before the Storm. Big Bear Getting ready for a little Spring Rain and Snow. Be Safe. 4/25/2024
@ronaldculley
12 hours ago
Beware of low-flying Pot Holes.
11 hours ago
@bigbearweatherandmore6621
You’re not gonna believe it but right as I’m checking out that message right now I just hit a new pothole. It’s a brand new one. These bastard potholes.
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Heed the Prophet's warnings.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_LLWdI1J8U&lc=Ugw0m1efxqgwyMyhnBp4AaABAg.A2fxbkXHS0kA2g1s1MzFQ4
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Learn how a narcissist thinks and how
they feel about you, And You will
be surprised if you see this
Ever wondered what goes on in the mind of a narcissist when it comes to you? Well, if you're connected to a narcissist in any capacity – whether as family, boss, coworker, classmate, church member, partner, parent, or friend – it's crucial. Because whatever they think about you can influence how they treat you, or worse, how they plan to harm you behind your back. Narcissistic relationships follow distinct stages, and understanding where you stand and how to navigate interactions with the narcissist is key. Today, I'm delving into what exactly goes on in the mind of a narcissist regarding you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nA3vdYV1G2o
@teresitaekim2565
2 hours ago
The narcissist can't fool me anymore. I know the in and out of his personality. He better not try to psych me off. The boomerang will come back to him harder. I don't appreciate love bombings, showering me with flowers or gifts. Showing fake kindness. I know what he is up to. He better not fool himself. He'll be disappointed. I'm not born yesterday to be manipulated forever. He's fooling himself if he doesn't understand that I know he's a coward narcissist.
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Let's talk about why you all hate me
so much
Bob Farrell
1 waiting
Scheduled for Apr 27, 2024
All is welcome
Kerry Lou You do what JT tells you to do yet you won't listen to Justin Rounds and take
Dylan's photo down ? ?
Ronald Culley You LIED about me on multiple occasions and slandered my good name.
You deserve every shite stain you get. It's Karma, buddy. Get used to it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3X0h3uItuM
-
The TRUE Evil Of A Narcissist
It’s not just how narcissist behave that's evil.
Narcissist are inherently evil characters!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2CTK5mUq58
-
The Vicious Karma Narcissists Face
for All That They Have Done to You!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8PgM3focU0
-
Can Narcissists TRULY Change-
Here’s the Scientific Facts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10m60MOQNIQ
@lilfairycupcake
3 days ago
It took me yrs to figure out the "broken" aspect of them. How could such a self-centered greedy animal, also be so self destructive is quite the contradiction. Broken keeps them in perpetual victim mode. They are broken because not only do they hate you, but they also hate themselves. Hows that for a concept?
-
Why a Narcissist
Can’t Change
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcO6WbyED10
@ericad4569
4 days ago
They have no compassion. They don’t believe they have a reason to change.
@ladyvirgo9514
4 days ago
The only thing they change is the character they play for the next supply. Shape-shifting Cowards.
@manbearpig7950
4 days ago
The older the narcissist gets, the more they have learned to fake empathy.
@hurricaneaquatics
4 days ago
Yes and they become MASTERS at gaslighting.
@nilaja-itsmylife
4 days ago
Because they are never wrong.
@Amina679
4 days ago
They can't even keep a job, so who is going to put up with that?
-
:congrats:
-
CHOSEN ONES
You already won!
Be silent about
what happens next.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmkDLPh6ZE4
@user-df6zq9js3l
19 hours ago
DIVINE timing is always so very... PERFECT.
-
7 Social Mistakes That Make
You Look Low Status | stoicism
Discover how to transform your presence and elevate your value in personal and professional spheres with our new video. This video delves into the timeless wisdom of Stoicism, offering practical, transformative steps for self-empowerment and respect. Learn to value your time, prioritize self-care, master the art of listening, and embrace continuous growth. Join us on a journey towards a more respected and valued you, where each strategy opens a new door to being acknowledged and celebrated for who you are.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMdEbBtPlRY
-
You Are One of the Chosen:
9 Undeniable Signs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM9zQr3HbNo
@yvonnekyle9953
2 days ago
It all makes sense to me now! If you have not put this content out for me to hear I would still be lost and not knowing my purpose in life! Now I know the role I need to play out and have a profound purpose! For the first time in my life I feel free! Thank You so much for your service in these contents in your videos have helped me in many ways! It’s hard to accept being a chosen one! But I know I can do it!
:goodidea:
-
5 Types of people every
CHOSEN person must
be careful of
While it is essential to remain open and loving towards others, we must also protect ourselves from negative influences. Remember that the energy you put out into the world often reflects back on you. Be kind, supportive and loving, but also pray for discernment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBc2XEovrMA
-
8 CLEAR Signs You Are a Chosen One
All Chosen One's Must Watch This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KUF2d55tdY
-
Six Kinds of People That God
Cannot Save | the list will
shock you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lK3kZSqBS04
@brettbarager9101
2 months ago
To say God "cannot save" is denying God's omnipotence . . . More accurate to say "will not save because they choose not to be saved"
-
How do narcissists
destroy you?
For starters, the narcissist couldn’t give a ff about you once they’ve left you in a heap of misery. What they do care about is what they can take and exploit from you with zero reciprocity. They’ll destroy your health, finances, friendships, employment, family or anything else you hold dear. But here’s how they destroy you bit by bit over time;
Manipulation, exploitation, gaslighting
Pathological lying / deceit
Leading doubles lives
Infidelity; promiscuity, serial cheating, having hidden dating profiles and hookup apps across multiple platforms
Physical health; subjecting you to the possibility of contracting a raft of STDs as they feign exclusivity while banging tf out of multiple sex partners simultaneously throughout your relationship
Blame shifting, sidestepping accountability for their countless misdeeds and betrayals
Addictions; drugs, alcohol, pornography, compulsive masturbation, sex and / or gambling
Financial abuse
Triangulation; introducing third parties into the relationship to create jealousy
Verbal abuse, put downs, shaming and blaming
Intimacy avoidance / withdrawal
Shirking domestic responsibilities; failing to maintain the home, clean, cook, shop for groceries or pay bills - they’ll expect all this from you
Intermittent dosing; when you’re into devaluation, you’ll be sprinkled with reminders of how they were during the love bombing phase to keep you in the game and supply them with zero fs given and no reciprocity
Future faking; promising you a bright future with no intent on following through
Grooming and lining up your replacement at a time of their choosing - this doesn’t include the string of infidelities prior to the new replacement being found
Smear campaigning; playing the victim, trashing your good name to anyone who will listen to elicit sympathy to set the storyline in place for their discard
Duper’s delight; the feeling of power and control they get to sadistically gratify themselves when they deceive you relentlessly. This gives them a sense of power and control over you and the relationship dynamic
By the end of it all, you’ll even question your own sense of reality due to the mind f’ckery at every turn. Narcissists destroy people and do so with hatred and contempt for you.
They then walk away without even a backwards glance blowing up each relationship they enter.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-destroy-you?topAns=380208362
-
Why do empaths make narcissists uncomfortable?
This is easily answered with a direct quotation from the most malignant narcissist I had a relationship with, identifies male (not the most malignant one I know, identifies female*), “I don't do self- reflection.“
It's that simple. Even during casual conversation, empaths, by virtue of their natures, tend to constantly self-reflect and seek self improvement. Not the showy, Tony Robbins fire-walking method (that's designed for narcissists by a narcissist), but going back to school, getting sober, or going on a silent yoga retreat (things that take actual work and commitment).
Because this drive for improvement is in the forefront of empaths’ minds, not only for themselves but for the world (remember, when with another person, an empath’s instinct is to see from other's POV), the empaths can't help but bring the subject up in conversation in some form. The narcissist will always take this as criticism.
To suggest that the narcissist isn't already perfect, that he needs any improvement, is anathema to his self image. To realize that someone he's chosen for supply needs improvement, and will readily admit it, makes her not only weak and pathetic in his eyes but tells him that he made a mistake! She's not the perfect source he's always searching for. But he CAN'T make mistakes because he's perfect, so she must have deliberately, malignly tricked him. But he CAN'T be tricked because his intellect is perfect.
And so it goes …
No matter what intellectual gymnastics the narcissist performs to figure out how this horror occurred, he will make her pay for not being the perfect source.
But the narcissist is compelled, over and over, to search for this perfect empath, a human battery that will never run dry, never criticize, and always meet the impossible demands of his empty soul. He knows this is his fatal flaw, his greatest weakness, but like an addict he keeps going back, unable, even with a new source, to stop searching for MORE FUEL.
So, when you get down to it, a strong empath to a narcissist is analogous to a shaky-handed alcoholic staring at a bottle of booze -- he fears and desires it in equal measure.
*Editorial Note: I feel I need to address my pronoun selection for this particular answer. I'm well aware that there are a hefty number of women narcissists & narcissistic mothers do extraordinary damage. I also know and empathize with the men who've suffered from those same women.
I'm also keenly aware that women aren't the planet's sole empaths, personally and statistically.
My original intent of pronoun selection stemmed from simple mathematics; the percentage of men per capita who fall under the NPD diagnostic criteria is far greater than that of women.
This being said, I do plan to do some editing to eliminate some pronouns, but should I change one element to the neutral “they,” I have to change both, otherwise I'm playing editorial favorites. At that point, clarity & readability goes out the window.
This, I think, is my best answer until grammar catches up to society.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-empaths-make-narcissists-uncomfortable?topAns=222251470
-
What happens when a narcissist feels shame?
I think that when they get ashamed its like they are staring at the empty void that is actually their real state of mind. Its so scary and terrifying that they quickly find someone else to blame or replace the shame with epic rage. They NEED to block it.
As far as I understand, shame is at the core of their problem. They were shamed by their parents and grew up so ashamed that they develop incredibly messed up behaviors to cope with it.
So, I think they can "be ashamed" but not "feel ashamed", because they block it. In my experience the worst episodes that they have is when they are ashamed but block it by acting insane. They cannot admit to the shame because it would mean both vulnerability and perceived inferiority. So they instead rage at the scapegoat I guess.
So on the outside it looks like they never feel shame, but from what I've read and pondered shame is actually a big part of what has them flocked up all the time.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-a-narcissist-feels-shame?topAns=1477743707819854
-
Confessions - Why Sigma Males Are Giving Up On Friendship
@ronaldculley
This inspires me to commit to the wholesale liquidation of my facebook friends list. Like, FLOCK OFF you phonies. Talk or die. What have you done for me? Why are you so lame? Etc.
I have very few friends because most ppl are not qualified.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeIQ6tw0GKI
-
:tello: "In my House, ppl have one shot to fvck up, and they TOOK IT!"
-
Enlightenment is like a flower that keeps opening its petals infinitely. When you feel you have grasped something, another mystery unravels. Life is a continuous learning curve as long as we humble ourselves.
It's Time To Wake Up - Alan Watts on Religion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f5yF8GeCG4
-
What are the smallest
signs that someone has narcissistic personality
disorder?
I will give just one sign.
A narcissist will go out of their way, massively inconvenience themselves, spend $500 and an entire day spent shopping, just to get you an insignificant knick knack that wasn’t even that important to you just because they wanted to.
And then, tomorrow, when you need the narcissist to just lift a finger and spend 5 minutes helping you out with something that absolutely needs two people, otherwise your project would be ruined, they won’t lift that finger, or give you the 5 minutes just because they didn’t want to.
And then when you complain that you don’t need them to spend $500 getting you an unimportant knick knack, but you absolutely needed their help for your vital project, and it was just lifting a finger and 5 minutes, and how important it was for them to (please) understand that the 5 minutes and one finger lift means more to you than the $500 knick knack (the route to happiness is to be understood), they attack you for being ungrateful.
And you look at your project, and it’s still ruined because you had to do it alone (for just that 5 minutes), and because of that, it toppled and fell over. And you turn to look at the $500 knick knack that you never really wanted (now you want it even less). And you wonder why life is so complicated (you feel trapped).
That’s when you know you are dealing with a narcissist.
When the narcissist was still in your life, all you got was frustration (because they kept antagonizing you).
Later when it was all over, looking back, all you feel is sadness and grief (because everything was wasted, and you and everyone only had that much life to spend on anything).
Narcissists are good for nothing (as far as happiness is concerned), in other areas, I’m sure they are good for something.
Some people claim that narcissism is just pure, simple selfishness. And that it’s not complex.
I disagree. Narcissistic gaslighting justifications slip through conventional notions of selfishness with ease (see, I got you that $500 precious, life saving jewel).
I prefer this alternative definition of narcissism: it’s a will hostile to all other wills.
This is a form of crazymaking I call withholding care and concern.
The narcissist will walk a thousand miles ‘for you’, as long as it doesn’t involve care and concern for your welfare and feelings, but as soon as your welfare and feelings apply, their default ‘compulsively withhold care, concern, and civility to degrade and micro-abuse you’ suddenly kicks in.
So the narcissist will shower you with time, money, effort, as long as you do not actually benefit from it.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-signs-that-someone-may-be-an-extreme-narcissist-even-if-they-do-not-exhibit-all-the-traits-listed-in-the-DSM-IV-or-DSM-V?__nsrc__=4
-
What are the biggest signs
that someone has
narcissistic personality disorder?
23.11.2017 Original answer
I will give brief showdown of some behaviors narcissist do and what’s motive behind those behaviors. Some behaviors are specifically to narcissist and can be considered as red flags. I will give you some insight in narcissist motivation and mindset.
There are multiple ways narcissism can show off in person.
There are overt narcissist who are proud of themselves. There’s covert narcissist which is trying to be your friend but secretly is using you for narcissistic supply.
There are somatic and cerebral types which use people for narcissistic supply trough their bodies(somatic) or their intellectual abilities (cerebral)
I have experience with cerebral , covert narcissist who is very intelligent but he has NPD.
Red flags are :
-Coming on from nowhere with laser pointed attention and looking like your soulmate.
-Constant lies which are manufactured in a way to make you feel close to them - those lies have mission to bond with you in a way that make you reliable source of narcissistic supply (covert narcissist do this).
Example : Hey i do that same as you , we are so alike. (You are being idolized and lied to in attempt to make you in reliable form of supply)
-No regard for personal boundaries. Narcissist see your boundaries as something which they have to overcome throughout manipulation. If you say you don’t eat meat they wouldn’t say ok it’s your choice but rather will give you 20 arguments why you should eat meat. They like to feel in control. They feel grandiose.
After idealization phase , they moved quickly on you and had laser pointed attention and you felt like you found soulmate. In reality they just conditioned you to be constant source of supply. That’s what they need to survive. Narcissist don’t have self love. They can’t generate their own worth , they must get that from others thus you can see them as addicts to attention.
They have strategies to attain attention. When everything seems harmonious narcissist makes drama. For example my NPD colleague said he is moving to another school. HE wanted validation that he exist , best way to do that for narc is drama.
REMEMBER narcs prefer good attention but if they can’t get good attention they will use bad form of attention - being feared , hated… They don’t care what you think but they want to be acknowledged.
Narcissist see humans as extension of themselves. They exist to support their fantasies. Narcissist have followers which are deceived in same way as narcissist (I am guilty of being follower but i know that’s what i have to do for peace with NPD). You only exist to serve narcissist needs for self importance.
Narcissist like attention , they want to be listened , they want your time and understanding , they want you to admire their intelligence. You can slowly see how they start to interact with you as a thing. When they need understanding and attention they will emit narcissistic signal and they expect you to and give resipricate them positive attention.
If you confront narcissist you immediately become enemy. That’s called splitting. Narcissist use splitting whole time. They split people in 2 groups. One that can give narc supply and others who can’t or won’t. Those that can’t or wont are worthless and ignored.
Narcissist can abuse you when you confront them , you are not idealized anymore. Their fantasy shatters down as you confrot them. They become enraged to see their fantastic source destroyed so they will be abusive. You are becoming target of their rage.
Good way to see if somebody is narcissist is to ask them what makes them happy. They will have hard time answering this question and you will see them making an effort in lying. They could also use this opportunity to lie to you and to make themselves appear more like you.
Another good way of identifying narcissist is their inconsistency with how they act towards others. If person of low value (in their eyes is not good supply) is wanting to interact with them , they will shrug them off with rudeness and rage. Opposite is true when high potential value comes near.
Tactic to maintain control over you and make you more easy to fall in their fantasy is gaslighting. Gaslighting is basically narcissist way of controlling your view of world. You might say something happened in certain way and they will tell you how it “truly ” happened . It’s like they know and you don’t you are a fool and they are *always* right.
After spending some time with narc they take you for granted and will comeback when they need reassurance and dose of supply , if you can’t provide they will abuse you or find some other source which is willing to do so.
You can see new people being charmed by narcissist and sucked in pathological fantasy world. You might feel sorry to see that happen and nobody believes you until they experience NPD person. You can see how they try to charm others and it’s same way you have been conditioned to be supply. Narcissist is expanding his pathological safe space or fantasy.
I have became good reader of NPD people and can identify them quickly. I am not psychiatrist. Their mindset is stunningly terrifying to me but also fascinating. Their way of going trough life for me seems stupendously hard to maintain. They have to maintain their false self all the time to feed their cravings for attention and to cure their anxiety in that way. AT same time i feel sorry for them having this anxiety but i hate them for their actions and disgusting behaviors sometime.
NPDs are fascinating to study , emotional roller coaster to be friends or partner with and terrible to be one.
——————————————————————————————————
EDIT / ADDITION as I have more things to say now. (21.8.2020)
Narcissist have selctive memory and gaslihting is actually then natural thing for them to do. They really don’t think that they are lying. Their memory and what happend and what they wished to happen is twisted. It’s again their fantasy taking away from reality.
So what you think and they think is equally valuable in some sense. It’s just that you are right and they probably aren’t when it comes to memory. But you can’t blame them for forgeting or not knowing, it isn’t their choice. Yeah it is frustrating to live trough that.
(Well this answers achieves everything i wanted, putting more stuff would make it complex and uncompresible in clear way which i tend to do now lol).
——————————————————————————————————
To conclude some red flags are :
Coming in on you quick and showering you with attention.
Inconsistency with dealing with people.
Superficial charm and mirroring your personality.
Empty eye stare (emotionless).
Constant need of attention and drama seeking.
Engagement in arguments only to win , not to conclude.
Gaslighting your view of reality.
Splitting people in 2 groups , ultimately good and ultimately bad.
Hard time talking about true emotions and their own character traits in meaningful way.
Hyper vigilant , always on guard for insults.
Using guilt to manipulate.
No respect of your boundaries , always trying to manipulate you in their ways either by reasons or guilt trips.
Brief displays of arrogance from time to time.
Wanting you to make commitments without you not knowing them very well.
They hate answering personal questions in early stages. They would rather ask you questions and collect data to form mirroring image of you.
First thanks for reading to end, and i hope this information can help you to be emotionally stable near narcissists and to predict their behavior.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-biggest-signs-that-someone-has-narcissistic-personality-disorder
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What does "breadcrumbing" mean?
A word used for random, non-committal crumbs of attention, random texts, comments, midnight voice notes.... enough to make you follow, keep you interested, allow you to form desires, longings, expectations, but without true fulfilment of anything concrete at the end of the trail.
Breadcrumbing is another way of hedging ones bets. No one wants to feel like an option so it allows someone to keep that thread loosely tied without the pressure of making a choice.
The thing is that people, like threads, can snap.
Are you being breadcrumbed? Well, ask yourself this:
Are you still hungry after you've eaten those crumbs? Are you longing for more?
Alternatively, how many times have you ignored the crumbs only to find that more are cast down because you haven't eaten the previous ones, in a display of “oh crap, they're slipping away, better up my crumb game or this option is gone for good.”
Breadcrumbing isn't an issue until it is. Not everyone is affected in the same way, some can shrug it off, others cannot, and there lies the problem. It is not even about consistency, as breadcrumbing can actually be consistent but the content of it does not nourish or fulfil in any way, it merely fosters attachment.
I don't breadcrumb, and I hate it being done to me.
We are worth more than being strung along as an option while somebody has their fun!
https://www.quora.com/What-does-breadcrumbing-mean
-
What are the signs
that someone is
breadcrumbing you?
Is this manipulative?
The “miss you” text is a #1 sign of breadcrumbing. The perpetrator, (pwNPD or just a lame jerk) who wants to keep you on the back burner of their dating rotation will put in a minimum investment of time or energy on their part to keep you as a back up plan to ensure they will never be too lonely.
People who breadcrumb are like hoarders. They operate at their core from a place of lack and fear. They are afraid that they will be lonely so they hoard people and keep relationships shallow and take as much attention from you as possible.
With two simple words “miss” and “you” they can elicit an emotional connection that will start a conversation with someone who will take the bait and give them attention. For all you know the “miss you” text could have been sent to every person in the sender’s dating list in a mass message.
And yes, breadcrumbing is manipulation. The breadcrumber invests almost nothing and hopes that the recipient will show them how important or powerful they are by having the recipient respond with enthusiasm. The breadcrumbs tend to stop, with possible “Hail Mary” exceptions on holidays or when the breadcrumber is reaching to the back burner people because they lost their primary sources of attention. Life is better when you block them.
Edit: To clarify how it is manipulative, the breadcrumber chooses if and when to connect and controls the relationship without communicating expectations to the other person and purposefully jerking a person around is manipulative.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-signs-that-someone-is-breadcrumbing-you-Is-this-manipulative
-
How do I spot a
narcissistic person?
To spot a narcissistic person, you must use the force - your life force.
In the presence of a narcissist, you will slowly feel worse and worse. This is because the narcissist is an emotional black hole, and being in close proximity causes you to be sucked in, and crushed.
Don't worry about looking for certain words, dilated pupils, or DSM-5 traits, the surest sign that you are interacting with a narcissist is that you slowly feel misery seeping deep into your core.
Your feelings you must trust.
__________________________________
Related
How do you know for sure you are with a narcissist?
1.) Moody
2.) Controlling
3.) Manipulating
4.) Silent Treatment
5.) Gas lighting
6.) Distancing
7.) Always complaining about small little things
8.) Lazy
9.) Always on their phone
10.) Being disrespectful
11.) Liar
12.) Cheater
13.) Too sensitive
14.) Always need validation from their SO
15.) Too friendly to your friends but not you
16.) Out of nowhere suddenly being sweet then grumpy again
17.) Easily get jealous specially with opposite sex
18.) Possessive
19.) Don't want to talk about their past relationship
20.) Lack of interest about you
21.) Passive aggressive
22.) Arrogant
23. ) The mask falls off after you confront him/her
24.) (S)he thinks (s)he is the greatest thing ever created by God
25.) It feels like you are talking to yourself when the narc is presence
26.) Smearing your name to common friends and at the same time wants to be with you
27.) No appreciation of anything you do for him/her
28.) Always look depress
29.) Future faking
30.) Love bombing stop around 2–3 months and you will feel like you are just roommates after the love bombing stage
31.) Boring partner
32.) Using push and pull tactic on the SO
33.) Always want to receive but never give
34.) Impulsive and reckless behavior
35.) Entitled
36.) Always saying bad things to other people (imagine what the narc is saying about you when you are not around?)
37.) History of cheating
38.) Pretentious
39.) Always want to look good to other people but it is just a façade
40.) Ignorant when (s)he makes a mistake
41.) No real long term friends, just acquaintances
42.) No empathy
43.) Selfish
44.) Charming
45.) Narc can’t be alone. The famous harmless discard “can we just be friends for now?” I need to find myself and have peace. Have peace with the new supply b!tch! (You will be the back up plan just incase the new supply doesn’t work out.)
46.) No real hobbies
47.) Always want attention
48.) Absent minded
49.) Lack of sleep (bad karma takes over their brain cells due to bad things they have done to people). No matter how they try to ignore it and escape from it, It will always hunt and follow them around. That is why they have sleepless nights
50.) Always think and act like (s)he is superior over you, even though people know (s)he not
51.) Always look miserable (If (s)he see you happy or smiling, the narc will give you a funny look because (s)he doesn't know how it feels to be really happy or (s)he will get mad and give you dirty look because the narc is paranoid that you might be making fun of him/her.)
52.) The narc words doesn’t match his/her actions
53.) Always the victim
54.) Best actors and actresses who should win a movie award
55.) It feels like you are walking into an egg shells during the relationshit
56.) If you are more successful in life, the narc will try to sabotage the relationshit just because you are doing better than him/her
57.) Drama Queen/King
58.) Self-Centered who thinks everything revolved around him/her
59.) Being humble and shy in the beginning of the relationshit, but rotten tomato inside
60.) Blaming you that the relationshit didn’t work out because you have issues. But In reality, it did not work out because (s)he is a PATHOLOGICAL liar, fake, serial CHEATER, and all of the above I mentioned!
61.) No closure after the break up
62.) Stalking you after the break up
63.) Hoovering you after the break up
Note: When the hoover doesn’t work and (s)he is in a bad situation with the new supply, the narc will go to a deep depression. The narc will quickly remember the best supply or the grade A supply. The narc will be like, wow! I left my old supply with this new loser supply? What am I thinking?
However, it will be too late to go back because some victims don’t forget what the narc did and there is no second chance. Betrayal, pain and disrespect! The victims never forget this! The narc is delusional that every victim is the same, but (s)he is wrong!
Karma is a b!tch! Their karma is you! Because they cant have you anymore. Don’t entertained these fools. There is no happiness with these pathetic losers and just pain, drama and chaos!
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-spot-a-narcissistic-person?no_redirect=1
-
15 Quotes To Change Your
Perspective on Getting Older
https://www.inspiringquotes.com/15-quotes-to-change-your-perspective-on-getting-older/YEJcaLQR2wAGlA1m?liu=3ecb1706472117d900533760cf6c398c&utm_source=blog&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2130789035
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FJB
-
9 Hidden Super Powers Every
Sigma Male Has
It's common knowledge that being a Sigma male comes with its own set of difficulties, especially in a world where conformity and criticism abound. But there are numerous strengths concealed within this distinct personality type. While Sigma men might not be the most popular figures, they often possess greater self-reliance and independence compared to others.
The Sigma male stands out in a crowd effortlessly and carries hidden strengths that might not be immediately obvious. He exudes confidence in himself and doesn't feel the need to prove anything to anyone.
Unlike the Alpha male who tends to be assertive and dominant, the Sigma man displays confidence without being forceful.
Moreover, he harbors numerous concealed strengths that only come to light when provided with the chance to shine. So, let's explore nine hidden powers of Sigma males.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfYk2Te8UE8
-
:indupitably:
-
A Narcissist’s Gaslighting
Is Fueled By Paranoia
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ET2ztZxcGOE
-
It's Coming! Chosen Ones and Starseeds, Signs You Are Leaving Soon
In this captivating exploration, join us as we uncover the profound journey of the chosen ones and starseeds, and delve into the signs indicating your imminent departure from the mundane.
With each passing moment, the resonance of the cosmos grows stronger within you, beckoning you towards your destined path. Discover the signs of your awakening, from a deep sense of inner knowing to heightened sensitivity to energy and vibration.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7ZGs4uWB1w
-
:tello: "The first to fail and deny me is the church.
Never again!"
Why People CANNOT Reciprocate with
Chosen Ones
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvHPDOF4riY
-
Why Chosen Ones are alone
No friends & No relationship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdlYh7lWTMo&t=12s
@denashire
1 month ago
People Think We Are Loners ... But The TRUTH is .... We Are Never Alone.
“The more I get to know people the more I like my dog.”
-Mark Twain
-
https://www.youtube.com/hashtag/chosenones
-
The Loyal and Royal Wolves
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Lhel6wg8Be8
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When a Narcissist is Afraid
of Your Presence,
This is What They Will Do
Narcissists try to hide their egotism and envy by acting like they are sorry and want to succeed. There is no doubt that they will reach their goals. They are only interested in making money. And it makes them very happy to spend money on things that make them look better and get people's attention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQz9zKsnjcA
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Don't UNDERESTIMATE the Chosen Ones
Dive into the mystical realm where destiny intertwines with free will, and the Chosen Ones pave their extraordinary paths across the annals of time. Obsidian presents a captivating exploration into heroes marked by prophecy, balancing the scales of the world, and surpassing all expectations.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMN64uJcz8A
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Do narcissists ever apologize or feel
remorse after discarding their partner
and moving on to another source
of supply?
Nope.
The only time you will hear a sorry from a narcissists mouth is when they need to utilize such a word to garner something from you, use you for whatever it is they view you as being able to supply.
You see, a narcissist never really believes they have anything to ‘feel’ sorry for, nor should they ever feel the need to use that word remorsefully.
They don’t ‘feel’ remorse outwardly, ie for you. They will feel sorry for themselves.. maybe they ran out of a few things that others can supply, low on supply, they will feel a pang of feeling sorry for themselves. Never you. Ever, you.
I know, I know, they can be so convincing at times. But, don’t fall for the sorry bs. Once you are back under the wing of the narcissistic cycle, you will soon learn the word sorry and start feeling it for yourself.
Sorry you fell for their crap once again, sorry that you allowed yourself to be sucked in, sorry that this person you loved is not capable of loving you, even as much as you had wished and hoped for it to not be the case.
Save your sorrys by ignoring their sorrys.
Go an be happys. Happys are a lot better than sorrys.
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No, nope, zero, nil…. why should they? They did nothing wrong but “fall madly, deeply and passionately in lust… oops i mean in love” for the next “love of their lives”. If they apologise that means they did something wrong, they are perfect and perfect people do no wrong.
It's easier to blame you, you must sit with their guilt and shame because they are not prepared to deal with your burdens…. after all, their lives are now perfect since you left and they have another who is 100,000 times better then you. Let the clown and the joker play happy in the circus they have created.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-apologize-or-feel-remorse-after-discarding-their-partner-and-moving-on-to-another-source-of-supply
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:mummy:
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Are covert narcissists that dangerous?
Absolutely yes.
What makes a covert narcissist dangerous?
Covert narcissists are extremely difficult to spot. They appear to be loving, caring, and kind. They can easily win the trust and confidence of people around them, including yourself.
Covert narcissist victim's mentality in every situation gives them the benefit of doubt. They exactly know how to play the victim card.
Covert narcissists are very cunning in spoiling your reputation; they will spoil your reputation by showing care and concern without using abusive words. People will believe that covert narcissists are very bothered about their partner.
Covert narcissists are very passive and aggressive in nature; you won't even realize for ages that you are being abused.
Covert narcissists are very good at covering up their cheating habits; it's very difficult to catch them cheating.
It's very hard to collect evidence and proof against covert narcissists because they know how to hide abusive behavior.
Covert narcissists will be sitting in front of you, talking nicely; they will be plotting something horrible about you with a cool and calm mind.
Covert narcissists are vindictive in nature; they will keep punishing people for things that have offended them.
Covert narcissists will drain your energy completely by acting like victims. They keep feeding on your empathy and sympathy.
It's very hard to leave Covert narcissists because you feel guilty for leaving them, and they make you addicted to them.
Covert narcissists are wolves in sheep's clothes.
https://spiesliesnpdabusehealing.quora.com/Are-covert-narcissists-that-dangerous?topAns=1477743750330448
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How does a covert narcissist
treat you when you are sick?
Ron Culley
My ex-Narc is Malignant. That shouldn’t detract from the story.
One morning I woke up with my left arm being gimp. It musta been the way I slept on it.
I tell her “My arm is lame. I may need physical therapy”.
Then, in her infinite ignorance and disdain for life she decries:
“I CAN’T HAVE DEADBEATS LIVING HERE!”
What a Charmer.
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A covert narcissist may treat you differently when you are sick, and their behavior can vary depending on their individual traits and coping mechanisms. It's essential to remember that not everyone with narcissistic traits will act the same way, and individual experiences may differ. However, some common patterns of behavior that a covert narcissist may display when you are sick include:
Lack of Empathy: Covert narcissists typically struggle with empathizing with others.
When you're sick, they may show little concern for your well-being or downplay the severity of your illness, making you feel unheard or invalidated.
Manipulation: Covert narcissists may use your vulnerability when you're sick to their advantage. They may employ manipulation tactics to gain control, attention, or sympathy from others, even using your illness to play the victim themselves.
Withholding Support: Instead of offering genuine support, a covert narcissist may withhold emotional or practical assistance when you need it most. They may be reluctant to take care of you or show concern for your recovery.
Making It About Themselves: Covert narcissists have a tendency to redirect the focus onto themselves. Even when you're sick, they might find a way to make the situation about their struggles or accomplishments, minimizing your feelings and experiences.
Gaslighting: A covert narcissist may gaslight you, making you doubt your own feelings and perceptions about your sickness. They might undermine your symptoms or make you question whether you are genuinely ill, further eroding your self-confidence.
Feigned Concern: Some covert narcissists may pretend to care for you when you're sick, but their concern is often superficial and self-serving. They might use your illness to garner praise or admiration from others for being a "caring" person.
Dismissing Your Needs: Instead of catering to your needs during your illness, a covert narcissist may dismiss them entirely, showing little interest in helping you feel better or providing any necessary care.
It's essential to recognize these patterns and set boundaries with individuals who consistently exhibit narcissistic behaviors. If you suspect that someone in your life is a covert narcissist and their treatment is negatively affecting you, consider seeking support from a mental health professional or counselor to help you navigate these challenging dynamics.
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They mock you. Tell you that you are faking, slacking etc. No emotion, no concern, no empathy.
Reason being they are truly the sick one always. Its all about them. Forever.
So when they get sick, pretend not to notice.
Watch them go berserk! Such fun.
Have fun with your narc. Press those buttons.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-covert-narcissist-treat-you-when-you-are-sick
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What does ignoring the
narcissist really do to them?
Most narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego. Their self-esteem is connected by how much attention they can get from you and/or others.
A person with high levels of narcissism can get more aggressive when being ignored. When they think you are ignoring them, some won’t be able to control their temper, so they may lash out or change their approach by being aggressive with their calls or text messages demanding to talk or communicate with you.
They will never be ready to discuss or be accountable for what they did or said to you. They will just expect you to accept what they want or need while they will be very hypocritical by ignoring their actions. Yes, they will be mad or upset at you for ignoring them, but when or once you call them out on their behavior, they will get mad at you, and in return ignore you.
Even if you ignore a narcissist for whatever reason that may be, they will eventually get bored and seek attention from someone else.
The narcissist may replace you with someone else who won’t ignore them and give them the attention, and control that they seek.
This is why ignoring a narcissist should be more about you, and less about them. This is how they operate, and how they satisfy their narcissistic supply.
Solution: Ignoring them is one of the easiest ways to redeem your control, regain your sense of clarity, and restore your power by focusing your attention on yourself. As far as what happens to a narcissist when you ignore them is really irrelevant. May you know the signs. May you not become a victim. And may you be more concern about your healing, recovery, and emotional-mental health.
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Oh, it almost always pisses them off.
Narcissists are all about manipulation and attention — that is to say, they manipulate people and situations to get the most attention. It’s how they get what they want.
So if you ignore them, they can’t work their charm on you. You can’t fall for their trap, so to speak.
Which is why it’s a very effective way of making sure you keep yourself away from relationships with narcissistic partners or minimizing the abuse they can do to you. You just ignore them.
And I know, it’s not always possible or even easy to do, but if you can, I suggest that’s what you do.
Sure, you’ll piss them off, but sooner or later, they’ll realize that their efforts are better spent somewhere else.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-ignoring-the-narcissist-really-do-to-them
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Are narcissists for narcissists?
No, probably not. Narcissists would probably be threatened by the presence of another narcissist. They look for people who they can gain control over or manipulate which results in some sort of gain, or SUPPLY for them.
Examples of this would be: gaining positive attention, self-esteem, praise etc. Notice that none of this is related to money—although it helps.
In the narcissists mind, the most important thing is being recognized, adored and validated. So, if another narcissist was in their world they would be afraid the other person would outshine them. In fact it is possible that they would actively dislike another narcissist and engage in activity to undermine each other.
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Narcissists are for themselves. Narcs know when they’re in the presence of another narc. Narcs are non apologetic opportunists. They’re ALL users. If they can use each other…of course they will. Anything resembling loyalty is non existent. It’s 100% self centered.
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I’m confused by this question. I’ll answer it though the best I can.
A Narcissist doesn’t want another narcissist. They want an empath. They want some one that will give them supply. They want someone that they can manipulate, gaslight, confuse, control, use and abuse.
They want someone understanding, full of empathy, that easily forgives and trusts. They care about their needs only! Why would they want another narcissist? They need to be the most superior, most important, self-coddled and enabled. They need all the pampering, attention and pleasing. They have to have the best ideas and opinions! They will take anyone’s opinion or advice over yours.
Why would they want someone just like them that they have to constantly compete with? They want to win, gain, control and destroy all in the name of surviving their own shame, guilt, traumas and insecurities. They want to hide, not be seen.
Narcissists go after vulnerable and/or good hearted people. They don’t want to be the one being cheated on, used, discarded or manipulated! They need someone that’s a bit of a challenge and out of their league by success, respect or looks to boost their confidence and grandiose false image but they will soon kill this person's worth and value.
They don’t want someone that they cannot devalue. They don’t want another narcissist.
There can only be one to rule and destroy the relationship.
They ruin everything they touch or come into contact with. They will hurt the most innocent while coming off as victim. Narcissists are not aware they are narcissists. That would shatter their ego and false self-image. Often times they will accuse their victims and partners of being a narc.
Narcissists are all for themselves.... period!
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-for-narcissists
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Do narcissists know beforehand when they're going to discard you?
I had no idea.
Ron Culley
11 months into the relationship with my ex-Narc at her homestead, I get this out-of-the blue PM:
10/11/2016 6:06AM
To: Ron
From: Luka
“FYI: Sherry has been talking sh!t about you saying you're a freeloader living off her. Lazy bum drunk...she is spending nights with Kevin in town, says she made you sleep in her RV. Not in a relationship any more. Planning to give you the boot. A conspiracy, Pretty low. That is why I am writing to you. I hate cheaters, liars and backstabbers. Lame ass way to do things. She made herself out as a victim. Not cool...”
So yeah, scheming and conniving is the name of that game.
Now, in 2024, she found new supply in the world of Boondocking, and left me here at her house.
“Abandonment” is the key word now. I have alerted the authorities bc I have no significant income and she maliciously denied me heating fuel. Breach of Duty of Care and Elderly Abuse.
What a Charmer….
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Narcissists may not know the EXACT moment they will discard you, but they have pre-planned their ENTIRE relationship with you before you even realize it.
You don't know that when you first start speaking to them that they more than likely ALREADY have at least one more man/woman they're in a relationship with.
They just picked you next, because they're devaluing that other person.
And they've picked YOU to be their next “victim.”
So they love bomb you. Make you feel amazing. Tell you that you're the one they've been looking for.
And they act as though they are ready to start a long term relationship with you. They ask you if you would be willing to move where they live.
And you fall in love with them. And you tell them you love them. And they say the same back.
And then- it's perfect. You just admitted to the Narcissist that you're committed to them- because YOU love them. But they don't truly love YOU.
So- the moment you tell them you love them- they begin looking for ANOTHER new person to start dating.
And they use the same lines that worked on you on this new person.
And once this new person is secured- THIS is when they discard you.
Because you aren't “shiny and new” any longer.
Your routine of saying “good morning” to them and speaking with them throughout the day is too boring.
And you're completely shocked when they discard you, because it's completely out of nowhere.
You haven't even had one fight with them.
But this is what Narcissists do. Once you begin begging them to take you back- they know you're Trauma Bonded to them.
And this is when they start giving you the Silent Treatment, and the emotional abuse ramps up.
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I’m going to go against what I used to think before.
Not always.
That is, they don’t necessarily always plan things to go an exact way, not all the time!
In some cases, they may have thought about utilizing you for long term plans, but something happened to change that. Maybe there was an easier way to do things, or another person who could make something happen for them.
Maybe they did try to get you to cooperate, but you refused. Maybe you didn’t understand at the time, that your refusal meant they would eventually look elsewhere, or were already planning, in case you couldn’t be a part of what they wanted.
So, not all of them actually deliberately discard you in a schematic way, which goes to say, they are still very self-centred, so if you’re not really going to cooperate, and they “want what they want NOW” they’re going to definitely leave or do something horrible, and in this case, it appears it was all a well-conceived plan. But it wasn’t actually that perfect, it only appeared that way.
Perhaps this can explain why they also get so cruel and mean in the end. They now know you’re not worth anything to them, and they need to move on.
And of course, they never like hearing “No.” The day I said “No” was the day the great Narcissistic Book of Revelation opened up, and I was aplomb in shock and awe. Hell hath no fury like a narcissist deprived of a compliant and meek slave.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-beforehand-when-theyre-going-to-discard-you-I-had-no-idea
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Do narcissists miss their exes
after they discard them?
Yes, we never miss what we have until it’s gone, so of course they miss you. You may subconsciously miss them too. Missing someone is natural especially if you have created a connection with this person.
They miss what the person provided for them not the actual person, because they object their victims. To the narcissist, you existed to them as an object to be used at their advantage or convenience. They miss their ex, because they are always between relationships.
When the person that they are with sees them for who they are, and they get discarded by that person, it is an immediate reaction for a narcissist or an abuser to go back or miss the last person that they were with. So, missing their ex is a big oops in their lapse of judgment or distorted decision making, and less about missing you an individual. When dealing with a narcissist it is not about a relationship, it is about objectification, control, egomania, and power.
They miss you in their life so they can feed off your good energy, and ultimately try to destroy your self-confidence all over again. You can't believe their “apologies,” and “empty promises” to not hurt you anymore, it is a scheme meant to toy with your emotions in an effort for you to take them back. Which is everything that the person they were with didn't have or was not providing for them.
They missed the attention that you can gave them.
They missed how you stroked their egos.
They missed what you did for them, and how you made them feel as far as giving them adoration, praise, affection, loyalty, pleasure, money, time, energy, and validation. (the list goes on)
They missed that they had someone who truly loved them, and would do anything they can to make them happy which is narcissistic supply that you once offered them.
They missed the control, and power that they had over you.
They missed your obedience, forgiveness, faithfulness, and authenticity.
They missed that they were able to manipulate, mislead, abuse, use, and control you.
Narcissists don’t want you to heal, recover, and move on. This is why they come back even after the discard. They always do things with a purpose; they are cunning toxic individuals who aim to destroy your souls. Lasty, the critical thing is to remember that narcissists don’t miss you, they miss what you provided for them and the control and power they once had over you.
It is not you who they miss, they miss what you had to offer. May you know the signs, may not allow the abuser access into your life again, and may you continue to walk towards your healing.
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Narcissistic personality disorder can manifest in various ways, and individuals with this disorder may have difficulty forming genuine emotional connections with others. While every person is unique, it's important to note that individuals with narcissistic traits may not experience the same emotions or attachments in relationships as others do.
Their focus is often on themselves and their own needs, rather than on the well-being of others. It's crucial to seek professional guidance and support if you or someone you know is dealing with the impact of a relationship involving narcissistic behavior.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-miss-their-exes-after-they-discard-them
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What happens when a narcissist realizes they’re losing you?
They will always demean and minimize the contribution you brought to the relationship as a way to justify their lack of loyalty, lack of empathy, and cruelty to you when they're trying to discard you for someone else.
Keep on reminding yourself that nothing you have done or not done in that relationship justifies how they treated you. Got no contact and never look back as they do not change and in fact they get worse with age. You don't need people like that in your life. Don't take them back there are plenty of good people out there that will treat you in a way that you deserve.
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They’ll either step up their love bombing or they’ll pull your chain. A therapist once compared how my ex treated me to a yo-yo… she’d give me some slack then yank me back. I now know this was a manifestation of control through the trauma bond… she played on my need for validation from her. Only, when that stopped working and I cared less, she became nice and flattering.
Unlike normal people who will have honest discussions about your relationship (even if difficult), narcissists tend to have one-sided, blaming, victim-role conversations. The best advice I can give is to just leave them if you’re thinking about it.
A relationship with one will not get better through honesty and vulnerability. It just won’t. And trying to salvage something ends up futile. Cutting them off is hard and drastic, but I found it to be the only way. Good luck.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-a-narcissist-realizes-they-re-losing-you
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Once You SPEAK Like This,
Reality Becomes Yours
Once you learn how to correctly speak to the universe, reality becomes yours. Allowing you to completely shift your reality. Imagine standing at the edge of a vast, shimmering ocean, the horizon stretching infinitely, blending the water with the sky.
This ocean is the realm of infinite possibilities, your potential realities. You're holding the key to unlock any reality you desire. This key? Your words. But to wield this key with precision, the first step is Awareness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJADvxfSLR8
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What is the reality of a narcissist?
Here is the biggest truth: no narcissist will ever be ready to acknowledge that nobody likes them.
This is the reason why they have to keep chasing different sources of supply. They know every supply they have in their life has an expiry date, and this supply, sooner or later, they'll be able to see through them and see through their facade, only to recognize them for who they are.
They know they make people miserable; they know they are miserable, and they do not want to acknowledge that. They just want to blame things on people because it's an easy way to escape situations. It's an easy way to bypass the situations that could have otherwise helped them to wake up to their truth.
And what is their truth? They are shame-filled individuals who do not take responsibility for anything at all.
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Liam Harden
Self-Aware Closet Narcissist
My reality? You only see yourself to exist in this world. Everyday I wake up and everything that revolves something, I am always apart of the equation. When thinking of others, I think of myself. When thinking of plans, I think of myself. When I walk out in public, everyone around me is meshed into the background.
I am practically alone in the world at all times and boredom is what keeps me going. Talking to people does incite emotions but I am unable to have emotions for those people. Once I walk away, my emotions fleet away, and I go back to being bored looking for the next thing to do. I ‘disconnect’ from people on a dime once they are not in front of me. I do not think of others unless there is something I am seeking.
For example, when you think of others, you may be picturing them as they are and things about them that makes them, them. When I think of others, I without being conscience, think of myself gaining some enjoyment, goal, moment, etc.
I only exist in this world in terms of perception because my brain does not connect to you any differently than objects. I may receive emotional responses within once I am around people, and admiration lifts me up because something inciting those childish emotions that all children love, attention, but I am stuck not seeing anyone else.
Children perceive the world this way but as an adult it is an issue because there are bigger roles and responsibilities that I am to be obligated to fill because of the fact I am not a child.
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The reality of a narcissist is no reality at all.
This lack of contact with the reality of others, their feelings, renders the narcissist incapable of empathy. They live in a pre-socialized world where their interests and concerns are self centered. Their ego is weak. Their defenses are rigid. They are hyper vigilant and hyper reactive.
They are incapable of reciprocity. They tend to be exploitative. As such, they see others as tools for their own self aggrandizement. They skim the surface and tend to be manipulative and high strung. They are critical, indecisive and irrational. If you call this reality, “reality”, I suggest you think again.
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Wouldn’t it be nice to live in the narcissist’s reality? You’re always right. You’re the best at everything. You’re an expert at all things you do or haven’t even tried.
The narcissist has a lot of pain from the past and is skilled at projecting that pain on everyone else. If you call the narcissist out on a cruel or inappropriate action or response, and he or she feels violated, criticized, demeaned, the narcissist will become the victim because that keeps the narcissist from having to look within.
This is referred to as a narcissistic injury. And the narcissist can play a very good victim. It takes the focus off what the narcissist did wrong, and it puts you on the defensive as the perpetrator.
If anything goes wrong it’s your fault, no matter the offender. Remember, narcissists believe they are perfect and everyone else is not. How could it be his or her fault?
With the narcissist, the punishment never fits the crime. Usually there’s not even a crime to begin with. The narcissist may dole out harsh criticism, the silent treatment or a combination of both to “punish” you and have you begging for forgiveness. Remember, the narcissist is great at being the injured party, even when the narcissist is actually the perpetrator.
There’s no proportion. The drama doesn’t end, no matter how much you tiptoe around your home.
Narcissists also believe they are so good at life, that they shouldn’t surround themselves with anyone “less than” them. (If you’ll notice they have few if any good friends.) That’s why the narcissist doesn’t engage with anyone he feels inferior or that can’t do something for the narcissist
The narcissist almost does something with the end in mind. The narcissist must get something from a situation or person, or the narcissist won’t take part. The narcissist looks at life like a Monopoly game. There’s a strategy or manipulative tactic put in place in order to gain money, people, and things, regardless if it hurts the other person financially or emotionally. I’ve known narcissists who leave an ex-wife and children homeless, while the narcissists walk away free of guilt and trauma. If it works for the narcissist, then that’s how the narcissist believes the game should be played.
The narcissist takes pride and pleasure in disrupting your world. Seeing you in emotional pain is something the narcissist relishes. Why? The more pain you carry, the easier it is for the narcissist to control you and those around you. The narcissist also understands that if you are isolated due to your pain or his control, then that’s even better. He has you at his disposal, broken down, ready to please.
Also, the narcissist likes for your home life, social life and professional life to revolve around him or her. The narcissist does it by causing disruption, then often fixing the problem he caused.
For example, I can recall numerous arguments the narcissist provoked, only to come back and give an empty apology such as, “I’m sorry, but you push my buttons. Can you calm down and we talk about this rationally?” The narcissist looks like the hero, and you’re left wondering what just happened.
Life with a narcissist is a rollercoaster. There are so many ups and downs, all orchestrated to have high control. But there are ways to get off the roller coaster. First of all, don’t get on board in the first place. Focus on your truth. Don’t let the narcissist sway your beliefs of what you know to be true. Journal or keep a notebook of incidents you know occurred.
Secondly, find some peace every day. Take the dog for a walk. Phone a trusted friend. Get grounded in reality. There are good people out there who want you to be healthy emotionally and physically.
Finally, live you're best life. Avoid toxic people. If you can’t avoid the narcissist, put strong boundaries in place. The narcissist won’t like it, but you will become stronger. Time away from toxic people helps you heal and see things clearly. You can more easily live your life. That’s the best karma out there. And you accelerate that karma by taking care of you
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-reality-of-a-narcissist?topAns=1477743712288882
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Can a narcissist become really dangerous?
How dangerous?
My stock answer to this is as follows.
Yes.
Assume very dangerous.
These are deeply maladaptive beings. We have no idea how maladaptive as we never really knew these people and what they were really up to when not with us. Anyone who thinks they know a narc is deluding themselves.
Experts say, on repeat, that the most dangerous time for a victim is when they are trying to leave. Especially if you are high quality supply / have significant ties with the narc such as children. Narcs are unpredictable and volatile and it is good that you treat them as such. They really are not well people.
I also think that the period after leaving can be problematic, It’s why I say on here, time and again, if you can get away from a narc and implement NC and go ‘dark’. Do it. Don’t look for revenge. Don’t show off via social media posts. Don’t feed info to flying monkeys. Go invisible. Disappear. And hope and pray that the narc finds new flesh to feed off so that you are forgotten and they well and truly move on. I think that the longer you are able to do this and stay low, the higher the likelihood that a narc will eventually leave you alone.
I am coming up on 2 1/2 years of NC and am still the recipient of intermittent hoovers/ anonymous gifts. I resolutely ignore and wait it out.
I want nothing more than for my nex to upgrade. Wealthier, prettier, younger, more malleable…I don’t care. Because once he has secured supply that he deems ‘superior’ I will well and truly be relegated to the trash bin and hopefully left completely alone. Zero hoovers, like I don’t exist? = Bliss.
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Prisons are full of narcissists. Yes they can be extremely dangerous. Just picture a homicidal toddler with no ability or desire to control themselves or regulate their emotions in any way who is also large enough to very seriously hurt you.
Now you understand.
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-narcissist-become-really-dangerous-How-dangerous
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How do narcissists treat
their friends? Why would
some people believe the narcissist?
The word “narcissist” is thrown around very loosely, and can include a very wide number of people, who are all very different. All of those people treat their friends differently.
When we speak about narcissistic personality disorder it means meeting specific criteria in the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental health (DSM). This still encompasses a wide range of people who manifest a wide range of characteristics.
Fundamental to the mental health narcissistic adaptation is deep feelings of very low self-worth which are compensated by efforts to bolster their sense of self through external validation. This can present itself in many different ways, such as excessive bragging, acting like they are better than others, efforts to get others to see how incredible they are, etc. Ultimately, they need to be admired.
In some cases this can be over the top arrogance, and in others it can be very nuanced, and look like humility.
Because people who have adapted this way come in such wide variety of styles, it’s not always obvious.
I would say that people, in general, are often persuaded by what appears to be self-confidence. Even when this self-confidence is completely baseless, when a person walks about telling everyone they are great, or the smartest, or most creative, etc, a good percentage of people will believe them.
I find that the converse is true, as well. People who are very insecure, but have adapted a method of overt self-deprecation, as opposed to narcissistic adaptations, often convince others that they are “less than”. They might, in fact, have all kinds of desirable qualities, but their lack of confidence influences those around them.
Think about your personal experiences with others. Let’s say a visit with a medical doctor. A doctor who exudes confidence is likely to inspire confidence, whereas a doctor who acts uncertain might scare a patient off. The confidential doctor might be completely incompetent, while the uncertain doctor might be brilliant, but it’s likely you will be influenced by what they project.
People who exude confidence are generally seen as more charismatic and attractive, and overall more persuasive. It’s no accident that many of these individuals go into politics or other arenas that will put them in the spotlight.
People are drawn to what seems like certainty, and often prefer binary explanations, such as “right or wrong” or “good or bad”, rather than more complex nuanced explanations. If someone continually says, in one way or another, “I’m great”, people often believe it. It often goes along with, “They’re terrible”, as it helps inflate the individual making the claims, by making the unfavorable comparison. “I’m right, they’re wrong”, “I’m good, they’re bad”, “I’m smart, they’re dumb”, “I’m rich, they’re poor”, “I’m honest, they’re lying”, etc.
People often like simple answers, and if someone very confidently sells you one, there’s a good chance a high percentage of people will believe them, especially if they are not particularly confident or well informed. This is why critical thinking is such an important trait for everyone to develop. The world is a dangerous place without it.
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In my experience, narcissists don’t really have friends, they have acquaintances that are much more similar to ‘flying monkeys’ than anything closer.
Narcissists treat all human beings as pawns’ to be sacrificed if the narcissistic demands are not met. Those who associate with narcissists in their inner circle or often ‘unaware’ individuals who are easily manipulated. They tend to have lower self esteem and need external validation. The narcissist has identified this vulnerability and manipulated them into “friendship”.
These individuals are unaware of the tactical manipulation and always believe what’s been said.
In some cases I’ve witnessed “friends” of the narcissist who seem aware, but are intimidated and afraid of being victimised due to witnessing the consequences first hand. These individuals are in a very precarious position as they understand if they stop agreement with the narcissist or the narcissist realises they are aware they will become the new target of abuse.
The best advice i can give, is to learn the red flags and as soon as you spot a narcissist keep your distance, but don’t upset them. Just move on quickly and quietly!
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In my experience, there are a handful of “lifelong friends” who stick around even while the narcissist's more intimate relationships are constantly exploding around them. The reason this is possible is that the ties are superficial in nature, requiring no real responsibility/duty to upkeep and very little chance of the narcissist being rejected. They may text or talk with these friends regularly, but actual time spent with them will be rare — and often during the discard of a romantic partner or someone else in the narcissist's inner-circle.
It's very easy to glean a constant baseline supply from these friends, because the narcissist has succeeded in painting a picture their false-selves which their friends have no need to question. The charming facade has been upkept over the years, so it must be true. And since they require zero work to keep alive, it's easy to maintain these satellite friendships. The narcissist will even refer to these longterm strangers as “close friends”.
Think of these friends like the pegs in a pinball machine. When the narcissist is at odds with a romantic partner or another main supply, they either run away or get flicked away (just like a pinball). The narcissist must maintain their supply somehow — survival depends on it! — so they will bounce off their Friend Pegs until their confidence is boosted. They use the superficial friendships to convince themselves that they are good (*obviously*, look how many friends love me and are on my side!) and the enemy (you) is bad.
But again: it's all superficial. They may talk about sports, video games, “the old days”, etc., but that's about as deep as conversation ever gets. It's just enough to satisfying the starving narcissist without ever giving themselves away and losing their Safety Network.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-treat-their-friends-Why-would-some-people-believe-the-narcissist
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:jandoor:
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Is it common for a
narcissist to act immature?
Ron Culley
Well…YEAH!
Its common knowledge. Everybody knows.
We read Quora!
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Yes, narcissistic people can, and often are emotionally immature. Some people have compared them to the Eternal Youth Archetype which Jung wrote about, or Peter Pan, The Prince or Princess, The Golden Boy, etc. Freud’s mom, by the way, called him “ My Golden Ziggy,” oy.
Narcissism is an early developmental stage for human beings, when the infant and young child thinks the world revolves around them, like the earth revolving around the sun. That’s normal, healthy for the child to expect this.
When the response to this normal need is frustrated or ignored the consequence is to be traumatized and fixated at this place, with subsequent development halted. The self may be then filled with holes like a piece of swiss cheese. The individual still maintains the craving for a good fill of what wasn’t supplied, and this is the case seen in pathological narcissism, when the infant-child was habitually insulted within the mirroring pole of the Self.
We all know what it is like to be with someone “who acts just like a child, “ whose personality seems child like. This is often associated with narcissistic wounding in childhood, and the adult continues to look for narcissistic supplies from others, sometimes even their own children, without ever really feeling they are getting a satiated, and coupled with a hyper sensitivity to insults (narcissistic wounding)
The result is an adult who acts easily hurt, has difficulty with reciprocal responsibilities, not having empathy and being able to see things from the other’s point of view, and an overall fragile sense of Self that is either overblown and realistic, or demoralized and deadened.
From their subjective experience, when others don’t meet their demands, they conclude the lack of responsiveness is evidence of their unworthiness, not being good enough to secure what they still hunger for and need (i.e., interest, attention, affective mirroring, concern and love).
Yes, narcissism and immaturity are kissin’ cousins.
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Absolutely! It’s been said they are emotionally between the ages of 3 to 6.
In my experience (Covert Narc) he would throw tantrums, or pout and sulk like a child if he didn’t get his way. At the time I didn’t know about narcissism and knew he was a spoiled kid that was put on a pedestal (an oops baby born into a wealthy family with much older brothers and sisters to add to the little King scenario) and just thought he was so used to getting his way that he had to learn patience and fairness as an adult. While he aged, it never got better, and it’s SO hard to deal with.
It’s no longer cute and funny when a middle aged man says inappropriate comments to people in public, slams doors, or throws fits (and cell phones, glasses, etc.) because they want what they want and when THEY want it.
The best you can hope for is a teenager mentality with fun actions like just hanging up on you when you have a disagreement, and then not answering for hours or even days.
Or when they know they’ve been drinking all day and are drunk but don’t think the rules apply to them. You beg them not to drive and take their keys, but they have a hidden set and take off. Like a teenager they think they are invincible and don’t care about consequences or who they could hurt or kill.
They love phrases like “If you haven’t grown up by 50 - You don’t have to!” Ugh. I’m sure he used that line at 30, 40, and will at 60 and 70 or however long the universe is stuck with him.
It’s exhausting. Get out and stay away from these snakes!
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If a person has narcissistic personality disorder, they are, by definition, immature in many ways, especially psychologically and emotionally. That they will act immaturely is inevitable.
Immaturity is built into the original definition of “borderline,” which, at first, wasn’t limited to what is now known as “borderline personality disorder,” but encompassed a range between what one now here’s as “neurotypical,” and “psychotic” (having a psychosis causing severe difficulties to perceive reality sufficiently well to function in society). “Borderline” meant “I’m between,” hence not psychotic, able to function in society, but not normal (or “neurotypical”) either.
This “in between” range included the following area:
Fragmented sense of self
Skewed perception of reality
Immature defense mechanisms
Those with narcissistic personality disorder fall in this range, and “immature defense mechanisms” is one of the characteristics.
Narcissistic personality disorder is an arrested development caused by early childhood trauma in the above mentioned areas, and involving problems with
Splitting (people are “all good” or “all bad”)
Lack of object constancy
Inability to repair shame
These result in the symptoms of:
Exaggerated sense of entitlement
Lack of empathy
Exploitative behavior
All of these are immature. The little child thinks everything revolves around them, and can you imagine a three year old saying,”Why don’t you take a break Mommy? Taking care of me must be exhausting! You don’t need to take care of my needs right now. I’ll just wait a bit.”
A narcissist is like a three year old. They can’t wait. Their needs need to be taken care of right now. RIGHT NOW.
Your needs can wait, because they’re not important. There are as important to the narcissist as Mommy’s needs are to the three year old.
The list is endless in ways narcissists are immature.
Here are some examples:
A narcissist will brag about themselves. Most children learn this is socially unacceptable, and don’t brag, but a narcissist will go on and on.
In addition to learning not to brag, children learn not to talk about themselves all the time, but to bring others into the conversation. This is a trait older children learn if they’re well socializes, but certainly by the time one is a teenager one learns to listen to others, but narcissists have never learned to listen, because they don’t care about others, both of which is immature (both not listening and not caring).
Not only are narcissists immature by their bragging about themselves, by the things they brag about is also immature. They want to be admired for the shiny toys they have, not for their character.
As mentioned above, the defense mechanisms of narcissists are immature. The following are common:
Denial
Distortion
Rewriting history
Projection
Blame shifting
Gaslighting
Self justification
Word salad
Here are a couple of examples:
You bring to the narcissist’s attention something you don’t like. They respond,”Oh no! That wasn’t my intention. You misunderstood me!”
or
“So you’re saying X” where X has nothing to do with anything you said.
What you won’t hear is,”Oh, I see your point. That was unthoughtful of me.”
Narcissists get upset at the smallest things. For example, there a trash can which needs to be dumped in the garage can ten feet away. Rather than emptying the trash themselves, they throw a hissy fit.
Anyone who has lived with a narcissist could give a hundred examples like this.
The mindset of a narcissist is “It’s all about me.” (aka “Look at me! Aren’t I cute?”)
To summarize: Narcissists are immature to their core, because they’re thinking, never developed past a certain point, beyond that of a three year old. In certain areas (non emotional and non psychological) narcissists are like adults, but in the emotional and psychological realm, they’re extremely immature, which makes them extraordinarily difficult to understand, because you don’t expect adults to act like three year olds.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-common-for-a-narcissist-to-act-immature
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Do narcissists ever lose anything?
Well I must say… a narcissist is the one who loses everything in their life. They are so cursed that they can't even value what they are gifted with. Great friends, huge money, a dream life, great partner, everything they just lose because of not valuing them; because of being so self centered.
I feel pity on them, but they are doomed to have this destiny to rotate in a circle of getting more and more. They are never satisfied with anything that God has given them.
I think God intentionally gives them everything in their life, whatever they manifest they achieve, so that one day… they fall from the peak of success so bad, that they can't even stand again.
A life of a narcissist is a living hell.
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YES, Heavens YES! They lost THE single most important thing any human being can possibly ever lose. They lost their soul and that’s not metaphor!
It’s not some religious dogma or airy fairy bullshit. They literally have ZERO sense of self. Their world is as if they’re trapped inside of a mirror, everything is backwards, nothing makes sense. It’s literally like their human soul was ripped out of their body and replaced with a vindictive reflection, the nightmare being from the far side of the mirror. Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass; The Twilight Zone.
For them, these are VERY real places, and the real world is the fairy land. Every time they’re alone it’s like a black hole is swallowing them and they RUN so far and so fast yet it’s always faster and they’re just so tired. The ONLY way to get a momentary reprieve is when they’re around other people.
They seem selfish but they have no self at all. They seem confident but all they have is The Void. Everything they have and are..... is a lie. Everything they have they will destroy from jealousy because the other person can have real emotions, real happiness. You have NO idea what a precious thing they lost and they can never recover it.
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Yes they do and if you are lucky you will even find out, or God might let you watch. See, there is nothing that a narcissist fears more than being alone, or worse, growing old.
Yes the love bombing, the lies and all that will drastically catch up to them when that clock starts to tick they will eventually be too old for anything that actually fueled their narcissism. So if you think they don’t have their share of loss, grief and pain... think again.
If you ever took a good look at any narc and thought to yourself "Can they truly be happy?" They stay with that narcissistic behavior and not once they noticed they lost a good relationship over those exaggerated tendencies of cheating and ruining their past relationships; oh think again!
They can’t feel a thing.
That’s exactly how the end will reach out to them, except reality will still be reality. They will miss the person that was in their life and not with emotions, just all the things the person did for them. They might not be able to express themselves since they lack emotions yet nothing goes unpunished.
Call it Destiny or Karma. Call it whatever you want. Yeah, that will catch up to them.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-lose-anything?topAns=1477743688989397
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How dangerous is
a malignant narcissist?
Deadly dangerous.
Seriously, they have no problem ending your life and will if they can get away with it. The malignant narcissist is a psychopath and capable of cold murder.
If you are in a relationship with one, your life is in danger. I know from personal experience. Mine tried to end my life, twice.
And I still spent months ruminating!
Oh yes, they are dangerous. Survivors (if you survive) find their lives destroyed. Nobody walks away with their health, career, friends, and family intact. You crawl away broken, beaten, spent, and scarred. Isolated and broke. Sick. You are in therapy.
Listen well, a malignant narcissist will destroy you. Yes, they will kill you. They don't feel remorse. I've read the stories of these psychopaths. Your life is in danger, usually in a cowardly and indirect way including poison, arson, “accidents", etc.
You don't read some of these stories, because the victim is dead. Let that sink in.
“My narcissist killed me and got away with it” is not a Quora post. Why?
Because dead people don't post on Quora.
It's critical to realize that fact. On here you only read about the survivors. I've read of narcissists drugging their victims and setting their houses on fire. Just think of the double insurance from the house AND the life insurance policy! Loosening the lug nuts on your tires. Never hike with a narcissist around cliffs. They will shove you to your death, and who would know differently?
These sick people are cold and calculating and will end you without remorse. There are no statistics kept, but trust me, it absolutely does happen.
I suffered a sudden aortic dissection (worse than a heart attack) and as I called out for an ambulance, she looked at her phone on the end table…and looked away. Crossed her arms and settled in to watch me die.
Murderer.
No evidence. Crocodile tears, insurance money, new boyfriend, jackpot. These stories don't get reported. Falls, drownings, car crashes, “random" shooting, car jack “slipping"…you get the idea.
My daughter by chance stopped by the house and called an ambulance or I would not be telling you this story. The murderous narcissist would be just another poor widow who tragically lost her husband in a sudden cardiac event. Poor her.
Yes, they are deadly dangerous. Malignant narcissists are now classified as psychopaths by the psychiatric community and for good reason.
I barely escaped. You don't hear the stories of the ones who didn't.
Because they are dead.
Dangerous enough for you? Run for your life while you still can.
A moment of silence now, for those victims who did not escape.
Their stories are not told.
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Malignant Narcissists are very dangerous. Malignant Narcissists can be very destructive and abusive, because they seek to dominate others, and enjoy the damage they inflict on their victims.
Interactions with them are likely to be extremely unhealthy, dangerous, and harmful. Their (Jekyll & Hyde) is beyond comprehensible, and these energy vampires are always on the edge. They are a slight existence away from their half siblings the psychopaths.
Most psychologists concluded that the malignant type is the personification of evil.
Malignant narcissists are considered to be associated with sadism, a sadist. They get pleasure from seeing pain in others and by finding joy or amusement in creating chaos, and confusion. Malignant narcissists tend to display some of the worst traits of NPD, and they often have severe dysfunction in their personal relationships.
Experts consider the malignant narcissist to be the most toxic, dangerous, and traumatic of all NPD subtypes. They have a tendency for destruction and will stop at nothing to pursue their own self-interests even if it means traumatically hurting someone. Which explains their lack of empathy that allows them to hurt others, and not feel anything at all.
Malignant Narcissists are extremely dangerous, cold-hearted, and the epitome of evil. Unfortunately, there's no road map to completely understand these troubled souls. They habitually live and exists by hurting and taking advantage of others physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, or financially, without an ounce of remorse or accountability. Dangerous is an understatement, evil fits the description best! They should be placed on the world’s most dangerous people list!
https://www.quora.com/How-dangerous-is-a-malignant-narcissist?topAns=1477743757050661
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Can you stop being a narcissist?
Can it be fixed?
A lot of the time when I see questions like this, I want to tell the full truth. I want to tell the people what it takes for a narcissist to get better. Psychotherapy with a trained professional for 5–10 years, etc, etc. I want to tell them there are self aware narcissists. I want to tell them that there is a small sliver of a chance they change for the better.
I’m going to try a new approach though, because I honestly think a white lie is needed here.
No, they can’t.
And when I say that, I acknowledge that I am lying to you. But in reality, I want you to trust my next few sentences with all your heart. The 1% chance the narcissist in your life gets better, is not worth the 25–50% chance of you keeping them in your life to some degree. The 1% chance your narcissist goes to therapy, is not worth the the time or energy you waste on helping someone that is twice as hard to help and twice as likely to not want it.
The 1% chance your narcissist adjusts well to their affliction, is not worth your peace of mind. The 1% chance you help or see them change, is not worth the torment to your health, mind, heart & soul. If you want to hold out hope, do it from a very safe distance of No Contact and put the responsibility 1000% on them to take the steps necessary. At the very least, size-able distance emotionally.
So again, No they can’t.
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The first thing that needs to be clarified here is what you mean by narcissist?
There are a lot of people with narcissistic traits, I would hazard a guess that the vast majority of people do to some degree. There are also those who have quite obvious narcissistic traits, but are largely just people that manifest as perhaps a bit self obsessed or manipulative etc. Then there is the small percentage of people who can truly be classified as suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, which is what I will assume you mean.
Seeing as true narcissists suffer from a personality disorder, I wouldn't go as far as to say they can be fixed, as personality disorders aren't known to just disappear; you wouldn't expect someone with borderline personality disorder to just be fixed. It is however entirely possible for the condition to be managed and consequently have it's detrimental effects considerably lessened.
The issue with narcissistic personality disorder sufferers is that by the very nature of the disorder, getting them to admit they need therapy and then indeed getting them through the door to actually access it are extremely difficult.
But in theory, they can be 'fixed’ or managed in much the same way that any other personality disorder can; the issue is convincing them that they need treatment.
This is only my opinion from what I have observed in my profession and personal life over the years.
I hope this helps.
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Stop thinking you are better (more intelligent, better looking, more enlightened etc) than everyone else. Or, if you can’t do that, stop responding to people as though you believe you are better than they are. Keep it to yourself.
Listen to people when they talk. Actually pay attention to what they’re saying. Don’t immediately dismiss it as boring or unimportant and switch off - engage with them, try to really get absorbed in their experience of life.
Ask people questions. They exist! They are interesting! Not every conversation has to be all about you!
Stop fantasising about achieving power over others or success. Just accept that you do what you do in the moment and that’s good enough. Enjoy life in the now.
Stop exaggerating your status and achievements. Seriously. Don’t lie about yourself. Just tell people the truth.
Don’t get into relationships with people just because they adore you if you don’t adore them back. Don’t exploit them or use them. Just keep them as friends.
Stop seeing people’s flaws as weaknesses. If people show emotion it isn’t a weakness, if a person isn’t perfect they aren’t weak. They’re human. Show some compassion for them.
Don’t get angry at people and cut them out if they don’t immediately shower you with praise and admiration.
Don’t get annoyed at people who challenge you, and similarly, don’t immediately dismiss their criticism of you as ‘jealousy’. Take a look at what they’ve said about you and try to determine if any of it is even a tiny bit true.
Reflect.
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-stop-being-a-narcissist-Can-it-be-fixed
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Why do narcissists lie all the time?
A narcissist lies that way because most often, the truth makes them look bad. Someone showing traits of narcissism has an extremely difficult time admitting when they’re wrong.
A narcissistic person will go to great lengths to avoid accountability rather than admit fault. They already deep down feel like they are a bad person, so they run from anything negative that confirms it. A person with traits of narcissism will lie and stick with the lie even with evidence to the contrary.
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Narcissists are pathological liars. Narcissists lie because they're arrogant; they feel as if they have a right to whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want. They lie to ensure they're able to dominate, manipulate, exploit, and silence people. They lie to maintain their false reality, and they lie because the truth makes them uncomfortable.
Narcissists also experience extreme shame; they feel shame when people find out they have made a mistake. A narcissist doesn't want to look flawed at any cost to avoid being shamed.
The worst thing is that narcissists believe they are telling the truth. Narcissists believe people, including you, are fools who will easily believe them. Narcissists feel it's very easy to outsmart people.
Narcissists just want to see themselves as right and perfect in front of people, so they keep lying.
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It becomes second nature to them. It would be easier than having to face reality. This would be especially true if it would be of a negative case where it may have had ruined their image. Simply gaslighting themself out of it or to rephrase the situation to be in a better light would be much easier to do than to have to face the reality of it.
It may seem outlandish to an onlooker, but to the narcissist it would make sense, especially since they have had become so accustomed to lying. This would be especially true if lying would require less effort when upon their part. They then may unintentionally run themself into a corner while insisting otherwise to everyone else whom may notice.
The prior partners and people whom they may have misused would probably notice just how poorly they had become. They would insist otherwise of course or may even flip the situation and to paint themself as the true victim, be it they were the one whom partook in such horrific actions upon other people.
They also may forget what they had lied about too, so their narrative would seem to stop making sense.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-lie-all-the-time?topAns=1477743749176547
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What makes a narcissist
resent you?
A narcissist, certainly in a relationship capacity will do their absolute utmost to try and make their victim dependent on them.
For those prepared to stick around they usually succeed until the great day comes when victim either calls time, or as is more common gets traded in for someone fresh. The worst thing therefore is when these people not only move forward in their lives but make great strides ahead, having finally rid themselves of the shackles that were holding them back in the first place. Nothing worse for a narcissist than to be left behind when an ex appears to be doing so much better without them.
In the workplace those people of level pegging with narcissist who get singled out for promotion ahead of narcissist will reliably have their cards marked for some kind of smear campaign.
Ditto friends or siblings who in contrast to narcissists claims of some residual flaw or another also appear to be making something of their life, which is at odds with everything narcissist expected. [Or hoped more like. ]
In essence anyone who at one time was part of a narcissists inner circle, and appears to be leaving them in their wake will always have their no w ex narcissist seething with resentment. When you have been top dog up to now it can become somewhat galling to come across as now lying in second place.
That plus an innate jealousy which goes all the way back means it should always be them claiming credit an no one else. They always learn the hard way that they are no where near as sought after as thought.
Suggest read chapter ’50 stages to dating a narcissist’ in book entitled:
‘Prepare to be tortured. The price you will pay for dating a narcissist’.
Available amazon books and audio.
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Envy!
Every amazing character trait that makes you, you, will also be a beacon for narcissists.
Why will they resent you? Because you are every single thing in this world that they are not, will not, and can not ever be! Because they lack all of the morals and virtues that you were raised to have and Possessing only weak characters and accompanied with paranoid delusions.
They refuse to acknowledge that you are better than they are. At least outwardly. Their paranoid delusions will keep them convinced of their “superiority.” Yet still resent you.
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Narcissists resent you for loving them.
Narcissists do, however, want to know they can make you fall in love with them.
It validates them.
Conquering your love, it is a game they want to win.
But –
the moment they have conquered you, your love and devotion,
the moment you prioritize them over all other things and people in your life,
they have reached their goal.
You are now no longer a challenge, your perceived utility falls, their interest in you wanes.
Feelings of love and compassion.
Narcissists view those who feel love and compassion intensely, as a weakness.
These feelings, are things which can make you vulnerable and susceptible, things which narcissists avoid at all cost. Now that you have shown these weaknesses, your value has also fallen.
Lastly, narcissists feel worthless and unlovable in their core. The fact that anyone, being you here, can love them, just means you yourself are worthless, clearly inferior to them and not worthy of occupying an important part of their life.
The game of love for the narcissist, is a game to validate them initially, and now that they have won you can now resettle into your new role –
being that dreadful object of devaluation.
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Any traits which reflect my humanity: connection with others, a sense of right and wrong, spirituality, creativity, enjoying the journey, growing as an individual, standing up for what is right.
Oh, and my self-worth is not determined by what I own, how I look, who I know or what I do for a living.
More than anything, he despises my quest for The Truth.
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-a-narcissist-resent-you?topAns=1477743671886020
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Are narcissists really oblivious
to their boundless selfishness?
Narcissists are selfish and even delusional, in the sense that they represent themselves to you as something they are not. Then they actually “live” this fantasy out.
They also don't care about morals, because they don't have any. All morals they proclaim to possess are only in relation to how choices affect them. This makes them supreme hypocrites.
I know there are some hoity-toity "professionals" who have been going around on different Quora accounts and making fun of the writers who said narcissists are delusional. They claim that narcissists aren't delusional.
I often point such scoffers to a well-known Ph.D. on Quora who writes about how narcissists are indeed quite delusional and can also bring you down into Delulu Island with them if you stick around them long enough.
And yet, quite a few non-narcissists actually already reside on Delulu Island, truth be told. We have expectations for people that they aren't capable of, and people represent themselves in the most false of ways, even to the extreme as narcissists do.
We also paint a picture of narcissists as something they are not, even when the red flags come along. I understand that sometimes the red flags aren't obvious, and people not versed in narcissism aren't often aware of them. But as of 2024, narcissistic abuse resources are everywhere now.
Almost everyone by now has heard of narcissism. And so I have hope things will improve.
But I digress.
Yes, narcissists are extremely selfish, and they capitalize on that they can bring out a lower level mode of existence out of their victims or hosts (because narcissists are parasites). At first, they feed you with "love" and endless attention. They give you what you want, and they lovebomb you to oblivion.
This develops an extreme attachment to a narcissist, and soon enough, your fantasties revolve around a happily ever after with them built on the lies of Disney movies and religious conditioning that keep you a slave to “love.” This is how they work both sides of the coin. Soon enough, they take this away and starve you. This is how you become "addicted." And yet, your idealisation gets worse with time. You don’t want to let go of feelings.
Narcissists are the most manipulative and selfish individuals to ever disgrace this planet. But we have to stop idealizing them. If you don't, you run the risk of becoming a bit like them, and not only that, you're worshipping a pile of garbage. Who wants that?
I understand though. It takes supreme willpower and mind over matter to fight this battle. You have to get out of your feelings, and also take control of your thoughts. No idealisation. Break that. I know that biology is also powerful here. Thankfully, some of us don't have as high a sex drive, and with age, that dies down, so that helps.
But for younger victims, this may be a major problem. The sex has blinded you and made you a slave to your feelings and sensations. This is exactly how a narcissist operates as they are also slaves to their sensations.I would recommend getting into a fitness routine or something that takes your mind off of sex. You are in a trauma bond and sexual addiction with the narcissist.
Realise that sex is also 90% mental and physical expression is only a reflection of this. (Sex with narcissists isn't even that good because they are selfish and they cannot connect to you.) I was just reading a post where a woman was going on and on about how "beautiful" the sex was with an ex-narcissist, and I was really stunned because I never experienced this. This is why I said that some victims are living on Delulu Island and need to stop idealising.
The idealising of a narcissist is also 90% of the "attraction" you have for them, I can guarantee this. That's why I said mind over matter. The power of the mind is more powerful than the heart and if you can elevate to a higher level, even our natural makeup or biology. When people say they love from the heart, I would also advise to not trust one's feelings, as mentioned. Love is different than feelings. Love is not the same.
So while we know narcissists are very selfish, abusive, and lack boundaries, it's also important to notice our own boundaries when it comes to how we view them. Wanting to hold onto false illusions and delusions creates a bond with the narcissist that will be more difficult to extricate from, and not only that, the emphasis on "feelings" and sensations creates the risk that we reside on the narcissist's lower level of existence.
We need to rise above their level and use our power of mind over matter, which is something the narcissist can never do because they lack the higher level thinking and morality to do so. Remember, they are boundless, egocentric creatures who thrive on a very base, animalistic level, even the ones who are more "cerebral" aren't as intelligent as they seem, just crafty, egotistical pieces of garbage who are trying to get ahead at your expense.
So while narcissists are oblivious to their own lower level mode of being, we don’t have to live on their Delulu Island. Let’s get back to the land of reality and common sense.
*************************
Just a bit of an explanation here. People have been plagiarizing my writing and Quora wants me to prove this after I alerted them. Even though they have access to all of my posts that are dated, I am still waiting for a response. One individual has basically copy-pasted my writing word for word, and isn’t even afraid of being found out. So on every post I am now including a copyright.
Copyright (c) 2024 by Gwen on Quora
:tello: "Thanks Gwen".
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Narcissists often exhibit a lack of awareness or concern regarding the impact of their selfish behaviors on others, but whether they are truly oblivious to their boundless selfishness is a complex question.
Here are some factors to consider:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists typically lack empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This lack of empathy can make it difficult for them to recognize or acknowledge the emotional consequences of their selfish actions on others. They may be more focused on fulfilling their own needs and desires without considering how it affects those around them.
Grandiosity and Entitlement: Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement, believing they are superior to others and deserving of special treatment. This grandiosity can lead them to believe that their needs and desires are more important than those of others, making it easier for them to justify their selfish behaviors without feeling remorse or guilt.
Defense Mechanisms: Narcissists commonly use defense mechanisms such as denial, rationalization, and projection to protect their fragile self-esteem and avoid facing uncomfortable truths about themselves. They may deny or minimize their selfishness, rationalize their behavior as justified, or project their own flaws onto others to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists often use manipulation and control tactics to get what they want from others. They may exploit the vulnerabilities or insecurities of others to manipulate them into fulfilling their needs or desires, without regard for the well-being of those individuals. This manipulation can further reinforce their sense of entitlement and diminish their awareness of their own selfishness.
Cognitive Dissonance: Some narcissists may experience cognitive dissonance, a psychological phenomenon where they hold contradictory beliefs or attitudes. They may simultaneously believe they are special and deserving of admiration while also engaging in selfish behaviors that contradict these beliefs. To resolve this cognitive dissonance, they may distort reality or engage in mental gymnastics to justify their actions and maintain their self-image.
While narcissists may not always be completely oblivious to their selfishness, their underlying psychological traits, defense mechanisms, and cognitive distortions often contribute to a lack of awareness or concern regarding the impact of their behavior on others. It's important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and individuals may vary in their level of self-awareness and capacity for change.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-really-oblivious-to-their-boundless-selfishness
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Do children of narcissists
often avoid becoming
narcissists themselves?
No, children of Narcissists do not know what a Narcissist is. They believe their parents are normal, loving, and always correct. It’s very similar to how grown people fall for the Narcissist’s charm, only that we were kids and they were grownups who should have known better.
Children of Narcissists rarely realize that their parent/s are Narcissists. Instead, they tend to go two ways. One becomes a narcissist because that’s all they learned and know. The other tries very hard to fix themselves because they know that their narcissistic parent is correct about how messed up they are.
The 2nd will eventually wake up one day, and say oh my, I was deceived by the one person that I love the most. She is Mom. Then they wonder how can anyone ever love a monster like me, when my own mother couldn’t love me? Is it that perhaps I’m worse than her? Therapy helps a lot, but these questions linger.
You doubt your therapist a lot and wonder why are they even trying to be nice to you… I mean, I am the daughter of a Narcissist… The most vile creature of all. The one who pits her own children against each other and laughs. I thought all mothers did this…
Can you really trust the daughter of a Narcissist? I came from her. She taught me her ways. I’m I not just like her? My therapist will kindly reassure me that I’m nothing like my mother. He will point out how I love my children and always want what’s best for them. He will say how my husband adores me because I’m a good person.
But - I’m I really? Is that even possible? He is a good man, but I’m a damaged woman. I’m broken and no matter how hard I try to be the very best I can be, my past comes to hunt me.
https://survivingthenarcissistsspace.quora.com/Do-children-of-narcissists-often-avoid-becoming-narcissists-themselves?topAns=1477743757075153
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THE SECRET LIVES OF THE NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxoXsIn8-qY
@jennifernewton4637
2 hours ago
Their secret lives are another way they keep you off kilter. You catch them lying about where they’ve been and then you go down a rabbit hole of wondering WHAT ELSE they’ve been lying about and soon you’re questioning EVERYTHING they say and do and it makes you feel like you’re losing your mind. Then if you QUESTION where they’re going, what they’re doing, and who they’re doing it with, they tell you you’re paranoid or you’re crazy (which, in your mind, VALIDATES your fear that you’re losing your mind). It’s psychological torture and VERY cruel.
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THEY ARE CURSED…PRICE YOU PAY
FOR TRYING TO HURT THE
CHOSEN ONE! WARNING!
Hello all! Safeguarding your luminous energy is vital; it's precious, yet there are those who may seek to fade it. Let's unite to keep our radiance shining bright!
Our hearts are filled with gratitude towards Jesus, as our unwavering faith in Him guides us to illuminate our paths with our brightest lights
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZk7Imm82Yg
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:tello: "Come on now! I have been doing this for you...
482 Replies
3462 Views
Now do this for me!"
-
"Hey! This is about us !!!"
7 Types of People a Narcissist
Deeply Hates
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgF-W6iJ4-U
-
Topics That Sigma Males
Avoid Complaining About,
Unlike Everyone Else
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfnLpf3APlk
:motorbikeride: "It's about the Destination AND the Ride".
-
Why does the narcissist view
you as the enemy when you
truly loved them?
Because it was never about you, including the so called “love” you had/have for them. They are not after your love. They are after dominance of control, power, goods, services, emotional and mental over lord kinda sh!t.
As Tina Turner once sang.. “What’s love got to do with it?” - she was right. Absolutely bloody zilch, nada and zero when you are in an entanglement with a narcissist.
You have to be the enemy, the baddie, the villain.... for if you are not, they are not “good” - for them to regulate their inner bs, you have to be bad. There is no room for two hero’s in a narcissists nightmare fairy tale.
You will turn yourself inside and out again trying to “love” that narcissist to see sense. The only thing you are doing is future proofing how much of the “enemy” you truly are.
I know, I know, its nuts isn’t it? Some would say insanity at it’s best and those folks would be right.
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Most importantly, narcissists don't know the meaning of love. Getting unlimited narcissistic supply from you is love for narcissists. If you don't give them narcissistic supplies, then the narcissist feels you don't love them. There is nothing from the narcissist side; they will only put in effort during the love bombing phase.
Once the love bombing phase is over, narcissists start getting bored of you; they can't accept your flaws because they want you to be a perfect person. Narcissists don't want to hear about your problems because they don't have empathy or remorse.
Once they get bored of you, they will start treating you badly for more narcissistic supply to feel powerful. Narcissists don't want to take any responsibility or accountability for what they are doing in relationships.
Narcissists will make you an enemy by acting like a victim to escape accountability and responsibility. For narcissists, it's your job to please them without complaining. If you don't please narcissists, then you are the most horrible person in this world.
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Because you were unwilling to tolerate their abusive mannerisms and could even manage to live on without them. In their bizarre mind they are unable to fathom the thought that anyone could ever manage to keep on going and especially when thriving without them. You managed to shine and to keep shining and to even outshine them even when they had tried to burn you out and to tarnish that flame and means of life.
They wanted a fan that couldn't function without them and whom would be dependent upon them and who also would tolerate their abusive actions. They also wanted someone whom would be fine in neglecting their own well being as they would continue to ruin them since they would be aware that they are not that say normal and can't appreciate and love people alike how a healthier person would.
Misery loves company afterall and they would utilize that to no end making life extremely miserable for whomever would be fine in tolerating their presence and less pleasant and more abusive mannerisms and actions.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Why-does-the-narcissist-view-you-as-the-enemy-when-you-truly-loved-them?topAns=1477743746184040
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:cuffed:
-
Does a narcissist really
think you're stupid?
Absolutely yes. Narcissists are extremely manipulative and cunning; they will deceive you and then make you look stupid. Narcissists are liars, so they will challenge your knowledge, experience, and information with the help of lies and deception to put you down, and then they will call you stupid or a fool.
Narcissists believe they are smarter than you, so you deserve to be fooled; it's not their fault if you get tricked by them. Narcissists regulate their self-esteem by putting themselves up in front of everyone. For narcissists, their partners and people are stupid for easily believing their lies and deceptions. Narcissists call themselves smart by taking advantage of everyone's trust and kindness.
Narcissists only want to prove themselves correct to show they are smart and you are stupid.
__________________________________
No…or they wouldn't deal with you they just know that they can get over on you and they think that they are smarter than you because we have developed a trauma bond which keeps us glued to them even after their abuse but they definitely do not think that we are stupid…or they never would have ”picked” us to begin with…
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Yes.
I’ve had the misfortune to be closely related to 2 narcissists, and I worked with one as well. That’s 3 too many.
Do they think you’re stupid?
Yes they do.
_____________________________________
Narcissists often project their own insecurities onto others, so if they call you stupid, it's more a reflection of their own mindset rather than an accurate assessment of you. They use such language to manipulate and control rather than to reflect reality.
https://spiesliesnpdabusehealing.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-really-think-youre-stupid?topAns=1477743756747360
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What is in the day
of a covert narcissist?
I suspect it’s something like this:
Get up, feel victimised and make up a narrative about who is to blame for this.
Travel to work feeling envious and bitter about other people’s cars or prime seat on the bus or train. Make up a paranoid narrative about how people have conspired to deny you happiness or success.
Breezily greet co-workers with feigned interest and faked compliments. Resent having to pretend to be nice to worthless idiots who don’t deserve what they have.
Complain long and hard about how difficult your life and job are in the hopes of guilting someone into taking some work off your hands.
Rub shoulders with management. Give a great impression of your own excellence (despite trying circumstances of being surrounded by incompetence), and loyalty, while disparaging whoever you consider your biggest rival.
Virtue signal.
Judge and criticize your scapegoat- preferably in front of enablers and flying monkeys.
Gaslight.
Sabotage someone else’s work, then call them paranoid.
Intentionally ignore someone or dismiss/diminish whatever they said. Sigh at them and turn/walk away if they try harder to be heard.
Provoke someone until they react, then give them the silent treatment. Be extra cheerful and chummy with the next person who walks through the door to make the provoked person feel confused.
Wait until a co-worker completes something, then tell them the vital information that you were supposed to tell them at the outset, and watch, smirking, as they have to start over. Try to make them feel stupid for not knowing the thing that you deliberately withheld (or gaslight them that you did tell them).
Shirk responsibility, blame someone else, make a promise you don’t intend to keep.
Take credit for someone else’s work or idea. Call them petty if they point out that it was their idea/work.
Talk up what a busy day you’ve had. Try to make the other person feel unproductive by comparison.
Stay late at work to claim overtime that you didn’t earn, give the impression of a good work ethic, and the need for a re-evaluation of your (excessive) workload.
Travel home feeling envious and bitter about other people’s cars or prime seat on the bus or train. Make up a paranoid narrative about how people have conspired to deny you the happiness or success that you deserve.
Go to bed feeling bitter and victimised. Fantasise about omnipotence or publicly humiliating/punishing whoever you blame for making your life like this.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-in-the-day-of-a-covert-narcissist
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How can a person
communicate effectively
with a narcissist?
Here are six rules for effective communication with a narcissist:
1. Use their name.
When speaking with a narcissist, be sure to use their name. It's polite, shows respect and empathy—things the narcissist knows little about. It also demonstrates emotional intelligence, something the narcissist lacks. Using their name throws them off and shows you're not intimidated by them.
2. Keep it to the main point.
When engaging with a narcissist, define and agree on the purpose of the conversation. Keep the conversation on track, as narcissists tend to lead discussions into circular, mind-bending, and unproductive paths. Don't let them drive you crazy with word salad and circular talks.
3. Have authentic curiosity.
Approach the conversation with authentic curiosity and compassion. While the narcissist may not reciprocate, bringing this positive tone can set the stage for a better interaction.
4. Ask them what they think.
Begin the conversation by asking the narcissist for their thoughts. Avoid assuming what they think and give them the space to express themselves. This attention and validation can make the conversation more positive.
5. Healthy limits and boundaries.
When dealing with a destructive narcissist, manage the conversation by setting healthy limits and boundaries. Stick to the main topic and enforce limits, showing you won't tolerate abusive behavior.
6. Ask them, how did you arrive at this conclusion?
Have authentic curiosity about their conclusions. It's fair to ask for specifics and how they arrived at their opinions. This helps you gather information to make decisions for yourself.
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In my experience, with absolute silence.
If this narcissist is just a friend or partner (no marriage or children). Then complete and utter silence. Let them do all the talking and see how quickly their lies and manipulation become Chrystal clear to you. Do what you need to do to get this individual out of your life, but do it with the mute button on.
Now if this person is a blood relative or co parent this may be slightly more tricky. Remember every form of communication from you will be twisted and used against you for future attacks. So it’s incredibly important to use as little communication as possible. Keep a physical record of any conversations as proof as these shites will gaslight the hell out of you, if they spy the smallest vulnerablity.
Ideally a lawyer if things become ridiculous, expensive but it takes the pressure off, and helps you mentally deal with this person on an professional manner. Emotions are your enemy and a narcissists fuel. So you must blank off whenever you have to deal with their stress.
SILENCE is the only clear communication they’ll actually understand, it’s louder than any word or emotion you can use. Words and emotions are fuel to a narcissist. Silence is turning their emptiness back onto them, it’s the only healthy way to defeat them.
Waste no more time, compassion or empathy on them. Save your heart for people who really know and love you. Pity the narcissist and anyone still having to deal with them.
___________________________________
Hmmmmmmm………let’s see.
~they say it, you believe it, even if you know it’s a lie.
~that person, you know, they say is just a friend? believe that too, while she’s off felafeling him.
~ wait. What? You have a feeling you want to address, nope. Don’t do that either. Keep your damn feelings to yourself.
~ their overall disrespect is painful? Yep, you guessed it. Suck it up butter cup. You asked how to communicate with one right?
~ take their hand and lead. into the delusional bliss you are now a part of. Don’t question anything about them, that’s not proper communication.
~ you know it, they are the best damn “fill in the blank” that you know, and you best not question them. Whatever ego trip they’re on this week, run with it.
~ if it’s a covert, and they are low. Forget your needs and wants. Be there for them, be there to tell them the lies they need to hear while you grit your teeth as you mutter the horrible validation. Something they will rarely give you.
One last thing, you don’t communicate with one, you just exist. Sit, be quiet, no feelings, nothing. Sit and keep your flocking mouth shut.
______________________________________
When dealing with Cluster B, it's what you don't say that counts.
All of Cluster B are hyper-alert, hypersensitive, hyper-aware.
You probably noticed the way I didn't hyphenate “hypersensitive", and it bugged you — yes I know. And if it didn't then, it does now.
Cluster B pick up on silence, body language, facial expression. Being master manipulators, they can crunch an incredible amount of information at once — they read deeply into tiny cues.
They are akin to animals in this way, their brains are simpler, streamlined, focussed on the hunt, in this case on their endless hunt for supply.
Power for the psychopath
Status for the narcissist
Affection for the borderline
It is as though they have jettisoned the other parts of their brains in order to more easily acquire what it is they're after. By saying too much, you give away your position, and you allow them to more easily extort power, status or affection from you.
Try it for yourself.
Try saying less — notice how they will become uneasy, and speak more in order to prompt you into speaking, so that they know exactly where you are.
Try speaking with your body language — see what happens as you turn your body away, as you look as though you might be about to leave.
Use your facial expressions to answer a question, before you start talking.
Say less, watch more, move more.
_________________________________
You should never be fully present around a narcissist. Part of you, should always be somewhere else.
When you must communicate with a narcissist, make sure you have multiple things going on in your mind and the narcissist is just one of them.
You want to come across a bit distracted, aloof… like you want to help and be polite to the narcissist, but you just got a lot on your mind so you struggle to give them your undivided attention.
If you keep your mind full, you are not even faking it. You really do have a lot on your mind, the narcissist just being one of them. And they are not priority neither.
If the narcissist cannot get your full undivided attention, if they cannot get a grip on your energy, then they will struggle to give you a whirl.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-a-person-communicate-effectively-with-a-narcissist?topAns=1477743746086931
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Do narcissists ever try to
KILL YOU?
Yes.
That is their goal.
Narcissists want you DEAD.
They want you DESTROYED.
And they want to be responsible for your death (and don’t want anyone to know they were responsible).
They enjoy watching you slowly die inside from the various health ailments their abuse causes that will completely vanish if you leave them.
They enjoy you getting sick to the point that you no longer want to live.
They enjoy every minute of it.
And when you’re dead, they love the attention from people they receive over your dead body.
This is who they are, this is who you are dealing with, and this is how serious this can end up if you don’t get out of the relationship.
LEAVE NOW!
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Most narcs try to kill their mates in the most cunning way. They do it slowly and cunningly. But I think in extreme cases they are capable of murder. I never understood why my ex in-laws locked their bedroom when they went to sleep. I guess they knew what their daughter was capable of.
______________________________________
I don't think that narcissists are out to kill you, but if they can drive you to take your own life or think they played a part in your decision to do so they will secretly be celebrating while trying to use their connection to you in order to get pity points from others.
______________________________________
I believe they could, they are evil..My ex narc used to say “I will choke you out“.
I knew then it was time to leave, but next day he acted so nice.
They are pathetic!
____________________________________
I can answer this question in a several ways. My ex narcissist was very abusive physically and on many occasions would hit me so hard on my head that my hearing would go. I blacked out once when he wanted his ring back and I didn't want to give it back. He pushed me against a wall and chocked me so I passed out.
I pressed charges against him. He got probation and spent a week in jail. Of course, this happened along time ago the laws were not that strict. I want to say that I struggled so much with depression and suicidal thoughts. I was very empty inside. He made me feel like nothing. I wasn't important, I wasn't smart enough, beautiful enough. I was never enough.
In my 32 years of suffering with his narcissism I tried to take my life. Your life is so dismal that anything is better. He made me feel like I was a dead woman walking. I thank the Lord he is no longer in my life. I know that God was with me and that it wasn't me who was causing all that I was feeling. It's been 7 years since he left.
I'm so happy now.
I occupy my time with work and family. I love myself and I hope that one day I can meet someone who deserves me. I know if I would have stayed with him I would have taken my life. So to answer your question yes a narcissist can kill you.
_______________________________________
Yes, be prepared and on alert.
Never turn your back on these lowlife sneaks. He tried to suffocate me first, been proven guilty thanks to his Irma Grese of a stepmother. Then he tried to strangle me twice. The first time was horrible but the second time he nearly succeeded. My dog bit him he turned around and nearly strangled her because she bit him trying to protect me. My cats were abused. So I'm telling you if your in a relationship with a narc, get the FARK OUT OF there. It's dangerous. Very dangerous.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-try-to-kill-you
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The narcissist and the
shame-rage spiral
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYWPuJNuvMc
@annabee4897
3 years ago
Me to the narc: "Please don't scream at me"
The narc to me: "I'm NOT SCREAMING...YOU ARE!!!!!!"
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A LACK of FRIENDS INDICATES
that a PERSON IS VERY....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxRAFpO7wlM
@tigerlee9613
2 months ago
As a lonely man, I rather be lonely than have any friends. Most were trash. Many discouraged me to achieve my goals. Some got jealous and always tried to out do me. Some took advantage of me. No one cared about me and cared more about themselves. I had enough of people. I rather be alone.
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You will never be angry
again after listening to this
stoic quotes about anger
remedy | STOICISM
In this video, we explore the power of stoicism to control and transform anger into something positive. Through carefully selected Stoic quotes and teachings, we reveal practical methods and thoughts that will help you maintain calm and composure in challenging situations. If anger has been an obstacle in your life, get ready for a profound change.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5ovprYJMU4
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What is something a narcissist
won't see coming?
I think there are three essential things that a narcissist won’t see coming but that can help you so incredibly. Whether they’re narcissistic or just selfish or passive aggressive people, it applies equally I’d say.
1-No more anger: Narcissistic and passive aggressive people tend to thrive on your anger, so STOP giving it to them. Passive aggressive people actually WANT you to get angry because it’s a displacement of their own anger. So do yourself a favor and stop taking the bait.
I put a little paper up on my mirror that says “don’t take the bait” and it’s a GOOD reminder. Life is filled with little things and big things alike to make you angry, to get you to react, to make you lose it. Don’t let the baiters win, don’t give them what they need and want because it only hurts you. It hurts you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So #1 is NO MORE ANGER.
2-Forgiveness: I think deep down a narcissist or passive aggressive knows they’re not treating you well, despite the level of denial and delusion, and since they also tend to thrive on your anger, the last thing they expect and perhaps care to have, is your forgiveness.
But here’s the thing, when you forgive them it just sets YOU free, makes YOU more whole, and brings YOU health. For them, they don’t expect it, and they might not care to have it for a long long time, but it matters, and they’ll never expect it.
3-Healthy Boundaries: When you’ve found the answers to less anger and forgiveness, this one comes naturally. And one thing a narcissist or passive aggressive will never expect (and will never like) is you establishing healthy boundaries. When you learn to deal with your anger and you learn to forgive you inherently grow as a person and you start to realize your fundamental value, and when you understand your value you realize that you don’t need to allow people to treat you horribly.
You establish basic healthy boundaries, and this takes all of a narcissist’s power away if you can keep those boundaries up. It’s not about building walls to shut out the world or other people, it’s just about recognizing that there’s a line you will no longer allow people to cross in their treatment of you. It also doesn’t require aggression or a mean spirited nature on your part, but simply a calm resolve to protect your sanity, physical health, spirituality, and so on.
I saw when I started taking control of these things in my life, it took control away from the narcissistic and passive aggressive people. It put them on confusing ground while I grew to understand more about myself that I really needed to know.
I think sometimes we deal with these people so long that we get into the mindset that they’re the problems in our lives, but would those problems exist if we didn’t have our own problems which allowed us time and again to accept their horrible behavior? The only one I can change is me, so I might as well give up the ghost of changing him or her, getting revenge on them, making some big poignant statement or point, because those things really don’t work. What works is helping myself, caring about myself, and THAT will always shock a narcissist, because they expect you to always and only care about them.
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They are brilliant strategists and so whenever their victims discover their evil games, this is not something that they will take lightly.
I think that they are highly intuitive and so when their victim suddenly becomes indifferent, they will realize that the game is over.
And they have to face failure……….. their strategy failed.
May all victims of narcissism face the truth and stop trying to excuse abusive behavior. Abuse gets worse and never better.
_______________________________________
Their host/target catching on to their lies and initiating effective counter measures against them. For a narcissist it’s all about control. Narcissists see themselves as mentally superior to their target, but in truth they rely heavily on their target’s response.
My ex wife would take my patient and understanding nature as a weakness, push boundaries,and take liberties. I caught on to this and stopped telling her things.she had to resort to spying on me and eavesdrop on my phone conversations. Knowing this, I used more profanity when referring to her, knowing she was listening. She was pissed but couldn’t say anything without revealing how she got her info.
I got a storage room and another apartment without her knowledge, and moved much of my property out with her unawares. She had some idea something was going on and tried to say the spirit of God told her something was wrong. I revealed nothing as she told me she was insecure and didn’t want us to break up. She said she realized that she took me for granted. I said nothing.
She tried guilt, fake tears, stories of impending doom “our marriage is on life support”. It didn’t matter. I was done. I packed up the rest of my stuff while she sat in the room staring at the wall wondering why she couldn’t trick me and had no idea where I worked or where I was going. Her best efforts failed. She had nothing left.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-something-a-narcissist-wont-see-coming?topAns=173471364
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Can a quiet narcissist be
dangerous?
Not only can quiet, covert narcissists be dangerous, based on personal experience they most definitely are.
And when covert turn malignant, like my NEX wife certainly did, they are toxically vicious and will try to exterminate your presence from anywhere. Metaphorically and physically, if they get their own way.
Full blown erasure was the name of this covert game.
Wherever they may actually emerge from, you are put on a “Highway to Hell".
If you want to find out how low a covert Narc can go, let me assure you they could “Take my breath away".
Still having escaped, now I'm no longer a “Beast of Burden" can start to feel again the soothing “Wind beneath my Wings".
__________________________________
Yes.
One thing to understand about covert narcissists is that their ‘games’ are a shade more subtle. They are ALWAYS in competition with someone - even if they’ve only met the person seconds before - and they are always looking to be the boss in any situation.
I was watching my NEX deal with people and discovered that the moment he found or ‘discovered’ someone he thought he could control, he would step into their path. And he would brush it off as, ‘Ooops, sorry. Didn’t mean to block your way.’ But it was deliberate and calculated. It’s a small 2-second event which makes the person focus on him. And since they have to wait for him to move so they can continue on . . . he wins. Hundreds of these a week. The only person playing the game is him.
The other thing he will do is walk up to women in the store and start talking to them. He’s very charming and charismatic. But he will keep talking until they walk away. And, if they’re not pissed at him, he will follow them around the store. He can pull off old fat White-man very well.
He means no harm. He’s just lonely. They don’t know his past history. They don’t know his tendencies. It irritates them, sure, but to date nobody has called store security on him. When, really, they should have in the first 2 minutes and the first time he followed them around the store. In any case, any time he can control that portion of their day (by keeping their attention on him) that’s a win.
The problem with both these scenarios is that small win is not enough for him. It escalates. Usually where nobody else can see it. But it escalates. If he can get their name - and dear God how often women give their names out! - he looks them up on FB and IG and elsewhere. He does everything up to the point it’s not legal (that I know). And that’s only the stuff I have seen him do.
Just because you’re not seeing all the narcissist is doing does not mean you know all they have done. Far from it. The trouble with covert narcissists is they are very Very VERY good at convincing people around them they are harmless. Very good.
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-quiet-narcissist-be-dangerous
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https://www.youtube.com/@TraceFaceIt
:uthewoman:
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Mass Narcissism: How Society is Collapsing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDbsRh5x37s&t=783s
Trace Face-It
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:tello: "Some things merit repeating..."
The Times of Betrayal
& Disloyalty:
Narcissists on the Rise
"...People will be lovers of Self .... without natural affection....."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bN10mRz9xw&t=1843s
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"Is anybody listening to me?
Paying attention here?
Show me. I sense failure coming on...."
:smee!: Trust me, it isn't about beer money.....
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:goodidea:
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:tello: "I'm not giving up. I'm taking a break."
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:cycle: 3816 Views
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The BIG Letter
Narcissistic Domestic Partner / Landlord Retaliatory Eviction / Felony / Torts Case
From:
m86thecat@yahoo.com
To:
info@ifhmb.com
Thu, May 9 at 11:06 PM
Inland Fair Housing and Mediation Board
1500 South Haven Ave. Suite 100 | Ontario, CA 91761
Phone: 800-321-0911 | Fax: 909-460-0274
info@ifhmb.com
Hello;
I am Ronald Culley, aka Ron Tello.
I believe I have contacted you before this year and received no satisfaction.
I have recently contacted Adult Protective Services (APS), who has given me your number. I have been going around in circles for several months trying to secure Legal Aid and now I am trying you again.
My ex-girlfriend is the landlord where I live in Big Bear. She is a Narcissist*, actively trying to evict me as a tenant. I am NOT a tenant.
I AM A RESIDENT; A LAWFUL (FORMER) DOMESTIC PARTNER.
I am disabled, unemployed, indigent, have no resources, forsaken and nowhere to go. (APS has set out to deal with SSI for I have been denied it in recent years.) My Bank shut me down from overdrafts (account will be closed 5/18 if I don't pay $198)
I HAVE NO MONEY, I am existing merely on Food Stamps, recyclables and the Good Graces of Others....I made a few bucks from fundraising on various YouTube talk show appearances.
In 2015 I was invited and physically brought here from a state of homelessness as it was the result of a corrupt Court System in Elko County, Nevada **. I declare myself a Political Refugee. Now, the Refuge is being compromised.
She is again abusing the law to have her way, i.e. she has done this a dozen times over the past 8 1/2 years (Pattern of Abuse). This is a Retaliatory Eviction because I refused to play her Narc games and endure her continuing abuses. She will not respect my Boundaries and insults my Humanity and Intelligence. At no time have I committed any legal/obligatory offenses.
She has NO Legal Grounds; she claims she is the Victim, as is standard behavior with all narcissists.This is pure irrational emotionalism.
In the alternative, emotional irrationality. Mental instability. Detachment from reality. Insane.
Since late last year she has been living in her RV in Ventura with another man ("New Supply") All has been well until now; repeat attempts and lies to remove me without empathy or remorse.
In the lexicon of Narcissistic Abuse, this is called "Narcissistic Discard" ***
In January this year she issued to me a harassing 30-day notice and threatened a 90-day. To date, no follow through. This I declare is Wilful Infliction of Emotional Distress, Judicial Abuse and Malice Aforethought.
Also, she issued a "Proposal", whereas, I can accept the 30-day and play that game, or I could accept her offer of $3,000 to pay my taxes for my Nevada (distressed, uninhabitable) Property and move out in 30 days.
Absolutely humanly impossible in this current unaffordable housing-shortage market. Without sustainable income, this is clearly NOT a rational offer. I went with the Eviction Process.
_______________________________________________
MEANWHILE, IF I FAIL TO SECURE $1300 FOR MY TAXES BY MAY 30, 2024, I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING. I NEED HER TO PAY!! SHE OFFERED TO PAY IF I MOVE OUT. SHE CAN PAY AS I STAY IN DURING THE MEDIATION PROCESS. FRAME IT AS A PERSONAL LOAN, CONTINGENT UPON THE SALE OF MY HOUSE AND ITS CONTENTS.
Banks refused me a Home Equity loan due to no credit history.
Family denies me and friends are poor and few. I'm holding out for hope on one man in Montello, Nevada, the location of my House.
It's always 50/50 in my life.
______________________________________________
The 30-day Notice did not have a Proof of Service page, and I found out it was NOT filed with the Court. This is FRAUDULENT! An abuse of the Legal Process. Also, the issuing Law Office is culpable of malfeasance.
I am claiming Breach of Duty of Care, Breach of Trust, Breach of Covenant and Elderly Abuse. She deliberately denied me a regular stipend of money and heating fuel, plus, out of spite, she took away her unused blanket from my bed, claiming I was getting it dirty. (Oh but it stays clean on her bed, 3 feet away from mine. Sure.)
I continue to live up to my end of our agreement: Chores in lieu of cash rent. I was never obligated to pay cash rent or utilities.
This action by the Landlord/Ex is violence, threatening my health and well being. A Quality of Life Offense. It is a HATE CRIME. I need to defend myself from this monstrous hostility and deprivation.
She has maliciously denied me all means of support and verbally stated she wants to see me homeless. I have it on audio tape and she knows it. She actually thanked me for recording her, thinking it would play-out in her favor. In reality, it's probative evidence against her.
As a Narcissist, she wants me to suffer. Mission accomplished.
I seek Mediation and Recompense; a Civil Suit settled out of Court.
All I need is for someone in Authority to encourage her to pay up or suffer the consequences of Felony Adult Abuse and Torts 1 thru 100 Lawsuit.
Please, will you help me?
Thank you.
-Ron Tello Culley
XXXX San Bernardino Ave.
PO Box 5602
Sugarloaf, CA 92386
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism
** http://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=7992.msg669609#msg669609
*** https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-narcissists-discard
https://jointheroyalwe.com/about-1/f/the-final-discard-stage-of-narcissistic-abuse#:~:text=Ultimately%2C%20the%20final%20discard%20stage,no%20choice%20but%20to%20leave.
https://www.medicinenet.com/why_does_a_covert_narcissist_discard_you/article.htm
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The "Proposal"
From: Sherry Kopack
To: m86thecat@yahoo.com
Sent: Monday, January 15, 2024 at 10:15:10 PM PST
Subject: Options/eviction
Attention, Ronald Culley.
When I saw you on the 6th of January, 2024, you had received an eviction notice, which will be carried out if you don't accept my offer by the 30th of January, 2024.
I had offered to pay your moving expenses, and to also pay your property taxes. I'm letting you know that the total cost of the moving expenses and the cost of your property taxes will NOT exceed $3,000.00...I will pay you what ever is left after the move is completed, which will be done by February 6th, 2024. We can both sign an agreement to this offer.
Keep in mind, that by accepting this offer, your move must be completed by February 6th, 2024. This offer will be void on midnight, January 30th, 2024, and the money that would have gone to help you will go to an unlawful detainer, instead.
To be delivered to
XXXX San Bernardino Ave.
Sugarloaf, Ca. -92386-
Sherry Kopack
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android
-
From:
m86thecat@yahoo.com
To:
info@ifhmb.com
Wed, May 15 at 11:24 AM
Hello;
Your office called me yesterday and I was not able to speak.
The lady said she would call back on Thursday.
I must add to my case notes the following:
My narcissistic landlord was here removing her possessions from the room which I occupy.
I laid low, no contact for the duration of her (and new guy) visit.
When no one was in the area, she entered my room and verbally assaulted me. Yelling. Accusing and abusing me, claiming I am no good, have not done my work here, etc. (Details in my notes)
The most chilling thing of all is: I yelled back "You are violating my Tenant Rights!"
Her exact response "YOU DON'T HAVE RIGHTS".
Also, she has removed my possessions from the room, a clear violation of everything.
The tension and level of violence has now escalated.
She has laid hands on me before.
Know this: Narcissists are volatile, unstable characters.
I predicted, and posted on social media that a confrontation would ensue. I was correct.
I now claim that she is willing and capable of taking her unfounded angst towards me to new levels of criminality.
Please enter this info into my Case File, and I look forward to hearing from your office tomorrow.
Thank you.
-Ron Tello Culley
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What happens when you show
no emotions towards a narcissist?
They get confused.
They keep trying to make you upset.
They do something sneaky without you knowing, like lying, cheating, or stealing.
They might try to start a fight over something small or blame you for things to get a reaction.
They talk to other people who support them and say bad things about you.
Then, they start treating you badly, making you feel unimportant and confused.
They spend more time on social media, looking for attention.
When they find someone new who doesn't know them well but likes them, they keep trying to impress them.
Meanwhile, they treat you worse, showing less care and being mean.
You might decide to leave, or they might decide to end things with you.
The story is over until the narcissist gets bored. Then, they might try to come back (hoovering).
You can choose to stop talking to them completely, or the narcissist might start the same cycle again. This can happen over and over until you decide to cut off contact for real.
You might feel sad about the time you wasted and that someone tricked you. It's good to talk to someone for advice on why this happened and how to avoid it in the future.
Finally, because you are smart, you move on. Later, you might look back and laugh, realizing you can't believe you fell for someone like them.
Don't forget this, no matter how long it takes to feel better, find support, and you will get through it!
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-show-no-emotions-towards-a-narcissist
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What do narcissists feel inside?
They feel :
Powerful in a relationship, they need to be seen as the dominant force. If you challenge them in any way, you’ve irreversibly harmed their pride and are likely on the road to being discarded.
More Important than you . They can’t be with someone who makes them feel inferior or take the spotlight away.
Noticed from their perspective, it always feels like the world isn’t recognizing their amazing talent . They think they're God’s gift to mankind.
Need to be worshiped . They need that partner to express their love to the fullest whenever they’re around, and especially when anyone else is around. Narcissists want others to see that their partner worships the ground they walk on.
They feel like you’re in control, at every moment. It’s that ego fragility that makes narcissists so dangerous to be around; they can snap at any moment when they feel threatened.
A narcissist wants you to fill in all the little cracks in their ego.
They want you to recognize all of their good qualities and ignore the unsavory ones.
They want you to make them look better whenever you’re together.
They want you to get out of the way when they are BORED with you and they go looking for a NEW SOURCE OF SUPPLY !
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-feel-inside
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Why does a narcissist always try to defend his lies?
BECAUSE HIS LIES IS ALL HE'S GOT.
The narcissist has literally nothing else to offer you.
Lies.
Upon those lies you build hope.
And there you have your narcissistic relationship.
Lies and futile hope.
There's nothing else in the stars for you.
Not as long as you entertain this narcissist.
The narcissist always defends his lies so you can always keep on hoping.
Hoping that you're wrong.
Hoping that he will understand.
Hoping that he will change.
Until one day you'll realize that you’ve been giving your all, for absolutely nothing in return.
Nothing but lies.
Some people wasted 6 months doing that.
Some wasted 45 years.
It all depends on your level of delusion.
Good luck.
https://narsholethelonelygrifter.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-always-try-to-defend-his-lies
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:piper:
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:rosebloom:
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What does a narcissist
do when you told them you
know they are lying to you?
Deny it.
Lie about the lie.
Gaslight you to make you think you're going insane.
Blame shift.
Belittle you.
Demean you.
Rage.
Change the subject.
Leave the room and come back like it never happened.
Any tactic possible to avoid taking full accountability.
A true narcissist will never accept accountability for their actions.
https://www.quora.com/unanswered/What-happens-to-narcissists-when-you-lie-to-them?__nsrc__=4
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Here's how narcissists lie
and get away when
they are caught
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHZRADdcN9k
-
10497 Views
-
What does a narcissist do when they
know that their partner has
figured them out?
Omgeeee…. This is not a gud thing for them. It makes them angry and powerless. They realise they are no longer in control and because of this they will try to end the relationship.. not because they want to but because the realise u are not feeding their ego anymore.
My husband told me he doesn't want a wife who question anything he does. I should say ok to whatever and there will always be peace 😆.
He now realizes how strong willed I am and doesn't depend on him for anything. He doesn't like that either. He wants me to wrk one job even though he ain't giving me sh!t and I stood up to him and let him know that this is not his decision to make until he can at least try to assist in supporting me financially. Until then stfu.
Right now he wants me out. But I ain't going nowhere until am ready. Screw him.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-do-when-they-know-that-their-partner-has-figured-them-out
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Why does everyone say you can't win against a narcissist?
You can't win against a narcissist, because they don't care, and you do –
It's a rigged playing field.
People who try to “win” against the narcissist, usually do so by trying to attain some form of moral high-ground, demonstrating to the narcissist all that is wrong with them, how bad they have been, etc.
Might as well be reading the narcissist a bedtime story, because while you are trying to show them the wrong of their ways, they are just awe-struck by how boring you have become now wishing you leave them for good and don't return.
You only “win” against the narcissist, by reaching that point of equally not-caring, and most people don't have it in them to reach that point. (After all, narcissists are humans too with at least some potential for good, or at least that is what many insist on believing…)
The point where you realize the narcissist's abuse against you, in a way, was your own allowing. Now your boundaries are stronger, and you no longer entertain these human pests, you have seen the light.
No hard feelings, it all served a purpose – you now have a new world, which they shall never partake in!
And, of course, you must withdraw yourself and engage in these things more interesting than them, where you no longer think, obsess, ruminate over them.
Because even if you do “move on” and do other things, if they continue to live in your mind rent-free, you feel their energy, it just shows they are the best, most interesting thing, you still have in your life. And you don't even have them!!
So where does that leave you?
Right where the narcissist wants you.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-everyone-say-you-cant-win-against-a-narcissist
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Why Narcissists Can't Maintain Relationships
and Instead Destroy Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohb7ilqHOK4
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WHEN THERE IS
NO ONE LEFT
TO BLAME
When there is, no one left to blame. One of the abusive techniques the narcissist uses is blame shifting they want to blame their partner blame their children blame their situations blame other people. This is shallow and hollow on the behalf of the narcissist, but this is how they exist. The narcissist cannot accept responsibility for any of their poor behavior rather they blame other people and they say things like if you didn’t do this I wouldn’t have done that etc.
The narcissist is stuck in their tiny little brain. They believe the world revolves around them, but they don’t realize eventually there will be no one left to blame, and the narcissist will have to come to terms with all of the relationships that they’ve blown up. Continue on the path moving forward every day. Namaste.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3V97QZd84E
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Here's The Narcissist's
Resentment & Incompetence,
and How You Can't Rely On Them.
Narcissists have more than one life. They put in a lot of work to make their public image look almost perfect, and they use fake friendliness and charm to get people to like them. But they're scary behind closed doors, like poisonous snakes. It's hard to figure out what they're thinking. They are very good at pulling strings and can really mess up people's lives. You have no reason to think that narcissists will stay the same and that you will be the only one hurt.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wpDtLMOs3Y
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What is so dangerous
about a narcissist?
Narcissists are dangerous because they are evil in human disguise. Narcissists come into your life to destroy you; they take everything from you. Narcissists main motive is to see your downfall and destruction. Narcissists don't have empathy, sympathy, or remorse; they come into relationships just to feed on you. You give everything to narcissists; they take everything from you, and then they destroy you emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
After taking everything from you and destroying you , they will blame you and spoil your reputation. Narcissists are truly evil people.
Narcissists are evil; their sole purpose is to take everything from you. It's the mask, which doesn't allow people to see who they are.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/What-is-so-dangerous-about-a-narcissist?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR1THeIG-ElZy8GptfgaXRtUz0MEm3yDbz_Bm3pTDiTjKrKQPiWHTd3vFKE_aem_AUmM5LJkauGx0eQsyhfYRhu0E11MOG3N19K9MQ8Mls5YiTqYu99TU_lw74tJwYgSCVNiOn2RMKqEGRcq8iJBn5U8
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Why do narcissists
discard their partners?
:tello: "Buckle up and hold onto your seats, ladies & gents. It’s going to be a wild ride!"
A narcissist will discard of you in the most callous way imaginable. It will come out of left field and hit you right in the face like a hard rock. You will come out of it confused, bewildered and disoriented not knowing how the person who claimed to love every part about you, now thinks you are absolutely repulsing to them.
You can’t understand how one moment you are spending all this time together, staying in touch frequently, to now getting blocked, shunned, cut off and demeaned. You can’t fathom how cruel they are being to you, when all you did was be a kind-hearted person to them. You go from being the centre of their attention, to them now wanting nothing to do with you.
You will be quickly demoted from their supply chain when they have started to get bored of you; which happens with every single person they entangle into their toxic web. Once they have used up all the good things that you have done for them, then they no longer have any care to keep you around.
You were once their favourite and number one pick, but without a second thought they will kick you straight to the curb with a new person already groomed to take your place. This person is now taking up all their free time, and getting all their undivided attention and love-bombing. They are saying all the sweet things to them like they used to say to you. While they are making you seem irrelevant by dismissing you out of their lives, they are telling this new person how special they are. They have found someone whom they consider to be “better” than what you have provided them.
Narcissists want variety, and don’t want to settle down or cater to meet the needs of one person for the rest of their lives. The thought of that is insane to them. They love the idea of people being loyal to them, but that will never be reciprocated back. They want to be able to sleep with whoever they want without question, and expect you to put up with it, or else you will be tossed aside in an instant.
They want to be able to flirt with neighbours, strangers, your friends, your family, co-workers or any random person they met online or at a club and they expect you to look the other way & accept it, or else you are crazy, jealous, insecure and controlling. They want to be able to use their social media platforms as a way to hook up with other people, and could care less about your feelings about it. They want to be able to blow all their money on drinking and doing drugs, partying, the sex industry, gambling or anything other than taking care of responsibilities.
Then they will go and spend all of your hard-earned money too without hesitation. They will expect you to bend over backwards for them, sacrificing your dignity, self-respect and identity, and nothing will ever be enough for them, no matter how hard you try. They used to love hearing from you, and now they find everything that you do or say to be annoying. They will say that you are smothering them, that you are needy, clingy and controlling. They will do all these things on purpose, and then they will turn around and blame you for it. You will finally get to a point where you confront them because it’s just getting too much and you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells just to make them happy.
They will discard of you when you start to call them out on their erratic, destructive, impulsive, irresponsible and reckless behaviour. In their minds they think “How dare you hold me accountable for deliberately hurting you!! Silly you, off you go.” They don’t want to hear any lip about how much pain, hurt, distress or abuse they have brought to your life.
They don’t want to listen to you telling them how upset you are that you caught them lying, cheating, or that you are bothered they flirt with other people. They don’t want to hear about how they are ignoring all your messages, and have been avoiding you. They want to be free to live their lives doing as they please, and don’t want to be held accountable for any of the ramifications of their actions.
They will also discard of you to elicit control over you. They do this just for the fun of it to see how far they can test you. One second you could be having the best time together, and you’ll wake up to only find that you’ve been blocked, they’ve changed their number, they’ve moved, they’ve quit their jobs and basically dropped off the face of the earth.
This will leave you in a state of panic and make you feel so abandoned because you grew so attached to them. You spend all your time just going crazy and trying to make it through each day when you can barely function. They leave you in unbearable pain while they seamlessly move on with their lives and slither like manipulative snakes onto the next victim without any regard for how they’ve left you to bleed out.
They will discard of you but not before they make you feel completely worthless, heartbroken, alone, and devastated. Before they send you off, their goal is to take more supply from you by watching you fall to your knees in pain not knowing how it all came to this. They love seeing you sacrificing everything for them, when they fully know they have others waiting in line willing to do the exact same. You don’t understand how all the amazing memories, and good times you shared are now all crumbled to shambles in pieces while they are creating them with someone else.
They discard of you because they don’t care about you. Really, they don’t. This is the most important thing to understand. While you may actually be in love with them, be loyal, be faithful and giving; they don’t think the same way you do.
They don’t understand commitment, or what it means to compromise for another person. They think of themselves in every moment at all costs and won’t let a single person get in the way of that. They could tell you that they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, that they will never leave you, and the second you turn around, they will be with someone else telling them the same things, and have casted you out of their lives faster then you can blink. They want the freedom to do as they please, no questions asked.
They discard of you because it gives them the thrill of knowing they have dominance and power over you. They love watching you beg, plead, cry, and being in distress, losing yourself over them. They are smearing you to their friends, and anyone else who will listen about what a horrible person you are.
Meanwhile, they are leaving out all the horrific things they said and did to you.
They will call you a crazy, stalking, annoying, jealous ex that won’t leave them alone when you try to just communicate with them. They do this as a way to triangulate you with their new supply and make them jealous. They want to make it seem like they have people head over heels for them, and that they have unlimited options.
They will discard of you because they don’t attach themselves to people. They will use whoever for whatever benefits them, and once something more enticing comes along, then it’s goodbye for you without a moments notice. They may cut you off for days, weeks, months or even years and then suddenly reappear if it suits their needs.
It doesn’t matter how much time passed, or how much damage they caused, they feel that they can come and go whenever they wish. They ensure that they choose the most empathic people, because we are the most forgiving. They will know all the right things to say and do to win you over again and it will just be the same repetitive cycle of abuse.
They will discard of you at the worst possible time. You could be going through some really difficult challenges and they will use this opportunity to abandon you. They do this to show you that they refuse to hold your hand through the tough times, and be someone you can depend on.
They will find whatever you are going through to be an inconvenience to them, so they will just drop you for one of their other supplies that isn’t “whining and complaining” and that is available for them at their beck and call. They will discard you during birthdays,holidays or any special occasion. If you are looking forward to something, they will find a way to ruin it for you and pull the disappearing act by ghosting you, giving you the silent treatment and refusing to engage with you.
They will also discard of you to make sure that you are submissive and complacent for future use. If they cut you off as punishment for standing up for yourself and you came back around begging, then they know they will have you right in the palm of their hands when they decide to worm their way back in, because you so desperately want to work things out with them.
You are willing to forget everything that happened just to get the chance to see them again. You are willing to sacrifice your own boundaries to allow a more open relationship that suits their needs because you don’t want to risk losing them again. You are willing to experiment sexually in ways you never have before just to keep them satisfied.
It’s all madness!
They treat you like a slave, and will leave you in an instant no matter how much you loved them, cared for them, or how long you’ve known them. It doesn’t matter if you have been together for decades, months or weeks; they will do what they want, when they want, with who they want, for as long as they live.
They will discard of you mercilessly, and without any remorse. They will do it unexpectedly like they are holding a gun to the back of your head & pull the trigger after they hear your cries. They will come at you full force like a blunt trauma impact and watch you suffer. They will stab you in the back, and twist the knife even further each time you keep letting them come back for more.
Once they discard of you, please take my advice and don’t ever lower yourself to chase after a person who cut you out so ruthlessly. They aren’t worth your time, your tears, your compassion, your effort, or your love. The longer you stay with them, and the longer you wait around for them to decide to want you again, you will lose yourself a little more each time until you no longer even recognize who you are.
That’s not a life worth living for any of us. Every person deserves to be loved back when they give their all. Nobody should have to endure abuse, being cheated on and repeatedly disrespected just for one person. We wouldn’t want our friends or family to go through that, so why would we want that for ourselves? Don’t ever think that you aren’t good enough, or that you won’t ever find someone else, or that you won’t be happy.
Anything is better (even being alone) then being constantly hurt, used, walked on, degraded, betrayed and tossed away like garbage.
“The people that are quick to walk away, are the ones who never intended to stay.”
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-discard-their-partners
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Discarded and thrown away like a worthless
piece of garbage by someone who once said
they loved you can be horrible.
How does it feel to be discarded?
:tazdev: :jandoor: :mobbing:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You need to see the narcissist for what he or she is. They are empty shells, often with "larger than life" personalities, but that isn't even their true self.
I once went to Area 51 with the narcissist. I think he was obsessed with aliens because he is one. lol. On a more serious note, I remember something he asked a local in a bar. He asked "so do you guys have any apartments here for rent?" The guy at the bar nearly spit out his drink and just stared. The narcissist looked truly perplexed. It was Area 51, not prime real estate.
This was the same guy who would yell at me and say that I was stupid. Sure, I'm stupid, the person you're jealous of because I have the degrees you wish you had. This was the same guy who acted like Superman in front of me, flexing his so-called muscles and acting like he was King of the World. In front of other people though, he seemed a lot smaller, and less "powerful." It's weird, but everywhere we went, people liked me and would talk to me. Never to him. He literally becaome invisible.
So you need to see them for who they are. They aren't anyone. They do not even have a real personality. Everything they say or do is copied from someone else they know. Even their word salads are plagiarized. They try and invent some "style" from everything they're stored in their memory, like AI. They are AI people. They aren't even real. Robotic.
They will discard you, because you're too good for them. They must move on. Especially after they've been exposed. They will move on to the next supply, because they can't face themselves, and they cannot even make it on their own.
The next one (supply) may last longer. Maybe he or she doesn't talk back or argue. Maybe they stay silent, and cry in their sleep. They swallow back tears and stay with the narcissist, because they "love" them. But holding all that in is going to make them ill one day. They will get some disease from holding in all that stress. There is an actual paper written about how narcissists and psychopaths give their victims carcinogenesis. Being around abnormality for such a long time period will ultimately kill you from stress or disease.
So be glad that they are gone. You don't need them. They were just empty shells or AI automatons playing a part. I've written before that my ex narcissist would play out roles that he saw in sitcoms and films. That is how empty his life was, that he had no identity at all, and had to learn how to act or behave through an actor's character.
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It's honestly indescribable.
Because there are so many layers to it.
The deception is the first:
-If you grew up with a Narcissistic parent- but you had never experienced a romantic relationship with a Narcisisst before- it is night/day different.
-It is one thing when it is a Narcissistic parent who is lieing about when they are coming home- or verbally gaslighting you. You can somehow rarionalize in your brain that one day, you will move away, and never have to put up with this manipulation again.
It is another when you are in a romantic relationship, and you love this Narcissist.
Because you don't KNOW that they ARE a Narcissist to begin with.
They are kind, gentle, charming- and you have taken your time to trust them.
If you're like me, and you grew up in an abusive household- you don't trust people easily.
But Narcissists are very reassuring. They take their sweet time to Love Bomb you for 3 months.
They Future Fake you. Tell you about all the happy things they want to do with you.
And slowly, you begin to trust them.
You don't rush intimacy. You love them, but you are scared of getting your heart broken.
They reassure you that they love you though. And slowly you share more with them.
They've made you so happy you can't believe this is real. You actually can't believe that there are kind, caring people in this world.
And then- out of nowhere- one day you are discarded.
You're stunned. You can't even breathe. You have no idea what you did wrong.
And they don't explain anything. They don't want to talk about it. They've made up their mind, and they are done with you.
And you're heart is shattered. You're Trauma Bonded. You beg them to explain what you did wrong. You love them, and you can't believe this is happening.
And they may take you back. And maybe for 6 more months you'll date. But everyday gets worse. They don't tell you you're pretty any longer.
If you're sick in the hospital, they don't care. They'd rather look at pictures of random women, then be worried about you.
You start physically becoming sick. You look at your face, and you don't even recognize yourself any longer. The color is drained, and your light and happiness has slowly faded away.
You ask them, if they just used you. They tell you, “you provided stimulation.”
And you feel like a knife has been driven through your heart.
You can't believe this person you shared such intimate things about yourself with- that you loved, and would protect them with your life- could throw you away like you are absolutely nothing.
That's what being Discarded feels like. And this is why- many people may even commit suicide after being in a relationship with a Narcissist.
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Regardless of the time invested it’s devastating to think that someone you cared so deeply for planned a future with could so easily walk away with no closure. As if the relationship meant NOTHING to them.
The fact is that the relationship was merely a stepping stone to the next “love of their live—-—or should I say the love of their life until they get bored with them as well”. looking back you knew something was wrong and so you tried harder. The more you tried the more distain they had towards you. Now they’re gone? They ended the relationship a long time ago. You just didn’t know it They just wanted to make sure your replacement was suitable before they cast you aside like an old shoe.
Now what? You feel extreme anxiety and stress. You can’t focus on anything BUT how why when this person decided you weren’t good enough for them. This is when it’s advised to block this person and go no contact. This is to protect yourself from further hurt because what a true narcissist loves to do is mess with your head after the discard.
They will float in and out of your life if allowed. You’ll start feeling better and be moving on and they will send you a random text/email/VM with a simple “hi”. That one word WILL derail you and you basically start the healing in process over. Don’t snoop or follow or ask about this person. Move on and don’t look back. It’s hard. You will be sad you will be lonely BUT time will heal those wounds.
They very rarely change and any time or energy trying to reconcile or figure it out will be wasted. Not all relationships end happily ever after but with a normal person they will at least have a conversation saying the relationship isn’t working for them. It hurts but at least you have closure and it ended respectfully.
A toxic person will not give you that consideration they walk away with no closure leaving you very confused and devastated. When you feel tempted to reach out to this person please don’t—-come to this sight read what people say about healing from a toxic relationship. You will see you’re not alone and you WILL be ok and be able to move on with your life.
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It really does feel like your person has died. They were there one day, next day, gone. Their body might still be in your home, but the person you thought you knew; the person you have been laying in the same bed with; the person you made a home with; the person you got the dog with; the person you ate with; the person you told your most intimate secrets to; the person you had children with; the person you planned vacations with; the person you presented to your family; the person who told you they loved you like no other; the person you trusted; the person you planned your future around; THAT PERSON IS GONE!
Even if they are still next to you in your bed, THAT PERSON NO LONGER EXISTS. And, they won’t be returning, either. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN.
You live with a demon now.
You have to come to terms with the death of the future you planned. Your life will not be what was promised. That person had no intention on bringing those dreams to fruition. You have to grieve the loss of your security, your home, your spirit, your dreams. You have to come to terms with the fact that, no matter how long the history with this person, THEY NEVER LOVED YOU.
You have to be strong enough to absorb the truths that come crashing down on you after you wake from the fog of the relationship. You have to heal from the trauma of realizing that EVERYTHING this person presented to you was a lie.
You have to be stable enough to take the insult of each new secret that comes to light around EVERY CORNER, once that person’s true colors come out. They just keep coming, secret after insult, after affair, after lie, after deceit, after misconduct, after dysfunction, after abuse, they JUST KEEP COMING. And you can’t stop them.
They are literally in the drawers of your home, the cupboards, the papers, the history of your relationship. They are EVERYWHERE you go. They knock on your door. They show up on your social media pages. They’re in your phone bills and your bank accounts. The LIES ARE EVERYWHERE.
There is no more faking it. This animal WILL be terrible to you now RIGHT TO YOUR FACE. There is no more sneaking around. You can see it with your own eyes now. They can’t hide the truth anymore, and their house of cards has fallen ON YOUR head.
And in response to it, they piss on you and walk away in disgust. They don’t care. They’re off to find someone else to do this to again. They can’t fix what they’ve done because THEY WERE NEVER ACTUALLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP to begin with, you were. YOU were in a relationship ALL ALONE the ENTIRE time.
https://www.quora.com/Discarded-and-thrown-away-like-a-worthless-piece-of-garbage-by-someone-who-once-said-they-loved-you-can-be-horrible-How-does-it-feel-to-be-discarded-Help-others-know-how-does-it-feel-to-be-discarded-by-a-narcissist
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Why does a victim of narcissistic abuse
research the disorder relentlessly over
so many years?
Because being Narcissistically abused is such a mindflock, people cannot tell what actually happened and they want to know what actually happened, why and how.
Even equipped with the facts applying it to the tangled twisted surreal reality just experienced understanding takes time. Having the facts is one thing, understanding, acceptance and believing in it takes a few leaps of faith, a good cry or two before you get it right. Knowing and accepting the truth don’t always happens at the same time.
They are pretty shattered people, the more they know the more they can understand the details and everything about what they went thru. It is easier to heal with knowledge of what the hell just happened. They end up being very broken people, just how they got so broken becomes clearer the more that know.
They are also learning so as not to repeat the same mistake. I guess I should have said we, not they, I was injured through narcissistic abuse. I walk the road to recovery.
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I think there are many reasons why survivors may become ‘obsessed’ with reading about narcissism. It starts when you have your ‘light bulb’ moment, when you somehow realise what you have been dealing with and when all the pieces of your relationship (and your narc’s behaviour) suddenly fall into place. It was very sudden for me and my world changed in that instant. In my case, it was a friend who advised me to read up on narcissism while I was in the middle of a week-long silent treatment. I did just that and could not believe what I was seeing – my partner, described right there in black and white! A text book case study. I realised it all actually wasn’t me and I was not crazy after all (jealous, yes, but perhaps because of triangulation).
The fog started to clear and as much as it hurt, it was also a relief to be able to start making sense of things. To have clarity after two years of confusion. I was compelled to read and watch everything I could get my hands on about narcissism to understand him and our relationship (and my part in it). It was an education and four months on, it is still endlessly fascinating to me just how similar the traits and behaviours of narcs are. How so many of us have had the same experiences, even down to hearing the exact same phrases.
Information is power…and you have to take your power back when dealing with a narc. Not only is it important to learn about narcissism so you don’t repeat the same mistakes (in my case, with a romantic partner) and end up with another narcissist, but it is also important to know about narcs if you have to work or associate with one, so you can better learn how to deal with them.
From a recovery point of view, there is no doubt I feel less alone reading about other people’s experiences of narcissism and healing from narcissistic abuse. It is helpful to know that others have been through the same experience. I have never felt as alone as when I was in a relationship with my narc-ex and it is comforting to know there are good people and empaths out there; we are not alone.
Your mind is so screwed over by involvement with a narc, learning about it all can hopefully undo some of that damage and help you to move forward. I was left emotionally devastated after my relationship. Reading about narcissism has helped me stick to no contact and remind me why I left, why I survived six weeks of hoover attempts and why I cannot go back. Knowledge and shared experiences have proved to be such a support to me over the last few months.
As much as I think it may eventually hinder my ongoing healing to continue to read and write about narcissism (because it means I am thinking about him), I am sure I will be doing it for quite some time yet. I feel like I have been changed forever by the two year relationship I have not long come out of; I see the world in a completely different way now that I know narcissists walk among us. I am not sure I trust my judgement anymore, even though I can probably spot a red flag from a mile away and even though my instinct and intuition were practically screaming at me from the very start of my relationship.
Reading about narcissism has taught me a lot about myself too – what made me easy prey, why I put up with his behaviour and allowed myself to be treated so badly. I hope my experience helps me to grow into a better person - for others and myself. I also think that obsessively reading about narcissism is the brain trying to find a way to reach acceptance.
I was addicted to my narc, I knew I was before I even learnt about narcissism. I wrote in my diary ‘I am obsessed with him and that just can’t be right’. The very fact survivors’ brains have potentially been rewired by emotional manipulation can put us in an obsessive state of mind. We go from obsessing about one thing to obsessing about it in another form (I have gone from obsessing about my narc to obsessing about narcissism. I don’t deny it…and I do still obsess about him too).
My friend has told me I need to stop reading about it all, but I don’t think she really understands how important it is or why I feel the need to continue with it – you never stop learning. I have found ruminating to be an incredibly difficult thing to overcome since I split up with my ex and I suppose reading about narcissism helps channel all those thoughts to be a bit more focused in my recovery.
Learning and reading about narcissism not only helps us heal through understanding (about what has and is happening to us), it also protects us in the future and, hopefully, we can help others who may be experiencing narcissist abuse.
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The abuse is done in a callous and insidious way that the victims are unable to comprehend the person they love was the very person that broke them. The pain of betrayal can linger for years even after the abuse. It is also to heal ourselves that no matter how well we manage the relationship, the abuse will still not stop. No matter how much we love them, it will not change them. Nothing about it is authentic and it is painful for the part of the victims because the person that should protect us became our abuser.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-victim-of-narcissistic-abuse-research-the-disorder-relentlessly-over-so-many-years
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What are the red flags
of a female narcissist?
Oh, venturing into the realm of narcissism, are we? Don't worry; I've got your back. Let's roll up those sleeves and dissect the colorful mosaic that is the female narcissist. And remember, while we're delving into stereotypes for illustrative purposes, it's essential to note that not all narcissists fit neatly into these boxes, regardless of gender.
1. Charm Offensive: When you first meet her, she'll dazzle you with her charisma. It's like she's on a permanent stage, and everyone must adore her. But here's the twist: this charm is typically a gateway to manipulation.
2. Never Wrong: Oh, didn't you get the memo? She’s infallible! Any mistake, any flaw, any hiccup—it's never her fault. It's the world against her, poor thing.
3. Validation Vacuum: Compliments. Praise. Admiration. Feed her ego, or face the wrath of her cold shoulder.
4. Jealousy Justified: If someone else shines, even for a split second, she'll be the first to cast a shadow. Every success story is a threat, unless, of course, it's her own.
5. Drama Queen: If life was a soap opera, she's the perennial lead. Everything is blown out of proportion. Remember, she thrives in chaos and conflict.
6. Empathy? What's that?: Genuine concern for others? Pfft. Not in her dictionary. She's more likely to lack empathy and focus solely on her own feelings and needs.
7. History Revisionist: Facts are mutable in her world. She'll twist, turn, and reshape events to fit her narrative. The reality? Optional.
8. The Disappearing Act: When things don't go her way, expect silent treatments, ghosting episodes, or dramatic exits.
While it's essential to recognize these flags, remember that true understanding comes from observation and pattern recognition, not one-off instances. Be wary but fair. Identifying a narcissist isn’t about finger-pointing but rather understanding and safeguarding one's own well-being. And, just to sprinkle in some final wisdom: always approach relationships, whether platonic or romantic, with a balance of intuition, understanding, and boundaries.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-red-flags-of-a-female-narcissist
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What can stop a narcissist from living in a fantasy?
At a young age, the narcissist decided reality was humiliating, unfair, full of shame and failure, and so they retreated into the world of fantasy, never to be seen again.
Fantasy is how they deal or rather, don't deal with the shame that comes from mistakes. They're never wrong, it's always someone else's fault, they're always good, and out there, outside the spot behind their eyes, is the bad.
When you are three years old, you can't read Joseph Campbell.
There is no hero journey in this fantasy, no belly of the beast in which to be challenged, thwarted, tested, no emerging with insight or anything of value. Just constant indulgent rewrites to make the lead character always look good no matter what they do. Being perfect, the narcissist never makes mistakes. If anything bad happens the world is to blame, you are to blame, the weather, their food, the boss, the barking dog, their digestive tract, anything but their decisions created the mess.
Nothing is their fault, but every success however is due to your Fearless Leader.
In their fantasy the good that is done by others, is done by you, is due to them. Thus, it is owed to them and they covet it furiously. It is theirs! Everything they want is theirs! Everything they don't want - that belongs to you!
Narcissists lack something four year olds have - Theory of Mind.
The narcissist has not developed the ability to see you as a separate entity. You an extension of them, part of the primordial swamp that makes up the narcissist.
You don't think, you don't feel, you do not exist - you either function as the narcissist wishes (slavish adoration) or with hate as their cudgel, they will beat you back into line.
The way you should be. The way you are in their mind.
There is no mind but the narcissists mind, there is only their will, their opinions, their thoughts, and a wicked, rebelling universe that must be punished. Everything is wrong.
Disorder? More like absolute f*cking bedlam.
It is only when the wheels inevitably come off the particular fantasy scenario they are running (I am about to become a rockstar, but why when you challenge me to play a song am I unable?) that reality intrudes, shame overwhelms them, and it dawns on them, momentarily who they are.
They're a crummy, manipulative person that only thinks about themselves.
Forcing them to face up to their bad behavior will temporarily chasten them, but before long, the writers of the show regroup and brainstorm up a new format entirely. It's time to explain away the fact that the character playing the lead man, who was to be perfect and the eternal lover has suddenly changed genders, and the show has moved from the local bar to a foreign country - what was once a sedate blue collar comedy in a run down part of town is now a racy lesbian thriller in the desert.
The shameful chapter is hurled into the bin, along with all the useless and disappointing characters that caused it to fail, and the narcissist begins to dream again once more.
If it doesn't work out, and the ratings are a bust, they're entitled to return, and be clumsily rewritten into the show, to take up where they left off.
What the hell just happened?
https://www.quora.com/What-can-stop-a-narcissist-from-living-in-a-fantasy
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How are grandiose
fantasies experienced
by a narcissist?
Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder live in a world of roleplay, they just never let you know your true role.
You are lured in with false hope of something very real and beautiful, but this is just the first act, to deceive you. You are not their hero, for they are always the hero — you are the villain.
It is essential that you are the villain, for their foul scenes are cruel and capricious, and no relationship can withstand the nonsensical and repetitive drama and remain healthy. The narcissist is unwilling to take blame for your destruction, as they twist you to and fro to Duke their grandiosity — they are a god to you, as bow and scrape, praying for that initial character to return.
Refuse to play with narcissists, go and play alone instead. This is something the narcissist cannot do, they need an endless string of dupes to torture, because they are biologically, neurologically unable to generate good feelings about themselves. These come instead from their power to hurt others. You can make good feelings by yourself, by doing beautiful things. Narcissists do not understand beauty, only vainglory, self-indulgence, envy.
Their cold, dead hearts will never know the warmth of love, and the curtains will one day close forever on the narcissist’s ugly, wasted life.
Your show will go on.
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Narcissistic grandiosity and narcissistic vulnerability to the layperson, narcissism is most often associated with conceited, arrogant, and domineering attitudes and behaviors (Buss & Chiodo 1991), which are captured by the term narcissistic grandiosity.
This accurately identifies some common expressions of maladaptive self-enhancement associated with pathological narcissism. However, our definition of narcissism combines maladaptive self-enhancement (e.g. grandiosity) with self, emotional, and behavioral dysregulation in response to ego threats or self-enhancement failures (e.g., vulnerability).
This narcissistic vulnerability is reflected in experiences of anger, envy, aggression, helplessness, emptiness, low self-esteem, shame, avoidance of interpersonal relationships, and even suicidality (Kohut & Wolf, 1978; Krizan & Johar, 2012; Pincus & Roche, 2011; Ronningngstam 2005b). In recent years, recognition of both grandiose and vulnerable themes of narcissistic pathology has increasingly become the norm (e.g. Kealy & Rasmussen, 2012; Levy, 2012; Miller et al., 2011).
Reviews of clinical literature on narcissism and narcissistic personality pathology over the last 45 years have identified more than 50 distinct labels describing variability in the expressions of pathological narcissism (Cain et al., 2008; Pincus & Lukowitsky, 2010).
The Oxford book of psychopathology concluded that two broad themes of narcissistic pathology, labeled narcissistic grandiosity and narcissistic vulnerability, could be synthesized across the literature with varying degrees of emphasis.
Clinical theorists have employed these themes to describe the core aspects of narcissistic dysfunction through defects in self-structure (Kernberg 1998; Kohut 1977), difficulties in the therapeutic relationship (Gabbard 2009, Kernber, 2007), and maladaptive coping and defensive strategies used in response to stressors (Masterson, 1993 (Ellinors favorite)).
Some of the little guys are paranoid too. Especially when they know they can’t hide and dodge accountability and are up against something that can hold them accountable. That scares them a bit. Especially when they know it to be true but still continue to lie to themselves about it. They will dream all sorts of scenarios but cannot stop with campaigns to convince themselves of their grandiosity.
https://www.quora.com/How-are-grandiose-fantasies-experienced-by-a-narcissist
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Would a narcissist ever consider killing you
if you expose them?
The narcissist is already slowly killing you. They are callously using your body in which to store their negative feelings so that they don't have to deal with them. This fills you with shame to dangerous levels; it taxes your body greatly to have to process the extra negativity.
You constantly expose the narcissist by being honest and puncturing their fantasy world. In return they punish you for telling the truth. Even if you don't tell the truth, they'll still punish you because they grt constantly exposed by reality too.
You don't always have to expose a narcissist, as the people around them may not believe you, or care. You do have to get away though, as they are poisonous people. If you are determined to expose them because they're doing something henious, make sure you are safe first. Like a drowning man, they'll cling to anyone and take them down too. You want to be well away from the blast radius. Perhaps you could even do it anonymously, months or years later.
If you haven't fixed your own weaknesses, you'll simply find another one, and repeat the process. Its important to take responsibility for your part in the charade too.
Trying to make narcissists love you is suicide.
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Most definitely and I speak from personal experience. In fact, you don't have to expose them for it to happen. All you have to do is annoy them at the wrong moment in time. I read about a narcissist recently who killed his girlfriend for stealing $4.00 from him.
Other prominent narcissists like Scott Peterson murdered his wife and unborn son because he wanted to have an affair. Charles Manson ordered his followers to murder people because he claimed the Beatles song Helter Skelter made him. Ted Bundy killed women simply because he enjoyed it. All of these men are believed to embody NPD.
My first husband who was a malignant narcissist, tried to kill me because I laughed at him. My last boyfriend who was diagnosed with NPD, held a gun to my head because I confronted him with concrete proof that he was having unprotected sex with strange men he met on Grindr.
Many people on Quora have shared their horror stories about surviving brutal attacks by narcissists. Anything, even trying to leave a relationship with one can provoke them.
To those innocents who believe that narcissists are just misunderstood people who like to look at themselves in the mirror, you need a reality check. There are many degrees of narcissism and while most may not commit murder, many of them do.
In fact, given the emotional immaturity, impulsivity, anger issues and total lack of empathy that is prevalent in NPD, I think it is possible for any narcissist to be capable of murder if they feel criticized or threatened.
Most likely, the only reason they don't is because they fear going to prison. Someone commented that narcissists aren't like sociopaths. They may, in fact, be a lot worse.
These are personality disorders and while most disordered people probably won't try to kill you, it needs to be recognized that they might. The majority of people who are murdered by their significant others never see it coming, do they? If they did, chances are they wouldn't be in the relationship.
If you have been threatened by a narcissist with violence, please take it seriously. They can and will kill if they feel justified.
https://www.quora.com/Would-a-narcissist-ever-consider-killing-you-if-you-expose-them
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Why do narcissists feel
good when they know they
have upset you?
Narcissists have a mental disability.
Their emotional development is stunted to early childhood.
They can’t regulate how they feel, or sooth themselves, just like little kids. And they need other people to validate them, entertain them and attend to their responsibilities.
Any strengths or good qualities you have, especially empathy and the ability to give and receive love, will make narcissists extremely jealous. They aren’t capable of admiration or of feeling inspired; those higher-level emotions are beyond their reach.
They can’t love themselves, let alone anyone else.
All of this makes narcissists ashamed of themselves.
But they can’t tolerate shame, since tolerance requires emotional intelligence.
Because they can’t process it, they have to project it.
Everything is all your fault!
They go into meltdown like a tantruming toddler with a shrieking face and a loaded diaper.
And all they can do is scream, kick, and pass their sh!t onto you.
It’s gratifying for narcissists if they can upset you. It temporarily relieves them from the fill of envy they’re containing.
And if you’re upset, that means you’re suffering too now like narcissists always are, and it will be because you’ve absorbed the narcissist’s misery.
Never let a narcissist think they’ve upset you. Use a calm sense of logic to respond to them, just like you would with little children.
This will trigger them into exposing themselves: when they can’t rile you, their mask will slip and then they’ll malfunction and lose their composure; glitching, twisting and spitting out insults and accusations like a broken robot discharging nuts and bolts.
But don’t stoop down to their level. Remain elevated and stick to the high road. Yours is a level narcissists can never attain, so long as you play to your empathy and self-acceptance as the strengths they are.
And if some narcissist does keep on at you, just thank them for outing themselves and saving you the work, then keep it moving.
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Because it confirms their belief that they have total control over you. In my personal experience, it seemed that she needed some sort of validation that I cared about her. ALL THE TIME! She would say and do things just to get a reaction out of me.
When it reached a point where I had nothing left to give, she started reaching out to her other sources for attention. I look back on it now and I know it wasn’t me. I gave her everything I had and it simply wasn’t enough. So, with all that said, know this…they will drain every single person that they possibly can and it never changes. I put up with the on and off again for 3 years and it almost killed me.
Don’t let them control you…it’s not worth it.
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Narcissists find a twisted sense of satisfaction in upsetting others, and this is particularly evident during occasions like holidays. Their behavior during these times is not just about causing a stir; it's about deriving a perverse pleasure from knowing they've not only upset you but also ruined an experience you could have enjoyed. This satisfaction is deeply rooted in their psychological makeup.
The emotional development of a narcissist is often likened to that of a young child. They struggle with regulating their emotions and soothing themselves, much like little kids. They rely heavily on others to validate them, entertain them, and even attend to their responsibilities. This dependency mirrors the way a child looks to adults for support and affirmation.
When it comes to strengths or qualities like empathy and the ability to give and receive love, narcissists often feel intense jealousy. These are qualities they can't fully comprehend or experience. They're incapable of true admiration or feeling inspired, as these higher-level emotions are beyond their emotional reach. It's a sad reality that they can't love themselves, let alone anyone else.
This internal conflict leads to a deep-seated sense of shame within narcissists. But handling shame requires a level of emotional intelligence that they simply don't possess. Unable to process these feelings, they project their shortcomings onto others, often declaring, "Everything is all your fault!"
Their reactions can be compared to a toddler in the midst of a tantrum, overwhelmed and incapable of dealing with their emotions in a healthy way. They lash out, attempting to transfer their inner turmoil onto those around them.
When a narcissist manages to upset you, it serves as a temporary relief from the envy and misery they constantly harbor. It's as if your distress allows them to offload some of their emotional burden. In their twisted view, your suffering becomes a shared experience; you're now enduring the kind of pain they feel constantly.
Dealing with a narcissist requires a strategy akin to handling a small, upset child. Maintaining a calm, logical demeanor is key. Just as you would with a child, responding to their outbursts without emotional engagement can be effective.
This approach often leads to a narcissist exposing their true nature. Unable to provoke a reaction from you, their facade starts to crumble, revealing the chaos and insecurity underneath. They might lose their composure, spewing insults and accusations, much like a malfunctioning machine unable to control its output.
However, it's important to remain above their level of pettiness. By embracing your empathetic nature and self-acceptance, you stand on a moral ground that narcissists cannot reach. This isn't just about avoiding their traps; it's about affirming your own strengths and maintaining your dignity in the face of their attempts to drag you down to their level.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-feel-good-when-they-know-they-have-upset-you
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WHERE THE NARCISSIST
CONTINUES TO GO WRONG
Where the narcissist continues to go wrong. The narcissist overplays their hand over and over again, thinking that no one will ever figure out who they are never realizing that people can see behind the mask, and not everyone that sees behind the mask, tells the narcissist that they know they are a narcissist.
The narcissist will find themselves isolated, desolate by themselves without a battery in their cell phone one day and they will look back at all the destruction and devastation all the relationships they have blown up and they will have a big price to pay. My hope is that you are healing you are moving forward.
You are becoming awakened and aware, educated and empowered and you are headed towards the pinnacle the mountain top of indifference where you no longer care about the narcissist or anybody from that period of time. Sending positive positive energy and abundance. Namaste.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRSDTiMwsyc
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What can you say to a
narcissist to make them
see who they really are?
Buy a big juicy burger, and dump out everything, so you are holding just the bun inside the wrapper.
Now, find a farm, and steal a big cow patty.
Insert this new beef product into the bun, add your narcissists favorite clowndiments, and wrap it back up.
Give it over to his entitled grabby little hands, and see how he likes the taste of betrayal.
Then tell him it’s bad enough that he’s a piece of shite, but cannibalism is over the line.
The point is, the narcissist will never accept what they are without deluding themselves into thinking it makes them special.
Narcissism really stinks.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/What-can-you-say-to-a-narcissist-to-make-them-see-who-they-really-are
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Are narcissists bad people?
Ooh what a tightrope.
Are they GOOD people?
Absolutely not.
They lie (constantly), they sleep around causing physical and emotional damage, they steal your energy, love and things. They deceive and manipulate, they do not love yet dishonour that word as it falls from their lips. They do not reflect, feel meaningful remorse and they DO NOT CHANGE. (NPD).
It troubles me to say, of all abuses, and abusers, these ones walk a devious shadow life where they won't destroy with swift violence (cleanly, painlessly, with murderous mercy) but will wound you endlessly with a grin and a hug and a hope or 2 - again and again and again (until you do the only sensible thing, which is bolt and never look back).
They take all that could be good - love, opportunity, promises, faith, trust, reality, peace, loyalty, innocence, commitment and smash your understanding of all of this and more. They'll undo your very soul.
And they do it all knowingly and deny it all in a heartbeat. Smiling.
Pain and falsehood is willingly, cleverly, gleefully, administered and once they're done with you, having learned a few more tricks, they'll do it to another, and another and another.
They are terrorists, they terrorise quietly, wreck lives, lead others to dark depths unimaginable and leave them drowning, whilst staring from the shore. If no one is looking, whilst whispering sweet sonnets, they'll push you under just enough that you remain visible. Just.
If badness exists (and it does) I can think of few lives more wrapped in it than theirs.
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Sadly, my answer needs to be yes. Although they do know right from wrong and potentially have a conscience - they have a profound ability to override it. They are VERY selfish, self-absorbed, spoiled, entitled, brat toddlers in an adult body. And unlike a toddler, they do have an adult brain that knows better.
They are pathological liars who often believe their own lies…so they rarely take ANY personal responsibility for their bad acts. And they BLAME everyone else for all of their problems and troubles (that THEY cause).
Because they are able to twist reality to fit what they want, they can be very dangerous to others, and really are capable of doing anything to anyone if they believe they can get away with it - and find scapegoats to blame.
So…”Are they bad people”?
You decide what you choose to call “bad”.
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OMG when I saw this I just had to answer!
ABSOLUTELY!
They are the worst people you will ever meet in your life. They serve NO positive purpose on this planet. They contribute nothing. They use people, take from people and their ultimate goal is to destroy anyone and everything that comes into their path. The have no good or positive intentions. Nothing positive will ever come out of their mouth.
Because when they are talking they are LYING! And I mean they will lie about everything. They will fabricate everything. Even the stories and smear campaign they have going on about you from the very beginning. Nothing in their lives is real. It is all a facade.
They don’t love.
They don’t know how to love. They pretend. They deliberately go out of their way to cut everyone in their lives up. Doesn’t matter who. They will cut up complete strangers just to make themselves feel better. They love nothing more than taking you from where you were when they met you to completely destroying you and everything you worked your entire life for.
It doesn’t matter what job they have. How much money they have. They will lie, cheat and steal from you. They will make false accusations to the police and any authority figure against you. Or any sucker who will listen. They will file fake restraining orders, take you to court, whatever it takes until your demise.
They would even love to see you dead.
That is how morbid they are. And tell you that you deserve to die.
Just so they can get sympathy from others at your own funeral. That’s just how sick and selfish they are! Everything they do is intentional and planned. So they will willfully knowing try everything to destroy you! And they will love every single minute of it.
So yes, they are scum that walk this earth horrible people. I can’t even call them human beings.
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Narcissist misses the boat on being people altogether. People are connected to other people through empathy, shared emotions, and common ground.
Narcissist have themselves. They are dangerous. They have no love in their heart. Lack of love is a definition of evil.
If there could be a way to positively identify them there should be a bounty on them. They in the least should be required to wear a scarlet N and stay away from the women, children and cattle.
I reread this month's after writing it comes off a little harsh. But after helping people who are totally shattered by narcissistic abuse and experiencing it my self I can’t say that I blame me. Going through life stripped of you ability to enjoy it, is a terrible waste.
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Actually, they are. I know that answer might sound like a simplification of a concept because I'm missing the nuances. I get it.
Yes, narcissists are bad people. Because if you look at the overall pattern, behavioral patterns, the consistency in their behavior and their personality, their objective is one, and that is to maintain their false self. But at what expense? At the expense of the person they are preying upon, hunting down, using, and abusing. In their fight with themselves, they sacrifice others without a second thought.
They use you like a doormat. They see you as a piece of furniture and replace you at any given moment. Yes, sometimes they are nice, but it's also for themselves. It serves their narrative, it serves their objective. It's not because of you.
Overall, their deeds are evil.
They ARE bad. :devil:
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-bad-people
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How do narcissists feel when
they see their victim suffering?
Narcissists can't independently feel good about themselves and require you to feel bad about yourselves for them to prove they are the grandiose person they present to the world. Narcissists make you suffer to feel better about themselves. Deep inside, narcissists live an empty and miserable life; they just can't see you being happy and doing good. Narcissists will find ways to make your life bitter.
Narcissists want to make you suffer because it gives narcissistic supply. Narcissists believe that when you don't obey them or threaten their image, they will punish you to make you suffer. They think they haven't done anything wrong by making you suffer.
For narcissists, everything is about power, control, and authority at the cost of your feelings and relationships. Narcissists want to treat you like a slave; they enjoy seeing you suffer.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-feel-when-they-see-their-victim-suffering-1
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7 Things You Must
Never Do With a
Narcissist
@helpinyerdasellavon
1 hour ago
Always expect the worst from a narcissist. Never believe a word they say but pay attention to what they do. They hate being exposed because it reveals who they really are. Keep away from them. This video is spot on, Danish!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v97H-6TecI
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How does shame
mold a narcissist?
Shame plays a paradoxical role in shaping a narcissist. While appearing outwardly confident and grandiose, narcissists often harbor a deep-seated sense of shame they desperately try to conceal. This underlying shame is critical to their development and significantly influences their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
HERE'S HOW SHAME MOLDS A NARCISSIST
1. Early Experiences and the Formation of Shame:
Narcissism often stems from early childhood experiences. While the exact causes are complex and varied, common themes include:
Invalidating Environments: Growing up in a household where their emotions were dismissed, ignored, or criticized, leaving them feeling inadequate and unworthy.
Conditional Love: Receiving love and attention only when they met specific expectations or performed well, teaching them that their worthiness was contingent upon external validation.
Abuse or Trauma: Experiencing emotional, physical, or sexual abuse leads to deep feelings of shame and a belief that they are inherently flawed or damaged.
2. The Shame Shield: Constructing a False Self:
To cope with this overwhelming sense of shame, narcissists develop a defense mechanism: constructing a false self. This false self is an idealized image of themselves – perfect, superior, and deserving of admiration.
It serves as a shield to protect them from experiencing the painful emotions of shame and vulnerability.
3. Maintaining the False Self: The Need for Narcissistic Supply:
The narcissist's false self is fragile and requires constant validation to be maintained. They seek out "narcissistic supply" – attention, admiration, and praise – to prop up their inflated self-image and avoid confronting their underlying shame. Any threat to their carefully crafted persona – criticism, failure, or rejection – can trigger intense guilt and lead to defensive reactions like rage, denial, or blame-shifting.
4. Shame Projection: Shifting Blame to Others:
Narcissists have difficulty processing and accepting their shame. Instead, they often project it onto others. They may accuse others of being inadequate, flawed, or responsible for their shortcomings. This projection allows them to distance themselves from their shame and maintain their sense of superiority.
5. The Vicious Cycle: Shame Perpetuates Narcissism:
The narcissist's reliance on external validation and their inability to process shame create a vicious cycle. Their need for constant admiration drives them to engage in behaviors that ultimately push others away. This rejection reinforces their underlying shame, perpetuating the cycle of narcissistic behavior.
In essence, shame is both a root cause and a driving force behind narcissistic behavior. It's a deep-seated wound that the narcissist tries to conceal and compensate for through their grandiose facade and manipulative actions.
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Narcissism is a shame-based disorder. Narcissists can't handle being shamed. Narcissists project their shame on you or on others. Narcissists don't want people to view them negatively. Narcissists think being wrong becomes weakness, which will be used against them. Narcissists don't understand that people can make mistakes, which is very common. Instead of rectifying their mistakes, they will blame, gaslight, deflect, lie, and deceive.
Narcissists project their shame on everyone. There is a reason why narcissists are so judgmental: narcissists believe people judge them like they judge people.
Narcissists have an inflated ego; they aren't going to admit the fact they have done wrong; if they do, then they experience extreme shame.
Narcissists wear masks to avoid being shamed; they just want to look perfect.
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Narcissists are highly sensitive to shame and will go to great lengths to avoid feeling ashamed or being seen in a negative light.
When faced with criticism, disagreement, or being asked to change their behavior, narcissists often react with defensive behaviors like blaming others, acting victimized, or seeking revenge.
Narcissists have a fragile sense of self that depends on constant external validation and admiration from others. They see themselves as superior and entitled, and cannot tolerate feeling ashamed or inferior. Shame threatens to expose the narcissist's true insecurities and vulnerabilities, which they work hard to conceal.
To protect their ego, narcissists will often lash out at those who make them feel ashamed. They may accuse the other person of being abusive or in the wrong, even if the narcissist was the one acting inappropriately. Narcissists are masters at shifting blame and playing the victim to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Shame also drives narcissists to tightly control their image and relationships. They may be overprotective and controlling with their children, not out of genuine care, but to prevent the child from developing into an independent person who could make the narcissist feel ashamed. Narcissists want to maintain the illusion of perfection and will hide any flaws or wrongdoing from others.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/How-does-shame-mold-a-narcissist
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What is the single most
dangerous aspect of being in a
relationship with a narcissist?
A narcissistic person is an unhealthy person, who does not view reality in a normal way. Being tied to one will ruin your life. It’s dangerous because life is precious.
1. They are often fearful, ù a lot of fear and stress in the lives of their partners.
2. They often feel entitled to have their way. So they psychologically punish their partner until they get their way.
3. They are often fake, insincere, and able to lie easily. So there is never really honesty or trust with their partner.
4. They are very shallow, lacking in sensitivity which causes lack of intimacy, so the partner is very lonely.
5. They are often extremely controlling. So the partner eventually loses their identity and becomes a compliant robot in order to avoid conflict.
6. They are often very hierarchical in their thinking and relating to others, so they claim to be superior, and the partner feels inferior.
7. They are often bullies. So the partner becomes an emotional punching bag or whipping post.
8. They are often manipulative and everything they do has an “angle” that benefits them. So the partner is with someone who is not authentic or genuine
.
9. They are often self-referential, and unable to see others as individuals. So they make poor parents with bad boundaries, seeing their children as possessions or objects.
10. They often feel empty, like they can never get enough, they are never satisfied. So they make their partners feel empty too.
11. They often like to play the martyr when they do something for others. So they make the partner feel like they are obligated and owe them something.
12. They often have the emotional maturity of a 3 year old child. So the partner must become accustomed to violent temper tantrums.
13. They often choose a partner because of the partner’s assets or positive attributes. So the partner was never really loved, or even known.
14. They often insidiously devalue a partner, carefully and surgically. So, the partner begins to believe that they are rather defective over time.
15. They are often judgemental and self righteous, regarding the lives of others. So the partner gets judged and shamed when she fails to do what the narcissist thinks she should do.
16. They are always behind their Dr. Jekyll mask in public. So the partner gets to be with Mr. Hyde behind closed doors. And Mr. Hyde is a monster.
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Narcissists are so toxic that they should be distinguished from merely toxic people.
They’ll toss a wrench into the machinery of your self-esteem and cackle while they’re doing it. If you haven’t experienced it, you cannot possibly understand, and I would not wish this “education” on anyone.
The effects can ripple into your friendships, professional life, future intimate relationships, everything.
You will waste up to several thousand hours of your future life brooding and analyzing, time you’ll never get back. Your circuits for evaluating good vs evil will be scrambled, potentially causing you to ignore good people for a while, or bend an ear to bad ones.
Do not spend an extra second in the presence of a narcissist. Asking “What can I do to change her, make her regret doing X or Y” is like juggling hand grenades. These people are so dangerous that your only concern should be whether you leave on foot, by car, bus, train or plane.
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Well you are basically opening yourself up to a person who has no other intention than to use you for their purpose and will do anything to achieve this goal!
The most dangerous aspect of that is this person has no shame, no guilt, no remorse and no consideration for you or your life during this process so you are practically in danger from anything at all times in their prescense!
The lying, manipulating, emotional abuse, gaslighting, cheating and etc are nothing compared to the fact this person actually gets pleasure out of doing the most evil and backstabbing hurtful things to someone whom they know actually cares about or loves them!
As crazy as it is and as crazy as some of the things they do, you may or may not be able to forgive them for some of these things over time with personal healing and etc.
But the one thing you can not forgive or overlook is the fact they did these things to you knowing you were genuine to them! In essence they mistook and took your kindness for weakness and used that against you in the most treacherous and manipulative manner!
And they would have continued to do this until you cut them out of your life! It's literally like having a bloodsucking leach attached to you and will not detach until you forcefully remove it and then dodge its return forever!
At the end of the day you lost time, effort, resources and emotional energy and these losses only matter to you, not them! So the most dangerous aspect of being in a relationship with a narcissist is that you were actually in a relationship with nothing more than a shapeshifter, a human mirror or honestly you were dating yourself or a clone!
The good memories you have also mean nothing to them and only exist in your head as a brutal reminder of the losses you can never regain or make up for!
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-single-most-dangerous-aspect-of-being-in-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist
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Are there narcissists who are so far gone that they don't even know they're narcissists and perhaps even think their VICTIMS are the narcissists?
Yes
First off they are victims of narcissists.
Second the disorder is such that it is baked into their personality.
That’s why they call it a personality disorder.
It is a disorder to protect the victim (narcissist) from shame.
They don’t know they have it unless they are higher on the spectrum and self aware.
There are many who are unaware they are narcissists but aware of the abuse they inflict.
It is a maladaptive coping mechanism that was learned to survive the abuse from childhood.
Other people who have suffered under this abuse came out differently.
As a survivor myself of decades of covert abuse from psychopaths within my family I don’t have any idea why I’m so called “Normal” or neurotypical..
The psychological community has basically written off personality disorders as permanent accept for Borderline Personality Disorder.
If this has changed, I would like to know.
There are only a few who are trying to reverse this trajectory.
Follow Dr. Elinor Greenberg here if you’re interested in learning more about this.
It is their responsibility to do something about this mess and she is trying to do something about it.
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Who narcissists say they are and who they are in reality never, ever is the truth.
Deep down they would know how evil they are, but they will never admit to that.
It serves them to gaslight us and project onto us.
If you are intent to keep someone your victim and have zero empathy inside you, would you not blame your victim for everything?
Stay safe and stay away from them please.
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Who you're describing are all over Quora and in life in general.
I've addressed this issue a whole lot and get alot of backlash from it from the so-called victims. these same victims actually know they're dealing with a disordered person and still want to do real physical harm to them. do a search on Quora for narc groups and you'll see names something like “how to hurt the narc”, “how to get revenge on the narc” etc. .
Who in their right mind wants to torture a disordered person? yet these people claim to be victims who are nothing like the narc who hurt them?
Yes, some narcs don't know they're narcs and some are called “lesser” narcs bc they know they're different and something is not right.
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Very commonly, yes. Although some self-aware narcissists have the ability to see the situation from a more objective lens.
The thing with narcissists is, they are so self-centered and have such a dominating ego, that they really cannot, for the most part, see past their own ego and self-interests.
What this translates into, is someone who does not understand that there are people with interests, feelings, opinions, wishes, outside themselves.
And if they do catch glimpses of such things, they don't care enough to hold onto the realization. They fall back onto thinking, everyone and everything, is an extension of them. The narcissist is the center of all things.
So, for instance, if the narcissist is in a relationship and they have to make a single sacrifice, a single compromise, then they will see themselves as the victim, even if the partner has made 100 sacrifices, 100 compromises, for every 1 made by the narcissist.
The narcissist simply can't see past the “me, me, me".
There is no “we", just “me" or “you serve me".
https://www.quora.com/Are-there-narcissists-who-are-so-far-gone-that-they-dont-even-know-theyre-narcissists-and-perhaps-even-think-their-VICTIMS-are-the-narcissists
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16900 Views
:banana:
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Why do narcissists disappear
like you never existed?
This is actually a good thing when they disappear!
To answer your question the disappearing is part of their abusive, and manipulative tactic. They lie, manipulate, and devalue people to the point of no return. Their behavior is not accidental it is very calculated by means of controlling or intentionally hurting their victim(s) and allows them to feel dominant and in control of every situation and outcome. They disappear because they’re entertaining other narcissistic supply which in most instances is someone else.
They disappear because they become, and or see you as no longer useful. They disappear like you never existed, because for some they actually convinced themselves that you never existed. This is what they do, and there is no need to take it personally because whatever they do is driven by their personality disorder.
Disappearing is how they communicate to you that you don’t matter but (you do matter).
Disappearing is their way to communicate to you that they no longer want you (though they need you).
Disappearing is their way to communicate that they don’t care (they don’t).
Disappearing is their way to communicate to you that they have found someone with better resources (narcissistic supply).
Disappearing is their way to groom you to chase after them, think/obsess over them, and to remain trauma bonded to them.
Disappearing is their way to communicate indirectly that they are passive-aggressive and lack emotional maturity.
Disappearing is their way to communicate to you that they don’t know how to communicate effectively, and it is easier for them to just unbrotherly walk away as if you never existed.
They believe disappearing is okay, because they objectify people. They will undoubtedly play with the hearts of others like a toy as a way to regulate their inner demons. They disappear without a trace or warning, because they’re having an insatiable appetite or desire for something that is impossible to satisfy.
Now, back to it being a good thing of them disappearing will work in your favor in the grand scheme of things. It may not seem that way when they walk away without a trace, and you may be looking for an explanation or closure that you will never get.
This way they can come back to pick up where things left off as if nothing ever happened. Narcissists can be very self-centered, entitled, and believe it is beneath them to owe you an explanation, so it is just easier for them to disappear. Your search for answers and closure can lead to more pain and wasted energy.
Consider their disappearance a gift of escape from a psychotic breakdown, constant emotional torture, and a lonely existence! Troubled souls run from the truth. May you know the signs, may you not remain a victim, and may you do whatever you need to do to protect your emotional-mental health!
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-disappear-like-you-never-existed
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MEMO TO: My loathsome Narc
-
What does a narcissist want
after a breakup?
Ooooo. They want so much.
They want your tears, your heartbreak, your pleas to give you another chance. They want to wake up to pages of rants of texts so they can leave them unread. They want you to physically embody the chaos, sadness and destruction they feel inside. The more you do that, the more they feel satiated.
They want to triangulate you against their new love interest. The new interest is being used to whip you up into a frenzy. You’re being used for the narc to assess how easy a target the new supply is. Will their love interest get competitive and territorial (big tick for the narc) or will they have healthy boundaries and firmly remove themselves from the drama (big no for the narc).
They want to retain access to you. So that they can toy with you/ block you/ unblock you/ hoover you/ continue to elicit things from you they find useful.
They want you to not move on.
They want you broken/ depressed/ unable to operate. As that validates to them that their devaluation of you was justified and that you are the loser they said you were.
They want to be able to lose themselves in the idealisation cycle with the new supply.
This part (I think) is hard work for a narc. They’re masking, they’re on best behaviour.
But they want a hard dick and they want to feel powerful. So in the background the role you play is to continue to be on the receiving end of their devaluation. The only way they can mask adequately to ensnare the new supply is to be letting off steam elsewhere (aka with the supply they have broken up with).
Part of this may be to come back and have sex with the person they have just broken up with. Narcs are disgusting and like dogs in heat. They’ll have sex with anyone if it serves them. And having intercourse with multiple supplies can at times serve them. So they want to be able to love bomb their new supply ‘you’re amazing, I’ve never felt this connection with anyone’ <<cue best behaviour of breakfast in bed>>.
That night they’ll be bedding the ex supply who is sobbing in gratitude and begging the narc not to leave. They’ll leave and head straight back to the arms of their shiny new toy.
These people are so messed up and manipulative.
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The narcissist wants you to beg and plead for the relationshit to continue, chase him, you apologize for his habitual cheating and betrayals, call him crying distraught telling him you can't live without him and he's the best thing in this universe so that little fragile ego of his will boost up through the roof.
The narcissist wants confirmation that you're so devastated pining away over him while he's out having the time of his life (very short-lived) with you're replacement. HAHAHAHA yeah that's what the delusional clown wants you to do. F*ck the narcissist and what he wants, kick his sorry ass to the curb with a permanent no contact and never allow him entry back into you're life if he ever is that stupid enough (which alot of them are) to attempt to contact you.
Narcy no longer exists and a beautiful life is coming you're way.
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Depends on who did the breakup.
If they did, then very likely they do not want anything. They are enjoying their new supply.
If you did, then it could become a shitstorm.
They will be angry, frustrated, depressed, and all of it is going to be your fault. And they will make you very clear of that. And if they can not reach you, they will try to reach you via, old friends, family, Anybody that kind of relates to you will be notified of your terrible behavior, how toxic you have been. Some of it will reach you, some of them will actually start to blame you for all the misery your ex is going through, because, let's face it, he/she was a master of manipulation in the first place.
All the literature is very clear about it, let it go… let it go… stay silent, no contact, even if you hear the most horrible things said about you, or that he is almost on the verge of being suicidal (which he very likely is not, but he needs the drama). What you could do is analyze how many flying monkeys he/she has been able to create. That will be a nice list of people you also do not want to have in your life anymore. Eventually, it is all about your peace of mind and body.
F*ck them. And move forward.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-want-after-a-breakup
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I think that people very often demonize narcissists. Do you actually understand that narcissists are human beings who need love like anyone else?
I think you may find a lot of people on this site that tried to their very own self destruction to “love that narcissist” you speak off.
You will also find the same people huddled in these chat forums talking about the aftermath of what their “love” cost them in the process as that narcissist ripped them a new anatomical conundrum just for their trying to love them.
You will find those same people who literally are re-building their very own fabric of self and what they thought humanity and human beings were as they re-build their self esteem and worth through the process of un-flocking themselves from the mental and emotional bs games that narcissists play.
Humans - sure, we are all souls here, having a human experience.. some of us just choose a funny way of giving and receiving “love” you know, by destroying others humanity.
Either way, I wish no narcissist any harm, I just wish to not engage with one ever again and that is to save my very own human being-ness as the last one I met nearly drove me over the edge of that fine line of sane to insane.
But, each to their own, we all have a path that we choose.
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Yeah I understand they are human beings. I've grown to understand they operate at a deficit, they are inhibited by their inability to see the person they claim to love. Narcissists are indeed burdened and like all of us, they did not ask for this life, but here we all are.
However, I'm autistic, what some might still describe as having aspergers, and at the time of meeting my first narcissist, I was undiagnosed and unaware of what made socialialsing so difficult for me.
I had just recovered from a period of isolation, something that had been periodically happening to me throughout adulthood, an autistic shutdown due to attempting to correct myself by socialising.
I'd agreed to go to a party with some seemingly well-meaning people, however I still found myself on the periphery of the party, the idle chit chat and usual back patting was going on. I knew I would only find myself stuttering while explaining my special interests, my special interest since my late teens has been anthropology.
Most people don't like discussing the material origins of what they believe to be their own unique decision, such as their choice of fashion or music taste. Most people don't like skeptics and I happen to operate from that perspective. I think it was Jarod Lanier that said “The critic only wants to suggest we improve”.
Anyway, alone by a big red candle I stood, when she first approached, a strange focus on her face, I could barely tell what it meant, such was my naivety. But she was beautiful, fair and beautiful - my lonely heart was immediately won.
I now understand, my willful exclusion was the first insight to my personhood, the first piece of the puzzle that would lead to my painful confusion, suicidal ideation and ultimately in hospital with years of recovery ahead of me. Our meeting did lead to my diagnosis, and insight to myself, and psychology of the self that will forever be invaluable to me.
Upon determining that I don't understand hints, I'm literal, and disguised sarcasm generally escapes me, the flood of memories concerning how she had treated me, how her brother had treated me, even the under-handed compliments from their mother - “you're stronger than you look” - utterly crushed me.
They used my goodwill against me, they intentionally confused me, even denying shared memories existed. My personhood, my special interests, things I'd explained in great detail to their lazy minds never happened, everything and anything was a product of their own excellence. The awful treatment traumatised me, perhaps parts of me are beyond repair, perhaps parts have become accentuated, it's still difficult for me to know.
Narcissists are burdened by loneliness, those who have been traumatised by a narcissist know a psychological burden akin to grief - it's very difficult to forget and because of that, it's very difficult not demonising their behavior in discussion.
Good luck.
_______________________________________
Don’t take this personally, but anyone who asks a question like this either has NPD or is just plain naive.
Understand this, there is much justification in the way someone feels who has been in a relationship with someone who has NPD, while at the same time there is no justification for the reason of the actions of the person with NPD that led to the person feeling this way.
What you are trying to convince others, is at the crux of why we can’t productively work on NPD tendencies. It has nothing to do with whatever love a person believes they can give another. This is where we have fooled ourselves. It is the biggest sham of existence.
The best anyone can do is to acknowledge and allow the love within another to be expressed. There is no giving or taking. If you do things in a way where you believe you are giving “love” to someone who has NPD, then you are in effect enabling their tendencies because they will only end up taking advantage of you. The best and only way to deal with people who have NPD is to not enable their tendencies. You do this by setting firm and consistently reinforced boundaries and not letting them take advantage of your kindness.
NPD or not, all anyone can do with regards to “love,” is to learn to love themselves and acknowledge and respect the love within others. You do not do this by allowing others to abuse you.
https://thedarkworldofnarcissistbysevinc.quora.com/I-think-that-people-very-often-demonize-narcissists-Do-you-actually-understand-that-narcissists-are-human-beings-who-ne
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When dealing with a narcissist, what happens if you refuse to play their games by refusing to give them any narcissistic supplies?
This happens, and this is something that confused the tf out of me for a minute, before I became aware.
<<<NARCISSISTIC RAGE>>>
I don't know about you but the word RAGE to me implies somebody losing their sh!t.
Ranting, screaming, yelling, out of control temper. That's what I always pictured whenever I heard this phrase. Not the cold, calculating, plotting contempt that I experienced from my ex.
He didn't express his rage this way. Instead, losing supply or facing rejection would make him go distant, he would use the silent treatment as an effective but deadly weapon, ghosting me for days, and then plot and scheme to get back at me later in weird ways that no one could anticipate unless their mind was as flocked up as his was, culminating in a nasty smear campaign.
His favorite game was plausible deniability. He was extremely intelligent and able to come up with a scenario that would make even the smartest person doubt their reasoning. His own personal way of letting his gaslighting freak flag fly. He knew how to target your areas of vulnerability with deadly accuracy, and was all the more dangerous for it.
It confuses you when you see someone being amicable and appearing friendly in their manner but saying words that are manipulative enough to mean two things. It can be difficult to recognize in that pattern of behavior the toxic shite coming out of their mouth.
If this is your situation…You are not crazy. Your gut instincts are not wrong. You're just with a manipulator like my ex that's been around for a bit and knows how to play most everyone.
Everyone but me anyways.
And now you.
https://www.quora.com/When-dealing-with-a-narcissist-what-happens-if-you-refuse-to-play-their-games-by-refusing-to-give-them-any-narcissistic-supplies
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Can a narcissist see their behavior if you showed them a list of all the typical behaviors of a NPD person? Are they capable of seeing themselves in this disorder?
If you try to get them to see themselves by showing them or telling them the typical behaviors of a 'disordered person', they may be 'capable' of 'seeing themselves', but not 'capable' of admitting they see 'themselves' in those behaviors.
You admitting TO a narcissist that you know the 'typical behaviors' OF a narcissist by 'showing' them a list or by 'telling' them what's on that list WILL usually put YOU at the top of THEIR 'list' of people to degrade, devalue, discredit, isolate, and project those behaviors onto.
They already KNOW those 'behaviors', see nothing WRONG with those behaviors as long as they are the person USING those behaviors and you just 'showed' them or told them that THEIR 'behavior' was WRONG. YOU are not supposed to 'think' or 'know' that THEIR behaviors are WRONG or even hint that YOU have 'seen' those behaviors in THEM. A narcissist TELLS YOU what THEIR 'behaviors' are and that is all YOU are supposed to 'see' or 'know'.
If you're 'showing' a narcissist a list of 'typical behaviors' or 'telling' them what's on the list of 'typical behaviors' of a 'disordered person', YOU better be talking about somebody besides THEM and not even give THEM a hint that you've 'seen' those behaviors in THEM, UNLESS you are fully prepared to get the hell away from THEM for good or you WANT to 'see' just how 'disordered' they really are or a hell of a lot of WRONG 'behaviors' that are NOT on the 'typical list'.
Been there, tried that, found out what a narcissist is 'capable' of and it didn't include 'seeing themselves'.
Bad idea.
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-narcissist-see-their-behavior-if-you-showed-them-a-list-of-all-the-typical-behaviors-of-a-NPD-person-Are-they-capable-of-seeing-themselves-in-this-disorder
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Narcissists Believe They Are The Victim
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bIJmEC-zHA
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Why Narcissists Ignore Problems
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NI78pzYcag
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Why Narcissists Are Dangerous
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIk72D5Sy-U
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Narcissists Are Cowards
(THIS Is What They Fear Most)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PijDSGl7Gp8
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Dealing With Narcissists: The Punishment Never Ends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkzCshBGYeU
They will always find a way to hurt you. They are always right and you are always wrong. It never changes.
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Narcissists Play Power Games
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Zq5fVPtx0
Everything a narcissist does is a power play. Whether they’re manipulating you, devaluing you or even discarding you. Even when they’re playing the victim or triangulating you, they’re still just seeking power. And it’s because they’re very weak and insecure. So that they can’t generate their own power from within.
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The Narcissist's False Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7106hZyR6Z0
Page 12
550 Replies
17517 Views
:motorbikeride:
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Narcissists and Splitting: Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde and More
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7EJbqoaf98
@BEEBEE159
3 years ago
I always maintained my ex-wife's cars throughout our 25 yr marriage. I don't trust "professional" mechanics, and I ALWAYS maintained and repaired her cars myself. When she was discarding me, she told me that I never fixed her cars, ever. I was shocked when she said that; but the way she looked when she said it, her body language and everything.
I could tell that she really believed what she was saying. That was the strangest thing in the world to me...how I could take care of her cars for 25 yrs, and she believes it never happened. These people are crazy, no doubt, and a danger to society.
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Are narcissists good listeners?
Absolutely not. During the love bombing phase, a narcissist will listen to you carefully to learn about your life because they want to use your weaknesses and information against you. Once the love bombing phase is over, they don't listen to you properly.
Narcissists don't care about your feelings or life, so they aren't interested in listening to you at all. Narcissists want you to listen to their lives, orders, and activities. Narcissists want you to hear everything they say carefully, or else they get angry and frustrated.
Although narcissists will listen to you sometimes when they want information about you, someone, or some conversation that benefits them, Narcissists will just walk away or pretend to act busy, or they will act like they didn't listen to you or ignore you when you have to share, discuss, or tell them something.
https://thedarkworldofnarcissistbysevinc.quora.com/Are-narcissists-good-listeners
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When A Narcissist Thinks
You Can't Be Swayed Easily, This Is How They Employ
Their Tactics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1GXwO-VPGU
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4 Reasons Narcissists
Are Abusive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=io1tj6zuMUg
@Axess-sv8nq
5 years ago
I honestly think they enjoy hurting people. Every one of the Narcissists I've had the misfortune to deal with in life were very amused by other people going through a hard time or being upset. It's sick.
@manapeace
11 months ago
If my family had a motto it would be “Give me what I want or I will punish you”.
@Healinglove
2 years ago
Mine was a perpetual victim of his childhood.
Feel sorry for me, ALL the time. Delusional sickos!
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They don't understand their reality is fake. They are completely opportunistic whatever benefits them.
Narcissists Deny Facts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIxwHXCw33Q
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
She told me "You don't have any Rights!"
@eajosephedward
5 years ago
Or they'll say I don't remember or I don't recall
@_k911
5 years ago
I like to call it, “selective amnesia”...
@michaelsmedberg8447
5 years ago
The "feelings are facts" describes these toxic people so well.
@rodotoledo2034
11 months ago
“inject a police officer into the situation and see how fast the
narcissist gets control of themselves” I know that too damn well!
@Nancy-yw1rr
3 years ago
I have witnessed this behavior literally thousands of times. What I don't understand is how they can deny truths you can actually present proof of to them. It literally makes them look crazy.
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Understanding Narcissistic Rage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBWgBmmiJqM
@crencottrell7849
3 years ago
I've dealt with narcs when they exhibited narcissistic rage...they TRULY acted evil/hateful/demon-possessed and the amount of anger/hatred/vindictiveness was ALWAYS disproportionate to what they were angry about
@nykkirshade7219
1 year ago
They antagonize you, manipulate you, and push you to see if you’ll react. If and when you take the bait, and react to their abuse, they will rage! They will freak out!
@tedschmitt178
4 years ago (edited)
Regular narcissistic rage takes on a whole different dimension when the narcissist has had a few drinks. Any self control they normally have goes out the window.
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:tello: "If you appreciate my work, I will appreciate your input."
-
What's the best way
to live with a covert
narcissist?
There is no best way to live with a covert narcissist. There is no best way to live with any narcissist.
If you don’t mind becoming a shadow of your former self, being dismissed, diminished, marginalized, abused, ignored, mistreated, demeaned, devalued, confused, unloved, unappreciated, and used in every way the narcissist can conceive of, then you will be able to exist with them.
However, it won’t be living…not by a long shot.
They will constantly be vying for the upper hand in everything. They will maneuver and scheme to gain control and dominate you. They will do this at your expense. You will always be paying and they will always be stealing something of great value to you (your identity, your career, your time, your talents, your relationships, etc.) and from you in order to maintain any kind of relationship with them.
A narcissist really doesn’t care what it costs you to be in a relationship with them. They don’t even care if it costs you your life.
It’s just not worth the effort and investment. You will come up on the short end of the stick and leave with less than what you started with.
Thanks for the A2A.
___________________________________________
Keep everything to yourself. Do not divulge any personal information. Lie about your life and tell them you're having a difficult time. Be completely vague.
Act like you're a failure. Act sad. When you act this way they won't try their manipulations on you as much. You feeling bad makes them feel good and like they don't have to make you feel bad because you already do. Remember this, narcissists feel much better when you feel bad.
Agree with all the terrible things they say about others. This makes them feel you are on their side. This will keep them from triangulating you with other people.
Be completely stoic. Never react emotionally to anything they say, NOT EVER.
If they devalue you or belittle you just make believe like you never heard them say anything. Never directly confront a narcissist and especially a covert narcissist. If you directly confront one of these people they will put you in an early grave.
Do not bring up the news or a negative topic. If you do they will grab onto this like it's a nugget of gold. Then they'll get you and the rest of the group emotionally entwined and make everybody upset in the process. They love to watch you get emotionally involved in trivial things. It gives them a sense of absolute power. And if somebody else brings up the news or another topic, just listen and don't say anything. Or of course if they directly ask you just agree with them on everything they say.
Do not put up boundaries. If you hear somebody tell you that you need to put up boundaries with the narcissist they don't really don't have much experience with narcissists. If you have to deal with one you deal with one in a way that is completely indirect. The time you put up boundaries is if you noticed that the person is a covert narcissist and then you can completely avoid them if at all possible. Never ever directly talk to a narcissist about issues you have with them as they will make sure to destroy you. And this makes no difference if you’re family, husband, wife, relative..etc.
The absolute best way to deal with a covert narcissist is to not deal with them at all.
You spot them and then you know how to act around them if you absolutely have to be around this person.
And then you make sure that you keep them at an arm's distance or completely out of your life if at all possible.
Remember, the best way to deal with the narcissist is to cut them out of your life.
There's nothing you can do or say that's going to make any difference.
https://www.quora.com/Whats-the-best-way-to-live-with-a-covert-narcissist
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:tello: You sent
It's about Sherry and her evil plan right now!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4SCqkWiV1M
Kat
I saw her at post office she didn't see me she was trying to get Paul to forward her mail he said no she asked again he said no.... hahaha saw her new boyfriend.
You sent
It's a mess. Stand by...
Kat
she runs him around like a kid hahaha
stand your ground do it legal
You sent
Oh I am legal
Kat
good haha sheri
You sent
new guy is a sheep
Kat
just keep your doors locked so she doesn't pull some sh!t.. i don't trust her
You sent
lost his personality
Kat
yes he is poor idiot
You sent
he signed up for it
Kat
just wait
You sent
needs to hand over his Man Card
she will toss him soon enuff
Kat
lol
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And in other news......
-
How And Why The Narcissist
Plays The Reverse Discard
On You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPdKj9URcp4
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The more logical your solution is, the more
they will punish you for suggesting it.
Why You Can't Help Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPmxw3s-Z3A
@beth8275
1 year ago
People that have no business being in relationships. They are just beyond impossible
@Nancy-yw1rr
1 year ago
You can't help anyone who won't accept new information.
@byefelicia7736
1 year ago
TRUTH!! 1000%. There is NO reaching them. No matter how nice you say something, how genuine you are being, in how many different ways you TRY desperately to explain something or offer a solution, how much evidence you present, it does not matter. They will not accept it. If they feel something, its fact to them. Period. It is extremely crazy making and frustrating.
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"They don't move on, they move away."
Narcissists Cannot Move On
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CGFxaSQdFU
@Langolin1998
2 years ago
They can recall things that were done to them years ago, but if you try to discuss something they did minutes ago, they don’t remember or act like everything is just fine.
@kamikatz12
2 years ago
"You are a tool to help regulate their emotions." Wow.
@shelley7975
2 years ago
They are definitely stuck in time and there is absolutely no way to move them forward. They don't want to change.
@ctgal9698
2 years ago
They are stuck and live in their past. Emotionally stunted=Emotionally draining individuals. The repetitive storytelling and 'woe is me', feel bad for me mentality will deplete you of any sanity you have when you remain in their presence.
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Narcissistic Relationships:
The Art of War,
The Art of Not Reacting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ve5GEW01cEw
This is a healthy tool for everyone, not just useful in toxic dynamics.
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Do you think a narcissist is evil,
or do you think they’re
just damaged?
They're extremely evil, and here are some reasons why:
1. They lack a conscience and remorse.
Due to narcissists' lack of empathy, likely they don't have any conscience or remorse, and that is also one of the reasons they do evil things. The narcissist is not aware of the pain they cause you and others. They don't feel remorse, guilt, or shame when their actions hurt others.
If they care about other people, it is only to exploit them for what benefits them most. Their sense of entitlement is too high for them to feel guilty or ashamed. That is why if you know someone who reflects this behavior, you know what they can do and what they're willing to do just to save their face. If that's the case, you have to leave them right away.
2. They are incapable of empathy.
Empathy allows us to feel compassion for one another and would help us treat each other with kindness and respect. It's also a key component of healthy self-esteem. Without it, we cannot value ourselves or others as worthy human beings, which most narcissists lack. The very definition of narcissism is the inability to empathize with others.
Narcissists cannot see things from another person's perspective. They lack emotional awareness. They can't put themselves in someone else's shoes. They're often incapable of feeling compassion or sympathy for other people, which makes them selfish and self-absorbed. And because they tend not to think before they act, narcissists are prone to doing stupid things that hurt other people and then blaming those people for their behavior.
3. They have an inflated sense of entitlement.
Narcissists have a high sense of entitlement, which is why they feel entitled to abuse their victims. They think it's okay to do whatever makes them happy, even if it hurts other people.
Narcissists don't care about anyone but themselves and their needs. They use others as tools to fulfill their desires. They often do this with complete disregard for the other person's feelings.
They see others as objects to be used and discarded and don't care what happens to the people around them. When things appear like this, narcissists still likely do more evil things. The best way to avoid their cruelty is to stay away from them. You wouldn't like to get annihilated by someone like narcissists, right?
4. They are sadistic and enjoy inflicting pain on others.
Some narcissists are relatively ordinary and can adapt to how society works, but some of them, like Ted Bundy, are those narcissists who enjoy inflicting pain on others. Being feared by many makes them feel alive, even when they are just miserable beings. Worse is that they can do anything just to satisfy their desires, and once narcissists have had a taste of this, they are going to reach the point of no return.
So, if you ask, "Why do narcissists do evil things?" their sadistic tendencies are just one of the many reasons they do it. Do you have plans to be in a relationship with a narcissist? If so, I honestly ask you to think again and save yourself from unnecessary pain.
5. They are grandiose.
Narcissists think they are above the rules, so they break them just because they can. Their minds work differently than ours, and they can get distinguished as arrogant, but that's an underwhelming word to describe narcissists.
Self-confidence, a sense of grandiosity, is what fits them most. It means that narcissists think they are nobles or kings that can do anything they wish. Hence, they do evil things left and right. Sometimes there's no other reason to explain a narcissist's behavior. You just have to accept that they are the way they are supposed to be, and you just had to ensure they won't affect you in any of your schemes.
6. They are highly manipulative.
You must know they are clever and have many ways to get what they want. They will use whatever means necessary, including lying, cheating, and stealing, to achieve their goals.
The problem is that narcissists don't think about the consequences of their actions, even if it means hurting you. They only care about themselves. That is why they will make a fool out of you and trick you into believing their lies. This trait has been a significant characteristic of narcissists, and they won't quickly get it out of them.
Being manipulative became second nature for narcissists, which is also one of the reasons why they are doing evil things. Narcissists just don't know when to stop in their lives, and they won't ever entertain that thought because that only means they will lose their face.
7. They lack responsibility.
What most narcissists are afraid of is taking responsibility for their mistakes. They want all the fun but will immediately run off when taking the blame and facing the consequences. And when they become desperate to escape their mistakes, they are always ready to do evil things.
Their desperation not to be accountable for their actions is too strong that they lose their moral values. It's like escaping death for them because the second they get caught, narcissists' world will crumble. Do you still expect that they will change? Remember, it's not wrong to root for them, but it will eventually turn sour when you keep fooling yourself.
https://www.quora.com/Do-you-think-a-narcissist-is-evil-or-do-you-think-they-re-just-damaged
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How do you make a narcissist
fear you and respect you?
A narcissist has no respect for anyone. Respect is the basis of every relationship - that’s the key word. It is the foundation. Without it, no relationship can function.
A narcissist does not respect anyone. He pretends to respect, but deep in his twisted mind, he feels jealousy mixed with contempt and hatred. The narcissist believes that he is entitled to everything that others have and believes that he deserves it all. He believes that others do not deserve what they have and how much they have. A narcissist always feels hurt by having less than others.
The narcissist has an inferiority complex that he must constantly correct by devaluing, humiliating, ridiculing, and mocking other people.
The narcissist interprets respect based on the number of zeros in the account, and when he reaches that account, the zeros disappear and the respect along with them.
A narcissist’s words never match his actions. The only exception to this rule is when a narcissist shows disrespect through both actions and words.
The narcissist expects to be respected and admired, but he does not give this to others. The more you respect and admire a narcissist, the less respect he has for you. A narcissist knows who he really is, and when you buy into his mask, his lies and illusions, then he thinks you are a fool and has no respect for you. With each lie, he has less and less respect for you. The more you apologize, beg, forgive, accept more bad things, and let him come back. Not only is respect no longer there, but it has been trampled to the ground.
The narcissist has built a new foundation - contempt, and with each new lie, the level of this contempt increases. The narcissist ignored your needs and your opinion, drove you crazy, didn’t answer your calls, blocked you, disappeared, didn’t keep his promises. This is all completely disrespectful.
A narcissist needs a servant and a slave to whom he will not have to pay or thank you.
The narcissist treats you like an object. The problem is that even objects are treated with respect. For a narcissist, any item can end up in the trash at any time. If someone doesn’t respect you, do you give them your time and attention? Do you give them your all? ...NO . You end the friendship, and you don’t want to see that person anymore, and that’s what you need to do with a narcissist
A narcissist does not respect your decisions. He does not respect your feelings, and you are not an authority for him in any field. For a narcissist, you are simply a socket that he has plugged into and draws power from, and he can plug in somewhere else at any time.
Does a narcissist respect other people?
For show...yes, but what does he do as soon as that person leaves? Isn’t he gossiping about this person..?
What he says about others will one day be said about you. A narcissist likes to minimize your merits and achievements and exaggerate his own.
Respect is when someone puts themselves in someone else’s shoes. Does a narcissist respect you when he deliberately tries to make you jealous? Does a narcissist respect you when you need something, when you need help, or when you are sick?
When your relationship with a narcissist is over, you must respect yourself enough to not allow yourself to be even more disrespectful - which is to allow the narcissist to come back into your life. The narcissist took advantage of you and abandoned you. This is the greatest lack of respect that should eliminate the narcissist from your life once and for all and make him non-existent for you.
You need to close this chapter of your life once and for all.
Why would you want to be with someone so hopeless, who has no respect for you at all?
Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
Respect yourself enough to never let a narcissist get close to you again. A narcissist has no respect for anyone, and if he gives the impression that he does, it is only because he wants to get something A narcissist is a parasite, and a parasite has no respect for its host, it attaches itself to it and only takes it against the host’s will and knowledge.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-make-a-narcissist-fear-you-and-respect-you
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Why do narcissists like
negative reactions so much?
Why do they feel in control
with them?
Narcissists prefer positive as well as negative responses; narcissists favor negative reactions more. Narcissists can't survive without narcissistic supplies. Narcissists feel extremely good when they get positive attention, admiration, compliments, appreciation, and validation. Positive attention regulates the self-esteem of narcissists.
For narcissists, negative supply is more important. Most of the time, narcissists prefer negative restriction because it makes them feel power, control, and authority. Narcissists destroy the lives of victims to get negative attention. Narcissists need negative attention around the clock. Narcissistic abuse happens because narcissistic people crave negative reactions all the time.
https://narcissistlies.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-like-negative-reactions-so-much-Why-do-they-feel-in-control-with-them
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What happens to an aging narcissist
when the supply is not what it once was?
When an aging narcissist finds that the sources of narcissistic supply are not as abundant or fulfilling as they once were, it can lead to various reactions and behaviors. Here are some common ways in which aging narcissists may respond to a decline in narcissistic supply:
Increased Aggression or Anger: When a narcissist's need for admiration, validation, and attention is not being met to the same extent as before, they may become more irritable, aggressive, or prone to anger outbursts. This can be a way for them to try to regain control or assert dominance over others.
Depression or Anxiety: A decline in narcissistic supply can also lead to feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, or anxiety in aging narcissists. They may struggle with a loss of identity or purpose if they are no longer receiving the external validation they crave.
Seeking New Sources of Supply: Some aging narcissists may actively seek out new sources of narcissistic supply to compensate for the decline in their usual outlets. This could involve forming new relationships, engaging in attention-seeking behaviors, or trying to boost their self-esteem through other means.
Isolation or Withdrawal: In some cases, aging narcissists may withdraw from social interactions or isolate themselves if they are not receiving the level of attention or admiration they desire. This can be a way for them to protect their fragile self-image or avoid facing the reality of their declining status.
Adaptation or Change in Behavior: While it may be challenging for a narcissist to change their behavior patterns, some aging narcissists may undergo a degree of self-reflection and personal growth as they confront the limitations of their usual coping mechanisms.
This could involve seeking therapy, developing more meaningful relationships, or finding fulfillment in activities that do not revolve around seeking external validation.
It's important to note that individual responses can vary widely, and not all aging narcissists will exhibit the same behaviors when faced with a decline in narcissistic supply.
Additionally, changes in narcissistic behavior can also be influenced by factors such as underlying personality traits, past experiences, and the presence of other mental health issues.
________________________________________
They age ungracefully. If they have money, they buy their supply and companionship - including inappropriate relationships with partners much younger than them.
Often they will go to restaurants, hotels and holidays where they can be waited on - hand and foot - and gain supply from this. (This is the only time I have seen them be “nice” to what they perceive as minions.) They will start splashing out on their “harem”.
Addictions increase - be it prescription drugs, alcohol, excessive and obvious extravagance.
They try desperately to re-capture their youth and looks. They gym compulsively and crow about it, they wear clothes more suited to a teenager (especially women), makeup and makeovers become essential - as do expensive “anti ageing” meds. Plastic surgery?
(Narcissists and cosmetic companies selling anti ageing concoctions - now there’s an area for serious research? Do you think these companies research and actively target the NPD market?)
They flirt outrageously (and sadly) with young people. My ex would flirt with our daughters’ boyfriends - to everyone’s extreme discomfort.
They become bitter - criticism of anyone younger, healthier, or prettier than them that was a reminder of their age - is common.
They hearken back to the “good old days”. Always.
Unless they can capture someone who will be able to tolerate their growing toxicity for the rest of their life - they usually end up being lonely. They have usually destroyed any familial or friendship bonds.
They start reaching out to ex-supplies - children, ex-partners, family - all those victims they maintained on their list of “toys” that they kicked to the curb.
They fade out with a whimper……a sanctimonious martyr like a whimper, attempting to extract the last drops of supply from eliciting sympathy.
This is their karma.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-to-an-aging-narcissist-when-the-supply-is-not-what-it-once-was
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How do narcissists
trap you?
At the beginning, the narcissist is all in.
You can do no harm. You are idealised. You are love-bombed. You are the best thing since sliced bread. Actually, you are better, you are in a league of your own.
The flattery... the intoxicating feelings... the euphoria... the purpose of all that, is to pull you right on in. Yes, the narcissist is all in at the beginning, because they are trying to draw you "all" in.
And once you are all in, once you are emotionally dependent on the narcissist, strongly bonded to the narcissist, then the narcissist releases that long sigh of relief.
Gotchaaa
They have you right where they want you. Their initial investment has paid off.
And, come to think of it, you are no longer so fun anymore in their eyes, but they still want to have lots of fun with you.
Time to pump you up, to take you down.
Time to uplift you, to watch you fall.
Time to get you expecting, so they can withhold.
Time to push you away, from all that is precious to you.
The devaluation... the soul destroying devaluation, starts hitting you left, right, center.
There is no break, it is a constant, even when the narcissist is afar.
The best you can do if you found out you are dealing with a narcissist, is beat them at their own game.
The idealization was all good, but you realize the person is a narcissist?
Get out while you are ahead. Take the idealization and run.
Give them the good ole discard, and don't look back.
__________________________________
1. Love bombing.
Narcissists have had years of practice. They're good at reading people; they know how to manipulate you. They know what to say or do to lure you in. They know how to get you where they need you so that they can get what they want from you.
They will tell you whatever they think you want to hear to make you trust them, to make you give them a chance. That is how they manipulate you; that is how they pull you into their realm.
2. Future faking.
Once the narcissist has given you this false impression, you may want to see it materialize. You may want to see the product they have just sold to you. This is when the narcissist will use future faking.
They will promise you something in the future; they will keep you waiting, thinking that one day things will change. They will sell you a dream, but it's all fake. You will never receive anything from them. The situation will not benefit you because they use future faking to keep you around so they can continue getting what they want from you.
3. Devaluation.
When the narcissist sees that you're getting fed up of waiting for things to change, it will offend them. They will see it as an insult because they expect you to see it as a privilege to be around them. Rather than letting you have the opportunity to criticize their lack of investment in the relationship, they will devalue you.
Despite everything you've done for them, they will minimize it or avoid discussing it. If you were to stop doing those things for them, they would get very angry. It makes you feel like you can't leave, as though your only option is to stay with them and do everything they want you to do while they continue to devalue you because they want you to stay where you are.
They want you to feel like you wouldn't be any good for anyone or anything, as though they're the only ones who can help you when they're actually the one thing holding you back.
4. Isolation.
The narcissist will isolate you, make you dependent on them, and turn you against your family or friends or turn your family and friends against you so that you have no one but them. They become your only source of influence, which means they can tell you whatever they want, and you won't know what's right or wrong.
They want you to feel like they're the only person you can depend on. They abuse you but also want to be the ones who make you feel better, so they can have control over you.
It maintains a code of silence where no one outside of you and the narcissist knows what's really going on.
___________________________________
First they find a way to charm you.
Then they act like you are the most amazing person that they’ve ever met.
They make you feel adored, valued, appreciated and loved. They look at you in a way that nobody has ever looked at you before and it’s amazing.
Then they start the intermittent reinforcement. The more skilled ones do it very slyly so they have plausible excuses for letting you down. When you start to get turned off by the negatives, they start back again on the adoring you thing.
This creates addiction. Once you are fully addicted, they slowly turn up the bad and turn down the good and lower your expectations to where you are thrilled if they will spend an hour with you. If they are highly skilled, they will have a believable excuse for every bad thing they do and play innocent.
The next thing you know, you are constantly trying to please them and you feel you aren’t worthy of being treated well. Some of us wake up and say “WTF? How did I turn into this?”
We are the lucky ones.
We get out.
Seriously, it’s brainwashing and it’s sick.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-trap-you
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Why wasn't I good enough
for my narcissist?
Because you didn't make him feel the way he wanted you to make him feel. You see, this is all your fault. You just couldn't stop being so negative, could you? As such, you will be placed on the shelf like the good little appliance you are while he plays with the new thingy he found one day.
Don’t worry, though. He’ll return when his new appliance bores him. Take you right off the shelf. Dust you off. Replace your batteries. Play with you until you show signs of your battery dying again. So, up you go!
He tosses you back on the shelf while he chooses another appliance. You have to watch as he and the new appliance dance happily into the sunset. Don’t worry though. He ‘ll return when his new appliance bores him. Take you right off the shelf.
Were you offended by that at all? Yes? Great! This is how you should feel when the idea of not being good enough crops up in your head. Finding someone good enough is a fruitless quest for a narcissist.
He doesn’t love you. He more than likely loved the way you made him feel.
The insults, the smear campaign, the cheating, the blaming, the stonewalling, the triangulation, the rages, the gaslighting and the projections… all of that is designed to make you believe you’re not good enough.
Don’t hold onto that idea. Be sad that your love wasn't reciprocated. Be sad that he isn't truly the person you knew at the start of the relationship (that guy doesn't exist). If nothing else, know that you have value and that you deserve better.
________________________________
It has nothing to do w/you. No one is good enough for a narcissist!!! The narcissist isn’t even good enough for himself.
Never allow them to make you feel less than…they are not worth it. Mine cheated on me with total FILTH! Literally. They are empty vessels w/holes in them. The more you put in, the more it just leaks right out. They are parasites. So it’s like asking why a mosquito won’t only suck YOU dry…it’s jut never ever enough for them.
Stop thinking about it rationally. They are not rational. It is NOT YOU - it is 100% THEM that is the problem.
___________________________________
Narcissists look for the perfect victim, someone they can always be better than, someone who validates their superior status, someone willing to make more and more sacrifices. As the narcissist's tolerance to the target builds up, due to their childish need for novelty and hatred of routine, the target must surrender an exponentially increasing amount of their own agency to the narcissist.
Mortals that we are though, after too much punishment, we collapse.
That's fine, the narcissist was getting bored anyways.
_______________________________________
It was never anything to do with you, it’s everything to do with them.
They are severely disordered.
They only see in black and white.
Meaning they see everything and everyone as all good, or as all bad.
Example:
You make them happy in some way. You’re all good.
You do something that makes them mad. Now you’re all bad.
This can happen in a matter of a minute time frame too.
See how childish that is?
Not to sound mean, but their mentality is of a child.
They see people as objects.
Like a child sees their toys.
They play with their toys that they currently own.
Then all of a sudden someone buys them or they see a new shiny toy, now that is all they want for awhile.
Their old toys, are still there’s, so they put them away in their toy box.
They forget about the old toys for awhile, but they are still their waiting for when the child wants to play with them again.
But soon, like the old toys, they will bore of the new toy and go back to their old toys and search for a new shiny toy again.
This would be like a narcissist growing bored of new supply or they are fighting, so they Hoover back to old and search for new.
The initial high of someone new, is like a child getting a new toy.
My point is, no matter who the narcissist is with, they will never measure up in their eyes.
Why?
Because they do not attach to people emotionally.
They treat people like objects and use them until there’s nothing left.
I once asked my narcissist, right at the end of the final discard (I knew it was coming, but under unfortunate circumstances, I had to stay with him, until I found a new place, my life fell apart and I was smeared so badly, forced out of my community and had to live with him)…..
Anyways, I knew I wouldn’t get an answer that really meant shite…
But I asked… how is it so easy for you to say goodbye and forget about people after being so close to them for years?
His response: “what you think I just have a pile of people I just cut off?”
I said yes, I believe there’s a lot of them.
All he did was give me an evil smirk.
This is just them.
Their way of thinking is completely distorted and out of wack.
Just remember, anyone that has to destroy, brainwash, gaslight and manipulate a person in order for them to stick around.
This reveals just how sick and twisted the whole situation truly is.
Not only is this behavior completely inhumane, sadistic and overall evil, it is completely pathetic.
So look it at it this way……
You’re going to let someone who literally has to brainwash people to get them to be interested in them, have you wondering why you aren’t good enough?
Don’t get me wrong, I understand this feeling all to well, but you must understand that they will never find the right person that will fit their narrative for the long run.
No matter who they have, they will do the same, they did to you.
It may be hard right now, you may still be stuck in the fog they put you in.
You must go through the pain, that comes with the healing.
Once you’re out of the fog, your mind will be astonished at what you put up with and you will realize just how felafelled up it all was, but you will be able to detect these people and never go through this pain again.
Be strong, you got this.
And always remember, you are ENOUGH, more than ENOUGH.
Narcissists only chose the best people, the empathetic, too good for this world people.
No one else would put up with their sh!t.
You’ve been through one of the most mind felafel-soul taking experience. And you survived.
Life will get better, may not seem that way, but you have to have patience and let yourself heal.
This means going to no contact with the narcissist.
If a narcissist sees their old supply improving and surviving without them, this eats them alive.
Do not respond to them.
Just try your hardest to be strong and create the life you always imagined.
You most definitely deserve it.
https://www.quora.com/Why-wasnt-I-good-enough-for-my-narcissist
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WHY YOU NEED TO GET AWAY
FROM THEM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKY5WDg0_Mk
Why you need to get away from them. The narcissist is somebody who only gets worse over time. They do not have your best interest at heart. They will take whatever they can from you and leave you a shell of yourself. No contact and blocking these people is the path.
If you can’t do that right now, utilize gray rock become dull and boring. Create an exit plan to remove yourself from these people and not consume their toxicity. Get away from these people as soon as you have identified who they are. They will only get worse overtime and your life is too valuable to spend one more minute in a relationship with a narcissist. Namaste
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They hate your critical thinking ability
and your refusal to believe in their lies and false identity.
Biggest Thing Narcissist Hates About You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ma3om5hNU2w
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:r3830:
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Narcissism: Feeding the Beast
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovv7LEhSQb4
@philu4621
3 hours ago
So sick of this crap with my family...we can never have one normal fricken moment of heart to heart connection cause everyone's stuck in their dang heads! No wonder I'm so f-ed up...I hate being the odd one out around these weirdo narcs with no soul...so tired of it. It's always something with them
..always some negative affect.
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Can The Narcissist Love You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY-_QZaAoyw
Narcissists Live In The Moment
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehuz0o2CrJg
Narcissists And Word Salad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvZHDXFTSuo
Narcissists Objectify Others
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbOPNeWOKCk
Why Relationships With Narcissists Are So Damaging
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HggP91sNNGo
Gaslighting From Narcissists is Different
https://www.youtube.com/live/UDe5CActYSg?t=422s
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How to Take the Ultimate
Revenge on a Narcissist -- Don't Fight or Argue and Do This Instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUMzUgFLRtE
@surfkat59
8 months ago
Silence and ignoring them is KEY.
@williamcampbell8939
2 years ago
They are also nicer to strangers than they are the ones that love them because they want to impress them.
@roberttarr907
2 years ago
This stuff should be taught in high school. It would probably save lives.
@spikefivefivefive
2 years ago
"If you're a giver, make sure you know your limits ... because the takers have none."
@kimwill3420
3 years ago
They only target angels with big hearts.
@peengoo
3 years ago
1.Just walk away and let the healing process begin.
2.Forgive yourself for trusting them.
3.Learn a lesson from this trauma.
Life is way too precious to waste on toxic people.
Make your life beautiful again.
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You’ll never get to them, their ego is always going
to be in the way regardless of what you say to them.
Narcissists Will Always Disagree
With You, So STOP TRYING to
Get Through to Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ddwcxcq-gAY
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A narcissist's life may be a prolonged nightmare,
but also it is a nightmare for those around them.
The Narcissist's Life,
a Prolonged Nightmare
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoUqM-_EEUY
@jobodley553
8 years ago
I told a narcissist I knew to go to hell and he said he was already there. I did not understand what he meant until now.
@2degucitas
10 years ago
I have no pity for their pain. I am a b*tch when it comes to narcissists. They don't get to take ONE MORE MINUTE of my life.
@ABCviewing1
7 years ago
When you spend enough time to truly feel the narcissist's reality, you will experience a devastating, grey, cemetery-like energy. You do not look around in the world and feel life forms, movements or exchanges with yourself. You are an alien in a world of moving things and you are a ghost. I felt this and it scared the living daylights from me. It made me feel that his "coping mechanisms" - abuse, were meaningless. It might seem ridiculous after we have been bashed at all angles but in reality the abuse does not mean anything but this dead person's way of trying to fight off this horrible grey death.
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Nightmares After Narcissistic Abuse : The Sad Reality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JewNA5fC0jc
@sirrantsalott
1 year ago
I woke up from a literal nightmare of my mother berating me while I was busy in the bathroom. She barged in berating me over I have no idea what and she wouldn’t stop until I walked away.
She was so selfish and entitled about I have no idea what when I was asking her to give me privacy and let me finish my business. No she wouldn’t leave me alone. It was so frustrating. I’m no contact for 8 months and I feel like the 14 yr old kid she bullied :( I am an accomplished adult and the fear this woman instills in me is insane despite the reality is she has no physical hold of me. The psychological and emotional wound is so deep.
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5 Signs God is Showing You The Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdIiYz3iuYE&t=24s
How Demonic energy of the narcissist impacts you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqoFO4OJCUg&t=48s
5 Demonic Spirits Behind Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYprZQ5wiFs&t=53s
NARCISSISTIC OR DEMONIC! "is this spiritual warfare?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H14pI6JF_qs
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This Is Why Chosen Ones
Are Alone -- No Friends And No Relationship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq0eXghpwOM
@nenciopaniagua
9 days ago
This channel keeps freaking me out. I think of something and a few days later this channel publishes a video explaining why I feel that way or why I am the way I am. Thank you!
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The best thing you can do to a narcissist, whether you left on your own or were discarded is to give them your absolute silence and absence, become totally indifferent to their existence. They can only exist in your thoughts but never in your world. Consider yourself lucky if they have left you alone and focused their attention elsewhere.
They're horrible people.
This is What the NARCISSIST
NEVER THOUGHT
you would do that makes them
regret until they Die
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjrulUTIxNI
@brianbucher1313
13 days ago
Narcissists never regret anything...move on.
@BudMurphy-bt8hh
2 weeks ago
I don't even want to think of them let alone talk or see them.
@allans7281
1 day ago
One thing a narcissist can’t beat is your gut feeling- always go with it.
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4 Ways to TORTURE
The NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-RQB9SHT3M&list=PL44JvcTO2zAWB8dWOd5S8CwOqz0YNe8G1
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When they’re nice, they’re still evil.
It’s important to remember that.
When The Narcissist is Nice
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlSTHMtVeCo
@jennygreenwood1756
3 years ago
The only time they are nice is when they WANT something from you.
@mikeriolo7734
5 years ago
Their nice because they want something or are planning something and want to hit you when you least expect it.
@JESUSISGREATEST
3 years ago
When they are nice an ulterior motive is included.
@jacquelinemanzano9328
4 years ago
The SIN in sincere and the CON in confidence. A narcissist always has a motive.
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Things Narcissists Say
To You at Discard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GO8wVEqngk
@chriscole5990
1 year ago
The Devil masquerades as a Angel of light! Don't take back that Devil!
@spiritwarrior116
1 year ago
They project exactly what they are doing, it's like we are their mirror they talk to.
@ggphe
1 year ago
I had our baby girl..... she was a few months old when he told me I was unattractive, boring and unsexy . I was recovering from a c section ..... he left me for other supply. I felt like I had been ran over by a freight train. But by god I got back up and learned about this disorder. I never let him back in.
@dovelove398
1 year ago
During the relationship I started to notice how I disliked the way I looked in pictures regardless of the occasion. I always saw deep emotional pain in my smile. When I ended the relationship I saw a major difference. I had no idea that a narc could destroy without you even knowing.
@cm9317
1 year ago
I think one of their favorites is to tell you that you're crazy when you start catching on. You're no use to them if you figured them out and so they have to discard you and make you feel like it's your fault.
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585 Replies
18800 Views
:banana: :kilt: :dance: :hoola: :duckdance: :bear: :crayfish: :bounce:
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What are the signs that
a narcissist is losing control?
Typically they’ll go into a narcissistic rage after losing control, as narcissists feel a need to be in control like no other. This may include either a passive-aggressive “sulking” period or an actual anger outburst, of which I’ve experienced both.
The passive-aggressive rage is one where anything you say is responded to with passive-aggressive comments. Ones I’ve commonly heard are “wow” or “whatever.”
Nothing seems overtly wrong on the surface, which is why these can be hard to place, but they can be just as hurtful. Another example I experienced was that one time I was holding the door open for my family and my father grabbed it from me, to which I took it back, saying, “I can do it myself.” He then said, “I didn’t say you couldn’t,” in an unnaturally rude tone of voice. Typically they will do actions and try to get you to react so that they regain control.
I recommend you do not do what I did in that situation if you yourself are dealing with a narcissist— the best thing to do is not show any response at all. Regardless, they will take small, calculated actions trying to get a rise out of you or go past your boundaries, since narcissists want to regain that sense of control over their supply.
The other type of rage is the one typically associated with this term— an anger outburst. Typically in these they will use all your actions against you, shift all blame onto the target, and they will not listen to anything you’re saying, even if it’s perfectly reasonable.
I experienced this while my family and I were at a restaurant, where he, all of a sudden said, “Why are you so angry at me?”— and proceeded to tell me all about how I’d screamed at him after he patted me on the head (which is untrue) among other lies. This continued for a period of time until we got back home and he looked me in the eyes and again said, “Why are you so angry at me?” This time I stayed silent and stared him right in the face, him saying, “What’s with that hateful glare?”
I said nothing.
Later I experienced another narcissistic rage where he continued to pester me about how I was so angry at him and played the victim saying, “I want a relationship with you again.” Eventually I had to just walk off and tell him to stop talking to me. Through this type of narcissistic rage the goal is to get a rise out of you in an attempt to make you the villain, and they will generally project their anger onto you.
If they’re angry, all of a sudden they get mad about how angry you are. If they succeed and get a reaction out of you, they will proceed until they gain back their supply by either provoking you or trying to “restore the relationship.”
Both good and bad attention work for a narcissist as supply— if good attention doesn’t work then they’ll go to the other kind.
Essentially through both of these the common theme is being angry at their loss of control and trying to regain control of their chosen supply by either blowing up in anger or using passive-aggression. Narcissists, again, despise lack of control, so they will do anything to gain it back.
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Narcissists operate on the “kind to be cruel" principle. They give a little (words, gestures, use of their genitals) in order to take a lot (your health, money, sanity).
As a narcissist loses grandiosity, they are unable to invest their narcissism into others, they are unwilling to infuse others with their magical thinking and intoxicating fantasy.
At this point their rage is dangerously close to the surface. They must up their passive aggression in order to project the rage into other people.
Dealing with a narcissist in this End Stage necessitates you keep your workload up, and remain productive. You may or may not lose your temper at them, as they are experts at incitement. If you do lose your temper, don't attempt to address their argument, which is nonsensical. The narcissist, as always. only wants to waste your precious time. Instead take the opportunity to hammer away at their character, the bigger, uglier picture.
Whatever you do, keep working - truth will out.
_____________________________________
Narcissists have an innate need to control everything around them so that they can continue to get narcissistic supply.
Narcissists have no inner sense of value. This is because of either a trauma that they endured as children or an over-indulgence provided to them by their caregivers. Since they cannot feel fulfilled, they try to get a sense of fulfillment through narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply is the only thing that will give them a sense of fulfillment and purpose; although they can never get enough from it.
They are on an endless search for anything that feeds their egos and will attempt to control anything or anyone around them to obtain this. Supply can come in the form of money, a prestigious job, the right house or spouse but often comes in the form of much darker things such as devaluing, debasing and treating others poorly. When a narcissist is feeling out of control and afraid of losing their supply or having their injury getting exposed, they will most likely act out in one of the below ways.
Narcissistic Rage
Every narcissist has what is called a narcissistic injury. This injury is what lives deep inside of them and tells them constantly that they are no good. In addition to going to any lengths to get narcissistic supply from people, places, and things, they will also put in the same effort to protect this narcissistic injury at all costs.
If a narcissist feels as if there is a possibility of their injury becoming exposed, their narcissistic rage will get triggered. Narcissistic rage is similar to that of a two year old throwing a tantrum because they are not getting what they want. This rage is one tell-tale sign that they have started to feel like they’re losing control.
Increased Devaluing Behaviors
Another way to gage whether or not a narcissist is starting to feel like they are losing control is through their devaluing behaviors. Although devaluing is something that is a part of every narcissistic relationship, devaluing behaviors get especially exacerbated when narcissists feel out of control.
As horrible as this might sound, if their devaluing behaviors are occurring more often or in a more intense way, they are probably feeling out of control. They are really good at reading you, especially if you’ve been with them for a very long time. They know your weaknesses and fear your strengths. Random and personal attacks towards you that they know will affect you are good signs of this as well.
Love Bombing (If Devaluing Behaviors Fail Them)
Once they have devalued you to try and gain control back, they may start to love bomb you again if they feel as if their efforts resulted in less than their expectations for having complete and total control. They will likely try to re-woo you with the same charisma that brought you into their life.
Don't fall for it.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-signs-that-a-narcissist-is-losing-control
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:lmao:
-
:tello: "Not a bad idea......"
-
:mobbing:
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Why does a narcissist
have to be so mean?
:mobbing:
They don't have to. They choose to be mean, because they enjoy the rush of their dominance and cruelty. Evil is a choice.
Experts tell us NPDs were trained from early childhood to become Narcissists, but fail to explain the fact that some abused children become empaths, others become Narcissist.
Unless we are hit by schizophrenia, we have free will. Narcissists use their free will to hurt others, because they love it.
_____________________________________
Why does a narcissist blow up all their relationships? Why are they so mean? Wouldn't it be easier to be nice, appreciate the people around them, and be loving and caring? Isn't that the easiest path?
No, not for them.
Their easiest path is to blow up all their relationships, cause drama for the sake of drama, and create chaos out of nothing.
Think about a narcissist like a con artist, a criminal, a scammer. If your identity has ever been stolen or your credit card hacked, you might wonder: Why does that scammer spend so much time sending phishing emails, making scam calls when they could just get a job as an IT manager and probably make more money legitimately? They don't do it because they don't want a conventional, long-lasting career. They get a thrill out of screwing people over. It's the same concept with a narcissist.
Most of the prison population has narcissistic tendencies. These people are programmed to screw you over. A narcissist is an empty shell of a human, with a perpetual sense of darkness and boredom inside them. When things get too stable, they get bored. They want to shake it up, ruin your life, discard you, abandon you, ghost you, yell at you, abuse you. It doesn't come naturally for a narcissist to be nice. They can do it for a short period during the love bombing phase, but it's fake.
For a healthy person, it's a completely foreign, weird concept that they can't just be nice. Being kind to others is the easiest thing in the world, so why can't they do it?
Because they have a personality disorder that gives them an overinflated ego, a gross sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy for others. All of this adds up to them only caring about themselves and not caring about how they impact you.
They want to scream and yell at you in the moment because they feel like it. They're never going to think about how that might impact them long-term and how it might impact you. There's no winning with these people, and there's no level they won't stoop to gain power and control over you. That's why the best thing is to get out and go no contact.
__________________________________________
Narcissists are mean and judgmental because they fear that everyone will see their flaws if they’re not. It’s all a strategy for them to remain “perfect”.
So basically if they talk down on you then it must mean that they are above you. If they say you are bad at something, they are implying that they are good at it. By remaining this way they keep the idea in their head that they are good at everything, make no mistakes, and is the best thing that has ever happened to the world.
Nobody can be on their level and by bringing others down they will kill your confidence to maintain on top and be the best of the best. Unfortunately.
__________________________________________
For one, it’s because they are unhappy with themselves. Narcissists know that they could never take the gaslighting and criticism/withholding that they dish out to their victims. Double standards are how they roll.
People who are at ease with themselves as the works in progress we all are and who have faith in love and kindness beyond their own works aren’t usually mean and vengeful people.
So, if a person knows good and well that they’re a narcissistic troll with negligible life/social/love skills, they’re not going to be kind and gracious people, by nature.
Narcissists are typically jealous, insecure and naturally pissed, as a general trait - it goes with their narc pathology. Real charmers, right?!
Also, it’s because narcissists don’t like to take accountability. It’s always someone else’s fault…the perpetual dog that ate their homework vibe.
Unless there’s a rare time when you’ve had enough, and they know they have to back off, that’s when narcs show a false kindness and sense of security like when they first met you and were never going to hurt you and you were the best thing to ever happen to them.
Their brief display of kindness is, for them, a reset so they can catch you off guard later…but as anyone who has gone back to a real narcissist knows - it doesn’t last long. Not even three hours or a full day or week, depending on how sick they are.
This is partly why narcs use the constant word salad/what-about-what-you-did? loop all the time, to throw blame and doubt on to you so that - in their twisted plan - you will just get exhausted, give up/in, and help them shine while you lose your spark that attracted them to you in the first place.
Narcs always want what they don’t have, right? This is the supply - the attention - they feed on, negative or positive. As long as you’re engaging them, they will never stop.
P.S. For all of the people who say that low-self esteem is why people get saddled with these kinds of people, think of all the people you know who were radiant and gorgeous before getting drained by a narcissist until they regenerate and bloom upon leaving such toxic people and situations.
Choose an emotionally/spiritually healthy partner or friend, not the broken toy who wants to break you too.
Avoid these types of people and move on - you will celebrate that you did! Just give it time. The pain of the breakup will hurt at first, but wounds heal, especially when you’re the one who refused to allow yourself to be abused, mentally or physically, anymore.
Staying and exposing yourself to serious consequences is far more tragic than leaving someone who does not deserve you. You can’t fix them, but you can allow yourself to heal. There are literally billions of loving people on this Earth to choose from who don’t want to hurt you or wreak havoc on your life and soul.
Best of abundance in love to all! Love is real.
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This is a real tough, yet easy question to answer. The problem is only you can determine if you are ready to hear what I am going to tell you.
The bottom line is the Narc needs to have someone they can abuse. Abusing another helps them feel better about themselves. It can be because of a damaged ego, a need for control or dominance, or straight up masochistic impulses. Usually there is an addiction involved: drugs, alcohol or sugar.
You seem like you are only just becoming aware, so just remember this:
IT IS NOT YOU, IT IS THEM!!
For any infinite number of reasons, They have a hole in them they cannot fill no matter how hard they try. When you first got together, they thought you filled that void. One day they realized you didn’t so they must punish you. Or discard you altogether.
IT IS NOT YOU, IT IS THEM!!
IT WILL ALWAYS BE THEM.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-have-to-be-so-mean
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The 3 Problems The Narcissist
Will Face After Your Discard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlc2w1ukeCg
@barnetthejosh
3 years ago
Break ups are hard until you realise you were holding onto an idea of who you thought someone was, and realise who they really were and are.
@vincecavedog3219
3 years ago
They will always hate themselves once we heal we win! Block, no contact, adios psychopath!!!
@jewelmathewson2997
1 year ago
They go find new supply before you're gone, but... the new supply is just the next ex.
@loulou9978
3 years ago
This Mrs A loves torturing the narcissist. Ignore them. No contact. They hate it and they can’t figure out how your world doesn’t revolve around them
-
Do narcissists notice when
people start to avoid them?
Narcissists notice everything!
In my experience, narcissists minds work on completely different plain to neurotypical empathetic people. They are watching every situation, every movement, body language, eye contact, what mood you’re in, what level of vulnerability you’re at that day, your routine, even what time you open your curtains in the morning! Everything that they can use against you. They give a running commentary of your movements as a control tactic to let you know they are watching your behaviour.
If you begin to ignore and avoid, they will notice this and find new ways to manipulate. Usually the smear campaign will begin as they have lost control of you so the next stage is to control how others perceive you!
If you remain strong, no contact, no emotion, no response to any advance you will annoy the heck of your narcissist.
Good luck!
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I would say yes.
For a narcissist, their full time job is influencing people’s perceptions of them. They have people they need to measure up to, that the narcissist sees as of the same status as them. They have people that the narcissist needs to be better than, as they see this group as inferior to them.
They have people who have picked up on their games, that they need to prove wrong. Others, such as exes, that they need to hurt and do better than. Life is a constant upkeep & maintenance of how they are perceived. Because how they are perceived, is inwardly how they perceive themselves.
Narcissists like to figure people out. They have a giant web of lies that goes quite deep. A long string of cobweb that if you follow it along, it will lead you all the way back to their real self. The selfish & manipulative puppeteer pulling all the strings. Their way of feeling safe is being able to properly get a read on the people in their lives and being able to control them, or at the least, control people’s perceptions of them.
They want to keep you in that web. If they can’t, they want to at least leave you with a poisonous bite. At the very least, poisoning everyone in their lives perception of you.
When people start to avoid them, that means trouble for them. That means that their behavior, or someone else, is starting to poison the narcissist’s own web. People who they are supposed to be perfectly maintaining, are starting to realize the lies they are being told. They are starting to wake up from their hidden reality and take everything for what it is.
If one person starts avoiding them that isn’t that much of a ‘key player’ to the narcissist, they might be able to get away with it. However, if its anyone important & especially multiple people, the narcissist will definitely start to notice. Then it becomes a desperate attempt to remove the poison. If that is one person that is starting to make the narcissist look bad, they will have to go.
And they will have to look like an ass or a lunatic on their way out, to preserve the narcissist’s image. If that poison is really starting to spread, it’s a matter of gaslighting. Bringing everyone back to the narrative that the narcissist wants to create. Creating a fake reality of which the narcissist is safe within. If everyone and their mother is starting to avoid them, then they will likely move to a new area, social circle, etc.
Time to build a new web.
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Narcissists can vary in their awareness of when people start to avoid them. Some narcissists may be highly attuned to social cues and notice when others begin to distance themselves. They may pick up on subtle signs of avoidance or withdrawal, such as not being invited to events or receiving less attention than usual.
On the other hand, some narcissists may be less perceptive of these cues due to their own self-centered focus and lack of empathy. They may dismiss or rationalize away signs of avoidance, attributing them to others' jealousy or incompetence rather than reflecting on their own behavior.
Overall, while narcissists may notice when people start to avoid them, their interpretation of these cues and their response to them can vary based on their individual traits and the severity of their narcissism.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-notice-when-people-start-to-avoid-them
-
Why do covert narcissists
lie about the little things?
Covert narcissists, like other individuals with narcissistic traits, may lie about seemingly trivial or inconsequential matters for several reasons. Here are some possible explanations for why covert narcissists might engage in such behavior:
Control and Manipulation: Narcissists, including covert narcissists, often seek to control and manipulate others to maintain their sense of power and superiority. Lying about even minor details can be a way for them to assert control over a situation or person by shaping the narrative in a way that benefits them.
Image Management: Covert narcissists are typically very concerned with how they are perceived by others. They may lie about small things in order to present a more favorable image of themselves or to avoid potential embarrassment or criticism.
Avoiding Accountability: By lying about minor details, covert narcissists may be attempting to evade responsibility or accountability for their actions. They may use lies as a way to deflect blame onto others or to avoid facing consequences for their behavior.
Seeking Attention and Validation: Some covert narcissists lie about trivial matters as a way to garner attention and validation from others. By presenting themselves in a certain light or fabricating stories, they may be seeking admiration or sympathy from those around them.
Low Self-Esteem: Despite their outward appearance of confidence, covert narcissists often have deep-seated feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Lying about insignificant things may be a way for them to bolster their fragile self-image or to compensate for their perceived shortcomings.
Pattern of Deception: For some covert narcissists, lying may become a habitual behavior that they engage in reflexively, rather than a calculated decision. Over time, this pattern of deception can become ingrained in their interactions with others.
It's important to note that not all individuals who lie about minor details are necessarily covert narcissists. Lying can be a complex behavior influenced by a variety of factors, including individual personality traits, past experiences, and situational circumstances.
If you are dealing with someone who consistently lies about small things and it is causing distress or disruption in your relationships, it may be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional or therapist.
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They lie about “everything”. Big, small and not important at all. They lie when they have to and when they don't. It is pathological.
It is all about their arrogance and obsessive control about their narrative.They need-they have to control their version of reality-even though it is disillusioned.
This is why you get everything in text and email. It is then that you can best track, trace and uncover their many, many, many lies.
And remember, one of their passive favorites are the lies of ommission. They l-o-v-e to boast of the supposed good stuff but will leave out large details of who and how they trampled others to get there or who they were “actually” with and why. This is one of their very insidious tactics that will make you look and feel “off” because things don't add up and your questions will be ignored, taunted and looked upon as crazy. Seriously. Been there.
Confirm and verify. Actions over words. Do not trust them ever. In their worlds, they can only be the victim or hero.
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In the shadows they dwell, the covert narcissists, Crafting webs of deceit, their lies persist. But why do they weave such intricate tales, About the little things, where truth often fails?
Within their souls, a void unseen, An insatiable hunger, a desperate need. To control and manipulate, their ego's delight, They lie and deceive, hidden from sight.
The little things become their battleground, A web of falsehoods carefully wound. They twist and distort, with cunning and guile, In their quest for power, their egos they file.
The lies may seem small, insignificant, and mild, But they serve a purpose, for the narcissist's child. To gain control, to manipulate and sway, Their fragile ego, they seek to display.
They lie about the little things to assert dominance, To maintain their façade, their false pretense. For in the realm of lies, they feel secure, Masking their insecurities, their vulnerabilities obscure.
Their deceit knows no bounds, no moral restraint, In their twisted world, truth becomes quaint. They gaslight and deceive, with calculated precision, Leaving others in a state of confusion.
But remember, dear soul, their lies are not your fault, It's their own inner demons, their wounds left unsought. Their need for validation, for an egoic high, Leads them down a path where truth becomes a lie.
So, be aware of their games, their manipulative art, Don't let their lies tear your world apart. Seek the truth, embrace your own light, And in authenticity, you'll find your might.
For in the realm of honesty and grace, You'll rise above their deceit, at your own pace. Don't be ensnared by their web of lies, Embrace your truth, let your spirit rise.
Covert narcissists may lie about the little things, But you hold the power, the truth within your wings. Stay true to yourself, let your light shine bright, And their web of deception will crumble in sight.
__________________________________________
They are pathological liars. Everything they say is lies. Their entire life is built on nothing but a world of lies. They just love being deceptive. They enjoy even the littlest of lies because it tickles them to actually have something over on you. Unless it can be instantly verified, you really can’t believe anything that comes out of their mouths.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-covert-narcissists-lie-about-the-little-things
-
How do you get a narcissist
to hear me?
Give up. In the narcissist’s mind there is a little voice that’s tuned in to no one else’s voice but his own. He hears only his own voice and your voice means nothing. It gives me no pleasure in telling you this but it’s what they do. This is what you’re letting yourself in for.
Good luck.
____________________________________
This has been one of the great questions of my lifetime. And I have tried more than I should have. Except I had no idea what a Narcissist was, how they manipulate, or that they need people to feed on.
All my efforts to help them see my perspective was only feeding their ego, and their arguments were nothing but mind games, making me even more confused. I suppose I kept trying to talk sense to them to prove to myself that I did all I could, or that they truly were unbending.
It started with my mother. As an adult I saw her pattern of control and manipulation over me, and worked to get out of it while preserving the relationship. I spent many years and tears trying to explain “this is what makes me shut down” or “you're doing it right now” convinced that with the right set of words, she would see, and we could live in harmony.
Fast forward to my pastor and his wife, with whom I was very close in my 20’s and 30’s, some deeply-loved immediate family members, and a cherished best friend who was the most subtle of them all. I have used up so many words on these loved ones I'm surprised I have any left.
Suffice to say that it worked exactly NONE times.
If you must try to get clarity with them- go ahead. Sometimes we have to try- even just to clarify for ourselves if they actually are a real narcissist.
But just know that if they are in fact afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, every word you speak will be turned around on you. Every accusation you send them will come to you in dagger form and will most likely do some (hopefully temporary) psychological damage because they know just where to hit you.
Two of their most effective tactics are: accusing you of the very same thing you know to be true about them, and accusing you of the very last thing you would want to be true about you. Hitting below the belt is their favorite move.
If you decide to confront them, be SURE you have a trusted friend or counselor that your narc has no contact with or influence over. Best if they don't even know your confidant exists. The reason is that narcissists love to indulge in smear campaigns to separate you from your loved ones, or ruin your reputation. And they're good at it.
But having this confidant is so important for your emotional and mental stability while you're trying to work it out with a narc.
When you're done, I will bet you'll be able to answer this question for another kind soul.
Most likely your answer will be, “You can't “.
My heart goes out to you my dear.
P.S. This story has a bit of a happy ending. During the very last year of her life, after my Daddy died, my mother softened a lot. She had lost her domestic kingdom, and she desperately needed me.
She began to listen to my gentle words about her habits, to work to see when she was slipping into control mode, and she would back up. It was amazing.
We had a very pleasant year. I was with her on her death bed, feeding her, listening to the familiar stories, enjoying the time we had left. God did that. And I am forever grateful.
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I literally made a “pfft.... Ha!" sound as soon as I read this. Yea, good luck with making a narcissist hear you.
It's possible but you almost have to traumatize them in order for them listen.
Example: (that WON'T work)
“Stop, you're hurting my feelings! “
Example: (that WILL work)
“I'm not dealing with your bullshit temper tantrum.. Bye! “(and leave) *they fear rejection & abandonment, so this will work.*
The problem is that once they see you're not a “functioning appliance” anymore, they will continue devaluation (possibly include violence) & then ultimately discard you once their new primary source is embedded anyway.
So you're dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. So just leave & let them go waste someone else's life. You though, you go be happy.
_____________________________________
Communicating with a narcissist can be challenging due to their tendency to prioritize their own needs and perspectives above others. However, there are some strategies you can consider to potentially improve communication with a narcissist and encourage them to hear you:
Be Clear and Direct: When communicating with a narcissist, be clear and direct in your communication. Avoid vague or ambiguous language that could be misinterpreted. Clearly express your thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Use "I" Statements: Frame your communication using "I" statements to express your feelings and perspective without sounding accusatory. For example, say "I feel upset when..." instead of "You always make me feel..."
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries regarding what behavior is acceptable and what is not. Be firm in enforcing these boundaries and communicate them clearly to the narcissist.
Validate Their Feelings: While it's important to express your own feelings and needs, acknowledging the narcissist's feelings can also be helpful in gaining their attention and cooperation.
Choose the Right Time: Pick the right time to communicate with the narcissist when they are more likely to be receptive. Avoid approaching them when they are already agitated or preoccupied.
Avoid Appealing to Empathy: Narcissists often struggle with empathy, so appealing to their empathy may not be effective. Instead, focus on presenting your thoughts and feelings clearly.
Seek Professional Help: If the relationship with the narcissist is causing significant distress, consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance on how to navigate the relationship effectively.
It's important to remember that changing a narcissist's behavior can be challenging, and it may not always be possible to get them to truly hear and understand you. In some cases, managing expectations and setting boundaries to protect yourself may be necessary for your well-being.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-get-a-narcissist-to-hear-me
-
What is the most difficult thing
to grasp about narcissism,
even after researching extensively about it?
The most difficult thing for me to grasp about narcissism after all I have learned is that everything they do, everything they build up to, and every hoop they jump through is all just for the discard.
Think about how many times they will build you up to tear you down, but then grovel to you afterwards to the point that they will do anything if only you’ll talk to them for a minute.
Or what about when they go to trouble of finding all of your friends on your phone or social media, researching and checking out such people as well as analysing what you say about them when you talk to figure out how they can use them later.
Then pursuing these friends, manipulating them, and finally turning them against you only to make all of this hard work that is also time consuming totally pointless and redundant with the discard of everyone involved. And to think that is the whole point of what the narcissist does is such as waste of time.
I know they get your money, time, energy and attention along the way, but they are putting in what is often a lifetime of effort (that’s time they cannot get back) into people they always only intend to abandon.
I will never be able to grasp the sheer amount of wasted time and energy that the narcissist burns through just to use and abandon everyone they meet, its mystifying.
___________________________________________
That the person who you came to love and trust, isn’t who you thought they were.
That everything who they claimed to be, they lied about, just to manipulate you.
That under their mask of being charming, confident, engaging, fun, loving, and attentive, they are actually insecure, mean, deceitful, controlling, abusive, and unfaithful.
That no matter how good of a person you were to them, or how much you did for them, none of it mattered.
That no matter how much you tried to love them and care for them, they never appreciated or reciprocated anything back.
That no matter how committed, sacrificing and loyal you were to them, they still cheated anyways.
That no matter how much you prioritize them, they will always treat you like an option.
That no matter how much you tried to help change them, you couldn’t, and they won’t change, even if they made a million promises to say otherwise.
The hardest part is acceptance, and coming to terms with the fact, that the person you adore the most is actually very disordered and doesn’t care about you, love you, or respect you.
_____________________________________
I tell you what it is.
You're in the bed, late at night. You’re awake. She’s sleeping, in her shirt and hugging the plush that you stole for her years ago. It’s a giant cat. She loves cats.
And you’re there, awake, looking at her. She is beautiful and so innocent now. Maybe she will sleep all the night, she took a sleeping pill. No nightmares tonight, maybe.
Your hand is on her hip. You’re looking at her and you’re thinking that yes, in a couple of days will be over. You took the decision. You can’t stand this anymore.
Your mind goes back to the first 2 years, AKA the love bombing stage. How beautiful and funny it was - if you decide to ignore the red flags.
Then it comes to your mind: how can you explain the color red to a man blind from his birth? How can you describe a sunset to him?
This was the most difficult thing to grasp, until you realize that she’s blind.
How can you explain love to a Narcissist?
How can you explain concepts like right or wrong to a Narcissist?
How can you explain empathy to a Narcissist?
If you want to heal you have to grasp strongly to this idea:
They don’t get it. They don’t have those concepts formed in their mind.
You keep looking at her. It’s over. Just a couple of days before you’ll tell to her and you know you will miss her like crazy. And yes, you cry.
You cry because you realize that you and her have a huge gap, impossible to fill.
I did the same mistake that many people here on Quora did: paint NPDs as “evil”.
I completely disagree with this vision now. For being evil, you need to have the right/wrong - good/bad concepts fully developed in your mind.
NPD and ASPD don’t have those concept formed. Their emotional development stopped at a very young age.
Does a 4 years old kid know that kicking the house cat is bad? Does he know that if mom is tired after work it’s not the right moment to throw a tantrum?
Of course he doesn’t. He will learn, eventually. Trial and errors.
It’s YOU, in their eyes, trying to make them feel bad.
They are not getting it.
They don’t get it. Those concepts are completely focused on them. Morals are relative to them, not to other people.
In a school bus there’s a boy with Down syndrome. Another guy approaches to him and says “you’re not normal, dude”. The Down boy stares at him for a couple of seconds and his answer is “YOU are not normal!"
See the point? On the Down Boy perspective, he is NORMAL. It’s the OTHER boy not normal.
Now you see why they consider you weak for your unconditional love, for your boundaries and life principles.
Now you see why they stared blankly at you when you were trying to make them understand why their behavior made you suffer.
In their eyes, YOU are NOT normal. You were trying to explain the color red to a blind man.
If you never saw red, you don’t understand red.
And really: how can you pretend to have an adult conversation with a 30 years old university teacher that:
Suddenly leaves a bar and disappears on the street because in her mind you, talking with a girl friend, were planning a cheating;
Throw a tantrum in a restaurant, becomes aggressive towards customers;
Get drunk and try to enter in a temple, falling and smashing her face;
No patience at all;
Does whatever she want whenever she wants not caring for consequences at all;
Change the reality of events;
Never take responsibility for anything;
Destroy you with countless episodes on jealousy;
Impossible to make plans with;
Verbal abuse you and the next day she is lovely;
Double standards for everything;
Etc. etc........
See my point? How can you pretend that someone with this behavior could understand a word about abstract concepts like empathy, love, responsibility, morals?
Once you grasp it, you see things in a complete different way.
Dysfunctional, disordered people see themselves as NORMAL. We are the one DIFFERENT.
THEY CAN’T GRASP US.
But we have the maturity to grasp them.
This doesn’t mean “we have to love them unconditionally”, but the exact opposite.
We have to KNOW with whom we are dealing.
And finally, you understand why it couldn’t work with that beautiful, smart, creative, exciting creature sleeping in your bed.
You kiss her forehead, whisper a goodbye, and start planning your new life.
SIDE NOTES
I moved on. That’s why I write what I write.
I’m not “an empath that romanticizes NPDs because he can’t move on”. I try to be objective. I don’t like the association between NPD and EVIL.
Personality disorders are not EVIL.
No, I won’t go back to her. She already tried to hoover me, I just said nope.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-most-difficult-thing-to-grasp-about-narcissism-even-after-researching-extensively-about-it
-
Do narcissists pick and choose
their victims, or do they destroy
everyone in their life?
Narcissist don't abuse everyone. They are actually very nice to some people, polite, and helpful.
That's why when problems arise, people do not believe the victim. This causes the victim to doubt themselves and start to internalize the abuse.
However it’s better that you should focus more on your healing, the endless search of all these WHYs can become the biggest barrier for moving on .
Since you've been broken up with, you're grappling with the very real pain of rejection on top of mourning the loss of love and that's why you are feeling more broken and questioning this situation.
Remember there is nothing logical in narcissistic abuse and there is also no fix pattern . So it’s better that you move beyond energies and situations that are no longer helpful to you. Make space for growth. You have the ability to use your thoughts and actions to bring life fulfilling opportunities without involving narcissist any more!
____________________________________
Narcs are attracted to the empaths of the world because we are easy targets for them to exploit because of our inner goodness.
We’re like pawns in a chess game—with them lording all the power to manipulate us into doing their bidding. Once you have been sucked dry and are left a shell of your former self, you effectively are broken inside. That’s why going NO CONTACT is the only way to move forward toward healing and self-preservation.
Don’t look back, that’s not where you’re heading. When tempted to look back and try to make sense, realize narcs don’t think the same way humans do—so don’t look for logic. They don’t feel empathy, therefore any “love” you presumed they had for you never existed.
Lastly, there is nothing anyone can do to change a narcissist. They are un-fixable. It’s the fools of the world who ever think otherwise. Remember Charlie Brown with Lucy and the football? Every time she’d promise not to pull it away, and every time Charlie fell for it.
That’s life with a narcissist. In order for you to heal, you need to first learn everything you can on the subject. That will quickly clear away the “crazy” because narcs all act the same—they’re essentially walking cliches of one another.
Next, you need to forgive yourself for ever allowing the abuse, never mind letting it continue for so long. Then, once hyper vigilant to keep these soul suckers out of your life, you will raise the bar to invite BETTER people in your life, like yourself, who will give and enrich, rather than exhaust and take away. Have faith.
____________________________________
No they do not.
They are disordered, therefore same sh!t, different person.
It’s quite simple. They assume for life that we will be so broken and brainwashed that we will never open our mouth and never not behave; remain compliant.
They have it down, except we do catch on .. some much faster than others.
It’s the same sh!t
We are servants and they control. Once we take our power back, we are no longer feeding them what they need.
If you loved Italian food and meat and steak and I started only feeding you tofu … you would be done with my cooking eventually.
____________________________________
Narcissistic only destroy their significant other or their children. Narks go places that are a good hunting ground to meet the opposite sex. If you talk to them or smile at them, they will chase you. However they are a good judge of character and they recognize other bossy people and stay away from them.
They like empathetic people and co-dependants. They rush the romance so they don't get time to get the full picture of them. They love bomb and mirror you at the start of the relationship, then they start giving insults to you if you complain; they give you the silent treatment.
Then they come back and say they didn't mean to insult you and start the whole process over again. This intermittent "Nice-Nasty" gives you a trauma bond. And also they try to make you jealous by flirting with other women. You can't get any clarity until you go no contact, and get over the trauma bond.
They do the same thing to everyone. I think they do so they can get power and control over you and make you their servant. After they are King or Queen and in their mind they deserve a servant.
____________________________________
In a narcissist’s thought process there are 3 types of people:
Co-Narcs, Flying Monkeys (the self-inflicted blind and lost that follow the Narc),
and Good People.
In short, they prey on good people because they hate themselves.
You’re questioning the essence of his humanity. The answer is NO. Narcissists don’t understand what it is to be a human, simply put. They have deep deep problems that I’m convinced stretch beyond a lifetime.
They prey on and bait the victim with tokens of kindness and acts of generosity. Then they use and use to fill a bottomless empty void that they can never fill. Unless you turn into a flying monkey that they can use to promote a superficial lifestyle to the world, you’ll end up exposing them and leave or forcing them to leave to find another victim.
The best thing that has happen to you is they are gone.
Block their number, social media, cutoff friends of Narc, and make a clean split.
Do not inquire, call a year later, have open relations, look at their social media, wonder where or what they’re doing.
Who cares?
Anyone ask about them? Your response: “Who cares?”.
Take the time to get over the pain and set up healthy boundaries. Now is the time to scan your surroundings for other narcs. Distance yourself immediately and get rid of them.
Life will immediately start to become better exponentially.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-pick-and-choose-their-victims-or-do-they-destroy-everyone-in-their-life-Why-did-he-do-this-to-me-I-dont-understand-why-Im-still-questioning-this-situation-I-feel-broken
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:runforhills:
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Has a relationship with a narcissist ever worked out?
You can't maintain a relationship with narcissists.
Narcissists don't have the empathy, remorse, love, understanding, honesty, loyalty, and caring nature to make relationships proper. Narcissists take you as a competitor; the main goal of narcissists is to put you down by proving themselves better and superior to you. Narcissists hate you to the core; they want to destroy your life emotionally and mentally.
Narcissists don't support you in relationships; they stand against you. Narcissists will go against your needs by putting their needs ahead of yours. Don't expect anything positive from narcissists.
Having control, authority, and power over you in every situation is the main goal for narcissists. You have to leave narcissists to make your life better.
Although many people have stayed with narcissists for ages, that doesn't mean a relationship or marriage is healthy.
Narcissists can't maintain healthy relationships with anyone.
___________________________________
Yes, some relationships with narcissists have worked out, but they are rare and often come with significant challenges.
Understanding the dynamics involved can help you see why these relationships are so difficult and what it takes for them to succeed. Here are some key points to consider:
Understanding Narcissism
Definition: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental condition characterized by an inflated sense of importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
Behavior Patterns: Narcissists often exhibit manipulative behavior, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of consideration for others' feelings.
Challenges in Relationships with Narcissists
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists typically struggle to understand and respond to their partner's emotional needs, leading to feelings of neglect and frustration.
Control and Manipulation: They may use tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or constant criticism to maintain control over the relationship.
Emotional Drain: The non-narcissistic partner often ends up emotionally exhausted, trying to meet the narcissist's needs while neglecting their own.
Factors That Can Make It Work
Therapy and Counseling: Both partners engaging in therapy can help, especially if the narcissist is willing to acknowledge their behavior and work on it. This is rare but not impossible
.
Strong Boundaries: The non-narcissistic partner must set firm boundaries to protect their emotional well-being. This includes being clear about what behavior is unacceptable and sticking to those limits.
Self-Care: The non-narcissistic partner needs to prioritize their own mental health and well-being, often through support groups, individual therapy, and maintaining a strong social support network.
Realistic Expectations: Understanding that change is slow and that the relationship will never be entirely balanced can help the non-narcissistic partner cope better.
Examples
Success Story: There are cases where couples have successfully managed a relationship with a narcissist by both partners undergoing extensive therapy. The narcissistic partner learns to manage their behaviors, and the non-narcissistic partner learns coping strategies.
Common Outcome: More often, relationships with narcissists end when the non-narcissistic partner reaches a point where they can no longer tolerate the emotional strain.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Has-a-relationship-with-a-narcissist-ever-worked-out
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Does a narcissist ever question
their bad behavior?
Absolutely not.
Narcissists will never question their bad behavior. Narcissists never take accountability for what they do. Narcissists lack the ability to self-reflect. They consistently blame others for their own mistakes and feelings. Narcissists have the ability to turn things around, making them someone else’s problem.
If narcissists take accountability, then they have to admit the fact that they have done wrong in a relationship. For narcissists, admitting is surrendering; they will not admit their mistakes to look flawed.
Narcissists are emotionally like kids who have never learned to take responsibility and accountability. Narcissists expect people around them to learn to fix things to keep relations going.
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Not a chance.
Having gotten away with their lousy behaviour since they were knee high why should they get a guilt trip now.
If they are called out, then expect the tables to turn with a whole raft of reasons why it's someone else [usually you ] that’s the one with all the issues, and its not only them that think that way. Etc etc, lie, lie.
As the saying goes if your looking for someone to change then you are in for a hell of a long wait and narcissists fit the bill perfectly. And don’t expect them to mellow with age either. The bad news is they they just worse. Having pissed everyone off up to this point, and being left stranded, their attention seeking antics simply get more and more extreme.
Arrogance and delusion do little for self awareness.
Suggest read chapters ‘Narcissists and attention’ and ‘The Aging narcissist’ in book entitled:
‘Prepare to be tortured. The price you will pay for dating a narcissist’.
Available amazon books and audio.
https://narsholethelonelygrifter.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-ever-question-their-bad-behavior
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Narcissists Believe
They Are The Victim
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bIJmEC-zHA
@machstem2536
9 months ago
Psychopathic criminals are what all narcissists are.
@julianterris
10 months ago (edited)
When narcissists assume a victim's identity/story not only do they deceive the people that have tried to love them, they also rob actual victims of the support they deserve. ~TY L.S.
@persiamotorman
10 months ago
The sociopath I know was told "no" by his landlord. In response, he threatened the maintenance guy and the landlord which got him an eviction notice. He told them "I'll make you pay for this!" So, he set fire to the building. When the police arrested him, he was screaming "You ruined my life! (Victim)".
@ronaldculley
3 days ago
Damaged goods.
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Do toxic narcissists underestimate their victims?
Absolutely yes.
Narcissists believe they are smarter and superior to their victims. Narcissists think that if they can fool you, it means you are not smart enough. For narcissists, everything is competition. If narcissists have the ability to manipulate and cheat on you, then you deserve to be punished. If you were smart enough, you could have stopped them or figured them out.
Narcissists feel they are superior to you, so they can treat you in whatever way they want to. Narcissists think weak individuals deserve to be cheated on and abused.
Narcissists downfall starts when they start underestimating the people they abuse. Narcissists get caught and figured out, and in the end, they start losing people. There comes a time when there is no one left to support narcissists.
All narcissists are toxic.
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Yes,they do.
Narcissists often underestimate the intelligence and capabilities of their victims or targets.
This belief in their superiority and control is a key aspect of narcissistic personality disorder.
They may assume that their manipulation and deceit will continue to work indefinitely, failing to recognize when someone is on to their scam.
Narcissists are known for deflecting, counter-accusing, gaslighting, and making false concessions when confronted with evidence of their harmful behavior.
They often view targets who can think critically and challenge their actions as weak or deserving of punishment.
Emotional intelligence is particularly threatening to narcissists because they lack an understanding of it and believe that targets cannot self-validate.
When victims extend forgiveness out of compassion and empathy, narcissists always abuse and betray this trust.
The more a victim stands up to a narcissist and refuses to be manipulated, the more the narcissist fear and respect them.
Ultimately, a narcissist’s underestimation of their victims' strength, intelligence, and determination can lead to the target gaining power in the relationship or situation.
_____________________________________
I’d say never just because once a person becomes a narcissist victim that role is set for them. There’s lots of trauma bonding brainwashing word salad all kinds of gaslighting that occurs in order for the victim not to be able to think straight for long enough to realize what’s going on.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/Do-toxic-narcissists-underestimate-their-victims-1
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What is the best way to
confront a narcissist for someone who has been
through it?
Honestly, I doubt there is any point in confronting a narcissist. My ex spotted me at Target years after he abused me and I left. He actually acted like we were friends and asked me about how I was doing. It was literally like the abuse never happened. I have to wonder if they have “selective amnesia” about the things they did wrong.
______________________________________
Yes, I have done that.
It doesn't really work because they have their own version of reality and rationale doesn't really apply to it. Plus, they're “never wrong” & everything is always “your fault”.
They do not like for Facts and Truth to interfere with what they're doing. They don't like it when you stand up for yourself. They don't like to be told or shown that they're wrong. They do not want to be reasoned with.
Most of all, they don't want to be exposed.
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Don’t do it.
It’ll be a waste of time. You must play your position right if you plan to do this because you can expect the narcissist to discard or ghost you and you’ll never see it coming.
So make sure you have enough money to move out and get your own place or make sure you have somewhere to live. Remember if you find yourself constantly confronting a narcissist and repeatedly getting on to them about the same problem over and over again then this person is not trying to change.
Hell, they are unable to change period. Confronting the narcissist is basically unmasking them. Be careful because some even go into narcissistic rage.
___________________________________________
“Can” or “should” a narcissist be confronted? This is the question often presented by those who have doubts about the nature of their opponent.
Narcissists are unique. They can be confronted but should be ignored, instead. Having options is the key strategy when facing the reality that a devious person presents him/herself to you. Do not react. Instead step back, way back, and realize these predators do not care how they affect you.
They do not take confrontation lightly.
Confrontation will trigger the reservoir of rage which is the underbelly of their discontent. Discontent and contempt are two different sides of the same coin. Once the rage escalates, narcissists are at their most hostile, devious, delusional and destructive. Why confront a monster when you can simply disconnect . The possibility or probability of being badly defeated should be considered.
Be wise, let go.
Accept that you are in dangerous territory.
Revenge is best served cold. Vindictiveness is difficult to counter and only tends to spiral out of control. Best to control the field by balancing your short term satisfactions with your long term goals. Anything you feed will grow. Therefore, if you feed this disturbed ego it will become monstrous. Keep the attention on the narcissist muted, subliminal and under wraps. Don’t give away your insights to the opponent you are dealing with.
Narcissistic encounters are often mind numbing. Your emotional energy and well being must be protected from narcissistic assaults. Learning what motivates the narcissist is your best defense in any confrontational situation. Power hungry, status conscious, insecure and irrational people are inherently unstable.
Emotionally, narcissists lack a coherent response strategy. They are unpredictable and distorted in their thinking and behavior. If you know you are facing a time bomb, why would you set it off?
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-way-to-confront-a-narcissist-for-someone-who-has-been-through-it
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What can
narcissistic rage
lead to?
:tazdev:
Narcissistic rage leads to distraction.
The narcissist is raging because they have been caught out, exposed, revealed as the idiot hypocrite they truly are.
Their rage is to distract you from their hypocrisy.
If you are stronger than them, you can mock and ridicule them, make sport of them as psychopaths do, publically humiliating them because how dare they.
If you are not, you must distract them.
Remain calm. Becoming overly submissive will just excite them further and make you look guilty.
Focus on the solution.
Disarm them with your interest in their supposed problem.
Reason with them, not to cause conflict, but to look for answers. Take the part not of an opponent, but of an extra brain, trying to help them find solutions to regain their grandiosity.
Exhaust them.
Wear them out.
There's no opponent here.
They're just swinging in the wind.
Remain calm.
But....
.... be prepared to defend yourself physically.
Without signalling that you will.
Scan the room for weapons, exits, formulate a plan if you are attacked.
Remain calm.
Keep them talking.
You will take your revenge for their impertinence later.
_____________________________________
Physical abuse. A life of hell! Complete mental torture.
We develop PTSD.
Therapy for the victim.
No apology just blame on the victim for the rage. Everything is our fault!
Silent treatment because we didn’t breathe right and we caused them to rage.
victim will have to apologize just to find peace. Then they may love bomb you back, just to rage all over again when you ask a simple question!
They never change!
_______________________________________
I know in my heart what it can truly lead to. And I am waiting. It is coming. These people (I believe) are capable of anything and all things.). They are committed to destroying someone. Even if it is only one person they are able to destroy at a time…they will find the way to do it.
They have no soul. It has gone away. Please remember that they choose this path. They are not innocent. God has given them many chances to be saved and to re-direct this lives and thoughts.
___________________________________________
What can narcissistic rage lead to?
It can lead to murder.
The first time I experience narcissistic rage, was a year into it, the day he dropped the bullshit mask and lead me into a world of shite.
He flipped into a rage because, he flagged me down on his bike, less than a block from our house, in a torrential downpour, while I was driving a topless jeep, and I didn't pull over?
I never found out what tf he needed me to pull over for or why he would get that mad over it.
If you ask why they are so mad or even look at them, it's the wrong way, and a perceived slight.
If you turn and walk away to disengage, you best watch your back. The ex nark, I dealt with, hurled a heavy, thick glassed rum bottle, directed at the back of my head that night.
I never even saw it coming, he never lost his temper with me, so I didn't expect it but I sure felt the wind, right before it busted into a mirror that exploded into a thousand pieces, all over me, literally less than a foot from my face. Lucky for me, he was aiming to miss?
When a nark goes into a rage, it's chaotic confusion for the victim. You don't know what caused the nark to have such violent raging anger but whatever it was, it's ALL your fault and you are the new target from then on out.
All you can do is sit there in disbelief, as the nark destroys one thing after another, while they keep looking back, to make sure they have your full attention.
If you try to stand up for yourself or say anything during their rages, it can also lead to the following:
A blitz attack, while you're in mid sentence.
A trip to the ER.
Your personal belongings being destroyed, like your fender strat being thrown into the
yard.
Your pet being kicked, picked up by the ear, slammed into that closed door or thrown across the room.
Picking up your pet and cradling him in the narx arms, while threatening to kill the mofo, if you say one more FELAFELEN word.
Threats of physically violence against you.
Threats to kill you, murder you, commiting suicide or a double suicide.
Things that you shared with the nark in an intimate setting, either thrown in your face, or threats to use as blackmail.
If say you're going to call the police, the nark will threaten to rat you out on your pot stash and remind you that they own the FELAFELEN town and no one will believe your stupid ass anyway.
Tell you that he never acted like this in past relationships, raging or breaking everything in the house with anyone other than YOU.
Make phone calls to previous exes (demoted flying monkey) in front of you on speaker phone asking them if the nark ever went into a rage, breaking sh!t while he was with them? The X DFM say, “No, she brings out the worst in you.” Hangs up and says, “See, you stupid fk, you made me do this sh!t!”
Have the ex wife (another demoted flying monkey) come over the next day to pick up her child and witness the aftermath of his rage, only to belittle and blame you for it, to try and be convinced that it's your fault.
It leads to a never-ending cycle of abuse in Hell with a Demon Troll and could possibly end your life.
Bye Troll!!!
Bye demoted circus freaks!!!
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Assault.
Physical mental and emotional child abuse.
Malicious destruction of property.
Arson.
Attempted murder.
False statement to the police and to a judge.
Wrongful prosecution.
Grand Theft.
Perjury in a court of law.
Spiteful marital infidelity.
I know that I left some out. Most of these are personal experience. Some of the experiences of people that I know and trust.
Narcissistic behavior is dangerous, particularly cluster B malignant narcissists. They lack basic human empathy. You could be dying from a heart attack and they wouldn't even look for a phone to call an ambulance.
That actually happened to me.
Think about that.
______________________________________
Their rages are terrifying and senseless. They can be fine one moment, and then break into a rage out of nowhere.
With me and the ex-narcissist, this happened mostly in the car when he was driving. It got so bad that he would try to run into other cars on purpose, trying to scare me. He would scream at me and try to drown my voice out. He would also take his anger out on other people, or anyone who was there at the time.
I don't like recalling the words he would call me. He called me some very horrible words, language that I would never use. Just totally vulgar. He would say that I was stupid, just out of nowhere.
I think that is what is so dangerous about malignant narcissists and psychopaths. This unpredictability. You never know when it is going to happen. You may end up becoming like one of the victims in a Daily Mail article.
Also, I remember towards the end, I started resenting being around him. Once, we went to a lodge during winter, and I felt like I didn’t want to be with him anymore. He brought a negative energy everywhere we went.
It was almost as if people could sense his hostility, because they would act like that with him before he even opened his mouth.
It was almost as if bad things followed him.
I noticed this happening more and more with time. One day I will write about the supernatural occurrences that happened around him, and I will include that in my book.
Maybe they do actually get their karma.
https://www.quora.com/What-can-narcissistic-rage-lead-to
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What makes/causes a narcissist to collapse?
A collapse happens when the narcissist doesn't have anybody to go to. From what I've seen, a collapse can happen when the narcissist has a very close, probably romantic partner that they have relied on very heavily for the supply, and this partner has really never let them down.
This partner has always provided them all the reassurance they need, has always reacted to them emotionally to all their provocations. They've been very, very dependable, and then all of a sudden, they stop reacting. Maybe they didn't really have any backups ready.
I think this can also happen in a situation where a narcissist really doesn't have any control over anything. An example of this may be when a narcissist is perhaps incarcerated or maybe committed to a mental hospital for some reason, or maybe any situation in which a narcissist is forced to realize that he or she really doesn't have control over the whole world, that the narcissist is capable of being overpowered, that there are others that may, at times, have authority over the narcissist, that the narcissist cannot defy.
Being forced to reckon with reality, being forced to recognize that they are not the center of the universe, can cause a collapse.
________________________________________
What makes/causes a narcissist to collapse?
Its the same mechanism that causes a narcissist to need excessive admiration.
The resources, kindness, love, admiration, money etc being devoured by the person prevents collapse.
Now what would cause this terrible need?
Its the way the person thinks. A narcissist does not believe in innate value. They believe value exists in the outside world.
They devalue their inner core.
Very big deal.
Somehow, somewhere, they agreed with some horrible thought, that whispered
“You are nothing”
“I know” responded the person.
And they almost collapsed.
Instead of collapsing, they bargained: they would trade any and everything to be something.
“Ok,” responded the horrible thought.
So first they must forget they are nothing.
Because you see, to build something you need a foundation.
I am Nothing is not a stable foundation.
So the little horrible voice did its thing, and their foundation became “ I am the best.”
I mean, if you’re going to build something out of thin air, it might as well be your most desired fantasy. Something worth it to counteract the worthless.
The person was relieved.
Now they have to keep this foundation going. Keep this feeling alive, in order to have or be or do anything.
Without the foundation, I am the best, they are nothing.
Without the outside world giving them the value they lack on the inside, they collapse.
After all, all value exists externally.
Because there’s nothing to you says the horrible voice.
This aches.
But the narcissist refuses to feel it.
Instead they think “I need admiration”. “I am the best”
“I trade whatever it takes to make sure everyone knows I am the best”
They need everything to combat the voice.
After all, that was the deal.
Trade everything so that you can keep this pretend foundation in place.
If you have nothing to trade you will collapse.
You give to the voice, but you never stop to ask if its a liar.
And it never stops talking to you.
_________________________________
Narcissistic collapse is a phenomenon that occurs when a narcissist's grandiose sense of self is shattered and they experience a profound loss of self-esteem and self-worth.
This can be caused by a number of factors, such as a significant life event that challenges their sense of superiority or invincibility, a perceived betrayal or abandonment by someone they value, or a sudden realization that their behavior has caused harm to others.
When a narcissist experiences a collapse, they may become depressed, anxious, or even suicidal. It is important to note that while narcissistic collapse can be a painful experience for the individual, it can also be an opportunity for growth and self-reflection.
___________________________________________
Here’s my answer from a similar question. I added an edit at the bottom to explain what it is:
There was a point in all 3 of my marriages where I saw the beginning stages of a collapse. I only knew what I was looking at the last time it happened, but it was pretty incredible every time, and not in a good way.
These 3 individuals were as different from each other as night and day, but their collapsing selves could have all been the same person. You know when you’re watching a horror movie and you see the classic scene where someone is begging and pleading for their life? You know how every time you see a scene like that, you’re basically seeing the exact same person? No matter what the character in the movie was like before this classic, disturbing scene, they all become the same character when they’re crying, begging and pleading for their life.
It’s kind of like that.
They become very child like. Very helpless and terrified. Very erratic and irrational. Their faces contort the same way. They are like burn victims with no skin. There’s nothing left to protect them. They’re like helpless starving babies. It doesn’t matter if it’s a grown middle aged man who’s a business owner and a community leader who mentors people and maintains a stable upper class life.
Suddenly without warning, he’s a helpless terrified child. And there’s nothing you can do but stare in horror. It’s not something you ever forget. Each time this happened, it followed severe devaluation and abuse, because it happened when I finally got hurt badly enough to pull away from them, but I never felt any kind of satisfaction or revenge when I saw this.
I don’t know what they are feeling when they are going through this, but I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, which is literally what all 3 of them were in the moment it was happening. It looks like they’re being swallowed by the gates of hell.
Edit: Decompensation, or collapse, is when a narcissist loses “supply” and doesn’t have a back up plan. It’s when the routines and people they have established fail. These routines and people are put in place for the narcissist to have a reliable way to support their ego and shield themselves from the pain of their damaged self esteem.
In other words, these things are used to support the false persona they have created. When “supply” fails, they are forced to acknowledge on some level that their false ego isn’t real and that they really are only what they really are. The damaged, hurt, dysfunctional “true self” is exposed when the false ego, which normally protects it, has crumbled from lack of validation.
People sometimes think they are seeing the narcissist’s “true self” when the narcissist is being cruel and abusive. They’re not. The closest you’ll ever get to seeing their true self is when you see them collapse.
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-causes-a-narcissist-to-collapse
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:monalisa:
-
Why does the narcissist like
to play the victim?
You're applying a rational, linear thought process to emotionally stunted, irrational & delusional individuals.
Certainly, there are more adaptive methods to empower one's self, but they wouldn't be a narcissist if they implemented those, would they?
Playing victim is an emotionally immature method of deflecting responsibility. With a narcissist, these ego defenses are subconscious & automatic.
Playing victim “allows “ the narcissist to be a historical revisionist & thus, in their minds anyway, control the narrative. If the person on the receiving end is unaware of what's happening, they can plant a seed of ever-increasing self-doubt within the other person. Someone who is riddled with self-doubt is malleable & thus easier to control.
Playing victim or eliciting pity also makes it difficult for the person being manipulated to hold the narcissist accountable. Since narcissists tend to target highly empathic individuals, their manipulative nature leans into tugging at your empathy so you feel increasingly uncomfortable holding them responsible for their appalling behavior.
So while playing victim doesn't make sense to you, narcissists don't make sense to anyone.
_____________________________________
The same way hypochondriacs and people who create Munchhausen syndrome by proxy get there’s.
Its attention.
It’s control over other people's feelings. If you portray yourself as a victim, it causes others to feel sad for you or angry over the situation that has befallen upon you. They have successfully hijacked your emotions which equals control. Some kind-hearted people may even offer up gifts or money to help them in their made up crisis. This also benefits them, not only in emotional control but monetary as well. This gives them a feeling of control due to their ability to manipulate the unassuming.
If a narcissist knows they will not be able to triumph over a situation and look like the “good guy” doing so, the next best thing is to play the victim. This allows them to maintain some sort of control, even if it’s minute.
Anything is better than nothing.
I find this type of behavior both disgusting and pathetic. Just know this: what happens in the dark will come to light. I know it sounds cliché but I trust it. You should try too.
______________________________________
They want pity from everyone. They crave it then they got to have it. It keeps them from actually looking into themselves. Because they do that, shame comes with shame and a narcissist is like oil and water. They're never in a position of weakness because they lie to everyone they can about their main Supply as we're leaving them, because that person's caught on what they're about.
And instead of listening to the main Supply (the only one who has their back and loves) they'll never open that can of worms and look at themselves because that will destroy them.
Shame is something a narcissist will never allow; they would rather die before being ashamed.
__________________________________________
They rewrite their history of abuse to avoid shame. They abuse people and then write a whole new narrative in their brain that blames the person they abused. They avoid accountability and get attention.
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Why-does-the-narcissist-like-to-play-the-victim-Doesnt-that-place-them-in-a-position-of-weakness-How-does-being-the-v
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:bubbly:
-
Why is it so dangerous to
interact with a narcissist?
They are ruthless. They are desperate to meet their unreasonable and undefinable needs. They are easily offended. They have little to no empathy. They do not care about the welfare of others. They are extremely entitled to absolutely anything they want. They are stuck in survival mode. They cannot trust love, so cannot receive it or give it. They have no limits.
Narcissists are like caged animals in a sense. They are viciously defending themselves against imagined threats. They will do anything. They cannot trust you.
All of this adds up to a potentially dangerous person. A person that will always believe he/she is justifiably defending him or herself. A person that imagines being attacked when they aren’t. A person that believes they are entitled to take anything or do anything for their own good, regardless of Law, consequences or civility and no matter what it costs others.
Stand in their way and they will fk you up.
You are warned.
____________________________________
Suicide, depression, anxiety, PTSD, heart ache, loss of self, loss of self esteem, loss of self respect, loss of family and friends, loss of job, home, property, youth, peace of mind, happiness, trust in people, zest for life……….
You can go crazy.
It can take months or years to recover, you will be changed forever. This total mind fk will put you down so far you won't know how you will hold a job or make it through the day. You may break down and not make it. You will struggle with even wanting to make it. It will be sure misery with them, and them pure hell without. The worst place for you will be back with them and you will know that but your whole mind body and soul will want to go back.
You can't even imagine, you really don't wanna know. You don't want the burden every single person who has been narcissistically abused carries. Trust me be one of the ones who can't understand what the big thing about narcissistic abuse is all about.
Be afraid. If you have not been narcissistically abused you will never understand it. You don't want this knowledge. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, DANGER, WILL ROBINSON, DANGER!
This is no freaking joke.
______________________________________
The danger is that you will lose yourself because the narc will strip all of your self-esteem. I wasn't myself when I was with my ex narc. At first he told me that he liked me the way I was; that I'm feisty, opinionated and smart and that he doesn't mind that I have problems but then suddenly he didn't like that about me anymore.
He criticised everything I said and made me feel that anything I said was stupid and he used my mental health again me to try to make me crazy. I'm usually very opinionated and speak my mind, but I felt that I could no longer do that. I found myself having to agree with his stupid ideas and go along with everything he said.
I lost all my dignity when he'd play mind games. He played on my fears. The more I seemed to want him the more satisfaction it seemed to give him. I was so scared he'd break up with me that I'd chase after him and beg him not to. He'd ignore me knowing that it made me more anxious and then later when he did reply write really cryptic messages that would make me more confused.
In a normal healthy relationship you shouldn't feel like you're constantly going to lose someone. In the end he discarded me because I had finally had enough and stood up for myself. He was making me so miserable that something in me just snapped. He behaved so badly the night that we broke up and he blamed me as a narc usually does, they blame everyone else. I refused to beg him and run after him. I wanted him to run after me but he didn't.
So yeah a narc will suck any energy, dignity and self-worth out of you! I was with him for 4 months and he did that to me! I can't imagine what a shell of a person he'd reduce me to if I'd been with him for much longer. My family we're so concerned; they said that I wasn't myself and I was so unhappy all the time.
If you think that you're with a narc, RUN.
Run as fast as you can and don't look back. A narc will ruin you! That's the biggest danger. Even though we broke up months ago the mental scars won't go away. I'm scared to trust any guy and let my guard down. I'm scared that I'm not good enough. I felt that I had met the Mr. Right at first with my ex, I thought that I would be truly happy but it was all a facade. My ex fooled me and I'm so scared that I'll be fooled again.
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Narcissists are a threat to your mental health. The most dangerous part about them is that most of the time, victims of narcissistic abuse don’t even know that they’re victims.
The narc can be very covert and charming, and can play several games to make their victims second guess themselves. Narcissists also get a jolt of energy and purpose from hurting people, and so many times they actually look for people who they can hurt and get fuel from.
Typically, they take their victims through several stages designed to break the victim down so that the victim is a codependent of the narcissist.
Check out the way that they do this:
Idealization: Narcissists get their victims attached to them by seeming like Prince (or Princess) Charming. In the very beginning stages, they’ll play a little game with you called “love bombing” where they shower you with time, attention, and sometimes even money. You’ll get addicted to this perfect treatment, and essentially, addicted to them.
Devaluation: After the narc has you hooked, he devalues you in order to give you the impression that he is above or better than you. This stage is designed to break down your self-esteem so that you won’t leave the narc. You’ll constantly doubt yourself and wonder if you’re good enough. Slowly but surely, your self-esteem will erode. This is usually the stage when the narc implements two more games: Triangulation and Gaslighting.
Triangulation is when the narc makes you feel like you’re in competition with another woman (or other women). To be clear, narcissists are NEVER faithful. Whether it be emotionally or physically, they are always cheating in some way. Cheating is a horrible offense within itself, but the narc takes his emotional affairs to another level by noticeably pulling away from you and toward other women. He wants you to compete harder for his attention.
The narc plays this game because he wants you to chase him.
Gaslighting is when the narc makes you believe that everything is your fault. He cheated? Oh, that was only because you were never around. He lied? That’s only because you are hard to talk to. He puts you down when he talks to you? Well clearly if you had taken better care of yourself, he wouldn’t have to point out the obvious. In the narc’s eyes, nothing is ever his fault. It’s always yours.
The Discard: This is the last stage of the relationship cycle with a narc. Because the narc’s goal is to ultimately gain fuel from hurting you, he will abandon you in the worst way possible when he feels like you can’t adequately satisfy him anymore.
This abandonment has nothing to do with you.
In fact, victims should take it as a compliment that the narc feels like he can no longer use and control them. This cruel way of abandoning you is the narc’s way of getting to witness all of your hurt and pain. It’ll give him great power to realize that he is the one who caused all of that pain.
To make matters worse, after they’ve put you through this entire relationship cycle, they try to restart it through a technique called “Hoovering.”
They’ll try to suck you back into the relationship by saying and doing all of the right things. But, the end result of a relationship with a narcissist never changes. He’ll discard you for a second, third, and fourth time with no regret.
If narcs wore a sign that read, “I’m lying about who I am. I really just want to hurt you for fun,” then they may not be as big of a threat. After all, at least people would know what they’re getting into.
But because narcs are such skilled liars, they are dangerous to anyone who they set eyes on.
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They can figure you out in a blink of an eye. What you like, dislike, what buttons to push to get positive responses and which buttons to push to destroy you when they are ready.
They can get past even the toughest defenses by mirroring you and complementing everything you do, say and think. They’re literally, secretly killing you with kindness and you don’t even have a clue. They have been doing this all their lives and I don’t care how intelligent, savvy, worldly you are, you’re no match for a life long con artist.
Have you ever watched a Vegas show, where a “slight of hand” performer will pick someone from out of an audience and while talking to them steal their watch, keys and wallet right in front of them and neither they nor the audience ever sees how it happens? That’s what a narcissist does to your emotions, self worth, and mind…only they don’t let you in on what they have done to you.
They’re so dangerous because they control you without you even suspecting it. Then they’ll use that control to torture, enslave, manipulate you and in the end destroy you…and you’ll never see it coming. Then they’ll disappear leaving you to blame yourself. It all started when they figured you out in the very beginning. The moment you said,”Hi, I’m…”
Update: I’ve had a few comments that I make the narcissist sound super-human, so I want to make this perfectly clear: No, to me they are sub human. Only someone below humanity would do these horrible things to an unsuspecting soul. How do you beat them, recognize the signs and get away from them as fast and far as you can.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-so-dangerous-to-interact-with-a-narcissist
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Do narcissists know
they hurt people?
They don’t care.
This is hard to explain, because you could say “yes” and you could also say “no”, but either answer is going to be interpreted through your perspective, which is not their perspective.
Even saying “They don’t care” does not convey how they experience this, because you look at it from what it would mean for YOU to not care if you were hurting someone. It’s not the same kind of “don’t care”.
They don’t understand what it means to hurt someone. They only understand how it makes THEM feel to control someone else’s emotions. They have little to no empathy. They don’t understand that you have feelings outside of how your reactions make them feel. They know that they’re hurting you, but they are not emotionally mature enough to relate to what that even means. It’s a vague concept. And it’s a concept that they couldn’t care less about. Your feelings are not even an after thought.
They can see you crying. They can see you are upset. But there is no “you” behind the tears. Your tears only exist to either make them feel powerful, annoyed or indifferent.
Other than how THEIR feelings are affected by your displays of emotion, nothing else exists. You aren’t a real person. Only they are. You display emotion, but only they have feelings. They are the only thing that matters. You are a prop in a movie about them. You are a thing that does stuff for them. They are the sun and you are a planet. They are the star of the movie and you are an extra. You aren’t real. You don’t matter. You only exist to serve their needs. Do they know they’re hurting you? They don’t even understand that question. Why would it matter?
_______________________________________________
Yes.
Mine finds it quite amusing. I picture him like the Cheshire cat, toying around with little mice and digging his claws into them when they attempt to leave. Not only does he know he hurts people, he makes it appear as if he is just playing with them or tempts them into coming closer to him with something that does not hurt, with the sole intention of hurting them once they are close enough. Do not be fooled by the purring or helpless yelps. Would you just ignore this? What type of person could…?
He never moves, he makes you come to him. That way, it was “your decision.” He does not believe he is truly hurting anyone, as he smirks, because after all, they are the ones who decided to come to him. He knows it hurts. He resolves that you wanted it, so it must not hurt too bad. You wanted the seduction and pleasure, you wanted to help, you wanted to save the yelping kitten.
Withholding, deceit, coercion, enticement, and seduction all work together to position you. How the kitten looks depends on how you want it to look. He puts great effort into crafting and portraying these things but later pretends as if you are just so eager to be hurt that he is only aiding in the inevitable. If you are going to be a junkie, you might as well be his.
Welcome to Wonderland, stay a while. As an ex heroin dealer, he understood quite well how to administer just the right amount of antidote to get you to lay down. There, there.
All Narcissists think like this. You wanted to get high anyway, so the fact that they gave it to you for free, or let you sleep on their couch while you did so, doesn't make them responsible. In fact, it makes you ungrateful because it could have been worse. Oh you liked it, you wanted it, you're so selfish, and they aren't the others.
There is almost like a pride taken in being the worst of the worst, because of the contrast of “good.” Yeah, I'm killing you, but not really because I am giving you what you wanted. I could be pimping you out too, but I am so noble that I am not. I know it hurts, but you expect perfection. You said you would love me for me? Unconditionally. Cheshire, yelping, back and forth. I've given you shelter, and given you protection and comfortability to make your withdrawals bearable.
And I'm right here, when you come down. Shhhhhh. I have not even mentioned the euphoric highs! You weren't complaining then! ;) You know they feel good.. don't you? “Fair exchange isn't robbery.” If it hurts so bad, why do you keep coming back? On and on and on with how much I hurt you. *blank stare* Are you ready to feel good again? Let's just forget about all of this, start over, run away, I'm sowwwwie…
It just goes in a loop. They are heartless, soulless individuals. How I wrote it seems harsh, but if he could say it out loud, and much of it he did, this is what it would look like. It is not your fault. They use everything about you to create the high, make you dependent on it, use push and pull tactics to make you demand it, give it back, take it away, offer it back when you are finally sober, and then leave.
The high is not sex, money, an escape from your past, financial stability, or protection. It is not even feelings of helping them after they play the victim, or the bond the two of you share in regard to how others have hurt or failed you. They “know" all of these things to be true.
The high is how these things are manipulated to reflect your own self image, that looks as if it is melting in the mirror before your eyes. Bigger, then so small, like Alice. Who are you anymore? They purposely expose you to the deepest parts of yourself, which is why when they are gone, they are hard to look at. It is not that you are so ugly that you can not bare to look at yourself.
It is most definitely NOT that they know you more than you know yourself. They don't even know themselves. It is that they studied you, molded your dosage into just enough to make you feel good, but not so overwhelming that you couldn't take it, and increased it over time. Then, they began reducing it (your image, “the high you are after"), and regardless of whether or not you understand why, you begin making demands, looking for it, begging for them/it not to disappear.
Through mirroring and projection, it feels like they are taking you with them, and leaving you as them. IT IS NOT TRUE!!! They start the process all over, and you look crazy because you feel like you need it/them. It is what they have taken that you need, which is the good, pure aspects about you. They illuminate who you are in the beginning, but slowly pick away all that you are. By doing so, it appears as if you need them to validate who you are, but you do not.
When you sober up, you realize they were only hurting you with you. They are dealers, all of them. Dealers all need suppliers or they have NO PRODUCT. The product that they are dealing you exists within you. The way they portray you to others has been “cut,” behind closed doors. The image in the mirror can not leave on its own.
If it hurts, it is because you are holding onto it. Don't let go. Don't be afraid of it. Underneath all that they have cut it with, to make it impure, is still you. You know who you are, and if nothing else, the way they purposely hurt you will help you discover who you are not.
Cutting heroin on the street makes it sell faster, and makes the product last longer, equaling more profit for the dealer in the long run. If heroin is not cut, a dealer makes no money. For Narcissists, “money" is the same as power & control. They could give a fk less what they have to use; fentanyl, rat poison, who cares. They do not care how it hurts others; it isn't personal, its business.
Heroin, in its purest form, is the most valuable. The purest form of you exists with or without them and all their add ins. The purest form of you can only be supplied by you. Without you, as the base, there is no product, at all. They know it hurts you to be cut, but it helps them. What hurts them is if you remove you. The only way to make sure this never happens is to make it seem like you are a different ingredient - one of the add ins, or to take your purity and delude it, to make it as if all ingredients are one in the same, making it impossible to “go back.”
It isn't true. They sell it all, to their fans, other women, flying monkeys, and the people in your life. They sold it to you. Cool. Every dealer must still re-up. The thing they re-up on is your innocence, naivety, empathy, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding. Never forget. If they “sell" you at your purest form, they do not make anything and remain broke.
Do not give them any of the above. They do not want these things in their purest form. They want them because they are “the base.” The mix ins will come from them, without you, and they are harsh and intolerable alone. They know this. YOU are made to feel like an addict, but in reality you are the supplier. When they come back to re-up, refuse.
Protect your purity at all costs. You're not addicted, insane, or out of line to want to hold on to yourself. You are obligated to. Make the motherfker go broke and search to find their own pieces, the ones you already have in yourself, that they do not, and collapse, whatever. You are the supplier. And truly, if you read it over, with all they do to obtain it, they are the junkies.
Starve them.
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Yes.
YES THEY DO
It is who they are…it is their nature.
And they enjoy it very much, your suffering is actually what makes them feel good.
I’ve lived around these people my entire life and I have noticed this is the case.
Many of you can’t fathom someone who was the love of your life is now a monster who could absolutely care less about your existence and loves to watch you fail because of THEM.
It’s unspeakable to you that someone like this could actually exist.
Well, the truth is that EVIL does exist on planet earth and you are now a witness to it.
It’s a betrayal and destruction like no other on this planet.
The Devil is in the details…
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-they-hurt-people
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THE SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE
OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
Only survivors know the insidious depths of narcissistic abuse. Even psychologists today still don’t know everything about narcissism, so there’s so much to uncover. This leaves room for analyzing and theorizing various perspectives that can help us bring clarity to such a complex issue. It could also help us heal because you will never get the closure you need from your past abuser(s), so knowledge becomes your closure and divine wisdom gives you the peace of mind that’s been long overdue.
The spiritual perspective uncovers the unseen layers of narcissistic abuse, which we know leave invisible scars. For something to leave invisible scars, that would mean the abuse had to be psychological and spiritual in some form. These are abstract concepts that are unseen, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
OUR ENERGY IS MULTIDIMENSIONAL
Spiritual energy is present in the body. Just because we can’t see it physically doesn’t mean it’s not there. Most people don’t believe the spiritual realm exists, leaving them with so many unanswered questions and a lack of understanding as to WTF has happened and how to heal from it. This confusion and lack of direction makes the pain much more excruciating – that’s why narcissists never give you closure. Closure brings peace and they don’t want you to have that. They want you to go crazy for them because that is how they control you.
Narcissistic abuse tends to be invisible as it leaves no physical evidence (unless they’re also physically abusive). It still damages the brain and disrupts homeostasis (the balance of your body), which could leave you with physical ailments and medical issues overtime. Stress does kill and that is a fact.
Your energy gets drained. There’s no way to track or measure the amount, but that doesn’t negate the fact that your energy is getting depleted. The mere presence of an abusive individual can cause anxiety to rise which affects not only the circulation of the blood, but also your energy. In Eastern Medicine, they call it “Qi,” then there’s the “Meridian lines” of the body. Both concepts are fascinating to research.
From my understanding, these are energy points and trauma can cause blockages around your body which can lead to chronic muscle pain and stiffness, nerve pain (like sciatica), and in some cases fibromyalgia. It is a known psychological fact that “trauma is stored within the body because abuse impacts you on a cellular level.” I’ve read that somewhere. This can include nerve cells as well.
Neural pathways can be slowed down or have blockages, causing short attention span, mental fogginess, delayed learning, short-term memory loss, and emotional dysregulation. Constant gaslighting for years can cause these symptoms to arise, making it hard to think clearly and make the right moves. It’s easy to manipulate a mind that’s broken, which is why they try to break you – that’s the only way they can keep you.
THE DARK ENERGY OF THE SOULLESS ONES
When we get abused, our bodies can feel our Spirit getting hit. Being in the presence of an evil individual can drain you of your life force, especially when you don’t know what’s going on. An encounter with a narcissist is a form of spiritual warfare because they carry demons within them that they refuse to rebuke because they have accepted them for so long. They become so twisted as they relish in the suffering of others that they become no different than demons. They get to a point where “they are given away to a reprobate mind” because they have used their free will to do evil for their own sick pleasure, causing their mind to become useless.
A person who enjoys hurting innocent people does not feel remorse, so how can they actually repent when they don’t even feel bad about what they’ve done? If anything, they do everything to hide the truth, destroy their victims, and smear the names of the truthtellers who survived or witnessed the injustice.
The longer the soulless ones carry on their trail of destruction, the more abusive and toxic they get as they age. The demonic energy has fermented inside of them for so long, and without repentance, they are going to get worse. So, being around these types of individuals can make you fall ill, go insane, or hit an early grave. Them draining you of your energy through verbal annihilation, body shaming, blame-shifting, identity-stealing, dream-killing, triangulating, neglecting, disrespecting, cheating, love deprivation, manipulating, emotional blackmailing, intimidating, etc… all of this is robbing you of your life source, which makes you age faster. The body is working too hard to keep up, and on a deeper level, your spiritual energy is being zapped out of you to such an extent where you feel dead. The soulless ones want your soul to be dead. They want to convert you to nothingness.
They view your light as a “threat,” so they want to eradicate it because that’s the only way the darkness can shine. The demons inside of them are feeding off of your energy. It’s like having tapeworms – no matter how much you eat, it never goes to you, and your body is left malnourished. They’re pretty much eating you alive because the evil in them hates the light inside of you, which is spiritual warfare – the battle between light and darkness. The envy inside of the narcissist makes them both admire and despise their targets the same way Lucifer envied God. It was envy, arrogance, and narcissism that caused Lucifer to fall from grace because even God couldn’t trust him.
Why?
Because Lucifer wanted to take God’s place, and whenever someone wants to take your place, that means they want to destroy you. How can you trust someone who wants to get rid of your existence just so they can steal your essence?
You can’t live harmoniously with a person like that. It was so serious that despite God’s mercy, even God had to kick Lucifer out of Heaven.
RECOVERY
Once you break free from them, that’s when your healing begins, but the spiritual warfare still continues because you were left with the residue of their darkness. The malignant ones leave you with a cursed mark to ensure your self-destruction when they’re long gone, and it usually comes in the form of sexual abuse. You can read more about that here. They have left you with a “poison transfusion,” kind of like a blood transfusion, but instead of blood, it’s energy. They have stolen your good energy and left you with the negative – the dark energy they had before is now in you. They have robbed you of your will to live.
You start to experience CPTSD as a result, which includes nightmares, flashbacks, and intrusive thoughts. You may experience sleep paralysis from stress, spiritual attacks, and/or possible witchcraft spells casted against you by your abuser. Spiritual warfare is waged when you decide to walk away from the demon because they have lost their source of fuel. That’s why they rage at you physically or attack you spiritually in your dreams when you walk away. They need you more than you know, and they hate that shite!
Recovering is very difficult in the beginning because you are at your most vulnerable moment. Just breaking free from them means you need to get your energy back ASAP otherwise you’ll be prone to losing yourself and possibly self-delete. This moment is like when you just finished donating plasma, and you need time to recover and replenish – that’s the healing part that you must do right after you escape from them. It is essential.
This is why it’s so easy to internalize the pain from the devaluation and discard – the toxic connection is intense and hard to break. That’s why they lovebomb so hard because they NEED you to be emotionally invested. It’s how they keep you spiritually in bondage to them, and it goes back to generational curses. Usually, you end up with people who are like your parent (of the opposite gender or same gender, depending on your sexual orientation). Not only parents, but it could also be foster parents, stepparents, caregivers, whoever was around you during your formative years. Narcissistic abuse during childhood sets you up for abusive relationships in the future if you remain unhealed and unaware of these patterns. You can read more about that here.
GENERATIONAL CURSES AND FAMILIAR SPIRITS
Generational curses continue to haunt a lineage when no one has awakened to the truth about what’s been going on – it’s too harsh for many to stomach that their family dynamic has been dysfunctional, or some fear the retaliation they’ll get for exposing the abusers.
Familiar spirits know your elders and ancestors, so they know you on a deep level. They know exactly who to send to lovebomb and deceive you. The goal of the evil is to trap you, and what better way to do that than to use a distorted view of “love” which narcissists are highly skilled at displaying. They use love as a weapon to bind us to the demon and keep us in the dark. Hence, why they call it being in a “dark place.”
The lines between love and abuse become blurred, so it’s difficult for us to see what’s real love and what’s not. The confusion they bring is insane! Making someone lose their sense of reality is the ultimate psychospiritual murder – this can cause you to fall into the hands of another abuser consecutively. That’s why some people find themselves in relationships with the same types of people who may even be similar to their parents, childhood abusers, or both. It’s time to break free from those toxic cycles. You can read more about that here.
LETTING GO
The more aware you become about this – it will alarm you, and it may disturb you. It will anger you. The truth triggers an intense awakening – the fact that these individuals either never loved you, couldn’t love you, or were unable to. Whatever the situation is, forgiveness liberates you from that heavy load. It doesn’t mean you take them back, it just means you don’t hate them, and you’ve chosen to move on peacefully.
Disclaimer: Although I am a neuroscience student, I’m not a doctor and can not give medical advice or a psychological diagnosis. My spiritual perspective is based on the knowledge I have currently. I do not have all the answers, I just like sharing my ideas and insight for the purpose of personal growth and self-healing.
-Yasira Damas
Footnotes
[1] The Spiritual Perspective of Narcissistic Abuse
https://powerofthemind.blog/2024/06/10/the-spirtual-perspective-of-narcissistic-abuse/
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Can people with NPD have
episodes where they are
actually very nice and supportive to you?
It’s all an act.
Behind your back, they talk total sh!t about you.
They think you are inferior, and not intelligent.
The only reason they would support you would be to make them look good.
I’ve lived around this population my entire life and I have never seen any difference.
They want you to blow away with the wind.
Instead become a giant grey immovable rock of Gibraltar.
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Absolutely! When they have run dry of supply, they have something to gain from you or they are love bombing you, either because they've done something wrong and they need to get you off the track of finding out or they are trying to win your trust back after catching them in something.
There is ALWAYS ulterior motives as to why a narcissist is nice and supportive. They pay for something because they know there is something in it for them. They take you somewhere because there is something in it for them. Mine love bombed after every cheat. Lasted for about two days and then he was done. But when he found out he could get money from me, the love bombing and “support” lasted longer.
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They need to have to put on a show to the entire world that their life is so great, and they want people to be envious of them. They seek admiration from anyone, anyway they can possible get that kind of attention.
In reality, they are so fked up in the head and have no idea about much in their lives. They like to project all of their frustrations out on you. You have taken the role as a human punching bag.
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Of course. Otherwise you would never get to “know" them. They are also really nice when they want something from you. If you are the partner, they tend to ignore you while they engage with and love on everyone or everything else.
When they turn to you, you’re flattered once again for the attention they are giving you. You feel like you got the person you originally met back again. When they get what they want from you they ignore you or talk disrespectfully around you or to your face. And it’s a crushing feeling.
It’s a vicious cycle.
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What can you expect when the narcissist is nice?
When they do something good?
You can expect something bad.
Narcissists are at their most dangerous, when they are nice.
For narcissists don't like putting you down when you are already down.
Not much fun in that.
In fact, narcissists don't even really enjoy putting you down when you are "ok", "good", or "well".
They can do better.
Narcissists like putting you down, when you are excited, flying high, feeling super eager.
When you are in that state which straddles mild excitement to pure bliss, you are now in their sweet zone.
And sometimes narcissists must do or say certain things, to get you in that sweet zone.
Pump you up.
Infuse you with those fruitful seeds, so they can later extract those nourishing byproducts.
Yes.
Now you are ripe.
Now you are where they need you to be.
They can now squeeze out the build up of scrummy supply nectars resting in your core, waiting for an opportunistic strike.
They do something good, now they must do something much worse.
So the narcissist is being nice, pumping you up?
Just wait for that other shoe to drop.
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Of course they can, but there will always be reasons.
One might be that the narc has so much side supply that they’re just feeling hunky-dory and so they’re nice to you. (Don’t count on this happening very often.)
Another reason is that they have some devious plan in mind and need you to be feeling good and pliable, so they’re buttering you up.
Of course, there’s the good ‘ol tried and true trauma bonding technique, where they are nice to you for a while and then treat you like dirt (or worse) for a while.
These are the first three that popped in my head, but I’m sure there are others.
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Oh yes I’ve witnessed them bending over backwards for people. People they hardly even know. Then coming home and treating their actual family worse than enemies.
There will always be benefits in everything Narcy does. Treating strangers, acquaintances, work colleagues or anyone outside of their own home well, feeds their ego, polishes their good reputation and helps maintain their mask of normality and good guy act.
The unfortunate people on the inside that can see behind the mask are left feeling nothing but resentment and sickness at the false act.
Remember not everyone is fooled by them! Try paying attention to the people that don’t fall under their spell, laugh at their jokes, or question their stories. These will also be the people that Narcy will avoid at all costs or smear to anyone who’ll listen.
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Yes, if you define “nice” as “you obey their highly-confining boundaries even as they trample yours.”
If you really don’t mind a relationship defined in terms of power and a list of demands, then interaction with a narcissist can be low-conflict in the short-to-medium term.
Quiet narcissists, relatively polite and pleasant for years on end, are nevertheless capable of grabbing a child by the hair and flinging her face-down onto concrete steps.
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If they do, it is likely they are seeking an answer to somehow use against you or have another nefarious reason for doing so. What they do must profit them in some way. The act of kindness is done to further their own objective not because they genuinely have the desire to be kind to you.
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When will that narcissist be nice ??
In the beginning when he is schmoozing ya, when he wants to fk you.
After ghosting you, to get back in your good graces to fk you again.
Yeah, those are the only times that narcissist is nice.
His default setting is mean, and as they say, mean people suck.
That narcissist sucks.
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There is fake empathy. There are a lot of people in the helping professions who are narcissistic. They get their jollies out of helping people and then getting narcissistic supply from all of the compliments and teddy bears that they get back.
Ministers and spiritual teachers get to go in front of groups and perform, essentially, and that really brings narcissists out of the woodwork. They can feign empathy pretty easily. They know what a minister is supposed to do and how they are supposed to act.
I have had personal experience with both these types, and I can tell you it is worse than your garden-variety narcissist. It is unexpected, unprofessional, and a betrayal of trust.
https://www.quora.com/Can-people-with-NPD-have-episodes-where-they-are-actually-very-nice-and-supportive-to-you
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How do I have a frank
conversation with a covert
narcissist about their
behaviour?
You don’t. Please don’t.
First, examine why you want to have that frank conversation.
To make them see your point of view?
To get them to truly see and hear you?
To get them to realize how hurtful they are to you?
To get them to change their behavior?
To get them to seek professional help?
None of those things will happen.
Ever.
It’s a harsh truth, but the sooner you let go of those dreams, the easier life becomes.
If you confront a covert narcissist about their behavior, here’s what will happen instead.
They will show you why you’re wrong.
They will belittle your vulnerabilities (like the desire to be seen and heard).
They will use knowledge of your hurt to hurt you more.
They will escalate the behaviors that bother you.
They will use any of the words you confront them with (covert narcissist) to both project at you and in their description of you to their flying monkeys.
Here’s what you do with that knowledge instead:
Recognize that covert narcissism is abuse and that it is impacting the way you think and feel.
Let go of the desire for them to change. It’s not just that they won’t. They can’t.
Hear them through a filter of, “is that actually true?” Am I really insecure? Am I too flirty?
Don’t collude with them in talking about others.
Don’t share deep thoughts and feelings (hopes, dreams, fears, insecurities, hurts).
Seriously, talk about the weather, sports, anything that doesn’t matter to you.
Respond, rather than react. (A response is calculated. A reaction is triggered and off the cuff.). A reaction gives them tons of supply.
Become indifferent to them (taking away their supply).
Let go of the desire for their flying monkeys to see the truth.
Most importantly, end the relationship and go no contact as soon as possible – put distance between yourself and your abuser.
Take care of you. You’re the only one who can and will.
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You can’t.
I had one with my mother and she waited 15 years to get me back. It left me homeless and mistreated by an ethnic community who believed her lies. Then she just died. She fked up my reputation. I gave up a career to stay near for her and she screwed me and that’s my mom.
Imagine how much less attached a partner is.
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You don’t.
Because narcissists aren’t capable of taking in feedback about themselves and then changing. They may listen, nod their head in understanding, promise to change….but then won’t. If you know that someone’s a narcissist, the best thing to do is to try to eliminate them from your life or reduce contact as much as possible.
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This may well not be the advice you want to hear, but I would say don’t try to have a frank conversation with a covert narcissist because it’s a waste of time and energy.
Whether your narcissist is aware or unaware of their disorder, they certainly won’t take kindly to you telling them anything. I would suggest that you either write everything you want to say on paper or in a message, read it to yourself in the way you would say it to the narc, and then tear it up or delete it without sending.
If this feels like the narcissist is getting away with their poor behaviour and you really need to say something, then make sure you are prepared for a backlash, and quite possibly being told you are the reason for their behaviour.
Remember: narcs crave supply. Whether the attention from you is positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. It’s attention; they will be satisfied to know they can provoke a strong reaction from you and that you spend time thinking about them.
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You don’t. You can’t.
If you have sussed they are a covert narcissist then surely you have recognised their behaviour makes no sense. What are you trying to achieve by having such a conversation with them?
Do you wish for them to have an epiphany?
Do you wish for them to realise how their behaviour has been for you?
So you want closure of some kind?
If it is a narcissist you are dealing with, none of these things will happen. What will happen? Possibly a bit of word salad… and more likely… it will get flipped onto you.
How dare you criticise a narcissist?? Sorry I digress a bit - but I will emphasise again - there is NO rational discussion of ANY kind to be had about a narcissist. It’s a waste of your energy to even try.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-have-a-frank-conversation-with-a-covert-narcissist-about-their-behaviour
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The difference between
Covert and Overt Narcissists
There are many different flavors of narcissists.
But, you know, if it walks like a duck.. quacks like one..
A narcissist is a narcissist.
They are all takers.
They are fakers.
They are all selfish.
They are all controlling.
They are all users.
They are all destroyers.
They are all abusers.
You see, however they present, they all have the same disorder with the same outcome.
The best way to think of any narcissist is to think of them all as vanilla no matter what different flavors they come in, toppings added, size selected, cone variety.. they all offer the same.
A moment on the lips.. a life time in therapy?
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They both do the same exact things behind closed doors.
There are the usual components of narcissism which accompany the grandiose delusions all narcissists have about themselves: believing they can do no wrong, blaming other people (especially you) for their own faults and failures, and using you like a dumpster to hurl their toxic emotions into. There is the stunning lack of empathy and the inability to care about your feelings. There are the countless misdeeds they commit against you in order to see you suffer because that makes them feel better about themselves.
It’s in public where the differences are noticeable.
Covert narcissist mask as upstanding citizens and “nice” people. They like to blend in with the crowd, as long as it’s the “right” crowd.
Overt narcissists just seem like garden variety show-offs at first. The reality is they’re much worse, because show-offs are harmless as long as you pay attention to them. You can even do it with a head shake and an eye roll and leave it at that, no harm done.
But any narcissists are anything but harmless.
So don’t believe it when someone paints narcissists’ picture as simply being vain, self-absorbed and mischievous, and that you only end up hurt because they’re not thinking about you and they’re a bit of a clod and and it’s really your fault anyway because you’re just overly sensitive.
That’s the lie they want you to believe.
In reality, ANY narcissist is going to do serious damage to you and your life if they get close enough to.
And they do it with full intention.
It’s called negative supply, and all narcissists are addicted to it like a drug.
The flattery and attention they pour on in the beginning is goal-oriented behavior to ply you and get you where they want you: beneath them.
Think of it as grooming, because that’s exactly what it is.
They get you relying on their validation in order to pull it away and see you disappointed, stunned and/or in pain. This makes them feel powerful and they justify their actions by telling themselves you deserve it. At their core narcissists are insecure, jealous and petty. They fantasize that they are righting a wrong and leveling the playing field, giving you your just desserts.
Narcissists’ lack of empathy is what enables them to hurt you with their devaluations and betrayals despite awareness of your suffering, and to advance themselves at any cost to anyone, but it’s far from the superpower some of them flaunt it as being.
Rather, it’s based on their disability.
Narcissists are developmentally retarded as far as their emotional intelligence goes, even though cognitively they’re like anybody else.
So they see empathy at work and resent it because they don’t have it. Recognizing it doesn’t mean they understand it, though; narcissists think empathy is an idea, that it’s performative, somewhat like using your best manners when at a formal dinner. But they see the powerful effect empathy has on others, and their envy over something they can’t access causes narcissists to feel malicious towards people who are genuinely loving and caring.
Their lacking, which they can’t abide, stares them dead in the face when it gets reflected back to them by your light.
Overt narcissists will try to extinguish your light due to their zero-sum belief that what one person has takes away from another. And so they imagine their grandiosity makes them better than you, by design.
Covert narcissists however, know they aren’t sh!t. And your good qualities conversely make them feel ashamed of themselves. So while they resort to a “nothing to see here, I’m just over here doing what I’m supposed to do” persona in public, in private is where they gradually get bold enough to emotionally abuse you.
They feel you out and test the waters by incrementally taking control of you.
They chip away at your autonomy by telling you not to wear certain things, not to talk to certain people, not to go to certain places especially without them. They isolate you from your support system by telling you your friends don’t have your best interests at heart or are using you. They might say this about your family too.
Covert narcissists gaslight you into not trusting your own judgement. That way, you’re completely dependent on them, which means you’re finally inferior to them.
And they don’t have to be so threatened by you and jealous anymore.
An incapacitating level of low self-esteem and a resulting secret self-loathing is at the center of all forms of NPD.
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The real difference here is really just in expression.
This is more about behavior than anything else. Both of these people have the same goals and mindsets and desires and drives. They just go about achieving them differently.
There is no real difference between someone who says “I will kill you if you leave me” and someone who says “I will kill myself if you leave me.” Both people are saying the same thing: I don't recognize rights, needs, feelings or anything else regarding other people and somebody's going to die if you don't do what I want.
As far as what behaviors they exhibit, it often comes down to basic personality and opportunity. Some people are more overt or covert just because it's what works best for them based on their personality. Some narcissists have found that appearing vulnerable and helpless comes more naturally and is therefore more successful, whereas others are naturally more grandiose and aggressive.
If you think of it kind of like extrovert vs introvert, where some people are more one than the other but most people are both to some degree, that's a good way to think of how it works.
And again, it can have to do with means and opportunity as well. For example, someone who is more overt at home may be more covert at work because they know that they won't get by with overtly aggressive and hostile behavior at their job. Etc.
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A covert I think is the worst. They are total con man or women; they can appear shy and very sweet. My husband was a covert, led a triple life and was a sweet teddy bear con artist.
I watched a You tube show on Ted Bundy and thought I was viewing my ex. Under that sweet teddy bear is a savage grisly bear who wants total power and control. A head screw that gaslights, steals, cheats and will destroy your life.
The covert is the most liked narc because they are so charming, buy everyone gifts and make you feel totally loved. The overt is a big mouth that has that "Look at me I'm special" attitude.
The overt is the one people avoid and for good reasons. They brag and interrupt everyone in a conversation with them and try to control the narrative. Like all narcs, they seek to control you and want you to admire and praise them non stop.
A covert and overt can at times over lap but they tend to stay in their own lane most of the time.
Both narcs are very evil, sick and twisted people.
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A covert narcissist is very good at appearing to be a loving person to you, and more importantly, to the world.
A covert narcissist will never be caught saying something bad about anyone. They love everyone. They want nothing but the best for everyone.
A covert narcissist is all about appearances. They won’t be verbally abusive to you . In fact, they will say that they love you.
They are just concerned about you. Maybe it was the election that affected you so badly. Maybe you are in a delicate mental state. They are concerned that your new sister-in-law wants to feel welcomed into the family, but she thinks you don’t like her. Why? No idea!
The covert narcissist wouldn’t cause her to think that! The covert narcissist certainly wouldn’t insinuate your delicate mental state or your sister-in-law’s lack of confidence. They only want the best for both of you!
An overt narcissist will tell you they wish you had never been born.
A covert narcissist will manipulate several people over several years to communicate the same idea without ever having to say it out loud.
I am obviously biased on the subject. I think covert narcissists are more evil.
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A superficial, shallow as*hole that can portray empathy if it benefits them. But they can also portray a grandiose sense of delusion that doesn’t exist.
Once you are aware of their antics, which many aren’t, it all becomes clear. Pay careful attention.
Everything they do and every thing they say is to illicit a response out of you. And the response has to benefit them. They are excellent at making it appear they care, but in reality it’s manipulation.
They love the way you make them feel about themselves. They love how you put them on a pedestal and forget about your needs and others.
They dont love you.
They aren’t sorry.
You aren’t their one.
Everything they tell you they tell the next clueless fk too.
They aren’t going to go to therapy.
They really do think you’re the problem. They eventually gaslight themselves into believing their lies and abuse was justified.
They are still talking to other people.
They are still leading several on for possible sex.
When they sense you pulling away, they are lining someone else up.
They don’t give a sh!t about you.
Their elation and deflation of their self image is what hooks you.
They are the most dangerous of all narcissists.
Keep trying to break free. You deserve so much better than this a*shole. With every slip up there is a lesson.
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Overt: done or shown openly; plainly or readily apparent, not secret or hidden.
Covert: not openly acknowledged or displayed.
With an overt narcissist what you see is pretty much what you get. Their abusiveness is much more obvious as they are openly what they are.
When you are the victim of a covert narcissist the only one who see's their abuse is you, their victim.
You are not only abused in secret but they treat you like you are a queen in front of people who are watching especially the people who are your friends and family. Then when you get home or their backs are turned they treat you with contempt. They pull out their crazy making tools and go to work on you. You find yourself trying to explain their abuse to these friends and family and they don't believe you.
Sometimes they will try to talk to the narc on your behalf and the narc will praise you proclaim their love for you and express how they feel so helpless with your irrational accusations against them but love you so much they are willing to stand by you.
Your friends and family can't help but admire the narc and think you are the one who is attacking the narcissist. You find yourself trapped, frustrated and doubting what you are experiencing.
A covert narcissist is truly capable of driving you insane if you are not careful and eventually you can just become like an empty robot or puppet they control until they get bored with you and then you are discarded.
That is when you struggle to get back who you were yet find yourself so lost that you may want to actually have the narc back in your life because it's the only life you know now...you are trauma bonded to them.
You start to wonder if you were actually abused or not. There is no one to validate you and the narc has you doubting reality and everyone you know is doubting you as well.
In addition to my answer I want to include what you can do to help yourself after being abused by a covert narcissist:
It is very important if you are with the narc that you document everything that happens.
Record conversations and all interactions you possibly can. Makes notes at every opportunity. Not just of the abuse but also the 'pretend/impression managing' good behavior and all the circumstances that surround it.
DO NOT SHARE this with the narc ...ever... nor anyone else... yet. Not until you regain your strength your conviction and can now see clearly.
If you are not with the narc and/or have not been documenting....go back and recall everything you can remember. Go back to the beginning and write down everything you can remember that happened. You may start remembering in bits and pieces but eventually you will start to remember whole events.
In time you will start remembering little details in those events...things will become clearer and you will see the truth of what was happening all along as they tried to brainwash you. You will suddenly realize things that slipped by you.
This is when you share with someone you can trust like an understanding therapist who knows about abuse trauma as they will point things out in your memories as to how the narc skewed your understanding.
As you go through this process you will grow strong and will regain your former self before the narc, only with more knowledge than you ever had before to become a healthier than even better version of you.
Also at this point with some of your friends and family you may be able to help them to see what you went through. It is a slow and a bit painful process that you must be patient with yourself throughout. You must nurture and love yourself throughout your healing.
Stay strong, you can do it.
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They think in the same way- there will be the same arrogance, oversensitivity to criticism, feeling of being special, and desire to use others for their own agenda.
The selfishness is the same, the self-centredness, the lack of self-awareness, the over-estimation of their own talents, their refusal to accept advice, the inability to love or care for anyone apart from themselves -- all the negative characteristics we know about narcissists are there.
But their methods of achieving control over others are very different.
The overt is life and soul of the party, memorable, very charming, very confident, very direct, very focused. They exercise their control by force of personality, intimidation, swagger, dominance, shouting, aggression, often threats of violence, by dominating their family and their circle. They are usually pretty easy to spot- they are the loudest in the group, hogging the conversation, leading the charge, and deciding (for everyone) what happens next.
The covert is sneaky, and will often claim to be an empath or even a scapegoat . They paint themselves as a victim; they have a harder time than others, they were picked on or bullied, they didn't have the same advantages as others, other people were given preferential treatment- and they use those excuses to explain away their failings or explain why others seem more successful.
They still try to dominate, but often by being snide or sarcastic, undermining others, turning any conversation back to them, and complaining. They can come across as sweet and nice on first meeting, but that humble act hides a lot of nastiness and bitterness-- which will be turned to full effect if you cross them. When confronted with an obvious lie or excuse they will react with venom, intended to wound as much as possible. Overts overreact too, but more often with fury rather than viciousness.
Both types will try to control you, and their circle, and their family- they just use different methods. Neither is good news- as you will find out should you try to have any kind of relationship with one.
You will expect caring and reciprocation and niceness and support- but you will realise eventually that this is all one way, always in favour of the narcissist. You will do lots and lots for them- you will get nothing back, not even a kind word.
Please, if you have a narcissist anywhere in your world (and I imagine you do if you are reading this) you should be learning about narcissism, to protect yourself against both types.
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THE DIFFERENCE
Between covert, overt and schmovert is that they will all fk up your life.
All of them exhibit the same fksh!t.
Such as lying, blaming you for it and lying again.
All of them are insufferable.
And all of them expect you to compassionately and enthousiastically suffer for them.
All jokes aside,
The biggest difference lies in their genitals.
The ones who get to use them on you,
Are the ones who will fk your life to shreds, with the fury of hellfire.
Those are called “fking narcissists.”
Fking narcissists rotate from covert to overt to schmovert.
Goodnight.
Goodbye.
Take your ass tf to sleep.
**********************************************************
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-explain-the-difference-between-covert-and-overt-narcissists-Do-both-types-exhibit-covert-behavior-or-just-overt-narcissists
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-explain-the-difference-between-overt-and-covert-narcissists-Are-there-any-other-types-of-narcissists-besides-these-two
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Narcissists are just like you and me, except there
is no "you," there is only "me."
What Are Narcissists, Really?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZtwX_DNGyk
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It’s easier to fool someone than convince them they’ve been fooled.
Narcissists Are A Fairy Tale
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CaCJy9DobY&t=121s
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They will steal from you and then state that it was not
stealing but that they are entitled to have what they stole from you.
Covert Narcissists ALWAYS Do
This One Predictable Thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuTH7eNEbtY
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" This means you are no longer a part of their mind games ! "
When You Take Your Attention Away From The Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8iRQjmuKGI
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How A Narcissist Reacts To Your Silence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_f3SfDtZFs
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I would love to know what would happen if a narc was put somewhere they could not leave with no people to interact with ever again. I feel like they might just lay down and die.
Narcissist: The Performance Of A Lifetime
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdhweTdkxXE
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Narcissists have to feel offended. It’s the only way they can function. Otherwise all of that anger and hatred would turn inwards.
Narcissists Are Eagerly Offended
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYcKSfnnju4
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How do I make a narcissist
tell the truth? :lol:
You can't force narcissists to tell the truth because narcissists are afraid of the truth.
Narcissists feel extreme shame when they reveal the truth. Narcissists don't want people to view them negatively. For narcissists, lying is their primary weapon to defend themselves and look good to everyone.
If narcissists have no choice left, then they will mix the truth with lies to deceive you. Narcissists will either blame you, people, or circumstances, but narcissists will never admit they have done anything wrong. Narcissists are egoistic; they will fight till the end, but they will not reveal the truth.
If you want to know the truth about narcissists, then pay attention to their accusations and projections. You will get to know the truth about narcissists in detail. Stand your ground; let narcissists vent out the truth in the form of narcissistic projection.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/How-to-make-a-narcissist-tell-the-truth
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A relationship that's built on lies cannot stand.
Narcissists Are Liars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZz3M4sgEWU
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Whatever they accuse YOU of doing, that's exactly what THEY are doing.
Narcissists Tell On Themselves if
You Listen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eV48WfDdpM
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Narcissists:
Beware The Extinction Burst
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQkhh7CeGz8
@DL-fw7xk
5 months ago
For anyone going through this type of situation, the videos on this channel are an absolute masterclass in the understanding of how people with NPD and cluster B personalities operate.
The breadth of knowledge and research, along with the ability to communicate effectively without a lot of noise across a multitude of areas, in an extremely misunderstood and complex subject matter is absolutely mind blowing. Thank you for putting out this content, and hopefully doctors and lawyers will have a better understanding of these types of disorders in the medical and legal fields in the years to come.
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The grey rock method does work. Never respond to a narcissists with emotions.
The Little Shaman Deep Dive: The Grey Rock Method
The Art of Not Reacting
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDmrBuozT9E
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:wtf:
-
They get mad and clam up or lash out when they get called out. They will never own up to anything.
Playing Dirty With a Narcissist;
Beware Try This Instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESvE-YNYxqM
@kimvannote5024
11 months ago (edited)
You can't win with a "Narcissist"? You know why? Because the devil is working through them - they live in Lies. The devil is the Father of Lies and he's very good at Deception. He's also the Author of Confusion, which is caused from lies. Mixing truth with lies - causing Insanity. They have no Moral Compass. They're disconnected from self because of Trauma.
"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."
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"Are you saying I need to get permission to feel? Are you suggesting I need permission to experience my reality? Are you saying your reality is more valid than my reality? Are you suggesting that the only reality that matters is yours? Are you suggesting your feelings are more valid than my feelings?"
Ask a Narcissist These
Questions When They Try to
Mess With Your Head
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMx2nkvdaXI
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:jandoor:
-
:sick:
-
What goes on inside
the mind of a narcissist?
1. I really like myself, and I'm pretty sure you do too. Actually, I think everyone does. I can't think of anyone who doesn't.
2. I don't have to say sorry. But you, you have to understand, agree, and put up with me no matter what I do or say.
3. There aren't many people as good as me in the world, and I haven't met one so far.
I'm the best at being a _______ (manager, businessman, lover, student, etc.).
4. Most people just don't match up. If I wasn't here to guide, others would struggle.
5. I get that there are rules and stuff, but those are mostly for you because I don't have the time or desire to follow them. Plus, rules are for regular folks, and I'm way above average.
6. I hope you see how great I am and everything I've done for you, because I'm amazing and never make mistakes.
7. It would be nice if we could be equals, but we're not and we won't ever be. I'll keep reminding you that I'm the smartest in the room, and how well I did in school, business, as a parent, etc. You should be thankful.
8. I might seem stuck-up, and that's fine by me; I just don't want to be like you.
9. You better stay loyal to me all the time, no matter what. But don't expect me to be loyal to you.
10. I'll criticize you, and you better take it. But if you criticize me, especially in public, I'll get really angry. And just so you know, I never forget or forgive, and I'll get back at you somehow — I hold grudges.
11. You should care about what I've achieved and what I say. But I'm not really interested in you or what you've done, so don't expect me to ask about your life. I just don't care.
12. I'm not manipulative; I just want things my way, even if it bothers others or hurts them. I don't care about others' feelings — feelings are for the weak.
13. You better be thankful for everything I do, even the little things. And you need to do what I tell you.
14. I only hang out with the best people, and honestly, most of your friends don't measure up.
15. If you'd just listen to me and do what I say, things would be better.
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Me, Me, Me, and Me. Total self consumption. And, how do I manipulate people to get what I want and need? You cannot trust anything a narcissists says or does because everything is done in the service of getting what they want and need, period. It would be foolishness to believe anything else.
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How to bring you down. Experience Joy when they see you cry. Boredom. Envy. Plotting how to fake it to impress others and leave an impression he/she wants to leave. Struggle to look like a normal, empathic human with positive emotions with minimum effort. They do drugs to cope with this, fake relationships, whatever it takes. They want to look respectable and like they have values when in reality, they don't.
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1. They think they're better than others. People with a negative narcissistic trait think or try to think that they are better than other people. In their minds, they have a lot of guilt, shame, and hate for themselves, so they have to put them on other people and make themselves look better than other people. Narcissists work hard to convince themselves and anyone else who might be paying attention that they are better than everyone else.
2. They don't think other people are important. Most of the time, a destructive narcissist treats you and other people badly, no matter what the reason, cause, or provocation. They think that because they were born this way, they have the right to treat other people badly. Unless someone can help them, they don't care about anyone. The narcissist will treat you with toxic contempt because they think they are better than you and that you are just a nobody whose only purpose is to meet their needs.
3. They are proud and too sure of themselves. They want to be right more than anything else, even if it means being arrogant and bragging about what they have done. They don't care what other people think, and most of the time, they don't even care about the person who has that opinion. In general, they are not friendly or grateful. When they get a whiff of constructive criticism, they get upset or angry. They also tend to think "my way or the highway."
4. They are very good at getting what they want. They use tricks to make people like them, control what they think and do, and steer the way things go. On the story they tell. As they move up the spectrum, they will become more manipulative. In this case, it will be more important and helpful to listen to what your body is telling you than to what your head is telling you.
Even if your head tells you lies all the time, your body will always tell the truth. So if your stomach hurts, your skin crawls, or you get a chill down your spine, pay attention to them. You need to pay attention to what your body is trying to tell you and take care of yourself by taking the right steps.
5. They don't care about people, like not at all. During a relationship with a narcissist, you have to realize that they won't care about you or your needs, even after the love-bombing phase is over. If you're with a narcissist, you'll have to put your own needs, wants, and desires on the back burner, if not completely ignore them.
Trying to get a narcissist to respect you or meet your needs in any way will be a pointless and frustrating waste of time. So, you have to learn to meet your own needs and not rely on the narcissist to do it for you. Stop going to the hardware store looking for milk, as an old saying goes.
It's time to stop hoping and praying that people who don't care about your well-being will change their minds. Instead, work on learning to accept yourself. Narcissists have nothing to give, so don't give them anything you're not ready to lose.
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Imagine having a sadistic teacher in your head that is hyper-critical and shames you and humiliates you whenever you don’t do something perfect. Or being unable to love or be loved and destroying every person that you want to love or be loved by.
Or being unable to be around the people that excite you the most.
Imagine needing a constant stream of narcissistic supply to avoid being incapacitated by your deep-seated feelings of being unlovable and worthless.
Imagine looking in the mirror and all you see is your flaws, even if you’re gorgeous. Imagine having so much pent up bitterness and anger that completely insignificant things can piss you off and make you lash out.
Imagine how sh!tty you would have to feel inside to be unable to control this response. For reference, think about a day when things were going so sh!tty that everything pissed you off.
Now imagine having to live that day every day.
Imagine destroying every interpersonal relationship you’ve ever had.
Imagine having such a sh!tty childhood that it turned you into this before you even got a chance to experience any real joy or happiness.
Now imagine the cacophony of awful feelings all of these things produce and how exhausting it must be to constantly have to do mental gymnastics and use every defense mechanism possible to block out these feelings.
Imagine having to repeatedly find new sources of supply to reinforce this delusional reality because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to function.
It is hell. I’m not a narcissist but I get why they are the way they are.
Edit: I'm not defending narcissists because it’s extremely damaging to have one in your life and they do awful things. Just trying to give some perspective.
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Narcissists often think they should be special and get lots of attention or compliments. They might have thoughts like:
Why are they paying attention to others? Do something to get them to notice you.
Can't they see how much better you are? You're more important than anyone else here.
Your opinion matters the most. They should only listen to you.
You know what's happening better than anyone else here.
They should focus on you. How dare they ignore you! They must be foolish.
You deserve the very best.
https://www.quora.com/What-goes-on-inside-the-mind-of-a-narcissist
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How do you make a
narcissist mad at you?
Narcissists get angry when you stand up for yourself. Narcissists take it as an insult; it hurts their egos. You have challenged narcissists. Deep inside, they fear losing control and authority over you. Narcissists will use all their tactics to get control over you.
Narcissists will try to gaslight you into believing that you are the problem; avoid falling for it. Narcissists are disturbed and unstable people who believe everyone should behave in ways that make them comfortable. Let narcissists be uncomfortable and alone in their paranoia, jealousy, envy, and need to control others who threaten them. You set your boundaries and continue to make them suffer and angry.
Leaving narcissists is very important too; being with narcissists and standing up for yourself will bring more problems to you from their side.
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In my experience, it's never wise to upset a narcissist, especially if you are in a relationship with one. However’ by showing indifference to their manipulative advances, openly pointing out the technique being used and smirking or laughing will cause such anger and frustration in your narcissist. This can cause a narcissistic injury so....
...there will be consequences!
These consequences won’t be easy to recognise but trust me every narcissist craves revenge. The feelings of ‘loss of control’ is unacceptable to a narcissist.
If a narcissist can’t manipulate you directly, they will smear your name and triangulation will be used against you. The gaslighting may increase, with such immature behaviour such as moving belongings, cancelling appointments, withholding mail. Anything to disrupt your life so they feel in control again.
My narcissistic ex wife realised I’d lost interest in her manipulative behaviour while on a short trip to a seaside town, she decided she wanted to stay an extra night, but I had a commitment so I refused.
She hid the car keys so we had to stay, then the entire evening continued negative influence to cause an emotional response. All this immature behaviour was because I showed indifference to her narcissistic manipulation, and dared to utter the word "NO".
Expect consequences!
I wish you luck!
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/How-to-make-a-narcissist-mad-at-you
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Do narcissists suffer?
Narcissists can experience suffering, but it is often different from how non-narcissistic individuals experience and express suffering. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
While narcissists may not show vulnerability or express their suffering in conventional ways, they can still experience inner turmoil, dissatisfaction, and distress. Their suffering may manifest as feelings of emptiness, inadequacy, or insecurity beneath their outward displays of confidence and superiority.
It's important to note that individuals with narcissistic traits or NPD may be less likely to seek help for their suffering due to their belief in their own superiority, lack of insight into their behavior, or reluctance to admit weakness. Therapy can be beneficial for individuals with NPD to explore their emotions, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and improve their relationships with others.
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Yes.
And they’ve been suffering likely long before you knew them. Coming from a cluster B family I’ve witnessed their suffering on many levels. Do not, I repeat DO NOT give them your empathy, sympathy or attempt to console them in any way.
Though they may suffer - they are very dangerous and have no qualms about using you for their pleasure, destroying you mentally to boost their self esteem, destroying your reputation to get ahead or taking anything of yours that they desire. They will suck out your soul and destroy your life like a demon in a horror movie if you let them. You may not even know it’s happening until it’s too late.
Here are some of the ways they suffer:
They cannot love or accept love
Instead They look for a fairy tale romance where they are loved, adored and treated as royalty without returning the affection, attention or hard work.
They cannot accept their real self as they deemed it unworthy and discarded it for a false persona when they were a child.
As a result, They feel like a fraud most of the time.
They are also emotionally arrested at a child-like state.
They cannot accept their own imperfections whether physical or in any task they take on.
This means they constantly feel like a failure.
They have limited, shallow emotions. They know they are not normal and work hard to emulate others to “fit in”.
They LOATH themselves behind the ego and bravado.
They live in a state of constant jealousy. They are unable to be happy with what they have, nor can they be genuinely happy for anyone else.
They must be better than everyone else - AT EVERYTHING , yet they are always reminded that others are better than them. This quest for perfection causes them to quit many things before completion. If they quit they can say they did not fail.
They go through depressive states where all the bad they’ve done that’s compartmentalized in their head leaks out. They hide from others during this time in shame, wallowing in self pity. This leads to projecting on those closest to them and eventually unleash horrific verbal, mental and physical abuse on them to relieve their shame and self loathing.
All of the lies, half truths, denials and embellishments come back to haunt them. They can’t keep it all straight or remember which version they told to who and it exposes their true nature.
Because they often believe their own lies for periods of time, they also truly believe they are a victim.
Yet, They know what they’ve done to others - so they expect it’s coming back to them. It makes them paranoid. They never feel safe for long.
They have trouble making friends. Superficially some may seem popular, but all their relationships are shallow. Despite their mask, many normal people can sense something off about them and steer clear quickly.
They are soooo lonely. They don’t appreciate the friendships, love and acceptance they are given. They crave unconditional love but cannot return it or recognize it when they have it. As a result they lose it all or throw it away. They all end up alone.
Their toxicity causes abandonment which causes them to seek to punish those that walked away - which causes more abandonment by those that witness what they do.
They are completely dependent on others to regulate their self esteem.
Nothing is ever enough.
They are filled with boredom and emptiness. They create drama to relieve their boredom.
Their anxiety goes through the roof when they don’t feel in control. This leads to embarrassing outbursts and unreasonable behavior.
They have limited self control over their behavior. As they get older it’s even harder to keep the false persona going and they can’t stop themselves from acting out in rage or revenge.
They have to have the final word / act of punishment. If they are cut off “no contact” before that happens or they perceive “you won” - they will suffer greatly and be consumed by anger and desire for revenge.
All of this can manifest in physical ailments like high blood pressure, auto-immune disorders and chronic pain. But the Narcissist has a tendency to make things up for attention. So when they really are sick - does anyone believe them?
Because the world doesn’t comply with their wishes 100% of the time… they think the world is against them.
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I was just reading about this, that some psychologist, I can’t remember which, but a “founding father,” opined that the suffering of the narcissist is among the most profound human suffering possible, because of the all encompassing shame involved.
Because of splitting and a lack of object constancy, narcissists have a black and white, inflexible, close-minded view of people, including themselves. A neurotypical can have a thought like,”I’m ordinarily a kind, considerate person, but sometimes I lose my temper and act inappropriately, especially if I’m stressed and tired or hungry.”
A narcissist doesn’t have thoughts which are nuanced like that.
One of the characteristics of being neurotypical is the ability to have an integrated sense of self, to simultaneously hold both positive and negative thoughts about oneself. When the narcissist (and others with cluster b personality disorders) does something which causes them shame, they cannot at that moment bring into memory the good things they have done. They go into an “all bad” frame of mind, where they are wretched and have no redeeming qualities.
Imagine how terrifying it would be if you did something shameful, and couldn’t think of even one good quality of yourself. This clarifies the need the narcissist has for defense mechanisms which spring immediately into place to protect against the horror of all encompassing shame.
This causes suffering.
Most people who know narcissists will despise them. They have defense mechanisms to deal with it, but that causes suffering too.
Narcissists are lonely people because they cannot emotionally connect with others. That causes suffering.
Narcissists have the desire to love and be loved that human beings have, but have neither the ability to love nor to experience love that an emotionally healthy and mature adult has; nothing even remotely approaching that. They have an understanding that others experience these things in ways they don’t. That causes suffering,
Narcissists are not happy people. In any list of what comprises happy people one sees things like
In meaningful loving relationships.
Grateful for what others do.
Help others.
Content with what they have.
Not things like:
Selfish and egotistical.
Does not care about others.
Feel they are being unfairly treated.
Despised by all who know them well.
This causes suffering as well.
While the life of the narcissist is a life of suffering, their suffering is to a great extent mitigated be their immaturity and cluelessness. Because of their emotional and psychological immaturity, the depth of their suffering cannot compare to that of the suffering they impose on their victims, who genuinely love and care for them, but can’t do anything which results in any sort of reciprocity on the part of the narcissist.
Any relationship with a narcissist is a story of unrequited love.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-suffer
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:plane:
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Why does a narcissist constantly bully you?
In my experience, when in a relationship with a narcissist, the bullying behaviour is purely a control tactic. To chip away at your self confidence and self esteem.
When a person’s sense of self is questioned we become easily manipulated and controlled. It’s an awful experience and if you’re able to spot the undermining behaviour early enough it’s a lot easier to make your escape.
The longer the abuse is endured the harder it becomes to leave as you’ll have no confidence left, and probably won’t have strength to commit to the decision. I believe that’s why so many people are still stuck in their relationships with narcissists. The Behaviour becomes (the norm) and the victim just can’t see a way out.
When dealing with a narcissist, friend, colleague etc.. you may have a quality that they do not possess. It could be physical, such as being more attractive, taller, slimmer, or maybe some part of your character, such as kindness, empathy, strength of character, you may just be a genuine happy person. Even your education and family background could cause a feeling of envy.
They may see something in you that they are not. The need to attack and bully is a way of crushing that spirit in you! Narcissist are essentially toddlers at heart! Just traumatised children who didn’t get the right treatment for the trauma at a young age. They never truly mature and the cycle of abuse continues.
They bully… because they were bullied.. The narcissist enjoys causing emotional pain and love the emotional response you give. If you’re able, I’d suggest starving the supply and give no response.
I wish you luck!
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Narcissists are always mad at you, because they are mad at themselves. Those with NPD narcissistic personality disorder could be some of the most manipulating, controlling, entitled, toxic people in the world, and will go out of their way to make you make you question yourself.
This may also explain why you’re trying to figure out why they’re mad at you. They live for validation and attention, and with you trying to figure out why they’re always mad at you - you’re giving them exactly what they want.
Those with narcissistic personality trait's ultimate goal is to gain control and authority, while intimidating their victims. The objective of narcissistic abuse is all about power, and control. Most bullies have a downward spiral through life, as their aggressive behaviors make it difficult for them to establish and maintain healthy relationships.
Narcissists are full of self-hatred, and they hate others even more, and one of the reasons why they take their anger out on those closet them. Anger is a favorite tactic of their bullying tactics, because they know it will quickly intimidate the target while simultaneously establishing dominance and control.
By your predatory abuser being mad at you helps them to regulate their emotions.
By your abuser being mad at you takes the focus off of yourself in exchange for you putting all of your energy towards them.
By the narcissist being mad at you picks away at your self-worth and self-esteem, in return this lowers your self-confidence which is one of their goals to keep you emotionally hostage/confused!
By the narcissist being mad at you steals away your peace of mind, and you expel your energy trying to figure what you did wrong.
By the narcissist being mad at you makes you curious and unsettled, so you inadvertently follow this unhinge person down the rabbit's hole.
Why the narcissist is mad at you has less to do with you, and more to do with their inner demons that they’re constantly fighting internally. Narcissists will use defense mechanisms to cope with their shame, insecurity, and low self-esteem. They rely on others for their narcissistic supply to give them a sense of importance and boost their low self-esteem.
They're always either angry, or on the verge of becoming angry, and sometimes they are angry for no legitimate reason. Many times, it is just a form of manipulation of playing mind games with you to keep you “hook, line, and sinker.” It may appear that they’re always mad at you as a way to keep you in compliance and focus only on them. May you know the signs, may you not be a victim, and may you do whatever you need to do to protect your emotional-mental health.
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In my experience narcs never admit to bullying, in fact you'll find they insist it's THEM that gets bullied. They are the poor poor victim. No matter what they've done, how atrociously they have behaved they always play the victim.
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My opinion?
Jealousy.
You are probably awesome, smart, peaceful.
Even with all the abuse—-YOU ARE STILL BETTER!
The narc doesn’t feel bad about the bullying or abuse because even with it you are STILL BETTER!
He or she can not tolerate anyone on a pedestal in his or her presence!
The narc thinks, “DANG! She can love and live in the truth. She doesn’t have to lie or pretend! UNFORGIVABLE!”
The narc wants to punish you for having peace, smarts, and success. On some level, you know the truth about the narc. (The narc could never bully you enough to satisfy his/her rage that YOU ARE AWESOME.) They think you deserve punishment.
They falsely believe that you are causing their pain.
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Because they have no other option left except bullying you. Why? Let's jump to narc world.
Due to low vibrational freequency energy and shortages of brain components of left anterior insula; they always feel sad,angry, fear, frustrated,shame. You can say their mind is like volcano/dark hollow. So they need someone make to feel the same as they feel inside and it is possible only by bullying you.
Yes... YOU!
It is not possible for them to bully everyone or make everyone suffer the same as they suffer inside. So they fix a target (you). But if they will get a chance to bully the whole world then they will not step back. It would feel like heaven for them to bully the whole world!!! You can history check from world war 2 in Nazi concentration camp. But now a days it's not possible to bully everyone so they manage with a single target.
They can survive without food but not without bullying.
So they practice dark energy/mind m@strubation to bully you long before your relationship begins.
The Secret Dark World.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-constantly-bully-you
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Why do narcissists devalue you and go silent?
Narcissists devalue their partners to make them feel worthless and unwanted. Narcissists want to show they are better than you in every field. The main motive of narcissists is to gain control, authority, and power over you.
Once partners of narcissists start doubting themselves, it becomes easier for narcissists to control them. Another reason for devaluing is to regulate their self-esteem. Getting narcissistic supplies from you in the form of reactions and responses makes narcissists feel powerful in relationships.
Narcissists will erode your self-esteem and destroy your confidence. Constantly devaluing narcissists will make you dependent on their validation.
Going silent is also part of devaluing, where narcissists act like you don't exist and your presence doesn't matter. Narcissists may cheat or have a good time with anyone by ignoring you completely.
Narcissists want to show you that you are responsible and accountable for whatever is wrong in a relationship.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-devalue-you-and-go-silent
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Victims don't "love" the narcissist. They "love what they choose to believe them to be, despite all other layers to their personality that tell them the truth about that toxic person.
What People Really Love About Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXoAtg_hbro
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The closer you get to God the more the Devil will throw at you.
5 Signs God is Protecting You from a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aS33RZvUOnY
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Narcissist, What To Do When They Try To
Take Your Power - Do This And They’ll
Leave You Alone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWXb14_TO14
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Narcs only regret that they cant get more.
This Is What You Did That
the NARCISSIST NEVER Expected, Leaving
Them in Regret
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Ni4MMZyHM
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HOW THE NARCISSIST SETS THE TRAP
How the narcissist sets the trap. The narcissist is always looking for new sources of supply. They lay traps all over the planet, looking for somebody to fall into these traps. The narcissist uses their smart phone as a weapon. The narcissist uses relationships as opportunities to get people to fall into the traps.
The narcissist cannot introspect they cannot improve, and they cannot be accountable. The narcissist is everywhere. Going no contact and blocking the narcissist is the path. Conserving your energy for yourself and getting your cup full is the path. Processing the relationship and leaving the past in the past and moving forward is the path. Sending positive energy and abundance. Namaste
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RudCaQkO7cg
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Things That Sigma Empaths
Immediately Do When
Attacked By Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XD6lBTEZh2Y
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If You Are a
Chosen One,
Keep This in ABSOLUTE Secrecy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVeXSdQEa6c
@randyvogt82
11 hours ago
I wonder how many people see these videos and “think” they are chosen?
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645 Replies
20315 Views
:superhero:
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Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn9EYOfEuKU
“The only thing we can control is our emotions and reactions”.
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What makes narcissists sad?
I was married to a Narcissist for 26 years, but he was NOT married to me.
I loved Bob and Bob loved Bob.
That is the essence of narcissists.
I was 18 when we met and 20 when we married, so it took years of watching other married couples to figure out what our relationship was lacking, and then figure out why.
Everything was a negotiation to his advantage, and every negotiation required me to fulfill my side of the “bargain” first, after which he may or may not do his part. When I say everything, I mean from big things like agreeing on which car to purchase to minor things such as handing me a cup sitting next to him. Most conversations consisted of “If you will do this, then I might do that…” He constantly calculated his best interest, his chance at a “victory” (everything was a contest) and his chances at manipulating me into doing something for him that I might not want to do.
The sad part was that many of his elaborate manipulations were unnecessary because I was happy to do things for him anyway. That was not reciprocated. Narcissists do not do for others, they do not think of others, they do not anticipate the needs or wants of others, and they do not care about the desires, needs or feelings of others unless those feelings inconvenience the narcissist in his pursuit of getting whatever it is he wants in the moment.
For years I had this mental image of a thick wall separating us, with rings of barbed wire out front to keep me from the wall, and if only I could get through the barbed wire without bleeding to death, and somehow get through that wall, then I would be in where the sunshine and flowers were and he would see that I’m a safe person and we would both be happy.
But I came to realize that the wall and barbs were to keep me from finding out the truth, which was that the other side of the wall was desolate and barren. He wasn’t keeping me out of a good place, he was keeping me from knowing what an empty shell of a human being he is and that his whole life consisted of drifting like a vacuum cleaner, sucking the joy and warmth out of others into the infinite chasm of his soul.
Eventually I let go and left, and have been married for 14 years to someone who, while not perfect, is not a Narcissist. Every day is a revelation — spouses are emotionally available! Spouses are your biggest fan! Spouses do things for you just because, and appreciate when you do things for them!
Spouses don’t kick you when you’re down! They don’t act as “Judge, Jury and Executioner” without ever telling you what you are being punished for! Not one single item I own has been broken or gone missing as punishment for some unknown infraction!
WHO KNEW?!?!?!?!?! :>)
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It's said that somewhere deep down, narcissists are sad people. But what exactly saddens them? Here are a few things that might do it:
1. Being ignored or neglected. This is perhaps the most obvious one. If a narcissist feels like they're not getting the attention they deserve, it will definitely sadden them.
2. Hearing bad news about themselves. This could be anything from someone telling them they did a terrible job to learning that someone doesn't like them as much as they thought. In general, narcissists don't take kindly to criticism so this is bound to bother them.
3. Seeing other people succeed while they fail.
4. Not getting the attention they feel they deserve.
5. People not reaffirming their sense of importance and specialness.
6. Having to confront their own insecurity and inadequacy.
7. People not doing what they're supposed to do (according to the narcissist's expectations).
8. Not being able to control or manipulate others.
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You know honestly, I think their sadness comes across as anger from a narcissistic injury. Depending on what kind of narc you’re dealing with of course. The coverts, hate….HATE when their mask slips and you see them for who they really are instead of who they pretend to be.
All one has to do to hurt a narc is go NO CONTACT, be happy without them. If the flying monkeys come around and are probing you for information, do not engage them.
“Sorry friend, I will not discuss this person, I hope they find their way. I am supremely happy without them.”
And the flying monkey, true to form, will fly that information over to the narc and it will crush him/her. NO contact, though it may not seem like enough is more hurtful to narcs because they crave attention, ego stroking, and when that stops they can’t breathe! IF and when you see them in public and they notice you, make sure you are smiling or laughing and do not even look their way.
This could even incite Narcissistic collapse. Narcissists by nature do not feel anything for you. So, how do you feel about the stapler on your desk? Well, you don’t until you need it to serve you. Hence the “feelings” of a narc, covert or otherwise. I hope this help a little. Be strong, know your worth, and choose happiness even if that means it’s just you and GOD!
Peace be with you!
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Every narc I have known, which includes both my parents a few ex’s and a few ‘friends,’ okay many friends, were some of the saddest people I have ever known.
Narcs turn every emotion into anger or charm. They channel all their emotions into manipulation tools. But they are human as well. And in my experience their depression, which is what I equate most sadness to, is a very deep deep thing that they fear, because to be sad is to be weak and to show sadness is to show weakness, but anger is viewed differently in society, particularly for males, so it is acceptable and as a bonus, it makes people scared which makes them easier to manipulate or keep away.
I also have learned in this half century of life that a lot comes out while people are asleep. My mates that were narcs ALL had night terrors. They all fought out, cried, and yelled in their sleep regularly. They also moan (like a wounded child or animal, not in a sexual way) and punch. I believe that because they ARE human that they DO have normal emotions but that these are at much lower volumes than normal beings and MUCH MUCH lower than Empaths, which is who they often search out if they can’t find someone who is much weaker than themselves or emotionally needy.
Anyway, this low level of basic emotion, particularly guilt and sometimes shame (but shame is often pretty easily turned into anger) is what I believe is being released in their sleep.
So why do they fight and yell and punch? Because nothing scares a narc more than uncontrolled FEELINGS and EMOTIONS.
These are their Kryptonite.
This is what they bury as deep as they can. Any abuses they took as children and anything that they have felt as adults that can be looked upon as weak or they consider ‘disrespect’ that wasn’t expressed in wake is buried here. Have you ever noticed that a narc will bring up disrespect and respect in every heated interaction, and many basic ones as well?
Not disrespect in the case of themselves towards others but how THEY are or were being disrespected? This is what they crave for their image. Respect. But, like love, they have no real concept of what it genuinely means or entails.
Respect is another one of those ‘issues’ all my narcs have had in common. The weaker narcs also crave affirmation. Affirmation is BIG to the weaker ones and the scarier ones usually don’t care what YOU think but they REALLY care about what everyone else thinks.
Another super awesome dynamic of this kind of relationship. You are nothing, but the stranger that they will never ever see again? Those are the people whose affirmation/respect that they crave and YOU are a piece of crap (as you are to blame for all things no matter how big or small or far fetched or improbable… but I digress) because that stranger in the narcs little warped mind, DOES matter.
Anyway, that’s my 2 cents. My experience and a bit of my theories.
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-narcissists-sad?no_redirect=1
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How can you detect a narcissist’s weakness?
Tell him “No”… about ANY request he makes of you, then watch the biggest tiddy-baby tantrum you've EVER witnessed happen.
Bring popcorn.
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They generally tell you them pretty quickly.
First of all, they will tell you their victim story. Keep this in mind later to mock and ridicule them with, or just guffaw at them from the get go. They are absolutely humiliated when you weaponise their weaponised victimhood against them. They were supposed to use it against you!
Narcissists hate being outdone, and most are very lazy, so just be more productive than them which burns them something severe.
Narcissists are jealous of your happiness. Be happy around them, not too much, just make it a little bit more than usual. Do it in a gently teasing way. They hate people knowing that they have a toy the narcissist wants but will never have.
They despise cheerful singing.
Narcissists hate feeling powerless. If they insult you, agree, amplify and laugh about it.
“Why yes I am evil. Evil AND a monster!”
Insert evil laugh here.
They will encroach on your boundaries, so you can often tell them no, which hurts their feelings . They are incredibly entitled - they will try to manipulate you to do, or not to do certain things by using guilt or shame. As they are simple, they generally aren't attempting reverse psychology, and if you do that thing they don't want you to do, or just the opposite of what they want you to do, they will get angry, another indicator of their weakness.
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
A narcissist is a boxer that leads with the nose.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-you-detect-a-narcissist%E2%80%99s-weakness
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Why do narcissists get mad
when you get emotional?
Because you are making it all about YOU. You are SO selfish.
No room for your feelings in a narcissistic relationship. My NPD ex ‘husband' used to mimic me if cried. Boohoo, boohoo. Not grizzling again are you!? Wow, he was VILE.
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Yes a narcissistic will get mad when you get emotional. The relationship is all about them being happy and if you get emotional you are ruining their day.
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The reason they get mad is because it takes the attention off of them. Narcissists need all people to rotate around their needs, wants, and desires. If you get sad or mad or anything and they have to pay attention to you for one minute, they see it as they have now wasted one minute of their lives on something that isn’t about them or important to them.
My best advice is if you realize somebody is a narcissist, get away from them as quickly as you can. You will never be able to have a quality relationship with a narcissist.
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To make you cry more, or. They just want you to shut up so you can get busy trying to make them happy again.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-get-mad-when-you-get-emotional?no_redirect=1
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What are some examples of
extreme mood changes in a narcissist?
The ability to be having a nice/normal time and the slightest thing can trigger a rage and complete change in mood and personality. There is a flash in their eyes and then that’s it 💥
Anything can trigger this in my experience depending on the day. A sigh, a look on my face, asking for something, expressing an opinion, making too many cups of tea at his house, honestly anything.
Before I knew about narcissism I used to tell him that it felt like his anger was always just bubbling below the surface. I tried to understand and help him work on that but obviously it was a waste of time. I also wondered about bi polar at times before I knew about narcissism, because of the extreme/rapid mood changes. In the end I think he just fed off the drama and the upset it caused for me, the more I took, the more he gave.
There was no need for any of it ever.
I think one of the hallmarks of narcissism is the disproportionate rage/reactions to things. I said I didn’t have many mushrooms on my pizza and he raged at me for 36 hours for example. A bystander could have been forgiven for thinking I had done something really awful.
I also noticed that if he was seeming particularly thin skinned/unstable, if I massaged his ego by saying nice things and flattering him I could improve his mood. You could literally see the process the more flattering I became, it was like a dark cloud lifting. I guess that was me being manipulative, but basically I was trying to do anything to avoid another onslaught, this was also before I had figured anything out but it was part of the puzzle.
I stopped doing it as things got worse and I became more just like a rabbit in the headlights being careful about everything I said and did, it was the only way to minimise the abusive behaviour. It all seems very clearly NPD now, but when you don’t know anything about narcissism it’s just incredibly confusing, destabilising and upsetting.
The thing that really amazes me is their ability to completely hide/control this side of them around other people. I am certain that his ‘friends’ would not believe any of this stuff. It really is Jekyll and Hyde and associates +++
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I think the mood swings are during the discard.
They are with you but thinking of their other supply. Everything you do bugs the shite out of them. looking back I know when he started seeing someone new. I would close the car door with my hand and he would freak out that I left finger prints on the door. He would chastise me for 30 minutes on how to close the door without touching it.
If he was ready to go he would sit in the car and pout until I was ready. If we were out and I had to go to the bathroom, he would throw a temper tantrum saying I needed to see a Dr. YET he would disappear to the bathroom for 30–40 minutes to take a sh!t wherever we went. I think it was so he had a way to blame me for HIS lying and cheating. It’s the devalue stage and a tell tale sign there’s someone else !!
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-examples-of-extreme-mood-changes-in-a-narcissist
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Why did the narcissist target me and ruin my life?
Here’s a good way to see it…. They picked you, because they saw something they wanted in you. So to win you over, they essentially mimicked and replicated your behavior and your values and responses. They studied you, and attempted to mirror a version of you.
This is the background foundation of trauma bonding. It is a fake sense of spiritual connection that was never actually there to begin with.
So….. to simplify all of this in the most positive way possible…..
EVERYTHING QUALITY IN THEM, THAT YOU WERE ORIGINALLY ATTRACTED TO….. was really just YOU looking in the mirror, and being drawn to another person who you saw similar values to the ones that you value yourself.
So even though it was all fake on their behalf….
What they also did was show you the unique things about you that make you special…. The glow they will never have … the talent they wish they had…. And the standards and morals that create real success in life that they will never be able to apply to their own lives!!!
So even though it hurts to think none of it was real…. Truth is you fell in love with yourself and all the strengths you truly have!!!!
SO GIVE YOURSELF THE CREDIT AND STOP BEATING YOURSELF YOU!!!
They chose you, because they wanted to be you.
Sadly they have the attention span of a small 2 year old child, or crow or raccoon scavenging for food!!!
So don’t feel too bad when they chose a new target and discarded you, if anything that was a blessing…. :)
EDIT**** some of you need to hear this right now !!!!!!!
The fact you are even on Quora….means that your healing has already begun, whether you realize or not.
The one thing that kept me from giving up, was when I discovered I wasn’t alone!!!
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Ok, I’ve been through it myself so I know how you’re feeling. That said, I’m also going to throw in an ounce of tough love.
First they didn’t “target” you per se. They cast a wide net and see who bites. The first couple of months are their (subconscious) tests to see if you have what they’re looking for.
What are they looking for?
someone who gives without expecting in return
Someone who will drop what they’re doing to soothe the narcissist
Someone who probably hasn’t been loved in a while, and melts at the alluring (and luring) words that come out of the narcissists mouth, with an unpredictable (in)frequency
Someone who has a need to heal a wound of feeling loveless in themselves by healing it in others (and likely working out a parental situation from childhood)
Someone who feels flawed, knows that others are flawed, and wants to love and accept the narcissists flaws the way they would want their flaws loved and accepted
Someone who has something of exception that the narcissist envies: kindness, intelligence, success, money, and usually some other concrete skill that the narcissist can exploit
Someone whose boundaries are weak translated in the form of over forgiveness
Someone who will write their own excuses and justifications for the narcissists behavior
Someone with a savior complex who will stop at nothing in their attempt to be the one who loved the narcissist back to life.
Right now this feels like this person ruined your life. I felt the same way.
BUT…one night I was on my terrace feeling sorry for myself and I said out loud (to myself) “You knew. You f+cking knew the whole time that this wasn’t right. And you let it go on anyway.” I know this will sound counterintuitive, but it was the most empowering thing I could do. I actually felt better after that.
Why? Because I did know. And I did let it happen.
I didn’t want to enforce the boundaries that I knew he was trampling over on a daily basis.
I didn’t want to face my own work project, that would require me to level up and that scared me sh*tless, so I worked on his projects.
I loved the things he said to me, even if I knew they weren’t true and were never acted upon.
It was like a warm bath that I knew I needed to get out of, but just waited until it was freezing cold.
Yes, I still think he’s a little sh*t, even if I’m able to feel compassion for what caused a clinical pathology that he will likely never heal from. But I’ll tell you this…I won’t ever abandon myself that way again. After him, at the first sign of stupid game playing - from anyone - I put down a very hard line. So he didn’t ruin my life, he crashed into my faulty foundations and gave me the opportunity to build them back up again.
If you’re willing, with time, distance & healing you will eventually come to see the role this person played in your bigger picture.
For now, take all of your anger, sadness, disbelief - let them all flow out freely without judgement. That means if you miss him, go ahead and miss him - just don’t get into contact. As you’re missing him just keep repeating - it wasn’t true. You have to retrain your brain to view the whole situation differently.
Find how you can take all of that emotional energy and transmute it into fuel to move you forward.
https://www.quora.com/Why-did-the-narcissist-target-me-and-ruin-my-life
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What's the one thing victims of
narcissistic abuse must understand?
The narcissist's behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own insecurities and need for control.
The abuse ends and the healing begins when you drop them like a bad habit.
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That they are not a bad person or going insane. You have every right to stand up for yourself and not back down!
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That narcs don't ever change. It's no good wishing and hoping that they'll stop the abuse. It will only stop when you go No Contact.
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Healing is a personal journey, and it takes time to get through the emotion of it all. I think that we all need to take this painful journey at our own pace. And I think that depending on the severity of the victim's symptoms the perpetrator should cover all and any expense in said journey!!
God only gives his strongest worriers this battle and will give nothing more than we can take.
I wish you all peace and big big hugs during this battle, God speed.
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IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! You beautiful soul …were open and giving in love, unbeknowns to you, to the enemy. They used and abused your precious love, time and energy and for that they will need to answer to God. Praying that everybody who has fallen prey to these evil demons will have the courage and strength to overcome and heal in time xxx God Bless you.
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The abuse was not your fault. People with NPD choose high value, good people with excellent qualities. We are giving, loving and agreeable. We just didn't know people like that exist.
There is evil in the world, and we experienced it. Look at it for what it was, and move on. Now we can be more aware with new knowledge in future relationships.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Whats-the-one-thing-victims-of-narcissistic-abuse-must-understand
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What is so dangerous
about a narcissist?
They are parasites, and will drain you of whatever they can, as much as possible. Their abuse can cause long term damage to your mental, emotional, financial, and even physical health.
You may be dealing with something much worse. I thought I was married to a narcissist until STBXGIC (soon to be ex going in circles) tried to kill me, and tried to have me killed.
Leave ASAP. It only gets worse, and can be more dangerous than you know.
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That you’re in close proximity with them. They’re are a predator, they’re an abuser, they use you for whatever means that they want. They don’t care about you. You are just an object to be used and discarded later like a cigarette butt.
They could kill you, they could drive you to suicide (like mine tried to do), they will play mind tricks on you which make it so you can’t move forward in life. They will make your physical and mental health diminish down to nothing.
These people are hideous. They’re not even a person nor human. They’re a hostile alien.
Get out while you still have some sanity…
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The most dangerous part about dealing with a narcissist is that you are dealing with the person who is before you—he is not real, and will do anything at first to reel you in. He is charismatic but fake, which makes him very dangerous.
People are just not their thing but getting someone to do what they want is their thing, and they will do whatever it takes to win the prize, including faking emotions—they have none.
Narcissists are determined and clever. They will literally do anything to stay on top—to be number one, including being your friend. And when you are no longer of use, you are discarded—on his part, there never was any allegiance or loyalty. You were once of use, but you have lost your purpose, so goodbye to you and hello to DISCARD.
In other words, a narcissist is all about himself and attending to his needs—there is no room for feelings, intelligence, logic, rational thought or reason.
Trying to deal with an empty heart and coming up empty handed is what makes a narcissist dangerous—they are void of any feelings, unless it will benefit them.
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They are very dangerous but they can have not just narc traits; it can be combined.
They accuse you of everything. They themselves are doing "Projection". They belittle people and lecture people like they are the adult and you are the child. They triangulate you against everyone and they also smear your name to everyone.
They are very verbally abusive. Some are control freaks. They use the silent treatment very often. And passive aggressive behavior. They are entitled; they do whatever they want and around whoever they want. They gaslight you and they do it so often it makes people think they are going crazy.
They also do that reactive abuse where they abuse you and once you react to their abuse tell you "You need meds and you're crazy". They use word salad and manipulate people. They also do that sleep abuse at home or phone or text. They go into ballistic rages. They bully and threatened people. They do that hot and cold and that Jekyll and Hyde thing.
It gets worse and worse the longer you stay with them. If they hoover you back with promises of change, they get you back to abuse you more. They smear your name from the beginning or at the end when you finally had enough.
Some are obsessed stalkers who think everyone is their own personal property. Trying to reason with them is like you're dealing with an adult child trying to teach common decency and you'll be better off banging your head against brick wall.
You could end up with PTSD or CPTSD. Double standard BS. It's like signing a contract with the devil. They can break the rules and boundaries but you better not try anything.
It's like being on a merry go round with the devil. They never apologize for anything they do but try to make you apologize for everything you're not doing or saying. They are pathological liars and cheaters and will accuse you of everything they are doing.
Even if someone was to hurt themselves because of what they were doing, they would tell everyone "Look, I told you they are crazy". Some are on the side of the Dark Triad and you see the pain they've caused.
Did you ever see their eyes when they abuse you and you react, how evil their eyes get? They might even laugh.
I would go no contact with them and all their enablers and flying monkey turds so you can heal and become healthy.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-is-so-dangerous-about-a-narcissist
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How is being "discarded"
by a narcissist any different
than a regular break up?
Oh there are quite a few differences actually.
With a normal breakup there will be closure with that one last adult conversation where both parties will ask questions and receive answers.
In a narcissistic discard there will be no closure and you can forget any of your questions being answered.
With a normal breakup both parties will most likely stay single until healed.
With a narcissistic discard the narcissist has already gotten another supply lined up way before they discarded you.
With a normal breakup each party will try make it easier for the other party, as painless as possible.
With a narcissistic discard the narcissist will make it as painful as possible.
If you share a house together the normal person will wait and let the other party find alternative accommodations.
With a narcissist they won't wait for nothing, they don't care if you go sleep in the streets as long as you leave the second they say "Go".
If there are kids involved with a normal breakup, the parties will find a way to co-parent.
With a narcissistic discard there will be parental alienation.
With a normal breakup there will be no guilt tripping or blame put solely on one person.
With a narcissistic discard the narc will make their partner feel confused, put all the blame on their partner and make them feel extremely guilty.
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Because you won't see it coming Narcissists will pretend everything is fine.
The difference is:
They'll break up with you in a very cruel way.
They won't care/consider your feeling at all.
They'll completely ghost you… POOF! they're gone, leaving you baffled & wondering what happen.
They won't give you any explanation because they've been grooming the new supply the whole time leading up to the discard.
Narcissist wants you to chase them and pour your heart out while they ignore all your text messages & phone calls, having no intention of giving you closure.
Normal people talk to you at some point about why they want to break up / leave you.
Narcissist will throw you away like yesterday's trash with no remorse as if you never meant anything to them.
Because you didn't get with the narc's program as docile Supply... THAT'S the difference.
Sorry folks, that's how they are.
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From my personal experience:
You will feel guilty, alot; it might even lead to depression. You will think that you’re a horrible person for messing it up with such a wonderful person. You won’t be able to get closure because they’ll disappear *snap* just like that.
They won’t show the slightest care for you, thus enhancing the feeling of guilt and that will make you genuinely believe that you’re the most awful person on earth. All the people both of you knew will turn against you. You’ll have trust issues and self-esteem problems.
Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s torture.
Nothing like a normal adult break-up.
But the most painful thing you’ll experience is when you realize you’re the wonderful person and that you didn't deserve any of that vicious disrespect and savage abuse.
Ahh it’s fking painful, oh well. And your pain becomes the narc's delight. Sick b@sturds!
Good luck to you !
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Narcissists must have supply available. You have failed to hold up their grandiose vision of themselves by not being fully available at all times to admire and worship them like a god.
Keep in mind that when you do things for yourself the Narcissist will consider this a slight and it will cause an injury to them.
Furthermore you are expecting a normal amount of reciprocity which is also causing the Narcissist an injury. They are entitled to your full attention and they owe you nothing.
Lastly, the relationship has become boring to them. It turns out you are a human being with flaws. You no longer match with the fantasy in their head, therefore you are not good enough. This causes them an injury because they are too special to be with someone so ordinary.
Now the Narcissist must find new supply.
But you can bet they will not give up their current supply until they find a suitable replacement.
However, since you have injured them so gravely they must also punish you. Negative attention is still attention, and it doesn’t really matter to them if you are in love or in pain. If this particular Narcissist is sadistic they will, of course, prefer the pain.
The Narcissist will start hunting. You will notice signs of cheating such as them suddenly caring more about their appearance. Guarding their phone and internet much more closely, and changes to their routine. They will lie about this so blatantly that it will trigger cognitive dissonance for you. If you feel a great deal of confusion, its a good bet the Narcissist is lying and gaslighting you.
You will find the the Narcissist is now accusing you of cheating. With my last Narc he would accuse me of cheating, then he would accuse me of accusing him of cheating, and then he would deny the cheating.
He started talking about himself in terms of how desirable he was. For example, he would say that he knew what women wanted and that he had the things that women would want. Except some of the things he would say about himself were aspects of his history and personality I never knew about. Of course, they were also lies. He was simply practicing the story he would tell about himself to someone new...the New Supply.
He would morph his personality. Sometimes I would drop by his house and although he still looked the same physically, it was like I was with a completely different person. This was because he was busy learning to mirror someone else who he was engaged in love bombing with.
He would go on work related trips and on these trips there would always be some tragic circumstance which caused him to spend money. For example, he ended up having to stay overnight in Las Vegas by no fault of his own. He managed to lock his keys inside his car and it cost him $500 to get into his car.
But the story he told about the tragic incidents of that night were bizarre. The story kept changing for several days until he had figured out the final version he wanted people to believe. Of course, all of this was meant to garner my sympathy so that I would be so busy feeling sorry for him and marveling over the bizarre “facts” that I could never get to the simple truth.
He was there with another woman. If I were to question this story, he could immediately criticize me for being a terribly uncaring person who was questioning the motives of a good man who had just gone through a terribly hard time.
He started getting extremely sensitive and defensive anytime I talked about sex. He would engage me in gaslighting and word salad if I brought up the subject. In fact a single mention could ignite a rage filled verbal attack that could last for hours.
He would also gaslight me. For example he would insist that I had accused him of having an affair ( I hadn’t ) then he would attack me for accusing him of this. Then the following day he did the same maneuver except that “affair” turned into “affairs”.
Unfortunately for me the Narcissist managed to hoover me several times. But eventually I stopped reacting and disconnected emotionally. Frankly his mental illness was so deep I found it interesting to observe and would sometimes trigger him on purpose to set off his reactions.
One time he melted down severely for a couple of hours straight. He literally went from one maneuver to another. It was like watching an actor practice his roles. I simply sat quietly and observed this. He essentially schooled me in several of his manipulation tactics. I used this knowledge to reexamine and explain aspects of our history from a new perspective.
Once I was able to see what he was doing it became clear exactly what he was up to. Each time he met with another women, he would accuse me of cheating. Each time he had sex with another women he would become reactive to talking about sex. Each time he went off on a trip with another woman he would come home with a tragic story of how he was wronged.
The reality is, the Narcissist can not just cheat. They need to cheat and triangulate you with the cheating in order to punish you for all the harm you have caused them. So they will tell on themselves.
By this time I was primarily in the picture because of his daughters who had asked me for help. I gathered evidence against him and reported him to the authorities.
A couple of days later my car suffered from a catastrophic failure of the entire cooling system. This was the third time he had sabotaged my car. But, I dealt the Narcissist a heavy blow and stopped his hoovering. He of course attempted to smear me all over town. But I was expecting it, and prepared ahead by connecting with many people in a way that would contrast deeply with the image of me he tried to portray to them.
The Narcissist is actually very weak. But because they are so desperately weak they can act out in very harmful and even dangerous ways. That’s why a proper defense requires that you understand what makes them tick.
There is some controversy about if the Narcissist knows what they are doing, or if they are simply so deeply engaged in their mental illness that they can not be held accountable.
I am here to tell you that the Narcissist knows exactly what they are doing. They are doing it consciously. Because the original injury happened when they were very young, they have been practicing their manipulation strategies for a long time. So they aren’t necessarily thinking about it ahead of time.
Sometimes they are just running a game on you that they have run hundreds of times on other people because they know it is effective. Make no mistake. Their intention is to control and have power over you and they will use whatever means is at their disposal to do so.
The Narcissist does not consider this wrong. They will justify in their own mind that what they are doing is perfectly ok. They escape guilt and shame even within their own mind, by engaging in an enduring delusion that is so deep that if they were to see through it, they would literally die. This delusion is the false self. And because there is no other self, the death of the false self is the same as death.
During the time I knew this particular Narcissist there were three or four moments of clear, unadulterated truth. In these moments I saw that the Narcissist was fully conscious and aware of what he was doing, and that he was fully committed to it without reservation.
How do you know you are about to be discarded? Open your eyes to the sickening truth about the Narcissist and it will soon be obvious to you.
When you are walking on eggshells, deeply confused, cannot think straight, dive into depression and possibly suicidal thoughts, are being blatantly abused, but still being held onto the Narcissist is preparing to discard you.
When you suddenly find that everything about you is wrong, every secret is being told around town and every bit of information you ever shared is being used to sabotage you the Narcissist is preparing to discard you.
When you can see that the Narcissist blatantly hates you, but will not let go of you, he is planning to discard you, and the moment he finds suitable supply you will be cut off like you never existed.
When he tells you stories that are too fantastic to be believed and doesn’t even bother to cover his lies, he is coming close to a replacement. Because when that lie becomes so blatant that you finally call him out on it, he will use your normal reaction to prove to the world what a crazy, unstable b!tch you are.
Be advised: The Narcissist will not just let you go. He will attempt to destroy you as well. Part of his discard will include smearing you. He wants to make sure that in the end it will all be your fault. You will have no one to turn to, and that other people do not see his game, and will not believe you if you try to tell them. In fact, it is very likely that his new supply will become his strongest supporter and helper in this goal.
He has been doing this all his life, and he is exceedingly good at it. Don’t take it personally. The person before you went through this. The person he was sleeping with while he abused you will also go through this.
It is very likely that this pattern will continue in the Narcissists life until the day he dies. When you are discarded, you have been handed your freedom. Guard it jealously. It is hard to admit that you have been played. But if you can admit it, you will prevent another Narcissist from doing the same thing to you in the future.
https://www.quora.com/How-is-being-discarded-by-a-narcissist-any-different-then-a-regular-break-up
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What is the best punishment
/consequence for a narcissist?
TIME
The sordid, chaotic, selfish life of the narcissist has only one punishment that is fitting....TIME!
TIME strips the narc of their beloved physical attributes. That once glowing smile is now just an overstretched over-tanned juvederm skin balloon, along with some graying cracked veneers.
Their once magnetic charm and charisma has seemingly vanished. Now, the narc becomes an empty air bag of nervous energy.. a desperate attention seeker… kinda boring actually. Their sex appeal is gone too. Its been replaced with a fake pair of over-groped dented tits, and some Colombian stretch underwear to forklift their saggy asses.
Their once captivated stadium full of supply has dwindled down to only a few leftover bleacher seat rejects willing to still entertain them. TIME now forces the narc to see their ugliness squarely in the mirror.
As TIME passes friends and family have become tired of the narcs antics. Now, they hide from, refuse to answer their calls, and secretly poke fun at the narc. TIME has exposed the narc. That smug fitting mask that once protected their despicable selves is now punctate and worn and now slips regularly with ease.
TIME has struck the gavel against the narc. TIME has decided their fate…TIME now banishes them straight to Bogeyland forever...rot there.
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The best punishment and consequences narcissists face when they start to age.
Aging narcissists face karma. They pay for what they have done. Once a narcissist starts aging, they don't get things easily. It's hard for them to maintain the mask; they don't have the energy or patience to maintain the mask to attract supplies. People start figuring out who they are because of their past history and their inability to maintain a mask in front of people.
Aging narcissists behave in a very wicked way; they are unable to control their emotions and frustration. Health problems make them feel insecure, anxious, and tensed. If they have money, they can keep a person for benefits, but it's still hard for them to control the person. The person they keep takes advantage of their old age. They isolate themselves; it's like they have lost the battle. What they have hidden inside for all those years can be seen very easily by looking at them. Aging narcissists live a horrible and miserable life. What they have done in life, they are getting in return with interest.
Narcissists suffer in the end. Hoo RAY!
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Being left to live the life they imagine they deserve, without you as their trusty home base, their back up.
Leaving them in their vacuous, vapid world where they can flirt, fantasize and fk, with reckless abandon…but without you to come home to and take for granted.
Giving them the freedom to pursue their “friendships” (their acquaintances) until they wear people out and expose themselves as the socially awkward fks they are.
By moving on, by building a life of value, pursuing your goals, dreaming new dreams and making them real. Leaving the N free to pursue all the options he’s deluded himself into thinking he has. Letting it run dry and not being there for him.
By loving and being loved; by having a stable, reliable, worthwhile relationship with someone. By finding a life partner. Leaving him to burn through all those gals he has his eyes on. All those gals he lights up when he sees. All those gals he’s compared you to. All those gals that won’t be thinking about him anymore than you will. As he grows old, and all his scavenging and manipulating and conning and grifting puts him right back at the start of the game…while everyone else has been moving forward.
By quietly laughing to yourself about all his delusions for the future, knowing they add up to all the failures of his life that got him this far. Or didn’t. And knowing he’s too dumb to see it.
By letting go. And letting him be someone else’s problem.
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For all of us, looks fade with age.
It's not pleasant to deal with for anyone, but generally we accept it, make the most of what we still have. We're grateful for good times, for love given, received and made.
We look at younger people and see them without jealousy or bitterness.
Many flowers still bloom. We can look at the sky and feel grateful that we are alive.
Now consider the narcissist…
They don't actually need to be punished. That's not in any way a defence of their behaviour or the evil that they do, be that from hurting people right up to being a danger.
This is their entire parasitic life.
Dwelling on what is a punishment for them means you're just swimming in their shitstream.
You are better than that. Breathe in and out and thank your lucky stars you've not had the life of pain they have, and can't handle.
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I don’t like to think about this, truthfully, because there are people that I still love who are malignant narcissists, whom I have had to remove from my life for my own sanity and well-being.
Some have already left this earth, and I don’t like to think of the repercussions they might be suffering right now from all their earthly actions. I hold onto the old adage that it is not our place to judge, and so whatever was going on with them, in their mad minds, that caused them to behave the way they did on this Earth, let a Higher Being judge them for those deeds.
As for their punishments here on Earth, I can tell you that as they age, their supply dwindles, and reality begins to seep into their false image. It becomes harder and harder to deny the wrinkles in the mirror. They become more moody and disagreeable than ever. There are less and less takers and the well soon dries up. They usually replace some of their fuel with belittling anyone and everyone they meet, but even that isn’t enough to sustain them.
If they are lucky enough to have money, they might be able to employ some staff to pour misery onto. Most of them turn to drugs or alcohol to escape their reality. Of course these only add to their depression.
Those that don’t turn to drugs, seem to actually become delusional. For instance, a 70 year old narcissist might think everyone who is kind to them is coming on to them. Or they regress back to childhood, and decide to go back to college, hang out with all the college kids and act as if they are of college school-age.
Or a person who has long-since lost their looks to “age”, might decide that they still have a chance at modeling or to become a famous actor, and begin putting together a portfolio and searching for a talent scout or manager to promote them. They end up spiraling in their madness, sometimes becoming so out of touch with reality that they let all of their responsibilities go by the wayside as they obsess with their new fake persona (buying cars they can’t afford, getting cosmetic surgeries, instead of paying their mortgage).
They become so entrenched in their fantasy that they begin to tell people they are famous, and even begin to believe their own lies. Eventually reality catches up to them. Hollywood rejects them. Tyra Banks laughs in their old wrinkled face. The mortgage company forecloses on their house. BMW repossesses their car.
They find themselves shunned by the other college kids, who just find them creepy and weird. And so they begin to spiral into a depression, so deep and so dark… as their madness overtakes them.
Those lucky narcissists that have have wealth or people addicted enough to remain in their life, will spend every last minute they reside on this planet, making life miserable for those who are around them.
But the remainder do end up all alone, suffering through their last days in a puddle of self-pity, total and complete despair. They usually die alone, encompassed by their own stench, and are not found until someone reports the smell of their rot.
Sounds pretty, huh?
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-punishment-consequence-for-a-narcissist
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:ni:
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Why do narcissists act like nothing ever happened?
They act like they never did anything wrong.
Narcissists cannot empathize. Other people only exist to meet their needs.
They live in an inflated bubble of their own fantasy world to protect their fragile ego. They distort, rationalize, twist facts, and delude themselves to avoid anything that may cause unwanted feelings like shame.
When you have an altercation, or when they do something awful they project - a narcissist doesn’t have to experience anything negative in him or herself, but sees it as external. Those traits are projected onto someone else or a group of people instead. You become the one who is selfish, weak, unlovable, or worthless.
They believe they DID do nothing wrong, it was you that was the problem, and once their needs are met, they totally disregard and forget it even happened because they have no emotional attachment to it.
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The narcissist acts like nothing ever happened because to him nothing ever happened.
What piqued my curiosity was this very thing. In the beginning of our so-called relationship I never experienced this type of non-reactive person. He was even keeled I thought. Compared to the household I came from. Everybody in my family would talk,react argue,apologize and move on or not and we laughed alot.
I thought I came from a rather strange family. Little did I know that my family was my rock.
As time went on I realized this narcissist had no heart. When he began to treat me like I was not his equal. He made decisions, was secretive about finances, and then the other women. With all this, he was calm and cool like nothing ever happened.
So it ended up with the narcissist controlling everything and it was a confused mess. The narcissist just didn't want to even communicate. It was like I was living with a dead person.
Live and learn.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-act-like-nothing-ever-happened-They-act-like-they-never-did-anything-wrong-They-just-move-on-to-the
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Why would a narc treat you
like garbage, abuse you through
texts and suddenly be reasonable and nice?
NARCISSISTS HATE YOU.
That's why the narcissist treats you like garbage.
And sends you nasty texts.
They just don't like you, ok.
And all the nasty things they say is how they feel about you.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you can't possibly think that a narcissist actually cares about you.
They can't, they're disordered.
In order not to hate themselves, they gotta hate you.
Now, why would they be nice after that?
Because they're not ready to leave you yet.
And as long as they're not you'll be going through a cycle of abuse and intermittent reinforcement with them.
As time passes, the abusive periods will become longer, while the nice periods will become shorter.
In due time, the niceness will be completely eradicated.
Until you'll be left with the abuse only.
The real person, the one that hates you.
Then, after some time, they'll leave you without a warning.
They'll just block you and dissapear.
Some time later they'll probably try and get with you again.
And you'll get to see the fake nice version again.
And if you entertain it, you can repeat all of the above.
Infinitely.
All of this, is because they're a narcissist.
And that's why.
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Because they are crazy.
They are impulsive and don’t live in reality. They aren’t accountable for any treatment they give out.. they’ll say they didn’t do it, they were joking, it didn’t happen. It’s all a game. All they want is a reaction to feed off of.
They don’t care if it’s a good reaction or bad reaction, your reaction is their food. Starve them. That’s the only way to get rid of them. Don’t try to make any sense of it, it never will make sense.
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For confusion… they're trying to determine what they can get away with — what you’ll tolerate.
Why? Because they have identified you as someone who they wish to use… they need to have you confused…it sets you off balance, leaving you reeling from the mind f*kery and hopefully you won't notice when they are stealing something from you, most notably your energy and goodness, your money or maybe your friends etc.
If you know someone to be a true narcissist, it's best not to engage. Ignore their antics. Treat them with respect but don't let their hooks set in. What they want most is your reaction, once they get it they will pursue you for greater thefts. When you finally figure them out and cut off the Supply, that's when they toss you out to the curb.
_____________________________________
This is just the way they are.
Literally, they can go from raging at you for hours, pissed off beyond belief, for something they did, but are blaming you for it.
Then 10 minutes later, comes out and says “hi honey, what should we east for supper?” Like nothing happened because in their mind, nothing really did happen. It was just you raising a fuss over their abuse, which isn’t a concern at all to them, so it is easy for them to rage and then settle down, within minutes.
Not degrading. Just saying….. think of a toddler, throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get the attention they want 24/7 or the didn’t get the toy they wanted. Or they are tired or hungry. As soon as they find something to distract them, they come out refreshed and a whole new person, with a whole completely different mood…. This is where shite is so confusing.
With mine, he would sit there and rage at me for an hour or two, throw his fits, over sh!t he causes and he was mad and rearranging my reasoning to his distorted reality. I stopped defending myself, when he attempted to reverse the convo and issue back to me. He hated that, I knew that he did that.
Maybe too much information, but he would ask me to have sex with him after he threw his tantrum and went apesh!t. It’s like he loved fighting and then sex right after. In the beginning it was “make-up sex.” But it soon became excessive with him. But I was so traumatized and bonded, although I knew what was happening and that I shouldn’t allow it, I still stayed long after.
They literally are up, down and all around in less than a minute. They go from laughing with you, sharing videos, to 2 minutes later you’re still laughing, enjoying the rare moment together; you try to show them a video you found funny, but you’re completely ignored. They stop laughing. Head into their phone. And you can see the small smirk on their face, knowing they know you know they are purposefully ignoring you.
I literally could not keep up with the constant mood shifts, for no reason.
A lot of times they will plan a situation, then stage it and act it out. It usually involves something that irritates you, like you just finally sat down and the narcissist says, can you grab my charger, I think it fell behind my chair. My response, I exhibited frustration. Due to endless hours of cleaning, that of course had no help with.
Of course this was the reaction the narcissist was intending to provoke out of you, so you act annoyed; irritated and probably moody, but there is one main rule of the narcissist. Do as I say; not as I do.
Basically, saying they can do and say whatever to you; but you are not allowed to hold them accountable and you also aren’t allowed to say and do whatever you want.
You play by their rules; you’re just an object to them, like a possession. You’re aren’t a person to them.
You play their game, you start to adapt and figure out their game; you master the way to stop the game, you’ll know when it is time. You’ll be to the point, where you want to check yourself into another universe, to escape them.
But although we may completely despise this person, you’re disgusted with them, you know they are impacting your mental and psychological wellbeing, but you can’t seem to let them go. This is a strong trauma bond.
We know we need to get out, but it’s “safe” here for now. When you have had enough, you’ll know. And it will take you, the strong person you know you are, to pull yourself away, cut all contact, and fking breath again. LIVE. Once that fog is gone, it’s like sh!t have I been dead this whole time with them?
It literally feels like you’re being reborn. They suck your soul and every last bit of energy left in you if you let them.
https://www.quora.com/Why-would-a-narc-to-treat-you-like-garbage-abuse-you-through-texts-and-suddenly-be-reasonable-and-nice
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Can you be a self aware narcissist?
They do exist and and those motherfkers are dangerous.
I think narcissism is on a spectrum when it comes to self-awareness.
You've got that moron who basically is just inconsiderate and selfish and careless with peoples feelings on the low end of the spectrum, and on the high end you've got somebody who's a piece of sh!t and knows exactly what they're doing and gets off on it.
The self-aware ones are the ones with the high levels of cognitive empathy. They're the ones who can tell exactly how you're feeling, and then with no remorse they'll exploit that for whatever suits their interest.
Those are the ones that will take your secrets that you told them in your vulnerable moments and use them against you for personal gain or for their own sick enjoyment.
These are the ones that will divorce you on the day of your mother's funeral and steal all your money on their way out.
These are the ones who play victim and publicly shame you for being an abusive psycho, even though, I got to say, these are some of clingiest a*sholes I've ever come across, with their abandonment issues and their accusations and psychotic jealousy.
And, yeah we've all got issues, but normal people don't use that as a piss poor excuse to abuse others, and then gaslight you into believing you're the problem.
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Related
Can a self-aware narcissist be helped?
No
They know exactly what they have been doing the entire time.
These are some of the things self aware narcissists use for their self help:
When you are in pain they leave you behind and help themselves cope with them losing your attention by sleeping with someone else.
They help themselves ahead of you at the all you can eat buffet. Then when it comes time to pay they forgot their wallet.
When rent comes due they somehow don't have the money. Instead they helped themselves by buying a new car. Now, not only is rent due but you have to pay their car payment. They want you to thank them for their shiny new car.
The next day they total their (your) car because the night before they self helped themselves to 5 six packs of beer on your credit card.
Self aware narcissists are aware that they can get what they want by manipulating you.
They have been self helping themselves to you since day one.
Time to shut down the all they can eat buffet....
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-be-a-self-aware-narcissist
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They are masters at using the guilt with us. It took me a while to find this out. Yes they are ruled by their feelings.
The Narcissistic Guilt Trap
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSlujastcww
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They are users period. Run like hell. You can't believe how ill these people are.
The Fantasy of The Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdHyXKDOq7g
@cindyc.1572
5 years ago
I was raised by a narcissistic mother. She never showed me love. I ended up with a narcissist and I tried so hard to get his love but of course there was none. I guess I searched out a person like my mother and tried to get that love I was denied my whole life. I realize now that I am a lovable person and I am free of these narcs. Their loss.
@eajosephedward
5 years ago
And really empathic people are a real threat to them, and those who are really talented and really articulate with their.minds those narcs try to diminish, minimize and sabotage them because they are grave threat to them and one of their biggest dislikes is being called out..
@1991windsor
5 years ago
I pretty much ignored every red flag in the beginning and it wasn't because I didn't want to accept what he was it was because I had no idea what narcissism was until I couldn't ignore the flags anymore and went to the internet. My biggest lesson in all of this was to always trust your gut it will never lead you astray.
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“Narcissists believe what they want is more important than a person's life.”
Why Narcissists Are Dangerous
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIk72D5Sy-U&t=2s
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:lmao:
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A narc is disconnected from its soul. It is like a robot that looks like a human.
5 Things You Need to Know About Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIyymYnuMoA
@ronaldculley
My ex narc not only would assign me tasks around the house, she would show and tell me how to do it. So who wears the tool belt in the house?
@pattyholmes127
5 years ago
Three (impossible) rules for getting along with a narcissist:
1--Agree with everything they say.
2--Do what they tell you.
3--Give them what they want.
@plumduff3303
5 years ago
The sad thing is you think they love you.
Reality is that they really don't although they love belittling and spending all your money and breaking your heart.
@bbelizy9627
5 years ago
If I had to pick only one video for a narc victim to listen to who doesn't understand what is happening to her or him, out of all the Youtube narc expert videos, it would be this video. This would be the one video I would give to the victim to help him or her. To me this is the most urgent information to give to a victim. The victims are living in constant trauma and psychological torture. They are in serious danger.
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When a Narcissist Gets Angry,
You've Defeated Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVQ2S1_Qkks
@carparthero
1 hour ago
In addition to anger, when the narcissist tells you things like:
-You've changed
-I got no use for you
-You're crazy
-You only care about yourself
They are really telling you that they have lost control over you.
At that point it's checkmate in your favor.
Keep winning!
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There is a difference between an excuse and an explanation.
Narcissists Need A Partner in Their Denial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Y8gN0kbNU
@penelopelambson9128
4 years ago
This is where the codependent becomes complicit in this mess.
@AFFTFOMSICHTS
4 years ago
The last Hoover I ever responded to my ex narc. i told him this exact thing. You live in a fantasy land and always have. I don’t. You can no longer try to convince me or manipulate me into believing “I’m a negative person” for seeing the reality and not believing in your delusions and fantasy.
@mauricenunez73
4 years ago
I hate narcissists. They are people who can’t do sh!t for themselves and manipulate good people around them to carry them through life. I haven’t seen any of the narcs in my life become suicidal, only threaten to do it. My reply is “go ahead, make my day.”
@blessOTMA
4 years ago
I wish I had back the decades of pointless " cheer leading" I put out for narcs who had no intention of actually moving forward. Great video.
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Do narcissists really ever suffer for what they do to their victims or do they just get away with it?
NPD types are constantly suffering. They have to overcome their regular morning depressive state by abusing other people, and/or consuming drugs and/or alcohol in a vain effort to self medicate the effects of their lack of essential brain parts away. They have to figure out their emotional responses and practice them in the mirror, and try to devise lose/lose situations for other people so they can feel, if not superior, then alive.
They have to fume and cook up revenge plots for people who took half a second too long to smile at them, or worse gave them friendly constructive criticism. They have to consider a lifetime of regrets and then lay them at the feet of innocent people. None of this sounds like flourishing nor thriving. Happiness to them is fleeting and usually involves some kind of abuse, whether of themselves or others.
In terms of justice, they do seem to get away with their horrific abuse. I don't hear of any getting thrown down disused wells with a case of six hand grenades without their pins or even a good ol’ fashioned hanging. I read supposedly that in France they can be incarcerated for up to five years, and under their legal system it is guilty until proven not guilty with the onus on the accused to prove their innocence.
I will say this: when they've demolished your life and you're sitting around in the dark wondering why you're not sleeping, eating and have panic attacks when you leave your house, and they're off having a wild time going to sex parties with the first guy who came along, you feel like there is no justice in this world.
Ultimately they suffer, and that is good enough for me. They just don't have the brain parts to even fully comprehend what they have done to you, so punishment with an eye to rehabilitation is not going to happen. Punishment focusing on corporeal punishment seems to be the best thing to hope for, but sadly is out of fashion.
It isn't that they won't face up to their horrific behaviour, merely they can't as they lack the full set of brain parts. You'd be better off expecting a cat to become an astrophysicist than expecting a narc to admit to themselves even how they are. Their whole existence is geared against this ever happening!
It is enough that they suffer full stop.
Look, people who have been through their evil nonsense must drop this idea of getting “justice”. Yeah, yeah, I know, it is… unjust… but it will consume you, absolutely consume you. It is a form of abuse nigh impossible to prove to the judiciary, who often enough have trouble even comprehending this personality disorder, coupled with the fact that the NPD is an accomplished, practiced grandmaster liar and they can call on their flying monkeys to back them up…
The whole criminal justice procedure would just traumatise you even more! What helped me is: they suffer. Even if you never waste another half second of your life on these creatures, they suffer. When you wake up in the morning to deal with the flattened fried crap they turned your life into, and slowly start to get somewhere dealing with it and can feel happy again, even for a minute at a time… they suffer.
It seems like they get away with it, but in the end when they've lost their youth and can't attract new victims and implode into a vicious pile of pus ridden garbage, that's justice. They are their own punishment, and they can never escape.
Their inescapable suffering is your justice!
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This is an interesting question. Do narcissists really ever suffer for what they do to their victims or do they just get away with it?
If you look at it from a normal human beings point of view, then yes they suffer. Any normal human being that loves someone and values someone doesn't really hurt that loved one for kicks and giggles. And if they lose that loved one, they have regrets.
However, for a narc, they can't face the consequences so they are constantly in denial. They'll never admit there is a problem. It's really all about their fragile ego and they will go to whatever lengths necessary to protect it. Whereas a normal person would work within a social, ethical, and legal framework, these guys are hell bent to ignore these boundaries. Which is what makes them so dangerous.
To answer your question, yes, narcissists do really suffer for what they do to their victims but because they are narcs they will never admit it, and deceive their own selves into believing that they actually got away.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-really-ever-suffer-for-what-they-do-to-their-victims-or-do-they-just-get-away-with-it
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Has anyone ever sued their
narcissist and won?
I don’t think Narcissists are as difficult to deal with in court as they are in home. Just prepare for a DUMB but RUTHLESS stupid evil idiot. You can easily win, if prepared. I don’t mean simply winning over them, I mean DESTROYING THEM.
They are so careless and irresponsible that they probably already gave you tons of ammunition.
_____________________________________
I did. Successfully.
It was a LOT of money, and a whole lot of gaslighting/heartache, but I nailed him. Seized his only asset, his estranged wives home, but did it.
Nailed him.
Exposed him totally. He knows now, not to mess with me, so has slithered off, silently, to new supply. (Who will quickly nail him too). I feel I owned my narc, exposed him and shamed him, as he so deserved. It was a tough, and expensive road. He is now living in a camper in someone's field, feeling the shame he deserves.
He did NOT destroy me, and is cowering about that now. He LOST the war. Profoundly. What a battle it was though!!! He tried to relentlessly destroy me, and failed. It has been a horrific experience. Huge toll on me, but I won! Exposed him epically! Has been tremendously difficult, but nailed him.
Narcissists are NOT smart. You simply understand what you are dealing with, and gather evidence. I easily accessed his emails, because he was so omnipotent, and had no clue. It sunk him! “these are my passwords. I have nothing to hide". Those same passwords accessed other email accounts he had hidden. Busted! LOL! Resulted in me successfully suing him. What a horrible journey though!
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It's not easy because narcs use a tactic called smear campaigns which ruin the victims reputation resulting in isolation.
Being a survivor who won ….you have to play mental chess with them I did this and it as draining and almost made me insane.
But somehow I studied him ….I stopped reacting. I silently played the fool.
Used his own strategic tactics on him.
Recruited my circle of trusted people which were mostly doctors counselors and detectives.
I made a paper trail of my mental health my drug free life and exploited the crap out of that maniac .
Yes it is possible.
___________________________________
Tough question as I can imagine it is born out of being on the end of this horriffic abuse .
There’s a lot of talk about money in the answers but I don’t believe money is a motivation for a victim . Neither is control . Justice and exposure of the abuse is what I find is a common theme . A victim wants some kind of justice.
Here’s what a victim of narcissistic abuse will be thinking . ‘If I sue then everyone will find out what's going on then all the people who didn’t believe me will realise what happened. He will lose his precious image , I will overthrow him and bring him to his knees and he will have nowhere to hide. I will force him to face himself . Everyone will know what I went through , because right now you still ARE reeling from what u went through , you should be , it was vile .
You hate him and all the people who only believe abuse if they can see it. You are let down by friends and family , enablers .You may be on the end of a smear campaign , you are probably depressed and isolated . Is it any wonder the thought of dragging HIM through Hell is more than inviting ?
The wounds of this kind of abuse hurt so much because they are invisible . Somehow this makes the suffering all the more heavier to bare. It exhausting explaining it to people who may not even care or understand , it’s traumatic talking about it just to tell someone what’s been going on. At least with cuts and bruises you don’t have to speak or explain . This is a violation of the heart and soul.
What is the payment for that ? What victims want is to be believed and to expose the abuse.
The issue is , if he hasn’t already started to claim to be the victim then this is when he will and boy will he do just that. YES, you have the truth on your side but guess what , when a narcissist is involved it gets all the more distorted . We are not discussing a rational person, we are talking about a highly disordered person who has spent their entire adult life getting very well versed in manipulation , projection and lies .
They will start an episode of behaviour so dark that you will truly see what it’s like to go to war with a narcissist . What I mean is if you think you know them now, you will truly know them if u take them to court . Their life depends on people believing their spin , if that is under threat they will go to any length to destroy you and your reputation .
They will manipulate everyone they can near and far , people they know you don’t get on with, any medical condition you may suffer from , they will go after your children , your house , your family , your job , and your emotional state . They will break you down with such flabbergasting attempts at lies , smears and untruths that you will reach peak madness. It will be a continuation of the abuse. I must press this point .
You would also realistically have to decide whether this was going to be a civil or criminal case. Many narcissists operate in the very grey area between the two. There is SO much evidence you will have to produce . This alone can re traumatise you having to look through photos , emails , txts , social media etc…
You will have to recount every thing that was said and done to abuse you and document your decreasing mental state and back that up with witnesses and evidence . Will these witnesses testify in court ? Many people care but they just don’t want to get involved .
As I said a narcissist is an expert at playing the victim . On paper and in person.
The rage you feel may seem to be able to counteract any malicious behaviour from the narcissist but that is a high level of constant stress. I’m talking that ball of anxiety and fear you had every day X 10 . Every thought will be taken up with this , every conversation .
I can understand that you’ve tried the ‘being happy without him is the best revenge’ but the thoughts of suing can be overwhelming . You don’t imagine anyone would fail to believe you faced with your evidence but court is a cold hard unforgiving place . Only solid evidence will be taken into account . Only you know if that solid evidence is there and you’ll only know that by talking to a solicitor .
Talking costs a lot when solicitors are involved . Every call , every email , every letter , all of it is on the clock .realistically I would put by at least 50k if you are seriously thinking about it . If that kind of money is not available then perhaps really rethink it. You could go to a no win no fee law firm, but there also costs there and really do u want the best or some freebee ? You need the best representation if you are going to put yourself through this hell. You want people experienced in these cases .
You need someone who truly understands NPD and can explain this in court to people who may never have heard of it . Ultimately it’s the judge who will decide but the jury are the strangers who will determine their verdict . That is hard to accept . Strangers will be assessing if they believe you or your abuser . This alone is tormenting .
Make a list of the things you want to gain by going to court . Be completely honest . Make a list of risks. Again be honest . Now compare the two .
Understand the law on coercive control and mental abuse in your country . Look up similar cases which ended in prosecution. I know that in the UK the law was passed on coercive control about 2 years ago and only one man has since been convicted . The maximum sentence is 5 years .
Let’s say your ideal outcome happens . Let’s say he’s sent down for 2 years . (That would be a serious conviction ) Two years pass. It comes close to the day of his release . You are now in utter fear and dread that he will be coming after you . You know he can’t but can you imagine what this would have done to a narcissist . He would have been carving your name on the wall every single day.
Court cannot be taken lightly . It’s a serious affair made even more serious when a narcissist is involved . It feels righteous to want to do it after emotional and psychological abuse but there is so so much to consider .
If you are still in recovery it’s an absolute no no . It could possibly send you into a breakdown . This is how narcissists operate . I can tell you that for sure . I would recommend waiting a year from ending a relationship with a person like this before contemplating anything .
You MUST put your own healing first . Then and only then can you look at it more objectively . The ruminating thoughts that trouble you will fade eventually . Great people will come into your life . Give it time . Give yourself time . Be kind to yourself.
I don’t believe in karma so I won’t leave some crass comment like ‘he’ll get his’ BUT one of the downfalls of the narcissist is that their arrogance makes them think they are untouchable . They will at some point abuse the wrong person , lose their grip on their perfect image , or run out of people to gaslight and fool. Probably all three. Most decent people see it eventually and steer well clear . Most people always felt there was something up with this person but couldn’t put their finger on it.
Rest assured you will never have to live with the level of paranoia and self hatred they live with every day of their lives and yes I hate to say it but you healing without them and becoming your true self once more will put them in an absolute rage . Boohoo ! Your success will literally drive them mad. Remember that.
Sorry this was really quite long . I hope it helps .
https://www.quora.com/Has-anyone-ever-sued-their-narcissist-and-won
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Have you ever tried to
sue a narcissist?
I'm currently embroiled in a legal battle with my narc sister.
Keep a diary. Document EVERYTHING.
Record every telephone call if you can.
Screenshot or download each and every SMS. I'm using an iPhone and have the device set to purge after 1 year and using a special app that lets me download and keep SMS conversations.
Save all emails.
Force conversations to email or SMS if at all possible.
Since my dispute involves the estate of a deceased parent, I hired a lawyer.
Never say or do anything you wouldn't want to explain to a judge.
Difficult but not impossible. The key is to have good documentation and organize things so the court sees through the lies.
Before talking with a lawyer make sure you have a clear and logical diary of events. Make sure you include as much evidence as you can on your position as well as documentation on any abuse the narc dishes out.
For example as part of my deposition I included an email series where I ask my sister about an event and she responds telling me it didn't happen. (Even though I have evidence to show said event DID happen). My lawyer also understands that my sister's tactic is largely to deny deny deny. (And we have some interesting evidence lined up when it comes time for questioning)
Your lawyer need to see YOU as reasonable and the other party as unreasonable.
Seek out Rebeca Zung on YouTube. Her SLAY program on dealing with narcs in court is well worth the money.
Be persistent. Narcs are emotionally week and you WILL persevere if you're persistent
Do some research ahead of time on your case. Google is your friend. I was able to find case law that supports my position.
Feel free to PM me or respond to this comment. I keep track of responses.
Edit: What happened? My lawyer made an application to the court, it was challenged and we're now in the discovery process. Questioning happens next month. We have the upper hand but she's resisting.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAfterNarcissism/comments/127iwwy/have_you_ever_tried_to_sue_a_narcissist/
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The #1 Trick For Bringing
A Narcissist To Justice
Narcissists fight DIRTY.
In battle with a narcissist, whilst trying to get resolution, sanity or even a scrap of decency, it may seem like all you get is MORE traumatisation.
Narcissists can feel IMPOSSIBLE to defeat.
But … this isn’t the case.
In today’s Thriver TV episode, I am going to hand you the REAL way to bring a narcissist to justice.
https://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/the-1-trick-for-bringing-a-narcissist-to-justice/
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The scary thing is how many of these people are existing among us.
The Most Dangerous Kind of Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0sR7jRyIo4
@aliasno.4andover644
2 years ago
Narcissist are Vampires
Psychopaths are Werewolves
@marijkevandermeer2772
4 years ago
Their behaviour is not human...
@whygohome172
3 years ago
Can't fix them! CAN'T love them into wellness....they hate you!!!
@frugalfrugal1307
4 years ago
Sam Vaknin described it as if they had been body-snatched. There is nothing of the original person/narc left behind. They have been entirely consumed by evil and all that has been left behind is the demon in the meat suit who is toying with his unsuspecting victims for his own recreation and entertainment.
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What are the signs that
a narcissist is miserable?
Narcissists are miserable in so many ways:
When the narcissist is especially miserable, he or she will be moody and contemptuous, which can lead to narcissistic rages.
When the narcissist is miserable, he or she will snap at you for minor things, sometimes becoming full-on sessions of emotional terrorism.
When the narcissist is miserable, he or she will refuse to do any chores in the household.
When the narcissist is miserable, he or she will be passive-aggressive and nitpick you to death.
The narcissist will make you aware of his or her misery by pouting or moping around publicly.
The narcissists will show you that he or she is miserable by throwing tantrums when you reasonably ask him or her to do anything they don't want to do.
The narcissist is miserable when he or she launches into tirades or rants about something or somebody he or she doesn't like.
The narcissist is miserable when he or she is outdone in absolutely anything.
Narcissists are miserable almost constantly. They live in a world of misery, and as we know, misery loves company, so they think, "Why don't we inflict someone to somebody else?"
But the truth is that no amount of suffering they make you feel will alleviate the misery that they go through in their mind.
They feel, "I'll just inflict maximum suffering on others and my misery will go away."
Wrong.
Narcissists have zero self-awareness into their own suffering, and they repress it because they want to appear superior. When they feel too stressed out by their internal whirl of suffering, they inflict pain on you.
Narcissists will show their misery outwardly rather than inwardly, so be prepared for a lot of games where they take their anger out on you. They want total dominance, both over their own feelings of misery and over you.
_______________________________________
Narcissists are miserable because a lot of human happiness comes from the happiness of others.
The same part of your brain responsible for empathy, the Left Anterior Insula Cortex, is also responsibility for feelings of well being.
The truth is that as individuals we don't have a huge amount of success. There are downtimes, setbacks, long dark nights of the soul, and some hard won victories.
Being able to share in the lives of others, to laugh with them at troubles we can relate to, console them in hard times, celebrate their achievements gives us access to so much extra happiness.
Relating to others helps to ease the pain of loneliness, and sharing offers us opportunities for the joy of understanding and being understood.
Happiness lost to us if we must always be better than everyone.
https://thetoxicnarcissist.quora.com/What-are-the-signs-that-a-narcissist-is-miserable
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Why should we forgive
the narcissist?
:deadhorse: :drama: :troll2:
To forgive is NOT condoning what that person did to you and you are not condoning that person's behavior.
What you are doing when you forgive it to let go of and to release all the bitterness, anger, hate, and feelings of vengeance against that person. Remember...the only person you are hurting is yourself by not forgiving.
Do you think that person cares how you feel?
No.
Do you think your unforgiveness is hurting that other person?
No.
I know it is very difficult to forgive but when you continue to dwell on that person and what he/she did to you, you are giving that person all your power and control. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK and start loving yourself! That's what forgiveness is all about.
My husband's ex exhibits all the characteristics of a covert narcissist. Although he has always been a positive and optimistic person it was his Christian faith that helped him overcome 30 years of narcissistic abuse. If you can't afford therapy and you don't have a Church or Christian friends you can lean on, find a NPD support group in your area or via a website group. They can provide the support you need.
You will overcome.
I know you will.
________________________________________
No.
And I do not think it is necessary.
Acceptance, yes.
Forgiveness, no.
First, the only thing in this ordeal I am responsible for is being too forgiving. I always forgave his poor behavior and abuse. I forgave his cruelty when I did not understand where it was coming from. I forgave all the pain he caused me in our relationship when we were still together.
I think healing from this type of abuse is when you STOP forgiving someone who hurts you. You say “NO MORE, you are NOT forgiven this time, you are a bad person and I am done with you.” You accept, heal and move on.
There is no need to forgive a person who does not see any wrongdoing and furthermore manipulates you trying to lay all blame at your feet. This is not a person seeking repentance and feels no remorse, therefore not deserving of your forgiveness. Even more so, they do not care to be forgiven so why should you beat yourself up thinking that is requisite for you to heal yourself?
Why should you take this burden?
Forgiveness is between them and God.
It is not my job to forgive a person who hurt me.
__________________________________
HELL NO!
Why?
Because they know exactly what they did to you.
Just to let reality slip into your mind for a moment let me refresh the part of your memory that needs to be refreshed.
And I’m not talking about the fantasy person you fell in love with, that was not real…
The person that you saw in front of you gaslighting you, hitting you, cheating on you, lying to you, yelling at you, scaring you, abusing you mentally, psychologically and emotionally.
That is WHO THEY ARE
That is the person you were in a relationship with.
That is the reality.
You do not have to forgive someone who actually hates you, despises the ground you walk on and never loved you.
Not now, not then, not EVER!!!
https://www.quora.com/Why-should-we-forgive-the-narcissist-What-should-I-do-to-get-past-the-hurt-and-extreme-disappointment-caused-by-an-NPD-person-after-going-no-contact-How-do-we-regain-a-sense-of-peace-after-the-trauma-if-we-cant-afford-therapy
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What happens if
the narcissist’s New Supply is always agreeable?
This won’t change the narcissist’s behavior at all, but it will please them. Not for very long though. Narcissists have tremendous eternal boredom, so soon enough, they’d get sick and bored to death of the doormat you’ve become. This will likely bring a discard for you. With a narcissist, you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. They’re never pleased for long, and will never be satisfied or unbored.😱👀
____________________________________________
THE NARCISSIST WILL NARCISSIST.
Like they always do.
No one can stop the narcissist from narcissisting.
No matter the type of character they possess.
And no matter which behavior they choose to exhibit.
The narcissist WILL devalue every partner they'll ever be with.
And they WILL have the desire to fk the life of those who care about them.
Anyone.
And under any circumstances.
Devaluation is a manifestation of their disorder.
It's inescapable.
The narcissist devalues because they hate the thing/person they're devaluing.
They hate them because the disorder pushes them to look for a new host to extract supply from.
They have to hate them because the only other explanation for preferring to be with random strangers despite their partner bending over backwards for them, giving them everything they can and staying a caring and faithful Clown Slave, is the narcissist being fked in the head.
And that's just a possibility they're not willing to consider.
Therefore their Clown Slave has to be a crackhead from hell.
And, nartechnically, be the one who's pushing the narcissist away and deserves to be betrayed with the fury of hellfire.
Agreeable or not,
The narcissist doesn’t give 2 fks.
They have a need for supply to tend to.
No one cares how nice you are.
________________________________________
The Narc, all Narcs, run the same patterns over and over. It does not matter how the new supply behaves, they are disrespected and treated the same as you were.
________________________________________
Looks can be very deceiving! However, they look happy with their new supply, because they are happy. Just imagine trading your car in for a brand-new shiny car. You would be happy too. Their new supply is giving them the same exact validation that you gave them when you first met.
That happiness that you’re seeing is only temporary, just like it was during the idealization phase with you. Idealization is a form of infatuation which starts intense then as time passes by it will eventually decrease to devaluation and toxicity. They have a new victim who is believing every lie, deception, and manipulation which gives the narcissist new narcissistic supply.
This is actually a high for them, no different than an addict getting a new fresh hit on a drug.
Or a kid getting a new toy, initially they’re happy and excited, but eventually they get bored or lose interest, and the toy gets tossed away.
That scenario is the same for someone who has NPD narcissistic personality disorder.
The happiness that you see from your perspective is only a false reflection of what the narcissist is mirroring from their new supply (let that sink in). The new supply is super ecstatic very happy, and the narcissist copies-mirror his or her behavior.
The happiness that you see is a facade, a mask that they wear temporarily until they show their true colors to the new supply. They tend to use very skillful manipulation, superficial charm, false promises, and future faking to their new supply, as they did with you.
As the new supply smiles with gleam thinking that they have found the one; the narcissist is also internally smiling with gleam, because they have a new supply source to add to their collection. The more the merrier in their delusional mind.
Narcissists are not interested in a healthy life-term potential partnership with anyone. They want or need short-term potential victims or prey, not a healthy relationship. They want a constant flow of attention, validation, adoration, gratification, obedience, pleasure, and loyalty with no reciprocity in which the new supply will be met with that sooner or later.
They want someone who they can control, manipulate, mislead, use and abuse. The new supply makes them feel good about themselves, providing their ego a sweet steady stroke, and that is why the narcissist looks happy with a new supply.
__________________________________
Related:
What happens when you are no longer the narcissist’s supply?
What happens when you're no longer feeding Narcy?
A lot of things will happen, such as:
1. Narcy will hate you with a vengeance.
The fog you've been in will lift…slowly but steadily until it's completely gone.
The good memories you had of Narcy will be hit with the functional reality of what they were…LIES.
You'll get angry. And get over it.
You'll become determined. And get to work.
You'll get down to business of rebuilding you and your life.
You'll learn to gracefully tango away from attempted hoovers while delivering devastating blows of narcissistic injury to ward off future hoover attempts.
You'll heal…mentally, physically, spiritually, financially, and emotionally.
You'll let go of your anger and resentment, but will never change your opinion of Narcy (he simply won't matter anymore).
You'll hold boundaries more firmly than Kilimanjaro. You will tolerate no one who attempts to cross them.
You'll set goals and achieve them.
You'll learn to smile again, laugh again, and love again.
You'll learn to love yourself, respect yourself and walk with grace and dignity.
You'll work on fixing things about you that you don't like.
You'll accept your share of responsibility.
You'll open up sexually and love with sheer reckless abandon, while still maintaining healthy boundaries and your independence.
You'll have your life back…but better than it ever was before.
You'll help other victims thru the murky waters of recovery.
If you've found yourself no longer as Narcy’s supply, count your lucky stars and the graces of God for the freedom and new lease you've been given on life, and then make the most of it!
You're free from hell….the hell of abuse. Don't ever go back to it.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-if-the-narcissist-s-new-supply-is-always-agreeable
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:smee!: :duckling:
-
They find another victim. They don’t reflect.
They haven’t changed, they just move on.
WHY THE NARCISSIST
WANTS TO DISRUPT
YOUR HEALING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quVPk7UD5nk
@marieeakin8534
27 minutes ago
The narc never wants to lose the position of control or feeling they own you.
Disrupting your healing keeps their game going. You moving on is impossible in their twisted mind frame. You know better so continue your healing path....because you need you now!
Be Well
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What/How do narcissists actually think and feel about people they can’t control?
If the narcissist cannot control you, they will either see no use in you, or see you as a threat.
If they do not have to co-exist with you, their best bet is to act as if you do not exist and accept you have nothing to offer them, good or bad. They will move on.
If they do have to co-exist with you, or if for some reason they cannot ignore that you exist, then they will likely see you as a threat. Narcissists see everyone around them as a potential threat, if they cannot avoid the person and are constantly reminded of that person but cannot control them.
The narcissist will test you, in every way possible, with the view to getting a handle over you. They do not want you to be someone who thinks, acts, breathes, or bleeds independently. They must have some form of leverage over you.
Otherwise, you are ‘equals', and that is not ok in the narcissist's books. Because being equals, immediately makes them feel ‘less than'. They must feel ‘more than', and the only way to achieve this..... is control.
When the narcissist has to co-exist with someone and they have absolutely no leverage over that person, it will seriously unnerve them.
It might even keep them up at night, thinking and wondering — how can I get a grip, control, over the person.
And they will really hate you for it, not realising the problem fully resides in them.
Absurd, I know.
___________________________________
They will call them everything in the book. They will treat them badly. But secretly they will have a respect but will never admit it. A supply they cannot control has strength and independence.
They respect themselves.
They trust themselves.
The narcissist admires these qualities because deep down the narc is insecure. This supply is smart and confident and the narcs envies these qualities. The narc knows this supply will find out their lies and will not tolerate their abuse.
These supplies will walk away and never look back.
_________________________________________
Narcissists typically have a deep-seated need for control, admiration, and validation from others. When they encounter individuals who challenge their control or refuse to be manipulated, narcissists may react in various ways based on their individual traits and the specific circumstances.
Here are some common ways narcissists may think and feel about people they can't control:
Frustration and Anger: Narcissists may feel frustrated and angry when they encounter individuals who stand their ground and resist their attempts at manipulation. They may view these individuals as a threat to their sense of control and superiority.
Dismissiveness: Some narcissists may dismiss or belittle individuals who challenge them as a way to protect their fragile ego. They may see these individuals as inferior or unworthy of their attention.
Manipulation Tactics: Narcissists may resort to more covert manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting or guilt-tripping, in an attempt to regain control over those who resist them. They may try to undermine the confidence and self-esteem of these individuals to make them more susceptible to manipulation.
Devaluation: Narcissists may devalue individuals who refuse to comply with their demands or who challenge their authority. They may criticize, insult, or demean these individuals in an attempt to assert their dominance and superiority.
Idealization-Devaluation Cycle: In some cases, narcissists may cycle between idealizing and devaluing individuals who stand their ground. They may initially idealize these individuals for their strength and independence, but when they realize they cannot control them, they may devalue them as a defense mechanism.
Seeking Alternative Sources of Narcissistic Supply: If a narcissist is unable to control a particular individual, they may redirect their efforts towards finding other sources of narcissistic supply that are more compliant and easier to manipulate.
It's important to note that narcissistic behavior exists on a spectrum, and not all individuals with narcissistic traits will react in the same way.
Additionally, the behavior of narcissists can be influenced by various factors, such as their personality, upbringing, and past experiences.
https://www.quora.com/What-how-do-narcissists-actually-think-and-feel-about-people-supplies-they-can-t-control-The-ones-who-stand-their-ground-and-look-for-answers
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What can narcissistic abuse
do to somebody?
Narcissistic abuse has been called "Soul Rape".
It totals the victim- mentally, emotionally, physically. The victim is left completely destroyed. The narcissist steals your time, energy, support network, your sense of self. I had a nervous breakdown.
___________________________________________
It is pure emotional and mental trauma, immensely destructive and nothing but evil.
I was married to a covert narc for 14 years, and I have never experienced abuse and such toxicity as I did with him and his family. I will never be the same person I was before I met and married the narc. The abuse has permanently changed me.
I will never be the same again, but I’m so pissed off at being abused that I’m not going to allow anyone to do that to me again. It is the most damaging thing I’ve ever experienced. My first husband hit me. My second husband tore me to shreds with his mental and verbal abuse. That, to me, was much worse.
I am working on being a better version of myself because the abuse taught me a lot about people and allowed me to separate the good people from the bad.
___________________________________________
My ex pushed at least one person to suicide (an employee). He told me shortly before the funeral that he wasn’t going to go because he didn’t think the family would want him there.
I’d seen their emails and I knew how my ex could push people into hating themselves. He is very difficult to interact with (if you’re a target). He told his postpartum depressed ex to kill herself, and has been pushing to break me for the majority of the last 14 years.
It will never work, but in years past I had contemplated it.
I have a nice life, and I’d never contemplated such a thing before. Nor will I again, because I see it all too clearly now and the power is diminished. But I’d never have thought about it in the first place, ever, were it not for the psychological mindf*k I suffered at his hands for so long.
Within the first couple of years I had become a withdrawn, insecure, panicky, confused, tormented, depressed, socially anxious, frustrated, jumbled mess.
I had started to believe I was stupid. I am not.
I had started to believe that I really must have a poor memory. I did not. My memory has been detailed and strong my entire life.
He’d rewrite things so confidently and I’d been so mentally beaten down that I began to believe that maybe I really was remembering wrong, like he said.
Maybe I really did deserve all of those laughing, pitying head pats he’d give me.
Maybe I really was too sensitive when he’d intentionally embarrass me in public - or in front of my own coworkers or family - with a giant grin and then openly admit that it was fun for him.
Maybe it really was my fault that he had a fling with the neighbor across the street and claimed that it was because of received (received!) a harmless and platonic message from an old college classmate I hadn’t seen in years. Maybe that made sense.
Maybe I did deserve it when he’d yell at me in public, maybe it really was okay for him to do the same things he’d crucify me for if I did them, maybe constant criticism was normal, maybe I was selfish for wanting the normal things he’d promised me for years (marriage, two babies), things he himself had promised and later told me I was only thinking about myself for wanting the same things almost everyone in the world wants, and does, because it’s normal to want and to do.
Maybe setting boundaries did mean I deserved retaliation.
It does a number on your outlook, your perspective on the world, your view of yourself. I did not harm myself and I never will, but his abuse won’t stop just because we’re apart and I did reach several very low points during those years when it crossed my mind.
It won’t again, I’m beyond that stage in healing, but I understand why people do.
It’s hell.
https://www.quora.com/What-can-narcissistic-abuse-do-to-somebody
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Can narcissistic abuse kill you?
The stress of narcissistic abuse gave me a heart attack. It almost killed me. Stress is a known killer. Creates all kinds of health issues, from cardiovascular and gastric issues to autoimmune problems.
Stress adds to high blood pressure. It can cause heart attacks and strokes. It adds to anxiety and depression.
Narcissistic abuse is extremely stressful. It kills people. As I stated before it almost killed me. The strain I was under was off the charts.
Let's not forget the people that narcissists push to the point of suicide. I cannot help but think at least part of the time it's intentional.
_______________________________________
If you are with a narcissist long enough, and I can say this with absolute certainty: your soul will die. And that’s all narcissists really want, anyway. Simply, every single aspect, every single atom of you.
________________________________________
Yes, it’s psychological murder. A slow painful death by covert abuse. They don’t even have to pull the trigger. They wait for you to do it for them.
_______________________________________
Yes.
The victim can start having suicidal thoughts and act upon them or their narcissistic abuser can do something violent to them which will put their life in danger.
Constant abuse over years can also become complex trauma which will deteriorate the victim's nervous system and affect their health in many different ways which can ultimately lead to suicidal thoughts (even years after the abuse ended) or complications.
Narcissistic abuse and complex trauma are real and they are never to be taken lightly.
___________________________________
Your beautiful personality is the very core of your being -- They will try to steal as much of it as they can.
You may have actually looked forward to when they would leave; Being alone was better than walking on egg shells. You could breathe easier knowing your every move wasn't being analyzed.
You didn't have to give a reason why you made what you made for dinner, or why you wanted or didn't want to watch a show. You didn't have to justify what you were wearing. You could talk to your friends and family freely. Your parenting decisions weren't undermined. Your housekeeping wasn't criticized.
There was no one to argue with... You could relax for a little bit, and recharge for the next battle when they came back home...
A narcissist has a lot of built-up resentment toward their significant other. They know that they are reliant on you for validation. However, they crave variety and are easily bored. As a result, they blame you for "tying them down" to a monotonous and mundane lifestyle.
This creates in them a great deal of anger towards you, because they do not want to rely on you, yet know that they must in order to get the validation that they so desperately need. They do not respect you, because they know you put up with a lot of abuse from them. You have done nothing wrong, but be overly giving and nurturing. Yet, they are angry with you and they blame you for all of their unhappiness...
Narcissists are such hypocrites that they pretend to have morals, standards, feelings, and a conscience, but they possess none of these. They will lie, insult, cheat, abuse, and disrespect you, but in return they will expect fidelity, respect, and all of your time and energy to be spent on them. They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, but you are to remain loyal and perfect at all times.
Narcissists have no boundaries. They feel entitled to say whatever they feel is true, and litter their opinions, whether it's rude, hurtful, or not true at all. They will then get angry when you defend yourself and blame you for causing "drama."
This isn't healthy, it's toxic... And, definitely not love...
______________________________________
Yes.
Any sort (or mix) of Cluster B disordered abuse can kill people outright, psychologically injure them severely enough for suicide to look like a rational option or, with a really devious abuser, end in death from lack of care when the target is ill.
My first husband, a fully aware and malignant narcissist, the latter 2 options were tried, with a lack of success, thank God. And I haven’t the smallest doubt that, if he’d come up with a foolproof scheme to murder me, he would have tried that. He had no conscience and no humanity at all. I think of him as The Evil Alien.
My second and current (covert communal cerebral) un-self-aware husband is very different from him in presentation, so much so that even after 9 years of single living after surviving husband #1, my warning bells failed to go off and he swept me to the altar in record time. My bad.
Like everything else about him, his abuse is lower-key than the first one’s. But the cumulative effect is still despair. And when he and one of his crushes tag-teamed me 20+ years ago, I once again found myself thinking seriously about checking out. I was saved by a garden shed, as I’ve written about elsewhere, and thus lived long enough to find Quora. But it was a near thing and no one should ever underestimate the destructive power of a disordered person. They can be, and frequently are, DEADLY.
___________________________________________
Yes !
That is their goal.
Narcissists want you DEAD.
They want you DESTROYED.
And they want to be responsible for your death (and don’t want anyone to know they were responsible).
They enjoy watching you slowly die inside from the various health ailments their abuse causes that will completely vanish if you leave them.
They enjoy you getting sick to the point that you no longer want to live.
They enjoy every minute of it.
And when you’re dead, they'll love the attention from people they'll receive over your dead body.
This is who they are.
This is who you are dealing with.
This is how serious this can end up if you don’t get out of the relationship.
https://www.quora.com/Can-narcissistic-abuse-kill-you
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:groucho:
-
Narcissists don't want your help----they want narcissistic supply. They will play the part of a willing patient until they’ve hooked you into giving them endless supply.
Accepting That You Cannot
Help Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFz5q8YkL-4
@carolloraine223
5 years ago
They DON'T want help!!!
Its not our responsibility to change them.
Move on!!!
-
They are never wrong. You are.
Narcissists & Emotional Reasoning
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO0lThpiuqM
@kiefajordan6039
2 years ago
YOUR feelings are nothing them, THEIR feelings are facts to them.
@PolarBearPredator
2 years ago
So in short they are completely insane.
@masquarra
2 years ago
2+2=35 is how the narcissists calculate.
@manapeace
2 years ago
Great explanation of what I call “solution skipping”… rather than examining multiple solutions to find the optimal one for a particular problem, they dig their heels into a single solution… and better suggestions are a threat to their ego.
@na2869
2 years ago
They do this cuz that’s what they do to other people so they assume u think that way too.
They often say & do things intentionally to hurt u so u must be doing that to them.
Since they operate this way, they believe everyone else does too….
@JollyCelery
2 years ago
This was the constant refrain in my ex relationship! Every single thing I said or did was designed to humiliate, embarrass or upset him. His poor self esteem and miserable existence was always my fault. The constant accusations thrown at you by these people are soul crushing.
@sarahrobertson634
2 years ago
Why bother interacting with someone who falsely accuses you all the time? Just walk away.
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Narcissists do not stay for very long around people with excellent boundaries.
How To Reveal Hidden Narcissists In Your Life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtWtTYTbKpg
-
NO is a fantastic test for disordered people.
What Happens When You Tell
A Narcissist "No".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5I6G7jvVs
What happens when you tell a narcissist NO?
The center of gravity realigns the earth's axis and life as you know it will be vastly different.
If the narcissist is someone who wants the thing being asked for very badly they may attempt several tactics. Depends on what has worked in the past and how badly they want it.
A narcissistic person is all about the end product. They want what they want and feel entitled to have it.
They will ask, beg, manipulate, bribe, guilt, any possible tactic to get what they want even up to stealing an object. And in thier mind, if you had just given them the thing, they wouldn't have had to steal it in the first place. So the theft would be YOUR fault.
Now if theft is impossible, you have said no, and you intend to stick to it, plan to be busy. They will continue to bug you and annoy you about it, they are very tenacious, especially if they feel that you are the only one who can provide the thing. They will call, text, email, smoke signal whatever they can do to ask for and get it. So don't be available.
Now if the time has passed for the thing to be acquired. Say it's the day after a concert they wanted. The band is gone and concert is over. The narcissist WON'T be over it. You ruined their life and they hate you. You could have let them go but you didn't and now you will PAY.
Nobody does vindictive like a narcissistic person. They will have plenty of verbal digs, silent treatment, pretty much any way possible to inform the world they are mad. They sometimes spread rumors and their anger will at times inflate the situation or provide details that didn't actually happen in the story. Consider the worst toddlers tantrum you ever saw.
Now add adult size and strength, add cunning, add social media so they can crucify you in public as well, and add some adult intelligence because they even attempt to draw some of your friends away from you.
Narcissistic people are not good friends. Try a rabid badger instead. They are less vindictive and somewhat friendlier. Sooner or later EVERYONE will have to say no to a narcissistic person. That's why they tend to have different friends all the time. The last friend said no and was effectively replaced by the new sucker.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-tell-a-narcissist-NO
-
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Narc: "Are you going to be nice to me?"
Me: "Are you going to respect me?"
Narcissists Are Fragile
(And It Makes Them MORE Dangerous, Not Less)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hZiTkPKCB0
-
Pride Mural DEFACED AGAIN,
Woke Leftists LOSE IT After People DESECRATE
Neo-Com Woke Flag AGAIN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5taSAMAOrs
@ronaldculley
12 minutes ago
Defund Paint!
Arrest tires!
@SuitorASMR
16 hours ago
Maybe if they stopped putting their stupid flags ON THE ROAD people would stop DRIVING over them.
@angela-bc5ym
13 hours ago
Stepping On a pride flag 5 years in jail. Sexual assault on a child 5 months. This world is evil.
-
Miserable is an understatement.
Narcissists Are Chronically Miserable
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtAMd9hcC08&t=11s
@Ruby0465
2 years ago
I'm starting to believe that the older they get, the more intolerable they get. They just start snapping out of the blue for no reason...very scary.
@GullerudGallery
2 years ago
It's why I can't HATE them. Just avoid them as much as possible.
@MichaelSmith-jz7xg
1 year ago
Unless you are willing and able to join them in their misery, there’s really nothing you can do but throw up your hands and walk away.
@nanakwakudadeyakrofi2977
1 year ago
The more you learn about them the less you hate them and more you just pity them.
-
:t2:
-
Being with these types of people is like building your house on top of quicksand.
That Was Then, This Is Now:
Instability In Narcissistic Relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Q8zJHDTre4
@goodgracious6364
3 years ago (edited)
One minute a narc can literally be thanking God for you, then the very next minute they can literally be sneering at you like you're the most disgusting person they've ever known--just because you disagreed with them about something minor!
It can shake you to the core and cause the hair to stand up on your arms. It takes you aback because you will be wondering if you're dealing with the same person. Then when you ask the narc what's going on, they just stare at you like they don't know what YOUR problem is!
@warorislam
3 years ago
A narcissist society is work harder not smarter.
They don't contribute to better a society because it thrives on chaos and confusion.
@geraldpomerantz4664
3 years ago
In 24 hours she went from "I want to make our relationship work" to "I don’t want a relationship with you" -phone hang up.
You gotta block these crazies and save yourself! DO IT NOW!!!
-
It’s so insane how they expect the world from someone while giving less than nothing in return.
Do Narcissists Love Other People?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8keyquAt6Tw
@suckafree6195
3 years ago (edited)
I knew who I was dealing with when my replacement dumped him and he posted “ today I lost the “thing” I love the most”. I had some closure that day. He also would say “I known you for so long, for you to leave me it hurts me”. Never did he say “I love you”. Horrible disorder they have. End of the relationship I didn’t even want revenge. I realized that he is his worse enemy. My revenge is that I’m capable of authentic feelings. He gets to live his life in fear of exposure.
@ruxandraserbanescu9831
3 years ago
“Narcissists love utility not identity “. If you have an identity you are more likely to feel instantly the dissonance in the narcissist and disengage; thank you
@vibehigh5280
3 years ago
Sometimes truth hurts, but that's better than living in an illusions. It will heal.
@blessOTMA
3 years ago
They are so self absorbed, they never get to a place where there is another person.
-
I love when a narcissist stops talking to me! I call that sweet peace!
The 3 Reasons Narcissists
Discard People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie61BrtGeEY
@catalinaroses2298
5 years ago
His discard of me was so very painful. It happened when I trusted and loved him the most. Now, after nearly 2 years since he discarded me (and learning about narcissism soon after the discard), I am so grateful that he made it an easy way out for me of that fake relationship. I knew he didn’t love me. My life is better without the drama and triangulation and his irrational jealousy of my child. Good riddance!!!
-
I think a person's life experiences are very different when the first bully they encounter is their parent.
3 Painful Things Every Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Says
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E4Rx89ZunI
@lindat1317
1 hour ago
That was the hardest—I wasn’t “me” anymore. Everything I said I’d Never do, I did. I didn’t recognize myself and my family didn’t recognize me. By the time of discard, I was just a shell of myself. I’m so glad I was stronger than I thought and although broken and scarred, I built myself back up and can spot that crazy in a nanosecond now. Never again.
@elizabethborson1739
1 hour ago
I grew up with a narcissistic sister so it wasn’t a surprise. When I left home at 20 years old, I thought I had escaped. No, My first boyfriend was a narcissist, my first husband was and my second husband is a narcissist. At least now I know what kind of people they are.
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
I'm hangin' Tuff, standing my ground. I am crippled but I'm not broken. Vids like this keep me centered. I Blog my studies.
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=8312.0
-
MEME TEST: Combining Pieces
-
Narcs are the most pathetic creatures on Earth.
The main thing narcissists
dislike and fear about you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHs7wd6THSI
-
:keelhaul:
-
Who is Maria Consiglio?
As of my last knowledge cutoff date in September 2021, I don't have any information about a notable figure named Maria Consiglio. It's possible that she may have gained prominence or become the subject of memes, quotes, and phrases after that date. It's also possible that Maria Consiglio is a fictional character or a persona created for internet memes and jokes.
If Maria Consiglio has become well-known after 2021, I recommend conducting a search on popular social media platforms, websites, or forums to see if there is more information available about her. Additionally, checking online sources and forums where these memes, quotes, and phrases are being shared might provide more context about who she is and why she has become a popular subject of discussion.
___________________________________
I believe she is someone who is very in touch with reality and has opened up my eyes on a few demons that were disguised as people who cared and I appreciate her tremendously because my whole life I thought it was me that was the deranged one when all along it was those demons messing with me.
_______________________________________
I am in the same boat. I cannot find anything about her other than quotes/memes. She is very spot on, but I’d love to know more (is she an author, therapist, etc), her quotes always hit home.
_______________________________________
Her quotes about narcissists are always spot-on. If she’s a therapist, or author, I’d be interested in knowing her professional (contact) information.
I haven’t found anything specific yet either.
___________________________________________
I looked her up.
She's an amazing therapist specializing in relationships and personal growth. The quotes that she actually writes will have her name on them, or just have her logo. She's on Instagram. I found her there.
https://www.instagram.com/understandingthenarc/?hl=en
:tello: "I found her on YouTube".
https://www.youtube.com/@mariaconsiglio2033
**************************
https://www.quora.com/Who-is-Maria-Consiglio-I-see-a-lot-memes-quotes-and-phrases-by-her-and-would-like-to-know-who-she-is-Can-anyone-shed-any-light-on-it-please
-
Narcissists don’t talk to you. They talk at you.
DO THIS When Narcissist Talks
to You!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLxCUhjGMj0&t=43s
-
The fact they target certain people is enough proof of awareness for me. They are target based individuals, they have a plan and execute it, and then you.
Are Narcissists Mentally Ill?
Short answer: "YES"!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d76v-GUEGEQ
@MellyMae44
4 years ago
Of course they know the difference between right and wrong. My narc husband can be sickeningly sweet to people in public, but a profanity-screaming, object-throwing psycho behind closed doors.
And then the neighbors call the police because of 48 straight hours of screaming. He tells me before opening the door to the police, "Well, I hope you are happy," as if it's MY temper tantrum that the neighborhood got sick of listening to.
Then he turns on the charm and opens the door, seemingly confused as to why the cops are at our door, trying to charm them/joke with them like he's such a nice guy. They give truly Oscar worthy performances when they know they are being found out.
-
What is Narcissistic
Gift Giving?
Gift-giving is a gesture used to express feelings of care, appreciation, or love towards someone.
However, what happens when this act gets entwined with manipulative intentions and why would someone use such a beautiful gesture for their benefit?
Here, we will understand - a murky corner of narcissistic relationships that is worth understanding for better self-care and personal growth.
https://www.judgeanthony.com/blog/what-is-narcissistic-gift-giving
-
Does a narcissist see how much you love them,
or are they in denial?
They see.
They are disgusted by it.
By the time they know they have you hook, line and sinker, all of the feelings they thought they had for you have gone…out with the tide.
There are two reasons for this. They know, you see, that they themselves are disgusting, depraved individuals, unworthy of love. Therefore once you fall in, they either think you are stupid, how could you possibly love them, especially now that you know them so well?
Surely you can see how ugly they are on the inside, how unworthy they are. Or they think you are lying. They don’t believe you and can never trust you, if you can lie to them and tell them you love them you can lie to them about anything. You are not to be trusted.
Either way you are disgusting now.
_____________________________________
A narcissist sees it all.
It's a matter if they care or not, which the short answer is NO, they can care less.
You can pour your heart out, crying uncontrollably, snot running from your nose to the point you are hyperventilating about to pass out and they will just look at you and not even ask if you are ok and still sit there and say:
"You don't love me. You are a drama queen and stop making a scene. This is about me, not you. Remember I'm the one that matters the most, not you. Let's stop this nonsense and focus on me and me only".
They are heartless, emotionless, and if you say or do the wrong thing, they are quick to move onto the next thing that is less drama etc etc.
My narcissist saw the love I had for him. I would have died for him but it wasn't good enough. I'm glad I woke up and smelled the coffee because to give a life for someone that isn't worth it was some crazy insane thinking and that is so not me.
https://www.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-see-how-much-you-love-them-or-are-they-in-denial
-
The narcissist wants you to set yourself on fire
in order to keep them warm.
They are that messed up.
Yes, The Narcissist Hates You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzwFk9LzU6A
@shalenb3321
4 years ago
If you listen close and able to not react, they are telling you everything they feel about themselves every single time they talk. You can find out how people feel about themselves in how they treat you.
-
Any explanations to the narcissist will fall
on deaf ears. It's a total waste of time.
Stop Defending Yourself
to The Narcissist!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWOXd_K4-Wk
@SilentFigure1
5 years ago
This is the one that is so important. If you can do this they lose their control over you. That is what they want control of... believe it or not, The Universe.
-
Arguing with a narc is like playing chess with a dove:
They will upset all the pieces, sh!t on the board and then strut around as if they won.
Why Narcissists Cannot Hear You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uglusQKxs-4
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“The way we treat the most innocent and voiceless in this
world is a true measure of who we are.”
Narcissists and Dehumanization
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1gZ-athtko
@phoenixrising8007
4 years ago (edited)
I feel like an object that my narc keeps on the shelf until he feel likes “toying" with me.
It’s so surreal and twisted.
-
We presently live in a very narc-based society.
We are surrounded by it on a daily basis.
Why The Self Aware Narcissist
on Social Media are the
Most Terrifying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcQGJKLlnMo
What do narcissists post
on social media?
Narcissists may exhibit certain behaviors on social media that reflect their personality traits, such as a need for attention, validation, and admiration. Here are some common characteristics of what narcissists may post on social media:
Self-centered posts: Narcissists often post excessively about themselves, their achievements, appearance, or possessions. They may constantly seek validation and admiration from others.
Grandiose posts: They may exaggerate their accomplishments, talents, or experiences to create a larger-than-life image of themselves.
Attention-seeking behavior: Narcissists may post provocative or controversial content to elicit a strong reaction from others and draw attention to themselves.
Lack of empathy: They may post insensitive or offensive comments without considering how it may affect others, as they prioritize their own needs and desires above all else.
Idealized self-presentation: Narcissists may carefully curate their online image to portray themselves in the best possible light, often showcasing a perfect or flawless version of themselves.
Comparing themselves to others: They may engage in frequent comparisons with others, either to highlight their superiority or to feel envious of others' achievements.
Seeking validation: Narcissists may constantly seek likes, comments, and shares on their posts as a way to validate their self-worth and boost their self-esteem.
Manipulative behavior: They may use social media to manipulate or control others, such as by posting misleading information or gaslighting tactics.
It's important to remember that not everyone who exhibits these behaviors on social media is necessarily a narcissist, as social media platforms can sometimes amplify certain aspects of a person's personality.
If you suspect that someone you know may have narcissistic traits, it's best to approach the situation with empathy and seek professional advice if needed.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-post-on-social-media
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You've been conditioned to believe it's okay for things
to not be okay with you as long as they are
okay for other people.
Protecting Yourself From
Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLx2z0LSTaM
@leslieb3720
5 years ago
Standout quote: "You've just been conditioned to believe...it's okay for things not to be okay for you as long as they're okay for other people. This is not the truth. Your feelings, needs, truths, and boundaries are just as important as everybody else's feelings, needs, truths, and boundaries."
@mistyvegas3726
5 years ago
I use to let hurtful comments slide. Big mistake. I don't do that anymore. I nip it in the bud now. Toxic ppl take advantage of our easy going nature. And before you know it, they're completely disrespecting you. The reality is that we have to be on guard to protect our boundaries.
@sarahjohnson8514
5 years ago
Yes! Red flags become deal breakers!
-
Narcs will forever be miserable and will never be truly
happy. These devils are so Insecure, Jealous, Envious and Paranoid.
Narcissistic Relationships:
You Can't Win
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BUg456PtI&t=12s
@hansonel
2 years ago
"Narcissists don't see others as individuals and are threatened by people asserting themselves as an individual." This is why narcissistic parents go haywire (more than usual) when their childern turn into teenagers since teens break away and naturally self individuate.
"Who do you think you are?" is a major red flag phrase that someone is toxic, controlling and doesn't see people as individuals- narcissist or whatnot.
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Narcissists get more toxic as they get older...
They’re truly the “grumpy old men”.
The Aging Narcissist...
What To Expect As They Get Older
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLMrjY-SYlc&t=108s
@Narcissiststalkerhackthisphone
3 years ago
Most aged narcissist have the same sneaky deceptive look in their faces..so easy to spot with one look.. Everyday consumed with how to bring you pain.. The horrible mentality shows outwardly in their faces.
-
:sinbin:
-
Will a narcissist discard you if
you stop showing them attention?
A narcissist needs to be in control.
If you go no contact which means you have taken control of the situation, you are leaving them powerless.
They cannot have that.
They will discard you, even though you are already gone.
Have you ever witnessed a boss and an employee in a struggle? The boss fires the employee who replies you can’t because I quit! It’s a tug of war with egos as the rope. That’s how it will be if you leave a narcissist. Just like any other situation that does not suit them, the narcissist will change the course of events until it meets their needs. Their egos will not allow them to be left.
When all is said and done, they will make sure they appear the victim, ensuring everyone understands the decisions were all theirs. You will be blamed for everything that has forced them to end it with you. The important thing for you is the end result. As long as you are free, let them tell whatever tale makes them feel better. Let them be the victim. You are the victor.
Not to mention, if you have cut ties, completely and permanently, then you will never know the lies they are spewing, nor will you care. You can finally live your life free of the suffocating suppression that crushed your spirit for way too long. Celebrate you! Dance, do cartwheels, laugh a lot and loud! Go live your life for you. You are now number one. Good for you! Be well.
____________________________________
They will discard you regardless. They will even discard you while giving them attention🙄.
And they will discard you if you stop giving them attention.
Here is how they minds work…when giving them attention they feel in control over you….and discard you feeling powerful and know its gonna make you want them more.
By not giving them attention they first go crazy cause they are confused…they feeling rejected and powerless over you and not in control. That they hate!! So by feeling rejected you have turned the table now and they will first hang on to you to gain control… ..and then all of a sudden discard you to gain control to get you back for not giving them the attention they believe you owe them.
So in a nutshell they discard for more then one reason…but mainly because of control.
To us it doesn't make sense..to them it does because they are crazy in their minds.
___________________________________-
What reason does a narcissist need to discard you:
None
Not one
No reason
Narcissists will always discard you, whether you give them all the attention, money, love in the world, or none.
They will conjure up their own reason for your discard, they don't need your help. The discard is an inevitable part of the cycle.
If you stop giving them attention, the discard will probably be set in motion. But who's to say that it's not already set in motion?
______________________________________
It depends on your energy. They can sense it.
If you have taken distance from them, if you have stopped calling them and responding to their contact attempts but are still wishing deep inside that things would work out between you one day, chances are they will still consider you a target on sleeping mode. You see, in this case, you are still trauma bonded to them, just taking a break.
If on the other hand, you have realised on a deep conscious level that they are not healthy for you and you have stopped being attracted to them, then they will walk away. They are very insecure, therefore, they are so afraid of your indifference, of your eventual rejection. It’s a bruise to their ego.
What I have noticed happening most of the time is when you leave the narcissist, they come back to test the waters. It maybe in a few months, even years. If you respond, even in a friendly manner, they will consider their game is still on and will try to seduce you only to dump you again. This can go on forever.
I read in another post that narcissists aren’t addicted to the other person. I disagree. They are as addicted as we have been, they are just more cunning into always securing supply so that they don’t run out of it.
The trauma bond works both ways. We were addicted to their validation, they were addicted to our admiration. We felt compelled to constantly pour in love and attention, with the fantasy that one day they will realise our value and respond.
They were addicted to this attention because they can’t function on their own either. They need us as much as we need them, to continue an unhealthy relationship that reinforces instead of resolving our core wounds.
Back to you question, it’s not enough to act with indifference. You have to level up, change your vibration. When you are able to see clearly how and why you attracted each other, why this wasn’t love but addiction, then you will really want nothing to do with them or anybody like them anymore.
Because they don’t vibe with you any longer. They are not charming in your eyes anymore. They are just toxic and destructive and you know you are worthy of a beautiful connection with love and respect. This is game over.
https://www.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-discard-you-if-you-stop-showing-them-attention
-
A narc would rather lose EVERYTHING than admit
or apologize to anyone.
This Is Two things narcissists do when they are jealous and
Angry At You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6_ZqwiCSMM
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The simple fact that you feel a thousand times better when they're not in your life is worth so much more than anything we could hope for in those relationships.
Peace has no price.
There Is No Hope With Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFQEJtWfdl0&t=118s
@Jovi_Wan_Shinobi
3 months ago
In the movie Blade, Blade says, “Some muthaf***as are always trying to ice-skate uphill”! That’s what it’s like trying to make a relationship work with a NARC!
-
It's our own humanity we project onto these people.
When you stop doing it you see what you're dealing with.Narcissists: The Big Con
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QoiwXwUnlE&t=163s
@IndigoRoses7
4 months ago
The part about them not being an actual adult is so true. When my narcissist would argue and fight, I noticed that I felt like I was arguing with a child or young teenager, and my ex was close to 30 years old.
They are severely mentally and emotionally stunted.
-
Pigs are brilliant. They’d probably string the pearls and make a nice profit. Don’t cast pearls before Narcissists -- they destroy everything in their paths.
Dealing With Narcissists: STOP Casting Pearls Before Swine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdqYe9vE7n0
@Narella_Haici_369
3 months ago
Indeed, L.S. One of the most important lessons we can learn from narcissistic people is that our love, attention, time, trust, loyalty, etc. are sacred gifts that should be guarded and fiercely protected, and should only be given to those who prove that they are worthy of safeguarding them.
-
Why the Silence of Sigma
Empaths Inflicts the Deepest
Humiliation and Anguish upon
Narcissists!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEDQm0j7sfE
-
Recycle. Rinse. Repeat of behaviours. Pretty sad they have
to involve other people in their crap in order to survive.
The Narcissist's New Partner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHjsLz9o3HU
@carolloraine223
5 years ago
Its comforting knowing ALL their
relationships will end the SAME way. I do feel sorry for those who get sucked into their lies, however, I'm just grateful it's no longer me.
-
:tello: "EDITOR'S PRODUCTION NOTE"
-
Part One:
-
Part Two
-
Part Three
-
Part Four
-
:tello: "I haven't forgotten about this one. Maybe later........"
:smee!: Maybe never........
-
The Guy That Changes
the President's Diapers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6xfSwsohMI
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Anybody else had enough internet for today?
@MarkTurner-vs7uc
12 hours ago
Our country is a freak show
@groc279
14 hours ago
This dude is always in the standing dump position. What a joke. What's more of a joke is the ppl voting for him.
@liberty-matrix
14 hours ago
The White House is now the most expensive nursing home in America.
@Freddie7191
15 hours ago
It's appalling that the Biden administration couldn't find someone more diverse to fill this pivotal role. This is clearly just another example of wipe privilege.
-
They pretend to love you only when things are going their way.
Why Narcissists Hate and Love You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm84SIws3FU
-
What does a narcissist not
want you to have?
A narcissist doesn't want you to:
Have enough self-respect to stop chasing them after they reject you.
Believe in yourself and have confidence that you can find a better partner than them.
Be capable of living a peaceful life without them.
Have the courage to say no to their emotional and physical abuse.
Maintain self-esteem so that you don't tolerate their continuous cheating, lies, and manipulations.
Use common sense to see through their fake facade, drama, seduction, and love bombing.
Love yourself enough to take care of your needs instead of prioritizing the narcissist's needs, even when it means pushing yourself too far and not recognizing when to say "no" to the narcissist.
Remember, narcissists don't see you as a true partner. They view you as a perfect accessory, the glue to hold them together, a soft place to fall, a servant, a reflection of their supposed greatness, or whatever else they are looking for at that moment.
______________________________________
A narcissist does not want you to be happy.
A narcissist doesn't want you to be more successful than them.
They don't like for you to be more intelligent than them.
The narcissist doesn't like for people to say nice things about you.
You can not be more attractive than them.
They have to be the center of attention.
You can never be better than them in anything.
I spent 32 years of my life feeling like the ugliest girl in the world. I was always second guessing myself because he gaslighted me so much I didn't know what was real or was it a lie.
He made me hate so many things because I associated those things with him. I was never happy because somehow he would find away to ruin the moment. I just couldn't be better than him never.
A narcissist is like having your own personal devil by your side. The sad part is that they will never be happy for you. They will never see all the chaos they caused. I hope my answer is helpful. God bless.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-not-want-you-to-have
-
Who or what makes a person
become a narcissist?
Beneath the layers of false self, at the core of the Narcissist, is a hurt and stunted child.
Something in childhood fractured this person’s psyche and wounded them emotionally to the extent that they hid themselves away and started to build then fortify layers of protection around it.
The layers are lies and embellishments, all designed to make the N appear more impressive than they are. The stunted child inside the N pilots them as a child would, moving them toward fulfilling appetites and indulging in self-interest.
He did not learn to share his toys.
He did not learn to care about other children's’ feelings.
He will not seek out real friends, but people to be impressed to make him feel better because he once felt so bad about himself, and because he never learned to connect to another person emotionally.
Ego food and distractions keep him distracted and deluded, attention away from the hurt child.
On a side note, sometimes a highly empathetic individual may sense the hurt child inside the N and want to heal their pain. The N will see this as an affront to their very being because how dare you even see the part they hid away, the vulnerable, the flawed, the weak. “How dare you perceive me as that.”
They will hate you for truly loving the real them, because it reveals that which sickens them to reveal. They will not heal the fractured part of the psyche, because it brings the child into the light, out of the secret dungeon the N has him trapped in.
“I’m not flawed, that's impossible, I’m so amazing that I’m even perfect, and therefore better than anyone who could dare threaten to tell me otherwise. So, their opinions don’t even count. Haha.”
*I’m a highly empathetic person who has loved a few Narcissists; they are drawn to me, and me them. I spent years researching Narcissism in order to understand this problem, and to understand what they did to me.
____________________________________
A broken baby looking for a unicorn is the best way to describe it.
A narcissist is a broken baby.
When a narcissist was an infant he did not form a healthy and secure attachment to a primary caregiver within the first 18 months of life. That was the formative period for all his feelings of attachment to develop.
Because he did not consistently get all his basic needs met he gained a distrust for the world. He did not gain the ability to feel love, empathy, sympathy, or any other attachment feelings. He simply can never securely attach to another human being ever again.
He suffers from a lack of self and he suffers from a tragically low self esteem. He has the lowest self esteem humanly possible. It’s human nature not to show the world your biggest flaws. So he secretly and carefully hides behind a mask of super confidence.
A narcissist also needs two things in life, adoration and power. When he is adored or in power his self esteem can slide to the positive end of the spectrum. If you criticize a narcissist his self esteem goes into the negative zone and he must lash out and hurt you. Once he successfully punishes you for hurting him, he feels powerful and his self esteem can return to the positive end of the spectrum. His entire life is spent carefully balancing his self esteem.
He cheats because he is searching for the unicorn. The one magical person who can fill his mommy void. Since no one can ever go back in time and hold that neglected infant he has to spend his entire life looking for that unicorn.
A narcissist is a neglected baby searching for his mother void, the saddest individual to walk this earth.
_______________________________________
A person usually becomes a narcissist as a result of trauma, abuse or constant disruption of life during childhood years. It is one…of the outcomes of having a narcissistic parent. However, I do not believe most children of narcissists become like that themselves.
How do you know if you are one? It is not just about being selfish or self absorbed at times. We all are and often recognise it and work to counteract it.
Being a narcissist is:
Living a sheer hell.
Not being able to escape the dark inner voice which rants..”“You deserve nothing, you are worthless, you will never be any good…”
And so it goes on.
It is a deep seated inner shame which destroys just about everything and everyone.
You find you tell endless lies to cover up your inadequacies. Your whole life becomes a lie which helps to give ground for the shame you feel.
You can never trust anyone.
You wrongly think that everyone is just like you…you know that you can’t be trusted..so neither can they.
People often brush you aside quickly. Those who get to know you and understand your condition often genuinely come to love you. You tend to take them for granted. You do not believe anyone could possibly truly have love for you because it is so ingrained that ““You are unlovable, everyone hates you” so you distrust them for this as well.
When they accidentally say something that didn’t come out quite right, this reinforces your distrust, you may go into a rage or quietly and angrily plot to cause them hurt.
You believe that you are always right, things that go wrong are someone else’s fault. You won’t be held accountable and cannot learn from the past. Hence you go on from mistake to mistake which often gets bigger as time progresses.
Emotionally you are always on the move with high ups and low downs and others choose not to ride this roller coaster with you. Yes, they did love you but they have to distance themselves for their own self protection.
You have to control situations otherwise you do not feel safe.
If the above closely fits your life experience, then it means that you may be narcissistic. If your life is such a tragedy as this, then you could do with help. Most people who suspect that they are narcissists are in fact not that at all. It is because they have previously always looked to themselves to admit blame in the hope that they can fix a situation.
Children of narcissists often readily take blame, even when it is very clear to others that they are NOT to blame. Having a life which out-works the above is far from ‘normal’ and does not reflect the life experiences of 98% + of people.
https://www.quora.com/Who-or-what-makes-a-person-become-a-narcissist
-
What scares a narcissist and
makes them back off?
1. Shame
Shame is unpleasant for everyone but for the narcissist, it’s absolutely horrifying. The main reason is that shame could negatively impact his reputation and give him a lower status in his social circle.
Since narcissists live for being admired and their pride is of great importance doing something that could make the narcissist look bad in the eyes of others or make them feel ashamed is one of the most dreaded experiences for them.
2. Rejection
The narcissist usually puts on a mask so that they can be accepted and liked by others. They wouldn’t admit that anyone could be put off by their egotistic character.
If a person decides to leave the narcissist’s life, the latter will take it personally and will surely try to bring the other person back.
However, if they don’t succeed they’ll probably start slandering about their former friend.
The reason for such a behavior is that behind the narcissist’s fake attitude lies a frightened, little soul who is terrified that they aren’t good enough, but they would never say it openly. They’ll be likely to do whatever it takes to keep their reputation.
3. Failure
Narcissists fear failure or being outshined. They just can’t accept there’s someone out there who’s better than them. On top of that, if a narcissist can’t achieve their goal, they will always blame someone else about it, even if it is obvious that it’s entirely their fault.
They usually blame their closest people to have hindered them from succeeding. This is actually the only way to feel a bit better about their failure.
4. Getting Called Out on Their Lies
Narcissists are famous for lying or exaggerating certain things to make themselves appear more important or impressive. They also do this to make themselves feel better about their own standing in society.
So it’s only logical that one of a narcissists’ greatest fears is having those lies and exaggerations exposed. It’s not just that getting called out would bring them shame, or show them as less than what they are – it’s the fact that it reveals to the world how weak and insecure they really are.
It brings their whole fake world crashing down around them, and as already stated, narcissists think the world revolves around them. And while they are spinning their lies and exaggerations about their own accomplishments, part of them knows deep down that they’re stretching the truth. And from the minute they start telling these lies, they become incredibly paranoid about the fact that someone might one day uncover them.
5. Feeling Remorse
Another key characteristic of narcissism is the inability to feel remorse. It’s not just that they can’t feel remorse, it’s that they actively refuse to show remorse. This fierce rejection of the very notion of feeling bad about hurting others is indicative of very deep fear.
It’s a total denial of remorse. And why do they fear remorse so much? It’s simple. To them, remorse is a characteristic of weakness. Remorse, to them, shows vulnerability and emotional frailty. And to feel remorse is to open yourself up to that weakness.
Remorse is also in its basest form the acceptance that you have made a mistake. And for proud and haughty individuals such as narcissists, this can be unthinkable. More than that – it can be a major source of fear. Remorse is also a way of apologizing, and this is also unthinkable for self-aggrandizing people with narcissistic traits.
6. Feeling Gratitude
Another feeling that narcissists reject and fear is gratitude. Gratitude, like remorse, is another emotion that is perceived as a sign of weakness by people who are narcissistic. To the narcissist, gratitude is in a sense giving other people power over yourself.
It’s the acceptance that you owe something to someone. It also forces you to come to terms with the fact that you might have needed someone else’s help. To narcissistic people, they think of themselves as these all-powerful beings that rise far above others in superiority.
The acceptance that someone else did something valuable for them brings them crashing back down to earth. The notion that someone else gave them something they needed not only puts them on the same level as others, it also makes them feel like they’re weaker, or lower down on the social ladder. And this is one of the narcissistic man’s greatest fears.
7. Public Humiliation
When a narcissist feels that he’s losing face or failing at something in front of an audience, it creates a lot of psychological distress and cognitive dissonance. Narcissists are unable to tolerate failure of any sort and public humiliation is considered the worst type of failure that could happen.
A narcissist’s ego is an extremely fragile thing and when he feels he is being laughed at or is losing the respect of others, it can be tremendously upsetting. The narcissist’s ego is the only protection they have from the world and when their ego integrity is breached, narcissists often respond in ways that seem markedly out of proportion to the circumstances for average people.
Unfortunately, the ego of a narcissist is already so inflated that they never focus on self-growth when in relationships. Their own self-assessment of their worth and value confirm to them that they are already significantly evolved and accomplished.
They are unable to fathom why a partner may be disappointed in their behavior or in the relationship. By being so out-of-touch with the realities of relationships, their reaction to the dissatisfaction of their partners is driven by fear.
8. Abandonment and rejection.
Narcissists are afraid of being rejected or abandoned. That’s why they fly into rages and punish and threaten you if you threaten to leave them, and love bomb you if you do manage to get away.
To reject a narcissist means you are rejecting the false self they have so carefully constructed to impress you. To reject that false self negates their entire reason for existing since whatever true self they may have left is completely inaccessible to them and the false self cannot survive on its own; it’s completely dependent on the approval and attention of others, who it feeds from like a vampire.
When you reject a narcissist they are forced to confront their own emptiness and nothing scares them more than that. They will fight tooth and nail to avoid it, even if it means they have to destroy you in the process.
9. Being ignored.
This is a no-brainer. Ignoring a narcissist means giving them no supply at all, and without narcissistic supply, the narcissist dies a slow death. Or believes they will.
That’s why some narcissists would even rather being hated to being ignored. Negative attention is still attention, and at least it provides an acknowledgment that they still exist.
When you ignore a narcissist, it’s as frightening to them as being killed. They’re no longer confident they exist without your attention.
10. Exposure.
Exposing a narcissist and their false lives cause deep anger in them. Their anger might be expressed in rage or in more covert means such as the silent treatment or gaslighting you. They don’t like to be held accountable for the things they do to others, because that means they have to admit they are less than perfect.
It also means they have to acknowledge the humanity of someone else, which they aren’t capable of doing. Narcissists are all too aware of their imperfections, but only at the subconscious level, and the way they handle this is to project their own imperfections onto you.
So a narcissist might tell you that YOU are the narcissistic one, or that YOU are the abuser. They’re also good at getting others to side against you, and those people become their flying monkeys. They will accuse you of doing things that they themselves have done and everyone believes them and not you.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/What-scares-a-narcissist-and-makes-them-back-off
-
What is something only a narcissist would do?
Only a narcissist will take the love you have for them, and use that love to destroy you. The love you have for a narcissist will be the weapon the narcissist destroys you with.
Only a narcissist can rob you of who you are. Everything that made you the person you are, will be gone. A huge void, a nothingness will fill your soul. They are so cunning that they have made you blind. You’ll never notice their destruction until they walk out one you. And even then, the pain you feel is so intense that it hides all the wounds.
You don’t know what happened to you. You will lay in pain for weeks, months or longer before your capable of thought. Then you realize that you are not the person you once were. You’re not anyone. You’re nothing but a shell of who you were. You’re merely skin and bones.
Only a narcissist would be able to cause this much destruction to someone and proudly move on to the next victim, convincing them that they have finally found their soulmate, only to rob them of their soul.
The narcissist is the closest example of a false prophet. With lies, manipulation, and deceit, they trick you into their life with the promise of love. Just like we’re taught of how Satan will steal your soul, so does the narcissist.
Not until I met a narcissist, I’d never knew there was a person who would live behind a mask, pretending to be someone they aren’t, bringing others into their fake world, only to destroy the person because they love them. They repeat this life of lies, deceit, and destruction over and over again until death. Not able or willing to see how truly evil they are.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-something-that-only-a-narcissist-knows
-
What are some facts about narcissists that only people who have interacted with them know?
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-facts-about-narcissists-that-only-people-who-have-interacted-with-them-know
-
Trying not to piss off someone who is desperately
trying to be pissed off.
Narcissists Make Problems
Out of Nothing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw4CzNuJSiE
@robbyluvadooz
3 years ago
Narcissists also do mean things like: Taking your personal things without asking, or ruining your food or invading your privacy, just to try to get a reaction from you. There's no problem until they make one. And then, when you react, they act like they have no idea what your talking about. They are always trying to find anything that will cause negativity. And the sick part is that they actually exude satisfaction when they get a "rise" out of you.
-
Why Narcissists Create Enemies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ngevCaH-Xw
@Junokaii
3 years ago
The sickest part is they treat those who are closest to them the worst.. yet strangers who COULD be their newest friend is treated with the "utmost respect".
@JC-ww2so
3 years ago
Rather than acknowledging their flaws, they will make you the worst person in the world. That's much easier than self-reflecting.
@t.l.7733
3 years ago
Engaging with a narcissist is like trying to pet a rattlesnake..no matter how you approach, they'll strike at you.
@mikebell2750
3 years ago
When they lose control over you, then you become the enemy.
-
The things they accuse you of will shock you.
Narcissism: Unstable Emotions, Unstable Reality
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQVbN2WkCMs
-
They don't just exist in a vacuum, they ARE absolute vacuum.
Narcissists Exist In A Vacuum
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOz9ml8ttuI
-
It's sounds crazy but it's so true. When the fantasy ends,
so does the fake relationship.
Narcissists Are A Fairy Tale
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CaCJy9DobY
-
What happens when a narcissist knows you know who they are?
This is a very dangerous time for a victim.
Many narcissists do not know they are a narcissist.
But some higher on the spectrum are very aware you are onto them.
And what this does is it activates shame in the narcissist.
And they cannot have this happen.
They want you to be understanding of their outrageous behavior (they don't think it's outrageous, they think it's wise and that they know everything) and be in complete control of you.
When you start to understand what they're doing and don't react how you used to they will start to up the abuse, many will go into an absolute rage.
Because you're activating a shame response in them that they cannot bare.
They're constantly looking around to see if there's any threats to their absolute control over you.
This is why they want to see all of your messages and lurk on your social media.
When you start to relax more, start to joke with them more and grey rock them instead of emotionally overreact to things that they say they start to get nervous because they are starting to feel out of control.
Remember: narcissists have an external locus of control. They have to make you feel out of control in order for them to feel in control.
When you stop reacting to them trying to trigger you or don't answer their texts or emails immediately this is when you will notice shifts with them as well.
I've seen this happen multiple times in my life because I've disconnected from many cluster B individuals.
Some just cannot stand to be around you anymore and will discard you and move on.
If you try to get in touch with them they don't want anything to do with you because your very existence brings out in them the feeling of not being perfect..
Some will love bomb you, and then have intermittent reinforcement with abuse and love bombing to try and bring you back into their web of lies.
They then want to destroy you..they want you to not exist.
It is best at this stage when you realize that they know that you know is to get out of the relationship permanently.
This is a very serious and dangerous time for a person in these relationships.
It's better to get out before this period if you can.
This is when some higher spectrum narcissists will actually kill their partners.
Because they start to feel a sense of being completely out of control.
And they absolutely cannot feel this way...
Make no mistake about it when you understand what's going on you need to get out as soon as possible.
DO NOT LET THEM KNOW YOU KNOW
Do not try and communicate with them.
Any kind of trying to communicate with them will be seen as an absolute threat to their existence and they will destroy you..
Make plans and get out when they are not around.
DO NOT tell them you are leaving.
Escape and go complete No Contact
_________________________________
Ok.
And this will be rough.
Hell yes they will know because you will tell them. To their face. Often. And harsh.
Many speak of the narc rage , and say ow no, u must not let them know or they will humiliate u to ppl, or stalk u, or hurt u.
Please child !!
You get real up close to it, you inform the nutjob just how its going to be in every area, and you continue with ur life.
Dont ever be intimidated.
Dont fear.
You twist the fool every time he/she wants to give it a go. Dominion. Authority. Thats the attitude to take if you really, really want it taken care of.
That person will sense just how serious you really really are and run from you.
You will see !
___________________________________
I just told my narcissistic husband that I have been studying him for years (and I have) and I told him that I am onto him and he said that I don't know anything.. But here is the reality of it. Once a narcissist knows that you know who and what they are, sh!t turns very bad very quick!! RUN!!
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-a-narcissist-knows-you-know-who-they-are
-
Sometimes.......
-
No weapon formed against me shall prosper.
The Devil Plots With The Narcissist to
Destroy You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XZt1rjDdWM
-
Hands down, they are their own worst enemy. No need for karma to do anything. They do it to themselves.
This Is How Painful Karma Unfolds in the Life of a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uszM5cjJ1cE
-
The Real Battle With Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgPauxl6VYc
@HeliumXenonKrypton
2 years ago
This is exactly correct. If you allow this relationship to continue, it can only end badly. They are so desperate to abuse your emotions that they will literally kill themselves very slowly right in front of your eyes in an attempt to manipulate your feelings. I've seen this happen more than once, it is not pleasant. It is very unhealthy to give it an audience. If you are seeing these things, it's time to run.
-
This Is What a narcissist wants you to do after destroying you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDpYGEnh8_U
-
15 Movies About Narcissists
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/movies-about-narcissists/
-
Why Narcissists Use People: Narcissistic Relationships Are Transactional
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m83qXdO9DCQ
-
Producing healthy people and saving the planet are the two most important things WE humans must achieve if we're going to survive.
How Narcissists Are Created
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p0zYlJjnrM
-
They think they are immune to their OWN KARMA.
Putting narcissists in their
place by using cruel and painful methods
that hurt them
:walkplank:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZR2CDaCw1Y
-
Do you think that understanding narcissism
is somehow a conspiracy theory?
We are living in an age where so much information is readily available to us and we are also able to live independently from the tribe if need be.
This is no coincidence. These freedoms afford us the space to see and respond differently. We are emerging out of a long and dark age of ignorance and expanding our awareness as a collective.
With so much information about narcissism at our fingertips we are able to awaken to and therefore transcend so much suffering and confusion.
While it’s essential to be aware of the fact that many people are not capable of love and respect, living in fear and paranoia is not an effective response. This means one is still giving their energy to perceived threats and would do well to learn to stand in their power. Oftentimes standing in your power means gracefully walking away.
I find it helpful to imagine meeting new people like a game of Tetris. A shape enters the field of awareness and I take my time to see where it fits, without fear or self-judgement.
As someone who has observed narcissists meticulously for my entire life, I have learned…
Sometimes they know they are doing it and sometimes they don’t.
Some are born that way and some are shaped by trauma. Trauma may be a contributing factor but it does not excuse abusive behavior.
Some are overt and some are covert.
The mind exhausts itself trying to make sense of the senseless.
The most important thing you need to know about narcissists is that absolutely everything they do and say is a manifestation of chaos and confusion. They are a part of reality that you can choose to engage with, or not. Your choices determine your quality of life.
Learning about narcissism is like finding a map that shows you the way out of the Labyrinth.
Conspiracy theories are like a map that leads you deeper and deeper into the Labyrinth.
And what lies beyond the Labyrinth….?
_______________________________________
People today incorrectly & highly overuse the term narcissistic…
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, someone who is truly suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, then you will know without the shadow of a doubt. You will be able to tick all the boxes, on all the lists, of all the websites that you ever come across regarding narcissistic traits.
What you won't be able to do, however, is articulate, explain, demonstrate, or or even draw out to anyone who will listen just exactly how you're being mentally abused, because gaslighting comes as part of the package, but you will know you're being abused & you will know you're living with a narcissist (and at times you'll question whether it's actually you who is the narcissist- it's not! I promise —it's not).
https://www.quora.com/Do-you-think-that-understanding-narcissism-is-somehow-conspiracy-theory-Some-are-so-paranoid-about-everyone-is-using-them-How-can-we-determine-if-this-person-is-just-intentionally-doing-it-May-be-they-are-just-toxic
-
"Does it make you feel better to put me down?"
5 Sure Fire 🔥 Phrases that Will
Destroy a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ25V21lD_Y
-
You can't reason with an unreasonable person, period.
Successful Communication with Narcissistic People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU2H-2V6i6Q
***************************
You can't reason with a narcissist.
Why is it so Hard to Talk
to a Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WFJ-TQY_-w&t=85s
-
They believe their own lies.
3 Ways a Narcissist
Tells On Themself
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdvBtGTPU6M
-
Always remember they want you to be very afraid, they want you to be angry, they want you to argue. Argument and anger feeds their narcissistic needs from you.
8 Ways To Outsmart
The Controlling Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAW1NS2Sspw
@ABCD-rf9hg
3 years ago
Everything you say to a Narcissist triggers them....their anger is off the charts, their anger can go from 0 to 1000 in the blink of an eye.
-
How do narcissists gaslight?
Here are 4 ways a narcissist will gaslight you:
1. Using social proof against you.
One of the first things the narcissist will do is appeal to the people that you know and trust, get them on their good side by putting on a show, acting kind, sweet, sensitive, and making others believe that they have good intentions and would never be capable of doing any harm. Over time, they start asking your trusted friends and family in a very genuine, very concerned tone if they've noticed anything odd about you. Nothing specific, just planting a seed at first.
As the narcissist's behavior worsens towards you, they start watering those seeds by secretly voicing their concerns to your loved ones, maybe about your memory, your mental state, maybe it's about your bad behavior.
They will try to get anyone you might be inclined to rely on for support, and they will taint their opinion of you while painting themselves in a very good light.
2. Messing with your memory.
The narcissist will deny or scoff at your recollection of events, and this happens constantly. They will add, stretch, delete sections, or rewrite the whole event. The narcissist loves to mess with your memory, so beware if you notice that they are frequently disputing your memory of what happened or trying to convince you of things that you know never happened or at least never happened in the way that they're presenting.
Other examples of ways that they mess with your memory is by hiding things on you and then putting them back in their place after you search for hours, then trying to convince you that they were there all along. It can be leaving things out for you to notice, then removing them and saying they were never there, or accusing you of moving them.
They may accuse you of other things that you know you didn't say or do. So it gets to the point where you feel like you need to start taking photos or recording your conversations or making notes of things that happened.
3. Invalidating your perceptions and interpretations.
The real key to gaslighting is keeping you in a constant state of confusion. So the narcissist is constantly planting seeds of doubt in your mind about how you are perceiving and interpreting things. Wrong about your decisions, no matter how small. They're planting seeds of doubt about even how you feel or what you believe. They are constantly trying to make you feel uncertain or just plain wrong, no matter which way you perceive or interpret something.
They will always have an alternate explanation or ways to add an element of doubt in your mind. The goals of gaslighting are to keep you so focused on your problematic, defective, unreliable mental state that you don't ever see the defective self that they are trying to conceal. Gaslighting starts out very subtly and in ways that mimic normal interactions, but they have sinister intentions.
And that is to slowly change your internal reality, to take control of your ability to think for yourself, to make decisions, to trust your own mind and memories until you get to the point where you have to rely on them to interpret reality for you. And this makes you super easy to control and manipulate.
4. Shame dumping.
And I feel like this is the worst tactic. Although narcissists do not feel guilt, which is feeling bad about something they did, they are deeply tormented by shame, which is feeling bad about who they are. They project and externalize their shame and self-loathing onto you and other people that are closest to them.
And they condition you to carry their shame by making you believe that you are broken, flawed, unfixable, unlovable, and that you are the problem. And they do this by getting you to confide those things you feel shameful about. They get you to share your deepest, darkest secrets, whatever makes you feel insecure, defective, unworthy. And then they subtly amplify and leverage your existing shame while planting extra seeds of shame for insurance, suggesting things you should feel ashamed of or getting you to do things that are incongruent with your values to prove your loyalty to them and then using that against you by installing these additional backup shame buttons for even more insurance and more leverage.
_______________________________________--
If this technique is used then you know exactly how to respond.
You don't..let it go
Gaslighting is denying your reality.
Or say: “I see".
Or look at them and say nothing and shrug your shoulders.
Do not get angry or try and get them to see your point of view because they will use you wanting to work things out against you.
Tell them nothing of what you know is true.
Because they will twist it around and make themselves look like the victim.
They will deny everything of what they said or did.
The last time this happened to me was in an intimate relationship.
After it happened I got my things and told her that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her ever again and I walked out of her life forever.
You must have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior.
Gaslighting is the hallmark of someone who is a high spectrum manipulator.
You should have absolutely nothing to do with a person like this.
If you can get away from this person I think that is the best way to deal with this kind of person.
Unfortunately you are going to run into this in other places where it won't be as easy to leave right away.
Do not respond with any emotion.
Do not get into any conversation with them because they will rope you into an argument and make you look like the bad person.
Stop talking and go do something else.
When you come back do not ever bring it up again.
If you do they will use it against you I can guarantee that..
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-gaslight
-
:spaninquis:
-
In the end what will
become of a narcissist?
Narcissists are incapable of bonding, because they cannot love, their future will be full of betraying others.
Narcissists cannot introspect or self-reflect, they cannot truly grow, truly learn, or truly understand, in a sense, they will always stay the same.
Narcissists lack a conscience, they cannot regret what they have done to others, they remain unrepentant, for those who hold the narcissist accountable, there cannot be reconciliation, which means less and less potential victims as time goes by.
Narcissists must degrade others, they must always find fresh prey, if they cannot find fresh prey, their self-esteem plummets and they will experience mood problems, over time, age, the decline of beauty, or loss of wealth, and most importantly less and less people willing to put up with a relationship of abuse means this is a looming threat.
Narcissists are incapable of healing, because they cannot love, they are stuck with open sores for the rest of their lives.
Narcissists cannot live in truth, as time passes, their minds, already made of lies, grows and grows in lies, becoming a bigger and bigger lump of cancerous lies, they become even more delusional, their ‘explanations’ and justifications for things become even more bizarre with age.
Narcissists cannot truly care, they will ruin everything around them, for some narcissists, the ruin eventually catches up to them, nobody around who likes them anymore (including children), no assets, a dilapidated home, ruined health.
Narcissists have very impaired emotional memories, they manage to ‘live happy lives’ into their old age despite making a lot of people resent them, so you may find some ‘happy’ aged narcissists.
Because narcissists continually suffer from such a heavy load of toxic negative emotions, some narcissists eventually suffer ruined health from the mind-body link.
Narcissists tend to become even more passive aggressive, psychotic, delusional, disingenuous, dishonest, cruel, callous with age, and also even better at gaslighting and getting away with abuse, except for the possibility that there may be no one around left to abuse.
Narcissists have a continual need for self-exaltation because self-exaltation is how they attempt to regulate their malfunctioning and unstably fluctuating self-esteem, if they enter a stage in life where nobody sticks around to allow them to use for self-exaltation, the narcissist will suffer mood dysregulation, including depression, anxiety, etc.
Narcissists can have rotten self-inflicted lives in old age and yet still appear ‘happy’ as testimony to the great power of their disconnection and short-circuitness. They can somehow experience negative emotions continually, suffer ruined health from the toxic emotional load, complain continually, yet declare they are happy and act happy, go figure.
There is no such thing as a merry narcissist. An inalienable aspect of narcissism is ruin-seeking. Narcissist worship ruin. Everything they do to others, everything they do to themselves will ultimately result in ruin.
That’s what ruin worship means. A person who worships ruin will simply ultimately get ruin in their lives.
Everything of a narcissist is eventually ruined. Flee their presence before you share in their ruin.
https://www.quora.com/In-the-end-what-will-become-of-a-narcissist
***************************
What's done in the dark will ALWAYS
be brought into the Light.
How Will It End For
The Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO8NhkkRBV8
-
That's what damages narcs the most. All the projections, hatred, self-hatred, and envy originate from their complete inability to acknowledge and connect to The Shadow Self.
Narcissists and
The Shadow Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0BOxImcxXs
-
@ronaldculley: "They believe they're human waste".
Yeah, I'm convinced of that!
Narcissists Fear Rejection
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE42F84elYU
-
When trust is broken......there's no turning back.
When You Push Sigma
Empaths Too Far
This Will Happen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7LEu78SG4M
-
How do covert narcissists
expose themselves in the end?
Narcissists have a broken brain that goes around in circles, from charm to abuse to charm to abuse. If you buy the charm, you will get the abuse.
This is how the covert narcissist exposes themselves — you buy the charm, and sure enough, like clockwork they will abuse you.
The narcissist goes around and around like this as part of their survival cycle — they generally have to charm people before they abuse them, and they can generally only abuse people who they can charm.
Charm, abuse, charm, abuse, the narcissist runs on rails with their broken brain as the engine. On into the night — charm, abuse, charm, abuse. It is like how day follows night, the out breath follows the in breath, or the seasons follow one another; the narcissist too is an autonomic.
Fall for the charm and the covert narcissist will expose themselves with abuse.
__________________________________
They expose themselves from day one.
When I see their behaviors now I absolutely cringe.
When you actually see a narcissist for who they truly are, and you have worked on yourself where you don't dismiss the obvious, they're easier to spot than the device you're reading this on right now.
With my ex it was the fact I told her she was gaslighting me and she did the exact same thing again right in front of me expecting that I would claim it was my fault (like I always did before).
After that incident I couldn't stop seeing the patterns in behavior in other covert narcissists as they are all the same.
It was like I graduated Narc University and was at the top of my class from now on….
__________________________________
In the end, the narcissist tells on themselves. That’s right, they will confess! Your challenging task is to believe them because the truth will blow your mind.
By the time you get to this point, they are emboldened.
They will unleash mighty projections. Everything they say will be confusing because it’s not about you at all. You don’t exist. You're the false mirror. In you, they’ll see everything they must and everything they can’t. They want to break you and you’ll feel that. How you’ll feel it will depend on their particular sadistic pleasures.
For some, it’s out right verbal or physical brutality. Others, it’s persistent little insults to whatever you hold dearest. A favorite of many, if they have the power to do it, is to put you back where you started. Invalidate every effort and all your work, in personal and/or professional matters. Make you feel like you NEVER existed and often sorry you do.
The point is to be able to make you feel because they can’t. It confirms their belief that being able to do so is a weakness so they don’t have to face the strength in emotions they lack. They will shut yours down, on the way out if that’s what it takes, so that intelligence isn’t useful against them. This is why many victims become hypervigilant with their empathy, or codependence.
The consistent factors are the confession, projection and revenge. But, by the time you see these, you’ve been deeply harmed. I’m sorry for your loss!
***Share, expand upon, do not reproduce***
:tello: "Sorry dude, I publish as an American Outlaw, not as an MSNBS Democrat Hack."
https://www.quora.com/How-do-covert-narcissists-expose-themselves-in-the-end
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:tello:
FAFO. All is fair in life with a f*cking NARC WAR !
Ron Tello Culley
I'm not having a bad day. She is, and thought it's OK to unload her sh!t on me...AGAIN!!!!
This is not defamation, doxxing or slander. This is Truth, and I got it all on tape for The Judge, The Jury and The Warden.
Photo is Public Domain, so f*ck you b!tch. LOL
https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=10162039488067160&set=a.411180822159
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@ronaldculley
Today, 6/17/24 my narc tested me...and FLUNKED
Narcissists Keep Testing You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cs3lGKqp7l4
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@jenniferfarrell1937
My Mother actually says when you disagree
with me you're disagreeing with God.
Religious Narcissists
Religion has become very divisive...totally misses the point of Jesus and his Teachings of Love and Compassion! Religion is used to control others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBTwD5Nmyzg
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When we understand narcissism it is too late.
How to Stop Hating
The Narcissist In Your Life
And Move On
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFVng3wj7vI
@ronaldculley
No sympathy for those devils.
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:tazdev:
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What are 30 facts in a
narcissistic home?
Part One
1. You would rather be away from home than be there.
2. When you're going home, you feel nervous like something bad might happen.
3. When you're at home, you feel really watchful and on edge.
4. When you're at home, you feel anxious.
5. You always feel like you have to be careful or else something bad will happen.
6. You forget what it's like to have peace and harmony.
7. Everyone who lives in the house has psychological issues, like feeling sad, worried, or even thinking about hurting themselves...
8. People in the house often have strange physical problems, like mysterious rashes or chest pains.
9. People in the house have scary dreams that happen again and again.
10. Sometimes people in the house feel like there are evil spirits there.
11. When guests come over, the narcissistic person behaves really well.
12. Visitors usually think the narcissistic person is great.
13. But if a visitor spends a lot of time at your house, they start to see the real side of the narcissistic person.
14. Nobody in the house matters except the narcissistic person.
15. People plan their day around avoiding the narcissistic person at home, even if they don't realize they're doing it.
-
What are 30 facts in a
narcissistic home?
Part Two
16. The narcissistic person only talks about themselves.
17. The narcissistic person only cares about how the people at home can do things for them.
18. The narcissistic person always wants to know where you are and what you're doing.
19. The narcissistic person wants you to do things for them right away, like give them the remote or fix the computer. They don't have patience.
20. The narcissistic person never admits they're wrong.
21. When something goes wrong, the narcissistic person blames other people in the house.
22. The narcissistic person yells a lot.
23. The narcissistic person gets really angry and shows their true self often.
24. The narcissistic person always puts you down, but sometimes acts nice to make up for it. It's really messed up.
25. If there's only one TV, the narcissistic person decides what to watch.
26. The narcissistic person is very selfish and doesn't think about other people's feelings.
27. When there's an important event like a birthday or graduation, they do something to make you feel bad and ruin it.
28. You feel like you don't matter.
29. You learn to accept that you don't matter.
30. If you haven't lost your sanity, you're lucky.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-30-facts-in-a-narcissistic-home
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What Are 30 More Facts In A
Narcissistic Home?
Part One
1. Everyone, except the narc, will walk on eggshells every moment of everyday to avoid getting into outburst mode.
2. Every birthday party, holiday or celebration will be ruined either before you leave to go or on the way there because it’s not about them and your putting your attention elsewhere and they can’t have that….so you’ll be screamed at or shamed in someway for paying any attention to someone else’s happiness.
3.They will feed off your pain, embarrassment, tears. You’ll look at them with your eyes begging them to understand and show compassion or empathy just something …but they won’t. You can see it in their eyes…they don’t care and it empowers them. They get this smug superior look but that’s all it is…and it will feel like a dagger in your heart every time.
4.You’ll want them out of the house and away from you but you’ll crave them when they are gone. While they are home you don’t wanna be near them but their presence is the house comforts you in some sick way. You’ll be hiding in your room while they are in another room awake just existing in their toxic aura and your begging them to see you from rooms away while your in pain but they won’t even get up to come acknowledge you they can’t even fathom that your uncomfortable or hurting they never come in to check on you but you’ll wait night after night hoping they see you…but it’s enough that they don’t see you, somehow it’s enough. Then they head to the bathroom, brush their teeth, come to bed and start snoring without even noticing your presence and you sadness… tomorrow will be the same…
5. You will constantly wonder if you’re good enough each day, yesterday you were so you’re happy, today you’re not so you’re sad-over and over and over, day after day after day.
6. Nothing you do will be good enough- the house won’t be clean enough, the kids will be “filthy”(because you were outside playing with them and letting them be kids) heaven forbid etc…
7. You’ll become an addict of something just to escape the pain of feeling so worthless that you can be thrown away at any point. That another human finds you so disposable and unworthy of love at times…but then again loves you with the same intensity moments later. What did I do? What didn’t I do? You’ll go crazy. 100 percent crazy.
8. You won’t have access to money unless you hide it around the house (do it trust me).
9. You’ll feel like your slowly burning from the inside out. You’ll sit at home crying staring at the wall wracking your brain trying to figure out why your feelings are wrong and bad. You’ll try to stifle the feelings but it won’t work because your the normal one and deep down your heart knows it. But you’ll still question if your just over sensitive, bitching too much, nagging. But your not. It won’t stop though.
10. Their family and friends won’t like you they’ll think that you’re worthless and you’ll be the biggest piece of crap in their lives and all their family and friends will tell the narc to get rid of you your burden, a pain in the ass, a mooch, a taker, I mean worthless person, When really all you do is anything and everything to prove you’re good enough because you are good enough but it’s never enough because they convince everyone your the problem. After you’ve quit your job they didn’t like, moved your home they didn’t like, lost yourself trying to be what they wanted, done everything they’ve asked thinking it was for the greater good when it was really to leave you with nothing and to degrade you for having nothing. It gives them power over you.
11. You will feel like a defeated robot sent to this earth to please them, but it’s unobtainable but you keep trying. They have to value something about you…right?
12. You’ll cry yourself to sleep while they snore, you’ll never be offered the bed during an argument, you’ll sleep on the floor or the sofa or with your children. When your sick, you're just annoying and begging for attention. But when they are ill the world better stop for them.
13. As time goes by it gets worse and worse…starts slow…the abuse, maybe a suggestion, then another then a demand then physical abuse, but that stops for a moment, then it’s emotional, financial, until they have complete Control.
14. You’ll feel numb when they come home and look at you with disgust. But you’ll feel a spark of elation and joy when they walk in and smile at you. Makes it all worth it…pathetic....
15. You’ll hide when you hear their car pull up or the garage door open and get knots in your stomach. While fixing your hair and making sure your presentable.
-
What Are 30 More Facts In A
Narcissistic Home?
Part Two
16. You’ll be blamed, targeted, lied to, manipulated, get told to go get a life, but as soon as you do, you become a wh@re, or a bad mother for having your own hobbies.
17. They will have a chip on their shoulder constantly like they can't be bothered by your presence or questions or basic need for human interaction. Don’t tell them your feelings; It’s annoying. Don’t tell them your needs; It’s annoying. Just shut up and talk about how wonderful they are and how life is butterflies and rainbows because you're a sad piece of sh!t if you show them anything they don’t wanna see.
18. You won’t get off the couch some days because of how depressed and lost you feel, but when you look up at the clock you jump up and try to make the house look how they want it to look or you’ll be questioned about "what did you even do all day?”.
19. Things will go missing and you’ll never know where it went, all the while being called crazy cuz “YOU lost it” or they have no idea and have never even seen that item before.
20. They will make you feel like a stranger in your own home.
21. You’ll get questioned for hours about your whereabouts and who you were with and changing your priorities because your messing everything up if you leave the house without them.
22. You’ll feel like you're living with a two year old and you’ll start to question your sanity and eventually you're a shell of who you were and drown in guilt and shame for something that you're not; even being someone you're not even close to being like.
23. You will go through life wondering if they will come home happy or mad. It will be on your mind from the moment you wake up each day until they get home and show you-- Did I cook the right meal?
Did I clean enough today?
Did I text them too much while they were at work?
Did I not text enough?
Don’t fall asleep because if they come home and you're napping you may be lazy and get the silent treatment.
Don’t act too busy or do too much because “Are you on something?”.
He was grumpy this morning so don’t text him with any problems because “He’s at work!! Can’t you figure these things out on your own? I work for a living!!”
But they can call or text you as much as they want with their needs, desires and petty bullshit.
24. You’ll start to pick up and mimic their traits because you're lost inside. Then you feel sick that you treat them as how they treat you.
25. You’ll beg God to remove them from your life somehow ( car crash, poisoning, police shooting, industrial accident, electrocution, drowning, mugging, parasitic infection... ).
26. You won’t get a full nights sleep.
27. You’ll be responsible for the emotional well being of everyone else in the house and neglect yourself.
28. You’ll be ignored for days or weeks on end as if you're not even there. They won’t look at you or speak to you. Then the next moment all is forgotten and swept under the rug. Until the next time you piss them off by messing up somehow. By not anticipating their needs or putting them before every other person in the house including the children.
29. You’ll lose sight of your hopes and dreams and lose a passion for anything you were good at. You will doubt every move you make and look to them for answers and they won’t provide them…you lose. Everyone in your home loses.
30. Thought of another one-- They will take everything you love or enjoy doing and make a mockery of it. I used to love to paint and journal and he read every single journal entry and took photos of them. They texted me, calling me a psycho for my thoughts. I haven’t been able to write since. I don’t paint or draw anymore. They will take every joy you have and crush it.
BONUS POINTS
31.You’ll never have someone meet you in the middle. No compromising. You do what they want-how they want- when they want. Your needs are not only neglected but continuously insulted.
32. You’ll end up crazy. Lost. Depleted. So confused and helpless. Love isn’t supposed to feel like this, is it?
33. ^^This is right where they want you and as long as you stay, it will be this way.
Forever.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-30-facts-in-a-narcissistic-home
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What happens to the one who didn't get away from the narcissist's clutches?
Yes, that’s me!
It’s been almost 20 years. I had no idea what a narcissist was all those years ago. I’d come from a controlling home, I was a pleaser, insecure and down on myself before I even met him. Then he swept me off my feet. I moved to his country and he started being mean to me.
At the beginning I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong. It felt as though there was something wrong with me. He didn’t like the way I cleaned, or looked after the babies, or disagreed with him. He’d lose his temper over little things and call me terrible names.
I was alone. I stopped working because I never knew when he would be home and the children needed me. I tried to leave but he kept saying he wouldn’t give me money or he’d take the children from me.
Year after year, I became silent, focusing on the children and on avoiding any conflict. I encouraged him to come to therapy with me, but of course he left after the third session. After all, he blamed me for it all. I became concerned that he had no empathy and didn’t take any responsibility for his behaviour.
Then one day, about a year ago, I snapped and started screaming and crying - he recorded me and threatened to have me sectioned. I was scrolling through instagram one evening when I saw a man talking about narcissistic abuse. I went down the rabbit hole of information, realising that I wasn’t going mad! He was a narcissist.
The kids are getting older now and I’m a mooch.
___________________________________
The ones who don’t get away are a shell of who they were.
They lose themselves. Narcissists cannot let you be you. All their days, they will be trying to change you in every possible way. They will fatigue you until you can barely walk. They will remove all your joy in life and all your motivation. They are basically human leeches. Human parasites. They will suck you dry, then cast you off and go to the next.
__________________________________
If you are unable to get away from a narcissist you must be in a lot of pain emotionally. You no doubt suffer from low self esteem. Your life is always chaotic and no matter how hard you try things do not get better. It’s hard to be happy under this duress. You feel abused in every sense of the word. That is a continuing way of life for those who can’t get out.
_____________________________________
They’ll continue sinking lower and lower and will lose all of their self respect. The narcissist will blame them for all of the problems that happen in the relationship and after time they will believe it.
The narcissist will make them question all of their friendships by lying to them about what others have said about them. They will also do this with family members and their own children. If the narcissist knows something that makes them happy, they will remove it. All of their beliefs will be attacked and questioned. Their self image will sink so low that it will never come back.
____________________________________
A life of Eternal Hell.
Rock bottom at all times. The second anything good happens in their entire life, it will be destroyed shortly after.
Darkness. Pain.
More than likely from in constant fight of flight mode for long periods of time. There will be health issues, physically. Not to mention the awful mental trauma side of things. The health issues due to massive amounts of constant stress will more than likely be cause of death, if not suicide.
Imagine a period of absolute awfulness in your own life. Now imagine that awful time lasting every single day for the rest of your life. It's pretty hard to even imagine that. I'm thinking about what that would feel like or be like to experience myself and I'm not gonna lie, it makes me literally sick in my stomach.
The experience I have was for years but not forever so just thinking about it being lifelong has raised my anxiety and I feel a pit in my chest. But I would imagine it to be like I described, Eternal Hell.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-to-the-one-who-didnt-get-away-from-the-narcissists-clutches
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How come narcissists frequently resort to triangulation?
Narcissists have unstable self-esteem. To regulate their self-esteem, narcissists need narcissistic supply, so narcissists use tactics of triangulation to get more narcissistic supply.
Narcissists will try to infuse jealousy and insecurities in partners, exes, friends, relatives, colleagues, coworkers, etc. to show they are in demand. When they infuse jealousy and insecurities among people, which forces people to please narcissists by putting more effort into relationships.
This is the easiest way for narcissists to get attention without making any effort. Narcissists want to show they have lots of options; you can be replaced if you are not willing to put in any effort.
Another way of triangulating is by bringing a third party into the conversation by showing they have support. Whenever you accuse narcissists of being wrong, they will bring a third party into the conversation to show they have been doing right by getting a third party's support.
Narcissists also have the habit of creating imaginary people to get support or to make you feel jealous. If narcissists can't make you jealous and insecure by using real people, then they create imaginary people and make fake stories to show their importance.
Narcissists use the tactics of triangulation to divide and rule over people.
____________________________________
What better way to feed their massive insecurity complex than have people fighting over them? It's not like they have a sense of self or anything to fall back on that has substance. This is the only way for them to get their kicks.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/How-come-narcissists-frequently-resort-to-triangulation
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How do you drive a narcissist crazy and
flip the script?
Do you have your degree in NPD?
You need that sh!t first.
Then, it is easy to flip the script on the narcissist. However, my next question would be, why the f*ck would you bother?
They are boring, childs’ play and more with a “chucky doll” intent. Or that kid from “Pet Cemetery” the creepy little bu***r that comes back from the dead and “want’s to play”. Either way, I watch a lot of horrors and either way the narcissist is nothing but a f*cking nightmare to be avoided.
“Flipping the script” takes energy, it takes the want to “play” - after a while, once you “see” who they are, they will bore you quickly - what once was a fire in your belly to get those slimy little f*ckers a taste of their own home brew - will become, well, a nothing to you as they simply become a nothing to you..
The best option is to get on with your life and play with other adults who know how to play fair, share their toys.
But, I get it - I went through the period of wanting to inflict some damage, purge my anger - go tit for tat and then I got distracted with getting on with my own life and letting the garbage do what garbage will do all on it’s own… rot.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/How-to-drive-a-narcissist-crazy-and-flip-the-script
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Does a narcissist ever
know that they are one?
I know what resides on the inside of me.
And you do too.
Now if I start thinking how to harm other human beings, don’t you think that I should be alarmed? I would because that is not who I am.
So whether narcissists have really heard the word narcissism is immaterial. What is very significant is that they know precisely who they are and the type of enjoyment they derive from harming their victims. Including innocent children. And Ron Tello
And sorry of my frame of mind, but anyone abusing innocent children is not even a human being. They are the lowest of the lowest of monsters that can ever live. Not even animals behave in this manner.
Being weak in personality and the fact that they never reflect seems to me that by the time they do understand that the demonic is influencing their behavior, they are so down the hole that they find it difficult to get out.
Sorry, but I personally choose to not show empathy with narcissists. With someone continuously intent on destruction is not someone I want to be associated with in any way.
_________________________________
I got to the stage in my relationship that I told him what I thought he was - hell, I even sent links to this sh!t. I was in the "Tried everything else" stage, lets give this a go.
I tried to talk to him about it and ask his opinion on himself and how he felt inside etc. I was told “I know there is something inside me, we are all not perfect.” And how can you argue with that? He is right after all.
Rarely, does the narcissist think they are a narcissist. The ‘label’ is also given out like crack at the school gates nowadays and is simply over-used and over-inflated. It is a term banded around in modern society for the Dickhe@d we dated or someone who stays too long in front of the bathroom mirror.
The majority of narcissists don’t know they are one. It will be YOU, the partner, who does.
Will they accept or defend? They will defend.
You would too - being called a narcissist has a connotation to it that a lot of people won’t hear and receive as being flattering.
I got to the conclusion that the guy I was with for 8 years was one and even then, the hours I spent in research, as I was desperate to find ‘evidence’ that he wasn’t. I loved him and I wanted it to work. I also wanted to help him.
But, and here is the simple part: Narcissists DO NOT AND WILL NOT SEE THEMSELVES OF HAVING NOR BEING THE PROBLEM, but they will and do ALWAYS SEE YOU AS BEING JUST THAT - THE PROBLEM.
It is a loosing game my friend.
https://www.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-ever-know-that-they-are-one-Will-they-accept-or-defend-themselves-eventually-you-made-them-know-about-it
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Narcissist always use different images of themselves as masks 🎭🎭🎭 to attract new victims for supply and they have no regards who they use and abuse 💔 in and out of their inner circle. Don’t be fooled by their malicious behavior. Never ignore the first sign of RED FLAGS 🚩 🚩🚩 , because this is what the narcissist is hoping for 👺 !
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How many people answering posts about being the victim of a narcissist are actually the narcissist themselves?
👉😎👈
I believe it’s more common than you think. And it can be very damaging to the real victims trying to make sense of the situation.
Most victims won’t write on this sh!t, nor share their experiences. They are embarrassed, ashamed, confused and in pain.
They are the ones who read in silence and say nothing. Hoping, searching, reading for some form of relief.
The “real” victims are the ones asking the questions here. At least that’s what I did 4 years ago. I didn’t know what the felafel I was experiencing.
If you look at my question count it’s over 200 and all those were in a matter of 3–4 months. I was obsessed, confused and miserable.
I wasn’t getting what I needed from the answers so I started answering the question from MY experiences.
And the moment I did that is when it all began to make sense.
People were relating, and in a big way.
I get DM’s from people thanking me for answers that I have never seen an upvote from, nor do they follow me. And some say they have read my stuff for years.
Sometimes I wonder why I do what I do. I ask myself “is it selfish and self serving I’m a way?” I dunno.
I look at it as I give a voice to those who are to afraid to speak up. I hope my words make them feel not so alone. And eventually gives them the courage to walk away and believe they deserve better. Give them the boost to know they CAN live without this person. It’s nothing more than an addiction, not love.
But yea, narcissist's are every where. I’ve met the devil face to face. And the delusion they live is something that can’t be understood. And some are VERY good at what they do.
Be careful who you speak with on here.
They could end up making a bad situation worst.
Or posted on Tello's Narc Blog.
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I disagree.
To understand narcissists, it's important to recognize that a true narcissist is deeply entrenched in their own distorted reality, making it unlikely for them to ever hold themselves accountable for the harm they cause and answer any posts.
Instead, they typically deflect blame onto others and may even accuse their victims of being narcissists themselves but won't waste time creating posts. They read and hide.
Many narcissists engage in stalking, defamation, and harassment tactics, especially when faced with exposure after a victim seeks counseling or begins to share their story. It's essential to refer to the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder for a comprehensive understanding of this condition.
Some individuals incorrectly label others as narcissists simply because they prioritize self-love, set appropriate boundaries, and refuse to tolerate mistreatment. However, these behaviors are not indicative of narcissistic personality disorder but rather signify self-care and healthy self-esteem.
Nonetheless, never confuse the reaction to narcissistic abuse, when the victim seeks to understand what happened, as them being the narcissist. Most often, when a victim is continually blamed for everything that occurred, they seek answers desperately, reaching out through emails, texts and voice messages and asking questions on social media outlets.
However, the narcissist merely smiles, reveling in the pain and hurt they caused, satisfied with the reaction they elicited. But when the victim finally stands up, leaves, and even more powerfully, tells their story, the narcissist is shaken. They feel the need to discredit the victim by initiating a smear campaign, using any ammunition they collected when the victim trusted them. The information could be over 20 years old but the narcissist is desperate so they will attempt to use a time when…
We can debate back and forth, but narcissists are not good people; they are wicked and driven by self-serving agendas. Before you label someone as a narcissist, understand the difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and self-love and care.
https://www.quora.com/How-many-people-answering-posts-about-being-the-victim-of-a-narcissist-are-actually-the-narcissist-themselves
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Why do you want to
hurt a narcissist?
>:( :mug: :fencing: :mobbing: :troll2: :ni: :sniper:
💯If I were asked this question 8 years ago, my answer would have been—VERY Dark—Because I was filled with—Rage & Anger—
💯I was at the Brink of Suicide—Completely BROKE, and had Lost EVERYTHING I'd worked so hard for, at the hands of an EVIL Person👺. I had to Flee for My Life with My Kids, and take A Leap of FAITH😇🙏 By starting over in a New City.
Needless to say—😡ANGER is an Understatement of the way I felt.
Now, years later—I'm SO Proud Of Myself—It took GREAT Courage to leave everything behind, and walk away with a Clean Conscience💯
But it is TRUE, The Best and Only Way to Heal from a Toxic/Narcissistic Relation💩 is—WALK AWAY—YES, It is the most satisfying way to dismiss a Narcissist from your life and NOT end up in Prison For Murder💯
WHY?!?
YOU have made one of the most difficult decisions you will EVER Make💯
You have taken Your Power Back💯
You have Realized Your Worth💯
No One can take that away from You💯
—That Is PRICELESS—
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Why do you want to hurt a narcissist?
Usually because they have hurt you.
The best revenge and the most devastating action you can do is to remove them from your world and move forward in your quest for peace and happiness.
______________________________________
I def want to hurt my narcissist ex.
He ruined my life.
Idk who I am anymore.
He made me so afraid of men that I am too scared to even talk to or with most men.
He kept me from my friends and now I have none.
He physically assaulted me to the point I began involuntarily peeing when he got close to me and aggressive towards me while he was drunk.
Major alcoholic.
He trapped me in his home and if I tried to leave he would corner and manhandle me.
He’d get mad bc I am quiet, non engaging in aggressive communication, and avoid arguing.
He told me debating and arguing is fun for him.
He constantly tried to pick fights with me, family and his friends.
Often these “fun” arguments with his male friends would end by him beating them up for not agreeing with him.
There was blood splatter on his walls.
He would yell at me for cleaning up the blood bc he said they were fight trophies.
Rude to wait staff.
Nonstop promises, no follow thru.
Skipped all holidays, bdays, plans, and told me work was more important.
Choked me against the front door when I tried to leave.
Huge sexist.
Sleeping with coworkers and lied about it.
He r*ped me.
Intentionally got me pregnant with holes in condoms.
Said he's never gonna let me go and will follow me everywhere and he might murder me someday.
He allowed his drunk cousin to pull a gun on me for fun because I wanted to leave.
Weird aggressive convo topics when he was drunk and I was asleep.
Screamed at me to wake up and keep babbling about whatever it was till 5 6 7 am.
Got very aggressive if I wasn't interested in his weird rants.
His screaming & yelling would upset the neighbors who called the cops 3x on him for attacking me and they could hear it and he would accuse me of calling the cops.
Threatened to punch me in the face for pushing him off of me one time.
Repeated himself for hours on end, wouldn't let other people talk.
If I expressed concern or unhappiness about anything he had said or done, he'd talk over me, tell me I am just arguing.
Have fits and say I deserved what I got.
He never said sorry for anything.
Blamed me for everything.
It was always my fault.
Told all types of people nonsense to make them dislike me.
Cheated on me.
He would drag me to bars to hang out with other women, despite knowing I have severe social anxiety and hate being alone around crowds.
I don't hardly sleep anymore because I'm scared he'll show up.
Every sound I hear in the night wakes me up.
I cant afford to move away, .
I have a shoulder injury that he would intentionally hurt and then tell me to deal with it. I dgaf how or why he has NPD.
I never deserved any of that sh*t.
I have always been a quiet, peaceful, & non confrontational person.
Now I'm stressed and scared all the time and cannot have relationships with anyone cause I have 0 trust for any man.
Why should I not want to hurt him?
I have never wanted to hurt anyone at all but him.
I have never wanted to hurt someone so bad.
And BADLY.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-you-want-to-hurt-a-narcissist
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Why do narcissists want to hurt you?
:rawprawn:
This is my experience being married for 47 years to a Covert Malignant NPD. A NPD wants to hurt you because they are riddled from childhood pain, insecurities, uncertainty, abandonment, anger, frustrations, feelings of being unloved, uncared and not protected as a young child with no validation as to who they are as a person. These feelings are most likely from the result of their parent(s) parenting styles, especially Authoritarian.
This occurs when a child is very young between the young ages of 2–7 years of age when they are developing their personality. A child does not get the love, caring, nurturing that is so critical for a young child to grow up into a healthy, mature adult. So a child’s mind and emotions develop in a mentally disordered way that results in them developing a Narcissistic Personality Disorder in their early adulthood. Sad to say it is a learned behavior from the way they were treated in their childhood.
As a result the child spends their childhood seeing how others live and trying to get their needs met but they lack the ability to love and to care about another person because they lack Emotional Empathy. This is why they do not care if they hurt someone in their life. They are void of those emotions and thus being hurtful, mean and cruel is not a problem for them. They have no conscience in treating others this way.
Thus a child learns to manipulate, lie and cheat to get their needs met. They strive for perfection because they learn what they need to do this to get along in this world and be accepted in life.
When they reach early adulthood they have developed this “Mask of Perfection” that they show to the world. They can be highly functional in their world and that is why their behavior is so confusing. But inside they are riddled with insecurities, uncertainty, pain, anger, feelings of abandonment, lack of protection, frustrations, feelings of being unloved or cared for in their lives.
It is critical for them to keep these painful feelings hidden from the world and they will do anything to hide these feelings from the public. If someone exposes them for who they truly are then that person can be stalked, hurt, traumatized by them and possibly killed. It is never a good idea to expose them.
As they enter their early adult years they realize people get married or have a relationship. So they seek out the people who are kind, loving, caring, supportive, smart, attractive, successful in life and friendly. They believe the people with these qualities will make them look good to the world because they were able to snag this wonderful person.
And now begins their behavior to wine and dine you in the nicest restaurants, shower you with wonderful words of affirmation, show an enormous amount of interest in your life, leave you loving messages on your phone and text how incredible you are, buy you the most thoughtful gifts so much so that you are feeling on top of the world with the love he is showing you. How lucky you feel to be adored and loved by such a perfect man!
They suggest that the two of you are so much alike and that you share the same goals, dreams and aspirations in life. They tell you that your childhood and families are so similar. They suggest why wait another minute…let’s get together and move in or get married sooner than later. Why wait for this miraculous union to be solidified? You think what an incredible life you are going to have with this person.
Slowly but surely, the reality begins to rear it’s ugly head. After a few months you find they are slowly distancing themselves from you. You are not quite sure why but when you ask them, they readily assure you with a plausible reason.
You notice they are showing you some anger for things you never did to him but they accuse you. Then one day you realize they told you a half truth. So you nonchalantly come up to them to discuss the matter with them.
What comes next you are totally unprepared for when they get up into your face and yell at you, “Who do you think you are accusing me of being a liar? I have never lied a day in my life! How dare you think I would lie like that! You know that “Honesty” is my highest virtue in life. So why do you do this? Now I know where the real truth lies…the REAL LIAR IS YOU!!!”
I was totally dumbfounded and frozen with fear! I had never seen such anger from my husband and did not know how to handle it.
What I learned later, this was a “Rage” that is basically a two-year-old temper tantrum that is done to control your behavior or stop you from confronting their behavior and it is done on purpose.
Later on you realize they are accusing you of things they say and does which is called “Projections.” To diffuse your attention to their bad behaviors they then accuse you of their behavior first. Things become so confusing as you try to figure out what is going on. Nothing makes sense!
Then one day you talk about a problem you were having and both of you come to a compromising solution. Three days goes by and you see your NPD behavior has not changed. You go to talk about it and are shocked to find out their explanation.
He tells you that you never talked about that problem ever in your life. He accuses you of making up lies to cause problems and calls you a sick person for making up untruths. I later learned this is called “gaslighting” which is done to mess up your reality and ultimately control you.
The hardest thing for me to wrap my head around was the fact that all the love he was showing me when we were dating was considered “FAKE LOVE” or better known as “LOVE BOMBING.” It was not true love and it was devastating because I held onto that belief that he truly loved me for decades.
You find he wears the “Mask of Perfection” with all these wonderful qualities they show in public but are never seen behind closed doors. So you talk with your family and friends to try and figure out what is going on.
They look at you like something is wrong with you. They cannot understand what you are even talking about because they see such a kind, caring and loving man in your life. So eventually you become isolated and lonely in your marriage and you cannot figure out what is happening to you. You know that he loved you before he married you. He holds honesty as his highest virtue so why does nothing make sense?
You go to medical and psychology libraries along with bookstores (there was no internet or Quora back then) but find nothing that applies. In the 1970s and the 1980s there was nothing about Narcissism or even Narcissistic Personality Disorder that I could find.
The only description of a Narcissist was someone who was flamboyant, arrogant, center of attention, selfish and self-centered and life of the party. That did not describe my husband at all because he was shy, quiet & reserved. So I quickly crossed this off Narcissism as a possible diagnosis.
It was not until 1999 that I found an article on the Internet written by Sam Vaknin that he turned into his book, “Malignant Love.” For the first time in my life I had an inkling of someone was describing and understanding the “Elephant” in my Living Room but I still did not comprehend what was going on. I was so busy working and being a mother and found absolutely no one who believed and understood my story.
My life resulted in being severely depressed, Trauma-Bonded, Complex PTSD and Serious Chronic Stress-Related Illness that turned into major illnesses that seriously affected my everyday life. I had severe autoimmune system, panic attacks and anxiety. I cried myself to sleep every night for decades and I was a total mess devastated deep down to my soul. Where do I go from here?
I went to my doctor and he finally sent me to a psychiatrist who was knowledgeeable in personality disorders. At the end of my first appointment he says to me, “You did nothing wrong in this marriage. You will get well but he never will!” I was shocked by his words because I was told by my husband I was the problem in the marriage and everything was my fault.
So I want to say that a NPD is riddled with so much underlying problems and they search out a good person to validate their “Mask of Perfection” so they can turn around and treat you like an “object” to serve their emotional addictive needs of feeling SUPERIOR over you; POWERFUL over you; CONTROL over you which are qualities that they are addicted to which is called their “supply.”
They need someone to blame for their incredible mistakes. They can never take the blame or responsibility for their behaviors. You and your children will be given emotional abuse or more on a continual basis until you can find the help you need. And by then you are so broken down by this person that you want to die from the incredible pain they deliberately caused in your life.
I was lucky I had a daughter and her husband who saw how he treated me and took me into their life with open arms. You can heal. They will rob you blind of the money that is yours. They think everything belongs to them. They will try to take your children in a divorce court for the sole reason of controlling you. Get full custody for your children. They are too selfish and self-centered to be a good parent.
The truly sad thing about this is that the general public has no clue about these people who have NPD. Unless you have lived with one of these mentally disordered personalities you do not realize the devastation they can do deep down to your soul. They are found all over the world.
This is the world’s deepest secret that will destroy so many people. I want to thank Quora for providing an opportunity for me to write and share my story with a Covert NPD/ASPD for 47 years in hopes of giving other victims hope in their situation and for them to realize they will heal but he never will heal.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-you?no_redirect=1
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:fight:
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@ronaldculley
13 days ago
My MAD ex-narc is fit to model straight jackets.
@carpathianken
12 days ago
My mad ex narc made me feel the need to model stab proof jackets.
Narcissists Are Cowards
(THIS Is What They Fear Most)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PijDSGl7Gp8&t=219s
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Why Are Narcissists Afraid
of Karma? Even Though They
Always Feel Right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN-WyEKtiK0
@ronaldculley
What goes around...lies in wait, and when you least expect it..BLAM! Up yours, Buddy!
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Narcissistic Relationships:
A Wake-up Call
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAmQAYRzP5E
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:groucho:HEY BUDDY HERE IS THE DEAL I AM MAKING A WHOLE NEW CHANNEL. I WILL BE DOING OTHER CONTENT NO HACK CONTENT. I HAVE AN OFFER FOR YOU I WILL NEVER GO LIVE ON THIS NEW CHANNEL BUT YOU CAN I WILL GIVE YOU ACCESS SO YOU CAN GO LIVE ANYTIME YOU WANT JUST DONT MENTION ME OR DO ANYTHING TO MY CONTENT NO STRINGS ATTACHED LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK I AM SETTNG UP LIVESTREAM I HAVE TO WAIT 24 HOURS BEFORE LIVE STREAMING CAN HAPPEN
:tello:Acceptable! Thank you!!!
:groucho: I will call you later and we can go over some details awesome this will be fun
:tello:Let the Game Changers Begin!
"Gentlemen...start your PODCASTS!"
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/wiLP4Lg9qVE
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:crazy:
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A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=510.msg730599#msg730599
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When you leave a narcissist, what will happen to him/her?
When you leave a narcissist, it makes them feel insulted and humiliated. You have played on a narcissist’s biggest fear of being abandoned.
Narcissists will try their best to keep you in a relationship by making false promises; they'll love bomb you to prevent you from leaving the relationship.
Narcissists will abuse and gaslight you for leaving them. Narcissists will blame you for all the problems to make you feel guilty.
Narcissists will make you feel jealous by bringing other people into relationships to show they have lots of options. If you leave them, then you will lose them forever.
Narcissists may blackmail you by using whatever information or private things they have of yours. Threatening and blackmailing will be common.
Narcissists will run a smear campaign against you and use flying monkeys to abuse you or convince you to stay in a relationship. They will act like a victim.
Stalking, harassing, and aggressive behavior will be common.
If narcissists have forced you to discard them, then they will act like a victim.
Narcissists will look for other options or exes for narcissistic supply.
Every narcissist will behave in a different way. Narcissists don't like when you end the relationship.
After leaving narcissists, go no contact on narcissist forever to avoid drama and chaos.
https://personalitydisordersmanipulation.quora.com/When-you-leave-a-narcissist-what-will-happen-to-him-her
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Covert Narcissist's: The introverted & passive-aggressive Narcissist .. They disregard others while exaggerating their own importance. They also blame, shame, & ignore the feelings & needs of others whilst portraying an angel like image in public while at home they have the resemblance of a sick twisted evil person - Covert Narcissists use emotional abuse. Feeding themselves to inflate the somewhat non existent ego, whilst using you as the source of the supply.
They're desperately trying to survive by feeding off you & mirroring you, getting attention .. Remember it's all about them & what they want - you are nothing to them! Sad reality but .. it's also sadly true, they abuse you more “covertly” masking their “abuse” in sly digs etc masked with passive aggressive remarks .. you sense something is off with this person, you feel that something just doesn't sit right with you ..Deep down your gut & instincts are telling you so. It'll sometimes take years before you finally catch on.
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A narcissist doesn't want your love. They don't know what love is. They don't understand the concept of mutual respect, empathy, and genuine connection. Instead, they crave something far more superficial - your admiration and your obedience.
To them, you're not a person with thoughts, feelings, and desires. You're a pawn in their game of self-aggrandizement, a player in their make-believe world of grandeur and superiority. They need you to validate their delusions, to feed their ego, and to worship them as the center of the universe.
They'll charm and manipulate you, using every trick in the book to keep you in their orbit. But don't be fooled - it's not love they're offering. It's a toxic cocktail of control, gaslighting, and emotional exploitation.
They'll demand your attention, your praise, and your devotion. They'll expect you to sacrifice your own needs, desires, and boundaries to cater to their every whim. And if you don't comply, they'll punish you with tantrums, silence, the withdrawal of their "affection" or even worse ....the Narcissistic DISCARD.
But remember, their "love" is a farce. It's a disguise for their own insecurities, their own fears, and their own emptiness. They're not capable of genuine intimacy, of vulnerability, or of true connection. They're only capable of using and discarding, like a puppeteer manipulating their next victim.
So don't fall for the trap. Don't confuse their grandiose gestures with genuine affection. See them for what they are - a master manipulator, a user, and a narcissist. And run, run as fast as you can, before they suck the life out of you.
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Will a narcissist try to
get revenge if they've been hurt?
Yes, always. Narcissists are so vengeful when they feel wronged due to their emotional immaturity. This is an important point to understand, as it reveals why narcissistic relationships can never be healthy.
Narcissism is believed to stem from an abusive or neglectful childhood, where the child's emotions and needs were not properly mirrored and validated by their primary caregivers. This leads to the narcissist developing painful feelings of being unlovable, inadequate, and worthless.
When a narcissist feels wronged, these painful emotions get triggered. To protect themselves, they use the defense mechanism of projection - taking their own unacceptable thoughts and feelings and attributing them to the other person instead. By invalidating, devaluing, and degrading you, the narcissist is trying to make you feel as bad as they do on the inside.
In summary, a narcissist's vengeful behavior when they feel wronged is rooted in their emotional immaturity and the need to project their own painful inner experiences onto others to maintain their sense of stability.
___________________________________
If a narcissist is angry at you, watch out. They will actively seek to do you harm.
They will say the most damaging things they can think of to say. They will if totally enraged and come at you with both barrels. They will physically hurt you if they lose control or destroy your property. If they stay in control and worry about consequences to themselves they will revert to covert operations. Covert operations like slice your tires, file false police reports to get you arrested, screw with your job, friends and family. They love to smear your reputation.
They will willfully seek to cause you harm with more energy and determination then you could ever match.
Here’s the kicker: they don’t even need to be mad at you to hurt you. If they are having a bad day, somebody else will too. They will strike out against somebody else to make themself feel better. If they are hurting they will blame somebody else and hurt that person.
If they are malignant they don’t need a reason. They just feed on your misery, making you hurt gets their rocks off. Your misery causes them glee.
As you are devalued you also get punished. Punished for fooling the narcissist for making them think you are perfect; punished for being human; punished for any weakness you show. Punished for loving them. They at their core feel flawed and unlovable. You are therefore flawed for loving them, a punishable offense.
No remorse, no regret for what they do to you. They feel justified when they do something. That’s if they don’t play their mind tricks and compartmentalize it and forget it ever happened. No empathy whatsoever for what they do to you.
Narcissists willfully hurt others.
https://www.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-try-to-get-revenge-if-theyve-been-hurt
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:tello:
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Is a narcissist ever happy?
Absolutely not.
The problem with narcissists is that they are unsatisfied, jealous, envious, and insecure people. The root causes of unhappiness are unsatisfaction, greed, comparison, and selfishness. Narcissists are never satisfied with what they have.
Narcissists derive happiness from people, money, substance abuse, materialistic things, etc. Once they get what they want, they want more. Narcissists get easily bored with the things they have and start looking for more. Narcissists can't see people doing good because they are pathologically envious and jealous. Narcissists don't even understand that they have to compete with themselves to be better, not with others.
Narcissists plan to lie, steal, cheat, etc. to make themselves satisfied, but in the end, they are never going to be satisfied.
Happiness lies within you; no one can make you happy unless you are happy with yourself. Narcissists want to feel happy by deriving pleasure from other sources. Narcissists are always going to remain unsatisfied and unhappy.
_________________________________
No, never.
They have this void inside. A black hole. They try to fill the void with supply while the black hole engulfs it maintaining the void inside.
Imagine you're starving. You have all the food you ever need but you can only chew it not swallow. This is a narcissists plight.
They are desperate to satisfy the emptiness inside. Constantly needing supply after supply. Each time their need is only briefly met before needing resupply.
They hope that the next supply will be the one to satisfy. It never is. They discard each one for the next. This is how the narcissist lives life.
They will never have what they starve for. The satisfaction of being whole. They can never be happy until that need is met. And for the unsuspecting supply, you suffer the wrath.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Is-a-narcissist-ever-happy
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REALITY & NARCISSIST don’t belong in the same sentence.
Reality is their enemy, which is why their false self will ALWAYS win.
The Reality of Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kz38iQ4aBFU
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Why do NARCISSIST think that everyone wants them?
A narcissist lives in a world of delusion.
Not only do they believe their own delusions, but they want you to join them in this. No, actually, the narcissist forces you to believe in this world of lies they inhabit. They do this by presenting a false image.
To be with a narcissist, you have to become delusional yourself.
It's a shared delusion, and not fair at all I'll admit.
The victim comes into the "relationship" with starry, lovestruck eyes. There is no other in their world but the narcissist.
The narcissist plays the part perfectly (at first), and seems like a genuine, honest individual.
Nothing could be further from the truth. What lies beneath the narcissist's personality is a wicked, hateful, deceitful, lying scumbag.
So they lied to you and didn't play fair. The perfect person is actually a piece of trash.
Anyone who has been with a narcissist knows this. They know what utter garbage narcissists are.
Narcissists are a far cry from the image they initially present. They're just pretending, and by lying to you, by presenting this image, they get you to participate in the delusion.
You have to break the spell. Break through the "glass darkly" that the narcissist presents, and they will show you who they really are.
Absolute trash and filth.
____________________________________
The narcissist is the most special person on Earth. There’s nobody more knowledgeable, beautifully crafted, and all Good as them. Their entitlement, grandiosity, and feelings of superiority are unmatched.
The narcissist believes they are the center of the universe. They are the sun and we are all the planets, revolving around him. Who wouldn’t want to be with such a magnificent specimen? They feel you are lucky they chose you, you beat out All the others.
That’s their gift to you. They are allowed to be with, take, and use Anyone and Anything because we were All put on this Earth to serve and please them. The narcissist is what we All want. There is no other.🙄👀🤮 That's why.
_____________________________________
They are the best looking, sexiest, cleverest most desirable person ever.
If you start a relationship with one, it will be the best relationship ever for them, not you.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-do-NARCISSIST-think-that-everyone-wants-them
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Are narcissistic people bad deep down, or are they just incredibly insecure?
It is not just insecurity. If it was, enough love and caring would reassure them, and make them nice to you - but that never happens.
It is a disorder, and a very serious one for the partner and anyone else who gets close to the narcissist.
Because the narcissist is incapable of love or empathy, they simply use others for what they can get out of them - a domestic servant, an acolyte, a social circle, money- whatever. Then, when they have squeezed the target dry, or they get bored, or they get a better offer, or the target queries something they say or do, they dump that target, to move onto a new one (New SUPPLY).
That is why narcissists have a kind of revolving door of best friends, jobs, and relationships - either they are moving on, in their shark-like way, or they are being found out and forced into it. A lot of narcissists have multiple marriages, many children with different partners, and a succession of friendships which last only a few years.
So please, if you have a narcissist somewhere in your life, read more about the disorder. It will help you deal with them and understand why you should never get too close to one.
I like "Is There A narcissist In Your Life?"
Amanda Clymont
Amazon.
It will open your eyes to their systems and all the tricks they use to fool people, for a while.
________________________________
Narcissists are all VERY insecure, BUT that is not an excuse to do evil against others.
Many of us are insecure.
Many of us have been abused.
And we didn’t grow up to be hurtful to others.
So are they “bad”? From my experience - they most definitely are.
WHY? Because they CHOOSE to harm others w/o remorse. Is it their fault? I say YES! Maybe they didn’t have the best upbringing - where they learned to be thoughtful of others, etc…but that just isn’t a valid excuse for me anymore.
I’ve seen the harm they are capable of doing to others, and just keep doing it. They do NOT learn. I used to feel sorry for them, but no more. Why? Because they use the compassion others give to them to further harm them. And again, they just don’t get it. They do NOT learn.
They were raised to never really grow up and become healthy responsible people. They are selfish, spoiled, angry, abusive, self-centered & self-righteous toddlers in an adult body.
They use and abuse others without restraint. They live between 4 & 14 years old depending on what they want in the moment. And again, AGAIN - they don’t learn.
They learn how to do worse things, but they just don’t learn how to do better. Why? Partly because they are most often pathological liars who also believe their own lies. So how does someone improve when they convince themselves that it is always everyone else's fault(s) for all their problems? They just lie some more. Lie to themselves and lie to YOU!
Also they have zero respect for others. If you care about them, forgive them. Try to help them…..they see you as a sucker to be used. If you get angry and call them out of their BS - then you are a b*tch or an a-hole, who deserves to be abused. That is who narcissists are. It’s up to you to label them “good” or “bad”.
Bottom line is they ARE harmful to your well being - and I would avoid them as much as possible!
_______________________________________
My answer is my opinion based on my experience.
They are incredibly insecure. The more I learn about narcissism and what I lived through for 20 years the more contradictory it becomes. I think that's on purpose too, just like everything else surrounding these…..people.
Narcissists are just people that like to look in the mirror at themselves right? That's what I always thought narcissism was. They believe themselves to be so beautiful they just can't get enough of themselves. I've learned the hard way that what goes up must come down too.
It's all meant to do exactly what it does. Confuse, frustrate, deflect, divert, distract, and some other action words I can't think of right now. It's all in the design. And the design is to allow concealment. They are walking, talking, contradictions in the shape of humans.
Everything about them contradicts. Their words and actions. Their meaning. Their intent. It's all meant to send us on a wild goose chase. They start a fire and run out the back door and we are holding the matches.
They require excessive amounts of adoration yet they don't want us too close. They need us to be dependant on them but not actually need anything. They can't provide for our needs but they want us to believe they can. They expect us to give them everything we are and hate us for giving it to them.
Are they bad?
More like mad.
Mad that they built their straw house on sand. Mad they don't have the things required to be a real human. Mad that they have to get it from others. I would be mad too if I had to live everyday of my life manipulating people to make me feel like something.
Pffttt.
They're not about anything.
They need us. And they hate us because they need us. They envy us. So they destroy what they can ever be. But just like everything else with these…. people, they can not understand what REALLY makes us tick.
They don't know we have the ability to take what they dish out. They don't realize until it's to late how strong we really are. The sh!t they have heaped on us would crush them in 2.5 seconds. Think about that. They are not strong enough to handle what they do to us. And they hate us because we can take it. We take it and make a mockery of their best attempts. Because. They ain't sh!t. And never will be sh!t. But they are sh!t.
They're insecure because, try as they might, we just keep on ticking. Reminding them of what they are not.
Strong.
Real.
Genuine.
And when their best attempts fail to make us otherwise, it infuriates them and we suffer the consequences. Do yourself a favor. Leave them to whatever it is they're doing. Choose you. Rise up. And move on.
Whether it's insecurity or just plain bad it doesn't matter. It's wrong, that's what it is. And it's only going to get worse.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissistic-people-bad-deep-down-or-are-they-just-incredibly-insecure
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Why do narcissists always make people feel like they have done something wrong?
The determining factor is control. Walking around with a face like fizz kind of keeps us on edge in a perpetual state of walking on eggshells. More often than not, too scared to broach the subject in case we get out heads bitten off or they just prolong the sulk.
For sure these are miserable people at the best of times but they know exactly what they’re doing and they have you where they want you, which is under their thumb. The narcissist in your life is bored. On the one hand glad to see the back of you but on the other fully aware that they could never last two minutes on their own and who else would put up with this sh!t the way you do?
No doubt pisses you off the way they can change in public and morph into a different human being altogether but that’s narcissists for you. Chameleons personfifed.
Suggest reading chapter ‘Narcissists and control’ in book entitled:
"Prepare to be tortured. The price you will pay for dating a narcissist".
Available at Amazon Books.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-always-make-people-feel-like-they-have-done-something-wrong
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Falling Down was
PROPAGANDA
Joel Schumacher's 1993 film Falling Down has acquired a certain reputation as a cult classic. It's been discussed from various angles, but most of those discussions have taken for granted that William Foster (DFENS) is a villain. This analysis will challenge that reading, not so much by arguing that Bill is NOT a villain, but by showing how his transformation INTO villain is a manipulation meant to poison the well against certain kinds of social dissatisfaction.
In effect, my intent here is to expose Falling Down as a work of political propaganda by discussing its historical context and relating it to some relevant sociological and political works, demonstrating that, even if Bill dies the bad guy, his critique of society still has teeth.
@Antractica
3 months ago (edited)
What's really terrible is that every issue brought up in this movie has gotten indescribably worse in the past 30 years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ji94tMVjNm8
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:tello: "Narc or Self-Care?"
DISCOVER HOW YOUR HAIR
AFFECTS YOU SPIRITUALLY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5fMbmozeag
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Projection will tell you everything you need to know
about a Narcissist.
Narcissists and Projection: When The Narcissist Places Their Feelings
or Behavior
On You
:neener:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmWrKnK2PGQ
@tedschmitt178
4 years ago
It is much easier for narcissists to say and believe that others hate them, rather than admitting that they hate themselves.
@Nancy-yw1rr
4 years ago
They can't take ZERO criticism without going ballistic, but they dish it out in spades. They are extremely hypocritical.
I have had that experience (MANY times) where I have been falsely accused of thinking horrible thoughts about him when I have made a simple request or dared to offer a different opinion. It's totally insane.
@alexanderrenz329
4 years ago
How coldly and flatly they deny they're behaviour and attribute it to you is scary. Its suffocating to be raised by passive aggressive covert narcs. They're monsters who suck the will to live out of you.
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Narcissists
They are lonely. They really do not have genuine friends.
They are always bored.
They have an addiction that keeps them away from my point 2.
They have a very low self esteem.
All narcissists are cheaters !
They sleep around randomly because of self validation and really do not enjoy any intimate.
They use lies to manipulate people.
It is difficult to detect a narcissist because of their high charisma and fake kindness.
They cannot feel your pain!
They can only idealize or infatuate you, they do not have the ability to love!
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:mobbing: FJB
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The ability to relate to other humans is what makes us…human.
Narcissists & Main Character Syndrome (And What This Means For You)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjTOqopDxow
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Do you feel hate from a narcissist?
Narcissists really know how to hate. A deep kind of hatred that is not human. If you slight them in any manner, pay back is huge. Completely out of proportion and ready to destroy you. Even if it means they will suffer consequences. But you must pay.
And hey, for anyone to reciprocate love received with the type of behavior that narcissists are capable of, sorry but to me that is also a type of hatred.
A hatred that you exist. A hatred that you do not live a low level and frustrated life like they do.
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More hatred than you've ever felt in your life!
After many years with a malignant narcissist I felt hatred from an emotional ,spiritual and practical way. Did I tolerate too much?
Of course!
I had a son though and was never going to leave him alone so I did what I did.
As with everything narcissistic you are trained to accept scraps. I'm healed now and still struggle with why ? I had loyalty to my son but maybe I could have dealt with it differently.
I used to think ‘ she hates everyone but hates me less then them’. How sad . That's what I lived off. That was the version of love I accepted .
It's the constant that is mind blowing when it comes with the hatred . Constant pain bombs that never end. While you are recovering from one , another is landed. Its why you never catch up and the fog worsens.
Even when they are not dropping bombs it's like there's a unsettling , unnerving feeling at all times.
I always liken narcissistic abuse to radiation.
They both contaminate everything it reaches.
They are both invisible.
They both kill.
They both cause agony.
They both cause hairloss.
They both cause multiple strains of cancer.
If only there was a narcissistic Geiger counter!
https://www.quora.com/Do-you-feel-hate-from-a-narcissist
Does it even bother you when a narcissist hates you?
It use to. Until I realized their hate is actually jealousy. They are jealous of what you have inside you. They can not self reflect nor have empathy. The more you realize that these people are in their heads and just making everyone else feel how they feel so they can feel better… the less you are affected by their games.
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Narcissists are bullies who want to take away your happiness. They are unable to feel happiness, and your happiness hurts their feelings.
The closest they get to happiness is the feeling of glee that they get in wrecking, sabotaging and obstructing the happiness of others.
Trying to repair their feelings is an impossible task, they will reward your attempts with abuse.
It is much better to use the narcissist as fuel to increase your own happiness. Use their provocations to get you off your fat bottom, and doing the things you need to get done. By being Superior to them is how you bully the narcissist.
Smile — they're watching,
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A lot of narcissists hate me. It’s OK because I don’t want them to like me. If they liked me, then they would want to hang around me. If they want to hang around me, then I’m felafelled because I have to spend time with him. If I was in love with a narcissist however, then it would probably bother me. But that’s life, you win some and you lose some.
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Why even bother being bothered? Haters hate.Such is their lot.
If a narcissist feels so inclined to seek to go “salting the Earth” let them eat mud. Narcissists do love to spread fake sweetness, at least during the lovebombing phase.
Doh … let them eat and own their own fake cake. Don’t bother revisiting the Narc personalised landscape version of Sodom and Gomorrah… craftily created for you … and you … and you.
Let it go and leave the hateful cake to consume them a lot.
Don’t t fan their flames … don’t dig around. Just leave them in the dust of your past.
What a Lot of saltiness they will inherit … karma is a match that always strikes back.
https://www.quora.com/Does-it-even-bother-you-when-a-narcissist-hates-you
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You know when doctors, psychologists and therapists say that they can’t even help these people, because they are DEMONIC !
Narcissists: Demons Walking Around in Human Form
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8veth2aKMbk
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:popcorn:
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
HEY!! Are you listening to this??? IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. I got my own problems with fake guilt.
Narcissists Play
Power Games
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Zq5fVPtx0&t=1095s
Page 17 :banana: :dance: :notsmee: :bear: :duckling:
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:smee!:
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Why will a narcissist
leave you forever?
You gained a lot of weight, lost your teeth, went bald, had trouble with your private parts, lost all your money, don't have any friends, and now you live in a dumpster. You were told you have an illness that can't be cured, and the last time anyone saw you, you were begging the narcissist not to leave. It's pretty certain this would happen unless the narcissist thought you were lying, and they could take all the credit for your problems.
With a narcissist, when they say "forever" or "never," it might only last a short time, like a few hours or days. For example, they might say, "I never want to talk to you again," but then call you just two hours later and say, "You never tried to call me." Or they might say, "I never want to see you again," and then a month later, find you and say, "It's been forever since you saw me."
There are three words that narcissists use a lot that should make you worried: 'forever,' 'never,' and 'always.' When they say these things, it's like a warning sign.
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Simple, all you have to do is have no more resources for them to rampage through or rape. They can't handle having no money or having you use their money. Narcissist are very selfish people!
In the beginning of a relationship they may seem like they are very giving and genuine but it's all a show. All they really care about is what you have, which is way more in the end what they ever give you. They're just out to use everything up you have and that's it. Then, once all your resources are gone, they move on to greener pastures.
https://www.quora.com/Why-will-a-narcissist-leave-you-forever
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Is it really difficult to
live alone?
Wow, not at all! I think it’s far more difficult to live with others. I work any hour of the day or night and sleep when I’m tired. I eat when I want, what I want, and I have long stretches of quiet time to do my work. I’m on Zoom calls at any hour and I never have to bother someone when I get up to go in the office. Everything is always right where I left it, and laundry can happen at any hour. I’m a bit of a neat freak so straightening up the house can happen at any hour.
I can sing off key if I want. (I don’t.) I have a dog who loves to play and we’ll get a good chase going in the middle of the night. There are moments when I’ll get up to go outside to hear the owls in the middle of the night or look at the stars. I have armadillos here and they don’t see well or frighten easily so I’ll go out at night and get fairly close.
I’ve lived with others and I remember sneaking off in the middle of the night to the living room to write or to get some work done. I don’t have to do any of that.
I don’t know why anyone would think it’s difficult to live alone. It’s way easier.
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I love living alone.
I love the silence, beauty and symmetry of my house.
I love sleeping in the middle of the bed, sometimes diagonally.
I love setting up my own rhythm, reading far into the night, writing early in the morning, opening the fridge and calling an apple with peanut butter "dinner".
I love getting a bowl of fruit and flowers for the dining room table.
When I wake up on Sunday mornings I lie there still and feel the cadence of my own heartbeats and know I have a beautiful day stretched out before me, with a sky that is blue and crisp and anything but empty.
I think everyone should live alone at least once in their life.
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Whether living alone is difficult or not can vary greatly from person to person. Some individuals find living alone to be liberating, empowering, and enjoyable as it allows them to have independence, privacy, and control over their living space. They may appreciate the ability to make decisions without having to consider others and find solace in the peace and quiet that living alone can provide.
However, for others, living alone can be challenging. It may lead to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and a lack of social interaction, especially if one is used to living with others or being surrounded by people. Additionally, managing all aspects of daily life, such as cooking, cleaning, and paying bills, can become overwhelming for some individuals when they live alone.
The key factors that determine whether living alone is difficult for a person include their personality, support system, social needs, coping mechanisms, and overall well-being. It's important to prioritize self-care, maintain social connections, and seek support if needed when living alone to ensure a positive and fulfilling living experience.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-really-difficult-to-live-alone
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:notsmee:
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:amigo:
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:hunchback:
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The FAILURE FILES A Ron Tello Studios Production :help: :troll2: :sick: :ni:
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=83
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WHAT THE NEW SUPPLY WILL BE EXPERIENCING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ns2FFJSMBk
@TanjaT-od4nw
6 hours ago
Narcissist as a wolf in sheep's clothing.:
"If you feel sad, I can eat you."
@JulieShah-in7zz
6 hours ago
New supply or supplies were sat in the wings waiting. Probably totally unaware they are about to enter one of the most toxic abusive relationships of their life. I have to accept he will be destroying more lives... women and children....I feel desperate for them.
@maryolinger9465
6 hours ago
God bless the new supply as they unknowingly encounter the eventual toxicity!! Andrew -Thank you for these educational sessions!! All folks please heed Andrew's unparalleled knowledge, wisdom and instruction about these narcissistic topics!! Love and encouragement to you Andrew and all community folks!!
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Are narcs scared to be alone?
:panic: :mummy: :badfinger: :drama:
I would say so. Many are essentially scared/abandoned children living in adult bodies. Some do isolate, as they genuinely struggle with tolerating criticism, any form of rejection. Narcissists are painfully sensitive human beings. The external world presents a major threat to narcissists, yet they are highly dependent on the external world.
Some do carry a very strong fear of abandonment, and genuinely believe that everyone will leave them. Sadly, they sabotage themselves and bring on the very thing that they fear. The false self is a protective shield. Their attempts to avoid abandonment are entirely dysfunctional.
I believe that many experience a profound sense of loneliness, but they do not know how to do mature/committed romantic relationships. Their insecurity drives them. They do not possess the social/emotional skills necessary to function as healthy relationship partners. Their brains did not develop as they should have.
As a result, they must put on an act. They cannot bond, cannot connect in the ways that we can. They are developmentally arrested. I have some level of empathy for them, as I can only imagine what they feel within on a daily basis.
I believe that they deeply resent their dependence on others/the external world, but cannot do much about it. Some feel entirely empty without “adequate” narcissistic supply, so I imagine that their “good feelings” escape them very often. There is no stability.
Although this may be a rather unpopular opinion, I believe that they are controlled by the fear of abandonment once they have idealized someone. I felt a great deal of desperation in the covert’s people-pleasing/love-bombing behaviors.
I could tell that he was desperate to be liked, to be approved of. I do not think that he believed he could keep someone around, keep someone coming back without putting on a show of (fake) generosity. What I experienced was a frenzy of giving.
I experienced the child who was desperately seeking approval and acceptance, even if it meant pretending to be who he was not. The child who was frequently criticized and negatively judged. The child who felt entirely defective and inadequate.
I experienced his failed mirroring attempts, as they were very obvious when I was face-to-face with him. It really did remind me of a child who is desperately trying to fit in, imitating his/her peers, trying to gain approval.
I experienced the adult man who is angry with the world, angry with how he was made to feel during his childhood, angry with women for overlooking him and rejecting him, obsessed with trying to prove himself.
The adult man who is ashamed of his deficits/shortcomings, his lack of accomplishment. The adult man who is far too hard on himself. The adult man who is consumed with envy, always comparing himself to others.
He claimed superiority over me when I rejected him (the rejection was well-deserved), which demonstrated that his grandiosity was truly a defense. I believe that his destructive defenses protected him as a child, helped him to cope with an emotionally painful childhood. I am not inadequate. You are inadequate. I am not defective. You are defective. I am not inferior. You are inferior.
Deep down, he is still carrying the negative voices of those who brought him down as a child. He is carrying negative core beliefs. He anticipates rejection and abandonment. Vulnerability was dangerous as a child. He was frequently emotionally invalidated.
I believe that the narcissist very often engages in projection. The narcissist is essentially dumping his/her shame, insecurities, childhood pain, negative core beliefs onto you. The narcissist is essentially labeling you with his/her negative and unwanted traits/qualities.You become the parts of the narcissist that he/she desires to disown.
I once felt a sadness in the room while I was preparing to go back home. I looked over toward him. He was in a fetal-like position with his eyes closed. I sat back on the bed and gave him a hug, reached out and touched his hand. He grabbed onto my hand with an intensity that felt very genuine. It surprised me at the time, and I genuinely felt bad for having to leave.
I could feel an intense desperation when I chose to close the door on him for good. I could feel the pain of his inner child, the pain of not knowing how to get his needs met, the pain of his childhood. Our last conversation may never entirely leave me. I sometimes regret accepting his phone call, but the conversation helped to strengthen my decision to abandon ship.
I really had to fight myself after that conversation, as I was very aware of what was going on within him by that time. He unknowingly confirmed all that I had sensed, all that I had picked up on. How can you trust someone who will always put themselves, their feelings, their needs ahead of you? You cannot stay open to someone like that. You must protect yourself, your heart. Put your compassion to the side and preserve your mental/emotional health.
__________________________________
In my experience, narcissists do not like being alone.
Narcissists have lots of demons inside, more than most people. Narcissists are unable to face these demons, come to terms with them, and shift them into a better place by doing inner work and healing. They simply are incapable of doing this.
These demons are running loose inside the narcissist, out of control.
Instead, narcissists try and suppress their demons. But suppressing the demons can cause a lot of internal pressure to build up. Hence, they need a target to project these demons onto.
The only way the narcissist can relieve the pressure of the demons, is through projection. Otherwise the narcissists implode from the pressure, and obviously they can't have that.
Therefore, narcissists struggle being alone, because being alone means they are without a scapegoat to project their demons onto.
They need someone to take the pressure off them, and absorb this. In other words, they need someone to take on their pain… their demons. (HINT: new supply)
And this person should always be at their service.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcs-scared-to-be-alone?no_redirect=1
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What is behind a narcissist’s mask?
A narcissist is a broken human operating in emergency mode in which every now and then there is a short circuit and burnout of subsequent circuits. Narcissist is a broken robot who blames everyone for what he/she does.
Control, deception and manipulation are the essence of his existence. Behind the mask there is dirt, emptiness, a black hole, contempt, hatred, evil in its purest form.
An incomplete asymmetrical smile that a narcissist will give you at times when a normal person would not smile. Behind the mask is an absent, predatory blank stare without expression, dilated pupils like demon eyes. Behind the mask hides darkness, pain and suffering, the need to fit in with the crowd and spill the pain onto others.
Behind the mask is lack of love, lack of honor and respect. Behind the mask hides a monster, a demon. Behind the mask is insecurity, low self-esteem, abomination, complete lack of moral principles, lack of compassion, lack of conscience and lack of remorse, fear, shame, anger, sarcasm and irony, delusions, fear of abandonment and rejection, meanness, shame, madness , wickedness, envy, selfishness, lack of empathy, conscious choice of evil.
A narcissist is a parasite and over time you start to see him/her for who he/she really is and not for what he/she pretends to be.
______________________________________
I have spent the majority of my life amongst narcissists. Let me tell you what I learnt:
Sheer evil is definitely behind that mask
You will be played in a very unique way. Played so that this evil being extracts from you the required supply
Someone that will create unique damages to your health, emotions and mental well being.
Someone that will destroy your important relationships for you
Someone completely devoid of any moral values
Played for own advantage. And you will most probably be discarded in the most harshest of ways.
Become smart please. Cut them off your lives. That is only when you start to experience peace and start your healing journey.
It is crucial for each and every single human being inhabiting planet Earth to know this important information. The way planet Earth is devolving, we are all bound to meet narcissists one day or another.
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A narcissist is someone who is broken inside and acts in a panicked and erratic way. Sometimes, their mind gets overwhelmed and causes them to break down even more. They blame others for their actions and don't take responsibility for themselves.
They thrive on controlling, deceiving, and manipulating others. Underneath their confident facade, there's darkness, emptiness, and a deep hatred. They wear an unsettling smile that's different from a normal person's smile. Behind their mask, their eyes show no emotion, like the eyes of a predatory creature.
Inside, they lack love, honor, and respect. They hide their true self, which is like a monster or demon. They are insecure, have low self-esteem, and lack moral principles, compassion, conscience, and remorse. They feel fear, shame, anger, and jealousy. They can be mean, selfish, and lack empathy. They make conscious choices to do evil things.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-behind-a-narcissist-s-mask
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Top 10 Behaviors and Traits of The FEMALE Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mNsvKgZxHQ
@decipher8057
29 minutes ago
Stop talking about my mom.
@kristinaprice8727
1 hour ago
You nailed my mum.
@kristinaprice8727
1 hour ago
Entitled to take your life as she gave it.
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The only way to win the game is to stop playing
Stop Letting Narcissists
Destroy Your Peace
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZHZ6sR3PdE
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Only victims of narcissistic abuse will truly understand, and even we are shaking our heads in disbelief. We get it and yet we don’t. It’s truly unbelievable the new lows these people will go to.
Narcissists Have
No Limits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mRK2f99eF0
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:sam2gun:
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:tello:
"Whilst I was Channel Surfing, I found this Jem of a Psycho Narc on the move." :smee!: :sniper: :rofl: :lmao: :duckling: I blame the mother...
The Strangler - Official Trailer |
1964
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLm2HhhnlA0
Storyline
Leo Kroll, a lab technician in a large unnamed city, is responsible for the strangulation murders of several young nurses. He feels that in some twisted way, he is getting back at his overbearing shrew of a mother. Leo also kills the nurse who is taking care of his mother in the rest home she is staying at. As a result, Mrs. Kroll dies from a heart attack. He also kills an arcade worker whom he feels can identify him.
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@searchforthestrangler5034
9 months ago (edited)
A fine movie made at the time when the real Strangler had still not been captured in Boston.
________________________________
Buono Showcase
dougdoepke12 May 2013
It's a Buono showcase. His restrained portrait of an unattractive, mother-hating serial killer is a grabber. No wonder he loathes his bed-ridden mom. Obviously, she's brow-beaten him his whole life, taking what little self-esteem he ever had.
Now, at thirty, he lumbers around like a fat rhino among sleek gazelles, picking off single women one-by-one and leaving cheap arcade dolls in their place.
Somehow in his twisted mind, however, she won't stay dead. No matter how many times he kills her, there she is back again in her bed, making whining demands. He's almost a figure of pity as much as loathing, and it's to actor Buono's credit that he manages to create the difficult mix.
I like the cops here, especially Sgt. Clyde (Barron). They come across more like real cops than the usual. At the same time, their interviews with suspect Kroll (Buono) are little gems of thrust and parry. Director Topper films in straightforward fashion, without the sinister lighting that might be expected, but with good judicious use of close-up.
This is not a slasher-type movie. In fact, despite the lurid material, the movie comes across more like a dark psychological study than a horror film, thanks mainly to Buono's shrewdly calculated performance and Topper's refusal to play up the violence.
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FEATURED REVIEW
6/10
Forgotten Thriller
This low budget effort with Victor Buono ought to be some sort of cult classic but somehow has fallen off the radar. While not quite a proto-slasher, the film's protagonist has several of the tropes that distinguish the genre: psycho-sexual disfunction with an Oedipal basis; social awkwardness/sexual frustration with the opposite sex, and a kinky fetish, this time out for carnival-prize dolls.
No blood or gore (that's why the film is called "The Strangler" instead of "The Slasher"), but there is an approach to the sexual element of what Buono's character does that must have been daring at the time: Buono's climaxing as he undresses one of the dolls he won at the arcade is no less shocking for the fact that we only see his reaction in close up from the neck up.
There's also a police procedural element that gives the hint of a giallo, although the film hardly suggests that genre in style or design. An intriguing character study of a disturbed individual operating in broad daylight that deserves a bigger audience than it has.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058622/?ref_=tt_mv_close
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Of course they constantly act as the "victim" and constantly claim you're the villain. Because "You are only rebellious in the eyes of those who can't manipulate or control you."
Why The Narcissist HATES
You! Personalities Narcissists
Do Not Like Whatsoever!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRKm_M3ZKJk
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They hate themselves thru you.
Yes, The Narcissist
Hates You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzwFk9LzU6A
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It’s amazing how nice and charming they are in the beginning. It’s amazing how good at faking the way they feel until they realize that you love them. Once they know you’ve fallen in love it’s all over. Their true self started coming out!Yes, Narcissists Can Change - Here's How :rofl: :lmao: :roflmao: :sick:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y0A4GxX5Io
"The best hope for a narc is no hope at all."
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:foot: :badfinger: :troll2:
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"They aren't looking for a partnership or trying to build a life with someone. They are looking for someone who will do things solely for them." Discarded By The Narcissist: Why It Happens, What to Do About It :buttkick:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTHQezVsq1g
@7superswede
5 years ago
''The narcissist is stuck with the person they hate THE MOST; themselves''- BRILLIANT!!!
@elizabethparker9507
5 years ago
Never give them the time of any day ever again
@ifeanyiarua9856
4 years ago
You can never make them happy no matter what
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With narcissist it's like the old saying "Damned if you do and damned if you don't".
Narcissistic Relationships: Can You Be
The Perfect Supply ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj_DIQoBbWU
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Is it because narcissist can't feel the love, that's why they keep torturing people in hope of making people show how much they love them and hoping that they can feel something?
You’re talking about someone that is typically not conscious of their feelings or motivations. Narcissists DO “feel the love”, or what they think is love. Most of them do not fully realize that they are not experiencing love in a “normal” way. If what you feel is all you have ever felt or known, how would you know that it isn’t normal?
When you say “hoping that they can feel something”, you’re implying that narcissists don’t feel anything. Narcissists experience intense emotions. They feel plenty, they just feel it in a disordered way.
When a narcissist idealizes someone and that person falls in love with them, it feels like love. The narcissist truly believes that they are in love. They feel validated and important and it is a satisfying, intense, euphoric experience. They “torture” people when that fantasy crumbles.
They think it’s the other person’s fault.
They don’t realize that they were never actually in love and they don’t realize that they had ridiculous expectations that were doomed to fail. They are angry and disappointed. So they punish you. It has nothing to do with trying to get anything out of you. They’re just angry that you didn’t fulfill their perfect fantasy.
When they manipulate you, they are trying to put their world back in order. They are trying to get you to read their script, whatever that script is, so they can believe what they want to believe and feel what they want to feel. Their life is like a movie about them, and you are a character in the movie.
You are supposed to read your script in order to tell the story that they have already written. If they are torturing you in an effort to get you to do something, it’s because you aren’t reading your script correctly and you are messing up their story.
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If I’m reading this question correctly - and perhaps I am not - I am trying to identify what kind of person would think or believe that torture is an effective means to force a person to love them.
Narcissists don’t think or believe that. Narcissists are remarkably logical, usually analytical and quick to grasp a situation. Besides, they aren’t necessarily looking for love the way most people understand it, they are looking for a proxy of love, in the form of admiration, status and an absence of criticism. That’s what love looks like to a narcissist.
They know - as most “normals” do as well - that torture is not likely to get them what they want. They’re not stupid. They are observant and they can quickly figure out if you are going to be able to give them what they need and want, and be consistent about it.
If you feel that you are being “tortured” by a narcissist, it’s because you failed to provide the admiration, status and support for their self-esteem.
I think your question is one big ball of projection. It is not the way a narcissist thinks in spite of what you might have read on Quora or seen on Youtube.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-because-narcissist-cant-feel-the-love-thats-why-they-keep-torturing-people-in-hope-of-making-people-show-how-much-they-love-them-and-hoping-that-they-can-feel-something
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Why do narcissists act like they don’t want you when they do?
Because they are spoiled, selfish, brats. They only ‘want you’ as long as you provide them w/some service (supply). They do not care about you. They want you to want them. They want you to be available for them whenever they want. They want you to give give give.
But - they don’t want YOU! It is not and “act”. It is who/what they are. You are nothing more to them than something to use at their whim.
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Because, they do not want you.
I can feel into why you are asking this question and I am sorry to be the bus that hits.
A narcissist does not want you once they ‘have’ you and that is normally during if not right after the ‘love bomb’ session ends..
Once had, you are done, spent, in the bag.
They act indifferent to you from that moment onwards, with, maybe some crumbs here and there to keep you hot on their tail.
In reality, they couldn’t wouldn’t give a sh!t about you if you were to drop off the face of the earth.. There are other people to take your place.
You see, the life of a narcissist is only ever lived through the eyes of the ones that adore them.... Makes them feel big, powerful, the almighty.
Might sound like I am exaggerating in the above statement.. sorely, sadly, I do not.
The best way to counteract a narcissist who acts like they don’t want you, is to close the chapter for them and not act like you don’t want them, but to mean it.
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The truth is, they don’t want you.
Not long-term, anyway. You are replaceable, don’t convince yourself otherwise. These disordered people have no attachment to people. They are always looking for the next thing. They don’t want you. The sooner you understand and accept that, the sooner you can extract yourself from this very abusive and eventual heart-destroying situation. xo
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It’s their typical manipulative control tactics to keep you hooked and confused. It’s not really you they want, rather the needs you can fill for them. Also the validation that they’re superior and winning at whatever game they’ve cooked up to prove it.
Always be skeptical of how they appear or present themselves. It’s often the opposite of what’s underneath. Ignore words and appearances, actions more accurately display true intentions eventually.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-act-like-they-don-t-want-you-when-they-do
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Will the narcissist abuse the new supply?
A narcissist abuses anyone and everyone that gets close. The reason they “love-bomb” a person is to make them dependent and submissive. Someone who falls in love with a narcissist will sometimes put up with a lot. Most partners of narcissists are not aware their partner is involved with anyone else.
Narcissists need people because they are sometimes willing to provide the aggrandizement that they crave. They do not actually “fall in love” because they are incapable of attaching to another human being in a meaningful way.
Yes, the narcissist will abuse the “new supply”.
__________________________________
Yes, absolutely.
They will use the same tactics as they used on you, or possibly worse, as they’ve learned new things after you. It’s also why you’ll almost for sure get hoovered, as they devalue the replacement, and they will still need attention. They will carpet bomb old supply to see who might come back for another round. This will also be used to triangulate and torture the replacement.
____________________________________
Every single human being gets treated the same by the NPD.
They follow a predictable pattern. It’s not something that they plan; it’s just something that happens, basically without their will. At least they are not conscious about it. I will clear those things up... keep reading.
Their pattern is:
Idealization aka Love Bombing or obsession-Basically when this happens, the NPD starts to get obsessed with the new person, because the new person brings them excitement. They crave on drama and excitement, and they constantly stroke their ego. This is the closest the NPD will ever feel like being in love. Basically in reality what happens is the Narcissist is not loving the victim, they are incapable of love.
Emotional/Affectionate Empathy, they simply love the way the victim makes them feel about themselves, it’s all about them. Idealization is an unconscious process that just happens. Imagine a kid buying his favorite jacket, and getting obsessed with the jacket, the kid on his mindset thinks that he loves the jacket, he has no idea that he is obsessing over that jacket, however keep in mind the kid loves the way the jacket makes him look.
Devaluation- After a period of time the kid starts to get bored of the jacket. This happens consciously. Would the kid have imagined that he would get bored of his favorite jacket?
Absolutely not, it just happens.
The narcissist gets bored of the victim and the relationship ends in here. They almost never discard, they just vanish. Now the victim was on pedestal and living on cloud 9, suddenly the person that they loved vanished and disappeared. The person that they loved started going cold on them, ignoring them, being less affectionate, showing no interest, while the victim is left on addicted to their love.
Now this is where the things gets tricky. The victim starts to beg, plead, cling for their one inch of attention while they are bored and they keep ignoring. The victim constantly calls them on their toxic behavior. This opens up the victim's vulnerabilities and the narcissist manipulates, refuting everything that they did. The victim keeps sticking to their side constantly seeking for a closure, answers and something that never existed.
How are they supposed to give you answers when they have no idea what is going on, when they never felt the things you felt because they are incapable of feeling those things? They have no answers to give because they never existed. The more the victim wants them the more they withhold it, because that feeds them attention; they live for the spotlight.
I dated one for 4 years. I wrote 5 long ass texts trying to make sense of what she was doing, pouring my heart off, my every emotion. I never got a single closure or answers. That’s what left me more confused back in the days, because I was hoping the person that I once knew will be back, while I never knew the real person.
I only knew her mask or facade. The more I craved for answers, the more I got manipulated. She could shoot herself and never give me the answers, because she knew deep down inside how much I want them. So basically everyone will follow the same fate, no matter what.
The kid will get obsessed with his favorite toy-get bored and throw the toy away in the box, then take it back whenever he feels like doing it, because the toy is his possession. So learn to value yourself and learn to be a smart toy, you are a human being and you deserve better.
Do not allow anyone to view you as their object. That’s the best advice I can give. Learn to grow from this experience and go on with your life. You will save yourself a heartbreak and tons of mental and emotional abuse.
https://thenarcissistandyou.quora.com/Will-the-narcissist-abuse-the-new-supply
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The disturbing thing is they act on your emotions so you have to be emotionless to keep peace. It's like living with a wild animal.
Stop Explaining to
The Narcissist!
This Works Better!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0sxnUSTJa8&t=60s
@adrianrosas5741
4 years ago (edited)
“Unless you like having 6hr arguments over nothing”...... I remember those days
@imaninfjer6763
4 years ago
I've finally learned this with my narcissistic sister. Don't play the game. Leave them to their misery. My anxiety has disappeared with this attitude.
@BibleRevelation2012
4 years ago
They are fighting themselves, not you.
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The best revenge is living well!
How to Take The Ultimate
Revenge on a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_AUiSp_TwY
@MeCynthiaAnn
4 months ago
I came across this, and I thought I would share it
————-
This might be hard for some to hear…it’s verbal abuse, not love. When an abuser tells you or anybody else that they love you, let’s be clear…that’s not love, that’s abuse of another kind. You see, an abuser uses words like a fisherman uses bait…to catch you and reel you in. An abuser abuses with words, words that are designed to deflect, distract and deceive…”I love you” coming from someone who destroys you — mentally, emotionally or physically, by neglecting or by betraying you, is like a hungry lion telling the deer, “let’s pray before we eat.” Prayer before dinner sounds good unless you’re the dinner. The words “I love you,” sound good unless the person saying it delights in destroying you: “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6).
Don’t confuse an abuser’s words with an abuser’s beliefs…when the words contradict the behavior, it’s like an apology without change — it’s manipulation. Abusers verbally abuse with baited words to manipulate, control and disarm…to reel you in. Abusers say what they know you or their flying monkeys want to hear…Jesus recognized this false confession: “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (Matthew 15:8).
When you are the prey, don’t think that someone who prays over their dinner with beautiful words is any less of a threat. Words are abusive when they prey on your emotions. And let’s be clear…the words don’t have to be, “I love you.” Any words that cause a victim to cling to false hope, believe a lie or trust evil, is verbal abuse.
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Feelings are Facts.
The Narcissist's Opinion
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jWTjkZtSbg&t=158s
@micahcraven6576
11 months ago
Tips for arguing with a narc- Don't. You aren't even presented in the conversation - you're just a means to an end - something to validate their internal echo chamber. You can have the same conversation five times but if the narc feels inner guilt and shame around the subject- then what they formulate becomes the only reality.
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Why can't you reason with a narcissist? Everything is twisted to make them to be the ones in the right.
You cannot reason with narcissists or other manipulators high in narcissistic traits because, when you voice concern on Matter A, which can be something completely reasonable, honest, and transparent, they pretend you are actually implying something completely different – Matter B, which happens to be something of great offence to them.
The narcissistic person, by wholeheartedly believing (or pretending to believe) that you implied Matter B, you have “attacked” them in some way in their books, even though they (purposely) missed the point completely to try and gain leverage, they are now in their full right to try and deliver punishment upon you, or so they think anyway.
It's a pretty filthy habit they have – always priming their targets up to be on the receiving end of that which they struggle to cope with themselves.
_________________________________
Because that is their way of being. It’s precisely, exactly how they operate, in order to obtain their goal of fuel, Supply, superiority and control.
If they came with an instruction book, or if they were an ad on TV, the fine print would say….
WARNING! Repeated and extended exposure to the narcissist is at your own risk. Excessive and prolonged use of narcissistic interactions has been shown to cause confusion, trauma-bonding, PTSD, and, in some cases, even brainwashing. You may find Narcissists are habit forming. In lab rats, they have been known to cause panic attacks, heart attacks and cancer.
Do not expose the narcissist to extreme emotional outbursts, or you will likely be punished (by them). They are known to be easily aroused into anger, jealousy, rage and attacks of violence.
Check with a medical professional before engaging with a narcissist, to see if they are right for you. It’s always a good idea to have a physical assessment by a medical professional, prior to engaging with the Narc. Always follow your doctor’s orders.
Side effects include, and are not limited to:
Feeling crazy. Depression. Isolation. Loss of finances, your things, jobs, friends, anything of value. You may no longer enjoy things or people that you used to enjoy. Wondering if your friends still like you. Questioning why the Narcissist said what he said, and what you should have said or done differently. Ruminating… Yes, for hours, days and weeks, about the same thing, over and over.
Restlessness. Insomnia. Weight gain. Dementia, or believing you have it. Insanity. Trauma-bonding. PTSD. Change in personality. Guilt. Shame. Remorse. Being fatally flawed. Being wrong, oh-so-totally-wrong. Feeling that you’re a bad person.
Lack of ability to win an argument. Lack of logic, so they say. Over-thinking. Over-working. Feeling like a slave to the Narcissist. Feeling different than you used to be. Feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore. Feeling like no one likes you. Feeling like you should try harder. Feeling like it’s your fault. Everything.
Weight loss. Ill health. Overall feelings of lethargy. Lack of motivation. Bouts of unending crying…. over nothing. Hostility. Anger. Emotional over-reactions. Meltdowns. No interest in life.
Symptoms similar to bipolar where you’re excited and hyperactive one minute, and then depressed, the next. Rapid and major mood swings. Sleeping too much. Not sleeping enough. Nervousness, anxiety. Heart palpitations. High blood pressure.
Feelings of worthlessness. Unending and unrealistic optimism because tomorrow is a new day. Living in your head. Inability to love like you used to. Feelings of inferiority.
Other symptoms which were less reported in studies include: Death.
Take the narcissist into your life only with the approval of your medical professional and seek out their advice if you experience any of the above symptoms. Having a narcissist in your life has been known to be habit-forming. If you find you cannot cope in daily life, we recommend you discontinue seeking out the narcissist, and seek medical advice.
*******************************
Only you can know if the narcissist is right for you! Most people experience joy and happiness and life like no other! Ask your doctor to prescribe you a Narcissist, today, so your life can begin anew!
(I would say I’m joking and have a good laugh if this wasn’t all SO TRUE!!)
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It is a brain disorder, a Personality Disorder diagnosed in the Mental Health field.
Please take a moment and Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder and get an idea what is happening in that person’s head. Also check out how you yourself should interact with them and what to expect from them. Narcissist firmly believe whatever they think is true and since they are the center of their world, no one else’s opinion matters. Don’t even try. Instead set up rules for yourself to maintain a healthy mental state.
https://www.quora.com/Why-cant-you-reason-with-a-narcissist-Everything-is-twisted-to-make-them-to-be-the-ones-in-the-right
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What does it mean when a
narcissist starts being nice after devaluing you?
:runforhills:
When narcissists are being nice to you, it is very dangerous. Narcissists act nice when they want something big from you, don't want you to leave a relationship, or want to show they really love and care for you.
Narcissists being nice, kind, and helpful is to show that you are the problem. Narcissists don't have any problems with you; it's your behavior that makes them angry. Narcissist acts of niceness and kindness confuse victims; in the end, victims of narcissists start doubting themselves.
Suppose narcissists were bad all the time, then it would have been easy for victims to leave relationships. Acts of niceness and kindness keep victims of narcissists in relationships for a longer time.
Narcissists act nice whenever they want benefits; narcissists don't do anything for free.
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You shouldn’t be around if he (or she) has discarded you. He’s nice for the worst imaginable reasons. You shouldn’t even see he’s nice. You should be unreachable, unavailable, not interested. Period.
Show him he can keep his fake niceness.
You should be looking for sincere niceness in authentic humans.
When narcissists are nice, the whole atmosphere gets scary and puzzling.
Did you expect anybody to answer they believe a narcissist is being nice because he loves you and wants you back?
Beware of a narcissist’s sudden love.
___________________________________
Pure speculation guess here.
Because they are not in a total discard phase. They are not through with you yet. Perhaps they are strengthening the trauma bond keeping you guessing about what’s going on. They may just be having fun playing mind games with you. If they are a true narcissist keeping you off kilter and unbalanced, it translates into being in control.
Just making you wonder what their agenda is keeps them front and center in your mind. If they still want to play, that is exactly where they want you. If that is what is happening you need to make a decision.
You have to decide if you are going to keep playing. You don’t have to do much of anything. Follow their lead, wade through their BS and things will return to normal when they decide it’s time. It will stay normal until they decide to play again.
The flip side of the decision is to decide not to play anymore. It will take some work on your part actually a lot of work. If you haven’t already, you need to separate. Next you need to go no contact. Cut all communications between the two of you. Ignore their attempts to circumvent the barriers you’ve constructed and close off any weaknesses you become aware of.
No contact takes a lot of alert awareness. It gives you a chance to clear your mind of the narcissistic fog. It allows you to think clearly without their influence, interference, lies, and manipulations. The peace of mind and knowledge that you are again in control of your life again is your reward for a job well done.
____________________________________
They act like they're "so nice", but the truth is that they use this "niceness" as a weapon. They use it to get their way.
Anything you do or say that is not 100% aligned with what they want, will cause them to label you as "mean" or "negative" or "hostile". They will cry a river over everything you're "doing" to them and will try to get people to see you as the aggressor. You will then be viewed as the problem, because how could you be so cruel to someone so NICE?
Their "niceness" isn't real, because there's an agenda behind it. It's only about getting what they want.
https://psychopathologyandpsychology.quora.com/What-does-it-mean-when-a-narcissist-starts-being-nice-after-devaluing-you
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Narcissists are very secretive. They truly enjoy hiding the truth from others because it gives them a sense of superiority.
Internally they think and feel one thing, while externally, they try to convince you of the exact opposite.
They will do what it takes to keep their little and big lies from you because they want you to believe who they present themselves to be.
In fact, their narcissistic drivers are all agenda-based and are designed to feed the False Self and fictitious character they have created.
I want you to know this more than anything. To never again get taken in and down by a False Self, you need to be a True Self.
You need to heal yourself, to have a Real Self, which means doing the inner work on your Inner Being, and then you will walk through life, never having to deal with this insanity and this Soul destruction ever again.
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What happens when a
narcissist lies to you?
Should you ever catch a narcissist in a lie and confront them, you will certainly face at least one of the four Ds. They will either DENY, DEFLECT, DEVALUATE, and/or DISMISS you.
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That's all they do. The question should be what if one tells you the truth-and the 2 answers to that is die of shock, or realize they're not a true narc. Just have narc traits. A genuine narcissist always lies and looks you straight in the eyes while doing so. It's like blinking—natural. And because they're not stupid they know what they're doing and they don't care. Narcissists are the best of the best as far as liars go. They can fool anybody.
_________________________________________
That depends on what you do about it.
If you do nothing, then nothing changes. The narcissist will continue to lie to you if you will take it.
If you know the person is a narcissist and decide to leave, then what happens is you can then go and Live Your Best Life.
Stay away from narcissists.
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Gaslighting, deflecting, stone walling, silent treatment, blaming, anger, tantrums, more lying, evading, crying, screaming, patronising, demeaning, aggression, disrespect, manipulation, blame-shifting, name calling, swearing, escaping, devaluing, ignoring, deviating, diminishing, hypocritical, raging, uncaring, ignorance, deny, deny, deny, deny, deny and deny again.
You'll get everything but the truth.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-a-narcissist-lies-to-you
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:pepsi:
-
"They don't care about truth!"
If only I had known this before discovering the ugly truth
about that kind of people.
Truths Narcissists
Cannot Accept
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nSk0KnrbBjg
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What are narcissists
like when you are not their target?
:sniperscope:
You may never know who they truly are.
The first psychopath I got involved with (I went to therapy for this one), died recently. On his obituary, people were stating what a wonderful guy he was! Oh yeah! Really wonderful! Such a nice, sweet person, sure.
The zinger was that they also said he was "extremely charming and charismatic."
Ay, there's the rub.
Most psychopaths and NPDs are charming and charismatic, it’s the “mask of sanity” that they all wear.
By the way, you might be wondering why I was looking at his obituary.
I’ve actually been waiting many years for this moment. Does that make me a bad person too? Honestly, when I realised how many years I spent in torment over him, I could care less what anyone thinks about me. This guy almost made me commit suicide.
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Oh - they can be fun to be with. They always want to be the center of attraction. They (overt, anyway) want to push the envelope socially. Be outrageous. Be dramatic.
If you are not a threat and they are in need of supply - they can come across as very generous, caring, funny and intelligent.
You only know them for what they are when you peep behind the mask.
________________________________________
When I’m not the target for the narc, I am invisible to him or he uses me as his sounding board because he is so angry at the current target. He will rant and rage about the target; he will pace, he will vow revenge, and he will seek me out from my safe place at home so that he can tell me all about the new target and why he’s gunning for that person.
He’s relentless. Someone is always his target. There’s never a moment when he isn’t zeroing in on someone.
_____________________________________________
They are absolutely charming individuals.
You think they are full of empathy. They are usually knowledgeable about a lot of subjects, know alot about NOTHING. Very nice to others. They APPEAR to be normal folks. Then you start to notice their stories don't match up, but you give them a pass. It doesn't matter, it's only a meeting. It's only a gathering. You just keep it moving.
You never realize you have met the wolf in sheep's clothing!
https://www.quora.com/What-are-narcissists-like-when-you-are-not-their-target
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:notsmee:
-
How does a narcissist
want you to feel?
A narcissist wants you to feel many ways.
They want you to feel in love or infatuated with them.
They want you to feel like you cannot live without them in your life.
They want you to feel insecure and powerless.
They want you to feel tolerant of their behavior.
They want you to feel willing to do anything for them to be around.
They want you to be available for whatever they need at all times.
They want you to be dependent on them physically and emotionally.
They want you to be blind to what they are and what they do.
They want you to be dependent on them financially if they're wealthy.
This is an unhealthy, toxic relationship that you do not want to continue.
Narcissists want you to feel all these things while they feel nothing for you.
Break the trauma bond by severing all contact, and in time, will feel happiness and grateful. Okay, so that's how narcissists want you to feel, pretty much feel like they're on top and you're at the bottom, like they're superior and you're inferior.
_________________________________
I think I have earned the medal of realizing how these make you feel. Since this may help other victims, here goes:
1. Confused
2. Depressed as nothing you will ever do is ever good enough
3. Sad because of the toxic environment
4. Uneasy. What will happen during today, the next hour or the next minute?
5. Frustrated. Why should I live my life dealing with negativity?
6. Angry because of the continuous lying and gaslighting.
7. Traumatized. The raging alone is to run away from!
8. Disgusted. Why do humans choose to live such a low quality life? Why do they abuse their children?
9. Humiliated. When the narcissist wants to devalue you in a unique manner, rest assured that they will invent the perfect humiliation scenario.
10. The sad realization that I lived a huge lie. This is too gross!
11. Guilty as in me choosing the worst human being to father my children. Yes this is hard to deal with.
12. Incredulous. How come I never realized the game of narcissism much before?
13. A winner. With my simplicity, I realize that I have always lived a noble life even though scapegoated for far too long.
14. Numb as there is no way that I will ever react to narcissists ever again. Who wants supply from me must be joking.
And a serious hunger grows in me every single day to expose narcissism. All human beings must realize their game. And the less victims they find, the more the probability that narcissists have to feed off each other.
And a great believer in Jesus Christ. This is my cherry on my cake.
_____________________________________
Like them.
Less than. Worthless. Unloved.
Trapped, beaten, tortured.
They want you to feel what they feel every single minute of their lives.
Here is the BIG thing you may not have noticed: They don't think about you long enough to care.
Topic at breakfast: me me me me me me me
Lunch: me me me me me me
Dinner: me me me me me me me
You are an appliance.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-want-you-to-feel
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Can a narcissist be defeated?
Absolutely yes.
You have to defeat narcissists by becoming emotionally and mentally independent. Once you become emotionally and mentally independent, it becomes very hard for narcissists to manipulate you.
Truth and constructive criticism act like an acid on narcissists. Always bombard narcissists with truth; narcissists can't handle truth because it hurts their false image. Stand your ground; narcissists get scared when you fight for yourself.
Detach yourself from narcissists. When you are no longer attached to narcissists, it makes them scared. Narcissists are afraid of losing control, power, and authority over you.
Be happy and successful; it makes narcissists very angry. Narcissists are pathologically jealous and envious people; they can't see you doing good. Narcissists live in pain and anger when they see you thriving.
Finally, you have to leave narcissists. After leaving narcissists, go no contact with them forever. Be successful and happy; this will make narcissists feel terrible about themselves.
____________________________________
No.
But you can waste a lot of energy just to give them temporary (and I mean very temporary) whiplash. They are not normal people and will not internalize any moves you make as you would. Besides, if they infect you to the level where you actually exact revenge, that means they have poisoned you. Narcs are complete and utter destruction. If you allow yourself to get stuck in this frame of mind (it’s a normal stage, so I don’t judge yourself) you prevent healing and are CONTINUING to be obsessed with the narc, which is exactly the effect the monsters have on people.
The best revenge is to heal, be happy, let it go over time and in your own time. Heal so hard that they no longer affect you. They become a vague memory, just so you don’t forget what they really are and make the same mistakes. If we don’t heal, we move right on into another covert and it all starts again. We can only do this so many times before we are tapped out.
They are merciless creatures, and each new target teaches them more effectively how to entrap and torture the next target. Most of us have experienced abuse as children, these monsters have no excuse for their terrorism. None.
_______________________________________
Yes.
It’s simple! Here is how to do it:
1. Deflect.
This is an essential skill when dealing with a narcissist because it allows you to protect yourself from their manipulative tactics. Deflection involves redirecting the narcissist's energy back to them. Deflection is not just about ignoring the narcissist's words; it's also about not taking them personally. That is the most important thing. It involves understanding that their accusations, insults, and attempts at manipulation are not a reflection of you but rather a reflection of them.
Remember, narcissists thrive on attention and drama. You already know that if they cannot get a reaction out of you, they will feel defeated and powerless. So, when they try to provoke you, instead of responding with anger or frustration, deflect. Simply deflect. Stay calm, stay composed, and refuse to be drawn into their web of manipulation.
2. Disengage.
Disengaging is all about stepping back and not burning in the fire that has not been set by you. It is about not letting the narcissist push your buttons. It's about establishing boundaries and maintaining them. When a narcissist tries to encroach upon your space physically or emotionally, do not justify, explain, or defend yourself.
You don't have to prove anything to them.
You can simply respond by saying things like:
"We remember things differently."
"If you continue to speak like this, I will not answer."
"I hear you, but this isn't my experience."
"I know my truth, and I am not changing that."
"I am stepping away from this conversation."
"This is not a topic I am going to discuss."
"We can continue when you're ready to communicate."
Remember, you have the right to remove yourself from conversations and situations that are harmful or uncomfortable. You do not owe the narcissist any explanations or justifications. You do not need to respond to their baiting or engage in endless debates. Simply disengage and walk away, and that will burn a narcissist inside out.
3. Decline.
Often, a narcissist will attempt to pull you back into their influence through various means. These can range from hoovering attempts where they feign remorse and promise change to more insidious strategies like gift bombing or charm offensives to make you lower your guard.
When you decline, you're asserting your independence and personal autonomy. You are signaling to the narcissist that you are aware of their tactics and are no longer willing to be a part of their mind games. You're making it very clear that you have your own mind, your own will, and that you see through their tactics.
4. Document.
Narcissists are skilled at gaslighting, at rewriting history to suit their narrative. They will deny hurtful words, dismiss abusive behavior, and make you question your own memory.
Through gaslighting, documentation serves as a vital strategy when dealing with a narcissist, particularly in situations where co-parenting or legal disputes are involved. It functions in two primary ways: documenting the positives and documenting the negatives.
5. Decide to be your best.
Decide to defeat them in the right way. Decide to be your best version possible. Deciding to be your best version possible means making a conscious choice to not let the narcissist's actions or words define who you are or how you feel about yourself.
It means choosing to prioritize your own well-being and your own mental and emotional health above everything else.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Can-a-narcissist-be-defeated-15
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How to write a legal letter of demand?
Type your letter.
Concisely review the main facts.
Be polite.
Write with your goal in mind.
Ask for exactly what you want.
Set a deadline.
End the letter by stating you will promptly pursue legal remedies if the other party does not meet your demand.
Make and keep copies.
Take cover, await the fallout.
-
:marvinmartian:
-
What is a "collapsed narcissist"?
A narcissist is doomed to eventually experience a narcissistic collapse.
This usually happens when they are in old age, everybody has left them, and they are forced to be alone with their thoughts. A narcissist has to be other-focused, meaning that they get their energy from being a parasite on other people.
When that isn't there, they are left to sit there in their thoughts, and suddenly all their repressed trauma comes to the surface, and they experience a narcissistic collapse, which is basically them spiraling into a deep depression where they withdraw and isolate.
And it's a depression unlike anything a neurotypical can feel a majority of the time because the narcissist completely lacks an identity and an internal self-worth. It is just a dark place for them to be. And this is why you don't have to worry about getting revenge on them when they do you wrong, because this happens to all of them.
In very rare cases, there is an awareness from this, but a majority of the time, it's just a deep and spiraling depression. Everybody will eventually leave the narcissist. People do not put up with their kind of abuse forever. They catch on, and they don't want any part of it. LOL.
__________________________________
It's the worst thing that could possibly happen to a narcissist. It often begins when the narcissist, as usual, goes through the cycle of love bombing, devalue, discard, and they discard their most current source of supply or one of them.
And then, suddenly, they realize they can't replace that person; they no longer have the ability to obtain the type of supply that they once did.
Of course, now the narcissist isn't getting the same kind of supplies they've got before. And even when they try to hoover that most recent supply, it doesn't work. LOL.
So, what happens?
The narcissistic supply becomes less and less available.
They become different; they start to reach out to anyone, anything for supply. This launches all their doubts and their fears about themselves and their lives. They go into sort of a "poor me" shock, and this leads to narcissistic rage, where it kind of just spews out on everyone around them.
And before they know it, they might be completely alone, and then they go back into the "poor me" thing, and it's a rotation. Then their self-esteem goes down, their rage comes up, they go into "poor me," and it's kind of an ugly cycle of a collapsed narcissist. LOL.
This is the point at which the false self and the real self sort of come face to face. It's sort of "meat," and it ain't pretty. What's happening is the narcissist's facade has been taken away; the mask is off, the narcissist is outed.
They are unable to continue to put the mask on; the mask doesn't work anymore. People can now see inside. They might literally start to hide; they might move out of town; they might become a completely different person, or they might just really dig their hooks into everyone who still is in their lives. It's what happens when all the fake "calm, cool, collected" mess is wiped away, and the ugly true face of the narcissist shows. LOL.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-collapsed-narcissist
************************
There is no cure for narcissism. Run for your lives.
The Collapse Of A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MntaapzklE
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How can I feel positive again
after narcissistic abuse?
Narcissists appear to their victims as three layers:
1) The actual person, with the actual perceptions and motivations. No one else will ever know much about this person, most of what you’ll learn will be through inference, and little of it will ever make sense, because whatever a narcissist thinks, it’s so different from your thought process that even if you knew how they ticked, you wouldn’t understand it.
It may take years to even realize that this layer exists, since we tend to assume that layer 2, described below, is the genuine person.
2) The facade.
This was the phantom you interacted with. All the drama, mood swings and gaslighting the narcissist puts you through keeps you from focusing too closely on how little the facade offers, beyond a haughty superiority and entitlement, particularly once the honeymoon period is over.
3) The feel-good chemicals the narcissist doses you with through her presence, albeit on-and-off, creating a dependence. This is actually another layer wrapped around layer 2, because even though layer 2 may seem so alluring, you never get a chance to notice the truth about it, which is that it’s rudimentary and dull. You confuse your addiction to layer 3 with an attraction to layer 2. Think of layer 3 as a transparent wrapper.
To review: Your attachment to a narcissist is an addiction. You are glued by substance addiction to layer 3, but, gazing through it, believe you are in love with layer 2, which isn’t a real person. As the spell breaks, you come to learn about layer 1, which is unknowable and terrifying; even after understanding that layer 2 is a facade with no meaning, you will likely transfer your affection for it to layer 1, while still ignoring layer 3, which is really holding you to the narcissist.
The overwhelming emptiness of this situation is unmistakable.
The arrangement is highly painful for the victim, because thinking you’re in love with someone who’s either false (layer 2) or completely obscure (layer 1) while actually having no sensible reason for loving them, is a recipe for intense cognitive dissonance: a war breaks out between different parts of your brain.
Here’s how you will feel positive again: This situation I’ve described is so nonsensical that it’s unsupportable. You will you eventually understand that it is ridiculous, even if you never see it clearly.
The logical part of your brain has the upper hand over the addictive part, for two reasons. First, the addictive part is really stupid and has no arguments to offer in opposition to basic common sense beyond grunts of primal attachment. The other reason? Addiction is boring.
It’s unlikely that you will ever kill off the addiction, but your logical brain grows stronger over time, enabling you to see that the person in layer 2 is idiotic, and doesn’t even exist, while the person of layer 1 is a disordered monster.
The strength of the logical brain will be brought to bear through emotional distance: you will be able to appreciate that you were conned, yet understand that because you are not your thoughts.
The con doesn’t say anything about your worth - this is emotional distance in action; you will gain distance from the narcissist herself, realizing that not only is she dull, she doesn’t even exist as originally conceived; and you will also back away from the situation enough that you will remember how rich life and the world is, and how much else is going on around you which has nothing to do with the non-existent person of layer 2, or the actual person of layer 1, who will never show up to take part in life.
Cultivate detachment.
Don’t try to avoid thinking about it, but watch the feelings wash over you while calmly appreciating their larger insignificance: we all feel bad now and again, and then we feel better a few hours or days later. Accept the feelings will come back repeatedly - some meditators even say “Welcome” as they notice depression crawling toward them - and then detach from the feelings: don’t force them to go away, just watch yourself having them, and note their transitory insignificance. Why act on feelings which have no basis, interest or constancy?
Because there is no rational argument in favor of loving or respecting the narcissist.
No addiction can triumph over a straight look at what was really there: Nothing - no love affair (layer 2 isn’t real) and no partner (there’s nothing behind the eyes of the person in layer 1).
___________________________________
Surround yourself with people who are going to support you and build you up. People who will be happy for you when you achieve something. People who are happy when you are happy.
Get back to the hobbies and activities you enjoyed before the narc came along. Find new interests that make you happy and give you a sense of calm and comfort. I love to read but stopped because of the narc. He made it too difficult for me to take time to read and to concentrate, plus he interrupted me, pulled out my bookmark and was a total jerk about my books. I can’t wait to sink into a book and lose myself again. Find activities that make you smile, laugh and energize you.
Renew faith in yourself by helping others who are experiencing narc abuse. Your insight and experience will help others to escape, plus it will be a wonderful way to close that chapter in your life. You took a traumatic experience and used it to help others. Those on Quora have helped me tremendously by sharing their stories and validating that what I’ve experienced is not normal and isn’t love. You can help others, too.
Tell yourself daily that you are deserving of happiness, love and peace. And you are. For a narc to choose you means that you are an extraordinary person who is kind and compassionate. Know that you are valued and that you did not do anything wrong.
Blessings to you! :rose:
https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-feel-positive-again-after-narcissistic-abuse
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:hijack:
:offtopic: :topic: :mop: :duckling:
Do gun owners actually want to kill somebody in defense of themselves or their home?
Want to, no. Willing to, absolutely.
__________________________________________
Initially, I thought you to be a troll.
I was going to block you. After looking at your other questions I thought better of it.
My philosophy is: It is better to have and not need than to need and not have.
I, personally, believe that no gun owner is wanting to kill anyone. But, should someone break into my home it shows me that they have no regard for the life of my family, myself, or themselves. That is the reason I have guns in my home. It is for protection should the need arise.
_________________________________
No one wants to but don't confuse “want” with "will."
___________________________________
No, it is not the goal. Most realize that death is not like in the movies and want no part of it.
However, that said, I don't want to kill, but, better the bad guys than me.
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NO!!
Most people do not want to kill if someone is in your home that hasn't been invited and you have no idea what his intentions are. They are a threat to you and your family.
Who isn't going to defend themselves or their family?? Well, outside of the few pacifists to just go along with whatever…. and will ever try to hurt another... while probably decent people, they do that: Put their family's welfare above a criminal..
https://www.quora.com/Do-gun-owners-actually-want-to-kill-somebody-in-defense-of-themselves-or-their-home
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:nudierun:
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Do narcissists have weird behavior with food?
Oh my god, yes!
Food has been a huge source of conflict, demands, selfishness, and abuse.
The first time I went out to eat with him, he ordered so much food it filled the table with plates, and it was just the two of us eating. Plus, I don’t eat meat and most of the food was meat. That was the first time he tried to cajole me into eating something I didn’t want.
I had not eaten any animals since I was fifteen. Apparently, that is a challenge to some disordered people. It is as if others’ food preferences or beliefs must be squashed because they don’t align with the Narcy-Narc’s (my son’s creative term—like Marky-Mark—lol) idea of what is right. As if what a person chooses to put in their bodies is offensive to them when it differs from what they do. Really weird.
He offered me meat for years before he finally gave up. But I wasn’t the only one. My daughter is also a vegetarian (raised that way until 3 or 4, and then given a choice). Narcy-Narc once gave her a real hotdog at the river and told her it was soy. She was hungry and ate it. I thought maybe he was concerned about her not getting enough food. Ha ha ha.
A few weeks ago, Narcy made chile verde, a pork dish. He knows damn well that my son-in-law is a devout Muslim and doesn’t eat pork! The kid fasts through Ramadan, and was a Virgin until married. He’s very serious about his beliefs and traditions. Of course, that’s a challenge to any narc.
I even warned him when I saw him making chile that O___ doesn’t eat pork.
That’s ok. He told him it was goat, and joyfully fed the Muslim f*cking pig! It was spiritual rape, in my opinion. And I don’t think that is dramatic. It’s one thing to violate someone’s eating preferences, and another thing to violate someone’s religious practices. I felt so badly that I made my daughter promise not to tell O____ what happened because narc was still here then and it would only hurt him to know.
Who does this? He purposely made a dish he knew would look and smell so good. It’s one of my favorite meals when he makes the vegetarian version. Yummy! Narc knew he could pass it off as goat, because Mexicans often have goat too.
Other minor things with the kids too, like getting them food that was clearly unhealthy just to piss me off, or letting them have an excess of sugar and soda, because he couldn’t stand that I was raising them with healthier food habits.
Narc’s Tai Chi teacher once said "Watch the way someone is with food, and you can tell their character". So true.
That may not be food-policing, but it’s more like food terrorism.
He also had no qualms about stopping for food somewhere with the kids and me, where he knew we would not be able to eat anything, and making us sit there while he gorged on his yucky food.
Nice dad.
Great husband.
NOT.
We were hungry too. Just had to wait for the baby to eat first. Always first.
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Oh yeah.
Food is their god.
Live to eat, not eat to live.
All they ever talk about, boasting about where they’ve eaten. Every conversation would include as least one restaurant they have visited, even if it’s a snack, you have to be told every detail. And if you have gone somewhere to eat, they have to know what you ate, etc. Complete idiots. Total one uppers.
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“Is being unable to digest my own lies, and then barfing them up all over you as word salad weird enough?”
_______________________________________
In my experience food is a big issue. Very picky, critical, almost childlike refusals, tantrums and demands. Usually the first control tactic we learn and mostly outgrow.
______________________________________
I can't speak for all narcissists but mine refused to eat anything I cooked (except sweets). He would complain that I didn't buy the right kinds of food. Every day he would go out to eat. It's crazy.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-have-weird-behavior-with-food
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How do narcissists
shame you?
:deadhorse: :badfinger: :shame: :drama: :troll2:
Shaming is a narcissistic abuse tactic they use to control you. Shaming involves literally pointing the finger at you, shaking the finger at you, and telling you that everything you're doing is wrong. Shaming is a way of humiliating the victim and isolating them because it's the most isolating tool they have to make you feel horrible about yourself.
Narcissists use shaming in many different ways. They may shame you for things you've done or for things that were done to you. For instance, if you got into an accident and broke your leg, instead of expressing concern, they might say something shaming like, "What were you doing on that ski slope? I can't believe you actually went skiing. What did you think was going to happen?"
They constantly reinforce that everything you do is wrong and bad, even if it was something enjoyable. There won't be any support coming from the narcissist; their goal is to keep you isolated and feeling ashamed.
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Narcissists have developed the perfect mask.
A complex web of traits and features, designed to make them come across as normal, desirable and, of course, better than you.
They are uniquely special.
But these traits and features; the mask, is artificial.
Narcissists exhaust themselves, constantly, trying to keep the weakly supported artifice in place.
And then you come along, possessing positive traits, but yours are real, genuine –
you are just being yourself.
The fact you can carry yourself in a positive manner, effortlessly at that, because you are being your genuine self, angers the narcissist.
Their subconscious tells them something must be wrong with them, if they can't be normal and positive whilst at ease.
But they cannot accept this thought.
Accepting any truth as to their imperfection, is too painful for them to bear.
And this is why narcissists are always on the offensive, the attack.
Shaming, belittling you, usually in a subtle back-handed manner, before you have the chance to naturally shine and therefore making them feel shameful.
Narcissists want to erase your humanity, so they can feel more normal in their own skin.
__________________________________
A narcissist might shame you in the following ways:
Strive always to be in control: This can be as simple as impatiently snatching the broom from you when you’re sweeping and doing the job themselves. Refusing to relinquish control or to allow a person to learn at their own pace makes them feel incapable of ‘getting the job done’.
Use condescending stares/eye rolling: A patronising look can communicate a message like “I’m doing you a favour just by tolerating you and allowing you to be around me”.
Snicker and laugh at your weaknesses: That all knowing laugh when you make a mistake communicates how amusing you are in comparison to a person who wouldn’t make the same error. Quite often, the mistake is not even a mistake, but a snicker at something you simply did a different way to how the narcissist would do it. Not uncommon still is being laughed at even if you did something correctly, just to make you question yourself and think the narcissist knows something you don’t.
Speak about you in the third person when you’re present: When you’re discussed with someone else while present, especially in a non-favourable way, it can make you feel both shamed and powerless. For example, “Lisa has been so lazy around the house. She hasn’t done any housework, she just watches Netflix all day.”
When this is said to someone else in your presence, it shines the light on you without actually including you in the conversation. It creates an illusion of two people of ‘higher knowledge’ discussing you: the object of ‘concern’. Firstly, such a statement is subjective (Lisa might have felt a bit sick and watched Netflix for a few hours simply to unwind) and it forces you to either defend yourself or feel shame.
Inflate themselves through story: Sharing stories which paint the narcissist in a highly superior way makes the listeners feel small in comparison. Many narcissists are great storytellers, and in their stories, they are usually strong and superior. An alternative way they boost their image in a story is not just by raising themselves up, but by putting down the person who they are describing in their story.
Inflate themselves through assertion and deflection: A narcissist will avoid admitting weakness or to being limited. The narcissist might begin a sentence with “I never..” or “I always..”. For example, “I never get dumped, I’m always doing the dumping” or “I always get through the queue within ten minutes”. The second statement will come especially as a response to you saying that you had to wait for an hour. This separates them from the ‘luckless fool’, and makes them stand out as special.
Ask critical, rhetorical questions: For example, “Why did you arrange the plates like that?” or “Why are you wearing those pants for?” These questions have no real answer or purpose other than to shine a light on your supposed incompetence.
Refuse to empathise and support: When you share something genuine that’s important to you, the narcissist will shut it down as quickly as possible or simply ignore it. They might simply nod, change the topic, or analyse and problem solve what you are saying. They do this so you cannot influence their emotions. This rejection of your genuine expression makes you feel shameful and unloved. Nothing is overtly done, yet it feels off when you realise that the person to whom you are opening your experience does not care enough to empathise.
Not allow you to set boundaries: A narcissist might assume they know what’s best for you - without consulting you first. They’ll order your drink without asking, make decisions involving you without consulting, open your mail and so on. This objectifies you and makes you feel like the narcissist and only the narcissist knows what’s best for you.
Refuse to go along with your plans or allow you to influence them: The relationship is generally lopsided. They call the shots and decide where to go, what to do and for how long. They rely on the low self-esteem of their target to enforce this. Also, by not giving the target a preference, the narcissist can further erode the target’s self-esteem.
Make unwelcome, supposedly neutral observations: i.e. “You have hairs growing on your ears” or “You know, you’re always the first to finish your food” or “You need to buy new shoes”. This is designed to make you feel self-conscious without seeming like an actual attack.
Feign or exaggerate concern: By exaggerating concern, the narcissist can make you feel like someone who needs help; even though you didn’t feel that way to begin with. Although we do sometimes struggle in life, when concern is exaggerated, we can begin to feel like a basket case; i.e. someone who cannot cope with life. This fake or exaggerated concern normally comes with an accompanying look of worry.
Compare you to others: When the narcissist points out that someone they know can do what you can’t, or is better at something than you, they force you onto a scale of worth. Real or not, it is shaming and can be difficult to ignore.
A man could be trying to put on weight at the gym, and then have his girlfriend point out how muscly her ex-boyfriend was. A parent can (subjectively) explain to their single daughter that every other woman her age is happily married and has children. These subtle comparisons undermine and shame.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-shame-you
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What does full blown
narcissistic personality disorder
look like?
I use my overt stepdad a lot as an example.
It looks like my stepdad asking my mother and I, “ why do you worship a man that killed himself?” My uncle had shot himself six months prior, and we had finally gotten a copy of the picture collage video of him and watched it together.
It looks like a full on rage, in which he clocked his own 16 year old son for eating a dollars worth of candy bars.
It looks like 13 year old me being grounded for two weeks for putting a wet spoon in the sugar bowl.
It looks like him manipulating my first therapist.
It looks like a few pamphlets lying around about boot camp for kids' reform schools, etc.
It looks like being screamed at and threatened for not eating the skin of a fish at dinner, and caving and eating it so the screaming will stop.
It looks like a minor child being denied medical attention by a medical professional, to the point that they are almost hospitalized for pneumonia.
It looks like having to prepare a power point presentation over complementary colors because he can't accept that he's wrong about them and won't drop it, or admit he's wrong.
It looks like a mother and child being kept in fear, because they are both being threatened to be killed, and it's to keep both under control.
It looks like 100%s on tests, but, getting the extra credit wrong and being grounded for it.
I can go on…
The worst thing it looks like though, is that everything looks just fine from an outside perspective. If the walls of the houses we lived in with that man could talk…f*ck.
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You are living with a predictable, yet unstable person, who may blow anything out of proportion and start a massacre against you anytime, but you have no means to know what will upset them and so you cannot prevent it.
You know it’s coming, soon, and the signs are there (he starts showing signs of tension and becomes hypercritical) and them wham! it starts. You cannot even ask them what they want because by doing so you are implying that they will do something wrong and they are too great to accept it and just that is enough for the narcissist go into a rage.
You cannot make plans for your life. You cannot plan “So next week we are going to have a great family dinner” because the narc will probably ruin it all by having a fit of rage in front of all the invited.
You cannot be happy because “Now I landed my dream job and I will save money so I can go to Orlando next year” because the narc will call your boss and tell lies about you, break into your office and break everything, deprive you of sleep, make you go into a psychotic breakdown and you will soon lose your job.
You cannot buy new furniture or decoration because the narc will throw it all across the room and destroy it in the next fit.
You cannot be yourself. You are always walking on eggshells so as to not to give the narc a reason to go into a huge, but eventually he grows bored from not having anything to rage about and will find something to do so anyway. You can only delay the inevitable.
You change your behavior, way of dressing, voice tone, stops doing anything you like and sacrifices everything for the narcissist.
Until he has nothing more to suck out from you and discards you.
____________________________________
To describe this without using too many words:
You meet Peppa Pig, an adorable, lovable character you have wondered all your life. Where they have been? They ask you in not so many overt ways, to ‘feed me’.
However, if you don’t give them what they ‘deserve’ or ‘need’, because you see yourself on a one way street, then Peppa becomes evil, contorted, twisted.
EVIL PIG.
The real person is always lurking beneath and it’s not a pretty encounter if you happen to be involved with them.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-full-blown-narcissistic-personality-disorder-look-like
Evil Pig!
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Rising Above Narcissism ·
Posted by
Conscious Soul
2y
We of the women variety are notorious for trying to “fix” those we love.
Though this comes from a good place, we are inevitably not accepting someone else for who they really are, which puts us at risk to be hurt, disappointed, and let down over and over again.
We who are not narcissists project our goodness onto them, believing they are the same as us.
This is extremely DANGEROUS to do with a evil person because we end up essentially enabling them to continue their abuse.
Lesson to learn: Your goodness is essential to who you are. Cherish that, but don’t confuse it with helping evil people .
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Do covert narcissists experience remorse or guilt after destroying someone's life and reputation?
Nope. Not one drop of remorse or guilt. They enjoy it. It makes them feel superior and so powerful.😨👀 They love to destroy.
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The ones like my current husband, who Deny, Deny, Deny every single hurtful act they perpetrate on their chosen target, don’t seem to feel shame at all.
Why would they? They’ve just rewritten history so that what they said or did never happened. There’s nothing to feel shame for—the target is a delusional liar and probably disordered, but that’s their problem.
They skip off to their next adventure, leaving a heartbroken partner in their wake. They assume, based upon past incidents, that said target will get over it and that life will go on just as it has for most of their relationship. And in most cases, that’s exactly what happens.
__________________________________
Are you kidding?
This is the apex.
The pinnacle.
These are the “salad days” for them.
They do not destroy you unless you deserve it.
They really think you deserve it.
Let’s flip this around.
The narcissist has done all these godawful things to you—-and you discover that you can exact revenge. Pretty easily too. And no one will know it was you.
Now you might be a noble person of great character and pass on this opportunity.
But some people might take it.
For a moment think of all the terrible things your narc did to you and be honest—-wouldn’t a little revenge feel pretty good right now?
With no consequences for you?
I bet it would.
This is some approximation of how your narc feels after they’ve destroyed you.
Because even though you KNOW you don’t deserve it, and you KNOW they are the bad one, they think it’s YOU who is trying to destroy them—-it’s part of their protective delusion.
They honestly think you deserve it. As honestly as you think they do.
That’s why they don’t feel guilt. They can’t feel shame (hardwired to avoid it), so they transfer all of it to you.
Your destruction is just and right.
Now do you understand what we mean by.......
D - I - S - O - R - D -E - R -E - D ?
https://www.quora.com/Do-covert-narcissists-experience-remorse-or-guilt-after-destroying-someones-life-and-reputation
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Here's Proof of Why Silence
is the Most Impactful Revenge in a Narcissist's Life
:zip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fr8PoqSDcz8
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I said " I've turned the 'I Care' button off."How To Make A Narcissist
Go Bonkers :bounce:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpUly5CUy9U
Page 18 :bowboy: :superhero:
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What are covert narcissists afraid of?
Being found out.
They can’t stand to let anyone else in on their secret life of deceit while they parade themselves as the victim. That and really looking at themselves in a mirror…in the eyes, not just while they preen and primp, but having an honest conversation with yourself in the mirror…they can’t do it.
Example: my CovNarc used to ask me what Skype was for and to help him change his ringtone because he didn’t understand smartphones…turns out he plays dumb on purpose so he can lead multiple ladies on at once and WOW, was he a hacker and a half…he just didn’t realize that I’m smarter than he is.
I love the screenshots that I have of his multiple accounts and the chicks he was having online long-distance full romances with…I showed them to his face and he told me I was a “f***ing nutbag” and making it up. Staring at the evidence!! I could go on for days and we were only together for 10 months. I truly believe my ex falls under the psychopathic covert narc heading for certain. I’ve never met another human so devoid of a soul.
When I looked him in the eyes and said “I see you!” the rage and hatred that flashed in his eyes…I’m lucky I survived. He was driving, speeding down the freeway and telling me he was going to shove me out of the car and kill me and leave me on the side of the road…That was his reaction all because I knew who he really was now. I have a 5 year protection order from a judge signed last week.
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Covert Narcissists don't have their own personality. They live through others. Think about this for a while.
CN have lots of fears. Their main fear is that you're doing ok and have forgotten about them. CN cannot cope with this reality as they need you to be reacting to their theatrics.
Other fears: getting too close to their real self. They are afraid of feeling any emotional pain. They are afraid of you being stronger than them because they know they are phonies. They are afraid of not having someone to mimic…They are afraid of getting close to anything real. They don't attach to people; they live through them. They don't love; they pretend to love. There exist a deep emptiness within them. They are afraid to face the truth.
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Covert narcissists fear self contained people. They only feel comfortable when they have some kind of leverage over you, when you have some kind of emotional neediness they can exploit.
If you are happily going about your business, you make the narcissist feel irrelevant, powerless, impotent. This is real ghosting — they are nothing more than a phantom. They can't affect you, but they crave your attention — you can affect them. Self containment takes practice — begin now by doing things for yourself.
In particular, calming yourself down.
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Covert narcissists, like other individuals with narcissistic traits, often have deep-seated insecurities despite their outward appearance of confidence and superiority. Some of the fears that covert narcissists may experience include:
Fear of Rejection: Covert narcissists may fear being rejected or abandoned by others, which can stem from their fragile self-esteem and constant need for validation.
Fear of Failure: Covert narcissists may have a strong fear of failure because they tie their self-worth to external achievements and validation from others.
Fear of Inadequacy: Underneath their facade of superiority, covert narcissists may harbor feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness, leading to a fear of being exposed as not as perfect as they present themselves.
Fear of Vulnerability: Covert narcissists often have difficulty being vulnerable or showing their true selves to others because they fear being judged or criticized.
Fear of Losing Control: Covert narcissists may fear losing control over their image, relationships, or situations, as this threatens their sense of power and superiority.
Fear of Intimacy: Covert narcissists may struggle with intimacy and genuine emotional connections because they fear being truly known by others and losing their perceived sense of control.
It's important to note that each individual is unique, and not all covert narcissists will experience the same fears to the same extent. These fears can contribute to the maladaptive behaviors and coping mechanisms commonly associated with covert narcissism.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-covert-narcissists-afraid-of
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How do I find value after
narcissistic abuse?
Here goes:
Silence to me is PEACE. Peace in caps please as I had longed for that all my life.
FREEDOM! So much of that!
These two alone already make for an awesome life.
Focus more on the self. View yourself like an eroded human being. Build it up all over again. Learn to love yourself with a passion.
Spoil yourself when you feel you deserved it.
Be kind. This world needs that!
Smile more!
Be positive! Today may be depressive but tomorrow something good is gonna happen!
Enjoy a simple life.
Be authentic.
Go for walks in nature. So very refreshing.
Get a pet. They will show you loyalty like no human being can.
Keep your eyes open. Live life more alert and watch out for those that need you.
Carrying a shopping bag, holding the arm of an old lady. At times we are too blind whilst living.
___________________________________
Firstly, I admire that you are trying.
Narcissistic abuse is potentially fatal. You are still here and your life-spark has not been extinguished by their incredible maltreatment. Respect.
Finding value again is a slow and painful process. Patience with yourself is key because essentially your idea of self will have been obliterated.
It starts with paying deep attention to your inner world. What activities/ ideas/ connections bring you warm feelings? These feelings will be whispers at first, so you have to create the quiet space for them to arise. Follow the threads of those whispers, even when it is basic stuff like “I really like tea and not coffee” or “being near water is soothing”. Write those things down.
For me it helped to write out everything I remembered liking in the past and feeling into whether I still did. Sometimes our preferences change. Our values change less, so exercises that help you find out what they are help too.
Sometimes narcissistic abuse puts us on a new path, but that path can take years to reveal itself. You have to be attuned to your inner voice, the whispers first. In Taoism they call it living from the inside outward.
Often, we end up in narcissistic relationships because we live the other way around - from the outside (what do YOU, dear narcissist, need) in. Often we have been trained not to listen to our own inner voice and it's needs and intuitions. We've been told we are TOO needy by people who put their needs first above everything. We've been told our intuitions are wrong or that we are being oversensitive.
Learning to listen to your inner voice can also put you face to face with your inner critic. That critic is an interlocutor, and not your own inner voice. Your own inner voice is calmer, more curious and compassionate - and has often been drowned out.
I wish I could offer advice that worked quickly, but there isn't any that really works long term. Part of why we end up with such people is ignoring our own inner cues and feelings we don't deserve better treatment.
We have to learn to value and treat ourselves as we value and treat others. Think of how supportive and forgiving you were to that toxic individual! Be that forgiving and supportive to yourself. With yourself, there will actually be results.
Once we can truly connect with our inner compass, our values become clearer on their own.
Wishing you healing and much much strength.
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By realizing you never valued yourself before narcissistic abuse.
You can’t find something you never had.
You have to create it.
All the narcissist did was exploit your baseline state of emotional health, which was dictated by an unrealistic expectation that someone like them could make you happy (a desire likely put there by a caregiver who you never realized was exactly like them) and make it worse by tricking your brain into thinking they could make you happy if you could just manage to get their approval and validation, just like you tried to get all those years from your caregiver.
And just like your caregiver, the narcissist currently in your life never plans on giving it to you, either, but it tickles them to no end to know this and watch you try.
It also makes them feel important, powerful, and clever, because they know something you don’t, and that is, that you are doomed to forever chase the unobtainable.
And what kind of person continually pines after the things they can’t have, wasting precious time, never learning any lessons, and taking everything they do have for granted?
If you’re thinking, “people with authentic inherent value,” you’d be wrong.
Narcissists do that.
But wait, so do we, as the victims of their abuse! How can this be?! We aren’t narcissists.
Because that’s what was modeled for us by the people who conditioned us to think we have no value, who set the stage for us to continue to look for it in the very same types of people as they are, which is why we find ourselves in this constant cycle of unhealthy romantic relationships as adults after being raised by narcissistic parents.
Realizing that there are parts of us that are similar to those who have abused us isn’t an easy pill to swallow, because no one wants to be like their abuser, and no one wants to admit that they played a part in the abuse they endured at the hands of those crummy people.
But we must if we want to heal. It’s mandatory!
Once you fully acknowledge and embrace the parts of you that you’re not proud of, instead of ignoring them like you did with your parents and partners (which by the way, only further delayed ever seeing those things in yourself), then you can work to ameliorate yourself of those qualities, and in doing that, you will find your worth, your strength, your ability to be happy and love yourself, and those are the things we never had before that we can now take pride in and value.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-find-value-after-narcissistic-abuse
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How can you prevent narcissists from bringing
you down?
Much easier said than done, but try not to take anything they say personally, no matter how much it stings.
I know it’s not easy to hold your tongue when someone is trying to get your goat, but it is worth it to not give them the supply they crave.
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Narcissists devalue you to make themselves feel better.
It’s little passive aggressive comments mostly.
Just realize that these people are envious of you and that you being you makes them jealous.
Remember this always:
Narcissists are afraid of being themselves.
They want you to see them for this fake person that they know they are not.
You being yourself makes him jealous and envious and they want to destroy you because of it.
So just know that when they are making comments that are negative towards you that you are doing something right and good.
And see these comments as an example of your power and goodness that you are shining into the world !!
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If you have been conditioned and prepared to deal with narcissists, from past experiences, there are limitations on the harm they can cause you because you would have trained your boundaries into a sturdy position. It is a matter of enforcing what you already know.
Of course, you must not get romantically involved with one, because they will make it their life mission to break through your boundaries if you are romantically involved.
But in most other settings, such as work, acquaintances, friendship circles, distant family, etc, there is clear scope for you to keep interactions superficial and high level, while your boundaries are intact, at least for the most part.
The secret (well, not so much a secret) is to not let the 'relationship' go deep – keep your emotions in check, avoiding bondage, apply what you know, and you’re good.
Oh, and never expect much, keep the expectations’ bar low.
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If you have the resources - LEAVE.
They do not learn.
They do not get better.
And as long as you deal w/them, it is depressing. There are ways to ease their control over your life if you must remain in a relationship w/an NPD.
From my personal experience - create a separate life for yourself as much as you can. I kept and maintained all my good friends, exercised (walked and yoga), and did a lot of volunteering (until Covid hit, and then we moved - but I’m looking to get back into it).
OH, and maintain a personal, SEPARATE bank account, so you will have some personal security should you need it!!!!
Create a more healthy personal life as much as you can. Once you take back your life - you will begin to feel better about you. Screw the NPD, they are angry, spoiled, miserable liars…it is ALL them, not YOU!
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It’s hard, very hard.
I took an old friend out to dinner tonight. My husband behaved like a child. We went out at 1pm to celebrate my friend’s Birthday. It was a very nice restaurant but of course my husband made a scene. My friend, I might add, is a man who said to me that he was scared for me by his outburst.
My husband is a narcissist and acts like a spoiled child. I will no longer apologize for my husband. But I am glad my friend saw how he acts. It least now someone else saw his true colors.
You see I no longer love my husband, but I do care about him. He is childlike and mentally ill. He has poisoned his mind with alcohol abuse, no longer drinks hard liquor but the damage has already been done; is super paranoid and he thinks I’m out to get him which is far from the truth.
My daughter has said to me to make him leave. I can’t do that as he won’t leave. Nobody gets how these people are. You tell them over and over again, but unless you witness it, you will never believe it. I have amazing love for our God, speak to him daily, listen to music which helps me.
Now I only work part time, but I’m in a good place. You really can’t love these people because they don’t love themselves so I try not to do anything with him. That’s why I speak to others though Quora, if I can warn one person to not get involved with a narcissist, then I have done my job as a caring and good person.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-you-prevent-narcissists-from-bringing-you-down
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:pigsfly: :rofl: :evillaugh:
NOW TRENDING
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Does America really want this? Trump has made it clear that the Supreme Court is under his control, when they give him total immunity, he takes over, he will bypass Congress, the Constitution, and nothing will get in his way he will rule absolute.
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Take your Democrat fantasies with you when you crawl back under your rock, little troll.
_________________________
Of course not. Trump is our President. Not our Emperor or our King. There's no such thing as an “absolute right.” That's overreaching.
If we gave our President an absolute right to do anything, we'd be begging him / her to abuse their power. “Separate, But Equal. Branches”.
https://www.quora.com/Does-America-really-want-this-Trump-has-made-it-clear-that-the-Supreme-Court-is-under-his-control-when-they-give-him-total-immunity-he-takes-over-he-will-bypass-Congress-the-Constitution-and-nothing-will-get-in-his
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:pirate1: :keelhaul: :walkplank: :roflmao:
:duckling:
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Squirrelington
Hahahahaha!!!! Ain't that the truth!
David Neal
You spill more gas, it doesn't work as it should and you end up taking it off so you can pour gas!
Nick Petersen
Or buying a conversion to the old style.
Dominic Blais
Its not in purpose, it is in practice. They don't do anything to real polluters while regulating dumb sh!t like this. Not the oil companies and fracking companies poisoning the water. Because only fascists get to a point supreme court and EPA leaders. Its not like Green Peace gets to vote for who runs the EPA. Its nazi businessmen who are the problem and want to make sure they don't get regulated.
Glen Freeman
Actually it’s the courts who state that liability is the cost of doing business and that cost is passed onto consumers
Terry Easter Flag-Man
Bought one took it back
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Can a narcissist just walk out after 5 years, leave everything,
and forget the past?
Yes. Mine left just before our 29th anniversary. They can turn everything off and walk out of your life like it was a hotel room.
Things that you thought were shared and important, you suddenly realize meant nothing to them, including you.
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Hell yeah!
That's their thing.
Just out of nowhere you're getting kicked out or they're leaving. No build up or symptoms of a problem. Well besides the normal bullsh!t. There one minute, gone the next.
More than likely they found new supply. You got boring. They could care less about years together, time spent, memories, and most of all..... YOU.
It doesn't phase them one bit that you're crushed or hurt.
They figure you deserve the feelings you are experiencing.
You are nothing to them now. It's like they never knew you, just a stranger.
Narcissist don't store the past, memories, good times, vacations, holidays, etc as we do. They have them up there somewhere but it's too hard to find them. We never had a special place in their head or heart.
We're jumbled in with yesterday's trash, and just like *SNAP* it's over.
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One of the more distressing things that victims of narcissist have to accept, is just how little they mattered to the narcissist.
So yes, a narcissist can leave after 5 years- heck, after 40- leave everything (including pets and children) and forget everything.
You see, it is all about them, and their selfish interests, and to hang with how that makes their partner or children feel. They are finished with that chapter- time to move on to another, shinier, newer model of Supply and treat him or her the same.
So when all you did was love them, care for them, look after them, and sacrifice your youth, your looks, your career, your friends etc. - this is how they are likely to treat you.
That is why I am on this site, trying to tell everyone who is with a narcissist that no matter what you do, and how many sacrifices you make , the narcissist will probably leave you, suddenly, cruelly, for no apparent reason, and without a backwards glance.
For more on how and why this happens, read "Is There A narcissist In Your Life?" Amanda Clymont
Amazon.
She has been where you are- learn what to do now.
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Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health (READ: Illness) condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
While I can provide some general information, it's important to note that every individual is unique, and the behavior of someone with narcissistic traits can vary widely.
In the context of a relationship, a person with narcissistic traits may exhibit behaviors such as manipulation, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to prioritize their own needs and desires above those of others. It is possible for a narcissist to abruptly end a relationship, leave everything behind, and seemingly move on without looking back, as they may not have the same emotional attachment or sense of responsibility towards the relationship or the people involved.
Narcissists often struggle with maintaining long-term, meaningful relationships due to their difficulty in forming genuine emotional connections and their tendency to prioritize their own needs. As a result, they may be more likely to walk away from a relationship without much consideration for the impact on others or the history shared in the past.
If you are in a situation where a narcissistic individual has abruptly ended a relationship and left without looking back, it can be a painful and confusing experience. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional to process your feelings and navigate the aftermath of the relationship.
It's worth noting that while individuals with narcissistic traits may exhibit certain behaviors, it is not possible to diagnose someone with a personality disorder without a proper evaluation by a qualified mental health professional.
If you are concerned about your own well-being or the well-being of someone you know, I recommend seeking guidance from a mental health professional for personalized support and advice.
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Absolutely!
Out of nowhere, they'll give illogical and weird excuses to leave you. Excuses will be like they don't know where the relationship is going, they aren't ready for a relationship, they have to focus on their careers, etc. All of a sudden, they will remember that they have their careers to focus on. This is crap!!
A narcissist won't even care about your feelings.
Even when they will apologise for their actions, they will make it look as if they are obliged to apologize. You will lose your sanity over them. You will try to communicate everything in details yet they will reply with an “OK”.
For a narcissist, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years, any amount of time doesn't matter. When they feel like their so-called “needs” aren't getting fulfilled anymore, they will leave.
Off they go to Greener Supply Pastures.
So when a person leaves you, even after you've made all efforts of saving the relationship, open the doors for them and let them go with dignity. They don't even deserve your anger!!
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-narcissist-just-walk-out-after-5-years-leave-everything-and-forget-the-past
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In the context of a relationship, a person with narcissistic traits may exhibit behaviors such as manipulation, a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a tendency to prioritize their own needs and desires above those of others.
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Narc:
Ron, you don't have any Rights.
You are a squatter.
You are trespassing.
You are living here illegally.
I HATE YOU!
:tello: "You physically BROUGHT me here 9 years ago".
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If narcissism is an incurable brain disorder, don’t narcissists deserve compassion?
No.
They are not sick.
They know exactly what they are doing.
They are evil. They are selfish.
And they WILL f*ck you up!
They are liars. They manipulate you to serve their interests. They do not deserve any compassion and they will never change.
It's the people .. who think they have a brain disorder, which is incurable …they are taking their side.
It's generally therapists untrained in personality disorders.
It's the lack of healing help.
It's the victim blaming.
It's everyone who doesn't understand narcissistic abuse.
Sounds harsh?
Good!
Because any sympathy for them will destroy your life and that is even harsher.
Get tf out.
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Yes, they do deserve compassion.
But, we need to remember that we don't deserve the way they treat us.
One of the most damning things is that when we try to be compassionate to people we forget to love ourselves. And then it starts, the devalueing, demeaning, abuse, etc.
So, in conclusion, be compassionate, but don't forget to love yourself.
This content is available for free and if you're reading this in a paid space or behind a paywall you're being ripped off.
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I think anybody suffering from a chronic condition, be it physical or mental, deserves compassion; compassion is one of the traits that make us human. So yes, narcissists deserve compassion as much as the person battling cystic fibrosis or depression.
As a society we have help and support in place to help individuals with most conditions, practical support, emotional support and medical support. It is there, it is available, just say the word and help can be yours.
Ah, problem.
My ex would never accept help. She has no problem so why should she? It was me that had issues not her. She never did anything wrong, it was my interpretation of her actions that was askew, her actions were normal.
So therein lies the problem.
My compassion led me down the path of trying to help her, to try and work out the issues we were having. Unfortunately this particular path led me to the brink of the abyss, from which I was lucky to escape with my sanity intact.
So I cannot feel compassion for her, as she will do nothing to warrant it.
Instead, I pity her. I pity the paucity of her emotions.
I pity her ability to never feel love like the love I once thought I felt for her.
I pity the hell that she re-lived in her mind everyday and I pity the fact that she will repeat these actions, replay the games, for the rest of her life.
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It's not a disorder that makes them unaccountable.
People who are unaccountable deserve compassion from society and individuals just as society and individuals both deserve to be able to function while unaccountable people are treated separate.
People who are accountable for their actions are just that, disordered or not, they are their own responsibility, not yours,
They know what they do, and before anyone says "They can't help themselves ", ask anyone who's had their inmost core and lives ripped apart by a narcissist for what they had to do to "help themselves" and not shoot the said narcissist in the head.
You may conceptualise the need for compassion for someone who has a diagnosed low impulse control over a distorted emocional vision of the world when you separate it from the control others had to have because of emotional harm and, same as what narcissists where purportedly subjected to, deep trauma,
But the more I read about the subject, the more I can't understand why should any such separation be made.
Either they are accountable or they're not.
And just like with any other condition, this is the only perspective that I'm interested in.
https://www.quora.com/If-narcissism-is-an-incurable-brain-disorder-don-t-narcissists-deserve-compassion
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What are some ways to get a narcissist to admit they are wrong without acknowledging that they were right?
:badfinger: :troll2: :badscore: :stop: :oh!:
Believe it or not... Narcs, can’t admit, or even believe that they are wrong.
What’s wrong with you?! Don’t you know that all Narcs know that they are perfect like Mary Poppins in every way?
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They already know where they are wrong. It would be impossible to avoid it so completely without an understanding of the situation. Admitting blame is what they pathologically avoid and are incapable of.
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Don’t waste your time dear. They will never admit they’re wrong. Remember, that's what makes them a Narcissist… They think they’re superior!
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There is no way to get them to admit that they are wrong.
They will do anything and everything to get around it, including denying that the event happened, turning it around on you by saying that you made them do it, steering away the conversation to bring up some unrelated event where either you did something wrong or where they did something wonderful. If they are publicly shamed whereby there are multiple witnesses to a bad behavior, they may just cut the wronged person off completely in order to avoid apologizing.
They are extremely insecure and ashamed of themselves, and are constantly trying to show the world an ideal image. They have no empathy and don’t understand that it is OK to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. They can’t forgive others for hurting them, so they don’t believe others are really capable of forgiveness either. Their solution therefore is to never BE wrong.
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So, the narcissist was right but you want to get them to admit they were wrong?
Gaslight much?
If this is the case you shouldn’t do this.
You are no better than what you claim they are.
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Ron Culley
It is not possible.
Next question, please….
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-ways-to-get-a-narcissist-to-admit-they-are-wrong-without-acknowledging-that-they-were-right
How do you get a narcissist to see where they are wrong?
It's impossible, if they're unaware of their condition.
An untreated narcissist can't self reflect and acknowledge their shame, so to avoid seeing and feeling it, they use grandiosity to convince themselves and their supplies that they're special, and refuse to accept any form of criticism or blame for anything that they do or cause.
They will project their bad feelings onto you, because you're wrong and it's your fault.
End of story.
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You don’t.
That’s pretty simple.
A narcissist will never see that their ways are wrong and if you’re lucky enough that they actually do, they would never admit it. A narcissist will never actively admit to a mistake unless they for some reason think it would benefit them more than do harm.
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LMFAO! That, will never happen! Narcissists are utterly incapable of finding fault in their actions. You have to understand. They are delusional! They don’t live in reality. They live inside of a fantasy in their mind. Every event that occurs in reality is altered to fit the narrative of this fantasy.
And in that fantasy, you are the SOLE cause of every single event that leads to conflict.
You have a better chance of seeing pigs fly!
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You can lead a horse to water…
Narcissists will never accept blame, but you can make them hurt. If the narcissist understands that you can and will punish certain behaviours, they will be much more careful about how they will behave towards you.
Only able to attach negatively, it should be understood by now that they will hate you forever.
Still, you have things to achieve, and if you must weather the hate of the eternally jealous, so be it.
It's the subtle things that hurt narcissists most.
The gentle exclusions, the implied rejection, death by a thousand paper cuts on the highly sensitive head of their Pathologically Grandiose Self.
By keeping it subtle, you protect yourself from backlash. You use your image as a shield from which to snipe behind, you twist the knife just the right amount.
In order to be in the position to hurt the narcissist, you can't just work at the same level as them — they lie, which makes them seem much greater than they are.
You must put in work.
The only way to beat them is to massively outwork them, so that even the advantages of their lies, their fake and phony image are not enough to equal your increased output. Once you are a hard working, high status person, your opinion counts again, as does who you choose to socialize with or (more telling still) who you choose not to.
Narcissists who are not kept in check become increasingly grandiose, ever more dangerous in their delusions. You're doing everyone a service by taking them down a peg or two.
It's a dirty job.
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Unfortunately, you won’t get a narcissist to see where they are wrong, because of many different factors.
One main factor is that they have no sense of self-reflection.
Self-reflection means to observe and analyze oneself in order to grow or change as an individual.
This is not the case for someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), because they have convinced themselves that there is no need to grow or change.
Self-reflection refers to in-depth awareness of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral aspects that governs one's life, and a Narcissist’s Personality Disorder governs their entire life.
Self-awareness is also the process of mirroring and assessing yourself consciously, and those with NPD subconsciously mirror and assess your life, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions.
These toxic individuals create a false sense of connection with another person by mimicking their thoughts, feelings, interests, or behaviors. This is done as part of their abusive patterns to establish a rapport and build an unhealthy connection with you. With that being said anything that you try to bring to their attention or correct their behavior will result in wasted energy on your part.
Another factor would be that you can’t get someone to see where they are wrong if they don’t feel or think that they are wrong due to their deficiency of empathy, and lack of self-reflection.
For the most part they struggle with accountability and will easily redirect the issue onto you. Trying to get them to see where they are wrong or at fault is a losing battle, and not worth your time or energy even if you have concrete evidence.
You’re dealing with someone who is driven by grandiosity, arrogance, ignorance, power, and control. Narcissists have a very strong false sense of superiority, which makes anything that you try to bring to their attention invalid or having no value to them when it is coming from you.
So, whatever the issue maybe that you wish to address will only be turned around onto you so fast to show you all that is wrong with you. This is why it is not even worth addressing their problems to get them to understand what is wrong.
They know what is wrong, and they will find joy-excitement watching you try to challenge them or change them. It is a game for them when they see their victims attempting to display their wrong behavior, because this sends the message that they have you exactly where they want you to be.
The key take away is that healthy people who are self-reflective are aware of themselves, and they actually know themselves much better than anyone else.
This is the opposite for someone who is a narcissist, because they're too occupied manipulating, using and abusing others. They spend most of their time and energy observing and reflecting on their victims' vulnerabilities as a way to get their needs met.
It is important to work on yourself, know your self-worth, and do not waste any more time/energy on trying to get someone to see where they are wrong. Their problems belong to them -- NOT YOU!
May you know the signs. May you not remain a victim, and may you do whatever you can to protect your mental-emotional health.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-get-a-narcissist-to-see-where-they-are-wrong
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At what point will a narcissist go quiet?
In my experience, narcissists “go quiet” for various reasons and in different ways, depending on the type of relationship, the stage of that relationship, and whether they believe their silence or sudden change in behavior will have any impact.
Silence becomes a weapon to manipulate communication (stonewalling, withholding, switching off), a tool for training compliance (think interrogation rooms), or a punishment for not meeting their demands.
Switching Off: Narcissists, especially covert ones, use a tactic called “switching off” where they remain present in your life but suddenly “turn off” the expected interaction, reaction, and involvement. This is their way of signaling boredom, annoyance, or inconvenience caused by your presence.
It’s particularly common when it’s your turn to vent or express feelings, leaving you feeling shockingly disrespected. For them, it’s as simple as flipping a switch, but for you, it alters your reality, creating confusion without any clear reason. This silent treatment can be verbal or expressed through body language, like turning away from you or walking away suddenly.
This behavior, referred to as “bait and switch,” leaves you feeling foolish for being at a heightened level of energy alone. It’s a form of gaslighting, altering your perception and making you feel insignificant. Narcissists don’t form attachments, so the disconnect you feel is non-existent to them.
Avoidance: Unlike prolonged silence, avoidance is not meant to be a noticeable punishment but rather a “pause” in engagement for the narcissist to regroup and approach the situation anew.
At first, it manifests as endless excuses—they’re suddenly too busy or tired for you but not for others. Their mask slips, and they avoid facing the shame, guilt, and embarrassment from your altered perception of them. Avoidance occurs when you provide “negative fuel,” and they seek “positive fuel” elsewhere. They hope that by the time they return, you’ll have forgotten the issue and offer positive fuel again.
Triangulation: In romantic relationships, friendships, and work settings, narcissists go quiet with you while making it clear that they’re giving their time, energy, affection, and praise to someone else. They might even reach out to let you know they hung out with someone else. This tactic is meant to create insecurity and jealousy, making you work to regain your place in their life. They want you to feel as though you’ve “won” them back, irrespective of their previous mistreatment.
Silent Treatment: Silent treatments are used as punishment for confronting them, standing up for yourself, or not validating their self-importance. It’s a way to “teach you a lesson,” causing you to reflect on what you might have done wrong. It’s like an adult “time out,” forcing compliance in exchange for their presence in your life.
Silent treatments often come without warning, leaving you confused and desperate for resolution. When they return, they dismiss the past and show no acknowledgment of your feelings, often making you apologize for their silence.
New Supply: Narcissists go silent when they’ve replaced you with someone new, disregarding your feelings entirely. Yesterday, you were their best friend or soulmate; today, someone else has taken your place.
This reveals that they never valued you but rather how you saw them. When you no longer see them as they wish to be seen, they find someone who does. Complaining about you to their new supply, they “go silent” to enjoy the new relationship without your interruptions.
Discard: Sometimes, the silence means they are done with you for good. However, it can also mean they are plotting revenge for not seeing them as perfect. They go quiet to spread negativity about you or prepare to come back and witness your reaction. Their silence is strategic, aiming to regain control and prove you wrong.
A wise friend once told me, “You’ll know because they won’t even be able to look you in your face.”
Don’t wait to find out what’s coming next.
There is no acceptable reason for their silence. Whether they are switching off, avoiding you, triangulating you, punishing you, replacing you, or done with you, match their silence with silence.
Block them and remove them from your life. Recognize that shady, inconsistent behavior is enough reason to cut ties, even without an explanation. Silence is the best reaction to their silence because it allows you to observe their true intentions. Without your reaction, they lose power and reveal their own motives. You’ll realize your presence was never a necessity to them, merely an accessory. Pay close attention to their actions in your absence, and you’ll be grateful for their silence, wishing it had come sooner.
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Mine finally went quiet, once I told him to f*ck off, get some therapy, leave me alone and told him about the great sex I was having with my new younger partner… 😊 Worked a treat…
Good Riddance to the nasty, lying kidult… 👏
Addendum… 3 years on and he still calls, leaves messages, sends songs. Mind you he is now 3 years with a new woman (victim). 🤯 I have him listed as Loser, so when Loser calls I ignore and delete. 🤣 He is delusional!
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A narcissist will go quiet as soon as you either stop feeding their need for supply, whether its positive or negative, or when you display true boundaries and internal fortitude. That's it. Remember…ANY attention or contact, even third party, is supply. That moment when you find yourself realizing by chance that the narcissist hasn't taken up any of your thoughts is a liberating moment. That is true freedom.
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Narcs generally contact you if they want something from you: attention, money, sex, validation; in one word, SUPPLY. This means that the first consideration is what they want right now.
Then they ask themselves whether you can provide them with that or not. If you consistently and continuously satisfied all their requests, they’d probably ask for more. If you often denied all their needs, they’d look for someone new.
In any case, I think there’s something extremely more important than knowing if and when a narc would go quiet; I think you should ask yourself what you really want. Do you want to wait for their next move and act accordingly? Do you wanna wait for someone who consistently let you down/hurt you/ made you think that you were never enough?
Ask yourself if you’re ready to cut off any contact with them; it’s something important, but we all have our own time and ways. The thing is, the less you engage in their mind games, the less satisfaction they’ll get, the more likely will it be to get rid of them.
Of course they can go no contact for a while and then they’ll come back; but the really important thing, is how you see yourself and what we had together. Spend your time understanding that better, so that you can decide for yourself what to do in case they come back.
Don’t let them decide what you have to deal with. Exercise your self awareness and empowerment; be the leader of your life; rebuild your self esteem while they are away, so that you won’t fall again for them if they come back to you. If they have a communication channel with you, you can never know whether they’re going quiet only for a limited span of time or the’re leaving for good.
But it’s not the point: be the one to leave for good. Not with words, arguments and so on. Be so focused on your life and your self love that whatever they decide to do will not change your feelings; you are the main character of your life, not an extra in theirs. Remember that.
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The point at which a narcissist will go quiet will be:
When they don't want to, or are unable to talk to you any more.
The problem with your lot is you think too much. Thinking thinking thinking. You don't listen to your gut.
Now I don't know if you know this, but your gut is actually a seperate organism. Hundreds of millions of years ago, a tube like organism swam through the primordial muck. A soft, fragile creature, its strength was that it had a massivley increased surface area on which to digest food, its weakness was that it was prone to being consumed.
At some point, one of these indeed was ingested, it recombined, and somehow merged with another organism that had a harder casing, but was limited by this casing, and its smaller surface area as to how much food it could consume.
And so the two combined their strengths and made their way better than either could individually, evolving, and mutating to this very day.
That alien creature still lives within you. Perhaps you can feel it now, doing its thing. It has more neurotransmitters than, and is older than your brain.
It is wise, and ancient, and most of all, it wants to live.
While you are dreaming, indulging in grandiose fantasies of love, prosperity, fame, your gut is right there at the coalface, processing the outside world in a very intimate fashion - you, your feet barely touch the ground, living in abstract realms as a disembodied intellect.
Your gut is like a noisy, lower class friend, whose rough and ready honesty you appreciate but ultimately ignore.
No matter how loudly and how long it screams at you:
"What a dick move! Did you just see that? Don't ya think that was just a lil bit f***ing weird?!? That b**** is f***ing LYING!!!"
You always have some perfectly reasonable, rational explanation for the narcissist's selfish, wicked and just plain odd behaviour.
Maybe you need to stop worrying about what the narcissist is thinking, and start listening to your rumbling tum.
It can spot them a mile off.
https://www.quora.com/At-what-point-will-a-narcissist-go-quiet
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:tello: "Did I already post this? Posting it again...."
Do narcissists suffer?
Very much so, it seems.
New studies have shown that highly narcissistic people actually feel stress and negative emotions more acutely than people who are not narcissists, in fact.
People often incorrectly assume that lack of empathy means lack of emotions at all. It doesn’t. Narcissists have mostly negative emotional experiences, and these are often very strong - disproportionately so - but narcissists are often very disconnected from these and experience them as out of control and coming from somewhere outside of themselves. This is overwhelming and scary, as well as confusing.
People also often incorrectly assume that not feeling bad for things you do to others equals not ever feeling bad at all, and again, it doesn’t.
It’s actually kind of ridiculous to claim that feeling bad regarding others is the only way a person can feel bad, so if they don’t do that then they must be happy all the time. Narcissists don’t feel bad for what they do to others because they lack empathy and even more importantly because they can justify their behavior. This does not mean they have no feelings or that they do not ever feel negative feelings.
Toxic shame, envy, jealousy, feeling not good enough, lack of self-worth, lack of identity and cohesive self-image, and much more make up the pathologically narcissistic person’s minute-by-minute existence and these things are exceedingly unpleasant.
Narcissists are also often confused about the way things work, unable to make decisions, unable to confront problems or solve them, and self-sabotage continuously. Lack of empathy causes them to have extreme difficulty communicating (among other things), they feel attacked all the time, and they are constantly terrified they will be exposed as imperfect, not good enough, etc.
They feel powerless and victimized, even when they are claiming to be omnipotent. They live in a world where you cannot trust anyone, even yourself. Their experience of life in general seems to be that the world is scary, ugly, predatory, and totally unsafe.
People disagree with this sometimes; the narcissist’s act can be (superficially) very good. But it’s a scam. All of it. The reality is actually right there in front of us the entire time. All we have to do is look.
Do happy people do the things narcissists do?
Do happy people say the things narcissists say?
Do happy people have the problems narcissists have?
Do they have the mindsets narcissists have?
Do happy people need to hurt others to feel better?
Do happy people need to hurt others at all?
No. Happy people don’t have or do any of the things narcissists do.
Narcissists are miserable, confused, and empty people who suffer very much.
That is not an excuse for their behavior, but it does provide some insight into why they behave the way they do.
It’s a good reason to stay away from them, to be honest. There’s nothing you can do to ease their suffering because it has nothing to do with you at all. You can only become a target for their need to constantly vent it.
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They suffer constantly in their mind, they cannot live a calm, peaceful, happy life because they are forever plotting, planning and trying to create situations that make them feel better. It must be exhausting for them. Every rejection, criticism hurts them to the core and they will go crazy trying to prove a point or get revenge.
I believe that a Narc has a self destruct button, it’s almost like their medicine is to destroy everything good in their life, it’s a constant treadmill that they can never get off.
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Yes.
And they’ve been suffering likely long before you knew them.
Coming from a cluster B family I’ve witnessed their suffering on many levels. Do not, I repeat DO NOT give them your empathy, sympathy or attempt to console them in any way. Though they may suffer - they are very dangerous and have no qualms about using you for their pleasure, destroying you mentally to boost their self esteem, destroying your reputation to get ahead or taking anything of yours that they desire.
They will suck out your soul and destroy your life like a demon in a horror movie if you let them. You may not even know it’s happening until it’s too late.
Here are some of the ways they suffer:
They cannot love or accept love.
Instead They look for a fairy tale romance where they are loved, adored and treated as royalty without returning the affection, attention or hard work.
They cannot accept their real self as they deemed it unworthy and discarded it for a false persona when they were a child.
As a result, They feel like a fraud most of the time.
They are also emotionally arrested at a child-like state.
They cannot accept their own imperfections whether physical or in any task they take on.
This means they constantly feel like a failure.
They have limited, shallow emotions. They know they are not normal and work hard to emulate others to “fit in”.
They LOATH themselves behind the ego and bravado.
They live in a state of constant jealousy. They are unable to be happy with what they have, nor can they be genuinely happy for anyone else.
They must be better than everyone else - AT EVERYTHING , yet they are always reminded that others are better than them. This quest for perfection causes them to quit many things before completion. If they quit they can say they did not fail.
They go through depressive states where all the bad they’ve done that’s compartmentalized in their head leaks out. They hide from others during this time in shame, wallowing in self pity. This leads to projecting on those closest to them and eventually unleash horrific verbal, mental and physical abuse on them to relieve their shame and self loathing.
All of the lies, half truths, denials and embellishments come back to haunt them. They can’t keep it all straight or remember which version they told to who and it exposes their true nature.
Because they often believe their own lies for periods of time, they also truly believe they are a victim.
Yet, They know what they’ve done to others - so they expect it’s coming back to them. It makes them paranoid. They never feel safe for long.
They have trouble making friends. Superficially some may seem popular, but all their relationships are shallow. Despite their mask, many normal people can sense something off about them and steer clear quickly.
They are soooo lonely. They don’t appreciate the friendships, love and acceptance they are given. They crave unconditional love but cannot return it or recognize it when they have it. As a result they lose it all or throw it away. They all end up alone.
Their toxicity causes abandonment which causes them to seek to punish those that walked away - which causes more abandonment by those that witness what they do.
They are completely dependent on others to regulate their self esteem.
Nothing is ever enough.
They are filled with boredom and emptiness. They create drama to relieve their boredom.
Their anxiety goes through the roof when they don’t feel in control. This leads to embarrassing outbursts and unreasonable behavior.
They have limited self control over their behavior. As they get older it’s even harder to keep the false persona going and they can’t stop themselves from acting out in rage or revenge.
They have to have the final word / act of punishment. If they are cut off “no contact” before that happens or they perceive “you won” - they will suffer greatly and be consumed by anger and desire for revenge.
All of this can manifest in physical ailments like high blood pressure, auto immune disorders and chronic pain. But the Narcissist has a tendency to make things up for attention. So when they really are sick - does anyone believe them?
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Do-narcissists-suffer
Because the world doesn’t comply with their wishes 100% of the time… they think the world is against them.
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Are all evil people narcissistic?
:devil:
Yes, all evil is narcissistic.
Evil enjoys causing discord and chaos, bringing destruction to innocents, and making life difficult and harsh for people. Evil enjoys hoarding and being unfair. It takes without returning, or tricks you into thinking you’re getting a piece of the pie too.
This world was founded on narcissism. The people at the top want to keep the people at the bottom suffering. They taught you that the only way to find happiness is constantly striving to get that carrot, so they feed your mind with lies that are taught to you by your parents, the classroom, television...The RULING CLASS.
The more you strive, the less you find happiness. The less you find happiness, the more you become narcissistic, and the more the world becomes narcissistic. Whatever resides at the top of the narcissistic pyramid eventually finds its way down to the lower rungs, so that even the poorest people will kill one another for a piece of that pie too.
Now, evil is not necessarily being loud and defiant.
Narcissists would want you to believe that.
They would want you to believe that revolutions are unnecessary. Sometimes evil sleeps underneath doctrines and holier than thou personas. These people tell you that taking action against evil is evil. I always state to such dogmatic narcissists that if it were not for good people fighting back, black people wouldn’t have freedom today, and women would still be in chains too.
But I think that’s what they want. They want things to remain as they always were in the past. So being brave and defiant isn’t evil, if it’s meant for courage. If you were evil, you would want the world to remain stunted, blind, and in a zombie-like state. They wouldn’t want you questioning.
So evil can be very cunning too, and appear morally good. Evil can seem like a “defender of the law” when it’s actually an oppressor. You really have to question and dig deep sometimes, to understand how evil works. It isn’t always simply visible, and it has no problem projecting on you and making you out to be evil.
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Yes they are. They knowingly cause grief and bad times for people, just so they can feel good about themselves. If you have ever seen that evil smirk when they do something horrible, then you would know that there is an evil person behind those eyes.
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I will refrain from using the word evil in my answer. I will just relate to you what they do and then you reach your own conclusion.
Narcissists abuse own children most. Much worse than partners are treated.
Children of narcissists are never nurtured or told good life advice but are GROOMED to provide ever lasting toxic supply to the narcissist parent.
Children of narcissists are taught how to gaslight, guilt trip and manipulate others.
Children, when young, copy their parents and these are the tools these children are indirectly taught.
Narcissists discard their own children and partners like yesterday’s garbage.
Imagine you yourself think you are in a very good relationship and all of a sudden, your partner, or worse your parent, wants nothing to do with you.
The rages of any narcissist are very traumatic especially if you witness a certain look. That look is definitely not anything human.
A narcissist always manipulates from day one to the last day. Any honest human being will be very direct in relationships as has nothing to hide.
Narcissists are normally cheaters. They won’t cheat you with one but loads of other people.
Why do they alienate children from decent parents?
Narcissists cause immense damages in victims. It is so immense that a ton of people suicide annually.
My conclusion is only one.
If a narcissist is the worst kind of parent and should never be around young children in an ideal world, how do you expect this kind of human being to act with others?
You tell me.
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They incarnate evil in the here and now.
They stand in opposition to everything good and true. They are lies instead of truth, hate instead of love, chaos instead of order, derision instead of compassion, opposition instead of cooperation, cruelty instead of kindness, confusion instead of clarity, war instead of peace, evil instead of good.
They are the inversion of everything good in humanity.
Malignant narcissists are referenced, throughout the Bible, as Satan, the devil, a stumbling block, your enemy, a roaring lion looking for someone to devour, the serpent, more crafty than any of the wild animals, the thief, a murderer, the dragon, the deceiver of nations, the beast, the powers of this dark world, the spiritual forces of evil, the man of lawlessness, the father of lies.
Here is an especially descriptive verse:
John 8:44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
I once "dreamed," while sleeping with my ex, that I was spooned with a giant, black, hairy hog with claws dug into my arms, instead of hooves. I was in a room where cots were lined up and other souls lay sleeping on them. I tried to scream, but no sound came out.
After some time, I heard my strangled voice struggling to scream, and even weaker, as if worlds away, I heard someone calling my name. I entered the bedroom, and I heard the voice of my partner, behind me, but something huge was between us, blocking the sound. When I came fully awake, I realized it was him behind me, his hands on my arms, and I could hear him.
I would not say THEY are evil. They are incarnated by evil in the world, at this time. Spiritual nature abhors a vacuum. A dark force has entered into the narcissist’s vacuum. One only has to contemplate the “psychopathic smirk” on the malignant narcissist’s face, the twisted joy experienced through inflicting pain on another, to confirm the presence of evil. That is the expression of the devil, Batman’s Joker, a sadist. There is a weak remnant of the human they were, or might become, far away, in another world.
I don't know about their future. I know they are not here for the good of humankind, at this time. I like to think this a temporary condition for them and for us.
https://www.quora.com/Are-all-evil-people-narcissistic
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Is it rightful to forgive the narcissist from his / her wrongdoings?
:jandoor:
Hell To The NO!!!
The Evil Things The Narcissist Did To You, Over & Over Again, Were Done On Purpose.
Remember This:
The damage that was done to you is REAL and Sadistically Done For Their Pleasure.
You were NOT allowed to Speak YOUR Truth.
You were Shamed for not wanting to be abused.
You were told everything that went wrong, was Your Fault.
You were Blamed for the Toxic Person's Behavior and forced to accept it.
You were Invalidated daily.
You were told to just Shut Up & Take It — Be Submissive And Allow The Abuse.
NO, it was Not Your Fault.
Be Kind To Yourself. Forgive Yourself—NOT The Devil.
Do Not Allow Anyone tell you that YOU have a problem for not forgiving the Abuse/Abusive Person(S) — Whoever Tells YOU That, Send Them To HELL!
NO, You Do Not have to “Forgive" Toxicity to Move Forward and Don't let anyone Gaslight — Manipulate — Guilt Trip you into believing that — Again, Just Send Them To HELL!!
Go ZERO Contact with ALL Toxic Persons/Environments — Don't Look Back!
LOVE & Be Loyal To Yourself.
The Narcissist Does NOT Deserve Your Forgiveness, EVER.
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When you have the need to “forgive” someone else for what they’ve done…. When someone has done something bad enough that warrants forgiveness…. I don’t think anyone who did that level of deed is worthy of receiving it.
Forgiveness is never for the abuser, but rather the abused. It is to allow the grip they have on you… the mental stronghold to be released. Reliving the event over and over and giving it space in your memory and in your body is continued punishment and continued abuse. This is what forgiveness is about.
It is never to let someone else off the hook. It is never saying what they did was ok. It is never saying it didn’t matter. It’s never a Get Out of Jail Free Pass. A person doesn’t “let it go” because it was nothing.
You let it go because it’s putrid and foul and it’s stinking up the place. Are you going to eat food that is spoiled, or are you going to throw it away and forget about it? Are you going to keep cutting yourself? Are you going to keep banging your head against a wall?
Forgiveness is releasing the negativity, the horrible-ness in your body, from your body and getting rid of it. Keeping it attracts more negativity to you since like attracts like. It is a person caring for oneself by removing the negativity, breaking the bond that causes between you and the perpetrator, and hopefully filling that energy up with love, positivity.
The best case for forgiveness I have read to date was this…. When you don’t forgive someone else, you hang onto the memory, you hang onto the event, you relive it over and over. You keep it alive, and you keep the event recurring over and over.
It is like YOU are now abusing yourself over and over with your memories of the event which cause continued pain. You are giving the event continued life. You are keeping yourself abused, as you are now doing the abusing by reliving the event. It’s the same as if you went back to that person and asked him/her to do it again, and again, and again.
Your body and mind does not know the difference between reality and thoughts / memories. Same impact on the body. So now, what happened once, you have done to yourself hundreds of times every time you remember it, by giving it life.
Are narcs worthy of forgiveness? Hell no.
Am I worthy of forgiveness to release the event? Am I worthy of being released from the bondage of what happened? Am I worthy of moving onto better events, and creating better more worthwhile new memories? Am I worthy of not reliving and abusing myself by reliving the event? HELL YES.
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Hell no..
Why? Because they know exactly what they did to you.
Just to let reality slip into your mind for a moment let me refresh the part of your memory that needs to be refreshed.
And I’m not talking about the fantasy person you fell in love with, that was not real…
The person that you saw in front of you gaslighting you, hitting you, cheating on you, lying to you, yelling at you, scaring you, abusing you mentally, psychologically and emotionally.
That is WHO THEY ARE.
That is the person you were in a relationship with, that is the reality.
You do not have to forgive someone who actually hates you, despises the ground you walk on and never loved you.
Not now, not then, not EVER!!!
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-rightful-to-forgive-the-narcissist-from-his-her-wrongdoings
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:rawprawn: :mug: :troll2:
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How do you make a narcissist see/understand that they are abusive?
You don’t.
They will never understand because they can only see things from their own point of view. It’s ME, ME, ME! All the time, 24/7.
Some say narcissists do understand, and that may be true for some of them. Those ones are abusive on purpose. You tell them what they’re doing and they say, “No, you’re crazy / you’re too sensitive / I didn’t mean it that way / it was a joke, can’t you take a joke? / I never did that, what are you talking about it? / it’s your fault, if you weren’t x, y, and z, I wouldn’t pop off…”
No. Just no. Don’t try to reason with a narcissist, you will never get anywhere.
Once you recognize someone is a narcissist, that is the end of the relationship because now you understand there was never a relationship there to begin with. That’s because narcissists are fake.
They are fake people.
They don’t have relationships. Everyone around them is something to be used, emphasis on THING. You are not a person to them, you are a THING. That’s why they can treat you so badly. You lack humanity to them. It’s like they’re color-blind to all the humans around them. In the same way a color-blind person does not see colors, a narcissist does not see other human beings.
In the meantime, the only non-human in the equation is the narcissist. They lack the basic requirements that makes us human: true empathy, compassion, an ability to love.
And here’s the thing: most narcissists have what is called “cognitive empathy.” That is, they know intellectually how you feel and what you want. They don’t feel anything about it. They use the information to manipulate you. So a narcissist who has cognitive empathy is actually more dangerous than a narcissist who has no empathy at all.
If you can’t walk away from the narcissist (because you have children together, whatever), understand that this is a non-human and you will never have a relationship with them. So you don’t have to try anymore. How freeing is that! You can now put your energy towards developing relationships with NORMAL people, people who will care about you back, love you back.
Obviously whoever wrote this question knows a little about narcissism, but not a lot. They need to go the next step and LEARN the parameters of what a narcissist is. Narcissists are very limited, so it doesn’t take a lot of time to learn about them. I have a space on Quora called “Making Fun of Narcs.” That because when I started learning about narcissists I depended on a space “Laughing at Narcs.”
It was a wonderful space, but for whatever reason, the founder got kicked off of Quora. I think he was trying to monetize his content and he did something wrong. Anyway, he hadn’t appointed any other administrator to the space and now only the contributors he named before he got kicked off can contribute to it. Because there is no active administrator, no one can vet the content and make sure it has at least a little humor.
And so now it’s just another Narcissism space, which can be scary and sad because narcissists cause a lot of damage and human suffering in the world. So go over to Making Fun of Narcs if you want to learn about narcissism but still be able to sleep at night!
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Listen - I tried. Endlessly.
I even recorded him numerous times during his insane outbursts and when I played the recordings for him he said “it hurt to hear them and made him sad.” MADE HIM SAD? HIM ABUSING ME MADE HIM SAD?
It doesn’t work that way. He is the victim in his story and despite mounds of evidence to the contrary he will work to destroy you (AND in my case not let me go until he was sure he could match any “evidence” I had - he’s a lawyer, it’s his work nature and suits his NPD).
Give up and let go. These folks are not out to support you at ALL. Even if you believed that. I promise you - if they’re a true narc you just need to walk away and never look back. Stay safe!
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Oh please stop this quest now.
They know they hurt you.
They literally don’t care.
THEY DO NOT CARE that they have hurt you. They do not have the capacity to care that they have hurt you. If you tell them in detail, they will take note, so they can do those things ONLY WORSE, again. Please stop.
Tell your friend that the narcissist hurt you. Tell a counselor. Tell a parent. Tell your boss. Tell everyone, but DON’T TELL THEM. They literally care the least out of every other person you know. It’s just going to make it worse.
The best way to let them know they hurt you is to literally walk away and not come back. Be done with them and then they will get it. You don’t have to give details. You don’t have to tell them exactly what has happened. Just walk away, and don’t allow it again. They know they’ve hurt you. Please believe me when I tell you that they are literally waiting for a chance to do it again. AGAIN!!!!!
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-make-a-narcissist-see-understand-that-they-are-abusive
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:tello: I posted 2 pics side by side in facebook.
One was posted, the other was "Removed".
More on this story here:
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=8314.msg730706#msg730706
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What is the best way to respond when a narcissist says
"I miss you" or "I want you back"?
Ron Culley
Cancel your Man Card and start punching yourself in the balls.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-way-to-respond-when-a-narcissist-says-I-miss-you-or-I-want-you-back
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Why does a covert narcissists turn their back on you?
They hate you.
They care nothing about you, your thoughts, feelings, needs, desires, etc.. All that matters to a narcissist is the narcissist.
________________________________
So covert narcissists, otherwise known as vulnerable or introverted narcissists, will exhibit behaviours that are less overtly grandiose yet still deeply entrenched in narcissistic traits including a pervasive and obsessive need for admiration, a significantly diminished sense of empathy, as well as a very fragile and unstable self-esteem.
When a covert narcissist turns their back on you, it can be due to that fragile self-esteem as they are highly sensitive to perceived slights or criticisms, even constructive criticism. If a covert narcissist feels that you have threatened their self-image in anyway, even unintentionally, they are very likely to turn their back on you in order to protect themselves from further perceived harm (Akhtar & Thomson, 1982).
Turning their back on you can be a form of punishment which a covert narcissists will use in order to assert control and make you feel guilty or anxious (Miller & Campbell, 2008). The act of withdrawing their attention and affection, is a way a covert narcissist will ultimately use to manipulate you into conforming to their expectations or demands.
Covert narcissists typically experience ongoing difficulty in dealing with emotional intimacy and vulnerability so if a relationship becomes too emotionally demanding or exposes their insecurities, they will likely turn their back on you in order to avoid facing these uncomfortable feelings.
This can lead to the use of the silent treatment which, as a common tactic by narcissists, is used to exert control and manipulate others (Pincus & Lukowitsky, 2010). By turning their back on you and refusing to communicate, a narcissist, including a covert narcissist, is able to create a power imbalance that can make you feel desperate for their approval and attention.
Building on the aversion to being vulnerable, a covert narcissist, like most other narcissists, is typically afraid of being exposed as flawed and inadequate (Akhtar & Thomson, 1982).
Should they sense that you are getting too close to uncovering their true nature or vulnerabilities, they will turn their back on you in order to protect their extremely carefully constructed, albeit superficial, facade.
As a result of their protective measures, covert narcissists will project their own insecurities and shortcomings onto others. If they are feeling particularly insecure or inadequate, a covert narcissist will again turn their back on you as a way to project those feelings outward and avoid confronting them within themselves (Miller & Campbell, 2008).
Turning their back on you can be a self-preservation tactic. Covert narcissists may withdraw from relationships or situations that they perceive as threatening to their emotional stability or self-esteem.
References
Akhtar, S., & Thomson, J. A. (1982). Overview: Narcissistic personality disorder. American Journal of Psychiatry, 139(1), 12-20.
Miller, J. D., & Campbell, W. K. (2008). Comparing clinical and social-personality conceptualizations of narcissism. Journal of Personality, 76(3), 449-476.
Pincus, A. L., & Lukowitsky, M. R. (2010). Pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 6, 421-446.
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Because their victims are a threat to them.
Their victims have seen behind the mask; have suffered at their hands and if they alert anyone to what the narcissist is really like behind the PR campaign, then the narcissist will be exposed as the poser, actor and fraud that they are.
If the narcissist has a great image to maintain, is popular and successful at keeping up the charade of a good person, then anyone who can be a threat of exposure will be brought down and lied about.
The way the narcissist sees it is: the best form of defense is attack. If they attack that person’s credibility and character, perhaps paint them out to be delusional, emotionally unstable and dishonest or worse psychotic then nobody will believe them if they do choose to tell the truth about the narcissist.
The sad part is that because the narcissist usually gets in first and are extreamely crafty and manipulative they are usually believed until more and more people expose them.
They also can easily make their victims look crazy as they make their victims crazy due to their blatent lies and perverse deception, victims usually react become very aggressive or emotionally wounded with symptoms of PTSD from the psychological abuse they put their victims through.
Narcissists are great at creating smear campaigns, they will say anything in order to keep their image intact.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-covert-narcissists-turn-their-back-on-you
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I know you want this person to change, repent, care and atone for their behaviour.
But how can someone who doesn't think they have done something wrong, stop doing it?
Narcissists are a law to themselves. They believe they are God, answerable to no one.
In this delusion of "superiority" and "special entitlement," everyone and everything is an object to manipulate, mould, mine and exploit.
Of course, this means lying, cheating and stealing.
When someone is not genuinely remorseful, taking responsibility and caring about restoring whatever they have damaged, and much less the emotional devastation of those who trusted them...
Reoffending is not just probable... it's a given.
One moment of abuse is one too many.
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How can I protect myself
from a narcissist?
The moment you feel something is off..(and I'm not talking just a regular bad day that we all have..) not feeling well and being a little grumpy, etc. but a pattern…run! Do not walk..Run in the opposite direction and never look back.
Change your phone number, your email address, possibly even the current state that you live in.
And just a few red flags that now stand out to me like a sore thumb…
Every single person/partner in their life was a nightmare. They take no responsibility for anything regarding the ending of the relationship.
Finding humor in something that an otherwise human being would find sad or hurtful.
No ambition. Taking credit for someone else's work. Not willing to work for anything yet feel entitled to everything.
Talking about how important they are. “Highly respected,” even though they are usually the only ones who feel this way, and they have many scratching their heads.
Lying! Even some mild or ‘little white lies.’ They will grow exponentially, I promise you.
Lack of Empathy! Tons for themselves and all of their ‘tragedies’ that are pretty small in comparison to others truly devastating stories.
Once these things can not be unseen, unavoided..even if you just can't/don't want to believe it…always listen to your gut. It's never wrong. Never second guess yourself and this uneasy feeling. That's your intuition telling you run, don't walk. And never look back.
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If you have been conditioned and prepared to deal with narcissists, from past experiences, there are limitations on the harm they can cause you because you would have trained your boundaries into a sturdy position. It is a matter of enforcing what you already know.
Of course, you must not get romantically involved with one, because they will make it their life mission to break through your boundaries if you are romantically involved. But in most other settings, such as work, acquaintances, friendship circles, distant family, etc, there is clear scope for you to keep interactions superficial and high level, while your boundaries are intact, at least for the most part.
The secret (well, not so much a secret) is to not let the 'relationship' go deep –
keep your emotions in check, avoiding bondage, apply what you know, and you’re good.
Oh, and never expect much, keep the expectations’ bar low.
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Accept the reality and detach from it. You must leave, then devalue the thoughts and feelings of the narcissist to the point of indifference.
First, do not merely accept, but embrace the following: This person will never change, they are not waiting for the right person to save them, and you cannot “show them,” or “expose them,” or “win”; every time you open your mouth, you’re losing; the longer you stay, the worse the damage will be.
If they’re not yet gone, get rid of them.
You will think of revenge against them. Forget about it. Detach.
You will wonder what they’re thinking about, what they think about you. Stop it, and detach.
You will wonder how they’d react if you tried a particular action. Don’t. Detach.
They will move on quickly, and find other partner(s). You will wonder how they do it, whether they’re happier, et cetera. Stop wondering. Detach.
Are they thinking? Not much. Underneath the skillful manipulative facade, there’s little of interest. Don’t dirty your beautiful mind with thoughts about them. Detach.
Suffering grows from an attachment to desire. You are going to go positively Buddhist on this, and detach. There is more Buddhist in you than you think - you have the power to detach.
Of all the humans in the world, the narcissists are near the bottom in terms of goodness, value and importance. The thoughts of a narcissist are without value or importance. Detach.
Nothing is less important than what a narcissist thinks.
Detach.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-protect-myself-from-a-narcissist
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What types of things will a narcissist do to make them look like the victim and you the abuser? What extremes do they go to?
There are too many to list, but here is one:
Any time you express your autonomy, whether it be about your feelings, an opinion or knowledge on a subject, it triggers a hostile, abusive reaction in them. To escape accountability for their behavior they tell you & anyone else who will listen that you were “arguing” with them and they don't understand why “everything turns into an argument” with their victim.
Your autonomy is viewed as abusive toward them because you are stepping out of the role they have assigned for you wherein they dictate who you are. You're merely a pawn in their schemes to be used up for the supply you provide.
Smearing the victim behind their back with accusations that are actually confessions of THEIR behavior provides them with additional supply when the gullible/easily manipulated flying monkeys believe the abuser’s lies.
It’s a narcissist’s endless cycle for cultivating attention, sympathy, praise, and denial of truth to fit their delusional narrative. Their enablers pamper their victimhood and martyrdom.
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Unbelievable extremes, even sacrificing their own children's mental health, and physical well being, which in my opinion is as low as any creature can go with getting what they want no matter who has to suffer.
For a narcissist I know and a couple I have known are pity seekers, meaning they will say anything against their spouse or children that literally destroys others' reputation all for the sake to have others feel sorry for them. One wants total control of the household, meaning they control all the finances, even what you are permitted to think or say will take your life if that’s the only means they see as an option to get and keep control.
Entitlement is a major issue when dealing with a narcissist, entitled without any reasonable reason for entitlement. Just according to what position the narcissist holds in your encounter with one is depends on how far one will go.
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The narcissist looks like this benevolent friend who is throwing you are party even though they know you don’t want it.
Or they buy you a gift which is really something the narcissist want, and if you are ungrateful you look awful.
They plan a trip that they want but know you wanted to stay home with the kids because they are so young.
Narcissists are evil.
They are not below plotting to win when they know you don’t want to do something that the 2 of you previously discussed. You had said no.
They will shame you in front of other people so you come out looking unfeeling and wrong.
They will remarry someone with kids, and when it’s your weekend to have your kids, the narc will bring their new girlfriends kids too, because he wants to go away for the weekend with the new girlfriend.
They put you in situations that are so unexpected you are caught off guard.
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There are countless examples and strategies.
Here is one about being the eternal victim:
They push you away with their behaviour. Then they get angry at you for running away from them and pretend to understand nothing.
Don't act on it. Don’t explain yourself again.
That way they fool everyone:
Play the victim card
Shift the blame
Guilt trip and
Avoid responsibility
At that point:
Do not defend
Don't chase
Stay No Contact
To your advantage: Most narcissists aren’t able to communicate directly with you. They involve a third party (flying monkeys) or come back with mysterious remarks as a bait for you to get back on them.
Know what you stand for. Regardless of any dysfunctional attempts stay calm and carry on.
https://transcendingnarcissisticabuse.quora.com/What-types-of-things-will-a-narcissist-do-to-make-them-look-like-the-victim-and-you-the-abuser-What-extremes-do-they-go
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:tanty:
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Is narcissism a demonic
stronghold? The devil was probably the first narcissist.
Whether it is, or isn’t, I can’t really say with any certainty.
But I do know, narcissists do a lot of sh!t that is representative of the demonic.
I know they’re capable of doing things that would turn most of our stomachs to even consider.
And I know they relish in it.
They thrive on people’s pain, fear, and sadness.
What’s that saying about ducks and quacks?
Whether they are or aren’t living and breathing demons, or demonically inspired, I don’t really know for sure.
But, I’m not going to take my chances, or entertain them.
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No.
This is why an education on narcissists are necessary.
They have existed since the beginning of times. God even knew of them. He warned narcissist about what they do. He does speak of them as well in his word. If one has time they must also read about them in Greek times. Fascinating to read.
It’s necessary for everyone to also understand why you attract these kind of people so you understand the part we play in the situations of attracting them and why boundaries are so necessary for our own protections & future relationships as well. These individuals are very disordered, professional support is out here.
It could also be helpful for everyone just to make an appointment & talk with one just on a general basis. You might be surprised what you learn about yourself, I was. Words that brought so much light into my life which supported the strength I carry today.
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It’s a mental illness. Pastors love to say it’s “demonic.”
Who cares it’s not curable? Walk away!
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Is-narcissism-a-demonic-stronghold-5
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Why you can't feel bad
for the narcissist?
You shouldn't feel bad for narcissists because their abusive behavior is intentional.
Narcissists behavior changes depending on the audience they are around. If you feel bad for narcissists, they will take advantage of your empathy and sympathy to use and abuse you. Any softness towards a narcissist will lead to your downfall.
People understand that narcissism is the result of poor upbringing, and sometimes genetic factors also contribute to the development of narcissism.
Whatever you have gone through in childhood doesn't give you the right to abuse a person. Every person has their pain and problems, but it's important how you handle the pain and problems without venting your anger to the people close to you.
You don't have the right to treat a person badly.
Abusing is a choice; you chose to abuse a person. Abusive behavior is intentional; that's why narcissists abuse you behind closed doors. Narcissists very well know how to behave toward people outside.
Abusive behavior is not at all acceptable at any cost. Narcissists have to take responsibility to fix themselves or just live alone; narcissists don't have the right to spoil the life of any person.
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They persist in predatory, opportunistic behavior that damages and torments other people. They do it deliberately in order to secure whatever it is that they need in the moment: attention, money, sex, housing, social status, whatever.
You think they’re just innocent victims trying to heal emotional wounds from their childhood? NAHHH. They target vulnerable people, figuring that anyone who’s naive enough to fall for their lies, deserves to be victimized. Horrible.
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Because I have no sympathy or empathy for evil. They are heinous, vile, demonic entities and servers of Satan. They are sent to ruin people’s lives on purpose and with malice. They are not human, they just look like and pretend to be humans.
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I don’t feel bad at all.
And for anyone who says I’m just as bad as the narcissist for that, have you seen the atrocities that these people commit on a daily level?
If you’re okay with that, go ahead and unfollow. Don’t even comment on my writing, because I don’t care.
I don’t believe in God anymore, I don’t believe in karmic justice.
The only thing that the narcissist does is create their own “karma” that eventually destroys them from the inside out, but there is no such thing as actual karma.
The narcissist creates cause and effect, but there isn’t anything “woo woo” about it.
Nobody is arresting narcissists for destroying lives.
So why should I care what happens to the narcissist?
The less of them that exist, the happier I would be.
Why would I want evil people to exist? So that they can abuse the good people?
Wow, that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, keep defending narcissists, because they just “need love like everyone else.”
:foot:
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-you-cant-feel-bad-for-the-narcissist
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How will a narcissist act when they've found a new supply?
This is the stage where the narcissist starts hating you more and has lost interest in you.
Narcissists are unable to tolerate your presence because your presence makes them angry and frustrated. You are considered the most horrible person; narcissists will treat you like you did nothing for them in a relationship. Whatever you do in a relationship will never be considered.
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It’s probably not the answer you’re looking for, but at some point...
... The Same Way You Were Treated.
If they’re any good at their craft, they will customize their love bombing and devaluation to the new supply. The same things do not make everyone tick. And what a narc does is find your particular character weakness and use that to their advantage.
So, while you might have abandonment issues, they will invoke jealousy and insecurity into your relationship.
The new supply might have financial insecurity so the narc will get the new supply financially dependent.
But here’s where the fork in the road meets; you would always be worried about whether they are cheating and if they’re going to leave you while the new supply will always wonder are the bills being paid and will they be evicted.
Narcissists are agents of Satan sent to rob, destroy or kill you.
That’s the end game.
And Satan is smart and cunning enough to get you one way or another by your weaknesses.
So, your experiences might be somewhat different, your narc will make sure you both have sleeplessness night, experience extreme confusion and anxiety along with a host of other negative and detrimental emotions.
Do yourself a favor. Cut bait and move on. Get a Bible and read it. Talk to God. He will help you. Go no contact and don’t worry about the narc and his new victim. Thank God you’re free and go live free from all the negativity the narc brought into your life.
I hope this helps. Good Luck and God Bless You.
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When a narcissist finds a new supply, there are a few obvious signs they give away.
The main one though- is you can just feel it in your heart. Something just isn't quite right.
The narcissist starts canceling last minute to have a voice chat with you.
They'll state something like, “I'm going to be busy with work coming up soon- I won't be able to speak to you as often- are YOU going to be okay with that?”
They'll start “scheduling” times to speak with you. You will go from speaking with them constantly everyday for the first 3 months- to them barely reaching out to speak to you- maybe a “good morning” text, and then once at night before they SAY, “they're going to bed.”
You'll also know they've found a new supply because they start speaking differently. They begin “mirroring” this new person. They begin getting agitated with you quickly- and come up with excuses for why they can't talk to you long.
They also just begin to be really forward with their flirting with other people. They'll just “like” videos of other women- and if you confront them- they'll act as though you are making WAY too big of a deal. (which a normal person wouldn't act like- if they actually cared and loved the person they were seeing.)
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Your real question is probably “Was the narcissist just being mean to me and only me?”
And the answer is No.
They are mean people. Jerks. The best you can hope for is that he runs into someone more manipulative than himself who steals all his money, or if he hurt you really bad, a borderline psychopath like Jodi Arias who leaves his mangled body in a dumpster.
Otherwise he's just going to continue his profession as a con man, a shyster, a snake oil merchant, a crook, a hustler, a grifter, a swindler, a robber, a cheat, liar, low down dirty rotten POS.
Love and light,
https://narcissistlies.quora.com/How-will-a-narcissist-act-when-theyve-found-a-new-supply
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Why do people seem so much more angry these days? What has changed in our society that could account for this?
People are not any angrier, but the internet has made many people appear angry.
I propose the answer is quite simple. So simple as to deceive most into not believing it could be possible.
People using social media are acting angry because of triggers posted by trolls. Trolling is the reason people seem angry.
The next time you are about to fly into a hastily typed rant about something or other, stop. Why are you so angry about a sentence written by a stranger? Could it be that it was written to make you lose your head? Intentionally placed in a feed to trip your proverbial trigger?
Real people are typically moderate in their actions and attitudes. Yet there is a proliferation of extreme, inflammatory, and just plain offensive content online claiming to be an authentic opinion. Is it, though? Or is it there to get you to argue a point of view more vehemently than you normally would because of the outrageous and polarizing way the counter argument is laid out?
Trolling is the new op/ed people. I think some people are so invested in this that they forget they are doing it. Entire personas on this very site are likely sham tropes meant to garner attention and controversy about hot button issues, like Narcissism or Psychopathy. Psychopaths don't get therapy, they don't self reflect and they don't tell people they are psychopaths. Use this information as you will. Do you think the next Ted Bundy is posting on social media?
He isn't, but someone who thinks it's fun to pretend to be him and is desperate to feel important no matter the vehicle most certainly is glued to his or her computer all day. The imposter lives for your reaction as much as a true psychopath lives to physically violate living beings. If you feel provoked, you probably have been quite intentionally. Just something to consider.
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I personally think jealousy is the biggest reason people are cruel. Even so called friends and family members will hate to see you do well and often try to pull you down. Second to that I find is controlling people they try to find positions of power so they can abuse you. I am so sad to say that most people I know in my life have been like this and it's made even worse by me being a people pleaser while trying to see the best in bad people. Be careful how much of yourself you allow people to take. Please never lower yourself to match that negative behaviour out of anger, you just keep being the best person you can be, bu***r the rest of them.
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Your observation that people exhibit poor social skills, and are seemingly angry or hateful more so than in the past, appears correct. The question we must ask is why?
There are several reasons that might explain this. First, the fact even though we are supposedly more connected than anytime in history, we have less person to person or face to face interaction. This means people have opted for impersonal communication, and therefore lost the skills to communicate effectively. It is interesting to watch people in various social situations actually texting and checking social media while they are at dinner, or with other people. Sometimes even couples sit across from each other doing this.
Try if you can to imagine if all social media vanished, and all computers were suddenly gone, no more internet. How would the world change? News, and people telling you what to think would slow down. People would have to find things to do, perhaps then they would treat each other better.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-seem-so-much-more-angry-these-days-What-has-changed-in-our-society-that-could-account-for-this
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.
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Why do you need to stop feeling sorry for a narcissist?
You should never feel sorry for narcissists.
Narcissists have taken advantage of your feelings to use and abuse you.
People do understand that NPD is a disorder. NPD is a result of a poor upbringing, and genetic factors also contribute to the development of narcissism.
Whatever you have gone through in childhood doesn't give you the right to abuse a person.
Every person has their pain and problems, but it's important how you handle the pain and problems without venting your anger to the people close to you.
You don't have the right to treat a person badly.
Abusing is a choice; you chose to abuse a person. Abusive behavior is intentional; that's why narcissists abuse you behind closed doors. Narcissists very well know how to behave toward people outside.
Abusive behavior is not at all acceptable at any cost.
Narcissists have to take responsibility to fix themselves or just live alone; narcissists don't have the right to spoil the life of any person.
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By understanding how our feelings work.
Our feelings are a product of our thoughts. The thoughts that are likely to have produced your feelings of pity towards the narcissist are probably:
1- how unfortunate it is that the narcissist wasn't loved or validated as a child.
2- how sad that someone so brilliant (to the point of being a genius professionally in the case of the narcissist I fell for) can be so psychologically tormented.
3- how can someone so good looking, attractive, talented have such a bottomless void in their soul?
And you would be right in that they do deserve pity. But here's where it stops: Feelings of pity.
If you are tempted to act upon your feelings of pity, STOP.
Why?
Because that's when YOU start to become the problem for yourself. You are undertaking a responsibility which is not yours. You cannot fix anyone. You cannot make them happy. You cannot fill the void that was created so early in the life of the narcissist. Engaging with them in a dysfunctional relationship will not heal them. As tempted as you may feel you'd want to.
If that's the way you feel. I highly recommend that you read about real healthy love, not codependency disguised as love (which is what an entire industry of pop songs and movies is based on).
There is no better way to love a narcissist than setting healthy real boundaries for them (to the point of going no contact). By doing that, you are giving them an opportunity to ask themselves some important questions which they normally wouldn't when someone is being their love slave. If they do not see the opportunity (and most don't), then you would have at least retained your integrity, your SELF.
Drowning together with someone who is, isn't love. It's called suicide.
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In harming you and other human beings.
And no matter what you do, the narcissist will not change. It is the narcissist that must be resolute to face change and most of them are not courageous enough to do that.
So what is the use of feeling sorry for someone who still persists in harming everyone?
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Oh, please! Is there a gun to your head?
Here’s how you stop feeling sorry. You accept what NPD is by reading books like Prepared to be Tortured. You do some serious soul-searching about why you want to squander sympathy on a person who doesn’t care.
You control what you think and what you feel. Not the Narc.
https://personalitydisordersmanipulation.quora.com/Why-do-you-need-to-stop-feeling-sorry-for-a-narcissist
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:mug:
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.
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HOW THE NARCISSIST CONTINUES TO FALL APART
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yshCcb4uQ4
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When Karma Strikes a Narcissist: This Torment Can Lead Them to Death!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-e4LIvympk
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Why Narcissists Panic And
Fear When They Can't Control
Their Victim's Life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xf-ZfcLgZks
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Why does a narcissist discard
a good supply?
A narcissist will not discard a good supply.
A good supply is someone who will be meeting all of the narcissist’s needs and demands.
A good supply is at the narcissist’s beck and call *. Someone who is constantly putting themselves second and the narcissist first.
A good supply is someone who has something about themselves that intrigues that narcissist and makes them feel that they are important by associating themselves with the good supply.
This could be anything from having a lot of money, to being extremely well-educated or well-traveled, having a high-level career or some type of celebrity or know someone important.
A good supply can and eventually will be discarded for one of two reasons.
1. Either the supply is no longer meeting the needs of the narcissist and the narcissist has found someone else who is better in the eyes of the narcissist, or....
2. The supply has finally seen the narcissist for who they truly are and is no longer willing to deal with it.
One of the greatest fears of a narcissist is having their exterior stripped away and having their true self revealed and they will normally drop people out of their lives who have done this or have the potential to do it. They don’t want anyone in their lives who doesn’t think that the narcissist is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
If you are someone who has been discarded by a narcissist, consider yourself lucky. You may not feel like that at first, but it will end up being the best thing that could ever happen to you.
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You are so right!
I finally saw him for who & what he was! I was totally turned off by him, I couldn't stand him anymore! He became repulsive to me. I had to be rid of him! I saw him as a weak, empty, dark soul, incapable of ever loving himself or anybody else! I asked him to leave & take all his things with him!
How dare he come into my world, my home & treat me the way he did! I told him, I would be ashamed of myself if I treated someone in the same manner he had treated me! This was 4 months ago. Next month it would have been our 12yrs Anniversary! Sad!
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I started seeing him like that too, but I was more repulsed / disgusted with myself for being duped and putting up with a scum /pos.
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Narcs will leave their source of supply:
When you stop giving them what they want from you.
When you figure them out and they can no longer manipulate and control you.
Narcs get bored easily. If your narc supply becomes stale in their eyes, they will leave
or give you the boot.
Narcs may keep you around for a long time if they get some things from you. But, they will be getting their narc supply needs from other sources also.
Narcs live secret lives. They are like a bucket that has a big hole in the bottom of it. They will never be filled or satisfied for long, no matter what you do for them.
In the end, you feel like you wasted years of your time, effort and money, on someone who never noticed or appreciated how much you did for them.
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Make no mistake, narcissist’s are incapable of feeling love.
They don’t feel empathy nor possess a conscience.
You represent a food source to them, no more, no less.
Imagine the money in your pocket, and give each bill a name—Sally, Brenda, Joy, Nancy… and each time you buy something you have to say goodbye to the bill.
Seems ridiculous, right?
That’s what you are to a narcissists.
Once they’ve gotten all they can out of you, or grow bored, or find someone else they find more intriguing, you’re spent. You were never loved. You were fooled into believing your narcissist was something he’s not. They’re walking, breathing, human impostors. Pass it on.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-discard-a-good-supply?no_redirect=1
*
What Does “Beck and Call” Mean? Monarchs and masters in the Middle Ages would physically beckon (or the shortened beck) their servants by waving to them. If the servants failed to respond with this gesture, the master would then call — hence, the servant being at one's beck and call.
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What do narcissist women
want from their partners?
To let her do what she wants and for you to do what she tells you to do. That's my experience anyway.
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Any narcissist, whether its male or female, wants total devotion from their partners! In other words, they want someone who will accept all of their evil and malicious behavior and activity!
A narcissistic girlfriend only wants to do what she wants to do.
She can cheat, the boyfriend is not allowed to cheat.
She can lie, the boyfriend is not allowed to lie.
She can end the relationship, the boyfriend is not allowed to end the relationship.
Basically, she cannot take what she dishes out. I was married to one. She did me all kinds of dirty but all I did was end the relationship.
I didn't cheat like she did.
I just ended it and she called me mean!
But totally disregarded with all the wicked crap she did to me and the many nights my heart was broken and could not sleep because of her. So yeah, they can dish out abuse and deceit really well, but simply standing up for yourself and saying NO to them totally crushes them!
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My ex female covert would continually say, ‘ No one is ever going to stop me seeing my men friends’…I realised ‘no one’ was me and her men ‘friends’ were her exe's or farq* buddies. Hardest thing I've ever done, walk away, slam, bolt and weld shut the door to my life from this POS.
* Farq is the story of two different individuals, Irsa (Sehar Khan) and Kamal (Faysal Quraishi) who come together to form an unusual union under compromising circumstances.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt23050176/
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My ex wanted to be treated specially, but wanted to be left alone….
She wanted to be adored, but also was self depreciating.
She wanted to go out with her mates (usually guys) and not be questioned about her whereabouts. When I went out, she would always state she was jealous, but would rather stay home, YET questioned where I was…..
She ‘wanted’ gifts, but ALWAYS stated ‘it’s up to you’ and you KNEW you didn’t have a choice - this was even with her own family.
They want subservience. They want total admiration, with absolutely NO reciprocation. They dislike being held accountable, to any degree.
They want you to be a mind-reader and instinctively know when they’re in a a bad mood. Yet, you are not allowed to have feelings.
Your opinions are usually wrong - even if they’re scientifically provable. Or, your opinion doesn't matter.
You are NEVER their equal - EVER. They can usually ‘prove’ that their life has been worse than than anyone else's.
There’s LOADS more - but it really just is that they want the upper hand and to be in control ALL the time and to the victim/family. It’s DRAINING.
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There’s a lot of things they want. And most of what they want will get annoying as f*ck but by the time it gets annoying, it’s too late. You’re bonded and didn’t even know what was in the making.
Off the top of my head, here are a few things they want actually; it’s what they need:
Attention. Not the normal attention. But when they text, you best text back or you;re cheating on them. You know? Like they do to everyone they are with and what they are doing to you right now.
Be their sounding board for their annoying drama. At first you might believe some of their bullshit, and even feel sorry for them. But after time it will get old as f*ck and you will be annoyed beyond measure.
Believe their delusion. Because brother, they will bring it. I don’t care what they say, you have to believe them. They will say some of the craziest shite that will make you cringe.
And finally, believe their lies even if you catch them in one, which you will.
Believe every lie, exaggerated story, stretched truth and most of all believe them when they say they love you and you are their “one.”
The only reason you are their "one" this minute is because you are still blind to their bullshit.
Oh, one more thing.... The above aren’t wants.
It’s what all narcissist need to survive.
If you don’t follow the rules, there is another person/supply/SUCKER in line waiting for their chance at this caring person that just “can’t” catch a break.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissist-women-want-from-their-partners
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:offtopic:
:drama:
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:sam2gun:
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You will not find groceries at Home Depot no matter how many times you go there.
"Let Me Love You!" The Futility Of Loving Narcissists
In this clip, The Little Shaman discusses the frustration of dealing with emotions regarding pathologically narcissistic people.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfNBYLcyjJE
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:sorry: :taunt: :nothappyjan:
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How does a covert narcissist attack their victims?
Attack or rather constant warfare is what covert Narc does for a living.
You work and look after the kids and the Narc, do errands and help others, while the Narc’s job is to attack you as many times a day as possible.
Here are some of the methods of the cover Narc’s warfare:
1) They criticize your choices and nag about them any time they have a chance. They act as if they want a better life for you, and pretend their criticism comes from their desire to see you better off, which is one of the thousands of lies they keep in their pocket:
“You should have chosen another [boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, friend, school, major, country to live in, neighborhood, house, job, doctor, insurance company, whatever]” They will incessantly repeat that line when you are very tired, when you need their help for a particular issue or just plain emotional support, or any other moment when you are more vulnerable to their criticism.
“So, what have you accomplished with your major, ha? Nothing.” [disappointed look] They will completely ignore your good job, good pay, the respect you have earned as a professional and the standard of living you have accomplished with your choice of a major. The point is to minimize and offend you and make you look insignificant and unworthy. There is no point to argue with them, because that statement was a big, fat lie, and if you challenged them, they would shower you with more lies.
2) They mock you for inherent aspects of your personality or physical appearance and conceal the mockery as friendly jokes, but the implied meaning is always that you look bad, you are not good, likable or lovable the way you are:
“You’re so small and so militant! Who would expect that in such a small body! A small viper you are…hahahhahahaha” That is a typical backhanded ‘compliment’ of a covert Narc.
“Your heels wear out so quickly. Hahahahahaha! You walk like a soldier.”
“Your hair is so heavy/thin! No wonder your haircut is always a disaster.” [disgusted facial expression]
“Your face is so broad! You look like a pumpkin…hahahhahahaha! Delete that ugly picture”
“You look like a clown with these pants! Only a crazy person would spend money on such garbage!” [condescending laughter]
“Oh dear, you used to look better! Hahahahahaha. Put on some make up or something.”
“Get rid of that thing on your face! You had that lotion for zits. Go use it!” [condescending laughter]
3) They mock you, insult you, cross your boundaries and question you for the way you do things, especially very insignificant things, so you can never relax in their presence. They make a big deal of them and make you feel insecure and embarrassed, sometimes even ashamed to a degree you want to hide from the Narc:
“Why the hell did you choose this route? You are so stupid! There’s shortcut.” There is no point to challenge them for calling you stupid, because they will raise hell.
“Why did you say to your friend [X, Y, Z]?” They criticize the words you use, your tone, your laughter or anything else that is your individual choice or part of your personality, so at some point you learn to not talk on the phone when they are around.
“You should’ve added more salt and sugar in that bread! I won’t eat it!” [frustrated tone and they push the plate away] And this time they criticize the same bread they liked last month, exactly the same recipe. When you remind them it is the same recipe they liked earlier, their answer is…blank stare. There is no point to argue with them, because the food has nothing to do with their criticism. They just want to hurt you with their passive aggression.
4) They give you nasty flashes that you easily attribute to a bad mood before you become aware that it is pure hatred:
The angry look, the abrupt movements, the clenched fists and teeth tell you you shouldn’t exist. You start asking yourself what you have done wrong, perhaps you’ve said something wrong and hurt their feelings.
NPDs do that routinely and you routinely question yourself. Or you get used to that and just feel their nasty presence as a boulder on your back. At some point that boulder becomes part of your body and you don’t even notice it is there. It is part of your life.
5) They vigilantly watch your breath, posture, microexpressions and walk, so they can figure out your weak spots of vulnerabilities in order to more successfully hurt you:
It is not just watching. It is sick. They monitor you as closely as a doctor, who is monitoring your vital signs while doing your surgery. But the doctor would do it to make sure you are fine during the surgery.
The covert Narc will watch you with one single purpose: to measure the prey and carefully calculate the next attack. They watch with such intensity, that they may sit behind you and you can feel them penetrate your skin and bones and suck your breath out. It is a horrifying experience.
6) They rage for no reason. The Narcissistic rage is very difficult to describe to a person who has no personal experience with it. The Narc will just pick a fight out of nowhere and pour wrath like hell.
In my personal experience, it feels like simultaneous tornado, earthquake, fire and flood. Hell breaks loose. The Narc will leave scorched earth behind. They take no prisoners.
I often feel if I have survived such hell, I can live forever :).
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-covert-narcissist-attack-their-victims
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:smee!:
NOW WHAT?
Maybe I should have deleted that last email.
-
:tello: "I think YOU are a NARC. Here's why":
:smee!: 1,000 billion broke souls on Earth, all holding out on you, M8. What a world....
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Was
LOST
AND
Now
FOUND
OZRT Admin.
It was only a glitch.
-
If narcissists only gaslight, then they would not be
such a major problem on this planet.
Is there any way to
stop narcissist gaslighting?
By simply making the assumption that every word flowing from their mendacious mouths are lies. You can’t make them stop trying, but you can sure as hell stop allowing them to succeed.
_______________________________________
I went no contact and got myself out of the situation, finally.
When they're gaslighting you, it's pretty intense because you think you're losing your mind.
I mean you can argue with all of the burden of proof with the narc but it's a waste of time as they will simply deny the proof and carry on as if you're an idiot and how dare you question them?
Understanding that these clowns are just clowns and are damaged beyond repair should help you in making up your mind to leave their sorry a55es behind.
They simply can't be helped by you alone. So please don't lose your sanity trying to fix them or the situation….. because you simply can't, unfortunately.
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If this technique is used then you know exactly how to respond.
You don't..let it go
Gaslighting is denying your reality.
Or say: “I see"
Or look at them and say nothing and shrug your shoulders.
Do not get angry or try and get them to see your point of view because they will use you wanting to work things out against you.
Tell them nothing of what you know is true.
Because they will twist it around and make themselves look like the victim.
They will deny everything of what they said or did.
The last time this happened to me was in an intimate relationship.
After it happened I got my things and told her that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her ever again and I walked out of her life forever.
You must have a zero tolerance policy for this kind of behavior.
Gaslighting is the hallmark of someone who is a high spectrum manipulator.
You should have absolutely nothing to do with a person like this.
If you can get away from this person I think that is the best way to deal with this kind of person.
Unfortunately you are going to run into this in other places where it won't be as easy to leave right away.
Do not respond with any emotion.
Do not get into any conversation with them because they will rope you into an argument and make you look like the bad person.
Stop talking and go do something else.
When you come back do not ever bring it up again.
If you do they will use it against you I can guarantee that..
__________________________________
You can't stop narcissists from gaslighting you.
For narcissists, gaslighting is one of their manipulative tactics to keep you in confusion and get your reaction by blaming you. The best thing is that you have to stick to the truth and stand your ground. Narcissists get afraid when you stick to the truth.
Grey-rock them when they are gaslighting; show them you are very uninterested in communication. Give the minimum response.
Leave their playground; you can't expect to feel good when you are staying in a very unhealthy environment. The best way to deal with narcissist gaslighting is by not giving any response.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/Is-there-any-way-to-stop-narcissist-gaslighting
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:tello: "Risky or bold? I'm posting to flakesbook."
:spam: Big Tech is a Narc!
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What happens when a narcissist leaves you alone?
From my experience, they feel “free”. They usually go out drinking, partying and doing everything that they couldn’t do while in the relationship with you. They usually tell their friends and family how you were the one that ruined them, how you were the crazy ex etc.
It’s not fair. I know it’s not. But remember,
You lost someone that didn’t love you but they lost someone that loved them more than anything.
Karma will get their ass one day. :banana:
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Hunt for new victims. Stalk former victims. Watch porn. Indulge in other self-absorbing activities and hobbies. Pretend to care about others by exerting the most minimal effort possible. Eat. Sleep. Pee. Poop. Groom. They’re extremely simple creatures and do not deviate from their routines much. They’re also incredibly boring after the initial fake shine turns dull.
_____________________________________
In my experience, my ex has never completely left me alone.
I got phone calls and other forms of contact even 2 years after I had left and gone no contact. It doesn’t affect me anymore. My ex is an empty shell and nothing more, and nothing would persuade me to pick up that phone.
However, they do disappear for long periods of time and some may go away completely, depending on what type of narc you are dealing with and the length of your relationship. When you finally go no contact and mean it this time, in time they will begin to back off as their need for supply will send them back hunting for a new target.
Or when you commit the ultimate offence, and cause narcissistic injury, yes they will immediately seek revenge, but once they have done that they will disappear for long periods of time if not for good. They will find another target, repeat the cycle, it is the only way they can have a ‘relationship’.
And although it is painful to realise this when you are raw and hurting, it is best for us sentient and normal beings, that these toxic monsters disappear for good. They only ever serve themselves and their need for validation, for supply, to feed off the pain of their target. They will abandon you when you no longer serve this purpose. And they will do it with all the callousness and cruelty of the empty human shells they are.
My advice? Abandon them first. :yess:
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Regarding the diagnosed one I knew?
Nothing good. That was for sure.
He seemed to feel compelled to get up to all sorts of trouble for whatever reason. Intentionally.
Indeed, nothing good happened when he was ‘left alone’. He was much like a child on the loose when left alone…
He would get up to all kinds of nefarious sh!t like the duplicitous little prick that he was. So untrustworthy was he. Just like a racehorse bursting out of the starter gate…he was finally free! As if being in a relationship was like being incarcerated for him.
When his partners weren’t around (including his ex wife), he would become even more of a child than he normally was and do all sorts of bad things…’behind her back’.
Like a kid in a candy store.
Porn. Drugs. Drinking. Frivolous spending. Making plans without discussing with his ex. Gambling. Flirting on his photography shoots and online.
Anything that he knew she would not be okay with or that she would disapprove of.
She caught him many times. He wasn’t that swift when it came to covering his tracks.
Their ‘relationship’ became a cat and mouse game where he was always trying to covertly get one over on her. She said that she eventually ended up only feeling like his mother and not like his partner at all.
He seemed to need a freaking babysitter when they were apart. Jfc.
She said that she felt that it was as if he was almost trying to get caught doing some (not all of course) of the things that he was doing.
You know what the worst thing is? He’ll teach his son to lie to and to f**k women around too. Just like his father taught him. Because that is what women ‘are for’. Only to f**k with their heads and to take care of their men anyway…no matter how badly they treat them.
Yuck. Who needs that sh!t? :troll2:
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-a-narcissist-leaves-you-alone
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Page 19 :crayfish:
During a Verbal or Texting Lashing out episode, do women with BPD accuse their special person of being a Narcissist? Even though there is no evidence of that?
💯… very common.
Neither does it just have to be folks diagnosed with BPD that make accusations like this.
Labeling the other person in a relationship a Narc is a great way to absolve the ‘labeller’ of any wrong doing.
(Think: "I know you are but what am I?" *)
Aka… “you're a Narc, I didn't do anything wrong, it's all your fault, I'm fine”
A very convenient way to avoid accountability. Lack of accountability is a classic, and possibly the best, sign of a Cluster B disorder IMHO.
Another part of this is projection.
All Cluster Bs have an underlying and very damaged sense of self worth. ASPD NPD BPD and HPD and different manifestations of the hell they suffered as kids (although sometimes it can be straight genetics).
(trigger warning for those with BPD)…
PwBPD are trying to fill an (unfair) void in themselves with the love and acceptance they don't give themselves.
So they look to get it externally. Usually from a Favourite Person.
Victimhood, manipulation, insults, degrading, affairs, discards are all driven by that unconscious desire. In them.
These highly damaging behaviours (to their FP) are because they want something from you. And they're done without concern for the effects on you. It's about the pwBPD and what they want.
And that's self serving.
Which is narcissistic.
So someone who labels you a Narc is very often projecting their own narcissism and own unresolved trauma onto you.
Good luck making any of those points unless you are dealing with a pwBPD who has committed to and actioned years of DBT, owns their issues and is accountable.
Otherwise they will fight you naked in the street in front of the police before admitting to any of that.
*(rhetorical question, colloquial, childish) Assertion that an insult made by the party to whom the phrase is directed is actually true of that party, and not of the person using the phrase. Usually considered to be a playground taunt.
https://www.yourdictionary.com/i-know-you-are-but-what-am-i
_______________________________________
ABSOLUTELY!!! This was and still is her favorite word for me. Along with ABUSER OF WOMEN, HORRIBLE MAN, DISGUSTING PERSON, and many more but these are the top 4.
My ex still does call me a narcissist as after the breakup she got a job in the neighboring city, moved 2 miles from me after living 35 miles away and now is showing up to my watering hole I've been going for decades and where my social circles are.
I show up this past Saturday night to arrive there as she and here sister, two tall very attractive Latinas are well dressed getting lots of attention in a semi dive bar. She knows damn well what she is doing and it her way of not letting me be not letting me detach and her f*cking somebody I know just to get under my skin. And she says I'm the narcissist.
After nearly 2 years of being called a narcissist and the on again of again relationship that would end abruptly due to her anger outbursts and impulsivity my world was one of unease, I began to see a psychologist. Because i was constantly being accused of being a narcissist I ask to be evaluated. After a full assessment and testing I am not thankfully and as advised by my Dr. kept my results to myself..
After turning around and leaving the bar that she and her sister were I get a call from a number I didn't recognize and it was her sister, I hung up and the following day sent my ex an email asking for her to please give me space and that there are hundreds of other establishments to go other than the 1 and only I've been frequenting for decades, her reply was simple, it read "NARCISSIST!"
______________________________________
A true narcissist is incapable of insight into themselves. They engage in a psychological defense mechanism called “projection” in which they disown their bad personality traits and perceive these traits in other people.
A narcissist is likely to call you selfish, hurtful, cold, uncaring and abusive. It would be laughable, except for the fact that they truly believe it and they will punish you for things that have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
__________________________________________
I would say that we get confused with narcissists more often than we are accused of being one. And this is generally due to what is known as the “overlap”.
For those who aren’t “in the know” narcissistic personality disorder and Borderline personality disorder can “appear” as being similar. And while the behaviours of each might outwardly present themselves in this way, it is the reasons behind the behaviours which separate the two disorders.
Here are some of the main differences:
1: Desires
People with NPD generally wish for others to admire and/or respect them in some form whereas a Borderline wishes for unconditional love and nurturing.
2: Needs
Someone with NPD is looking to stabilise their self esteem as well as enhancing it while someone with BPD is looking to be nurtured and will often wish to receive “reparenting.”
3: Defensive
If they become defensive (such as in the face of the break down of a relationship) the person with NPD will likely devalue their partner and May become hostile.
In the same situation the person with BPD will split their partner (now seeing them as “all bad”) and may take part in self harming tactics.
4: Fears
A person with BPD might fear that they are “unloveable” and will be “abandoned” while a person with NPD might fear being “worthless” and facing “public humiliation.”
Because the reasons behind the behaviours come from such different places it is unfair (and inaccurate) to place these two disorders into the same boat.
They need to both be understood.
https://www.quora.com/During-an-Verbal-or-Texting-Lashing-out-episode-do-women-with-BPD-accuse-their-special-person-of-being-a-Narcissist-Even-though-there-is-no-evidence-of-that
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What is narcissistic persuasion?
Through their evil ability, they make us the addicted pretty quickly. That is what I believe.
The addictive quality is always at work. For some reason, love bombing quickly creates a chemical reaction in our bodies and we become attracted and addicted to that.
Why are narcissists all intense in the beginning?
Precisely for this reason. They want an intense emotional reaction from us as quickly as possible so that we will put our logical mind on the back burner.
Why do we lose so many precious relationships to smearing by narcissists?
Why do people prefer to believe the lies of the narcissist OVER THE TRUTH they lived with knowing us?
Why is the narcissist able to take the Police and the Judge for a ride too?
Precisely for this same reason.
A member of the audience yesterday kindly drew my attention that it is the demon inside them that gives them the mask to act so covertly.
And it is the demon in them that gives them this unique ability to take so many people for a ride.
People have lost their lives to murder and to suicide because of narcissists.
So let us open our eyes real fast. Beware of love bombing. Today anyone charming and that person automatically gives me cold feet.
No authentic person engages in love bombing. It will always be the fake ones that indulge in that manipulative behavior.
__________________________________
Getting you to do something that goes against your strong beliefs and making appear as though the world is going to come to an end, if you don't. Follow your moral compass; your gut is always right.
__________________________________
A very simple and precise understanding of narcissistic manipulation by proxy (also referred to abuse by proxy) is that it is a manipulative strategy used by narcissists in order to manipulate and control others indirectly.
To achieve this, a narcissist will seek out and enlist the assistance of an third party (often referred to as ‘flying monkeys’), which can be a friend, family member, or colleague, in which to out the narcissist's manipulative agenda. The proxy is typically unaware that they are being used by the narcissist and as such will unknowingly participate in harmful behaviours and/or actions on the narcissist's behalf.
____________________________________
They are accomplished liars and they believe the lies they tell as they tell them so often. They also take advantage of other people’s good natures. Most people will try to see the best in others and dont like to think others are capable of such evil behaviour towards others.
Most people prefer to see the good in others and will believe the sob stories and victim playing of narcissists as it’s preferable to believe this then it is to face the reality of what the person really is and what they are capable of.
It’s not always a case of the narcissist being convincing, it’s more a case of others not seeing or wanting to see who they really are. People don’t like to think that others are beyond help and can’t change so will stick around far longer than is healthy to, waiting for them to change.
It’s highly unlikely it will ever happen and the longer you stay with them, the more accepting and tolerant you become of them. They take this as a sign you are always going to stay, regardless of how they behave and in some cases this is a challenge to them and they will see just how far they can push your boundaries.
You will make yourself very miserable, and in some cases, ill... waiting for them to change. Life’s too short to waste with someone who doesn’t deserve you.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-narcissistic-persuasion
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:monalisa:
-
How do you know if you
are dealing with a narcissistic acquaintance male?
I unfortunately have a lot of experience with this kind of people. Let me tell you what helps me.
1. One compliment, I accept and appreciate. Three or more means I automatically SHUT DOWN. Sorry but NOT WORTH RISKING ANYMORE. Have taken enough of these risks in my life.
2. Bombards my phone in the first few months of dating. Block immediately. No asking for clarifications. Just block without any explanation. This person IS BEING FAKE. Definitely and absolutely.
3. Makes demands that I feel are breaching my own boundaries. I will explain nicely but if it happens a second time soon enough, sorry ZERO RISKS.
4. Trying to control me in any way. I love my freedom but there is no way that anyone will ever try to jeopardize that ever again. Zero tolerance.
5. Unable to discuss things in a civil manner.
6. Guilt tripping.
7. Gaslighting
8. Raging. This is very traumatic. No way will I ever witness raging ever again. No matter where this may come from. Splendid excuse and I will walk away like never before.
9. I stick to the truth. My truth. Anyone gaslighting me on that and I will automatically get cold feet.
10. Saying I love you in the first couple of months or making excessive demands on my time.
11. No way will I ever accept verbal abuse ever again. Do it once or twice and I am gone for good.
The above are very clear indications of real danger. Yes danger. The minute you date a narcissist is the minute your life is now in danger.
Don’t be like me. I learnt all the above the hard way.
And please, please NEVER, EVER EMPATHIZE WITH EVIL HUMAN BEINGS. You forgive and forgive and forgive until the day will rise when you are in such trauma and have lost so much that you would wish to die.
Please DON’T.
_____________________________________
They don't seem to have their own friends circle and will never see them hang with a friend, they often mention hard times and act of betrayal by other people, they want to spend as much as they can with you and will guilt trip you if you have other plans.
Example:
Person: i got plans with my family this weekend.
Narcissist: hope you have a good weekend, i'm just gonna be by my lonesome 😥
They'll love bomb you in an obsessive way, including constant messaging and if you don't answer with a set time limit they write something like “sorry to bother you, i'll never annoy you ever again!” As a tactic to lure you in.
They'll get extremely jealous over your friends and will not want to take part in activities involving them, this tactic is designed to isolate you from them.
Their life will be filled with constant drama and tears, drama which they expect you to come up with the solution to fix them.
They always put themselves down in front of you crying about how terrible of a person they are, fishing for your sympathy.
If you suspect you are seeing one, STAY AWAY, nothing good comes from them, once you work your ass off for years to improve this vulnerable covert narcissist's life and then they upgrade to confident covert narcissists. They'll roast you alive as thanks and discard you seeking a fresh new supply to fit their new status.
STAY AWAY.
_____________________________________
Oh my. The ole’ two faced goody two shoes covert.
Well, first of all, the covert narcissist is a little bit harder to detect. Mainly because they aren't the up in your face, hear them a mile off braggart like the ordinary basic narcissist.
These are your quiet, reserved, helpful narcissist. Make no mistake about it though, they are just as dangerous. I believe even more because they are extremely sneaky and secretive.
They play the victim card. They always blame others for everything. Never their fault.
When they become bored and tire of you, they will start discarding you.
They become very cruel monsters.
They are also award winners liars.
They cannot take any type of criticism.
They appear so genuine and helpful, but are actually diabolical parasites. If you are with one, I suggest running.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-know-if-you-are-dealing-with-a-narcissistic-acquaintance-male
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11 Curse Words & Insults From
The '50s We Need To
Bring Back
:smee!: And make it snappy.
https://www.bustle.com/life/11-curse-words-from-the-50s-we-need-to-bring-back-16765036
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Domestic violence almost sounds harmless, but it is the living hell on earth.
Narcissism and Domestic Violence
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guih2Ymy9G0
"YOU CANNOT save your narcissistic loved ones.... You can ONLY save yourself from being destroyed"
Are Narcissists Mentally Ill ?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d76v-GUEGEQ
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What is it like to be a narcissist?
PART ONE
No matter what, they are your typical wounded child who never grew up emotionally. Their emotional level is stuck at their childhood trauma period with one word: the period of "Abuse".
With all being said, no matter how good the source of supply is, they will sooner or later get bored since they possess a really low boredom tolerance level.
They tend to hit on victims that possess high levels of Empathy or Empaths, because they are vulnerable and they are easy to be charmed and manipulated. Before the LB-DV-DI process they will start to test the new victim causing drama out of the blue, since drama bring excitement and everything that’s new is exciting.
They will cause drama out of the blue and see with how much they are able to walk away. If you leave them walk away with everything that gives them the green light that you possess high levels of empathy and you are a long term source of supply. However, if you resist their attempts they will discard you early on and move to the next source of supply. They are your typical druggies searching for Fuel aka their fix. If you passed their whole tests the cycle starts.
They follow a predictable relationship pattern of LB-DV-DI.
LB-rising the victim on the pedestal making him her feel special, telling them all the stuff they need to hear while they mirror the victim aka shape shifting to the victims character traits or copying the victim, with one word making the victim fall in love with themselves.
This is the closest the NPD will ever get to feel love, Idealization aka Love Bombing is a form of infatuation or obsession with their possession in this case the victim. They are obsessed with their new doll or object they want that so bad.
A NPD enters the relationship to fill his/her void pulling all the weight to the shoulders of the victim with one word. They seek for the impossible basically wanting the other people to fix them or fill their emptiness.
No matter what others do they will never be able to fill that emptiness because the problem is them not the other people around. After a period of time the void will be back in and they will start to think as maybe the new victim was not special after all since the void is still there. Basically the boredom starts to kick in and they will start to Devalue, once the Devalue starts there is no turning back.
Devalue-Basically it can happen gradually or suddenly when they get bored or called on their actions, once they start to devalue they start to groom new sources of supplies switching all their energy and time to someone else since it takes them a lot to manipulate new people.
It’s a whole new different challenge especially the people that are careful with sharing their empathy. They will pull back and suddenly switch all the attention from you to someone else. The victim will be left in vain not knowing what happened, what did they do, how it happened etc.
The victim starts to search for answers they will totally or completely ignore the victims attempts further more manipulating the victim.
__________________________________
The same as what it feels to be evil. Thanks to a short circuit in their heads they feel nothing for people around them. As long as they pay up, the narcissist have a use for them. Stop paying and you will see how they can become.
__________________________________________
Going by what I observed with the two I was forced to put up with for a while, they feel superior and firmly believe they are smarter than everyone else.
I have yet to find a narcissist who doesn't secretly believe(s) he’s a genius, or super intelligent - above the rest of us for sure. They lie habitually and present themselves as God’s gift to humanity and, since most people don’t call them out on it, they believe they've successfully sold their false persona to everyone. So, they must be smarter.
The ones I know seem to think manipulation is a superpower, as well as being mean to others. They look down on decent people who hold themselves to higher standards and value truth, honesty, sincerity, and take care not to harm.
One of the NPD-afflicted persons I had to deal with told me, giddily, with all the joy you’d see in a child who ate a bucket of ice cream while everyone slept, how “mean” she can be “when she wants to”. She bragged about it. She loves the fact she can be super mean for no reason whatsoever, just cause she likes the feeling of power it gives her.
But her everyday-persona is that of a confused, misunderstood, shy rose who needs constant propping and a never-ending stream of encouragement or she’ll wilt and fade away.
They are also very jealous and envious. Everything you are and have may become a bone of contention and a reason for a narcissist to lash out. Someone laughed at your joke but not at hers? Get ready to pay for it, one way or the other. Someone paid you a compliment, but not to her - that will cost you dearly.
With one NPD, at one point, I found myself buying one for her of whatever I’d buy for myself. I like that t-shirt? Better get one for her too, or she’ll be offended. Almond milk? Let me get enough for both of us, or she’ll see it in my fridge and turn nasty for feeling excluded from my new regime. And “she” was merely my next-door neighbor - that insignificant in my life - who little-by-little assumed the role of my judge and master. They buzz around you tirelessly, forcing you to put them up front and center of your mind and life, or suffer the consequences.
After those experiences, I find narcissist’s onslaught is akin to occupation. When you are targeted, you soon find you are preoccupied with them. They’ll constantly text you, call you, involve you in their stuff, ask for your opinion on everything from how to button a shirt to flying to Mars - in addition to love-bombing you. When you attempt to wiggle out of the invasion, they’ll abruptly withdraw all the ‘love’ and ‘admiration’, act hurt, sulk and search for ways to punish you.
They also resent you if you meet new people, become friends with someone new, acquire new contacts and make new connections. If you want to start a new course, join a new exercise group, try something new, you have to take them with you, or they’ll feel slighted and insulted. You belong to them, so better not try to exercise your free will and act outside of their influence.
Most of all, they feel empty - desolate, and bored. I think being by themselves and facing themselves scares them the most. It’s as if there’s an abyss in there and they don’t dare look into it. That is probably why they are so reckless and always on the prowl for their next victim.
Try not to dwell too much on how it feels to be afflicted with disorders. For all their greed, one-upmanship, manipulation and effort invested in climbing up and over the corpses, narcissists seem to be quite unhappy. They are never satisfied with what they have, nothing is ever enough for them. It must be torture.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-a-narcissist
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What is it like to be a narcissist?
PART TWO
As an actual narcissist, I'm writing anonymously to avoid being exposed.
I may not be officially diagnosed with NPD (nor I'd ever want to be), but two of my psychologists, including the current one, described me as "a narcissist", and being a psychology student myself, I think it's unfortunately accurate.
My self-image, it's quite inconsistent. Sometimes, I do feel grandiose, but in many aspects I am objectively above-average, at least.
Since I've had episodes of serious depression, I'll explain it in comparison to that.
When you are depressed, you view yourself as horrible by cherry-picking your worst qualities and experiences. It might be accurate - if a bit exaggerated - but you forget about the good things.
Now, narcissistic grandiosity feels like the opposite of that. You cherry-pick your best qualities and experiences. When you think of yourself, only your successes and capabilities come to your mind. (Part accurate, part exaggerated).
Now how does being a narcissist feel? I think the feeling I could most strongly attribute to being a narcissist, is the constant need to be important, respected and powerful. If people treat you with just a tiny little bit less respect than you think you deserve, you get angry. And by angry, I mean internally consumed by rage.
That awful, bitter feeling started in my childhood (obviously). I'll describe the process as well as I can.
So... I used to be a very kind, intelligent, but a bit spirited, and more than a bit aggressive child until my early teens. While I was always in the top quarter of the class, and pretty responsible for my age, there were those times, when I was told off, called cheeky, punished, ect... For most people, this is a normal part of their childhood, but for me, it increasingly felt like being unfair to me, and I couldn't accept that.
I resented adults (and I still do) more than anything. Every mistake seemed bigger in their eyes when I made them, than when they did. Swearing, wanting too much, becoming angry, speaking my mind had much more consequences for me, than for them. (I know, this is true for all minor mistakes of children, compared to that of their parents, but still. I couldn't accept. I can't.)
They spotted all my mistakes so well, so I began to spot theirs.
My parents were relatively sensible people, as far as parents go, but they were certainly no angels. They often shouted at each other, swore all the time, and talked to me and each other in a pretty rude way. They smoked. They lied. (Who doesn't?) They didn't always do well in their jobs.
Basically not serious abusive stuff. But they (and other adults) were of course scandalized, if we kids did any of that. I always asked them why, and they always reasoned with things like "It's not your house, You live on your parents' money, We know better, You should respect your elders...".
And I just felt desperate and powerless. I was too young to work and unqualified anyway. I couldn't grow up instantly, but I often fantasized about that when we'll get older, they would get it all back. They would be dependent on ME! And I would tell them off! I would be the boss. And most of all, I'd be BETTER than them. I'd show them that I've ALWAYS been!
But well, meanwhile I had to get my way somehow. I knew by that time that kindness and logic don't convince everyone, honesty just gets you into trouble, and obedience makes your superiors have even higher expectations towards you. And that is where the narcissist's best friend, manipulation comes into the picture. I had to learn how different kinds of people react to different approaches. To use my words as a means to an end, rather than wearing my heart on my sleeve.
In some situations, i needed to tone my tactless, aggressive personality down. That was pretty difficult, but worth it. I genuinely became more patient because of this little self-control exercise.
In others, I needed to exaggerate my emotions. That came pretty naturally.
And by my late teens, I tended to switch from nice to furious in seconds. (It can baffle people into compliance.)
Guilt-tripping and directing the blame at others came as a family legacy. (Heh.)
All of this for that sweet, sweet feeling of power.
Still, I empathize with other people, and will be benevolent towards them, as long as they at least treat me like an equal. But I'll be hell-bent on humiliating those, who are condescending towards me.
Despite all of this, I think it's possible to channel all these possibly harmful urges into something positive. If you want to be admired and feel powerful, you can deceive yourself and others into thinking that you are, OR you can work towards being actually admired and powerful.
That's what I'm trying to do. I used to go to a therapy group, where I realized that helping people gives me a rush of power that is much more satisfying than simple, selfish manipulation. Honestly grateful "admirers" are much better than mislead ones. Thus, I found my place in the field of psychology.
...So that's all. You can be disgusted by me or think I'm a horrible person, but these are the feelings of a certain narcissist. And hey, at least I'm self-aware, and trying to better myself. And wrote this long text for your entertainment.
(So feel free to feel thankful and praise me. :P )
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-is-it-like-to-be-a-narcissist
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Other than the previous Poster,
What will a narcissist never tell you?
Your truth. They’ll never tell you are truthful EVER, even after YOU bleed. You’ll never see fairness or justice. If that’s what you expect, you’re not going to get it from them.
They’ll never tell you how scared they are. Cowards. You can crush them with a tone, a look. Weak. Childish, simple. You’ve crushed them many times, you just didn’t know it. But don’t get them twisted, they’ve already planned a sadistic revenge against you.
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The narcissist will never tell you, that they spend there entire lives running from themselves. Trying to find distraction after distraction, supply after supply, so they can temporarily remove their focus from the one thing that terrifies them more than anything - their true selves.
The narcissist will never tell you, that honesty, sincerity and genuity, are nothing more than empty words to them, the meanings of which are completely alien to them.
The narcissist will never tell you that, if history is at all a good predictor of the future, that you should run - fast and far. Because the narcissist has a dodgy and checkered background, infested with failed relationships and angry exes.
The narcissist will never tell you, that they know how to take, take and take something more, but they do not know how to give. With the narcissist, you will be accepting a
one-way relationship.
The narcissist will never tell you that they have no ability to care about you, your needs, your desires, and/or your feelings. Their lack of emotional empathy, means they are unable to care about you.
The narcissist will never tell you, that all they will ever care about is how much and how well you supply them, at any given moment in time. Now, now,… and now.
The narcissist will never tell you, that it is in your best interest to walk away, now, because they have nothing good or sincere to offer you.
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Narcissists don't want you to know their true intentions, who they really are, what they are capable of, and what they have done in the past. Narcissists do not want you to see behind their fake facade, they want you to only accept them, because of their fear of rejection and abandonment.
They don't want you to know they are only in it for themselves, and that they are takers and not givers. They don’t want you to that they will try to destroy every opportunity they get.
They won’t tell you that they know you’re strong, and noble which makes them weak and immoral.
They won't tell you that they need you far greater than you ever needing them.
They won’t tell you that your happiness reminds them of their inability to happy.
They won’t tell you that they have a great deal of self-hatred, and self-loathing.
They won’t tell you that they fear rejection, and hate being called out on their behavior or criticized for anything.
They won’t tell you that they live a double life with many different skeletons in their closets that will scare you like the boogie man.
They don't want you to know that they don’t care about you and have no ability to care about you, and for you.
They do not have access to attributes like compassion, empathy - and only think about what they want or need from others. Despite all that, the narcissist will do everything possible to manipulate you, to give them that much more leverage over you as a way to control you.
They don't want you to know that they are unable to generate good feelings from within, because they have nothing good to offer except chaos, confusion, and emotional terror.
They don't want you to know that there is a significant and profound fear of abandonment residing at the core of their inner psyche.
They deal with inner demons, and emotional torture. Underneath the confidant exterior is a weak, vulnerable, and insecure individual who is empty, shallow, and afraid. Narcissists do not want you to know that it is in your best interest to run from them, as fast, and far away from them as you can.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-will-a-narcissist-never-tell-you-7
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How do I get a narcissist
to leave me?
Hold them to the truth. ALL THE TIME.
They can’t stand that.
Don’t let them lie about where they were. Don’t let them take credit for things they didn’t do.
Correct them when they tell you a story and embellish their part in it. Play down their claims to greatness in front of other people.
Correct their pronunciation or grammar. OMG, stand back when you do that.
Demand to see their phone and be given the passcode. They will leave immediately.
In short, go poking around in their secret life and they will probably leave all of their stuff behind and never come back.
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The thing you have to remember about NPDs is that they so often use DARVO. *
The reason why they do this is because they do not have the empathy or sometimes even the cognitive empathy to know how to react when they get caught in a lie. They have to mimic and commandeer your behavior. They resort to their tried and true strategy of attack and they will do so relentlessly if you cause a narcissistic injury by calling them out on a lie.
Unfortunately, I am speaking from experience. They are very good at choosing minions and some of their minions will also have Cluster B personalities, which means they will happily make up lies and now you are one person up against 2 or 3 or 4 people who all say they are witnesses to something that never happened.
Cluster Bs like to help Cluster Bs because it is fun and because they resent NTs. They act covertly so they will never confront you unless you insist on it, but if you do you will lose because they have falsified so much evidence and they have practiced their story and their distorted version of reality. Even your witnesses will be confused on the chronology of events and facts because NTs do not sit around all day with minions in an echo chamber getting their story right.
They are not smart and they are not as calculating as they seem. This is survival for them and it is the basic practice of a few barbaric tools that they use instinctively over and over again and you are no match as as NT who has empathy. They know that you won’t lie because you suck at it and because you have remorse.
They see your empathy and your ability to feel remorse as a weakness. They will twist everything around and act like victims. If you call an NPD out on a lie be ready for a war that you cannot win. All NPDs are different and many will give in and just leave because they want easy prey.
You have to decide what you are dealing with before employing this technique. It didn’t go well for me.
* Deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender (DARVO) is a tactic a person may use to deflect responsibility onto an individual they have abused. It is a form of manipulation a person may use to discredit a survivor's experience.
___________________________
Don’t be a victim. They can’t stand up to strength. Just give it them straight and between the eyes. They disappear like magic, that’s if you don’t leave first. Because, once you see how they operate, it’s pathetic.
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Ha ha ha—DO The Same Thing They Do To YOU—LIE To Them, YES!
Once you are Sick & Tired of dealing with the Devil - Don't Beg & Cry for him to LEAVE—NO. Instead DO the following:
Tell him you have been diagnosed with an incurable disease—you only have 6 weeks left to live.
You just lost your job and need him to start paying bills.
The mortgage is late and needs to be paid—by him.
The refrigerator is empty and he needs to buy groceries.
He needs to start wearing the pants in the family, and be the bread winner.
YES, That is the Narcissist’s Kryptonite—He will RUN, and you will NEVER see him again.
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By putting your emotions out of reach and blocking them off you take away their ammunition against you. They are unable to "read" you. By cutting off your emotions, you are now on the same playing field with them.
You can coldly calculate your next move, just as they do. You are now talking to a Robot as a Robot. Robots don't emote. They don't react. Robots don't care. Robots can't be guilted, or shamed, or bullied.
It consists primarily of locking away your emotions and intellectualizing about what is happening between you and the narcissist - instead of feeling it. You must realize that the narcissist is reading your emotions and calculating responses based upon what they read.
If you stop thinking about what your feeling and block off your emotions from the predatory narcissist, then you are free to analyze what is happening with a cool and detached mind and make better decisions about how to respond - or not to respond.
Remember, the narcissist is an emotional manipulator whose goal is to provoke you to react, or even better, overreact. Then they can derail you from the point you were trying to make, or the bad behavior which you were confronting them about, or the boundary you were trying to set.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-get-a-narcissist-to-leave-me?no_redirect=1
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Why did it have to end so badly with a narcissist?
Narcissistic relationships will always end badly!!
ALWAYS!
Its forewritten somewhere!! How can it possibly be any other way?
This is how it happens:
When the narc first meets the insignificant other, they actually believe with their whole FELAFEL U*ked up mind and with their whole black heart, that THIS is “ the one.”
The one they've spent their whole life looking for.
The one who constantly amires them.
The one who puts all the narc's needs before their own!
The one who constantly dotes on and compliments the narc because their little child inauthentic fake-ass egos need that!
The one that never asks questions of the narc.
The one who lets the narc do whatever the narc wants to do and never gets angry.
That's exactly what the narc is looking for, so you are “ the one.”
However, reality eventually kicks in as in normal relationships and you've gone from the infatuated stupid phase and settle into the “love “ stage.
As soon as things get all comfy and settle in for the winter, the narc loses interest because they found out you really aren't the one after all.
You are just like all the others before!!
Always such a f*cking disapointment.
You shall be punished for your behavior! It's all YOUR fault because the narcissist is incapable of self reflection!!
What relationship will end well with those kinda odds??
Certainly not a healthy one!
When most relationships dont work out, two people go their seperate ways. Sometimes even remaining friends.
When the narc relationship ends, you wont know until you've been punished in the most horrific , insane, diabolical, insidious, sneaky fukked up ways that will leave you doubting all you've ever known…about …everything!
It'll end with the narc blaming YOU for all their bad behavior!
Why???
Because you weren't “ the one.”
Fact!!!
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A narcissistic relationship is a grand fiction built with lofty ideas and dopamine.
A narcissist enters every relationship ‘drugged up’ on grandiosity, exhibiting uncanny confidence and enthusiasm. The narcissist achieves this by idealising their target, dissociating from their repressed shadow, and compartmentalising reality in a specific way — only good vibes and superior concepts are allowed into this grandiosity-fuelled space.
Dazzled by the show, the target lowers their boundaries. They allow themselves to enjoy being adulated as perfect, and revels in being made the single focus of an ‘amazing’ person’s attention. Being idealised is intoxicating. Much like a drug, the idealisation experience gradually overwhelms the target’s senses until their reality is consumed by fantasy.
As the weeks and months pass, the target invests all of their emotions, thoughts, actions, energy, resources, hopes and ambitions into the relationship, convinced that it is real. However, much like a drug-induced high, the inevitable comedown approaches. When it does, the narcissist’s shadow comes howling out, and the relationship takes a dark and toxic turn. And what does someone do when the drugs wear off? They seek out more of it. However, the more they take, the less effect it has.
Both narcissist and target struggle to resuscitate the fantasy, growing more desperate as the relationship devolves into anger, mistrust, resentment and abuse. When the end arrives, and the narcissist tosses the target away, the target realises that everything they gave to the relationship was for nothing.
Finally, the target realises the most soul-crushing truth of all: They invested their mind, body, soul and being into a fiction. Coming down from a night of drug-fuelled partying is rough. A months-or-years-long version of the same thing proves calamitous. The house of cards comes crashing down, except there is no ground to fall onto — only the abyss. A core part of the target’s psyche collapses with it, destabilising their mental balance.
Then the nightmare begins.
When a large chunk of your life proved not to be real, you are left questioning what reality actually is. When you’ve lowered your boundaries to zero and been left defenceless to a toxic person for long periods, the trauma seeps in like a poison which takes many years to dissipate.
When you’ve had someone systematically reprogram your views and beliefs about the world and yourself, you are left with a virus in your mind which continues to torture you long after the relationship has ended.
‘Devastating’ is an understatement.
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BECAUSE IT WAS INEVITABLE.
In the history of mankind, there's never been a good ending with a narcissist.
Unless you're on death row right now.
Then still, not so good.
Narcissists:
Do not emotionally attach.
Hate you but stay with you.
Abuse, neglect and disrespect you.
Are uncommitted and disloyal.
Can't and don't care about the pain they cause you.
Are recidivists and repeat every hurtful thing they do to you.
Ride you till the wheels fall off.
Leave you in the most disrespectful and atrocious manner to go be with someone they were cheating on you with.
Relish in the pain that they caused you.
Feel that they owe you zero explanation because you brought the narcissists actions on yourself and you deserve it.
This is all caused by an incurable disorder.
The narcissist won't ever be able to be a normal or caring person.
They will do what they did to you to every person they'll ever be with.
It's disordered behavior, caused by a disordered thought process.
As such, the ending will be completely insane.
That's why it had to end that way.
The narcissists hates you, and doesn’t give 2 f*cks about the effect they have on you, or how they part ways with you.
It could've never ended well because at the end of the charade the narcissist wants you to understand how much they despise you and how worthless they feel you are.
That's just how the disorder manifests.
https://www.quora.com/Why-did-it-have-to-end-so-badly-with-a-possible-narcissist
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:gaol:
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Narcissism equals need for external validation of the false self. Self care is different than that and it is healthy, but we all must decide for ourselves what that means.
Is Narcissism Ever Necessary or Beneficial?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6EdR1tqAjs
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Narcissists are like vampires - they feed off you but shrivel & evaporate in the bright sunlight of public exposure.
Why Narcissists Use People: Narcissistic Relationships Are Transactional
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m83qXdO9DCQ
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Not seeing another person as human but an object will forever be WILD to me.
Narcissists, The Organic A.I.: The Eliza Effect
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK0kLWMfQuE
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Satan was the first narcissist - no empathy - no ability to love - full of envy.
Is Narcissism a Mental Illness or Something More?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDsGkY79b84
@kimsmith819
2 years ago (edited)
Omg, yes a narcissist is definitely like a parasite attacking you physically and mentally
@crencottrell7849
2 years ago
It's really a demonic spirit
@icherishcrochetandknit309
2 years ago
It is definitely a spiritual condition. They are possessed and need to be saved and set free!
@lluvleylex9358
2 years ago (edited)
I am sure it’s mental illness also spiritual warfare.
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Female narcissist are more effective, because people don't think woman can be this evil, but they are.
The Female Narcissist Today... Toxic Traits to Look Out For
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8usLsL7KhGE
@jimmytoy8556
1 day ago
There once was a women that laughed at her partner and publicly humiliated him until he put three to the back of her head! True story.
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International Diplomacy
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What? The narc wants me to take it back? That's a suicide mission, one that I won't accept.
Three very painful things that every survivor of narcissistic abuse says
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spG05Ax8c6k
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In order to fail at something, there first needs to be a chance at succeeding.
Did I Fail The Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kAPrgcE78dM
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"In the shelter of life's storms, God stands as the unwavering protector, His divine embrace shielding us from the tempests that seek to unravel our spirit. Trust in His grace, for in the refuge of His love, we find strength, solace, and the unyielding assurance that we are safeguarded by a force greater than any adversity."
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What is the quickest way to get over a narcissist?
They got you addicted to their attention, love, care and validation while they fooled you or manipulated you, where you thought they genuinely felt for you.
Your whole self worth, self esteem, self respect, self value, self love is dependent on their love and respect, not from the abuse they put you through.
They are the bad friend to you who gets a good friend addicted to drugs. You are having severe withdrawal symptoms while they are withholding everything that felt good for you including: emotions, attention, love, care, etc.
Your self esteem is shattered from the abuse that they put you through.
You doubt your own vision, sanity, abilities, beauty and character from the trauma that they put you through with their manipulating, gaslighting, stone walling, emotional withholding, emotional blackmail, grooming, projections, silence, mirroring etc. etc.
It happened so fast and suddenly you are confused and you don’t know what happened. You didn’t see it coming. You were flying high on Cloud 9 while they suddenly dropped you like a hot rock and you never saw it coming.
You can’t accept the fact that they fooled and manipulated you since day 1.
It’s a really hard pill to swallow.
You have mixed feelings of anger and love for them. You can’t see the dynamics of what's going on.
There is hope inside of you that they will see their mistakes and change. You believe that the love that you are giving them is stronger than anything and you can change them and overcome this madness. You are basically reflecting your own emotions of sorrow, sadness, anger and grief.
The bitter truth is THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE THEIR TOXIC WAYS.
You loved this person genuinely and felt for them from the depth of your heart, while they never truly loved or cared about you. All they cared about was what they could gain from you.
There is a battle going on with your mind and body, trying to make sense of what happened, and you can never find the answers because they make no sense at all.
They never provided you closure because they know how much effect that has in your life, so they wanna confuse you furthermore, or leave the option to Hoover themselves back in when they feel like it.
You let them surpass all of your boundaries. You did whatever they asked you to do.
You were the sweetest person on the planet. Now you have lost your grip on your old characteristic Self. You are just a shadow lurking behind their back.
If you had a chance to show them how much you love them, you would have ripped your heart out for that person, while they never cared.
You are surrounding yourself with questions like:
Did they really love me?
Did I mean anything to them?
How easy it was for them to move on like nothing happened, after all those things that we had together and all of those promises?
What did I do wrong?
Is it my fault?
What could I have done differently?
Do I look terrible? Am I a bad person? I mean, if I had done my best they would have still been with me in the relationship, right?
The answer to all of your questions is simple: NO, you didn’t do anything wrong.
You have to know what you are dealing with: an immature kid who never grew up emotionally or spiritually sound because of the childhood trauma they had.
They don’t possess empathy. They can’t connect to people or love them since they have no idea what love really means, so you have to convince yourself that you are the mature person and you have to walk away from them.
You don’t need to fix or help anyone so they will love you. It’s not your job. You don’t need toxic people in your life. You need someone who is stable with their feelings and accepts you for the way you are. You don’t need to punish them, because they are already punished by life and the emotional turmoil which manifests within them.
HOW TO MOVE FORWARD?
Accept the fact that the person never really loved, cared for, respected or valued you. It was all an act. Accept the fact that you got "Played".
Accept the fact that you never truly loved them, but you loved their mask or facade; an illusion that they presented to you since day 1.
Accept the fact that you did your best and no one could have done better.
The problem is them, not you.
Accept the fact that you deserve better, because you are human and you have value and worth; you are not a plaything in their toybox.
Start regaining everything back by working on yourself. Bring yourself up to where you were and need to be, No one will do it for you. Let your healing begin.
Take it as if you are in a drug abuse rehab program. The moment you surrender to your feelings you are back to square 1, and all of your efforts will be gone while you are half way to get clean and sober.
Accept the fact that you don’t need revenge, because that would only hurt you not them. Revenge will make you no better than they are. With that they would turn you into them: soul sucking vampires. It’s not in your best interests to seek revenge upon a kid. Not a "good look".
Accept the fact that you are the mature person here.
Go out and distract yourself. Have a wonderful time. Listen to some Rock n Roll, dance, have a drink, let your hair down, meet new people and forget about the toxic person for your own sake and sanity.
Go full No Contact, cutting everything off from them including social media and numbers.
Feel blessed that it ended and God saved you at the right moment from this person. It could have been much worse; they could have injured or killed you. It does happen.
God gives us people that we need, not the ones that we want. This was the most difficult test that He gave you, and if he removed this person from your life, He had a strong reason behind that.
Accept the fact that what comes from God is always welcomed, and you don’t posses the strength to question His decision. He will give you the right person when you least expect it. Have some faith and believe.
THE LESSONS YOU SHOULD LEARN FROM THIS EXPERIENCE:
Do not trust people easily; it takes a considerably long time to trust someone.
Do not empathize with everyone. Be smart to share your empathy with the right people and steer clear of the wrong ones.
Being nice to people is good, but that does not mean you should be someone's doormat so they can abuse you.
Do not allow anyone to abuse you in any way. If they do, you walk away without confrontations because they're not worthy of your benevolence.
If someone cheats or lies, walk away without a single thought. Do not hope, because if they do it once they will do it again. Live by this rule: "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, F*CK OFF!"
Learn to judge people from their actions, not their background, personality disorders or words. Who cares if they have BPD, ASPD, NPD or Psychopathy? You are not in a position to help anyone; you are Kind Soul, not a professional psychologist or a psychiatrist.
Learn to help yourself firstly then other people. If you don’t love, respect or value yourself, you can’t love anyone else, period.
Learn to walk away from Toxic People, because life's experiences help us grow as mature individuals.
Learn that no one can hurt you as long as you don’t allow them to.
It’s on you, not them.
Give people what they deserve. If they treat you like sh!t, you answer back with the same things in full measure. Let them know who is the boss of you.
Do not try to make sense of the nonsense. Do not drop yourself low enough to understand people with personality disorders. They will drag you to their level and turn you to lunacy. Do not overthink, just live for the moment.
Gently blame yourself and apologize to yourself for letting that person abuse you. They do not deserve an apology from you, your inner self does. Consider it a learning experience, and never forget it.
Do not ever try to ask for empathy from a predator. It’s like walking into a Wolf's Lair and expecting them to understand you while you beg, cling, plead for the predator's empathy, asking them to love, not hurt you. Will they be able to understand those things?
If you do walk in that lair, I would blame you, not the wolf, because you are an easy prey. It’s a cruel world out there; if you act weak or vulnerable to predators they will hurt you and care less, and that would become a "YOU problem".
Learn to look at things as how they are, not as how you want them to be. Learn when you are dealing with predators to think with your head, not with your emotions or feelings. Knowing the truth and acting with feelings is stupid. Be smart.
Basically your mind is clouded by your broken heart and you can’t see any difference what's real and what's not. That’s a big NO when you're dealing with people that have no clue what empathy is. Respect and take care of yourself first, then go forth into the world with love and compassion for others. Amen.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-quickest-way-to-get-over-a-narcissist
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Why do narcissists say the most hurtful things?
They are never peaceful inside.
Never content.
Internally, that chasm, that abyss of nothingness is like a distended stomach of an emaciated child. It grows with every passing moment because they do nothing to fill it, not permanently. It growls with hunger for what it doesn’t know, but it knows temporary relief occurs when someone else is hurting, distressed, upset, especially when they’re the cause of that hurt.
They love chaos because it distracts them from the hell, the absence of their inner life is. Once you see who they really are, even when they are love bombing or pretending to be content, you will feel incredibly anxious and stressed by their energy, because you know they are gripping on to this tenuous facade of contentedness with all they have.
For me this entailed full blown panic attacks and blow ups, and, incredibly, this was more likely to occur when he was being fake nice or fake content. I am someone who has always always shied away from fake or surface interactions. I am an introvert, and grow exhausted by the superficiality of society and large groups of people, and yes, it is incredible to me that someone like this fooled me, when I am extraordinarily sensitive to bullshit, so his facade, once identified, was almost physically painful for me.
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Because they are hurt. They may accuse you of hurting them, but the truth is they were hurt long ago and more than likely you have done nothing wrong. But in their eyes you do everything wrong. So they have to get back at you. They have to get back at everyone to compensate for their own lack of self-worth.
They say the most hurtful things because this is their defense mechanism. You will never hear " thank you, I needed to hear that", "or thank you for thinking of me"…everything good you try to do gets turned around and they look at you as the enemy.
They basically look at everyone that way after a while and instead of trying to work out whatever it is. They need to hurt. And they will say the most hurtful things you have ever heard. Hopefully, you do not listen, and cut these people out of your life for good because these hurtful words only get more hurtful with time and who needs to constantly hear hurtful things about themselves, especially when they aren't even true?
F*ck 'em.
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That's because that's how they feel about you. When the Narc I knew was mean and said hurtful things to me, I knew he was finally telling me the truth.
They feed off your reaction to the hurtful words they say because you thought they love and care about you. You think there's no way they actually mean that, right?
But they do. They hate you. They hate me and ultimately they hate themselves and are not capable of loving anyone.
So, f*ck 'em.
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They’re generally dissatisfied with life, and despite their proclamations to the contrary, they freaking LOVE conflict and drama.
If things are peaceful, they become bored and life seems stale to them—they’re addicted to things being in an uproar, that whoosh of adrenaline they get when things are in turmoil. Drama is their drug of choice.It’s like a challenge to them, but they only really like challenges where they orchestrate those challenges, so that way they can control the outcome, increasing their feelings of power, superiority, and that no one’s a bigger badass than them.
So…if you seem happy and content, they get a bit snarly and toss a monkey wrench at ya, which they hope that pushes your buttons significantly that causes you to give them some kind of backlash that they can legitimately smack you down for your audacious assumption that you don’t appreciate their innocent attempts to improve you with their “well-intentioned” evisceration of you, only meant to make you “stronger”. And therefore receive their stamp of approval.
Which, of course, you can NEVER receive, because they’ll flip-flop on you every single time, even if you do or say what they told you the LAST time they criticized you and you think, “Oh, I know what I’m supposed to say and do this time…this is what he/she told me the last time I displeased him/her.”
NOPE. They just wanna stir things up and see what happens, just so they can make it “all better again”, and if they somehow lose control of you and the situation and you get pissed off and fight back in a way that they weren’t expecting or you decide, that’s IT, ENOUGH of this shite, I’m OUT, then they’ll hoover you all over again to try and regain what power they lost.
F*ck 'em.
It’s just mind games and manipulation.
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The narcissist is filled with bitterness and envy. They believe themselves to be Superior, part of a master race, if you will. The narcissist should be exalted not for what they have done (which is lie, cheat and steal), but for who they wish to be — the living God/Godess that walks among us.
The irony is that the narcissist is inherently inferior, they lack grit, fortitude, the ability to endure.
When you play along with the narcissist’s charade, when you oblige the narcissist by aiding and abetting their fantasy of Superiority, you indicate that you are ready and willing to be abused.
The narcissist then pours out their incredible hatred upon you, simply because you allow it. If you were a hard, callous opponent, busy with other things, they would be much more circumspect. Such people reinforce the narcissists inherent inferiority, they hold a mirror up to the narcissist and reflect their insignificance.
Hateful people hurt people. F*ck 'em.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-say-the-most-hurtful-things?no_redirect=1
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How do narcissists react to rejection?
Narcissists CAN’T HANDLE rejection!! It is the capital offense, biggest hit to their ego you can possibly deal.
They call this a “narcissistic injury” as it is unbearable for the narcissist. Here are a few ways they will react in general, depending on the individual you may see only a few or combination of the patterns below:
Temper Tantrum - Be ready for the emotional storm of your life!! They will fly off the handle in outrage, in full on assault mode. Be prepared to be ridiculed, insulted, torn apart - having everything you have ever said and experienced with them thrown back in your face in the cruelest way possible.
In person, they will be frightening, maybe even threatening. On the phone they will be shouting at you incessantly with the intent to make you cry, apologize, and submit. If they text you or write to you, you will see their seething anger in every line they write to tear you down and berate you. They will hold nothing back as their aim is to hurt you in the worst way possible.
Extreme Devaluation - Because YOU rejected him/her, the narcissist needs to COMPENSATE for this. They will point out every flaw and begin to criticize you with extreme contempt. They need to diminish you to make themselves feel powerful and superior - they need to CONVINCE themselves that you are - unworthy, undeserving, unattractive, useless, unwanted, and undesirable to them.
They LIE to themselves to make themselves feel better about the emotional blow to their ego. Deep inside they feel incompetent, inferior, insecure, unloved, and unwanted, so they need to turn that around to take that off of themselves and put it back on YOU
Script Switch- At this point the narcissist gave all they had to getting what they wanted out of you, and they were CONFIDENT that you would oblige them, but now that you rejected or denied them, they see this as the ultimate BETRAYAL.
You see, this whole time they believed they were in CONTROL and ENTITLED to whatever it was they wanted from you that they could take for themselves. They will tell you and pretend to themselves that they didn’t “want you”, that you were “no good” for them anyway. It’s like the proverbial sour grapes story - they did not win their prize so now they have to turn it around and make you out to be of lesser quality simply because they couldn’t have you.
Replace, AKA "Discard"- Now that they couldn’t get what they wanted out of you, they will try to REPLACE you as soon as possible. They need to push you out of their lives and REJECT you back to REGULATE their ego. They will be back at the slot machines of online dating in a heartbreak to look for a better prize. They need to find someone who has values and attributes that you don’t have - perhaps someone younger, more attractive, more successful, more obedient, etc., anyone who will one-up you to make the narcissist feel better about themselves
Erase - Now that you have REJECTED them, they must DELETE you entirely to remove themselves from the HURT that you have caused them. They want to create a delusion where you never existed, so they will treat you like you are DEAD to them. This way, they can FORGET that the painful rejection ever happened!
They will also rewrite and script and the narrative to anyone who will listen, and make YOU out to be the loser in the situation. They will say that they never wanted you, they will warn you to never speak to them again, and they will weaponize their apathy to show you how little you mean to them. For narcissists, this is the ONLY WAY to regain their power and control over a situation to try to come out on top.
Do you now see how predictable, jaded, childish, and delusional they are?
Everything I mentioned above is utilized so that they can feel SUPERIOR over you, and it’s quite pathetic really.
What you need to do in this situation is to walk away - let the fool think he/she has won, and know that they do this so they can patch up their wounds. This is NOT how healthy and stable people operate, so take this poor behavior at face value and realize what you are dealing with is a temperamental child that didn’t get their way.
All of their screaming, pouting, and and storming off as a child worked on their mothers so now they are going to use that approach on you because it is all they know how to get their way.
It’s sad, it’s pathetic, and it’s even laughable when you can take a step back and see it for what it is. Just know that you have DODGED a BULLET and commend yourself for sticking to your guns and NOT GIVING IN TO THEIR BULL$HIT!!
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Rejection is possibly the strongest form of narcissistic injury a person with NPD can experience. That is because it hits at a lot of very deep wounds. It’s a massive point of shame, for basically anyone. It’s a direct challenge to a narcissists grandiosity. A giant hit on their self-identity and self-worth. It makes them feel worthless and might be the biggest basis for narcissistic collapse, besides maybe repeated abandonment.
A narcissist will not want to put themselves in this situation. That is why they are so obsessed with total control. A narcissist love bombs and mirrors for more reasons than to avoid rejection, such as to get their needs and wants met, but I think avoiding narcissistic injury might be at the heart of why a person with NPD is so smothering early on.
They need to build your dependency and infatuation with them, because they are ironically just as dependent on you to not notice any kinks in their armor, or find someone ‘better’ than them. It comes from a giant insecurity about themselves as a person too, and needing to externalize their means of impressing you and avoiding rejection from you. Using things such as gifts and sex, opposed to relying on who they are and the qualities they bring to the table.
It’s possible a narcissist doubles down when faced with an unclear or unsure rejection, but if we are talking a clear and sure rejection a narcissist uses a specific tool: reframing.
To everyone, including themselves. To the person that rejected them, gaslighting them into a place where the person with NPD is the one with the power.
So that could be pretending like they were never interested in the first place. Or accusing the person of being the narcissist themselves and deceiving them. Or that the person is being crazy or abusive, etc.
To others, likely a variation of that last point. They would reframe the rejection as them being the one that did the rejecting. They were deceived and led on and treated unjustly. The person is crazy and they don’t know why they even entertained them in the first place.
To themselves or to people that must not see them be rejected, they could get even more delusional with it. ‘The person rejected me because they realized I actually am too good for them. They know they don’t deserve me.’ Stuff like this.
The premise behind it all is deflecting the deep shame of the rejection, and preserving their grandiose false self to themselves and to others. Deluding themselves is probably the most important thing, as their fragile ego, identity and sense of self-worth is entirely at stake.
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Narcissist tend to deny their own flaws and wrongdoings. They also usually victimize themselves and portray you as the perpetrator. This may happen if you reject a narcissist. In fact, they may even spin it around to make it seem as if they rejected you.
The best way to identify a narcissist is that they consider themselves superior to anyone else. They want to be the core center of everything and everyone’s attention. They want to dominate every relationship/friendship and every discussion. Everything they do is right and perfect. They want to be wanted by everyone. They consider themselves special and above everyone else. They admire and idolize themselves.
For you to reject a narcissist signals to him or her that they are not wanted by you. That they are not special to you. That something is potentially wrong, flawed and imperfect with them. That you do not prioritize them. It will shake the whole foundation of their identity and person, and they will deny and manipulate it to the best of their ability.
And by manipulate I mean making you be the not-so-special-one. Making you be the imperfect one, the flawed one. The one who is not loved or wanted. The one who is not prioritized and the one who wronged them.
They will generally manipulate you and others into thinking that about yourself. The best way for you to deal with a narcissist is recognizing that he or she is a narcissist and not take everything they do and say personally.
In addition, you deal with a narcissist by letting people in your social circle (in particular if you got the same circle) know that he or she is a narcissist… and that they do not take everything what these narcissists say and do at immediate face value and too serious.
The way to deal with a narcissist is to acknowledge that they are a narcissist and deprive them of said power. You do not have to ignore them as a person and exclude/freeze them out. Just deprive them of the manipulative power and influence that narcissism comes with.
F*ck 'em.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-react-to-rejection?no_redirect=1
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How do you get a narcissist to do what you want them to do?
Praise them. Hang on their every word. Tell them how intelligent they are. How they do everything better than anyone else. There you have it.
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If you're forced to deal with a narcissist, and you can't get them out of your life for whatever reason, you have to punish them and reward them with the only thing that matters to them…
Supply.
Obviously, your life would be better if you could just go no contact, but I understand that there are reasons people can't. People that don't understand this have obviously never been in the position of having to feed your children or going homeless when a narcissistic spouse has taken control of your finances.
Even though you're going to feel like throwing up when you do it, you have to give them all the praise and attention they want when they do something they consider remarkable, like taking out the garbage once a month.
And you have to completely take away any reaction, which is their supply, if you want to negatively reinforce something.
You have to be careful though, because even though they have low emotional empathy, they have high cognitive empathy, so they have a remarkable ability to tell when they're being conned.
Yes, this is a pain in the ass, and I understand it sucks. That's why we all advise no contact if possible. This is no way to live.
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First, you need to dump the narcissist as this is the only thing that gets them to sit up and take notice. You then need to put your “narcissist hat” on, utilizing any and all techniques you deem appropriate. Such as….
Push/pull
Gaslighting
Triangulation (big one)
Future Faking (another big one)
You get the idea. Just keep yo-yoing the motherf*ckers.
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To manipulate someone, you have to be akin to a chess player.
If you play the game, and are able to be one step ahead of someone in his reasoning —even in a game like “rock, paper, scissors”— you will likely win.
He or her can be a narcissist, perfectionist or depressive, it does not matter if you are one step ahead.
The question is whether you are, or not, able to be superior to their reasoning.
Never forget that you are playing a game.
I don’t suggest attempting the game; recognize that you are in an endless cycle of life where all has been done in the past, all will be done again in the future, the uniqueness of our actions are illusory. Retire from the eternal cycle, avoid actions such as these and you will find peace and acceptation from the inside…maybe.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-get-a-narcissist-to-do-what-you-want-them-to-do
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They don't have a soul. So they need to get the soul of others.
The Narcissistic Harem: A Study in Pathological Resource Management
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izQz6lZ5YRg
@battlevain
1 year ago
The narcissist harem is yet another emotional weapon designed to make the narcissist seem very desirable, as the harem is always filled with hopeful suitors who are under their spell. The harem is also created to evoke jealousy in their significant others.
Jealousy is their weapon of choice and the harem consists of people fooled into believing that they are next in line for love. They are fed crumbs of romantic hope and are surrogate love interests kept on standby to do the bidding of the narcissist.
Everything about these characters, just like the narcissist themselves, is fake and superficial. Trust your gut and pay attention. The give away of these characters is that they never become your friend, they're simply remaining loyal only to the narcissist, as they secretly await the demise for your relatives which would signal their chance to be the one true love. They are all doomed. Get out and never look back.
It's very similar to what you see in cults.
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The evolving mythology of the “Manson girls”
The so-called Manson girls are pop culture fixtures. But we’re just starting to understand them.
by Constance Grady
Aug 8, 2019, 8:30 AM PDT
It was amazing the respect these girls had for Charlie. They just lived and breathed by him.
Once when we were working on the Christ story, he demonstrated the submission thing. He turned to Lynne and said, “Lynne, come here and kiss my feet”; and she got down on her knees and kissed his feet and sat down. And then he said, “Now I will kiss yours,” and he did. There was never any explanation or questioning. They just did it.
MORE:
https://www.vox.com/culture/2019/8/8/20757917/manson-girls-explained
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She told me "You don't have any Rights!"
@ronaldculley 3 weeks ago
Narcissists Deny Facts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIxwHXCw33Q
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If you're a narcissist, you're not a Christian.
5 Clues to Spot a
'Christian' Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_yVi6MX1Is
@helenwashington6212
17 hours ago
Amen. I found out that these wolves in sheep's clothing, religious narcissists love preaching the Gospel as long as the Gospel is not confronting and exposing anything
about them.
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Narcissists are experts at Scapegoating. It does a job on a person.
"Am I The Bad Guy?" Reacting to Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08JPoFLk-_U
@JohnDoe-gq3tm
4 years ago
I've become more self centered in a self preservation kind of way. But I don't consider this a bad thing. I rarely go out of my way to help anyone and am sick of others expecting me to agree with everything they say.
Or expecting me to fawn over their "helpful" suggestions that I didn't ask for in the first place. Hence why I rarely give suggestions anymore myself. I'm tired of people trying to change me. And I'm tired of being expected to kiss everyone's ass at all times. I don't want to lick other's wounds anymore. I don't want to be a smiling bobble head.
I no longer want to be "liked" for how good I make others feel. I want to be respected for who I am. I want friends who can have two way conversations. Who are curious about who I am instead of getting butt hurt because I "failed" at stroking their ego. Otherwise I'll just continue being a recluse. These one sided "friendships" are too exhausting.
@kylaren6337
4 years ago (edited)
Recognizing that you are picking up these traits is the first step. The more time I spent with a covert narcissist the more I noticed my anger, resentment, all increased and my reactions to these emotions became narcissistic. I even derived some pleasure in thinking of ways I could humiliate and embarrass them as they had done me. This seems to be the only thing they understand. Payback to correct their behavior.
As speaking with them about their behavior is the biggest waste of time. Because they’ll just repeat it after their shame cycle. The biggest problem is you’ll never be able to express your anger, emotions, in a healthy way, to a narcissist. Their reaction to you expressing yourself in a healthy way is not healthy.
So you’re holding the weight of all the anger and resentment because they can’t even see their behavior is the problem. Best thing to do is disengage with them and move on with whatever’s left of you so you go back to your true healthy self. Because while they wear a mask you’ll find yourself putting on a mask to defend yourself from them. It’s the worst.
@michelleescamilla695
4 years ago
The narcissistic cunningly circulates the blame & places it to the reaction of the behavior instead of their actual behavior that causes your reaction. Every. Single. Time. The key is to recognize it and not react if you don’t have to deal with them—go no contact. But if you have to react, point this pattern out immediately. And each time.
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"Gaslighting, blame shifting, projection, deflection, shame dumping, stonewalling, raging, the silent treatment, devaluation, discarding, and virtually every other behavior these personalities are notorious for, are all expressions of denial in one way or another."
Narcissists And Denial:
A Masterclass
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3U8D3rOZU4
@steadypace1262
10 months ago
Narcissists don't talk straight, they tell people what they think they want to hear and will say one thing and mean another just to confuse things. Living in denial suits the narcissist's compulsive need to tell one lie after another, it must feel good to someone who doesn't have a conscience or remorse.
@saturdayschild8535
2 weeks ago
I once told him the truth would set him free. His response was, “Are you threatening me?"
I knew then that there is no getting through his denial and lies, and stopped engaging him in any significant way. F*ck 'im.
@abdulc5726
10 months ago
"It doesn't matter, it changes nothing". They double down.
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"You don't have a relationship with the narcissist.
You have an arrangement."
Your Pain Is Not Real To Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHZjyeZ48X0
@completely_me75
2 years ago
The narcissist doesn't care about anything at the end of the day. They don't even truly love themselves. Your pain, feelings, emotions or concerns are just an annoyance to them because they can't even meet their own needs. It's best to just leave them alone once you realize what you're dealing with. Save yourself the headache.
@beth8275
1 year ago
They DO NOT CARE about you AT ALL. They can pretend they do but YOU KNOW they don’t. It’s difficult to truly accept that but if you continue to deny it, you’ll be trapped trying to get them to care.
@MarcSmith23
2 years ago
They’re both clueless about others feelings and experts at hurting your feelings on purpose.
@crystalwebster2005
2 years ago
I’ve been told many times when I’m in pain due to these people they accuse me of trying to make THEM feel bad.
@ianimal36
2 years ago
Once you feel like you're screaming into a vacuum, it's time to go. That person is getting off on your discomfort. You can see it, almost as a twinkle in their eyes. It's the only thing that lights them up. RUN!!!
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How do you defeat a narcissist and break them mentally and emotionally?
I see this question so often. It's really a mystery to me, why people don't get it.
They are already mentally and emotionally broken. That's why they have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
You can't break what's already broken.
Leave and let them face their own tragic life. That is punishment enough.
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Become the indestructible! Ha! Ha! Ha!
You cannot even imagine how a narcissist will feel when you survive all their evil games and hatred strategies.
It is like you are swimming. Someone pushes your head down so long that you think you are drowning and want to give up. Something inside you warns you that you cannot give up. You are made up of better stuff. And you try to come up floating once again. The narcissist being who he/she is just wants to have another go at pushing you down again.
But you come up again another time!
I just love it! The devil incarnate in my life must feel pretty frustrated any time he catches a glimpse of me.
The b*tch still survived!
Believe me, the more you show your mettle, the more your self confidence builds.
Hey I am not indestructible. It is only by the power of God that I survived. Let me openly admit this on here.
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The short answer is that you don’t really. They will go look elsewhere for supply - which they already are - but even more so if you’re not providing any.
But, you can cause narcissistic collapse temporarily for fun. But beware, it can get dangerous.
You stop taking the bait when they try to get you upset. You smirk or laugh at their tantrums. You become very satisfied with your life and excel at something they wanted to do well. You sing out loud for fun. You get healthy and get your body in shape. You become fully fulfilled without them. You become powerful emotionally. When they try to impress you with something they did it’s brushed off by you as ordinary.
This will cause them to push harder, try more. And it can turn violent. Go look at Robert Torbay’s past posts. He’s brilliant about this. But just be careful. You have to be fully ready for the fallout.
While doing all this, you need to be preparing your exit. There is no long term picture with a narcissist that ends well. They will f*ck with you until they die if you let them. Gotta go.
We can do hard things.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-defeat-a-narcissist-and-break-them-mentally-and-emotionally
:tello: "Or you can take your chances with dances....."
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It's like you have to thank them for their very presence and existence and be grateful they are with you. They think they are gods.
What Narcissists Want
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzw6fZD7qg0&t=929s
@AdamKraft-hq8pn
9 months ago (edited)
What you want narcissists can never give.
@SuperBlakes2
1 year ago
My experience is, that narcs do get over taken by a dark force. And the behaviour I have witnessed is evil. Maybe they can be civil one minute, then next minute their eyes go dark. And they look, sound and act like they are possessed by evil. Also I have been in a separate room from a narc, and I could literally feel their mood switch and the evil emanating from the room they are occupying. These people are evil. Praying to Jesus is the only way I have managed to stay safe against these cruel individuals.
@JohnSmith-wo7ns
1 year ago
Problem with narcissists, even if they aren't shouting at you or cheating, they are selfish and inconsiderate and never wrong. So you'll have arguments to which they'll never admit fault, they'll think you're bullying them so they look elsewhere thinking they'll find someone who will appreciate them, cos they're never wrong, remember???
@kendrickjobe2149
1 year ago
When Little Shaman said 8:22 "They hate you for the exact thing they need you to do, but they'll also hate you if you refuse to do it-- because they need you to do it." I felt that.
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:zombie:
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Overcoming a narc’s betrayal, accept that their actions mean nothing. In the end, we’re all alone, and nothing truly matters. Embrace the void, for it’s the only reality.
7 Keys For Overcoming A Narcissist's Betrayal
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8FYngYf-p0
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How can a narcissist get
their feelings hurt if they don't have real feelings?
Narcissists are easily hurt and when they feel disrespected they lash out. A narcissist is a damaged person who has many unmet needs. The pain they carry is unbearable, that is why they project their self hatred onto others. Narcissistic individuals are filled with emotional pain, so damaged that their lives cause terrible pain and hurt in everyone around them.
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Narcissists do have “feelings”….they are human.
Unfortunately, their feelings are mostly…if not entirely…SELF centered.
Ego-centric.
Their feelings are distorted by their hyper-defensive, shame-based perspective.
And, as a result, they can not regulate EMOTIONS….they can not…and will not…connect on any EMOTIONAL level with others….that would require EMPATHY.
And empathy is kind of like the opposite of ego-centric.
Narcissists (imo) are like ppl who exist in their own little hyper-sensitive bubble, where they contemplate their own navels 24/7.
They expect…and assume…that everyone else is on-board with this and will admire and applaud N for being that way.
Narcissists are extremely SHALLOW, very rigid and selfish in their routines, and unable…or unwilling…to extend much energy or interest in anything or anyone that does not rotate and gravitate around N’s self-serving orbit.
N’s “feelings” are boxed in with that same bubble wrap world, tightly wound, and can snap at any time, especially when someone on the “outside” threatens N’s bubble-wrap existence.
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Who told you they have no real feelings?
One of the criteria of NPD is hypersensitivity to criticism, real or perceived.
They have a whole lot of feelings, for themselves. What they lack is empathy. Meaning, they struggle to relate/unmoved by and indifferent towards other people's feelings, unless it relates directly to them.
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The one I knew had feelings but he had a “mask” on just about all the time. I know they take criticism against themselves harshly. I think they're probably the most critical of themselves. If you call them out on something they did, they will either get defensive and try to deflect it on you or they will deny ever saying it (gas lighting). So I would say yes they do have real feelings but those feelings only really revolve around themselves.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-a-narcissist-get-their-feelings-hurt-if-they-dont-have-real-feelings
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:tello: "If you watch this, most of it will be Tello Talk and the Invasion of the Narc-Snatches".
TALK SH!T SUNDAY NEVER
KNOW WHO WILL POP UP
https://www.youtube.com/live/MpKqjzB3Lzo
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It's such a terrible place to be, that feeling of being stuck! These people will not change but we can! We can "unstuck" ourselves!
Feeling Stuck in Relationships With Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrZjAmRR1tM
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Why do some people say that the victims of narcissistic abuse are also partially responsible?
I am not excusing my ex's horrible and abusive behaviour but I think I was certainly partially responsible in my relationship – not for the abuse itself, which is unforgivable, but for putting up with it for so long. It takes two to tango, even if one of the dancers is a narcissist. I did not always behave in a way I was proud of either, even if my behaviour was in reaction to him or his provocations.
Narcissistic abuse and manipulation is very insidious and hard to spot; the damage is done slowly and over time, so much so, I didn’t even really recognise what was happening to me. It took several friends to point it out and hear them refer to ‘emotional abuse’ more than once.
I adored my narc-ex though and didn’t really acknowledge what was going on. I knew he was not treating me very well, I’ve got a diary full of the evidence, but I didn’t really correlate that poor treatment with the term abuse. It took a week-long silent treatment and a friend telling me to read up on narcissism before I really started to make the connection and wake up.
I am not to blame but I am perhaps partially responsible. I did not have any boundaries whatsoever, I didn’t even know what they were. I am a good person and I expect other people to be good to me too, especially in a romantic relationship. It does not work that way of course.
I have always had problems with self-esteem and confidence (I think due to a poor relationship with my narcy mother) and so I have put up with far more than I should for far longer than I should in romantic relationships. My mother told me when I was a teenager that no man would want me for me…and that is a deep-seated feeling I have found hard to overcome.
Many a stronger woman would have walked away within weeks of my relationship starting but I was hooked even though I spotted red flags (not that I knew about red flags at the time but I did have major concerns). I believed in love and I fell for the love-bombing. It had a powerful effect on me and I had no idea how vulnerable I was at the time; I also felt (and still feel if I am honest) that although I wanted to be loved, I didn’t really deserve to be treated any better. I was always consumed with guilt to admit my own feelings, desires and needs.
I wanted to help ‘fix’ my narc. He was confident, handsome and dominating and I liked that, he had a mysterious dark side, but he was also very vulnerable and soft and, supposedly, hurt badly by his ex. I wanted to help him, heal him, fix him, be there for him, make him better, build a future with him. He told me what we had was special and I believed him. It never even occurred to me to question his stories or some of the things he said (well, maybe I questioned it vaguely but I did not act on it).
People who blame those who are experiencing abuse have perhaps never been in that situation themselves, I don’t know – but what I do know is that the ‘trauma bond’ is a strong one and cognitive dissonance is also so hard to overcome (if you even recognise it).
It is hard to see through the fog and once you do, it is very hard to leave. Many people haven’t got any self-esteem left to find the strength to go, some are tied financially or through children to their narc and, actually, many of us are still in love with our narcs and don’t want to leave. I left because I knew my mental health and future depended on it.
I do feel responsible for allowing myself to treated badly for two years because I let him treat me that way and because I stayed for too long. I should have left very early on. I didn’t spot all of the abuse at the time (probably still haven’t sussed it all out) but I did know, definitely knew, he was not treating me very well.
Am I to blame for the abuse? No, absolutely not. He is. Is it my fault? No. Am I partially responsible? Yes, I think I am. I did not stand up to him but more importantly, I did not stand up for myself. I never put myself first. I am not taking anything away from empaths and survivors (or blaming us), we have been to hell and back, but we have the responsibility to look within and learn about ourselves.
However devious a narc can be, however subtle, we allowed ourselves to be treated poorly. I guess that is why we were tested and targeted by the narc in the first place. I suspect I am going to get some down votes for this answer but I am admitting my part. Rhianna Rockford answered on here that she sees herself as the enabler, well, that's how I feel too. Yes, I was entrapped with the future faking and false promises but I stayed, I put up with it.
I am working on my boundaries. I don’t really know how to overcome my self-esteem issues, which plague me, and I don’t know how to change the type of men I am attracted to – but I am doing my best to learn about myself, educate myself on narcissism and work on my new boundaries. I take responsibility for myself; I want to be able to walk away when I spot those red flags in the future.
Live and learn…and build boundaries!
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I won't be loved for this answer.
I speak of myself, why I am partially responsible and why I am fighting those demons every day.
After the first time he abused me, I put it down to the booze. I went back.
After the second time he abused me, I figured he was having a bad day. I went back.
After the third time he abused me, it's only because he loves me. I went back.
After the fourth time he abused me, it had been a tough week. I went back.
After the six hundred and sixty sixth time he abused me, it was my fault, I'd hurt him, I went back.
I was never tied physically to him. I was trauma bonded by about the tenth time maybe, but I was the person who allowed him to do it, I was the enabler so to speak. Because in not leaving, I was essentially permitting it and forgiving it. Each time.
It doesn't give him the right to do it, but in each case, I went back. Therefore I wasn't the victim, I was there through choice.
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Uneducated and uninformed? Naive and judgemental? Disordered themselves?
When we reflect back to the beginning of the relationship, many of us can now recognize the red flags we may have overlooked. This is a great tool, this is insight. With insight we can begin to make changes in our daily interactions with others. By making changes we can, hopefully, avoid getting tangled up with con-artists and abusers ever again.
These precautions are protective measures against predators. Predators prey. With insight we are less likely to become prey. Without insight, we are vulnerable to predators but not responsible for THEIR abusive behaviour.
I am in no way responsible for the ABUSE I experienced at the hands of the man I thought loved me. I have educated myself and made changes in the areas I felt necessary, in order to keep horrible people out of my life and away from myself and my children. He is responsible for how he treated me, I am responsible for never letting that happen ever again.
Not ever again.
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The only people I have met who blame the victim, have a lot of traits themselves. I have learned a lot about the more sadistic side of narcissism, and it’s related disorders- psychopaths, and sociopaths, because of victim blaming.
I think victim blaming can be one of the most efficient ways of weeding out who you don’t want in your life. It can also be very helpful to examine the damaging “friends” that may have been drawn into your life, most likely because you were “wounded” to them, and therefore easy prey. Watch out for any that you met during the abuse, you may be prey to them.
Someone who I met in crisis, flies nearly every red flag of a sociopath. It takes a while to spot it, (due to their “I’m so spiritual” mask) but one of the easiest ways to detect them, is to make note of their pleasure (look for smirks) in bringing up your abuse, and their desire to ever so slightly reference how it probably wasn’t so bad, or how they would like to stay in touch with the abuser…these things, and many more, can be ways for them to sadistically torture you in a way that would be under most people’s radar. They may be trying to trigger you, so to feed off your pain.
I feel that some narcs, sociopaths, and psychopaths swoop in “for the kill,” so to speak. It is a thrill that they get. I highly recommend staying in group activities, and avoiding being alone with anyone who sides with the abuser.
This person will have a very hard time abusing you in front of other witnesses, as their own “good guy/girl” cover could be blown. Isolation is the tool of the abuser. Avoid it until you fully understand the abuse, and the warning signs of predators, particularly high functioning ones.
Group social activities were a great way for me to learn some fun thing to do, while also honing my detection skills. Abusive people love to blame the victims for the abuse. It is like giving themselves a pat on the back.
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Most people would say none. But I’m a believer that we can invite certain energy into our lives and never really walk away from it completely until we’ve learned what we needed to learn. I actually learned a lot about human nature from my ex and his family.
I lost a lot, and it was not really worth it, but I did choose to stay for way too long. I had to learn to trust myself, because the same patterns were repeating. And the reason these patterns were repetitive is because I was choosing them. It wasn’t even about my ex. It goes way back into childhood. Really fascinating and sad stuff to unpack, and not everyone has the courage or the strength to do it.
If you’ve been the favored punching bag of one of these monsters, move on as soon as you can and do the inner work you need to in order to avoid attracting another one. They have a sort of a sensor and are able to sniff out the weak and vulnerable. Also, try to remember that narcy-narc didn’t choose to be a monster.
Don’t put up with his crap, but remember that he was a little boy (or girl) who once was hurt so bad and neglected so completely that he had to make a false self. Try to imagine him as a scared, crying little boy and in your imagination pick that little boy up and kiss his tears away. Tell him how much you love him. Tell him you forgive him. Then set him down and walk away.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-some-people-say-that-the-victims-of-narcissistic-abuse-are-also-partially-responsible
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:t2:
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Narcissists want complete obedience. You are not allowed to be an individual in a narcissistic relationship.
A Narcissist's Unwillingness To Hear Your "No"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLzn0u4L_Cs
@NikkiGRocks4Ever
5 months ago
It is empowering to say no to a narcissist. He had a rage fit and a temper tantrum. He was testing my boundaries. I stood firm. He called me toxic because I was not mindlessly doing exactly what he wanted. I walked away from him. I feel free.
@markjayw666
1 year ago
Spoiled little children in grown up bodies.
@Andrew-eo5bv
1 year ago
Especially when you say no to their abuse.
@notaclue822
1 year ago
They will go to such lengths...but THEY can say no when they want.
@jaclynmarie5747
1 year ago
I’ve noticed in life that you can get along with ppl who have different interests but not different morals.
@anjahoeck9428
8 months ago
Narcissists are the monsters of humanity.
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Why do narcissistic people never accept blame?
Narcissists can't accept blame because when they were very young a parent likely made them feel such immense shame or fear about being wrong or imperfect that they broke and built an entire fantasy world around themselves as a protective measure and in this fantasy reality of theirs they're never actually wrong.
And the best way to ensure that they are never to blame for failure is to couple up, set their partner up for constant failure or just twist reality so the other person is always to blame. They select highly empathetic people who likely also have a history of childhood abuse and therefore lack proper boundaries, lack self esteem and cannot see clear red flags easily.
The narcissist cannot change, but their partner can and will likely have to in order to leave the relationship.
But not everyone who cannot accept blame is an actual narcissist. Most people with this feature simply have maladaptive defense mechanisms centered around failure.
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Narcissists feel they are superior to you; it's no longer their responsibility to do anything in a relationship. Narcissists never take blame for what they do. If narcissists have to take the blame, that means they have to accept the fact that they behave badly in relationships and need to take responsibility to fix relationships.
Narcissists suffer from shame; they don't want to look flawed and be shamed in relationships. Narcissists will blame you, people, or circumstances to avoid accountability and responsibility. For narcissists, admitting the mistake is surrendering; their egos won't allow them to admit it, even if they have done anything wrong.
Narcissists are emotionally like kids who have never learned to take accountability or blame. Narcissists expect people around them to learn to fix things to keep relations going.
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Narcissists do not accept blame because of the fear of being wrong, because it will mean in their mind that they will be shamed, humiliated, and/or punished, and it’s probably a part of their trauma.
They might have experienced and witnessed first hand what happens to those who are wrong, they are scorned, beaten, humiliated, and whatever else that's cruel, and if they were young enough, they will think the entire world is like this, and that the world will jump on them, perhaps even kill them, if they were wrong or showed weakness of any kind. They just want to survive in this world, so they might become as cruel as others have been to them, and in their mind it's a form of defense, a form of protection.
They don't want to be in a weak, inferior, low status position, because they can be stepped on and taken advantage of. They don't want to apologize, take blame, or beg for forgiveness, because that means they are being weak and bowing down to someone else.
They want to be at the top of the hierarchy, so they refuse to show any type of weakness that could interfere with that position, that would allow others to gain an advantage and go above them.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissistic-people-never-accept-blame
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Why can’t you have a logical sound conversation with a narcissist?
Because that is their way of being.
It’s precisely, exactly how they operate, in order to obtain their goal of fuel, superiority and control.
If they came with an instruction book, or if they were an ad on TV, the fine print would say….
WARNING!
Repeated and extended exposure to the narcissist is at your own risk.
Excessive and prolonged use of narcissistic interactions has been shown to cause confusion, trauma-bonding, PTSD, and, in some cases, even brainwashing. You may find Narcissists are habit forming. In lab rats, they have been known to cause panic attacks, heart attacks and cancer.
Do not expose the narcissist to extreme emotional outbursts, or you will likely be punished (by them). They are known to be easily aroused into anger, jealousy, rage and attacks of violence.
Check with a medical professional before engaging with a narcissist, to see if they are right for you. It’s always a good idea to have a physical assessment by a medical professional, prior to engaging with the Narc. Always follow your doctor’s orders.
Side effects include, and are not limited to:
Feeling crazy. Depression. Isolation. Loss of finances, your things, jobs, friends, anything of value. You may no longer enjoy things or people that you used to enjoy. Wondering if your friends still like you. Questioning why the Narcissist said what he said, and what you should have said or done differently. Ruminating… Yes, for hours, days and weeks, about the same thing, over and over.
Restlessness. Insomnia. Weight gain. Dementia, or believing you have it. Insanity. Trauma-bonding. PTSD. Change in personality. Guilt. Shame. Remorse. Being fatally flawed. Being wrong, oh-so-totally-wrong. Feeling that you’re a bad person.
Lack of ability to win an argument. Lack of logic, so they say. Over-thinking. Over-working. Feeling like a slave to the Narcissist. Feeling different than you used to be. Feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore. Feeling like no one likes you. Feeling like you should try harder. Feeling like it’s your fault. Everything.
Weight loss. Ill health. Overall feelings of lethargy. Lack of motivation. Bouts of unending crying…. over nothing. Hostility. Anger. Emotional over-reactions. Meltdowns. No interest in life.
Symptoms similar to bipolar where you’re excited and hyperactive one minute, and then depressed, the next. Rapid and major mood swings. Sleeping too much. Not sleeping enough. Nervous, anxiety. Heart palpitations. High blood pressure.
Feelings of worthlessness. Unending and unrealistic optimism because tomorrow is a new day. Living in your head. Inability to love like you used to. Feelings of inferiority.
Other symptoms which were less reported in studies include: Death.
Take the narcissist into your life only with the approval of your medical professional and seek out their advice if you experience any of the above symptoms. Having a narcissist in your life has been known to be habit-forming. If you find you cannot cope in daily life, we recommend you discontinue seeking out the narcissist, and seek medical advice.
Only you can know if the narcissist is right for you! Most people experience joy and happiness and life like no other! Ask your doctor to prescribe you a Narcissist, today, so your life can begin anew!
(I would say I’m joking and have a good laugh if this wasn’t all SO TRUE!!)
https://www.quora.com/What-do-you-think-of-this-conversation-with-a-narcissist-Obviously-I-never-got-a-reply-to-my-questions-that-are-legit-honest-and-fair
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Why can’t a narcissist have deep conversations?
Because they are empty.
They have nothing to draw from within themselves to support their end. They can mirror, memorize things they’ve read or heard, or monologue from that reserved pool of information, but for the most part cannot spontaneously converse because they cannot go deep within themselves to share their own thoughts, feelings, opinions, experiences and respond to another human as a human with similar behaviors and ideas.
They are stifled and cannot seem to share freely and openly because they fear they will give information about themselves that will expose their vulnerability or be asked a question they cannot or will not answer for the same reason.
This is my experience after being with a narcissist for over 12 years. We never had a real conversation and I was starved for communication ( among other adult needs and desires ) Being with him was like Groundhog Day or Fifty First Dates… everyday he began as an empty slate and brought no learning or experience from one day to the next - always a “self-erasing” blank slate.
He claimed he was “afraid” but never could say why or explain what he feared, and if I became frustrated in an attempt to communicate with him, he would accuse me (projection?) of my inadequacy to communicate “properly” and then he would shut down and stonewall. A vicious cycle.
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Narcissists often have difficulty engaging in deep conversations for several reasons, primarily due to the nature of narcissistic personality traits and tendencies. Here are some reasons why a narcissist may struggle with engaging in deep conversations:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists typically lack empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Deep conversations often require empathy to truly connect with the other person's emotions and perspectives. Without empathy, a narcissist may struggle to engage meaningfully in conversations that require emotional depth.
Self-Centeredness: Narcissists tend to be highly self-centered and focused on themselves. They may steer conversations back to themselves, their achievements, or their interests, rather than actively listening and engaging with the other person's thoughts and feelings. This can make it challenging to have a balanced and mutually enriching deep conversation.
Shallow Relationships: Narcissists often prioritize surface-level interactions that serve to boost their ego or reinforce their self-image. They may struggle with forming and maintaining deep, meaningful relationships based on trust, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy, which are essential for engaging in deep conversations.
Manipulative Tendencies: Narcissists may use conversations as a means to manipulate or control others, rather than as a genuine opportunity for connection and understanding. They may steer conversations in ways that serve their own agenda or seek to dominate the interaction rather than engage in a reciprocal exchange of ideas and emotions.
Fear of Vulnerability: Deep conversations often require a certain level of vulnerability and openness, as individuals share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences on a deeper level. Narcissists may have a fear of being vulnerable or exposed, as it challenges their carefully constructed self-image of perfection and invulnerability.
Difficulty with Introspection: Narcissists may struggle with introspection and self-reflection, which are essential components of engaging in deep conversations. They may avoid examining their own emotions, motivations, or behaviors in a meaningful way, making it challenging to participate in conversations that delve beneath the surface level.
Overall, the core traits of narcissism, such as lack of empathy, self-centeredness, and difficulty with vulnerability, can hinder a narcissist's ability to engage in deep conversations that require emotional depth, mutual understanding, and genuine connection.
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They are fake people. They know a little about a lot. That is how they fool people into thinking that they are smart. Mine did that to me. I thought he knew so much! I was impressed! Imagine it took me years to figure out that he was a fraud…by then I was married with children and had a business with him.
They are great at manipulation. When I finally would confront him about anything, the rage would happen. I learned to run from the rage. He isolated us so he would not be found out as a fraud. They are all frauds. That is why they can NEVER have deep conversations…
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To my understanding they fear intimacy.
Or it could be that they are self absorbed coupled together with a lack of empathy..
I have many narcs around me. And one thing you will never get from them is basic dialogue. You will find yourself becoming physically sick and irritable due to not being able to have basic dialogue…..
They withdraw. They ignore. They disappear or walk out in the middle of conversation. They will cut you off and change the subject.
You exist for them only. So they like to keep you around when they need you but you should never seek to be validated or listened to or understood by them because they don't have empathy and so they are unable to connect.
It gets frustrating to the point in which you can almost beg them to just have dialogue. And they will sit and listen to you for a bit just to shut you up. They feel that they are doing you a favor if they pretend to listen to you for a bit. But you will notice that even when they are spending time with you because you have asked them to, you will walk away still feeling unfulfilled because they do not have the ability to connect and validate. They are too self absorbed and again they have no empathy.
So, F*ck it....Leave them.
And go hang out…Start going to events and activities and seek out validation and basic dialogue any which way you can. Because even scraps can make you walk away feeling better.
Leave them. Because if you don't, they will tear you down and strip your identity away and leave you sick to the point in which you feel you are dying.
One mistake you do not want to make is the one I made.
I chased for 22 years trying to have an intimate relationship with a vulnerable narc. It will never happen. What will happen is that they'll mirror whatever they feel you are looking for and even that does not soothe the inner issues we have which is the need to connect.
They will withdraw and you will chase. They will future fake and you will wait your whole life.
Don't do it.
Join social gatherings. There are many people out there who have the ability to connect and empathize.
Believe me, you have a better chance at having a relationship with a bug. You will get more validation from a grocery store clerk than you ever will from a narc.
Since they don't have empathy, what they will do to keep you around is run errands or buy things every now and then for you. But none of those things are fulfilling. What you need is true friendship and true emotional connection.
https://www.quora.com/Why-can-t-a-narcissist-have-deep-conversations
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What happens when you tell a narcissist that you think they are narcissist?
I sent my ex narc an article from Quora summarizing what a narc is and said: "THIS IS YOU!"
He told me he hates me, told me never to send him any articles like that again, and hasn’t talked to me since! I wish I did that 15 years ago! My life would have been so much more peaceful!
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Story of my life. Constant put downs and the anger that comes with it is so unbearable. To find out my husband is the true definition of a narcissist, 14 years later, is even harder. I lost myself in this process. I lost the confidence. And all I do is try to help someone who doesn’t think they need help.
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A narcissistic is self absorbed, self righteous, selfish in every way. In addition, condescendingly manipulative violation with a smile. They will praise rage disengage. This is the ideal pattern. Once you confront a narcissistic about who he/she is….they will no longer engage in this game….they are caught, busted, found out….you’ve discharged, disengaged and discarded the narcissistic before they did. They will be upset, of course but won’t show it. You won!!! Game Over!!!
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-tell-a-narcissist-that-you-think-they-are-narcissist
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Why Do Narcissists Act
Like Victims and Blame Others
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f0jwN1ahjs
@carolovesteven
11 hours ago
I don’t even bother. Let them smear and lie. Those who are worthwhile will question the validity. Anyone believing one side of the story without hearing the other side doesn’t really care about the truth. They’ve already chosen to believe the narcissist. Let them go. They’re not people you need in your life. Thank you.
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:tello: "If you watch this, most of it will be Tello Talk and the Invasion of the Narc-Snatches".
TALK SH!T SUNDAY NEVER
KNOW WHO WILL POP UP
https://www.youtube.com/live/MpKqjzB3Lzo
NEW LINK!
https://www.youtube.com/live/-TxtHZQTxIM?lc=UgwUk0KuKITF4p5esJR4AaABAg.A5Kjzx5D5BuA5KlsRWtKoy
@ronaldculley
2 hours ago
The tech FAILED immensely. And it shows.... One day....we may be able to get it right.
@UNSOLVEDCRIME24
2 hours ago
I still enjoyed the show it was fun.
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How do you unmask a narcissist?
Never waste your precious time and energy on unmasking narcissists, for their image and reputation are everything; they can go to any extent to teach you a lesson.
Narcissists are extremely cowardly and very vengeful. Think twice before taking the risk of unmasking them. The best thing you have to do is leave narcissists to heal yourself. People are smart enough to know who they are. The way you have figured out the reality of narcissists, the same way people too will figure out the truth of narcissists, if not now, then possibly in the future.
Narcissists should be unmasked legally when you are filing for divorce, in a property battle, or when they become a big problem in your professional life. Don't waste your time and energy on such people.
After being unmasked, either narcissists will just vanish or will
wait for the right time to take revenge.
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Narcissists always unmask themselves eventually. Have no fear. Karma is always waiting to have the final word…
Only thing you need do to further unmask them is actually quite simple. Do nothing.
Go no contact, if at all possible. Otherwise, go grey rock - do little. Heal yourself.
Call out their crock of BS, if necessary.
Stick to the truth.... which they hate!
Remove yourself from their game. Be fair, firm, and principled. Don't get sucked back in. No play, don't pay.
Narcs are selfishly short term. In what they say, do, and take. Constant cravings, never satisfied..
Your N-EX was never your friend. Nor as smart as they believe themselves to be.
Most everything they say or do is a lie, untruth, or else some form of misrepresentation.
Nothing ever really stacks up. Narcs contradict themselves quite repetitively. Which always catches up with them, eventually.
Time exposes and surfaces all things. Truth bubbles up, and breaks out.
The shallow, highly toxic narc lake starts emitting some really foul smells. Don't be near the stench of Narc collapse.
Hopefully, you will have left them already.
Likely, some other poor sucker got caught in the endgame. Not your problem. Age withers them. Makes them bitterly nasty.
All their fantastical dreams, endless supplies of free money, dirty sex, insane fun times and high status came to….. nothing much at all.
If it helps you heal faster, what really damages them more is seeing you back to being the person they once so coveted.
Just a better, stronger, tougher version…Standing on a moral high ground.
By doing nothing, except recovering yourself, they will rage in furious despair. Might even pump prime a final meltdown. Not your problem
Karmic revenge. A dish best served cold… from a safe distance. By someone/something else, not you.
Break all ties. Go no contact. Let them unmask themselves. Their dark force will implode inwards on itself.
Please remember, nothing you did was really that wrong. You just made some poor choices is all.
Accept this. Learn from your mistakes. Enrich yourself.
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Most generally, the mask comes off a narcissist or aggressor when there's no more need to keep it. Once they think they have you where they have always wanted you, manipulators have no more need for pretense.
But in my opinion or in my case please please please Do Not even Try to make them do anything. In other words even at the beginning of the relationship you begin to see the Red flags, Signs, rocket propellers, your natural instinct kicks in, you better walk the other way. Trust Me! You will save yourself the most agonizing, tortures, excruciating, painful belittling experience of a lifetime. In other words, save your soul.
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Tell them the word “No”. Their mask will fall pretty fast.
Give them a gift that's meant as an insult. Like if they think they’re the greatest gardener, a book titled “How to be good at gardening”.
Ask them a simple question like, “How are you?” and after they answer just reply with a “mmmm” Be calm and disinterested. They can’t stand being irrelevant even though they do it to you all the time. Let out a natural yawn while they talk about how great they are and a good stretch in the air too for bonus points.
Praise someone else when in their presence. Speak very highly about this person's talent and make sure it’s something that Narcy thinks they excel at. Trust me, they’ll find it incredibly difficult to keep their mask on.
Critique them. Like when they put down something you say reply with, “It’s ok Narcy, this is a difficult topic to understand” or tell them their soup is ALMOST as good how your grandma use to make it.
Tell them they look good….pause…today.
Ask them to repeat themselves. Say “I don’t understand you, what?”
Interrupt them.
You can look them straight in the eye and say “Narcy, you’re bat sh!t crazy and everyone knows it”.
Then, leave and never look back or contact again. Don’t be fooled thinking that everyone around Narcy are unaware of the fraud that they are. Anyone who’s around Narcy long enough knows they’re a nut job, just not to the same degree as you.
They are either the minions or ones who can’t be bothered and just believe it’s easier to keep the peace and accommodate Narcy's temper tantrums than confront them. The comment above will simmer and fester away at Narcy's dark soul because they think they’re so grande and nobody sees through them.
All of this was mainly meant to be funny. It’s ridiculous really. This is how ridiculous a relationship is with them. I don’t really recommend doing all this. As much as well all have wanted them to pay for the pain they’ve caused us, remember, it’s what they want. They want you to engage.
I recommend removing yourself from their grip and going no contact. Any energy you give them is fuel. Living your best life IS what rips the mask from them. Staying no contact starves them and most importantly saves you.
https://spiesliesnpdabusehealing.quora.com/How-to-unmask-a-narcissist
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"Deny what the narcissist seeks, and what he/she seeks
is the pleasure of your destruction".
Is the narcissist really trying to destroy you?
The Narcissist's True Motivation
It's Not What You Think
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx9uHrCoEMI
@melissa_anastasia
5 years ago
They always need to win. Therefore they can never support you. There is no cooperation. Is this the type of "partner" you want?
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What does it do to a
narcissist if you laugh at them?
:lmao:
:lol: Ha ha ha.... :rofl:
—That is the Ultimate Insult to a Narcissist. Their script is no longer working, and it feels like a slap in the face. At first, they will look confused…— Then, they will try to attack you with their “Sharp Horns“.
But, show them NO Fear. Stand your ground, let the Bull know you are ready to grab it by The Horns. You are letting them know you will No Longer tolerate their behavior.
BUT…
Do this once you are already. Have one foot out, otherwise there's HELL to pay—
WARNING: Do Not Mess with a Raging Bull, you might get Horned.
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Prepare yourself for a hate strategy that may perhaps last for years. Evil people are dangerous and therefore please do not play with fire.
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They. Get. Mad.
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When you laugh at a narcissist, it's a form of sarcasm. It's a way to put them in their place and to let them know that you're not impressed by them. It also makes you feel better because it gives you a sense of power over the narcissist. They may be immune to your words, but they can't ignore the laughter.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-do-to-a-narcissist-if-you-laugh-at-them
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How could a narcissist do what he did to me and be okay with himself? Why does he view me negatively when he lied and used me?
That is exactly what a narcissist does.
They have no qualms about trashing you, telling lies about you to others.
Use you. Oh boy! That is all a narc in you - To. Use. You. And a narc feels absolutely zero guilt or remorse about it. They feel entitled to lie about you, use you, cheat on you. Don’t you realize you made your narc do these things?
It’s time to educate yourself about narcissists. Narcs are so toxic you will never ever understand how they think. A narc’s thinking is totally bizarre and you will never understand it. Believe me I’ve tried.
They are incapable of normal healthy thought patterns. So a narcissist feels entitled to lie, cheat, use you because THEY have decided you deserve everything they do to you.
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I’m so sorry that you’re at this particular point in the healing process because it’s the hardest.
The narcissist is okay with himself because as far as he’s concerned, he’s done nothing wrong. Narcissists never take responsibility or accountability for their actions; it’s always your fault.
The narcissist doesn’t view you negatively at all. He views himself negatively and is projecting that onto you. He’s saying "Here, I don’t want this negativity, you take it instead".
Let the narcissist do his narcissistic thing with someone else. Rest assured that he’s going to treat everyone the exact same way that he treated you. He’s taught you a very important lesson. Never give your heart to anyone who doesn’t respect it.
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Narcissists do not think and feel the way other people do. They act without much regard for other people’s feelings and are very self-centered. They will twist the truth and be judgmental in order to make themselves feel better or get attention because they are spreading a juicy story (at others’ expense). Their world view is based upon themselves doing no wrong and making their own rules.
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Crimes against humanity start by dehumanizing a group of people.
Once you are no longer seen as human, heinous acts can be committed against you.
Every single malignant (non-self aware) narcissist I’ve met believed that they were the victim.
Let’s look at the hallmarks of narcissistic behavior:
Either seeing others as 100% good or 100% evil: If they see you as 100% evil, you have been dehumanized. Everything they do to you is because you are “evil” or at least an anatomical conundrum who is asking for it.
If they do recognize that they are doing something illegal, they will justify it - use your kid against you in court? Well, that’s justification for that time you “humiliated” them.
Lack of affective (emotional) empathy plus entitlement: This means that their feelings matter and yours don’t. They are special. You are not. Some have pretty good cognitive empathy. They know what you are feeling, they just don’t care.
Even if they do recognize that they are in the wrong (they are human after all), don’t expect an apology unless it’s a half ass non-apology said to keep from losing you as the supply. A gray area non-apology will allow them to backtrack if needed to save face later.
They are living in a state of reaction to certain triggers. Many of their actions are subconscious. That’s why it’s called a personality disorder. They are reenacting unhelpful (toxic) patterns without having a clue they are doing it.
They really do believe that they are the victim. They may have no or low empathy towards others but they surely feel it for themselves.
https://www.quora.com/How-could-a-narcissist-do-what-he-did-to-me-and-be-okay-with-himself-Why-does-he-view-me-negatively-when-he-lied-and-used-me
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What is a supply to a narcissist?
Narcissists wish to feel great all of the time, but as they never do anything that warrants this feeling, they resort to being greater than other people.
This fake and phony superiority is highly corrosive, as it is false, it is a lie. It necessitates tearing others down to make them feel worse than they are, on order to make the narcissist seem better than they are by comparison.
“Narcissistic supply” is a fancy term for abuse.
In order to abuse the narcissist back, improve yourself. Become superior to them in all ways possible, by being a better version of yourself each day. Don't worry about having a tantrum around them, your disgraceful and stupid behaviour merely makes them look better than you. Take your attention away from them, and use it to practice things, clean, plant, make.
You are reversing the flow of abuse, as the narcissist starts to look terrible in comparison to this new, more industrious version of you.
Abusing narcissists is your supply.
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I mean think about it. The Narcissist lies to you. You tell them they are a liar and manipulative. Is that good supply? Does the narcissist want to hear they are a liar and are manipulative? No. They want to be adored. Admired. Coveted.
Narcissist lies to you. You believe said lie, or you maybe know it’s a lie but choose to ignore it. Even worse, you delude yourself into believing the lie. You’re good supply. You admire the narcissist, you stroke their ego and you believe the facade.
A good supply is a doormat. Someone willing to be used and abused or is oblivious to it.
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It is feeding their ego.
That can take many forms- it can mean flattering them, laughing loudly at a lame joke, complimenting them, agreeing with them when they talk nonsense.
It can mean flirting with them or sleeping with them.
And it can mean staying in a relationship with them, long after the niceness of lovebombing (which was phony) has stopped, and you are being devalued and demeaned. It can mean looking after them, and doing all the housework (narcissists don’t help out with menial) and doing the lion’s share of all the childrearing- while letting them go out to play, which is often narcissist code for cheating on you with other supplies.
All you will ever be to a narcissist is supply- probably temporary and fleeting- no matter how much they assured you this time it would be different. They never felt this way before. You are The One, this is special. They said the same things to your predecessor, and will say them to your successor, and you will be devastated, because you believed the lies.
Please, do one thing- read about narcissism, to see how it all works, and what is going to happen to this glorious relationship.
The best summary I have found is a short, clear, book- "Is there A narcissist In Your Life?" Amanda Clymont, Amazon.
Read it, and weep for the time you have already wasted- just, please, don’t waste too much more.
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Someone who is always pumping them up, telling them how great they are , especially in front of others. Someone who always does what they want them too. On the flip side someone who is so controlled they will stay despite being subjected to horrible abuses and still try to win the narcissists approval.
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In the context of narcissism, a "supply" refers to the attention, admiration, adulation, or other forms of emotional sustenance that a narcissist seeks from others to boost their self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
Narcissists have an excessive need for validation and admiration from others to maintain their fragile self-image. They often rely on external sources of validation to feel good about themselves because they lack a stable and positive self-image.
Narcissists may seek supply in various ways, such as through praise, compliments, attention, loyalty, and even fear or intimidation. They can be charming, charismatic, and manipulative in their interactions with others to elicit the desired responses that feed their ego. Narcissists often have a sense of entitlement and believe that others exist to serve their needs and fulfill their desires.
The term "narcissistic supply" is used to describe the attention and admiration that narcissists crave and actively seek out to bolster their self-esteem. Without a steady supply of validation and admiration, narcissists may experience feelings of emptiness, worthlessness, and inadequacy, leading them to become increasingly manipulative, controlling, or even aggressive in their interactions with others.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-supply-to-a-narcissist
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"If they are unhappy, they will make others suffer for it".
Narcissists Are Controlling
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-JfMap6KkI
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"They believe if they don't trick, lie, manipulate and control people, they don't get what they need."
Narcissists and Manipulation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmPJHyz2ijQ
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How does a narcissist secretly
manipulate their partner?
It starts from the very beginning.
Even if for half a second they feel as if they are actually being sincere, because they can never be, it's a setup from day one.
They make you think that you are the sun and the moon and they are the living embodiment of your soul mate.
But because you are not on the proverbial pedestal for long, they make you feel that the failure of the relationship is totally and completely your fault.
Your fall from grace has left you confused with many questions. Questions they will never answer or even validate. You actually start to believe it was all your fault.
They isolate you from the people and things you love so you only have them to turn to, but no real advice, support and most especially love is ever given. Only more questions…
They have you believing that you are the problem. If the relationship ends, it was all because of you. Though you have been abused in ways you can not even describe, they will turn the tables and label you as the abusive one…the one they needed to discard, only to be left a shell of yourself all the while they have someone new waiting in the wings.
The lack of closure is quite possibly the most manipulative thing they do because you have so many unanswered questions, so many doubts…doubts about everything, especially yourself. These manipulative tactics are not so “secretive” once you start to understand. But when you are in the thick of it, one might view these tactics as secretly manipulative, but the writing is on the wall…you just need to put the correct words together to form the sentence that will save your life…
NO Contact is the ONLY Way! NO NEGOTIATION!
Then their secret manipulation is not so secret anymore.
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Narcissists often use various manipulative tactics to control and exploit their partners. Here are some common ways in which a narcissist may secretly manipulate their partner:
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the narcissist seeks to make their partner doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. They may deny things they said or did, distort the truth, or make their partner feel like they are crazy or overly sensitive.
Love bombing: In the initial stages of a relationship, a narcissist may shower their partner with love, attention, and affection to create a strong emotional bond. This intense display of affection can make it difficult for the partner to see the narcissist's manipulative behavior later on.
Isolating the partner: Narcissists may try to isolate their partners from friends and family by criticizing them, creating conflict between the partner and their loved ones, or by monopolizing their time and attention.
Manipulative guilt trips: Narcissists may use guilt as a tool to manipulate their partner into doing what they want. They may make their partner feel responsible for their unhappiness or use past mistakes to guilt-trip them into compliance.
Silent treatment: Narcissists may use the silent treatment as a form of punishment or control. By ignoring their partner or giving them the cold shoulder, they can make their partner feel anxious, insecure, and desperate for their attention.
Projecting their insecurities: Narcissists often project their own negative traits onto their partners. They may accuse their partner of being selfish, controlling, or untrustworthy when, in fact, these are traits that the narcissist possesses.
Triangulation: Narcissists may involve a third party, such as an ex-partner or a friend, to create jealousy and insecurity in their current partner. By triangulating relationships, the narcissist can maintain control and keep their partner off balance.
Financial control: Some narcissists may use financial manipulation to control their partners. They may control access to money, withhold financial resources, or use money as a way to exert power and influence over their partner.
It is important to recognize these manipulative tactics and seek support if you believe you are in a relationship with a narcissist. If you feel that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, consider reaching out to a therapist, counselor, or a domestic abuse helpline for guidance and support.
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It's really hard for me to explain how he does what he does.
It makes me less willing to try and makes me feel kinda dumb. That's exactly what he wants.
But the manipulation and gaslighting is so subtle but often enough that after 4 years, I'm not me anymore. I'm a nervous wreck. My anxiety is on another level and I'm actually seeking mental health services but that's also playing into his hands and giving him the perfect ammunition to tell everyone how crazy I am and how great he is for putting up with me.
HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I NEED HELP, NOT BECAUSE IM CRAZY, BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOME IDIOT TRYING TO MAKE ME CRAZY!
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Before a narcissist secretly manipulates their partner, they must first, manipulate themselves.
Abuse of all kinds is all about the abuser gaining two things that they feel are otherwise missing from their lives:
POWER AND CONTROL
A narcissist doesn’t understand, that gaining POWER OVER others by placing others UNDER their control, only gives them the ILLUSION OF POWER. They desperately seek that of which they do not have. And because a narcissist will not search within themselves to find their power, they falsely believe that they will obtain it from you.
Feelings of powerlessness, are just that: feelings.
Power is a mental construct, an illusion of something tangible. Yet day after day, toxic people set forth to find and obtain this elusive power. Once they believe they have, it is very difficult for them to let it go. They believe they NEED it, to feel good inside.
And this is where your power resides. A narcissist needs you, not the other way around. They have been secretly manipulating YOU into believing that YOU NEED THEM.
You can’t GAIN POWER over someone. There is no upward movement of power. You must stay where you are, and push others beneath you. Manipulation is used to gain POWER OVER your partner, all the way up to large sectors of society, and comes in many forms.
Here are a few:
Gaslighting: A narcissist makes you question your reality. Narcissists and psychopaths believe that if you question yourself, then you will have to turn to them, to find “the truth”. They gain POWER OVER your very ability to think for yourself.
Blame Shifting: They are always right and you are always wrong. They are good, you are bad, and should be shamed and punished. What a powerful position to be in - and how lucky are you, to be with such a good and altruistic person.
Moving the Goal Posts: Determining how and when the game ends, gives a narcissist a powerful sense of control over you. You believe you have satisfied a request but uh-uh, not just yet ... you forgot to, or what if you, or, it’s not exactly what I was thinking, or I thought it was what I wanted, but now ...
Refusing to Resolve: A narcissist will never resolve a conflict. This is mainly because they can’t admit when they are wrong. No wrongdoing - no problem. A narcissist will placate you, with circular conversations and false apologies. They have no intention of ever actually atoning for any hurt or trouble they might have caused.
After you realize this, you stop even attempting to have any sort of real conversation with them, or seeking resolution with them. THEY LOVE THIS. To them, this feels like freedom. To you, it feels like oppression. And it is. Just another tactic to gain POWER OVER you.
Feeling powerless is a judgement, that comes from within. However, if this is not realized, and you believe that others have the ability to give and take power, as if it were currency (which, btw is a great example of an illusion of worth - power and money are cousins) then you are susceptible to allowing others to POWER OVER you, to place you beneath them.
ALL THIS WORK just so the narcissist can feel less powerless. I wrote up top that a narcissist must first manipulate themselves ... this is it. They’ve created this alternate reality, that so many others follow along with, creating so much devastation in its wake. When what they sought, was right there, inside of themselves all along.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-secretly-manipulate-their-partner
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:troll2:
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:taunt:
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What is the narcissist’s
last trick?
Part One
Dr. Melissa Kalt, M.D.
Trauma/Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Expert, Physician,
Author Jun 10
The narcissist’s last trick is to take you down in court.
Highly successful narcissistic abuse victims are treated differently than lower earning narcissistic abuse victims by the legal system.
Your success is held against you…
This conscious and subconscious bias against your success is based on scarcity thinking. The belief is that there is not enough to go around and that if you have a lot, you must have earned it at the expense of your partner. The system or individual starts with a perception of you as selfish, regardless of whether it’s true.
You start your interaction with the legal system as a tall poppy, someone just waiting to be knocked down a bit, to be lowered to their standard. The greater your success, the faster and harder you must fall. Underestimating this impact is costly. (I detail another 7 costly mistakes leaders make after narcissistic abuse here.)
To be fair, this bias is not limited to the legal system. Scarcity beliefs and tall poppy syndrome are pervasive throughout all of society.
The covert narcissist presents as the ultimate victim
This is the modus operandi of the covert narcissist – to be the victim or hero (or both) in every story. They play the role well.
Because you’ve been trapped in the drama triangle for years —even decades – you’re accustomed to the roles of persecutor and rescuer. Once you’ve committed to leaving, you’re no longer willing to rescue. To the outside world, this makes you appear to lack empathy.
Now one might argue, a trained professional should still be able to discern the truth.
I wrote this book to show them how.
https://go.melissakaltmd.com/discern-the-truth
And they should. But most can’t. Out of laziness or lack of knowledge, they see “he said, she said” and throw their hands up in the air, absolving themselves of responsibility for seeing the situation clearly.
They believe the evidence shows they are correct.
The covert narcissist in a narcissistic collapse LOOKS like the victim. They are often disheveled, scattered, and appear to need support and protection. You, on the other hand, appear to have it all together. You are smart, successful, and you’re making things happen.
Your success is an agitator…
Your success and your story are irreconcilable by the listener. Their bias results in cognitive dissonance.
You are clearly smart. You wouldn’t have tolerated abuse for decades.
You are strong. You would have contacted the police if things were really that bad.
You can support yourself. You chose to stay in the relationship.
Moreover, because you have the developmental skills of whole object relations and object constancy, you remember the good with the bad in the relationship. The covert narcissist only sees you as “all bad” while interacting with the legal system.
To the professional, untrained in narcissistic abuse, your story doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t fit with the intelligence, success, and strength they see in you.
This disconnect is agitating. It’s easier to assume that you’re lying.
Many professionals don’t understand the trauma bond…
To be fair, no one can understand the trauma bond without experiencing it. This is one of the reasons it’s imperative to have someone who has recovered from narcissistic abuse guide your journey. (I’ll teach you how to break your trauma bond in this free training.)
A woman told me recently why she quit therapy. She described the therapist’s last words to her, “The first time your husband cheated, he was wrong. The second time your husband cheated, he was wrong. The third time your husband cheated, you were a fool.”
This is a therapist that doesn’t understand the trauma bond.
The legal system often doesn’t understand it either…
They don’t believe a smart, successful person would stay in an abusive relationship.
They don’t believe you’ve been abused for 10, 20, 30 or more years.
They don’t believe you’d take an abusive partner back.
Without a thorough understanding of the trauma bond, you look like either an idiot or a liar. Neither is good in the legal professional’s eyes.
Legal decisions have little to do with justice…
Doing this work, I hear extreme stories on the regular…
She opened credit cards without my knowledge and now I am responsible for half this debt.
He destroyed numerous valuable assets when he was angry.
She slept with my boss, and I was demoted.
He used my income to pay for his “escapades” with other partners.
She gave joint funds to his friends and family without my permission.
He spends all his money going out with the guys, not on our kids.
She refused to work for two decades and now is accustomed to our “lifestyle.”
Many states are “no fault.” The narcissist’s shenanigans aren’t even taken into consideration. If children are involved, their well-being is always prioritized.
Legal decisions are often based on who has the ability to pay, not on justice. If you have the ability to pay for legal fees, maintenance, and child support, chances are good that you will.
How to use your success to your advantage to thwart the trick…
Your success is well-deserved. You are smart, committed, and motivated. This is a great opportunity to use it.
Your single best move in any legal interaction is to complete your narcissistic abuse recovery journey as quickly as possible. If you’ve left the relationship and worked with a therapist, that’s a great start. There’s more.
Next, you must eradicate your rumination habit, which is extremely costly and moves you further from your goals. After that, you create clarity by understanding the dynamics of the relationship, why the narcissist behaves as they do, and why you respond as you do. You’re then ready to break your trauma bond and stop attracting narcissist drama. From there, you rewrite your subconscious patterns and beliefs.
At that point, not only does your legal situation improve, but your success becomes limitless. This is the work I love to do with leaders. If you’re one of them, DM me, “I’m ready,” and let’s have a conversation.
Excerpted from an article originally published on Medium.
Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a leadership catalyst, narcissistic abuse survivor turned recovery specialist, and CEO of Sustainably You where we help Soul-driven leaders transcend their past experience of narcissistic abuse to create greater impact and fulfillment while they change the world.
Disclaimer:
This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may help you. For more, follow Antifragile Narcissist Survivors with Dr Melissa.
Though I am a doctor, I’m not YOUR doctor. Please consult a local professional for your particular medical and legal needs and circumstances.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-narcissist-s-last-trick
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What is the narcissist’s
last trick?
Part Two
The narcissist's last trick is to discard you.
This means that they will suddenly and abruptly end the relationship with you, without any explanation or closure.
They will act as if you never existed, and they will move on to a new source of supply.
They will do this to make you feel worthless, rejected, and abandoned. They will also do this to avoid any accountability or responsibility for their actions.
They will try to make you believe that you are the problem, and that they are better off without you. This is a cruel and devastating way to end a relationship, and it can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and betrayed.
The narcissist's last trick is designed to inflict maximum pain and damage on you, while they escape unscathed. They will do this to make themselves feel powerful and superior, and to avoid facing their own insecurities and flaws.
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In the world of mental chess that narcissists play, the final gambit, the last trick they pull from their dark, twisted sleeve, isn't just a move, it's a grand finale of manipulation and emotional pyrotechnics.
It's what I call the "Emotional Houdini Act" - the ultimate vanishing trick, leaving you questioning your own sanity, reality, and worth.
Picture this: After rounds and rounds of gaslighting, manipulation, and the roller coaster of highs and lows, just when you think you've seen it all, they pull the carpet from under your feet.
This isn't just ghosting; it's disappearing with every piece of belief, confidence, and self-esteem you had. It’s crafting a narrative so compelling, your friends, family, and even your dog would second-guess your version of events. It's an art form, a masterclass in psychological warfare, and you're left on the battlefield wondering where you even are.
This move, this devastatingly brilliant tactic, is the narcissist reaffirming their place at the center of the universe—at least, their universe. They twist the narrative, playing the victim or the hero as it suits them, leaving you as the villain in the eyes of the world. It's rewriting history, erasing your contributions, your pain, your voice from the story of your own life.
But here's the twist, the moment of clarity, your wake-up call. This isn't just a trick; it's your liberation. Their final act, their coup de grâce, ironically, is the key to your chains. The moment you realize that their disappearance, their rewriting of history, is their admission of defeat. They've played their last card, and it's a sign, a clear signal, that you're free.
Free to rebuild, to redefine, to reclaim your narrative and voice. This is where you rise, where you take the pieces they've left behind, and you build a fortress so strong, so authentically you, they couldn't penetrate it if they tried. This is your rebirth, your phoenix moment.
So, when faced with the narcissist’s last trick, smile. Know that this is where you win. It's where you take everything they thought they took from you and turn it into armor, into wisdom. It's your turn to be the architect of your future, and this time, the foundations are unshakeable. Stand tall, stand proud, because the game is over, and you, my friend, are the undisputed champion.
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The last trick is once you are totally hooked and blindly in love..... once they have wronged you many times but convinced you you’re in the wrong: once you have begged for it to be like old times again many times and after you have totally compromised your values by forgiving things you never believed you could.... they pull the discard.
They disappear or go no contact as if everything was all a dream.
They have likely already lined up or been in their next relationship so they totally are unbothered by the break up.
Meanwhile you are addicted and feel as if they owe you all you were promised. You won’t understand how someone who you loved so deeply could just disappear like that or move on so quickly. You may go years or a lifetime before you love someone so deeply and you will never trust anyone with such innocence again.
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If there's nothing left they can do, if they have soundly and irrevocably failed, when they cannot blame anyone else, they cannot browbeat people, or manipulate the situation, when their failure is so obvious and public that no twisting of words and facts can fix it, then the narcissists will fall back on a classic last resort favored among primary schoolers:
The last trick of a narcissist is to say that they wanted it that way and that that's how they like it.
Here are some prime examples:
She didn't dump me, I dumped her, I was tired of her anyway.
I didn't want the promotion anyway, I'm too good for that job.
I didn't go bankrupt, I got tired of the business and was tricking the bank to get out.
I wasn't fired, I quit because everyone there is incompetent.
They didn't reject me, they were just too blind to see my genius.
This trick is based on an astounding ability inherent to many narcissists: being able to convince themselves of their own lies, no matter how ridiculous, unbelievable, and transparent they are to everyone else.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-narcissist-s-last-trick
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What is the narcissist’s
last trick?
Part Three
This gets seldom talked about because in most cases, narcissists will Hoover and try to slowly lure a person back into this perpetual loop of abuse, manipulation, and control, but what SOMETIMES happens is a narcissist will DEAD you in the end.
The narcissist will DEAD you when he can see no other option and has decided to cut you out of his life forever.
This usually happens after multiple brief spouts of the silent treatment, preemptive discards, and of course, a lot of verbal abuse and sabotage on the victim - but DEADING someone or carrying out the FINAL DISCARD is a serious full measure used to absolutely destroy the relationship like it never happened, absolving the narcissist of all responsibility and preventing any further contact with you.
Why does this only happen to some narcissistic abuse victims but not all, you ask? Well, this will happen if the narcissist deems you UNOBTAINABLE- you’re most likely married/in a committed relationship, or have otherwise REJECTED the narcissist’s attempts at wooing you and he knows he cannot have you.
This may happen once you UNMASK the narcissist- you have exposed them for what they are and you have confronted them on their poor behavior. They will go to great lengths to deny everything and blame you of course, but once a narcissist knows you are onto them, you become a danger and a liability so they must GET RID of you.
Lastly, this may happen if a narcissist has found a NEW SUPPLY that he values more than you. He needs you to leave his life and not interrupt him during his narcissistic gameplay with his new target - you will only make things complicated for him so he has to push you out of his life.
When a narcissist DEADS you, it can be one of the most painful experiences you will ever go through. The person you thought you loved and cared for has completely turned on you and ABANDONED you. They will show you no compassion and will surely project all of their anger, cruelty, and blame unto you.
The narcissist will use every measure of cruelty to cut you down, make you feel worthless, and paint himself as the superior winner in the situation. He will at first, delight in your agony, pleading, and devastated reaction to his SHUNNING of you, but this will only make him double down on his torture - he MEANS to hurt you so much that you will LEAVE HIM ALONE.
He does not care how you feel, what you think, your side of the story - nothing. He wants you to cease to exist, and if it were legal to kill you, he probably would.
I’m sorry for anyone who has gone through or is going through this. It is incredibly painful and it will take time to heal from this. Know that your narcissist will give you NOTHING in terms of closure, answers, apologies, empathy- you will get NONE of it, so don’t go looking for it where it does not exist.
The person you thought you knew is GONE. If you try to contact him, he will ignore and/or block you. If you go to him he will look at you as if you are NOTHING and he will turn his back on you. He will take not a shred of culpability for the situation, and if he can smear you and make others believe you are at fault “crazy”, “obsessed”, he will.
You have to let this go, and I know how hard that is. Please seek therapy, go NO CONTACT to protect yourself, and work on your own self-love and care. It will take everything in you to move forward from this type of devastating betrayal and desecration but you WILL get through this. Best of luck.
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I'm not certain if the last trick that all Narcissists attempt is the same. All I know is my ex Narcissist's last trick was to attempt the final kill shot because to her, destroying me was only a game.
After being together for 27 years she'd walked out of my life as if I was nothing more than a temporary convenience for her. In fact, that's what she told me. She said that she was only with me because it was convenient and that her only goal was to get her hands on my Mother's wealth. My Mother insisted that I needed to file for a divorce or else. But I refused, so my Mother removed me from her will and decided that if my wife had left me for a man who was a convicted murderer then I must have been the worst husband that any woman could ask for.
My wife turned out to be a fraud and so my Mother disowned me for it. Go figure. Family is meaningless to me because all my family ever did to me was used me and treated me like crap. Talked behind my back, accused me of being something that I would never be.
And falling for my ex's pity act. I curse my ex Narcissist, I hope she burns in hell for deliberately turning my life in to a living hell of being alone and being judged by others due to her malicious lies.
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The last trick of a narcissist is often one of their most destructive and damaging tactics to gain control over their victim. Narcissists are generally skilled manipulators and they use a variety of techniques to keep their victims under their control.
Narcissists have been known to devalue, degrade, absurdly criticize or monitor the behavior of those around them in order to extort compliance or loyalty. They may also employ guilt-tripping tactics or constant emotional blackmail in order to maintain control over the people closest to them.
At the end, when all else fails, the narcissist's last move is often what experts call “Hoovering” — named after an old vacuum cleaner brand — wherein they attempt to entrap you by any means necessary; this can range from making false promises about changing for the better (which rarely happens) to projecting an image that everything has returned back “normal” and nothing bad has happened between you two (even though it clearly did).
It's important for victims of narcissistic abuse understand that no matter how hard they try, it will never be easy being around someone who thinks only about themselves. To protect yourself from falling into another cycle of manipulation at some point down road - seek help from a professional therapist who specializes in treating narcissistic personality disorder so that you can learn healthy coping strategies!
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They have a lot of “last tricks” as it takes years for them to let you go!
Usually you get tantrums, faux suicide attempts, false reports to police, f*cking your best friend or worst enemy, anonymous text apologies at 3am. That sort of crap.
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Bait you with money.
After my divorce and having nowhere to go..I was promised a flat that my parents would pay for. I refused to believe it. My brother swore that they would do it. I only came back based on that promise because I could not afford anything where I was abroad.
My parents are wealthy and own several houses, garages and so on. This was another future faking. As soon as I arrived, I am told that I am the liar and they never said that. Now I am up sh!tz creek.
Careful of narcissistic families. And if there is a Golden Boy or Golden Girl in the midst…..there is always an agenda.
It is very very hard for me to write this. Narcissists are obsessed with money and inheritances and they will use all tricks to have you at their beck and call. Their slave.
Oh by the way, they believe they are immortals. But they have a lot of cognitive dissonances within…..they are also panicking. I have been trying very hard all those years to understand the mind of malignant narcissists and I admit my brain is still like….nooooo…..no one could do that !
Oh yes they will.
I do now believe there is evil in this world.
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The narcissist's last trick is to leave the victim feeling crazy and powerless.
After spending months or years trying to please and accommodate the narcissist, the victim finally realizes that they will never be good enough. At this point, the narcissist has already moved on to their next victim, leaving the previous one feeling like they're going crazy. The victim feels helpless and alone, with no idea how to make things right.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-narcissist-s-last-trick
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What is the narcissist’s
last trick?
Part Four
The narcissist’s final ploy is a cunning display of manipulation designed to leave their victim utterly bewildered and doubting their own sense of reality.
Here are some hallmarks and highlights of the intricate psychological tactics narcissists employ and how understanding these can empower victims to reclaim their lives.
The Narcissist's Final Gambit: The Emotional Houdini Act
1. The Grand Disappearance: After a protracted period of gaslighting, deceit, and emotional turbulence, the narcissist executes a dramatic exit. This isn't just ghosting; it’s a calculated retreat that leaves you feeling forsaken and perplexed. They vanish completely, depriving you of any form of closure.
2. Manipulating the Narrative: In their wake, narcissists weave a new storyline that casts them as the protagonist or the wronged party, and you as the antagonist. This narrative is so persuasive and manipulative that it causes even those close to you to doubt your account. Friends, family, and colleagues may be swayed by the narcissist's version of events, leaving you isolated and questioning your own reality.
3. Emotional Warfare: This strategy is a form of psychological combat. The narcissist's aim is to erode your confidence and self-worth completely. By causing you to question your memories and experiences, they seek to keep you ensnared in a state of confusion and self-doubt.
4. Reinforcing Their Centrality: Through this act, the narcissist reasserts their position at the center of their universe. They manipulate the narrative to ensure they remain the focal point, casting themselves in whatever role benefits them most. They thrive on the chaos and suffering they leave behind, as it bolsters their sense of dominance and control.
The Road to Freedom: Reclaiming Your Strength
However, this ultimate act of manipulation can also be your moment of liberation. Recognizing the narcissist’s final gambit for what it is—a desperate bid to maintain control—can be the key to breaking free from their influence.
1. Recognize the Strategy: Understanding that the narcissist’s vanishing act and narrative manipulation are deliberate moves helps you see through the deceit. This awareness is the first step toward reclaiming your power.
2. Take Back Your Story: Seize control of your narrative. Surround yourself with supportive individuals who believe in your truth and can help you rebuild your sense of self. Your experiences are valid, and your voice in your personal story is important.
3. Establish Firm Boundaries: Setting strong boundaries is crucial. Protect yourself from further manipulation by cutting off contact if necessary and refusing to engage with the narcissist’s attempts to reel you back in.
4. Focus on Healing and Rebuilding: Concentrate on healing and rebuilding your life. Seek therapy or counseling to work through the trauma and regain your self-esteem. Invest time in activities and relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment. Life worth living is a combination of discipline and surrender.
Choose your hard wisely. What kind of hard is satisfying to you long term? What can you do to improve your wellbeing? Acting on your positive and life affirming ideas (no matter how small this might look like) every day is foundational. Strong conviction about small things will turn into a substantial momentum and inspire you to take much more bald steps in the future.
5. Embrace Your Rebirth: This is your opportunity to rise from the ashes. Use the pain and lessons learned from the narcissist’s manipulation to create a stronger, wiser version of yourself. Your resilience and strength are your greatest assets. Investing your time and efforts in understanding yourself and learning the mechanisms of abusive psychodynamics will help you recognize similar patterns and avoid getting involved with a similar type of maladaptive personality.
Knowledge is power. Once you learn the patterns of highly insecure and/or entitled people, you will recognize them after one or two interactions.
In summary, the narcissist’s final schtick is a testament to their manipulative skill, but it is also their last, desperate attempt to control you. By recognizing this tactic and reclaiming your narrative, you transform their act of emotional warfare (in reality it is their desperation) into your moment of liberation. Stand tall, tap into and embrace your toughness, and become the architect of your future, where you are the undisputed creator of your own story.
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The last trick of a Narcissist- once they can't deny any longer all of the abusive things they did or said during your relationship, and you've completely moved on-and you've begun sharing your story:
Is that a Narc will get Flying Monkeys (their friends or family members, or NEW supplies they are dating that are oblivious to what the Narc is truly like) to spy on you and message you.
The Flying Monkeys will message you things like, “He feels really bad about what happened.”
What happens when you don't respond to them, is eventually their messages begin to change from trying to convince you the Narc feels bad, to:
“Okay, we KNOW you know he used you, and manipulated you. But you have to let this go now and move on.”
When all of this begins to happen- you truly just need to ignore all of them.
Because here's the thing: It doesn't matter what these Flying Monkeys say to you.
If a Narc truly is sorry about what they did: they would be able to face you themselves.
People who are truly sorry, don't need other people to apologize for them. They OWN their mistakes.
That's part of maturity. You have to be able to stand on your own two feet- and acknowledge the wrong things you have done YOURSELF.
A narcs heart will never heal- unless they face their victims and can truly Repent on their own.
But- that's why Narcs are continually on the run.
Trying to hide their shame and guilt, by avoiding the past, and just trying to make themselves consoled by sleeping with a new woman or man.
All it does- is build an even taller wall of shame.
And each new Supply- is like a new brick being added to that wall.
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The narcissist’s last trick is that they have to destroy you before they leave you, before everything goes south.
They have to destroy you, and the reason why they destroy you is because they don't want you to move on.
They don't want you to be okay.
They don't want you to be that person that they met right at the beginning.
They don't nurture you.
They don't nurture this relationship. This isn't a relationship about growing and creating something together. This is about competition. This is about hierarchy. They've got to be better than you all the time.
So, this is why they want to destroy you before they leave, because if they destroy you, you are on the floor, you are crying. You're not going to be able to move forward. You're not going to be able to forget the narcissist.
That is what they want. They want you to not forget them because they think that if they leave you on the floor over here, they're going to come back for you, and you're still going to be on the floor waiting for them.
They don't want you to get better because if you get better, you get stronger, you get your power back. If you get your power back and you get stronger, you're able to move forward and live your life, and they know that you will do that. But they don't want you to leave them behind; they can't do that for themselves. They can't heal from this. They can't heal from any of their trauma that they have gone through. They're not self-actualized.
So, their last trick is they put you down, they press your buttons, and they make you feel like you are nothing. They use all the secrets and all of the intimate things that you have told them because you trusted them, and they use all of that against you to put you down because they know that's going to hurt the most.
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Well I just learned two new ones.
One is the 'zinger” where they insult you in a fast quick sentence in the middle of a monologue seeking to get it to go to your subconscious. Step -parents who are narcissists do this. Blah blah blah You have never followed a plan to ever get anything accomplished in your life. Blah blah blah. I experienced this and watched a narc girlfriend do this to boyfriend's two kids in front of me and say rotten things about them to me.
The other is “couching” which is when you put an insult in between a compliment or two. An example would be that they say,”I know you try so hard to always be clean and neat. You have to face that you are not attractive though and have an annoying personality: you may never have a husband or career. I think that it is wonderful that you try so hard, and that you try to look attractive. That is to be commended.”
Then the person cannot understand why someone nice would lie to them and start to think that maybe what they say is true. These are two evil and sly and sneaky ways to tear down the victim.
The narcissist wants to tear down the self-esteem of their victim and destroy their potential in life. It is so sad and evil. It is evil and sad because the tactics work and cause so much destruction. I worked with a woman who was doing this to me. Many people have done this to me because I was nice and they were not. They destroyed my potential and I let them. I am fighting back and trying to recover at an older age. I will be 57 in a couple months.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-narcissist-s-last-trick
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Do narcissists have the capacity to care about the pain they cause others? Do they ever think about anyone other than themselves, or do they lack empathy entirely?
Yeah and yet no.
They can and could, but they don't and won't.
This would be especially true if they would be unable to benefit from it. Thus as to why they can put on a performance if need be for they would be aware of what would be deemed as a favorable reaction, but once more may easily lose interest or cut it off if they would become bored, not at all interested or caring if it could possibly ruin someone else's day.
Better yet, they may intentionally cause a ruckus just to amuse themself. It is rather bizarre how transactional they can become, and how easily bored that they can be from their drama as well.
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Short answer: "NO, they don’t".
If they get caught, they pretend to care only because they are caught, but how can you feel bad about something you’re intentionally doing to people? They are well aware of the pain they are inflicting on others.
That’s why in public they are the sweetest, kindest, loving people and behind closed doors they are complete monsters. Only way you can turn on and off inappropriate behaviors is if you are aware of what you are doing.
So the answer is NO. They lack empathy: the part of their brain where we care about hurting others is severely undeveloped in these creatures. They only care about themselves and their self-centered agendas.
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They enjoyed it. That is the truth.
So the more damages they cause, the more they feel powerful. Look what significant power a narcissist has over us!
Of course, they are not going to admit this.
So take the power back please. Show this individual how strong in character you are. The narcissist damaged me? As if!
I am smiling. I am happy. I am determined to heal. So F*CK 'EM!
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Rest assured that their empathy is below zero. If it were not below zero, there would never be so many victims resorting to suicide by the thousands every single year.
Do you think that a narcissist will show any remorse if he/she knows that the victim resorted to suicide? No. To the contrary, the narcissist will feel fakely powerful and will be determined that the next victim will resort to suicide in a shorter time span.
That is the truth about narcissists. Never be fooled by evil people.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-have-the-capacity-to-care-about-the-pain-they-cause-others-Do-they-ever-think-about-anyone-other-than-themselves-or-do-they-lack-empathy-entirely
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Why so many victims of
narcissistic abuse commit suicide?
Because they make their victim seriously want to die (from all the abuse and mind f*cking). They are pure Evil/ Demonic. The victim feels like they are worthless and no good to anyone (what they've been told by the narc). They feel death couldn't be any worse than life is right now.
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If a person has spent their life (from birth, forward) in any number of relationships of this type and at some point has a breakthrough or realization that this has been their life’s history, the potential becomes heightened. If the breakthrough/realization occurs late in life and repeated attempts to extract themselves from the abusive relationship(s) fail, I can see hopelessness and despair taking hold and that option of escape becoming a reality.
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To my mind, a victim of narcissistic abuse has the following options:
Exit the relationship - please act like a statue and allow the Grand Narcy the honor to discard you to avoid narcissistic injury.
The narcissist makes the final discard.
Finish in a mental institution.
Suicide.
All four consequences are gross, especially 3 and 4. The healthiest option is 1 but I fully understand that a victim may not have the luxury or willpower to exit the relationship.
The final discard is gross when considering that despite the fact that the victim would be ready to appease the abuser, but still gets discarded. This automatically triggers a trauma in the human being but we need to understand that many a time we may adore someone but that someone may not want us in his life.
I have read many a story here on Quora and many relate about victims finishing with mental problems or resort to suicide.
If you stop and think, it is actually the narcissist that should finish in a mental institution or commit suicide and not the once healthy victims. Because they are ultimately not mentally stable and are full of rage.
Why resort to suicide?
If the victim is completely isolated from their own family and so feels completely alone - what are their thoughts when there is no help from anywhere? Are help line attendants well trained to understand narcissistic abuse?
If the narcissist is obsessed with destroying you, should we be surprised that the victim has suicidal thoughts? This obsession may last years not months!
At times narcissists are so insidious that they convince others to hit at you too concurrently. So the poor victim does not in fact have to deal with one enemy at a time but various different ones at the same time. This to any normal human being can cause too much stress.
The children of narcissists, in my opinion, are given too much of a disadvantage in life. This is much worse than coming into this world as an orphan. They faced the ultimate betrayal.
Adopted children - yes of course the narcissist - especially females adopt children to use and abuse. I hope the authorities address this issue.
Not everyone has a strong character. Not everyone is capable of saying "No more, you moron!"
Some may be too trauma bonded to do anything about their situation. Here I recall the mass suicides inside cults.
Conclusion: Yes there are too many suicide victims due to narcissistic abuse simply because narcissists know exactly how and when they should lead a victim to desperation.
Because that was their main aim at the beginning of the day. Their inner toxicity is transferred to us normal human beings and because they took our healthy emotions, it is very easy to give up on life when we are subjected to their abuse, sometimes lasting years.
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Narcs are the worst abusers.
Their numerous mind twisting games and tactics are to the extreme. If a victim does not know that the person she/he is being abused by has NPD, they may tend to blame themself and suffer from poor self esteem. The victim doesn’t know that the person (NPD) created a false self that will drive them crazy.
These unaware victims can blame themselves, as the NPD tries to convince the victim that they are the ones to blame for everything. Narcs also gaslight in order to try to make their victim question their own reality.
Even when victims have figured out that they are entangled with an NPD, many will suffer a lot of disbelief, confusion, depression, anxiety, PTSD, anger, resentment, etc.
Victims can get hooked to the narc through trauma bonds. It is like getting hooked on drugs. They can have a lot of cognitive dissonance about the relationship. Their logical mind tells them one thing and their heart tells them another. This causes a lot of internal confusion. It Is extremely hard to leave NPD abusers. That makes a victim feel even more distress, as they feel embarrassed and weak for not leaving. They don’t know why they can’t just leave.
Victims can’t wrap their heads around the idea that they got themselves into this, and they can’t believe how the narc could dish out such insane abuse and behaviors to the smartest, strongest, nicest person.
How could the Narc be crazy about you for a short time, then they bully you, control you, and create unnecessary conflicts on purpose, and when they are done with you, they leave or you leave them?
It is so unbelievable. Narcs try to destroy people in every way, and they use up the victims resources. After all of this, they have no remorse. Some narcs rage like a devil for hours. They hold innocent people as prisoners of their disorder. They often blackmail people into staying with them. Narcs falsely blame others for their dirty deeds. This is enough to send some victims over the edge. Many victims/survivors suffer from emotional, psychological and physical problems due to the NPD/s in their life.
For me personally, I have mainly dealt with a lot of cognitive dissonance. I have not suffered from depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc. because I am a very strong person with a strong self esteem, and self awareness.
I always knew that the problems were within my NPD partners all along, even before I started doing all of my intense research on what was going on and my discovery that they had NPD. My research started 3 months after I started dating Narc #2. I have been with #3, for a total of 10 years.
I have often thought, if I wasn’t the person I am, I don’t think that I could have endured all of this. What happens to those who are not as self aware, or unaware of NPD, or who are not strong enough to take all of this?
I understand how defeated a person can feel. I understand how isolated and lonely they feel. I understand the injustice they suffered. Victims feel very alone within the NPD relationship, as well as for a long time after the relationship has ended. I understand how the victim can feel like they have been fooled and trapped.
I understand the fear of meeting another NPD and falling for them. Many victims go through this more than one time. The victim is so stripped down by the perpetrator(s) that they feel as if their life may never be normal again.
At some point, victims come to realize that because they have good traits that predators seek, that they will need to be on guard, put up stronger boundaries, be more vigilant in looking for NPD traits in people they meet, etc., in order to avoid being ensnared again in the future.
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Because of the poison that infiltrated their life. The hell they went thru ripped away their ability to feel happiness, and left them in perpetual darkness with little hope for anything but more darkness. The light at the end of the tunnel pulls away. They never get any closer; it never draws near.
Their faith in themselves and in humanity in general got shredded with words intended to maim and destroy. Words that demeaned and shamed them into shadows of the people they once were.
Hope and love was repeatedly offered then snatched away with callous intent for someone else's amusement. Someone that was trusted to have their best interest in mind who instead tramped thru their life like they never mattered and had no worth or value.
Because they were gradually and meticulously slowly killed from the inside out with malice and intent, and was left to fester and rot.
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Because the narcissist has a way of being your very best friend and your worst enemy at the same time.
You start doubting yourself, falling in their traps, falling for their fake generosity that comes at a cost. They show up when you need help, to save the day, which is helpful but only to throw it in your face later. “ After all I've done for you.” Now you owe them and the guilt trips are always in front of people to make you look bad. They minimize and exaggerate so that everyone around you has a distorted view of you and what you are like and one day you look around and don't even have a shadow.
God forbid they have unknown jealousy of you or they will isolate you, wait until you are super low and then dump you and make you think it's your fault. No one likes you when it's them who tainted your reputation without you knowing it.
If you just hang in there, time will bring all their lies back to you and you will find out what they have done and said. These people are so good at manipulating to get what they want and spare no expense, even death that is indirectly or directly caused by them. Some go for years without ever being caught.
Here is a great example:
The Interrogation of Stephanie Lazarus*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLSNPkf8RCU
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Sherri_Rasmussen
https://www.quora.com/Why-so-many-victims-of-narcissistic-abuse-commit-suicide
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In a general context, how does a narcissist typically respond when you stand up for yourself?
They don’t like that one bit as they want all the control l00% of the time. As soon as you disagree with them, you become public enemy #1.
They will hate you and begin their quest to destroy you.
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A narcissist will deflect, deny, gaslight and blame-shift to make themselves the victim & you the abuser; they’ll smear you behind your back to convince their enablers that YOU were abusive toward them (just for asserting yourself, expressing feelings or attempting to have a conversation that does not revolve around praising them).
Otherwise, they ignore you and move directly to smearing you behind your back (my stepfather’s fav). They will never speak with YOU about what “happened” or apologize to you but will go on and on behind your back to people who were not there and have nothing to do with the matter at hand which the narc made sure was never actually addressed.
Once they feel successful in their smear campaign (wherein they continue to triangulate their enablers against you), they may love bomb you as though their insanely abusive behavior toward you never occurred. My toxic family of origin presented with this cycle of abuse, smearing, and love bombing as a means to control me (the scapegoat), keep me quiet and in the role of scapegoat to absorb all of THEIR toxic shame.
It worked for decades because I was conditioned at such a young age to believe that my voice, my feelings, my autonomy and reality are meaningless & nonexistent. The TRUTH of who you are and who they are is reversed by the narcissists so that they may live with themselves, actually believing that they are “good people” and harmless victims while the harmless, victimized scapegoat is the problem who must cope with carrying the burdens of the entire family’s shame and self-loathing.
It is a soul murder like no other.
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They get worse. They start blaming you for everything that’s gone wrong. You’re to blame for their being unhappy; for you having to stand up to them when the “how DARE you” mental games start.
Narcissists cannot fathom anyone standing up for themselves. They simply cannot process that you’re no longer grovelling at their feet, being the puppet they have jerked around.
Narc’s can’t understand that your rose colored glasses have come off and you see them for the vile manipulator that they really are, and you’re no longer at their beck and call.
They’ll Irma Grese and whine and try every play in their evil book to tear you down or try to make you feel guilty. DON’T LET THEM DO THAT!! You can stop the bullshit they’re peddling and when they realize you’re no longer taking the bullshit they’ll either carry on or shut down entirely, or at least give themselves a chance to regroup to try a new tactic. One they haven’t used before or an old one they think you won’t remember.
DO NOT give them anymore chances. Either leave if they live with you or throw them to the curb and don’t let them back in. Either way, end it now for good... for your own good. Stay safe and God bless.
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Be prepared for the rage and the slew of counter accusations of All your alleged lies, infidelities, faults, deliberately withholding money, sex, etc., etc.. It will be ugly, physically threatening as they might fly across the room and physically tower over you, or scream in your face or worse, physically grab you, dominate you into silence.
It will never go well. Narcissists do not like to discuss any problems when they fully believe that they are totally in the right. Quietly pack a go-bag, leave it at a friends house, along with any cash you can manage to keep, and find a new place to live. Then when they go off to work, pack up, hire movers, and quietly leave. File for a Restraining Order ASAP.
Remember, the most dangerous time for a partner is right after they leave, because you have fatally wounded them, and the consequences could be life threatening. Been there, scary. Be safe.
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They would probably take your standing up for yourself as a put down to them and say something like “There you go putting me down again” cuz everything of course has to be about them good, bad or indifferent.
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When you stand up for yourself, a narcissist typically responds in one or more of the following ways:
1. Defensiveness and Denial: They may deny any wrongdoing and become defensive, often trying to turn the situation around to make you seem unreasonable or overly sensitive.
2. Manipulation and Gaslighting: They might attempt to manipulate you or gaslight you, making you doubt your own perceptions of reality.
3. Blame Shifting: Narcissists often shift the blame onto others, including you, to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
4. Anger and Aggression: Either verbally or emotionally, attempting to intimidate or bully you into backing down.
5. Playing the Victim: They may portray themselves as the victim, seeking sympathy and support from others to make you appear to be the aggressor.
6. Silent Treatment: Some narcissists might resort to the silent treatment, ignoring you as a way to punish and manipulate you.
Overall, their response is typically aimed at maintaining control and protecting their fragile ego and fake self-esteem.
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A narcissist will lie, cry, look for allys, do anything possible to con you. They can be wonderful if their seemingly wonderful behavior serves their own personal agenda. And please do not forget, many people who are not pure narcissists still have the tendencies of a life-long People-Using jerk. Kick them to the curb.
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Be prepared for the extreme silent treatment, alternated with extreme provocations. Be prepared for all kind of shenanigans, smear campaigns, lies, and rewriting history.
Those people have no decency, no real values. They will use whatever methods on hand to belittle you and destroy you. Normal people cannot go down to their levels. I know I just cannot.
Leave before they discard you for they can be extremely brutal and violent people underneath their “angel masks”.
They want to win at any cost and any means will justify the end. They will always see you as the enemy. Very paranoid people. They also fear abandonment very much, so sticking up for yourself demonstrates a real threat to their imagined sense of power.
Be prepared for a very, very dirty battle.
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Generally, they love baiting you and causing arguments. Where most of us get exhausted fighting with people, it empowers and gives the narcissist a nice hit of Supply.
Plus they love when you try to stand up for yourself, because they enjoy beating you back down, and crushing your spirit so that you’ll think twice before doing that again. All part of their master plan to chip away and slowly destroy you.
https://www.quora.com/In-a-general-context-how-does-a-narcissist-typically-respond-when-you-stand-up-for-yourself
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:badscore:
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What To Do When People Don’t
Know What They’re
Talking About
Today’s post is a continuation from the last one, and it’s about what you can do when people are talking but they don’t know what they’re talking about.
It’s a common behavior. For the most part, it has innocent roots. In my training program and coaching work on Dealing With People You Can’t Stand, I use the label ‘Think-They-Know-It-All’ as shorthand for a person demonstrating this trait or behavior. Where the Know It All actually knows a lot, the Think They Know It All knows just enough to be dangerous.
Because I know that so many people who don’t know but think they do are just doing what people so often do, my first advice in dealing with them, whether it’s their chronic behavior or it’s become acutely unpleasant, is to do what may seem unthinkable to you at the time.
Give them a break
If you ever find yourself dealing with a person who doesn’t know what they’re talking about, try this. Give them the benefit of the doubt. The way you do it is you make excuses for them. “I guess you didn’t see the research that came out on this last month,” or “You were probably busy with something else when they studied this and drew a very different conclusion” or “You may be as surprised as I was to find out that (that) turns out not to be exactly what happened.”
Instead of contradicting them straight out, invent a reason for their not knowing what you know. They were busy. They must not have seen. Nobody must have told them. This just came in. Something. Anything. Helping them save face helps them face the facts that you’re about to give them. Giving them an alternative to having to defend themselves keeps them from becoming defensive.
Tell it like it is
If you have data and sources, put it out there. As my instructors in school used to say, "Show me your sources". Or as my grandfather might put it, “So where is it written?” The nice thing about providing evidence is that, even if people don’t follow up to check it out, it adds authority and credibility to what you have to say. Of course, a person may disagree with your source, but that’s a deeper level of conversation, and at least reality is a way in.
Use Junk O’ Logic
Don’t know your source but know there is one? Dealing with someone who is intractably determined to keep their foot in their mouth? Another great escape that you can utilize to great effect is the old advertising principle of Junk O’ Logic.
This is an advertising principle discovered in the 1950’s, that says you can give most people two unrelated ideas as if they are one idea, and if you congruently present them as if they are one idea, people are usually inclined to make sense of it. This principle has been used to great effect in cigarette, beer and auto advertising, and just about everything else besides.
Turn on the TV, open a magazine, look at a billboard, and chances are you’ll be seeing an image that has nothing to do with the product.
How do you use this? Simply take the errant information and hook it together with your information, and act like they are somehow related. This creates a sense of confusion, sends the person on a trans-derivational search for meaning that will keep them occupied long enough to stop pressing ahead on a road to nowhere.
“Thanks for bringing that up! You reminded me of an article I read in which…(and provide the new information)”.
If your data is compelling, or you sound more authoritative, the person may realize they are out of their information league, and will take the life saver you’ve thrown them.
This works because when people don’t know what they’re talking about, they are less likely to be attached to it. That’s not always true, particularly in matters of politics and religion. But in most other areas, it gives you and them a way away from what isn’t so to something that is. Give people a way to go along with you, chances are they will jump on your bandwagon.
This approach has long-range ramifications too. If people learn through time and consistency that you do know what you are talking about, they will be less inclined to challenge you.
https://www.artofchange.com/persuasion/what-to-do-when-people-dont-know-what-theyre-talking-about/#page-content
-
They always play the victim, especially when
they start the problem.
Narcissists & Accountability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhYYCb6x6qg
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It’s not that they CAN have a toxic impact on you,
they WILL have a toxic impact on you.
5 Signs Of A Narcissist's Toxic
Impact Upon You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSwPZhdbL_I
-
This kind of person doesn't just hurt you. They relish the complete destruction of your life.
They laugh at your isolation and pain.
How Sociopathic Narcissists
Set You Up For Hurt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAClX6KcFcM
-
:tello: "Re-Take!"
@ronaldculley
2 weeks ago
Narc: "Are you going to be nice to me?"
Me: "Are you going to respect me?"
69 Likes
3 replies
@deevinityplayfairpremium
2 weeks ago (edited)
The Narc: No you have to respect me, I’m the important one. Soooo, are you going to be nice to ME! …
Please respect me, even you don’t have any reason for it. Please or I will make your life difficult! I want respect! Even I don’t CAN respect myself.. Please lower your self respect and be like me.
Are you going to be nice? Just start…
Me: I’m just a mirror. You will get, what you show! Just take a good look at yourself, without me having to do anything behind all your own!.
“Wisdom is key and the devil comes in many shapes.” Stay woke folks..
@san-rf3jo
13 days ago
Omg that’s all I hear if I try to discuss anything
@san-rf3jo
13 days ago
Sooooo fragile!!!!!
Narcissists Are Fragile
(And It Makes Them MORE Dangerous,
Not Less)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hZiTkPKCB0&t=1427s
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They want you to take good care of them and to be their punching bag at the same time.
Your Role In A Narcissist's Life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fUdg2Tfcj4
@goodgracious6364
4 years ago
Narcs actually think that YOU should feel honored that THEY have allowed YOU into THEIR broken lives!
@mysticat7652
3 years ago (edited)
"Your job in a narcissistic person's life is to take the blame for EVERYTHING. " Exactly.
@Feinrizulwur
4 years ago
They need to be served and want money and support. And they give trouble in return.
-
You can’t ever expect to reason with insanity.
The 3 Main Motivations of Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhI-9bvEyN4
@katherinegarratt7467
4 years ago
Thank you Shaman for this Podcast. I agree with you that the narcissist's fear is deep-seated. They are in a constant state of panic and need to assert control of others in order to feel secure. They seek personal power over others and their way of achieving this is to behave with sadism. Narcissists enjoy observing the suffering of others. They feel strong when their cruel remarks cause emotional pain for their victims.
Narcissists are manipulative and calculating. It is not unreasonable to say that they are always plotting. The narcissist lacks self-esteem and is extremely afraid of others which explains why they so desperately need to assert their power. The humiliation of others is an ego boost for the narcissist. This boost, however, never lasts and so the cycle of abuse continues.
@erikafreebird6449
4 years ago
Your explanation totally reveals why anyone goes crazy when involved with a narc. I never felt so suicidal as when I was in the vicious cycle with a narc. It's like they suck your confidence, common sense and sanity right out of you.
@odette8905
4 years ago
Absolutely agree. The narcissist is in pure survival mode, likely from pre-age 2 emotional under-development. Sad. But not our responsibility anymore. Thank you Little Shaman. Your work is phenomenal in this field - you are one of the few who really gets it, inside out.
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It’s a never ending process of dealing with a
5 year old child masquerading as an adult.
6 Common Behaviors of
Toxic People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci0plJZACkM
1. Gaslighting
2. Stonewalling
3. Blame-shifting
4. Projection
5. Deflection
6. Dog-whistling
-
:smee!:
-
It’s sad and pathetic, they will take their distorted views with them to their grave. No alternative views.
No considerations. No second thoughts. No compromises.
What Makes A Narcissist's
Arguing Style So Impossible?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDZETo79ASM
@fred.k9875
6 months ago
To argue with narcissist is a fruitless endeavour.
@rhododendrons_509
6 months ago
I didn't walk away to teach them a lesson - I walked away 'cause I finally learned mine.
@oklahomaisok
6 months ago
They argue in circles because they don’t have anything to back up their argument. So round-and-round we go.
@yukio_saito
6 months ago
They think of a compromise as losing a fight. So they become more antagonistic even if it's a subtle conflict. There's no such thing as a constructive conflict with them. It's always destructive.
@carparthero
6 months ago
The most despicable thing about a narcissist is that they know exactly what they’re doing and know it’s wrong. They simply don’t care.
Narc conversations (especially when you raise a concern) are more like contests than reasonable discussions. You must be defeated by any means necessary. Narcs aren't interested in mutual understanding and cooperation. They are only interested in domination, power, and control.
-
Just imagine being dishonest 24/7, all your life. Imagine being dishonest not only to others, but also to yourself,
all the time. In worst case, narcissism is like a semi
psychosis, it seems. It's scary.
Why You Can't Take A
Narcissist At Face Value
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9xAEERJegmU
-
The arrogance with these people is through the roof.
To them, everyone else is stupid.
A Narcissist's "Stupid And
Proud Of It" Syndrome
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa268I5uWj4
@yambapiano9473
2 years ago (edited)
“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you too, can become great”
- Mark Twain
@hopeinhumanity.
2 years ago
They get offended and tell you that you don’t know how they feel. It’s pointless to present facts because they think what they feel is the ultimate truth despite indisputable facts.
@rachelcarmina3958
2 years ago (edited)
I like the term "Ignorant and proud of it". I've had to deal with far too many people like this. The less they know about something, the more they pretend they know what they are saying. The "stupid and proud of it" has become the real pandemic in our world.
-
They’re not always mean. They can be super nice when
they want something from you!
Why Are Narcissists
So Mean?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJX04FNLYeQ
@shelley7975
2 years ago
They are notorious for going for the jugular vein, and then act like it was no big deal. The ironic thing is they think they are the nicest person in the room. When they reveal their ugliness you never look at them the same way again.
@HeeersEllery
2 years ago
The meanness was ultimately a Godsend for me. If it wasn’t for the meanness, it would have just been the gaslighting slowly driving me crazy and further into severe depression. The meanness was the catalyst that allowed me to say that I’ve had enough of being treated like sh!t and finally end the relationship.
@jod6cindy
2 years ago
A lot of them think their sarcasm, irreverence and bitchiness is attractive, or appealing. To me, it's an instant (and permanent) turn-off.
They absolutely know what they do is wrong because they
don't do it everywhere and around everyone. It's deliberate.Why Narcissists Use Selective MeannessThey know how to be nice in public. You see the rage in private. Avoid them like the plague.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAb8WWXeziU
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The narcissist actions never match their words.
The only sure thing about them is that they are natural,
compulsive liars. They will say anything to you
that benefits them.
WHAT THE NARCISSIST
MEANT WHEN THEY SAID…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la8RrLq_yoo
@jennifernewton4637
5 hours ago
EVERYTHING meant something different than what was said.
@marieeakin8534
2 hours ago
Narcs have hooks of hate (not love) & seek to have hosts carry their heavy baggage.
Be Wise & Be Well.
@warriormom5843
1 hour ago
Freakish how they all pull the same sick BS, isn’t it??
-
The gas lighting and projection lead me to taking
responsibility for behaviour that wasn't mine.
Why Do They Do That?
Common Narcissistic Behaviors & Why
They Do It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sEcK4bq2nk&t=141s
-
The more logical your solution is, the more they will
punish you for suggesting it.
Why You Can't Help
Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPmxw3s-Z3A&t=15s
@beth8275
1 year ago
People that have no business being in relationships are just beyond impossible.
@leepiper4621
1 year ago
When you're interacting with a narcissist, and there's conflict, you feel like you're in an alien world.
@Nancy-yw1rr
1 year ago
You can't help anyone who won't accept new information.
@byefelicia7736
1 year ago
TRUTH!! 1000%. There is NO reaching them. No matter how nice you say something, how genuine you are being, in how many different ways you TRY desperately to explain something or offer a solution, how much evidence you present, it does not matter. They will not accept it.
If they feel something, its fact to them. Period.
It is extremely crazy making and frustrating.
-
What will a narcissist do
when it becomes hard to control you?
When you slip beyond the narcissist's grasp, the ensuing chaos can be tumultuous and unpredictable. Lacking the ability to manipulate, a narcissist finds themselves adrift in unfamiliar waters. Their go-to strategies falter, leaving them bewildered and unprepared.
Accustomed to perceiving themselves as superior, narcissists are profoundly shaken when you defy them. Without the ability to synchronize their perception of past, present, and future, they focus solely on the immediate challenge you pose, perceiving it as an affront to their carefully structured existence.
In retaliation, they may resort to cold detachment or explosive anger—a tactic known as narcissistic rage. The silent treatment serves as a manipulative tool, intended to force you to reflect on your actions and conform to their desires. They play on your hopes for a harmonious resolution, manipulating your emotions until you relent, restoring their dominance.
Alternatively, their frustration might manifest in overt aggression. Through shouting and harsh accusations, they aim to break your resolve, coercing you to shoulder the blame and submit to their will. Such outbursts are not just expressions of anger but strategic moves designed to corner you into compliance, ensuring they remain in control.
By employing these severe tactics, narcissists close off avenues of dialogue and problem-solving, choosing instead to control the narrative of the relationship. Unable to process their vulnerabilities and too proud to expose their insecurities, they opt for dominance over genuine connection.
Thus, when a narcissist feels their control slipping, they perceive it as a loss of order in their meticulously managed life. They will persist in their punitive measures until their sense of control is reinstated, with you as their unwilling participant in this distressing cycle, subjected to their harsh treatment until they deem their authority reestablished.
___________________________________
Get frustrated! You are not supposed to make them haul you in. You should know this by now. It might get so bad that their frustration leads to rage. This of course is not meant to happen so early in the relationship especially if they have not yet secured you as a supply.
You having got a glimpse of their true self could lead to them feeling embarrassed about losing control of the situation and they could well back off for a while.
Don´t believe they regret what they have done to you. They don´t! They are just worried that they might have sabotaged valuable supply.
__________________________________________
I’m willing to bet you would get the Discard.
Narcissists don’t like you thinking for yourself or showing resistance. The only time I told mine “No, I won’t pay your rent “, I received my discard via Text. Basically it said thanks for nothing, I’d supported this guy for 6 months 100 pct financially. That’s what I got.
They must have total control. But fear not; they will hover awhile to see if maybe you’ve had a change of heart.
https://www.quora.com/What-will-a-narcissist-do-when-it-becomes-hard-to-control-you
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Why does a narcissist go
hidden when exposed?
They hide because of shame. They know they did something wrong, but they can't face or admit their actions. They're not mature enough to handle it, so they choose to hide instead.
They also get angry when they're caught or called out. They throw a temper tantrum because they don't like being exposed.
They use hiding as a form of punishment. They want the person they're hiding from to feel bad for knowing their secrets. They expect you to worry, call, text, and spend time looking for them. They want you to feel sorry for discovering the truth and miss them. They want you to panic and feel depressed because they believe their manipulations and mind games have created an addictive bond.
Narcissists are never truly alone. They always have someone to hang out with. They separate their friends into different groups so that their different personas don't cross paths and their fantasy world doesn't collapse.
Each group serves a different purpose for them. They have backup friends to run to when they need to hide from another group or person. They maintain different facades for each subgroup, and they manipulate and charm each group for their own benefit.
The narcissist is planning their escape. They will show their face again to test the waters and see how people react. If the incident or the fact that they disappeared is brought up when they return, they will have a huge destructive blow-up and leave again for an even longer time.
They want you to forgive them, never mention what happened, and be grateful that they came back. They want to feel like their manipulations and tantrums were successful and that they have control over you and your emotions. They want you to depend on them and accept any abuse they dish out.
They hide to forget. They rebuild their mask and boost their ego, so when they return, they don't remember how bad they felt. They feel self-righteous and confident again. The narcissist regroups, pulls themselves together emotionally, and feels powerful and in control once more.
_________________________________
Because that causes them narcissistic injury and it also makes them face themselves. If you have escaped this devil, I highly highly recommend you give your life to Jesus since He saved you from a murderer.
_______________________________
Shame.
They know they did wrong, they cant face or admit their actions. They cant be adult enough to face it, they wont change their behavior, so they hide.
Anger. They get angry for being caught, called out. The person is throwing a temper tantrum.
Punishment. They are punishing whoever they are hiding from for knowing their dark secrets. You are supposed to feel bad that they are gone. You're supposed to worry, call, text, spend your time looking for the person. You're supposed to feel sorry for discovering the truth and miss them.
You're supposed to panic and be depressed because of the trauma bond, manipulations, and mind games they have played should have caused your brain chemicals to make you have an addiction withdrawal.
The narcissist is never alone. The person is hanging out somewhere with someone, guaranteed. A narcissist lives in a way that they compartmentalize their groups of friends. They keep people separate so their fantasy world cant come crashing down.
They have backup friends. They do this specifically so they have a place to run to when they feel the need to hide from any other sub group or person. They have a slightly different persona for each subgroup. Each group gives them a type of needed supply.
Subgroups may be:
A) Family.
B) Friends with relationship partner.
C) Neighborhood bar girlfriend and buddies.
D) Street friends or criminal buddies, prostitutes, musicians.
E) Work associates or church group.
These subgroups don't know about each other and they are not to cross paths. They are safety nets, sources of supply, resources, entertainment, others they can charm and act grandiose and special, and to be manipulated.
The narc is plotting his escape. The narc will show their face again to test the waters. If the outing incident or the hide and seek game are brought up when they return as an accusation or blame, they will cause a huge abusive destructive blow-up and leave for longer.
They want you to forgive them, never mention it, forget all of it, feel so grateful that they returned that they feel like their manipulations and tantrums succeeded and they are in control of you and your emotions. They want you to be dependant on them. They know you will take whatever abuse they do to you and they are the ruler over you.
To forget. They are building their mask back up and getting their ego boost, so when the return they wont remember how bad they felt. They will be full of self righteousness and confidence. The narc has regrouped, pulled his/herself emotions back together and is feeling powerful and in control again.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-go-hidden-when-exposed
-
How do you spot
a covert narcissist?
Oh, my God! Where have you been my whole life?
I’ve never met anyone like you. I can’t believe how much we have in common.
You are nothing like my other ex’s.
They were so abusive. I even had to get a restraining order on two of them because they wouldn’t leave me alone.
Yea, I know. They were that crazy!
Are you serious? I love that too.
We have so much in common. I honestly think you might be my soulmate!
I know we only met last week, but I f*cking love you.
I can’t wait for you meet my friends. I mean, I don’t really have any, but I can’t wait for you to meet them if I ever get friends.
Of course I do Yoga.
I’m a spiritual guru.
Why do you think we connected so well?
It’s all about acceptance, awareness and forgiveness.
This is very important, make sure you remember those three words when you find out I’m married, and all the numerous guys on the side.
I tend to stretch the truth, and lie a little bit.
I mean, it’s small lies, but the more bonded you get to me is when the whole truth, and nothing but the truth will come out.
It’s gonna hurt, I’m not going to lie.
It will destroy you.
I’ll slowly let slip who I really am over time, just be patient. You won’t want to believe it, I know, but I can’t help myself. Every good quality I appear to have is what m I learned by mimicking people just like you. It’s how I deal with my shame and guilt of the evil that lies within me.
I’m very good at stirring up a reaction out of you. I mean, I’m damn good at it. Remember those restraining orders I told you about? Yep, you guessed it, I got them going real good. I’m kinda proud of myself. I know it’s sick, but we are all sick, right? I mean, you’re dating me. right? lol.
Makes me look like the victim doesn’t it? Isn’t it great how I can get people to act like crazed lunatics, react, and play right into what makes my body tingle with ecstasy, “Victimhood.”
But don’t worry, you are different than all the others. You actually put up with a lot more than they did. It’s why I LOVE YOU!
I know you think our sex is real, but you won’t realize how cold and distant I am until you get away from me. And let’s be honest. I’m kinda theoretical, right? I mean, I don’t seem like I’m all there, right? You have to remember it’s all about the performance and fake connection. Because nothing is real in my life.
But, here lies the problem. You will struggle to break free. It’s not like I put a spell on you. It’s just I’m good at what I do. And hell, I don’t even know I’m doing it. I’m attracted to your vulnerability, and kindness. There are millions of you roaming the earth, and I love it! It’s like a buffet of insecurities!
I really wish I was you! I wish I was anyone but myself, but I can’t be. It’s why I act like everything you like, I like. And all the kindness you see me attempting, it’s not because I’m nice, it’s because I need to appear nice.
It’s all about my “image” you asswipe.
Now enough about me.
What about you?
What makes you love an abusive prick like myself?
What makes you think you can change me when you can’t even change in you what attracted you to me.
That’s what I thought.
But hey, I love you.
I really do.
Do you love me?
*********************
_______________________________
Does it matter “what kind of covert narcissist” you are dealing with?
No two narcissists are alike, just like no two people are alike.
But they follow similar patterns, are possessed by similar mal-adaptive traits, and will use you as their self-regulating tool until you have nothing left.
Narcissists make you believe they have the world to offer you.
And once you have fallen for this charade, they take, take and take some more, until you have lost yourself being emptied out of who you once were.
Once you no longer recognise yourself, and the narcissist towers over the ghost standing in the place of the old you, they can move on to the next.
_________________________________
They're the either the hero or the victim of every single story that they tell.
This is true for all narcissists but with a covert they will most likely be the victim. They will portray this in a brave tremulous way, especially if it's a female with her lip quivering so that you can't help but want to protect her.
They're extremely passive aggressive.
The manipulation is off the scale.
They will send you text messages that are screenshots of something that you sent them to try to make their point rather than just f*cking spitting it out. You will get called abusive for basically telling them to say what they're trying to say without using manipulation. They literally can't quite understand how that works.
Because they always have to be in victim mode, they will get pissed off at you for something you did not even do, turn it into abuse in their mind and then ghost you for days to punish you while you're sitting there wondering what the f*ck is happening.
Then they will just dismiss it from their mind without the slightest concern for your confusion. If you try to bring it up you will get ghosted again or called abusive.
Eventually, in their victim mindset, they will just ghost permanently without any warning, usually by f*cking somebody else.
And that's about it. Unfortunately it's not any more complicated than that.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-spot-a-covert-narcissist
-
Is a narcissist
ever happy?
No, never.
They have this void inside. A black hole. They try to fill the void with supply while the black hole engulfs it, maintaining the void inside.
Imagine you're starving. You have all the food you ever need but you can only chew it but not swallow. This is a narcissist's plight.
They are desperate to satisfy the emptiness inside. Constantly needing supply after supply. Each time their need is only briefly met before needing re-supply.
They hope that the next supply will be the one to satisfy. It never is. They discard each one for the next. This is how the narcissist lives their miserable life.
They will never have what they starve for: The satisfaction of being whole. They can never be happy until that need is met. And for the unsuspecting supply, you suffer the wrath.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Is-a-narcissist-ever-happy
What are the signs that
a narcissist is miserable?
Are they breathing?
Narcissists are notoriously miserable within themselves, that is why they need to tear down others and make the chosen scapegoat MISERABLE. It takes away their misery even if only in the moment of seeing someone else suffer. It energizes them to see others suffer where it saps them into misery when others are happy!
Sorry, no sympathy on my end about “their misery”. This is just on point and factual about the INs of their mindset.
Their misery is self inflicted slights because they see themselves much more important than all others and if not treated as such 24/7, they go into their twisted thinking and hard head of nothingness, obsessing on “How dare thee not worship me?”.
“How dare thee think this moment is about them?”.
"How dare thee think about anything or anyone, but MEEEE?” and if that “anyone” DARE feel happy because of something in their life that it is important, then beware. You will get the narcs unsupportive, insulting, criticizing, gas lighting tear down wrath to bring you down which in turn put the focus off your moment and back onto them, even if it is negative towards their ridicule. It still gets you from a happy high, to a miserable low in your head trying to figure out 'what the HELL?'
Then they win. You are miserable.
They are happy for that moment!
There is no pleasing these tyrants. You may appease them in a moment, but its always fleeting and only momentary and away they go on to the next perceived nothingness slight into their miserable way of thinking.
Don't worry, its never anything you actually have done wrong, its just how they are hardwired and NO ONE CAN EVER make them TOTALLY HAPPY nor should anyone EVER make it their mission to try and do so. Its mental, emotional and phycological suicide to try and dedicate one's life to appeasing an un-appeasable narcissist.
Some people think because they are miserable within that we should give them a hall pass and feel sorry for their misery, but that's total and utter BS. We feel sorry for them even though they go out of their way to EXTREME measures to make us feel like SH!T?
Nah, they do it to themselves because the are ANGRY SELFISH ME-ME-ME DEMONS!
Their misery is self inflicted and there is no cure. Not medication, not therapy, not enough comfort from you to love away their misery!
Its just who they are and always will be!
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-signs-that-a-narcissist-is-miserable
-
What ten things make
a narcissist miserable?
Part One
1 – The Importance of Acknowledgment.
In fact, a lack of acknowledgment is a real threat to a narcissist. Indifference is even worse than hatred, as they would rather have a negative opinion than no opinion at all. Narcissists cannot stand it when they are not the center of attention, and they need to feel important and special. Therefore, avoiding them completely is often the best route.
2 – When People Speak Factually.
Their inability to absorb facts demonstrates their incompetence in approaching most adult interactions. Speaking factually throws them off-balance, as they are not skilled in the language of facts due to their tendency to lie and hide things.
3 – Resentment of Authority.
Narcissists have a strong resentment towards authority figures, as they see them as a threat to their inherent desires for power and control. They often have issues in professional environments, with reprimands for their behavior being a common occurrence.
4 - Rejection.
Being told NO and having it actually followed through is something that a narcissist despises. When someone denies them something, and they are resolute in their decision. It often triggers an angry response from the narcissist. Narcissists find it hard to understand why they would be refused, as they lack empathy and cannot comprehend what the other person is thinking or feeling. Furthermore, even if they attempt to comprehend, they refuse to accept this reality.
5 - Enforcing Boundaries.
Have you ever tried to establish limits with a narcissist? Most likely, they reacted in one of three ways: they either ignored you and dismissed your feelings, they acknowledged their error, promised to change, and then failed to do so, or they reacted with intense anger, threats, or even violence.
Narcissists cannot handle real consequences, and they are incapable of admitting when they are mistaken. Even if they recognize their error, they do not care. They frequently react excessively to boundaries and critical conversations as a means of intimidation to make you comply with their demands.
6 - Losing.
Narcissists have a reputation for being sore losers. They struggle to accept defeat, and when it occurs, they tend to lash out. They behave like young children who cheat during a board game and have dramatic reactions to losing. They may try to undermine the authority of the person in charge or humiliate the winner. Alternatively, they might feign indifference to winning or pretend to have let the other person win. In some instances, they may even claim victory after you've broken up with them!
7 - Public Embarrassment.
Narcissists cannot tolerate the idea of failure or public humiliation. They have very fragile egos, and if they believe they are being mocked or are not perceived as the expert or authority in a public setting, they will do whatever it takes to safeguard their ego.
They frequently resort to violent or emotional threats, try to out-do the audience, scream or yell, storm off in obvious anger, or laugh it off in public only to lash out later on loved ones. They may also fabricate lies about anyone who is an actual expert to divert attention away from their shortcomings.
8 – Expectations of Commitment.
Narcissists often struggle with commitment, despite believing they deserve complete loyalty from others. They tend to prioritize their own emotions, impulses, and desires in relationships, often disregarding their partners' needs. Unfortunately, some partners hold onto hope that the narcissist will change, despite the narcissist being in control of the relationship and able to change the rules to suit themselves.
9 - Vulnerability and Emotional Expression.
Narcissists may use cognitive empathy to pretend they are interested in others' emotions, but this is often manipulative. True emotional empathy involves putting ourselves in another's shoes, whereas cognitive empathy involves tapping into someone's emotions to gain access to their vulnerability. Narcissists may use false kindness and compassion to establish trust with their victims, but they dislike vulnerability and emotional expression, seeing it as a sign of weakness that they can exploit when their victim's defenses are down.
10 – When You Change The Status Quo.
Narcissists hate change when it’s out of their control. Staying in a relationship with a narcissist only perpetuates a vicious cycle of resentment and frustration.
If your aim is to make a narcissist miserable, the optimal course of action is to leave them. All other actions only fuel their manipulative tactics, leading them to believe that they still wield power over you. By choosing yourself and ending the relationship, you effectively demonstrate that they no longer have control over you.
Leaving a narcissist is the ultimate way to outsmart, overpower, and humiliate them. Walking away and building a life for yourself is the most effective way to get back at a narcissist.
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1.) Calling them out on their bad behavior because they don't want others to know how they truly are.
2.) Watching their every move. It makes obtaining side supply more difficult. It's like keeping an addict from getting high.
3.) Not giving in to their every selfish whim. Like not paying to go out to eat. They pout and spout off about how they never get anything they want but truth is they have more than anyone you know and most was given to them by you the one person they claim gives them nothing.
4.) Having to deal with any of your friends or family that see through their mask. They don't want you ever seeing or be talking to them because they might convince you other than the brainwashing love bombing they have spent so long doing to you.
5.) If anyone shows interest in you because they want you to feel you can't live without them and therefore no one else could ever want you. At least that's what they want you to think all while cheating on you constantly.
6.) Being told you are leaving due to their bad behavior. They will deny deny deny then rage when you don't buy it. Then they scramble to love bomb you to keep their lifestyle intact financially.
7.) Going no contact. Even if they are with another they still want to try to lie and use you as much as possible so if they can't contact you it irks them that a supply has been cut off.
8.) Tell them your feelings. They could care less. You are supposed to be there for them and their wants and needs without wanting anything from them in return. Like they are royalty and you should be glad to serve and accept any scraps and be happy with what you get and not ask for more.
9.) Buy anything for yourself. You should not be wasting your money on frivolous things for you. They see this as money they could have had for something for them no matter how dumb and unnecessary it may be it will always be more important than what you need.
10.) The fact that you are on this site educating yourself. They will see it also as a threat to their hard work brain washing you and will tell you how stupid and a waste of your time it is because they will tell you all of your problems with them are your fault. You will never be allowed to feel confident or empowered.
I could go on and on but there's 10 for now.
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#1. The truth. They hate the truth.
#2. Since everything is a game to them, and a matter of winning or losing, losing makes them miserable.
#3. Having expectations of them. If you want them to do it they won’t, and if you don’t want them to do something they will do it even more.
#4. Their fragile ego. They are easily offended, and it can be either real or imaginary. This often provokes them to take revenge, and punish you.
#5. Being confronted on their bad behavior. They will always blame you, and never take responsibility for their actions.
#6. Sacrificing for another. They are self centered and self absorbed. They do not enjoy giving unless they are looking for something in return.
#7. Relationships that hold them to any kind of standard.
#8. Sharing. They are like children who don’t want to share their toys.
#9. Appreciation…It’s just for them, not for you.
#10. Strong and confident people with good boundaries.
https://www.quora.com/Which-ten-things-make-a-narcissist-miserable
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What ten things make
a narcissist miserable?
Part Two
1. Seeing you happily enjoying your life: As the saying goes, “Misery loves company”. This truly applies to a narcissist. They are so unhappy with themselves, that they often cannot stand seeing others happy. What better way to fix this than to go destroy everything around them?
2. Revealing their true selves: If you have exposed the narcissist (especially to the public) did you know that you would cause great injury to their false personas? All the hard work they are doing to fool everyone around them can be gone in an instant if you reveal who they truly are. It is as if you shine a light in a room full of roaches....they scatter for cover.
3. Having NO supply: This is common with the aging narcissist. The more the narc ages, the more people just don't fall for their tactics anymore. To have supply is to thrive in life. If you take the supply away what does that make a narcissist? Absolutely nothing. Because they need supply to BE something.
4. Going no contact: When you go no contact, the narcissist is miserable knowing they can no longer have access to your supply anymore. Be aware that they are most likely scrambling for someone - new supply - to take your place if they haven't already.
5. When they cannot control you anymore: Narcissists LOVE to control everything about you. By having control over you this makes them feel powerful and superior in many ways. If you remove their control, you have essentially deemed them as WEAK and feeble. Go you!
6. When you discard them first: oh boy…there are times in the narcs life when THEY don't get to throw people away like garbage. If you discard the narcissist first, be prepared for the begging and pleading. They cry out in despair because they are alone in the cold...for awhile anyways.....
7. Your own identity and what makes you, YOU: Did you know that narcissists are extremely jealous people? They actually do not like who you are as a person. This is why they try to change you and tailor you to their needs. At first they make you feel special about your attributes, but it’s only because they wish to possess them for themselves.
8. You treat them how they treat you: I wouldn't recommend this approach because it is draining. Mirroring a narcissist is like playing Russian roulette; one of you is bound to catch the bullet. I made my ex narc absolutely miserable by treating him the way he treated me. I was very young and immature. In the end, I took a harder fall because narcs hardly experience remorse or feelings of empathy. He was indeed miserable until he discarded me.
9. You are more successful than them: again can be filed under “jealousy”. These people can't STAND you being more prestigious than they are! In fact, they attempt to even take credit for anything you achieve in life. The more successful you are, the more miserable they become. They need someone less than themselves to feel relevant. The narcs who prey on successful people just want to take it away from you.
10. Healing and moving on: Perhaps the biggest one on the list. When you heal from Narcissistic Abuse and begin to live again, this makes them filled with anguish. (Some haven't realized your transformation because they are occupied with someone else.)
Either way you're doing so good in life without them. Some narcissists might even re-idealize you (begin thinking of you as shiny and new like when they first met you) and try to come back. Do not ever let them come back. They don't deserve any part of you.
There surely are many other things that make narcs miserable in previous/following answers. These are just mine personally. Stay narc free!
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1/ Looking at them strangely when they tell a lie, and because it doesn't make sense, your face says it all.
2/ Not conforming to their every whim.
3/ Making them wait.
4/ Telling them when something really great at work has happened i.e. promotion, pay raise, etc.
5/ Questioning anything they say or do that does not feel authentic.
6/ Not forgiving them after they committed adultery.
7/ Calling them out on there BS..
8/ DOING really well, like purchasing a new house or car for yourself from really hard work and not letting them live there rent free.
8/ Talking to your really close friend about what's transpired and you just need to vent.
9/ Crying in front of them when they hurt you. That makes them miserable because they don't want to see it. Seeing you cry is a pathetic state us normal humans have no right to feel.
10/ THIS IS THE BIGGEST ONE OF ALL…
TELLING A NARC NO!!!!!! It does not make them happy at all……..
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1.) telling them no
2.) ignoring them
3.) telling them how much of a loser they are
4.) telling them how bad of losers their family is
5.) hanging out with people who have more than they do
6.) going places they want to go but can’t afford
7.) obtaining professional achievements
8.) getting hit on by people that are younger, better looking and drive a nicer car. LOL.
9.) spending time with your “loser” family that they despised for no reason
10.) hanging out with your “loser” friends that they despised
That’s the list off the top of my head.
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1. Narcissists hate when you do the opposite of what they want you to do. They like control, and if you don’t give them the power to be a “control freak”, then they’ll for sure be miserable.
2. Have you ever heard the saying, “Kill Them with Kindness”? That’ll help you a lot doing that. Narcissists hate how kind you act and it makes them feel even more insecure about themselves because they know they could never be on your level. Plus, they can’t use anything against you if you just act like they’re joking and not pay them any attention. Which leads me to another thing.....
3. Ignoring them! When you ignore anything a narcissist have to say, they’ll be upset, no doubt about that.
4. Narcissists may like using “love” as a manipulative way to keep their victims near, but they don’t like commitments. Sure, there are some narcissists who are married to their victims, but they get a rare chance in being able to treat others like they did you.
5. Surprisingly, narcissists don’t like shame. It’s crazy because they shame others into stuff, but they don’t like to be shamed or feel shamed for their behaviors and tactics used against people.
6. Remember when I said that narcissists love power? When it comes to getting a job or doing something that they enjoy, they want to be the very best at it. They want to be so good, that they’re better than everyone else. Which is never a good look.
7. When narcissists start trouble, they want everyone’s attention towards them like they’re an A-List celebrities or something more important than. If people don’t pay attention to him as much as he wants them to, he’ll be miserable.
8. As much as the narcissist loves to insult people for basically everything, he hates when he gets insulted/criticized himself. It brings out the insecurities and narcissists don’t like it one bit.
9. They don’t like feeling remorse. Usually when a person feels remorse about something, they apologize and change how they act and so on and so forth. But narcissists never change. When they do something wrong, they never want to take any accountability for it or they never apologize for it like a normal person. They always have to find something or someone to blame their behavior on.
10. Last but not least, Narcissists hate getting called out on their lies. They would rather you be dumb and stupid enough to constantly fall into their manipulative traps than to be smart and confident enough to stop them.
https://www.quora.com/Which-ten-things-make-a-narcissist-miserable
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What ten things make
a narcissist miserable?
Part Three
I am not going to list ten things — that number is arbitrary. I am going to list the ones I feel like are major.
1. Narcissists hate to lose. Most of us view interactions, work, life, etc, as a competitive (usually zero-sum) game. If you make us lose our game, we will get mad. This can be hard because you don't always know the rules or the object of their game. You are also likely to become a target if you are seen as an opponent.
2. Narcissists are envious. If you have something we don't, then you are winning.
3. Narcissists are extremely invested in our self-image and identity. If you challenge our beliefs about ourselves, we will usually react explosively. We can change our self-image, but it's a very sensitive topic for us. This may be because we often have less in the way of morals and connections to others to take pride in, so we take pride in our identities.
4. Some narcissists don't tolerate boredom well. We enjoy new experiences and variety in general. We can get bored from being alone, being with the same people or people who don't stimulate us, being in the same job, or even just not engaging in risky behavior (many narcissists are adrenaline junkies or risk takers). Most of us (at least me) seem to get our entertainment from people and social situations.
5. Anything besides ourselves. We can be fascinated by people or ideas, we can get into our hobbies or work. But at the end of the day, what most of us think about most often is ourselves. We generally want to talk about ourselves. We want others to talk and think about us. We are not concerned with the rest of the world, just how things affect us.
6. Lack of attention. I crave attention like the starving crave food. I will act out and hurt people just for attention. Positive attention is ideal, but I will definitely seek negative attention over nothing. And I am pretty typical for a narcissist in that way. Attention and admiration are the “narcissistic supply” that causes us to pursue relationships. We will go to great lengths to secure this supply. And there is never enough. The entire world could love me except for one person and I would be angrily asking why that one person didn't. I don't care what you want or what you really think. I don't care about your well-being. But if you give me attention, I will seek it out and hold onto you tight.
7. Things unrelated to narcissism. Depression happens to narcissists too. Other mental health problems are common as well. We can get scared or worry about our future just like anyone else. We can feel physical pain and have disabilities and medical conditions too. We are still people.
8. Our own behaviors and thoughts. We suffer from a mental illness. By definition we have damaging thoughts and behavior patterns. We are not classified as narcissists for society's purposes, but based on our own lack of success and happiness in life.
We are often hyper-critical of ourselves, entitled, selfish and cruel (even to our supply sources we want to keep around), we can be impulsive and short-sighted, we lack empathy and the ability to develop emotional connections with others, and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Those are the major things, and there are others that are extensions of these.
I also want to add that a lot of people say that narcissists are lonely, because we can't emotionally connect with others. I disagree. I don't have any drive to connect with others. I don't want to feel loved except that it usually provides me with attention and power.
I do want to warn you: it's generally not a good idea to try to make a narcissist unhappy. Often our own behaviors are plenty damaging to us. If you try to make us unhappy, our competitive nature will probably lead us to target you and seek revenge (which is often disproportionate). You are better off staying away from us and letting us ruin our own lives.
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1.) To beat a narc, you have to act like a narc. Ignore the narc; (s)he will hate that. Do the silent treatment like how the narc played you.
2.) Confront the narc that (s)he is narcissist. The narc will go into tantrum like a little spoiled brat.
3.) Show the narc you are happy after the break up. The narc will get really jealous because you're supposed to be destroyed after he or she just left you like trash.
4.) Do not chase the narc after the break up. (S)He will be curious, Narcissist: Why are you not chasing me? I am special. You supposed to be chasing me. You’re lucky I went out with you, you imbecile fool!
5.) When you find out the narc is cheating, you do the first move and tell the narc to F*ck Off, we are done. No contact, block all communications.
6.) Better yourself after the break up. Go to the gym, dress nicer, go out with friends the narc used to hate when you were still together and have fun.
7.) Throw a weekly party at your place with your friends after the break up. (After 6 months of no contact, my friends told me that my ex narc is messaging them on fb and told them that she misses the get together at my place). Narcissists get bored easily, I promised you the narc is already bored looking at the new shiny supply!
8.) Get a new girl friend (I picked her friend, OMG she was pissed!).
9.) Show the narc that (s)he is no longer in control and have no power over you. Show no emotion and ignore the smearing campaign. Let the narc look stupid!
10.) Take the narc's friends side after the break up. (He or she will f*cking hate that! It will show who really messed up the relationshit).
11.) Show the narc that your life is more interesting before he or she came to your life. The narc will realize who really has issues. The narc wont admit it though, but (s)he know who is trashed.
12.) After finding out the narc is cheating, (s)he will act like “FELAFEL U I have a new bf.” I am just using you now until I move in with my new supply. Please do not pamper the narc and act like it will change anything. The narc’s energy is already with the new shiny loving supply.
Do not baby the narc because you will just get a negative gesture or response. Let the narc do whatever the f*ck (s)he wants and say bye. I promise you, most of the supply they deal with are garbage. The narc will come back begging for you! Ignore that and move on. The narc will really hate that!
13.) Triangulation. If the narcissist and the new supply doesn’t get along or had a fight, the narc will attempt to suck you back in to make the new supply or you jealous.
Narcissist: "I made a mistake baby. After being with him/her, I realized that I really love you and I always think about you".
F that! Don’t fall for that $h!t and don’t join them; make them two triangulate. That will make them both look really stupid!
14.) Ignore the hoover. Narcissist: "I just want him or her to be happy, I prayed to God (s)he is in good hands".
F*ck that $h!t! That is all lies. The new supply is garbage that is why the narc is reaching out to you!
15.) Do not give them the pleasure to validate themselves that they are special. It will make them really miserable because they were so spoiled with their past exes and their family. Break the habit and you will not be forgotten in their f*cked up mind. They will think about you until death.
Narcissist: "How dare you! I don't like you anyway, I just used you!" or "You're so ugly, I just used you because you have money!". Or "You look good that makes me look good, but you are broke!"
16.) If you are already successful in life before you met the narc, continue to be successful and be happy with what you have. Narcissists hates when their partners are more successful, happy or doing better than them. This is one of the reason why they sabotage the relationshit!
17.) Once you heal and get your powers back, you will just laugh at yourself telling yourself how pathetic and low life losers they are. You might bump into them again in the future with a newer supply or they might hoover you again. But, you will be strong and you will not be affected with their BS dramas in life.
You will just ignore the narc. By then, you probably found someone you are waiting for, someone who will love you. Someone who doesn't have to wear a mask and future fake you. (My ex narc was upset when she found out her ex from 2 previous relationship got married. I was like "Huh? That is so weird". They don't like their exes to be happy because they cant be happy).
18.) And lastly, let the narc know that you know what his/her game is. The narc will fear you! If you do the above I mentioned then they won’t bother you anymore. They will be really miserable because they can’t control you anymore.
SORRY, I WROTE MORE THAN 10. THIS QUESTION GOT ME ALL HYPED UP!
Note: They are already miserable people and they will try to suck you in with their misery. Please don’t waste your time and energy with these toxic people. They want attention like a little kid 24/7. If you don’t give it to them, then they will create chaos and drama.
They will never change, because they used the same script with every victim and it works! That is the only thing they know; to manipulate and screw peoples lives. You are better off alone than to be involved with these evil creatures!
I know it is hard in the beginning of the break up because of the trauma bond, but stand your ground and move on. Time and loving yourself again will help you heal. Life is too short to be miserable like them. Enjoy life while you can.
https://www.quora.com/Which-ten-things-make-a-narcissist-miserable
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What ten things make
a narcissist miserable?
Part Four
1. Rejection: Narcissists have a deep-seated fear of rejection, and the thought of not being admired or valued can cause them great distress.
2. Criticism: Narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, and criticism can be a trigger for feelings of insecurity and vulnerability.
3. Loss of control: Narcissists thrive on control, and the thought of losing control over a situation or person can be incredibly distressing.
4. Being ignored: Narcissists need to be the center of attention and crave constant admiration, so being ignored or overlooked can be a source of great misery.
5. Being challenged: Narcissists often see themselves as superior to others, and being challenged or contradicted can be a threat to their sense of self-importance.
6. Feeling unfulfilled: Despite their sense of entitlement, many narcissists are not truly satisfied with their lives and may experience feelings of emptiness and boredom.
7. Lack of validation: Narcissists rely on external validation to feel good about themselves, so a lack of validation from others can be a source of misery.
8. Exposure of their flaws: Narcissists have a fragile self-esteem and a deep-seated fear of being seen as imperfect, so exposure of their flaws can be a source of misery.
9. Rejection from their idealized image: Narcissists often have an idealized image of themselves that they strive to maintain, so rejection from this ideal can be a source of misery.
10. Inability to manipulate or control others: Narcissists often use manipulation and control to maintain their sense of power and superiority, so being unable to manipulate or control others can be a source of misery.
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I am going to list these in no particular order and there are certainly more than 10 things that makes them miserable. I’ll list the first 10 reasons I was discarded or abused with the silent treatment (that was his favorite) and I swear I could not make this sh!t up.
1 —If you wrap Christmas presents too loudly- tape makes too much noise. (His family's gifts mind you —he carried on Christmas Eve night, then didn't speak to me the rest of night. Sulked upstairs all Christmas morning).
2 —If your 16 yr. old daughter who just started driving breaks down at 9 at night and calls her mother for help. He left the state for that one. I mean it was a work night and she should have just called a cab.
3 —If you make too much noise getting ready for work and disturb their sleep while they are unemployed and living in your home for free.
4 —If your grown child votes for the Democrat running for president. He didn't speak to me for at least a week.
5 —When they get beat at a card game you're playing with your parents. He moved out of State that time.
6 —If you disagree on the subject of grandchildren. If any of my children or his children had babies not of our race he would disown his own kids and grandkids and leave me if my kids dared to love another color. I actually thought that was a joke (very early on in the relationship). I believe that was my first time discarded.
7 —When I caught him on a dating site —I then created an account and messaged him on it (we were living together at the time), he told me to take my profile down immediately and left me because he said I was looking at other men.
8 —If any person of the opposite sex talked, looked at me, it was because I had a v-neck tee shirt on and brushed my teeth before we went out. I got the silent treatment more times than I can count for that.
9 —If any of my children dared bring any friends into my home. Again I was left for that several times.
10 —When you dare call them out for sexually abusing you while you are sleeping. (Final discard- that came from me).
This was interesting reflecting on this. I cannot even fathom where my head was when I tolerated all this f*cking nonsense. There are at least 20 more things I could list. I'm almost embarrassed to hit the submit button, but if this can help just 1 person out there: RUN! I will take the chance.
Life is beautiful and whole once you are free from these f*cking arrogant, ignorant, abusive, lying, stealing, cheating, mean people. They don't heal or get better because they are f*cking perfect just the way they are. Just ask them (I shouldn't say all of them and I do apologize for that. I can only speak of my ex).
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Oh, it's quite satisfying to think about being able to make the Narcissist miserable, isn't it?
It's not easy to make someone who's already pretty miserable, like the Narcissist, even more miserable, but it can happen.
10. Giving them what they want. Oddly enough, the more you do what they want, the more annoyed they become. This is because they always need to feel superior and your compliance won't match their insatiable hunger for attention.
9. Being too independent. Narcissists can't stand it when you prioritize your own needs over theirs. They need you focused on them all the time.
8. Not giving them what they want. This might seem contradictory to number 10, but that's how these Narcissists operate. If you don't give in, they might resort to manipulative tactics like giving you the silent treatment.
7. Not putting up with their nonsense. If you call them out on their behavior, they'll fight back to regain control. They might try everything to get you back in line.
6. Checking their facts. Narcissists often don't deal with reality the way we do. If you start questioning their statements and actions, they'll get annoyed and uncomfortable. They really don't want to be caught.
5. Using the Grey Rock technique. If you can't cut them out of your life completely, you can still ignore their manipulative behavior. This usually makes them ramp up their tactics to get your attention.
4. Holding back attention. Simply not treating them like they're super important can drive them crazy. They might try to involve others to make you jealous.
3. Making them feel inferior. If you achieve something they haven't, like a promotion or a new car, their fragile ego will get hurt. Jealousy is a big thing for them, and they might try to belittle your accomplishments.
2. Exposing their true self. If you straight-up tell them that you see through their facade, they might blow up in anger or collapse emotionally. They might even accuse you of being a Narcissist.
And the number one way to really get to them...
Going No Contact. This really gets on their nerves. Ignoring their attempts to draw you back into their games and manipulations bothers them BIG TIME!.
And that's it – game over!
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There are a lot of things that narcissists cannot stand that make them miserable, but there are three things that I would like to focus on. Things that provoke certain emotions within them and make them very angry; it makes them feel like they need to do something. And these 3 things are:
1. When they can’t get a reaction out of you.
The narcissist cannot stand it when they can’t get a reaction out of you. They always have to win and they have to have the last laugh, so they want you to fail. They want you to be miserable. It gives them satisfaction and makes them feel better about themselves. But when you move on and become a better person, it makes them really angry. Narcissists hate it when you ignore them and try to do better with your life.
There’s nothing they hate more than losing control. They’re very envious and jealous, so they use people to regulate their self-esteem. And if they cannot control you, they cannot control their own emotions. Even if you go no contact, they will still be watching to see if you have moved on.
They will want to see if you are still hurting or if you have managed to overcome everything that they put you through. It gives them great satisfaction to know if you are still suffering, and it makes them feel better about their own lives. But if you’ve moved on and you’re doing good, it makes them really angry.
2. When they feel like someone is stealing the show.
When someone else attracts more attention and praise, and when they feel like someone has taken their spotlight, the narcissist cannot give them the praise that they deserve, so they will become bitter and resentful towards them. They will undermine them and target their self-esteem. They will try to change the way that people perceive them and will do anything to bring that person down to their level.
Narcissists especially hate it if someone steals your attention away from them because they want all of your attention, and they get very jealous when they see someone else receiving it from you.
They feel entitled to all of your time and attention, and they think that anyone else is just not deserving of it, or they will try to make you think that you are not deserving of anyone else, as though they’re the only ones who will tolerate you.
3. When people don’t validate their false self.
When people don’t validate their illusions, when they don’t go along with their false narrative, and when they don’t agree with their proposals or ideas, they see it as rejection and they cannot take No for an answer- that is an offense to the narcissist.
It causes narcissistic injury, which will be followed by narcissistic rage because, in their twisted minds, it’s unfair. Narcissists believe that they have a right to whatever they want, just because they want it.
So if you deny them of anything, something must be wrong with you. You were trying to make their lives difficult or inconvenient, so now you must pay the price and you deserve to be punished because, in their minds, you have no right to tell them No.
But if you do, they will show you every reason why you are wrong, why you are beneath them, and why they are superior to you, as though they are greater than anything that you have to offer, as though they’re better than you. And when you say No to a narcissist, it puts a boundary between you and them, and they do not like that.
Narcissists want measurement and want to make boundaries for you so that they can place you within certain limits, and keep you under their control, but they do not want you to have any boundaries for yourself.
They need to have access to their supply at all times. They need to be able to have and do whatever they want, whenever they want. And they cannot understand the concept that they cannot always get what they want.
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Narcissists are made miserable by the smallest and oddest of things. You will be so shocked that they don’t need money, wealth, the best looks nor the best body.
These ten things make narcissists very miserable:
1.Being intelligent
Narcissists fear intelligent people, because intelligent people have very smart ways to deal with things. They are awkwardly sharp and their sense of reaction to things is never what anyone expects. Narcissists do not like things which confuse their understanding. They think that everyone is so easy to deal with.
2. Being wonderfully weird
Following from the point above, narcissists get really miserable when someone was supposed to cry but they are not. They are instead laughing, smiling, joking or just kissing. Being wonderfully weird makes narcissists get confused and they feel so bad inside. You were supposed to cry, not have fun.
3. Being brave
There is nothing greater in life than to face that fear which has always been disturbing you. A narcissist will never disturb you again if you put your foot down.They will approach you with more respect and care since you have shown how courageous you can be. Do not let them get the best of you. Be brave.
4. Fighting back
Yes, why should someone hit on your woman when you are there? Why should some trick seduce your husband as if you aren’t there? Put that trick down. Narcissists fear someone who can fight back. They know that you're property and anything else that is yours is a not-to-be-messed-with stuff. So, tell off that loser.
5.Laughing at their whims
Narcissists try too hard to make us sad but, when we just laugh at their efforts, they get so pissed. This is my favorite. I laugh and laugh when they try their ills on me and this makes their self esteem diminish fast. Remember point number 2? Be weird when they expect you to cry. Laugh instead.
6. Being happy and very happy indeed
The best killer to a sad soul is laughter and happiness. Try it today. When narcissists see you happy, they cringe at the thought. They know that all they have been doing has not fazed you and that you are just okay. Being a happy victim is the worst thing that can be shown to a narcissist. Be happy. Your joy is yours. Own it!
7. Showing love
When love comes in, hate goes out. Love those sad people so much that they feel embarrassed to hate you. Many women that are narcissistic with men, want those men and the reverse is also true. So, maybe someone has a crush. Love those people and see how that changes them to be kinder. You don’t have to date them, but you can flirt with them.
8.Staying focused
Remember number 1? Narcissists hate an organized, intelligent and responsible person. Usually this is a very focused person. They would prefer someone that is obviously going to fail, so that they can belittle and make fun of. So, do not give them that pleasure. It is time for you to be very focused. Start today.
9. Being successful
Following from the point above, narcissists fear a successful person, because they know that this person is worth lots of cash, or good health or good education. Success is defined in many ways. They fear that. They fear that people respect you and that you are inspiring. They fear that women crush on you and men get attracted to you. They fear that you are the best in your class and very important at the work place and in Life.
10. Having a "Never Say Die" attitude
No matter what they say, do or try, they will see me again and again and again. Yippe-Kae-yay! Like Bruce Willis on Die Hard.
Narcissists fear when we don’t give up. We are like weeds at the edge of a river bank, always coming back for more.
Let us be tough as nails.
Narcissists will always be saddened by these things.
https://www.quora.com/Which-ten-things-make-a-narcissist-miserable
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How do I write some powerful words to my ex-narc?
Send them a “Get Well Soon” card.
Sign it “Sincerely, Reality.”
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-write-some-powerful-words-to-my-ex-narc
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Do narcissists just need someone to understand them and can handle them?
Absolutely not.
Narcissists don't want your understanding. Narcissists want your obedience, reaction, and tolerance towards their behavior.
Narcissists want someone who will take their nonsense without complaining.
Understanding happens in healthy relationships.
Not in relationships with narcissists.
They don't have genuine problems that you should understand.
Narcissists create problems to make you feel bad and to get your reaction, so there is no understanding.
Narcissists don't want you to handle them; they just want you to follow them.
Narcissists want control, authority, and power in relationships.
Your job is to obey whatever they say.
Being in a relationship with narcissists is like sacrificing your worth, respect, needs, desires, choices, opinions, soul, mental health etc., just to make the narcissist feel good about themselves.
It's pretty f*cking pathetic. Give them NOTHING. Better yet: Avoid them at all costs.
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No.
A true narcissist does not want to be understood.
If they are understood, they can't control that source/supply.
What they want is a supply of adoration, confusion, chaos and a group of people they can control. The last thing they want is to be understood. And you can't “handle” a true narcissist.
They will beat you at manipulation every time.
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No.
Narcissists WANT people to think they understand and can handle them, so they can manipulate and control them.
Narcissists are incapable of change The sooner you understand and accept that, the better the rest of your life will be. It's nice to daydream about saving someone you love from themselves, but narcs never think there's anything wrong with them and will blame you for trying.
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No they can’t be “ALONE” with themselves that’s why they will take “ANYTHING”, even a downgrade if they must!
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No.
Narcissists want:
Other humans to be their slaves every single day.
Slaves, as in not having opinions, goals or desires. As in blind loyalty. As in depending on the narcissist for the very breath of life.
Be available when their poison comes out of their mouth via devaluation, judgement and criticism.
Be available when they wish to rage and complain about imaginary issues and things.
Be ok with how they wish to treat you, even humiliation in public.
If there is one single person on planet Earth that is happy to serve a vile human being as this, then sorry but you must really hate yourself and are no doubt moving towards your own suicide.
_______________________________
Narcissists just need to understand that if they grew a pair, and actually went all the way with their superiority clownplex, they’d delude themselves into thinking that they are the only ones worthy of their own company.
Instead, we get the most detrimentally delusional, needy little sh!ts that physical reality will permit.
Narcissists with handles is a good idea though.
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Do-narcissists-just-need-someone-to-understand-them-and-can-handle-them
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:motorbikeride:
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:jester:
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:ni:
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This applies to everyday...
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Jill Biden Ripped by
Biden Donor
Slammed with 1 Brutal Accusation She Didn’t See Coming
By Mick Farthing
July 2, 2024
After Joe Biden crashed and burned in last week’s debate, many liberals are asking him to step down. Many Democrat strategists are right now, no doubt pestering the Biden campaign to get him to quit the race. If Biden does, there is a chance they can salvage the 2024 Election.
But so far, the Biden campaign has refused to admit Biden is too ill to run for president.
One of the most vocal proponents for Biden staying in is his wife, Jill Biden. The first lady refuses to admit that something is wrong with Joe. Despite living with him, seeing him every day, she continues to push for him to stay in the election. Now, a top Democrat donor is outing Jill’s real motive.
From Daily Wire:
Billionaire Bill Ackman, who has reportedly donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to Democrats like former president Barack Obama, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, and Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg, blasted First Lady Jill Biden for her apparent refusal to consider her husband stepping down from being the 2024 Democratic presidential nominee…
Ackman took to X to post his reaction to Biden staying in the race. He wrote:
“It is becoming increasingly clear however that the fault lies with @FLOTUS Jill Biden. FL Jill Biden becomes irrelevant the moment her husband is no longer president. No more Air Force One. No more glamorous life. No more White House dinners for dignitaries. No more being treated like a queen when traveling the world.”
If there is anyone who should be urging Biden to step down, it should be his wife. Jill Biden knows better than anyone else that Biden is not well. Yet she pretended like he did a great job after the debate. She and Hunter Biden refuse to admit that Biden is too ill to be president.
Bill Ackman, a billionaire who has donated to Democrats for years, is outing why Jill Biden is doing this. He claims that Jill Biden will be “irrelevant the moment” Joe is no longer in office. She will no longer be able to fly on Air Force One. And she will not enjoy the “glamorous life” she has right now.
Other pundits have said much the same thing. That Jill Biden relishes the power and attention being the first wife gives her. They say she is unwilling to get her husband to quit so she can keep enjoying these luxuries.
If so, I can’t imagine an eviler thing to do to a sick man. Even outsider observers know Biden is suffering from some kind of cognitive decline. His wife would know better than anyone else. Yet, she is not doing what you’d expect a loyal wife would do, encourage Biden to quit for his own well-being. Instead, she is pushing an obvious lie that he is fine, to put herself first.
Does that sound sickening to you? Does it sound shockingly immoral? You wouldn’t be the only person to think that.
Key Takeaways:
>Big Democrat donor Bill Ackman accused Jill Biden of forcing Joe to stay in the race for her own benefit.
>Ackman said that Jill refuses to admit Biden is ill because of the perks she gets from being the first lady.
>The overwhelming consensus after the debate is that Biden is not fit for office; Jill Biden refuses to admit this and wants Biden to run.
https://pjnewsletter.com/democrat-donor-rips-jill-biden/?utm_source=tpi&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TPI07032024WUC
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Of all the narcissistic tactics used against you, which would you say has had the most profound negative affect on your well being?
From: Sherry Kopack <auntb5208@yahoo.com>
To: m86thecat@yahoo.com <m86thecat@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, January 15, 2024 at 10:15:10 PM PST
Subject: Options/eviction
Attention, Ronald Culley;
When I saw you on the 6th of January, 2024, you had received an eviction notice, which will be carried out if you don't accept my offer by the 30th of January, 2024.
I had offered to pay your moving expenses, and to also pay your property taxes. I'm letting you know that the total cost of the moving expenses and the cost of your property taxes will NOT exceed $3,000.00...I will pay you what ever is left after the move is completed, which will be done by February 6th, 2024. We can both sign an agreement to this offer.
Keep in mind, that by accepting this offer, your move must be completed by February 6th, 2024. This offer will be void on midnight, January 30th, 2024, and the money that would have gone to help you will go to an unlawful detainer, instead. To be delivered to XXXX San Bernardino Ave.
Sugarloaf, Ca. -92386-
Sherry Kopack
https://www.quora.com/Of-all-the-narcissistic-tactics-used-against-you-which-would-you-say-has-had-the-most-profound-negative-affect-on-your-well-being-1
Talkative Tuesday with Special Guest Ron Tello
Arkansauce🔧
1.2K subscribers
381 views Streamed 4 weeks ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4SCqkWiV1M
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They want you to love them but they sh!t on you in return.
How Narcissists Respond
When You Don't Care About Them Anymore
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv-tUGNt7_U
@teyonna3844
1 hour ago
The more I kept giving the narcissist a chance, the worst it gets. I have 0 fcks to give to a narcissist.
@AngelEyes-xm7el
5 hours ago
I did give him another chance. Huge mistake. Now my grown kids were told lies from their dad. We are now estranged. Living homeless but a minister is trying to help me. Yes the scars are deep. Thanks for a great chat.
@geraldpleasant7733
2 hours ago
It a waste time with a narcissist plain and simple.
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:plane:
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Page 21 :grouphug:
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Do narcissists know or
realize they're narcs?
Narcissists, sadly, are a shallow shell of a person. They only exist by deluding themselves into believing they are better than everyone else around them. They are so pumped up by the people they snare into their snakepit with lies, manipulations and occasional intermittent reinforcement of a follow through on something they promised they would do for you, that keeps you bound to their promise of good things to come..."Future Faking".
No, they do not know or care to see the truth about themselves. They only care to hear that they are the most wonderful person in the Universe and are the smartest cookie in the room and will repeatedly tell you how lucky you are to be in their fold.
Of course they are delusional.
Your luck will come into play when you get out of their toxic clutches. They only see themselves as perfect, as smart and as a winning human being. You better never contradict them on this either if you want to keep your head on straight. They will slander you, tell lies about you and even if you do give them what they want to hear, it is never enough.
They will be dismissive to you.
Always DISSmissive. Ask Ron Tello about Sherry, he'll tell ya!
What a narcissist knows is how to con people, how to pretend they are better than they are, richer than they are, smarter than they are and more clever than anyone they know. They are all ego and no intellect. They create chaos and they are masterful gaslighters.
They will never allow themselves to see themselves as who they are.
So, the answer is NO.
They are unwilling to see the truth about who they are.
They can't.
An important brain function was not created as they were growing up. They are missing the link. There basically is no hope that they will ever change. In the words of George Harrison, “Isn't it a Pity, how we make each other bleed?…Isn't it a pity?”.
_________________________________
No, they don’t because they don’t really believe anything is wrong with them.
But I will say that they do know right from wrong and everything that they do to hurt people is done intentionally. This is why they go out of their way to lie and cover up the truth.
This is why they discard you or ghost you once you rip off their mask. Some people believe the narcissist creates a “false self” during their childhood in order to be safe. Hell, I disagree. It’s not that the narcissist wears a mask to feel safe, the mask is there to prevent you from seeing who they truly are as horrible creatures.
If they were unaware of their doings then what’s the purpose of telling endless lies to hide the truth, discarding the other person/family or going ghost in relationships once the mask is removed?
No, they don’t know that they are narcissists because they think that they are right and always try to play the victim. They feel nothing is wrong with them but everything is wrong with you. They are very childish and have immature ways that remind you of an angry little child who is upset with you for not becoming the mommy/daddy that they’ve always wanted.
They live their lives eternally wearing a loaded diaper. You can smell it but you can't change it.
___________________________________
It’s very easy to know if you are Narcissistic. Do you have feelings? (Narcissists don’t)
Do you care about people close to you? (Narcissists don’t)
Do you lie constantly and cheat on your significant other as often as you can?
Do you try to make your significant other feel bad about himself/herself?
Do you use gaslighting, triangulation and nonsense to confuse people that are close to you?
You get the picture now, right?
Only Narcissists do those things. Us regular folks don’t.
And to answer the other part of your question, I truly believe they know exactly what they are doing but THEY DON'T CARE. They get off on it. It's their Magic Elixir of SUPPLY. It makes them feel superior to you. They are sick people.
Diagnosis for you: RUN!
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-or-realize-theyre-narcissists?no_redirect=1
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"They lost the privilege of being in your life."
How to Separate Yourself From A
Narcissist & End The Relationship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVTBfPpz3yE
@shawnadeyo
4 years ago
You don't realize how peaceful your life can be until you get rid of the narcissist for good. You may even feel bored for a while and think that you miss the narc but stay away! That feeling will pass and you will be so thankful for getting out of that toxic mess that was NEVER a relationship. It was you who wanted a relationship. All they wanted was someone to fulfill their needs. And you were it. As soon as you stop doing what they want you to do, then you become their #1 enemy.
@somebodysfalling
5 years ago
“Human Crazy Glue” ...best description I’ve heard in a long time for understanding how difficult it is to shake them and break away. They will pathetically plead to keep you and to change, only to turn around and punish you ten times harder than before because you had the “audacity” to think you deserve not to be controlled by them any longer.
Run and do not look back. It’s much more peaceful sleeping on a bare floor far away than to give them one more opportunity to hurt you, to steal from you, to hit, scream, throw rocks, try to jump out of your moving car while you’re driving, try to run you off the road while they’re driving, on and on...
Their level of crazy when emotionally injured knows no bounds. They will burn it all down, killing you and themselves in the process if you let them. You can stay on the crazy train and watch as they sink the whole damn ship, drowning right with you. Or you can simply grey rock them until they limp away. Do not feel guilty for saving yourself.
@bybyana26
4 years ago
When I tried to break up he got on his knees crying that he will commit suicide! He did that several times he’s still alive! Don’t believe them! F*cking COWARD!!
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:tello: "Truth be known...I am a SCOOTER NARC. I showed it on YouTube".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1edu34umzE&t=4034s
Thomas Mess
Mini bike
Shane Rockbass
Hell yeah brother lol
Kristina W.
That's smaller than my Hondamatic.
WVU Earl
Love it great bike.
Doyle Coody
Hey two wheels is two wheels.
Maryann Gambino
That's it! I'm getting my pink Vespa.
Seventh Dimension
Hey if it works for you, you're good brother! Respect!
Ronald Culley
Thankyouverymuch!
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Narcissists weaponize confusion against people. When they make you feel out of balance they think they won. It is sad. There is no way to communicate with someone who makes everything into a power struggle.
Stop Trying To Outsmart Narcissists
(Intelligence Is NOT The Key!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VToZHsx2A_k
@eagleeye2300
22 hours ago (edited)
Trying to understand crazy will make you crazy. Forget resolution....Heal by acknowledging that you got duped, you got used, you got betrayed and injured, and MOVE ON.
And...beware the re-test. Until you change from the inside out...the narcissists will keep coming. You have to accept, for your survival, that for the narcissist this is all a game and more importantly...that they want you fatally disabled mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
You have attributes that they do not...And therefore if you won't give over to them in subservience (which will escalate constantly...) then you must be destroyed. This is fact. It will NEVER change.
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So simple! So powerful! NO is a complete sentence.
Narcissists & The Power of No
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy-q0DIhlO0
@debraanchante3661
2 years ago
It sounds so simple to just say no.. but it’s not that simple. Some narcissists are abusive if you say no. It’s hard to stand up for yourself when you know what’s coming if you do. It’s still a choice, but not much of one. The best thing to do is RUN.. that’s what I finally did.
@thelittleshamanhealing
2 years ago
It is definitely not easy to say no in these situations; most narcissists are abusive in some way. It's absolutely true that the healthiest choice in these situations: is usually choosing to say NO to the relationship and / or to interacting with this person.
This video is not saying we should or shouldn't say no to narcissists, though. That is up to each person in each individual situation. It's really about understanding that you have the power to do so.
@ua2381
2 years ago
It's like anything where you take back your rights. It involves summoning up all your courage. If you truly are in danger the better choice is not to poke the bear, but to use that courage to leave.
Then use your courage next time in the beginning of recognizing a narcissist and say, "No!" Practice that courage and your ability to set boundaries by saying, "No!" to future narcissists. Practice your boundaries. Chances are you'll run into narcissists even after you've left one.
It takes summoning courage but the rewards are astronomical. So if you feel you can't safely say it to the one who has already taken so much from you that's okay. Just practice that skill with any future narcissist you encounter.
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The Little Shaman
Sunday RePlay Marathon: Masterclasses
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5oOVpfWPXs
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5 Unusual Actions Only
Sigma Males Do
Sigma males are known for their strong and bold personas, characterized by traits that often seem unusual to others. These distinctive personality traits set Sigma males apart, defining who they are.
With their distinctive and bold traits, Sigma males often engage in behaviors that seem odd to others. They are independent thinkers who prefer solitude, embrace challenges, and prioritize personal satisfaction. Their unique habits may confuse people, but they stay true to themselves.
Let’s go over 5 unique actions that are worth understanding. So let's dive into the video and explore them further.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WStLtjaBAyg
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How Narcissistic Evil
Corrupts Your Goodness
Some narcissists are so committed to dominance that they become evil, unable to see your humanity. When this happens, their attitudes and behaviors can have a corrosive effect on you. You can't allow that to happen. Dr. Les Carter tackles this difficult topic by highlighting ways to combat the narcissist's desire to corrupt you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtwSrXZKyyo
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.
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:tello: "This is a BIGGIE with me. The root of her evil in a whinge".
Why does a narcissist repeatedly say you don't love me?
Reverse psychology.
I tell you you don’t love me, you do your best more to prove me you do. I get more out of it.
____________________________________
Because they flip everything. You don’t love me means I don’t love you. You are crazy means they are crazy/paranoid/cheating… See it now? Their A.I. Hive Mind is reversed from ours.
_______________________________________
Narcy says “you don’t love me”. Why?
There are a few reasons why. First, a narcissist does not realize that other people do not think the same way that he does. Narcy does not love “a person” but rather how that person makes him feel about himself. Narcy doesn’t realize that what he experiences as “love” is any different from what others experience.
But Narcy isn’t entirely wrong either. We did not fall in love with Narcy at all. (Or anyone else for that matter) We fell in love with the way we were being treated and how that made us feel about ourselves. We associate those feelings with THAT person. Narcy never makes that connection.
We dont fall in love with someone who starts off hating us and abusing us do we? Nope, we sure as hell don’t.
It really bothers Narcy that nobody sees “him”, and all they really see is how he treats them, and what he “gives” them. To him, that makes love “fake”, and a “lie”, a false construct.
And if I had to make an educated guess based off off of my own experiences, its THAT very concept that kicks off all the nonsense…the mind games, the little tests to see how you respond, the devaluation, the abuse. All of it.
And he doesn’t care about “the love you feel” because he has learned that all he needs to do to “replace you” and that “fake love” is to repeat the process of “treat them well and make them feel good about themselves” with someone else and BAM there's that big L Word again. Its all so easy. Too easy. And we wonder why they think its a game?
Its a game to Narcy because he cannot feel the same things that you do. And he cannot see “you” anymore than he believes you “see” him.
He cannot “relate” to your emotions because he cannot experience them for himself to understand that love is not a lie, or some false construct. Its a very real and powerful force of nature.
______________________________________
Personally (although I am not a professional with training in this area), I think that people with narcissist personality traits have an enormous need to hear how important they are — and especially how important they are to their target (you).
This kind of validation is so necessary that they will continually badger you to say it over and over again. So by saying “You don’t love me!”, they trigger you into professing your love for them.
______________________________________
Part of the answer is most likely because you don’t adulate them like you used to. You stopped saying “ you are so amazing” and switched it up to “I love you”.
That is offensive to an adulation whore who doesn’t even understand what love is. They just know they hate it. Like advanced calculus.
The other part, for my answer at least is…
Because there is nothing there that is worthy of love.
They know what they are. What they’ve done.
They are wormy with deceit, and have slathered their souls in sin.
They’ve seen to this by embracing only selfish instinct, and never nourishing their soul. Never cared to give, and bask in the glory of our intended brother and sisterhood.
They’ll think even less of you if you insist that you love them.
Might even think YOU are delusional.
Quit poking them where it hurts.
_________________________________________
It means he/she wants more 'proof' of your absolute adoration and loyalty to THEM and ONLY THEM.
It also means he/she wants the undeniable 'right' to do or say whatever he/she wants, whenever he/she wants, with whoever he/she wants, treat you any way he/she wants, and all of this with your 'total support' as 'proof' that you 'love' them.
It means he/she wants you to 'try harder' to 'prove' that you love him/her and ignore the fact that by the SAME STANDARDS of your 'proving love', he/she is OPENLY 'showing' that he/she has absolutely no 'love' for you.
__________________________________________
It’s kind of like they need the other person to keep proving it to them. Or because the other person made them feel a certain way so they feel offended by that person even though it’s a person who is supposed to care about them. So the narcissistic person might feel this ‘bitterness’ or almost like a childish type of anger. This is usually more with vulnerable narcissism.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-repeatedly-say-you-dont-love-me
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How can anyone treat someone like this and be human? This is such cruel BS. That is sociopathic.
Why Narcissists
Hate and Love You?
The Paradox of Love and Hate: Why Narcissists Display Both.
Have you ever wondered why narcissists seem to oscillate between loving and hating you? What drives this contradictory behavior and how does it impact your emotional wellbeing?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pm84SIws3FU
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It's a really hard pill to swallow, but it's true, they do not care if you live or die....
The Narcissist Doesn't Care About You!
You mean nothing to them. The narcissist doesn’t care about you and they never will. Even though they love bomb and try to convince you they love you, the narcissist doesn't care about you because the only person they truly care about is themselves.
They don't care if you are happy and they also don't care if you are upset. The narcissist and lack of empathy they experience doesn’t allow them to be able to care about your emotions and experiences, good or bad.
Did the narcissist ever really like me, though? If the narcissist is no longer love bombing and starts to use their narcissistic punishment tactics, you may wonder if they ever really liked you or if it was all a lie.
Does the narcissist love me or does he really not like me? Does he not like me anymore because of something I did or for some other reason? More importantly, did the narcissist ever really like me? If you question can a narcissist care about others then you likely already know the answer to that question.
The narcissist isn’t caring about you now and they also won’t care about you in the future. You mean nothing to them when you no longer serve as a benefit to them. The narcissist doesn't care about you as a person and only cares about you when they need to control and manipulate you so they can use you in the future.
The relationship with a narcissist is a toxic relationship. Their abuse, but also their love bombing, is part of the control tactics of the narcissist and the way in which they protect against narcissistic injury and narcissistic collapse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3P6YShRCu4
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They always have a ready lie or excuse to shut you down. Almost like they KNOW when they screw up & are just waiting for you to bring it up!!
WHY NARCISSISTS WANT YOU TO KEEP YOURSELF SMALL
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
"Oh, Waaaaaaaaa..."
That worked.
Once.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CK-Wj1b084s
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:piper:
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"A tyrant will always find a pretext for his tyranny"
Stop Trying To Be The Good Guy With Narcissists
@Narella_Haici_369
58 minutes ago
Moral of the story is, once again, that NO ONE’S opinion of us matters more than our own. Period. But it has helped me to know that there are far more people in this world than just one delusional narcissist (and the few enablers he has in his corner) who see me for who I really am.
I hope all victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse have at least one person in their life who truly sees them too, because it is so important to have community when we are in recovery. Thank you LS for another important and great episode! Your voice of reason is so validating, and your words are like medicine to our wounds. Bless you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZRTQG7w1jw
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How can narcissists be so uncaring?
FOR THE LAST TIME,
Because they're sick.
Just kidding of course, this will hardly be the last time.
Anyway,
Narcissists aren't normal people who refuse to care about you.
They're abnormal people who cannot, even if they would want to, which they never would, care about you.
They have a different neurology.
They're neurodivergent.
Their brain is set up in a way that they can only care about what makes them feel good, which is exitement, or instant gratification, if you will.
So once your period of providing them that instant gratification is over, you're felafelled.
They will not and cannot care about how that makes you feel.
They then proceed to drag you through the pits of hell because you're standing in their way.
They don’t wanna listen to whatever tf your problem is.
They wanna felafel left right n center and treat you like a crackhead from hell, without the hassle of you not believing their lies and expecting decency.
That's it.
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Most of them are not uncaring on purpose, I don't believe, but they are just too self-centered to be anything else but. Their levels of self-absorption are near 100% I'm sure, leaving no time or space to give you or your feelings a glimmer of a thought. Everything in their life revolves around them; the sun literally rises and sets on their proverbial ass, as the saying goes.
They will stop a conversation in mid-sentence if they sense it's drifting away from them, or their name hasn't come up yet. They are not interested in you, per se, just what you can provide for them, be it flirting, sex, ass-kissing, ego-stroking, $$$, status, etc.
Start talking about yourself for just a minute, and their beady little eyes will start drifting, losing interest. But to a normal person like most of us, they come off as uncaring and unfeeling. Really, it's just plain old indifference, or to put it more directly: they don't give a sh*t.
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Narcissists are actually heartless pieces of sh!t.
They pretend to care, but they don’t.
They pretend to relate, but they don’t.
A parasite will always mimic symbiosis with its host.
To resolve the dilemma, you must become detached and psychopathic:
Dissociate. Depersonalise. Dissemble.
Because if you dare to share your heart with them, they will tear it to shreds.
They are angry, empty vessels who simply mirror where self-worth lacks in your life. Demons in human form.
If you feel angry and violated for no specific reason, like you have to justify or explain your existence and behaviour, then congratulations: you’re in the radius zone of a narcissist or a narcissistic frequency.
So basically open up and share your beautiful heart and soul to those who are WORTHY, SAFE, and ON YOUR LEVEL OR ABOVE.
As Lord Jesus Christ said: “Cast not thy pearls before swine.”
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/How-can-narcissists-be-so-uncaring
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Why don't narcissists like seeing you happy?
Narcissists are pathologically envious and jealous people. Anything that makes you happy—narcissists don't like it. Whatever things you like to enjoy, narcissists don't like it. Narcissists will never allow you to do anything that you like and enjoy.
Narcissists want to see you unhappy in relationships; they don't want you to enjoy your life, friends, hobbies, activities, etc.; they create conflicts on purpose so that your focus shifts to conflicts instead of having a nice time. Your happiness makes narcissists frustrated.
Deep inside, narcissists are irritated, empty, and full of hate. Narcissists just can't live happily, so they remove all their frustration on you. Narcissists feel good when they see you miserable and sad. Making you unhappy makes narcissists feel power and in control; it gives them narcissistic supply. Narcissists feels happy when they make your life miserable.
Narcissists will ruin the happiness of every person they are close to.
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They are quite happy if it benefits them. Did you win the lottery and are now going to share your winnings with them? Did you inherit a new home? The narcissist will be "happy" for you because it means more supply for them.
They are not happy if you win, and when nothing is in it for them. Then they become very unhappy and try to destroy you. It could be anything from getting a degree in chemistry that they always wanted, or buying a new car that they desired, one that doesn't belong to them.
The irony here is that narcissists like to pretend they are always happy. This is that fake mask they wear, the perfectly happy guy or gal who is always fun at parties, magnanimous, and popular.
They are “grandiose.”
The happy routine is their mask of sanity, it hides the rotten core within and who they really are.
This is why genuine happiness irks them and makes them feel like lashing out at you. They aren’t actually happy, they are empty, shallow, and deluded.
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Because their goal is to control you, compete with you, and make you as miserable as them.
All of this is harder to do if you’re vibrating at a higher level.
EDIT: Unless God tells you otherwise, I’d like to encourage you to pray for narcissists. That doesn’t mean you should stay in relationships with them. What I mean is let’s fight back by not being overcome with evil, but overcoming evil with good.
Pray that God doesn’t give up on them. That He grants them repentance and changes their hearts. No matter how we’ve been hurt, let’s seek to forgive those who hurt us. Jesus forgave us. Let’s forgive others.
Keep shining, beautiful person. God loves you so much. If you only knew…
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Look...
You are a mirror
They hate themselves and you need to mirror back to them that they are okay for all of their bad deeds.
That all of their outrageous behavior will be validated.
It's hilarious to be around because they just never felafeling stop until they illicit a reaction out of you telling them that how they think is okay.
If you don't mirror back to them that they are perfect then you are nothing.
To hell with you having a difference of opinion.
Time for your daily devaluation and eventual discard.
They can't wait for your misery at this point because you have betrayed them for being human.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Why-dont-narcissists-like-seeing-you-happy
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What happens when you send a narcissist to jail?
He goes to jail and is super pissed at you. Narcissists aren't known for accountability. So regardless of what he did to get himself there, he's blaming you and only you. If he beat you up, in his mind, it's your fault that happened because you made him angry.
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I did this to mine. Its not pretty. If you go NC with one even if they have new person, they get mad as hell. Its ok when they dont respond but god forbid someone do it to them. I told mine i was done, went NC. He was at my door yelling at me `your going to talk to me`. I refused~he went into rage, without realising people were watching started throwing me around like ragdoll in front of neighbors and children.
The neighbors called police, he was arrested. Here is the funny part, it was my fault he hit me, my fault he went to jail, my fault he's on probation &cant carry a gun for 2 yrs. So be prepared, it can get scary, i was. One thing that helped me what a very good friend said to me. ~Don't back down, they may not like you, but they will respect you~
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Forgive me for saying this but lets hope they throw away the key or better still they begin to rot!
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Just be ready for your life to be miserable. That's huge narcissistic injury. I wish I had known it at the time but I was clueless. I know I did the right thing by law. Had I known I would be victimized over and over I probably would have done things differently. By that I mean I would have disappeared off the face of the earth.
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THE VIOLENT NARCISSIST WOULD BE INCARCERATED.
And might be put on some meds if they misbehave.
Which could temporarily make them more docile.
Or they could send them to solitary everytime they misbehave.
The violent narcissist would try to contact anyone they've ever known to get them to put money on their books.
They'd be a lot nicer than they were while free.
Then when the violent narcissist gets released again,
They'd start violent narcissisting again,
As if they never left.
That's pretty much it.
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Life is going to seriously suck for him until he figures out how to manipulate the people around him to get his supply up and running again. He will likely glom onto some of the crazy women who have a thing for men in prison, and begin corresponding with them for additional supply. NPDs are highly creative at squeezing supply out of seemingly thin air.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-send-a-narcissist-to-jail
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4 Wicked Tactics Narcissists Use to Avoid Accountability
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHRSftUocnU
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:roughend:
-
They hate themselves!!
10 Reasons Narcissists
Hate You
10 They envy your success
9 If you ignore them because you have a life
8 Narcissists blame being looked down upon
7 You seem happier without them
6 A narcissist is jealous of you, who you are, what you have, your skills
5 They need to feel superior
4 Saying "no" or "you're wrong" will enrage them
3 They can't accept that they make any mistakes, not even a small one
2 They envy your self confidence
1 If you are loyal to anyone they don't like (this is just about everyone)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaV-EqkZtAA
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When is a narcissist dangerous?
Narcissists are always dangerous in some way. They never have good intentions and always want to control and use others. They stay true to their nature.
Narcissists are toxic individuals for many reasons. They will take everything they can from you. They drain your energy, making you feel tired when you're around them. They try to take up all your time by constantly contacting you or showing up unexpectedly, even when you're busy. They may seem generous at first, but they will try to make you pay for things or pressure you to quit your job so they can take care of you.
They will try to isolate you from your friends and family, then spread lies about you to them. They claim to dislike drama, but they actually enjoy causing it. They create conflicts and gossip among people and pretend they had nothing to do with it. In reality, they are often the cause of turmoil, misunderstandings, and broken relationships.
Being around a narcissist feels like being in a horror movie. It's like they bring destruction and danger wherever they go. They can make you feel like you're slowly wasting away, just like a disease. They are truly destructive and harmful. Many personal accounts on platforms like Quora confirm this sad reality.
I have never heard anyone say that being in a relationship with a narcissist was enjoyable, healthy, or beneficial. Anyone who claims otherwise is either a narcissist themselves, extremely dependent on others, or willingly accepting abuse.
Perhaps the better question is, "When is a narcissist not dangerous?" It's hard to think of a time when they aren't dangerous—maybe when they're sleeping, in a coma, or no longer alive.
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Simply put, any time that you don’t kiss their ass and reassure them they are always right and the best person in the world, possibly the universe.
Questioning them, disagreeing, not giving them mahoosive snaps when they expect it, which is all the time, even if done with huge diplomacy, will culminate in, at best, a cold shoulder on par with the iceberg that sank the Titanic, being ignored to the point where you feel you’ve become invisible, or at worst, being subjected to the narcissistic rage, shouted and screamed at, gaslighted into believing what they just did, they didn’t do, or what they didn’t do, they did, (either way you are ‘crazy’ and you’re wrong), and huuuuge guilt trips thrown at you that are so disproportionate to the actual ‘crime’ you’ve committed, you could be forgiven for believing you’ve just shot their grand mother.
If you find yourself subjected to any of this, run a MILE, break all contact, and thank your lucky stars you have escaped with your sanity…!!
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Before I knew that the word Narcissist existed I told my wife a few times that I considered her to be the most dangerous person that I had ever met. I told her that because of the shear number of accusations she would make against me as if they were facts. Also due to the fact she had sucker punched me in the face approx 15 times at that point while accusing me. Little did I know that shortly there after she would further prove that point by bringing false domestic violence charges against me……..twice. The twice part is my fault. I returned home thinking love would conquer our issues. silly me
To answer your question, a narcissist is dangerous as long as they are breathing.
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A narcissist is always dangerous. They are dangerous to anyone who is unlucky enough to have even the most casual interaction with them, and more so to friends, coworkers, neighbors and associates and family. They are extremely dangerous to anyone with whom they have a romantic relationship, their children, grandchildren, and other family members. Children are at especially high risk of narcissistic abuse and they are a captive audience who can't escape. Children of narcissists may become narcissists themselves, and if not will likely still suffer for their whole lifetime.
If you know a narcissist no matter your relationship with them, they are dangerous to you. Don't work for or with them, date or marry them, move in with them even without a romantic relationship (ie. roommate or friendship). You will suffer for it. Their abuse ripples out from them and affects many, even some who have never met them. Narcissists are toxic. That's why so many are damaged by them even though they are said to comprise only 1% of the population. Avoid them like the plague and protect others from them.
https://www.quora.com/When-is-a-narcissist-dangerous
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What is so dangerous about a narcissist?
Narcissists are dangerous because they are evil in human disguise. The sole purpose of narcissists is to destroy your life by taking everything from you. You will give love, care, trust, loyalty, and honesty to narcissists; in return, they will give you only abuse. Narcissists main motive is to see your downfall and destruction. Narcissists come into relationships only to feed on you. You give everything to narcissists; they take everything from you, and then they destroy you emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
After taking everything from you and destroying you, they will blame you and spoil your reputation. Narcissists will move on to the next person by acting innocent and victim.
Narcissists are evil; their sole purpose is to take everything from you. It's the mask, which doesn't allow people to see who they are. If you remove the mask of narcissists, then you see nothing but only evil.
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They are professional brain damagers, can torture better(cause more pain) than the people who tortured witches back in the day, without putting a finger on them, murderers by pushing their victims to actual suicide because they lack empathy & lack any morals at all so therefore don't have a limit with how far they push those limits, pushing their victims right over the edge, they cause people to go insane. They don't just damage or break minds, they obliterate the mind & the heart to smithereens.
So yeah, great fun people to be around & look up to cuz they are so goodlooking & charismatic & cool as a cucumber. Not having a care in the world that they have a long line of people in their past & present who's lives & reputations they either destroyed or killed.
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They are masters in the art of deception. They know just how to butter up to people getting what they want & then dumping them or sucking them dry of money, love, material possessions, maybe some of these things, maybe all & more! What more? Their self esteem, their social status, their friends, family… their prey may not ever recover from the losses & trauma incurred.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/What-is-so-dangerous-about-a-narcissist
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How would a narcissist act if you press charges on them for harassment?
THAT'S WHEN THEY’LL BACK OFF.
Narcissists only go as far as you let them.
They're extremely overconfident.
Mainly due to your clown slave behavior.
It's taught them that you'll pretty much accept anything.
And that you'd never think to harm them.
That's why narcissists are always extremely indignant and shocked once
you f*ck them up.
Some quotes:
“I can't believe you did that to me.”
“I never expected you to be such a bad person.”
“I would never do that to you.”
“I trusted you.”
All of this after they’ve tried to f*ck your life with the fury of hellfire.
Yeah, narcissists think you're a f*cking loser.
And when you show them that you're not,
Is when they finally cut their f*ckshit.
You should try it.
Have a great day.
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Disbelief and anger is what they feel. “HOW DARE YOU REPORT ME” Revenge is in the back of their minds so your only option from this point on is NO CONTACT at all times and that means in every way possible.
No social media, no info from friends or their flying monkeys, nothing at all. If anyone opens their mouth up about him, tell them to shut up you are not interested in knowing. Then move on with your life. This shows them you have your POWER back and they are not going to take you down no matter what.
Stay strong.
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They have no conscience, so they will not feel anything! Remember, you are dealing with a sick plastic person that easily adapts to any situation. They would make friends in jail and have the policemen totally befriended before you can snap your fingers!
They would have everyone believing you are crazy and hysterical and how in the world had this fabulous person got mixed up with you. You will be lucky if he does not pull something to get you arrested ! What they get in situations like that they turn and give back ten fold!
Remember and print this wherever you can see and read several times a day! You can not beat a narc! You will never win! They are never sorry! They will not change! Your only hope for full survival is to outlive them and/or get away from them! It’s hard because they make you addicted to them and the pain so you keep going back again and again ! Which is toxic for you, your loved ones and your health !!!
https://www.quora.com/How-would-a-narcissist-act-if-you-press-charges-on-them-for-harassment
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Do narcissists ever care?
Yes!
There are 3 main things that mean the world to the Narcissist, because if they don’t have at least 2 of these things going for them, in their eyes, they have nothing.
The things Narcissists care about are very self-serving and superficial. But they are a true reflection of their Narcissistic Insecurity and the emptiness they have inside.
1. Image.
So, the first thing that means the world to the Narcissist is their image. The way they look, dress, etc. Image is everything to a Narcissist. Sociopaths, on the other hand, would have no issues rolling out of bed and walking to a corner shop all ruffled and unkept because they do not care how they look or how they are perceived. They make an effort only when it suits them.
But Narcissists, especially in their prime years, are obsessed with looking good and appearing to have it all. The Covert Narcissist, specifically, is very strategic with what they allow people to see about them. When they walk out of that door, they see it as a performance. Everything has to be in line with the image that they are trying to push.
Narcissists invest time, money, and energy to look good and get people to think quite highly of them. Everything they do is to improve their reputation and status. And the only people who get to see behind the disguise are those closest to them like their partners and children.
2. Narcissistic Supply.
The second thing that means the world to the Narcissist is their Narcissistic Supply, which usually comes as a result of that fake image that they have created. They need attention, compliments, and praise to feel good about themselves.
They need to know that they are loved by the masses and held in high esteem. They also need that dark Narcissistic supply that they get from hurting and betraying those that they claim to love.
And in order to get this, they have to deceive people into getting into a relationship with them. The amount of effort the Narcissist puts into getting their Narcissistic Supply is enough proof to show how much it matters to them.
With Narcissists, people are just a means to an end, and that is why they are not able to truly love or care for anyone. Because all they want from us is their Narcissistic Supply. It makes them feel powerful and in control.
3. Money & Power.
The third thing the Narcissist cares about is Money and Power. Money helps them to boost their fake image and purchase more and more stuff to distract from their miserable existence and try to make themselves happy. They refuse to accept that money cannot buy happiness. So, they are driven to be successful so that they can have more.
They have also realized that with more money, they can have control over more people. They can use their finances to keep certain people in their lives. And with money, as with everything else, the Narcissist cannot have enough and is never satisfied with what they have. With more money comes more power, and Narcissists take pleasure in controlling the lives of people and being feared.
Narcissists are weak, insecure, and highly dependent on the people around them to make them feel better about themselves or distract from their inner turmoil. So, they do care about their fake image as this is their green card to get access to more people.
And more people mean more Narcissistic Supply. Narcissistic Supply is the Narcissist’s fuel for life.
And finally, money and power are tools to help them gain even more control, maintain their image and provide further Narcissistic Supply.
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Yes
They care about these things:
Their looks
How others perceive them
A person to have meaningless sex with.
Money
Control
Power
Status
Attention
Adulation
Having no rules and following no laws.
Endless drama and negativity
Gossip
Pitting others against each other
Watching you fail and be in pain because of them
Winning
What they don’t care about is:
You
Your family
Love
Connection
Reality
Decency
Conviction
Morals (they have zero)
Your success
Your sanity
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Narcissists care about being better than you. Narcissists must always be better than somebody, many different people, many times a day.
They know this has happened when they make your face fall, bunch up, tighten, when they have removed happiness from you.
You didn't do it to them, they did it to you — they're better.
This is why you can beat them by being obnoxiously cheerful about your life, what you are doing, what you are about.
As Narc Survivor says, narcissists are about nothing.
It causes them to lose — you're feeling better, and it makes them feel worse. They feel like victims, like the most unlucky people in the world (there's been a mistake, they should be ruling us all) so they can't stomach your enjoyment of life whatsoever, you're a nobody, you're not allowed to be happy.
That's all they care about, being better than others, every miserable moment of every sad little day. It's a compulsion for them, to see the look of pain on the faces of the defeated.
They lack something called empathy, they lack it because they do not have the grey matter to fuel it. Empathy for a narcissist is like your tail bone, vestigial, of no use for your intents and purposes.
Narcissists want to be better than you. Empathy is being the same. It's understanding, appreciating, commiserating with, sharing with, cheering with — caring about the feelings of other people.
It all goes on in a part of the brain that does not work in the Narcissist, the Left Anterior Insula Cortex.
Narcissists only use other people to get high. Hurting their feelings makes the Narcissist ecstatic. Emoting together with them would only get in the way of their drug addiction.
Narcissists cannot care for others any more than you can hang from a tree by your tail.
https://thetoxicnarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-care-7
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Is a narcissist only using you?
Yes, the narcissist will continue to use you until you use them back.
The narcissist knows a lot about you. You probably opened up and told them about your desires, sins, and weaknesses in your desire for their fake affection. Now they know how to easily trigger and manipulate you.
But you can use the narcissist to become a different person.
Do the things they hated. Make it impossible for them to come back. They tried to sabotage and stop your efforts, so that you became miserable and dependent on them - like an empath. Once they reduced you to that, they went to find more people like you.
Don't be an empath - break free!
Remember what they promised you and what they prevented you from doing. Return to your life with full force. You're not a loser empath who needs a "healed narcissist" to give you fake affection all the time. You're a superhuman.
The narcissist showed you what to do by trying to stop you from doing it. Use that against them.
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Of course.
And they only use you, because you let them.
Narcissists use one natural flaw against you again and again, which is –
the fact you like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
Narcissists know you try to find the good in people, and so you will give them the benefit of the doubt again.., and again...., and again.
And when you've had enough of the inconsistencies, unkept promises, words conflicting with actions..., then –
they master-mind an elaborate excuse for their toxic ways, in the hope you revert to your old ways of trying to find the good in them again.
Narcissists use your most humane traits against you, teaching you a hard truth to accept.
When dealing with the most toxic, manipulative ones, you must not see them or treat them as normal human beings.
You must not allow them access to your inner core, or life. Instead, leave them at the most superficial levels.
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If they’re are in fact a narcissist then they are using you. Someone with no love or empathy has nothing and I mean nothing positive to offer. Their endless cycle of idolize, devalue, discard, hoover and repeat is all they know.
It’s always give give and give with a narcissist, you never get anything in return apart from emotionally abused. They have used the people before you, they will use you and the people after you. Like a hamster on a wheel going round and round but not actually getting anywhere.
If they haven’t yet reached the point of discard get out while you can, there is nothing in the near future that will prepare you for what it will end like. Get out while you can, you’ve already began to ask questions this means you know something is wrong. Listen to that inner voice, I wish I did.
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That’s all they do. That’s it…everything. They are born to use. They are born to use and they lack gratitude. They’re too superior for gratitude in their own minds. Add the fact that they have no empathy and you realize that you’re dealing with a very dangerous person.
It’s no joke. These are the people in the evolutionary chain that never made the leap…to feeling real emotions and holding themselves accountable for anything. Human predators that lack souls are the most dangerous creatures that live.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Is-a-narcissist-only-using-you
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What words do
narcissists hate?
1. Whatever.
Narcissists need to know what's going on with you. They want to see if you're reacting to what they just said or did. They can't handle not knowing how you feel. They need to be sure about how they're affecting you. If you act neutral or say "whatever," they see it as an insult.
To them, it's like you're saying, "You're not important, you don't matter to me," or "What you're doing has no power over me." Deep down, they worry that they're stupid or worthless, and when you say "whatever," it triggers those fears. They feel shame, and their go-to reaction is rage. So when you say "whatever," you're making them feel small, and they can't stand that.
2. Disagree.
Narcissists can't handle disagreement. In a healthy relationship, it's okay to disagree because it helps the relationship grow. People have different opinions, and that's normal. But for a narcissist, your disagreement feels like a threat.
They think they're better than everyone else, so when you disagree, it's like you're challenging their superiority. Even if you try to be polite, saying "I disagree" will trigger them. Once they hear that word, they're done—they won't listen anymore.
3. Goodbye.
Narcissists have a fear of abandonment, but it's not the same as the fear other people might have. For them, it's about being left in the middle of something important, like proving they're right. If you walk away during an argument, you're basically saying, "You're not important enough for me to listen to."
This is a huge threat to them. They might lose control, break things, or follow you around until you listen to them. If they feel abandoned, they have to be the one to abandon you first. It's their way of saying, "How dare you think you can leave me? I'll leave you first."
4. Later.
Narcissists are all about instant gratification. When they want something, they want it right now. They can't stand hearing "later." They have no patience. For example, my father would demand things immediately, without giving me time to think. This taught me to be a people-pleaser because I felt like I had no choice.
That's why freedom has been such a big deal for me—the freedom to choose and to have my own space. But narcissists don't give you that freedom. To them, "later" means "never," and they won't accept that. They want control, and you have to obey—that's how it works with them.
5. No.
The word "no" is something narcissists can't stand, and "sorry" is a word they can't say. They don't like hearing "no" because they see you as an extension of themselves, like a puppet or an object. You're there to serve them, and you can't have your own needs, wants, or boundaries.
If you say "no" to them, it challenges their fragile ego, and they try to bulldoze you into submission. That's why setting boundaries with narcissists doesn't always work. If they have the power and resources, they'll try to turn every "no" into a "yes." I've seen it happen in many divorce cases, and that's why you have to be strategic when dealing with them.
It's not easy.
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“Can we have a serious talk?”
“You need to learn to compromise.”
“You should be more fair.”
“You're not the center of the universe, you know.”
“Do you love me?”
“No.”
“I disagree.”
“I feel good today.”
“I am so happy!”
_________________________________
No
Stop!
You'll have to wait
Not interested
You are too old, short, broke, fat, ugly
The bar is closed
The buffet is shut down due to Covid
Drug dealer got arrested
What's your name again?
You aren't on the list
You have serious control issues
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
You tested positive again for STDs
I'm pregnant and having the baby
Stop interrupting me
Listen to some else's point of view
I'm not finished talking
There is a warrant out for your arrest
Do you think i'm this dumb?
We need to discuss your outstanding balance
You've been sued
We have already gone over this
You can't be this stupid
Lose my number
You were already asked politely to stop
Lets talk about the last time you did this
This isn't working for me anymore
Critical words to a third person about the narcissist in front of the narcissist
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Narcissists hate to be told NO to anything, anyone, or in any situation. It’s their way 100% of the time. Any opposition is not acceptable. Saying no can result in arguments or rages. Even politely saying no thank you, I’ll pass, I’m not interested will irritate them.
Narcissists also hate words that indicate they aren’t all that. Praising others, commenting on someone else being attractive, and words that show admiration for anyone beside them. Comments about someone being successful, wealthy, or popular. They take it all personally like it is directed at them.
What narcissists hate the most is lack of words. No response, ignoring them, blocking them, and acting indifferent makes them feel insignificant which they hate.This also shows them they do not have control over you which is how they handle relationships. So think before you speak because silence is their kryptonite.
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There's no magic spell, no magic formula of words you can weave — leave that basic b*tch mind f*ckery to the narcissists.
If you really want to hurt the narcissist (and you do), simply outshine them. Be more popular, more generous, more hard working, skilled, be more of whatever the narcissist is pretending to be.
If you do this, you will unleash the narcissist's worst enemy upon themselves —
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I want a prenup.
No, we are not having a joint account-my money stays mine.
Goodbye, for ever.
I know about narcissism now, and you are one.
I am going out tonight- don't try to stop me.
I am going on holiday for a week with my friends.
No, I will NOT do that. Stop trying to control me.
Are you getting the picture? With narcissists it is all about control, so anything you say that rejects control is unacceptable. But watch out- if you are not controllable, you will be dropped, for someone more biddable.
So never fall in love with a narcissist- your heart will be broken- either because they will get you fully controlled, or because they will dump you. That is why you can´t win with a narcissist. Your best protection against narcissists is knowledge- so read on this site and elsewhere about this disorder, and my advice? Stay away from them all.
https://www.quora.com/What-words-do-narcissists-hate
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What is a "collapsed narcissist"?
A collapsed narcissist is a narcissist whose ego or self-image has received a huge blow, after which an emotional collapse occurs. It is characterized by the following features:
Loss of Control: When their usual manipulation tactics or control methods fail, narcissists sometimes "collapse," thus feeling powerless and helpless, in contrast to the normal grandiose feelings about themselves.
Emotional Instability: It is the hallmark of a collapsed narcissist; they can become prone to intense mood swings, depression, anxiety, or even rage at the struggle with the fact that they are actually not superior at all.
Withdrawal and Isolation: They can withdraw themselves from social interaction and become reclusive or avoidant in that they just can't keep their facade up anymore.
Desperate Appeals for Confirmation: In the need to rediscover their feeling of significance, they may become overly attention-seeking. This often becomes more manipulative or clingy.
Blame and Self-Victimization: A collapsed narcissist may resort to self-pity, blaming others for their mistreatment, as he/she cannot accept responsibility for failures.
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It's the worst thing that can happen to a narcissist. It usually starts when the narcissist goes through their usual cycle of love bombing, devaluing, and discarding their current source of supply. But then, they realize they can't replace that person. They can't get the same type of supply they once did. Even when they try to get their last supply back, it doesn't work.
So what happens? The narcissist finds it harder and harder to get the supply they need. They start to reach out to anyone or anything for validation. This triggers all their doubts and fears about themselves and their lives. They go into a "poor me" shock, which leads to narcissistic rage, affecting everyone around them. They might end up completely alone and then go back to the "poor me" phase. This cycle of low self-esteem, rage, and self-pity is known as the collapsed narcissist.
At this point, the false self and the real self of the narcissist clash, and it's not pretty. The narcissist's facade is gone, the mask is off, and they are exposed. They can't keep up the act anymore. People can now see the real them. They might start hiding, move to a different place, become a different person, or cling desperately to anyone still in their lives. This is what happens when the fake "calm, cool, collected" persona is gone, revealing the ugly truth of who the narcissist really is.
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A collapsed narcissist is one that has been found out and trying to use your empathy to get you back in line.
Until they are dead they will continually rebound from collapse into offending again and again.
Do not be fooled. They are incapable of any empathy and should never be trusted with anything of value or with any promises. They will invariably rationalize their behavior to either benefit themselves or to screw you AGAIN.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-is-a-collapsed-narcissist-9
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How do covert narcissists expose themselves in the end?
The end begins out of the gate, but comes to fruition generally whenever the host (supply) realizes they are losing energy, identifies the culprit, then attempts to hold the parasite (NPDI) accountable- or kicks them to the curb…or the NPDI gets bored and destroys what he has in front of him for a fantasy of what might be.
Specifically, an opportunity that seems financially irresistible, belonging to someone as of yet too inexperienced to figure them out…and whose living arrangements perhaps, provide an escape hatch of some sort or other to boot.
Nevertheless, the beginning of the ‘bitter end,’ is set off when the host attempts to engage the NPDI in normal relational terms which includes honesty, setting boundaries, compromising mutual needs and expectations, questioning and resolving unacceptable behaviors and attempting to require mutual accountability-all of these over time resulting in the host being stonewalled then devalued and at last, publicly smeared behind their back by the NPDI, who will NOT engage in behavior required in a mature, committed relationship; but cannot admit it because they have claimed they were committed all along hoping to never actually have to behave like it; engaging instead in stall tactics such as circular conversations, future faking, temporarily modifying behaviors and addictions but returning to them again and again, etc.
I guess the best way to describe to those lucky folks scratching their heads and tempted to find fault with people engaged in the conversation that’s happening all over the world as regards Narcissism, is to explain what a person endures in the final analysis, when they have encountered an NPDI, and believed to have been in a mutual, loving relationship with them, only to come face to face instead with the fact that their relationship was a complete fabrication.
Here is the best explanation I can come up with: the NPDI’s grande finale is manifested in a narcissist rage (tantrum) that is nothing short of epic in intensity. Although admittedly humorous once the host has distanced themself enough to review the memory rationally.
Until said host has been able to process the situation, however, the only scenario I can imagine that is comparable and or might feel worse than waking up to the fact that you have invested your life in a relationship with a con artist (or at best, a two year old trapped in an adult body who has at last declared their true identity in the form of an all out assault), would be realizing you ‘d been enmeshed with a Scott Peterson character and stumbled across his plot before he killed you.
That’s how shocked you are. And at the point of discovery, you have no clue about narcissism to help you understand; only your first hand experience which includes some bizarre but specific patterns of behavior.
The host has no choice in any case, regardless of what they do or do not know with certainty, but to face and consider the crescendo of horror they experienced at the last curtain call, and once home alone and in retrospect, to make sense of all that happened during the devaluation phase. Which, if we are honest was going on simultaneously even during Act 1: Eden.
The devaluation in my case happened concurrently with the love bombing which lasted a long time but over time was laced more and more often with devaluation once the proverbial curtain came down.
But even if the devaluation was a long, slow boil that suddenly took off after many years of simmering, as is the case in marriages, the host cannot believe the person they have spent their time with, the deception that was pulled on them or that the individual they thought they knew and adored was in fact but a manipulated ruse, created and staged by a human being capable of doing what appears ANYTHING that serves their own purposes; with no regard for the damage they cause to anyone along the way.
The hateful words that are at last spoken by this person who proclaimed you their soulmate so quickly, the harsh voice they come to use, the intentionally cruel timing they so often employ when they are attempting to destroy you…and the fact they they’ve been lying and cheating all along in some capacity, is stunning as any taser. And is comparably paralyzing for a time.
But I digress. In short, the mask, when last it comes off completely, reveals nothing but hideous malevolence and spite that is horrifying. One is left grieving, in shock, confused and frightened all at once; panicked as though they’ve barely escaped a monster from some creepy fairytale.
In fact, come to think of it- that IS figuratively exactly what we did. Because when at last the NPDI is unveiled, what is revealed to have been lurking beneath the lie of a false persona is nothing short of monstrous; a fact that is made apparent to the host who finds themselves, simultaneously, witnessing not only the NPDI’s true, diabolical identity but the lengths a Narc will go in order to protect it; a reality that is both disarming and repulsive.
But then, as the myth goes, Narcissus was so intent on believing in a delusional self, that he did in the end, idiotically starve to death staring at his own distorted external reflection in a pool of water…
In the same manner, an NPDI starves himself and everyone he encounters with his unfailing commitment to maintaining a skewed, distorted, elevated image of himself; spending every internal and external resource at his disposal on convincing, of a lie, the people who care the least about him (strangers he calls friends).
Sadly, the lie is effective only temporarily. And NPDIs know it on some level. That’s why the pattern they have perfected in order to survive once they are busted, is so apparent on close inspection; and becomes evident again as their latest attempt at faking a great love story fizzles into another farce like all the ones before (“one more disappointment,” claims the NPDI who has orchestrated the demise (and a damned shocking but boring and anticlimactic ending for the host I may assure you, once the smear campaign and possibly, months of hoovering and grief are over and the host finally has time and space and the presence of mind to figure everything out).
Thank God that neurotypicals recover to laugh at themselves for falling for the charade. Ironically, the very thing a Narc can never do and the reason they become nothing at all in the end. Not even a memory. Just another counterfeit thing we have come across and figured out; a diversion or cloud some genuine soul encountered temporarily along their path and left behind. A flop at the narc’s mental box office at best… But make no mistake, it takes time and effort for the supporting actors to recognize the protracted tragedy was in reality comedy of the absurd that they were playing a role in all along.
The good news is: Do you remember details of the mirror images of yourself or your childhood friends from the carnival fun house at the state fair you attended in seventh grade -beyond that the experience was fun for a moment, weird, silly and disturbing in the end; and that thank goodness you could walk away and take none of the hideous, crazy, temporary distortions you saw reflected back home with you?
I didn’t think so.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/How-do-covert-narcissists-expose-themselves-in-the-end
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Do narcissists really have the goal/intent to completely destroy you or is this just the result of all their actions?
Narcissists are masters of destroying or sabotaging their own relationships. This is one of the reasons it’s not possible to make them happy.
This sabotage is driven by 3 key factors:
The lack of whole object relations and object constancy
The need for narcissistic supply
The need to preserve their idealized self, their persona
The lack of whole object relations and object constancy.
The narcissist does not have the ability to see all of you at one time. They see you as “all good” or “all bad.” They also don’t have the ability to remain positive about your relationship during a challenge or a setback. They assume it is over.
For this reason, the narcissist will do or say things when they see you as “all bad” that are harmful to the relationship.
They will…
Say something so cruel that things will never be the same
Reveal your deepest secrets
Destroy something of importance to you
Cheat on you
As soon as they flip back into seeing you as “all good,” which can happen quickly, they do not remember ever feeling you were “all bad.” They cannot fathom having done or said anything hurtful because they “never felt that way.”
This is when you’ll hear…
That never happened
I would never say that to you!
That doesn’t sound like me
They have sabotaged the relationship for both of you.
The need for narcissistic supply.
The need for narcissistic supply is so strong, it supersedes all else.
Remember, a narcissist gleans supply in 2 ways:
Ingratiation: admiration, praise, respect, validation, positive attention
Grandiosity: Gaining power and control by devaluing others
The narcissist will…
Ruin their laundry by leaving a pen in their pocket, just to ruin yours
Get fired, decreasing discretionary family income, for attention
Continue to blatantly lie, when you’ve told them you’ll leave if it happens again
The need to preserve their idealized self, their persona.
The narcissist needs street cred with their flying monkeys. They will do things that sabotage their relationship just to preserve their image. (Picture Danny Zuko when he runs into Sandy at the pep rally in Grease.)
They also need to reinforce this image for themselves.
The narcissist will…
Demean you in public, to look powerful
Flirt with younger, attractive people to look more attractive
Transfer finances into their name to be in control
When their persona includes being a victim, they will sabotage themselves just to have more victim stories.
The narcissist will…
Take a pic while driving, then post it publicly, just so they aren’t considered safe to drive their kids
Be physically aggressive with the kids, so they have supervised contact only
Spend all of their money, so they can be broke
But is it actually sabotage?
Or instead, is the narcissist getting exactly what they need?
While it appears that the narcissist has ruined their day, their financial security, their relationship with their kids, the narcissist has actually secured narcissistic supply. That’s their primary need.
The narcissist has gotten exactly what they wanted.
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Yes - people are good or bad in the eyes of a narc. There’s nothing in between. And you don’t have to do anything “bad” to be perceived as bad by a narcissist. Just disagreeing within them on something unimportant and irrelevant can be enough to become public enemy number one.
And once you’re perceived as bad by them their goal is to take you down. Friends and acquaintances can can just say goodbye to the narc, move on and never see them again. Partners and spouses get it the worst as it’s just not as easy as upping sticks as your life is so blended with the narc’s.
When you’re public enemy number one the narc has so much hatred towards you that there are very few limits in terms of how far they will go to punish you. They just stay clear of anything that’s likely to be picked by others (narcs care a lot about how they’re perceived by others - so they generally avoid physical violence that leaves marks or public displays of unpleasantness and abuse).
Over and the above that their goal is to make you lose your friends, your family, your children, your home, your money and your career. I’ve read that they can even try to drive you to your suicide.
Narcs will attempt to ruin your life and will enjoy doing it as you deserve it in their eyes. If you’re married to a narc the hardest battle is escaping from them as they know full well that your life is tangled to theirs - the ropes prevent your you getting away and enable the narc to keep punishing you relentlessly day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year.
They have no remorse or regret for what they’re doing. But when fighting for your life most put on the biggest fight of their life and ultimately break free to leave the narc losing the battle and licking wounds that they’ll never recover from.
Yes - narcs aim to ruin lives. Don’t let them…
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-really-have-the-goal-intend-to-completely-destroy-you-or-is-this-just-the-result-of-all-their-actions
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Why is a narcissist always mad at me?
Narcissists get angry a lot, mostly because they're angry at themselves. People with NPD, or narcissistic personality disorder, can be really controlling and mean. They want you to doubt yourself, and that's why you're trying to figure out why they're mad at you. They love attention and need people to tell them they're important, so when you wonder why they're always mad, you're actually giving them what they want.
Their main goal is to control and scare you. They use bullying to have power over others. Bullies usually struggle with their own life because their abusive behavior makes it hard for them to have good relationships. Narcissists are filled with self-hate, and they take it out on those close to them. Being angry is one way they control others. It scares you and makes them feel in charge.
When your abuser is mad at you, it helps them deal with their emotions. It makes you focus on them instead of yourself, draining your energy. Their anger chips away at your self-worth and confidence, making you feel confused and trapped emotionally. It steals your peace of mind, and you spend energy trying to figure out what you did wrong. Their anger keeps you curious and uneasy, so you end up following them into a confusing situation.
Why they're mad at you isn't really about you. It's more about their own problems and struggles inside. Narcissists use defense mechanisms to handle their shame, insecurity, and low self-esteem. They depend on others to make them feel important and boost their confidence. They're almost always angry, or about to be, sometimes without a good reason. Often, it's just a way to play mind games and keep you focused on them. Watch out for the signs, don't be a victim, and do what you need to protect your mental health.
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Narcissists are always mad at you, because they are mad at themselves. Those with NPD narcissistic personality disorder could be some of the most manipulating, controlling, entitled, toxic people in the world, and will go out of their way to make you make you question yourself.
This may also explain why you’re trying to figure out why they’re mad at you. They live for validation and attention, and with you trying to figure out why they’re always mad at you - you’re giving them exactly what they want.
Those with narcissistic personality trait's ultimate goal is to gain control and authority, while intimidating their victims. The objective of narcissistic abuse is all about power, and control. Most bullies have a downward spiral through life, as their aggressive behaviors make it difficult for them to establish and maintain healthy relationships.
Narcissists are full of self-hatred, and they hate others even more, and one of the reasons why they take their anger out on those closet them. Anger is a favorite tactic of their bullying tactics, because they know it will quickly intimidate the target while simultaneously establishing dominance and control.
By your predatory abuser being mad at you helps them to regulate their emotions.
By your abuser being mad at you takes the focus off of yourself in exchange for you putting all of your energy towards them.
By the narcissist being mad at you picks away at your self-worth and self-esteem, in return this lowers your self-confidence which is one of their goals to keep you emotionally hostage/confused!
By the narcissist being mad at you steals away your peace of mind, and you expel your energy trying to figure what you did wrong.
By the narcissist being mad at you makes you curious and unsettled, so you inadvertently follow this unhinge person down the rabbit's hole.
Why the narcissist is mad at you has less to do with you, and more to do with their inner demons that they’re constantly fighting internally. Narcissists will use defense mechanisms to cope with their shame, insecurity, and low self-esteem. They rely on others for their narcissistic supply to give them a sense of importance and boost their low self-esteem.
They're always either angry, or on the verge of becoming angry, and sometimes they are angry for no legitimate reason. Many times, it is just a form of manipulation of playing mind games with you to keep you “hook, line, and sinker.” It may appear that they’re always mad at you as a way to keep you in compliance and focus only on them. May you know the signs, may you not be a victim, and may you do whatever you need to do to protect your emotional-mental health.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Why-is-a-narcissist-always-mad-at-me
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What happens to a narcissist as he gets old? Will he settle with anyone rather than be alone, or just get worse?
A narc's Number 1 fear is being abandoned because they cannot function alone. They need someone to comfort them when their ego is hurt,. They need money to finance their egoistic desires so that they can keep up with & out do their neighbours, friends & work colleagues. They need a ‘gofer’. They need sex. They absolutely need others to see that they are desired by someone.
But most of all they need someone to project onto; someone they can evacuate / dump all the bad feelings they have about themselves onto. A sacrificial lamb. A scapegoat that they can bully and take out their frustrations & anger on. An emotional punching bag. An emotional tampon.
In other words they need a thing, (not a person with real needs, desires & feelings), that they can use to keep going. A narc cannot handle being on their own and will settle with any low hanging fruit they can get until such time that they can upgrade to a better model.
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I think getting older is hell on earth for narcs.
When narcs were younger, supply was plentiful. Their maladaptivity hadn’t yet caught up with them. For those who become addicts in their later years, this too had not yet taken a hold.
When the narc was young, they had enough energy and charm to seamlessly manipulate multiple people. The world was their oyster. Younger people are also naive and trusting, so finding people who would tolerate their BS was pretty easy. So they could run multiple idealisation and devaluation cycles with ease. Their pot was constantly topped up.
Until it isn’t. And I think that for a lot of narcs, the wheels start to come off the bus in their mid/ late 40’s.
If their looks were what attracted supply, these start to suddenly accelerate in aging. I know two narcs who looked amazing and could attract people from across rooms. And suddenly - between the ages of 45–50, that allure disappeared. For these specific narcs - alcohol and smoking categorically contributed.
If an addiction has been managed over previous decades, this is the time that the damage starts to show (either at medicals) or aesthetically. For women especially, the addiction plus the hormonal changes are a double whammy. Throw some good old fashioned peri menopause at a rapidly aging female who is a functional alcoholic and that is an absolute cluster felafel waiting to happen.
Their behaviours become even more erratic, they will black out more and have no recollection of their behaviour. They can become even more sexually promiscuous (including pursuing the spouses of close friends/ even close family members). The ability to mask drops at an alarming rate. If they were covert narcs - this is when they become more obvious and overt.
As a result of the above, it can be at this stage that even long standing friends start to remove themselves from a narcs social circle, leaving them even more isolated.
If the narc is a parent. It can be around this age that their children start to realise something is amiss - and as young adults, actively start to boundary / distance themselves from their parents.
It was when my birth mother was 50 that I categorically Stopped listening to her. I could earn my own money and was in absolutely no way reliant on her. Her control over me was removed and that pushed her off a proverbial cliff.
The newer people/ potential supplies the narcs now attract into their circles are older and as a result of this a lot of them are far more self aware and educated than they were even a decade prior. Which means they are much more likely to pick up on problematic behaviours they see and not enter a closer/ more intimate relationship with the narc.
It’s around this age that I think you start to see a more deliberate separation start to happen - between those people who are healthy, have done work on themselves and actively move away from drama. Vs those who do not.
Today, I will not even consider any form of significant interaction with someone who I think could be unhealthy. So who does that leave for narcs? Other drama creating people who are self obsessed. That is not high quality supply for a narc.
Ultimately, I think a narc will always be able to find someone. But at a certain point it will no longer be the high quality supplies they were used to. This will lead to the narc being increasingly bitter & angry and possibly push them deeper into their addictions. Because if they can no longer vomit their pain onto others through abuse, the only way they can manage is to numb it.
Ultimately, I’d like to say it’s a sad ending for people who once held the promise of so much potential. But to be honest? They deserve nothing more.
Plenty of people were abused as children. Or raised by narcissists. Or alcoholics. Plenty of these people have categorically not gone on to repeatedly and knowingly abuse perfectly innocent people for the rest of their lives. And for many of these people it absolutely is a choice. I categorically do not believe that it isn’t.
They are perfectly aware of what they are doing - the whole time they are doing it. Why else are so many of them so successful? They couldn’t treat bosses/ work colleagues/ investors / press this way and get away with it. They do it where they know they can hide and bury their sick games. Behind closed doors where no one is watching.
So no, it’s not a sad ending. I think they end up alone. Abandoned. Bitter. Angry. Broke. Addicted.
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Once they get old they lose their charm,charisma and their looks,which will basically make things harder for them to manipulate people.
But keep in mind no matter how old they are never out of supplies.They have both primary,secondary and tertiary supplies always.
And they also have the people outside who have no idea who that person is since they don’t know them.Even though they might lack the looks since they are old they will manipulate the people from the outside with their caring soul and good character that also feeds them fuel,it’s a really infinit cycle they will always find a way to get supplies because without that they will self destruct.
So to answer your question no they are unable to love anyone including themselves and they will always get bored no matter what.Even if they settle down they will make the primary source of supply aka the significant other live hell and eventually the significant other will leave them or lose their sanity enslaving themselves to the Narcissist.
The only person that gets to see their true face is their significant other and their family.The family won’t give up from that person since it’s their blood and the significant other.Basically the people that tend to spend the most time with them.
The others around friends etc,they will never see their true face because they won’t get that much time to spend time with them and the people around them basically the strangers will always know them as the caring/lovely/humble character.
But no matter what the disease itself is not curable,so no matter who they manipulate they will never find happiness,nothing will fill their emptiness and constant pain,with one word they don’t possess the ability to feel good on their skin,so if you are unable to feel good on your skin no person will fill that for you in this world,if you are unable to accept yourself the way you are and love yourself the way you are no person will fill that pain for you. So it’s pointless.
Wish you the best of luck!
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-to-a-narcissist-as-he-gets-old-Will-he-settle-with-anyone-rather-than-be-alone-or-just-get-worse
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Why is a narcissist horrible
to me but nice to
everyone else?
Because the narcissist is always trying to impress people. He doesn’t feel he has to impress those that know him really well, because you literally know him really well, so he can’t pull one over on you. Strangers are their favorite targets. They can make up any outlandish persona and tell any whopper of a tale and the stranger will believe it. It’s all part of the game. It’s totally temporary, as they get to know each other, his games will fail and then she’ll know the real guy and he’ll stop impressing her too.
The bigger question in your question is, “why do you let him treat you like garbage”. I know life is really complicated and it’s hard to walk out, but at some point, you have to decide that you matter. If you have to swallow your pride and ask family to help you or save money in a sock for a year, you have to make a plan or you will be an old lady taking care of a selfish old man.
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Because the person who is nice to everyone else is his false face. The person who mistreats you is the real face. The narcissist has two sides: one for the world, the other for victims.
As his victim, he has invested effort into you. He has gotten you on his hook. Think of all that time he spent “love bombing” you. Lying to be the perfect person — all just for you!! That was time consuming, hard work pretending to be your perfect person. He did it for you!!! (Aren't you *so* lucky!) That was his false face chasing you. You got attracted to his public false face bait like everyone does. You fell in his snare. He's hungry now. And he wants to feed — on you. Victimizing you is now his meal, his “supply,” his reward for successfully deceiving you.
So basically he wants a payoff for his efforts. The other people were not so “fortunate.” You were. Payment is victimizing you. This helps puff up his ego seeing you admire him while he victimizes and destroys you. Do you realize he is proud of this — here he is destroying you bit-by-bit, day-by-day, and you are loving him still. That's his “supply.” He expects you to nourish him. You were his prey. He baited the trap. He spent time snaring you. Now he wants to feed. And that's when you see his fangs. Aren't you lucky!!!
You still don't know everything, yet. As you have begun to question him, you are now an offense to him. How dare you deny him! After all that work, how dare you spoil it for him! Stop being selfish! You are a bad person. Now you deserve what he does to hurt you. Because when you don't allow his victimization after *all* his efforts, that is exactly his view. You are bad and he is good. Twisted. Of course it is. But not to the narcissist.
It's his view point of you, himself, and the world. You were lucky to have him. Now you are a witch. You are ruining a good thing. It's all *your* fault. Any wrong he does to you is now justified. And he never did any wrong in the past? Not in his eyes he didn't. He can't see himself in the mirror. All he sees is you and the insult you have done him. You are to be blamed. He is feeling righteous anger and resentment. And when he lashes out, justifiably in his mind, he will need a cover. That's the other reason for is false face.
He wants everyone else to think he is a nice guy. So he will be nice to them. You’ve seen it. Remember how pleasant he was? Mr. Wonderful! That false face you met before the “love bombing” started? That false face is a way to attract other victims or “flying monkeys,” although I call them “familiars.” They help him victimize others. And the first victimization was demeaning you secretly, and he's been bad mouthing you to others, but telling them even with all these bad things, he still loves you. Isn't he so nice!
And that false face also helps because he wants others to think you are bad/crazy. It's part of the “gaslighting.” He knows at some point you are going to complain. When you do, he will say … “you know I’m nice guy, right. Haven’t I told you all the *krap* she’s putting me through and I’ve taken it cause I want to be nice. She's crazy.” That's him playing victim, so you appear ungrateful. Again, all part of the “gaslighting.”
That’s why he’s been bad mouthing you all along, while garnering their support and appreciation for being so *nice* to you. It's his cloak. He wears it to charm others while he destroys you. They become his willing troop of “flying monkeys.” They will tell this vampire more bad things about you or share whatever bad things he has said about you with others. And watch him use that against you to make you feel bad about yourself.
Any self-doubt, any personal weakness, or regretful personal failure and he will slam it into your face to put you in your subordinate place. All the while this victimization is love to him.
This kind of perversion is something only a victim will truly understand, because he will serve it as love. Well love like that, who needs enemies — you're sleeping with one. So now you have some idea of what you are dealing with.
Here is the thing: you’re not going to win. Not only has he been doing this for a long time - to you, to others, but he is a natural. He wasn’t born this way, but that might as well be the case. He’s been at it that long. Your best bet is to walk away and never look back. (And forget revenge. Three problems: he will lie in ways you’ll never be able to; he has “flying monkeys” — people who will come to his aide — you won’t; and he’s an expert, who will not hesitate, will not reconsider, will feel no remorse, or doubt. You will and he’ll prey on that. Remember in his warped worldview, you are the bad person, not him.)
Now my remarks say “he.” Narcs come in both sexes. And they victimize people of the same sex or of the opposite sex. It makes no difference. H*ll, I’m told they’ll even do both sexes if it’s good supply. It’s got nothing to do with love. It’s all about them. So this isn’t a slam on anyone other than the narc. Again, it has nothing to do with love - it is all about adoration, self-gratification, and control. That's narcacistic “supply.”
“Supply” is a combination of getting your admiration and their ability to victimize you. Both make them feel better about themselves. Who it is makes no difference.
By now, I hope you realze you are in the middle of a war. So it is not the time to analyze, rationalize, or soul search. Now is the time to leave. After the escape, go to therapy or some support group and then analyze/soul search and find yourself again. And if he tries to win you back, aka “hoover,” watch out. Stay away. That's why you need therapy or a support group. (You must break the psychological “trauma bond,” he has over you — that's a real thing and it happens to victims).
Try to consider his deception: if you are such a bad person and he is *so* good, why waste his time on you? Tell him to move on. Reality is he can't. He's addicted to victimizing you. And he will claim that is love. The vampire cannot see his reflection in the mirror. He doesn't see himself as darkness without soul because a vampire is what he really is. Think about it: He has fangs. He has a cloak. He has familiaries (aka flying monkeys), and he sucks your life blood.
So that is what all narcs are: vampires. Is that who you want to be near? Get in the sunlight and stay there. Going to them or near them is bad news. There are good people who know what you are dealing with. They've been there. *They* are your people now, not this vampire. They will give you a framework to understand and language to talk about what happened, how to process, and recover. They can also help you stay away.
PS
By the way, this is not academic. It's the voice of experience.
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They’re only superficially kind. They put on a show of kindness and of being a good person, because they want other people who don’t know them well, to think well of them. But let any of those people spend any significant amount of time around the narcissist, and they will be subjected to the same nightmare that the narcissist is subjecting you to. You’re just close enough to see the real monster that they are.
Narcissists like to lure you in with a show of being this great person, so that you’ll let down your guard and start giving them things. They want to get you to trust them so that they can trap you and use you. You trusting them equals you letting them use you, in their book.
So always remember, there is no true kindness in a narcissist. They are cruel to the core and they respect no one, not even life itself. Don’t be fooled by the charming facade - there is nothing good inside a narcissist.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-a-narcissist-horrible-to-me-but-nice-to-everyone-else
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They die alone bc even if you love them you cant
stand them for more than 5 minutes a week.
The Aging Narcissist:
What Happens as They Get Older
@heide-raquelfuss5580
4 months ago
Everybody sees my old mother as such a nice woman.
If they only knew...how she treated me all her life and my father.
@zepgirl6495
4 months ago
My ex would rage on me with his yelling, cursing, bullying and threats of physical harm. Then within a matter of seconds say something like "would you like to go get something to eat" as if nothing had happened. Even after threatening my life, he said, "oh, you know we are going to be together for the rest of our lives". He had absolutely no self awareness and that is what made it so frightening and dangerous.
@staceyholderfield1330
3 months ago
It was the eye's..
That stare, black and empty. Felt like pure evil. Never forget it..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYD37yyCXXY
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They bait you then when you react to the bait,
they call you crazy!
The Narcissist's Most Sadistic
Abuse Tactic: Reactive Abuse
@Zurvan101
3 months ago
Reactive abuse is evil, it's a form of gaslighting that the abuser uses to absolve themselves of responsibility for the abuse that they are conducting.
@familylifescienceeducation5227
3 months ago (edited)
Unless you've experienced it, it is hard to believe. Someone will literally pretend to hate what is good about you, wreck you with negativity, then mimic all things good about you, all the while telling people lies about you saying you were acting like they were actually being.
@steadypace1262
3 months ago
To top it all off the abuser convinces themselves that they are the real victim and you are the real abuser. Narcissists are mentally deranged they believe in their own lies till the end of their days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzIt_MAzscU
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Insidiously, they walk among us acting like angels.
Is Narcissism a
Human Evil?
@persiamotorman
10 days ago
The Sociopath I know has been in prison nearly two years. He was told "no" by his landlord and in retaliation he set fire to the apartment building. He could have cared less about how that could have potentially killed everyone who lived there. This was in Baton Rouge. The reporter wrote about it and said that he said this upon being arrested to the police "You ruined my life!" They only care about themselves. Period.
@spacegirl226
10 days ago
Human evil? No, I wouldn't call it human evil. But it's spiritual evil. Possession, influence by demons and evil beings. Narcissism and narcissistic behaviors span too many cultural differences, language differences, geographical differences, etc. to be basic human evil. It is evil absolutely, but I don't think it's human evil -- human beings are the vessels for The Spirit.
@user-qv9nw1dq2f
10 days ago
It is so true. Malignant narcissists are human evil and I totally agree with that. The criteria fit perfectly. I also agree that once we know and understand what we have been dealing with, our healing journey gets easier to navigate. Thank you. God bless you
@fenderblue9485
10 days ago
Thank you. I woke up to a narcissist rage and came across your video. I also suffer from my grown child with evil due to living with her evil dad. Over decades I have been in therapy which have learned about these evil selfish people. My question is, why did I turn out to have overwhelming empathy and just want joy and happiness at no expense?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-x1dJeFGVY
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When God Doesn't Want You
To Be With A Narcissist, These
Things Will Happen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD_RW_DazqQ
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Why does a narcissist blame their victim for everything?
Blaming others is the only way a narcissist can avoid responsibility. They project their own behaviours onto others because they cannot consider that they are at fault. Their self esteem is so sensitive, that they would suffer too much to admit to themselves they have done anything wrong. Deep down they hate themselves. This is fundamental to the disorder, because they were taught in very early childhood that they are not worthy of love and are not acceptable.
Consider any time you might have done something that hurt someone else, and ask yourself how hard it was to admit your behaviour and apologise to that person. This is difficult for anyone to do, however we feel better when we have done what we can to right the wrong.
A narcissist is not able to take this step. It would mean accepting that they are defective, in their own mind.
____________________________________
The Narcissist will blame you because self preservation is a major motivation, they will sacrifice you,smear you, and even go as far as throwing you away to prove you are to blame. It is also out of power and control.
The more they blame you the more you will doubt your own thoughts and reality until you go crazy. Eventually this blame will have you doubting yourself and you can become dependent on the Narcissist to paint reality for you until you are feeble and broken. In a nutshell they do not have empathy for you and how their behavior causes major harm. The big question is how did we stay so long? We knew they were blaming the victim (me). How did we allow that?
___________________________________
Because the Narcissist's life mantra is quite brutally blunt, but very well hidden.
“My way or the highway"!
Control is everything.
Followed by your adoration, for their validation.
100% attention for them
Zero for you
All take, take, take…. no give.
What this really means is this:
They demand access to everything.
Sex
ATM. And credit cards.
Status.
Services. Internet, food, water, shelter.
Fun. For them, at least.
Status. Yours, obviously.
Isolation. Of you.
The world is their oyster. You are the grit. The irritant. So, you are to blame!
They are pearl. So shiny, and bright. They could never be the reason for anything going wrong. Ever!
Quite simple really. They are the victim. Not you.
Welcome to their unreal world. Feels so good…NOT!
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Narcissists cannot deal with shame. They do not have the psychological mechanisms to process it whatsoever. It drips like acid upon their fragile psyche and threatens to bring the whole thing down.
Let's take a simple example — the narcissist needs to go somewhere in a hurry, but has misplaced their keys.
While furiously searching for them, they jump to the conclusion that their stupid spouse has forgotten to put them back (dissociate) no, they have maliciously hidden them just to ruin their day.
But then all of a sudden, there the keys are, where they left them.
A normal person would feel shame, embarrassment, would process it, accept responsibility and vow to look more closely next time.
Not the narcissist.
They are now stuck with shame at making the wrong judgement, something they are neurologically unable to process. The shame will cause a psychotic episode if left unchecked — it will burn through the grandiose perfect self, and there is nothing whatsoever underneath, but madness.
The narcissist must defer blame or go insane, there is no other choice. Their whole life has been built around their False Self, there is no memory of anything else — the construction began before the child became self conscious, before they had any memory of anything at all.
You are either God or you aren't, and if the narcissist is not God, then their whole life is a lie, and there is nothing to fall back on but insanity, madness, mental breakdown.
In jumps the false self to save the day, by essentially making up some insane garbage.
The the false self will then pick over a list of the IO's faults, failures, mistakes, broken promises and find one to attribute the narcissists failure to find the keys to.
Perhaps they forgot to take the garbage out
Perhaps they didn't get that raise they said they were going to
Perhaps they criticized one of their spurious flights of fancy
Perhaps even they had put the keys somewhere else, but the insignificant other moved them back to the normal spot, just to mess with them.
Whatever the case, it is never their fault, it can never be their fault.
There was a reason they couldn't find the keys so quickly, a reason they attributed the theft to the insignificant other and that reason was of course Insignificant other.
The insignificant other needs to pay for their mistake, and they will.
Later that night the insignificant other, much to their confusion gets home to a silent treatment.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-blame-their-victim-for-everything?no_redirect=1
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Is it possible to make a narcissist suffer?
The narcissist suffers without you
The narcissist manipulated, abused, and lied to you. You heard empty promises, and he used gaslighting until he finally rejected you and compared you to a new source of supply. It was all a facade—a narcissist's sick game. The narcissist is unhappy and suffering without you.
Remember how dissatisfied and unhappy he was when he was in a relationship with you. He transferred and projected all his pain and traumas onto you, and you absorbed it all to make it easier for him.
If you are wondering how a narcissist feels when he is no longer around you, he feels exhausted, inadequate, and powerless.
Don’t feel sorry for the narcissist, because he will use it against you.
_______________________________
Oh yes, it sure is. There are different ways to do this. From straight out ignoring them and living your best life (to them, this feels like they were never important to you and you’re unbothered- feels like a death for them), or actually doing to them what they’ve done to you (work to ruin their life and expose them in a way that they cannot vindictively repay you for this).
Narcissists are attention whores. They need to know they can control you, that they are important to you and that you are miserable at the hand of their actions and words against you. This makes them happy. For them to be unhappy- you must take away the following:
Your emotions (if a stranger on the street were to treat you poorly, it wouldn’t stick with you because you don’t know them. The narcissist is not who they portrayed themselves to be- therefore, the true self is a stranger to you. Act accordingly) your reactions (tears, upset, hurt, belief in what they say, any happiness that comes from the falsehoods they tell you, etc)
Your conversation (don’t deal with them at all. Block them on every possible communication platform. If you MUST communicate, make it as transactional and emotionless as possible. Only speak about the business at hand and if they try to make you talk about anything further, cut the conversation short.
Your attention -you owe the narcissist nothing , no explanation for why you’ve changed and no weaning of your affection… cold turkey and that’s it.
Your “going the extra mile” - narcissists have a habit of having you inadvertently proving yourself to them. They do this by accusing you of things or behaviors that simply aren’t true… in hopes that you second guess yourself and start proving to them that they have it all wrong. But the reality is, they know your intentions and your heart- which is why you were targeted. Be done with doing anything more for them that what may be required (i.e task at work if the narc is your supervisor)
Your Thoughts and plans - the narc stays steps ahead because you’ve disclosed to them what you’re thinking, feeling and what your future plans are. Whether immediate or long term, it’s none of their felafeling business. Keep your “head on a swivel” , which means, be aware of what you disclose and if you tell anything, make sure it’s a trap - not really what you’re thinking or feeling.
___________________________________
Yes, by ignoring a narcissist. But you can't beat a narcissist. They have been destroyed since childhood and they use this destruction as a defense mechanism to avoid feeling their own pain.
Pray for their liberation, trying to harm them does not make you better than the narcissist. Forgiving them will.
I lived with a narcissist for 10 years. I know what I'm talking about. It's not worth your energy. Use your energy to rebuild your life instead of destroying. You are not destroying the narcissist, you are destroying yourself by working into his/her energy. I know it's f*cking hard, but are you going to make the difference for a better, more beautiful world?
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-make-a-narcissist-suffer
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Do narcissists know when they have pushed you too far?
Yes, they do. When you have had enough and decide to leave for good, they will know. You must be clear and firm, showing no signs of vulnerability. Narcissists are very good at reading body language, so if you show any weakness, they will use it against you. But if you don’t, they will understand you mean it.
Here’s what I did after many failed attempts: I told him it was over, clearly and firmly. I had done this before, so this time I made sure it was different. I told his friends (who would report back to him) that I was serious. Then, I told all our mutual friends not to mention him to me or discuss me with him. This was like blocking all contact. The result was a complete communication blackout. He got the message loud and clear—no more contact ever. This made him furious because he couldn't mess with my head anymore, which is part of the fun for them. Feel free to adapt this approach; it worked well for me.
Narcissists are unpleasant, self-obsessed, and harmful. They damage people. That’s why I am on a mission to educate everyone about narcissism and its dangers. My short answers only cover small parts of the topic. It's a big subject, and understanding it properly will help you deal with narcissists, whether they are relatives or partners. You’ll learn to see the warning signs and avoid them. Educating yourself about narcissism is essential for a better, narc-free life. Once you know one narcissist, you’ll recognize them all.
_________________________________
Yeah! They know it, 100 %.
You might even get laughed at when you finally lose your temper on the mfker.
Narx love to think they are holding a game controller to your emotions.
The first time you lose your temper… that's when ALL the fun begins!
Now, everything from here on out, is ALL your fault!
YOU have hurt the nark!
It doesn't matter, that the nark can't go a single day without yelling at you and calling you stupid…
YOU finally exploded on the nark, yelled at it, AND called it, a nasty ass, vile little Troll, and the nark shall never forgive you!
Boo F*cking hoo! They are weak af!
They can dish it ALL out but want to cry like a little Irma Grese, when you treat them exactly how they've treated you.
The Nark is ALWAYS the innocent bystander, YOU are the one who pushed the nark too far.
Your behavior, has made the nark realize, that you were the worst human being on the face of the earth!
There is nothing good about you!! You are a liar, a phony, a fraudulent living b*tch from HELL!
Be gone Satan!
You are the one who's a narcissist!
The Nark Hates your F*cking guts!
All because, you called the nark out on its behavior and it just can't deal with your combative bullshit anymore!
You're a witch, and you're still a stupid Irma Grese!
It's over, you wanna know why ? BECAUSE OF YOU!!!
SO... F*CK YOU B*TCH!!
There are 20 other women, just waiting for the Nark to be free of you and they are ALL better!
The End!
Narx suck ass!!!
There is absolutely no getting it thru their thick heads, cause they did it on purpose.
Like a little villainous child playing a game.
They play dumb, act like they can't see the forest thru the tree's.
It's a cop out, they refuse to take responsibility cause they are weak, boring and stupid af.
It will only frustrate the living shite out of you to try and hold the nark accountable.
You can't reason with a pathological liar.
You'll end up wanting to bash their FELAFEL U king brains out, just trying to get a point across.
Even if you make your point, they just won't ever admit to shite!
To save your soul, and your sanity and just say, felafel it!
The End!
Narcissists have ODD, oppositional defiant disorder. A disorder found in children but narx never grow out of it.
A spoiled, petulant child, is all that they bring to the table.
Give up, white flag, surrender, check please, peace out, c ya, where's the emergency exit!?!
The End!!!
Bye Troll!!! xoxo xoxo xoxo
_____________________________________
Certainly. As you can see, many people will try to get closure with the narcissist. That in and of itself will suggest to them that they have pushed you too far. You’re basically willing to accept that it’s over, you just want to know why.
Another way they can tell is when you start setting boundaries. Start standing up for yourself. Stop buying into their false persona and start calling them out. They will soon realize the game is up and you’re wising up to their behaviors.
_____________________________________
Narcissists often have a limited ability to empathize with others, which can affect their awareness of how their actions impact those around them. While they may not fully understand or care about the emotional toll they take on others, some narcissists can recognize when they have pushed someone too far, especially if it leads to negative consequences for themselves, such as losing control over a situation or facing backlash.
In many cases, their focus is primarily on their own needs and desires, so they may continue their behavior until it jeopardizes their interests. This lack of self-awareness and empathy can make it difficult for them to gauge the emotional state of others accurately. Ultimately, their recognition of having crossed a line may depend on their individual personality traits, the context of the situation, and their motivations.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-when-they-have-pushed-you-too-far
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A narcissist claims that the new supply knows everything. Why?
There is always the most obvious reason for this, staring us right in the face. And that is the narcissist most likely attempting to provoke you so that you reach out to the new supply.
If you reach out to the new supply, you are providing the narcissist with more supply.
You, the new supply, and the narcissist. They just love "love" triangles. Now he has you chatting up the new supply and talking about him, and relishing in his harem putting so much attention on him.
If the new supply already knows everything, then she wouldn't be with him.
If she is still with him, then she is not worthy of even talking to at this point.
I've been quite harsh on narcissists in my posts, but we also need to take accountability for our actions. Not a lot of people like this, and I had one woman get mad at me on a recent post. Should I sugar coat my writings? Should I say “oh, bad narcissist, manipulating women into these silly games.” (?)
The truth is that some people also enjoy these games. Women also enjoy the drama and "excitement" of talking to the new supply, the old supply, et cetera.
Once you know the game, it should disgust you. The new supply is responsible now for her own outcome if she already "knows everything."
___________________________________
Bullshit !!! New supply has no ides they are being used !!! It's a game, your playing their rules, their ideas !! Narcissist play on people's souls…They will be so kind, loving, caring ?!! They need something from you ! Or you to do something for them….
Then switch over to the real nasty person they truly are…The worst part is your a pawn in a game you have no idea you were playing…
Narcissist know exactly what they are doing do not kid yourself, they are that good !
P.s. Do not believe anything a narcissist states… Remove yourself from their presence and move on, if not your life will be full of drama, chaos, gaslighting and more…It's a exhausting life to live…
____________________________________
They hate you, and are trying to hurt you or make you jealous by triangulation. They’re pathological liars. My question though, is why the hell are you talking to a narcissist about anything? They both should be blocked everywhere and you should go total NO Contact. Then you wouldn’t even have to worry about stupid sh!t like this.
______________________________________
I know this one well….true statement would be ,the new supply knows everything the narcissist wants them to know. They want you to think they've changed for new supply, whereas you weren't worth changing for. It's just another statement designed to put you down because they do enjoy the look of hurt in your eyes. Just laugh at them because honestly they are a joke, nothing real there at all.
___________________________________
That's just another trick and gaslighting tactic by the narcissist. The narc wants you to think he has this full and open relationship with their current supply, just so you will think its your fault that the relationship went bad when you were the main squeeze. If the narcs new relationship were so great, he wouldn't still be contacting you!
Don't forget the reason the relationship ended with you and the narc is because he was a liar, cheater, all around ruthless son of a Irma Grese, & raging lunatic. The narcissist does not all of a sudden, have the ability to treat the new supply any better than he did you.
https://www.quora.com/A-narcissist-claims-that-the-new-supply-knows-everything-Why
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What will a narcissist do when you start treating them the way they treat you?
1. Rage-Filled Shock.
When you mirror their behavior, a narcissist reacts with shock and rage. But the shock they experience is not genuine surprise. Instead, it's a reaction to the fact that their tactics are no longer working.
They see you as a weak, naive doormat that has no voice of its own and is okay with being taken advantage of. They're used to manipulating and controlling you, but when they can no longer do so, they feel powerless and vulnerable, which pushes them to try reasserting their control through anger, intimidation, or manipulation.
2. Escalate Their Abuse.
When you show them the mirror, they do not like what they see. They become more abusive, manipulative, punitive, vengeful, dramatic, distant, and more narcissistic. They may withhold essential resources, file unnecessary court motions, create unnecessary issues to keep churning you, and destroy your peace. They may also use their power and influence to isolate you from friends and family or sabotage your career or reputation.
3. Emotional Revivification.
They may resort to emotional revivification to re-gain control. They may use past events to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them or to justify their abusive behavior. They may also play the victim and elicit sympathy from you by claiming they are deeply hurt or offended by your behavior, even if it directly reflects their actions.
4. Portrayal Of Victimhood.
They may shift the focus away from their own behavior by becoming the victim to turn you into a monster and a villain. They may deny their wrongdoings and make your reaction to their abuse the center of focus. They may use this portrayal of victimhood to alienate and isolate you from everyone by presenting a single snapshot from the entire series of events, not the context or the whole story.
5. Label You With A Disorder.
They may label you with a disorder to make every issue in the relationship your fault. They may call you bipolar, a narcissist, or claim you have a borderline personality disorder to wash their hands off from taking responsibility. They may even spread false stories about you to tarnish your name and make you look like a crazy person.
____________________________________
They all respond differently but what I've seen is anger and outrage. They'll have the nerve to act (and yes, it is an ACT) offended, appalled, even hurt. Some will put on an Oscar worthy performance and pull out the body chalk to play their usual role…the victim.
How they truly feel, no one knows. But I do know they feel anger and outrage. They know they treat you exactly the same way but their parasitic minds no longer functions like a human beings.
Normally, this would be a great way to learn empathy because it allows a person to experience their own behavior. For some people, that's more than enough to make them see the error of their ways because they will feel what you felt and feel horrible for making you feel that way.
And because they love you, they'll work on changing this behavior because they never want to make you feel that way again. THIS is what a person with a conscience, a moral compass, and who actually loves you would do because they are capable of remorse and feeling empathy.
Therein is the problem…not a narcissist. They are incapable and unwilling to even try to have empathy. They don't feel guilt for their actions because they're incapable of remorse. They know they hurt you and deep down, they even know they're wrong and guilty for what they've done, but they will have no moral conflict because they have no conscience. They know, they just don't care.
So if you're treating them the way they treat you to try and teach them a lesson, it will be a grand failure. If you're doing it as a form of revenge or getting them back, it'll just create further problems because they will find a way to use this against you.
They're never gonna change. Nothing will make them change. The best way to teach a narcissist a lesson and get revenge on them is to cut them out of your life like the cancer they are. Permanently. Gone. Goodbye. Never speak to them again or even acknowledge them.
They don't love you. They're incapable of love and don't even have the desire for love. They're heartless monsters, in spite what the delusional enablers and sympathizers tell you. They will never change. There is not even a glimmer of hope. If you need proof, reality is the best proof.
There has never been a single successful case of effective treatment in NPD, let alone rehabilitation. Even if it were possible, you'd never get them to accept treatment willingly because they see nothing wrong with the way they are and have no desire to change.
There is no medicine or amount of therapy and counseling that will suddenly make the heartless have a heart. Once your conscience and moral compass are gone, there is no coming back from that.
___________________________________
Listen, let me save you a lot of time and and heartache.
Stop trying to figure out why a narcissist does the things they do. You'll drive yourself crazy trying to beat them, and really all you've done is given them attention. Narcissist take any attention, negative or positive, as equal. They simply have no empathy and do not care. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it. You can't change a narcissist.
You're gonna have to toughen up and take the pain. Its gonna happen eventually, and only time will heal your heart and mind. Why delay it any longer? The dog is in misery, shoot it. I really care, that's why I take the time to answer these questions. I lived it, like yourself. Btw, the answer to your question, and this is only in my own experience.
Behaving like him back makes no difference. They just gas light you ,or word cluster f*ck you to total exhaustion, where you just give up! They somehow flip it around and win again. Imagine how you will feel after loosing to them at their own game? Stop the madness!
https://www.quora.com/What-will-a-narcissist-do-when-you-start-treating-them-the-way-they-treat-you
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:offtopic:
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Ways to TORTURE A Narcissist Must Watch
Do you find yourself struggling with a narcissist who just won’t relent? In this video, we explore effective strategies to disrupt and unsettle a narcissist’s carefully crafted facade.
From exposing their vulnerabilities to using their own tactics against them, discover practical and psychological methods to take control and regain your peace. Learn how to outwit the narcissist and reclaim your power. Watch now to find out how you can effectively manage and counteract their manipulative behaviors!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt1Hpv5zpqs
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:tello: "This is exactly what is happening to me.
F*ck you, Sherry!"
Why Narcissists Abandon
Their Loved Ones (in the cruelest ways possible)
The Twisted Truth to why narcissist abandon their loved ones, in the cruelest ways possible. As harsh the reality is, it’s too within acceptance that lies the foundation to begin healing. This video discusses the reasons why narcissists abandon their loved ones, including their distorted self-perception, need for control, and use of manipulative tactics to maintain a false image.
Narcissists do not truly love others, but rather see them as tools to serve their own interests. The pain and confusion caused by their cruel behavior and the challenges of dealing with individuals who lack empathy and compassion, and who manipulate and exploit others for their own gain.
Despite the difficulty in facing this reality, the video emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance, setting boundaries, and reclaiming one's power and confidence. You truly deserve and are worth so much more.
Nix the Narcissist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPsX97m3juo
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When do narcissists
abandon you?
After they have destroyed your life and devoured you so completely to a point you don’t exist even to yourself…they are done and are convinced they’ve depleted your resources and there is no more of you to feed off of then they cast you aside like a used up piece of worthless trash and could care less if you live or die because your dead to them, then they go behind your back and tell everyone that you did something so very bad to them and that they’re going to leave you..welcome to the reality of what they really are: EVIL to the core.
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Well its true, they leave when they find someone else.
What leads up to the discard is a combination of outside influences, and boredom. Tired of being stuck in a relationship, tired of rejecting opposite sex to stay committed, tired of having responsibilities. Just straight up tired. And they are tired of their current spouse being on their ass about their responsibilities.
They don't want that anymore, so they bail for someone who has no baggage like a family. And when the narc leaves, they leave baggage behind with the spouse and they jump into bed with the new person. So the narc actually has more to gain from leaving at the time.
But I've said it once before, you cannot just sweep everything under the rug and act like there's going to be no consequences because that's usually what happens. The narc runs off into the sunset while there old life crumbles, and they think if they run far enough it will never catch up to them.
Ask every narc that I know whos 40 plus. Now they struggle more than ever. They jump from man to man or woman to woman, less and less people want them because of the baggage that they have that caught up to them.
Their debt is so high, they cannot live on their own because they have no career, they have no car because they cannot afford it. They can no longer please the opposite sex because they have been used for it too much.
They are just a straight mess. I have seen it over and over, once that great girl or guy, the one who waited years for them. The one who supported them was always there and put up with all their sh*t and still never left. Once they move on, there's the narc having a break down and begging for them back. It happens every time.
And to answer your question for real, the narc abandoned you the moment you got into a relationship with them. Its up to you to make the final discard actually final.
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You will be let go when you prove your strength and resilience are greater than theirs. When you demonstrate your sharp intelligence and intuition are no match for their lies and deceit. They will leave you alone once you’ve proven your boundaries and expectations are no longer flexible and easily manipulated.
You will scare them off with your self love and commitment to a better life. The family and friends you have gathered around you will intimidate them.
They will push and pull at you trying to break you down. They will charm you and promise you the world. They will tantrum like you’ve never seen before. This is their struggle. Let them struggle. It needs to be done as they process that you’re now above them. You are immune to them and choose to no longer participate in their awful games.
The embarrassment they will feel each time you turn them away will burn and with each burn they’ll be that much closer to the end. This is when they start moving up the second and third supplies. It’s just a matter of time now…
They will go. As they should as you’ve emotionally grown out of them. There is no longer a place for them in your life.
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A narcissist will abandon you when you no longer serve their purpose. Put your focus, love, adoration on yourself and you will see just how fast they will abandon you. When you can see their bullshit for what it is, they must move on to people that dont. Their very existence depends on people believing their bullshit.
They will abandon you in your time of need. How dare you get sick? Or need support of any kind. You are expected to support yourself and them and when you no longer are compliant with this arrangement, then you are of no use to them anymore.
As cold hearted as this may sound, don’t take it personal. You literally could be anybody in the universe as long as you serve their purpose. They don’t love you for you. They only love what you do for them. Anybody that will stand there and watch you rip your own heart out trying to prove to them you love them, does not care about you. They only care about the fact that you’re willing to rip your heart out for them. Ultimate supply.
Take your power back. It is never to late in the game to do so. The ONLY way to get back at these people is to choose you. They are never going to and you are your responsibility anyway. Don’t put your life in the hands of someone that does not even care who you are, only what you are to them. Don’t look for validation from people that have no clue who you even are.
https://www.quora.com/When-do-narcissists-abandon-you
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Why does the narcissist want to see you destroyed in life? What do they gain from it?
Narcissists behave this way for several reasons:
One reason for their behavior is what we call a "Dumping Move." The narcissist dumps all the blame and negativity onto one person to keep themselves looking good. It's like throwing all the garbage into a trash bin to keep the house clean.
Another reason is to make you appear unreliable if the narcissist suspects that you know something about them. This tactic is mainly used to make the narcissist feel better and safer. They want to ensure that nobody will believe you or see you as a credible judge of their actions. It's not a personal attack on the real you.
Sometimes, their behavior is driven by the narcissist's desire to be superior to others. They put others down in order to feel above them. It's not necessarily about destroying you specifically, but rather about maintaining their own sense of superiority.
It's important to remember that their actions are not really about you. You're dealing with someone who has a disorder and is dysfunctional. The narcissist's world revolves completely around themselves, which makes it difficult to understand. Whatever the narcissist is doing, it's about them.
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Because they build a delusion in their mind that you deserve it. That you’re public enemy number one because you misled them into believing that you’d be the best servant who would deliver on every wish, shower them with complements and devote every second of every minute of every hour to unquestioningly serving their needs.
That’s what they’re entitled to and that’s what they deserve. BUT they don’t have it now because they chose you and you’ve failed to fulfil your duties. Everything is now a disaster and it’s all your fault. How dare you want a life. How dare you have interests and hobbies. How dare you have opinions about anything. How dare you expect to have friends and stay in contact with family members.
How dare you talk about anything but them. How dare you expect them to make any contribution to your life, childcare or their personal upkeep. How dare you spend a penny of the money that you earn on yourself. How dare you expect any kindness, love and affection you weak, pathetic, useless, worthless, overly emotional loser. Robbing them of their rights constitutes abuse! You now need to be punished and there’s no punishment that’s too bad for you.
What do they gain from it? Closure - once your life is destroyed they’ve finished dishing out the only punishment that you deserve for letting them down so completely and robbing them of their entitlement to be served. Their work is now done.
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Envy. They were attracted to you because you have qualities that they don’t have (and never will ), so they hate you for it. Everything about you makes them jealous and burn with envy. If they can’t have what you have then you don’t deserve to have it.
Your good qualities make you become their target and they will spend every minute of every day planning and plotting how to take “it” all away from you.
Your “it” factor could be your job, your looks, your car, your home, the way you smile. The fact that you have friends or a close family. It could be your hair or the fact you are a positive person.
Anything good about you irks them. They will only feel happy when you are in pain.
The ultimate pay back is for them to destroy you completely! Then they can say in their wicked hearts that you are no better than they are.
They want you hollow and will do everything in their power to make you an empty shell.
Narcissistic individuals are tormented people. The only emotion they feel is rage. The hate, envy, jealousy and destruction go hand in hand.
If you are able to get away from a person that you believe has targeted you for destruction, please do it now and do it quickly.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-the-narcissist-want-to-see-you-destroyed-in-life-What-do-they-gain-from-it
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Page 22 :dance:
What is the first sign that you have won against a narcissist?
I am a little surprised that people are saying that you cannot ‘win’ with a narcissist. They are, in fact, the easiest victory in the world. They are slaves to their ego and keeping the mask up and also suffer from profound insecurity.
They do not feel positive emotions like we do but they certainly are dominanted by negative ones, rage, jealousy, ect…
Once you have some experience with them and identify them, they can be hilariously easy to control. The key of course is not being emotionally invested in any way shape or form.
When they call say something like “I'm talking to somebody.. It's real important I'll call you back” Then never call back. They will undoubtedly call after waiting as long as they can and say ‘hey you said you were going to call me back”.. Response: “I totally forgot anyway let me tell you about this amazing thing that happened to me” (be sure to not even give the whiff that you would ever apologize).
Your doing this to help them. That's the motivation. Your super nice as always which will drive them nuts because you appear to be the same codependent fuel source but they can't get their hooks into you.
It's amazing, sometimes they seem to change and all the rage and craziness disappears and they are back to being complimentary and generous but that's just them changing tactics. Take advantage of it, take what they offer and give nothing in return and be sure to act like you were entitled to it. (in no way even hint at a thank you.)
Watching the narcissist try different approaches with you becomes very very amusing as you slowly cause them to doubt their ability. When possible point out how average or ordinary or boring their appearance/car/clothes/house /boat is and praise something bigger or better you saw elsewhere.
They will go to another fuel source to check that their game is still there but your actions will ALWAYS cause them to doubt themselves because of the constant and pervasive insecurity.
My absolute favorite is their attempt to apologize. When they get really desperate that is when the non apology apology gets used. The classic is I'm sorry if YOU felt hurt/upset ect.. The best answer is “I'm not hurt or upset my happiness depends upon me so I'm not clear what you are apologizing for?” They will squirm as you slowly walk them into a corner where the only thing they can apologize for is their own actions and behavior. It's freaking hilarious!
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Winning against the narcissist. The person who was your universe. The person who made you feel cherished, protected and loved. The person you felt so comfortable with. Shared your dreams about the future and your hurts of the past. The lover you trusted with your body. The soulmate you gave your heart to.
The one who you could not wait to talk to in the morning or snuggle to sleep with at night. They were your home. They housed your soul, your essence, your light. The broken parts we asked them to kiss and repair. The hope that is nestled in us, the joy we radiate, the love that knows no bounds, the inner sweet child was led gently by the hand and we whispered, "you can trust them.
We gave all of us freely to them. How do you win for you? This should be the question. How do we give the love, trust, hopefulness back to us ? Where do we find our light again ? We feel after such horrific and inhuman abuse that we are damaged. That we must prove ourselves. Our very dwelling is wrapped up in what the narcissistic did to us or how they seen us. In order to win we need to heal.
Yes, it was gruesome and agonizing treatment that we learned much from. We know our boundaries now. We are red flag chopping ninjas, but the true win is moving on and letting them to fester in their own cell block of being an incomplete human for the rest of their days . We move forward. We whisper to our inner child, "we can trust us now."
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You feel pity rather than hate or the need for revenge.
When it’s not about winning anymore and you’ve moved on, you just look at the broken shell of the person you gave all your love to and realised that no matter how much you bent yourself into whatever whim it was to make you more lovable to them each time, they were never going to be capable of loving you, and actually would never be capable of loving anyone else either.
Realising that this person would always be empty and devoid of the real feelings they convinced you they had because it really was an illusion they created to somehow fill the emptiness inside. The realisation it really wasn’t you who did anything wrong and that you only tried to make someone feel happy and they were just incapable of having that wonderful feeling that you are now free to share with someone who can, it’s no longer a battle, you just feel sad for them knowing they are empty. That’s when you’ve “won”.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-first-sign-that-you-have-won-against-a-narcissist
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Is it normal for a narcissist to hurt your feelings?
Oh Yes !!
Hurting you Isn't Something Narcissists Do by Accident.
In all the jabber about narcissism, the worst noise is this idea that hurting you is something narcissists do by accident.
If you get nothing else out of "What Makes Narcissists Tick," get the message that frees you of that ridiculous belief. Which is nothing but a baseless assumption.
I don't ask you to take my word for this. Test what I say when I say that narcissists hurt you on purpose. Anyone can test any narcissist.
Here's how. The next time the narcissist is hurting your feelings or making you feel low, let your feelings show and tell him or her how they are making you feel asking them to stop it.
Be prepared for a shock. Any normal human being would soften and let up, but a narcissist will do exactly the opposite !
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It is definite that a Narcissist will hurt your feelings and much more. They will not only hurt your feelings, but they will also destroy your emotional well-being, self esteem and mutilate your self worth. They will manipulate, lie, cheat, steal and whatever else imaginable that is hurtful.
Additionally, Narcissists do Not care one way or the other how you feel. Because it’s Not about you and Never will be. Narcissists are self centered, disrespectful, unapologetic, demanding, compulsive liars who refuse to take responsibility for anything. They are masters of manipulation and blame shifting.
They will have you convinced that it’s something that you did that caused your feelings to get hurt. It’s not their fault, it’s yours. So yes, it’s expected for a Narcissist to hurt your feelings on a regular basis because your feelings will Never be validated.
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ABSOLUTELY! And 100000% because they want to and THEY CAN! And they’ll still turn it around and make it YOUR FAULT! My ex did this constantly, all with throwing in an “I’m joking” sometimes at the end. But never remorse and definitely no apology.
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Totally normal, thats what they do for sh!ts and giggles.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Is-it-normal-for-a-narcissist-to-hurt-your-feelings
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What is the typical behavior of narcissists towards those who publicly disagree with them?
THE MOST TYPICAL ONE,
Is trying to silence that person.
Happens all the time.
You see it right here on Quora.
Your comment getting reported and then they block you.
In real life, they'll smear you to the people who bore witness to their perceived humiliation, in an attempt to invalidate your claims.
On a grander scale,
Like in Robert Telles’ case,
They will dress up like a Mexican construction worker,
And kill you.
In any case, you're to be silenced.
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Not well. Firstly, they have to win any argument or even the slightest disagreement. They will use any tactic possible to prove you wrong. This includes lying, making things up, claiming you are lying and making things up and gaslighting ( that's not what happened! You're WRONG!!!)
It's absolutely exhausting when you disagree with a narc. You definitely end up feeling like you're losing your mind.
Secondly, in my experience they get way over emotional over the tiniest disagreement or if you assert yourself and they don't like it. You'll get shouting, tears, throwing things …or…the silent treatment followed by a ridiculous long e mail pointing out how right they and how wrong they are.
Most importantly, do not stop saying if you disagree with them. Be firm. You will be told to “ stop shouting” even as you speak calmy and clearly. They hate people disagreeing with them so much, to them, it feels like you're shouting.
If you let these tantrums put you off speaking your mind, they win and you will become a shadow of yourself.
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They are totally insulted that you don’t recognize them as far more knowledgeable about the subject. It challenges their inflated ego and imagined sense of importance. I think deep down, it hits a very tender nerve. Don’t stop disagreeing if you don’t share their opinions. Someone has to challenge them or they will continue to bully others.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-typical-behavior-of-narcissists-towards-those-who-publicly-disagree-with-them
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Can people go insane from narcissists' abuse?
Absofuckinglutely.
These hideous human beings can not only drive people to insanity but to suicide. They will remorsely take and break you and will get a rock on hard on (metaphorically speaking) when they do so.
All of us, have relationships. Parents, siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues, bosses etc etc. I would say that the relationship however, that is most exposed to a narcissists abuse is that of an intimate one. I don’t care what you say.
As a female, there is no bigger intimacy than letting someone physically penetrate you. It is when we are at our most vulnerable, physically certainly, for me emotionally also. That is the one relationship, where, I let all my guards down. That person is MY person, my team mate.
The narcissist aligns to that. Revels in your guards coming down. Invites that you are your most intimate and revealed state. Tells you that they feel the same. Then, from that place of (what should be) sacred beauty, they abuse in the most intimate and twisted of ways. Can that drive someone insane? Yes.
Do I think at times with my nex, he drove me to a brink? Yes. Do I think someone less resilient could have been broken by him? Yes. Do I think he could one day drive someone to insanity/ suicide? Yes. I think if he thought he could get away scot free he would do it on repeat and it would actually be the pinnacle of what he wanted to achieve.
They hunger for power and control. What greater power is there than being able to say ‘wasn't me’ whilst deep down knowing that it was, in fact, entirely them? Sobbing abjectly in public at their loss ‘I knew she was unwell I never knew she was this unwell’ and gaining supply from all the sympathy. Then finally going home, unmasking and sitting back, glass of whisky in hand, revelling in their achievement and already plotting the downfall of their next supply.
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Absolutely yes. I personally believe it’s their goal. One of the many insidious goals they have. Your mindset is beyond crucial so they start with that or at least try to. Trying to have their so called significant other, their so called supply or target commit suicide would seem to be a bonus to them.
Never doubt yourself. Not ever. Forever listen to your gut. Run before you may not be able to. They are absolutely capable of doing harm brain wise and otherwise to the best of the best. Evil exists. There is no cure. Truth has no agenda. GET OUT
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Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.
Narcissists work together to keep their prey spinning around like the Tasmanian devil.
To me, going insane is the feeling I would get when NO ONE (they were ALL narcs) would listen, all of my words were being twisted, and my reality constantly questioned. And that is what it feels like to be abused. Add decades to the mix. Was I insane? No. I felt that way because I was surrounded by gaslighters. I NEEDED to discipline myself, my mind, and to be present so I could observe what was actually going on. In order to do this I had to be ALONE and sober.
Narcs want and need their prey to look insane. Regardless, they plant negative smears way back in the beginning of your meeting… So. You LOOK insane. Are YOU insane? Nah. You are in control of you, but only if you are healed. If you are not healed, you will continue on CRAZilY in their evil toddler game.
Get alone. Discipline. Sober. Heal.
Actions MUST equate words.
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Yes ma'am if you let it go that far. I almost did. I winded up being put in a mental health center and we thought I was never going to come out of it.
I was afraid to leave him from him brainwashing me for about a year after he tried to kill me by poisoning me.
He had me believing if I brought charges against him he would hurt my youngest son. He knew we were close.
He was also putting heroine in my hemp cream he was putting on my back.
So the answer is yes if you let it. I'm hope no one has ever went through a near death experience like I did.
If you are in a situation with anyone that your gut feeling is telling you something is wrong, get away from them. That means something is wrong and don't stick around like I did and go against your gut feeling.
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Yes.
Depression. Paranoia. Emotional instable. Strong emotions. Suicidal. Catatonic. Insomnia/wild nightmares. You lose part of your Self. Mania.
At two different times I almost went into psychosis, I lost grip of reality, lost my short-term memory and things were spinning around. Both times for about an hour, but it was nasty and connected to a harsh discard.
The gaslighting and intermittent reinforcement makes you lose your inner reference and the hurtful cold behavior make you go into depression and become suicidal. The love bombing can make you feel and act a bit manic.
It's really bad.
PS: I forgot racing thoughts. This one comes early on, trying to understand and to anticipate and handle ongoing and upcoming actions of the narc. This is the most important symptom to look out for, since it comes first.
https://www.quora.com/Can-people-go-insane-from-narcissists-abuse
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Does a Narcissist accuse others of being narcissistic?
Yes, they do. Usually, pathological narcissists accuse their victims of being narcissistic if they start focusing on themselves to recover from narcissistic abuse and to get rid of their toxic relationship.
Narcissists try to make you feel guilty if you take care of yourself. But the main problem is that you are not sure about yourself, about what you are, and you believe in whatever the narcissist says about you.
So be careful: if you have a narcissistic partner it means that you have some characteristics that put you in danger of becoming prey to psychopathic manipulators.
Narcissist’s victim generally has three features: hyper-activated attachment system, need to please, and strong internal critic.
There are also some beliefs that guide your action and make you become a victim of narcissists:
· I must sacrifice to feel loved;
· My needs are not that important;
· I am afraid to speak up about my needs;
· I secretly believe that if my partner can intuit what my needs are, then that will mean that he truly loves me;
· If I give my all, my partner will eventually reciprocate and realize how loveable I am;
· If I continue giving, loving, and doing everything for my partner, that guarantees that He will never abandon me because I am so caring.
It is important to recognize why you are giving. Are you giving so you can get attention and love in return? Are you giving to improve your self-worth? If yes, you would be the perfect victim for a narcissist. You must set up a boundary when it comes to giving.
Other signs that may make you susceptible to the clutches of the narcissist include:
· Minimizing your preferences
· Neglecting yourself
· Not enjoying yourself due to a sense of shame or guilt that you should not be enjoying yourself
· The need to please
· Extreme fear of failing to meet the expectations of people you care about
· Pride. In the sense that you think you have the capacity to change a person into who you want.
The issue is that we exhibit all of these signs unconsciously and it is the more reason you should pay attention to your own behavior and thoughts. If you pathologically give and please in order to get some sort of “love trophy” and justify to people that you are good and nice, then you are setting yourself up to attract more narcissistic relationships.
To resolve this situation a dialogue with a therapist is necessary. You can start by developing your experience, informing yourself about the dynamics of the narcissistic relationship by reading books, but surely the advice of a professional is required.
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Yes. A friend said to me “the things we find most repulsive in the world” are things we see in ourselves and his sentiment is by no means incorrect. In the end, it really is all about projecting. Narcissists are the biggest hypocrites, and some of the best.
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Here's how this goes, I've seen it in action:
Narc: You're a narcissist! You lie all the time!
Me: name one time, I'm sorry but I don't understand.
Narc: That time you said you were going to meet that customer and you didn't!
Me: You gave me the wrong address and no phone number.
Narc: I know I gave it to you correctly!!
Me: You admitted afterwards that you may have transposed a number.
Narc: you're LYING!!!
Me: Maybe I'm missing something or losing my mind. I honestly don't think it went that way. I thought this was history. I apologize.
Narc: You're just a liar and a narcissist!!! You should work on that. You just piss people off.
I've had so many conversations like this. Makes me really examine myself and how I'm getting through life just pissing people off everywhere. Then I ask a couple of friends, “Am I a narcissist? Am I hurting people? I honestly don't try. Maybe I'm screwing up and am not aware of it.”
Been there so many times. Does this seem like the same scenario, same ole story, to you?
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Yes. Every f*cking day. Lol.
That's how I know I'm doing the right thing.
I take it as a compliment.
They are so predictable.
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Just as most of the other answers already state… hell yes.
I have seen this happen here on Quora so. many. times.
Accusing another person of having NPD is very revealing. Just saying.
It’s insane, too, because it’s so ridiculous.
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Most definitely they do.
That which they know is within them ~ What they are capable of ~ How they are behaving ~ All of their negative traits and behaviours ~ They will project onto others.
Constantly.
Unfailingly.
They are always the Victim.
They will never take responsibility or accountability for any troubles ~ Their own toxicity ~ Or the demise of any relationship whatsoever.
It is after all, the only way they know how to be, sadly.
https://www.quora.com/Does-a-Narcissist-accuse-others-of-being-narcissistic?no_redirect=1
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Why are narcissists so
mean and vengeful?
Because it makes them "happy" to destroy you.
Inside their warped heads, they think they're actually doing you a favour too.
Tearing you down, stealing all of your money, your home, your car, destroying your finances, cheating on you, lying, etc., it's all a way to strip you down to nothing.
They rationalise this in their warped brains as you learning to "build yourself back up."
They want to lord it over you, and teach you a lesson, just for having your own opinions, beliefs, etc.
It's not good enough that you were good to them, and supportive. They will tear you down simply because they can.
It's that simple.
That's why you never give them an inch.
Plus, they are envious and sadistic.
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For one, it’s because they are unhappy with themselves. Narcissists know that they could never take the gaslighting and criticism/withholding that they dish out to their victims. Double standards are how they roll.
People who are at ease with themselves as the works in progress we all are and who have faith in love and kindness beyond their own works aren’t usually mean and vengeful people.
So, if a person knows good and well that they’re a narcissistic troll with negligible life/social/love skills, they’re not going to be kind and gracious people, by nature.
Narcissists are typically jealous, insecure and naturally pissed, as a general trait - it goes with their narc pathology. Real charmers, right?!
Also, it’s because narcissists don’t like to take accountability. It’s always someone else’s fault…the perpetual dog that ate their homework vibe.
Unless there’s a rare time when you’ve had enough, and they know they have to back off, that’s when narcs show a false kindness and sense of security like when they first met you and were never going to hurt you and you were the best thing to ever happen to them.
Their brief display of kindness is, for them, a reset so they can catch you off guard later…but as anyone who has gone back to a real narcissist knows - it doesn’t last long. Not even three hours or a full day or week, depending on how sick they are.
This is partly why narcs use the constant word salad/what-about-what-you-did? loop all the time, to throw blame and doubt on to you so that - in their twisted plan - you will just get exhausted, give up/in, and help them shine while you lose your spark that attracted them to you in the first place.
Narcs always want what they don’t have, right? This is the supply - the attention - they feed on, negative or positive. As long as you’re engaging them, they will never stop.
P.S. For all of the people who say that low-self esteem is why people get saddled with these kinds of people, think of all the people you know who were radiant and gorgeous before getting drained by a narcissist until they regenerate and bloom upon leaving such toxic people and situations.
Choose an emotionally/spiritually healthy partner or friend, not the broken toy who wants to break you too.
Avoid these types of people and move on - you will celebrate that you did! Just give it time. The pain of the breakup will hurt at first, but wounds heal, especially when you’re the one who refused to allow yourself to be abused, mentally or physically, anymore.
Staying and exposing yourself to serious consequences is far more tragic than leaving someone who does not deserve you. You can’t fix them, but you can allow yourself to heal. There are literally billions of loving people on this Earth to choose from who don’t want to hurt you or wreak havoc on your life and soul.
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They don't have to. They choose to be mean, because they enjoy the rush of their dominance and cruelty. Evil is a choice.
Experts tell us NPDs were trained from early childhood to become Narcissists, but fail to explain the fact that some abused children become empaths, others become Narcissist.
Unless we are hit by schizophrenia, we have free will. Narcissists use their free will to hurt others, because they love it.
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Because they are spoiled, indulged, little bullies. They have not experienced enough consequences to make them think twice about taking something too far.
People frequently “back-down” in the face of their abuse, and so the narcissist’s behavior gets reinforced and they continue with it indefinitely.
Additionally, they are emotionally underdeveloped and they do not want to put any effort into controlling themselves.
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Narcissist behaviour is an orchestrated series of lies and misinformation initiated by people as a method of damage control in the event of them being exposed.
Narcissists use a calculated (and effective) series of lies and gossip to deliberately bring their target down and make themselves look good. There can be many reasons such as you seeing them for who they really are, to discredit you should you decide to expose them, jealously, resentment, feeling threatened by you, or a simple disagreement. The victim of a smear campaign often finds themselves isolated and or ostracised by family and people who they once thought of as friends.
By the time the victim finds out about the back stabbing and betrayal, it’s too late, the damage has been done. No one believes them. Their credibility has been undermined, their character assassinated. The narcissist has painted a dark picture of their target and any denials only add fuel to the narcissist’s version of events.
The narcissist often starts a smear campaign long before a relationship comes to an end. They plan ahead knowing that none of their relationships end well, so when that time comes, they have already persuaded friends and basically anyone who will listen to them, that their target is unstable.
They lie, spread malicious gossip and twist the truth in an effort to destroy their victim’s character and reputation. Abusers often use other people to do their dirty work for them. They will use third parties to abuse their target. Because this form of abuse is indirect, it results in them looking like an innocent party.
Maintaining their image is paramount. They’ve done this before and are well practised in manipulating and controlling people. Practice makes perfect and sadly they are often believed.
Smear campaigns are often initiated within the family unit. The narcissist alienates their target from family members once again by lies and gossip. The narcissist recruits other family members, who become enablers to help ostracise their victim.
Anyone who is seen as a threat to a narcissistic personality within the family may be considered a target. For example simply being a younger sister deemed more popular than the narcissist, or who has shown to be more qualified professionally, is enough to make them a target of a smear campaign. The victim in these circumstances may find themselves being bullied, isolated, blamed, or ostracised by their family, none of which they’re guilty of or aware of.
Make no mistake; the narcissist knows their target is a good person. They know exactly how they are making their target feel by their betrayal. They simply don’t care as long as they, themselves, come out of the situation smelling of roses.
Some will take great pleasure and feel a sense of power by simply knowing that they are the cause of another’s pain and emotional distress. By their manipulation, they are in control of their target’s emotions and of their relationships with others. They display absolutely no remorse or shame in the psychological harm and trauma that they cause to their victim.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-mean-and-vengeful
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Why does it hurt more than
anything that a narcissist shows no remorse?
Because it’s so alien to the substance of your very being. It’s beyond comprehension. They’re not human! It’s HORRIBLE! It’s WRONG! It’s POISON! ……. They know what they’re doing they know full well what they’re doing.
It’s a crime so much worse than murder that there is no comparison.
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Narcissists are afraid of rejection, and therefore their fears will constantly be played out repeatedly on their victims. Once you have proven your are flawed and no longer special to your narcissist, devaluation begins. This is where your beloved will start to pick fights over nothing.. testing your limits and then blaming you for overreacting or taking them seriously.
______________________________
It hurts so much because from a decent human beings perspective, it’s hard to comprehend the fact that someone could be so cold and cruel. It’s hard for our brains to wrap around the fact that none of it was ever real in the first place, which is why they show zero remorse.
They are incapable of feeling remorse which is also a diffIcult concept to grasp. BUT We’re actually grieving the loss of ourselves if you think about it. We’re grieving the person we once were before we met this individual.
We sit here, alone, emotionally beaten down. The narcissist “mirrors” us in the beginning. We miss that person. But if they were “mirroring” us, it means we MISS OURSELVES! So that hurt stems from us missing our old self, in my opinion.
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A narcissist cannot show remorse because they don't know what that is. They're not capable of loving someone, caring for someone if it is not themselves. They are first second and third in their life. We are just a decoration a facade in their life.
Just so they can show the world that they fit that role of normalcy. But they are far from being normal. They have no empathy, no sympathy, no remorse. They just care about themselves and what they want.
From my experience with my ex husband. His mom and dad never really showed him love. He was raised by a grandmother. His grandmother couldn't take care of him, gave him back to his parents at the age of 15. His mom was a career lady, never home always at work.
His Dad was very strict and was trying to do the mom and dad thing. So my ex husband never made his dad proud and his mom always defending him and getting him out of trouble. My ex husband formed a shield around himself to not feel hurt.
He became a narcissist. So remorse he will never have. To admit that he has done something wrong is not in his vocabulary. I hope I shed some light on your question. God bless.
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If you are a codependent, like I used to be, subconsciously, you always seek other people’s approval and validation, because you don’t trust yourself enough, and you determine your self-worth based on other people’s opinions of you. Therefore, if your partner doesn’t show you remorse for the things they have done, you start to believe that it is actually your fault that they did that to you, because you weren’t good enough to receive better treatment.
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Because whatever they have done to you in their mind you did something to them first to deserve it. They will tell themselves this even if you have done nothing so in their mind they are blameless and everything is your fault. You will never be able to reason with them. Best to detach emotionally, they feed from your emotional reactions.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-does-it-hurt-more-than-anything-that-a-narcissist-shows-no-remorse
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What happens when you
no longer play into
a narcissist's games?
Once the narcissist realizes the game-playing will not work with you anymore, they will try a new or a different approach just to get your attention. Once they know that you're onto them, they will create unnecessary chaos and drama to deflect the attention away from them in hopes of gaining control over you again. They may ghost you so you may not hear from them for a while, and then abruptly you will receive a phone call, an email, or a text message. This is their way of testing the waters to see if you will let them back in. Their behavior is their way to cope and survive because they will not ever stop playing games with people. So, if you remove yourself from playing games with them, they will simply find another victim to play with.
It is imperative that you recognize the traits of those that want to control and dominate you is key to claiming your personal power. Those with narcissistic personality are unaware that despite their relentless efforts to gaslight you into submission, you have maintained some sense of clarity of thought, self-worth, and the ability to question the reality that they tried to create for you.
So, not playing means no contact, no looking on their social media, no reply or response to them or their flying monkeys. It means detoxing, self-reflection, engaging in your self-worth, and finding your power again by releasing yourself from this unhealthy toxicity that you were entangled with.
Here is the key takeaway: narcissists hate playing alone; they need supply to feed into their emptiness. Narcissists can only play a match of basketball with you only if you throw the ball back to them.
The moment you refuse to throw the ball back into their court by walking away, it then becomes a game over for the narcissists. May you know the signs, may you know the traits and red flags, and may you never become their toy to be played with.
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That's where I'm at now, I'm no contact and I'm in the process of healing but they will still hoover because they still want to try and ruin your life. Who cares what happens when you stop playing the game, they literally will replace you with someone that doesn't know better. stay strong and just stay away.
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This is when they discard you. You are no longer amusing if you make one little mistake in their eyes.
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This is when they discard you. You are no longer amusing if you make one little mistake in their eyes.
They do anything and everything to try and hurt you, of course if you expect it it's not so shocking, especially if you have come to terms with how ruthless they can be, it's like they don't have a damage control button, then they latch on to a down grade that is as low as they are because the down grade doesn't have a problem with their behavior.
They do not care. They continue to stone wall you.
They become very angry and unglued. If they cannot have power and control over you then they turn you into the enemy. They will continue to run their narcissistic games like lying and being secretive. And you will then probably be discarded
Expect that the narcissist in question will rage, either externally or internally, and expedite your eventual discard once a replacement has been secured. In the interim, the narcissist will probably try to teach you a lesson for having the audacity to not do as you were told.
If you’re not already being devalued by the narcissist, you soon find your way on the path that leads to your eventual discard.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-no-longer-play-into-a-narcissists-games
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Why does a narcissist keep
smiling while they engage in
emotionally abusing their target?
They enjoy other person's suffering. Why? Because this is how they feel inside themselves most of their lives. Misery loves company.
So in the moment when another person is really hurting, narcissist feels better. It's also because narcissist wants to matter, so his ability to emotionally hurt someone presents to him a proof that he matters.
It's similar to a child creating a mess just to get mum's attention. The difference between that toddler and a narcissist is that toddler won't enjoy if his mum starts crying, while narcissist will. I believe most narcissists are sadistic.
I have seen smirk on both exNs faces and it's a real and disturbing thing to see. In those moments when you expect that narcissist will act with compassion, he smirks and tries to hide his enjoyment. It's a very ugly thing to see and makes one realize that not all people are human - though they look like they are from the outside.
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It makes them feel good when they’re abusing their target. They hate you. They feel temporary happiness, so you get a smile, grin, or the narcissistic smirk the more they torture you.
They enjoy seeing the victim's response. Seeing them uncoordinated, upset, distressed.
It gives them a great sense of control and power.
They caused that reaction upon that person because the person cares about them, has feelings for them.
They feel entitled to making that person react in that manner.
The victim's response is the outcome of the abuser's manipulation. The greater the damage, the more pleasure for the abuser.
That person is allowing and giving the power to the narcissist, to treat them that way, all in the name of love.
And the narcissist has no clue what love is or feels like.
Isn't that a kick in the pants?!!
What a joke on the victim!
The narcissist is feeling glorious with attention!
If you're reading this and you're a victim, do you think this is love?
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The smile is because they simply can't hide how happy they are to feel the power, control, and superiority they feel by being able to cause 'emotional pain' in another person. The 'smirk' is a blatant, in your face, gotcha, beat you, show of disrespect to the 'loser'.
They can claim the 'smile' is an attempt to 'cheer up' the person in 'emotional pain' when in reality they simply can't hide how happy they are to feel in 'control' of that person's emotional pain.
They can deny the 'smirk' and claim it was a smile.
They can really belittle the person's emotional pain with a smile and say "I was thinking about something else." or "Why can't you just be happy FOR ME?".
Once you have repeatedly seen that inappropriate smile and that condescending smirk, mirror that 'smile' the next time they are telling one their 'victim' stories and watch THEIR reaction. When he/she looks at you like they could kill you and says "What's so f'ing funny?, keep smiling and say "I was just trying to cheer you up" and see how that goes over.
Then as he/she is raging at you, give him/her a half smile 'smirk' and claim you are 'just smiling' or 'thinking about something else'. He/she WILL NOT get what you're doing or WHY you are doing that, but their reaction and what they say WILL damn sure tell you WHY they do that. One of the first things he/she will tell you is that "You just don't care about ME or MY feelings" and that is one hell of a punishable 'injury'.
ANY person who is in emotional pain that is 'caused' by the narcissist should stay the hell away from the smiling, smirking narcissist if they don't want MORE 'emotional pain'.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-keep-smiling-while-they-engage-in-emotionally-abusing-their-target
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They create chaos when they open their mouth.
Narcissists Who Create Chaos
Lacking inner peace, narcissists inevitably spread chaos as they go. Dr. Les Carter highlights many of their favorite tactics, then explains what is really going on inside their troubled minds.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uyGgjyxg3M
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Evil is actually pretty stupid as some exorcists have said:
"It's very predictable and lacks creativity and innovation".
Disturbing Mind of a Narcissist: How they Think makes them Extremely Predictable
Revealing the predictable patterns of behavior exhibited by narcissists, including their tendency to prioritize their own interests, project their wrongdoings onto others, and resist accountability. Learn how to recognize and respond to these behaviors in a safe manner and get back the control and the upperhand from the narcissist
@lilfairycupcake
1 month ago
the many narcs ive been around all had one thing in common, lack of intellect. this includes my 4.0 genius brother, and ex gf who had no issue with telling me how smart she was at least once a month. predictable is almost a understatement.
@doranvee5944
1 month ago (edited)
Win at all cost. There is no active listening, nor appreciating another's view. They hear what they want, to argue even more. Ruthless!
@Lifechants
4 weeks ago
Extra dangerous when they actually have high IQ but no common sense. Still predictable, just more sinister games and manipulation attempts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAinr1Nq2Cs
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"It doesn't matter what they think - it really doesn't".
Absolutely! It's like someone robbing your home and
you caring about their opinion of your decor.
How & Why Narcissists
Create Opponents
@darlene-MamaD
1 year ago
From my experiences,
this behavior can be quite rampant in a toxic workplace.
@StillAwakeAwareDiscerning
1 year ago
Narcs wanting and needing an adversary is at the heart of scapegoating.
@icalotdonthide2646
1 year ago
That's why when identified, I don't care about right or wrong anymore, I just want them away from me by any means possible. They are not rational and talking to them is a fking brick wall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9V11F27aBxM
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"The single greatest waste of psychic energy is explaining/defending yourself to someone who has a pathological need to control you"
Narcissists Want You To
Follow The Script
@shelley7975
2 years ago
Yes, the blank look when you are trying to have a conversation about something important to you. I'm over it.
@MichaelSmith-jz7xg
1 year ago (edited)
Love is a game to them. It makes them so uncomfortable they have to accuse you of the most outrageous things in order to pull the rug out from under you and make you look like a fool. They have to have the upper hand at all times because they are arrested, dysfunctional, helpless & delusional about our true intentions.
@gloriadonahue7241
2 years ago
This isn't just with conversation either. They get furious if you don't do what they think you should have done.
@harmonyvaneaton4101
6 months ago
I was told I had to come to them, in private, to ASK permission to hold my own opinion, thought, or feeling. That I was not to speak unless asked a direct question. These people aren't well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEQggqyYlUM
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When you find yourself asking for human decency. When you have to explain respect to a grown person. Just know you're dealing with a narcissist.
Explaining To Narcissists:
A Reality Check
@monicahocking1507
2 years ago
I spent over 40 years explaining over and over again. The most draining experience of my life. Now facing the same thing with some of my children. Nope. Not doing it anymore.
@bruceyamamoto99
2 years ago
This is such a simple but impactful perspective of dealing with narcissists. I believe we often forget, the narcissist are incapable of thinking the way we do. They are like a computer which run on a different operating system.
@speedyb5434
2 years ago (edited)
I've had 2 narcissistic girlfriends in my life. When we get into a disagreement of any sort and I start to "explain" my side or point of view they would turn to me and say "stop complaining ". It can be so frustrating on my end because I'm NOT complaining I'm EXPLAINING!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vbayk3N1L4
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Why is it important to
ignore a narcissist?
Because if you give them the time of day they will take your life. They exemplify “if you give them an inch they’ll take a mile”.
If you say “hi” , in their mind it is because you LOVE them. Hell, you WORSHIP them.
If you do them the tiniest favor….. they expect HUGE favors. You are now targeted as one who WILL DO for them.
Their ENTIRE goal in life is to find the ones they can USE. The ones who WILL DO !!!!
Your best bet is to TOTALLY IGNORE them. It is the only way they ever come to realize that you’re onto them and their sick game.
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As a survivor of Narcissistic abuse it is important to ignore the Narcissist for the following reasons:
Narcissists are toxic. Exchanging energy with Narcissists is damaging to your health and well being. Survivors of N abuse take years to heal. They cannot heal while still engaging with a Narcissist. Survivors of N abuse need positive people around them to heal.
Narcissists don't love anyone especially themselves so why would survivors of N abuse want to be with someone who is fake?
Narcissists destroy lives. Nothing good comes out of a relationship with a Narcissist.
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I disagree with the premise raised in the question - that a narcissist should never be ignored.
Narcissists are nasty, horrible people, and the very best way to handle them is by ignoring them.
Look, you already know they’re trashing you, your reputation, your lifestyle, your friends, intimate details (real or lies - makes no difference), so why on earth would you want to continue any form of contact with them? You can no more control what they’re saying about you than you can control the wind.
Let them get on with the trashing - sooner or later they might realize they’ve been boring everyone to death with the same (yet always newly embellished) victim stories - everything is always your fault, of course. Inevitably. But they’ll probably keep it going - they think they’re endlessly fascinating.
What else do NPDs have left in their arsenals? Really? If that’s it, then you’ve already been through it. The people who believe the NPD’s version never knew you, anyway. They’ve been suckered big time. Just like you were.
Tell them to f*ck off, and then continue to live your life, your way, and like you mean it.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-important-to-ignore-a-narcissist?no_redirect=1
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Standing up for yourself is self preservation,
standing up for others is an act of nobility.
The Courage To Stand Up
To A Narcissist
How many times have you thought: "I'm so tired of the way the narcissist treats me"? But futility settles in because efforts to find a reasonable middle ground fall flat. Dr. Les Carter carves a clear path for you to stand up to that person's mistreatment in a manner that empowers you even as you stay out of unruly power games.
@Snibble
4 days ago (edited)
Standing up to a narcissist only provokes them to double down.
1. Don’t get angry
2. Don’t try to convince them.
3. Don’t try to excuse or explain yourself.
4. Don’t try to make things right.
Just say you have a different opinion and you are entitled to have one.
See them soak and put themselves in victim mode and leave it to what it is.
@mancdec
4 days ago
Have come to this conclusion... There's no reasoning with them..shows exactly who they are.
@markjayw666
4 days ago
Oh I been “standing up!” Since 7/8/22 been fighting for custody of my beautiful child against a Sociopathic liar! I will never stop!
@preparedsurvivalist2245
4 days ago
Not to scare anyone, but the last time I stood up to my narcissist spouse and told her she can not steal from me and then just ignore me when I try to confront her about it, I was literally BATTERED. My body was bruised for 3 weeks after. And yes, the police and protective orders and the courts were later involved. I tell this not as a testament to the courage it takes to confront a narcissist, but simply what you can expect from them in return!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zKTI5VOM8k
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Narcissists & The Unfalsifiable Hypothesis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oYonj4eWPQ
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Deal with them as little as possible.
Protect your Peace & Sanity.
When Dealing With Narcissists,
Hold Onto Your Reality
@casperinsight3524
2 years ago
Narcissism is widespread once you're AWAKE you see it everywhere...its inside and outside your family, friends, coworkers, bosses, clerks etc, etc, etc...
@sunilwadghule7567
1 year ago
Narc doesn't makes any sense, other than selfishness all the time, they turn your reality into myth and myth into reality.
@nutritionbybrittany
2 years ago
“ You don’t need to understand everything because what you know is enough “ GOLD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JR8-G4tv10
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Do narcissists call you to see how you’re doing?
No, just to keep tabs and see if they can suck more life force out of you. Maybe just to throw a few more insults your way. Finally, they will only care how you are doing when they believe that you are not doing well. These people are Satan's soldiers.
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Yes, they do, however it may not be for the reasons why you think they’re calling. Narcissists are not concerned about how you’re doing, they’re concerned about what they want, need, or can get from others. Everything that they do is driven by their own self-interest. They may care about how others can benefit them, but they typically don’t care much about how others are doing.
Why would they, when they didn’t care when you were involved with them? To be frank, the (how you’re doing call) is related to hoovering you. Hoovering is a common tactic that narcissists will use when either of you have ended things, and they try to suck or pull you back into their toxic web which is part of the abuse cycle. They also call to see if you have moved on and are possibly dating again.
Once or if you take the call just listen very closely to how they will dominate the conversation, or the conversation is associated with what they want or need at the moment. They’re so conniving that victims often believe that the phone call or text message inquiring about (how they’re doing) is out of concern or sincerity. It’s not!
Remember, narcissists see others as objects, not as human beings, so everyone in their past, present, or future is seen as something to use. It's no secret that a core narcissistic trait is the lack of empathy, care, or concern for others. They may act as if they care or are concerned, but they’re only concerned about themselves. They are only interested in how they can use, mislead, manipulate, and abuse others to meet their needs. They even get narcissistic supply when you answer and entertain their phone call or text message. It gives them validation and attention that they constantly seek.
Narcissists act in a caring manner or try to appear as if they care about how you’re doing, but it is not from a sincere place. The acting is the same act that made you the perfect target when you first met them, and you later saw them for who they really are. They are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their phone call, or text message of asking you how you’re doing is often connected to one of their many arsenals of manipulation.
They do not care about you, they do not care about how you’re doing, all they care about is instant gratification, pleasure, validation, attention, power, control, and adoration. So, the (how you’re doing call) is less about you, and more about what they’re trying to manipulate from you!
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They could care less how you're doing. They're incapable of caring about anyone but themselves. If they call you, they're calling to find out if there's a possible way they can weasel themselves into your life to take something from you, use you and/or abuse you in order to supply themselves. Don't answer the phone…
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Just to see if they can get you to engage with them. They never, now listen to me completely……they NEVER CARE HOW YOU ARE DOING.
EVER.
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If a narcissist calls you, it’s not because they miss you or love you, or are in any way legitimately curious about how you actually are.
They call because
they want to see if you’ll take their call
they’re bored
they’re horny
they’re curious to see how emotionally invested you are (if they say ‘I miss you’, will you say it back?)
to find out if you’re moving on or whether you’re still a secure back up they can call on
whether some good luck has hit you (a financial windfall) which means they need to engineer a hoover so they can benefit
because they need/ want something
to get information
If a narc calls you, my question is why they’re not already blocked. And why, you would even consider taking their call.
Regardless of who has initiated the discard (you or them), get the hell out of there. If you have no ties, go no contact and remain no contact. Give them nothing. They do not care about you and they never will.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-call-you-to-see-how-you-re-doing
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How does a narcissist
landlord behave?
They behave like a narcissist. They stalk, harass, gaslight, and abuse their tenants.
One of the main behaviors that points towards a narcissistic landlord is entering your home without permission. Narcissists are entitled. Even though they rented you the place and legally its in your possession (until you relinquish possession or the court grants them back possession) the narcissist still thinks it is THEIR home. The money you paid to the narcissist means nothing. Remember they are TAKERS not GIVERS.
Their only concern is THEIR needs and the main “need” of a narcissist is SUPPLY. Narcissists cannot live without victims to feed on. Chaos and toxic control is like fuel to them. That’s why a narcissistic landlord will always break landlord-tenant rules in some way, form, or fashion.
They have to get to you. Its part of their pathology. They can’t leave you alone. You’ll see them even here on QUORA telling people “its their house they can do what they want!” No they cannot and possession is nine tenths of the law. So when you took possession of the unit it became YOUR house (as far as tenant’s rights go, to the extent that while you occupy the premises legally they cannot just do anything they want with the property without getting a court order) until as I said you relinquish possession or the court grants the landlord back possession.
Narcissists don’t think the rules apply to them. There are rules to being a landlord with tenants and narcissists don’t think they should have to follow those rules.
Narcissists always want what they want when they want it. When they want your money they are supposed to be able to take it, but when they can’t get your money, or whatever their “supply” is at that moment, they literally act like spoiled children. As I stated you can see it here on QUORA all of the time.
____________________________________
The same as any narcissist would. So never expect support, kindness or sincerity. And if you are ever late on rent, expect this landlord to give you hell.
____________________________________
Narcissistic landlords will invade your privacy at will, including entering the property without your knowledge or consent. Although this is illegal, the narc sees absolutely nothing wrong with it.
He’ll also have no qualms about pilfering your belongings if he fancies something for himself. As is true of all Narcissists, smear campaigns and senseless gossip will be a regular occurrence. He’ll entertain himself by creating drama and chaos for unsuspecting neighbors who would otherwise co-exist peacefully.
They will be unlikely to properly maintain the rental units, and may even refuse to make necessary repairs. They’re well known to manipulate tenants into paying for the costs themselves.
They make assurances that the expenses will be reimbursed or deducted from the next month’s rent. This never happens, of course, and if confronted, the narc will flatly deny ever making such an agreement.
He’ll keep up with your comings-and-goings, and take note of your visitors’ habits, as well. If he sees an opportunity to instigate turmoil with this particular knowledge, all the better.
Sometimes narc landlords damage rental property in order to collect insurance money. One couple I know lost all their possessions after a fire of unknown origin destroyed their duplex.
To add insult to injury, they were considered suspects and subjected to a lengthy arson investigation. The landlord had an abnormally high occurrence of similar fires at several of his properties over the years, though he was never charged with a crime.
The voyeuristic parasites may have hidden video cameras and/or recording devices so they can spy on your most private and intimate moments.
Probably the most common red flag is the multiple attempts to gain sexual favors from anyone they deem to be exploitable. Narcissistic landlords love to prey on vulnerable tenants and will harass them mercilessly.
This is by no means a complete list of red flags to look for, but hopefully, it’ll give you an idea of how despicable these vermin can be.
__________________________________________
A narcissist landlord is a narcissist first and landlord later. They behave as a narcissist behaves. You have been on Quora for some time, you should know the attitudes and behaviors by now.
Once we come to realize that we were born into a highly narcissistic family we can become compulsive about finding them everywhere we look. I think this is normal but if this is the reason you ask this kind of question so often I encourage you to try and dial it back some. Remember to try and find some positive qualities in others too. It can help improve your outlook.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-landlord-behave
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Why do narcissists want to hurt your feelings, even after they discard you?
Part One
By the time they get to the stage of discarding you, they have nothing but contempt for you. They have used you up, and spat you out- now you are a tedious nuisance. You serve no purpose for them, except to give them the thrill of seeing you upset. The more they can hurt you, the bigger the kick.
As you now know, narcissists are very nasty once they are done with you. There will never be a post discard relationship, not a nice one, because they are too cruel, and they get their kicks from watching you get upset.
But here’s the kicker- even after they have done this, and been mega cruel, if they run out of supply they might still contact you for a quick booty call!
So get away from them.
Block them, so they cannot get at you to tease or taunt, or tell you how happy their new supply makes them (they like twisting the knife) and read about narcissism, so you recover quicker.
The more you know, the more horrified you will be that you let this person get close enough to hurt you- but the eaiser you will find it to resist any blandishments and manipulation from this or any other narcissist.
A good short book is Is There A Narcissist in Your Life? Amanda Clymont, Amazon. Read it and weep for the fantasy you have lost- then recover, and never look back.
______________________________________
They hurt your feelings because they thrive off your negative emotions.
In their eyes, you belong to them. They are the star of the play, and you are a supporting actor cardboard cutout. A stage prop = property. You are their property, even after discard, even though they are with someone else. (And they ARE with AT LEAST one other person.) They must have control over you, their property, because they get supply.
At the beginning of the relationship, when you think they are the greatest thing on the planet, you give them praise, attention, sex, money, and gifts…they get the supply they need. When it all crashes down and they devalue and discard you, and even after discard, they need your attention for supply, even though it is bad attention.
They delight in your reactions. Yes, they derive value from your pain and confusion. That is why they want to hurt you. Don’t give it to them. Go no contact. It’s tough but it is the only way. Don’t check their social media, don’t take their calls, don’t even look at their pictures.
Remember, this Creature from Cluster B Lagoon has no internal worth. They must get their energy from other people. Good or bad energy makes them thrive. Have you heard of Elizabeth Báthory? It is rumored she killed beautiful young women and drank their blood to feel young. The narcissist does the same with your love but also your emotional and psychological pain. And, of course, your money.
Remember they would sell their mother for a profit because money is their world.
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That is the way they make themselves feel better. Superior is better. Hurting you makes them better than you. It’s sick but so are they. That was their intention from the beginning. But you won’t love them if you know. So the mask you get in the beginning is an exaggerated love.
Then they continue to see how disrespectful you will let them be to you. When they sense you’ve had enough and are about to kick them to the curb, they will discard you in an exaggerated way also. If they can destroy you it’s all the better. That’s the typical Narc pattern. Enjoy!
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They are hurting because they have lost control of you. They want to continue to control you so they continue to abuse. They want your reaction. Do not react. Starve the beast!!
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They don't want to hurt your feelings.
As in, specifically you.
You are not relevant.
It's all about them saving face. See this is what people don't understand.
You are not really a person to them. Your feelings do not matter in any kind of way. All that matters is how what you do or say reflects upon them or to them. Everything that they think about you is viewed through a lens of them first.
So when they start going in on you about something you can guarantee it's a trigger to their insecurities. That's why it's called projection. It's basically them taking out their insecurities and pain on you because you're convenient and handy and you're looked at as nothing but a dumpster for their petty bullshit problems.
I'm sorry, I wish it was more complicated than that but they are not complicated people. They're all remarkably similar and boring. They just seem confusing at first until you learn about this shite.
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Because narcissists need to have the upper hand over everyone in every situation and at all times.
It’s why post-breakup, a narcissist ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend can’t just accept that it’s over and that you start to move on, heal and genuinely improve yourself without them.
Why they are very competitive in relationships and after breakups.
And why they will go out of their way to sabotage your new relationships, to pull you down, to breadcrumb and manipulate you.
They’re grown infants. A toddler stuck in the body of a fully grown adult.
They don’t want you to be happy and to thrive in life because they need you to be miserable, to obsess over them and to keep chasing them in order for them to feel worthy and powerful.
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Sadly, narcissists enjoy causing emotional distress!
No matter the relationship, be it, romantic partner, parent, sibling, friend, or colleague, after a narcissist is done devaluing the victim, they discard. This is also to cause emotional distress. If the victim handled the discard well and does not pursue the narcissist.. the narcissist will always attempt to cause problems in the life of the supply. Even though they discarded the victim, they seem to still feel rejection if the relationship is not mourned by their supply.
Sensitivity to rejection and abandonment is one of the huge red flags. I know it seems counterintuitive that the narcissist would feel rejected or abandoned after they discard you, but it’s back to the (cycle of abuse) they want you to feel pain after the break up! So will attack if you show indifference.
Human beings are merely play things to a narcissist, and the narcissist will know exactly how to cause you distress as they had been studying your weaknesses throughout the relationship. They know which buttons to press. This behaviour is the inner toddler at work. Emotional immaturity drives each narcissist. They will focus on all the negative aspects of the previous relationship even if in a new relationship, and they will want to punish for anything that bruised their fragile ego!
Each of the narcissists I’ve known won’t let me forget them. They still hoover years after the discard. Especially if I was the one who severed contact. They find a way!
It’s all a game to a narcissist, they seem to get bored so quickly and search for ways to torment those who dared to leave, or accepted the discard and moved on.
Once you ‘pop up’ on the narcissists radar they will attempt to cause distress. If you bump into them, or you are spoken about in their circle, or maybe something reminds them of you, they will search on line to see how you are doing. They will ask friends and family. And If you are happy, they will attack! If you are in a vulnerable position such as family problems, or relationships issues, they tend to hoover so they begin the cycle of abuse again. It’s all for narcissistic enjoyment. To see you suffer.
If you spend some time educating yourself on how their immature brains work and what causes the disorder it’s much easier to become indifferent to the advances. You may begin to just brush off the odd behaviour as yet another nutter! Attempting to gain attention.
It’s best to always remain vigilant after any relationship with a narcissist. Any odd situations that occur in your life shortly after a break up will more than likely be down to the narcissistic individual you escaped.
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By the time they get to the stage of discarding you, they have nothing but contempt for you. They have used you up, and spat you out- now you are a tedious nuisance. You serve no purpose for them, except to give them the thrill of seeing you upset. The more they can hurt you, the bigger the kick.
As you now know, narcissists are very nasty once they are done with you. There will never be a post discard relationship, not a nice one, because they are too cruel, and they get their kicks from watching you get upset.
But here’s the kicker- even after they have done this, and been mega cruel, if they run out of supply they might still contact you for a quick booty call!
So get away from them.
Block them, so they cannot get at you to tease or taunt, or tell you how happy their new supply makes them (they like twisting the knife) and read about narcissism, so you recover quicker.
The more you know, the more horrified you will be that you let this person get close enough to hurt you- but the eaiser you will find it to resist any blandishments and manipulation from this or any other narcissist.
A good short book is Is There A Narcissist in Your Life? Amanda Clymont, Amazon. Read it and weep for the fantasy you have lost- then recover, and never look back.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-your-feelings-even-after-they-discard-you
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Why do narcissists want to hurt your feelings, even after they discard you?
Part Two
Because they are never happy, regardless of who left who, we will return to the path we were on before being sidetracked by the narcissist, a path of happiness, success, fulfillment and true love.
The narcissist knows this and is pissed off because, according to them, we should be broken, ruined and not able to move forward in life without them.
We have proven them wrong, so being the bitter, petty, unhappy varmints they are, they truly believe if they can't be happy neither should we.
Stay minimal or full no contact, continue making them irrelevant and live a fulfilling life.
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It's a way they still control you and your reaction to what they say and do to hurt you let's the narcissist know that they are still in control. That's why it's best to go no contact with the narcissist and no contact with all the friends ya'll had together and all his family and make sure none of your immediate family has any contact.
Also because it's very hard not to hurt behind someone you gave your all to just to find out they never could love you unless you were useful to them in some way and it's hard not to react to someone you looked up to that could be so evil and mean to you.
It's never easy letting go of the ones you love and even harder letting go and forgetting who that someone was. It's all an illusion and was never real. The best way to go is no contact in my opinion. I hope this helps some it's the best way I know how to explain. Goodluck.
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A narc is miserable. Although they may appear to have everything and in the spotlight, they are miserable people who do miserable things. I have seen narcs who just like rubbing your face in a situation. And once you become that person who they want to make miserable, they will keep targeting you until you ignore them as if they are nothing.
It’s not enough for some to just ride off into the sunset and take their win. They are controllers. I guess they realize they're good at something and they love what they do.
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It’s a game.
People with no moral compass, and no human feelings, like narcissists, want to turn your world upside down and teach you a lesson. This lesson is born out of hatred and envy.
Everything the narcissist wants to teach you is worthless, because narcissists are worthless.
They know even though you say you love them, they’re going to prove to you how absolutely worthless and disgusting they actually are. They know you will eventually hate them.
It’s all a sick, demented game.
Their attempt to destroy you, is an attempt to destroy anything truly good—due to the hatred and envy that narcissists feel.
If they can succeed in “teaching” you a lesson, i.e., a worthless piece of garbage can make you feel the opposite of love for them, then in their twisted mind, they have achieved their goal. It feeds their sadism and their masochism, which is one of the few “delights” they can experience.
The smile when they hurt you, or when you’ve realised a truth about their character, is a form of this enjoyment. It feeds their ego, which cannot deal with the reality of love or light. They cannot go there.
Hurting you, is hurting innocence, and they never were innocent. They hate anything that is loving and trusting, while pretending initially to love that about you.
But the truth is, you have to hate them in some ways, to keep them away—it’s a means of protection. If you can’t feel enmity there is always a risk of falling back into the trauma bond. At the most, you have to view them as dangerous, sick creatures to stay away from.
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They harass you because they need drama in their lives. Once they find a new supply they will leave you alone because their drama will come from the new supply.
They need problems.
They must have problems.
They seek to be miserable and need to be in a victim mode at all times. Once they aren’t in a victim mode, they feel uncomfortable. They can’t just walk around without complaints and no sympathy from outsiders. They are delusional and need their false wounds to heal. It’s like when someone falsely sues someone for money when they know nothings wrong with them.
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Because narcissists have no feelings except anger, hatred, malice, greed or envy, and all of the negative emotions that are part and parcel of their low-level existence.
No, they are not “hurt.” Hurt people don’t necessarily hurt others.
They were born that way.
They do not love. Their brains are not wired to love.
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Because they feed off the attention. They want to know that they still have a connection with you for future supply.
Even if they left you for someone else, they still want to know that they can have you at any moment. It's all a game to them.
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They get off from doing it. They thrive on your hurt and confusion.
They know they are indeed unworthy of love, so they look down on you for loving them. They punish you for it.
They are jealous of you. You did what they cannot do. You really loved, you succeeded in your career, you finished college, you are employed. They cannot stand you even though they say they love you. They punish you for it.
Causing hurt is their model of love. Someone important, probably at least one parent, treated them like sh!t in their past. So that is their template on what love is.
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Oh, I think they “want" to find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that makes them filthy rich, drop dead gorgeous, irresistible to everyone, never lacking in delicious choices, never accountable or responsible for any word or deed and ABSOLUTELY never, ever exposed for the evil, self absorbed, deceptive demons that they really are.
You answered your own question actually.
“They are not happy with you and they are not happy without you.“
They simply don't have the ability to sustain happy as far as “you" are concerned.
Can you imagine if they saw you moving on and content and busy and involved and (gasp) happy?
They would much prefer you remain confused, tired, drained, hopeful and despondent, lonely and sad, stuck in between.
Ah, the awesome power of it all!
Misery loves company, right?
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That's just what they do. As everyone says, "Stay away and go no contact". They are always angry and vindictive. Its part of their personality and they don’t change. Here is a description from my book "From Darkness to Embracing the Light".
There are several signs in a relationship that you are dealing with a toxic individual who has one of the Dark Triad of disorders.
First, they often do not have a capacity for empathy. They do not have the ability to authentically understand the world of another person except as it can be manipulated for their own gain. However, they can put on a good “caring” act to manipulate others for their own benefit, particularly if they fall under the heading of covert narcissist.
A covert narcissist can maintain the appearance of being a caring, loving person, and hide their qualities of anger, aggressiveness, and envy from the outside world and from their intimate partners, at least for a while.
Second, they don’t feel sorry about any wrongdoing and dislike apologizing. There is little evidence of a conscience, compassion, remorse, guilt, or concern about the impact of their behavior on others, particularly those they love. They may act apologetic or put on a show of compassion, but it is just to mask their real feelings.
Some can be incredibly good actors, fooling even the most intelligent person, judges, or therapists. From the toxic person’s point of view, the person they harmed deserved what they got because the toxic person believes they are always right. In fact, they feel entitled to act in their own self-interest, even when others suffer.
Third, they believe they have rights that others would never assume they had. They live in a world in which they have privileges that others don’t. Whether they are objectifying you, cheating on you, or trying to control you, they believe that they deserve what they seek, including when and where they seek it because it is already theirs.
They will tell you whatever they believe you need to hear in order to get what they want from you. To these people, a lie is not a lie; it’s a mechanism to control the desired outcome. Misrepresentation of information or twisting facts are tools they employ to intimidate others into compliance.
They are chameleons who project a façade that is totally different from who and what they really are. Always in disguise, whether a doctor, priest, or politician, they are not the person you think they are. These damaged souls tend to study others, such as empaths and giving people, to see how they act and what they say, and mimic them.
There is often nothing behind their words, which are little more than empty promises. They project sincerity, mimicking what others do and say, raising optimism and unfounded hope in family and friends.
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Let’s examine this. What REALLY happened up until the final discard? Did you ask them to treat you with respect and dignity in the relationship? Did you catch them lying or cheating? Did you REFUSE to give in and debase yourself for one of their absurd demands? Were they screwing around behind your back?
Did you get fed up with their abusive and cruel behavior and call them out on it?
Did you see the man/woman behind the mask - the childish, temper tantrum throwing, judgmental and hyper critical, insufferably selfish person they really are?
Did you stand up for yourself?
If any of the aforementioned is true, then the narcissist feels betrayed and therefore, wishes to completely debase and discard you from their lives. In their f’d up reality, you somehow WRONGED them, and they are now placing all of the BLAME onto you so they can absolve themselves, get rid of you, and move on to the next person without a shred of remorse.
At some point, the narcissist has realized they cannot dominate you and they are losing control over the relationship - so they jump first so they can feel assured that THEY ended it first. Are you feeling hurt, confused, blindsided? That’s EXACTLY how they want you to feel.
Has the person you thought loved and cared for you all of a sudden turned into a cruel and callous monster? That’s the REAL version of themselves. Have they WITHDRAWN all of their adoration and affection leaving you with cold hard SILENCE?
Consider yourself PUNISHED and BANISHED. Have they started to rub dirt all over your name in the face of your shared community, place of work, friends/family, etc? They wanted to get THEIR version of the story out ahead of you so they can paint YOU as the offender and THEMSELVES the victim.
Do they act as if you do not or have never EXISTED? Oh well, this is because they have felt REJECTED by you and therefore, they will ABANDON you to preserve their own ego and feel vindicated and SUPERIOR.
In their VERSION, you are WRONG and they are RIGHT. You are DONE and they have MOVED ON. But know this - whatever you did or didn’t do, this was ALWAYS going to be the inevitable outcome because narcissists are INCAPABLE of maintaining healthy and stable relationships.
They will find anything and everything to CRITICIZE you and deem you UNWORTHY. You deserve better than this. These people are incredibly unstable, delusional, self-serving, manipulative, and impossibly stubborn. Know that in sticking to your guns, you have preserved your own dignity.
Congratulations on refusing to be a doormat! Now, pick yourself up, realize your own worth, love yourself, forgive yourself, and move forward with your precious life. You don’t need this sore miserable loser anymore causing chaos and harm in your life.
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Once a narcissist claims someone, they don’t ever really leave them but in their mind the victim is their’s forever. They also consider that once the victim loves them it’s impossible to fall out of love, ever.
the narcissist comes back to see, to torment and to judge and even expects that the victim wants them back in their life. Sometimes, victims comply.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-your-feelings-even-after-they-discard-you
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How does a narcissist lose everything?
Everything the NPD or psychopath gets, they spoil, waste, and discard.
They also have the talent of causing others to lose everything.
Haven't you noticed?
It seems whenever I'm with or around a narcissist, I'm always having a lot of bad luck, mostly brought about by something to do with them.
When I was younger, an NPD in our family was called the "hex," because everywhere they went, things broke or bad luck would follow.
When I was involved with an NPD, everything would break or fall apart. Things happened at the wrong time, far too many times.
They are also for some strange reason always getting sick when it's an important date, or never feeling well, and it's always at the worst time possible. Unlike people who are actually ill, they don't seem to have any real symptoms.
So not only do they destroy anything good that comes their way, and good people, but they also bring ruin to other people.
Whenever I have cut off contact I swear to you I have “heard” that person calling my name from a distance, and bad things happen after.
Call me crazy, but I have actually heard them call my name like they are screaming at me at the top of their lungs, and the sound is like a ghostly echo that happens when I least expect it.
I am currently in this situation and trying to purify myself and surroundings. I am thinking about doing a house purification or ritual.
I am very rational, but for the past few weeks, I am not starting to believe that there is something very supernatural going on.
I do believe in some supernatural phenomena because I used to see ghosts at the psychiatric treatment centre I worked at, and so did the nurses and other staff. We saw shadow people and shadow animals too.
I am beginning to think there is more to this than mere “spookiness at a distance.”
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It depends on what you classify as “everything”.
Someone with NPD is already lost. They never had anything in terms of being a human. Narcs cannot really feel emotions like love and empathy like you and I can - and they don’t like themselves.
They live in a perpetual state of shame. They live in a reality they create. They cannot take accountability, cannot self-reflect or get better.
They cannot be a better person or learn and grow emotionally - they are emotionally a stunted toddler and their brains have on average 20% less grey matter. Narcs can only torture and hurt people and pretend to love so that someone is with them - they love no one.
They use people as “supply”. Please read the science- a narc brain is wired differently - but don’t feel sorry for them - they are out to hurt you and they want to - hurting others is how they get their fuel.
Narcs amass things because they think they are entitled to everything. Narcs are disordered as Fk. Please always remember that. This is a disorder and their brains are not wired properly.
Narcs cannot feel emotions in a normal way - they only learn cognitive behaviours on how to mimic love - empathy - caring and when a narc is with supply that is kind and empathetic it learns what may work with others - a narc just mimics these emotions and behaviours. Narcs are wired to take take take.
So often narcs will have a lot of stuff. They will take from victims, their family, and even Mother Theresa if they could have - they think only of themselves and everything, including you, (if you are in a relationship with a narc) belongs to them. They do not see people as individuals just things to control or take from for their own gain.
So a narc has already lost everything important in the human experience before they ever started the lovebombing-devalue-discard cycle with you.
Please get educated - get support and if you are looking for revenge and the part where the narc loses everything- well there are stories on Quora about how narcs lose. I haven’t seen mine really lose - but I have gone mostly no contact and that is the way to heal. BAM - Block. Avoid. Move-on from the narc.
The narc already lost - and make sure they continue to lose access to you. You’re worth more than spending another minute with the narc or wondering about a narc. No a narc won’t care they lost you - but trust me, they lost everything once they became a narc. Run!
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Listen up, because I'm about to hit you with some truth bombs that you need to hear. Do narcissists lose everything? Let’s get real—it’s like asking if a moth always gets burned when it flutters too close to the flame. And the answer? Yeah, more often than not, they do.
See, a narcissist’s game is all smoke and mirrors. They think they're the puppet master, pulling strings and fooling everyone with their grand illusions. But reality check: you can only play that hand so long before it all comes crashing down like a house of cards. Their obsession with self feeds into this vicious cycle that alienates, isolates, and ultimately, obliterates everything they’ve touched or built.
You can strut around with self-proclaimed greatness and deluded notions of superiority, but here's the kicker: people eventually see through the façade. Friends, partners, and colleagues might be captivated by the performance initially, but disillusionment is inevitable. You can only fake it till you make it if you’ve got the substance to back it up. And frankly, most narcissists don't. They're too busy basking in their reflection to build something real, something that lasts.
Even captains of industry, those who’ve bluffed their way to the top, are not immune to the fallout. Surrounding yourself with sycophants instead of those who challenge you only fortifies the echo chamber of your doom. The empire they build is made of sand, crumbling at the first tide of adversity because it was never about vision or value—it was about validation.
And let’s not even get started on personal relationships. A narcissist’s life is littered with the wreckage of discarded connections. Here today, gone tomorrow—laws of supply and demand. They were never in it for you, only for what you could reflect back to them. But when the well runs dry, when admiration transforms into animosity, that’s when the real isolation sets in. Ask yourself: who's left when ego is your only friend?
The way I see it, to be a true winner in life, the kind that doesn’t just dominate a room but also earns respect that outlasts their mortal coil, you’ve got to embrace an antidote to narcissism: humility, grit, and the relentless pursuit of true excellence. Not perfection for its own sake, but pride in genuine achievement, knowing that your fortune isn't just an illusion.
So do they lose everything? Nine times out of ten, yeah. It's not karma, it’s not fate—it's simple consequence. And if you’re reading this thinking you might have a streak of that narcissistic swagger in you, let me issue a wake-up call. Build your empire on rock, not sand. Treat allies as equals, not stepping stones. Aspire to be more than just the reflection in your mirrored sunglasses. Because at the end of the day, when the hubris fades, it’s the legacy you leave behind that speaks the loudest.
Now go out there and live as if someone is watching long after you're gone. Be formidable, not just on the surface, but in essence. That’s how you win, and keep winning.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-lose-everything
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Why do narcissists start to hate you for no reason?
They have a reason. They have many. They hate you because:
-They hate themselves.
-You have a genuine happiness about you and they don’t.
-They are jealous of you- your life, how you were raised, your success, your decisions, your friends, your family- everything about you.
-They have weird voices in their heads telling them negative things about themselves and they project that hate onto you.
NPD makes them hateful people. So, they have no other choice but to hate you.
If you get to know a narcissist for any length of time, you will learn they are angry, unhappy and hateful people. This is simply who they are. And we all know the phrase, “Haters gonna hate.” A narc is a hater…all day long.
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The narc doesn’t hate you, he hates himself. He hates what he can’t have. He hates the qualities and the character that you behold, the ones he’ll never have. He hates the life you live, your friends, your personality, wisdom, your family, and pretty much anything that pertains to you. Why? Because he would love to be in your shoes, but CAN NEVER WEAR YOUR SHOES!!!. He knows that and it hates you for that very reason.
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The narcissist will hate you for one of two reasons:
1) You are doing great, feeling inspired, feeling connected to the world and those around you, generally in a good feeling place. And the narcissist is unable to take you down from this high-flying place.
2) You are feeling down, have no good humour, low energy, unable to provide validation,… and also are lacking in the tangible, like money, quality sex, etc. No good supply on offer.
Ok, maybe if you really screwed with them, like exposed them or otherwise caused a narcissistic injury, they might hate you too.
Narcissists only really “like" people who they can use. And for them the best people to use are those who currently have something good going on, something good on offer, which the narcissist wants to take.
And the narcissist not so much enjoys taking from you, as they do watching you fall, or mourn in the loss of something which was precious to you.
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The narcissists have a vicious, sadistic Super ego that attacks them all the time because they feel small and worthless, that's why they create a False Self to hide that, so when they find a partner, they take all that sadistic viciousness they are hearing from the Superego out on the partner to make themselves feel better.
This is the only way they have to make themselves feel better and because of this, they are never going to stop doing it. You cannot make them see they are doing anything wrong. it's a defense mechanism. They have to believe their partner or others around them really are terrible people.
It's essential to their whole being as a person and they cannot stop, they don't want to stop. They are truly sick people who literally desire to make others feel worthless.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-start-to-hate-you-for-no-reason
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When and why does a
narcissist want revenge?
Narcissists are obsessed with revenge, driven by deep insecurity, vulnerability, and fear.
They mask these feelings with delusions of grandeur, bravado, and a show of strength. Despite their outward egotism, their ego and self-esteem are fragile. This fragility makes them highly sensitive to even the slightest criticism, lack of attention, or perceived slights—a phenomenon known as narcissistic injury. This injury can stem from real or imagined situations. Once a narcissist feels diminished, it can trigger a spiral into narcissistic rage or a quest for revenge.
Several factors can trigger this narcissistic injury:
Questioning their confidence: A narcissist's ego acts as a protective shell. When they face excessive demands they cannot meet, they perceive it as an attack on their confidence.
Damaged self-esteem: Beneath their façade of entitlement and self-importance, narcissists harbor deep feelings of shame and failure. Challenges to their self-image chip away at this façade, exposing their true lack of self-esteem, which they cannot handle.
Illusion of competence: Narcissists craft an illusion of being highly competent and capable, often supported by those around them. When someone highlights their failures, they become extremely defensive.
Specialists note that narcissists experience rage more quickly than the average person. While most people go through seven stages before reaching rage, a narcissist can escalate from irritation to rage almost instantly.
Triggers that others might view as mild can provoke an intense reaction in a narcissist, as they feel their ego and self-esteem have been bruised, unleashing a rush of uncontrollable emotions. The key to recognizing narcissistic rage is its exaggerated and disproportionate nature compared to typical anger.
Narcissistic rage can manifest in two ways:
Verbal or physical aggression: This includes cutting sarcasm, strong verbal outbursts, and potential violence.
Passive-aggressive behavior: This includes an icy cold demeanor, tension, resentment, sarcasm, and neglect.
Both forms of rage are attempts to exact revenge on those who they believe have exposed their weaknesses.
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Because they are spiteful liars who convince everyone THEY are the ‘poor victim’ the fact you’ve done nothing wrong is irrelevant to them. They are nasty conniving pieces of work.
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First, here is the WHY:
It seems to be in a narcissist's personality to be vindictive and seek vengeance against others who they feel have wronged them. The operative words here are “they feel" that way. It doesn't mean there is any truth or evidence to support their claims.
My ex would do something to hurt his mother and if called out on it, he would say she deserved it because she was a s**tty mom. This is typical justification from a narcissist. They always blame their victims.
They love to claim abuse whether it's from parents, siblings, relatives, their children, friends, employers, employees, exes, current significant others and even their own pets.
This mindset enables them to freely seek revenge because it gives them (in their own twisted minds) permission to punish those who have harmed them.
HOW DO THEY SEEK REVENGE?
Well, the list may be infinite. Unless you have been on the receiving end of a narcissist's vengeance, it's hard to believe they will go to the lengths they do in order to punish their “alleged abusers.”
Their favorite punishment is the SMEAR CAMPAIGN. The narcissist is unparalleled in the lies they will make up in order to trash your reputation. Often, the accusations are so ridiculous that you will think there's no need to defend yourself. You'll be wrong. People, including your own family and friends, will believe the narcissist because they are excellent at manipulating others. (I have been accused of murder, witchcraft and forcing children to take nude pictures of me.)
Another favorite is INTIMIDATION. They will make threats that leave you fearing for your job, your family and your life. Even if they never act on their threats you become a prisoner to your fear. (My ex told me he wouldn't kill me, because a well placed bullet to my face would hurt me much longer than just dying).
TAKING YOUR CHILDREN. Many narcissist will try to turn your children against you, file false reports with CPS, lie in order to get sole custody and even kidnap your children in order to keep you from seeing them. Even a mild mannered covert narcissist will geefully tell older children that you were an alcoholic, drug abuser who whored around until they were forced to leave you. (My ex's young children were told that I had kicked a pregnant woman in the belly to kill her unborn child.)
FINANCIAL RUIN. When determined to hurt you financially, a narcissist doesn't stop to think of the harm they are doing to themselves as well. They will max out credit cards to destroy your credit score, Renege on loans you co-signed for, take out new cards using your social security number, drain your bank account, refuse to pay child suppor, report you to the IRS and in a divorce case, they will destroy property rather than pay you your share of it. (I apparently spent nearly 200k on my ex and didn't know about a lot of it until after I dumped him.)
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE. Narcissists can attack you and even try to kill you if they feel justified. Rape is often a choice for them when they go into a rage if you try to leave them. Never underestimate this aspect of what they are capable of doing to you if they want revenge. (My ex was finally arrested and charged with aggravated assault with a firearm)
PROPERTY DAMAGE. They are particularly fond of arson. Mine liked to burn my clothes. A friend on Quora had an ex set her car on fire. If you have a family heirloom that means a lot to you, it is likely to be broken. (When I threw my ex out, he took everything that wasn't nailed down, including the shower heads. He knocked holes in the walls, poured cat litter in the drains and locked a raccoon in the house. )Their ability to destroy your property can reach epic creativity.
TAUNTING YOU. Narcissists love to send their flying monkeys after you, to paint a picture of how happy they are without you in their lives. These people will tell you endless stories so that you will suffer more. The narcissist will also post photos of themselves and their new supply on social media along with comments about how wonderful the relationship is. The goal of this is to convince you that YOU are at fault so you start to question if you were actually the narcissist.
HOOVERING. The narcissist will reappear in your life without warning to try to convince you that they regret everything that went wrong in your relationship. They will tell you everything you ever wanted to hear and once again will love bomb the hell out of you. When you finally get worn down and decide to give them another chance, they will possibly have sex with you, or engage in some wild sexting or romantic phone calls, then abruptly ghost you or tell you they have found someone else. This Hoovering is usually just a way to inflict a little more pain on you while feeding their ego.
DAMAGE TO YOUR CAREER. A narcissist can go all out here. They can hack into your computer and plant false evidence that you are stealing from your employer, tell your boss or coworkers that you are using drugs and even tamper with your car so you are constantly late for work.
ACCUSE YOU OF CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR. Expect to have drugs planted in your car or home. They will bruise themselves and claim you attacked them, even getting their flying monkeys to be witnesses. They will file false police reports, perjure themselves in court and lie to get restraining orders against you. One even tried to have me committed by claiming I was a dangerous drug abuser who was breaking into her house and hanging dead animal parts in it.
These people with NPD are nasty and vindictive and will go to unbelievable lengths to get revenge on you for the slightest reason they can conjure up.
And in their quest to punish you, they will stalk you until you die, write nasty comments on your obituary, s**t on your grave and come back for years afterwards to vandalize your tombstone.
https://www.quora.com/When-and-why-does-a-narcissist-want-revenge
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Why do narcissists want control?
A narcissist wants control because it takes the place of love. When you lack love and true affective empathy for another, then control takes the place of that.
Control becomes synonymous with "life" itself for a narcissist. Everything they do has to be exactly as they want. It's not for the betterment of all involved, but simply because they feel that they need to have control over you.
For example, a few years ago I had to get a new phone, and my friend had some suggestions so we went to look at some phones. A family member who has NPD got very upset with me for making plans to go get a phone because it was a day before Christmas Eve. I didn't know what the big deal was because it wasn't Christmas Eve yet, and I needed a new phone to communicate regarding my employment and other matters.
They created a big drama out of this and ruined Christmas Eve. They also attacked my friend.
Then the narcissist also tried to ruin my plans for eating at Emeril Lagasse's restaurant. I had planned and made reservations beforehand and everyone who was invited was excited to go.
So essentially, they created the drama just to spite my happiness and others' happiness, and they did not like that I was the one who made the plans. They wanted to be in full control.
The irony here is that the narcissist was also invited to the meal.
Why would they ruin something that would clearly be pleasant for them too? After all, how many people get to dine at a nice restaurant on Christmas Eve?
I realised since that day that everything they did was just about control. Even if you are being kind to them, they will try and destroy any semblance of kindness, love, or sharing, simply to have control.
Why? Because they are evil. They have no love or contentment, and just want to create havoc and destruction.
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They want control because they feel a deep-seated sense of powerlessness and inadequacy.
Narcissists are often people who grew up in homes where they felt neglected or unsupported. As a result, they develop an inflated sense of self-importance as a way to make themselves feel better. But this false sense of superiority is always fragile and can be easily shattered, which leads to feelings of insecurity and shame. To avoid these negative emotions, narcissists need to be in control at all times so that they can protect their shaky ego from being damaged again.
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In my experience with a narcissist friend, they want control in relationships because they largely feel powerless in virtually every aspect of their lives. If someone hands over control to them, it’s constant validation.
My former friend is a covert narcissist. He would only try to assert control with people he felt he could control — usually passive, easy-going people. Any time there was a more dominant personality in the room, he’d keep his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself.
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Because it gives them a feeling of power and superiority. It boosts their ego to know they can make you do things you don’t want to do or prevent you from doing the things you want to do. They need that power over another person in order to validate themselves. They are like little boys and girls that need attention from their mommy and daddy but not in a good way. They are the brat that wants everything done their way and will use every mind manipulation to succeed. If they are not in control how can they control you?
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Narcissists often seek control for several interrelated reasons:
Self-Esteem Regulation: Narcissists typically have fragile self-esteem. By exerting control over situations and people, they can bolster their self-image and feel more powerful.
Fear of Vulnerability: Control helps narcissists avoid feelings of vulnerability and inadequacy. They often fear being exposed or rejected, so they manipulate their environment to maintain a sense of superiority and security.
Validation and Admiration: Narcissists crave admiration and validation from others. By controlling relationships and interactions, they can ensure that they receive the attention and praise they desire.
Lack of Empathy: Many narcissists struggle with empathy, making it difficult for them to understand or care about the needs and feelings of others. This can lead them to prioritize their own desires for control over the well-being of those around them.
Fear of Abandonment: Narcissists may have a deep-seated fear of abandonment. By controlling others, they attempt to secure their relationships and prevent being left alone.
Manipulation and Exploitation: Control allows narcissists to manipulate others to serve their interests, whether for personal gain, status, or to maintain their desired image.
Overall, the need for control in narcissists is often a defense mechanism that helps them navigate their insecurities and maintain their self-perception as superior or special.
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Exactly for that simple reason. They have no self control. Everything is in the moment with them.
So they feel as they have to manipulate everyone and everything around them in order to be in control.
Control equals attention, self esteem, self worth, it equals power.
They never had the power or control over anything that happened or it was done to them as children.
As adults now being in control is crucial to them. It's a survival tactic!
Being in control, they can better assess people and circumstances without having to trust anybody. They don't trust anybody. They don't even trust themselves.
Through control, manipulation and power, they always get what they want. Whatever it may be!
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Narcissists are very insecure people. Narcissists are afraid of losing the people they have. Narcissists believe that if they can control you, then it will be very easy for them to keep you around. Narcissists believe that if they don't control you, you will just leave them. Narcissists feel good when they keep you under control; it makes them feel powerful and in authority, which manages their shaky self-esteem.
Narcissists will gaslight, abuse, lie, and deceive to change circumstances according to them. Being in control gives narcissists security. Narcissists get their narcissistic supply by controlling you. For narcissists, relationships are all about control and power; they want to dominate the relationship.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-control
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:tello: On a personal note:
Sometimes, those who prefer solitude aren’t antisocial or withdrawn. They’re simply people who have learned to value their peace of mind over superficial connections. It’s not that they don’t enjoy the company of others; it’s that they have no interest in participating in the noise that often comes with it. They’ve chosen to surround themselves with authenticity, and they’re not willing to compromise that for the sake of fitting in or pleasing others.
These individuals understand the importance of quality over quantity when it comes to relationships. They’d rather invest their time and energy in a few meaningful connections than spread themselves thin across a sea of acquaintances. They’ve learned that true friendship isn’t about how many people you know, but about the depth of the bond you share with those who truly matter.
It’s not about being better than anyone else; it’s about protecting their space from the chaos that can come from unnecessary drama and superficial interactions. They recognize that life is too short to spend it around people who drain their energy or bring negativity into their world. Instead, they focus on building a life that aligns with their values, filled with peace, honesty, and genuine connection.
These individuals are not antisocial—they’re selective. They’ve chosen to be around people who uplift them, challenge them in positive ways, and bring out the best in them. And in doing so, they’ve created a life that is rich in peace and authenticity. Their solitude is not a sign of loneliness, but of self-respect and self-awareness. They’ve learned that sometimes the best company you can keep is your own.
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:shame:When does a narcissist
fear you the most? :guilt:
Listen up. I'm about to drop some knowledge on you that’ll make waves across the internet. The question is: When does a narcissist fear you the most? You see, there's a side to this that's deeper than most people realize. Narcissists, those manipulative puppeteers of emotions, live in their own delusional game of thrones, reigning with an iron fist over their fragile kingdom of ego. But let’s cut through the noise and get to the cold hard truth: a narcissist fears you the most when you hold up a mirror to their reality and walk away unbothered.
First, understand this, my Queen Lana tribe. A narcissist thrives on control and validation. They need it like a shark needs water, because without it, they’re nothing more than a floundering fish on dry land. They're terrified of exposure – terrified of you seeing through the mask and recognizing that behind the grandiose facade lies nothing but insecurity and weakness. The moment you see them for what they truly are and call them out on it, their world starts to crumble like a cheap sandcastle against the tide.
But the real kicker? It’s when you liberate yourself from their grip. When you decide you’ve had enough of their games and you choose to walk away with your head held high, these leeches start to panic. They fear losing their influence over you, because without it, they’re just another face in the crowd, stripped of power and significance. You show them that they have no authority over your life choices, your emotions, or your self-worth.
And let me tell you this – the moment you stop feeding their ego with attention, whether it's anger, love, or fear, you starve them of their most prized nourishment. Indifference, my Queen Lana tribe, is your weapon. A narcissist fears your indifference more than anything else because it renders them powerless. When you no longer react, when you no longer engage in their toxic dance, you hit them where it hurts the most.
So here’s your game plan, warriors: Stand tall, recognize your worth, and cut the strings they use to manipulate you. Turn your back on their twisted mind games and set your sights on superior conquests. Play the long game, because in the end, your strength and clarity will sear through their delusion. Be the force of nature that they cannot ignore yet cannot control. This is your life, and it’s time to live it on your terms.
Now, go out there and show the world you’re not just another player in their circus. Be the ringleader of your destiny and let them choke on the dust of your departure. You’ve got this.
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When you evolve and ascend despite all the bullshit they've put you through. No amount of pain was able to stop you from growing and it damn sure didn't corrupt you. You remained solid through it all like a real soldier.
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I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s when they can’t see or hear from you.
Not knowing what you’re doing means you could be up to no good whatever that is.
And not having this control over you, what you’re doing, where you’re at, who you’re talking to, or what you’re talking about is a total mind screw for them.
You could be planning something big or sharing too much personal information. No matter if you are doing nothing it still makes no sense to the narcissist.
They fear your every move as they know you should fear theirs!
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Never, they move onto their next victim, the only fear felt by a narc is being alone with themselves who they loath bcuz they know the monsters’ they are. That's why they need their victims, their steps to get on top of that horse, high above everyone, just like that movie Gladiator, when that King used his slaves as steps, walking on their backs, and what happened when he was proven a mortal? Thats a Narc, he fears being alone with himself.
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When you KNOW EVERYTHING, you take their power away.………their absolute worst fear is being exposed. They need that constant supply to feed their continuously rotting ego and disgusting power “highs”. Living in a delusional reality, is truly their only way to survive. You threaten this, and they’re scared shitless. I kinda doubt that you'd ever be hovered. Now, they just want your existence on this earth to go away forever.
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Narcissists fear when you stand up for yourself. Narcissists take it as an insult; it hurts their egos. You have challenged narcissists. Deep inside, they fear losing control and authority over you. Narcissists will use all their tactics to get control over you.
Narcissists will try to gaslight you into believing that you are the problem; avoid falling for it. Narcissists are disturbed and unstable people who believe everyone should behave in ways that make them comfortable. Let narcissists be uncomfortable and alone in their paranoia, jealousy, envy, and need to control others who threaten them. You set your boundaries and continue to make them suffer.
Leaving narcissists is very important too; being with narcissists and standing up for yourself will bring more problems to you from their side.
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When you start to play them at there own game! When they no you've got them sussed out and stop dancing to there tune !! But it will be hard to play them at there own game as your not a narcissist? But you can at least don't be the puppet on the string. Cut your self loose and try showing no interest whatever their playing at, these people are cowards and in most cases it will be mind games. Don't show any interest and don't take the bait as that's exactly what they want. You will notice a confused look on there face!!!
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There is one thing a narcissist fears more than anything else.
If you think about it, you may come to the conclusion that this is the only thing he is afraid of.
The narcissist is afraid of rejection. It’s not about rejecting who he really is because the narcissist abandoned his identity long ago.
The fear is the rejection of his false identity, the role he plays, and the mask he presents.
A narcissist pretends to be someone he is not, and everything he does from the moment he starts devaluing you is a response to rejection.
https://www.quora.com/When-does-a-narcissist-fear-you-the-most
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They hate that you have light, and they are bottomless pits of darkness.
The Narcissist's Dark Secret: Here's Why They Hate You
Uncover the hidden truths of narcissists in this revealing video, 'The Narcissist's Dark Secret: Here's Why They Hate You.' We'll delve into the complexities of narcissists' shadow self, their fragile ego, and how they perceive themselves in relation to empaths and codependents. Discover the reasons behind why the narcissist harbors resentment and hatred, shedding light on the dynamics of narcissistic abuse and codependency. Explore the role of shame, people-pleasing, and the importance of setting boundaries in navigating relationships with narcissists. Join us as we uncover the dark secrets of narcissists and empower you to heal and protect yourself.
@aprilmg7072
1 year ago
They hate you because fundamentally they hate life.
@sunshineagainandagain
8 days ago
They hate you because they envy you. They are too competitive. They are sick.
@rickde2709
1 year ago
They hate you because they see the parts they hate about their own self in you. So yeah basically they hate themselves.
@richardjohanson6421
1 year ago
Narcissism is a learned behavior from childhood! Empath is a gift from above! It comes naturally to care for ppl more than yourself!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGJTIhtWwXE
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The Truth Behind a Narcissist's Downfall:
They Know It All Too Well
Today, we are going to discuss a topic that many people can relate to: the reality of a Narcissist who has messed up their life, and the important fact that they are fully aware of it. It is crucial to understand that they do know what they have done. They have ventured out into what they believed were greener pastures, leaving you feeling abandoned and hurt.
Now, they have come to realize who truly deserves their respect and love—who the real king or queen is—and they understand where they genuinely want to be. Ultimately, they want to be with you. Unfortunately, by the time this realization hits them, it is often too late. They failed to appreciate your presence when you were with them, so now they must confront the consequences of your absence.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZOILm7hOQw
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Did you know?
-
They are emotional vampires. They suck the life out of you.
WHERE IT ALL GOES WRONG FOR THE NARCISSIST
Where the narcissist continues to go wrong. The narcissist overplays their hand. They don’t think anyone will ever figure out who they are. The narcissist believes they can manipulate in full anybody. The narcissist is a coward and a bully. The narcissist continues to go wrong because they keep repeating the same cycle of abuse over and over again with different people. The narcissist can’t grow or introspect. The narcissist is stuck in the loop of the narcissistic cycle.
@dashabateman4409
17 hours ago
People are beginning to wake up! Narcissism awareness is spreading. Andrew thank you so much for making DAILY videos and responding to comments. You are a great person! You are a beautiful bright shining light!
@OfSoulAndSin
18 hours ago
I tell this from personal experience, scorpions are wwaaayyyyy more trustworthy than a narcissist.
@flowerpower4944
16 hours ago
His biggest mistake was gaslighting me with a group of people ,while in a restaurant,,insidious and Deliberate,they hate not being in the Limelight
@Weltliteratur-
18 hours ago
Reality and their self perception are diametric. If they get a glimpse of reality, they swiftly sneak back to their parallel universe of selfishness.
@marieeakin8534
17 hours ago
The narcissist goes wrong by believing there own delusions.Not able to reflect, take accountability or make room for growth....they continue to live day to day, conniving to get their way....only to repeat losing people as their lives take a deep dive!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIyQPAR8XIc
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The sad fact is most of us will be listening to this in hindsight. The good news is you’ll have been through the storm and to the other side!
When Narcissists Discard and Devalue: The Late Stages of Codependent Narcissistic Relationships
In the devaluing and discarding phase of a narcissistic codependent relationship, the dynamic starts to shift noticeably. The partner who once seemed loving and attentive begins to pull back, becoming critical or indifferent. This leaves the codependent feeling unsure and trying to figure out how to win back that affection.
As the relationship progresses, the narcissist may continue to withdraw, making things feel increasingly one-sided. Eventually, this can lead to the narcissist ending the relationship altogether, which can leave the codependent feeling lost and hurt as they navigate this sudden change. Navigating the end of a narcissistic relationship can be difficult, but by setting the right boundaries you can break free of them for good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIaBawaioiY
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Narcissists aren't the only ones who get triggered. Victims of Narcissistic abuse have triggers too.
When a Narcissist
is Triggered, Others
Pay the Price
Saying “no” to a narcissist, setting boundaries, or disagreeing with them will trigger their fear of rejection through the “perception of rejection”. These are old unresolved wounds that will show their true colours quickly. In this clip from Tim's series on Codependency and Complex Trauma, Tim talks about what happens when a narcissist is triggered, how they manipulate, and the 3 types of narcissist.
@shirleyguinyard8183
3 weeks ago
When they get mad at you they love to remind you of what they did for you and call you ungrateful .
@user-kk8vc9ck3t
4 weeks ago
I'm not a narcissist. I am trying to survive, and I'm happy to be alone.
@maddyG7414
1 month ago
People with high narcissism traits are happy to bring up everything you do wrong or the things they disagree with, but if you mention anything you question in them, suddenly you’re attacking them and obviously just sensitive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODeC0fnDZMA
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This is What the NARCISSIST NEVER THOUGHT you would do that makes them regret until they Die |STOIC
Explore how Stoicism empowers you to confront narcissistic behavior with grace and wisdom. Learn how to break free from toxic cycles using ancient philosophies that emphasize self-awareness and inner resilience. Stoic Life Tips channel guides you through practical steps to set boundaries, maintain self-worth, and foster authentic relationships despite narcissistic challenges.
Join us on a journey toward understanding and healing as we delve into timeless wisdom that empowers you to thrive beyond narcissistic influence. Discover what it means to embody Stoicism in the face of adversity and redefine your path to personal empowerment.
@Alan-i3z1i
1 day ago
Wow thank you for explaining about narcissism, didn't know one of the traits, is when they give you the silent treatment, like ignoring your txt and calls, what I've learned is block them and get them out of my life, good advice to cut all contacts. Learned the hard way, thank you for your time and advice. If anyone experienced this, don't suffer in silence, 1. Lose contact completely. 2. Seek talking therapist through your GP. 3. Tell people how you've been mistreated to the people you feel comfortable with 4. Focus on yourself health and fitness traveling and ambitions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QhnSe8TLfM
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How do narcissists
treat old supply?
They treat old supply’s according to how much they hate you and if you tried to make them change or if you caused a narc injury! They will always blame you, seek vengeance and see you as a threat.
They will not admit any wrongdoing; they believe their own delusional convoluted made up lies they live from a prideful grandiose attitude of superiority.
It’ not even remotely possible to deal with an emotionally stunted child! Arrested development who takes no responsibility for all the madness and chaos they create! And then project this onto you in a smear campaign or character assassination.
These people can be very dangerous. They play games with people's lives and then they project and blame on the target person (scapegoat ) for all their inner misery they created.
They are drama kings and queens and thrive on chaos they create and live a very twisted delusional fantasy world. A childish me me me attitude is pathetic and sick behavior and no real bases of realty! So to the degree of devaluing you put you through you better believe that’s how they are. That’s their true inner nature, and they are the victim and they blame you for everything and that’s exactly how they will always treat you!
Only time they are nice is to manipulate and use you? They don’t care they don't have ethics, morals or value you in the least so take as no closer is up to you to stay no contact stay clear from their grip, their abusive twisted childish nature. You will only be abused and run down and degraded again! They are just users, abusers and losers.
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Depends on what the supply provides.
I created 4 supply labels in my book.
Hot supply. The current partner lorded over social media, workplaces, bars, clubs. Local areas. Adored. Perfect. Being lovebombed. Fresh meat. New meat. The One.
Warm supply. The side-piece who thinks she is important because the narc needs her attention and toxic loyalty. She is a permanent fixture or recent ex.
Tepid supply. Long term ex. Long term sexter. Low self esteem. Occasionally brought in as las resort for sex. Old or young. Not attractive. Over eager.
Cold supply. Completely dumped/walked away ex. This person has had a VERY LUCKY ESCAPE!
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They treat them like absolute sh!t. They wont acknowledge that they exist. Its like they have a delete button. You are nothing to them. They will ignore you and make everyone think that it's you that has issues. You were nothing to them while you were with them. And now that you're not, they have deleted you.
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Narcissists are focused on their needs and wants today. Now. Are they getting attention and validation? Is there a primary supply giving it to them?
How they engage with old supply depends on:
Value - Did you provide them validation that they miss? They cannot self-validate.
Proximity/Availability - Are you nearby? Are you easily reachable? They don’t want to risk themselves.
Forgiving/Merciful - Are you likely to forgive their past antics and the devaluation? Are you currently responding to their texts and calls positively? Do you value them more than yourself?
Most narcissists leave doors open with old supply who are willing to engage. The narcissist wants you to stay available. The narcissist did the same thing with their old supply when you were the new supply.
If you are an ex to a narcissist, you don’t deserve mixed messages, confusing statements, hot and cold responses, and a cracked door to an already failed relationship. You deserve respect.
Even in a normal relationship, no matter how great it was early on, if it failed, there was a reason. It could be the compatibility to go long term wasn’t there. Or, there was an imbalance in affection. Or, there were dealbreakers that could not be overcome. Most people don’t change at a core level and that’s part of responsibility of dating, to be self aware and notice your partner’s strengths and weaknesses.
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Nothing if they can't control or manipulate them anymore. If you know too much they'll see you as the enemy and will do 1 out of 2 things.
Stay far away from you completely out of fear of being exposed
Turn everyone against you through lies and etc. It depends on the type you're dealing with on how extreme things can get.
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They are emotional cowards and, as such, don’t want any of the responsibility of dealing with their actions. Old supply still reminds them of who they are and what they are capable of. They ran the relationship into the ground, too many lies to remember, too many transgressions to keep secret. Feelings they can’t resolve. They run. They reinvent themselves. Over there they are whatever they say they are. They avoid us because being an adult and accountable for what they have done is outside their capabilities. They are destined to a life of self sabotage and loneliness.
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Exactly like you'd treat your old iPhone that you didn't trade in for a new one and have an old iCloud account on.
You'd stick it in a junk drawer and pull it out from time to time to look at all your old pictures and videos and then turn it off and throw it back in the drawer until the next time you thought about it.
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How will a narcissist act around his former supply after recently being discarded by his latest supply? A narcissist always has a revolving door in his harems. Sources of supply come and go, so a narcissist will always have multiple sources at any given time. There will always be former supply, recently discarded supply, ghosted supply, and many others, who continue to ride the merry-go-round with the narcissist. Most don’t know about each other.
If the narcissist is hoovering a former supply whose soul he wants to again feast upon, he’ll tell her he ended things with the latest supply because “She’s just not you. I realize now how much I love you and missed you, and I just had to come see you.” Plus, that Irma Grese is crazy!!
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-treat-old-supply
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What are the signs that
a narcissist is miserable?
Signs a narcissist is MISERABLE?
Are they breathing? :lol:
Narcissists are notoriously miserable within, that is why they need to tear down others and make the chosen scape goat MISERABLE. It takes away their misery even if only in the moment of seeing someone else suffer. It energizes them to see other's suffer where it saps them into misery when others are happy!
Sorry, no sympathy on my end about “their misery”. This is just on point and factual about the ins of their mindset.
Their misery is self inflicted slights because they see themselves much more important than all others and if not treated as such 24/7, they go into their twisted thinking and hard head of nothingness obsessing on “how dare thee not worship me”. “How dare thee think this moment is about them”. How dare thee think about anything or anyone, but MEEEE” and if that “anyone” DARE feel happy because of something in their life that it is important, then beware you will get the narcs unsupportive, insulting, criticizing, gas lighting tear down wrath to bring you down which in turn put the focus off your moment and back onto them. Even if it is negative towards their ridicule, it still gets you from a happy high, to a miserable low in your head trying to figure out what the HELL!
Then they win. You miserable, they happy for that moment!
There is no pleasing these tyrants. You may appease them in a moment, but its always fleeting and only momentary and away they go on to the next perceived nothingness slight into their miserable way of thinking.
Don't worry, its never anything you actually have done wrong. Its just how they are hardwired and NO ONE CAN EVER make them TOTALLY HAPPY nor should anyone EVER make it their mission to try and do so. its mental, emotional and phycological suicide to try and dedicate one's life to appeasing an un-appeasable narcissist.
Some people think because they are miserable within that we should give them a hall pass and feel sorry for their misery, but that's total and utter BS. We feel sorry for them even though they go out of their way and to EXTREME measures to make us feel like SH!T? Naw they do it to themselves because they are SELFISH SELFISH angry SELFISH ME ME ME demons!
Their misery is self inflicted and their is no cure, not medication, not therapy, not enough comfort from you to love away their misery!
Its just who they are and always will be!
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Have you noticed they're never happy for long? Especially after a public activity that should have been fun. They were smiling at the event but were completely different on the drive home.
They're hyper.
They have to be constantly entertained.
This is because they are always in pursuit of something to take their mind off what they are. This is why the phone is always in their hand, they are probably on a dating site or texting a new target.
If they have no prospects. They are gloomy, irritable, and looking out the window with that thousand yard stare. They are miserable to you because they hate themselves and want to get rid of that feeling by projecting it onto you.
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Any person who takes great pleasure in hurting another can not be happy with themselves. A genuinely happy person is happy when they make others happy.
Only a truly miserable person gets an almost euphoric high trying to destroy another.
There is something fundamentally wrong with any human being who takes pleasure in another's misfortune….that, right there is proof that they are miserable.
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The feelings of shame, the black or white vision of the world, the insecurity, the sensibility to criticism, the necessity to internally lie, the necessity of never being seen as weak, the necessity to receive praises.
Rationally I know this is all bad for myself, but my mind keeps working like that. It's like a bunch of noise that keep reminding that I have to worry about how others sees me.
When the noise ceases for a second, the emptiness is indescribable. If I get praised, the happiness that I feel is intoxicating. If someone makes a critique, I feel like my blood pressure has gone through the roof and the bad sensations on my gut are terrible.
We never have peace, maybe when we're lying but this is just a palliative.
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Narcissists are miserable in so many ways:
When the narcissist is especially miserable he or she will be moody and contemptuous, which can lead to “narcissist rages.”
When the narcissist is miserable he or she will snap at you for minor things, sometimes becoming full on sessions of emotional terrorism.
When the narcissist is miserable he or she will refuse to do any chores in the household.
When the narcissist is miserable he or she will be passive aggressive and nitpick you to death.
The narcissist will make you aware of his or her misery by sulking publicly.
The narcissist will show you that he or she is miserable by throwing tantrums when you reasonably ask him or her to do anything they don't want to do.
The narcissist is miserable when he or she launches into tirades about something or somebody he or she doesn't like.
The narcissist is miserable when he or she is outdone in absolutely anything.
The narcissist is miserable when you have a opinion or thought or feelings they don't approve of.
The narcissist is miserable when he or she loses at anything.
The narcissist is miserable when he or she makes a promise because they know they will break it, but making even a effort is too hard.
The narcissist is miserable when you are at your best. So he or she must cut you down.
Not a comprehensive list but narcissists are miserable almost constantly, they live in a world of misery and misery loves company so they think why don't we inflict some onto somebody else?
But the truth is that no amount of suffering they make you feel will alleviate the misery that they go thru. But rather than stop, they just figure, “Hey, this is a bottomless well of misery? Well, I'll just inflict maximum suffering on others and it'll go away, right? Right?”
Narcissists have zero self-awareness into their own suffering and repress it because they want to appear superior. When they feel too stressed out by their internal well of suffering, they inflict pain on you.
Narcissists will show their misery outwardly rather than inwardly, so be prepared for a lot of games where they take their anger out on you. They want total dominance, both over their own feelings of misery and over you.
They can't tolerate being miserable for long. When it all boils over they tend to abuse the people closest to them. You will see their behavior change instantly to somebody you don't recognize. It can be quite frightening.
Narcissists really need to be miserable and tell me I look like garbage, but I know they're miserable because they tell themselves that all the time and they just can't deal with their feelings.
It's not even sad anymore.
Just annoying that they hate everybody else so much when they are miserable.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-signs-that-a-narcissist-is-miserable
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Do all narcissists have nightmares?
That’s why they don’t sleep right. There’s torment going on in that mind of theirs and that’s why they struggle with sleep and bad sleeping patterns. At least mine did. She would go to sleep very late like 3 or 4 am, only falling off to sleep when she was exhausted and then wake up after 3 hours.
She had a prescription of Xanax and took extra to sleep. She didn’t work so (or more like couldn’t work), so she would catnap during the day. That torment in their brain knowing that they're f*cked up won’t let them relax like a normal person does. Karma.
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What is the narcissist's worst nightmare?
The premature discard, by you.
Narcissists like to control the tempo of all their relationships –
When people are a part of their lives
When people no longer serve a purpose, and must depart their lives (ie the discard)
When it comes to the primary supply, the narcissist keeps close tabs –
Because the narcissist must know where the person's mind is at, at all times.
Narcissists often do change primary supply multiple times over the course of their lives.
After all, you do get mighty boring, low potency, after some time.
But it must always be on the narcissist's watch, not on the watch of the other person.
The relationship must only end, the discard must only happen, when the narcissist is ready.
Given that the primary supply is the main person which keeps the narcissist grounded, keeping their emotions reasonably regulated, the narcissist can only do away with this person when a new primary supply, which has been groomed, tried, and tested, is in a position to be the replacement.
But what if the current primary supply suspects something is going on, and that a discard may be on the tables for the near future?
What if you discard the narcissist, before the narcissist has the replacement in the right place?
That is the ultimate injury to the narcissist, in so many ways.
One which they find difficult to recover from.
How come?
First of all, it shows how the narcissist underestimated their current supply. Thinking the person was too weak, dependent, to leave the narcissist, which on its own hurts the narcissists ego and confidence enormously.
But at least equally as important, the narcissist has lost the person who has been the best tool for regulating their emotions.
When they lose their main object of projection, doormat, unexpectedly, they lose their sense of grounding.
No longer having an outlet for their toxicity, which they must now live with.
It slowly kills them.
So if you discard the narcissist when they were not quite ready to leave you, just know you would have pulled the carpet from beneath their feet, shattering their overall sense of stability.
They will most likely want you to stay, return to them, and will do whatever it takes to achieve this.
Just make sure you expect these behaviours from them, as it will be easier for you to ignore when they actually happen, no matter how convincing.
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Not all narcissists experience nightmares, but research suggests that individuals with narcissistic traits may have a higher likelihood of experiencing certain sleep disturbances, including nightmares. This can be linked to underlying issues such as anxiety, stress, or unresolved emotional conflicts that may be more prevalent in narcissistic individuals.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and while some people with narcissistic traits may have nightmares, others may not. Nightmares can be influenced by various factors, including personality, mental health, life experiences, and stress levels, which means the relationship between narcissism and nightmares is not straightforward.
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My ex narc said he had “dreams” though he said he didn't recall a lot of them, but I got the feeling they weren't pleasant.
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There aren't any actual statistics about narcissists having nightmares, so all the answers you get will probably be based on people's personal experiences with the narcissist they know.
The last narcissist I was involved with claimed he didn't dream. However I know he did and they were usually nightmares. The ironic thing is how telling they were about who he really was. Two of them stand out in my mind:
The first was that he and I were taking a shower together and I abruptly got out. Within seconds after I left the bathroom, a truck plowed through the wall and crushed him. He awoke screaming and immediately told me that he knew that was what was going to happen; that I would walk away from our relationship and leave him irreparably damaged.
Lol, As it happened, I did walk away but I was the one who was damaged. I personally think that his nightmare was the beginning of him projecting everything that was wrong in our relationship onto me.
The second one, he woke up yelling from fear. He said that in the nightmare, he was sleeping and a noise awakened him. He laid still and in the corner, he saw a dark shadow floating towards him until it enveloped him. He told me he felt like it was pure evil and it was attempting to take over his body.
Again, it seemed prophetic about the other side of him that was going to be in control very soon in our relationship.
I like to think that somewhere in their subconscious, they know there's something not quite right with them and it reveals itself in their dreams.
Of course, the next day, he denied any memory of having nightmares and insisted he never dreamed at all.
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I don’t know if all do but my ex certainly did, in that he had bad nightmares much more than the ‘average person’. Graphic, horrifying, violent nightmares that regularly woke him up and bothered him during the day. He’d often text me about his nightmares and talked of the violence and malice in them.
The bad dreams often involved his children and he was very disturbed by some of his dreams. It was strange to wake up to some of his text messages and I sometimes wondered if he was a bit crazy with all his negative energy. Here’s some of the many ‘nightmare’ texts he sent me in quite a short space of time (approx. 18 months):
“OMG. Nightmares, nightmares, nightmares, extremely detailed, fantastic, accurate, descriptive gory, violent. Ignore the following [paragraph edited out] panic, screams, horror! Wake yourself up!!!! Quick is it a dream?”
“Didn't have a good night, I had absolutely horrendous nightmares. Not in a good place right now with a few issues”
“Slept really bad last night, horrible nightmares again, awake time and time again”
“I had the most horrendous nightmares last night, woke up nearly shouting. Gory, violent and so vivid!”
“Feel absolutely shite today obviously didn't sleep well, had nightmares about the kids and they really stick with me through the day”
“I am shattered, went to bed just after midnight, had some horrible nightmares”
“I slept like shite, had some nightmares about the kids, and was awake early”
“I had a horrible and disturbing nightmare last night”
“I'm so tired. I had horrible nightmares”
“Second rubbish night sleep in a row, really long, tense and horrible nightmares”
“I didn't sleep well, I had some really horrible nightmares”
“Didn't sleep well. Had some stupid nightmares”
“Lots of nightmares last night”
“I slept horribly last night, couldn't stop thinking and revolving in bed, then had nightmare”
“Didn't have a good night, I had absolutely horrendous nightmares”
I wonder if all the sinister dreams and bad things he witnessed in his sleep were him seeing his true self? The damage he had done to others over the years, haunting him.
Who knows?
https://www.quora.com/Do-all-narcissists-have-nightmares
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How do narcissists destroy their own relationships?
Narcissists are experts at ruining their own relationships, which is one reason why you can never make them happy.
Their self-sabotage comes from three main reasons:
1. They can’t see the whole picture:
Narcissists can’t see you as a complete person. You’re either “all good” or “all bad” in their eyes. When something goes wrong, they can’t stay positive about the relationship and assume it’s over.
Because of this, when they see you as “all bad,” they might do or say things that seriously harm the relationship.
They might:
Say something so hurtful that it changes everything.
Reveal your deepest secrets.
Destroy something important to you.
Cheat on you.
Once they switch back to seeing you as “all good,” they forget ever thinking you were “all bad.” They don’t remember saying or doing anything hurtful because they "never felt that way." This is when you’ll hear things like:
"That never happened."
"I would never say that to you!"
"That doesn’t sound like me."
2. They need constant admiration (narcissistic supply):
Narcissists have a powerful need for attention and validation, which overrides everything else.
They get this supply in two ways:
By being admired, praised, and validated.
By feeling powerful and in control, often by putting others down.
They might:
Ruin your laundry by leaving a pen in their pocket, just to mess with you.
Get fired from their job, cutting off family income, just to get attention.
Keep lying, even if you’ve warned them you’ll leave if it happens again.
3. They need to protect their image:
Narcissists care deeply about how others see them, so they’ll sabotage their relationships to maintain their image.
They might:
Put you down in public to look powerful.
Flirt with younger, attractive people to boost their own attractiveness.
Transfer money into their name to stay in control.
If their image includes being a victim, they’ll sabotage themselves to create more victim stories.
They might:
Post a picture while driving to make sure they’re not seen as a safe driver.
Be aggressive with their kids to ensure they only get supervised visits.
Spend all their money so they can claim to be broke.
But is it actually sabotage?
Or instead, is the narcissist getting exactly what they need?
While it appears that the narcissist has ruined their day, their financial security, their relationship with their kids, the narcissist has actually secured narcissistic supply. That’s their primary need.
The narcissist has gotten exactly what they wanted.
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Narcissists can undermine their own relationships in several ways, often due to their personality traits and behaviors. Here are some common patterns:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often struggle to empathize with others, which can lead to emotional neglect. They may dismiss their partner's feelings or needs, causing resentment and disconnection.
Manipulation and Control: They may use manipulation to maintain control over their partners, which can create an unhealthy dynamic. This includes gaslighting, where they make their partner doubt their own perceptions and feelings.
Entitlement and Expectations: Narcissists often feel entitled to special treatment and may have unrealistic expectations of their partners. This can lead to frustration and disappointment when their needs are not met.
Fear of Vulnerability: They may avoid vulnerability and intimacy, which are crucial for healthy relationships. This can result in superficial connections that lack depth and trust.
Inability to Handle Criticism: Narcissists can react defensively or aggressively to criticism, making it difficult for their partners to express concerns or feelings. This can stifle open communication.
Self-Centeredness: Their focus on their own needs and desires often leads to neglecting their partner's needs. Over time, this can erode the foundation of the relationship.
Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists may initially idealize their partners but can quickly shift to devaluing them once the initial excitement fades. This cycle can cause significant emotional harm.
Lack of Accountability: They often refuse to take responsibility for their actions or mistakes, which can lead to unresolved conflicts and a breakdown of trust.
Jealousy and Possessiveness: Narcissists may exhibit jealousy and possessiveness, leading to controlling behaviors that can suffocate their partners and create a toxic environment.
Inconsistent Behavior: Their behavior can be erratic, leading to confusion and instability in the relationship. This unpredictability can make it difficult for their partners to feel secure.
These behaviors can create a toxic cycle that ultimately leads to the deterioration of relationships, as partners may feel undervalued, manipulated, and emotionally drained.
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People with NPD, and especially coverts, will degrade and devalue the people closest to them. This has the effect of slowly pushing away the people that should mean the most to them.
Additionally they get bored, supply gets stale and they chase shiny new supply. This entails lots of lies and cheating, eventually unraveling their intimate relationships. Inevitably they will cycle through people as they use them up which just further validates the cycle until one day they end up alone or worse, under the control of a worse Narc than themselves. They live pitiable, miserable lives strewn with the wreckage of people they have hurt.
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Of course, let’s dive in.
Listen up! Narcissists are the architects of their own demise. But let’s break it down, real alpha style.
First off, you have to understand that a narcissist is always in the hunt for validation. They crave admiration like a lion craves the thrill of the chase. It’s all about ego-feeding. But here's the twist – they’ll never find satisfaction. It’s an endless pit. See, they need their partner to constantly boost their self-esteem, praise them, worship their every move. It becomes a dictatorship of incessant neediness.
Now, put yourself in the partner’s shoes. At first, it might feel like you’re dating a king or queen. The charm, the confidence – it’s addicting. Narcissists can make you feel like you’re the only person in the universe. But quickly, that charm turns into control. Their partner is forced into a role of servitude. Their dreams, ambitions, even opinions start getting overshadowed – nothing more than a shadow to the narcissist's spotlight.
Which brings me to the classic cycle. Boom! The narcissist will build you up just to tear you down. Gaslighting, manipulation, making their partners question their own reality and sanity. It’s psychological warfare. Slay your spirit right down the middle so you feel like you need them. They isolate you from family, friends, caging you in their own little kingdom of chaos. It’s their world and you're just living in it.
Eventually, the facade starts to crack. No matter how grand you think you are, people catch up. Their false self can’t hold up forever. The partner sees the truth – the insecurity, the fragility masked as grandiosity. Once that mask slips, respect is broken, trust goes out the window. It’s a house of cards collapsing inwards.
Here’s when things turn explosive. The narcissist can't handle being exposed, so they go on the offensive. Blame-shifting, calling out every fault in their partner to deflect from their own failures. Their partner, drained and depleted, either breaks away or is left as a hollow shell. The relationship becomes so toxic it implodes.
But here’s the kicker: it’s always a pattern. The narcissist never learns, never grows. They move to the next target, bringing the same hellfire and chaos. It’s all about the next high. No introspection, no growth. Ironically, for someone so obsessed with their own greatness, they never achieve true fulfillment, never savor the tranquility of a genuine, loving relationship.
At the end of the day, a narcissist is their own worst enemy. Their endless quest for validation becomes their undoing. Every relationship burned to ashes, every bridge scorched beyond recognition. They’ll never change because they refuse to look in the mirror and see the flaws staring back.
Want to avoid this chaos? Value humility, integrity, respect. Build real connections, based on mutual growth and support. That’s the real power, the real strength – something a narcissist will never grasp. Stay sharp. Stay strong.
That’s it. That’s the truth. Real talk.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-destroy-their-own-relationships
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What does a narcissist do when they can't control you?
When the narcissist can't control you anymore, certain things are going to happen in this dynamic. First of all, the narcissist is going to hate the fact that they can't control you. The narcissist hates this. Remember, they think that you belong to them, and also that the relationship is very transactional. You are their property, so they own you, and they believe they can do whatever they want with you.
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When a narcissist loses control over you, they start hating you and twist the truth to make you look like the villain in their story. This helps them justify their bad behavior like lying, cheating, and stealing, especially during a breakup. They’re just using you to release the anger they've held onto their whole life.
Winners and Losers.
To a narcissist, everyone is either a winner or a loser. If they can’t control you, they’ll try to make you feel unimportant. They start arguments over petty things just to prove they’re better than you. This is where they begin to devalue you.
Devaluation.
In a relationship, a narcissist uses you to feel good about themselves. They think they’re the "winner" if they control everything, while they see you as the "loser" if you’re kind or considerate. Your love and efforts are seen as weaknesses, making them feel like they can get away with anything. They’ll make you question yourself even when they get caught.
Don’t Engage.
Don’t let their hatred and twisted reality get to you. Giving their fantasy any attention only distracts you from focusing on yourself. I’ve been there—trying to prove myself to others because of the lies a narcissist spread. But that only wasted my time and energy. Instead, focus on getting back to being you.
Give Them Their Own Misery.
Instead of fighting against their lies and manipulation, spend your energy on reconnecting with yourself. Stop caring about their twisted story. Take back your power by not caring what they think or say about you.
Give to Yourself.
It’s time to be there for yourself, just like you’ve been there for others. You deserve it. Take control, focus on your goals, and leave the narcissist’s games behind.
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When they start feeling that way at that moment in time you already know they hate you, a lot. Pray they leave quickly and quietly. But they won't, they can't, and they are not, you are. Whatever it takes because the narcissist has to get even now.
The dirty narcissist will try to control the way people see you. You'll notice, hmmm, I haven't gotten a text message all day. Does anyone know I exist? People you normally speak to will pretend they don't see you and turn around. You will feel very insignificant. They go straight for the jugular. You might lose your job, you could also become homeless.
Effective immediately because you are an abuser. You will be getting a TPO. Count on it.Then they will be in control because you will be locked up in jail for some bullshit charge. And there is plenty more. That was a female narcissist , had it happen to me recently. I'm telling you, they will hate your guts. Just for control. Those sick waste of life, two timing, back stabbing turds.
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When a narcissist can't control you, they typically respond by flipping the situation around and making you the villain. They'll accuse you of using them, being crazy, or even being the narcissist in the relationship. This can be particularly confusing, especially if you start questioning yourself and worrying that you might be the problem. But the fact that you're concerned about this and willing to research it is a clear sign that you're not the narcissist.
When you stand up to them, they won’t understand or accept what you're saying because they believe the world revolves around them. To them, their outbursts of rage or prolonged silent treatment were completely justified.
They'll become furious that you reacted to their abuse, and in response, they may discard you. After that, they often embark on a smear campaign, spreading lies about you to anyone who will listen and twisting the truth to fit their narrative.
In the end, they'll look for one last way to make you suffer, whether it's financially harming you, lying to your family, or finding some other way to make you pay for their own deep-seated self-hatred.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-do-when-they-cant-control-you
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What is the saddest truth about being the victim of narcissistic abuse?
The fact that none of it was real. When you're in a “normal” relationship and it comes to an end, there are still things that you can hold onto. You still share good memories and experiences with the person.
You can still look back on it, good and bad, and be glad that you had the experience. You've grown with this person and they with you. You've changed each other and, generally, there is that mutual acknowledgment of this fact. Even if it ends badly, there is an acknowledgement of the other person.
Of their thoughts and feelings. It was real and even though it may have come to an end, for whatever reason, that will never change. You can still take some good from it.
With a narcissist it's completely different. When the discard occurs and the fog lifts, you begin to put the pieces together, the picture that is revealed to you is not an easy one to process. You have to face the reality that none of it was real. You were lured in, manipulated, abused, replaced and then discarded by a heartless predator who sought nothing more than to control you for their own gratification.
You find yourself going back over everything that happened in the relationship, both good and bad, and seeing it in an entirely different light. You realise that everything about the relationship revolved around them. Their wants and their needs. That you were alone this whole time. An indoctrinated slave to a mentally dysfunctional individual, who only ever pretended to love you to get what they needed.
There is literally nothing to hold onto. Nothing to take away from it, except the feelings of hurt, betrayal and misery. The good times become tainted as the true nature of them is revealed and the bad times take on a horrific new meaning. You are forced to face the fact that the person that you were in love with, the person who had spent all this time professing their own undying love for you, never even cared about you.
You thought them the love of your life. Your soul mate, but to them, you were nothing. They never had any interest in you. They never cared about you. They never even really saw you. All they saw was what you could do for them. They had as much emotional attachment to you, as we do to an appliance. A microwave or a vacuum cleaner. And when you stopped functioning the way that they wanted you to, they dropped you off at the dump and went shopping for a new appliance.
The beginning of my relationship was the happiest that I've been in over ten years. I soared higher than cloud nine. I thought I'd found my place. My meaning. The reason that it had never worked out with anyone else. It felt ment to be. That it was destiny. That we were destined to be together and she encouraged this thinking. Parreting back to me my emotional sentiments.
But that's all it ever was, mirroring. The person that I was in love with never even existed. They were a work of fiction. A fabrication, tailor made just for me. Tailor made with the sole purpose of locking me down so that my admiration, love and eventual pain could be extracted.
It's such a hard thing to come to terms with, if not near impossible. It completely changes the way that you look at the world and the people that you share it with. I had no idea that people like this even existed. I thought that the only people who had to worry about people pretending to be in love with them were celebrities and the rich.
I have often thought that it would have been easier if she had died rather than be revealed to be what she was. If she had passed away, the image of her in my mind would not have be so thoroughly obliterated. The memories that we shared would not have become tainted and the loving words that she had spoken to me would not have taken on the form of poison, poured into my ear.
At the end of a relationship with a narcissist there is nothing to hold onto. Nothing to take away except heartbreak, betrayal and pain. You're left in the shattered remnants of your life. Alone. With nothing to show for it, but wasted time, poisoned memories and a world view that has been warped beyond recognition.
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The loss of innocence. People can live a lifetime without ever having the experience of heartbreak, deep sadness, sudden betrayal, lack of empathy, fake love, and trauma associated with an attachment to a narcissist.
If it happens, it changes you forever. Many people try to put a positive spin on the change, saying it causes you to grow and love yourself more. I disagree. I have had a life full of cognitive and emotional growth. I never had a problem loving who I am, what I have accomplished, and how I treated others throughout my tenure here on planet earth.
I didn't want or need to experience falling in love with a narcissist to become a better person. I have instead regressed. It has shaken my view of humanity, and my faith in the same. I knew there was evil in the world. I just never knew it could be disguised as love.
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I think the saddest truth about being the victim of narcissistic abuse is realizing that while you have been trying to build a solid, loving and mutually respectful relationship with a narcissist, for all this time they have been trying to knock you out of your balance and bring you down to their level.
It is extremely difficult to comprehend why another human being would want to do such a thing to someone who tries to bring them to their best self. It seems childish, cruel and disruptive just for the sake of it. And that is truly sad.
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The saddest part is the inability to describe it, but a close second is the abrupt deletion of the principle of ‘what goes around, comes around’ from your life. In this situation, you do not reap what you sow, and fairness becomes a distant memory in a way that defies words.
Sure, some people have great verbal skills, but there is no way to aptly make another person completely understand the soul-crushing completeness of a situation like that, unless they have experienced it themselves.
There’s no other place in life where you do everything that you believe to be right, forgive like a saint, swallow unbelievable acts against your dignity, apologize for things you didn’t do wrong, and keep attempting to challenge the horrors of it all by being the best ‘you’ that you can be…and get nothing back for it but the absolute inverse of what such positive and selfless acts in life and between people ordinarily would.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-saddest-truth-about-being-the-victim-of-narcissistic-abuse
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What are some questions a narcissist can’t answer?
One question a narcissist can't answer is "Who are you?"
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Anything involving the truth and anything involving accountability.
They will gaslight you, lie and scapegoat someone else.
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These are 5 questions all narcissists can’t answer:
1. What makes you happy?
Narcissists hardly know what makes them happy, not to talk about defining happiness for another person. Hence, when you ask narcissists what makes them happy, you might hear a thing that concerns their ego and high self-esteem. But when it comes to what makes you, the questioner, happy, they are likely not to have good answers.
2. Why won't you admit you're wrong?
As we mentioned initially, a narcissist has a potent tendency to avoid responsibility and push blame on the people around them. It normally serves as their means of escaping responsibility and admitting their mistakes. Hence, when you point out situations where they push blame and ask why they are always doing that, they would likely leave or stay silent.
3. What's your definition of love?
Love, in the general language, is the drive towards love and hate, actions and reasons, and other things. Normal people have love within them and share that love with those around them. But for narcissists, their love is all for themselves. The irony of the situation is that to feel love is to share the love, and since narcissists' love is all about themselves, they feel that it's only the people they can manipulate who love them. Hence, they can't define love as a feeling that doesn't have to revolve around their ego.
4. Why do you care more about outsiders' thoughts than that of your lovers?
A narcissist is like an entrepreneur, always searching for new means to ground more money. But in a narcissist's case, they want to have more people in their arsenal to aid their manipulation and have people shift blames. Hence, if you ask them why they care more about what outsiders think about them than what you, as their lover, think or feel, they are likely not to give a full answer. The main aim is to have more people to manipulate, so they won't tell you.
5. What do you feel you need to adjust?
Life is about growth and adjustment to several things. It might be the manner of thoughts, the display of actions, or learning new things. It's all about changes and growth. But a narcissist is perfect; they don't see the need to adjust and change some things about themselves. So when you ask them what they feel they need to change about themselves, they are likely not to answer because they feel they are the best and there is no need to learn more or change for any reason.
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Any questions about themselves. About their past. Any kind of question like why do you love me. What about me makes you love me? They wont answer or will struggle to answer because there is no answer. They dont love you and never have. There with you to take there mind off themself. Your destruction, to them, is like any hobby, its just somethin to pass the time. That's how much they care about other people.
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If you mean questioning the behavior of a narcissist, anything that starts with “why.” Narcissists don’t like to realize what they do to other people, and asking them “why” makes them feel vulnerable because they have been caught with their pants down, so to speak.
Vague questions let them twist your words around so that you look like the guilty person. The more specific you are in asking the narcissist “why did you do [specific incident],” he has to focus his attention to himself and see his ugly behaviors. They just aren’t built to scrutinize themselves when they are made aware of their short-comings of being a decent human being.
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I may be wrong, but I have a few…
Who are you?
Who are you truly?
Do you realize you need help?
Do you truly love/ respect yourself?
What do you truly want in life?
If something where to happen to you, who would truly grieve or care?
Do you really think your social circle is real with you?
Are you being realistic with yourself?
Do you have any true love within your heart?
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Its more like what are the questions a narcissist WONT answer.
They are capable of answering any question you ask. They just dont like to so they dont.
Or, if they do, they are very vague or skirt around the question altogether.
They are not there to give out info, they are there to take info……..and anything else they can get from ya.
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1). Tell me about your past mistakes?
2). How did you contribute to your problems in your past failed relationships?
3). Tell me about three areas of weakness that you need to grow and improve in?
4). Tell me about an embarrassing moment in your life?
5). What does your wife/husband, children, friends, coworkers think about you?
6). Who is the person or people you would give credit to for where you are today?
7). What is the best advice you received from someone?
8). Who are your three closest friends?
9). Describe the top ten traits you like or admire in the most significant person in your life…
10). Tell me about a time you got triggered by someone? What was the deeper issue that caused you to have that reaction?
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A narcissist is like a parrot. They can remember what’s said before, or situations that lead to emotional reactions.
This means finding answers to questions related to what’s may happen in the future will be very difficult for a narcissist.
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A question my NPD ex couldn't answer:
Do you have any flaws?
I asked him this a couple of times, when he kept on telling me everything that was wrong with me that ought to be corrected. The closest to him answering was, in a very sweeping way: “Oh I have many flaws” - but the only example he could come up with was saying that he was very dominant. And this was in fact not a flaw to him but instead a proof of his (self proclaimed) superiority.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-dislike-being-questioned
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How does a narcissist react to being ignored by someone they're trying to provoke?
Not well.
Narcs love attention, even negative attention, so the provoking is an attempt to get that attention. If the attempt fails, the narc either has to slink off, defeated (not a usual narc thing) or try harder to get the desired attention, which means provoking even further.
But if the victim stands fast and continues to ignore, it is a brilliant tactic, because the narc has nowhere to go without getting so extreme he’ll look an idiot. So, great idea, keep ignoring. You will win eventually.Narcs damage people. Everyone normal should know about narcissism.
This is surprisingly easy, because they always act the same, all the time, and they do the same things to people over and over again. There is a narc pattern. So one good book will do it. My favourite book on narcissism is "Prepare to be Tortured- the price you will pay for dating a narcissist". AB Jamieson, Amazon. It covers all the layman needs to know about narcissism, and is written in a clear, concise, colloquial way.
It goes through the pattern, which is really helpful if you want to know what is ahead of you and how the whole thing will play out. It starts off with relationships but then moves on to chapters on narcs with money, narcs and control, narcs as friends and colleagues etc. It also has a list of traits- red flags, so you can identify them, and stay away from them.
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Watch tf out!
When narcissists attempt to provoke or elicit reactions from someone and that person ignores them instead, the narcissist often responds quite poorly. They typically react with anger, hostility, threats, and attempts to control or regain the psychological upper hand.
The reasons an ignored narcissist reacts this way stem from the inherent qualities of narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists have an overwhelming need for attention and validation which they expect others to provide, to bolster their inflated but fragile egos. They feel entitled to provoke and manipulate to get reactions.
Being deliberately ignored cuts off that much-needed supply of attention and emotional reactions. This sends the narcissist into a tailspin, making them feel enraged at the perceived rejection and extremely insecure about losing their perceived position of power and control.
In response, the provoked narcissist will likely retaliate through emotional abuse, gaslighting, verbal attacks, threats regarding the relationship, or by attempting to restrict and control the person ignoring them. They essentially pull out all the stops to force the desired reaction of attention from their target. For the narcissist, even provoking negative emotions is better than being ignored completely.
The underlying message they convey through an intense reaction is “How dare you ignore me!” Narcissists feel entitled to other’s attention, even if gaining it requires unhealthy behavior. And they lash out when denied. Essentially, an ignored narcissist reacts very poorly due to the blow it delivers to their disordered psyche.
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They're pissed.
Even if they seem decent on the outside, on the inside they are in a rage. They become wounded due to the fact that you are not providing the supply or fuel that they need, crave, and must have.
Now you must be punished, some how, some way. The honeymoon is over and now you will be constantly devalued while triangulated with a secondary source of supply. Given your true and honest nature and due to the realization that you have become aware that you are ensnared by a covert Narcissist, exposure is inevitable.
Huge narcissistic injury.
Unknown to you, you have likely been causing narcissistic injury, after narcissist injury which will inevitably result in your unexpected and severe punishment. You have now become a negative source of supply. You have awoken a fury in this Narcissist and your punishment is currently and covertly in the works and you have no idea.
Then one day, surprise! You're abusive, you're a cheater, drug addict, thief, alcoholic, pill popping, doctor shopping lazy bum that never does anything, plus your mean and hateful so nobody should like you. The victim of a smear campaign, harassment, untrue gossip, character assassination, and you are now discarded like trash. You are now left crushed, helpless, isolated, confused, heart broken, miserable, and slowly everything is taken from you via the double-bind tactic.
As a narc survivor once stated: "You were like a cup of fresh coffee. If you want it sweeter, you can put some sugar in there. But as time goes on, it becomes stale, depleted, consumed. Now that the coffee is consumed, all that's left is the empty cup, it's trash that is thrown into the bin".
That's how a narcissist views you. Like an object or appliance. A temporary luxury with an expiration date. Once you're drained, they are on to the bigger better deal ie. New Supply.
So you rebuild yourself slowly, heal yourself, and try to move on. Your light begins to shine again, you have revamped yourself and rebuilt yourself to some point although you still suffer cognitive dissonance, or two conflicting beliefs.
Now comes the Hoover. The Narcissist charms you back knowing they have your heart. Love bombing, devalue, discard, now you're left on the ground like a corpse that just had all the positive energy and life sucked out of you all over again.
Go no contact, delete them from your phone, move away if possible, disappear, take legal action if necessary and remove this toxic waste from your life forever and pursue a happy relationship with someone of like mind that won't abuse and manipulate you.
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The more you IGNORE the NPD the more the NPD will reach out to you. The more you chase the NPD the more the NPD will run. The more control you take back the more the NPD will want that control back. It's a battle of WILL's with them. They will possess your WILL. They get your will. They keep your will. They break your will. They destroy your will.
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Narcissists often react strongly to being ignored, especially if they are trying to provoke a reaction from someone. Here are some common responses:
Increased Aggression: They may become more aggressive or hostile, attempting to escalate the situation to regain attention.
Manipulation: Narcissists might resort to manipulation tactics, such as guilt-tripping or playing the victim, to elicit a response.
Attention-Seeking Behavior: They may engage in dramatic displays or seek attention from others to compensate for the perceived neglect.
Denial or Dismissal: Some may downplay the importance of the person ignoring them, claiming they don't care or that the other person is insignificant.
Outbursts of Anger: If their attempts to provoke fail, they may experience rage or frustration, as their need for validation is unmet.
Silent Treatment: Ironically, they might respond with their own version of the silent treatment, attempting to regain control by ignoring the other person in return.
Overall, a narcissist's reaction is typically driven by their need for validation and control, leading to a range of emotional and behavioral responses when they feel ignored.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-react-to-being-ignored-by-someone-theyre-trying-to-provoke
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Will narcissists leave their partner if they find
someone else?
Ron Culley
Narc abuse recipient in progress
1 day
Count on it, guaranteed. Everybody knows this. We read Quora!
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If the present partner has caught on to the lying and calls him/her on it then yes. Narcissist people need someone who falls for their every move. Who won't confront them about the lies. You start standing up for yourself, and I guarantee your Narc will leave you for another person.
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The narcissist leaves you for someone else because that person is shiny and new! The narcissist craves novelty. The narcissist needs stimulation from the thrill of the chase. Plus the narcissist is always shopping for new partners because they know that if their current partner were to learn the truth about them then they might be abandoned.
Ultimately, the narcissist is always ready to drop their partner for someone else who they perceive to be more capable of enhancing their own status. This means that the narcissist is constantly searching for another, better partner. As soon as they’ve got a new partner locked in they ditch the old partner.
Usually they either ghost that partner or they intentionally get caught cheating. Either way, it’s a huge mind-F for the person they left. The narcissist gets bored very quickly. This cycle repeats itself forever.
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SOMETIMES.
Depending on the situation.
Suppose they find the exact thing they want in the other person, they will leave.
These could be things like:
Money.
Status.
Social acceptance.
Housing.
Devotion.
You name it. Whatever they keep the company of their partner for.
If they find the equivalent of it in a new person, they won't hesitate to leave the partner, start treating them like a homeless stranger, ( OR MAKING THEM ONE ) and paint them as an obsessed psycho that's refusing to accept the relationship being over.
BUT...
...if they find someone else, which in 99% of the cases is inevitably going to happen, they feel that they need their partner still, to keep certain benefits,
The difference is then, the narcissist will stay in the partner's home to use it as a place to rest their weary head and unload their dismay and loathing on the partner, for feeling like the partner is keeping them hostage.
After which they can, fully rested and stress-free, continue on building their new and exiting relationship.
Yes, sometimes they leave.
And when they don't, they still do.
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Yes. If they think they can do better than you or “want to keep their options open” they will. Narcissists tend to think that they deserve the best of the best and if they don't think that's you, they will upgrade because they think they are entitled to perfection and will not settle for less. Hope this helps and stay strong!
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Narcissists commonly have a pool of victims, each of which meets their needs at any given moment. Narcissists have no boundaries and they never invest themselves in a "relationship".
There usually is no "one person" in the "life of a narcissist". Rather, there are people who believe they are in a relationship with a narcissist in which (again) the narcissist makes no emotional investment.
This is hard for any victim to understand. They think everything is fine and they believe they are "in" a "healthy" relationship. They are not.
All "leaving" appears to be is "the end" but in fact there is never closure with a narcissist.
So from the narcissist's perspective they are busy with someone and another victim thinks they have "left".
Narcissists don't leave, they just discard.
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Yes they always do as a matter of fact, they usually are already friends with them, flirting, talking, texting, meeting up behind your back many times throughout the relationship, then hit you with the discard
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Well truth be told they are Never ever exclusive EVER ! They have no morals ok they have several places ( people ) to go to to attain what they need .
They are big liars, they steal. they destroy .
They look for empathetic people with huge hearts that they can isolate minulaption and mentally mind f*ck.
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Yes!!! It's called supply… granted supply comes from everybody around the narcissist but if the mistress gives the narcissist more supply then his wife does then yes he will leave her.
My narcissistic ex husband divorced me for his married mistress and only told me 2 months after he filed for it over text message. When I tried talking to him and asked him what the hell is happening, he flat out refused to talk to me but he did blame me.
On my birthday he sent me another text message telling me to “get the felafel out of my house”, his mistress moved in the same day I moved out. All the while when I asked him if he was having an affair with this particular woman he told me… “Are you crazy, she is old and married”. It's always the ones they bad mouth that you can bet your whole life on that they cheating on you with.
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No. They will either be badmouthing you to the new person, or trying to somehow come between you, possibly try to get you back just to feed their ego, then become the same person you left or worse, or may even start trouble with this new person.
If you share kids, they will definitely try to alienate the kids from this new person. Nothing reasonable or responsible about the narc, and they will definitely not be happy for you when they are so miserable (even if they have someone new). The narcs I know are aggressive, possessive, over the top jealous, envious of your happiness, etc.
They will try to make you miserable somehow. Your new partner should be made aware of this sicko and their possible tricks. They will try all the tricks they know.
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Hell yeah they do, then they Hoover you back in, making you think that you're the only one. That they love you and have to have you in our lives and couldn't stop loving you if they tried. It's all bullshit. They always have someone on the side. Whether you're the primary source or you're the dirty little secret, there's ALWAYS someone else. They can't have this one person, you'll bore them. It's heartbreaking when you suspect it but just can't place it, but life-shattering when see it for yourself. But it's the norm for them.
https://www.quora.com/Will-narcissists-leave-their-partner-if-they-find-someone-else
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10/11/2016 6:06AM
Luka Luciano
Luka
fyi sherry has been talking shite about you saying your a freeloader living off her lazy bum drunk...she is spending night with kevin in vta says she made you sleep in her rv not in a relation ship any more planning to give you the boot. a conspiracy pretty low that is why i am writing hate cheaters liars backstabbers lame ass way to do things she made herself out as a victim not cool...
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What is it that narcissists don't want you to know?
THAT THEY’RE FRAUDS.
Complete phonies.
That they have no authentic self or sense of self.
That their entire existence is a show. An act.
A fake.
Who they show the world they are, is an amalgamation of numerous conquests and the personalities of lovers or people that they momentarily admire, and adopt as their own.
And that deep down, they know this.
And their greatest fear, is that becoming public knowledge.
If it were publicly exposed, the shame would be unbearable to them.
But, there’s no way in hell that they’d ever publicly admit that, willingly.
There isn’t a thing about them that is inherently genuine.
They’re a fraud.
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Well, they don't want you to know their true intentions, who they really are, what they are capable of, and what they have done in the past.
In other words, narcissists do not want you to see behind their facade, they want you to see only the facade and accept the facade as the real them.
They don't want you to know they are only in it for themselves, that they are takers and not givers. They try to come across as givers at the beginning, but that is part of their expert ploy to give a little at the beginning, but only take later once you are hooked on them… after they have transformed you into a narc-junkie, their junkie.
They don't want you to know that they do not care about you, have never cared, and have no ability to care in the future. They do not have access to attributes like emotional/ compassionate empathy - and so are handicapped in the area of giving a f*ck about others. Despite all that, the narcissist will do everything possible to make you think they care, to give them that much more leverage over you.
They don't want you to know that they are unable to generate good feelings from within, and so they are unable to radiate anything good from themselves because they have nothing good to offer. Anytime the narcissist is in a good mood, is looking happy, cheerful, they have stolen that good energy from someone else as supply, part of their take and take style relationships.
Narcissists do not want you to know that it is in your best interest to run from them, fast and far, as they are no good. They are seriously the Joker disguised as Prince Charming, and if you haven't noticed yet, you will soon find out.
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Narcissists don't want you to know their true intentions, who they really are, what they are capable of, and what they have done in the past. Narcissists do not want you to see behind their fake facade. They want you to only accept them, because of their fear of rejection and abandonment.
They don't want you to know they are only in it for themselves, and that they are takers and not givers. They don’t want you to that they will try to destroy every opportunity they get.
They won’t tell you that they know you’re strong, and noble which makes them weak and immoral.
They won't tell you that they need you far greater than you ever needing them.
They won’t tell you that your happiness reminds them of their inability to happy.
They won’t tell you that they have a great deal of self-hatred, and self-loathing.
They won’t tell you that they fear rejection, and hate being called out on their behavior or criticized for anything.
They won’t tell you that they live a double life with many different skeletons in their closets that will scare you like the boogie man.
They don't want you to know that they don’t care about you and have no ability to care about you, and for you. They do not have access to attributes like compassion, empathy - and only think about what they want or need from others.
Despite all that, the narcissist will do everything possible to manipulate you, to give them that much more leverage over you as a way to control you. They don't want you to know that they are unable to generate good feelings from within, because they have nothing good to offer except chaos, confusion, and emotional terror.
They don't want you to know that there is a significant and profound fear of abandonment residing at the core of their inner psyche. They deal with inner demons, and emotional torture.
Underneath the confidant exterior is a weak, vulnerable, and insecure individual who is empty, shallow, and afraid. Narcissists do not want you to know that it is in your best interest to run from them, as fast, and far away from them as you can.
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Narcissist don’t care if you discover things about them. They care if you tell others.
If you are going to expose them then they care and they will discard and destroy you.
But first they will try to confuse, spin the truth, minimize what you suspect, and lovebomb you back into compliance. If that doesn’t work they have to destroy you and all that you love so that you look crazy and so no one will believe you.
If you discover they are cheating on you that’s okay they have already told people it’s you that’s cheating. But if you have proof they are cheating then they care. And will destroy you.
If you discover they are stealing they will make you feel like it’s your fault and that if you had loved them you wouldn’t have forced them to do it this way.
If you discover that they are selfish and cruel but hide it behind a mask of deceit they will have to hurt you so bad that you doubt what you see cause they will do it with love and kindness
Nothing you know about them will be true. And they will make you think that you deserved to be deceived and destroyed for how you hurt them. Cause in reality you were nothing to them and their words fooled you but the words should have alerted you when their actions stopped matching.
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They are fully aware that they are evil within. But can never tell you that as that will automatically scare each victim away.
As long as you are useful to the narcissist, they will keep you around them. Manipulated in all creative ways. Once your fuel serves them no purpose, you're yesterday’s garbage.
Love has nothing to do with this relationship. Love means nothing to this inhuman being. Counting how many suicide victims they lead to is more important as that means they are super powerful.
Being able to take you from cloud 9 to six feet underground in a few minutes gives them a thrill. A unique kind of fuel.
Us crying, becoming angry, getting sick, we harm ourselves gives them pleasure. A unique kind of sickening pleasure.
Deep down they hate us. They cannot stand that we can laugh, smile and be generally happy just because we feel blessed. They have lost the child that once lived inside that body. We can still act like an innocent 5 year old with those we feel safe with. A narcissist has to act the part.
If disaster strikes your life, expect panic, raging and zero support from the narcissist. They will not hesitate to up and leave in the worst of the worst moments of tragedy.
And of course if a narcissist becomes a parent, then you will know what SCUM OF THE EARTH is all about. Simply because the WORST OF THE WORST KIND OF BEHAVIOR is how they behave with their own flesh and blood.
This is truth!
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/What-is-it-that-narcissists-dont-want-you-to-know
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Is there such a thing as a former narcissist?
You might see the term in an obituary, like:
Earl T. Dingleberry, 81, of Jizzcycle, MI, a formerly living narcissist and absent father who is survived by his three children, Buck, Freida, and Kitty, as well as his shell of her former self wife Deborah…
But while they are alive, once a narcissist, always a narcissist, kinda like how sober people in AA still refer to themselves as alcoholics.
Narcissists get worse with age.
Way worse.
I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage that it’s easier to fool someone than to convince someone that they’ve been fooled, and as such, people tend to double down on their misguided beliefs as a way to avoid coming to terms with that. Well, the same idea applies to people who have been kidding themselves all their lives.
If a person refuses to take any accountability whatsoever for their actions at age 40, why on Earth would anyone think they’d start at age 81, when by that point they’ve accumulated twice as many things to be ashamed of?
They wouldn’t, and they don’t.
They die as narcissistic as they’d lived.
And with their passing, they leave in their wake a dysfunctional family full of generational trauma.
Poor Deborah will be lost, having no idea how to reconcile her learned helplessness that her husband instilled in her, and will live out her final days full of mostly regret. Not knowing what to do with herself without having someone’s abusive behavior to enable, she may adopt a cat who is really mean to everyone but her to fill the void. She may also start cutting or engaging in risky anonymous sex, but at age 79, she’ll probably just go the mean cat route.
Buck will carry the torch for Earl and narcissistically abuse his own wife and children, ensuring that the Dingleberry name is synonymous with dysfunction.
Freida, a lesbian schizoid and prescription painkiller addict, is too afraid and ashamed to seek human companionship, so she is content barely leaving the safety of her home, and occasionally scissors the giant, life-size Minnie Mouse stuffed animal she ordered from Amazon.
And Kitty, poor Kitty, already with 5 kids of her own to a narcissist who gets off on humiliating her, will eventually divorce him for a sociopath who will molest two of her kids, and beat her to death.
You see? Narcissism is a never-ending cycle of trauma that is passed down to each generation. If you don’t end up a narcissist and pass down the trauma yourself, then you either couple up with a narcissist who will, or you end up with some other form of dysfunction that will ensure your eventual demise.
Nothing stops that freight train.
You either get on, or you’re dragged on, and then tossed off while it’s moving full speed.
Former narcissist? Please.
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They are embarrassing. They finally realized that normal people actually smile even if there is no other reason than being friendly to a taxi driver. So, these narcs realize how likeable truly kind people are and they start walking around with this pathetic constant fake smile on their face.
Bit like the grumpy rabbit who has no friends in a children‘s Book I used to read to my kids: the grumpy rabbit would go to his neighbor (the hedgehog) put a carrot under the hedgehog‘s nose and say: here‘s a carrot, now be my friend‘!
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No, but there are self-aware narcissists who have a handle on their condition, understand narcissism’s impact on others, and are willing to work towards improving their lives and the lives of those around them.
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NO! Unless he/she only has traits of narcissism and not the full Personality Disorder. The person must be willing to go to therapy and can handle the vulnerability of being open and explore why he or she is acting narcissistic.
People with true Narcissistic Personality Disorder are so full of shame and damaged from childhood that they cannot go there in therapy. It is way too painful and shameful to relive their childhood pain. They were five to eight years old when their parents abandoned or smothered them.
That’s why they act like that! They will leave therapy when it gets deep and emotional. Or blame others for their actions. It’s a very sad and incurable Disorder. Therapists/ Drs really don’t encounter too many Narcs because they run before they can help them. So we have to deal with their horrible abuse! Ughhh
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Dr. Sam Vaknin is an accomplished writer who also has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Other esteemed and/or high functioning people have come forward as having these traits. They don’t appear to have changed their personalities completely. Rather, they seem to have an awareness of the condition that they have channeled into more positive aspects.
It’s highly unusual for anyone to initiate and undertake this level of introspection and self assessment, never mind someone with a personality disorder. After all, a shark doesn’t question why he’s a shark. At this level, they may have taken the test out of curiosity, or because they feel that something is fundamentally wrong or missing.
Like most people, those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are quite fine with who they are, thank you very much. It’s the rest of the world who has a problem, because they are gullible and stupid.
Most “recovering” NDP’s are doing so because they are in trouble. The point being that they did not initiate the change themselves. They can say that they went to anger management, AA, and the psychiatrist to appease others, often with considerable noise and resentment, but they don’t change. They will use this as a tool to wear down the skepticism of spouses, employers, and others by proclaiming “Hey! I’ve changed!” followed closely by entitlement.
A shark will always be a shark. It was born to be a predator. With self awareness, it is possible to redirect the more positive aspects into something constructive. Vaknin writes extensively on the topic including first hand experience, educating others. Other self aware NPD’s may temper themselves; this is more likely to occur into maturity. However it is prudent to be skeptical. Time will tell.
https://thenarcissisticlife.quora.com/Is-there-such-a-thing-as-a-former-narcissist
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What is the typical day like with a narcissist?
Early in the “relationship”, they are attentive and can be fun.
As time goes on, and they know/think they’ve got you…they begin to diminish you. Not only will they be snide and sneering much of the time. MOST of the time, they simply ignore you. They will ogle others, compare you to others, and treat you with less and less consideration.
So it can take a few months or some years to get the full gist of who/what they are. BUT ultimately you become non-existent to them, while they are out collecting more supply. so I agree w/those who say it is “lonely”. But it is worse than that - bc they led you to believe, so see, that it could be so much more - b/c you are ‘in a relationship’ all by yourself. There is a deeper emptiness and sadness, than just feeling lonely.
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In a word? Lonely.
At least this was the way I experienced it. You wake up with another person in the house and go about your morning ritual of showering, clothing yourself, and having the first cup of coffee. Although you’re not alone, technically speaking, you feel alone. Because there is no true emotional intimacy, you are your sole caretaker. One must be fiercely and ridiculously independent and self-reliant. Or alternately: malleable and extremely dim.
Conversation floats at the surface. That is safe. As an introvert with a hefty disdain for parlor talk, it was often painful to engage. But you have learned rather quickly that taking communication to unplumbed depths leads to quizzical glances and what feels like contempt. Whatever plagues you—problems at work, problems with an ailing parent, problems with your health—is not to be brought to the table and discussed. You cannot be perceived as remotely problematic.
Communication is really challenging. Scratch that, there is no communication; you’re talking at each other. When talking with a narcissist, you must say what they want to hear. You figure this out via trial and error. So there’s no spontaneity, because you have to be one step ahead of them, always contemplating how to respond in a way that makes them feel validated.
It’s a lot like playing chess, because you have to anticipate what they’ll say next, and how you’ll respond to that and so on. Pointing out that what they said was hurtful, astonishing, or outre or offering constructive feedback is not a good idea, as in ever.
You already know that you’re going to do what they want to do. They set the agenda. “Today, let’s do something that you enjoy” isn’t in a narcissist’s lexicon. If you’re highly flexible, your interests catholic, and you don’t have to have things your way never-ever, this might not pose a huge inconvenience.
But it is something that you have noticed over time: everything revolves around their likes and dislikes. They pick the restaurant. Even if you like the restaurant and would have picked the same one, the niggling problem is … they got to choose it, not you. They choose where you go and what you do together.
You know those folks who take their dogs everywhere? That’s what you feel like—a devoted pet, carted around just for company. Not a human being with complex thoughts and feelings.
Okay, to be fair: every now and then, you do get to choose the joint activity. When this happens, you approach it with a strong dose of skepticism; what does your partner want—? Something, that’s for sure. Or maybe not … are they secretly resentful, making mental hash marks to use against you later? The answer to this is: yes, they are.
For me, the typical day usually involved a temporary escape—going out for a “walk” or running errands so I could meet a friend. Sometimes I’d drive my car around the block, park it, and make phone calls. This was particularly true when I was going through a challenging time and needed a trustworthy sounding board.
But, I also needed to connect with someone with whom I could just be myself and not who my now-ex wanted me to be. Some call this “walking on eggshells”. It went deeper than that for me, as I found myself quashing my innate personality and aping the room-temperature/milquetoast persona that he found appealing: reserved, without strong opinions, and emotionally contained—but at the same time pleasant.
So incredibly f**king pleasant, like one of those creepy robotic dolls that blinks and talks in a Siri voice. A construct. Oh, and also pretty. That was the only way I’d get a compliment.
You wake up and put on your poker face. You cannot display any weakness, vulnerability, imperfections, or physical discomfort. You cannot express negative feelings or say anything that could remotely be construed as criticism. Believe me, someone with NPD can find hidden meaning in the most innocent remarks (hence the need for parlor talk). You can’t be yourself. You are like Star Trek’s Enterprise entering Klingon space: shields are up.
Each very mundane but highly-structured day, you wonder if this is going to be the day you finally crack.
That’s what makes the typical day with a narcissist really lonely.
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No day is typical, they all run a blur.
But this hasn't always been the case.
I used to smile, he used to love me. I was his everything as he was mine. We were the couple that everyone wanted to be. We were that love song that made your heart skip a beat. He was my forever. Was.
Now twelve years later at the age of forty-seven the fog is lifting and this is how ‘ my ‘ typical day goes;
I wake up in my bedroom at the far end of the house and rush to the bathroom to wet my face and pray that my eyes aren't as swollen as they feel. They are. I cry so much these days that swollen is really the new norm for me.
I hurry up back to my room because I know he'll be stopping in to say goodbye and he loves me before leaving. I don't want to appear anxious or sleep deprived from crying all night yet again .
As he leaves for the day he says ‘ I'll call you this afternoon ‘ , maybe we can go have a beer? Ok maybe I say, just give me a call. He leaves, everything is perfect. In his eyes anyways. It's all I can do now to keep my composure long enough for him to get out of the driveway before I fall apart again. He leaves, I crumble.
The phone rings sometimes later it's a friend or my mom or somebody so I quickly regain my composure ( or so I think) and cheerfully answer the phone and go into ‘ old me ‘ mode . Happy go lucky, life is grand kinda thing. I don't fake emotions well at all so ‘ my ‘ act is just that an act.
You see, this man, my love , my forever has just this year been unmasked for the narcissist that he is. So my days are tougher now then they have been for the past several years. For the past several years I've hated him and his self absorbed, self centered , egotistical all about me self. And was ok with that, because I was giving what he gave. Or so I convinced myself.
I mean who really says they love you and yet stays in a separate room at the other end of the house for six years? Won't have sex with you because you ‘ me ‘ are giving it freely to everyone who has one in their pants, and even some that wear the same type pants I do. All the while he sits in his favorite bar eight hours out of every day.
I of course work daily and then come home to tend to my daughter and all the animals we have, cook dinner and wait. Wait to see who is coming home tonight. Jekyll or Hide. Either one it doesn't really matter because they both create anxiety upon walking in the door.
So now, after twelve years of complete confusion, smothered in lavish gifts , continuous denial , all the ‘ what the hell ‘ days and nights ,eggshell walking and the constant defending of my character I find myself broken. Broken for what? The fact that I was to blind to see? Broken because I didn't leave years ago, or broken because of the reality of who and what he really is ?
Or broken because my heart is so big and the reality and knowing that what once was so amazing and my dream come true never actually existed. That what I experienced was possibly not even real. Broken doesn't even come close to what a day in my life with my narcissist is like. It's a torture unlike the other phases of hell.
Almost like a scripted book my story is that of everyone else who has awakened to the fact that they are in a love with a narcissist, a character who doesn't even exist. Or do they? Was none of it even real?
Surly it was. You can't fake a love like ours . Or can you? Was I sleep walking for twelve years? No , no he did all of those hateful hurtful things to me because he loves me. Why am I thinking like this, I'm the only one he's ever loved. I am his true love. His forever.
Until.. the fog started lifting. Until I started testing him. Until he couldn't even give me a generic definition of what loving me ( or anyone for that matter) felt like. He was for the first time ever speechless. Confused, and drawing blanks for everything I was throwing his way. And I was throwing simple easily answered basic fifth grade stuff.
Then my eyes started to open to what they refused to see for so many years. I was a stranger to his heart. His words said that I was his everything, his soul mate, his forever love. His eyes said nothing. How had I never seen his eyes? How had I missed so much. He was now a complete stranger . How did this happen? I need to see a doctor, this isn't really happening.
So my answer to what is a typical day with a narcissist like is this: it is the most gut wrenching agonizing pain ever . It makes the devaluation stage look like a walk in the park . My reality is that of a fairy tale, because of course fairy tales aren't real. As my past twelve years haven't been either.
This is the how my days are now that my narcissist has been unmasked. I wish this on no one. it literally has shaken me to the core and has me questioning my own sense of reality, I mean who was really living in a self made fantasy land? Him or me. How did I not see?
Today I read my exact story over and over again only in someone else's words. It's scary to see it play out so vividly, and not just be someone else's story. It's mine. And mine is like all the others, heartbreaking. Surely I will wake up and this nightmare will be just that. A nightmare.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-is-the-typical-day-like-with-a-narcissist
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What are narcissists
discarding behaviors?
It’s cruel and it happens suddenly, it goes from 20–30 text a day to “why do I have to text you every day?
They have someone else suddenly in their lives, either a new source or an old one. They will make sure you know this person is around, by posting pics of them on social media or sending you a text of a pic with them. This is all part of the game. If you ask them about it they will deny it, they will turn it against you by making it sound as if you were being possessive or jealous.
They get distant quickly and make excuses to not show up at something the two of you planned for weeks. If you ask what’s going on they will say, “nothing what are you talking about?” If you mention that they changed they will say,”nothing has changed”. They will try to give you just enough attention to keep you hanging on. After all someday, you may be needed as a source again.
You will be confused, wondering, “am I being possessive?”, “am I imagining something is wrong”. You know in your heart something is not right, but he/she has convinced you it’s all in your head (gaslighting).
Suddenly, cruelly, they are gone and you’re left wondering what happened, doubting yourself. In reality they were not getting the fuel out of you they once did and see the new/old person as better fuel, for now.
Remember to a narc you are an object for their use, once they are bored of you they go to a new source or one they used in the past. But like a bad cold they will come back.
Please my friend, don’t fall for it. They did this once to you and they will do it again and again. If you want to get rid of them, call them out, then go NO CONTACT!!! Nada nothing.
Trust me they will destroy you if you let them.
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Narcissistic discarding behaviors refer to the actions a narcissist may take when they decide to end a relationship or emotionally detach from someone. These behaviors can be hurtful and confusing for the person on the receiving end. Here are some common discarding behaviors exhibited by narcissists:
Sudden Withdrawal: Narcissists may abruptly cut off contact without explanation, leaving the other person feeling abandoned and confused.
Devaluation: Before discarding someone, a narcissist often engages in devaluation, where they criticize, belittle, or undermine the other person’s self-worth, making it easier to justify the discard.
Silent Treatment: They may employ the silent treatment as a form of punishment, ignoring the other person to exert control and manipulate emotions.
Blame Shifting: Narcissists might blame the other person for the issues in the relationship, refusing to take responsibility for their own actions.
Gaslighting: They may distort reality or deny events to make the other person doubt their perceptions and feelings, further destabilizing them before the discard.
Reinforcing Their Superiority: Narcissists often remind their partners of their perceived flaws or inadequacies, reinforcing the idea that they are unworthy of love or respect.
Hoovering: After discarding someone, a narcissist might attempt to re-establish contact (hoovering) to draw the person back into the relationship, often using charm or manipulation.
Replacement: Narcissists frequently move on quickly to a new partner, sometimes while still in the process of discarding the previous one, demonstrating a lack of empathy.
Public Disparagement: They may disparage the discarded person publicly or share private information to damage the other person’s reputation.
Emotional Coldness: A marked lack of empathy or emotional support during the discard phase can leave the other person feeling isolated and invalidated and abandoned.
Understanding these behaviors can help individuals recognize the dynamics of their relationships with narcissists and protect themselves from further emotional harm.
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They’ll ignore you or be very dismissive when you talk to them about a certain topic. Or even any topic. You’ll feel as if you are walking on egg shells and you are afraid to crack or break one of them as you “Walk” extremely cautiously through them like land mines.
Now these are not actual land mines or egg shells these are emotionally abusive behaviours from the narcissists part towards you. Making you feel very afraid to say something that might set them off into a rage or anger. Not a very pleasant way to interact with anyone.
They might try to embarrass you in front of others they wish to impress. But when and if they Discard you You Rejoice greatly for being Emancipated from an abusive and controlling relationship that is very toxic in the long run for you. Rejoice that you are FREE. I know you will be confused since you are Human and you feel an emotional attachment to your abuser.
That is what is called The Stockholm Syndrome.I hope you read about it and get yourself informed and fast. I’m not an expert yet…But I suggest you read and learn more from others who will know more than me. But beware of those who will answer your questions with the driving force of rage and anger and hatred towards the narcissists.
Uncontrolled rage and hatred will do nothing to help you sort out the toxic behaviours of narcissists who themselves are mentally ill. If you read a answer that seems to only fuel your rage and tries to “make drama and rage” I would suggest you don’t bother to read.If it is not fueled by Scientific logic and proper reasoning it Will Not Help you.
It ‘s like in a class room when a child throws a piece of paper to another and the class instigates the child by saying OHHHHHH!!! So the child is compelled by their own ego to react with violence and vengeance. Not helpful for anyone.
Peace and remember…Use you intelligence instead of your emotions. Emotions will help you detect what is negative. But it will not be useful for proceeding properly with the proper actions to take while being driven with rage. Peace to you.
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Distance from anything and everything that you are interested in/working on, or into, despite a previous “interest” in the subject, regardless of whether or not there’s a mutual benefit to the relationship, or even themselves.
Emotionally distant, this is really the norm anyway but less volatile, more aloof. I found more use of online games, more than usual. They’re minds are not wanting any of your essence entering they’re shutting you out.
Of course, that’s unless they’re triggered then expect an amplified more contemptuous version of their ego fortifications, but this time they’ve reinforced the army of the deluded.
Bigger hand grenades are thrown into conversations with a sole intent to hurt, More accurate snipers shoot to kill…
“It’s done you sh!t, I’m running away now. You now know me and I see no use for you because I completely understand how I’ve manipulated you and used you and now I’m in danger of facing up to myself and that ain’t ever happening regardless of what, if I could be aware, it is that I’m actually running from…Here you go, I’m me now so expect regular betrayal, total disrespect and all defences primed…I really need my secondary sources now, so I’ve ramped up my smearing of you to my work colleagues and friends while assassinating your character with my family whom you’ve known for 18 years and have never done anything to wrong any of them in that time, now they’re all thinking your on the verge of a breakdown. Except I know that to be completely untrue but I don’t like to see you’re dealing with my deceit in a positive manner, your seriously weak how happy you are is just disgusting, how can anyone reject me. Please play my games again”.
It’s so crazy, almost too surreal to contemplate.
So easy to rectify, such an obvious way to improve things, these are preventing you giving your unconditional love and the relationship growing. But their inability to genuinely compromise and their perception of themselves being even slightly at fault and not accepting responsibility for anything, infuriatingly hamper the narcs ability to offer any meaningful resolution or closure whatsoever.
Awareness was my salvation, understanding that the controlling behaviour was becoming easier to predict and the steering of any dialogue between us, by her was absolutely as expected, continual manipulation. If you ask yourself “What’s in it for me?” before any input from them you gain insight into their true intentions, regardless of what it is they want.
My discard ends in 2 days, she’s moving out, I’ve been healing for the last 3 months, since the fog began to lift. When you see their true self in it’s most self absorbed glory that’s when you know you’re done, blatantly displaying all of their muddled thinking, full blown, unadulterated narc mode… blaming you for ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!
An experience so un imaginable that’s it’s actually happening to you, completely born of the dark.
They’re attracted to light and work to gradually snuff it out but we can find our light again and burn brighter because of the knowledge we’ve attained. The truth is constant, the narcs never are.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-narcissists-discarding-behaviors
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How The Narcissist Gets Away
With Abusing People And Come Off As A Good Person
I think you’ve been there before. You learned everything about the narcissist, you know who the narcissist is, but the thing with narcissists is they have “lucky charms” that work for them and carry their dirty laundry while making sure no one sees that the king is naked. So, it is very hard to live in a world that seems to be created to breed and serve these cheaters and manipulators.
These chameleons have multiple faces that they proudly display to others and each face is more deceitful than the previous. They can talk and engage with any social group and be liked by everyone. However, there is a catch – they usually have one target they have in mind and that is a person who has qualities of compassion, integrity, and empathy. Why? Because the narcissist envies anyone who is better than them and in their mind, they become a threat that needs to be eliminated. The narcissist feels they must dim their light fast.
Sadly, the target will become enlightened to the true self of the narcissist, they will see behind their mask but they will not be able to do anything because they are so deep in the connection with them. This form of abuse happens in all kinds of relationships from romantic and family to work ones. It takes place in any situation where the narcissist is able to abuse and manipulate another human being.
So, how the narcissist is able to get away with all the manipulation and still be seen as a good person?
The narcissists are very skillful at managing the ways how other people see them. They can praise their ‘victims’ when they are with them in public, but demean them and criticize them behind closed doors. The narcissist has the ability to provoke others into reacting emotionally which will make them look unstable. That’s how the narcissist covertly abuses their victims – by making them look like they are the abusers and not the victims.
Whenever they get in contact with someone new, the narcissist is immediately labeling them as someone who may be useful to them and a threat or if not, they don’t bother with them. Those people who get labeled as a threat whether because of their education, talents, success, competence, or other qualities that are important to the narcissist, will first get praised and adored by the narcissist before getting utterly devalued and discarded.
The narcissist will build a mighty pedestal for their victim in order to stage their destruction. They will first idealize their victim, but they will later keep them off-balance by not letting them know where they stand in the narcissist’s life. That’s how the narcissist inflicts pain and doubt into their heart. Therefore, the chosen victim will get devalued and idealized at the same time together with the other victims of the narcissist until getting kicked off from the pedestal for calling the narcissist out on their sh!t.
In the narcissist’s labyrinth of manipulation, mind-games, and lies the only winner is the narcissist and the victims who are actually able to leave the narcissist and move on with their life.
Moreover, narcissists have something in them that makes people trust them. Whether it is their handsome appearance, their charm, their intellect, or something else, there is just something in them that is mesmerizing to others. This is called a “halo effect” in psychology which is a tendency for people to take one good trait (for instance: “They are so charming”) and then attribute it to the rest of their personality (They must be a smart and good person too!).
And because the narcissist spends their whole life designing a very alluring but false image about themselves, in front of other people they appear to be very caring, warm, and kind. They drive people in with their false trustworthiness and supposed but nonexistent integrity. They carefully choose their victims to be ones who have not yet seen their true self or are willing to disregard all the red flags.
If, however, the narcissist feels they are in trouble of being exposed, they will defend themselves claiming the victims are the problem because they want to cause problems without a reason.
And the reason why we are not equipped to deal with these manipulators is that when someone treats us badly and abuses us in some way, we tend to project our own sense of empathy and morality towards them and convince ourselves that deep inside they are a good person.
That’s why it is so important to validate our inner voices and speak up. If you are a survivor as well, then we should all raise our voices and spread awareness to confront these abusers. That’s how revolutions begin.
We are all in this together and we can stop this madness.
https://thedarkworldofnarcissistbysevinc.quora.com/How-The-Narcissist-Gets-Away-With-Abusing-People-And-Come-Off-As-A-Good-Person
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What is a typical narcissist behavior?
They lie.
They blame others for everything that is wrong
They cheat. Every chance they get with anyone as long as that person gives what is needed.
They purposely create confusion.
They deny everything.
They tear others down and belittle them.
They retaliate in violence.
They have excessive need for admiration.
They lack empathy.
They’re arrogant.
They think they are superior.
They’re intolerant of criticism.
They think no one can resist their attractiveness.
They think they are entitled.
They envy others.
They struggle with leadership at work.
They’re full or rage and anger.
They insult others with no shame.
They have highly addictive personalities.
They’re impulsive and act most times without thinking or feeling.
They often have many difficult relationships and make others believe they are not to blame.
They’re usually preoccupied with a fantasy about who they are. Such as a race car driver, an actor or whatever they have a need to be like.
They lovebomb and once you’re hooked they criticize you.
They Hoover or stalk you because they think they own you.
They play the silent games. They pretend they didn’t get a message or text or they ignore you on purpose. This is a control tactic.
They need constant approval.
Intolerance with imperfections in others.
Preoccupation with outward appearance, beauty, wealth, fame, success over morals, virtue or even integrity.
Poor emotional regulation, aggressive impulses, psychologically fragile.
Vain, self-righteous and prideful.
Lack remorse, compassion, empathy for others.
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Narcissists are primarily selfish; although they may do their best to hide it, from the narcissist you can expect self-involved, short-sighted and generally vainglorious behaviour.
Narcissists love pleasure and despise pain — wherever possible they hurt others to soothe their own injuries.
Some narcissists are very tough, and so act out their selfish fantasies in public, whereas others are more sensitive, and need lay traps and snares to catch their secretive but vigorous prey.
The worst are those in the middle.
Those tough enough to defy society, break and bend its laws, but still sensitive enough to understand the ache of the human heart:
Too cold to feel your cries but just warm enough to know how much they meant.
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In my experience the typical behaviors in narcissists are as follows:
They always wear a mask so others won’t see their true selves.
They only care about themselves.
They try to control their SO by gaslighting and other ways to make their SO feel crazy.
They smear their SO's name.
The narc will try to isolate their SO from family and friends.
They talk trash about their SO's friends and don’t like their SO to have any friends.
Narcs get jealous when others make you happy.
Narcs criticize others physical appearance.
Narcs use the silent treatment to punish you for whatever they believe that you did to them.
They judge others very harshly…
Narcs enjoy chaos.
Narcs lie and make up stories to gaslight you, so then you question your own reality.
They are all verbally abusive to their SO to control them.
They are all victims.
The narc will viciously gossip about about anyone that crosses them…even if it’s their fault.
Narcs will leave and stay gone for hours, days, and come back when they feel like they have punished you enough…
Narcs hate being wrong.
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There are several signs in a relationship that you are dealing with a toxic individual who has one of the Dark Triad of disorders. First, they often do not have a capacity for empathy.
They do not have the ability to authentically understand the world of another person except as it can be manipulated for their own gain. However, they can put on a good “caring” act to manipulate others for their own benefit, particularly if they fall under the heading of covert narcissist.
A covert narcissist can maintain the appearance of being a caring, loving person, and hide their qualities of anger, aggressiveness, and envy from the outside world and from their intimate partners, at least for a while.
Second, they don’t feel sorry about any wrongdoing and dislike apologizing. There is little evidence of a conscience, compassion, remorse, guilt, or concern about the impact of their behavior on others, particularly those they love.
They may act apologetic or put on a show of compassion, but it is just to mask their real feelings. Some can be incredibly good actors, fooling even the most intelligent person, judges, or therapists. From the toxic person’s point of view, the person they harmed deserved what they got because the toxic person believes they are always right. In fact, they feel entitled to act in their own self-interest, even when others suffer.
Third, they believe they have rights that others would never assume they had. They live in a world in which they have privileges that others don’t. Whether they are objectifying you, cheating on you, or trying to control you, they believe that they deserve what they seek, including when and where they seek it because it is already theirs.
They will tell you whatever they believe you need to hear in order to get what they want from you. To these people, a lie is not a lie; it’s a mechanism to control the desired outcome. Misrepresentation of information or twisting facts are tools they employ to intimidate others into compliance.
They are chameleons who project a façade that is totally different from who and what they really are. Always in disguise, they can be a doctor, priest, or politician, but if they have NPD they are not the person you think they are. These damaged souls tend to study others, such as empaths and giving people, to see how they act and what they say, and mimic them.
There is often nothing behind their words, which are little more than empty promises. They project sincerity, mimicking what others do and say, raising optimism and unfounded hope in family and friends.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-typical-narcissist-behavior?no_redirect=1
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What should I do to give up on a narcissist?
FOR ONE, YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN THE NARCISSIST.
Then, you have to accept the reality of the situation.
Then, you make the conscious decision to give up.
If you look at it logically, no one can truly love a narcissist.
You loved someone who has been treacherously manipulating you, with malice aforethought.
Not one minute or nanosecond with this person was authentic or genuine on their part. You simply got fooled.
And, you have to love yourself more than an abuser.
You have to accept this simple fact. That, you were caught up in an act.
It’s happened to many of us. Deceived people do not know they are deceived.
Hence the word, deception.
And, that’s not on you, that’s on them.
You accept that you were deceived, and that nothing you do or don’t do will ever change this person’s treacherous behavior toward you.
Then, you give up.
Abandon all hope.
Hope that they can or will change. They can’t, and won’t.
Hope that they love you, they don’t.
Hope that you can help them, you can’t.
Hope that there is anything of value to cling to, there isn’t.
And with all of that in mind, that should give you a good start to giving up.
You accept what is. That you are wasting your time on someone who is the biggest waste of time, maybe ever.
At the end of the day, it’s actually quite simple.
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You let go when you’ve had enough of being used, abused, manipulated, confused, hurt, played, disrespected, devalued, and treated like a doormat.
You let go when you know that enough is enough.
You begin letting go when you feel like you’re the only one in the relationship.
You begin letting go the moment that you’re aware that the narcissist is playing mind games with you and enjoys doing so.
You begin letting go when you begin to hear or see red flags. You let go when your energy and peace is purposely being destroyed by this toxic individual.
You begin letting go when you realize that you were nothing more than a toy, bank, sex worker, cook, ATM, maid, therapist, a garbage disposal, a free rental space, punching bag, and the list goes on. You get the point.
You begin to let go when you realized that the relationship or partnership is not about you and will never be.
You begin to let go when you realize that no matter how much you give, it will never be reciprocated to you or for you.
You begin letting go when you realize that you have been lied to, cheated on, used, manipulated, and gaslighted.
You begin letting go when you’re aware that you are not the only one in the relationship due to their unfaithfulness.
You begin letting go when you finally realize that your opinion, feelings, decisions, and desires do not matter.
You begin letting go when you realize that it all was a lie to begin with. You begin letting go once you realize that dealing with this person is a losing battle that can literally leave you with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
You begin letting go when you feel that you no longer matter. You let go when there is verbal abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, psychological, emotional abuse, and or any form of abuse.
You let go when your emotional and mental health is being compromised. May you now know the signs, may you no longer be a victim of narcissistic abuse, and may you bravely unapologetically let go!
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LEAVE.
Don’t say goodbye. Don’t write a letter. Don’t give any information of your whereabouts. Don’t look back. Change your phone number. As a matter of fact just get a new phone because they have probably spied on you or are monitoring your calls/texts without you knowing it. Block him. Don’t look back. Join a support group specifically a 12 step program.
Don’t look back.
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This is my advice:
Research enough to convince yourself that a narcissist can and WILL destroy your life in a very covert manner. This is the first step.
Kick in your logic. Throw all emotions in the bin for the time being. You must tackle this with a 100% alert mind. The minute your hearts starts missing this person, stop that behavior immediately. Whatever you felt for this person was real. Whatever the narcissist felt for you was just Hollywood acting. Sorry but have enough experience with them to know what they do.
Do the no contact as abruptly as possible. Do not give in to discussions. YOU WILL BE MANIPULATED. I can guarantee you that any narcissist will manipulate any well meaning human being.
List down all the abusive episodes. All the details must be listed and you need to read this full list a million times a day if necessary. Within a few short weeks, even you yourself will see that the huge fog you feel today, will start lifting.
Ask God for help if you feel weak.
You are dealing with an immense power to destroy. Show the whole wide world that when things get tough, you are made of much tougher stuff.
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Think about benefits of ending relationship with narcissist:
You get rid of projection, blaming, shaming, stonewalling, silent treatment, ghosting and triangulation.
You get to learn it wasn't your fault, there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not crazy.
You removed narcissist from.your life and you learnt to be grateful because you survived the narcissist.
You can be happy, you can smile again.
You begin to learn trust and set boundaries.
You get your mind back and learn to feel your beautiful heart.
You gain freedom You get to live a life free from abuse, chaos and drama.
You get to move on and live life on your own terms and break free from the negativity.
You get to piss off the narcissist because you are the winner. They will always be a narcissist.
You learn you can’t give or receive love until you learn to love yourself.
When you cut of narcissist from your life your Life can only improve.Think about that even if is hard now.
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What helped for me was:
Deciding it was over and I was never going back - no ambivalence, quickly followed by no contact so I would NOT be tempted by his offers to “stay friends” (aka keep using my resources at will).
Accept I was going to grieve this relationship (such as it was) and go through all the stages and emotions -Fear, sadness, anger etc.
Not rush or suppress any stages - know that the only way out is through.
Journal daily - to vent all the anger, to celebrate the moments I wasn’t sad/angry, to note that they were becoming more frequent.
Read Quora and watch a lot of YouTube videos to learn about narcissistic behaviours and how to fix the issues in me that let mistreatment of myself continue as long as it did.
Something that really helped was to think of the good things I missed about that relationship and give them to myself. For example, my ex was a covert manipulator and the way he sucks in people is to over-compliment them and offer all this (pretend) validation. I realised I was sucking it up like a hungry sponge because I never said nice things to myself.
So I started to work on my self-talk and I’d compliment myself out loud. Good Jedi brain trick - I could give myself a lot of the validation I was missing. I also bought myself flowers, took myself for massages, dressed up for myself, literally treat yourself as you wish your boyfriend had treated you.
Nearly 6 months of no contact and feeling on top of the world. My ex moved next door with his new supply the same week I kicked him out and now I see the same sh!t going on there.
She looks drained af, while everyone says I am shining like the sun. I feel amazing and freedom feels like a gift. It does take time to get there.
The sooner you go No Contact the better.
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There are many ways that you can let go of the narcissist from your life:
The first and foremost thing to do is stop obsessing about them. What are they up to, are they dating someone new, shall I go and stalk his social media? Please stop everything that brings you nuance rather than peace of mind.
The second thing you could do is to avoid trying to rationalize because that’s why they have manipulated you in the worst possible ways.
The third thing could be learning how to cope with your anxiety and depression. It’s not a joke to live with a narcissist. They take away everything from you so it’s better if you start living your life on your terms and avoid situations that enhance depression and anxiety in you.
The fourth way could be keeping yourself occupied. There must be some hobbies that you stopped pursuing while living with the narcissist. So, it’s the time you come back to it and start utilizing your time in something that only brings you peace of mind and soothes your soul like nobody else.
There could be more ways to stop blaming yourself because it was never your fault. Start focussing on self-love and give yourself the life you always deserved. Please learn to prioritize your pleasure and acknowledge anything that disturbs you even for a second to build a routine where it will hold no meaning and existence. I hope these tips will help you out.
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Two ways come to mind… 🤔
The first way is to educate yourself on NPD. You will soon come to realize that there is no future for you by giving the narcissist chance after chance to be ’normal’, they never will be, and you will suffer a great deal. There is no remedy to ‘fix' them.
The second way is to open your eyes to the abuse that you have already endured, and know there is much more coming your way in the future. That's what you got to look forward to.
If that's not enough to make you come to your senses and completely give up on your narc, you're on your own.
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I usually start seeing them as childish, less smart than me and generally pitiful. When I lose my respect for someone, it’s very easy to stop caring for them. I forget them soon afterwards.
So I suggest you start feeling pity for how pathetic and small they really are. Because they are weak and pitiful, let’s face it.
https://www.quora.com/What-should-I-do-to-give-up-on-a-narcissist
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Are narcissists impulsive?
Narcissists are very impulsive by nature. Because of their poor impulse control, narcissists get into many problems and put people into more problems.
Narcissists act impulsively when their ego gets triggered or when they experience shame. They may act impulsively by showing anger, blaming, gaslighting, taking rash decisions, and blaming people without understanding the core problems.
Narcissists may show impulsiveness in eating, drinking, substance abuse, spending, shopping, and road rage and be unable to control anger in sensitive situations. Narcissists come to conclusions very easily; they take decisions without thinking.
Narcissists can act very impulsively in the professional field; they can make poor decisions, which can result in lower income, job loss, or people suffering.
Narcissists can be impulsive in their cheating; they can cheat relentlessly without thinking of consequences.
Even non-narcissists can be impulsive by nature, but narcissists are more impulsive than non-narcissists.
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I have to say that a narcissist always prepares and plans. They plan to seek out a person for supply. They plan to sweep them off of their feet. Win them over. Then they plan to get rid of them if they don't live up to their so called perfect standards. They also plan to find another victim after they dump them and do the exact same thing to the next person.
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Narcissists are impulsive because they have enthroned their id, their primal animalistic urges - fear, jealousy, anger, lust.
To the infant, there is no right or wrong, merely impulses must be met, and if they are not the infant responds with rage, terror, wailing.
The Narcissist is much like the infant. Every urge is good, every urge is right, every urge must be fulfilled.
For if a narcissist has wrong urges, then they too must be wrong, so too must the narcissist be wrong, shameful, inferior.
But a narcissist is good, is right, correct, and so are each and every one of their urges.
If they are jealous, then they are right to be jealous, and they are right to do whatever their jealousy tells them to do in order to soothe themselves.
If they wish to avenge their jealousy by hurting you, by cheating on you, then that is the right thing to do. The narcissist worships their impulses, and follows them as much as they can, as they are right, good, correct.
If they are angry at you, then their anger is righteous anger, no matter how disproportionately angry they are, no matter what they do against you to dissipate their anger.
The only evil in the narcissist's world is not following their divine impulses, and all those who seek to stop the Narcissist from what their impulses tell them to do are evil.
People like you.
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OMG it is all impulsive, all the time! They live in the moment so if it feels good at the time, so be it.
I nicknamed my ex Scorpion after the fable. The scorpion is trapped and needs to get to the other side of the pond to survive. It asks a frog to carry it across the pond but the frog refuses because it is afraid the scorpion will sting him.
The scorpion convinces the frog since it would drown as well if it stung him so the frog agrees. Half way across the pond the scorpion stings the frog. In dismay the frog asks the scorpion why knowing that they will both die - the scorpion responds, “because it is my nature.”
Think of the screaming child that wants a treat at a store and mom says no, who then has a complete meltdown. Narcissists lack emotional maturity and react the same way as a 4 year old that can’t get what it wants.
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Absolutely. Narcissists tend to act like petulant children. If you cause any slight they will go on the attack to be right in any situation. I told my ex many times that she couldn’t help herself which was accurate. If she initiated an argument she would perpetuate it as all costs.
It finally came to a head when I refused to comply with her and told her to burn in hell and called her a witch. This because I was offering friendly advice to a person who suffered a traumatic brain injury with no intent to get involved with them. The narc demanded I stop. A total lack of empathy. If she really had a problem with that person she could have offered to help her and I would have let her offer advice as it would likely have been the same advice. Her goal was simply to keep me isolated from any friends or family.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Are-narcissists-impulsive
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Do narcissists fake emotions?
It’s hard to believe that the same hands that touched you tenderly at the start are now trying to strangle you.
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Narcissists do feel emotions like jealousy, envy, hatred, fear, anger, and disgust. They understand empathy on a basic level (cognitive empathy), but they don’t actually feel it. They don’t experience joy or sadness like most people, though they can get depressed and may seem sad. Narcissists feel all the negative emotions but lack the emotional empathy needed to truly care for or love others.
They often fake emotions, copying what they've seen others do. They’re good at reading people and knowing how to respond, but it’s all an act. Because they don’t feel empathy, they can be very cruel and abusive. They seem to care only about themselves and don’t have room for anyone else in their world. They focus all their energy on maintaining their fake persona and don’t like to waste time on people they no longer find useful.
After the love-bombing stage, once they know you're hooked, they stop putting in effort. Instead, they throw you small bits of attention (crumbs) just to keep you around. This is the devaluation stage, where they get fuel from your emotions while often starting to love-bomb someone else. Devaluation can last for years, as they drain as much as they can from you before finally discarding you. When they discard you, it’s cold and emotionless, like throwing out trash.
During devaluation, the weaker you become from their abuse, the stronger they feel. Once they find a new source of supply and move on, they might later think of you if they see you've recovered. This is when they may try to "hoover" you back into their life, apologizing and pretending they’ve changed. They might claim they loved you all along and were just going through a tough time.
If you’ve escaped, stay away. Don’t believe their words—focus on their actions. They can fake tears, apologies, and any emotion needed to pull you back in. But if you go back, the abuse will likely be even worse. Protect yourself by staying out and not letting them back into your life.
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Well, its like this.... Narcissists switch their fake emotions, empathy, love, care, respect, friendship, off and on in like a light switch. BUT in reality they are perpetually in that 'off' position because they are nothing but an empty shell devoid of life!
I could write out all of the words that describe this abuse and what a Narcissist does to destroy good people but what it boils down to is that they are ABUSIVE and DESTRUCTIVE.
They do not have the internal mechanisms associated with empathy, caring, love, respect or anything that deals with treating people in a normal or positive manner, yet alone the ability to have a loving relationship. They dehumanize people, lie to them, betray them, harm them, and DESTROY them – it is the cycle of abuse with a Narcissist. We get caught up in the horrendous and sick manipulation that they conned us into believing that THEY LOVED US.
As I’ve said many times before (you can check my past answers on “narcissists” and “narcissism”), that is the sickest thing a human being could do to another human, yet alone use that trust to extort what they can from a person. Every step of the way this creature has manipulated a target/victim only to use them up and discard them which was inevitable!
But also remember that before the discard the Narcissist psychologically abused you to put you in a place of total blame, made you vulnerable, disabled you, isolate and silenced you. Lastly they have gone out and spread rumors that YOU are the abuser, mentally ill, cheated on them and everything else they could think of to really seal your fate. This is the abuse in a nutshell!
What after any of this would it take to convince you that this was purely an agenda and how destructive they are and how you MUST free yourself from this abuse? Narcissists are ABUSERS! You have to accept this as reality as it concerns any relationship with them. BUT once you know the truth you must make a choice of what you are going to do. The best choice is to leave them, but if you choose to stay with them then you have to accept that they are GOING to abuse you and probably destroy your life AND you.
YES they seem to be very lovable, highly charming, possessing empathy and even intelligent. That is for a short time and the façade that they create and there is no reality to it. The only significance to it is that it allows the Narcissist to con people into their world to extort them! This becomes the very illusion and trap that the target/victims get caught up in that becomes the future source of so much misery for targets/victims.
We BELIEVE in the Narcissist’s manufactured love or we fall in love with them and become vulnerable because of the emotional attachment. It is a horrendous disappointment, and disillusionment when you realize that you fell in love with a perfect illusion of love that is TOTALLY manufactured!
It becomes traumatic then when you have to deal with this somehow and accept that the time you invested and the love that is a reality to you NEVER existed – IT WAS A FAÇADE to extort everything that this Narcissist could from you.
Underneath that façade was the Narcissist’s structured agenda to lure you in and capture you as a new source of supply. BUT the truth behind this manufactured love is that the Narcissists façade is so weak and disordered and very inconsistent. You were always feeling off balance and you somehow committed yourself to fix them and fix the relationship AND they took advantage of this.
Somewhere in all of this you lost sight of your individual needs because the Narcissist used your emotions and love AGAINST you to keep bringing you down and making you more vulnerable and dependent on them.
The Narcissist knew that love would make any human vulnerable and that is what they used to manipulate you. By their very nature they are out of control and jump at any opportunity to scam somebody or use them as supply, but Narcissists learned that manufactured love would secure at least one source of 24/7 supply and still allow them to have the freedom to secure OTHER supply on the side as well!
You were never the wiser as it concerned their perverted world (on the side) because you were too busy loving them and believing their distorted lies! Just even writing about this sounds too incredulous to be true BUT IT IS!
The complexity of the Narcissist consists entirely of coping and defense mechanisms that completely drive them. These mechanisms are ALL consuming and the Narcissist is working double time or even triple time to repress their severely damaged persona and that is all they are able accomplish to maintain their own distorted sanity – they live and breathe to control themselves and us.
So basically their disordered agenda HAS to include the false identity (mask) as part of their coping mechanism AND part of their defense to avoid having to look inward at how disordered they are, but they also need it desperately to achieve a source of supply. They are one HUGE defense mechanism that functions to repress their disordered and damaged self so they can cope with the real world and seem to be normal in our world. They protect it at all costs and if they are wounded they will strike out and attack anyone that threatens their world.
They CAN’T maintain the fake love because it is not anything real to them, it is a tool and just part of the overall defense mechanism. They become easily bored because they don’t experience the real emotions of love that connect two people normally. Don’t think I am saying this so that we pity them – there are two different directions that every person in this world has the capability to actualize – and that involves making the right or wrong choices! To destroy, harm, lie, steal, manipulate, destroy, etc. IS THE WRONG CHOICE and ABUSE!
Any effort that you invest in to try to relate to a Narcissist emotionally is doomed the very second you try to actualize your thoughts as a workable reality. Also any attempt that you make along the lines of trying to understand their world, their patterns, why they do what they do, or why they react in the manner they do, or relating their actions into viable emotions as YOU normally relate to emotions is also totally hopeless! It will always end up destructive to YOU and used against you by the Narcissist.
Narcissists make no emotional investments in anybody, but they do mimic emotions as a tool to manipulate you and I and the common laymen on the street. Along the same lines they feel no stimulation from you or the relationship that you have with them. You do however have a very clear and significant role and that is as Narcissistic Supply.
They abhor intimacy and see it as a weakness so you are only a means to an end as supply or basically an object that they need to function! You have heard the saying ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ – well a Narcissist is very ‘familiar’ with all human kind and they just judge us and group us all into this contemptuous role. They don’t need the familiarity of knowing you/us because they devalue human beings before they even know them! Narcissists do this as naturally as we breathe air!
BUT funny how they need us to survive so they go to all lengths to make us BELIEVE they care about or love us. It is a simple manipulation for them because all they do is mimic our needs, likes, loves, etc. right back onto us. They force themselves or PRETEND to have all the same qualities that we have. So what isn’t there to like about having SO MUCH in common with somebody. Unfortunately that somebody is a Narcissist and a pathological liar that aims to use their manipulation techniques to harm!
There is no love, no personal interest, no emotional attachment, and no intellectual stimulation with their significant others. Individuality is perceived as a threat to Narcissists so they manipulate through deception to control us and their environment (or their fortress.) The whole relationship is a process of devaluation to make targets/victims dependent on the Narcissist and it is seriously starts from day one to get you under their spell. Seriously we take on the role of a parent or baby sitter to a Narcissist.
Unfortunately we always end up dealing with a contemptuous and mean 3 year old that makes us a punching bag for their tantrums and rages, co-dependent or always walking on eggshells to soothe them, and caught up in every distorted whim of theirs. They never get better through our love, care and respect AND instead we are taken for granted and used more and more. It is a full time job that is emotionally and physically draining if you are a person that is directly connected to a Narcissist.
Then there is always the destruction that goes hand in hand with the relationship because it really isn’t a 3 year old child you are dealing with, but instead a highly disordered adult AND an abuser! A Narcissist ALWAYS end up devaluing, dehumanizing and hating their target/victim and they make sure that everyone knows that YOU are just this evil and have HURT them through their contemptuous smear campaign.
We are not capable of maintaining a one way relationship especially when our individual needs come into play AND this becomes our downfall. The Narcissist does throw out a few bones here and there but that is only to maintain their distorted agenda and keep us as active supply until they can find another MAIN source of supply.
Narcissists are always on the hunt for newer and better supply and we do have an expiration date! We are not objects so we start questioning our roles and the Narcissist’s behaviors and that is where the trouble starts. The Narcissist will not allow us to be anything but an adoring servant to them. We are not allowed to make them accountable for any of their actions and we fall out of grace quickly and punished severely.
Nobody can stay in a role where they are constantly devalued, reduced to constant blame, restricted in their capacity to grow, constantly lied to, extorted, betrayed, etc. But as simple as it seems to identify these traits as negative and to run for your life and away from this monster there are complexities from the abuse that keep the target/victim coming back for more.
The Narcissist has groomed their target/victim to basically identify totally with the fake love by using it to make the target/victim vulnerable and they take advantage of that to manage us down more and more. Simply put it is a form of behavioral modification or brain washing! It is subtle but effective and the target/victim gets caught up in this horrendous cycle of abuse. Love connects us at the hip to this disordered creature. The Narcissist utilizes very strong manipulation techniques to break us down and keep us down.
Unfortunately because we are just objects or instruments to a Narcissist and not a viable human being that they respect, we cease to be a viable source of supply in time so they move on to the next source without a care. Just take the time to consider your relationship with your Narcissist as the perfect example of being an instrument to serve them.
Where are you today? Probably discarded, very vulnerable, confused, hurt, disabled, totally drained and pretty close to being destroyed. You never really knew a real person because there wasn’t one there to know. Instead there was a ‘nobody’ there or a fake image we loved and believed in and we hung on to that nothingness believing it was real!
Narcissists are not fully functioning human beings and they live out their entire lives in pursuit of self-gratification or the clinical term Narcissistic Supply. They would have fared out better in prehistoric times where they would fit in with all of the other predators that lived to eat each other. Dinosaurs had no qualm about their agenda to consume whatever they could, so you knew that you had to run or be eaten (a luxury we don’t have with a Narcissist!)
In modern times prehistoric monsters are extinct and wouldn’t fit in at all. Narcissists have evolved to fit in and be able to seek out and consume prey. EVERYONE in the Narcissist’s world is an object AND a potential source of supply to con, then drain dry, and discard.
So the trap! Everybody that was or is in any kind of relationship with a Narcissist BELIEVED that this Narcissist’s love was real. They were real to you in many ways or so you believed, BUT the devaluation (abuse) was the ONLY real thing here and the agenda of this Narcissist to extort your entire life and love.
You had a ‘real’ sense of it, but what you BELIEVED is that given sufficient time and patience you could fix this Narcissist because that became your only role and the ‘fake’ LOVE got you there. BINGO that is what your relationship was all along ‘fixing’ this Narcissist, apologizing for their faults they projected onto you, and being supply. Likewise the Narcissist makes use of your naivety and exploits it to their benefit.
The Narcissist uses natural love and all of the emotions associated with it to extract their supply. This Narcissist also uses your pain from the devaluation to please him/her. They also use it to extract MORE supply by making you beg for that fake love and very vulnerable to keep you in the never ending cycle of providing supply. You give and give and bend and bend until you practically snap in two.
What does that all boil down to?
The Narcissist plays and plays with your normal psyche to groom or change and shape it by penetrating your defenses through their vast arsenal of manipulation. The ‘real’ you starts to slowly disappear as the Narcissist basically assigns (manipulates) new behaviors onto and into you and you now have evolved your own ‘false self’ that coincides with the Narcissist’s many distorted needs!
It is not the same as the Narcissist’s ‘false self’ that is self-manufactured but instead an outcome of the Narcissist’s agenda. Through osmosis you become a slave to them. Idealization or devaluation is in reality all part of this process of changing you to meet all of the Narcissist’s needs!
It is a very well thought out agenda on the Narcissist’s part and it is supported by their ability to manipulate you thoroughly or psychologically abuse you. Let’s call it psychological terrorism or psychological rape. They are the GREAT manipulator!
The Narcissist achieves this by basically infiltrating our psyche with that famous charm and manufactured love that poured out so easily and constantly! Then they penetrate our defenses, AND once they secure our love and TRUST, we are basically putty in their hands to completely extort our lives and love!
This is all there was to the relationship as far as the Narcissist was concerned, but consider the time and energy you put into believing that this was real and then the outcome of realizing the truth. There is no easy out even when you learn the truth because you now have to deal with a reality that is so foreign to you. You now have to somehow convince yourself that this is a FACT after the many years of believing otherwise.
You have to search for help and answers. You have to suddenly become a scholar that understands personality disorders. You have to rise above the pain and destruction and basically become a superhero to yourself.
Well then what is left after everything thing you invested with your love and time with them? Nothing but total despair, betrayal at a hideous level and vulnerability. You are not going to be that superhero for some time.
The road ahead of you requires a great deal of education and introspection to understand all of this. You have to fall out of love and realize that there never was love. You have to tax your mind in a manner to make it believe something so foreign to you. It is like a virus in your body that spreads everywhere.
There is no Guru out there or magic fix to any of this. You are now having to deal with your own behavioral issues that manifest themselves as depression and anxiety. You are questioning your own belief system. You have experienced a form of behavioral modification or brain-washing and ALL of this has to be dealt with.
You have to deal with the emotions surrounding the loss of love and grieving that too. DON’T and I mean don’t look for magical cures because they don’t exist. Think of this in the terms of trying to heal yourself from heart disease or diabetes. You have to seek professional help or the issues will resurface later and you will be unhealthy for the rest of your life.
As I look back and remember the abuse I can clearly see the devaluation process so clearly NOW. I can see how this person I believed in was one HUGE exaggerated lie. After the fact I can see how this Narcissist destroyed their own family with the same lies and distortions that pulled me in.
I see hate, envy, crazy lies, and manipulation from an insane individual that lies their way through life and enjoys the harm that they inflict on others. I see a person that is so PERVERTED and a sexual addict that will connect with anybody or anything they can con into their lifestyle. This Narcissist put these sexual needs before their own family without a care or the embarrassment that it caused to any of them.
I believed and supported this monster in an effort to help them through serious problems and I only enabled them to abuse the people they left damaged before me. I was just the next target for this Narcissist to avoid exposure and use my goodness as a shield as well as extort everything they could from me and my family. These huge problems were just more scams to cover the truth and pull sympathy in for this Narcissist’s distorted cause.
This Narcissist is EVERYTHING that clinically defines this disorder. I am so thankful that I was able to break free of this person’s convoluted and destructive world. I pity everyone that came before me that also had to deal with this monster. I also pity the new target/victims that are living the huge lie now. One day you WILL be able to separate yourself from them with the truth lighting your way and you will no longer have ANY connection with them.
When you are healthy again and on the road to real recovery THEN and only then can you look inward and create new boundaries, work on issues that may have allowed you to accept abuse, or basically fix the things that need help. This is a process and has no specified time attached to it. BUT and this is important, there has to be an ‘ah ha’ moment when you get it, or actualize the truth and move away from trying to understand the Narcissist or EVER thinking you could get into their head in a manner to help you through your healing process.
You have to accept that they are disordered and turn your thoughts back onto yourself. YOU are what is important here. Your well-being and returning to a healthy lifestyle is a must. You cared WAY too much about this Narcissist and almost gave yourself up to save them and it got you nowhere. They are what they are and will never change. They will never love you or even like you.
They are gone and abusing somebody else and they are not feeling anything as it concerns you. They don’t feel any pain from abuse because they were the abuser. They also don’t feel any withdrawal from love because they never really loved you. They are not feeling any remorse for the damage they have left you with because they are abusive and that is there modus operandi or mode of operation and the environment thst they operate in.
*game over*
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Excellent post! I could not have worded it any better nor could a therapist! Only a true victim could have worded it like you have. Thank You.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-fake-emotions
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:rofl:
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What harsh truths do you think a narcissist knows yet prefers to ignore?
They know a lot more about their own personality disorder than what they let anyone else know. They can’t let anyone else know, that would spoil the game for them. They wouldn’t be able to do what they do and get away with it. That’s a hard truth to ignore.
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I think there are a great many harsh truths narcissists want to keep out of their field of consciousness.
They worry that if you were to become aware of these seemingly unalterable truths, you may immediately head for the hills.
They try to not contemplate said apparent unalterable realities, for when they do ruminate about them, they begin to wonder whether they have any control over their own lives.
In other words, narcissists observe themselves engaging in the same counterproductive behaviors cycle after cycle.
They are apt to develop a strong sense that they are merely spectators, as opposed to active participants, in their own lives.
A few harsh truths that support the above contentions are as follows.
Narcissists do not want you to know virtually all of their mean-spirited behaviors are tests to discern whether or not you are devoted to them..
Narcissists do not want you to know that every interaction you have with them has nothing to do with love, concern, and caring and has everything to do with trying to exert control, competition, and their insatiable desire to always be “winning.”
Narcissists do not want you to know that that once the Idealization phase ends, the better you treat them, the worse they will inevitably find themselves treating you.
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Abusive: Under all the projections and blame shifting. They know who they are and what they do.
Manipulation: They do have moments of reality, and know the mental mind f*ck they play on their partner.
Lies: They know the image they portray through social media and to others is Fake.
Gaslighting: They know they have such a low sense of self worth they can’t accept fault for anything. And will twist, turn, project you into insanity.
Lay Awake: I imagine they lay awake most nights thinking about how they have mistreated many, in complete selfishness. Only to wake up the next morning and repeat the cycle.
Self Help Books: They know they are reading not for them, but for others. So they can claim superiority and knowledge, when they know they have very little of any self awareness.
Happiness: They know they will never find it in life, or with a partner. In reality it’s sad.
They go through life pretending to be someone they are not while washing it down with alcohol and lying and manipulating anyone in their way.
You think with the list above, it would initiate change, right? One other HARSH TRUTH they ignore, “they don’t care.”
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The brutal truth is that they’re very sick individuals. They are clinically diagnostically mentally ill people who also do not understand why they do the things they do.
They want what we all want. A happy healthy relationship with their best friend and lover. To live out their days in peaceful contentment. To explore life, grow and thrive. To live genuinely and with moral responsibility.
To face challenges and uncertainty with grace. To come out the other end of that intact and stronger and smarter than ever. To love life and the people in their lives through good times and bad. They want that very badly and are envious of those that do.
They’ll have moments in their lives when they will come close and will feel the happiest they've ever felt but it's short-lived. This life is not sustainable for them and they will always self-sabotage. It's inevitable.
They will always hurt the people who loved them the most.
They’re dangerous. They will hurt you. They will find a way and will always hurt you, and will rationalize their actions. It's never their fault. You DESERVED it. YOU hurt them, YOU let them down, YOU deceived them. And they will make you pay.
They’re capable of anything. Domestic Violence, emotional abuse, financial abuse, rape. Child abuse and neglect, sexual harassment, elder abuse, fraud, and blackmail. They will sleep with your friends, your family, steal from you, ruin your reputation and career. Stalk you and damage property. Nothing is above them.
And they will come back over and over when boredom sets in.
The brutal truth is you’ve been conned and are the victim of abuse.
If they’re higher functioning it may take you awhile to see it. The higher functioning narcissists are able to carryout their con so subtly it can go undetected. The abuse is next to impossible to see.
The brutal truth is you need to close the door on that part of your life. Learn from it, educate yourself and find a a really good therapist. Begin the healing today.
No one deserves to be treated this poorly.
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That they’re hollow nothingness hiding behind a mask?
That no-one but them has feelings.
That other people also have rights as a sovereign individual.
If they used their talents in a positive light they would go far in society and be much more positively appreciated. They prefer to dwell in the dark.
That civilised society is possible because of certain, often unspoken, rules of civility and order…… it is not about chaos, confusion and constantly charging through/breaking down those personal barriers and breaking EVERY rule in the book. That’s anti-social behaviour, despite the fact they believe they’re perfect.
That their behaviour is toxic, despicable, undesirable to the point of being diabolical and it’s their personal choice to behave that way.
That they’re spineless and on a negative destructive track in life.
That healthy people dislike them intensely and find it distasteful to be in their presence…… and NO they’re not perfect. They may be perfect specimens of evil, that’s all, nothing positive.
They’re dancing with the devil and will have to pay for it one day.
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All of them.
There is no truth to them.
They will say, do whatever will benefit them.
You are not a consideration.
They will do what makes them happy.
When you no longer fulfill EVERY need, the fault will be yours, you will be ridiculed,
shut out, only to have to wonder what in the world happened?
They will manipulate you into questioning your behavior.
When you do that you will want answers even more, maybe even apologize for what they have done.
This will satisfy the delusion you are nothing, they are everything;
after all, you are still with them so they are great. Get out now.
https://www.quora.com/What-harsh-truths-do-you-think-a-narcissist-knows-yet-prefers-to-ignore
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What is something a narcissist won't see coming?
#1 – How Their Own Behavior Ends Up Hurting Them in The Long Run.
They’re very short sighted in how they behave. They lie all the time. They are very impulsive. They’re always in the moment about how they behave. They’re constantly gaslighting and using parts of truth to sort of manipulate things and talk to people and manipulate situations.
That is why you can use all of that for great leverage and strategies. Their behavior does end up hurting them in the long run. They lie about everything. They lie about even things that are very easily verifiable even things that they don’t need to lie about. They leave a massive path of destruction and people do see that they lie. They don’t see how their behavior ends up hurting them in the long run.
#2 – You Dropping Your Anger.
They expect you to constantly push back because you normally have developed like a dance with them where you are triggered. They like that. You’re conditioned. You take the bait. They get their supply from that, and they are used to that. When you stop taking the bait and you are no longer triggered by them and you are no longer angry they are taken aback by that and they do not see that coming.
They’re not sure what to do with that and they definitely don’t see that coming at all. When you change your behavior, they’re not sure what to do with that. Anytime you change up your behavior and drop your anger, they do not see that coming.
#3 – You Forgiving Them.
That totally stops them in their tracks and, by the way, it is the best thing for you. That’s another whole conversation but I’m telling you that you can get to that point and that’s the best thing for you.
#4 – Healthy Boundaries.
When you are changing the game and you are saying that you are no longer allowing certain things and saying that this is no longer how it is going to look for you and that the way it had been established is no longer the game, they’re not ready for that.
They will not be happy about it but there are certain things that you need to just stop doing and stop thinking that they are going to change and stop thinking things are going to be different and stop going back to them and stop thinking that you’re going to get closure or stop thinking that they’re going to see things in a certain way because that is not ever going to happen. You just have to come to the conclusion that certain things about narcissists are just never going to change and that it is time for you to just move on.
#5 – You Leaving.
For whatever reason, they are under this delusion that you are just going to stay and that you are just going to keep coming back and you’re just going to continue with this craziness. It is definitely the best thing for you to leave.
You leaving, healthy boundaries, forgiveness, no more anger, all of those things are definitely the best things for you but they won’t see any of that coming nor will they see how their behavior hurts them in the long run.
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That those they cheat and scam with are using them as much as they are using others! They believe they are superior and above getting conned. I literally watched mine get scammed by several of the whores he was cheating on me with, before and after I left him.
They do NOT LEARN.
They always believe that the next lie, the next scam, the next “true love” is real…and it is ALL a fantasy of BS they concoct to feel superior, special, loved. They are just too stupid to realize that if they want to be truly loved, THEY have to be loving.
What they never see coming, going, or otherwise - it that they are full of sh!t. They are liars. And that they are NOT all that special - and that it WILL all catch up to them some day. Sadly, a lot of innocent people will be destroyed along the way.
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They are brilliant strategists and so whenever their victims discover their evil games, this is not something that they will take lightly.
I think that they are highly intuitive and so when their victim suddenly becomes indifferent, they will realize that the game is over.
And they have to face failure……….. their strategy failed.
May all victims of narcissism face the truth and stop trying to excuse abusive behavior. Abuse gets worse and never better.
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Narcissists often have a distorted view of themselves and their relationships, which can lead to certain blind spots. Here are a few things they might not see coming:
Consequences of Their Actions: Narcissists may underestimate the impact of their behavior on others. When their actions lead to significant consequences, such as losing relationships or professional opportunities, they can be caught off guard.
Loss of Control: When others begin to assert their boundaries or stand up to a narcissist, they may be surprised by the pushback. Narcissists often expect compliance and may not anticipate resistance.
Genuine Relationships: The development of authentic connections among people who see through their facade can be unexpected. Narcissists often rely on superficial relationships, so deeper bonds can threaten their control.
Criticism from Unexpected Sources: When someone they respect or rely on offers criticism, it can be shocking. Narcissists typically surround themselves with admirers, so facing criticism from a trusted source can be jarring.
Betrayal by Allies: If someone close to them, such as a friend or partner, decides to expose their behavior or distance themselves, it can be a significant shock. Narcissists often believe they can manipulate their inner circle without consequences.
Emotional Vulnerability: If a narcissist experiences a situation that exposes their own vulnerabilities, such as a significant failure or loss, they may struggle to cope. Their usual defenses may not hold up, leading to unexpected emotional responses.
Understanding these aspects can help in navigating relationships with narcissists, as they often operate under a different set of assumptions about themselves and others.
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I think there are three essential things that a narcissist won’t see coming but that can help you so incredibly. Whether they’re narcissistic or just selfish or passive aggressive people, it applies equally I’d say.
1-No more anger: Narcissistic and passive aggressive people tend to thrive on your anger, so STOP giving it to them. Passive aggressive people actually WANT you to get angry because it’s a displacement of their own anger. So do yourself a favor and stop taking the bait. I put a little paper up on my mirror that says “don’t take the bait” and it’s a GOOD reminder.
Life is filled with little things and big things alike to make you angry, to get you to react, to make you lose it. Don’t let the baiters win, don’t give them what they need and want because it only ever hurts you. It hurts you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So #1 is NO MORE ANGER.
2-Forgiveness: I think deep down a narcissist or passive aggressive knows they’re not treating you well, despite the level of denial and delusion, and since they also tend to thrive on your anger, the last thing they expect and perhaps care to have, is your forgiveness.
But here’s the thing, when you forgive them it just sets YOU free, makes YOU more whole, and brings YOU health. For them, they don’t expect it, and they might not care to have it for a long long time, but it matters, and they’ll never expect it.
3-Healthy boundaries: When you’ve found the answers to less anger and forgiveness, this one comes naturally. And one thing a narcissist or passive aggressive will never expect (and will never like) is you establishing healthy boundaries. When you learn to deal with your anger and you learn to forgive you inherently grow as a person and you start to realize your fundamental value, and when you understand your value you realize that you don’t need to allow people to treat you horribly.
You establish basic healthy boundaries, and this takes all of a narcissist’s power away if you can keep those boundaries up. It’s not about building walls to shut out the world or other people, it’s just about recognizing that there’s a line you will no longer allow people to cross in their treatment of you. It also doesn’t require aggression or a mean spirited nature on your part, but simply a calm resolve to protect your sanity, physical health, spirituality, and so on.
I saw when I started taking control of these things in my life, it took control away from the narcissistic and passive aggressive people. It put them on confusing ground while I grew to understand more about myself that I really needed to know. I think sometimes we deal with these people so long that we get into the mindset that they’re the problems in our lives, but would those problems exist if we didn’t have our own problems which allowed us time and again to accept their horrible behavior?
The only one I can change is me, so I might as well give up the ghost of changing him or her, getting revenge on them, making some big poignant statement or point, because those things really don’t work. What works is helping myself, caring about myself, and THAT will always shock a narcissist, because they expect you to always and only care about them.
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Narcissists want to have their way with you, and they don't expect you to resist in any way.
Narcissists will target those things, which give you the utmost excitement or pleasure.
They will target those things you most look forward to, those things which are most important to you, and push you away from those things. Or they will push those things away from you.
Don't let the narcissist see those things which really excite you or please you, those things which are most important to you and bring you joy.
If they are looking, then don't allow them to distinguish things that provide you with high levels of excitement, pleasure, joy, with those things which only provide you with mild or medium levels of excitement, pleasure, joy.
In other words, don't let them distinguish those things which are of moderate levels of importance to you, from your holy grail.
If they must target you, let them shoot in the dark, force them to take a scattered approach.
When the narcissist is scattered, their ability at exerting any leverage or influence over you, is at it's lowest.
Their chances of hitting the target full on, are unlikely.
Narcissists don't like it, when you don't play ball.
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Almost anything. Look, please don’t equate manipulation and deception with intelligence. They aren’t smart, they are manipulative & deceptive. I am confident you get the picture.
That being said, I had a friend who got bit in the knee by a ferret once. They had to take her to the ER with the ferret still attached; pry the ferrets jaws apart with pliers as they were injecting it with a paralytic. What on earth does this have to do with what we are talking about?
Narcissists are like that ferret. They never let anything go. They are vengeful, spiteful & incredibly subtle in their methods of destruction. Me? I don’t need any further narcissistic bite marks. Leave it alone, learn move on. Don’t plan revenge or you’ll end up with lot of scars.
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Covert Narcissists won't see the following coming:
Their long term spouse leaving them.
A main supply discarding them quickly.
An ex making contact with someone they've dated.
Neighbours and acquaintances finding out who they are.
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Narcissists are relentless at pursuing something they want, generally speaking that boils down to “supply”. Maybe that desire to obtain new or better supply is the closest thing to love that they’ll ever experience emotionally, even though it’s nothing like love.
I think what they don’t see coming is that any one person supplying them will never be enough and whatever they had to do, whatever mountains they had to move, whomever they threw under the bus, whatever lies they had to tell, to obtain a source of supply, in a fairly short time of receiving it, it dawns on them…it’s still not enough. And in many cases, the supply they blew up the world to obtain not only becomes something they no longer want, but actually the scapegoat for the fact that the NPD no longer wants them.
They’re so hellbent on getting what they want that I think they don’t see it coming that soon enough they’ll want something else and no longer be interested in what they fought to obtain. They ought to bcuz it’s a pattern they revisit over and over throughout their lives, but I really don’t think they do. I don’t believe their thinking really extends beyond “how can I get what I want RIGHT NOW!?”
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What everyone else sees as the obvious inevitability of their behaviour in various situations your average narcissist will be completely oblivious to the repercussions that are lying in wait. The price they pay for having no empathy, selfishness and a complete lack of self awareness. Oh and lets throw in a generous sprinkling of arrogance as icing on the cake.
So when long suffering partner decides ‘I’me off’ they are beyond perplexed and as close to falling apart as is possible. As for coming home on an evening to find partners wardrobe bare with the keys on the kitchen table that really is enough to tip them over the edge. Never mind the abuse, selfishness, belittling and criticism that drove the partner to this decision in the first place. All the narcissist can think is:
‘How could do they do this to me? After all I’ve done for them’.
Then how about the friends that just get pissed off with their unreliability and freeloading ways. Friends don’t hang about as long as partners but still the narcissist will be bemused. All they can think is:
‘They will never find anyone else as popular as me’
Then the boss who has just had enough of the lies, backstabbing and perpetual time off. The narcissist wonders just how they could be treated so badly and then proclaims in their defence:
‘It was me that held that place together’.
Narcissists are a delusional bunch. Always thinking no one can survive without them when their bluff is called they really truly cannot believe it. This lack of preparedness is what sends them doolally as they simply cannot survive out there in the big wide world on their own. Being caught short is unfamiliar and ultimately scary territory.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-something-a-narcissist-wont-see-coming
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Do narcissists play
childish games?
Ron Culley
Just now
Kinda. Narcs play Narc Games. Children play by THE RULES. Narcs don’t.
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Does a bear sh!t in the woods?
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They are children. A narcissist at their core is just a selfish, insecure, un-empathetic person who only cares about themselves and making themselves the Center of attention.
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The narc is extremely childish. He throws temper tantrums if he doesn’t get his way or doesn’t get attention. He is spoiled and wants the world handed to him on a silver platter. He is very envious of others and wants what others have and will whine about how unfair it is that those people have more than he does. He pouts and goes silent when he doesn’t get his way.
He interrupts and wants to talk about himself, and if you don’t allow him to interrupt and ignore him, he gets angry and stomps off to his room to play with his phone. He gets angry when you don’t cook the food he likes or you don’t go to the restaurant he likes.
He gets angry if you don’t drop everything you’re doing to run and see what the emergency is, only to find out that he wanted you to see that he figured out how to use a broom and actually sweep the floor or that he’s done something similar. He gets angry if he can’t watch the shows he likes.
He is a child in an adult body.
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Yes. Emotionally, the narcissist responds much like a spoiled child expecting to be the center of attention, receiving his desires without limits.
IMO narcissists are childish about money, sharing within a family and with friends. Even coworkers find the narcissist desires recognition, titles and special privileges. Children naturally enter life with a self centered perspective but, as they develop empathy, learn to give and take, acquire responsibility, the child matures.
While professionals know more about how narcissism develops, the facts are consistently that narcissists do not mature emotionally or empathetically to be in healthy relationships. Somewhere, somehow, they remain self centered and hard hearted toward others so that they are able to use, deceive and discard human beings like lifeless objects supplies they no longer want. Children throwing away toys.
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Yes, daily. Life is all one big game to a narcissist. One they must always be the winners of. The childish douchey Block/Unblock game, and the triangulation games are just two examples of their foolery and nonsense. There are many many more though.
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Their intire life is a social frame laarp.
A game in which they cheat compulsively.
And a game in which they can’t ever lose.
Thus they can never admit defeat, or experience any meaning, because to them there are no stakes as risks are merely exciting.
A delusional sense of omnipotence combined with a complete disconnect with reality and themselves. Winning the game is how they justify their unjustifiable existence. Due to them desecrating everything their super ego holds dear. They can’t mantle their own morality - thus the suffering (abuses & violations) they inflict on others can only ever prove their own existence too themselves temporarily.
They’re in an egoless crisis.
Because they lack “character”, they lack the self.
Because they don’t see themselves as real, they don’t see their victims as real either.
By trying to win life at any cost, they fail life at every opportunity.
By ridding themselves of attachments, they rid their lives of meaning.
By removing their vulnerabilities, they remove their ability too feel.
By subjecting everything else to their existential crisis, they damn themselves to an existence intirely ruled by their own.
They make all the worst choices, play all the nastiest moves, burn all the bridges of possibility. By forcing victory, they forgo virtue.
It’s a zero sum game where they’re fighting reality itself. So thus they are crushed by reality itself.
And the real consequences of their real actions. :jandoor:
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-play-childish-games
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Do narcissists blame you for all they are doing and that’s why you are the crazy one?
YES!
That’s your lot in life.
Your cross to bare.
YOU are the root of all evil, and the problem.
That’s part of the drill, and part of the deal with a narcissist.
You have to be what’s wrong, so that they’re not.
YOU have to shoulder all of the blame, and you have to be the dumping ground for their negative emotions.
You have to be their personal garbage receptacle.
That’s one of the biggest reasons that narcissists have “partners”.
And here’s a cheat code/hack when it comes to narcissists.
After love bombing, that’s all that you will be.
You have nothing else to look forward to, and there will be no alternative outcome.
And that’s why, no one should ever hitch their wagon to a narcissist.
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Well, they certainly don't see themselves as the crazy one.
I mean, they do know there is something “off” about themselves, but they are skilled at making themselves believe nothing is wrong with them.
It is their mastered art of self deception, where they gaslight themselves into believing whatever narrative suits them most.
No matter how flaky the argument, no matter how absurd, they believe it.
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First of all, we are not the crazy one. They are the crazy ones trying to make us crazy. And yes, they will blame you for everything they are doing thats defined under blame shifting.
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Yes they do precisely that.
But we are not stupid. Gaslight me once I will accept. Gaslight me twice, now I am starting to think. Third time you do that, sorry but I will know with whom I am dealing with.
Narcissists are the same around the world. So it should not be that difficult for us victims to pin point another narcissist that is trying to make the hit.
Be careful as they can be highly dangerous. Be always on full alert mode.
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Yes, unless you cater to their every whim or if you object to something they want, then you are the crazy one. If you get upset with them because of something they did or didn’t do, you are crazy and need psychological help.
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That’s called blameshifting.
Followed by gaslighting.
If a person exhibits these behaviors they are someone to completely avoid.
Narcissists have the gall to continue their behaviors even if you call them out on their BS.
With the weaker ones it will cause a narcissistic injury.
The ones higher on the spectrum are hoping you want to challenge them.
They are extremely weak individuals compared to you and THEY know it.
Even if you tell them about their behaviors indirectly they will continue with gaslighting, blameshifing and indirect put downs.
Knowledge is power.
Use it…
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-blame-you-for-all-they-are-doing-and-that-s-why-you-are-the-crazy-one
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:10:
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The emotion one should ever feel after being discarded by a narcissist is gratitude and relief.
8 Ways Narcissists Discard (And What It Means For YOU!)
In this video, we explore the different methods that narcissists use to discard their partners, from the silent treatment to gaslighting and smear campaigns. We'll also explore the reasons why narcissists discard, such as a desire for control and a need for new sources of narcissistic supply. If you're wondering why you've been discarded by a narcissist, or you're looking to learn more about this behavior, then this video is for you.
@FallenMonk55
10 months ago
My narcissistic ex would say things like I was her soulmate, and she loved me with all her heart and soul. Then discarded me like last week's newspaper. Emotionally detaching after being treated like I don't exist to her anymore was the biggest challenge of my life....
@kellyramirez2330
6 months ago
I feel so much shame because I even begged him to stay, I completely lost myself to him I felt like I was worthless without him but now I know im not, and I deserve love.
@mikeyjoechicago5818
1 year ago
Who cares how or why they're gone, as long as they're gone. Never to be welcomed back.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqLNiLW_8OQ
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Why do narcissists want to hurt us so much? Were they really never in a relationship with us?
They were never in a relationship with you at all.
YOU were in a relationship. They were in business.
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NEVER!
Not in the way you and I understand a relationship.
Simplistically put, a “relationship” with a narcissist on their end, is transactional and conditional.
I call them a relationshit or a situationship.
There is no true connection or emotional attachment.
The partner is seen as a tool or a commodity. Kind of like a shovel, or crude oil.
A means to get their needs met, nothing more. The reasons they want to hurt us, I could go on for days. There is a plethora of information on Quora as to the why.
But just know, a relationship with a narcissist doesn’t mean what you think it means.
And for that reason alone, they should be avoided at all costs.
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It’s just how they're wired. They either lack empathy all together or have very little. They also don’t view their abuse as bad or abusive. As strange as it sounds. They can be in relationships but it’s not the same to them as it is to people without NPD. They only need to be in a relationship to obtain narcissistic supply. That’s it. They cannot love. They cannot care for you. They fake it really well but they don’t feel it. It’s a miserable experience for them and they do feel pain but they are never able to fill the void that they suffer from.
Narcissists are on a constant non-stop quest for more delicious narcissistic supply that is always running out therefore they always need more. So they seek supply everywhere they go from literally anyone that they meet. They will never become attached to you. They are incapable of honest real attachment all they can do is use or abuse. Their entire life. What kills me is due to how their brian is wired they are capable of totally destroying a persons life and then very easily discard that person when they got bored and move onto their next victim.
As time goes by the narcissist does forget their victim ever existed in their life so they get away with their horrific abuse and feel no remorse or regret and soon enough that innocent victim is gone from their memory all together. It’s tragic. It’s sickening. I had a hard time accepting this to be true. But I’ve been researching for a year and I accept the truth now. And I hate it.
The best any of us can do is learn as much as we can to avoid ever getting involved in another Narc relationship ever again. Education is literally everything. It’s the only defense us non-NPD folks have.
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That's exactly right, you was in the relationship on your own. Nothing was real. When they made themselves into what they thought you wanted it wasn't real. When they seemed upset or angry about the lies they made up about you, accusing you of cheating for example, they were acting — they knew it was them who was cheating and you were innocent they just wanted attention.
Everything was fake, everything was acting. You can not have a “relationship” with somebody who has NPD.
It's very sad that they have it and will never bond to anyone or know anyone even because they only see themselves. Unfortunately there's nothing that can be done to help them, no therapy or medication. They are stuck like that and they will only ever torment and hurt who ever they are interacting with in their fake relationship. Therefore there's only one thing to do and that's leave them to it.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-hurt-us-so-much-Were-they-really-never-in-a-relationship-with-us
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:tello: News Flash: I got word thru reliable sources that my Narc has flip-flopped on her position in regards to her human violations against me.
Word is she WILL provide Heating for me this winter.
And perhaps a few other refinements.
But that can change in an instant.
Stay tuned for more insane character flaws.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled blog.
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Does a narcissist pick their victim?
Yes. Carefully.
They are both attracted and disgusted by strong and successful people with just a smidgen of self-esteem or family trauma. Attracted because those people are strong and admirable. They elevate you just having them in your orbit - but that’s the rub.
Narcissists hate themselves and protect themselves from that hate by conjuring a larger than life character who is confident and charming. Reality is they hate you because you have all those nice things - empathy, confidence. They don’t have those things, so because they can’t, they need to bring you down a peg or two million. They will slowly and carefully set about addicting you to their charm while they plot ways to encourage you to kill yourself. It really is that bad. If you do find yourself in this situation trust your gut and run!
https://www.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-pick-their-victim
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3 months facts! New supply knew all about me. He is now cheating on her.
THE NARCISSIST’S NEW SUPPLY—WILL CATCH IT WITHIN 3 MONTHS AFTER THE NARCISSIST BURNS OUT!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zN6pkdMyUWc
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Why do narcissists
disgrace someone?
Narcissists have developed the perfect mask.
A complex web of traits and features, designed to make them come across as normal, desirable and, of course, better than you.
They are uniquely special.
But these traits and features; the mask, is artificial.
Narcissists exhaust themselves, constantly, trying to keep the weakly supported artifice in place.
And then you come along, possessing positive traits, but yours are real, genuine –
you are just being yourself.
The fact you can carry yourself in a positive manner, effortlessly at that, because you are being your genuine self, angers the narcissist.
Their subconscious tells them something must be wrong with them, if they can't be normal and positive whilst at ease.
But they cannot accept this thought.
Accepting any truth as to their imperfection, is too painful for them to bear.
And this is why narcissists are always on the offensive, the attack.
Shaming, belittling you, usually in a subtle back-handed manner, before you have the chance to naturally shine and therefore making them feel shameful.
Narcissists want to erase your humanity, so they can feel more normal in their own skin.
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Why do they shame you? Just like anyone else’s reasons for shaming someone. Because they want you to appear to be a nasty ugly person and they the victims of your abuse. They will say and do anything to keep the abuse they instilled upon you away from others, especially their new supply.
They want you to appear crazy and abusive so then they can say look see. That’s what I had to deal with. And all the while you are confused and unknowing what is going on wondering “what the he’ll just happened. Where have I been these last few years. Oh my… I have a voice?” Lol that’s how they get new people to believe their sad stories. I do have to say though, the narc I know has 3 assaults in just one county on 3 different women. I’m pretty sure if you can’t read between the lines on that one then you may just deserve him. Lol.
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As a genuine person, you feel, and you speak up about how you feel. You might also have no problem calling a spade a spade, especially if someone is making you uncomfortable or when you sense that there's something off about a person. But a narcissist will turn around and use your own feelings against you.
They'll call you sensitive for speaking up. They'll remain cold and emotionless, and act like you're somehow unhinged for having feelings and expressing them. They position themselves above you and look at you like you're some kind of out-of-control, helpless child who just can't keep themselves together. They regard you with pity.
It's in this way that they shame you with your own emotions. What you feel, what you observe, and what you speak up about are all personal to you. You have every right to feel what you feel and to speak your truth. But beware, a narcissist will use every last bit of your authenticity against you, to paint you as incapable.
https://www.quora.com/unanswered/Why-do-narcissists-disgrace-someone
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:tello: "Worth repeating...."
What do narcissists want to happen to you at the end?
Narcissists want to hurt you in many ways by the end of the relationship. Their goal is to:
Make You Suffer: They want you to feel heartache and pain, making you miserable.
Break Your Spirit: They aim to crush your confidence and self-esteem, leaving you feeling worthless.
Make You Lose Faith in People: By treating you badly, they hope you'll stop trusting others and become isolated.
Cause Your Mental Breakdown: They want to push you to the point where you might have a mental breakdown because of all the stress and manipulation.
Break Your Heart: They aim to shatter your heart into a million pieces, making you feel intense emotional pain.
Hurt You Deeply: They want to cause you more pain than you've ever felt before.
Damage You Beyond Repair: Their goal is to leave you so emotionally and mentally damaged that it's hard for you to recover.
See You Cry: They want to see you cry and feel sad, enjoying the power they have over your emotions.
Hear You Beg: They want you to beg them to stay, giving them a sense of control and power over you.
Make You Feel Unworthy: They aim to make you feel unloved and undeserving of love.
Make You Blame Yourself: They want you to believe that their abusive behavior is your fault, so you feel guilty and confused.
Destroy You Completely: Their ultimate goal is to destroy you emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically.
Make You Lose: They want to see you fail and lose in life, feeling victorious over your downfall.
Be the Cause of Your Downfall: They want to be the reason for your demise, taking satisfaction in the power they had to bring you down.
Narcissists want to leave you broken, hurt, and destroyed. They take pleasure in your suffering and aim to have a lasting negative impact on your life. They seek control, power, and validation by making you feel unworthy and blaming yourself for the abuse. Their ultimate goal is to see you defeated and ensure that they remain the dominant figure in your life, even after the relationship ends.
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A narcissist wants you to be their forever servant/slave/tool unwavering, unquestioning, compliant, faithful with a never ending supply of adoration and love that views them as God almighty. That is all!
If you unmask them to the point it causes public humiliation and you inflicted a narcissistic injury. They may want you to suffer and die. Or just suffer as long as they feel you “deserve" it. Until you “see the light" and denounce your belief in anything and everything and give your whole allegiance to them.
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There is no end because it’s a cycle of abuse. The narcissist has done everything in their power to make you feel like you don’t exist, and that you are far too unimportant to have any meaning in their life. Actually the opposite is true.
You are far too important for them to let go of. They need you to be there so they can insult you, all over again. You will be their next free meal - their negative supply. After a number of cycles, when you see it for the pattern of abuse that it really is, you dump them, for good. Now, the shoe is on the other foot. You are finally in the driver’s seat. The outrage they display is a dead giveaway of a complete absence of love.
All you see is their disappointment and frustration, because now they have to look for their next source of negative supply. This is when you realize there was never any point in trying to love this individual, that it was only a war of win and lose. The end finally comes when you decide. And the next time they try to hoover you back again looking so nice and friendly you’re not going to be fooled. You will see that it’s just be the beginning of the next endless cycle.
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Well, one of three things depending on which type of narcissist and how your relationship ended.
One wants you to remain a good, sniveling, dependent back up supply. They keep stringing you along in a never ending cycle of hoovering and discarding. I have seen this go on for years. You are being used for sex on the side, a place to run to when the current supply falls through, money, wifi, whatever. If this is you, stop it 🛑. It is just like a drug addiction. It ruins your life. Get help to escape this cycle, at this point you can't do it alone without support. Get. Help.
The second one wants you to go away. You have demonstrated strength and backbone and they want nothing to do with you. You have maybe dealt them a narcissist injury and their ego won't risk another hit. You might hear from them in a narcissist collapse, even years later as they desperately flail about for help. Their behavior will find no sympathy. They don't call back.
The third, is dangerous. You are dealing with a psychopath. A violent malignant narcissist. They are capable of violence, even murder. I have heard of them burning down your house with you in it, sabotage to your car, poison, hiring killers, etc. Narcissist rage can be dangerous because they feel no remorse or compassion.
Bottom line, they don't wish you the best, do they?
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Sounds extreme, but since they don’t want you, don’t want anyone else to have you either, and have nothing but hate and contempt for you for reminding them that there are people out there who not only have all the qualities that they lack, but actually possess them at a kicked-up level, they’d prefer to see you dead.
That way you, and all your enviable qualities will just cease to exist, and then they don’t have to worry about someone else getting to reap the benefits of what you have to offer, the benefits they themselves wish they could appreciate, but just can’t bring themselves not to resent you for.
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At the end a narcissist wants to break your spirit.
Once they do.
That's when they feel like they are in control.
A narcissist wants you available.
Even when they move on.
They want you to suffer.
A narcissist never wants to be discovered because of these facts!.
So, a narcissist will gaslight you.
A narcissist will destroy your reputation.
Be prepared for future relationships sabotaged by the narcissist
They don’t want you.
The narcissist doesn't want anyone to want you!!
But you are wanted.
That's why the narcissist wants you to be they're end game.
The narcissist thinks that you are property!
This is how evil the narcissist is at the end!
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-want-to-happen-to-you-at-the-end
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Why does my narcissist never believe me?
My guess is that’s because they believe everyone behaves and reacts in the exact same manner as they do. They won’t believe what you say, probably because they already believe that you won’t believe what they say either. It’s a no-win situation of course, but it’s also one more reason why I simply cannot association with such people either…it’s just too much work.
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This is crazy, right?
We're the ones telling the truth, they're the pathological liars, yet they believe nothing we say.
Here’s why in my opinion:
Because they lie constantly, they assume their partner is also lying!!!
They know what kind of shite they do behind our backs, and even in front of us.
Because they know they aren't worthy of truths, (honesty), and because they constantly lie, they think everyone else is a liar too.
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Because it keeps us apologizing. It's another way of controlling a situation. They know that you are right and genuinely sorry, but it's their way of punishing you.
I can remember that i used to apologize constantly for stuff that my ex wife did. Welcome to abuse ….
They don't want to improve the situation. They want control.
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Because they're untrustworthy. They lie, about anything and everything. My N-parents would constantly tell me how much they hate liars, and my N-mother would sneer at me “how can I trust you? You're probably lying right now. I'm going to watch you like a hawk.” They project their bad traits onto their children, especially the scapegoat. They accused me of lying and not being trustworthy because they're liars and can't be trusted.
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The aim is to make it seem like you are emotionally unstable until they have actually broken you down enough that you are … When you seem unstable and crazy … it becomes easier for them to manipulate you and damage your reputation with others…
The end game is to be able to discard you for a fresh source with the mantle of a victorious victim with one or more willing victims ready to become their new source.
They might actually believe you and hate you for it… if this is the case they will become aggerated and proclaim your truth as lies with even more conviction.
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When you are dealing with a narcissist, they are looking at you as though you are only trying to convince them of something as they do other people. They are not seeing what you are telling them as the truth because it does not match up to what they would be seeing or thinking in your situation. You have someone that is only seeing things from their perspective. This is where the grandiosity is the paranoid personality disorder and the worlds best actor has all the information that you do not. They are seeing it as believing you would make about as much sense as believing what they are saying to you or other people.
This person is factoring in their views of the situation plus how they are seeing you as someone that is taking things too far. This is someone that would expect you to be lying. It really depends on what it is specifically that you are talking about. This is causing for the person to doubt your ability to know what the truth actually is. They tend to believe that someone is imagining things and this is not the most comfortable situation to be in.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-my-narcissist-never-believe-me
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Why It’s So Difficult To Communicate With A Narcissist?
Because of their personality structure and relational paradigm, a narcissist makes communicating with them feel like a treacherous, uphill climb — or even downright impossible.
In a personal relationship, healthy communication involves the following elements:
Open-Heartedness: When speaking with someone, you should welcome their emotional experience into your heart, empathising with and truly absorbing the experience they are conveying through their words.
Shared Humanity: Through channeling empathy and allowing space for the other person to express authentically, you find opportunities to share in their humanity. Good communication involves deep attention paired with emotional attunement. Sometimes it involves simply sitting with the other person’s heavy emotions for a moment. Other times it means taking delight in the other person’s experience and being happy for them without needing validation.
Mutuality: Nobody dominates the floor. Each person is afforded the emotional space and attention to share, yet possesses the emotional intelligence to know when to stop and invite the other person to contribute. Ultimately, this achieves far more than balancing who gets to speak. By allowing the other person to contribute, your perspective is enriched, which awakens new insights and ideas, which then feeds into the other person when their turn comes. This form of synergy spirals upwards, creating a bountiful exchange which evolves each person’s way of thinking, widens their perspective, and enriches their soul.
Clarity of Intention: Healthy communication comes without hidden agendas. There is no subtext. Both parties are clear on why they are communicating. Above all, the communication must serve both parties, not just one. For example, the communication can be about resolving a conflict, debating or exploring a philosophical idea, deepening the bond or simply passing time. Regardless of the intention, clarity and integrity is key.
Now let’s look at these four elements when communicating with a narcissist:
Open-Heartedness: A narcissist’s heart is shut tight. Whenever you try to express an emotional experience to them, that tightness grows unbearable. The narcissist’s soul is saturated with trauma, and the more emotional resonance you ask of them, the more discomfort they experience. The narcissist usually responds by interrupting you and swiftly turning the attention back onto themselves. Otherwise, they dismiss, ridicule or downplay what you are saying, aiming to sabotage and short-circuit the emotional depth of your communication.
Shared Humanity: Humanity threatens the narcissist’s ego, as it forces them to sink into their body and soul, which is where their trauma lies. The narcissist does seek out common threads between you both, however, this is purely a jump-off point for them to switch the focus of the conversation back onto them. For example, if you express that you had a difficult day at work, rather than attuning to your emotions and providing you space, the narcissist might nod and abruptly declare how it has been a terrible week for them also, and then carry on from there, leaving you hanging and blocked in your expression as shame washes over you.
Mutuality: A conversation with a narcissist is always lopsided. A narcissist will typically avoid the need for open-heartedness by engaging you in a monologue. A narcissist may also attack you with a machine-gun-level assault of words, forcing you to listen intently while trying to squeeze in your contribution. If you manage to wrestle back the stage, the narcissist will pay close attention, but only to find a gap where they can wrestle the control back.
Clarity of Intention: A narcissist’s default intention is to gain narcissistic supply. They will entertain your intention to exchange ideas, deepen the bond or resolve conflict, but this is pure theatre. The narcissist looks only to lure you into providing them with adulation and emotional energy, without them having to give much in return. This mismatch in intention is what makes a communication with a narcissist feel frustrating and ‘off’. Often you walk away from a conversation with a narcissist with an uneasy sense of sadness and betrayal. Of having been used.
Furthermore, a narcissist may be undergoing some form of emotional pain. Perhaps they have been triggered by someone or something, are having a bad day, or feels offended by something you did. In this case, the intention behind their communication may be either to punish you, or to covertly syphon their negative emotions into you. In this case, they will use subtext to achieve their goal.
The narcissist’s false self is the gatekeeper of their empty soul, controlling what gets in and what doesn’t. Gripped by repressed childhood trauma, the narcissist is forever vigilant, scanning for any hint of you creating authentic feelings in them, which might expose them to their vulnerability.
Instead, the narcissist analyses and categorises all communication to ensure it is sanitised and limited while providing jump-off points for them to hijack the interaction, before weaponizing their words to syphon narcissistic supply from you.
https://jhsimon.substack.com/p/why-its-so-difficult-to-communicate?utm_source=post-email-title&publication_id=2149701&post_id=148438947&utm_campaign=email-post-title&isFreemail=true&r=2cvtjz&triedRedirect=true&utm_medium=email
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What is the best way to deal with a covert narcissist?
Keep everything to yourself. Do not divulge any personal information. Lie about your life and tell them you're having a difficult time. Be completely vague.
Act like you're a failure. Act sad. When you act this way they won't try their manipulations on you as much. You feeling bad makes them feel good and like they don't have to make you feel bad because you already do. Remember this, narcissists feel much better when you feel bad.
Agree with all the terrible things they say about others. This makes them feel you are on their side. This will keep them from triangulating you with other people.
Be completely stoic. Never react emotionally to anything they say, NOT EVER.
If they devalue you or belittle you just make believe like you never heard them say anything. Never directly confront a narcissist and especially a covert narcissist. If you directly confront one of these people they will put you in an early grave.
Do not bring up the news or a negative topic. If you do they will grab onto this like it's a nugget of gold. Then they'll get you and the rest of the group emotionally entwined and make everybody upset in the process. They love to watch you get emotionally involved in trivial things. It gives them a sense of absolute power. And if somebody else brings up the news or another topic, just listen and don't say anything. Or of course if they directly ask you just agree with them on everything they say.
Do not put up boundaries. If you hear somebody tell you that you need to put up boundaries with the narcissist they don't really have much experience with narcissists. If you have to deal with one you deal with one in a way that is completely indirect. The time you put up boundaries is if you noticed that the person is a covert narcissist and then you can completely avoid them if at all possible. Never ever directly talk to a narcissist about issues you have with them as they will make sure to destroy you. And this makes no difference if you’re family, husband, wife, relative..etc.
The absolute best way to deal with a covert narcissist is to not deal with them at all.
You spot them and then you know how to act around them if you absolutely have to be around this person.
And then you make sure that you keep them at an arm's distance or completely out of your life if at all possible.
Remember, the best way to deal with the narcissist is to cut them out of your life.
There's nothing you can do or say that's going to make any difference.
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I also have to put up with the antics of a covert. In short there is NO dealing with a covert. The believe they are entitled, and don’t even discuss the word ‘fair’, they have no knowledge of the concept. Fair is what they want, you are only an annoyance.
In all stages of a relationship , business or personal, your only way of protecting yourself is to keep information. Keep emails, messages, pictures, even video. Document, document, document. Assume every aspect may be decided by a judge.
They are the perpetual victim. You will be the abuser. That is a fact! Picture yourself lying on the ground, them with their foot on your head claiming you are abusing their foot by trying to get up.
You have to be able to prove every claim you make. Undeniable proof. They will not accept it, but someone in authority ( judge, boss, friend) will have to.
Oh and they will try to justify or deny your proof actually happened, even though it might be that indisputable. Their self defense is to be/play the victim, that is what they do.
And watch out for their ‘flying monkey’s’ ( friends, family, followers that will do the coverts dirty work for them, so they can remain that innocent victim) Coverts always seem to have a flock around somewhere.
Good luck, you're going to need it.
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There is no best way to live with a covert narcissist. There is no best way to live with any narcissist.
If you don’t mind becoming a shadow of your former self, being dismissed, diminished, marginalized, abused, ignored, mistreated, demeaned, devalued, confused, unloved, unappreciated, and used in every way the narcissist can conceive of, then you will be able to exist with them.
However, it won’t be living…not by a long shot.
They will constantly be vying for the upper hand in everything. They will maneuver and scheme to gain control and dominate you. They will do this at your expense. You will always be paying and they will always be stealing something of great value to you (your identity, your career, your time, your talents, your relationships, etc.) and from you in order to maintain any kind of relationship with them.
A narcissist really doesn’t care what it costs you to be in a relationship with them. They don’t even care if it costs you your life.
It’s just not worth the effort and investment. You will come up on the short end of the stick and leave with less than what you started with.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-covert-narcissist
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How should you react to a covert narcissist’s attempt to devalue you?
Depending on what the criticism is, one of the facet’s of grey rock can be just to agree with their criticism and then keep being you, which is quite effectively indicating you couldn’t care less about what they think of you. However, don’t stick around; kick that evil less than sh!t to the curb.
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Don’t own it when they start to devalue, Don’t make it real for them by defending yourself. A lot of what you are being devalued for are traits the narcissist has but they are attempting to transfer and externalize it by placing it on you.
Don’t own it. Whether your are being subjected to projection or the narcissist has just found something that he or she uses against you that assures them of a emotional response Don’t waste your time defending your self. Do not get emotional.
When the devaluing starts, stay calm don’t let the narcissist fluster you. For one thing they can feed off your emotional responses and feel superior for screwing with your emotions with their words. So Stay grey rock, no show of emotion.
Send it back to them with statements like “You must truly believe that about me, And I and ok with that.” or “Believe what you want about me you are entitled to your opinion, it does not affect me.” and “You paint me to be such a bad person we will just have to agree to disagree I really have no reaction to you statements.”
Arguing, defending yourself, getting upset just plays into their hand. As soon as you get emotional they get what they wanted. Getting upset gives them a win.
Get emotional you own it. Defend yourself you own it. Don’t own it.
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Short answer: You shouldn’t. They are looking for a reaction. Don’t give it to them. Walk away, both literally and figuratively. Giving them a reaction is feeding their narcissistic supply. Walk away from their manipulations, then do yourself the ultimate favor by walking away from them for good. You won’t regret doing it, but you sure as hell WILL regret not doing it!
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Reacting to a covert narcissist’s attempts to devalue you can be challenging. Here are some strategies to consider:
Stay Calm and Composed: Maintain your emotional control. Covert narcissists often thrive on emotional reactions, so staying calm can diminish their power.
Set Boundaries: Clearly define what behaviors you will and will not tolerate. Communicate these boundaries assertively, and stick to them.
Don’t Take It Personally: Understand that their devaluation is more about their insecurities than your worth. Remind yourself of your value and self-worth.
Limit Engagement: If possible, reduce your interactions with the covert narcissist. This can help minimize their influence on your emotional state.
Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends or a therapist about your experiences. They can provide validation and help you process your feelings.
Document Incidents: Keeping a record of their behavior can help you recognize patterns and validate your experiences, especially if you need to confront them or seek external help.
Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and mental health. Surround yourself with positive influences and nurturing relationships.
Consider Professional Help: If the situation becomes overwhelming, consulting a mental health professional can provide you with strategies tailored to your specific circumstances.
By focusing on your well-being and maintaining your boundaries, you can protect yourself from the negative impacts of a covert narcissist’s behavior.
https://www.quora.com/How-should-you-react-to-a-covert-narcissist-s-attempt-to-devalue-you
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What will happen when you call a covert narcissist out?
You waste more of your time talking to a wretched being, who will never reach their full potential, or anywhere near it.
Instead, this creature will live a miserable, grasping, hateful little life,
always fixated on what other people have,and what they don't.
There's no room for truth, beauty, humility, awe, or any of the emotions that make life worthy of living, there's no time in their mean spirited existence to achieve anything lasting of any value (they're great at starting wars though).
But you, you can live a worthy life, a deep life, where you live fully, honestly, and completely. You can experience real and profound emotions, instead of faking all the time just so that you get your way.
You'd do better talking to yourself instead. Here's a good conversation starter —
Why am I so desperate to have a deep conversation with someone incredibly superficial?
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They will make your life hell. They will have a meltdown if you unmask them in the presence of someone else.
They are experts at turning the tables and suddenly they are the victim. That puts you in the abuser's position.
The covert narcissist will go on about their task of ruining you and your reputation. They make up lies, stories, and every crazy thing they can think of to win attention and sympathy for themselves while making you out the villain #1. They will accuse you of causing all the ills in their life. Of causing them so much emotional upset and pain.
They will accuse you of saying and doing things to them that exists only in their head. Separating you from your family and loved ones is one of their favorite tactics. By isolating you from your loved ones their lies go on and people are manipulated against you.
Finally, they will toss you to the curb. Their motive all along is to cause you pain and anguish. Mission accomplished.
They may try to win you back. Don’t be fooled. A covert narcissist only gets worse with time.
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You should hide.... The covert narcissist is a vindictive, horrible person who will blacken your name thoroughly to anyone and everyone. They will make completely sure that nobody believes anything you say by telling everyone the worst things about you....
Anything horrible you heard from them about previous partners, that is now what they say about you. They will play the victim BIG TIME.... No point fighting it.. those who know you will know it's not true, those who know them for being the perfect human being they show the outside world, will, I'm afraid, believe them ... Just leave them to it.
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Oh boy!
You're getting the courage to stand up against the one behind the mask. It seems like you see right through all the magic plus the razzle dazzle huh. Well, there's two things that are going to happen, yet requires strength from within to survive.
These two weapons are used like the backup gun in the narcs pocket. They have been successful in the past, but you can't be the checkmark of the next success. You ready?
Silent treatment: Now this happens after you confront the narc or call them out. You didn't submit or bend to their words like you used to. You said somethings that truly hurt their image and you're showing your no longer impressed. It seems to me that you don't feel the same about them and they annoy you actually.
So, after you have this huge clash. “You think I did it! I really called them out and shattered the b.s image!” while in your victory the wounded narc will glare and withdraw themselves. Not because they lost but to recover for their return. Now this is the “silent treatment” In in which will feel like a dry spell.
You won't get the usual texts or hoovering; you may get one final one. Then after that it will get so quiet, too quiet. Yet don't fret this is part of the narcs game to break you! They think by them withdrawing themselves your life is going to suck. even though you have been the greatest thing to them they will try to reflect that. They already have a low expectation of you and see that your love is because of them.
You love them because you know they're the grand prize. Honey, listen you're the grand prize but they don't want you to know that. Why? Without you they would be a “dust ball” in the wind or just “forgotten trash.”
Why do they use it? :(This is to break you and make you reach out to them. Begging for them to forgive you and you can help nurse their ego back to health. Running to them and telling them how awful it was without them. NOPE! IDC if your body is craving them like hunger, don't submit to them! Don't inflate those hot air balloons. Once you do, they will get worse and worse! Anything that comes in your mind even if thinking they're fooling around.
That is what the narc wants you to think, anything to make you emotionally reactive. They want you to be emotional and weak so they can make a mess out of you. They see you are a strong person, and they envy that. SO, they withdraw themselves to hurt you and make you feel their absence. This is where strength comes in! Because you have to fight fire with fire and say NO NOT ANYMORE! Think of you playing” stare contest with the narc.” Who's going to blink?
Smear campaign: No matter how good you were to them you're not good anymore once you take a stand. Yet if you call them out, they have to have some type of reason why you did this. even though your reasoning may be different, but they will spin it. Spin it for their little dummy supporters to not scowl and question them.
They will run your name down and the dirt and may even call you crazy. Playing you as this “Stupid lovesick puppy” never mentioning the damage they done. Acting as if they cut you off! They're going to make it seem they're this poor victim who fell for a toxic person. Now you have to be strong here because you may get feedback or hear it direct. Don't respond nor look for a fight, you can stand if approached. Defend your ground but don't keep at it, that can backfire on you. After this you be silent, then eventually the narc will look like a liar.
How to beat them at their game?: SILENCE! Once you grow quiet there’s no wood adding to the fire! Soon his followers may be like “Hey? Are you sure you were as great as you are?” Why isn't she begging for you?” “Are you sure she called you 200 times day…she's awfully quiet?” your silence will make them sweat. They may play along and try to mimic you but soon that act will crack! Remember, they're masters at reflecting and mirroring, so why not!?”
You have to be strong because there will be those who will pick sides. Even those who you favor or have greater ties with might side with the narc. You cannot crack or try to state your case, let them be..sooner or later they're going to see.
I hope this helps and Good for you for calling the narc out! I'm so proud of you! Stay strong!
-May the odds forever be in your favor
https://www.quora.com/What-will-happen-when-you-call-a-covert-narcissist-out
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Do narcissists like to
think they can scare you?
Yes they do. They take you for granted. They think you'll always be there but you're not going to be there. The problem is you will become numb to it. To them. You'll grow indifferent. You'll get so used to worrying that you'll end up worrying yourself right out of the situation. They just don't seem to care. And they don't. You'll have to soothe yourself. You may need to walk away from him or her. Forever.
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Yes and you should be scared. A human being with no empathy is the scariest creature on the planet. How far will they go? That’s to be determined. What are they capable of? Anything that they can get away with.
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Absolutely they love your anxiety and worry. If you have anxieties about something going wrong, they will damn sure make it go wrong if it doesn’t affect them, whatever you ask them not to do, they will do it. I always remember my ex Narc telling me that he was £50000 in debt and it could affect our home, I was absolutely shocked and I fell to my knees sobbing, he stood over me for a while, then he said he was only joking, he laughed and said that it was hilarious watching me on my knees. Who does that to someone they care about? Well they don’t care, the more pain and heartache they can cause you, the happier they are.
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Fear is always part of the relationship. The narcissist knows the precise recipe how to create fear. And put it into you.
The cunningness of the narcissist is preternatural. When I look back at my relationship with the narcissist, I know that I feared him. Especially during the rage episodes.
Something inside used to tell me, beware this person has no self control. They also have a talent how to make you feel you are walking on eggshells as each minute you may risk a devaluation or a rage.
Today that I know that they are linked to the prince of darkness, I cannot blame any victim for being hooked to these evil people. None of us had any awareness of their deal with the devil.
And they act so very brilliantly that their acting can easily be taken as the truth.
So if you were a victim to these evil people, do not be hard on yourself. Every single human being can fall for a narcissist. Yes narcissists are that good at duping anyone. Especially the more intelligent ones who are so covert in their abusive ways.
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Everything with a narcissist is purposeful. They are master manipulators and total control freaks. The best way to control people is by preying upon their insecurities and finding subtle ways to wither away their self-esteem. The longer you remain in a narcissist’s grasp, the more this becomes your normal and you find yourself unable to escape. They make you dependent upon them.
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Everything they do is on purpose. So making you worry is just another way to manipulate. They need a reaction. Period. Any reaction will do as long as it's on their command. Happiness, sadness, anger, worry, they don't care which one. Spin the wheel and whatever it lands on will be the flavor of the day.
Some days they will let you be happy. Most days they won't. But no matter what the wheel lands on please know that they do this on purpose and are in full control of their facilities. They know exactly what they're doing to you.
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They love controlling your emotion with words. It makes them feel important. Also makes them feel superior to you. You probably picked up on that.
Yes it empowers them knowing you are thinking about them. In positive and negative ways, it's all good, love them or hate them as long as they're the focus of your attention.
Your worried so what? It does not bother them to cause you pain and anguish. Might even be their goal. Prolly is.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-like-to-think-they-can-scare-you
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Why are narcissists telling
lies all the time?
I´ll list some narcissist truths, and check your reaction, then you´ll see why they lie.
I will never love you. I will say I do, and, only at the beginning, act like it- but it won't last, and as soon as you commit to me I will remove my mask of niceness and start treating you badly.
I will cheat on you, on a scale you'll find astounding.
I will eventually control everything you do and say, everything you wear, and how you look. If you defy me, I will punish you.
I will isolate you from your family and friends, and keep you short of money, so you have nowhere to go when I start to abuse you.
I will destroy your self esteem, so that your escape is less likely- eventually you will be terrified to leave me.
No one will believe that I abuse you, because I will keep my mask on with everyone else- only you will see the real nasty, me.
Please accept that you will be my punchbag for all my disappointments and frustrations and those will be many, because I am not nearly as clever or successful or ambitious as I have made you think.
Now do you see it? If they told them this at the commencement of the relationship, their prospective partners would run a mile.
So they lie, and use a whole bag of tricks to confuse and upset, so that it takes a long time to work out that something is very wrong.
That is why everyone should read about narcissism. Then they can look out for the lies, and spot the tricks, and get away before the real damage is done.
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They know they are lying. What ever displays them in the best possible light will be said. Blame will be shifted, faults hidden, cars will get better gas mileage, fish will be bigger and on and on.
It's nice when you get one that can keep track of their lies so you don't have to call them on it and listen to them lie again and deny it over and over.
I will taint this answer with a additional paragraph and contradict myself, as a example of cognitive dissonance, two separate thoughts or beliefs that contradict each other. Now the narcissists have to remain pure as the driven snow, any mar in that perfection and there is only one option for them, black as coal. Let me explain simply, all good or all bad, all white or all black, no shades of grey, full of themselves or swimming in self hate and loathing.
There’s a sh!t load of stuff all wrong with that.
The truth is they lie to themselves and believe it. They can say something else that contradicts that in five minutes and believe that. It’s the only way the twisted up ball full of conflicting ever changing enigmas wrapped in parodies forever changing to try to maintain as much equilibrium as they can manage.
Now lets try to get some consistency and end these inconsistent statements. Some of their self believed lies will boil out, can’t be helped. But when you catch him or her with their hands up to their elbow in somebody else’s panties or briefs, and they try to convince you your seeing things, they know they are being deceptive.
Before you jump up and point out hey, their lying and they know they are lying how come they are not turning coal black? They can grease up a battleship and pass it thru so this ones easy. They are entitled to lie to get what they want, so it’s not a flaw.
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Yes, they lie about lying too. They lie to themselves - self-denial, they lie to others to shift blame, to get what they want or to continue wearing a false mask.
There is no way they can keep that idealised perfect image of themselves in their heads without lying.
The tricky part is they will bend over backwards to play the victim and have a thousand sob stories, they are willing to use their vulnerabilities to Illicit your empathy so they get what they want, what else.
Even if it’s based on the truth, they refuse to take responsibility for their lives or at least contain their resentment and hatred to the people who did them harm not others. No, they think the entire world owes them now, to compensate for the few legitimate people who harmed them, they now need the whole world to bend over backwards to provide special treatment no one else gets. As they abuse more people down the line.
The thing is their willingness to use sacred stories of precious vulnerabilities close to our hearts, stories we would never abuse to elicit empathy but share as a genuine way to connect, advocate or educate, takes a narcissistic twist.
It’s jarring, it’s sad, it’s disgusting and it’s knowing and sickening.
It’s as equally jarring that people believe them, people believe they are merely comfortable with their vulnerabilities which is a good thing in general or they are so disordered, they cannot conceive any plans when their plans are so long reaching and diabolic, it will hit you like a ton of bricks when you know.
There are covert narcissists who play the victim, chronic victim mentality, always self-pity. I’m trying so hard, it’s really so tough. Who the hell isn’t trying so hard? It’s real that it’s tough to them, the twist is it’s tough because they have an inflated sense of self, grandiose thinking and huge egos so it’s tough for them because they deserve so much more than others so it’s magnified in their heads, the suffering.
The thing is when they express it, they really believe it. They really do, that’s because they deserve much much more than you or anyone else. Not because they really had it worse than you.
While you’re empathising with them, they are busy empathising with themselves. You do not exist.
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Wow. Feeling serious deja vu here, being visited by the Ghost of Disordered Person Past.
I heard this exact same projection/ accusation. The disordered person deflects and flings off anything that is the most damaged part of themselves onto you. They try to make you the embodiment of everything wrong with them. Then, after that, they discard you because they cannot stand their own reflection staring back at them.
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To Narcissists, Lying Is A Necessity. Here are some reasons why they lie:
1. They lie in order to make you feel something.
All of it is around manipulation. When they want to make you feel something, it's so that they can make you do something, believe something, and they can have their way. They can keep you pumping them up.
So, a lot of different things that a narcissist wants you to feel at different times: they want you to feel like they are amazing, they want you to feel stupid, they want you to feel less than, they want you to feel scared of them, they want you to feel bullied, they want you to sometimes feel loved and special—all of that. Then, they want you to trust them. They want to make you feel something, so they lie constantly to do that. They are creating this control of your emotions, in essence.
2. They want you to do something.
With all of that feeling that they've created, they then want you to do something with that. They want you to do whatever they want you to do. They want you to feel scared, they want you to feel sorry for them, they want you to then take all that emotion and placate them, entertain them, puff up their ego, or make them feel better when they feel down.
They want you to literally lie for them, go to bat for them—lots of different things. It's all around manipulation, puffing them up, taking care of them, and not needing anything for yourself.
3. They also want you to buy into their creation of their image.
This is really interesting—they lie throughout their lives in different ways to create different images for different people. They want to create a certain image for you, but then they also create a completely different image out in the world. They might have one image at work, one image at the social club, one image online, and another image with other people.
When you meet somebody, that's why I always say get to know them in different settings with different people who have known them throughout their lives or in different ways so that you have a broad perspective on who they are and what they're about. They can't keep all these lies going in different settings. When you see a person who doesn't have a consistent sense of self across settings, you know there's a problem.
https://www.quora.com/unanswered/Why-are-narcissists-telling-lies-all-the-time-Are-they-aware-of-their-lies-or-is-it-a-part-of-their-delusional-way-of-growing-up
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Narcissists Believe They Are The Victim
@ronaldculley
2 months ago
Damaged goods.
https://www.youtube.com/live/4bIJmEC-zHA?t=541s
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Why so many victims of narcissistic abuse commit suicide?
Because they make their victim seriously want to die (from all the abuse and mind f*cking). They are Pure Evil/ Demonic. The victim feels like they are worthless and of no good to anyone (what they've been told by the narc) They feel death couldn't be any worse than it is right now.
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Cognitive dissonance
Having someone so close as a friend and lover one day and being discarded the next is worse than experiencing a death.
The pain upon realizing that all of the love was fake is too much to handle.
Having to shoulder the blame for the failed relationship while the narc acts as the victim is too much.
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Narcs are the worst abusers. Their numerous mind twisting games and tactics are to the extreme. If a victim does not know that the person she/he is being abused by has NPD, she may tend to blame herself and suffer from poor self esteem. The victim doesn’t know that the person (NPD) created a false self that will drive her crazy.
These unaware victims can blame themselves, as the NPD tries to convince the victim that they are the ones to blame for everything. Narcs also gaslight in order to try and make their victim question their own reality.
Even when victims have figured out that they are entangled with an NPD, many will suffer a lot of disbelief, confusion, depression, anxiety, PTSD, anger, resentment, etc. Victims can get hooked to the narc through trauma bonds. It is like getting hooked on drugs. They can have a lot of cognitive dissonance about the relationship.
Their logical mind tells them one thing and their heart tells them another. This causes a lot of internal confusion. It Is extremely hard to leave NPD abusers. That makes a victim feel even more distress, as they feel embarrassed and weak for not leaving. They don’t know why they can’t just leave.
Victims can’t wrap their heads around the idea that they got themselves into this, and they can’t believe how the narc could dish out such insane abuse and behaviors to the smartest, strongest, nicest person. How could the Narc be crazy about you for a short time, then they bully you, control you, and create unnecessary conflicts on purpose, and when they are done with you, they leave or you leave them.
It is so unbelievable. Narcs try to destroy people in every way, and they use up the victims resources. After all of this, they have no remorse, Some narcs rage like a devil for hours. They hold innocent people as prisoners of their disorder. They often blackmail people into staying with them. Narcs falsely blame others for their dirty deeds. This is enough to send some victims over the edge. Many victims/survivors suffer from emotional, psychological and physical problems due to the NPD/s in their life.
For me personally, I have mainly dealt with a lot of cognitive dissonance. I have not suffered from depression, PTSD, anxiety, etc. because I am a very strong person with a strong self esteem, and self awareness.
I always knew that the problems were within my NPD partners all along, even before I started doing all of my intense research on what was going on and my discovery that they had NPD. My research started 3 months after I started dating Narc #2. I have been with 3, for a total of 10 years.
I have often thought, if I wasn’t the person I am, I don’t think that I could have endured all of this. What happens to those who are not as self aware, or unaware of NPD, or who are not strong enough to take all of this? I understand how defeated a person can feel. I understand how isolated and lonely they feel.
I understand the injustice they suffered. Victims feel very alone within the NPD relationship, as well as for a long time after the relationship has ended. I understand how the victim can feel like they have been fooled and trapped. I understand the fear of meeting another NPD and falling for them. Many victims go through this more than one time. The victim is so stripped down by the perpetrator/s that she feels as if her life may never be normal again.
At some point, victims come to realize that because they have good traits that predators seek, that they will need to be on guard, put up stronger boundaries, be more vigilant in looking for NPD traits in people they meet, etc., in order to avoid being ensnared again in the future.
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If a person has spent their life(from birth forward) in any number of relationships of this type and at some point has a breakthrough or realization that this has been their life’s history, the potential becomes heightened. If the breakthrough/realization occurs late in life and repeated attempts to extract themselves from the abusive relationship(s) fail, I can see hopelessness and despair taking hold and that option of escape becoming a reality.
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To my mind, a victim of narcissistic abuse has the following options:
1) Exit the relationship - please act like a statue and allow the grand narcy the honor to discard you to avoid narcissistic injury.
2) The narcissist makes the final discard.
3) Finish in a mental institution.
4) Suicide.
All four consequences are gross, especially 3 and 4. The healthiest option is 1 but I fully understand that a victim may not have the willpower to exit the relationship.
The final discard is gross when considering that despite the fact that the victim would be ready to appease the abuser, but still gets discarded. This automatically triggers a trauma in the human being but we need to understand that many a time we may adore someone but that someone may not want us in his life.
I have read many a story here on Quora and many relate to victims finishing with mental problems or resort to suicide.
If you stop and think, it is actually the narcissist that should finish in a mental institution or commit suicide, and not the once healthy victims. Because they are ultimately not mentally stable and full of rage.
Why resort to suicide?
If the victim is completely isolated from her own family and so feels completely alone - what are her thoughts when there is no help from anywhere? Are help line attendants well trained to understand narcissistic abuse?
If the narcissist is obsessed with destroying you, should we be surprised that the victim has suicidal thoughts? This obsession may last years not months!
At times narcissists are so insidious that they convince others to hit at you too concurrently. So the poor victim does not in fact have to deal with one enemy at a time but various different ones at the same time. This to any normal human being can cause too much stress.
The children of narcissists, in my opinion are given too much of a disadvantage in life.
This is much worse than coming into this world as an orphan. They faced the ultimate betrayal.
Adopted children - yes of course the narcissist - especially females adopt even children to use and abuse. I hope the authorities address this issue.
Not everyone has a strong character. Not everyone is capable of saying no more, you moron!
Some may be too trauma bonded to do anything about their situation. Here I recall the mass suicides inside cults.
Conclusion: Yes there are too many suicide victims due to narcissistic abuse simply because narcissists know exactly how and when they should lead a victim to desperation.
Because that was the main aim at the beginning of the day. Their inner toxicity is transferred to us normal human beings and because they took our healthy emotions, it is very easy to give up on life when we are subjected to their abuse, sometimes lasting years.
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We are scared of ghosts but in reality, as soon as you encounter a narcissist, you realise the ghost is among us only and they have been among us the whole time. Messed up human beings make this world hard to survive.
They make you feel useless and unworthy which can make you think that something is wrong with you. All these traumas make you feel helpless and leads to taking up your own life. You lose your hopes and dreams. All you feel is darkness and sadness all around.
https://www.quora.com/Why-so-many-victims-of-narcissistic-abuse-commit-suicide
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In their minds, they are "doing you a favour", no matter how awful the abuse they can inflict you. They own you.
Narcissists don't believe in humans' rights but their rights.
Narcissism and a
Lack of Gratitude
Narcissistic people are notorious for being difficult to please. No matter what others do for them it’s never enough. This video looks at the constant dissatisfaction, ingratitude and discontentment of both Grandiose and Covert narcissists, some of the reasons behind it and the different ways they express it.
@RealRabbit1124
2 hours ago
I’ve been dealing with a severe narcissist.
She does not say thank you, never says she’s sorry.
She lacks empathy, remorse, morals…
She has a severe case.
I won’t go into details.. but it’s been a complete nightmare.
She thinks I am supposed to be her perfect little boyfriend, but give nothing in return, and does not have the decency to treat me like an appropriate woman should.
She literally thinks she owns my life, and I am her slave.
@stevehartwell1861
2 hours ago
Entitlement
@mildredbangtree
1 hour ago
Never pleased?! They please themselves all of the time!
@copacetictranquillam8154
2 hours ago
there are certain religions that churn out narcissists, by telling their followers that they're better than everyone else..... admit it, you can name one, can't you !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=feZWs4gvzmc
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:badfinger:
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What hurts a narcissist forever?
Confronting their abusive behavior or holding them accountable for their actions. Narcissists don't like to be held accountable and responsible.
When narcissists feel like they are losing control of people or situations. Narcissists don't want to lose control, power, and authority over people. For narcissists, having control is everything.
Narcissists get angry and hurt if you are not responding to their gaslighting and manipulation.
When someone for any reason threatens their ego. Narcissists have fragile egos.
Narcissists are hurt if you are not affected by their rage and ignore them. Narcissists don't like when they can't get your reaction.
When you stick to morals and don't follow and support their wrong doings.
Criticizing them in any way. Narcissists can't handle criticism.
Narcissists have a fear of being exposed. Narcissists want to maintain masks at all costs.
When you point out narcissists mistakes and wrongdoings, it hurts their ego.
When narcissists are not getting narcissistic supply, they fear being left with no supply.
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Their own mental hell. They know they are nothing. They know they have never succeeded in anything, nor will they.
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Narcissists spend a lifetime avoiding shame…the feelings of being irrelevant, unimportant, not wanting to be left-out and being seen as weak & needing and this is why they need Validation & Admiration. This is also why they criticize, ridicule, belittle, devalue, mock, judge, devalue other people. Simply put, if they can make you feel bad and unimportant, then in their minds it makes them a Somebody…important, seen, heard, strong.
So how do you hurt a Narcissist forever. Make their worst nightmare come true. Don't react to them. Make them seen as unimportant, left-out of your life…don't react to their baits…don't give them Validation or Admiration. Show the Narcissists they don't matter to you…they mean nothing to you! Ignore them and their manipulative tactics. Is this easy? Nope! However, it is worth it. Sure, the Narcissist will go after you with fury and rage, but if you can hold on and not react…it tells them they mean nothing to you and you don't even have to say a word!
“If you tell a Narcissist he/she is an a-hole, then you are giving them ‘Narcissistic Fuel.’ If you tell a Narcissist you love them, then you are giving them ‘Narcissistic Fuel.’”
—H. G. Tudor
Give them nothing and they feel they are nothing! That is their worst nightmare!
Maybe it seems boring or like you are not doing much, but trust me, you are sending a loud and clear message to them. And that is, they mean nothing to you! This causes a huge Narcissistic Injury! It means they have lost complete control over you and they are left with their dark empty shell of themselves!
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A narcissist is going to age and develop health problems, and they will soon look into the mirror and see bits and pieces they don't recognize anymore. A wrinkle here. Now crow’s feet. Grey hair. Thinning hair. Harder to lose weight or keep muscle.
It is their secret Achilles’ Heel. Narcissists absolutely hate aging.
Once they hit 30, time flies and they’re no longer the “cool kids” they thought they were.
They also fear they are running out of time to be the best, to be famous, to be the “winner.” By age 30, everything gets a little harder, because there are only ten years between 30 and 40, and the narcissist wanted EVERYTHING by age 30.
They wanted to be rich and famous, with two houses and a vacation home in Big Bear, a doctorate in chemistry, and the most beautiful wife (or handsome husband) in the world. Oh, and of course, the Italian sportcars.
It never happened. So now they are 30, 35…approaching 40, and time has just flown by like the sand in an hourglass or through your fingers.
And if any of the above happened at all, they’ve also had to settle. Not everyone gets a supermodel and an Italian sportscar. Most people don’t get any of that. They’ve had to settle for ordinary, and boy, that really does a number on them.
Most of us don't like aging of course, but almost every narcissist I have known has aged terribly and they associate aging with failure. Unlike most people who have respect for the winds of change, narcissists believe they are Greek Gods and Goddesses.
Narcissists are paralyzed by the fear of aging. I promise you.
Many of them who felt invincible also get ill. One malignant narcissist I know who would sleep with anyone (and I do mean anyone), now has diabetes and prostate issues. He's just not the same anymore.
Time changes everything. Even the "infallible" narcissist.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/What-hurts-a-narcissist-forever
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What are some signs of a
narcissist? RED Flags!
Extreme selfishness. Child like selfishness. Lack of empathy. Restlessness, volatility in moods, insatiable, more than a couple of dark vices, dishonest, without remorse, unable to apologize, unreasonable, very irresponsible, very, very shallow.
Empty conversations. Great sex but no passion. Highly competitive, jealous and envious. Your male narc will compete with you like another jealous female would. The female narc will be obviously insanely jealous.You will think she is ill. They are really weird and you can’t put your finger on it.
O yea, very empty eyes.
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They wanna spend every free minute you have with you.
At the same time they're telling you that they're not good relationship material, as in “I don't think I've ever loved someone” or “I don't easily commit.”
They don't respect your time, as in wanting to meet up with you when you can't or keeping you up at night.
They're flirtatious with others.
They used to have lot (money, successful business) or soon will have a lot.
They talk about marriage and babies.
They tell you they’ve never felt the way they're feeling with you.
They overshare, as in talking about their childhood on the second date.
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That’s an easy one. If they are not in a relationship when you meet them then they have just gotten out of one.
They most likely will tell you that they were the one who was wronged. They did nothing to deserve the way they were treated, they are always innocent. They are also very needy and will waste no time getting back involved with someone new. They will be very charming and just a little too good to be true. Take this as a sign to be cautious. They will use their charm to reel you in and before you know what happened they will convince you that you two were meant to be.
It will be great at first until they feel like they have you where they want you. The mental abuse will start subtly. Forgetting to tell you that they will be gone for the weekend. Not being emotionally available when you need them. Criticizing the little things that you do that annoy them. Making you feel guilty for something you did or didn’t do. They will also keep their lives secret from you.
They need to know everything you’re doing but their life is not an open book. Eventually they will devalue you. Nothing you do will be good enough. They will attack your personality, you’re cooking, you’re housekeeping, your family, you’re friends and even you’re dog. You will believe them at first and try hard to please them. But eventually you will fight back and when you do be ready for the rage. They will scream and act like a roaring lion for even daring to assert yourself towards them.
This is done to intimidate you and keep you in line. Don’t cry because tears mean nothing to them. They will laugh at you and tell you to shut up. You will go through the ups and downs of living with a narcissist. One day they will buy you flowers and tell you that they love you and the next time they will call you the worst names you can imagine and tell you that you are worthless. The emotional roller coaster will wear you out. No matter how hard you try not to upset them they will find a reason to destroy you for something that they perceive you did or did not do.
At first you will feel bad and try to fix everything. But you can’t fix someone who doesn’t think they are doing anything wrong. Soon you will become angry. That will only get you the raging and name calling treatment. Sometimes it can turn into physical abuse but you will learn quickly not to push that far. The narcissist is merciless and will do whatever he needs to win a fight. After the anger comes the depression. Then you will be criticized for being lazy and not taking care of their needs.
Eventually you will become an empty shell, not capable of making the decisions you need to make to save yourself. Hopefully you will find the strength to get away and find the person you were before you met them. In short beware of someone who has been in multiple relationships and always claims to be the innocent one. Don’t believe them when they tell you after the first date how special you are to them.
Be aware of how they want to know all about you but are secretive when it comes to their lives. They also have trust issues. They don’t trust the mailman, the police, the government or the waitress at the restaurant. They never do anything for you without having an ulterior motive.
At first they will act like they like your family and friends but over time will find reasons for you not to be around them. They are never wrong even if you catch them dead on. They are unable to love anyone because they don’t love themselves. Don’t try to help them, don’t feel sorry for them. Just get out of dodge quick!
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-signs-of-a-narcissist-1
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What Bible verses explain why demons hate the Chosen One/s?
Satan and his demons are God’s worst enemies. He hates it when God’s chosen ones preach and teach the truth to others. The second half of Revelation 12:17. Explains why the demons hate the chosen ones. It says “(they observe the commandments of God and have the work of bearing witness concerning Jesus,”.
Satan initiated warfare against them that included both a spiritual conflict and actual persecution, even resulting in death for some. Revelation chapters 13 describes how the Devil wars against Christ’s spiritual brothers by means of the wild beast and the image of the wild beast. In Revelation chapters 17–19 reveals another agent Satan uses against them. Babylon the Great, the world empire of false religion.
Thus, to deceive people the Bible says in 2Corinthians 11:14,15 “…Satan keeps disguising himself as an angel of light…”. Since he and his cohorts are murderers, they will use anything in their power from preventing people to know the truth, which would result in life. (John 17:3). For more information, feel free to check out our website on http://jw.org Scroll down to Bible Questions Answered, then click on Spirit Realm.
https://www.quora.com/What-Bible-verses-explain-why-demons-hate-the-Chosen-One-s
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How Do I Diagnose
A Narcissist?
Look closely at their behavior. Does it match their words? For example, does the npd say he loves you but doesn't lift a finger to help you when you are drowning in housework along with regular work. This is saying you care but not acting as if you do. Beware of their words. Many are very charming and charismatic.
Look for intermittent reinforcement. This is very loving words or behavior thrown in the mix of abusive behavior. It effectively bonds a person to the npd.
Look for very twisted logic. Npds have to use quite a variety of cognitive gymnastics to make sure blame and fault never land on them.
They are brilliant at undermining your self esteem in very subtle ways over a long period of time.
The focus is nearly always on them: how they feel, how much work they have, how inconvenienced they are.
Often npds are very good with little kids who are nothing but love and positive supply. However when those children become a bit more challenging as adolescents the npds often discard them. The children of narcissists suffer mightily and we often marry narcisssists as well.
I can tell you this, if you are with one, do whatever you have to do to leave if you can. Being with an npd is a no-win situation. Npds don't have empathy, although they can mimmick it beautifully. It doesn't hurt them to hurt others so that will never be a barrier to them getting what they want. And everyone else pays the price.
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Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming need for admiration, and usually a complete lack of empathy toward others. People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life — and to anyone they meet. While this pattern of behavior may be appropriate for a king in 16th century England, it is generally considered inappropriate for most ordinary people today.
People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes. For example, an individual with this disorder may complain about a clumsy waiter’s “rudeness” or “stupidity,” or conclude a medical evaluation with a condescending evaluation of the physician.
A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates from the norm of the individual’s culture. The pattern is seen in two or more of the following areas: cognition; affect; interpersonal functioning; or impulse control. The enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations. It typically leads to significant distress or impairment in social, work or other areas of functioning. The pattern is stable and of long duration, and its onset can be traced back to early adulthood or adolescence.
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).
Requires excessive admiration
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends.
Lacks empathy, e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
Because personality disorders describe long-standing and enduring patterns of behavior, they are most often diagnosed in adulthood. It is uncommon for them to be diagnosed in childhood or adolescence because a child or teen is under constant development, personality changes, and maturation. However, if it is diagnosed in a child or teen, the features must have been present for at least 1 year.
Narcissistic personality disorder is more prevalent in males than females and is thought to occur in around 6 percent of the general population, according to research.
Like most personality disorders, NPD typically will decrease in intensity with age, with many people experiencing a few of the most extreme symptoms by the time they are in their 40s or 50s.
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By objectively observing his behaviors and attitudes towards other people (not just you). And comparing those behaviors to the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. And by understanding his motivations for those behaviors, not by your interpretation of them.
It’s about the motivations for the behaviors, not the behaviors themselves. The behaviors are the symptoms. The motivations will identify the disorder.
And the motivations are NOT about you. They are about him.
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Some can never do it. Some red flags
1)They never apologize unless it is for personal gain.
2) It's never their fault, they lack capacity or willingness for deep internal insight into their flaws. Some argue they are always aware of flaws therefor narcissistic. I need to clear this myth. Narcissism is a solid, solid wall (defense mechanism) in response to chronic criticism , inconsistent parents, addicted parents, invalidating parents, and neglect.
A narcissist is in chronic survival mode and has created an impenetrable persona of themselves which requires excessive admiration just to support their grandiose delusional created sense of self. That being said, unconsciously having chronic self doubt and insecurity, they make the choice to use people for personal gain. They do not value others wellbeing because no one cared about theirs. Research claims the apple doesn't fall far from the tree so take a close look at their parents or lack thereof.
3) They make you question your sanity due their personal narrative which consists of them always being right. If u threaten it, they fly into a horrible rage.
4) They demand a level of respect even though they have no accomplishments to support their expectations.
5) They shower you with love and affection only to shame you later into serving their needs and end up feeling alone and unable to trust their motives.
6) History of conflicted romantic relationship with amazing ability to cut people out of their lives.
7) Inflated self worth
8) Even with many failed relationships, no history or willingness to seek help.
8) Humiliating others in public for personal recognition.
Basically, they have personal life goals but they do not include you unless it requires your resources, time and support. You feel like a pawn and sadly, you are!! Look at how they treat others and learn about their personal philosophy. Watch behaviors, don't waste time with intentions, they are who they are. Typically they became expert chameleons which they did to survive 18 or more years of chronic abuse.
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It is very hard to diagnose a narcissist because they don't see themselves at flawed in any way so don't seek help. They are usually diagnosed in a prison setting and even then it is hard because they are pathological liars and quite enjoy being able to mess with a therapist's head.
Really there is no need to diagnose a narcissist. If you are involved with someone who has many of the traits of a narcissist you are being abused and no one should stay with someone who treats the people in their life the way a narcissist does.
They are self centered, conscienceless, abusers and users; putting a label on them doesn't change who they are and how they treat you.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-diagnose-a-narcissist
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What do narcissistic people want from people?
A narcissist simply wants someone who can make them feel a certain way about themselves, while also being provided resources and benefits. Most people know this by now but sadly, it goes further than that.
A narcissist wants to suck you dry, so they can move onto the next source of supply, and then suck them dry. It is an endless obsession.
Once they reach a certain age, they settle down with someone who is vapid or gullible enough to put up with them, or they find someone just like them (yes, it happens). Narcissists do fear being alone and not having someone to parasite off of, which is why I say they are the true co-dependents.
They are AFRAID of being alone, while making it seem the other person is the one who is defective and fearful. This is why I think they also play games with you and do small discards at first, and silent treatment. This is why they play those twisted games and triangulate. They want YOU to be fearful and in panic mode all the time.
It’s a trap, and also a deception.
Secretely, the narcissist is fearful of the world. They are in survival mode and are constantly chasing. Even when in a "serious" so-called relationship. Let me be clear here, you are never in a relationship with a narcissist, it is more akin to a parasite and a host. It isn't even symbiotic. You aren't getting much back from a narcissist.
For example, at first, the narcissist might try and prove they are a great person. They will fool you by doing work, helping around the house, cleaning, etc. They will brag about what great cooks they are, and how they can’t wait to treat you like a King or Princess, whatever.
Then, little by little, they do less and less. Often, they have a mostly-feigned "narcissistic collapse." This gives them the excuse to completely stop working, even at a job. They sometimes go back to where they came from or to another supply, whatever that may be.
They have to trick you into thinking they are capable, willing, and "good" people. What you see in the end is who they actually are.
They only got into a relationship per se, in order to use you. That's all. They're going to find a way to get another supply, and another. Even if married, it's never enough. A piece of paper makes no difference to a narcissist, and I've known narcissists who actually say it's just a "piece of paper" but then they go on to marry someone to lock them down.
If a male narcissist, he may also get you pregnant on purpose, to keep you a prisoner. But you will still be expected to provide, and do work. Many of them don't even want you after that, as someone told me recently of their experiences.
These people are exceedingly inhumane, nasty, and capable of even killing you.
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There are 2 sides to this question. One being not what the narcissist wants from their victim, but rather what they don't want their victim to have. Narcissists are extremely jealous of people that can love, care and have good qualities that make them a good person.
Narcissists are incapable of those things so they set out to destroy all of those good qualities in their victim. They don't want them to have those qualities. The other, is nothing. They don't want anything from their victims. They don't want any struggle. They don't want them to have a mind of their own, or a backbone or anything at all.
Also, they want their victims to take the blame for being the narcissist. Narcissists go from victim to victim doing the same things over and over never once having any intentions of even being in a relationship with them but rather to convince not only them selves, but everybody around them that they are not a narcissist by making their every victim out to be the narcissist.
They do this because a narcissists number one biggest fear is being found out that they are a narcissist.
So they go from victim to victim and use them to say “See they are the narcissist, not me” to the people around them. They are pathological liars also, meaning they can tell themselves something so many times and they will literally believe it's the truth. They use their victims as a way to convince themselves even that they aren't a narcissist. I hope that all made sense for you.
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TO BE LEFT ALONE.
That's literally what the narcissist wants from you.
The narcissist wants you to perform your duties as Clown slave and stfu.
You're to compassionately and enthousiastically understand that the narcissist has an issue with you loving them.
But you're to keep being agreeable and taking care of all adult responsibilities.
The narcissist wants to live their life as if they're single, f*cking left right and center.
And for you to pretend that you're being treated as gold while you're being abused to no end.
The narcissist wants you to stop bringing up the past, like wanting to talk about their internet activities you found out about 5 minutes ago.
And the narcissist wants to come and go as they please.
They go when they have a date with someone else and they come when they're done f*cking.
The narcissist wants you to sit still, not speak a word and practice radical acceptance when they're laying out the case of how you're to blame for them subjecting you to the royal crackhead treatment.
They want to be nice and caring to the stranger on the bus, but treat you like a 5 dollar whore.
All of this has to be going on whilst you leave them tf alone.
Then, when they're ready, they wanna discard you with the fury of hellfire and for you to understand that that's what you deserve.
After that they need for you to keep up with the Narcashian until they're ready to make their way back, still blaming you for the entire travesty, but finding it in their heart to give you another chance.
That's what the narcissist wants from you.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissistic-people-want-from-people
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What does a narcissist want?
An emotional punching bag.
A human receptacle to get off into.
A mirror that reflects back to them their amazing false made up self.
A free place to stay.
Free food.
Free love (open marriage, open relationships).
Total control over your life, psyche, money, children, future, past, present, your entire being…
Your friends (more to take advantage off).
Your empathy (you make them look like a kind giving person).
Your bank account (more prostitutes to get off into).
Your integrity (thanks for sticking around even though I’m screwing and stealing from 9 other women) 🥂
Your dedication (when they hoover, you come back even after you know who they are). Cheers you dumb 💩, now, I’ll make it hurt twice as much!!
Your energy. (Ever notice how you’re absolutely exhausted being around them? This is not an accident. This is why evil people live longer as they suck the good people DRY).
All narcissists want is someone who gives them chances.
If you stick around when your body is telling you different the only person you are betraying is yourself.
Get out before they have a chance to sink their claws into you!
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Your validation, approval, attention, money, possessions, your emotions, your empathy heart and soul
But IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.
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They seem to want the same things that other people want. They just want MORE of those things than other people have and they don't want for anybody to have more of anything than they have. The same things they want MORE of for themselves are the same things they try to keep others from having AS MUCH AS they do.
They want control of their own lives and control of the people around them. They want love, admiration, respect, and empathy FOR THEM from EVERYBODY around THEM, but they don't want ANY other person around THEM to have those same things. They want their version of REALITY to be accepted by EVERY person around THEM.
They want to be VOLUNTARILY given whatever THEY want at the exact time THEY want it to be given. They only want what they see themselves as "deserving", which is whatever THEY want when THEY want it.
A narcissist will DEMAND everything from you and all the while be telling you that they "want nothing" from you except what THEY "deserve".
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They want you to give them unconditional love, respect, sex, money, etc, but do not expect anything in return- your feelings do not matter. Do not question the Narc - his behavior is acceptable and if you dare cross him/her expect repercussion. Essentially, they want a house plant - a plastic one - watering would be too much effort for a Narc.
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Attention, attention, attention.
Love, love, love.
Your self-esteem, your life, your body, your soul. All of you.
They want to con, trick, control and manipulate emotions, thoughts and feelings. To devalue, degrade and humiliate. To make the person question their thoughts and feelings while enduring emotional pain hurt and jealousy. To embrace with ulterior motives to discard with no empathy.
To pit people against each other within the family. To empower friends and strangers …..and trivialize opinions of those important. To humiliate, abuse and conquer for no reason. To lie just because they can. To hide who they are, while entrapping and accusing. To meet their needs at the expense of those with ethics, morals and feelings. Finally to meet their demise by their non empathetic actions and search for yet another target.
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They want to feel safe.
But you are such a huge and perpetual threat to them that they cannot ever feel safe as long as you continue to exist, so to eliminate the threat without the necessity of killing you and everyone else, they tear you down in many different ways like:
Making you believe you are worthless and causing you to develop learned helplessness so that you become dependent.
Making you distrust yourself through gaslighting until you believe you are insane and distrust the whole world too so that you become isolated.
Making you self-destructive so that you help them tear yourself down.
Elevating themselves by feeling contempt for you by trivializing or devaluing you so that you are perceived to be not worthy of consideration nor fear.
Making you worship or validate them or prove yourself to them continually to convince them that you are not so much of a threat after all.
Making you renounce your rights, your agency, your sovereignty, your authenticity, and collude with them so that your unpredictability will never threaten them again.
Training you to utterly neglect your own needs so that you cannot inconveniently burden the narcissist with your needs while also causing you to self-destructively neglect your own welfare and to help tear yourself down.
All these things are focused on making you controllable because a perfectly controllable thing like their own limb is no longer a threat, and the narcissist can finally relax and feel safe. Ideally you can continue to physically exist, but you must cease to exist inside, so that the threat of your autonomy is removed.
Also the various expressions of narcissism below are merely tools meant to help accomplish the destruction of your personhood listed above, things like:
Bravado is meant to impress or intimidate other personalities in the room into submission or acquiescence and to mask their latent insecurity and anxiety.
Devaluation to make you feel lesser so that they can be greater.
Deceit and trickery is meant to acquire the upper-hand in all their dealings with others in anticipation of the inevitable relationship breakdown.
Gathering a crowd of flying monkeys to beat down anyone who questions or makes them feel threatened.
The way they twist everything you say to make you invalidated, frustrated, or exhausted talking to them.
Having a golden child to make everyone else feel inadequate and to prove to everyone that they are capable of love.
Love bombing you to seduce you into eventually relinquishing your personhood and to cede control.
Mirroring or mimicking you
The silent treatment to apply surreptitious pressure on you.
Ruining everything for you so that you cannot be happy.
Perpetually replacing people like replacing appliances.
Never showing vulnerability and never feeling vulnerable.
The tyranny of their needs.
Their contempt for your needs.
Their lack of empathy.
Having no remorse.
The narcissist has a perpetual craving to defeat and subdue everyone using these tactics and transform them into automatons so that they will someday become safe and loved when everyone else’s personhood ceases to exist and so too their autonomous attribute which is seen as a threat to the narcissist.
What is the narcissist threatened by? They are threatened by the fact that you retain the ability to freely choose, and that you might someday choose to reject, question or criticize them. Your agency is their greatest threat. Only when your freedom to choose is completely extinguished can they feel safe.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-want?no_redirect=1
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What do narcissists actually care about?
Narcissists care about two things: power and control.
They want to exert total control over your life, and they want total power over you. They want you to feel like they're going to have that power over you forever. And what better way to gain power over someone than to make them feel like they can't leave?
They're vulnerable, they won't be able to make it without you, so they gaslight you into thinking that you're more helpless than you are. Because they know that you will never leave them if you feel that way.
Or if you do leave, then you'll be more likely to come back. So they gaslight you, they warp your reality, they try to convince you that this toxic, horrible relationship you're in with them is somehow love. That they hurt you because they care about you so much. How does that make any sense?
But what narcissists don't want you to know is that they need you way more than you need them. You are supply to them. You are their entire identity.
They don't have a core sense of self; they only have external validation. You do have an internal sense of self; it's just been stifled by this abuser. So don't let a narcissist tell you who you are. You know who you are; it's down there somewhere, even though the narcissist has been forcing you to push your humanity down for the sake of getting along.
And when you remember who you are, you will remember that you do not deserve this kind of abuse. There is nothing that you did to deserve psychological abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, or any other kind. And you don't have to sit here and settle for that ever.
If somebody has verbally assaulted you, called you horrible names, screamed and yelled at you, you owe that person nothing at this point. And you do have the power to remove yourself from the situation and to either go no contact or gray rock if you have to co-parent or if you work with them.
Taking your power back from a narcissist is as simple as realizing that you have a lot of different options. Start to build an escape plan. Don't tell the narcissist you're leaving, just build a plan. And then strive to little by little do everything you can to keep that plan.
And if you have a child with this person, get a custody and child care legal agreement. Narcissists are always going to use the opportunity to engage in a power struggle if you let them. Don't give them that opportunity.
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Joseph Burgo, a clinical psychologist, has a video where he speaks of their (narcissists) idealized false self. He explains that minimal empathy and love leads to their developing an existential shame which permeates their being. This is evidenced by dreams they report involving ramshackle structures and hideous birth defects. They develop an idealized false self which is the opposite of their inadequate shamed self.
He says rarely do narcissists want to discuss their shame. Instead what interests them is how they can be more like their idealized self.
What is genuinely important to narcissists is that they by viewed as being like their idealized self. This the crux of “narcissistic supply.”
Narcissists manipulate people, above all themselves, to believe their idealized self represents who they really are.
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Narcissists typically care about several key things, often centered around their self-image and personal needs. Here are some of the main aspects:
Admiration and Validation: Narcissists crave admiration from others. They often seek out praise and recognition to reinforce their self-esteem and sense of superiority.
Control and Power: Many narcissists desire control over situations and people. They may manipulate others to maintain a position of power or influence.
Self-Image: Maintaining a grandiose self-image is crucial for narcissists. They invest significant effort in presenting themselves as exceptional or superior, often exaggerating their achievements.
Attention: They often seek constant attention and may become upset if they feel overlooked or ignored. This need for attention can manifest in various ways, including dramatic behavior or self-promotion.
Success and Status: Narcissists often prioritize success, wealth, and social status. They may measure their self-worth by their achievements and compare themselves to others.
Lack of Empathy: While they may care about how others perceive them, narcissists often struggle to genuinely empathize with others’ feelings or needs, focusing instead on their own desires.
Fear of Criticism: Despite their outward confidence, many narcissists have a deep-seated fear of criticism or rejection, which can lead to defensive or aggressive behavior when they feel threatened.
Understanding these motivations can help in navigating relationships with narcissistic individuals, as their behavior is often rooted in a fragile self-esteem masked by an inflated self-image.
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They care about
1- Supply that interests and FEEDS them.
2- The way they appear to others. As generous, magnanimous and good.
3- Keeping their kids around as a source of validation for how good they are.
4- Drugs and alcohol or other mind altering things.
5- Being the most important person to other people in their lives.
6- The concert ticket holder - the one organizing the "trip" somewhere.
7- They want to be at the center of things which also provides them many opportunities for supply and even possible sexcapades.
8- They enjoy being the masters of their destiny but everything they do is about themselves. They dominate situations and suffocate anyone else's chance for shining.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-actually-care-about
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What do narcissists get from using people?
The number one reason a narcissist chases anyone is simply to subdue and utilize them as a tool. It isn't necessarily attention, because they can get that from their "friends." They are looking for someone to help them survive in this world.
When a narcissist becomes your "significant other" (note my tone of sarcasm here), you serve as someone to help them pay their bills. As things progress, they will ask you to cosign with them for loans and other legal paperwork to obtain automobiles, homes, and other property.
But they lovebomb you first and futurefake. They will ask you to move in with you or marry. They will make it appear as if the idea for a new car or home came from you, as if it's also for you. But it's actually meant for them.
The secondary supply a narcissist obtains through using someone is the social standing. They have a "front" now and can appear like a normal person with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a spouse. Too many of them become parents and a great many will have illegitimate children while married, although I do dislike that term because the children did not ask to be born.
The tertiary supply is the attention. You make the narcissist "feel alive" with your presence at first, and they feed off of your energy. As time progresses, they show you who they actually are, and begin to spit venom at you quite frequently, until it all escalates into major blowouts from time to time. You begin to wonder "who is this person I married?" This is when you realise you were majorly defrauded and had been used the ENTIRE TIME.
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Benefits and privileges that are easily given by those who have no idea what's going on. Narcissists play on your empathy, compassion, heartstrings, kindness, and generosity. They make you not want to have those good qualities. Make sure you're not giving your all to someone who's only in it for their selfish gain. Keep learning about narcissists and dark psychological tactics they use. It's a matter of life or death at this point because they will drain you until you're left with nothing.
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Narcissists get their narcissistic supply by using people. Narcissists aren't able to function normally if they don't get narcissistic supplies all the time; they need people to survive. Narcissists keep relationships with people because they want benefits from them. Narcissists will invest the bare minimum to get maximum benefits from people.
Narcissists think they are superior and better than everyone, so they can use people according to their needs. Narcissists don't waste time on anyone who has nothing to offer. For narcissists, every person is an object to be used. Narcissists can use people for influence, money, finance, support, physical needs, accommodation, power, control, authority, status, traveling, etc., and the list goes on.
Narcissists form attachments based on the narcissistic supplies they get from people. Narcissists will cut off people who have nothing to offer. Narcissists are selfish and parasitic in nature; they will suck you dry and then leave you.
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Supply. Narcissists need constant attention and admiration.
It’s a pretty sweet deal for them. They get to do whatever they want, whenever they want, with whoever they want and you can’t question them.
Meanwhile, you’re cooking their meals, cleaning their house, picking up after them and raising their kids.
Narcissists get everything they want from using people: all the features and benefits of the relationship, but none of the responsibilities.
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The Prime Aims. The narcissist needs to obtain and sustain the Prime Aims, which include control, fuel, character traits, and residual benefits. Regardless of your relationship with the narcissist, they require control over you to compensate for a lack of control in their past.
Additionally, they need fuel to fill the emptiness within themselves, which comes from the reactions and output of others. Character traits are acquired from people to enhance the narcissist's facade and make their true self harder to detect. Finally, residual benefits refer to anything you can provide to the narcissist, such as money or services, that they can exploit for their own benefit.
The narcissist must always maintain control over his or her surroundings and the others inside it, which includes you. Regardless of whether you are a stranger, acquaintance, friend, co-worker, family member, or sexual partner. Whether you are a neighbour, a date, a sister or brother, the gentleman from the corner shop, or a fiancée, you fall inside the narcissist's fuel matrix and must be subject to their control.
The reason they need control stems back to their past; every narcissist will have experienced a severe lack of control environment in their youth - this created an innate and ever-present need to have control and hypersensitivity to any perceived threat to that control. This is because, whenever they don't have control, it reminds them of that time in their youth when they were weak and made to feel insignificant, and that makes them angry, possibly igniting their fury.
The narcissist needs fuel. This is because, within a narcissist, there is an emptiness that must be filled with the emotional output of others (fuel). The fuel gives the narcissist energy (fuels them), and when it is provided the narcissist gets a feeling of invincibility. But there is always that emptiness there, and no amount of fuel can get rid of it constantly.
It can be largely ignored if the narcissist is extremely well fuelled, but there is always that itch that can never be scratched. This emptiness was developed in the narcissist due to the lack of control in their environment. During their environment, they essentially didn’t matter; therefore, the emotional reactions and output of others that are directed towards the narcissist validates their existence and tells them that they matter.
The narcissist will acquire character traits from people. Character traits can be experiences, speech patterns or vocabulary, insights or beliefs, mannerisms, or they can see someone with empathic traits and learn to feign it more effectively from them. The reason they do this is it adds to the construct and makes the narcissist’s true self harder to detect.
Some narcissists will be better at this than others. Think of it like shards of glass. Every time you share an experience with the narcissist, the narcissist will take that experience as if it were a shard of glass and add it to their frame, overall creating their construct.
Finally, the narcissist will take residual benefits. This is anything you can do for or give the narcissist. If you provide the narcissist with money, a place to live, help with the facade, etc. that is a residual benefit. If you provide the narcissist with a service, such as doing things for them, that’s a residual benefit.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-get-from-using-people
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What do narcissists want from their significant others?
To use you for whatever they can use you for….sex, the maid, your money, your time, your human rights and dignity….they want to OWN YOU, and destroy you. You have something they don’t…they want to take it away from you. Don’t be involved is the only answer.
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When all is said and done, the narcissist sees only one purpose in you —
to get their needs met.
They only want you around, they will only tolerate you, if you help them get their needs met.
Which needs?
Narcissists struggle to process their feelings of self-loathing, so they must pass onto you, making you detest yourself.
Narcissists are shame-based individuals, so they must pass on any feelings of shame onto you, making you feel shameful.
Narcissistic projection, is all about you taking on the narcissist's negative qualities and feelings, so they don't have to.
And they succeed in this, by reading and understanding you well enough, so they know just what to say or do to make you feel the way they feel.
By witnessing you experience their feelings, they have temporary relief, projection complete.
In addition to narcissistic projection, they also like getting their ego stroked by you, as and when they need an uplift.
Oh, and those sexual favors and ancillary perks, of course.
Although if you are with the narcissist long term, being the primary supply, chances are they are getting most of their sexual needs met elsewhere.
You are just a doormat.
:tello: "Boy Howdy, if that ain't fuggin' true....!"
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:tello: I have no idea what they want. I tried for 30+ years. Here’s what they don’t want:
A disloyal person that doesn't stand by them through thick and thin.
An honest person, they hate that.
Someone that is aware of the abuse.
Someone who won't plan little getaways.
Someone who would not drop everything and be at the beck and call.
Someone who doesn't leave notes and cards at random.
Someone that doesn't support them, when they are down.
Someone that doesn't buy random gifts that shows you’re thinking about them.
Constructive criticism, or any criticism at all. That’s a big no no.
Someone that admits they have flaws. They want you perfect!
Someone who calls them on their bullshit.
Someone that doesn’t believe their lies and fake life on social media.
Someone that has feelings, intelligence, wants and needs.
Someone that challenges their delusions.
So, yea. I have no clue what they want, but I know exactly what she didn’t want.
Me.
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Another thing about narcissists that you should keep in mind is that THEY KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON. They know you were good to them, but they want to change your perception of reality to make you believe otherwise. That way, they can run away from taking accountability for hurting you.
So when they talk sh!t about you and spread lies in attempts to destroy your character, THEY KNOW they are lying on a good solid individual. Eventually, the lies will catch up to them and it will not end well when they have to take back what they said.
This is why going no contact and STAYING NO CONTACT is the best thing you can do because there's nothing they’ve got to offer you but pain and bullshit.
They KNOW you're good, remember that! They just want you to take the blame for the stuff they did to you. Don't ever let them get in your head by making you believe you were no good. No. YOU ARE GOOD, that's why they targeted you in the first place.
Keep getting that knowledge to save your life.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-want-from-their-significant-others-26
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Will a narcissist treat the new supply the same as he did to me?
Every single human being gets treated the same by the NPD.
Narcissists will treat each and every supply in same way. Narcissists may love bomb one supply more than other supply, but they will be abusive with every person in the end. Narcissists don't form emotional bonds, they don't have capacity to understand partners needs and happiness, it's all about them.
Narcissists lack empathy, remorse and understanding to form healthy relationship. Narcissists after love bombing can't accept partners flaws, they have Unrealistic expectations from partners which results in downfall of relationship. Narcissists won't change for any person on this earth. In the end narcissist replaces victims.
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Yes absolutely!!
Narcissists lack empathy and the ability to really love anyone and that doesn't change from one relationship to another relationship. It's a pattern that is the same over and over again. They convince you that you just met the love of your life and soulmate and the honeymoon phase is so awesome that you almost become addicted to them like a drug.
That's how they trap you in their web but it doesn't last long and you will start seeing some red flags and you will right those off because you love them and you can't forget the person you first met and you refuse to believe that person wasn't real and not acknowledging this will be your demise because it gets worse and worse. It's a journey through the depths of hell with the Devil himself.
These people are evil and have no empathy for anyone and deep down they really hate you for being a good person and they will make you pay for their issues and problems and faults. They are liars, cheaters, manipulators, selfish and self serving, attention suckers, soul stealing and they love hurting you and watching you suffer and as long as you have them in your life you will never be free from pain.
https://www.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-treat-the-new-supply-the-same-as-he-did-to-me
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Narcissistic abuse should be a crime.
5 Ways a Narcissist Turns
Your Home into a
Living Hell
@shirleyhunt8769
1 day ago
It is a crime but they get away with it.
@lynnomondi4899
11 hours ago
You can say that again, they make other people's lives hell.
@looweegee252
8 hours ago
Yes!! We need to outlaw narcissistic abuse!!!!
@JamesNGames
2 days ago
Living with a narcissist is like enduring a relentless nightmare. They strip away the peace and warmth of your home, turning it into a battlefield of manipulation and control. Every conversation becomes a calculated attack on your self-worth, leaving you doubting your reality. The outside world sees their charm, but behind closed doors, they wield their narcissism like a weapon, isolating you and making your home feel like a prison. You slowly lose yourself as they twist your mind, turning your sanctuary into a living hell.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhu6xY0VwEE
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This is what they wanted. That's so crazy.
What kind of sick people would do this???
NARCISSISTS ULTIMATE THRILL
WOULD BE YOU COMMITTING SUICIDE
OVER THEM!
@kelseymiles3388
10 months ago
Stay strong. Don’t let the evil tempt you to do it. Pray to your creator for strength. You are loved.
@Shalom.4.4.
10 months ago
They smile in your face, all the while they wanna take your place, they’re BACK STABBERS, BACK STABBERS Yessssirrrr! That’s it right there!
@carolineaitchison838
10 months ago
They have no empathy my narc left his ex dead on a chair all night while he went to bed full of drugs and reported her dead in the morning. he told me this after we married. I always had thoughts of suicide to get away. I believe that was a spirit from him. Thank god he saved me. Love you Zion thank you
@user-zk2fe6rz5e
10 months ago
You got that right I feel disgusted when I think of this thing ewww I can’t believe I was sleeping with the devil smh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXJQ0QuBuzE
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Its always... all about them, let that sink in and choose to be happy!
How Narcissists Destroy Their
Own Lives - 8 Self-Destructive Habits That Lead to
Their Downfall!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xal2GyTl95o
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It's hard for a normal thinking mind to wrap itself around the twisted mess that resides inside their head.
Disturbing Mind of a Narcissist: 5 Thinking Patterns that Drive Their Every Move
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldnszv_UK4U
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:plane:
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Do narcissists understand when they hurt their partner?
Narcissists? Oh, they absolutely know when they’re hurting you—and they love it. It’s like their twisted little hobby. You see, they’re too emotionally stunted to understand real feelings because empathy is as foreign to them as good taste in movies.
Why? Because when they were kids, they probably got more hugs from a cactus than their own parents. So, expecting them to understand your emotions is like expecting a rock to grow a brain—ain’t gonna happen!!
When they hurt you, don’t expect an apology. Instead, brace yourself for the most mind-bending blame-shifting you’ve ever seen. They’ll twist it until you’re the one feeling guilty, even though you’re the one who got hurt. It’s like you’re in a game where they’re always the victim, and you’re somehow the bad guy for pointing out their nonsense.
Their “apologies” are MASTERPIECE OF MANIPULATION . It’s never “I’m sorry for what I did.” It’s more like, “I’m sorry you’re too sensitive,” or “I’m sorry the situation made me do it.”
TRANSLATION: “I’m never wrong, and it’s all your fault.”period.
And if you’re their prime source of ego fuel? Oh, they’ll turn into the world’s best actor, love-bombing you like they’re auditioning for a role in a rom-com. But don’t be fooled—underneath the sweet talk is a soul as hollow as a cheap chocolate Easter bunny.
Their game is all about control, manipulation, and making you doubt your own reality. If you confront them, get ready for a full-blown meltdown. They can’t handle criticism because their fragile ego shatters like glass at the slightest touch.
In short, narcissists are like emotional BLACK HOLES—no matter how much you give, it’s never enough, and they’ll suck the life out of you without a second thought. The best move? Get the hell away and never look back.
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OMG, YES! Of course they do! That's what they get off on! They LITERALLY feed off of and completely torment, abuse and traumatizing their victims. I'm dead serious.
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Yes, they understand. However, they don’t feel guilt or apologize. On the contrary, they feel victorious when they see their hurt has damaged you. If you let them see how sad or hurt you are, they would be very happy. If you hide your feeling if hurt and smile in their faces, they get crazy. But, they’ll never stop hurting you. Your smile will give them a feedback to reconsider their tactics with you. They will think of more hurtfully effective strategies to make you unable to hide your real feeling of pain. They love to see pain in your eyes or see you shout.
They get their positive energy from hurting others. They feed on causing pain to their prey. They always need to refuel their emptiness and exchange their negativity with sucking others happiness. They are vampires that live on evacuating you from positive energy and leaving you suffer.
Your happiness is their favorite meal; your sorrow is their happiness.
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Yes they do and guess what, they DON’T care! Ta daa. (In case you’ve not yet realized this.) They understand it alright that you their partner are hurting, they simply lack the interpersonal skills needed to care. You’re welcome:) (lived with a narc for 5 long and miserable years).
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Yes — they do know and understand. To take it further... They plan to do it!
Here is what I mean - I had once spent an entire day performing a task for him. I was sure he would come home to appreciate my entire day's work on his behalf. It was a lot!!! I had told him my plan for the day and talked to him later telling him how pleased I was with the progress.
When he came home he walked directly (immediately) into the area where I expected he would be joyously excited. Within a matter of seconds he called my name. As I went in, he immediately began to criticize one particular thing I had done. He was talking to me as if I was a child and as if that one small, miniscule, issue was worse than the totality of everything I had done.
For some reason, I watched him closely, I kept my eyes on him — something was off. I could tell that this was not a random rant. I really believed that before he left work he had decided on the supply he needed from me that evening. He needed me to feel small and unappreciated with maybe even a helping of jealousy.
I saw it, I couldn't believe it, but I saw it in his demeanor. He was establishing himself as ruler and me as subservient in a quest for his validation. It really did hurt me, I think mainly because I knew this event was staged, that probably all the way home he relished in how he would work the script.
I felt the power that swept over him knowing that he was demeaning me… and that I felt badly as a result of his scolding. I watched him outwardly use that miniscule, unnoticeable issue to extract the ‘supply’ of hurt that fed his ego and need for demonstrative control.
I recognized the power surge that resulted from my hurt feelings. So yes, they know that they are hurting you. They plan on hurting you. They receive supply from hurting you. If I could offer any advice in this area, it would be - when they are demeaning you on what you do, watch their face, look into their eyes. It's visible!!
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Narcissists can have varying levels of awareness regarding the impact of their behavior on others, including their partners. Generally, individuals with narcissistic traits may:
Lack Empathy: Many narcissists struggle to empathize with others, making it difficult for them to fully understand or care about the emotional pain they may cause their partner.
Intellectual Understanding: Some narcissists might intellectually recognize that their actions hurt their partner, but this understanding may not translate into emotional awareness or remorse.
Defensive Reactions: When confronted about their behavior, narcissists might react defensively, denying responsibility or blaming their partner, which can further complicate their understanding of the harm they cause.
Manipulative Behavior: Narcissists may also use their awareness of their partner's feelings to manipulate situations to their advantage rather than to foster genuine understanding or change.
Overall, while some narcissists might recognize that their actions are hurtful, their ability to empathize and take responsibility for the emotional consequences is often limited.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-understand-when-they-hurt-their-partner
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What is the lesson from narcissistic abuse that you didn't know you needed?
The mask of normalcy is hiding the vortex of psychopathy.
They are amongst us. You will never see them coming, you will only know when they are going. They will murder your soul and leave your body alive so you can feel exactly as they do. They chose you to carry on the curse. In the end you will be the one mirroring them. You will be the one giving them the familiarity of themselves.
You will be as hollow as they are. You will want to destroy them as they have destroyed you. You will feel shame and pain and confusion and hopelessness and anger and worthlessness, but unlike them, it's too late for you. You can't build a false self to stuff all that away and live life.
Oh no. You have to deal with it all, and build your new true self from the tiny broken pieces they didn't f*cking steal from you. In the end, when you show them the mirror image of themselves, they see a monster and they discard you and run for the f*cking hills. Back into society with their mask in place, ready to do it all over again with new prey.
The single most important thing I have learned from being in a relationship with a narcissist is that I am stronger than what I ever could of imagined. That I can be to hell and back and still be a good person and put a smile on my face and go to work and have love to give to my friends and family even with excruciating pain, insurmountable anger and never-ending hopelessness surging thru my veins.
I can survive him and whatever insane bullshit he threw at me. It must piss him off that I figured him out and that I put a stop to it. I didn't become his human door mat. I took my life back. I am here kicking ass and surviving every single hour of every single day.
The single most valuable lesson I learned is that he is a covert, abusive, A-hole and he can kiss my empathetic, awesome ass.
Edit: All of you are awesome and all of the people who hurt you can kiss all of our empathetic, awesome asses!! Don’t give those undeserving, spineless, waste of earth’s natural resources anymore of your time or energy.
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This is a masterful question.
• Not everybody has our best interests at heart, some are only interested in their own needs and wants, and some actually enjoy hurting others. I used to know this intellectually, but not really… now I get it.
• Red flags in any relationship, whether romantic, business, family, or friendship, should never be ignored, EVER.
• It isn’t my job to rescue others. Heck, in the end I could barely rescue myself, so I certainly have no place thinking I can help others in those ways that I used to think I should and could.
• Never trust another person until actions over time have proven them to be worthy of trust.
• Never be vulnerable around people who aren’t worthy of trust because those vulnerabilities may be used against me to destroy my life at a later date.
• Never give more to relationships than one receives; it must be reciprocal.
• Always, always. ALWAYS observe people’s empathy levels. If they lack empathy for others then steer clear of them.
• Keep healthy boundaries with others at all times, under all circumstances.
• Never wait for someone else to help me in a dangerous situation, I must protect and defend myself at all times and in all ways.
• It is important to learn how to comfort oneself because nobody else will do it.
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Always trust your guts before you make any move.
Keep to personal rules and principles, be vigilant when someone tries to go against your boundary. The best weapon here is the Yes and No technique.
People, be grateful that you are healthy If you know what people having the narcissistic personality disorder are going through, You will stop complaining and be grateful for being healthy!
No matter how good you try to do for people, It will never be enough. Put yourself first in life, This is how narcissists use the entitlement scheme to ruin their partner confidence and finance.
Implement the Win-Win principles, Once you realise that someone is taking too much from you and you are getting nothing in return, re-evaluate the relationship, worst case quit! This is what narcissists do to innocent souls. Their goal is you lose, they win!
Love is blind that is so true but be very vigilant! Don’t get carried away by fake love. This is how narcissists trap innocent souls for decades!
Don’t rush into a committed relationship with anybody. Life is a risk so true but still be very careful. I know a lady that fell in love with someone having a narcissistic personality disorder. She was lonely, still processing divorce and needed love. Now, this guy is treating her like crap, she is trapped and doesn’t know how to get out. He moved into her apartment a week after getting to know her!
Like in trade, a healthy relationship should be emotionally balanced. Once you feeling anxious, nervous and shivering in front of your partner, then something is wrong. The next thing should be to quit, no doubt! Narc makes their partner fear them, therefore, causing trauma!
Generally, the best way to deal with toxic people is ignoring them for the rest of your life. Change contacts and experience true happiness again. A relationship with a NARC is always a toxic one! The best solution is NO CONTACT!!
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-lesson-from-narcissistic-abuse-that-you-didnt-know-you-needed
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Why do narcissists keep changing their partners more often?
There are several reasons that a narcissist changes partners frequently. This may happen along with a concurrent relationship or marriage.
• They are bored in the relationship.
•They are in fear of being discovered and need alternate relationships in place.
• They live in the moment, and if an opportunity presents itself they can easily choose it.
• Their relationships change for the worse over time which may not give them the adulation they need.
• They are not vested in the relationship so moving on from it doesn’t affect them the same.
• They love the control they have over several partners vying for their attention and love.
There is nothing you can do to keep them from changing partners or seeing additional partners while with you in my opinion.
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Because we Allow Them to.
Once one supply is depleted, they have already made sure an ex supply is recharged and ready to accept them back.
They will not Discard until they are sure of new supply..even if it is an ex.
As long as We Allow it. It Will continue.
Remember....it means energy enticing a new supply. All that time having to pretend.
Its exhausting.
So..an ex is easier prey.
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They can’t do real life.
Real life comes with issues. Relationships have ups and downs, disagreements, arguments and a whole lot of compromising.
The initial infatuation stage is the fun stage. You see your partner through happy glasses. You are dating, having fun, making out like rabbits. Everything is great!
This is pretty much the end of the road with someone with NPD.
Real life is not a fairy tale. Relationships are work. You need to commit and invest in order for it to sustain and grow. You need to have inside you the capability to be understanding and to compromise. You have to be able to put yourself in your partners shoes and empathize with them. You are both individuals but there is a sense of WE. Working towards a common goal and accepting the imperfections of yourself and your partner.
Relationships with NPD partners are superficial and shallow. They cannot move past phase 1. So they move from one, to the next, having usually many sexual partners that were left as they continue on extracting the first stage with those they meet.
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Reuse and recycle. It's not always easy to get a fresh victim. So they put one on silent treatment and sleep with another. Again they stir up a fake argument with the current one putting her on a silent treatment then goes off to the previous.
For them, its all about variety, new tastes, new meat. If new and shiny is not available then some mix and match, flirting with one, chatting with another, sleeping with yet another. This goes on. Until Karma gets to them.
They become old, have an STD, has ED/UTI or have become bankrupt, sick anything. They are serial cheaters and absolutely sick minded.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-keep-changing-their-partners-more-often
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Are narcissists powerful?
When Toto pulls back the curtain in The Wizard of Oz, the ‘Wizard’ is revealed to be an ordinary man, who the whole time was projecting out a ‘powerful’ version of himself using a machine.
How many targets of narcissistic abuse were mesmerised by the narcissist’s world, by their unshakeable conviction, confidence and seemingly endless reserves of energy? How many then peeked behind the curtain of the narcissist’s false self, shocked to discover an inner child filled with shame, fury and desperation?
It would be easy to dismiss narcissists as grifters of the soul, people to be identified and avoided. Yet their impact on the current zeitgeist is undeniable. Endless books, articles and videos have flooded the market, aiming to shed light on this phenomenon.
For many targets of narcissism, the focus has become an obsession. Narcissism has preoccupied the minds and destroyed the lives of millions, mobilising a significant chunk of humanity. Is that not power?
The Awakening Begins
Targets of narcissism can never forget that ‘aha’ moment, that psychological lightning strike which fundamentally changed their lives. Years of abuse suddenly came to the light. They could finally label and validate their experience. The further down the rabbit hole they went, the more obvious the narcissist’s tricks became. Suddenly, the stakes no longer felt so high. Rather than shame and fear, the target began to feel disgust, anger, and eventually, contempt. No-contact grew infinitely easier.
This is ‘phase one’ of recovery, where the target’s awareness widens, and they learn to identify the tricks and behaviours while taking concrete steps to regulate their emotions and grow their personal power. I’ve described this phase in detail in my book ‘How To Kill A Narcissist’.
These surface-level adjustments make an enormous impact on the target’s life, allowing them far more breathing space and opportunities for growth than they ever dreamed possible.
Towards the end of this phase, a person can usually establish a path forward which offers enough peace for a satisfying life after narcissistic abuse.
Others, however, gradually find themselves sinking back into mud, as a seemingly-innocent, fledgling relationship becomes the harbinger of that familiar shadow of the past. This is where we discover the true power of narcissists.
Necessity, The Fuel Of Power
It can be seductive to consider the narcissist in your life as a one-off ‘fluke’ occurrence. Learn their tricks, establish no-contact, and move forward. Simple.
This kind of finger-pointing at the ‘big, bad narcissist’, however, is what can dazzle and distract us from discovering the deeper truth of the matter: It was not just the narcissist who fooled us. We fooled ourselves.
The narcissist’s grandiose, fantasy world is custom-made to plug the deficiencies of our lives in real time. Once a certain narcissist’s particular brand of fantasy loses its power and collapses, we are finally able to change everything and recreate our life from scratch. Eventually, we find balance, and become receptive to meeting new people to fit our new life.
Like magic, an alluring person then steps into our vision, and they feel so right. We are confident in our understanding of narcissism, so nothing can go wrong. Right? And yet, as the honeymoon phase comes and goes, and the water temperature of the relationship gradually reaches a boiling point, we are shocked to find that it has happened again. Our new life has been gradually consumed into an updated fantasy custom-made to match it. How did this happen?
Leaving an abusive relationship and rediscovering balance is not the end of our story. All we have achieved is the psychological space and emotional clarity to start the real work. Revealing and integrating our shadow, releasing our repressed childhood trauma, facing our demons, and coming to terms with the intergenerational history which brought us here. These are the hidden realms within us that magnetise toward narcissists.
Doing the real work is hard. We need to face monstrously destabilising fear, come to terms with unbearable truths, and overcome oceans of shame. We need to undertake the hero’s journey into the core of our soul, crossing treacherous landscapes and undergoing a process of death and rebirth, before we emerge transformed and truly ready to live authentically and powerfully. I’ve described this process in detail in my second book, ‘How to Bury A Narcissist’.
Enormous danger and opportunity awaits us in our shadow, as does the key to knowing the true power of narcissists. Their fantasy world is a reflection of our shadow world. By turning the fantasy inside-out, we discover ourselves. And as long as we refuse to undertake the journey through this dark world, narcissists will remain all-powerful.
Their fate is entwined with ours.
Narcissists are very weak inside, without the attention and supply they collapse or go into a depression mode.
They are not strong, theyre toxic, they steal you’re energy and power. That’s why it’s called a Personality Disorder.
A STRONG PERSON DOES NOT NEED THE APPROVAL OF OTHERS.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-powerful
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Why are narcissists so childish? What went so wrong in their childhood?
You know how some people have an intellectual disability? Well, narcissists have an emotional disability. They have the emotional IQ of a child/adolescent.
Remember how we would seek attention in the form of approval from our parents when we were kids? Narcissists likely didn’t get that approval, which is important for emotional health.
Instead, they were criticized or constantly compared negatively to another sibling or just plain ignored. Sometimes I am sure it’s a combination of all these factors.
What they came to discover was that when people do give them approval, it feels good; it regulates their self-esteem. And, like a drug addict, they want more. And also like a drug addict, their need impairs their judgement and their relationships with others.
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Apart from narcissistic injury, a narcissist can never take anything seriously. This is what lies at the core of their vexatious nature, they have a compulsively childish take on everything. Everything is secretly a joke to them.
It is this inability to ever take anything seriously that lies at their duplicity, because an earnest, authentic person experiences difficulty at being duplicitous, and this difficulty increases with the level of authenticity. Duplicitous roleplaying is difficult for authentic, no nonsense people.
The situation is different for a narcissist, they only roleplay because they only function from their masks or false selves. They are always playing with everything, including with your impression of them, and even with themselves.
Instead of a solid identity, they have play, identity itself is a game for them.
The game does not stop when you get hurt, because the game never stops and it never ends. The game must go on, lying endlessly and playing with your feelings. Nothing is real. There is never an occasion to take things seriously.
But making merry is not the only form of play, being horrid and hurting things is also a form of play, and so is making merry at causing hurt.
When you see them acting like children, you are seeing the closest thing to their true selves. This mask of the child lies at the deepest level and is the final door that guards what’s truly inside them.
But the child mask is still also just play, it is still not truly themselves, it is playing with your nurturing emotions, playing at being cute and adorable, playing at sucking all attention for themselves, playing with denial of the fact that they are not children, and playing with the pretense that they are too childlike to take responsibility.
The child mask is the true reflection of the insincerity that lies at their core and is their statement to the world that they reject the decency and thoughtfulness that is the requirement of being an adult. This is also why so many of them are jokers and comedians. You get away with so much more if you refuse to be serious.
It is a reflection of a lack of conscientiousness
We are wired to accept behavior from children that we wouldn’t accept from other people, and this exploits that
It is being childlike when they are hurting you that disturbs me the most
Defensive, hypersensitive people don’t mature, they just grow old
Update 30/7/2019
Cutesiness.
Cutesiness is a very strong sign of narcissism.
I’m not really talking about the regression to infantilism between lovers and intimate people (i.e baby talk) in private. I’m talking about those who are cutesy towards strangers and to the public in general.
Because the heart of all cutesiness is self-indulgence.
And all self-indulgence is self-exaltation.
Self-exaltation is what the DSM calls grandiosity.
Mockery is the motivating intent behind narcissistic acts of childishness.
The mockery of accountability.
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At what age is the personality formed ?
Experts are divided as to when the personality is formed. Some say that our personality traits are formed in the womb, by age seven or in adolescence. It’s the old ‘nature v nurture’ debate but my personal belief is that by the age of seven, our personalities are formed.
However as we mature, the personality evolves and we do have the ability to reevaluate our core beliefs, values and personality styles. This does take a lot of conscious thought and a level of maturity because we revert back to our formative coping mechanisms, when under pressure.
Are narcissists childish because they regret what happened in childhood?
Looking at how a narcissistic personality is formed within a highly dysfunctional family may throw some light on the matter. Our survival instincts demand that we will do anything in order to survive childhood, even if that means throwing our siblings under the proverbial bus. As we age, our ability for reflection, awareness of self -destructive patterns of behaviour usually results in an evolving personality.
The dynamics of surviving a highly narcissistic parent are that you either join them aka the golden child or become a target of their abuse which leaves you the scapegoat. Other siblings try to fly under the radar thankful that they have not been assigned any of these two roles and by default become ‘flying monkeys’ within the family. This is child abuse but the ‘golden child’ is a groomed child and doesn’t see the parent’s obsession of them as abuse. It takes a highly self-aware narcissist to regret a childhood where they were God like. The scapegoat has a better chance of regretting their abusive childhood if they can recognise that they operate constantly in victim mode.
What child willingly chooses a role that will distort their worldview, give false sense of entitlement and whose need for the ‘perfect love’ will disappoint time after time? Both the young malignant narcissist and the scapegoat will chase the elusive dream of unconditional love for the rest of their lives, never having known unconditional love in childhood. The need to be accepted despite your faults is a very powerful incentive to keep searching for it outside of yourself.
They both will react childishly to any given situation as adults, because of those formative coping mechanisms. They subconsciously recreate their childhoods and procreate new victims.
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-childish-What-went-so-wrong-in-their-childhood
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How do you get over a narcissist without answers from them?
You get over a narcissist by understanding the mentality of a narcissist.
In the beginning stages of healing from narcissistic abuse, it is very important to do plenty of research on NPD and read about other people's experience in narcissistic relationships.
Importantly, when you understand that the narcissist deliberately did not give you closure in order to keep you obsessing over them, well this knowledge is your closure and you soon start to feel that this closure is enough.
You may also find yourself “trauma-bonded” with the narcissist, which is a form of addiction to them. The constant push-pull over many years altered the chemistry of your brain and created this addiction towards them, however like any chemical addiction this wears off over time. It can take several months to feel this is finally starting to leave your system, but time is your ally here.
Finally, understand that you have experienced a very negative contrasting experience with the narcissistic, which has given you the opportunity to notice several areas in which you can improve and grow yourself. Embrace the opportunities for personal growth, and become a better version of yourself!
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The answers are there you just aren’t looking. The way they treated you tells you everything you need to know. When actions and words don’t match up you trust the action. Now write everything you need to say to them on a piece of paper. Write a lot. Never send it but burn it to release that negative energy into the universe.
Cut all the cords they have attached to you. Close your eyes and picture their eyes. You should feel cords everywhere. Take a imaginary knife and cut them all. Some will be hard to get. Keep working at it. This took me months to complete. Make a list of all their negative qualities and refer to it every time you find yourself in love bomb land. Everything you hate about them down to the smallest detail.
Now make a list of everything that is positive about yourself and hang it on your fridge. Read this everyday. Now promise yourself you will never beg a man to love you again.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-get-over-a-narcissist-without-answers-from-them
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:motorbikeride: Page 24
What kinds of things did the narcissist do that showed their true colors?
Narcissist Rage. Disagree or have more knowledge on a topic for something that you've heard a narx philosophical view point on and you'll see their true colors, real quick. They know it all and you don't know shite!!!
Refuse to let a narkturd cross one of your boundaries. It will shock the living Hell out of you how they act. It is unbelievable, ridiculously over the top and over nothing!!! You'd think that you killed their kin or some sh!t, or poisoned the family pet.
They go into rages over what? I really never knew until the next day and it never made much sense, it was mostly just dramatic bullshit, maybe jealousy but it just didn't add up. The punishment didn't fit the crime, so to speak but whatever it was, it was ALWAYS my fault.
Abused our dog and ended up threatening to kill him, if I didn't stop trying to explain my side of the story. (Wasn't allowed to stand up for myself)
Silent treatments galore, which after a while, wasn't punishment at all.
He couldn’t understand how to put his narkturd self in my shoes, ever, not even in “troll dummy terms.” The simple shite that a 3 year old child could sympathize with and fully understand after you explained it to them… he acted like he didn't get it, because they are weak, and refuse to take accountability for their bullshit behavior.
It's like you’re dealing with a bratty ass little kid, who's playing dumb with you, but being a complete smartass about it but it's a grown ass person, so you want to ask this mofo, “are you that stubborn, or just stupid?” I mean, “is it that , you can't see the forest thru the trees or are you Forest Gump?”
You can't do ANYTHING but walk away shaking you're head. You will never feel content. They are bat sh!t F*cking crazy, relentless, passive aggressive, jackasses and when they get bored, they have to start shite, they have to bully someone, and after that, they wanna act like, you’re the one who's the anatomical conundrum. It's beyond draining, you get so discombobulated, you walk away and leave your soul behind.
They are “Attention Whores”, like there’s no tomorrow. “Look at me, look at me, watch this!!” Hey! Hi! I am the NarKing, I live on Planet, “I, myself, me, my", where monkeys fly, no one is allowed to talk unless it's me or about me and people are puppets. (puke)
Bye Troll!!! xoxo xoxo xoxo
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The vulgarity and evilness that oozes from their mouths 👅 and mocking the misfortune of others, not just that but the fact that the compassion for anyone or anything is completely lacking.
Wickedness at its best!
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If you are reading this then you have certainly gone through this ..you will be familiar with the fact that one day you are cock of the walk and the next day you are a feather duster.
You are atop the pedestal and in a flash, you have been thrown from it and you are lying in the dust as they stand over you berating you.
The sudden switch from hero to zero, from princess/prince to pauper, from “good person” to “bad person” is perhaps the most confusing, bewildering and upsetting part of Narcissist’s behavior. But that’s how they show their true colours.
Victims cannot comprehend why they were being feted as the love of our life on Monday and then by Tuesday they are the devil incarnate.
You were groomed, lied to, used, conditioned, triangulated manipulated, controlled, gaslighted, love bombed, devalued, discarded, smeared, emotionally abused and brainwashed by a sociopathic animal .
That sh!t Changes You …Forever …. Forever !
You are unlikely to accept it, the emotional hold of the seduction and the golden period prevents acceptance of this sudden fall from grace for a very long time.
Remember a normal person can't just turn love off - but a narcissist can turn it off as easily as they turned it on because showing love is a tool they use to manipulate and fool people !
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Words used to devalue are real nasty.
Lack of empathy shows although this may confuse you when they want to love bomb you.
Isolation attempts. Smearing family members deliberately so that I may look at my family differently.
Raging over stupid things. This was really traumatic for me. Today I cannot stand anyone screaming. I just disappear.
You need help. A narcissist just looks away. I hurt my knee seriously and still needed to care for two toddlers. He played deaf and still left me on my own. Of course my knee swelled up more and more.
Silent treatment. When he had no quick reply to explain his behavior, he would serve me silence. Or perhaps love bombing someone.
He was renting another apartment. The first time the utility bill came to my home, I thought that the utility company made a genuine mistake. The second time aroused my suspicion. Yes he tried to fool me. So I am working real hard to pay independent school fees and Mr entitlement wasting it for his many escapades.
I did have a gut feeling that he was cheating. He was real good at hiding. I tried to expose this but never found evidence. But I know that this was definitely happening.
High expectations. The minute he is parking his car should automatically mean that should be the minute food is ready to be served.
Five minutes late from work means I will be called loads of names.
The kids achieve something. All his credit. The kids on bad behavior. All my fault.
Calling me a bad mother because I work, yet he takes pleasure in spending what I earn.
Hypocrite!
Control - wanting me to stop working yet cannot give me from where the money is coming from to keep my sons in an independent school. Reality was he wanted me financially dependent on him. Please never depend financially on a narcissist. That will be your demise.
Seeking to make me jealous when in the company of other females. By the time I had my sons, I stopped caring altogether. You just get tired.
Refusing to do anything as a family. I bet many thought I was divorced a long time before.
Zero self control. This was scary stuff. You realize that this person is not able to control his anger.
So many lies and gaslighting. You catch him and he spins more lies with a straight face.
Guilt tripping. Criticizing me that the house is not spotless clean and yet he does nothing to help. But I have to manage two kids, the home and my work. Super woman!
Obligations. One tiny little chore he does means that he has built the Great wall of China for you.
Lazy. Loads of crappy talk but doing one big nothing. I think they fear the future as they are cowards deep down.
Bullying. Too many episodes.
He is sick. Life stops for everyone and we are all slaves. I get sick. Who cares?
Ugly memories and thank God I exited this horrible marriage. There is no way I would have escaped chronic illness or insanity had I stayed in this situation.
https://www.quora.com/What-kinds-of-things-did-the-narcissist-do-that-showed-their-true-colors
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Why do most narcissists
almost never say
"I Love You"?
Words are cheap, even cheaper and f*cking rubbish when coming out of narcissist’s ugly mouth.
Narcissist says whatever it takes to lure you in, foremost it means flattering language.
Narcissist says what you want to hear.
It’s easier to control you when you are manipulated.
Narcissist is selling you false hope, future or whatever the situation might be, or narc’s hidden motive.
Narcissist believes his own thoughts but he/she knows he/she is f*cking liar.
Narcissist purpose is to convince you - what matters to narcissist is that you believe
whether it’s true or not (and it’s not, narc lies as his dayjob).
Narcissist loves talking, blaa blaa blaa.
When narcissist says he/she loves you, it means he/she loves to USE you. Period.
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Saying 'I love you' throws you off guard.
It would NEVER occur to you that a person who 'loves' you would be capable of doing the things they do TO you. Usually when a narcissist says 'I love you' one of these things HAS happened or is GOING to happen.
1. You DID something for them or they are GOING to ask you TO DO something for them.
2. They have done something TO YOU or they are GOING to do something TO YOU that in no way shows 'love' for you.
3. They have either TOLD or going to TELL some other person that they have NO 'love' for you.
4. They have either acted out or are GOING TO act out in front of people as if 'love' is the last thing they have for you.
5. You did or said something that made THEM 'look good' in front of others or they are GOING TO ask or demand that you do or say something that makes THEM 'look good' in front of others. Often at the expense of you NOT 'looking good' in front of others.
A narcissist saying 'I love you' is usually either a manipulation get you to do MORE FOR THEM, a 'reward' to get you to continue DOING what you do FOR THEM, or a smoke screen to keep you from seeing what they are DOING TO YOU.
HESITATE to give a 'proper' reaction when a narcissist says 'I love you' or treat the narcissist EXACTLY the way the narcissist treats you and see how many times you hear 'I love you' from a narcissist. Withdrawing or withholding 'love' is a narcissists favorite punishment for what you DID or DID NOT DO that was of no benefit TO THEM.
They don't seem to be capable of 'loving' another person, but they are great at showing 'love' for what that person DID, is DOING, or CAN DO FOR THEM.
'Love' for what the person 'did' for them is all in the past. 'Love' for what the person 'is doing' for them is all in the moment. 'Love' for what the person 'can do' for them is the elusive and ever moving carrot on a stick that is supposed to keep the person DOING FOR THEM.
There is no doubt that a narcissist can 'love' what you did, are doing, or 'can do' FOR THEM, they just can't 'love' YOU for doing it. That would give 'YOU" too much significance instead of the significance being on the 'what' you did, are doing, or can do FOR THEM. It often seems like a narcissist is trying to brainwash you into thinking that you 'owe' them your eternal and totally unconditional 'love' because they are 'letting you' DO FOR THEM.
In return, they 'give' you 'love' that is totally conditional on what you are doing FOR THEM at that MOMENT.
They seem to 'love' the 'what' they want from a person and hate the who for HAVING the 'what' they would 'love' to HAVE for themselves. Now ain't that some confusing sh!t about 'love'.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-most-narcissists-almost-never-say-I-Love-You
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:wtf:
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What happens if you cause a narcissist injury?
You can expect a few of the following scenarios;
They will “ice you out”, become cold, emotionally removed and unreachable. Their behaviors are justified, as anything that happens to them leaves them feeling highly insulted.
They makes the rules up as they go along and don't hold themselves to the high expectations they place on others.
In extreme cases, they can become dangerous, violent and threatening. This by far, can be the most frightening outcome, as the emotional detachment, paired with the perceived “injury”, which is often blown way out of proportion leaves all logic and rational thinking out the window.
Prepare for the mind f*** of a lifetime (pardon the f* bomb, there's no other way to describe it). They will create some serious crazy making and exaggerate what happened. Mole hills to mountains is an understatement. Rest assured this will follow you for a long time coming.
Remember the world according to a narcissist turn around them. They justify their actions sometimes putting what sounds like a philosophical/self aware twist on it; calling it cause and effect, boundaries, karma and consequences of actions. It's all about controlling their environment, being right and fluctuating between extremes.
You are at their mercy, and if you wrong them you'll pay dearly.
___________________________
You become ALL BAD.
Very BAD.
Very very very BAD.
You have betrayed narcy ! you have threatened and punctured his all-consuming warped sense of entitlement.
Therefore, you deserve to be taught a lesson and severely punished by narcy.
Paranoid, fragile narcy now hates you, hates the words coming out of yr mouth, hates the ground you walk on & the air you breathe and the space you occupy.
You have triggered narcy’s rage.
Cold-hearted, unrepentant, vindictive toxic rage.
Expect to be emotionally & psychologically tortured, mentally tormented, slandered, sabotaged and discarded in the most insulting & shocking ways.
But, surprisingly (and this is the good part), all of that really has nothing to do with you.
It has everything to do with the narc’s personality disorder.
What you are witnessing after the narc “injury” is the disorder in action.
The so-called “injury” is simply the narc’s distorting & over-reacting to something most ppl wouldn’t bat an eye at.
But narcy will try to blame you.
Don’t fall for it !
Get out your little eensy violin and play some weepy tunes for the pathetic loser.
Then toss your head back and laugh, as you exit & depart forever.
___________________________
The narcissistic injury is like beating a hornet’s nest with a stick. Run for cover, no matter how crazy his reaction was, and NEVER go back.
I have answered too many questions like this. A narcissist is an insane person trying to pass for normal. There is nothing you can do to change his ways. Nothing. His brain lacks certain circuitry that you use in your life without being aware of it.
His reactions are knee-jerk reactions. He cannot help himself. He is mentally ill. Leave him alone. One day, years from now, he might question his very existence. He might even seek help.
That motivation needs to come from him. As long as you defend yourself, no matter how much truth is on your side, you will always lose and you will hate yourself for having tried. He is much more f*cked up inside than you can imagine. You cannot experience how he sees the world. Don’t try. Patience and compassion will not make a dent in him.
Leave, learn, and live.
____________________________
They sulk. Oh boy, do they sook and whine. They are miserable, and misery loves company. If they're hurt, then you will be too - they'll make sure of it.
They might try to blame someone else for their pain. They won't take any responsibility for their own role in whatever got them hurt. They want someone else to fix it, and they'll keep whining till they get their way.
______________________________
They are more likely to ‘punish’ you and then perhaps hoover. The detrimental affects on you will be harsh. Hoovering is probably the last thing to enter your head. They will react very very badly to any insult or injury you have dished out. They may go rogue to start with, but be very cautious and careful. I say this not to scare you but you need to be aware that there are usually consequences for anything you have done to them.
________________________________
In my opinion and in my own experience, a narcissist's reaction to narcissistic injury is, typically, rage (please note that rage can be either very clear to see or silent. Silent rage is still rage.), dysphoria (seemingly low and depressed) followed by inevitable revenge.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-if-you-cause-a-narcissist-injury
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_injury#:~:text=In%20psychology%2C%20narcissistic%20injury%2C%20also,their%20pride%20and%20self%2Dworth.
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Why do narcissists target you?
Because you have something they want.
Because they just Target you to destroy you because they don't like something about you.
Because they want to watch you fall from grace and realize it's because of them.
Because they want to be the reason why you want to end your life (no joke).
Because they want you to make them look good. And then they love it when you start to feel bad, have anxiety, have depression they love it as your body slowly falls apart and away from itself.
Because you have money, a nice car, a nice place to live. They want to take advantage of this situation 100% and steal everything away from you.
Because you're completely high status. They want to bring you down from that status and make you feel horrible.
Because you keep talking to them and give them lots of narcissistic supply by agreeing with everything they say.
Because you're highly empathetic.
Because they want to use you sexually.
It's all about using someone and then discarding them in the trash when they are done with you.
The reason they Hoover is they want to finish the job destroying you.
Instead let's all have a nice day by leaving all narcissists in the dust and get a cup of coffee together. Good day.
______________________________
Because you know too much- all their dirty little secrets, their lies, their sickness. You will be deemed the crazy ex just like the partners before you. The next SO will find out eventually, unless they keep their head in the sand and look the other way.
_____________________________
Narcissists are able to attach to you, but only negatively. They cannot love you, but they can definitely hate you.
Narcissists stalk you because they're envious of you.
They cannot have what you have, for you have happiness. They cannot feel happiness, it is alien to them. Instead they feel triumph, dominance, victory, superiority.
Your happiness enrages the narcissist. They see how it sustains you, protects you from hardship, draws others to you.
They cannot have it, because it comes from hardship, gratitude, humility — and these they will never yield to. They want it, but they refuse to work for it.
As they cannot have it, they must destroy you, they must triumph over you, taste victory, dominate you, crush you.
The narcissist stalks you to irritate you, disrupt you, they harass you to steal your happiness.
Allow them to irritate you, don't fight it. Take the energy and do something that will make you happy once you have completed it — it's a powerful fuel, if you can endure the initial discomfort.
Let them watch your success
let them eat their heart out,
for now you have two things they do not:
Happiness
and the ability to make happiness from sadness,
_________________________
The narcissist did not pick you at random. You were not chosen by chance. They followed a system. They followed a plan. It was a conscious decision. They singled you out. They purposefully selected you as the object of their attention.
Many victims believe that narcissists target weak people. They believe narcissists go after people who are not strong enough to withstand pressure. But that's not completely true. They target people who are easy to manipulate. But they also want their targets to be strong.
Narcissists target people based on superficial things. They pick people who are physically attractive. They pick people who are powerful, successful and important. Because they know they're going to get a lot of supply from tearing someone like that down. They're not going to get much out of tearing a person down who isn't that attractive. And doesn't have any money or success. Because then there's nothing for them to sabotage or destroy. There's nothing to fuel them to take down that type of person. Because they're already down on their luck.
Which is why there must be something on the surface that attracted the narcissist to you. And once they've gained access to your life, the progress they make depends on your boundaries. If you have weak boundaries, they're going to deceive you. And they're going to take you down. Regardless of what position you have in life. It doesn't matter if you're a doctor or a lawyer. It doesn't matter if you're a war veteran. If you don't have boundaries, they will take advantage of you.
They target people who have recently left a relationship. They target people who are going through a difficult time. Because then it makes you more susceptible to the abuse. You're more willing to tolerate it. And then they will change you at a core level. By the end of the relationship, you will be a completely different person. Because they strip you of everything that makes you who you are. They strip you of your indispensable qualities. But it's not because you were weak.
They target strong people who are in a vulnerable state. And then they exploit them while they're in that state. While they're still able to take advantage of them. But the narcissist will not let you blame them. Because they see it as though you gave them the opportunity.
You let them do it.
You let it happen.
You made it a possibility.
In their minds, you didn't have to tolerate it. You didn't have to stay with them. They see it as though you ruined your own life. Because if you didn't accept that kind of treatment, nothing would have happened to you. That's just how narcissists think. They don't see it as though they're ruining your life.
They see it as though you're doing it to yourself. As though you are the cause of anything that happens to you. Which they then use to justify their actions. Which is why the longer you stay with them, you start seeing more and more abuse.
It gets worse and worse. Until you start to lose yourself. Because you're giving everything to the narcissist. But there's no point complaining about the narcissist to the narcissist. Because they don't care.
______________________________
Narcissists seek out targets who both look good and feel good on them.
If you have what it takes to complete those parts of them which are empty, in much need of patching up, they will hone their sights in on you.
It could be that you have good social connections and financial wealth.
Or maybe you are generally giving, hardworking, and all-round competent, and they can already visualize the various ways in which you can service them and their needs.
Or perhaps you have a genuine warm personality who wants the best for people, and you build good relationships with people easily and are viewed favorably by your peers and the community more at large.
The latter is an interesting one, because narcissists so often want to come across as nice, caring, empathic, and they never quite manage to pull it off.
If they can become close to you, they might feel that through their association with you, people might finally start to see them in the favorably light under which they aspire to be seen.
Not to mention, they directly benefit from your good nature.
While the narcissist may gain, you, the target, should be careful. No-one owes it to themself to be used. So keep the following principle in mind –
When you are getting close to someone new, just make sure you are receiving back roughly what you are putting out. Keep an eye on the “give-and take meter”, make sure it is broadly in balance.
And when someone starts taking much more than they give, consistently, time to sign out.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-target-you
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What is it like being in a relationship with a narcissist?
Horrific beyond any imagining.
Of course, the start is beautiful and wonderful and everything you never thought you’d have. And then? And then it becomes a walk through the 7th circle of hell. But by that time, it’s hard to even know what’s going on - those of us at the receiving end start to tell ourselves stories which are totally distorted (there must be something wrong with me; I’m such a terrible person that even a monster can treat me badly; I am worthless…)
Some who have never experienced this kind of relation-shite may minimise the survivor’s experience - not because they’re insensitive, but because they’ve never gone through it (thank God). The only people who can truly understand the impact are those who have been through it. We are tribe.
There are no winners in a narcissistically abusive relationship; the narc goes on their merry way to screw up another person’s life, and we, the survivors, end up with myriad issues including, for some, PTSD. One never comes out the other side without having sustained significant losses - financially, spiritually, physically, socially, psychically.
BUT - and here is the gem - the survivor is given a chance to build a life which is better than the one they had before. I am grateful for the lessons the narc taught me; I am worth more than abuse, my track record of getting through shite is 100%, my garden is growing back after being burned to the felafeling ground.
The narc will never learn from what they do - they will continue to live shallow, ineffectual, sad lives.
So, while it’s utter hell, if we do the work to heal post-discard, life is astonishingly beautiful. I would urge anyone who has been through this to embrace the opportunity to be your best self despite the work it takes to get there.
____________________________
A relationship with a narcissist is highly exploitative, abusive, rife with heinous levels of deceit, acts of serial infidelity, manipulation and crazy making.
Narcissists are exceedingly parasitic, charlatans and exploit their partners at every turn. This provides them with narcissistic supply at your expense. There will be no reciprocity on the narcissist’s part and a complete and utter lack of care for your needs, emotional and physical well-being. You’ll give to a fault and invest in what you believed was true love and authenticity.
This could manifest in emotional / financial investment, plans for the future that will never come to fruition and maybe even moving in with the narcissist at break neck speed. They need to lock you down before you spot the red flags. The more entangled you become, the narcissist knows it will be harder for you to leave.
In the initial love bombing stage, the predatory narcissist will be on their best behaviour, keeping their mask firmly in place as they rope you deeper into the relationship. You’ll be under the impression that the narcissist could be the love of your life as they shower you with attention, adoration and “loving” compliments.
The narcissist’s sole intent with their love bombing campaign is to hook you in before devaluation sets in. Narcissists know that most prospective supplies would run for the hills if they show their true insidious and deplorable intentions at first. Hence the narcissist’s charm offensive which nothing could be further from authentic. The narcissist knows they need to lock you down in order to get their elixir known as narcissistic supply.
Some of you have seen this list before, others may have not. However, when you enter the devaluation phase in a narcissistic relationship, here is what to expect and the atrocities you’ll be subjected to:
Manipulation, exploitation, gaslighting.
Pathological lying / deceit.
Leading doubles lives.
Infidelity; promiscuity, serial cheating, having hidden dating profiles and hookup apps across multiple platforms.
Physical health; subjecting you to the possibility of contracting a raft of STDs as they feign exclusivity while banging tf out of multiple sex partners simultaneously throughout your relationship.
Blame shifting, sidestepping accountability for their countless misdeeds and betrayals.
Addictions; drugs, alcohol, pornography, compulsive masturbation, sex and / or gambling.
Financial abuse.
Triangulation; introducing third parties into the relationship to create jealousy.
Verbal abuse, put downs, shaming and blaming.
Intimacy avoidance / withdrawal.
Shirking domestic responsibilities; failing to maintain the home, clean, cook, shop for groceries or pay bills - they’ll expect all this from you.
Intermittent dosing; when you’re into devaluation, you’ll be sprinkled with reminders of how they were during the love bombing phase to keep you in the game and supply them with zero fs given and no reciprocity.
Future faking; promising you a bright future with no intent on following through.
Grooming and lining up your replacement at a time of their choosing - this doesn’t include the string of infidelities prior to the new replacement being found.
Smear campaigning; playing the victim, trashing your good name to anyone who will listen to illicit sympathy to set the storyline in place for their discard.
Duper’s delight; the feeling of power and control they get to sadistically gratify themselves when they deceive you relentlessly. This gives them a sense of power and control over you and the relationship dynamic.
As you can see, narcissists are highly dangerous individuals to become emotionally involved with. The second your supply begins to become predictable and less potent, the narcissist will actively seek your replacement. You aren’t making the grade for them anymore despite your back breaking efforts to recapture who they were during the love bombing phase - which will likely never return.
Narcissists are the epitome of social sewage bottom feeders and the only way their appalling abuse and betrayals can be stopped is to exit the relationship, block, go no contact and slowly start your journey to recovery without the dead weight of the narcissist pulling you down deeper to the depths of misery you never dreamed possible.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-to-people-in-relationships-with-narcissists
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.
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:tello: "At the risk of sounding like a narc...this is about me, what I'm dealing with".
Is it harder for a narcissist to discard someone they’ve been with for a long time or does it not bother them at all?
The length of the relationship doesn’t bother them at all, it’s the person they are in a relationship with. They can leave a +30 years marriage for (an online sl*t) With no regrets if that **** is meeting their needs and satisfying them.
It's the value of the supply, satisfaction, adrenaline, youth, positivity, attention, sex, money, place, they get from the person.
And no one is ever enough for them, they will use a person until drained and go search for a fresh one to suck the life out of them.
_______________________________
Time has nothing to do with it. If you are providing things the narcissist requires, he will keep you around , especially if he is able to do whatever he likes behind your back and you are oblivious to it. The narcissist often likes a long term partner to project an image of a perfect relationship to the world, but behind closed doors he is always looking for new supply and most likely cheating on the long term partner
What makes a narcissist discard you is the finding of another supply who has more to offer, who will also never question what the narcissist is doing, and will supply the narcissist with the validation and admiration he requires at all times. The narcissist will discard you if he gets bored , if you fall ill , or if and when he so decides for whatever other reason.
A narcissist has no empathy or feelings whatsoever, so discarding someone they have been with for a long time means nothing to them, especially if they think the grass is greener elsewhere.
__________________________
Discard is not the leaving / ending / walking away that a NORMAL person does, which includes talks, grief, sadness blah blah
You can still break up with a narc and get discarded.
The discard is a combo of flipping the script and becoming an absolute nobody to them after some epic bad treatment, triangulation, as if the r/s/ marriage/ shite show never really existed.
So back to your question:
No, they discard you as if you are their worst enemy, you will be shock and awed at the treatment you get, even after you do the leaving. NOTHING is normal with these folks from beginning to end, to after end.
He reversed the MF script as if he was leaving me.. it was so felafelled up i had to refer back to my divorce papers to see who was plaintiff and who was defendant.
However, he had no intention of ending this…. it was all in my hands to try to save it, and all in my hands to walk away. i had a 20 year relationship with myself, and him as the ghost of the devil.
___________________________
No it doesn't bother them at all. No good memories, no hard struggles that you and your narc went through together could prevent them from discarding you.
The only way to keep them with you is if you are useful to them, in the sense you meet their expectations, idealizations, etc.
They are unable to love anybody unconditionally because their empathy is impaired. They have terms and conditions for their partners to live by. If you fail just 1 criteria, you're out.
Narcs are capable of feeling hurt, and if you hurt them, you're out as well. Even if you didn't intend to hurt them. Their empathy is only for themselves.
Learn from other people's experience, if you spot a narc, run as far as you can. If you don't want to spend your life being tortured emotionally because mind games are their thing.
I knew this one person who displayed at least 85%-90% of the cluster B traits (BPD, NPD, APD - psychopathy and sociopathy mostly, and I suspect he's a malignant narc), he was so keen on playing mind games. One minute he's friendly, next he'd ignore me for no apparent reason, while 5 minutes ago he laughed and joked with me. He might not be aware of the games he played but he definitely enjoyed it.
He was hell to deal with.
Don't waste more time. Just go away and leave before your narc exhausts you.
____________________________________
This question implies that the N cares about a relationship in terms other than supply. For certain, the N cares about nothing other than maintaining their own position of grandiosity, superiority and power. Relationships provide the N with supply which stroke and reinforce the N’s grandiose feelings.
The N is skilled at juggling multiple sources of supply simultaneously, whilst making each supply feel unique and special. The N will discard a supply instantly if the supply doesn’t cooperate. To the N, the entire world is supply waiting for them to tap.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-harder-for-a-narcissist-to-discard-someone-they-ve-been-with-for-a-long-time-or-does-it-not-bother-them-at-all
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What would make a narcissist happy with his or her significant other?
Nothing. The answer is nothing.
The narcissist's needs/wants/desires/expectations are constantly changing. True happiness will never be found.
However, they most definitely get their kicks out of making their victim squirm.
They love holding power over you and making you look and feel weak.
They love to criticize and insult.
They love to embarrass you.
They love to lie to and about you.
They love to make you feel like you are nothing.
They love gaslighting you…blame-shifting.
They love to cheat and not get caught.
They love to cheat and get caught…because “What are YOU gonna do about it?!?”
They love to make you feel absolutely crazy.
They love to make threats.
They love to isolate you.
They love to make you apologize to them for something that was completely and clearly their fault.
They love to run away from responsibility.
They love to make others pay for their actions.
They love to not take responsibility for any of their actions.
They love control.
They love dominance.
The only way to avoid any of this is to not allow them to hold that power…unfortunately, you're head over heels in love with the persona they've played so far. They LOVE when they realize that they've ‘got you' and they can now transition from the love bombing to the crazy-making. They've got you all set up in their web, and it's time for the spider to start coming out.
It's SO very easy to fall for their games. They present themselves to you as absolutely everything you've ever wanted…and more. You're too busy oodling over them to realize that they are too good to be true.
We all know the warning, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.” Well what if you've been single and lonely for years, just waiting for God to answer your prayers and send you the ‘one' you've been waiting for. Then randomly, you meet this person who you have SO much in common with.
They may even have a few minor flaws, but you justify those because everything else about them is A-MAZING…and you truly believe that THIS is your answer to all those prayers. THIS is who you've been waiting for all of your life.
…and you're hooked. In love with the complete stranger you've gotten to know…having NO idea that THIS isn't who they are AT ALL.
That's what they love.
That's who they are…and that's what makes them happy.
God bless anyone who has ever been a narcissist's pawn. God bless their children. God bless all of those falling for one right now. God bless all of those going through ANY stage of the game. You're life will be forever changed.
https://www.quora.com/Who-is-a-narcissist-happy-with-1
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They see you as an object. An object to use (that´s all).
What the Narcissist Really Sees When They Look at You - It's Disgusting!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQcln-mEqCo
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It’s always about what the Narcissist lost or is losing, rather than about the pain they were causing.
C.S. Lewis Reveals: The Hidden Danger of Narcissists Among Us
Welcome to C.S. Lewis Insights, your premier source for exploring the profound wisdom and timeless teachings of C.S. Lewis. In this video, we delve into C.S. Lewis Reveals: The Hidden Danger of Narcissists Among Us, uncovering the rich layers of meaning and insight that Lewis has to offer. Whether you're a long-time admirer of his work or new to his writings, our content is designed to provide deep, thoughtful analysis and inspire your faith journey. Join us as we explore the literary and theological legacy of one of the most influential thinkers of the 20th century.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zJip-HGBTE
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What does a narcissistic smirk mean?
It is a look of evilness, inhumanity, and smug superiority that is not grounded in reality.
It is a distinct look you do not forget and you know this person making it at you is not human and manipulating you.
Narcissists have a contempt for other people that is distinct to them and being in the presence of someone who does not respect you and wants to do you harm if intimidating and life-threatening.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissistic-smirk-mean
The narcissistic stare and narcissistic smirk
@NewtralHuman
1 year ago (edited)
The smirk and grin literally looks like demonic contempt!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fve5iO5xZDo&t=178s
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Why do narcissistic people fake apologies?
Whatever narc does, please always remember, it’s not for you, it’s solely for his / her benefit.
Why they fake apologies?
In my case, to get rid of me because his mask is now known to me and he’s afraid everyone knows the truth about him.
Gaslighting. To make you believe everything is okay, not a problem, when it’s not. He will still do the same treatment to you. Lying, manipulating, gaslighting, cheating, abusing.
To tell others, that he has apologized. His image should stay as a good person, isn’t it?
Please refer to my initial sentences, whatever they do, it’s for their benefit only, including apologizing.
A narc has no ability to self-reflect. How then he can apologize if at the first place, he doesn’t feel any remorse? If no remorse and not followed by changing behavior, how could it be an apology?
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Because they can. It's just part of being a narcissist. One of their greatest talents is their ability to revise history and put the blame on you.
This is because another trait of narcissism is an absolute refusal to accept responsibility for their own mistakes.
Right after they do something egregious to you and it blows up in their face, they will panic about possibly losing you. At that point, you may get the most sincere apology you have ever heard. They might even shed a few crocodile tears to reinforce their regrets.
You are likely to believe them because how could anyone fake that kind of humble sincerity.
Hah!!!!! The narcissist got you once again. This is part of their smoke and mirrors routine. Once you accept that heartfelt apology and forgive them, they will become complacent. And why wouldn't they? They now know how easy it is to dupe you.
After a short time, it annoys them that they have taken the blame for something. It doesn't make sense since they are superior to you in every way. This is when they decide to amp things up by gaslighting you to make you accept responsibility.
The scary thing is that you can never be sure if they are just lying about their version of the event or if they have actually convinced themselves that it really happened that way.
My ex once lashed out at me a week after giving me a heartfelt apology and began ranting that it was actually all my fault. I whipped out the recording I had made of the entire fight which refuted his claim.
He listened to it with steam coming out of his ears, called me nasty names for recording him, threw his phone at me and stormed out of the house. But, he never brought that particular subject up again.
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Narcissistic individuals may fake apologies for several reasons:
Manipulation: They often seek to manipulate others to maintain control over a situation or to avoid the consequences of their actions. A fake apology can serve as a tool to disarm someone and regain power.
Self-Preservation: Narcissists may apologize insincerely to protect their self-image or avoid criticism. They prioritize their reputation and may feign remorse to appear more favorable in the eyes of others.
Lack of Empathy: Many narcissists struggle to genuinely empathize with others. Their apologies may lack sincerity because they do not fully understand or care about the impact of their actions on others.
Desire for Validation: A fake apology can be a way to elicit forgiveness or validation from others without taking responsibility for their behavior. They may want to maintain relationships or avoid isolation.
Avoiding Conflict: Sometimes, narcissists may issue fake apologies simply to diffuse tension or conflict, allowing them to move on without having to engage in deeper accountability or change.
Understanding these motivations can help individuals recognize insincere apologies and navigate interactions with narcissistic individuals more effectively.
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The only reason for the constant apologies would be to pacify you momentarily and then move on like it never happened until the next apology. If the narcissist is so sorry why do they continue to repeat the same behaviors only adding insult to injury by apologizing for actions that they intentionally do and are not sorry for, empty apologies have no substance or genuine feelings for anyone accept for themselves, don't listen to their words just watch their actions and that will show you who they are, they are very good at manipulation and convincing you that you are the problem even though their actions are very plain to see but their words are just that: words.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissistic-people-fake-apologies
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What does a narcissist apology sound like?
NO ONE knows. They’ve never heard one…boom boom…!
Seriously though, this is how it goes.
Me: ‘you did something wrong and its hurt my feelings / f*cked my life up’.
Narc: *hours of denial and changing the subject and ‘accidentally’ missing the point*
Me: (sticking to my guns), ‘yes, I hear you, but you still hurt my feelings / f*cked my life up’.
Narc: (seeing I’m not gonna back down), ‘yeah well, I’ve been under a lot of strain lately cos of my job / ex / financial worries / serious medical issues / the stock market / any other excuse, and I’ve been very depressed / considering suicide / emigrating, so my minds just been elsewhere’…*boo-hoo poor me*.
Me: (empath), ‘oh, I didn’t realise you were depressed / really ill / suicidal / bankrupt’ (starting to feel a tad guilty for mentioning MY feelings).
Narc: *passive aggressive sniff* ‘oh, it’s OK, it’s just that I struggle sometimes with all this stuff I have to deal with, and, like, when you attack me like this, it just makes everything SOOO much WORSE…!’ (starts to eye knife block in kitchen for suitable implement to cut wrists with).
Me: ‘oh my god! I mean, sorry, sorry, NO! I wasn’t having a go at you! Look, let’s just leave it, OK? i’m really really sorry I’ve upset you! God, I feel awful! (wishing I’d never opened my mouth and feeling dreadful).
Narc: (piously)’ that’s ok, I just, you know, I’m sensitive’ *wipes away an imaginary tear*.
Me: ‘look, don’t worry about me, I’m fine, let me cook you dinner. You have a nice warm bath and I’ll pour you a glass of wine. Love you!’.
Narc: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
THAT is how it goes, generally, til you remove your head from your ass.
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No matter how big or how small the offense, narcs do not apologize. They're never wrong. They never behave badly. In their minds the worst possible crime they could be guilty of is trusting that you would grasp their awesomeness. They're the ones whose worst trait is that they “love too much” or “give too much.” [Insert eye roll here]
If you ever hear a narcissist apologize, and that's a big if, it will sound like
“I'm sorry you feel like I hurt your feelings.”
“I'm sorry that I forget you're more sensitive than other people.”
“I'm sorry that you can't handle being wrong.”
“I'm sorry there's so much going on in your life right now but this can't all be about me.”
“I'm sorry I didn't just step back into line like everybody else does around you.”
“I'm sorry you don't believe me.”
It's much more likely that if they've offended you they'll just stare at you for a moment then turn around and walk away, often while you're still talking. They'll disappear for a while then when they're back in your space they'll make small talk about dinner or TV like nothing ever happened.
Then if you bring up the thing that just happened, they'll say “I already apologized for that” which in Narcanese translates to “I gave you time and space to cool off. I feel great. You should feel great too.”
The exception to this rule is that if they haven't worked out their safety net (the next person) they'll have to say whatever keeps you with them because they cannot be alone. Without someone on the other side of the see-saw they don't know who to be.
That apology will sound exactly like a real apology. But be careful…the apology was made under duress.
Think about the stories you've heard of home intruders or kidnap victims. Many of the escape stories involve the victims telling the perps that they understand them, they're on their side, they promise they won't go to the police.
Or think about when we watch a movie and a protagonist, with a gun held to their head, says 'you'd better kill me because I'm going straight to the police’ and as viewers we're yelling at the TV “You're gonna get yourself killed! Why wouldn't you just play along!?” That's because in life or death situations we recognize the need to say whatever it takes to make it out alive.
A narcs emergency assessment dial isn't set to life-or-death. It's set to comfort. So just like the way you might promise a home invader that you won't call the police and then run to your phone the minute the invader can't see you, the narc will say the necessary words then go back on all of them the moment he feels it's safe to do so.
That apology would include all the elements of an apology that you use to gauge sincerity. Just know that a person who meant their apology would at least try to keep it. If it looks like they're not even trying, they're not. Run away.
In the case of a kidnapping, the rule is never let them take you to the second location. In the case of the narc, never let them take you to the second apology. Once the apology-averse narc has given you the first “sincere” apology and gone back on it, you can bet this will be your future. Get out before they do it again.
They will do it again.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-apology-sound-like
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10 Most Wicked Ways the Covert Narcissist Tries to Trigger You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLayEHNefRA
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The 10 Cruelest Ways a Narcissist Controls You
With Fear
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3UUEG5pmXY
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The Biggest Signs of Disrespect by a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NycJPfUwxpY
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Thermostat
Yahoo
/
1 Sherry
Ron Tello
From:
m86thecat@yahoo.com
To:
Sherry Kopack
Thu, Sep 5, 2024 at 6:23 AM
https://www.zoro.com/cadco-thermostat-30194ec/i/G402281950/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=surfaces&utm_campaign=shopping%20feed&utm_content=free%20google%20shopping%20clicks&campaignid=21460994824&productid=G402281950&v=&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjw8rW2BhAgEiwAoRO5rNnfGlcfEDEAUgqEtVbZPgkecDSiR1KAeavupBPY1LKo8w_Pa4FaqRoCm6oQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
What about propane?
-R
From:Sherry Kopack
xxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com
To: Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
Fri, Sep 6, 2024 at 10:23 AM
Is the thermostat for the buddy heater that I bought for you last year? If it is, why did the thermostat go out after only one winter of use?
Bob Wells has made negative comments about those buddy heaters. I don't remember what propane heater he says is better. But if the cost of the thermostat is under $20., I suppose I can get it.
You need to report to James about all that you do, and the hours you have put in. The hours must add up to 5 hours a week. James will be taking photos of your completed jobs. Please keep a list. James and I are creating a list of everything you need to keep up on. You say you don't know what all you can do when you finish the jobs?
Some of these jobs are an ongoing one. Pine needles are always falling. Please keep them cleaned up. When I come up there once a month, I expect to see that the jobs are done. You must keep up with the snow shoveling as well. I don't want to come up there and walk on top of snow that has not been shoveled. Please keep the pump uncovered from snow as well.
When you can prove to me that the jobs are being done, then I will pay for your propane once a month, on the first.
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Landlord Obligations for Habitable Premises - The Basic California Law
In California a landlord is required to provide a safe living environment for the tenants and the law has been established under the California Civil Code. The failure of a landlord to provide such conditions can lead to violation of the law and impose civil and, at times, even criminal liability upon the landlord. This article shall outline the requirements imposed.
The Basic Law:
Under the California Civil Code, landlords of a property must ensure that certain conditions are met which make the living space habitable and safe for potential lessees.
These conditions include ensuring proper electric, gas, and plumbing utilities, heating as well as installing proper locks and security systems. If a landlord fails to meet these requirements, the lessee has the option of deducting the costs of repair from his rent or vacating the premises with no constraints. A landlord can also be held liable for certain breaches of security that occur on his property, if the unsafe condition or act could have been foreseen or prevented.
https://www.stimmel-law.com/en/articles/landlord-obligations-habitable-premises-basic-california-law
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Must a Landlord Provide Heat in California?
By Kim Dieter,ContributorUpdated Dec 14, 2018 1:42 a.m.
Before the tenancy begins, a landlord ensures the rental unit has a working heating system.
California landlords have a legal duty to look after the well being of their tenants by ensuring the rental property is fit for human habitation. Part of this obligation is making sure you are not too cold in winter. Generally, the landlord must supply heating to the main rooms and keep the heating system working. If you do something to break the system, however, the repair cost is down to you.
Tip
A landlord is obligated to provide tenants with a way to heat their home during cold weather.
https://screm.com/are-landlords-required-to-provide-heat-in-california/
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THE CRIME OF ELDER ABUSE IN CALIFORNIA - PC 368
Elder abuse is covered under California Penal Code Section 368. It covers a wide array of criminal offenses that may occur in different situations.
Victims who are 65 years or older are given special protections as abuse of seniors have increased dramatically in Southern California.
In fact, the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office has a separate elder abuse unit that specializes in aggressive investigation and prosecution of these types of cases, which is commonly known as senior abuse. It's important to note the victim does not have to be a senior citizen, but only a dependant.
The law provides protection to any dependant adult who has mental or physical limitations that would impair their ability to perform daily normal activities. In most cases, defendants of an elder abuse case are a family member or a caregiver.
Elder abuse can occur in different ways, including:
physical,
mental, or
financial fraud.
It's a criminal offense to willfully cause or allow an elder or dependent individual to suffer unjustifiable pain.
This means that an individual does not have directly abuse an elder. If they are the caregiver and knowingly allows an elder to be abused, they could be charged with elder abuse.
Physical abuse is causing pain or injuries of an elderly victim, such as any type of:
abrasions,
bruises,
fractures, or
burns.
Physical abuse also includes neglect, abduction, abandonment, or sexual abuse.Emotional abuse is any type of mental suffering, such as ridicule or isolation.
A common example in Los Angeles County would include a situation where a caregiver refuses to allow an elderly person to have contact with other people.
Financial abuse includes stealing, embezzlement and defrauding an elder's property, such as forgery or identity theft.
Elder abuse can be filed as a misdemeanor or felony offense, depending on the specific circumstances and the defendant's criminal history.
There are numerous scenarios where you could be charged with elder abuse, but it typically includes situations where you are accused of taking advantage, neglecting, or abusing an elderly person under your care.
It also includes allowing this to happen. Elder abuse is often domestic violence related.
If you are facing accusations of abusing an elder, you need to contact a Los Angeles criminal defense lawyer at Eisner Gorin LLP immediately.
Don't make any statements to police detectives as you may incriminate yourself. Our lawyers need to closely examine the allegations and specific circumstances in order to start developing an effective defense strategy.
Let's take a closer look at the legal definition, penalties, and potential legal defenses for elder abuse below.
CALIFORNIA PENAL CODE SECTION 368 – ELDER ABUSE
Under California Penal Code Section 368, which is listed as crimes against elders and dependant adults, elder abuse is legally defined as follows:
Any individual who knows, or reasonably should know, that an elder or dependent adult who, under circumstances likely to produce great bodily harm or death, willfully causes or allows an elder or dependent adult to suffer or inflict unjustifiable physical pain or mental suffering, or having care or custody of any elder or dependent adult, willfully causes or allows the person or health of the elder be injured, or willfully causes or allows the elder or dependent to be placed in a situation in which their health is endangered, is punishable by imprisonment in a county jail for up to one year, a fine up to $6,000, or both, or sentenced to state prison for up to four years.
In order to be convicted of elder abuse, the Los Angeles County prosecutor has to be able to prove, beyond any reasonable doubt, certain elements of the crime. These elements include:
The victim was at least 65 years old, or
You knew or should have reasonably known the alleged victim was at least 65 years old at the time of the abuse
You willfully caused unjustified physical pain or mental suffering on the victim or allowed another person to do so
Your actions occurred under circumstances that could have endangered the health or life of the elder
The term “willfully” means it was on purpose or deliberate. Unjustifiable pain or mental suffering means causing some type of pain that is not necessary, or that is excessive under the specific circumstances.
Circumstances that could have endangered the health or likely to produce great bodily harm means a significant physical injury.
However, it's not necessary that the elder actually suffered a great bodily injury, only that they were placed in a situation where it could have happened.
It's important to make note here that a prosecutor can only convict you if you had a legal duty to act.
https://www.egattorneys.com/domestic-violence/elder-abuse#:~:text=Penal%20Code%20368%20PC%20elder,may%20occur%20in%20different%20situations.
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Narcissists listen to Satan but believe they are God, hence, those who question them are considered blasphemous and deserve to be punished.
7 Lies Satan Whispers to a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VxMmAKAZWU
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A repeated pattern of hurting or annoying someone isn't a mistake - it's a decision.
5 Dumb Demonic Things Narcissists Do To Annoy You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC7zuTNqlqU
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Narcissist people are
very weak. Is it all part of an act?
Narcissists are weak people with and are slaves of their own ego. Narcissists are weak and needy people who can't survive without using people. Narcissists are parasitic in nature; they need to feed on people's emotions, energy, and other things to regulate their self-esteem.
When narcissists don't get what they want, they'll throw tantrums to get their needs met. It's easy to hurt narcissists because they are very sensitive to their own feelings and have a fragile ego. Narcissists main agenda is to use and abuse people to look powerful. Narcissists also suffer from other mental conditions. Narcissists are so weak that they can't resist the temptation to cheat or control their other needs.
Even if narcissists are unaffected by people's emotions, if something doesn't go their way, then get ready for their childish tantrums.
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They don't do any of the things they're supposed to when faced with a simple issue so they of course have no adaptation nor tolerance for such. They simply don't see doing things they see as degrading (thinking things through, apologizing, getting over things, shutting up, telling the truth etc, other simple human things) as an option.
They know they can and should but refuse to and will do everything in their power not to. Not being able to get their way by whichever malicious means makes them angry as they go into narc collapse. Its not an act, it's the consequence of being an extremely self absorbed malicious power greedy idiot who refuses to do things that they deem beneath them.
https://thedarkworldofnarcissistbysevinc.quora.com/Narcissist-people-are-very-weak-Is-it-all-part-of-an-act
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Why do narcissists start to hate you for no reason?
They might hate you for several reasons:
They hate themselves.
You have real happiness, which they don’t.
They’re jealous of everything about you: your life, upbringing, success, choices, friends, and family.
They have negative thoughts in their heads that make them feel bad about themselves, and they take it out on you.
Their Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) makes them bitter and hateful, so they end up hating you.
When you spend time with a narcissist, you’ll notice they’re often angry, unhappy, and full of hate. It’s just who they are. As the saying goes, "Haters gonna hate." Narcissists are haters, all the time.
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The narc doesn’t hate you, he hates himself. He hates what he can’t have. He hates the qualities and the character that you behold, the ones he’ll never have. He hates the life you live, your friends, your personality, wisdom, your family, and pretty much anything that pertains to you. Why? Because he would love to be in your shoes, but CAN NEVER WEAR YOUR SHOES!!!.
He knows that and it hates you for that very reason.
________________________________
Because they are simply toxic. They don’t care about anyone, and they get jealous for no reason. It’s best to avoid narcissists at all costs. They think they are better than anyone else but in reality, they are worthless.
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Because Narcissists are evil. Period.
Evil is irrational and destructive. That is the substance of evil.
We may want to continue asking “Why…?”, “But…” and the line of questions would lead nowhere, because our questions are rational. Evil is a dead-end street. It destroys for no reason. It can only be described and labeled in metaphysical terms, but can never be understood from a rational and ethical point of view.
Evil makes no sense, but has always been there.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-start-to-hate-you-for-no-reason
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What kind of parents cause narcissism?
Narcissism can develop in response to abandonment or neglect at an early age. The child has no guides to help him develop past early stages where children are naturally narcissistic. The person simply never matures past this stage due to the wounding that occurred.
In a sense they are frozen in time from an emotional development standpoint. If you consider the behavior of an infant and compare this to the behavior of an adult narcissist you will see the parallels pretty easily.
It can also occur when parents are neglectful but also spoil the child. For example the parents are always too busy or simply emotionally disconnected from the child, but will purchase gifts and toys for the child to keep them occupied. The child gets the message that they are entitled to have whatever they want as a substitute for love. Regardless of how much you try to connect with the narcissist as an adult they are unable to connect with you. But they will expect you to provide them with whatever they happen to want.
It can also occur when growing up within a narcissistic dynamic. The narcissistic parent will generally pick a scapegoat and a golden child. They will project their shame onto the scapegoat who will frequently grow up to be a codependent. The golden child will be held up on a pedestal, but expected to succeed in accordance to the narcissist vision, and never loved for themselves.
Oftentimes the golden child is the one who will become narcissistic. The golden child got the narcissists approval and attention but only when they behaved like the parent expected them to. Since the narcissistic parent thinks being a narcissist is the perfect way to be the golden child will learn how to behave like a narcissist. When not behaving like a narcissist the golden child will receive criticism.
They are never able to develop their independent identity and since the narcissistic parent can change the rules at will they are always looking to the parent for instructions on how to be.
In order to survive a narcissistic parent a person must practice self abandonment. Their only purpose is to serve the parents needs. This situation causes deep shame because the child is taught that their natural self is abhorrent and unlovable. As the person grows older they will develop a number of coping strategies and deploy defensive strategies to protect themselves from this shame.
In the case of the golden child behaving in a way which mirrored the parent earned them the acceptance of the narcissistic parent, so it is a defense mechanism they will continue to employ. The scapegoat child also carries this shame but their defensive strategies leave more room for self reflection.
When the golden child is reflecting the narcissistic parent there is no room for self reflection because the narcissistic parent is already perfect and any suggestion that they are not will send them into a rage, which is by all means something that the children learned to avoid doing.
https://www.quora.com/What-kind-of-parents-cause-narcissism
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What Is Narcissistic Stonewalling?
Alright, let's get into it. You want to know about narcissistic stonewalling? Fine. Brace yourself, because this is a serious topic that has real consequences for your mental health and relationships.
First off, narcissistic stonewalling is all about CONTROL. It's straight-up emotional warfare, carefully orchestrated by someone who thinks they’re the center of the damn universe.
This isn’t your average, run-of-the-mill silent treatment you might get during an argument. No, this is a calculated, manipulative tactic used by narcissists to dominate you. It’s a psychological chokehold, meant to leave you gasping for any scrap of attention or approval they might toss your way.
Imagine you're having a disagreement or even just trying to communicate — it doesn't matter what the topic is. The narcissist will shut down, give you the cold shoulder, or disappear altogether. They won't respond to your calls or texts, they'll ignore your presence, and they'll watch as you squirm, get frustrated, or even beg for a reaction. This is PREDATORY.
Why do they do it? CONTROL. It’s all about making you feel insignificant and powerless. They want to destabilize you mentally and emotionally until you start questioning your own sanity. This is not just some random behavior; it's a power play designed to keep you on edge, doubting yourself, and dependent on their validation.
And let me tell you, it's toxic as hell. It erodes your self-esteem, makes you feel unworthy, and can lead you straight into a tailspin of anxiety and depression. Trust me, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, and recognizing it is the first step to breaking free from it.
So, what should you do? Simple. As soon as you recognize narcissistic stonewalling, DON'T take the bait. Don’t let them see you sweat. Distance yourself if you have to and surround yourself with positive influences who genuinely care about you. And remember, you have the power to walk away from toxic situations like that. Hold your ground, value yourself, and don't put up with this manipulative garbage.
Life’s too short to be anyone’s emotional punching bag. Make a stand. Get out if you have to, and reclaim your power.
There you go — raw, unfiltered, and to the point. No sugar-coating here. You wanted to know about narcissistic stonewalling? Now you do. Use this knowledge to protect yourself and live strong.
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Stonewalling is the opposite of cooperation, but has built in plausible deniability, so it’s a favorite tool of any narcissist.
Imagine you want to put in a garden bed. Your reasoning is sound and most importantly, it would bring you satisfaction and joy. You work diligently, collecting wood to build a raised bed, research your soil and buy seeds. You get your starts going, and go buy everything you need.
Your narcissist partner ignores your project for the most part, but makes a few disparaging comments. At some point you ask for help to cart the soil from the driveway to the garden bed. Your narc had said he would help, but now that the time has come, he’s dragging his feet (stonewalling 101). He finally makes it to the driveway, and even though he’s there to “help and support” he immediately starts criticizing all your efforts.
The raised bed isn’t right, your soil amendments are wrong, where are you planting the tomatoes, and on and on and on, until all of your enthusiasm is drained and your joy in creating something useful has been completely crushed. Even a saint would want to erupt or just throw in the towel and walk away.
Meanwhile, your narc is smirking and enjoying your frustration. Ultimately, you end up asking your girlfriend to come help you.
Why are they like this?
Because destroying your dream gives them all the supply they crave. And if you call them out, the fight that follows gives them even more supply. And they’ll use the plausible deniability to say “What!? I was only trying to help!”
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Its passive-aggressive childlike behavior.
Low EQ.
A healthy adult will communicate even if needing a few days to cool off. The toddler runs away.
I was subjected to “ the lesson” so I would “get it” and the abuse and trauma it caused because I didn't. I rewarded it until I understood what “it “ was. He would not communicate with me at all. Just silence.
“It” was not me. “It” was a damaged man who did not have empathy or respect for others. The lesson was a degree in abnormal psychology.
Narcissistic stonewalling is a manipulative tactic often used by individuals with narcissistic personality disorder. It is a form of emotional abuse where the narcissist completely shuts down and refuses to engage in any meaningful communication or discussion. This can leave the other person feeling frustrated, confused, and invalidated.
When a narcissist engages in stonewalling, they essentially build a wall around themselves and refuse to let anyone in. They may ignore your attempts to communicate, give you the silent treatment, or dismiss your concerns and feelings without any consideration. It can be an incredibly isolating and damaging experience for the person on the receiving end. The purpose of narcissistic stonewalling is for the narcissist to maintain control and power in the relationship.
By refusing to engage in communication, they are able to avoid any accountability or responsibility for their actions.
It is a way for them to manipulate and exert dominance over their partner or those around them.
Stonewalling can be particularly harmful because it undermines healthy communication and prevents the resolution of conflicts. It creates a toxic dynamic where the narcissist holds all the power and the other person is left feeling unheard and unimportant. Over time, this can lead to a breakdown in the relationship and significant emotional distress for the victim.
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who engages in narcissistic stonewalling, it is important to recognize the signs and take steps to protect yourself. Here are some strategies to consider:
Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder and the tactics that narcissists use. Understanding their behaviors can help you detach emotionally and see through their manipulation.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the narcissist and communicate your expectations for respectful communication. This may involve stating what behavior is unacceptable and what consequences will occur if those boundaries are crossed.
Seek support: Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide emotional support and guidance. Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting, so having a strong support system is crucial.
Practice self-care: Take care of your own well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and reduce stress. This can include exercise, meditation, spending time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies.
Consider professional help: If dealing with a narcissist becomes overwhelming or starts impacting your mental health, seeking therapy or counseling can be beneficial. A therapist can help you navigate the complexities of the relationship and develop coping strategies.
Remember, dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, but it is important to prioritize your own well-being. You deserve to be in healthy, respectful relationships where your voice is heard and valued.
I will never again engage such evil and vile treatment from someone I was kind and generous towards.
You deserve reciprocation and this is not it.
Being ignored can have a significant impact on self-esteem. When someone you love ignores you, it can make you feel unworthy and unlovable, damaging your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You're better than this.
“To get you to comply, break and submit. Stonewalling is used when you didn’t behave according to the Narcs rules and need to be told a lesson. It’s used to break your spirit and make you a better toy. It’s atrocious, inhuman and the best thing to do is kick the narc to the curb. Let them stonewall a brick wall if they want to.”
I should have walked away when early on he told me in passing conversation……
”If someone does something to upset me I wont say anything. I will just wait and watch and see if they say anything like, they are sorry or something….”Unless they block me then I am just done with them”.
No, they blocked him because they were done with him and that toxic sh!t.
He waited for the responses, to ignore them further and watch them grovel. I was one of them. He always had unread messages that were “people he didn't want to talk to right now”. And then I became them.
We were a bunch of losers to make him feel good when we were being “used” but didn't deserve a care after being ripped apart and thrown away. It was sadistic.
What is attractive about someone who hates themselves that much, to hurt you like this, just for “loving/validating” them?
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-is-narcissistic-stonewalling
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:ambulance:
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:lol: How can you be friends with a narcissist?:roflmao:
Azzh@les. It’s all about them, they feel like they’re owed something, they rarely keep up their end of the friendship and they’re draining to be around. They talk and talk and talk (or in the case of the coverts, barely say anything yet always want something like it’s their birthright). In another word, crappy. Narcissists suck! That’s why they’re called vampires, and they make others into vampires with enough exposure.
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Constantly prop them up emotionally and mentally by telling them they are great. That they have great ideas and are the best in their field.
They will be in competition with you, let them win (always).
Let them walk all over you. Act like it’s not happening.
Let them trigger your insecurities. Suck it up and have zero emotional reaction because if you do they will use these against you.
Hang out with their other disordered friends and let them trigger you too, don’t say a word.
Agree with everything negative and bad they say about everything and everyone.
Remember that they talk about you behind your back too.
Go eat and do what they want. Don’t have places or plans that aren’t theirs as you will pay if something is not their idea.
Expect that you will be betrayed.
Expect that you will be the one doing all the work to keep the relationship alive.
Expect that the only reason they are your friend is to use you for your kindness, generosity, contacts or to sadistically hurt you for entertainment.
Better yet leave them behind and make new friends.
_______________________________
1. Be agreeable. Just let them relish their imaginary cloud of pleasuring their ego (Think of them as ego addicts who cannot stop masturbating their ego or they'll die).
2. Be interesting. Keep up with interesting perspectives on things. Have passions and hobbies. Have a good grasp on current affairs, sound general knowledge and be a bibliophile. Then learn to keep all this handy when a narcissist decides to talk about one of these subjects.
3. Be average looking. Yes, try not to be too attractive. You must not be as presentable as the narcissist you are trying to be liked by. If you are too attractive, they might resent you. Or they will want to date you. We want to keep things casual.
4. Complement them. Be an expert at admiring them. Exercise caution while doing so. Narcs can sniff false words like dogs sniff bones.
5. Look up to them. There's nothing better for a narcissist than being a teacher and you to become their prodigy. Feign respect and inspiration of a narcissist. This is cakewalk. Once you have manipulated them into believing you respect them enough to follow their footsteps in life, you can get them to do pretty much anything.
6. Be available. So the narcissist has finally started warming up to you. What's next? S/he will automatically assume that you are theirs at will. You must become available at their convenience. They would want to gossip with you. Take you to their spiritual quests. Expect you to follow their passions (But be suckier than them at it).
7. Degrade the people they dislike. Now that you are in their close circle, expect the narcissist to confide in you about their hatred towards people including their family members, seniors and other friends. Join them in degrading the people they hate and you two would be inseparable.
8. Play hide and seek. If you are too available, too eager, too dependable, too agreeable, too interesting, too attractive, things would inadvertently go kaput in a matter of months (days even). Remember, a narcissist likes to play the game of run and chase. Otherwise, where's the fun? You must seem important. By important, I mean you can't be too available or they would quickly take you for granted and eventually devalue and discard you. Learn to keep the balance between show and hide. It is much like the art of seduction. You must be a seeker of pleasure. You have to earn it!
9. Buy their crap. Now that your crap has been sold, you must wholeheartedly buy into their crap. You have chosen to stay disillusioned in a morphed reality of a pathological people-user and now you must submit to it completely or you'll be caught!
10. Congratulations, you have come so far. Now, that you have decided to live a life of deceit and imagined greatness, forget about finding true happiness and enjoy your newfound immurement. Who knows when would the flying carpet be pulled out from underneath your flying self in narcland?
You have been warned.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-you-be-friends-with-a-narcissist
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:tello: "If you like what you see here, show me some much-needed love..."
:money:
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Do narcissists hope for 'the one' or 'true love'?
No.
What narcissists really want is endless sex, money, and new challenges to conquer. They can’t truly experience love. They might try to feel it, but they do it by finding new sources of attention.
You’ll never find real, lasting love with a narcissist—along with peace and happiness.
From my experience with a narcissist, I’ve learned that I will never again tolerate any form of emotional abuse. No matter how charming or well-packaged someone might seem, nothing is worth sacrificing your mental and physical health.
If you're dealing with a narcissist, learn about the disorder, figure out what you love and value, and then, when you're ready, explore all the possibilities out there. If you do the work, you'll look back and see that the relationship was with someone who couldn’t love and only aimed to break you down. And you’ll be grateful you got out.
_________________________
Narcissists often have a complex relationship with the concepts of "the one" or "true love." While they may express a desire for deep emotional connections or idealized relationships, their motivations and understanding of love are typically rooted in self-interest and validation rather than genuine emotional intimacy. Here are a few key points to consider:
Idealization: Narcissists may idealize the idea of "the one" as a way to fulfill their need for admiration and validation. They might seek partners who reflect their own self-image and enhance their status.
Fear of Vulnerability: True love requires vulnerability and emotional intimacy, which can be challenging for narcissists. Their fear of being exposed or rejected often leads them to maintain emotional distance, making it difficult to form authentic connections.
Short-Term Relationships: Narcissists may engage in relationships that seem intense and passionate at first, but these often lack depth. They may move on quickly when the initial excitement fades or when they feel that their needs are not being met.
Control and Power: For some narcissists, the pursuit of "true love" can be more about control and power dynamics than genuine affection. They may seek partners to enhance their own sense of superiority or to fulfill their fantasies.
Inconsistent Feelings: While they may yearn for an idealized partner, their feelings can be inconsistent, often swinging between admiration and devaluation. This instability can make sustaining a meaningful relationship challenging.
In summary, while narcissists might express a desire for "the one" or "true love," their approach is often more about self-gratification and less about mutual emotional fulfillment.
_________________________________
Yes they do. Unfortunately they are not capable of love nor commitment and intimacy terrifies them. They destroy it or tear it down to avoid intimacy.
It is also why they go all in with new supply. With the new person they believe that “this is the one” until it's not. Which it could be but they destroy it.
Imagine how exhausted and depressed they must be.
Now go live your best narc free life.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-hope-for-the-one-or-true-love
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Do narcissists go out looking
for their next supply like
"Who can I destroy next?"
No, they are looking for the perfect one in the next supply they find and on that stage they are not really thinking about their future selfish, chaotic behaviours.
The destruction starts when they realise the supply has insecurities, health problems, financial problems, etc. like any normal human being but also when they feel the victim is totally dependent on them.
The more attached the victim is towards the narcissist and pours out genuine feelings, the more they feel sick and bored as the chase is over and supply comes without minimum effort and narcissists are not grateful as they feel totally entitled to it.
Narcissists are mentally ill predators; the more the victim resist his charms the harder will be the love bombing but also more painful will be the discard at some point in the future.
https://abusivebehaviour.quora.com/Do-narcissists-go-out-looking-for-their-next-supply-like-who-can-I-destroy-next
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Do narcissists underestimate people more often than not?
Ron Culley
Friday
It is my observation that a Narc will “Size-Up” their target, take the first step to take it for a test drive and seal the deal all in a matter of an afternoon. Don’t over-estimate the power of a Narc on a re-supply mission.
__________________________
Narcissists consistently overestimate themselves (that’s why they feel so entitled and so resentful), but that does not mean they necessarily underestimate others. Some do. Anyone can. Especially when one lacks an accurate picture of one’s own relative importance.
But some are terrifyingly astute at spotting strengths and weaknesses, and some have fine cognitive empathy skills. They can tell how someone else feels - and they will use that skill to bond with you. They will exploit your strengths and use your weaknesses against you. And a lot of them believe to their core that every interaction - no matter how small - is a power struggle. So they have a lot of experience strategizing.
It’s best not to make assumptions about how others see you.
___________________________
Very much so. In the narcissist's world they are number one. They are the centre of attraction. Everything revolves around how they feel, what they want and what they do. Your only ever their spare fuel tank, for when they start to run low from all of this adoration they seek. Narcissists are so selfish and thoughtless, so deluded by thinking everyone loves them and how wonderful and popular they are, so caught up in themselves that they forget or rather don't even think for a minute that people are starting to see them for what they really are.
Give someone enough rope and they will hang themselves, is a saying that comes to mind with these type of people. People who narcissist's hurt and abuse, have one advantage over the narcissist, they begin to heal,… unlike the narcissist.
With this healing comes strength, education and the realisation that it's not themselves who were weak, but the very person they idolised. You're not weak because you love, care, have feelings, are considerate, thoughtful and all the other wonderful things that make you the special person you are. You're weak for having none of these, for using and abusing people for your own selfish needs. For not, or refusing to see, what damage you cause, without trying to turn it around and making out your the innocent party or the real victim, as the narcissist would tend to do.
Victims of narcissistic abuse eventually see both sides. They see the abuse they have suffered and endured in the name of love. But more importantly they see this person who they loved, for what that person really is. Once you see this, you are now in control with what you do with this new found knowledge.
The narcissistic partner or friend, if not aware of the homework you have done, has seriously underestimated your ability to grow and learn, whilst they still play. You have the power now to decide if you will do the discarding of them.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-underestimate-people-more-often-than-not
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:rofl:
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What is the difference between merely being selfish, and/or being a narcissistic personality type?
https://www.quora.com/unanswered/What-is-the-difference-between-merely-being-selfish-and-or-being-a-narcissistic-personality-type
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:tello: "Look what I found!"
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is often described as an “invisible” form of domestic violence since the abuse and trauma are not immediately apparent. It occurs when someone, for example, is forced to isolate from friends and loved ones or when they are prohibited from accessing their own bank account or other economic resources. In effect, the abuser is making the victim cut all ties to the outside world so the abuser can exert a significant level of control over the victim’s life and daily activities.
The term “coercive control” made its way into the mainstream in 2007 as a result of Dr. Evan Stark. He published a report describing coercive control as a pattern through which abusive partners (most oftentimes males) employed a combination of violence, intimidation, isolation, humiliation, and control to victimize their spouses or significant others.
When it comes to coercive control, the threat of physical violence is only one dimension within a complex interplay in an abusive relationship. To summarize “coercive control” Dr. Stark declared that it is not just what men do to women, but what men prevent women from doing for themselves.
California Courts Recognize Coercive Control as a Form of Domestic Abuse
Appellate Courts in California recognize coercive control as a form of domestic violence. For example, in McCord v. Smith (Cal.App.5th 2020), the Court specifically held that coercive and controlling behavior is a form of domestic violence under California’s restraining order laws.
In McCord, the Court stated that seemingly isolated events need to be evaluated in a broader context of the relationship to properly assess the “totality of circumstances” for purposes of issuing a restraining order. The Court in McCord highlighted a series of text messages sent from the abuser to the victim that threatened the victim’s peace of mind. The Court indicated that the evidence presented, when viewed in its totality, reflected a spouse intending to exert dominion and control over their significant other.
California Law Now Recognizes Coercive Control as Domestic Violence
Despite California Courts recognizing the concept of coercive control, there was no actual statutory prohibition against this form of domestic abuse. That changed in September 2020 when the Governor of California signed a bill into law clarifying the state’s Domestic Violence Prevention Act that coercive control constitutes a form of domestic abuse.
Specifically, the law amends Section 6320 of the Family Code so that “disturbing the peace of the other party” (which is grounds to obtain a DV Restraining order) includes coercive control. The California legislature unequivocally recognized that actions that result in the destruction of “mental or emotional calm” of a victim is a form of domestic abuse, even when there is no act of physical violence.
Statutory Definition of Coercive Control
Within the amended Section 6320, coercive control is defined as “a pattern of behavior that in purpose or effect unreasonably interferes with a person’s free will and personal liberty.” The statute goes on to include examples of coercive control. Those examples include the following:
Isolating the other party from friends, relatives, or other sources of support;
Depriving the other party of basic necessities;
Controlling, regulating, or monitoring the other party’s movements, communications, daily behavior, finances, economic resources, or access to services; and
Compelling the other party by force, threat of force, or intimidation, including threats based on actual or suspected immigration status, to engage in conduct from which the other party has a right to abstain or to abstain from conduct in which the other party has a right to engage.
https://castrolawoffices.com/blog/california-law-coercive-control-form-domestic-violence/#:~:text=Statutory%20Definition%20of%20Coercive%20Control,include%20examples%20of%20coercive%20control.
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What Is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic abuse, also called "domestic violence" or "intimate partner violence", can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.
This includes any behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. It can occur within a range of relationships including couples who are married, living together or dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence, regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation, faith or class.
Victims of domestic abuse may also include a child or other relative, or any other household member.
Domestic abuse is typically manifested as a pattern of abusive behavior toward an intimate partner in a dating or family relationship, where the abuser exerts power and control over the victim.
Domestic abuse can be mental, physical, economic or sexual in nature. Incidents are rarely isolated, and usually escalate in frequency and severity. Domestic abuse may culminate in serious physical injury or death.
Are You Being Abused?
Look over the following questions to think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner.
Recognizing the signs of domestic abuse
Does your partner…
Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
Put down your accomplishments?
Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
Tell you that you are nothing without them?
Treat you roughly—grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
Blame you for how they feel or act?
Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?
Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with friends or family?
Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?
Do you...
Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?
Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
If any of these things are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without help, the abuse will continue. Making that first call to seek help is a courageous step.
Always remember...
NO ONE deserves to be abused. The abuse is not your fault. You are not alone.
DON’T worry about threats to your visa. We have information about visa options for your situation.
DON’T worry if you do not speak the local language. We can get you help in many Languages.
Power and Control Wheel
Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, are the most apparent forms of domestic abuse and violence and are usually the actions that allow others to become aware of the problem. However, regular use of other abusive behaviors by the abuser, when reinforced by one or more acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of abuse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or occasionally, they instill the fear of future violent attacks and allow the abuser to take control of the victim's life and circumstances.
The Power & Control wheel is a particularly helpful tool in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and violent behaviors, which are used by an abuser to establish and maintain control over his/her partner or any other victim in the household. Very often, one or more violent incidents may be accompanied by an array of these other types of abuse. They are less easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of intimidation and control in the relationship.
(Source: Developed by Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, Duluth, MN, https://www.theduluthmodel.org/)
Emotional abuse includes undermining a person's sense of self-worth through constant criticism; belittling one's abilities; name-calling or other verbal abuse; damaging a partner's relationship with the children; or not letting a partner see friends and family. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
Does not trust you and acts in a jealous or possessive manner.
Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
Monitors where you go, whom you call and with whom you spend your time.
Does not want you to work.
Controls finances or refuses to share money.
Punishes you by withholding affection.
Expects you to ask permission.
Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
Humiliates you in any way.
Psychological abuse: involves causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner or children; destruction of pets and property; “mind games”; or forcing isolation from friends, family, school and/or work.
Financial or economic abuse: involves making or attempting to make a person financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding access to money, and/or forbidding attendance at school or employment.
Physical abuse: involves hurting or trying to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, burning, grabbing, pinching, shoving, slapping, hair-pulling, biting, denying medical care or forcing alcohol and/or drug use, or using other physical force. You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner:
Damages property when angry (throws objects, punches walls, kicks doors, etc.).
Pushes, slaps, bites, kicks or chokes you.
Abandons you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
Scares you by driving recklessly.
Uses a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
Forces you to leave your home.
Traps you in your home or keeps you from leaving.
Prevents you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
Hurts your children.
Uses physical force in sexual situations.
Sexual abuse: involves forcing a partner to take part in a sex act when the partner does not consent. You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:
Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
Has ever forced or manipulated you into having sex or performing sexual acts.
Holds you down during sex.
Demands sex when you are sick, tired or after beating you.
Hurts you with weapons or objects during sex.
Involves other people in sexual activities with you.
Ignores your feelings regarding sex.
Stalking involves any pattern of behavior that serves no legitimate purpose and is intended to harass, annoy, or terrorize the victim. Typical stalking activities include repeated telephone calls, unwelcome letters or gifts by mail, surveillance at work, home and other places that the victim is known to frequent. Stalking usually escalates.
For Survivors
No one deserves to be abused. The abuse is not your fault. You are not alone.
Contact the Critical Incident Stress Management Unit (CISMU) if you are concerned that you may be experiencing any form of abuse or are in fear for the safety of yourself or your children.
If English is not your first language, you can request a language you feel more comfortable speaking when contacting CISMU to provide support.
You can also see Support Organizations to identify and contact an appropriate resource for your assistance (for both US and International).
Read how you can protect your digital privacy.
https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse#:~:text=Domestic%20abuse%2C%20also%20called%20%22domestic,control%20over%20an%20intimate%20partner.
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Emotional Abuse Is Now Considered Domestic Violence in Some States. Where Does California Stand?
In June 2021, Connecticut became the third state in the U.S. to expand its legal definition of domestic violence to include emotional abuse (the specific legal term is “coercive control”). Similar legislation is in the works in five more states. Under these expanded definitions, domestic violence protections are no longer just provided for specific instances of physical abuse, but also for a “pattern of behavior” that controls, intimidates, or isolates a victim. In other words, victims in states with “coercive control” laws can seek restraining orders against their abusers for alleged emotional abuse, not just physical violence or threats of violence.
So where does California stand in all this? Can you be accused of domestic violence against your spouse or partner on the grounds of emotional abuse in California? Let’s explore this issue further to see what we can discover.
What Is Emotional Abuse?
Emotional abuse can take many different forms, but generally, it is defined as any behavior that is designed to control, intimidate, or isolate another person. This might include threats, name-calling, put-downs, constant criticism, withholding affection or love as punishment, isolating a person from their friends and family, monitoring their movements and communications, or even controlling them financially.
In some cases, emotional abuse can also escalate to physical violence. For example, a partner who is constantly yelling at their partner or trying to control their every move might eventually resort to hitting them or keeping them from leaving the house.
Why States are Now Defining Emotional Abuse as Domestic Violence
One in four women and one in nine men in the U.S. have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lifetime, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. And while it’s difficult to obtain exact numbers, experts believe that emotional abuse is even more common than physical abuse in relationships.
The challenge is that emotional abuse is often more difficult to prove than physical abuse, and yet can be, in some cases, even more traumatizing than physical abuse. Furthermore, the laws of most states only allow victims of domestic violence to get protective orders against their abusers by proving specific instances of violence–so victims are often unable to get relief in cases of emotional abuse. Former Connecticut state senator Alex Kasser, the lead sponsor of the coercive control bill in Connecticut, put it this way: “Many victims say that the invisible forms of domestic violence—coercive control— are more terrifying than physical violence. It’s time to update our systems and beliefs to reflect this reality.”
Where California Stands
California has long been at the front of the pack, strengthening its laws to protect domestic violence victims. For example, California was the first state to make stalking a crime and the first state to make cyberstalking a crime. It should come as little surprise that in California, you can be charged for any number of domestic violence crimes without ever making physical contact with the alleged victim. Many of these crimes fall within the definition of emotional abuse or occur within the context of such abuse. Examples include:
Stalking (PC 646.9)–harassing a person or acting toward them in a way that makes them fear for their safety.
Criminal threats (PC 422)–threatening a person with death or serious bodily harm, and doing it in a way that makes them fear they are in imminent danger.
Aggravated trespass (PC 601)–entering a person’s home or workplace without permission with the intent of fulfilling a criminal threat.
Cyber harassment–inflicting emotional distress via the Internet or other digital forms of communication (e.g., revenge porn).
California’s “Coercive Control” Law
Given California’s aggressive stance on all forms of domestic violence, it’s also not surprising that it was the second state to pass a “coercive control” law (after Hawaii and just before Connecticut). This law, which took effect in January 2021, defines coercive control as “a pattern of behavior that unreasonably interferes with a person’s free will and personal liberty and includes, among other things, unreasonably isolating a victim from friends, relatives, or other sources of support.” It does not specifically identify coercive control as a crime (mainly because it’s difficult to categorize a “pattern of behavior” as a crime). However, it does expand protections for victims of domestic emotional abuse by allowing them to seek protective orders on the grounds of this “pattern of behavior.”
Why would California pass a coercive control law when it already criminalizes many acts of emotional abuse as domestic violence? Because as with other states, up to this point, victims of domestic violence could only seek injunctive relief against their abusers over specific acts of emotional abuse, and if they could not prove those specific actions, it could be difficult to get a judge to approve a protective order. With this new law in place, accusers no longer have to make their case based on specific actions, but they can obtain a protective order by demonstrating a general pattern of emotional abuse.
What It Means for the Accused
In the State of California, it has been possible for a long time to be charged with a crime related to emotional abuse. In that regard, nothing has changed. What the coercive control law does is simply make it easier for a spouse or significant other to accuse you of emotional abuse and get a protective order against you–whether or not you’re ever charged with a crime. A protective order on its own can be highly disruptive to your life–forcing you from your home, disrupting your custody rights, and potentially impacting your ability to make a living or hold a professional license.
https://www.losangelescriminaldefenseattorneyblog.com/emotional-abuse-is-now-considered-domestic-violence-in-some-states-where-does-california-stand/
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If in doubt of a narcissist, know that it's All for show!
They are very charming when they need something!
The 4 Biggest Times a
Narcissist’s Mask Falls
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F81d3mDf-hE
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What does it mean when a
narcissist doesn’t bother to talk to you after the discard?
To put it bluntly, it means that you were given a get out of jail free card from your narc but your addiction to narc is still rampant. If you let your ex narc know how badly you’re missing him you just fueled them by letting them know they still have you hooked. Your ex is waiting for you to chase after them so they can continue f*cking with your heart, mind and soul.
Your discard was very hard and painful but hopefully you learned some valuable lessons especially in the area of setting boundaries. Yeah, you still miss your narc but realize that you were trauma bonded to a toxic relationship and chances are if you weren’t discarded you’d probably never leave. I also hung on to the belief that my ex narc would eventually change but knowing what I know now, that won’t happen.
Remember, people don’t discard people they love, they discard people they use.
Focus on yourself and go no contact forever. Narcs freak out when their discarded target just vanishes because narc needed you a hell of a lot more than you need them. Lastly, if you think narc made your life hell before discard just go back for round two and your hell will become super hell!
_____________________________
They don’t bother to talk to any of us after the discard. They hate you and are done with you, that’s the point of the discard lol. That and they’re too busy with your replacement celebrating and sexing the nights away. Don’t you know what a discard is for? They’re not your friend. They hate you and have thrown you away like trash on purpose.
____________________________
It means that 1. They’ve found a shiny, new supply and you’re a distant memory in their rear view mirror or, 2. You were devalued and discarded and are no longer worthy of their time & attention. But make no mistake, the hoover’s will come; in one month or one year or sometime in between. They’ll come.
You must never, ever respond, not in kind or in malice. Your words only give them fuel, which is why they hoovered in the first place. The biggest, most painful narc injury is…..silence. As far as he/she knows, you’ve dropped off the face of the earth.
Who cares if the narcissist is quiet, YOU be the one who is quiet.
____________________________
It means you have been given a great gift. Hoping to be contacted again by someone who has abused you is like hoping your cancer will metastasize. Don’t wish for it, and be grateful for every day of freedom you have.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/What-does-it-mean-when-a-narcissist-even-doesn-t-bother-to-talk-to-you-after-the-discard
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COMING SOON
:drama:
YOU are the Treat.
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Are narcissists aware that they wear a mask?
The only time a narcissist is aware that they wear a mask is when something very traumatic happens to them and they are “broken open”. This is also the only time when they can make moves to recover from their personality disorder.
Other than that the answer is “No”.
A narcissist is not aware and would never want to be aware of their mask. The “construct”, mask or “false persona” is what keeps them together. Without it they are nothing. Behind the mask is a very weak and insecure person . Under no conditions would they want anyone including themselves to be aware of this.
______________________________
How many narcissists announced to you that they don’t keep their promises, don’t really care about anyone else, and are trying to appease you so that you would trust them then once you’re hooked they will show you who they are, and then lie about it, feigning victim so that you’ll feel guilty?
Well, that person wasn’t wearing a mask. The rest are masked.
Awareness is a funny thing, people are usually only aware of the things they care about. They don’t care to see things your way unless they’re duping you, and once they’ve duped you they don’t care to frame it as them being terrible, instead, they’re aware that they are winners.
They are aware of what they want, they are aware of how to get it, including when to lie and how to keep their lies straight, and they are aware of when they receive it and what they want to do with it.
So their awareness of what's happened and what they’re doing will never validate or look like your awareness. It will be framed around what it means to them.
______________________________
Narcissists often exhibit a complex relationship with self-awareness. Many narcissists may not fully recognize that they are wearing a "mask" or presenting a facade to the world. Their self-image is typically inflated, and they may genuinely believe they are superior or more deserving than others, which can blind them to their own behaviors and the impact they have on others.
However, some narcissists might have a degree of awareness about their manipulative tactics and the persona they project. They might understand that they are not being entirely genuine but justify their actions as necessary for achieving their goals or protecting themselves from vulnerability.
In summary, while some narcissists may have an awareness of their mask, others may not, and their understanding is often influenced by their level of insight and the specific context of their behavior.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-aware-that-they-wear-a-mask
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When God's Curse Visits A Narcissist And Causes Suffering
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKDpzkPgpXk
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5 Signs Someone in Your Life Was Sent by the Devil
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64rjs3A5LSY
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You are dealing with a child....
It will never be meaningful or authentic.
HOW CAN THE NARCISSIST
BEHAVE THIS WAY
@healing1106
1 day ago
Addiction freaks, adrenaline junkies, smart phones, can never sit still, always on the go, always planning and breaking plans, looking for the next new shiny object. Dealing with all of that was just like Andrew said....a one way ticket to destructionville....HELL, and I made it back from Hell, but I had to find the strength to pick myself up and try. This channel made that happen for me, and I believe it was divine intervention. Blessings to all who listen and apply the wisdom gained here!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xty8vFKiSoM
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Why do narcissists get
angry so quickly?
They get angry quickly with their target, as a form of manipulation/control.
It seems they have ‘lost' their temper, but in actual fact, they know exactly what they are doing, they know how intimidating they are being, and that is the whole point.
A narcissist rage/temper tantrum is used simply to get their own way. If it wasn't so frightening, and often dangerous to the victim, depending on how far the narc will take his rage, often to violence, it would be amusing. Just like a two year old throwing a paddy because they didn't get their favourite candy.
If you take notice, this ‘temper' very rarely rears it's ugly head when he is in the company of others. He will be charming, amenable, laid back, a perfect gentleman.
He saves his intimidating behaviour for behind closed doors.
These monsters are cruel, calculating and manipulative to their very core. Rage is just another weapon of control.
Please note, I used He, as experienced in my own relationship. It is interchangeable with She.
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Because they're not getting their way. They truly believe their way is the only way. So when challenged they become combative.
Or because you've questioned their actions. They live to harm people. And when we have discovered this behavior, we as normal people tend to ask questions. The narc will deflect this by throwing a fit just like a toddler does when caught doing something wrong. In fact, toddlers and narcs are quite similar in many areas.
Another reason they become angry is they're sensing you're extremely close to pulling that mask down. Pulling the mask off is a situation that they never want to be in. They have built this charade for years, and to distract you from revealing who they truly are inside, they'll become increasingly hostile in an attempt to confuse you.
The last reason I've personally seen a narc get super psycho over is losing their main supply. Once they've caught on to that supply making their exit, it becomes a war zone.
Deflection and deception is their main focus. If you're experiencing this then you have successfully pulled that grotesque mask off, or you've been made aware of the nasty behavior they've inflicted upon you or a loved one. Either way, no contact is the main goal. They will never change. Ever.
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Narcissists don’t have a big range of emotional coping skills. A neuro-typical will weigh options, think about outcomes, perhaps try different approaches before becoming angry. For a Narcissist, those types of thoughts are not within their capabilities.
A Narcissist lives in a near-constant state of terror that they will be “found out,” be declared, “unworthy,” and judged lacking. Their reactions to things are usually highly polarized, as they lack “Object Constancy,” and “Whole Object Relations.” They see things as either “wonderful! Awesome!” or they are “pathetic, worthless!”
Someone once told me that anger was simply fear being expressed. I’ve come to believe that is true. When anyone becomes fearful, the Fight or Flight system is kicked into overdrive. All humans will do one of two things…. we will flee or we will react with fear-based anger.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-get-angry-so-quickly
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What do narcissistic
survivors gain?
Increased knowledge of what’s actually in the world.
Increased knowledge of man’s capacity for evil, and how to discern it.
Increased strength of character once you piece yourself back together.
Increased self-knowledge.
Increased sense of direction in life.
Increased ability to forecast situations in life and dodge the bullets.
Increased understanding of other people’s predicaments and potential.
Increased ability to wisely and practically counsel others unfortunate enough to encounter such evil.
Good question - focus on the positive - and it was very cathartic listing those… I feel almost blessed to have been through it, numerous times, so I must be on the mend.
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To me the biggest benefit of surviving a narcissist is that you finally can confront your own issues.
Too many of us survivors like to play the victim and place all the blame on the narcissist. While we really may have been abused by a narc, at the same we allowed it to happen to us and many of us refuse to recognize that second part.
Narcissists do not exist in a vacuum. They need the Ying to their Yang in order to survive and thrive. Often times we forget that we were the Ying and refuse to confront our own issues. Then we run right out to make the same (or similar) mistake again and again.
Looking back at my own relationship, all of the signs were there. I was just so desperate for it to work that I ignored them all. Over my 24 year marriage I made so many accommodations and gave away so much of myself, that when it ended I barely knew who I was and what I was about.
Getting divorced forced me to confront my own issues. I am no longer so desperate to the point of ignoring my own needs. I confronted my need to be loved at any cost, even my own life. No longer will I allow myself to be used and abused at my own expense.
I have opened my eyes and seeing things for what they are. I am enjoying life for my own benefit and not some one else’s.
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Many of the survivors that I have seen have rich and nourishing inner lives. Many become "seekers of a higher reality" and develop curiosity about spiritual or philosophical matters. While not all have eschewed the material world many are very self-sufficient and low maintenance lifestyles.
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After you heal, you become a more empathic human being because you touched rock bottom and was able to rise. And so you may have a better idea what others may be going through.
God blessed me with becoming more human and human everyday. Perhaps my ego is much less powerful nowadays and feel that life can be really awesome if we live it in a simple manner.
I showed the narcissist that I won the game. He played all types of evil games, and here I am stronger than ever before.
I learnt the lesson in a very tough way and there is no way I will ever date a narcissist ever again nor be within a mile of another one.
I have gathered enough experience and knowledge to share it here on Quora so that people won’t have to suffer as much as I did.
Money is no longer that important. Today’s society is obsessed with material things.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissistic-survivors-gain
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They are SNAKES IN THE GRASS!
10 Biggest Secrets a Narcissist Doesn’t Want You To Know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XsOL8my1ms
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:wtf: :sam2gun: :keelhaul: :jandoor:
:mobbing: :ni: :troll2:
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Does the smear campaign against you always occur with narcissists?
Oh yeah.
They can’t have people actually LISTENING to the truth because their warped sense of reality is the only truth that should be believed.
In the ending of a normal relationship, the new partner only hears that they didn’t get a long and that the couple split.
In the ending of a narcissistic relationship, all you hear is how much they were wronged and how deplorable the ex partner is.
All the friends in a regular relationship only really hear that they went their separate ways and decided to split.
The “friends” of a narcissist will hear hate and lies spread so thickly it’s like peanut butter on bread.
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The smear campaign is most certainly initiated as soon as the first devaluation or discard cycles begin. You can see the smear even begin before these phases if there’s a way for the NPD personality to triangulate between you and other supply / fuel sources— other believers in his cult Of The Perfect Victim.
“Look— she is so moody, crazy, mean, weird—-“ to his circle and even your family. There’s no way to avoid this phase. Then love bombing will reoccur. If you’ve decided to leave, and he cannot Hoover you back, then “The Smear” will intensify. FULL FORCE. This is when you find out who your true friends are. This is when you find out who his flying monkeys are.
This is when you make a decision to stay and be abused mentally— perhaps physically—- and for sure psychologically, or you get out and stay out. You have to stop worrying about what he says —what he does —what he believes— what he projects on the others about you and about himself. Be done. Get some good counseling, and please get out and stay out.
Good luck and peace be with you, always. He won’t change (or she) so you must be done. Go no contact.
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The smear campaign starts right at the beginning, you just didn’t know it went back that far.
How to deal with it? As hard and upsetting as it is, ignore it, don’t say anything.
The narcissist has set you up to look insane, a liar and an abuser so most people won’t believe what you have to say which feels even worse.
I defended myself once, to a neighbor who told me what my narc ex was saying about me, I was so mad and upset, as soon as I started defending myself, I just knew it was a mistake, the way the neighbor was looking at me… that bothered me for a long time so after that, I said nothing to anyone.
Very often, as time goes by, normal people start to notice things about the narc that are “just not quite right..” as more than a few people told me, “There’s something about that guy.” I still said nothing, just shook my head, yep!
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When you’re with a narcissistic in the beginning, once they get you hooked and get bored with you, is that when kind of smear campaign starts against you?
The smear campaign doesn't start until they need it.
What I mean by that is the moment they somehow start to look bad as far as your relationship goes is the moment they pull out the smear campaign. During the love bombing stage and the hoovering stage they're amazing.
My idea of an ideal partner. Loving caring giving forgiving, and no negativity is needed. But when you start to question certain behaviors of theirs, or they start trying to change you and you won't comply, that's when it gets interesting. When you start to question them about some of their behaviors, that's when the smear campaign begins slowly.
See you're still with them and as long as they still have somebody giving them everything they want they have to keep holding on to you. But they may drop a few negative comments about you here and there to their friends or even to your friends. Just enough to kinda maybe start changing the way some people think about you.
Once they're off with her new fling and some more of the truth come out about them that's when the real smear campaign starts. That's where they pull out all the stops. They will say absolutely anything to anyone... Especially to your friends. To anyone who will listen.
The moment they start to look bad in any way is the moment they decide they need to make you look worse.
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Short answer: My friend the narcissist smear campaign started the very first day that you met this demon. It is the cursed tongues of the snake pit that you were involved in with the narcissist and his narcissist family. You were being talked about the entire time behind your back and you were not even aware of it.
So, why should the smear campaign affect you now? Well, that’s because you had no idea that you were surrounded by demonic individuals who do not have your best interest in anyways. Now that you are aware of this snake pit the best advice, I could give you is to walk away silently and never allow these demons around you nor your friend circle that you trust ever again.
Do not allow them to have access to your life ever again. These demons are reckless, psychotic, demonic, unjustified, who have no self-worth, malicious, pure evil, and do not like you at all. They do not feel any remorse for the evil deeds in causing problems in your life through their malicious gossip hounds, and their precious flying monkeys that do their dirty work full of darkness.
So, “BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCKITY BLOCK!!!! every one of these demon's out of your life because they are petty spineless abusers who will not benefit you in any way shape or form. Good luck as you heal and recover your reputation from the smear campaign. I will be praying for your speedy recovery. There are 8 million other people on this planet waiting to love and treat you like the loving human being that you are:)
https://www.quora.com/Does-the-smear-campaign-against-you-always-occur-with-narcissists
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10/11/2016 6:06AM
Luka Luciano
Luka
fyi sherry has been talking sh!t about you saying your a freeloader living off her lazy bum drunk...she is spending night with kevin in vta says she made you sleep in her rv not in a relation ship any more planning to give you the boot. a conspiracy pretty low that is why i am writing hate cheaters liars backstabbers lame ass way to do things she made herself out as a victim not cool...
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:rawprawn:
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What makes a narcissist
choose his victims?
They choose genuine people. They choose people they want to be like. Then behind your back they imitate you (steal your identity) while simultaneously smearing your name and reputation. They have done their research on you. They stalk and are extremely nosey.
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They are both attracted and disgusted by strong and successful people with just a smidgen of self-esteem or family trauma. Attracted because those people are strong and admirable. They elevate you just having them in your orbit - but that’s the rub.
Narcissists hate themselves and protect themselves from that hate by conjuring a larger than life character who is confident and charming. Reality is they hate you because you have all those nice things - empathy, confidence. They don’t have those things, so because they can’t, they need to bring you down a peg or two million.
They will slowly and carefully set about addicting you to their charm while they plot ways to encourage you to kill yourself. It really is that bad. If you do find yourself in this situation trust your gut and run!
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Yes they do.
If you've been the victim of narcissist abuse then you'll remember they asked you a lot of questions during the honeymoon period.
They were actually interviewing you to see if you'd tolerate their crap. They love people who have a past history of being abused bc they know they'll tolerate abuse.
This is what flying monkeys are. They are people who have been abused and subconsciously find somebody to abuse them, so the narc picks up on it and uses them to their advantage.
This is why I say that a narc cannot abuse somebody who refuses to be abused and sets very strict boundaries.
Self professed predators admit that they look for people with weak boundaries bc they're easy to manipulate.
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You were chosen because you were supplying what the narcissist needed. I suspect they started off treating you with respect and care?
This isn’t a hunting game, where they go out in search of that one perfect victim. They need and require some kind of positive (to them) emotional support to off-set the fact they can’t produce positive self values for themselves.
A narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in it. Every day they must source enough supply to fill the bucket. Every day it leaks out. Keeping the bucket full is a daily job they must find some kind of supply to fill.
When a victim stops ‘being the supply’ the narcissist will go and seek out someone else.
You weren’t ‘chosen’. You just fit their requirement at that time.
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You can be sure if you are kind, authentic, genuine and intelligent, you are a mark for the Narcissist.
The smarter and more intelligent you are, the more you will attract the person with NPD. Why that happens is because the Narcissist is a great mimic. They know they have no real empathy so they sniff out those that do for their supply. They will copy and imitate your authentic traits so that when you engage with them, you are led to believe you are on the same page. That’s what they want you to think. However nothing about them is sincere or real and certainly, never authentic. They are mimicking you and who you are.
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Whatcha got? A house they can squat in? A car they can “borrow”? Money? A credit card? A vagina? A mouth?
It might be monetary or to fluff up their ego. Are you the booty call or the rent check? Do they only call you after 11 pm? Are they gonna get ya next time with the their half? This b!tch use to ask me to watch his kids for him then go on a date!
Maybe you're the friend they text a picture of themselves ever so often to “get your opinion” on their outfit. Or do they only call when they need a ride to the airport?
Narcissists are the ultimate opportunists. They pick stuff, not people.
Don't give them sh*t!
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-a-narcissist-choose-his-victims
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:superhero: Page 25 :mop:
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:nhj:
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What happens to the partner of a narcissist when the narcissist dies?
Ron Culley
Saturday
Personally speaking….when that b!tch dies, I’m gonna PARTY like it’s 1980. I will also be expecting a call from Hell, saying “We don’t want her”.
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I felt relieved, as though all the pressure was gone. My tightly wound rubber band began the long slow arduous task of unwinding. I didn’t / couldn’t cry for about a year. Then, when the tears finally started - I couldn’t get them to stop. He died in my arms, and it was very traumatic for me- sent me into severe PTSD. I devoted 38 years of my life to that lyin', cheatin', scheamin', cold-blooded, good for nothing heartless b*stard.
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All the time that you allow the narcissists around you, you are slowly dying inside every part of your being. It will take a lot to ever, if it can be done, get past all the damage they had done and to move forward. Seek counseling. Don't look for companionship because you are not well. And you're at risk for allowing another narcissist in your life. Just find your Center, love yourself again and be happy.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-to-the-partner-of-a-narcissist-when-the-narcissist-dies
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Can narcissists sense that
you have changed?
Omg! Holy Sh!t... YES!!!
I can’t explain it. I need to research this dynamic. But, Trust me!!! It’s happened again & again in my lived experience…
The minute they sense I’ve raised the bar…they are long gone.
No discussion.
No debate.
Just long gone!!!
When they sense a bar raised past a certain point they are gone faster than the Roadrunner. (In those old Cartoons!)
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Definitely.
They are super vigilant, always checking that you are continuing to be a compliant target. An obedient supply.
When that changes for whatever reason, they will increase their pressure by use of a wide variety of tactics or simply dump you for another target who has probably already been lined up.
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Yes.
They are very sensitive to changes in your behavior.
They can’t be empathy molesters and perception fondlers, without understanding your psychology.
What they will confidently try with a victim who still tries to love them, is not what they will try with you or I.
They don’t want to get their mask smashed, and their victim card laughed out the door.
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Absolutely from a 1000 miles, across countries, across continents, across multiple years of no contact.
Once narc sense that they cannot manipulate, gaslight, control or blackmail you, be prepared to be abandoned without notice. Stone walling, grey rocking, no contact, everything you can imagine, narcs will go to any extent to deny you closure.
You become enemy number one once you stop being their supply.
Be ready to face the worst smear campaign of your life right after.
Oh yes, DISCARD is not out of the realm of possibilities.
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Even from a thousand miles away, across countries, or after years of no contact, narcissists will still sense when they can't manipulate, control, or gaslight you anymore. When that happens, be prepared for them to suddenly abandon you without any notice. They’ll use tactics like stonewalling, grey rocking, and going no contact—basically anything to avoid giving you closure.
Once you stop being their source of supply, you become their number one enemy.
Get ready for the worst smear campaign of your life right after this. They'll push all your buttons to try and make you react. But now that you refuse to play their game and won’t give them any attention, they’ll definitely notice.
You're depriving them of the attention they crave, even though they're trying hard to get it.
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Absolutely.
However, they always think your changing is because you have changed, they will never think it has anything to do with them or their abusive treatment of you.
They will never acknowledge that it was their behavior that caused you to question their behavior and why you are changing.
It's these changes that cause their devaluation of you. They sense everything, but suspect you are cheating or lying. Downhill from there.
https://www.quora.com/Can-narcissists-sense-that-you-have-changed
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How can I handle a
Smear Campaign?
Nothing. Let it be. Anyone who is truly a trustworthy person and knows you wont buy it. The others? F them, you don't need them. If the smear campaign affects your job start looking for a new one. You can not stop the smear campaign and you shouldnt you will only enter into the narcs twisted game, waste more energy and time for nothing.
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You cannot. You just be the best person you can be, calm and collected, honorable and ethical. That will show through in the end to the people who matter. The people who don’t get it don’t matter.
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The narcissist smears you in the hopes of destroying you, in the hopes of getting you to uselessly engage with them. They will drain your attention and use what you say against you.
Here's what you do:
Be brave
Be a big boy, a big girl
Turn around
Go away
Get some work done
Don't be a lazy narcissist —
that position is already taken.
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You counter with silence.
Do not attempt to defend yourself, explain, clear up. Do not give in to temptation. Those that know you will know it is a smear campaign and those that do not will either dismiss it or believe it, but it is not your problem at that point.
Consider this a gift…a filter, a colander, if you will, that will leave you with the knowledge of who you can consider to be true and loyal friends.
Counter with silence. I promise it is the only counter worth making.
Be well and good luck.
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If I was you I would care less.
Why?
Because anyone who takes the narcissists side deserves them as their friend.
They can have it.
The narcissist has done you a favor by the smear campaign.
How?
It weeds out the chaff.
It gets rid of fake friends and family who were also toxic.
Rejoice in your new found freedom from toxic waste.
Hello people who actually have TASTE in friends and your real family.
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The Narcissist starts a Smear Campaign after discard sometimes because they want to make you look crazy and they had a good reason to let you go. They say all kinds of lying bullshit about you to anyone that will listen so that when the truth comes out about them, your story will have no validity.
They will protect their secret life at all costs. Make new friends that don't even know your Narc. You have been mentally and psychologically abused and your self-esteem is already gone. So go NO Contact. Block the Narcissist on your phone and Social media. Escape the madness and now is the perfect time to do so. If the Narcissist reaches out to you, don't respond in any way.
They just want to see if they can still control you. You are nothing to them anymore except possible Supply if you go back to the relationship from hell. Let them have their little Smear Campaign. You stick it to them. Go NO Contact which a Narcissist hates. Save yourself. It is a lot of hard work to pull yourself back together. Make sure that you have a good support system of family and friends that care about and love you.
You have done nothing wrong. The Narcissists is the twisted one and they never, ever change. So don't wait around. Good luck.
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From my personal experience, if you react to the smear campaign, it will just get worse. If you don't react to it, then it will die out naturally. Kind of like a fire: if you keep feeding it with logs, it grows bigger. But if you stop feeding it, without adding logs to it, the fire naturally extinguishes itself.
People are going to think what they want and react accordingly. The best thing to do, is to let them do them, and you keep being you, regardless. It shouldn't change how you act, think, speak, or behave. Don't let it affect you. See it as water off a duck’s back, and let it just roll off. They may be very jealous of you, or scared of you and that’s why they are doing it in the first place. Let them and keep living your life. The right people won't fall for their lies and drama, and will see the real you.
Think of it as a blessing because they may be committed to misunderstanding you or believing the lies about you and are weak and not trustworthy and weren’t for you to begin with. There are others that are actually for you. Don't let the fake ones ruin that for you. Real ones are out there. Hang in there. It gets better. Let their fiery lies extinguish themselves.
Narcissists expose themselves more than the people they hurt. It always catches up to them and overtakes them. They never get away from the consequences of it. Don't sweat it. They are cowards and the people that believe their lies are fake and cowards too. There’s still real people with integrity in the world. Hang in there, it gets better. Hope this helps.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-handle-a-smear-campaign-What-to-do-when-the-narcissists-are-controlling-the-way-people-view-you-What-to-do-when-the-new-people-in-your-life-dont-even-want-to-give-you-a-chance-to-get-to-know-you-for
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https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxidzzFOMROxKONixQEX9fKxIcbdIfZZF9
@1stBorn538
16 hours ago (edited)
Even if you remind them of their self centeredness, they act surprised or irritated because you're paying attention and called them out about it. They expect all bad behavior to be unseen and ignored
@Clevelandsteamer324
19 hours ago
Meta cognition is not their strong suit. They won’t change their ways as long as they are winning with their tactics.
@nryane
5 hours ago (edited)
I accept that these people are who they are, and stay away from them. I give them no attention, once I see who they are.
I used to believe that I was the egocentric one. Not any more.
@Chatndiva
16 hours ago
As much as I research and try to, I just can't wrap my brain around this.
I wish there was some kind of comparison or something to help make it click
@BermudaGrass
14 hours ago
I’m currently trying my hardest to remind myself the narcissist I am stuck with should not be sought after for support while I am su!c!dal because she thinks I’m just trying to manipulate her with “threats.” She wants to be right about all things so bad that she refuses to accept I’m being narcissistically gangstalked by her city here in Lawrence, KS to the point that some policeman are in on it.
Even after I have gathered logically inarguable evidence about it (like the same cop showing up whenever we call) she refuses to admit it, all because she’d have to be wrong about something. I even tried explaining to her that True Crime is entitled that way because it’s real…it’s actually true crime. Her response? Lowering her head in shame, clearly showing she was overcome that she wasn’t “smart enough” to put that together. She has no ability to connect to the fact I was asking for her to support me, because her brain is blocked with self-hatred.
@camelotenglishtuition6394
16 hours ago
Prior to the narc relationship, i was very empathetic. I do feel way less so and very negative (in my thinking). I'm 11 weeks out of the relationship and my emotions are very painful. Is there a way to help "go back " so to speak to being an empathetic person again or is it just going to take time ?
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Is the truth a narcissist's kryptonite?
Truth makes narcissists weak, vulnerable, and scared. Narcissists don't want anyone to view them negatively. For narcissists, their image and reputation are everything. Another problem is that narcissists can't cope with shame when they face the truth. Narcissists always take the help of lies to look good.
Without lies, narcissists can't achieve anything. Narcissists need lies to survive. Narcissists know if people come to know the truth about them, then narcissists won't get narcissistic supply and they will be left alone. Narcissists don't like people speaking truth about them; narcissists don't like speaking truth about them, and narcissist don't like truth-speaking people.
Truth destroys the ego and reality of narcissists. Truth destroys the fake fantasy of narcissists. When you bombard narcissists with truth, it acts like acid on narcissists.
Lies are the identity of narcissists; truth makes them terrified.
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No as they will never see the truth - they create their own truth. Indifference from others and lack of supply is the Kryptonite for narcissists. Ignore them.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Is-the-truth-a-narcissists-kryptonite
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What are some narcissistic triggers?
Criticism or rejection: Narcissists have low self-esteem, so any criticism or rejection, even if it's just perceived, can triggers them.
Lack of attention or praise: Narcissists crave attention and praise, so not getting it can make them angry, frustrated, or jealous.
Threats to their sense of being better than others: Narcissists believe they are superior to others, so anything that challenges this belief can triggers them.
Boundaries or limits set by others: Narcissists have trouble accepting when others set boundaries or limits, and this can make them feel their control is threatened.
Feeling powerless or helpless: Narcissists need to be in control, so situations where they feel powerless or helpless can be upsetting.
Competition or comparison to others: Narcissists want to be the best, so being outperformed or compared unfavorably to others can trigger them.
Betrayal or abandonment: Narcissists have trouble trusting others, so feeling betrayed or abandoned can be very upsetting for them.
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Calling them out on their lies
Nothing will trigger them more than this! They do not expect to be caught or for you to have the strength to call them out and they can and will explode when it happens.
Criticism
Doesn’t matter if it’s constructive they do not have the ability to see it that way. You can go from being a friend to an enemy in a split second if that happens.
Losing
Doesn’t matter whether it’s Monopoly, cards or life itself, they are highly competitive by nature and simply cannot handle losing to you or anyone.
New found boundaries
Have you developed boundaries you didn’t have before? That’s not going to be welcomed at all! In fact if you act in any way inconsistent to what they know of you it won’t go down well. To be a good supply you must be predictable to them.
Exposure
Similar to calling them out but doing so in public. They explode if you do anything to ruin the image they fight so hard to project\protect.
Someone else’s success\happiness.
This is especially the case for their exe’s, how dare they be happy without them!
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-narcissistitc-triggers
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Are narcissists mentally tough?
Not even a little bit. The opposite is entirely true. They are mentally weak to an extreme degree. The cluster of destructive behavior that we call narcissism is the result of intense personal mental destruction and breakdown. It’s the result of the failure to develop any personal integrity. This cluster of behavior is the direct result of mental weakness but the fact that people look at narcissistic behavior and wonder if there’s mental strength there is a good indicator that the manipulation is working.
Mentally strong people don’t need to manipulate and degrade others to get ahead. Mentally strong people don’t see a competition with everyone else, they’re not threatened by others. They don’t see a need to win this race or competition that’s totally fake and so they don’t need to step on others to get ahead.
Mentally strong people don’t sniff out vulnerable people and exploit them. Mentally strong people exercise respect and compassion for everyone.
Mentally strong people aren’t cruel. Mentally strong people are patient, kind and compassionate.
Mentally strong people don’t need to diminish other people to make themselves look better. Mentally strong people look for the good in others.
Mentally strong people don’t have anger meltdowns and childish temper tantrums. Mentally strong people are composed and rational.
Mentally strong people don’t try to control others, they don’t need to, they have no use for it. Mentally weak people feel the need to try and control others because they personally lack control.
I say all the time that crazy has become the new sane and sane is the new crazy. Society has been flipped upside down. Mental freedom has become something to be afraid of, lies and doublespeak have become truths and the weak abusive ways of the narcissists are seen as strengths.
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Not from what I have witnessed. Adding to this, Quorans who are self-aware narcissists have stated that conditions like anxiety and depression are common among people with NPD.
There is certainly a mask of “mental toughness” narcissists will wear, but it goes hand in hand with the mask of self-confidence. If you act like you have extremely high self-esteem but don’t have high self-esteem, it probably becomes exhausting.
In short, living with NPD is not an enjoyable experience.
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Absolutely not. Narcissists are not mentally strong people. Narcissists are weak and needy people who can't survive without using people. Narcissists are parasitic in nature; they need to feed on people's emotions, energy, and other things to regulate their self-esteem.
When narcissists don't get what they want, they'll throw tantrums to get their needs met. It's easy to hurt narcissists because they are very sensitive to their own feelings and have a fragile ego. Narcissists main agenda is to use and abuse people to look powerful. Narcissists also suffer from other mental conditions. Narcissists are so weak that they can't resist the temptation to cheat or control their other needs.
Mentally strong people don't need other people to survive. Mentally strong people are able to control their needs.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Are-narcissists-mentally-tough
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:buttkick:
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Are narcissists evil,
or are they sick?
Narcissists are disordered people exhibiting sick behavior. Narcissists are evil in human disguise. Narcissists come into relationships only to use and abuse you. If you see, narcissists don't contribute anything positive in your life; whatever they do is negative. If narcissists do something positive, then they have hidden motives behind it.
You love narcissists deeply; you do everything for narcissists; you sacrifice your needs, choices, and decisions; what you get in return is abuse and blame. You have no answers for their horrible behavior.
You compare narcissists with evil; they both have the same motives: abusing and taking everything from you.
Anything good a narcissist does for you comes with a price. Narcissists are takers, users, and abusers. Narcissists not only cause problems in your life; they cause problems in every profession and every field. Getting rid of narcissists is a blessing in disguise.
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Yes they are. They knowingly cause grief and bad times for people, just so they can feel good about themselves. If you have ever seen that evil smirk when they do something horrible, then you would know that there is an evil person behind those eyes.
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Yes.
What makes them evil, and the most unsavoury narcissists you could EVER meet is they come across ‘normal’ - a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a Jekyll and Hyde personality that they desperately conceal till they’re comfortable they have your affections.
Sadism, both sexual and psychological, really gets them off - in fact, it’s the only thing that gets them turned on - inflicting any type of pain. Sex is a weapon to MNs, used to manipulate and control.
And when they can’t inflict pain on you physically, they will find a way to covertly chip away at your self-esteem and relish you losing your light, joy and confidence.
Because they have no personal boundaries nothing, and I mean nothing, is off-limits.
Taking advantage of drunk women, incest, leering at pre-pubescent girls, etc, there is no act too heinous or barbaric that they wouldn’t do. No conscience or moral compass allows them to act without thought or consideration for others.
Cold-blooded and sub-human is really what they are: evil in a human form.
Hence, why the multiple masks, charming persona, mirroring, and pity-playing symphonies are employed - to disarm empaths especially those who are generous, loyal and forgiving.
How else can they ‘learn’ these attractive qualities in humans?
And the sadistic glee in their eyes when they are ‘winning’, i.e you’re suffering…that is pure evil.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Are-narcissists-evil-or-are-they-sick-1
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The moment you figure out you were with a covert narcissist and it’s not your fault , it is only the beginning, you have to learn about narcissism and grieve the person you thought they were and figure out how to rebuild your life.
There are so many moments you ask yourself is this real? Am I wrong ? Am I ? Are they ? This isn’t what you ever thought a relationship would ever look like and even horror movies have more rhyme and reason than narcissistic relationships.
Give yourself the time you need to grieve, ruminate and learn about narcissistic abuse. Keep healing survivors.
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Why does a narcissist call me evil for being honest and realistic?
Short version is they don't like anyone calling them out on their bullshit. They see absolutely nothing wrong with what they do or say. They think they are perfect in every way. If you try to point out even a minor infraction, they will act like you are the world's worst person.
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Because being honest and realistic is contrary to their agenda. I asked the narcissist in my life why me saying the truth was worse in his eyes then him telling lies. To him, lying to others about what he was doing was acceptable as it made him look like either a victim or a hero; me telling the truth exposed his deceit and, therefore, was considered betrayal.
This comes from a skewed perspective of reality.
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He’s devaluing you & he is saying that to you, because he knows he’s evil, but he will never admit it & he has to blame somebody..... you!!
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Narcissists think of themselves as right 100% all of the time and want everyone to realize how brilliant they are and how only they see the world correctly.
When they ask you for your opinion they only want to hear that you agree with them.
They are reassuring themselves that everyone’s opinion is wrong, or that, once again, they are a victim of someone’s misguided ill feelings.
Either way, they only want to prove to themselves, and the world, that they are right and the rightful center of the universe. Your opinion won’t change a narcissist. They will target you for harboring truthful thoughts. They are not interested in the truth.
Update: A narcissist I know recently poster this on Facebook. “I do not argue with people because I know they are wrong”. This was a blank statement made when referring to anyone who holds a differing opinion to their own no matter what the subject. Others are not afforded an opinion. This is typical of narcissists but you just don’t often see them put it into words on a public forum.
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Narcissists DON’T have the knowledge of what TRUE REALITY IS so they mirror themselves onto you. It is their way of NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for any of their wrong doings that you question them about.
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Narcs don't like the truth or reality. I experienced being called a psycho for pointing out I knew he was cheating online. Yes they do this to hide the fact they constantly lie.
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In "People of the Lie", M Scott Peck writes "It is not the sins per se that characterise evil people, but the refusal to acknowledge it.. " ...." Actually, the lie is designed not so much to deceive others as to deceive themselves.
They cannot or will not tolerate the pain of self-reproach. The decorum with which they lead their lives is maintained as a mirror in which they can see themselves reflected righteously. Yet the self-deceit would be unnecessary if the evil had no sense of right and wrong (this is vital here, kg).
We lie only when we are attempting to cover up something we know to be illicit. Some rudimentary form of conscience must precede the act of lying. There is no need to hide unless we first feel that something needs to be hidden."
"We come now to a sort of paradox. I have said that evil people feel themselves perfect (scapegoating their negative feelings/self image onto others, kg). At the same time, however, I think they have an unacknowledged sense of their own evil nature. Indeed, it is this very sense from which they are frantically trying to flee.
The essential component of evil is not the absence of the sense of sin or imperfection but unwillingness to tolerate that sense. At one and the same time, the evil are aware of their evil and desperately trying to avoid the awareness. Rather than blissfully lacking a sense of morality, they are continually engaged in sweeping the evidence of their evil under the rug of their own consciousness.
We become evil by attempting to hide from ourselves. The wickedness of the evil is not committed directly, but indirectly as a part of this cover-up process. Evil originates not in the absence of guilt but in the effort to escape it."
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-call-me-evil-for-being-honest-and-realistic
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Do narcissists ever go away?
GOOD QUESTION! I wish we could put them on their own little island out in the middle of no where.
Truth is, no one will keep them. No one wants to be around them when their true self comes out. So they keep coming back to the people that will put up with their craziness, gaslight them and move on to the next one. When they run out of people to bother, they come back. Viscous cycle.
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Narcs disappear when they realize the jig is up. They have pushed you so far, there is no return. You know who they really are - the mask has completely fallen. They know you are close to being done with them, yet, they have to beat you to the punch. At this point in time, I can honestly say I am happy he’s gone. No more drama, no more chaos, no more running to doctors to have STD screenings. A weight has been lifted. After time, you will be so happy they are out of your life for good!
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THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can only sustain them for a finite amount of time. They will disappear once you stop playing their game.
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They think they are a wanted, sought-after commodity. Believing everyone wants to spend time with them and be in their presence. They have no inkling that they are boring, lacking wit, humor, and anything worthwhile to any gathering, setting or conversations or dialogue. They also won't go away forever, because they know they aren't wanted and they do it to be mean and hateful and force their miserable selves on everyone.
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No. Narcissists can never rest. They are pitchers with a hole in the bottom. The very essence of life is constantly draining from them. They are PLAGUED by boredom, anger, frustration, angst and emptiness. They are vacuums that are constantly sucking every drop of energy that they can from the outside world because they have no energy of their own.
No identity. No self worth. No joy. No meaning. No fulfillment. Nothing. An empty void. Just like in the science of physics, the void creates the vacuum and the vacuum SUCKS with a constant fury. There is no rest. No peace. Nothing sticks. Nothing lasts. Nothing means anything for much longer than it is happening. They are empty again.
And again. And again. And again. They can never reach their goal. There is no goal. Just a constant struggle to survive and find some sort of satisfaction in the present moment before it’s gone again.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-go-away
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What does a narcissist lack?
Self awareness, personal identity, self esteem, a moral compass, compassion, ability to truly love another, backbone, self control, self reflection. True happiness.
Self confidence, any form of happiness, a heart, self love,respect for others, love for their children, empathy, sympathy, status, peace, real friends, and now their partner.
Empathy.
Plus morals, self control, ability to be humble, parenting skills, ability to love whole- heartedly. Manners.
And sometimes you believe they have no soul either.
And possibly a heartbeat.
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Great question and the list will definitely be endless.
Moral values.
The ability to think about the needs of anyone else.
The ability to appreciate that children are angels from heaven. They should be nurtured and not used and abused.
The ability to feel empathy and love.
The ability to feel happy.
The ability to be authentic.
The ability to look within to become a better person.
The ability to act in a selfless way.
.
The ability to reciprocate love.
The ability to stop playing mind games.
The ability to declare their true nature at any stage of a relationship.
The ability to act in a transparent way.
The ability to have deep and meaningful relationships with anyone.
Basically the narcissist lacks the desire to act like a human being.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-lack
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Does the narcissist intentionally introduce you to the new supply?
Probably depends on the narcissist. I had one loser narc that I dated a few times, over 2 1/2 years ago. He would say that his ex lived this restaurant and may come here with her boyfriend or maybe come to the carshow as she loves cars 🙄. He was trying to make us see each other. Triangulation-I wish I knew that he was a narcissist at the time.
He was keeping contact with her against my wishes, one of the many reasons I dumped him. He wanted us to see each other. He’s keeps calling me from No Caller ID/Unkown Number.
So yes, some narcissist losers want the present person to see a previous girlfriend. They are nasty pieces. Trying to work both women into a jealous frenzy over him. Such are their trains of thoughts.
Stay away and concentrate on other stuff and people, in your life.
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Oh absolutely. For somebody so cunning and secretive they give themselves away completely. They can`t help but talk about the new supply. In order to allay your suspicions they`ll say something along the lines…"She`s not very attractive but she's got a nice personality". Stuff like that.
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The only problem is they can`t stop themselves from talking about them. Later you finally meet and you catch the "in between glances" and your friends start to shy away from you….. they become involved and put on the spot. Next thing you know you`ve been ostracized from your group. That wine bar that you always considered `your own` has now been taken over by her and her mates. Yardy Yar.
Friends who you always believed were `in your corner` when questioned tell you `She is very exciting to be with`. This HURTS for all sorts of reasons. a) you are generally the best looking woman in the room…anywhere. b) you realise its not looks alone but you`ve always had a Gung Ho personality…even Bungy Jumping for the bastard to raise money for `his cause`. She, on the other hand liked to moon out of car windows. Exciting? Okay if that floats your boat. It obviously did his…but he was an extremely overweight, balding middle aged man who liked to see himself as a pillar of society.
Masonry…Rotary etc (for what its worth I was head hunted to become one of Rotary's first women members because they knew I could put their club back on the map with my parties, fund raising dinners etc)…so I was no slouch in that dept. I always dressed well…she on the other hand was gauche, couldn`t hold a knife and fork, with a profile that belonged on a totem pole. But when finally cornered and caught `Bang to Rights` he admitted she had Charisma. A girl friend had a tee shirt printed for me that said Nil Charisma. He wasn`t amused but entirely besotted.
I think what upset me most was being backed into a situation where I had to retreat in order to not feel like a jealous wife so I handed it to them on a plate. His MO was to Deny deny deny which he did to his dying day. His big mistake was allowing me the freedom to carve a new life for myself which was his undoing but we didn`t divorce (which I now regret).
Being the Narcissistic Control Freak he was, he still managed to dictate how my life should be even when I moved to a different country. Finally it all came `on top`as he grew diabetic, had various heart attacks and then needed me to look after him. She went on to break up another marriage and has since divorced. Such is life. It was mostly a waste. Mine.
He died in my arms aged 83. A sad sorry specimen. Oh, my nephew on his own deathbed confessed that his Uncle and "that woman" had "explained" themselves to him. He said it was like his father telling him he`d been bonking the woman next door while his mother was cooking Sunday dinner. But I always knew, in spite of his protestations. I was never enough.. but I was NEVER going to be enough. Or any other woman. He was ego driven, poor poor thing…but I'd sure as hell like to have my life back. End of rant.
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They might. Most often they do, because it is intentional, as you noted. They want to feed off of your feelings regarding the new supply.
I’ve known narcissists quite well. Let me tell you, they actually laugh and think it’s funny to see your reactions when they have a new supply. This can be anyone, even a parent triangulating one child against the others.
The best thing to do is pretend they don’t even exist. Don’t give them that satisfaction.
The narcissist should be dead to you. They are dead. They mean nothing, and they are nothing because they aren't even real people.
https://www.quora.com/Does-the-narcissist-intentionally-introduce-you-to-the-new-supply
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Why are narcissists
so rude and mean?
They disrespect to feel superior.
They disrespect when they are feeling inferior.
They disrespect when they have no reason to put on a show.
They disrespect because they are “being funny”, lighten up, why are you getting agitated? It was a joke.
But if you said the same thing to them….you’d be hearing shite about it for years. Like a broken record.
They disrespect to get a rise out of you.
They disrespect what they can’t have or control.
They disrespect anything that invokes envy.
They disrespect to diminish you.
Disrespect is their baseline.
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I'm going to tell you why. Because narcissist are demonic. The female narc is often possessed by the demon Jezebel and she will lay with whomever she pleases, whenever. They are GARBAGE! The worst form of despot their is. Don't entertain trying to keep one. They are just like trying to love a demon from Hell. Can't be done. I promise on everything, it's a waste of your time and it will destroy your life. Toss the parasites.
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Narcissists believe in instilling fear and fear those who can harm them if messed with. So narcissist will never disrespect those whom they fear can harm them back or expose them, but will be manipulatively disrespectful to the harmless ones (their obvious target).
Even then, the real narcissists will only begin to show their contempt for their target once the target is isolated within the narcissists comfort zone. However, the narcissists will create and propagate a perception that their target is disrespectful in projecting the target eventually as ‘narcissist’, and hence deserving of the abusive treatment. Hence, one has to actually study scenarios to actually identify who is actually being disrespectful.
When we are dealing with a narcissist, we cannot just rely on a primitive definition that narcissists are still a child. That is why narcissists try to infantilize their target through abuse, behavior manipulation causing bitter frustration and eventually extracting a reaction that can be attributed to a childish behavior, and show that the target is a narcissist.
The more you show respect to “real narcissists” the more abusive they become towards you and call you disrespectful when you ask them polite questions, because Narcissists love to sabotage those who respect them. Narcissists wants those around them fear them, not respect them.
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They are very insecure people with very fragile egos by nature lack empathy for others and are incredibly self absorbed
When they treat you badly for no valid reason it is all in an attempt to control you and keep you at their disposal.
They don't feel bad either, they feel entitled and justified to treat you like sh!t.
Its actually rather pathetic when you see just how insecure these people are. They never developed fully. They are still playing pretend and make believe.
They have to hurt you to not feel bad about themselves. They rather feel in control of how they make you feel since they hate the way they feel about them self. They are little insecure people who can never be equally responsible in a healthy adult relationship.
A relationship to a narcissist is somewhat like a relationship you would have with a child. You are the adult they are the child. They throw tantrums, have no reasoning skills, and to argue with one is like trying to prove your point to a 4 year old. You will never win because they're reasoning does not make sense.
Deep down they have insurmountable insecurities and they avoid dealing with their own issues by mind-screwing people like you and I.
They lack empathy for whatever reason (could of been they had narcissistic parents and learned from them or perhaps they were given everything they wanted all their upbringing and never grew out of getting what they wanted by throwing a fit…etc no excuse to be a brat still as an adult we grow out of that selfish childish nature and its a choice).
They have no boundaries for others. They walk all over us with no regard or without ever feeling bad.
If unaware of what is going on then its easy to get sucked into their deceptive world of bullshit without even knowing it. Once they gained your emotional attachment is when they most likely will demonstrate their ‘true’ nature by degrading, devaluing, sudden withdraw, gaslight, silent treatment, disappear, the list of vindictive tactics go on.
They feed off attention of others. They feel the need to control you to keep you around to stroke their ego because they are so insecure. So pathetic most of them actually deep down under their mask have no true sense of self worth. And this reality they will avoid at all costs and especially at sake of harming others.
They just want people around to be involved in their lives to make them feel important and never have to deal with their insecurities. They are so fake. They are not fair. They want you to be devoted to them regardless if you want to or not. They don't care what you want. They care only about what is beneficial to them.
They need your validation. They need to demonstrate the power they have over you by treating you in unimaginable ways to create havoc and chaos in your mind thus keeping you forever bonded to their destructive and ugly secret nature of hating who they are.
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-rude-and-mean
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Why do narcissists run away?
What makes a narcissist run away is when you start calling them out. When you stop seeing them through those rose-colored glasses, and you see their true self. When you start speaking up for yourself, sharing your opinions, and not falling for their manipulation or lies anymore—when you start asking questions. Basically, when they're held accountable or have to take responsibility, that's when a narcissist runs.
They'll give you the silent treatment, smear your name, and spread lies to make it seem like you caused all the problems. They'll go to mutual friends, family, co-workers—anyone you both know—to get them on their side as fast as possible.
They'll gaslight you, breadcrumb you, get angry, discard you, and try to make you feel like it's all your fault. They'll start pointing fingers, shutting things down, pulling away, and giving you the cold shoulder.
So, if you know someone is a narcissist, you have to be ready to be done with them. Because if you speak up, they’ll start discarding you, manipulating you, gaslighting you, and trying to control the situation. If you plan to confront a narcissist or suspect your partner is one, you have to accept that the relationship is likely over once you speak up.
Narcissists hate being called out or checked because they believe they’re perfect and that everything they do is right.
If someone is bad-mouthing and smearing someone else, ask yourself, "Why are they saying all this?" It could be a narcissist trying to control the situation because someone called them out.
They’ll gaslight you, give you the silent treatment, and then get rid of you. They'll find someone else who believes their lies and fantasies. So, when you call out a narcissist, be prepared to leave. Go no contact, or they’ll keep bringing drama into your life.
Narcissists hold grudges and do all sorts of things. That's just how they are. When I say "calling someone out," I mean setting boundaries and saying, "Hey, I didn't like it when you did this." When you set boundaries and ask for respect, a narcissist will run.
It’s not about your feelings; it’s about the narcissist. If you don't like them, they'll get rid of you, and it won’t be pretty. There will be consequences. When you call out a narcissist, it’s like going to war. You have to be ready to fight because they won't stop. They'll spy on you, keep tabs on you, and make sure you're not stepping out of line.
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They run away because they know you’re in the right and what you’re saying is facts and they don’t have nothing to back themselves up or they’re just afraid of being in the wrong. When you call them out on the things that they do they’ll try to change the subject completely because they know that everything you say will sabotage their whole mindset.
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Because they are cowards.
Narcissists are quintessential cowards; hence their bully’s posturing. Bullies will bully as long as they can get away with it. If confronted with a situation they can’t “win” or a person they can’t outdo or control, they will exit the scene to avoid consequences and/or humiliation.
An NPD family member of mine often attacked and fled, breaking things and slamming doors, and then leaving others terrorized and abandoned in the wake of his irrational rage.
Developmentally they are little children, after all, filled with buried shame and carrying the weight of their grandiose compensatory facade.
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They are hollow, shallow and devoid of true substance.
They puff themselves up because beneath it all their fragile ego would crumble to dust if the light of truth ever penetrated their darkness.
Their life is like an abandoned room filled with cobwebs, dust, spiders and moldy curtains. The windows of their souls shattered with jagged edges. Life has seeped out of the gaping hole window of their existence. Any sign of human warmth, empathy or emotion has been replaced, zombie-like, leaving behind a wretched twisted creature, doomed to live out his or her experience as a parasitic leech - unable to exist as a healthy fully functional being. They suck the life blood out of those who are fortunate to feel, think, laugh and cry.
In essence they have sold their soul to the devil and are nothing more than vampires.
If you shine light on them, turn a mirror of truth towards them or calmly enquire as to their bizarre behavior it may be enough to send them slithering away to eek out new prey.
The above worked for me. It’s been nearly a year since I told my covert narcissist husband that I was finished. Luckily for me he moved very far away and we have zero contact.
Each day is a clean fresh breath of air ever since that demonic beast slunk away.
My wish for anyone out there currently trapped by one of these ghouls, is that you find the key to exterminate them from the interior of your soul.
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Well, it’s a mind scrambling mad list. But you asked so here it is..
being unmasked
losing supply
things aren’t rosey with current supply
things aren’t rosey in their life in general
moving between supply
Breakup with a secondary supply who might let the cat out the bag
loss of money
loss of status
loss of job
someone has caught them in a lie
someone has caught them cheating
primary supply is ill
they are ill
They hide when they can’t maintain the perfect image of a winner.
They hide when they get caught in their own dirty web.
They hide when life bites them in the arse.
They have to maintain a perfect illusion at all costs. So when a narcissist goes quiet you can be sure that the sh!t has hit the fan for them in some way.
And they likely deserve it, too.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-run-away
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Will a narcissist be happy
with someone else after moving on?
They will not be happy with the new person.
Remember, you were new once too. What they did with you they will do with the next one and all the ones after that. Narcissism is a set of rigid behaviors that are destructive and crazy-making. The narcissist is a very disordered person who desperately needs people to validate them but cannot help driving those people away.
Rest assured they do not change. They will not suddenly pull a 180 and walk off into the sunset with someone else because you were the bad guy. They want you to think that. It’s just their nasty parting gift after the discard. Don’t believe it because it’s a lie.
Thinking a narc will change is like thinking a snake will change. It only sheds its skin.
It’s always still a snake.
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Your first issue is worrying about how happy they “won’t” be after moving on. The f*ckers never “move on,” but you can. And they aren’t happy. They mimic happy, that’s it. But they are damn good at it.
If you don’t believe they never move on, then contact them. If they don’t answer the first few, or hundred times you try, keep trying. Sooner or later they will need something from you, and the proof will be in the pudding.
What you need to worry about is if you can “move on.”
But you see, for “us” the ones who went through the merry-go-round of manipulationville, it is no easy feat.
Breaking the trauma bond is such a small part of “us” moving on. The residuals will hang around for some time no matter how much you think you’ve “moved” on.
Then after the residuals, you will see your little nuggets of toxic you brought to the relationship. And I’m telling you, it can be debilitating.
You have the toxic residual from them, then you are introduced to your shite you have going on too.
The narcissists doesn’t “move on,” they just move to a most clueless person who puts up with their bullshit. Just as you did.
Sooner, or later, that person, the next person and the persons after that are going through and asking the same question you just asked. Wondering if they are happy with the new person.
Has nothing to do with “moving on.”
The most important part of this sh!t can’t be explained, only experienced. Just like the abuse itself.
You have to “move on” to realize you aren’t moving on.
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
What is it you need to see, you ask?
The hidden version of yourself you didn’t know exist.
It’s in there.
Keep moving on and you will catch a glimpse.
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The narcissist doesn't genuinely feel happiness.
They will stay content as long as they don't get exposed.
But understand the fact that narcissists have a big gaping hole where their heart is. Incapable of empathizing with others.
Although they can act very well.
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Yes of course they will. And let’s be clear, they were in a relationship with your replacement long before they discarded you.
If not before, then they had someone(s) all picked out and were working on them while they were devaluing and abusing you. Happiness always fills a new relationship whether or not a narcissist is involved. That is until the honeymoon phase is over. Narcs will be over the moon with their new shiny partner until the newness wears off and then devaluation starts. Or, if the replacement stops giving them the supply of resources they need and crave then it is game over also.
But happy? Narcs are never happy even when they are pretending.
They can’t attach emotionally to anyone so they pretend but that is not real and a setup for disaster in a relationship with a pwNPD. Because they cannot form meaningful bonds with ANYONE their relationships are shallow and always on shaky ground and their disorder prompts them to seek out something “better.” It is a vicious cycle and how can THAT be happy?
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Sure. For a New York minute.
The narc will be exhilarated during most of the love bombing time. Eventually, though, the person will start acting like themselves - with likes, and wants and desires; these won’t match the narc’s, so the narc will get all confused and angry. Then the narc will believe you purposely deceived him/her, and so the devaluing starts.
Plus, you have to remember that narcs have to deal with boredom A LOT. Even if you were wonderful at the beginning, the narc will ALWAYS get bored with you. Then they start looking for someone else.
The narc is nothing but a little child playing with a toy. When the toy is new, the narc is happy. After a while, they toy isn’t new anymore, and the narc gets bored. Then the narc goes looking for a new toy. Wake up people. This is the way it is with a narc.
https://www.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-be-happy-with-someone-else-after-moving-on
-
Why is it important
to ignore a narcissist?
Let us look at it this way.
You have an old beater of a car. The car still looks good but mechanically it continues to let you down. It is undependable, it is frustrating and it negatively affects your life because you are putting everything into this car just to keep it running so you can get on with your life. It becomes so discouraging that this object that you have loved and cared for is not giving you anything back.
One day you go out to your precious car and the POS will not start…again! You have had enough. You have dumped too much time and too much money into it. You call a tow truck and have it junked, you are done. You feel bad, you miss that old car. You loved it, took care of it and when you first obtained it, it was good to you and for you. Man, you miss that car.
BUT - do you miss it enough to go to the junk yard and have it towed back to your local mechanic so you can dump more love, money and time into it? No, you remember all of the heartache it gave you. You leave it where it is and you move on. You eventually get over that old car. You might think about the good times you had with and in that car, but you still leave it alone.
This is what you must do with a narcissist. You MUST junk it. It is not a person with any humanity. It is broken and no mechanic has the skills to fix the narc, ESPECIALLY YOU! You cannot allow the narc back into your life. Their life is the junk yard and they were (and are) trying to suck you into the yard with them.
In time you got a new(er) car. One that is dependable and trustworthy. One that you took care of and it takes care of you. It gets you where you need to be in your life. It takes you to work and back home. It takes you to the hospital when your father is ill. You drive it through the mountains to clear your head. Although just an object, you can depend on it.
If you ignore the narcissist, in time you will find someone who loves you as much as you love them. You will take care of each other, respect each other and support each other. This person will not want you in the junk yard, they will want you right next to them no matter where you end up.
If you fail to ignore the narc, you will never get out of the junk yard. You will die broken and abandoned next to many other victims the narc abused. Your life will be crushed, but unfortunately not recycled. That is why you must ignore the narcissist.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-best-to-ignore-narcissistic-mind-games
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Narcissists can't seem to get out of their own way.
1 step forward, 3 steps back.
How a Narcissist Faces Their Karma
Through Self Sabotage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pz6x1G0U8Bo
-
Living simply and building character is the best way to rid oneself from the narcissist's evil influence.
8 Ways Narcissists
Create Toxicity, And How To Detox
Time reveals that narcissists aren't just difficult, they are toxic. They approach you with damaging, erosive, and infectious patterns. Dr. Les Carter highlights eight of the most common ways they create toxicity, then discusses key strategies for detoxing.
@carolnahigian9518
9 hours ago
their love is a ONE WAY STREET: you love them; They USE YOU.
@BaraSchmidt
10 hours ago (edited)
While it may seem that a "Meet fire with fire" approach may work with a Narcissistic individual, don't buy into that mindset. It's like the old adage: "It's like you are drinking the poison in hopes of harming them!"
They live for that!! Stop the game at the start. Pivot to the Healthy side of life! See you there!
@snowbear1877
5 hours ago
They always flip it around. If you try to stand up to them, they distance themselves from you and make you out to be the problem.
@yukio_saito
2 days ago
As the video note says, their toxicity is infectious. It's essential to keep social distancing with them forever.
@shannaeverson641
8 hours ago
This has been my life w my husband 28 years. I am separated and trying to detox now that I've gotten away from all this. Exactly to a T what I have lived through. 4 years of help now from a narc parent and now a husband. Toughest days but I'm gonna get better and I'm on board with Healthy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqR56N5dmmg
-
Every Narcissist I have dealt with in my life has been Machiavellian.
So I think of it as one and the same.
The Truth About Machiavellian Narcissistic Abusers
@lienlael3196
1 year ago (edited)
I was exposed to a female Machiavellian Narcissist for over 20 years. I totally forgot who I was, and start with the symptoms you've described. She manipulated my mom and dad, and abused them financially in a very sneaky way, almost unnoticeable. This argentinian lofty and arrogant woman is a freaking witch. She presents all the behaviors you've described here in this video. Her only daughter ended up a narcissist and she now is ruining her husband's life in all manners and ways possible. These are diabolical entities dressed as humans.
@dannettepeters1507
1 year ago
Our government is full of these characters!!
@sarahs5340
3 months ago (edited)
Five years on/off with a malignant: The way they treat those around them is disgusting.
I became so hyper-vigilant and my anxiety became so high that it massively affected my life. Digestive issues! I had to get out. I finally stopped loving him. He finally stopped being interesting to me and I saw the situation with him for what it was. I don’t know why “figuring him out” became such a fascination for me, but it did. Working on getting my own life! Working on having healthy boundaries.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WBOXJuERic
-
Sabotaging the lives of people is sheer entertainment for her. They live for this. They also live to pit people against each other.
Top Signs You are Dealing with
A DANGEROUS FEMALE
Malignant Narcissist or Sociopath
In. today's video Jill explains what exactly to look out for to determine if someone in your life may be a very dangerous female malignant narcissist or sociopath, and what to do if you are.
@The_Super_NOVA
6 months ago
I've been targeted by multiple women like this. Their coincidentally combined efforts ruined my friendships, relationships, love life, and jobs. Do not underestimate them! Run while you can!!!
@mustafanaser9789
10 months ago
I had such a women. She has literally destroyed my life. I got severe depression because of her narcistic traits. Once I got severely depressed she left me. Now she is terrorising the next one.
@stephenestall9044
1 year ago (edited)
I am 78 years of age, and have a sister five years younger than myself who fits the mould of a dangerous malignant narcissist perfectly. I've had a lifetime of her destructive evil ways, but three years ago, after another scene, I decided I needed to go 'no contact' to keep my own sanity. Unfortunately. this has also meant me withdrawing from her children and grandchildren too which has been a very distressing thing for me. It is unbelievable how much damage these lying, manipulating, evil people can cause to close family members. My heart goes out to similar recipients of this terrible abuse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNUwCsXSwqA&t=137s
-
What does it mean when a narcissist doesn’t bother to talk to you after the discard?
When a narcissist doesn't bother to talk to you after the discard, it could mean a few things about how they see the situation:
First off, it's important to remember that narcissists often have a different way of thinking than most people. They might not see relationships the same way. So, if they're not talking to you, it could be because they've moved on to something or someone else that seems more interesting to them at the moment.
It might also mean that they don't feel the need to explain themselves or their actions. Narcissists often focus on their own needs and desires, and they might not think it's necessary to have a conversation about why they've decided to end things. They might assume that you'll figure it out or that it's not their responsibility to talk about it.
Another possibility is that they're trying to assert control or power. By not talking to you, they might be sending a message that they are the one in charge, and they get to decide when and if communication happens. It's a way for them to maintain a sense of dominance in the relationship, even after the discard.
The best day of your life so far is gonna be the day when the narcissist completely stops talking to you because that'll be the day that you can start your new life where you're focused on yourself, your own goals, and your own healing.
_______________________________
It means you have been given a great gift. Hoping to be contacted again by someone who has abused you is like hoping your cancer will metastasize. Don’t wish for it, and be grateful for every day of freedom you have.
_____________________________
It certainly is a positive sign! This is what you want. That is what is should look like. Just remember they are out there. Its not unlike them to text ,call ,whatever, out of the blue . Its a shock when it happens. NO CONTACT. Who cares what they want, NO CONTACT.
Just know, they are out there, but don't give a shite about them. You don't need me or anyone to tell you that much!! Enjoy that you are done with them, get on with life.
______________________________
It could mean a number of things.
S/he is busy with the new love interest. (You’re just an annoyance at the moment).
S/he is busy grooming the new love interest while you’re being punished. (And smearing your name around town).
You’ve discarded him and by doing so inflicted injury. He is raging (pouting) and wanting you to reach out. (So he can smuggly brag to friends while humiliating you).
His massive ego is preventing him from contacting you (whom he believes is of lesser quality).
He is afraid you will rat him out to the new girl. (Whom is quality supply and he’s not done with her yet).
He is testing your discretion and patience as a possible side chick. (Your supply of support, money, drugs and sex is worth keeping around for emergencies).
He is sizing up your commitment to him, and comparing you to the others. You have not made the cut yet. (He’s just going to have sex with a few more to make sure he makes the right decision).
He has not yet hit the level of desperation he will need to kiss your ass for another go at destroying you emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. (because he’s trolling for someone better). (Naive and unaware).
The strength and confidence you have demonstrated as your relationship was ending has made him uneasy about contacting you. He’s afraid of rejection and your insight puts his charade in danger. (You know too much and he needs someone naive with weak boundaries to groom for his purpose.)
You are better than this, and you know it. He is not good for you, and you know that too. It’s going to hurt but that pain is not a life sentence. It will get better. Take this gift of power and control and walk away with grace and dignity.
You’ve got this.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-it-mean-when-a-narcissist-even-doesn-t-bother-to-talk-to-you-after-the-discard
-
5 Creepy Things a Narcissist Does When the Relationship Ends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tLSD5LfUwY
-
All that prophecy about the Kingdom Of Heaven. Jesus said "You'll know them by their fruits"
What Would Jesus Say About Narcissists and Narcissistic Abuse?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ8vYCDupdw
-
When you're caught in a narcissist's grip, you don't even realize it.
WHEN YOU ARE IN IT
YOU CAN’T SEE IT
When you are in it, you can’t see it. When you are in the narcissistic abusive cycle, it is hard to recognize where you are. You weren’t taught narcissism 101 in school so you didn’t know there was a name for the kind of relationship you were in. The narcissist however, knew who they were and what they were doing to you. The narcissist, always has the advantage over the target until the target breaks the chains of the narcissistic abuse of cycle and goes no contact and heals properly. Now once you’ve healed, you can identify and see the signs of toxicity. You can say no the strongest word in the English language. You can leave the narcissist in the past boundaries slow your life down and begin to reach the pinnacle of indifference the mountain top of indifference. Sending strength and positive energy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1R1idLqfOk
-
They shut you down because they don’t want to hear truth about their behaviors. They use deflection or silence to confuse you. Ask yourself would you call someone “argumentative” if they had a concern or question about your behaviors?. Narcissists imbue insecurity in conversations to maintain control. Be strong.
-
VegasGirl Show with Ron Tello
HOW LONG AFTER YOU DONT PAY RENT DO YOU GET A 3 DAY NOTICE
Light discussion on the eviction process, Narcissism, The Line Fire and a preview about Tello's Upcoming YouTube Show.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ms9uPllZupc&t=1137s
-
The more you love a narcissist, the more they hate you..
5 Hidden Gifts Narcissist Hates
You For Having
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uXh5w1aiD4
-
It's all about control. Once you accept that fact, you'll understand.
Why The Narcissist Stops Having Sex With You
In this video, we delve into the perplexing and often painful reasons why a narcissist might stop having sex with you. Narcissists are known for their manipulative and self-centered behaviors, and their approach to intimacy is no different.
When a narcissist withholds sex, it is often a tactic to exert control, manipulate emotions, or punish their partner. This sudden withdrawal can leave you feeling confused, rejected, and desperate for answers.
By understanding the psychological mechanisms at play, such as the narcissist's need for power, validation, and their tendency to devalue their partners, we can gain insight into their behavior. Join us as we explore the signs, reasons, and ways to cope with this challenging dynamic in a relationship with a narcissist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-To1KJarhMc
-
What are some possible reasons for the immaturity and childish behavior of narcissistic individuals?
Narcissists act immaturely for a variety of reasons. One major reason is their lack of empathy, as they sometimes fail to recognize the emotional needs and feelings of others. This can lead them to think that their own opinions are more important than those of anyone else, creating an issue where they can come off as childish or selfish in their interactions with other people.
Additionally, narcissists often have difficulty dealing with criticism due to the fact that they view themselves in idealized terms and feel extremely sensitive when confronted with anything which challenges this image.
Rather than being able to take constructive feedback on board or even just accept it gracefully, narcissists will often react defensively and resort back to immature behavior like name-calling or sulking.
Furthermore, many narcissistic individuals end up feeling insecure about not being ‘enough’ and need constant attention from others as a means of validation for their self worth - something which does not bode well for emotionally mature relationships or interactions within society at large.
In order to continually get these boosts from external sources, narcissists may display immature behaviors in order to extract favors from those around them such as trying overly hard to please people or telling jokes that no one finds funny but make them laugh anyway.
Ultimately this type of conduct only serves further damage the relationship between the individual displaying it and everyone else involved; if left unaddressed though, these narcissistic tendencies can serve harmful effects on personal well-being if gone unchecked over time too - so if you suspect someone close may be struggling then please do reach out accordingly!
______________________________
Narcissist suffer from Arrested Development, which is a term derived from the psychological effects of an adult man or woman, who has experienced childhood parental neglect.
To be more precise, problems in the parent-child relationship during each childhood developmental stage (infancy, toddler, adolescent or teenage years).
Arrested Development is being emotionally stuck at a certain age, depending on the timing of the experienced trauma during the developmental stages.
Past childhood traumas and or disturbances can also contribute to Arrested Development as well as abuse, car accidents and death.
It is important to know, that depending on the severity of the trauma experienced, each development phase impacts how the adult will handle the affects psychologically and emotionally.
_______________________________
Well - one should think a grown up person who acts like he owns the world and acts like he has the right to dictate and control all and everything would somehow base it on some mature decisions at least.
But if we speak of a narc that is quite the opposite. Which seen from a distance can lead to some rather hilarious predicaments for the narc sometimes - sadly when we approach closer we realize that the ones being in the predicaments are the victims of the narcs. There is absolutely nothing funny about a grown up person with a certain portion of power at hand when he acts out immature as a toddler.
But a toddler is what he is - developmentally.
The reason for this, psychology tells us (and this is the exact same reason so many empaths and people with a great sense of empathy so easily feel sorry for the narc and wants to save him from himself) - the reason is that mentally, developmentally, the narc stopped developing in a very early age.
The time where the childs’ soul was so traumatized that instead of “facing the world through the joys and pain the world brings” - the toddlers soul/mind/personality call it what you wish took on a self-protecting-strategy that meant letting go of anything that could even in the slightest way resemble a personality of its own - some were left with a little “leftovers” and some went all the way.
You see it in the rage and fury the narc can put up - you see it in the way he argues - the way he wants everything for himself - the way he can leave anyone behind with no second thought. It is all the immature infant pattern.
The narc never learned to become mature - because the trauma has kept him in that phase he was in when he was traumatized. And since narcissism develops in a very early age than most of them act very very immature.
(Mind you, in my answers I always use a male example. There are female narcs too, fewer, but equally vicious).
Sadly the traume that has caused the NPD is neurological which means not even all the collected empathy in the world could change a narc. This is, to me, the worst of it all. The utmost heartbreaking is to love a person and know you have to leave him because you will without a doubt crash and burn - some even kill themselves! - and you have not moved him one single bit. I think it is horrible to know. But not accepting this will drag you down in the Hell the narc lives in too. There is no point in that!
________________________________
They don't act immature. It's who they are.
Here's how it works.
To become mature, you need to understand the concepts and logics about life and learn from your experiences.
As you mature, you develop principals and morals.
The thing about these sh!ts is, they have no moral values, social ethics or respect for other people.
So they often come off as immature.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-possible-reasons-for-the-immaturity-and-childish-behavior-of-narcissistic-individuals-even-if-it-is-not-their-fault
-
:tello: "Narcissism flourishes in Government, Media and anyone else permanently stuck in a shirt or skirt".
Biggest Loser in Trump-Harris Debate Was Neither Candidate, Viewers Blast ABC’s Bias
By Mick Farthing
September 11, 2024
The media loves to protect Kamala Harris. Every time she stumbles, they rush to her defense. They twist the facts, spin the stories, and make sure she gets a free pass. Whether it’s dodging tough questions or spouting off misleading stats, the press is right there to clean up her mess. It’s almost as if they’re afraid to let her stand on her own.
But it’s obvious to anyone paying attention. During the recent presidential debate hosted by ABC News, the moderators were practically working for Harris. They fact-checked Trump in real-time while letting Harris get away with repeated falsehoods. It was so blatant, social media lit up with critics calling it the most biased debate in history. ABC didn’t just drop the ball – they threw it out of the stadium.
From Fox News:
The biggest loser in the first (and likely only) presidential debate between Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Trump was ABC News, which hosted the faceoff. The moderators, David Muir and Linsey Davis, embarrassed themselves and their network by, among other things, fact-checking Trump in real time on more than one occasion – sometimes incorrectly – while allowing Harris to spout serial lies and distortions.
Let’s break down some of Harris’s biggest whoppers that the media ignored. First, she falsely claimed that Trump would push for a nationwide abortion ban. That’s not in any manifesto of his. Then, she dredged up the old “very fine people” line from Charlottesville, which has been debunked time and time again. But ABC’s moderators stayed silent
She also blamed Trump for overseeing the worst unemployment since the Great Depression, conveniently forgetting that it was caused by a global pandemic. Harris claimed Trump opposed IVF, denied calling for gun confiscation (despite video evidence), and repeated the tired claim that Trump’s tax cuts only benefited the wealthy. And perhaps the biggest stretch? That she and Biden “created” 800,000 manufacturing jobs. Not true. None of it.
Despite these glaring inaccuracies, the moderators focused their fact-checking efforts on Trump. They grilled him, interrupted him, and let Harris off the hook. It was three against one. But that’s what we’ve come to expect from the liberal media.
Trump, for his part, didn’t play the game as well as he could have. While Harris was polished and rehearsed, Trump meandered at times. He had the facts on his side – a strong economy pre-COVID, peace in the Middle East, sanctions that crippled Iran’s influence – but he didn’t hammer them home like he should have. Instead, he veered into old talking points, claiming once again that he won the 2020 election.
That was a mistake. The media pounced on it, reviving the narrative that Trump is a “threat to democracy.” He missed opportunities to press Harris on real issues, like her failure to curb illegal immigration or the flood of fentanyl killing Americans.
Still, Trump had his moments. He reminded viewers that Biden and Harris kept his tariffs on China because they worked. He called out their supposed job “creation,” pointing out these were simply rebound jobs from the pandemic. His closing statement hit the hardest: Why hadn’t Harris delivered on any of her promises over the past three and a half years? Why hadn’t she fixed the border or created jobs?
The moderators didn’t ask those questions. But the American people should.
Key Takeaways:
>The media consistently protects Kamala Harris, allowing her to avoid accountability for misleading statements while aggressively fact-checking Trump.
>During the ABC News debate, Harris made several false claims about Trump’s record, including misinformation on abortion, Charlottesville, and job creation, which went unchecked.
>Trump missed some key opportunities to challenge Harris effectively, but his strongest moment was questioning why she hadn’t addressed major issues like the border or job creation during her time in office.
Source: Fox News
https://pjnewsletter.com/biggest-loser-in-trump-harris/?utm_source=tpi&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TPI09112024BR2IE
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Biden Flips on
Kamala .....
#MAGA
-
NARC DONUTS
Look what Dunkin Donuts said about Rumble
Rumble
rumble.com
From:
newsletter@rumble.com
To:
RonTello
Wed, Sep 11 at 8:18 AM
Hi Rumbler,
Dunkin Donuts decided they don't want to advertise on Rumble because they say "the right wing culture of the site is too polarizing".
I responded to them with this video: https://rumble.com/v5ecanp-dunkin-donuts.html
(I trashed their coffee).
Join Rumble Premium so we can survive without these discriminating brands.
Use code "dunkin" to get $10 off Rumble Premium.
Tell your friends to do the same. Together we can end this blatant discrimination by Corporate America.
Thanks,
Chris Pavlovski
CEO of Rumble
444 Gulf of Mexico Dr.
Longboat Key, FL 34228, USA.
reneny3
1 day ago
Guess they didn't hear about the Bud Light boycott. Big mistake!
daryljohns
1 day ago
Sounds like we need to do a Bud Light boycott on this company. No more DD for me!
Punkin432
1 day ago
Dunkin you just lost my business. You siding with the Democrats who are evil tells me who and what you are. Your coffee is way too expensive anyway. I hope you get boycotted.
-
What is it that narcissists don't want you to know?
Here are some things that narcissists don't want you to know:
The really hurtful thing they said or did that you called them out for. You know, that one topic that always keeps coming up, and they keep telling you that they didn’t know it would hurt you so much, but then they repeat it. Yeah, they know it’s hurting you; they just don’t care.
If you are constantly fighting and arguing with a narcissist, they don’t have any interest in fixing it. In fact, they thrive off the drama and the chaos. So, while you’re over here trying to fix the same fight you’ve had seven or eight times—because it’s absolutely exhausting—it fuels them to keep fighting with you. And then all they have to do is trick you into thinking that they don’t want to fight anymore either.
A narcissist does not want you to know what they’re doing when they stonewall you. They block you, they ghost you, but it’s never innocent. Remember, narcissists are transactional people; they’re never doing something unless they can get something from it. If they’re refusing to communicate with you when you’re begging them to talk, it’s because they’re either trying to gain control over you or doing something that you can’t know about.
Another thing narcissists don’t want you to know is the real them. They present themselves at the beginning of the relationship as more successful, more respected, and more well-liked in the community than they actually are. They need to appear as an extremely desirable romantic partner, so they exaggerate and lie. Any failed relationships in the past are never their fault—oh no, that ex was crazy, and this ex was crazy.
They know they are falsely inflating their self-image to suck you into their web of abuse. They will never stop doing this with each partner.
In the love bombing phase, it’s an integral part of their personality disorder. Narcissists don’t want you to know that they only have so much time before you catch on to their games, their lies, their manipulations, their inauthenticity.
At some point, you’ll start to question why their actions don’t line up with their words. They know this because they’ve had relationships time and time again, so they will try to trap you quickly. They’ll try to get you to move into their house, sell your house, move into your place, get engaged fast, and tell you that they love you on the first few dates.
Then, they’ll devalue you and start to dig at your self-esteem so that you feel like you can never leave. But you can leave, and you should leave. You should get away from these people.
____________________________
Their REAL strategy from day one. The truth is all about destroying you in every way and never building you.
They want you to multiply the kingdom of the evil one. If you won’t do that, then face destruction.
They are the worst kind of parents.
No child is ever safe with a narcissist.
The more they harm you, the more they enjoy it.
They are brilliant actors. Impressive and their level of mirroring can be so good, it can easily fool you.
Narcissists want to keep you their victim until you suicide. When you do that, they will feel extreme pleasure at how powerful they are.
A narcissist is always an enigma. You may have lived with this individual for 50 years but really and truly, you can never say you know that person as they act all day long every single day.
Narcissists do not have an identity. They are like a chameleon changing whoever they are to take advantage of any situation.
Their depth of evil is not human. Sorry it just runs too deep.
All narcissists are abusive. What differs is the depth of their evil.
A narcissist is always cheating you in every way. Accept it.
If you slight a narcissist, they will steal or destroy what is most precious to you. Just to show you how powerful they are.
All they care is that you give them supply. Your pain equals supply. Your pain equals pleasure. So make sure you put them on a diet from supply. Learn self discipline.
All narcissists are weak in character, and they are f*cking cowards. To become strong in character, we must remain authentic and face our challenges.
The abuse is always intended and the abuse will always increase.
____________________________
Narcissists don't want you to know their true intentions, who they really are, what they are capable of, and what they have done in the past. Narcissists do not want you to see behind their fake facade; The MASK. They want you to only accept them, because of their deep-seated fear of rejection and abandonment.
They don't want you to know they are only in it for themselves, and that they are takers and not givers. They don’t want you to know that they will try to destroy every opportunity they get.
They won’t tell you that they know you’re strong, and noble which makes them weak and immoral.
They won't tell you that they need you far greater than you ever needing them.
They won’t tell you that your happiness reminds them of their inability to happy.
They won’t tell you that they have a great deal of self-hatred, and self-loathing.
They won’t tell you that they fear rejection, and hate being called out on their behavior or criticized for anything.
They won’t tell you that they live a double life with many different skeletons in their closets that will scare you like the boogie man.
They don't want you to know that they don’t care about you and have no ability to care about you, and for you. They do not have access to attributes like compassion, empathy - and only think about what they want or need from others.
Despite all that, the narcissist will do everything possible to manipulate you, to give them that much more leverage over you as a way to control you.
They don't want you to know that they are unable to generate good feelings from within, because they have nothing good to offer except chaos, confusion, and emotional terror.
They don't want you to know that there is a significant and profound fear of abandonment residing at the core of their inner psyche. They deal with inner demons, and emotional torture.
Underneath the confidant exterior is a weak, vulnerable, and insecure individual who is empty, shallow, and afraid. Narcissists do not want you to know that it is in your best interest to run from them, as fast, and far away from them as you can.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-it-that-narcissists-dont-want-you-to-know
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Does a narcissist know
when their behaviour is out of line?
Yes! And they step down… for a while - but never because they feel any guilt or remorse. It is only to play the hard Card of - Cold Indifference. Mean hateful cold arrogant prideful stance - as though they are the offended party.
All to make you grovel and plead for their forgiveness. To once again attempt to deem yourself worthy to be in their presence. So mind boggling and leaves you dumbfounded at first- but once hooked & vested in the commitment- I continued to try. They know when they have gone to far when you retreat into your thoughts and reflection.
When they see that you have stopped reacting and take your self into consideration. That makes them - take a reprieve from the bombardment, rage and insulting comportment. Just for a time. Until they get you back to the allowing and accepting stage.
_______________________________
All relationships with narcissists are asymmetrical in their dynamic structure. One of the two of you is on the lower tier of this dynamic. The one in control and calling all the shots is the guy/girl on top. When do narcissists realize the gig is up? When the power dynamic shifts and the victim starts to rebel, the narcissist will feel the imbalance and panic.
Depending on the victim’s resources, sustaining the efforts toward personal responsibility will begin to embolden the victim to move on. Beginning with the first sustained withdrawal, the narcissist knows he/she has lost control.
Without much intellectual depth and unable to process the significance of their contribution to your withdrawal, the narcissist is left to stew in the juices of his unrequited loss of narcissistic supply. No longer alienated from her own identity, the victim and the victimizer start to exchange roles.
The moment when the victim no longer tolerates the peculiarities of a one dimensional relationship, is when the abuser begins to face the reality of his own insignificance. In the absence of a victim to manipulate, the perpetrator is left to bare the brunt of his own pain.
_________________________________
Yes—this is part of their thrill.
They know full well when they crossed the line then sit back and watch and wait to see what your reaction will be. If you finally have “had it” and try and break up with them, they will immediately go into hovering mode to win you back. This is also part of the thrill for them—the ability to re-manipulate you and bring you back into its web.
Once this is accomplished, the narc will then proceed to “punish” you for ever trying to break up with them in the first place. It’s a wicked cycle of non-stop mind games all played to keep you under their spell.
https://www.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-know-when-their-behaviour-is-out-of-line
-
What did your
NARCISSIST
do to you?
https://www.quora.com/What-did-your-NARCISSIST-do-to-you
-
From:
JH Simon
jhsimon@substack.com
To:
m86thecat@yahoo.com
Thu, Sep 12 at 1:50 AM
Every Narcissist Is Unique
In the DSM-5 manual, one of the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder is ‘A belief that he or she is special and unique…’
After years of contemplation, I have finally decided that it is time to give narcissists their time in the sun. To admit that, yes, they are indeed unique —except not in the way they think.
Same Old Narcissist
When people talk about narcissists, there’s a ubiquity to it, as though ‘the narcissist’ is one person. In the collective psyche, ‘the narcissist’ is a bogeyman, someone to despise and avoid. The best spell or weapon we have against this bogeyman is called ‘no contact’. Otherwise, if you simply stand still and do not transmit any emotions, the narcissist should lose their scent and leave you alone.
The narcissist’s traits and strategies are well-documented and widely-understood. Selfishness. Manipulation. Fantasy. Dishonesty. Infidelity. Gaslighting. Reactive abuse. Idealise-devalue-discard. The narcissist will suck your emotional life out of you and spit you out when they are done.
A narcissist is so predictable. Once a person’s behaviour fits the label in some way, they seem to lose all uniqueness as a human being. They become the label, and everything that comes with it. Narcissist.
The reality is far more complex. Yet is is not the narcissist’s favourite colour or the way they flick their hair which makes them unique — it is the narcissism itself. More specifically, it is the core trauma behind the narcissism which makes the narcissist unique.
A Recipe For Disaster
Complex trauma manifests in various forms, many of which are rarely spoken about in the popular discourse.
The Cluster A, B and C Personality Disorder map (BELOW).Every narcissist has some of each, with some being more dominant and visible than others.
The schizoid response makes someone aloof and detached from human connection. Paranoia creates mistrust in the world. The more psychopathy someone develops, the more likely they are to manipulate others for the own end. The histrionic wants everyone to desire them, and uses their sexuality to maximum effect.
The borderline is emotionally dysregulated and self-destructive. Perfectionism and codependency as coping mechanisms lead to either over-investing or under-investing in people and life in general.
The fact is, all people with complex trauma are plagued by all of these responses to some degree. The reason we have a label for a narcissist is that their narcissistic symptoms dominate. Yet no narcissist is a true believer, just as no living organism remains the same. The narcissist is still a human, with a unique set of experiences, relationships and DNA.
The nature of the narcissist’s original wounding is also unique. Narcissists who were chronically neglected tend to fall into the schizoid response when times get rough. Those who were micro-managed by a narcissistic parent may become overtly narcissistic. Some narcissists are almost always in control, yet fall apart during a crisis and self-sabotage like a borderline. Anti-social behaviour might not be possible in certain environments, but when a narcissist breaks free and enters urban anonymity, then their psychopathic response is likely to activate. It is far easier to manipulate people who don’t know you well.
Environment, life situation, even luck produces a complex trauma ‘recipe’ with a unique blend of the above ingredients. Four cups of chronic neglect, a tablespoon of paranoia, a dash of schizoid, a cup of histrionic, a sprinkle of psychopathy, and voila; you have a narcissist.
The Freedom To Not Know
Narcissists can be incredibly adaptable. They will often shift their behaviours in response to the world and people around them. A narcissist can be brutally dominating in one relationship, while friendly and appeasing in another. They can string one person along for years, then start trying for a baby with someone they met last week. Sometimes a person with complex trauma will have a strong grandiosity exterior, yet at their core be more borderline or schizoid than narcissist. Some are psychopaths in disguise.
No narcissist is the same, and it is time to stop behaving as though they are. When we learn to see narcissism through the lense of complex trauma, we can better measure reality. A narcissist is a constantly-shifting kaleidescope of many personality responses, not a ‘definition’.
Rather than trying to take the perfect snapshot of a spinning kaleidescope, we need to accept that it is the kaleidescope itself that is the problem. Whether someone is acting from paranoia, or psychopathic self-interest, or narcissistic selfishness, or is acting out their borderline response in a fashion that is destructive to themselves and you, it makes no difference. Toxic is toxic, no matter how you look at.
Trying to understand the madness will only drive you mad. Instead, listen to your gut. Use the moment of crisis as an opportunity to deepen your relationship with your True Self. The core issue is that you were programmed into a predictable set of behaviours by someone who wanted to reduce you to a source of supply. Seeing the problem through a set of ‘scripts’ and ‘checkboxes’ keeps you in this ego-based mindset. True recovery means reclaiming your right to feel and think authentically. To be open to the world as it is.
This is what freedom from narcissism looks like.
Check out my Books on Narcissistic Abuse.
https://www.howtokillanarcissist.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-book-how-to-kill-a-narcissist
You can also Buy Me A Coffee to support my writing,
https://buymeacoffee.com/jh_simon?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
or Become A Paid Member of my Substack community to get regular premium articles and ask questions.
https://jhsimon.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
-
Do narcissists know they need narcissistic supply?
Does a drug addict know they need drugs??? Does a alcoholic know they need alcohol??? YES!!! Supply is like drugs and alcohol for a narcissist.
_____________________________
Narcissistic supply is a fancy term psychologists use to confuse you. For a long time, psychologists have been trying to erase the idea of evil from people's minds.
Narcissists don't just want attention or admiration—they want your life energy. They want to drain you of your vitality.
Positive supply, like praise or compliments, just helps them build their fake persona and feel like their mask is working.
But what they really crave is negative supply. The truth is, narcissists are more like psychopaths who are addicted to causing pain and humiliation.
If all they needed was positive supply, you could make them happy with nice words and actions. But that never works, because narcissists love the power and control that come from abuse.
Real power, to them, is shown by making others suffer. When someone suffers, it proves they have control over them.
As the character in "1984" learns in Room 101, making someone suffer is true domination. Narcissists want to dominate you at any cost. You can't make them happy. The more you suffer, the more it feeds their sense of power.
That's why so many people ask, "How do I get my narcissist back?" You can't. It's no longer fun for them if you want it.
Narcissists know they need your pure, unfiltered suffering. Nothing else will do.
___________________________
Yes, many narcissists are aware, at some level, of their need for narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, and validation that individuals with narcissistic traits seek from others to maintain their self-esteem and self-worth.
While some narcissists may consciously recognize their need for this supply, others might not fully understand the underlying reasons for their behavior. They may crave attention and validation without being aware that these needs stem from deeper insecurities or a fragile self-esteem.
In general, narcissists often engage in behaviors aimed at securing this supply, such as seeking out admiration, dominating conversations, or belittling others to feel superior. Their actions are typically driven by an unconscious need to bolster their self-image and mitigate feelings of inadequacy.
________________________
They know they need attention, they know that they spend every waking hour looking for, manipulating some one for attention, they know they make up lies, portray themselves as things they can never be or do just so someone anyone will tell them how great they are.
Without those words of positive admiration without the positive attention from all of the little people they drop in energy, they become angry completely abusive, they direct all of that negative anger toward usually one particular person, they will push until that person reacts and tells them off, negative supply it's just as tasty to them and in some ways more satisfying, their true nature is negative in some ways it let's them be honest and get what they want.
____________________________
Like a drug addict self medicates with their chosen drug....a narcissist self medicates by using other people….its about keeping their inner scales of emotion regulated and balanced.
They are unable to do this by themselves as they have a underdeveloped ego so they constantly need validation (fuel) from an external source. They define there own well being in context to how much fuel they are receiving. They cannot be alone for too long as the inner scale will tip from a feeling of superiority {the false self} to inner shame and self hatred (the true self).
This can never happen as the pain is to much to bare so they are constantly in pursuit of validation to self regulate that inner pendulum ….to keep the false self propped up…
So to answer your question “do they know”?
I think that the compulsion to require fuel overrides cognitive thinking and they are no longer in control of the desire for fuel..they are just acting on pure need {like the drug addict}…so no..I don't think they “know”.
To quote Sam Vaknin
"A narcissist is an constant state of exhaustion due to there lack of self".
______________________________
I believe they subconsciously know that they can’t do things on their own although they might not admit. They always need people to be around for them to get the attention they crave. They get depressed when they are left alone even for a short while.
When their partner gets busy at work or needs to go away for some reason, the narc will spend their time with the side supplies they’ve organised all along and If they do get caught cheating, they blame it on the partner to have left them alone in the first place.
If they do end up doing anything on their own, say gardening or cooking up a dish or going on a solo trip, they have to post that on social media. How else would the people around them would know that there is this perfect angel from Heaven ?!
I have never known of a narcissist who has done even the simple things in life without the people around them knowing of it.
They need the attention as how the blood cells need oxygen.
They are nothing without it.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-they-need-narcissistic-supply
-
What is a narcissist supply? Stop boosting the narcissist's ego!
What is a narcissist supply? In this video I go over narcissist supply definition and provide narcissist supply examples. Narcissists in relationships can led to emotional abuse and toxic relationships.
Gaslighting, love bombing, and manipulation are present so the narcissist can maintain their narcissist supply. Narcissistic abuse is draining and as a narcissism survivor you may have experienced trauma bonding which makes leaving more difficult. Codependency may be a reason why someone stays with a narcissist and is victim to narcissistic abuse, but that doesn't mean you deserve it! Learn how to not be the narcissist supply any longer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9RydOGhuMc
-
How do you keep calm
when a narcissist is
trying to upset you?
The games my narcissist is playing is really starting to wear me out. How do I stay calm and in control?
The games they play are designed to wear you out and wear you down. They want you to get so tired or upset you enough that you just give up, say the hell with it I’m just going to do it and maybe they’ll shut up. Well, you’ve probably already found out that they won’t the demand will just shift to something else and the pattern will repeat itself. The manipulation worked once it should work again and unfortunately it often does. If you get upset they will use your negative response against you as positive proof you are toooo controlling and crazy because you are preventing them from doing whatever.
Another thing you need to learn is to say NO! Don’t argue about it a simple NO and turn around and walk away. Don’t give them a chance to wear you down, or poke and prod you into losing you composure or temper. That will disappoint them but you’ll feel good about it because you will have take the power and control of the situation away from them. Kind of like taking the x-box away from a kid.
____________________________
If I can't get out for a long walk I go into the garden,I find weeding, planting,just connecting with the earth grounds me, I make a jug of herb tea,lemon balm and chamomile,sometimes I'll play music. I swear my fingers on the strings of the fiddle start smoking when I'm wound that tight I just play faster and faster.
Sometimes I'll listen to music and dance in the kitchen until I find my smile, I sketch in a notepad. I call them my emotions drawings. A Work out helps, running too. If you don't have much room or can't get to a gym it's amazing what you can get out of having a few weights at hand. Exercise is a great way to release anger energy and turn it into something positive.
When I used to have to meet my ex I'd fill up on calming teas and spend at least an hour with my feet up relaxing, listening to music, and plan what I'd do when I got home. Then I'd set up whatever I'd need for it, paints/seeds/instruments. Decide what I'd make the kids for dinner so I didn't have to think outside of my internal processing. This routine meant I didn't react because I wasn't wound up going in and the second I got home I had some creative positive task to lose myself in for a while.
In the end it's about them having zero effect on your emotional stability full stop and you'll get there when you realize it's still giving them what they want, to have an effect on you. Like the kid that does something bad because attention of any kind is better then none. It'll pass, hopefully some of my coping methods will give you ideas.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-keep-calm-when-a-narcissist-is-trying-to-upset-you
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:tello: " So, my Narc is still playing savage head games, manipulating the world for her gain and my misery. Recently I sent her an email with a link to a part I need to repair an electric heater. This was after I asked a Roomie to help finance it and deduct from his rent. He could not afford it. When the Narc found out, she freaked, was upset and a total butthead about it. So savage was her response, I am sworn to secrecy about it, but it was inhumane to say the least.
Then, recently, I get this email from her. Note the lack of empathy, landlord duty or human respect. And how about her crazy DEMANDS? She won't talk to me but she
will with James. I sense this is an act of stalking, but clearly the sign of a coward. Here goes:"
From:
Sherry Kopack
To:
m86thecat@yahoo.com
Fri, Sep 6 at 10:23 AM
Is the thermostat for the buddy heater that I bought for you last year? If it is, why did the thermostat go out after only one winter of use?
Bob Wells has made negative comments about those buddy heaters. I don't remember what propane heater he says is better. But if the cost of the thermostat is under $20., I suppose I can get it.
You need to report to James about all that you do, and the hours you have put in. The hours must add up to 5 hours a week. James will be taking photos of your completed jobs. Please keep a list. James and I are creating a list of everything you need to keep up on. You say you don't know what all you can do when you finish the jobs?
Some of these jobs are an ongoing one. Pine needles are always falling. Please keep them cleaned up. When I come up there once a month, I expect to see that the jobs are done. You must keep up with the snow shoveling as well. I don't want to come up there and walk on top of snow that has not been shoveled. Please keep the pump uncovered from snow as well.
When you can prove to me that the jobs are being done, then I will pay for your propane once a month, on the first.
:tello: "There's not 5 hours of anything to work. Her demands are insane. What's more, is the landlord's duty to provide heat. Look at these details.."
Must a Landlord Provide Heat in California?
California landlords have a legal duty to look after the well being of their tenants by ensuring the rental property is fit for human habitation. Part of this obligation is making sure you are not too cold in winter. Generally, the landlord must supply heating to the main rooms and keep the heating system working.
https://www.weekand.com/home-garden/article/must-landlord-provide-heat-california-18042456.php
_______________________________
Cal. Code Regs. Tit. 25, § 34 - Heating
State Regulations
(a) Every dwelling unit and guest room used or offered for rent or lease shall be provided with heating facilities capable of maintaining a minimum room temperature of 70 degrees F at a point three feet above the floor in all habitable rooms, and when the heating facilities are not under the control of the tenant or occupant of the building owner and/or manager, shall be required to provide that heat at a minimum temperature of 70 degrees F, 24 hours a day. These facilities shall be installed and maintained in a safe condition and in accordance with Chapter 37 of the Uniform Building Code, the Uniform Mechanical Code, and other applicable laws. No unvented fuel burning heaters shall be permitted. All heating devices or appliances shall be of the approved type.
https://www.law.cornell.edu/regulations/california/25-CCR-34
_____________________________
:tello: "And to top that off, beside being forced to either freeze or hustle, there is the mental torture element":
Emotional Abuse Is Now Considered Domestic Violence in Some States. Where Does California Stand?
What Is Emotional Abuse?
Emotional abuse can take many different forms, but generally, it is defined as any behavior that is designed to control, intimidate, or isolate another person. This might include threats, name-calling, put-downs, constant criticism, withholding affection or love as punishment, isolating a person from their friends and family, monitoring their movements and communications, or even controlling them financially.
In some cases, emotional abuse can also escalate to physical violence. For example, a partner who is constantly yelling at their partner or trying to control their every move might eventually resort to hitting them or keeping them from leaving the house.
https://www.losangelescriminaldefenseattorneyblog.com/emotional-abuse-is-now-considered-domestic-violence-in-some-states-where-does-california-stand/
__________________________
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is often described as an “invisible” form of domestic violence since the abuse and trauma are not immediately apparent. It occurs when someone, for example, is forced to isolate from friends and loved ones or when they are prohibited from accessing their own bank account or other economic resources. In effect, the abuser is making the victim cut all ties to the outside world so the abuser can exert a significant level of control over the victim’s life and daily activities.
https://castrolawoffices.com/blog/california-law-coercive-control-form-domestic-violence/#:~:text=Statutory%20Definition%20of%20Coercive%20Control,include%20examples%20of%20coercive%20control.
:tello: "If it comes down to a battle, I will ask the tenants to deduct from their rent, give it to me so I can provide the necessary heating I will need to survive this winter.
I have reported on these Blogs before...the absolute refusals of Social Services to help me.
I suspect that has something to do with me being a "Targeted Individual". See here:"
17 Signs that You are a Targeted Individual
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=8316.msg730996#msg730996
"Sh!t can get much worse if nobody will help me. My upcoming YouTube show promises to be very revealing, behind the scenes of Gov. tomfoolery and The Sherry Tapes!"
-
Narcissists Twist Things: Ignorance or Strategy?
In this episode, The Little Shaman discusses communication with pathologically narcissistic personalities.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESbPRD8Bx8E
-
How can one identify if someone has narcissism without getting too close to them?
Check for humbleness. A humble person will never have a superiority complex.
Does this person make you feel as though you rock his/her world? Put up your antenna.
Narcissists tend to give you this feeling early on in this relationship.
Are you convinced this is your soul mate early in the relationship? I bet he'll will beat you up black and blue. I know. I have been there.
Test for self control. Is this person speaking with f*** this and f*** that, avoid this personality.
Behavior under stress like traffic or something else. Catch them unawares please.
How they behave with people who do not count on any agenda? Waitresses/park attendants, etc.
Love bombing is intense. Do you get the feeling that you are being bombarded by messages and calls? Run for your life please!
Test for empathy but catch them unawares.
Release information to boyfriends/girlfriends in trickles. A narcissist would want to know you intimately to be able to mirror you. Leave your persona a mystery. Avoid personal questions please in the first six months.
Avoid intimacy. People won’t have STDs written on their foreheads. And narcissists are cheaters. And if you are intimate early on, that may hurt you more once you discover this was a narcissist.
Check out for lies. If you have to, write down a summary of what he/she has told you on each date and compare or else keep yourself alert for new information.
Check out identity. What is their social media like? What is the impression you get?
Please do not dismiss red flags. In the beginning it is easy to block but the deeper you go, the more difficult to let go.
Research the tool box of narcissists. Make sure you know it well as some of these are real cunning and intelligent.
Never be over confident that you can smell them. That may be your biggest trap.
Let trust develop gradually. Never, ever trust anyone unless this person proved himself/herself.
Is this person obsessed with image? That is a huge red flag!
Check out relationships with family. Is this a family of narcissists?
Too good to be true. If you ever get this feeling, please be on full alert as most probably you are dealing with a Hollywood style actor/actress.
___________________________
How can I identify a narcissist?
They take up way to much space in your life and in your mind. If you in general feel exhausted after a relatively short amount of time with the narc, it's a good sign, it's a narcissist. You feel things moving to fast forward and you are not given time to reflect.
They don't really care about you. Words and action is far apart. If you feel that they don't have any real care for you as a person, you feel uncomfortable in their presents, after a while. You feel that you sooner or later will end up under the bus. (Their stuff, interests, and opinions, needs priority over yours).
They compete with you and they need to win. When you have a feeling it will get you in trouble if you stand your ground and ask for respect of your boundaries, it will be perceived as a personal attack against the narc. (What's her problem? Just forget about that paranoid hag).
When they feel injured, they will quickly project their weaknesses onto a discarded person. When they talk about past relationships as if they're ex was jealous, crazy, psychopath or a losing idiot, it could be a sign. “(I was in a relationship with this crazy, delusional mental case. I had to leave, because I can't be controlled 24/7)”. They project their short comings onto other people in their lives.
It's about me! me! me! When all conversations end with them talking about themselves or superior skills or dramatic events, it is a strong sign. They are truly bored when other people speak. (I was at the hospital too last year. At the hospital they told me I had been dead for 25 minutes when they brought me back to life. They had never had a more difficult open appendix operation before).
They don't listen to you or to anyone really. They're memory about what you have told them about yourself is weak. (Why have I not heard about this)?
____________________________
Narcissistic people are never wrong. They are by definition codependent, yet are not willingly forthcoming with such awareness. They continually contradict themselves and, when attacking you for trying to help them, they describe themselves. You can not win a rational discourse with a narcissist. They will turn your concern against you while embellishing reality to make themselves appear to embody the exact altruism you practice.
You will know when somebody is narcissistic when you feel horribly cheapened by trying to be their friend.
If they ever shut up, it is not to listen to your offering to the conversation, rather, it's a necessary breath they must take in order to gain enough oxygen into their head to expound more of their unfiltered, self-centered thoughts.
You will know someone is a narcissist if, when they breach an agreement, they threaten you or somehow insult you in the face of overwhelming evidence of guilt.
Avoid. If you can. Just don't turn on the news. One of these narcissists is gonna nuke the planet.
__________________________
I look for a cool, collected demeanor, with an aura of superiority suggesting the person believes someone died and left them a hereditary title. Even in the covert types, the right to be treated very well in all circumstances, beyond what anyone deserves, is quietly or vocally asserted - they start the game on your 20 yard line. They’d scoff at any similar demands from someone else, of course.
For this part of what I’m describing, think Lucy Van Pelt from ‘Peanuts’; Lucy fits the facade most narcissists quietly or brashly project, and she keeps the other characters off-balance in the same manner that narcissists do. Lucy assumes her privileges over others as if it’s the most natural thing in the world - a state of things which no sane person could ever question. If Lucy were a coward, she’d be a perfect cartoon equivalent of a narcissist.
Next, lack of empathy: Narcissists don’t just tune out when others succeed or suffer; they become hostile and have trouble saying the appropriate things at others’ graduations, hospital beds or funerals. They’re faking sympathy, and will tend to sound wooden and insincere in situations in which it’s required to express it. They are only comfortable with misery in others when they themselves are causing it, because in that situation it is about them, not the victim.
They all seem to have a victim act, but it’s not always obvious from the start: their misfortunes are everyone else’s fault, they give tirelessly and are exploited by no-good people everywhere, et cetera. Human relations for them are competitive, with a winner and a loser, and they will describe the world as a place of zero-sum interaction, where someone comes out ahead and someone else loses in the course of every human relationship: They won’t state as much, but their worldview will come out if you piece it together from their words.
They need to feel in control in social interactions. Waitstaff and other hospitality workers are a safe space for narcissists, because they can schmooze with people who are paid to listen. As for real-life, unpaid interactions, any significant other or friend will exhibit docile compliance or extreme patience - those who won't are tossed without delay.
Finally, take stock of how much they actually tell you about themselves. Spend enough time with one, and you’ll learn about your flaws - including some you didn’t know you had, because you don’t, since it’s just the narcissist projecting. But what you won’t learn about directly are the narcissist’s qualities.
Other than one unguarded moment early in your acquaintance - the human impulse to level with others is too powerful for even narcissists to resist - they’ll keep themselves locked away. You will find yourself inferring their qualities from indirect evidence rather than any sharing on their part.
If you find yourself thinking this person never relaxes in company, and seems cold and lifeless when not just flat-out awkward, you should step back and consider if that’s what they’re really like, and you’ve been faked out by their demeanor and skillful image management one-on-one.
Look for low ability to level or communicate about their feelings. There will be no apologies; at best they make amends through gestures like an impromptu dinner at which nothing will be discussed.
With each narcissist I’ve known, my final conclusion - beyond their nightmarish, unfeeling reality - is that this person is boring: Just a locked beige door with a security camera over it. They’re locked down so tight that not much of anything has happened inside their minds to make them interesting.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-one-identify-if-someone-has-narcissism-without-getting-too-close-to-them
-
Ron Culley
From:Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
To: margaret@rimfamilyservices.org
Fri, Sep 13 at 10:53 AM
Hello again; I trust you remember me.
When I had first contacted you earlier this year, you gave me referrals.
They referred me to others.
And the chase was on to secure the basic help I needed.
I had reached out to Adult Protective Services and Inland Fair Housing Mediation Board.
EVERYBODY HAS REFUSED TO DEAL WITH ME.
I believe "somebody GOT to them".
All I want and need is a qualified professional to inform my ex-girl and present landlord to stop the hostilities, do the right thing and stop being a bully/criminal/narcissist.
She has denied me heating fuel last winter, and now she is playing a cruel game of "Do for me and I will do for you".
Here's the story:
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=8312.msg731234#msg731234
I sincerely expect a reasonable reply from your office soon.
Give me a Mediator before very bad things may occur.
Thank you.
-Ron Tello Culley
____________________________________
From:Margaret Tiefenthaler
margaret@rimfamilyservices.org
To:
Ron Tello
Fri, Sep 13 at 11:47 AM
Good morning, Mr. Culley:
Are you currently paying rent? if not, then the requests that the owner of the house is making are not only not unreasonable but she is going above and beyond by not filing for eviction against you. Secondly, even if you are paying rent, maintaining the property that you are renting is a standard expectation.
God bless and best regards,
Margaret Tiefenthaler, Peer and Family Advocate
Rim Family Services
40880 Pedder Road / PO Box 4095
Big Bear Lake, CA 92315
909-255-1492
margaret@rimfamilyservices.org
__________________________________
From:Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
To:
Margaret Tiefenthaler
Fri, Sep 13 at 1:05 PM
Thank you for your fast reply.
I see that you do not understand the intricacies of this situation.
I was invited, brought and delivered into this house 9 years ago under the pretense that Sherry and I would resume our Domestic Partnership. Co-habitation.
In all reality, I was used as "Narcissistic Supply" Look it up. My Narc Blog is loaded with the details.
I was brought here, used and abused and then ABANDONED.
There's laws about that, too.
I was never obligated to "pay rent" I did, and do chores.
I maintain the building and grounds, handle trash and recycling.
That's all. Her recent demands are mindless;
a ploy to further manipulate me, regardless of her legal duty to provide heat.
I still do regular chores, I am entitled to heat without discourse or animosity. There is not
5 hours of work per week to be done. Therefore this demand is insane and impossible to fulfill.
Her efforts to evict me have been based on emotional dysphoria, and were improper...no Proof of Service and not filed with the Court.
This is an abuse of authority and of the Legal System. I have received at least 10 30-day notices over the past 9 years without follow-thru. She has no valid Legal Grounds to act against me. And the "Living Space" in question may be in and of itself Illegal.
She put me here, and now claims that I am trespassing, squatting and that my opinion does not matter. I have her on a phone recording claiming that she hates me. Is this the behavior of a rational, responsible landlord/human being? (Bad phone calls are also a crime.)
The damages are in her head.
This is called "Narcissistic Injury", whereas, the Supply was not good enough to satisfy the Narc's endless need for attention and admiration. They "Discard" people who no longer serve their nefarious, self-centered purposes.
Narcs get bored and cheat and gaslight and lie. And they do not care about Law or human dignity and respect.
You have offered me no solution. Siding with the enemy is not a good look.
Until you, et al fully understand Narcissism, there is no point in continuing our chat.
I shall persevere further with my own devices.
-RTC
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Do narcissists snap at little things, yell/scream at you and then take off without wanting to talk about it in person to solve the issue?
https://www.quora.com/unanswered/Do-narcissists-snap-at-little-things-yell-scream-at-you-and-then-take-off-without-wanting-to-talk-about-it-in-person-to-solve-the-issue
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Stay away from people that can't see any wrong in their actions, but see every wrong in yours.
This is a valuable life lesson that can help you maintain your mental well-being and avoid toxic relationships. Surrounding yourself with people who are self-aware, open to feedback, and willing to grow can lead to healthier and more positive connections.
These individuals may try to shift the blame, gaslight, or manipulate others to avoid taking responsibility for their own mistakes. Being around them can lead to feelings of frustration, anxiety, and low self-esteem. It's essential to recognize the signs of toxic behavior and prioritize your own emotional safety.
Instead, seek out people who are accountable for their actions, empathetic, and supportive. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. By surrounding yourself with positive influences, you can cultivate a supportive network that lifts you up and helps you grow as a person.
Remember, you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, and it's okay to set boundaries or distance yourself from those who don't meet you with the same kindness and understanding.
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Why do narcissists discard you and leave you with no answers?
To make you chase and prevent you from healing, letting go and walking away
I‘ll explain.
Because many narcissists are very predictable and not as intelligent as they think they are, it’s fairly easy to see and understand why they discard their partners, loved ones and friends with no answers and no closure or clarity.
They do it because they believe and expect it will make you chase them.
Because when you don’t know:
what went wrong
why they suddenly withdraw
why they ghost you
why they give you the silent treatment
why they switch from being loving and kind to spiteful and hostile within a day
They know that it will cause you to doubt yourself, to try and please them, to obsess over them, to go crazy over this situation and to chase them.
And you’re not the only person affected by this behavior.
Chances are very high that they have done this with many people before you, do it with the people they’re dating now and keep doing this with the people in the distant future.
It‘s how they keep their supplies for admiration, respect, love, validation and attention.
They get off on this.
And this is why walking away, refusing to play their stupid game and never chasing a narcissist is one of the most powerful things you can do.
_____________________________
Narcissists leave you when they no longer envy you. By that stage nobody does.
Narcissists are biologically unable to love — a lifetime of habit has rendered this impossible.
Narcissists envy.
What they envy, they seek to possess, and if they cannot possess it, they will destroy it. Sensing your weakness — fake and phony OTT, melodramatic affection, the narcissist moves in to acquire you. Once you have been acquired, you will be rendered down, and the things the narcissist envies will be acquired or destroyed, until nothing of you remains.
However they must still feed, so it's on to the next.
__________________________
Because they want you to stay out of their life. Why? So they can keep living their lie without being exposed to others. You will be so convincingly attacked in his other groups you couldn’t keep up with the accusations.
A narcissist can tell a lie more effectively that you can tell the truth, so they are counting on you to give up trying to defend yourself, and just go away. .why? So they can keep living their lie without being exposed to others.
___________________________
It’s all about Control.
It’s yet another immature power play that is very similar In action to the silent treatment which is meant to punish you.
When you are discarded like this, for many it will be like starting at the end of the riddle and working backward to figure out all the WHYs. It’s normal to not understand these behaviors associated with narcissism.
It’s kind of like finding a dead body left with no clues. You would be questioning everything in your search to find the cause or murderer.
Sadly, through much pain and doubt, you’ll come to see that the clues were always there but you didn’t know it at the time because you were unaware and playing perfectly in their little game, and then suddenly you weren’t…..
Now the game is over and you are left with no answers and can’t make sense of this disordered game you were in.
They play to win and they did win in their eyes and now they can go play that game with someone else.
When you were adoring and happily sacrificing your needs to please them you were good but anything less they cannot handle and see as criticism and will mirror it back to you x100.
They do not have normal defense mechanisms and see every little thing as criticism and an attack. They need to be right and think know best.
They cannot tolerate feeling controlled.
The all-good or all-bad thinking makes you the enemy when they feel attacked so they will hurt you and will have zero empathy aka they don’t give two f*cks about your feelings. So if you feel destroyed too bad -See Ya
This is like North Korea … there is no negotiating unless you agree to their terms. Hey but watch as another missile just went off.
Isn’t this how things have always been resolved? You just put up with sh!t it got dismissed and swept under the table. Your feelings were hurt and you resented it. There was never any compromise or mutual problem-solving where you both worked on things. You were always letting them get away with things and they were never really sorry before.
They don’t waste time sticking around to clean up their mess when they can just blame you. The silence and discarding absolve them of any wrongdoing. You can run after them and beg them to forgive you now but you will never have any closure.
You are left to take the pain and blame and doubt your existence. Just a parting gift they left for you.
They're not suddenly going to be self-aware and take responsibility by admitting any fault if they have NPD. That would mean you were right the whole time and then they would have to go back who knows how many years and take the blame!!! OMG … imagine having to give up all of that power and control.
NEVER. They have to protect themselves.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-discard-you-and-leave-you-with-no-answers
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Page 26
Do narcissists want
people to leave them?
The narcissist wishes to have you, but to destroy you also. Unable to achieve this, the narcissist strikes a compromise — they will have a string of people just like you who they can destroy and replace.
When you are washed out, used up, broke down, you're no more use to the narcissist. You're supposed to make them look good, but currently you're infecting everyone with misery and really ruining the vibe.
Do the right thing and show yourself out.
_______________________________
Narcissists typically do not want people to leave them, as they often rely on others for validation, admiration, and a sense of self-worth. However, their behavior can drive people away due to traits such as lack of empathy, manipulation, and self-centeredness.
While they may push people away through their actions, they often fear abandonment and may react negatively when they sense someone is distancing themselves. In essence, narcissists desire relationships that bolster their self-esteem, but their behavior can paradoxically lead to isolation.
______________________________
I think yes and no. They want you to leave them, or rather leave them alone to do what they want. However, they also want you to leave behind or make available all the benefits of you: a home, care, financial support, social status, and anything else special to you but they are not willing to earn or achieve. What you have is more important than who you are to them. They will also hang on and make you miserable while they spend your money.
____________________________
Yes and no.
Yes if they have another supply they want to put in place of the present one and they know they can't keep two supplies under one roof and get away with it.
No because they may not have finished vacuuming yet and want to get their life's worth out of the supply.
To be honest I wouldn't be waiting around to find out if the narcissist wants me to leave - I would just go.
That did happen a few weeks ago when the narc was being strangely emotionally offhand (a few prior red flags had flown). I packed a bag and left.
That may not work for everyone but, after a lifetime of dealing with narcs, I had no energy to play games!
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-want-people-to-leave-them
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Why does a narcissist get bored so easily of everything?
Narcissists can't enjoy fun activities for a long time. They can only pretend to be fun and interesting. Their idea of fun is often going to a movie or doing something that distracts you from their boring personalities.
They know that if you spend time alone with them, you'll quickly realize how dull and uninteresting they truly are. There won't be much to talk about, and you'll realize you have nothing in common with them. They don't have any passions, interests, or goals. There's nothing that excites them or drives them.
They lack heart and soul. The reason they targeted you is because they lack all of that themselves. They targeted you in the hope that you could provide those missing pieces for them.
They thought you would give them something to live for. They saw your energy, spark, and excitement, and they wanted to be a part of it. They wanted to have some of that in their own lives.
However, when you get involved with a narcissist, even though it may seem great at first, you soon realize that nothing can make them happy. They can't have a good time. They always find something wrong or not good enough.
____________________________
Yes. You can accept that the reason they are bored is because they cannot be satisfied. So, they are constantly, CONSTANTLY looking for someone new. You can’t be that person for them.
They have already gotten to know you. You are old now to them. They don’t have a comfort zone, because being in a comfort zone causes for them to lose control of the fake personality they created for you to trap you. So, when they figure you out, and become comfortable with you, their OWN ugly personality begins to surface.
So, they MUST abandon the game they were playing with you and find another victim quickly to pick up their personality and begin the game with them. They may come back to you after they do the same use, abuse, toss out routine with that other person.
If they stay gone long enough, your personality will seem new to them, again. However, they will just get bored with you and your things again after a while, and start the process from the beginning once more.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-get-bored-so-easily-of-everything
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Are narcissists demonic?
Narcissists are Demons from Hell.
Everyone that is or was with a narcissist knows how evil and insidious those people are. They don't care about love, loyalty, or honesty. All they care about is one thing they need to survive: Narcissistic Supply.
They suck the life out of people until they have nothing left—no life, energy, or money. Narcissists feed on the energy of others because they are sadistic emotional predators. They enjoy your pain, suffering, hopelessness, and attention, whether it is positive or negative.
All the abuse, lies, manipulation, deception, and confusion are fuel for them. This is all they have to offer. Those demons can only function when they have someone to abuse because they can't be alone, and their fragile ego must be fed constantly by destroying others. The more you suffer, the bigger their ego.
This is normal and easy for them because they have no soul, no empathy, no remorse, or understanding for others. Narcissists are selfish machines. No matter how much you love them, care for them, and support them, no amount of love and effort can change them because they want to live this way.
They've made a decision early in their life when they sold their soul to the devil, when they chose to give up on themselves and create this false self, a false persona which they think is real. In their confused and delusional mind, they think that they are kings and queens in a world that exists only in their damaged minds.
Damaged people are dangerous because they know how to make Hell feel like home. In their sick and twisted mind, you belong to them like a possession, like an object that has its purpose to serve them, to submit to them, and to worship them. They are slaves of their own ego, insanity, and toxicity.
When you first met them, you were impressed by their fake charm and were manipulated from the very beginning to like them, to submit to them, and to trust them. Those demons can have many forms, and one of their favorite tricks is to play the role of an angel to get you in their toxic trap and make you a victim of their abusive cycle, to make your worst nightmares come true.
The dream of true love and finally finding your soulmate turned into a never-ending nightmare.
_____________________________
The answer you get regarding this question is going to depend on the belief system of the person answering it. I believe in heaven and hell which means I also believe in God and Satan. To me, angels and demons are REAL.
I fought the spiritual battle against my ex, narcissistic husband’s demons. I prayed hard when I finally realized that I was facing abuse at his hands. I was blind to it and then, God opened my eyes. I saw the spiritual battle around me. One particular day, God told me to pray.
So, I did. I prayed earnestly, walking through every area of my home, a prayer of expectant faith, that God would remove the demons from my life. While praying, I heard and felt God’s voice tell me “Get ready for Me to move!” It was powerful. That very night, my ex decided to move out!!
I fully believe his demons hated my praying spirit. I visually saw his demons but did not connect the dots until he moved out. I wasn’t afraid of them because we had been married for 27 years, and they had become familiar spirits to me; just as you get used to a negative crowd when hanging out with the wrong people. When he moved out, they left with him. I no longer see them.
Yes, these demons control their minds. Yes, it’s a mental condition because the demons play with their minds. Call me crazy, too, if you like. But, I know what I’ve witnessed and experienced. I know God heard my cries, spoke to me, and did exactly what He said he would do.
There are many biblical stories documenting narcissistic behavior. One is if Elijah, Ahab, and Jezebel. The narcissistic spirit is called the Spirit of Jezebel. It is mentioned in Revelations. It is real and it is one of the most powerful demonic spirits.
If you are questioning whether it’s a demon, you likely already know.
____________________________
110% yes.
Let me ask you 3 questions and please reflect on this:
How come part of the human beings on planet Earth are super manipulative and yet the greater majority have zero knowledge of how to manipulate.
To successfully manipulate others, you must know a ton of tools really well. How to gaslight, how to guilt trip, how to mirror others and so many more.
I dated the narcissist pre internet age. Narcissism was not even a word I had ever encountered my whole life. Yet all narcissists around the world have an innate kind of evil cunningness that is beyond human intelligence.
From the bible, you can discern the characteristics etc. of the demonic. They hate human beings. They pose as the angel of light (love bombing behavior in narcissists), gaslighting - the serpent gaslighted Eve in the garden of Eden. Guilt tripping - Jude Iscariot guilt tripped the lady that washed the feet of Jesus with perfume.
Best is the following verse from the gospel of John:
1 John 3:10
This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Are-narcissists-demonic
____________________________
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Why do narcissists
future fake?
What do they get out of doing
that to people?
Before we start talking about why some Narcissists “future fake,” let’s talk a bit about the concept of future faking and the role it plays in new relationships when one member of the couple has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I will start with defining the term.
What is future faking?
Future Faking is a courtship strategy in which someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder acts as if you are the one they have been waiting for all their life. They start making plans for the two of you and they tell you about all the wonderful places that they want to take you in the future.
What does future faking look like?
Imagine you meet this appealing person on a first date. By your second date, they seem to have already decided the two of you are the perfect couple. They praise everything about you. They start talking about a future with you.
You may be a bit hesitant. After all, you barely know this person. You are thinking: “Isn’t this too soon to make this type of commitment?” But, on the other hand, it is nice to finally be in the company of someone who seems to really like you.
The possibility that this person really means everything they are saying leads you to start imagining a possible future with them. A future with no more bad dates and no more wondering whether your date really likes you as much as you like them. So, you decide to go with the flow and see what happens next. You do not want to risk missing out on something wonderful by being too skeptical. You like this person.
Now this person whom you hardly know starts describing the great times the two of you will have when they take you away this summer to their favorite resort. They start to describe in vivid detail all the amazing things the two of you will do together—the great restaurants you will eat in, the romantic walks along the beach, and even relatives and close friends that they want you to meet.
You get caught up in it and invite them to be your plus one at a family wedding in two months time and they immediately agree. You breathe a sigh of relief and think: “They must be serious. Why would they agree to go to a family wedding, if they weren’t in love with me?”
Here is an example of how future faking might sound:
You have never been to Paris in the Fall? I can’t wait to show you around. I know Paris like the back of my hand. It is the most romantic of cities! I have an idea. Let’s make the trip longer and end up in Rome. There is nothing more beautiful and atmospheric than the Tivoli Fountain lit up at night.
Is future faking always just lies?
No. Many people get over enthusiastic in the early stages of infatuation—including many people with NPD. They are too quick to assume that they have found their ideal mate and now the two of you will live happily ever after. In this case, they are not pretending. They are happily playing out aloud their favorite inner fantasy that they have now projected onto you and the new relationship with you.
How common is narcissistic future faking?
Not all people with NPD start planning an entire life together after a first date, but It is very common. How common? Well, I hear about it frequently from my clients who are dating, especially those clients who are meeting people through dating apps. It is common enough for it to appear in a question on Quora and for lots of non-narcissistic people to be wondering about how wary they need to be when their new lover starts to plan a future together.
What is wrong with future faking?
Even if the person with NPD is not consciously trying to fool their new lover, most of the time this type of premature planning ends in disappointment. The Narcissist jumps into the deep end too fast. People with NPD are often quite impulsive and uncritically go with their current emotion without thinking it through.
In addition, because Narcissists lack emotional empathy, they are not worrying about the possibility of raising unrealistic expectations and then disappointing the other person. The reality is that more often than not, the narcissistic lover will get bored or start to find fault with this person and that will be the end of the relationship. The Narcissist will forget or renege on every promise they made—including being your date for your cousin’s wedding.
Why do Narcissists do future faking?
The line between sincerity and insincerity is nearly invisible for people with NPD. In the moment, they might actually feel sincere. But, they are not factoring in that they should wait before sharing their fantasies about a possible rosy future with you.
They feel free to change their mind at any moment. When their infatuation wears off and they lose interest in fulfilling the future plans, they can easily rationalize the change in their thinking. Here are some of the things Narcissists tell me about these situations:
I meant it when I said it. It just didn’t work out between us. Why blame me?
They are not who I thought they were. They fooled me. I don’t owe them anything.
They should have realized that I was just trying to be entertaining.
It was fun while it lasted.
What about insincere future faking?
Sometimes Narcissists use future faking as a seduction technique. This is particularly cruel because they know that the glowing picture that they are painting is totally fake. They are using it as a cold blooded strategy to get sex and attention from someone new.
Also, many people with NPD are poor conversationalists. They tend to develop a set of stories or strategies that they believe show them in a good light and use the same ones with almost everyone. Elaborate future faking can be a substitute for real conversation and a way to avoid actually showing real interest in the other person.
Punchline: Narcissists use future faking to enjoy themselves, entertain someone they are interested in for the moment, and as a way to get sex and validation.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-future-fake-What-do-they-get-out-of-doing-that-to-people
What future faking IS
vs what it is NOT
@NarcSurvivor
2 years ago
Future faking is when they promise something about your future without taking the steps to make it a reality. Most narcissists will do this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BV7hz7o7gIw
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When a Narcissist Can't Control You,
They Try These 3 Tricks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CvMXOkuri0
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Its a waste of time, energy and breath to try to talk and make them listen.
What a Narcissist HEARS when you Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga9WvfmC0DY
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An Important Message From Ron Tello
It's about CONTENT. What's in here, over there and in my mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCYJvMYy-_Y&t=2743s
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Which ones are the most common behaviors among narcissists?
In my experience the typical behaviors in narcissists are as follows:
They always wear a mask so others won’t see their true selves.
They only care about themselves.
They try to control their SO by gaslighting and other ways to make their SO feel crazy.
They smear their SOs name.
The narc will try to isolate their SO from family and friends.
They talk trash about their SOs friends and don’t like their SO to have any friends.
Narcs get jealous when others make you happy.
Narcs criticize others physical appearance.
Narcs use the silent treatment to punish you for whatever they believe that you did to them.
They judge others very harshly.
Narcs enjoy chaos.
Narcs lie and make up stories to gaslight you, so then you question your own reality.
They are all verbally abusive to their SO to control the SO.
They are all victims.
The narc will viciously gossip about about anyone that crosses them…even if it’s their fault.
Narcs will leave and stay gone for hours, days, and come back when they feel like they have punished you enough.
Narcs hate being wrong.
These are some of the characteristics that I personally witnessed.
____________________________
A Narcissist’s pattern of behaviour is this
**Love bombing**
When you first meet they create the illusion of ‘love at first sight’.
They are your soul mate. You are the one they have always been looking for.
They ‘future fake’ make future plans for the two of you.
The relationship advances at warp speed. Sex, compliments, gifts.
They take up all your time both in reality and in your mind space.
You can’t stop thinking about them.
They contact you several times a day.
You have less time for friends and family because you are so focused on them.
Non stop attention. Who, on this planet doesn’t want that?
It seems to good to be true. It is.
You have just been ensnared in the narcissist’s trap.
**Devaluation**
The relationship is losing it’s heat.
Cracks are starting to show.
You are a little confused.
You don’t understand why they contact you less.
Sometimes, they are busy.
The sex is infrequent.
You are starting to be criticised.
You can’t explain where it’s all going wrong.
The initial love bombing is the best memory you have and it convinces you can get it back.
You can’t.
It was just the hook.
Now you are on the line.
**Discard**
The roller coaster ride is over. Or is it.
You feel discarded by the narcissist.
Shut off, dumped.
You are not.
You have been placed on the shelf in the mind of the narcissist.
And if in the future the narcissist decides they want you back.
Not because they love you and want you back. No, it’s because you can supply something they need they in the moment.
They will hoover you, use you up and put you back on the shelf.
This can happen many times.
When? Days or weeks or months or years later.
For how long? A lifetime if you don’t put a stop to it.
This may include the beginning of smearing.
**Hoovering**
This is the name given to the action of sucking you back into their supply chain.
It is done by saying....
Sorry.
I made a mistake.
I miss you.
Remember how good we were together.
Let’s get back to that.
Everything you want to hear is being said.
They may send in ‘flying monkeys’. Friends manipulated to find out if it’s a good time to hoover or not.
Or even ask you to call the narcissist.
So it works. You are on the roller coaster again.
Once you understand fully the narcissists dynamic you will be able to free yourself and recover fully.
**Be assured you will be able to free yourself and recover fully.**
It is a process, be patient.
This is what the narcissist wants from you. Some or all of these.
Narcissists need four things to supply themselves to feel good.
Most of these things only last a short time and must be constantly acquired from a number of sources. i.e. not just you.
1. Control
Control of other people and situations.
No control allows the empty feeling to rise up and increase in strength.
It can produces cold or heated fury which will erupt.
The ‘empty feeling’ means they feels as if they don’t exist or aren’t valued.
2. Fuel
Admiration from others.
In the form....
Compliments.
Getting the best seats.
Gifts.
Being constantly propped up emotionally.
The list is endless.
3. Character Traits
They attach themselves to others in reality and sometimes by saying they know these people, who have had success in their lives or is high profile in some way.
Such as....
Medal winners - Olympians - Tennis champions.
Actors -‘A’ listers.
Politicians.
A titled person - A Prince.
Someone with money.
Someone much younger.
The purpose of this is that the narcissist can say my partner is an Olympian.
I used to go out with an actress.
I know a famous architect.
My friend is a billionaire.
If these things are not true, it doesn’t matter to the narcissist.
As long as the listener is impressed. Narcissists live in the moment.
4. Residual benefits
Basic and extended needs provided by the victim.
Examples include but are not limited to....
Sex.
Accommodation, often free of charge, for many years.
Transport.
Money.
Clothes.
Food.
Internet.
Gifts - computer, new car.
Connections to others.
Employment.
Also read the posts....
‘The Supply Matrix of the Narcissist’
And
‘If you know then go go go’.
Best wishes for your recovery and beyond.
https://www.quora.com/Which-ones-are-the-most-common-behaviors-among-narcissists
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“They see themselves as the trash they treat you as".
5 Things a Narcissist is Doomed to Fail At
@simonpegg1196
10 months ago
Accountability: Zero
Trustworthiness: Zero
Empathy: Zero.
Love: Minus.
Authenticity: Zero
Wickedness: Infinite
In short, not worthy of being called a human being. This is a narc in a nutshell.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTtXvnWh9Ws
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You never get financial, social, emotional, physical support from them. Whether you gave your whole life fully to them. They are rotten monsters.
3 Crimes a Narcissist Commits out of their Jealousy for You
@jenniferpierce8860
1 year ago
Slowly poisoned, yes that's what it's like to be around narcissists.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tl0EFGtOw8
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:tello: "I'm seriously..."
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Their "masks are very slick and deceptive." Their "voice" inflection is also deceptive and scarily manipulative. What a way to be and live, shallow, hollow, empty.
5 Dark Secrets a Narcissist Doesn't Want You to Know
@carparthero
1 month ago
5 Forbidden Secrets a Narcissist Doesn't Want You Know
1- I must mirror your morality to avoid exposure.
2- I am terrified of death and disease.
3- I am emotionally dead inside. i only feel fear, shame and that becomes anger.
4- I am addicted to manipulating others and get a high from your pain.
5- I have superstitious beliefs that i feel will help me control other people.
One underlying emotion all covert/overt narcissists have is ENVY. They can't stand anyone who's better than them in any way. They hate even more when people are able to do better without the narcissist.
https://www.youtube.com/live/LOJzBh3vsSw
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.
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All narcissists hurt others through passive aggressive tactics.
5 Secret Things That Make a Narcissist Collapse Everyday
@elizabethbettencourt1116
1 month ago
1. When things don't go their way.
2. When expected to give unconditionally .
3. When they see someone more accomplished than them.
4. When you ask them to take action about their problems.
5. When you get help from others.
These...wow! All truth
https://www.youtube.com/live/wOBkthLMAHY
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They are silently greedy. Not your money. Your soul.
WHY IT WOULD NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR THE NARCISSIST
@user-ro3rv4nw2n
23 hours ago
People who have no empathy are also selfish. I read that a lack of empathy breaks into callousness and sadism. Selfishness breaks into vindictiveness, entitlement, and deceitfulness.
In plainer terms, their personality is being cold, cruel, vindictive, entitled, and lying. This collection of traits characterizes people who are willing to use people as disposable objects that exist solely for their needs and can justify this disposability of people they encounter by writing them off as less than them and treating them with contemptuous dismissiveness.
So basically treat other human beings as trash. They use them up and then throw them out. When you see someone having a lack of empathy watch out. You can get badly hurt by them. They are very dangerous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvnOZAhelTk
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Because demons don't like light.
6 Realest Reasons Why Narcissists Hate You
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Narcs are at war with themselves. We are the casualties.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BuRDB6kI-Y
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Don’t play their games… You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.
How to Talk to a Narcissist
"Look within and understand you don't need an apology to validate your own feelings."
Practical tools when dealing with a narcissist, there's a place in your mind you have to go to to deal with a narcissist. Don't play the game. Any time you are talking to a narc you are walking into their trap. Unless they get praise they will provoke because they delight in your frustration.
This is not something you can win. They feed off of that control. They want the spotlight entirely on them. It is a game. Best thing you can do:
Recognise you are in a game.
1. Choose to take your pieces off the board.
2. Best move you can make is no move at all. Say nothing, It cant be misquoted. Choose silence. Your silence can't be twisted. Stay neutral in the convo. Avoid saying things that are hurtful, ugly, rude or disrespectful to put them down. - say "ok" "noted." "thank you for saying that". "I understand".
3. Go to a place in your mind. Don't try and convince. They cant understand. Stop trying. Empty hole. Get to a place where you think to yourself - switch- it's time I think about myself and my peace of mind and where I draw my strength from. Narcs only take. You're not going to get an apology. Instead think you don't need an apology. Put down the shovel and keep on walking.
--- Jefferson Fisher
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T80inmY_OWw
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True intelligence is the ability to apply gained knowledge that has been researched as fact, and the ability to adapt to any changes of those facts, including the ability to admit you were incorrect.
3 Stupid Habits Narcissists Believe
Make Them Look Smart
@SylviaAmpah
1 month ago (edited)
1. Typical copycats. Will even copy the way u talk to people.
2. Will make silly interruptions during conversations, usually total change of subject.
3. Love for grandiose stories; example "I was smarter than all my colleagues in my class etc.
4. Making fun of others flaws & performance.
5. Will talk trash to demean others and end up wearing a demonic smile and you're expected to smile back and maintain eye contact.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYYP1PlWuDc
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They don't want a partner. They want you to
WORSHIP THEM.
They actually have NO CONTROL. Only false control.
5 Ways a Narcissist Reacts When You Become FEARLESS
@LavenderandLinen
8 months ago
“Your rage is honest” I’ve never thought about this before. But you are so right. Our rage is honest, their rage is manipulative. Honest rage is something that they don’t understand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHEkkpqKn-k
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Standing order #1 regarding dealing with a narc is 'never let them see you sweat'.
How to Speak to a Narcissist When They Try to Manipulate You
@2ruamerican
10 months ago
when u use logic, they change the topic in the fight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWTLZNjk9HM
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Never be afraid of a narc. Behind that bully is a coward.
How To Outsmart and Shut Down A Narcissist
Sometimes you cannot go no-contact with a narcissist, meaning you will be exposed to them in all sorts of settings. Dr. Les Carter explains that you still have reasonable options as you are faced with their annoying tendencies. As you mentally match your expectations with reality, you can then choose to speak up in ways that clearly let the narcissist know that you won't get sucked into their negativity.
@SHANDI1967
1 year ago
A few of the best ways I’ve learned how to shut down an narcissist is to not engage with them, do not seek their approval, do your own thing, most of all, stay calm! They want you to blow your stack so they can can then turn around and point their fingers and tell everyone “ See, I told you so (about you)”. Don’t join their circus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBdX398T7zM
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Do narcissists know they're lying to people about you?
They do.
In order to lie effectively one must know the truth. Going in cold on a lie will probably make the narcissist look foolish. That is untenable to them. They must twist the truth in with the lie for it to stick.
Narcissists know what they are doing. They know what they want the outcome of their lies and manipulations to be. They could be different if they didn’t love their evil so much.
Many people still view them as victims of a disorder, which evidently prohibits them from being blamed for their atrocities.
Personally, I wish they’d all die of hemorrhoids.
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You better know they know!!! That's why they're projecting their bs on to you because it's bogus af and they want people to believe it's you. All apart of the fake ass victim, non accountability game they play. F*ck whatever they say you both know they are some pathological ass liars. Just get tf away...the longer you stay the more they project they're bullshit on to you!!! I promise it ain't worth the headache!!!
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-theyre-lying-to-people-about-you
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How do you verbally disarm a narcissist?
You disarm a narcissist by not giving Narcy what he or she is seeking. A narcissist is seeking your time, your energy, your attention, your praise, your care and concern, your compassion, your understanding, your empathy, your pity, your anger, your emotions, etc.
Basically, a narcissist is seeking your response. This person is a dishonest and highly manipulative individual who lacks a sense of shame and will go to extreme ends to get what he or she is after.
Happy people don’t get sucked into other peoples drama. Happy people learn that some people are toxic and the best response to toxic people is often no response. Happy people have learned to listen beyond words and judge behavior over intentions and justifications or excuses.
You have total control over what you think about and how you choose to respond and behave. You have the right to ignore. You have the right to not care. You have the right to walk away. You have the right to not explain yourself. You have the right to misunderstand and be misunderstood.
You have the right to remember it differently. You have the right to take your time and to change your mind. And you have the right enforce your boundaries with consequences to protect yourself from toxic people. (A consequence is something you will do - like walk away, hang up, limit your exposure to…, etc)
Narcissists try to bait you to divulge too much information. This information is used to fuel whatever fire they are stoking. Your goal is to suffocate the fire so that it lacks the oxygen to ever burn in the first place. Going no contact is best.
If you can’t go no contact then you need to become a boring gray rock. Your answers should be non answers said flatly and emotionlessly like “oh” or “wow” or “I remember it differently” and walk away. Do not elaborate or explain. Another technique is to BIFF your response (Brief, Informative, Factual, and Firm). Ignore all of the toxic rhetoric and respond strictly to the facts at hand.
Do not divulge anything else. Do not let it upset you. You have the right to not care what this technically crazy shameless liar says. You have the choice to not let his or her words inflame your response. Do not take the bait. If you do get caught up occasionally, forgive yourself and move on.
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You don't.
They will always have words to say, mostly lies and slander. And the more you argue or try and “disarm" them the more and more shite spews out of their mouths. I learned just to shut down. When they start in and it's something you don't agree with or is just a flat out lie, just sit there and be quiet.
Slowly disengage yourself from the converstation. Walk away. If a narc has no ears to listen to their bullshit, they will cease talking to you and search until they find someone that will listen to whatever they have to say.
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By not fighting. The narc wants to ensnare you, to bait you and hook you. But you don’t take the bait because you see the hook. Here are some suggestions for responses. These are from Lisa Romano. Google her.
I’m sorry you feel that way.
I can accept your perception of me. (That doesn’t mean you agree with it.)
I have no right to control how you perceive me.
I can accept your feelings.
I don’t want to argue about this anymore.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-verbally-disarm-a-narcissist
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What makes a narcissist run from you?
Traits That Make Narcissists Run Away
There are two key traits that can cause narcissists to run away from you:
Being your authentic self and living in your own truth. Narcissists hate when you retain your interests, boundaries, and fully express yourself. They want to control and manipulate you.
Holding the narcissist accountable and asking for clarification. Narcissists hate being held responsible for their actions. They will try to guilt, threaten, or attack you when you stand up to them.
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Complete indifference on your part for a start. A narcissist fears nothing more, than realising how unimportant they actually are. Go complete no-contact. Ignore the smear campaign, ignore any form of hoover. Then make yourself as invisible and boring to this person as you possibly can.
If they continue to try to abuse you or stalk you. Make sure you have a strong trusting network around you. Then tell Narcy you’ll expose them for who they truly are, or report them to the authorities. These people are cowards, and their reputation comes before anything else.
Their avoidance of you may hurt and confuse you to begin with, but it really means you win! You’re free! Good Luck x.
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Hopefully, it’s something that you said or did.
Narcissists avoid for one reason and one reason only. You said or did something that made them feel discarded. That is an affront to their core belief that they are superior to you. No one would dare disparage them, make them responsible for their actions or leave them.
If you called them on their outrageous behavior, their constant criticism, their abuse, gaslighting, lack of empathy and made them accountable for all of the characteristics that make a narcissist a narcissist, they would avoid you like the plague. They strategically use these maneuvers to disguise who they really are. A 5 year old having a tantrum. A narcissist’s idea of abuse is not getting their way.
Their false self can’t stand being outed. They bully to protect their false self from being revealed. Their low self esteem needs constant protection. What better way to protect, than to attack.
When you stand up for yourself, they feel abused. Why would they stay and be abused? Especially, from someone they think so little of. And so, we confirm to them how weak we are and spineless by sticking around for further abuse from them.
The only way a narcissistic relationship ends is when we call it quits. That’s the signal for them to avoid us. They have been discarded and that is their greatest fear. That’s why they do the discarding as much as possible, but usually, only when they have new supply lined up.
So walk away and see what happens. Show them your strong side and stop them in their tracks. Laugh at them. Be merciless. You can no longer put their feelings above yours anymore. They will kill your soul. They will destroy you just because they can.
Take back your life. That is the final discard.
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-a-narcissist-run-from-you
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Are narcissists bad people?
OMG when I saw this I just had to answer! ABSOLUTELY!
They are the worst people you will ever meet in your life.
They serve NO positive purpose on this planet.
They contribute nothing.
They use people, take from people and their ultimate goal is to destroy anyone and everything that comes into their path.
They have no good or positive intentions. Nothing positive will ever come out of their mouth. Because when they are talking they are LYING! And I mean they will lie about everything.
They will fabricate everything. Even the stories and smear campaign they have going on about you from the very beginning. Nothing in their lives is real. It is all a fake facade.
They don’t love. They don’t know how to love. They pretend. They deliberately go out of their way to cut everyone in their lives up. Doesn’t matter who. They will cut up complete strangers just to make themselves feel better. They love nothing more than taking you from where you were when they met you to completely destroying you and everything you worked your entire life for.
It doesn’t matter what job they have. How much money they have. They will lie, cheat and steal from you. They will make false accusations to the police and any authority figure against you. Or any sucker who will listen. They will file fake restraining orders, take you to court, whatever it takes until your demise.
They would even love to see you dead.
That is how morbid they are. And tell you that you deserve to die. Just so they can get sympathy from others at your own funeral. That’s just how sick and selfish they are! Everything they do is intentional and planned. So they will willfully knowing try everything to destroy! And will love every single minute of it. So yes, they are scum that walk this earth horrible people.
I can’t even call them human beings.
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Yes.
They purposely pretend to be something they are not. Coverts are extra bad because they will act overly sweet, fragile, considerate, kind and it’s all fake! It’s the only way people don’t immediately run away from them. Underneath all the acting, the false persona, is darkness. An abusive, selfish, demanding child that has no empathy for others.
They will manipulate, deceive and stop at nothing to get what they want without thought to those they harm. They will purposely inflict punishment on anyone that sees through their manipulations. They are the Dr Jekyll / Mr Hyde. Coverts are known to do more psychological harm on their victims than the obvious ones.
They are very bad people indeed!
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Covert narcissists are not people at all, they are anti-people.
The covert narcissist is deeply envious of those who have worked hard to develop skills, talents empathy, relationships, morality — and all the rest of the elements that make up a person.
The narcissist has focussed on their powers of manipulation, they have put all their eggs in that basket.
The narcissist derives their sense of personhood by getting other people to acknowledge their superiority. As they are seldom superior in any way, due to their lifetime focus on manipulation, the narcissist generally (99% of the time) makes do with ruining other people's days.
Ruining someone's day proves to the narcissist that they are a better person. Only a superior person could ruin the day of another. The narcissist is also attempting to prove how pathetic people are, how developing into a person is a waste of time, all you need in life is the ability to manipulate.
Covert narcissists are people eaters.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/Are-narcissists-bad-people
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:help:
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Why The Narcissist Is NOT Happier With New Supply
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNJIIre0tWM
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They’re the most paranoid, anxious, insecure people ever. It’s the weight of all that guilt and shame they carry that eats away at them.
The Demonic Spirit Within the Narcissist & Spiritual Warfare
@Ranunculus924
2 months ago
God is not the author of confusion.
@robbieogle8622
2 months ago
They are damaged people that refuse to heal. They are jealous of those that heal.
@Sigma_Paul126
2 months ago
Narcs are Demons!!
@rapstar4575
2 months ago
Yes they are evil. Yes they have evil spirits within.
@phat-katkitchen283
2 months ago
They make you seem like you're going crazy while they think they're perfect!
@user-yy9op7uo2c
2 months ago
The narcissists nefarious sixth sense is the download of information they get from demons.
@casperinsight3524
2 months ago
They were never all in.
You served a purpose.
That's it, that's all folks.
You were played.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFAbvZPmPAo
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What do narcissists enjoy doing the most in a relationship?
The answer is quite simple: Control!
Narcissists get into relationships for darker reasons than you might think. They care more about control than love or being desired. Narcissists are users and abusers. They see friends as people they can manipulate and partners as emotional punching bags.
Their goal is to take everything they can from you and leave you with nothing. They have high expectations and believe they're entitled to more from others than they deserve.
Because of this, boundaries annoy them, and they aim to break them down. Narcissists hate seeing others with independence, confidence, or individuality.
Their ideal relationship is one where they have full control over the other person. They want someone who will put up with their lies, cheating, mistreatment, manipulation, and disrespect without pushing back. They want relationships where they set all the rules, and the other person just obeys.
Narcissists want relationships where the other person only speaks when spoken to, agrees with everything they say, and only challenges them if asked. They also want to control who you spend time with and be the final decision-maker in your life. They expect respect, loyalty, and consideration without giving anything in return.
For them, relationships should revolve around their needs and desires. They don't want to put in any effort but still get all the benefits of companionship. Unfortunately, relationships with narcissists almost always end badly.
The only way to make a relationship with a narcissist work is to become their doormat and tolerate their behavior. But even then, the relationship will be unhealthy and one-sided. You'll end up sacrificing your time, energy, and resources because narcissists only want relationships that give them total control.
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The narcissist enjoys you making them look good. This is not a relationship, as they do not relate to you, no matter how hard you try to relate to them. They see you as you are: pathetic, servile, lonely; they just can't relate.
Doing this all the time — using you to make them look and thus feel good is humiliating, as it requires a lot of lying, toadying and placing lips on buttocks. You become resentful, surly, and you even start to make them look bad.
NEXT!
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Narcissists enjoy doing the most things that make them look good and feel powerful. They love being in control and feeling superior to their partners. So they often enjoy dominating and manipulating their partners, as well as putting them down.
They also get a lot of pleasure from being admired and praised, so they may engage in grandiose displays of wealth or power, or they may try to be the center of attention at all times. Ultimately, narcissists derive a great deal of satisfaction from wielding power and control over others.
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Train their partner like a dog, to openly anticipate the narc’s needs based on whatever he feels, except sex because they withheld sex with their partner.
Let’s get to it, you can’t enjoy anything while you hate your partner, and they hate their partner because they hate themselves and since their partner loves them, he is clearly broken and in need of killing.
Basically what a narc enjoys is killing slowly their partner through:
Lies, gaslighting, cheating, devaluing, repeated triangulation, talking to exes, having a large group withholding affection, withholding sex, rejecting, manufacturing fake reality, you name it.
Think of the devil, and the devil is here to kill your soul, but the devil has a sexy body, which he won’t give to you, but rather to anyone else and make you watch, then laugh at how stupid you are for not seeing it early, and he will do it for as long as you want him to. He will keep hovering and answer your calls. He’s not going away, he's enjoying it wayyyy to much…and he’s entitled to it
Narcs will like 2 things: extravagance and the illusion of status. Owning things having great effect, manipulating and most importantly.... supply.
In general, some narcs love to travel, they like drinking or drugs, smoking, sex but most importantly they like to be independent and do what they want.
So in no particular order, depending on the narc and the relationship they like:
Spending your money.
Living off you, with all expenses paid.
Convincing you to get a job to cover their expenses.
Making you do something, isolating you, controlling you, getting you to choose between them and the parents.
If they like pets you need more pets. 4 5 6 whatever they can get you to agree to.
Traveling.
Massage preferably by a professional that you pay for.
Expensive objects, could be a pc for guys or a phone/makeup/stuff for girls.
Exes and friends, you won’t find anyone ever more into dating, exes and just friends, you have to understand they wouldn’t cheat they are not like that.
Triangulation and cheating…they want you to know, and know it’s your fault you made them do it…and ….they will do it again.
Usually some sort of machiavellian game in which someone else gets hurt but trough indirect actions. Favorite activities include home wrecking - a favorite sport, because of the implied secrecy.
Looking like a good person that helps people, anything to bolster that facade.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-enjoy-doing-the-most-in-a-relationship
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Why are narcissists so miserable?
Every action has a reaction.
And with every attempt at destroying God’s children, narcissists are being punished in this life too.
So in my opinion, they deserve every minute of the miserable life they lead.
F*CK'EM. They earned it.
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Narcissists are miserable because a lot of their own happiness relies on the happiness of others.
The part of the brain responsible for empathy, called the Left Anterior Insula Cortex, is also responsible for feelings of well-being.
The truth is, as individuals, we don't always experience great success. We face difficult times, setbacks, and moments of struggle. But when we can be part of other people's lives, sharing laughter during tough times, offering support in difficult moments, and celebrating their achievements, we gain extra happiness. Connecting with others helps alleviate feelings of loneliness, and sharing experiences gives us the joy of being understood and understanding others.
If we always have to be better than everyone else, we miss out on the happiness that comes from genuine connections with others.
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Narcissists carry internal shame from their youth. Whether real or perceived, they felt emotionally abandoned or ignored. Because early needs for emotional fulfillment didn’t occur, the narcissist grows up feeling a sense of lack, a sense of not good enough. This leads to a life of comparison, envy, self-victimization, and feeling individuated from other siblings, friends, students.
The core shame is suppressed and a false facade (fake personality) is developed through adolescence to cope with the external world. They betray their true selves as being unlovable, unpopular, stupid, ugly, angry, grotesque - often messages of shame that they received from a parent or caretaker either directly or indirectly.
Into adulthood, they use their facade like an actor uses a memorized script. Learning through experience to be attractive, be funny, be memorable, be desirable, be sporty, be popular. They become socially astute and mirror the people who can help them, serve them, teach them, love them.
Unfortunately, it’s not genuine and eventually, those closest pullback or become less enchanted.
The mask slips.
For the narcissist, their life becomes a constant struggle to keep people where they want them. To control and manipulate others by playing on sympathies and using conditional tactics to keep people from leaving (fear of others abandoning is a major underlying fear and motivation). Where necessary, the narcissist will abandon partners before they can be abandoned first. Reactions are childish but also abusive, petty, and selfish.
The sadness is because a narcissist can never feel whole and loved for being themselves. The narcissist constantly needs attention, validation, and praise, but at the same time, they can’t ever be sure the ‘other’ is being true.
When a partner says they love them, they know it only the good parts that have been divulged. Much of the narcissist true core is hidden under shame and fear.
Most narcissists are prone to bouts of depression and disappointment.
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Narcissists are unhappy… they are bitter and resentful, because they are unable to change how they feel or their outlook on life, and they don't know how to "fix" this so they blame you and the world for their problems.
At the heart of the NPD inflicted individual, is someone who takes little or no accountability for their own thoughts, actions, behaviors – and instead point their finger towards others.
Blame-shifting and projection.
Denial about who they really are.
No accountability or responsibility.
Narcissists always find something to be unhappy about, even when there is lots of good stuff they could turn their attention to if they wanted – they are a magnate to the negative and dramatic.
And they can't have you feeling good, happy, or proud. Not on their watch.
Any good feeling which is not active within them, they will immediately extinguish if active in others.
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Basically b/c they are selfish, spoiled children. They never get past the emotional age of between 4–14, depending on what they want in that moment. They are like very spoiled toddlers. They have very fragile egos, and believe that if they diminish you, that lifts them up.
None of it is conscious however. They actually believe they are wonderful, caring people. And that all of their (or your) problems are b/c of you…If YOU would just be nicer, more tolerant, more forgiving, etc etc…your life together would be a fairytale.
NPDs use others. You are an object to them for their use. So even as they are betraying or abusing you - they are finding ways to internalize why it is YOUR fault they ‘have to’ do it.
They have normal IQs, but a selfish child’s emotions. They can get through college or various job trainings, but they cannot “learn” how to be a kind &/or loving person - b/c 1) they don’t know what that looks like, and 2) they believe they already are. Stubborn and selfish = Rotten.
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It has been ingrained in them since childhood and it's most likely a defense mechanism, but also a serious disorder. That still is not an excuse for how anal and cruel they can be to the people who they deceive and make love them.
Narcissists are selfish. Self centered. Egotistical.
Fragile. Broken. Hopeless. Angry. Bitter. Pathetic. They are the empty shells of the person they might have been before their trauma.
So they want their good natured victims who possess everything they're not, to suffer because of it.
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-miserable
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How do you make a narcissist go crazy for what they have done to you?
The whole point of narcissistic abuse is you going crazy. And now you really are going crazy thinking of ways how to make a narcissist crazy, because the abuse they’ve done is beyond compare.
I don’t judge you for wanting a narcissist to suffer because I’ve been there, I’ve had these feelings. Most of us here have been seriously contemplating some type of revenge at one point.
I know that this is probably not the answer you are looking for, but it’s the only truth you need. And until you accept that truth, you won’t be able to move on from wanting to “win”, get an upper hand or revenge on a narcissist.
You won’t be able to stop wishing harm to them. Because this isn’t you, you’re not the kind of person who cares about “winning” a game with anyone really. You may even wonder how did you even get into this state where you want to have revenge on someone? You know you’re better than that. And much simpler, because the things you want are simple - you want justice, equality, sense of peace.
You just want to get your old self back and erase this chapter from your life. You want to live. And still, you may be convinced that if you manage somehow to hurt a narcissist, you will feel better.
Here’s the thing;
All of the bad things that you can think of trying to do to a narcissist (you name them - harassing, stalking, hacking, sending long essays, long e-mails about how they suck or how they hurt you, being angry in front of their face, trying to manipulate them, telling them they are a Narcissist, “exposing them”, laughing at them, blocking-deleting-blocking-deleting, being salty or shady, throwing eggs at their house, for god’s sake even pulling off their pants in public) just won’t work.
Because all those things make you FOCUSED on a narcissist. And (I’m not even exaggerating), your focus on them is their #1 reason to live. Their living and breathing depends on you being ensnared and obsessed by them, either in a positive or negative way. They want you to waste your time on them, they can only benefit from you actively trying to make them feel your hurt and that’s exactly one thing you should avoid doing.
You must embrace the fact that you’re living in a new awareness now once you’ve learnt about Narcissism. I’m sure you wonder “Why me, why was I the one who had to go through this? I did not deserve this abuse.”
And you’re right, you didn’t deserve this. Nothing in your life prepared you for it. No one in this world can apologize for it, ever. But by living in your new awareness and having the knowledge and the experience you had, you’ll be 100 times more careful with people you let in your life from now on. If you mentally survived this, you can survive anything. You’ve championed this and there is nothing to fear anymore. You know what kind of life you want to live from now on.
A narcissist cannot be changed by you and honestly, they shouldn’t be changed by you. Your life’s purpose is not to take care of a sad little insecure kid living in an adult body. I’m sure your life’s purpose is much greater and more significant than that. Go on and live your best life, and somewhere beneath those layers, I assure you it’s going to play out as your winning moment for a life time.
Yes they will sense you have moved on and it will be enormously effective. Because this is the type of “revenge” you won’t be putting any thoughts or effort into, you’re just going to be you, yourself – living your best beautiful life unapologetically. That’s how you move on and at the same time, make a narcissist go crazy without actually even trying, because you decided that there’s no place for them in your new life anymore.
And you know what is the most beautiful thing? Once you reach that point where you’re living your true life, you won’t even care if they go crazy or not. You just will not care because you will realize that your life is worth so much more than focusing on this hollow & miserable wax figure we call a narcissist.
What you need now is detachment and healing.
Go and read everything you can about being No Contact and take it into action, do it properly. Learn from the damage that was done to you and remind yourself what kind of loving and empathetic person you are.
Arm yourself with knowledge and you will find your own closure. Bring the focus back on you and all those things awaiting you to love them will come naturally, as you’re holding the brush and painting your new reality.
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I love this question as honestly so many people are suffering way too much at the hands of these evil people.
You will drive the narcissist crazy:
When you are the hated one and you survive. You not only survive the hatred strategy but become happy again.
When no matter what the narcissist does to trigger your anger, you remain collected and polite. I love it! It takes enormous self discipline.
When we do not show emotions with them. No supply here you monster is the real message.
When we discard the narcissist but please be careful as this is bound to create a narcissistic injury and you can easily become the hated one.
When we don’t take the calls of the narcissist.
When we act unemotional with the flying monkeys.
When we deal with the narcissist in a smart manner.
When we show them that morality pays in life. Stick to the right path and heaven will provide enormous abundance.
When the child of a narcissist calls out the crap out of the narcissist parent. With partners, I do not suggest this but with the children of narcissists, yes I do. After all that torture, it will show the child has back bone to expose the parent for all the sick games.
When a narcissist has to face authorities. Bullshit has not managed to get them past this one.
When an alienated parent is reunited with the children!
Please drive all narcissists crazy. They must learn their lesson. Hating and destroying human beings is not a way to live your life.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-make-a-narcissist-go-crazy-for-what-they-have-done-to-you
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How do I fool a narcissist?
A clever way to handle a narcissist is to let them believe that they discarded you, allowing them to walk away feeling like the "winner" in your relationship (to them, everything is a game they must win at any cost).
Sometimes, it's necessary to outsmart those who think they're outsmarting you. This approach works best if you're genuinely ready to move on, hoping they'll leave you in peace.
Otherwise, I strongly advise against playing games with narcissists. They don’t handle being deceived well and will seek revenge, often in ways that are far more damaging.
Stay safe and good luck. (I share this from my personal experiences with covert narcissists.)
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You fool a narcissist by not allowing them to fool you.
You recognize their patterned and repetitive manipulations for what they are. You don’t even have to confront them. Remove yourself from their control and control yourself right out the door away from them and the situation they are trying to put you in. They need, want and require the attention they are trying to make you give them.
If you’ve been giving them all the supply you can muster, they think they have you under their control. Fool them by helping yourself and leaving.
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Narcissists have had their whole lives to become experts at manipulation. They've had way more than 10,000 hours of practice.
Part of learning how to fool a narcissist is believing that you can do it. You have to start to realize that:
This person might not be as smart as they think they are.
They might not be as powerful as they think they are.
You might not be as bad as they want you to believe.
When it comes to negotiating, a big part of it is believing that you can put forward a position and actually win. It's really hard to get out of the mindset that the narcissist has control and is stronger than you. But you have to start thinking "I can turn this around. I can shift the dynamic. They're not as strong as I think they are."
So the first step is believing in your own ability to fool the narcissist. You can do it without feeling beat up.
The second thing to remember is that the higher the narcissist flies, the harder they'll fall. They aren't as powerful as they pretend to be.
Narcissists need "narcissistic supply" - they get satisfaction from making you feel intimidated and controlled. So you can trick them by making them think something is really important to you, when it's actually not that important at all. Then they'll focus on trying to take that thing away from you, but you don't really care about it.
You can also fool them by not getting upset when they try to provoke an emotional reaction. Act upset, but inside stay calm and collected. This gives them less "narcissistic supply."
Another technique is called "bartering" - you can fluff up their ego a bit to get something you want from them. This is a way of tricking them.
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You don't want to fool a narcissist. If you do you're entering into the game of the narcissist. It is like no other game you have ever played, and you always lose.
So why would you want to go down that path? The only game you want to play with the narcissist is the keep away from their game.
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Technically… if you know what a narcissist is, and you know this individual is a narcissist, and you allow yourself to become supply to this narcissist....you are manipulating them. You would have seen something coming that shouldn’t have happened, and you would have done nothing to stop it.
That’s not the manipulation you are asking about. You are asking about revenge. You’d like to call it justice… but it is still revenge.
Here’s the thing about getting even. Your opponent has to agree and acknowledge that you “got even”. They would be acknowledging they did something, and they would be acknowledging that what you did was roughly equal to what they did. And… that it is over.
With the Narcissist… if admitting what they did will make them look bad, they aren’t going to admit anything. They would turn your act of revenge, into the First Shot Fired in an act of war. You would have started this, not them. And then you are fighting on two fronts… you are fighting the Narc, and fighting the public opinion.
Otherwise… if you are thinking about using stealth, you must remember that you, a person who has proven not to be a very good judge of character by allowing yourself to fall victim to the narcissist, are planning on going up against someone who has proven to be a pretty good judge of character, considering that they were able to read you and determine the best way to manipulate you.
They’ve got practice lying, manipulating, and reading people. That means it is easier for them to spot others that are doing it too. They *can* be blind to what someone is doing if they want to convince themselves otherwise… like if they think that what they want is within their reach.
So if you’ve got something the Narc really wants, you might be able to use that as leverage, and manipulate the Narc while you string them along. They’ll most likely spot the situation before you realize they’ve caught on… but you would have manipulated them.
https://abnormalpsychology101.quora.com/How-to-fool-a-narcissist
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The first thing to realize is you can’t fool the narcissist! A narcissist always has to be right and will do anything to protect his/her fragile ego.
5 Ways in Which You Can FOOL The Narcissist and Expose Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsiuqL3QPmk
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Narcissists actually expect you to tolerate behavior they would never accept. They are insecure bullies that turn into petulant cowards when the tables get flipped on them.
5 Ways To Manipulate a Narcissist & Shut them Down
@Isabela2024-yr
3 months ago
I defeated the freaking narcissist. He thinks he's too smart, but I think he miscalculated me. He didn't expect I could outsmart him. Actually, they are not that smart. He thinks by yelling so loud, he can overpower me. He doesn't know I will open the door and windows for the neighbors to hear the nasty narcissist. The neighbors are the witnesses. I embarrassed him left and right. One of the neighbors asked, "Are you ok? I replied, "No, you should see the narcissist went hiding for months from our neighborhood". Thank God the coward is gone.
@a.williams9
3 months ago
"Think the worst and you'll be certain" always works with a narcissist.
@SylisDaGoldenPeach
3 months ago
I’ve noticed something about the narcissist, they are scared to be alone. I know a girl who kept using people for money and rides but would dispose of them and not pay back the money. When she ran out of people to use she would go down the line apologizing and hitting back up the people who she did wrong. Even in real life I noticed how she’d always need someone new to talk gossip with when she wasn’t getting the praise she needed from the previous friend. Narcissists are in fact cowards.
@danmurray1143
3 months ago
The only good thing about narcissists is they are very predictable. Once you learn this stuff you might be amazed at how easy it is to stay a play or two ahead.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=630XRMaPEfU
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Indeed, they "do you dirty" and laugh at your pain. No decency, no civility. Like a demon, no compassion and no mercy.
10 Signs That A Narcissist Is Playing You For A Fool
Not only are narcissists not sincere, but they look for all sorts of ways to manipulate you for their gain. Dr. Les Carter identifies 10 of the most common ways narcissists will mess with you...and as you see their tactics for what they are, you can adjust accordingly.
@SitesWithAds
1 year ago
When they talk bad about their other friends behind their backs, you can be sure they are talking bad about you when you're not there.
@nancylarrea9396
7 months ago
Narcissists fool themselves into believing they are something they are not. It’s so silly, and sad to watch and they HATE being called out on it. And they really hate people that can see through them.
@bonnieanderson8476
1 year ago (edited)
This is why I would rather just be by myself! So many people are narcissist!
@fionabutchart4663
1 year ago
Love that “ I just want you to have your peace”. It is so peaceful when they are not around.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boMNsDKFWXE
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This title already explains their recurring cycle of playing with you: first they play the innocent so that they can really confuse you which is the precondition to draw you into their chaos.
How Narcissists Fall From Innocence Into Confusion Into Chaos
Each individual enters the world in a state of innocence. As the years pass, confusion can settle in as emotional and relational challenges build. Dr. Les Carter explains how we each come to a fork in the road during adolescence and early adulthood. Will you respond to your confusion with a growth mentality or will chaos settle in?
@PantaRhei-wz5zn
1 day ago (edited)
For me, a problem is that the Narc only wants the best outcome in that exact moment + Willingly Blind to understand how all these moments piece together to a pattern over longtime (of negativity, often also for them). They don't wish to understand the long term consequences themselves + Deaf if you try to explain it to them. And thus Chaos ensues....
@yukio_saito
1 day ago
Chaos is their home ground. They get back to their habitat.
@caroleminke6116
12 hours ago
A narc cannot learn because it lacks insight. Period.
@brucefriedman1
1 day ago
Narcissists hold natural innocence in contempt because it conflicts with the confusing unnatural duality of their inner sadness juxtaposed against their outward pretense of happiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJxMECrXGX4
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A lack of knowledge of this curse is the main problem.
Why the Narcissist Was Able to Play You
@manbearpig7950
6 months ago
They don't draw you in with just their looks,they usually have major game going, very practiced and polished.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sr4tZP473s
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How do narcissists react to criticism?
Ooooooooh…they don’t like that. That causes the legions to come out and fight. You’ve gone and “mocked” perfection and the mask says that’s NOT cool! Hahahahaha!
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Narcissists can't handle criticism in a healthy way. Narcissists, at any cost, don't want to know they have flaws. Criticism triggers the shame in narcissists. When you bombard narcissists with constructive criticism, they will run away, ignore you, or get angry at you because the narcissist feels insulted and humiliated when you criticize them.
When you criticize narcissists, they are like, How dare you point at their flaws? Narcissists will blame you for everything by projecting their flaws onto you. Narcissists lack object relations; they will look at you as if you are a very bad person. Narcissists believe you are going against them when you criticize them. When you criticize narcissists, it hurts their ego.
Narcissists live in their own world of fantasy, where they believe they are perfect individuals. No one should even dare criticize them.
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In a single word: VICIOUSLY
Narcissists take any and all criticism as a personal insult.
How dare you!
Who the hell do you think you are?
Get ready for triangulation. If the narcissist is a coworker, depending on their position, be prepared to get screwed.
My old boss was an overt narcissist, meaning he was the more vocal, showy, proud type of narcissist.
He caught wind that I'd complained about the ridiculous “staff meetings” he implemented, which cut a half hour of productivity out of everyone's day so he could sit us all down like peons and listen to himself talk, then trash on all of us and hand out public write-ups.
I had my hours cut from 35 to 10 hours per week, I was thrown out of the department, and I was written up for “insubordination”. All because I felt like the “staff meetings” were a waste of time and shared this with an untrustworthy coworker.
Another coworker was likewise written up for complaining, and when she responded that the write-up was bullshit and that narc boss was arrogant and incompetent, she was fired.
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Naturally…they get offended. You may be accused of attacking them. They love to use that word…attack. They will turn the criticism back onto you. Don’t tolerate it. Who the felafel are they? They are humans hardwired to use and abuse.
Their criticism of you is them projecting their issues onto you…nothing more. Listen closely to that sh!t because it gives you real insight to what they’re all about…aka reverse honesty. These hypocrites are delusional to think that they’re in a position to judge or criticize other humans because they have no humanity in them. Don’t put up with it…kick it to the curb.
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No one really likes to be criticised, but people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have an unusually strong reaction. They are likely to become enraged and threatened by any type of negative feedback, even if it is meant to be helpful. They tend to feel as if your criticism is an attempt to destroy them.
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1. Narcissists react defensively when someone criticizes them.
It's like a punch to their ego. They can't handle it well at all. Instead of taking it in stride as most people might, they see it as a personal attack, no matter how minor the disagreement or criticism is. So what happens when they feel threatened by criticism? Narcissists go into defense mode big time. They get all angry, maybe even throwing some aggression your way. They're putting up a shield to protect their fragile self-esteem.
2. Overt or Passive-Aggressive Rage.
When narcissists receive criticism, they react negatively by showing overt or passive-aggressive rage. Narcissists can't handle that someone is not praising their supposed greatness. This rage they display is called narcissistic rage. When you criticize or contradict them, they feel like their whole world is crumbling because their false sense of self gets shattered. Instead of reflecting on themselves, narcissists unleash their fury on you.
3. Spread Rumors Against You.
One of the ways these self-absorbed individuals deal with criticism is by spreading rumors about the person who dared to criticize them. It's like their defense mechanism kicks in. Instead of dealing with negative feedback maturely, they try to tarnish the reputation of the person who called them out. It's a way for them to deflect attention from their shortcomings and try to make the critic look bad.
4. Deflect.
When narcissists face criticism, they do this sneaky thing called deflecting. Instead of taking responsibility or considering it, it's like a magician's trick. Narcissists divert the attention away from themselves and point the finger at someone else. It's a way for them to protect their fragile egos because they can't handle feeling wrong or imperfect.
5. Contempt.
In the face of criticism, narcissists hold the critic in contempt, meaning they look down on the person criticizing them. By doing this, the narcissist shrugs off the criticism and makes the other person seem less credible. It's like they're saying, "Who cares what you think? You're not worth listening to anyway."
By belittling the critic, the narcissist feels better about themselves and doesn't have to face the fact that they might need to change or improve. It's like putting on a shield to block out anything that could dent their grand self-image.
:tello: On a personal note, when I was with Sherry years ago, when we were travelling, she was driving, she gets distracted easily. Numerous times we couldda died. I say 'Hey, watch the road'.
And her response, everytime was "STFU!"
Really mature.
F*cking wench. NO respect for anything on many levels.
She is a walking, driving disaster.
And she wonders why I don't like her.
https://fphlhibflhdupulk.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-react-to-criticism
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Why would a narcissist want to abuse you if they don't want you?
Narcissists must abuse you.
They're unable to distinguish between self and not self. They have to absorb you into them until you become a part of them, you become involved in a difficult or unpleasant situation from which it is hard to escape because that is the only way that they can see you, understand you, and connect to you.
They can't connect to you as a separate individual. They have to connect to you as an easily influenced, suggestible, susceptible, shapeable, and impressionable part of themselves, which is why they will make you a part of them because they can't leave their fantasy and come out into the real world to meet you.
They have to drag you into the fantasy with them, which can become a big problem for you because they hate themselves. They have this self-critical voice inside their head, which is causing them to do all of these things to you because it's telling them they're a liar. It's telling them they're talking nonsense. It's saying they're useless, and it's their inner critic.
It's this voice of their parent or some other adult from their childhood, and they don't know how to deal with it or shut it off. So they have to pull you into it. And while they're hearing this voice inside their heads, they begin to hate themselves. But then you're a part of them, and they've got this other voice in their head that is saying they're perfect while this other voice is saying they're bad.
So they're fighting this self-critical voice inside their heads, and they're telling themselves they're perfect, which is why they then display a wild, deranged excitement and energy and they're frantic, intense, irritable, and aggressive because of this internal voice.
To where they then label you as the bad object even though you may not have done anything wrong because they're not going to subject themselves to ill treatment, so they have to see themselves as perfect and as god, which means that you have to become the sacrifice in reverence, admiration, or fear of them because they're so wonderful and amazing.
So now they must abuse you because if it's not you, then it's them, and it can't be them because they don't want to be subject to ill treatment. So as a result of these voices in their heads that are giving them conflicting messages, they have to abuse people.
And it's not just that they're arrogant or entitled because if they really believe that they were that wonderful, then they wouldn't need to abuse you. They would just continue with whatever they're doing because they're wonderful. But they need to abuse you because they're experiencing extreme fear, self-hatred, anxiety, and depression.
https://www.quora.com/Why-would-a-narcissist-want-to-abuse-you-if-they-dont-want-you
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This is something you have to accept and be ok with it when moving on from being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist.
Don’t try and get people to see you’re not what the narcissist is saying you are; just ride the wave and let God fight your battle for you and you will be much better off and eventually people will start to see through the narcissist’s lies and if they don’t, oh, well … you know who you are as a person and don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Just keep moving forward and focus on your healing and growth and don’t look back.
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I absolutely don’t care what people think about me spreading the word of narcissistic abuse.
I wish we could start with middle school and teach toxic versus healthy relationships. It’s a pandemic because psychological abuse falls solely on the survivors and abusers are getting away with the most heinous acts across the world.
Knowledge is the start for someone out there trying to make sense of their trauma and pain.
Keep learning survivors.
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Can we please spread the word?
Stop future generations from booking up with these superficial souls. They mirror your likes and dislikes just to get you in bed then they slowly use power to control you by shaming your likes and dislikes.
It’s all a game to them as they have no desire to be there for you in the long term. It’s painful more if you have children with them. They make the worst parents thinking of double dating after not knowing the pain they caused a child so they double date as if that makes sense in any healthy family. Especially because you haven’t divorced your wife.
These people act like monsters but look like everyone else.
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How does a narcissist tend to react to being exposed?
They crack on and tell everyone you're a psycho. Because it's never their fault and they are obviously the victim. They go on a tirade of abuse and absolute dickery, because they have to show you how you're the crazy one.
Honestly, it's not worth the hassle. The people who love you know the truth, that's what matters.
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I exposed mine and, in all seriousness, he didn’t give two shites. Deny, deny, deny. They have this uncanny ability to make you look like the villain and they are the victim.
They don’t care. They will wiggle their way out of it like they do everything else.
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There are many options that the narcissist may choose, once they have been exposed.
They may run and hide, never to be seen again, hiding their head in the sand until it has all blown over. Most are cowards who cannot stand the confrontation, unless they are surrounded by their flying monkeys.
They will sometimes retaliate with harsh words, spewing verbal abuse upon you in the hope that they will push you back into your shell - confused, dejected, isolated and stripped of any confidence. They have controlled you once, they will try to do it again.
Deny and continue to lie. This is one of the best reactions, as by now you will have seen through all their garbage. You will look at them amazed by the rubbish still spilling out of them. While narcissists are manipulative, cunning, sly and sneaky, they are also for the most part, pretty dumb, and you will realise that nothing they say ever adds up. The stories they tell are absolutely ludicrous, now you have taken off your rose-coloured glasses.
They may become violent, even if they have never been before. They feel cornered and trapped by the truth.
They may accelerate the smearing and quickly, to prove to everyone that you are a lunatic.
If they are confronted with someone who knows the whole truth, they may stand there silently - like a statue, staring blankly as if you had just told them the world was ending. There is no discussion, no conversation, no apology or no disagreement - nothing.
They may use anything in their arsenal of knowledge of you, to impact you in some way - loss of job, children, career, friendships, family… anything they can do to make you pay for knowing the truth about them.
Know that a narcissist (especially a covert), will never accept responsibility or take accountability for what they have done.
They will never apologise for the pain they have put you through (at least not sincerely).
They will always try to blame you for their indiscretions.
They will always portray themselves as the victim.
They will deny, even when you are showing them documented proof of their indiscretions.
They will never allow you to look like the better person in this situation.
They will never try to right their wrongs, and if they say they will it will always be just lip-service.
They will never have a conscience.
They will never feel remorse over their wrongs or the way they have affected you.
The only good to come out of exposing them, is knowing that they will then avoid you like the plague! No contact has ever been so easy! It is also such a nice feeling knowing that they know that you know!
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-tend-to-react-to-being-exposed
Could a narcissist feel shame after you have exposed them?
Yes, but it will be hard to detect, all you are going to see is anger and rage, and somebody coming at you. Enjoy.
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If they are if they are truly a narcissist, any shame that they feel will be in connection with how they are seen in the public eye. It will not be the least bit related to any wrong that they did to another. They will be solely concerned about their reputation and how this will affect their ability to harness narcissistic supply.
Because they lack the ability to feel empathy, they lack the ability to appreciate the hurtfulness of their actions. Thus, they will not feel shame for anything that they have done; rather, it is a concern with appearances, and any repercussions affecting them from their own actions.
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No. Anything that would normally trigger shame will only trigger anger and retaliation. A narc already has mountains of shame that they have buried and justified away, creating a pathological mindset that they must never allow themselves to feel shame or remorse. If they appear remorseful it is an act to keep you coming back. They don't do sorry. Besides, its always someone else's fault, so why should they feel sorry?
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Yes! However unfortunate, the narcissist doesn’t take responsibility for how they treat themselves or others.
The truth is inherently worthy of speaking, even if narcissists do not think so. They consider their feelings to be equal to the truth. If they feel sad, their truth is, you hurt them. If they feel ugly, someone’s doing it to them, and they have a right to do whatever they please to the person.
A narcissist can momentarily feel bad, but then the narcissistic style kicks in, including blaming you for how they, the narcissist chooses to treat themselves when the truth comes out.
They don’t see the truth as different from using falsehood to attack, shame and destroy someones self worth.
They want us to feel responsible if they choose to hate themselves when the truth comes out, and also fearful of what they may do to us, and also want us to understand exposing the truth will not help them. They want us to take responsibility for their emotions, and never mind how their choice to behave harmfully is what’s being exposed. And they want us to feel fearful of what they may do to us.
I hope no one chooses to lie in order to protect a narcissists feelings. It can be dangerous to have a disordered individual after you, so consider that.
However;
The truth is important, its narcissists that should learn instead to use the truth and the bad feelings that they’ve earned to make better choices.
I wish that “the truth” about me was exposed, and the “truth” about predatory narcs is consistently exposed.
God forbid I stop speaking, hearing or seeing the truth because it will cause a narc to abuse themselves or become nastier. That threat that puts all the responsibility on the victims of the narcissist.
So yes, take note that the narcissist can feel bad, but they will blame you, you will be held responsible, and they do not acknowledge the difference between their feelings and solid objective truth.
They will see you as playing the same “game” as them, even if you expose only the truth. They see reality as something that is naturally warped in service to ego. So, it won’t matter that you’re simply exposing them for lying or manipulating. They will see you as using the “truth” to “manipulate” others against them.
They may even be more furious at you because the truth is on your side. And so now you think “you’re so special”. They will not acknowledge that they choose to think this way. Instead they will believe everyone thinks this way, and that its other peoples fault.
They choose to believe others are making them feel and think certain things. And they also refuse to see that people can choose, and that others choose differently.
If a narcissist chooses to devalue themselves they will blame you. And you will become the focus of their rage.
Focusing their rage on you will prevent them from feeling the shame that they deserve. So its temporary and staved off when they refocus on how unfair it is.
Reread it and learn.
Narcissists don’t care about reality. They care about their feelings and everything in reality will be warped to satisfy their emotional needs. Where as better people will choose to meet each other on the common ground of reality, the narcissist insists their feelings are the same as “reality” and as worthy as “truth”, that if something doesn’t serve to make them feel good, its as worthless as an ugly lie.
https://www.quora.com/Could-a-narcissist-feel-shame-after-you-have-exposed-them
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What actually causes a narcissist to feel so shameful?
:shame: :ni: :guilt:
Being called out by someone who knows the truth on their BS. They tend to exaggerate other’s perceived faults and minimize their own. They don’t ever apologize unless they are sucking up, they discard anyone in their lives who doesn’t serve a purpose to them, not caring how it will affect others.
If cornered or caught in a lie they will deflect, deflect, deflect. They tend to be shallow insecure people who need constant outside approval . They do not want you to know them because then you would see them for what they are. Status is everything.
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It depends on that person’s life experiences and the type of abuse they experienced, verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, etc. So what ever made them feel weak, ignorant, defective, bad, undervalued or unloved etc. can result in different causes of shame for different people.
The narcissist tries to resolve his/her shame by learning how to become the dominant and abusive one whereas a codependent partner tries to resolve their own shame by convincing a narcissist, who is driven to devalue them, that they are lovable and deserving of not being devalued.
It is irrational to try to convince someone who enjoys devaluing others that you are someone who deserves to not be devalued. And it is equally irrational to try to dominate others with abuse and devaluation to prove some imagined superiority.
We are all equals, no one is innately superior just different skill sets and different values.
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A narcissist feels shame a lot. They fear that this will be exposed about them and they hate to feel this.
They are not able to deal with their feeling of shame and they project this onto other people. They actually try to shame other people and they know how bad this person feels because they feel it too.
They tell their partners, children and friends that they are not good enough. This is actually how they really feel about themselves. They feel shame when they are at risk of being exposed because then this is now out in the open. The facade they created is not real and the true person behind the mask is revealed .
This can be devastating for them as they try very hard to show the false self they created to other people. They feel shame because they did not feel they were accepted, loved and connected to their parent/caregiver when they were young.
They knew that this was conditional love and acceptance and they were not accepted just as they are. They had to earn this by people pleasing and playing the mind games. They hurt deeply because of this and loath themselves.
They feel shame a lot and they fear being in touch with this and they fear their true identity and behaviours being exposed. They have no problem doing this to other people and they enjoy this especially in a public place, on social media and in workplace settings.
https://www.quora.com/What-actually-causes-a-narcissist-to-feel-so-shameful
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When is
“Slap A Narcissist”
Day?
:pinkslap:
If I weren’t trying to strictly adhere to my faith, I would advocate for every day.
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I'm not sure, too many holidays. Personally I prefer “beat a narcissist unconscious with a baseball bat” day.
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Today…..and I'm setting it off!
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How do I appeal to a narcissist?
Stop talking. Let them go off on their tangent and just look at them with absolutely no expression. Give them absolutely no feedback. Silence speaks volumes. Stop talking. They are never going to listen to you anyway.
No need to waste your breath, they are all deaf anyway when they are in that moment.
Then get out and leave, this is no way to live. You deserve better.
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Don’t.
Don’t even bother.
Narcissists have no shame and no limits, so you are not in a game with an equal opponent. They’ll stoop down to levels no normal person could even fathom. Trying to play them is just further involving yourself with them and risking them becoming extremely vindictive towards you. Just get away from them, they are very sick people.
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I literally made a “pfft.. Ha! “sound as soon as I read this. Yea, good luck with making a narcissist hear you.
It's possible but you almost have to traumatize them in order for them listen.
Example: (that WON'T work)
“Stop, you're hurting my feelings! “
Example: (that WILL work)
“I'm not dealing with your bullshit temper tantrum.. Bye! “(and leave) *they fear rejection & abandonment, so this will work.*
The problem is that once they see you're not a “functioning appliance”anymore, they will continue devaluation (possibly include violence) & then ultimately discard you once their new primary source is embedded anyway.
So you're dammed if you do, dammed if you don't. So just leave & let them go waste someone else's life. You though, you go be happy.
__________________________
A narcissist will only listen to what they want to hear. If what your saying isn’t what they want to hear, it is tuned out almost immediately.
They create their own version of truth in their mind, and they aren’t about to let anyone destroy that. That would potentially make them wrong, and they can’t be wrong.
So a narcissist will only hear you when you telling them EXACTLY what they want to hear.
Stop talking to them, silence is the only thing they can hear, but even that will take a while to sink in.
___________________________
Think about it.
Why would someone like to argue and deny facts? They want to show you they are better than you. Narcissists have really low self-esteem, even though they overcompensate by displaying abundant confidence. Interactions with others is a game…always.
Where we interact for a variety of reasons, ie gain a mutual understanding, resolve a conflict, build compatibility, narcissists simply want to win at all cost. Winning is their way of propping themselves up and tearing you down. They could say the sky is purple and you could take them by the hand outside and point up and ask them what color they see.
A response might be, “well it was purple a minute ago,” or “that looks purple to me.” With argument they get attention, and any attention will do. Think of it as two lawyers debating in a trial. One lawyer researched the evidence, planned her case, strategized, and articulated the most wonderfully rationalized reasoning for guilt, while the other lawyer made their argument based on emotion and grounded in fantasy after having done a line of cocaine.
You cant win. And if you get angry, upset or even frustrated, she wins the argument, feels good about beating you, and feels better because you lost your mind.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-appeal-to-a-narcissist
-
:popcorn:
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You really need to experience time with a narcissist to really understand the full emotional impact and chaos these type of relationships can effect your emotional health and well being.
What is the Intent of the Narcissist?
@fifilafleur5555
6 months ago
The world is absolutely FULL of these monsters.
@user-qh4qk7kv4u
6 months ago
They really needed to teach this in school… thousands of dollars to a college, with a useless degree. This would've saved me thousands of dollars and years of my time when I was young.
@smustipher
6 months ago
The intent of the narc: wasting your time with their games, getting off on a false sense of power ("He he, I Tricked Them") and being used by the Devil. It's all foolishness and must be avoided at all cost.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn_Vzh0w3qE
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:cycle: Page 27
This is why knowing your worth and staying
connected with yourself is sooo important!
Narcissists Try To Turn You Against Yourself
In this clip, The Little Shaman talks about how pathologically narcissistic people attempt to turn you against yourself and your own best interests.
@billyb4790
2 months ago
Yea they destroy the relationship then expect you to repair it.
@violettetouloumjian2103
1 month ago
It’s a masterpiece, short and clear, these kind of personalities they drain your life energy, they damage and destroy lives but they believe it’s normal. They are the best people walking on the planet, they deserve much much more. Thank you so so much, I am so grateful for your humanitarian job.
@ShawnKHowerton
1 year ago
It’s horrific. Then you have the discard. It leaves you not wanting to be here anymore.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtnVSMXHLSo
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Narcissists are a horrible nightmare. They're always angry because they hate themselves and need to blame others.
What a Narcissist's Anger Really Means & Reveals
@etaokha4164
3 months ago (edited)
I saw them for who they are. Actions spoke louder than words. Narcissist will forever be angry at the world even in death. Nothing can satisfy them.
@carparthero
3 months ago
When you call out a narcissist, remember that the more angry they get, the more they know (and that's your cue) that you're right. The narcissist is also telling you that they don’t know how to resolve/manage conflict.
@deanayer3822
3 months ago
The NARC I live with is angry from the minute they get up till they finally go to sleep - it's the only emotion they have, every other one is somehow converted into anger. Fear is ALWAYS converted into anger and lots of it. Anger is their happiness, when you understand that you understand them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2uttRQx8kc
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They make the mistake of believing that our empathy is our weakness.
5 Ways a Super Empath Destroys a Narcissist
@user-df3eo9qx9p
2 months ago
Narcissists are their own worst enemy. They just don't, and won't get it. A Super Empath will take a stand for what is right and wrong, what is just and fair, will challenge the narcissist's nonsense and will make them sit up and pay attention. Again, they are like toddlers. What they fail to recognize is that they probably had the best partner, children, sister, brother and true-blue friend they ever had. Unfortunately, it's their loss.
@paulkocyla1343
2 months ago
What I noticed in narcissists who used me in the past was that they will try to come back to you to reestablish the "friendship".
They will be charming, complimentary etc. until they see another opportunity to take advantage of you.
My solution was pretending I have no time and loosen communication.
@Michael_Arguello
2 months ago
I like these darker videos. What can I say? Suffering narcissists make me happy. We suffered first. Now it’s their turn to understand real suffering. Perfectly balanced as all things should be.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cGEND9Llhg
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Who the hell do they think they are? is the question.
Why Do Covert Narcissists Have Sh*tty Character?
@lalunar8
5 months ago
Spot on, now I realize that I was with a covert!!! Absolutely no communication was allowed about any issues that hurt me. Anytime I would try to explain what was wrong he would say,,," you lost me"
I would ask him if we could talk about it he would go silent.. I'd try to call him and he would not answer and say he can't speak when he's angry. Meanwhile I was the one disrespected and upset. Unbelievable.
@JoshuaAnzalone-zk5ht
2 months ago
They are the worst gaslighters ever.
@henrytorresvlogs
5 months ago
I took so much disrespect she just got worse and worse.
@Jess-kn8vl
5 months ago
They are good at misleading and confusing you so when you call them out, they can respond with "I never said that."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTQK-eb4jwI
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Sleeping With the Enemy aka Narcissist (Narcissists Creepy Sleep Behaviors)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUD_kyuQA5k
What Never to Do with a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9einaiLWUqo
Only A Super Empath Can Destroy The Narcissist, Here’s How
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEMAz0IA7DA&t=90s
What Happens When You Ignore or Abandon the Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPrxvXiBkDA
The Narcissist Is NOT REAL [RAW]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5C3fozmlAI
Why Narcissists Don’t Have Any “Real” Friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTHKCLNKVh0
Proof a Narcissist Doesn't Have Any Friends at all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op5PuVHIZQw&t=113s
-
Narcissist Cars sliding on Maple Lane after recent snowfall in Big Bear, CA
:tello: "This never gets old. Welcome to my neighbourhood".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jcLEkjeCy4
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@ronaldculley - 3 months ago
I'm hangin' Tuff, standing my ground. I am crippled but I'm not broken. Vids like this keep me centered.
3 Painful Things Every Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Says
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-E4Rx89ZunI
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To a narcissist it's all about image.
They are the great pretenders.
Only Narcissists are Driven By These Things
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
When narcissists are outlawed, Government would shut down.
@Everythingismeaningless344
11 hours ago
Narcissists are like a vampire shark hybrid monster. They must have someone else's energy to suck to survive and they will die if they stop constantly moving. I cannot truly imagine how empty their soul is while simultaneously having a mind that is always in terror of losing something. Truly a depraved way of being.
@klarissam8719
11 hours ago
Narcissists will pretend to help you while seeing you as a burden. They set traps and snares for you, and usually just want to use you for their own personal gain. They'll sabotage your relationships. My narcissist mother and her husband want to interfere with other people's relationships, saying what will and won't happen, when they don't know the hearts or feelings of other people. They love to see you suffer and will partake in it.
@LordDeliverUs
12 hours ago
My narc friend said, "I play dumb real good," which after time, I realized they are just fake, empty, soulless.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaHGx-YTCu8
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"They make you crazy, then blame you for being crazy."
Easily, The Narcissist's Most Maddening
Gaslighting Tactic
Narcissists take great delight in throwing you off course. They perpetuate conflict even as they accuse you of being the problem. Dr. Les Carter clearly identifies the single most exasperating tactic they use, then discusses how to steer clear of their efforts to bring out the worst in you.
@yukio_saito
3 months ago
I walk away from anyone who falsely accuses others of being the problem.
@mariehughey5390
3 months ago
I had trouble identifying gaslighting because it was how I was raised. But once you see and understand, you can’t unsee it.
@visitorcat9153
3 months ago
The narc also knows if you get away from them, and go no contact, you will be able to think more clearly, and recognize their deceitful ways. As long as you maintain contact with them, you stay in a fog-like state of mind.
@alicecoleman5532
3 months ago
Accusations by a narcissist is nothing more than confessions...
@Dosser810
3 months ago
Throwing it back to you, pretending that they don't know what you're talking about, muddying the waters.... classic tactics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwFnRtGfzik
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Not only does the covert narcissist diminish your strengths and successes, they also exaggerate your weaknesses and failures.
Covert Narcissists: The Ultimate Gaslighters
Unlike their grandiose counterparts, covert narcissists are more subdued and subtle in their self-absorbed control. Dr. Les Carter explains that their covert, subtle manner is the perfect cover for gaslighting. He gives multiple illustrations about how they operate in ways to undermine your good plans. But if you are onto their schemes, you can stay out of their games successfully.
@JHixon-bi8ok
1 year ago
Your unhappiness, your self-doubt, your self-blame , your misplaced sense of guilt about the narcissist…..is joy for the narcissist! They enjoy making you miserable.
@judysangregorio2787
3 years ago
Oh yes!!!! They have NO gratitude...and they EXPECT you do continue to be nice to them! They are monsters, and the Board of Education should offer courses in how to recognize gaslighting in grade school!
@DavidGiragosian
3 years ago
There is always an air of contempt from the narcissist as they look down their nose at you.
@AnupmaJ
3 years ago
A typical trait of every narcissist, whether they are covert or grandiose type, is that they will invalidate you, your perception and feelings. They make you feel unheard, unseen, unimportant and even immature. It feels like being in a dark deep hole where no one can hear even if you screamed.
It made me feel very lonely and anytime I tried to reach out to others for help, the narcissist at my workplace who had hacked my phone, contacted my acquaintances and sabotaged my connections by spreading lies and negativity.
I never doubted my feelings and perceptions and never stopped believing that I am human enough to be treated with respect and dignity, that my privacy has to be respected and I am not willing to accept abuse from anyone.
Narcissists are dirty, disgusting, inauspicious entities.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_00zxyGxYo
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When you think of a narcissist...think about a SNAKE!
The Biggest Ways the Covert Narcissist
is Dirty & Sneaky
@tranquility9325
4 months ago
Also there are tons of narcissists on dating sites. One huge red flag is when one of those fools asks you if you rent or own your home. They are trying to get a feel for your finances. Block them immediately. I would strongly advise that you don't deal with anyone from a dating site in the first place. The majority of them are married or in serious relationships.
@jenniferegley9083
4 months ago
They will break, rip, tear up your favorite things. Because of jealousy. My fav dresses, jewelry all somehow had sudden rips, 3 stones taken out of jeweled cross... used to have so many compliments on that pendant. Still have it, trying to fix it still. They are just heartless people.
@hermosotino
4 months ago
I was always paranoid leaving my narc alone in my house while i was at work....when i came back home, i noticed things or paperwork displaced!!
@avgonyma1
4 months ago
They go to see their supply, then take pictures without them and post those on FB - trying to give an impression they are travelling alone.
@kanikaterry7201
4 months ago
Sounds like my sneaky neighbor purposely leaving our shared garage door wide open so when my snow blower got stolen with a chain on it she played dumb like she didn't know anything about it like you said criminal minded people hiding their hands
@jingerhaley5886
3 weeks ago
They are never wrong. Make a podcast about that. I’ve had my share of toxic relationships but a covert narcissist is the absolute worst of them all bc even those other toxic people had some form of taking a step back and seeing their own faults and admitting or having empathy about their own wrongdoing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxOzN5uS500
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“You can't force someone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected.”
When You Go "No Contact" with the Narcissist
@kmduarte2005
1 year ago
Better to be alone than in bad company.
Treat and talk to yourself as you would your dearest friend. Once you begin to love yourself and find your self-worth, you don’t mind being alone because you like the person you’re with.
@jesshearn7234
1 year ago
You will NEVER have anything REAL with a Narcissist. I lived it for 18 years. Always a lie or game being played somewhere. Their behaviors are just UNREAL. Never any resolve or anything that remotely fixes the relationship issues. How can you Trust that? Once you figure them out, you then know who and what you’re dealing with. It’s a great feeling once you realize that and you can live your life in Peace. The key with them from what I’ve learned Is Go NO CONTACT and STAY that way. Relationship with a Narcissist is nothing more than a ClusterF**k and a Rollercoaster of Lies, games and BS. May Peace Bless us all who’ve had to Deal with these Toxic Individuals.
@wisemanoncesaid9498
1 year ago
Key words... "You have to trust who you are with"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tSam3NtV1g
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
I'll see your betrayal and raise you by an ABANDONMENT. Narcs are criminals and must be held accountable.
What Betrayal Trauma Does to the Brain
The Impacts of Partner Betrayal Trauma
@ItsMeHello555
11 months ago
The most difficult part for me, is NOT the loss of trust in others, but in MYSELF. You can no longer trust your ability to see people as they really are.. like you can’t trust yourself to make good decisions or judgements, and it pervades everything.
@tutsybassista
7 months ago
Betrayal is basically: The death of your heart....
@heatherjeftha6132
4 months ago
Betrayal trauma, narcissism. They murder you emotionally.
@bennmom2789
2 weeks ago
Betrayal is the single worst thing anyone can have to go through. It is a feeling you can’t explain unless you’ve felt it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgSNuZlnarc
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From:JH Simon
jhsimon@substack.com
To:Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
Mon, Sep 16 at 2:19 AM
How Narcissists Teach
You To Self-Deprecate
And Self-Censor
Approaching a narcissist brings with it a strange feeling. A sense of unease and tension. You notice defensiveness rising within you. A call for readiness. A need to perform. To prove yourself. To lock horns — or be subdued and devoured.
There is no letting your hair down when in the presence of a narcissist. Their desire to get the upper hand, and their hunger to extract narcissistic supply, will never cease. From the moment they lay eyes on you, until the second you leave, they are locked on and ravenous.
Those who are uninitiated in the art of narcissism are the easiest prey. Such people maintain civility and politeness, believing that when someone speaks to you, you listen. The uninitiated also adhere to the golden rule — treat others as you would like to be treated. So when they meet a narcissist, they assume that they are speaking with someone interested in a fair and mutually-beneficial exchange. Before long, the narcissist has them subservient like good puppy dogs, and is sucking them dry.
The one who is initiated knows better. They will disengage their energy from the interaction, hence putting an immediate halt to the narcissistic supply. If, however, they refuse to back down, then they must prepare for verbal battle.
They need to muscle their way into the conversation, wrestle with the narcissist’s ideas and judgements, and ultimately ‘win’ the exchange. If you bring forth enough emotional resilience and wit, the narcissist will feel themselves being ‘defeated’. Hooray for you.
But what of those who have known a narcissist for years? Who have been subjected to a constant barrage of attack? What is their fate?
The Glass Ceiling Of Worth
To maintain their sense of superiority over others, a narcissist uses various tactics. They might roll their eyes or use condescending stares. Snicker at your perceived weaknesses. Ask rhetorical questions that put you in a negative light, such as “Why did you do your hair like that?”. If you want to contribute to plans, the narcissist wrestles the final decision from you. They will incessantly compare you unfavourably to others to make you feel small. They might also speak about you in the third person while you are there, casting you as the ‘object of concern’.
Such tactics chip away at your self-image and self-esteem. Eventually, you internalise the resulting shame and develop an identity of inferiority, which puts you at an immediate disadvantage in any interaction with the narcissist.
A narcissist will inflate themselves through story, casting themselves as the hero, painting a picture of a life far superior to yours. They shove their superior points of view down your throat and insist on their superior solutions to problems. The narcissist will ensure that you agree with all they say, and cooperate with all they suggest doing. Over and again, you find yourself in a position of inferiority, as shame continues to build.
If you decide to disagree, set boundaries or assert your influence, you will be met with resistance, increased aggression, humiliation or the silent treatment. Needing to fight for every inch in your relationship eventually grows exhausting. The constant battle no longer feels worth it. You fall into line.
With your self-perception corrupted through and through, your behaviours start to shift. As shame builds, and the narcissist’s unforgiving rigidity dominates your life, you feel the need to defuse the unbearable tension through becoming the comic relief.
By pre-empting and reinforcing your inferiority in every interaction, you find the relationship sails more smoothly. You also notice the narcissist grows more pleased and fond of you when you put yourself down.
So you begin to admit embarrassing information about yourself. You fumble in the narcissist’s presence, and question out loud the ‘correctness’ of what you intend to say.
For their part, the narcissist revels in your self-deprecation, piling on the laughter when you explain how stupid you were to forget the salt when shopping.
As the two of you are cooking, and with the narcissist intently watching your every move, the carrot slips from your hand while chopping it and lands on the floor. “God!” says the narcissist, demanding the knife from you. “Here. I’ll do it.”
When it’s time to put the spices in, your mind goes blank, and you refer to the narcissist’s opinion. They gladly confirm with a self-satisfied smirk.
These unconscious attempts to self-deprecate help reinforce the narcissist’s grandiosity while keeping you in your place, and with that, in the narcissist’s good graces.
To Say Or Not To Say
While self-deprecation helps keep the narcissist happy, you find that certain topics and behaviours do the opposite. Your negative emotions, for example, seem to bother the narcissist. If they ask you what’s wrong, and you admit to feeling sad or angry, they may play it down or huff and tell you to get over it.
If you share a success with the narcissist, they may barely react, or will switch the topic to one of their successes instead, taking the wind out of your sail. These countless ‘micro diversions’ aim to keep the narcissist from feeling their own negative emotions while ensuring your needs never interfere with your capacity to provide narcissistic supply.
As a result, you find it necessary to withhold your ‘negativity’ while also being careful not to outshine the narcissist. Self-censoring the various aspects of your authenticity then becomes second nature, as the narcissist will brush them off at best, or grow frustrated and angry at worst.
And with that, you come to belittle or ignore who you truly are, as your entire world revolves around the narcissist’s grandiose false self and its need for narcissistic supply.
Self-Loving And Self-Revealing Your Way To Healing
Through awareness of this poisonous dynamic and its source, you can alter the field, hence allowing your True Self to breathe and thrive.
First, pay attention to the ways you self-deprecate, and try to catch them before acting them out. Your conscious awareness of them will reduce their power over time. Don’t try to one-up the narcissist, or inflate yourself instead. Simply watch the urge to self-deprecate and remain as centred and mindful as you can.
Second, stop hoping the narcissist will create space for your distress or encourage your growth and success. Find allies elsewhere who will see, mirror and support the expression of your authenticity.
As for the narcissist’s tendency to dominate every interaction and suck you dry, you have two options: Disengage and withdraw all emotional investment, or prepare yourself for battle.
-
@ronaldculley
Monday
She won't listen to me. YOU talk to her.
Narcissists are becoming better at hiding -
Here is how you should prepare.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCXADdTxP78
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Narcissists are so foul they can’t even stand themselves.
Why The Narcissist Can't
Sit Still?
@sunnyadams5842
1 year ago
What's so weird about The Narcissist and their energy is that they just grind on and on and on and yet they tend to rarely accomplish much of anything except the creation of chaos and pain in everything they touch.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLPbIJJRwOM
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The narcissist thinks you're the narcissist when their tactics don't work anymore. Their lack of accountability is insane.
THIS Is What
Trauma Bonding
With A Narcissist Does To A Decent Person
@MT-tx7bu
1 year ago
The most difficult part about this trauma bond is how it slowly tears down your self-esteem.
@marcdautricourt4477
6 months ago
Looking at all of these comments I can't believe we don't talk about this more as a society it is real and it really affects people.
@pavla2055
2 years ago
Narcissists have 'won' when we start asking ourselves what is wrong with us. They are exhausting in every way. Grinding you down is exactly what they do.
@mysticmoon8443
1 year ago
This is more validation in 13 minutes than I’ve gotten in 20 years.
A narcissist will make you question everything about yourself and life in general.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tPaTyy1zgM
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With a narcissist you are never on the same team. Even during the best of times they're secretly your rival.
4 Traps Angry Narcissists Pull You Into
The pattern of narcissism guarantees problems with anger. Adding to that, narcissists don't want to take responsibility for their many anger episodes. Dr. Les Carter explains how that is a dangerous combination since it prompts them to lay psychological traps, pulling you into their inner turmoil.
@secondhorizon
9 months ago
Any/every conversation is a trap waiting to be sprung. You either say the wrong thing; don't say the right thing; or, refuse to absorb your punishment silently ~ like a punching bag for their jabs. Its important to realize that all interactions are basically opportunities for them to top-up their fuel supply with: Stimulating anger-adrenalin / or a / Pacifying adulation-buzz. Avoid "The Fray".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTvin_ruIvQ&t=122s
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What is the saddest truth about being the victim of narcissistic abuse?
I think the saddest truth about being the victim - is that the whole experience really changes your view of the world and humanity. Because pretty much all the narcissistic relationships started with a lot of love and hope, and that’s why you are on such a high you couldn’t see the red flags.
But then when you get dropped, ie devalued and discarded, it’s the biggest disbelief of - how can any person behave this way, especially someone I came to value and love? So in my view, the saddest truth is the feeling of having your hope / ‘innocence’ being shattered by the narcissist.
______________________
The loss of innocence.
People can live a lifetime without ever having the experience of heartbreak, deep sadness, sudden betrayal, lack of empathy, fake love, and trauma associated with an attachment to a narcissist.
If it happens, it changes you forever. Many people try to put a positive spin on the change, saying it causes you to grow and love yourself more. I disagree. I have had a life full of cognitive and emotional growth.
I never had a problem loving who I am, what I have accomplished, and how I treated others throughout my tenure here on planet earth. I didn't want or need to experience falling in love with a narcissist to become a better person. I have instead regressed. It has shaken my view of humanity, and my faith in the same.
I knew there was evil in the world.
I just never knew it could be disguised as love.
______________________________
You lose your self identity. Your very foundation of who you are. The confusion and self doubt is overwhelming and the pain devastates you to your soul. See, most people that get into narcissist relationships are very caring and loving people. A lot of times they have very prestigious positions, are nice looking, have money, are very intelligent….something that the narcissist desires to have or be seen with.
You go into the relationship having no clue that you are being set up by a con artist, a psychotic person which in reality despises you. They only want what you have to offer, not you. So they systematically set out to take what they want and dump the human soul that would have gladly given it to them. Leaving you devastated.
As the narcissist first floods you with attention and unbelievable love bombing they are secretly disarming your defenses. Then once in they are like termites chewing away your very foundation, all your boundaries, self worth, love, compassion, career, social standing, family, money, whatever it is they were attracted to you to begin with.
Secretly destroying every emotion and self respect you had. Then without you even knowing it everything collapses. And like the insects they are they move on to destroy someone else’s foundation.
You have been lied to, taken advantage of, gaslighted, humiliated and feel lower than you ever have in your life. You have been through so much cognitive dissonance you question everything, mostly yourself. You blame yourself at the same time the narcissist is blaming you.
You have no idea who you are or have become. You no longer see the loving, successful person you once were. You are deeply traumatized without even knowing it. It takes time and self discovery to realize that the loving, successful person you once were, is still within you.
The good news is that in reality the only thing that changed within you is you now see evil, you have been through Hell and survived. Now you are on a mission, to not only be with and around non-toxic people, but to love and take care of yourself. You now know who you are: a wonderful, caring, sweet soul. Your spirit grows and flourishes like never before.
_________________________________
Ron Culley
Monday
For me, I have 2 schools of thought.
Truant on the first.
The second one is in violation of the Dress Code. Kitty Camo.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-saddest-truth-about-being-the-victim-of-narcissistic-abuse
-
:tanty:
-
One thing I've realized about all of them is they never
shut up about themselves.
Everything YOU Need to Know About GRANDIOSE Narcissists
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Kurt Wadsworth is a G-Narc, aka The Boy With The Golden Butthole. Society deserves better.
@youngblood8540
1 year ago
Nobody gets more upset than a narcissist, who is accused of something they absolutely did.
@yaminiayachitam
1 year ago
Grandiose narcissists are very entertaining to the people who they newly met. It almost feels like unreal, but you see an example, so you think anyone can achieve anything. But when you spend a lot of time with them, you will realize how much they have been using controlling entitled behavior to achieve anything.
@erinward2983
1 year ago
It's scary to wake up and not know what kind of day it will be. In losing your sovereignty, you lose yourself.
@tracyanderson4732
1 year ago
Everything you do in life, from what you wear and how you look to not ever embarrassing your legalistic narcissistic parents, has to make them look good and create the image of the perfect, happy family that has it all together.
@jerseypooh4664
4 months ago
Their rage is horrendous. Like a tidal wave. They come across as great but behind closed doors, wow it’s a different story.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rzFnTvB9AU
-
That man was having some kind of relationship
with that child. That gay hate talk is trying to cover his real ways.
Dylan Rounds: Portrait of Kurt Wadsworth
2,278 views Jul 27, 2022
What is known thus far about Kurt Wadsworth and how does he come across as a person in his interviews? Take a listen.
@MoGumboFukUTubeForChngngMyName
2 years ago (edited)
Let me save you the time… absolutely nothing new here. Just a view grab. And trust me, I just did you a great service vetting this for you… try getting through 10 seconds of this.
@cindyredenius9857
2 years ago
We didn't say he was gay! Lol! But Kurt does like dressing up in woman's clothes!
@cosmicdreamer1387
2 years ago
He’s a sovereign citizens says a lot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1wtqSzstUI
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KURT WADSWORTH -The rest of the Phone Call | Complete Recording Pt 2 | Dylan Rounds case.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDXH65Gsusk
**********************
:tello: "Checkout this noise: KW on Doug Hutton's show, aka Um No Thanks Investigations, circa 2022. This Azzhole completely LIED about me. That story never happened, pure fabrication, deflection and NARCISSISM. I met Brek thru mutual acquaintances in Phelan. Strictly business. It is my pleasure to share this clip here, now.
And F*CK KW!. He ripped me off for a pound of Cush."
https://www.facebook.com/messenger_media?thread_id=100000113300631&attachment_id=767496977706426&message_id=mid.%24cAABa8z4SkoCIdkWtk2CRP__MAkpM
https://www.facebook.com/messenger_media?thread_id=100000113300631&attachment_id=1045522266075129&message_id=mid.%24cAABa8z4SkoCIdkaJqWCRQDSS9Mob
https://www.facebook.com/messenger_media?thread_id=100000113300631&attachment_id=770455681058589&message_id=mid.%24cAABa8z4SkoCIdkcQfmCRQGPGdc9K
:tello: "The only truth in all of this is the correct pronunciation of my name.
Shameless bastard!"
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Can you win against a narcissist?
Yes. Here’s how:
1. Become Unpredictable and Emotionally Closed Off.
Nothing unsettles a narcissist more than not knowing what you’re thinking. They try to predict your actions by reading your voice, your eyes, and your overall vibe. When they can’t figure out what you’re up to, they panic.
They may try to provoke you with questions or by pushing your buttons to reveal your feelings. If you don’t respond or react, they are baffled and surprised.Unpredictability makes them paranoid and impulsive, leading them to make poor decisions. Let them act out with minimal response from you.
By staying unreadable, you let them expose themselves. They might try new mind games or go silent, but whatever they do will backfire and lead to their downfall.
2. Become Your Best and Most Authentic Self.
A narcissist hates to see you happy and thriving. Your success and confidence make them feel like failures and challenge their inflated sense of self. They want you to stay in darkness and despair because it makes them feel superior. Show them that you are not affected by them and that you don’t need them to be happy. Your indifference hits them hard, as it shows you don't care about them, not even enough to hate them. This is a big blow to their ego.
3. Stop Caring and Become Indifferent.
Narcissists cannot tolerate emotional indifference. Your caring nature is what they exploit to get what they want. When you try to hold them accountable or point out their wrongs, they play the victim. They use guilt and shame to manipulate you, making you abandon your own feelings to cater to their needs. Stop caring for someone who preys on your emotions. It’s crucial to stop this cycle and refuse to give them emotional supply.
One reason you stay in a narcissistic relationship is because you cling to hope: hope that they will change, keep their promises, or that things will get better. Even after the relationship ends, you may still hope they’ll return or that things will improve. But this hope is futile.
To move on and win, you need to accept that they won’t change. The only hope you should focus on is your own healing and recovery. Real winning is understanding that the narcissist was never the person you hoped for, and that the good memories were just insignificant moments. Accept the reality and move forward.
____________________________
You can't win against a narcissist, because they don't care, and you do –
it's a rigged playing field.
People who try to “win” against the narcissist, usually do so by trying to attain some form of moral high-ground, demonstrating to the narcissist all that is wrong with them, how bad they have been, etc.
Might as well be reading the narcissist a bedtime story, because while you are trying to show them the wrong of their ways, they are just awe-struck by how boring you have become now wishing you leave them for good and don't return.
You only “win” against the narcissist, by reaching that point of equally not-caring, and most people don't have it in them to reach that point. (After all, narcissists are humans too with at least some potential for good, or at least that is what many insist on believing…)
The point where you realize the narcissist's abuse against you, in a way, was your own allowing. Now your boundaries are stronger, and you no longer entertain these human pests, you have seen the light.
No hard feelings, it all served a purpose – you now have a new world, which they shall never partake in!
And, of course, you must withdraw yourself and engage in these things more interesting than them, where you no longer think, obsess, ruminate over them.
Because even if you do “move on” and do other things, if they continue to live in your mind rent-free, you feel their energy, it just shows they are the best, most interesting thing, you still have in your life. And you don't even have them!!
So where does that leave you?
Right where the narcissist wants you.
______________________________
Envy is the lifeblood of the narcissist; they are forever coveting things that they will never deserve. Along with their envy comes tremendous arrogance — the narcissist believes they should be given whatever they want without working for it.
The way to bear the narcissist is to outwork them by a significant amount. Because they lie so much, their achievements appear greater than they are, so merely working the same as them, or a little more will not do.
When you use your rage at their stupidity, ugliness, selfishness to fuel you, you can overpower them with your tremendous output. Your success hurts their little baby feelings, and scalds them terribly inside. It's not your fault they're a loser —
It's theirs.
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-win-against-a-narcissist?no_redirect=1
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What would make a narcissist
discard you for good?
:buttkick:
A narcissist discards you when they are bored with you, when you have seen the real person under their mask, when you stop giving them tons of attention, adulation, compliments. They will discard you when they find a “ better" source of narcissistic fuel; perhaps “ better “, younger, more naive “model” ( as in a model car, not fashion model).
_____________________________
Because it wasn’t real.
That’s the most difficult part to understand and wrap your head around. They say what they think you want to hear to get your hooked. Making plans for the future is just part of the con to get you to buy into their lies, their world and image where this relationship is destiny, you have found your soulmate, you will never experience this kind of love ever again and all the things they say that come with it.
But the truth is it was never for them, they just need you to believe that. They just needed supply and they don’t care about what it does to you. At that moment they said all these things, it’s what they needed. They will probably tell the next person the exact same things.
TBH, I didn’t know about narcissism until after the discard. And I had the same questions, how could someone who claimed to have found his soulmate, one true love, the person he has been waiting for all his life, change so quickly?
When he left me for another woman I asked him why he wouldn’t give this relationship that he thought was destiny a chance. He replied that he is so broken that he doesn’t know anymore, he might have been misguided at the start etc…
But like you, just the fact how quickly the discard happened and how abrupt he could go on to not caring at all and just moving on with another woman is one of the biggest proofs I have if I ever doubt myself. It was never real. He never had any intention to realise any of this plans. They were things that he thought I wanted at the time, to get me committed.
______________________________
Narcissists will abandon you, by discarding you.
Sooner or later, they will give you that nasty old kick in the rear.
And it's usually unexpected, out of the blue, leaving you awe-stricken, confused, in despair.
Narcissists want to get you to the point, where your biggest fear in life, is to be abandoned by them.
That's their goal.
That's why they work so hard to get you to like them.
That's why they try to create various forms of dependency of you on them.
Only then, do they not feel alone.
Cause if they succeed, if they get you to that point you can't make it without them, they can pull your plug.
By abandoning you when you need them most, you have experienced the pain which they once felt, and they faced the pain alone.
Now that you have experienced their pain, they feel less lonely.
For you now know the pain they once knew.
Their world is now a better place.
Yours, less so.
https://www.quora.com/What-would-make-a-narcissist-discard-you-for-good
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Why do narcissists claim to have such high standards and morals?
FOR ONE, BECAUSE THEY’RE FULL OF S*IT.
And for two, because they’re aware that a (portrayed) good reputation benefits them.
Though narcissists are dumb as f*ck when it comes to emotional intelligence and self awareness, they aren’t cognitively impaired a lot of the time.
Some narcissists are quite intelligent.
They mask morality and practice cognitive empathy (not genuine) if and when it suits their best interests.
Like, just imagine.
If a narcissist presented themself as a Mother Teresa, or as a low life degenerate bum who’s sole mission is to ruin your life, which one would you take?
Yeah…. Nuff said….
If any of us had known we were dealing with an emotionally moronic con artist, we’d have told them to suck a dick a long time ago.
And, the narcissist knows this.
So, they masquerade as something else.
Often times, as someone who has morals and high standards.
In order to get unsuspecting individuals to entertain them.
And that’s it. There’s nothing more to it.
I don’t know what more I can add.
The real deal however, is that the narcissist has no morals or standards.
The opposite is true.
They’re the most treacherous and leachorous entities on God’s green Earth.
____________________________
Because they see everything as black and white good or bad. Winners or losers. Why wouldn’t they make such a claim.
Just because they say it doesn’t mean it’s true.
______________________________
Like every dog that unconsciously wags its tail; like every cat who instinctively stalks small fast moving things; like every bat who has never crashed in the dark, and like every dung beetle as it rolls into a ball when threatened, all of the creatures in the animal kingdom behave in the same way as each other which is according to their species.
Narcissists are more like animals in the soulless sense of the word and narcissistic behaviours and characteristics are not only instinctive to themselves but to each other and their basal, inherent behaviours are programmed into their DNA.
It could stand to reason then that if a person totally lacks the basic tenets of humanity like compassion, empathy and love then there could be an argument as to whether they are really the same type of human at all?
In answer to the question. Why do Narcissists claim to have such high standards and morals?
A Narcissist might portray false characteristics such as having high moral values for the benefit of not just you and your attention but other people in your lives who the narc may attempt to influence against you at some point in the future via a smear campaign for example or potentially plans to recruit said people in your lives as flying monkeys towards your harassment.
Your narc will find it much easier to ruin your reputation in the future and to gain trust and respect from Significant players if said narc is perceived as good, honest, trustworthy and ethical. They mirror you.
Narcissists lie at every available opportunity, even unnecessarily just for the thrill of deceiving.
Narcissists have a gas lighting technique called 'STATING THE OPPOSITE OF THE TRUTH', they're demonic like that.
https://nvsyndrome.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-claim-to-have-such-high-standards-and-morals
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:leadguitar: :duckdance: :beerontap: :drinkwine: :bear: :crayfish:
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How do narcissists destroy their own relationships?
Narcissists don’t understand or comprehend narcissism. They believe they are victims of their partners when the relationship fails. Hence, the partner is always at fault for RUINING everything. In their mind, they provided you with the best thing you could have ever desired in life - themselves. Their own grandiosity confirms this to be true.
Imagine you, as the narcissist, believe you are the prettiest or funniest or most elegant or most desired or most complete or smartest person. You intrinsically know your partner never has and never will experience someone like you in their entire lives. There is real power, specialness, and confidence in this narcissistic core belief.
So, the narcissist is bestowing themselves upon the flawed partner. The narcissist is the ‘answer’ to the partner’s prayers. They ‘lowered’ themselves much like a benevolent teacher putting up with a less informed student or royalty mixing with their subjects.
The narcissist is ‘accepting’ the partner because the partner has certain assets - attention, love, money, a home, status, influence, and social connections. In the narcissist’s mind, they are exhibiting a form of goodwill to allow the partner into their orbit.
The narcissist believes this is a fair deal. Any concern from the partner that the narcissist is taking advantage of the relationship is a complete insult. Often, a narcissist will be rageful at the idea of being perceived as a user or an opportunist. To them, their partner is gaining as much as the narcissist in this relationship.
You can see the lack of object constancy makes it impossible for the narcissist to have any empathy for anyone but for themselves. They cannot perceive anyone, much less their own partner, would expect them to care more for their partner than themselves.
Hence, it’s not wrong or unfair for a narcissist to discard a partner for not living up to their idealistic expectations.
If the partner gets sick, unemployed, older, or loses status, it's grounds for moving on without a shred of guilt or shame. This is why narcissists don’t attach to or love their partners. They are mentally incapable of connection to any person or object. Instead, you are only a source of supply (a benefit to their life - until one day, you are not).
_______________________________
They bring their abuse too far where, particularly the scapegoat says NO MORE! and leaves for good. I know this from personal experience.
My father was her first scapegoat and after years of her lies, projection and stupidness he ended up taking over one room in the house where he spent the majority of his free time.
When he died and I became the scapegoat, I was constantly lied about to my siblings, so they turned on me. She accessed me of being an international drug mule (I never did drugs or moved drugs anywhere) but she decided that was what I was doing . It's so rediculous it shows how crazy she was. Then I asked her for help when I was having a serious mental breakdown and she said she would help me and within 24 hours, she had stabbed me in the back and set the flying monkeys on me. With a vengeance. That was the time I walked away for good.
She obviously expected me to come back, but I didn't. Two years later I got a message from my younger brother and chief flying monkey, he was relegated to scapegoat and realised how disgusting she really was and although I don't know the outcome he came crying to me about her treatment and lies about him, but I wasn't interested after how he abused me emotionally also.
Anyone can be a target of the Narc as they will use and abuse anyone who gets close to them, often covertly so the person doesn't even realise the abuse.
So they consistently sabotage themselves in relationships and then wonder why family/friends remove themselves permanently.
_____________________________
Let me explain to you in steps:
Each human being has a choice - be bad or be good. The more you harm other humans, the worse you will become.
The dark spiritual world will take that as an opening to start feeding you information.
Slowly you will become a narcissist.
A narcissist is known to live a miserable life despite the perfect facade they imagine.
How many victims are destroyed and/or damaged throughout the life of a narcissist?
I hope you now understand this better.
___________________________
By being despicable human beings.
By being crap partners.
By trying to be in control of everything and lying about everything.
By accusing their partner of doing to them what they are doing you.
By getting bored, then sleeping with everything that walks. By walking around as if they are better than everybody else.
____________________________
Narcissists don’t do relationships.
You are assuming that they actually are able to connect and care about someone else. They can fake it, but they don’t feel it.
When the fake relationship is over, the victim, target or Supply believes they actually had a real bond or something meaningful. I am sorry to report that this is nothing but the result of having believed in a lie, and the trauma bond is the actual bond here. While the victim’s feelings may be genuine, they felt love for an empty soul that didn’t even exist.
It’s a joke. That’s how you have to look at it. Yes, it’s terrible when you look back at all the time wasted, finances, the trauma, but these people are a joke. They have no depth, nothing of value to offer anyone. Really. NOTHING at all. Except for a lot of pain and suffering.
What they destroy is themselves. They are worthless.
Case closed. :judge:
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-destroy-their-own-relationships
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What will enrage a narcissist
beyond all else?
Repeatedly playing a song over and over again, where at first they like it, then overtime they get annoyed by it. Then overtime they never want to hear it ever again.
And overtime, they get so annoyed they will yell at you for playing it. And after a time, they will grab your device and break it.
And they will get so mad, they will beat the sh!t out of you.
Narcissist hate repetitive things when they are not in control of them.
___________________________
Tell them they’re wrong about something (doesn’t matter what) and provide proof of how and why they’re wrong. Do it in front of other people, especially in front of someone he/she wants to impress.
Then run like hell.
____________________________
Doing everything they say NOT to do and acting like you don’t care about what they need or want.
Acting confident.
Acting like you don’t need them.
Acting like they’re so insignificant you can ignore them and be happy without them if you’re not even thinking about them.
My favorite meme is “I’m competitive. Ignore me and I’ll show you I can do it better.”
THAT. And the thing that will annoy them most of ALL is that you stop acting that way and you mean it.
Success really is the best revenge.
_______________________________
They are in a constant state of “getting what's coming to them”. They are paranoid, lonely, angry, sad, pathetic creatures that cannot have healthy relationships with anyone.
Trust me.... they suffer.
Let them.
Remove the supply and the beast dies.
https://www.quora.com/What-will-enrage-a-narcissist-beyond-all-else
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:devil: :mobbing: :2guns: :neener:
:notsmee:
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LOOK ... That's just freakin' NUTS!
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Confront a narcissist about what they did wrong
and watch them make it about you.
The Cruelest Form of
Gaslighting
@PoodlesMcNoodles
1 year ago
Yes! “No one will believe you” is totally reinforced by the “Justice” system when you report your abuse and the judge finds the narcissist not guilty. Mind F*ck for sure!
@LTZ_Z71
1 year ago
The cruelest form of gaslighting to me is being told "I love you" yet their actions NEVER match the words.
@holistichoneybee87
5 months ago
The worst is when you start to feel like you are the narcissist.
@karenspafard8841
1 year ago
I think the gaslighting phrase, "Nobody cares" is even more cruel.
@delicate.mascara
1 year ago
"He/she has always been nice to me" is, in a nutshell, why so many abuse victims never come forward.
@alicefreist318
5 months ago
It's so creepy. They'll even SEE the abuse with their own eyes, and say "but s/he was never like that to me!", right up until the day the narcissist turns on them, too. THEN, all of a sudden, they are so shocked at the narcissist's behavior.
@troymccullagh
5 months ago
When a narcissist tells you and others that you are a narcissist. When someone is abusing and disrespecting you and says that you are the one abusing and disrespecting them!!!
@lucyszoocrew6037
5 months ago
That one makes me crazy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uv2hGHb7rLk
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Adults who bully are the most cowardice people on the planet. Instead of having healthy conversations that value everyone, the malignant narcissist is so insecure they have to get others to focus on you and your vulnerabilities to redirect the attention on to them being superior. It takes a lot of practice to have indifference towards these toxic people. Keep healing survivors.
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Staying in touch with narcissists always comes with a price. You pay the price by losing time, efforts, and energy and losing your physical and mental health. You lose everything by being in touch with narcissists.
If you want to live a peaceful and happy life, then you have to ignore narcissistic mind games. If you remove narcissists out of your life, then it would be much better.
Ignoring narcissists forever is the best thing you can do for yourself. It's your first step towards self-care and self-love. Make sure you keep ignoring narcissistic people in the future. Life becomes easier when you remove toxic people from your life.
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Do narcissists stop being
a narcissist with the new supply?
A ‘proper’ narcissist never stops. Some people will tolerate the narcissist’s behaviour for longer, maybe that’s why they last longer. The long-suffering wife, the mother of his children etc. All that happens with a new supply is the same thing that happened with you. Love bombing and the emotionally crippling devaluation. They don’t ever stop. If they do ‘stop,’ then they aren’t a narcissist.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-stop-being-a-narcissist-with-the-new-supply
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:wtf:
-
.
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Double Slam: I sue the landlord
for failure to provide heat,
and the Narcissist
goes down.
:yess:
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Why do narcissists want to destroy you?
Because they want to BE you. You are authentic while they have to pretend and it’s exhausting for them. Every interaction they have is fake. All of their manipulations take planning, and they must pretend to like people they actual hate to pull off their character assassinations of you. A secret a lot of people don’t know is this brings them a great deal of anxiety as they aim to control the perceptions of all of these people all the time.
Meanwhile, there you are. How dare you be so sweet and happy while they are secretly miserable. And your level of talent, OMG that really revs up their envy. I’ll bet you dared to have a really good job as well. And if you’re better looking than they are - well that’s just the ultimate sin. Now you really deserve to be taken down.
If a narc is destroying your life, it’s a compliment. It means the narc feels entitled to your life. If only they had this or that instead of you then THEY would be the BEST. They are the miserable wicked witch, who, if only she could get rid of Snow White, she would be the most beautiful.
That’s what you’re dealing with. It’s a painful ride but if you stick around, you’ll get plenty of practice because their obsession with getting rid of you will never cease. My narc siblings have been relentlessly slandering me for about 5 decades and, ironically, I was estranged. They are so jealous; they slander me in my absence.
Why? Their obsessive mission is to trade places with you in the minds of others by stealing your reputation while pretending to have your authentic traits. I believe the reason they call us crazy is because they know they are insane.
___________________________
They are shameless and have zero decency. Especially with their OWN children.
They have little self control.
They easily blow up like a volcano over the slightest of things.
They envy normal human beings because they know they live at a much lower level than us. Lower level as in possibility of experiencing happiness.
The narcissist is always about self gain. Don’t dare come in the way or you will be easily wiped off planet Earth.
Narcissists love money. They don’t like to divorce but prefer the partner eliminated to get everything themselves.
If you are the scapegoat, watch out. You are a constant threat to the narcissist.
_________________________
I asked myself the very same question. What kind of person would purposely set out to destroy someone's life?
Why or what are they gaining from it?
Why me?
I accept they are evil, cold hatred and all of that. But I still ask myself why. Eventually I had to accept that I will never truly understand why. How can someone be so ruthless with no limits or feelings? As soon as I accepted that I am everything they are not, gave myself some self-love and closed that chapter of my life behind me, that I could grow again.
______________________________
Because they know they are trash people who cannot become anything better, and they carry a lot of hostility and hold grudges for a lifetime; and so, what better way to get back at the world than to destroy an innocent person who loves them?
Think about it, they want to destroy an innocent person, who also loves them.
That trauma bond they give you is the equivalent of what they want to do to themselves, but they are too cowardly.
Instead of destroying themselves, they intend to destroy you.
Trash. I mean, who does that? Only someone who is pure trash.
____________________________
Why? because they are a malignant narcissist. They are like a malignant cancer that thrives on power and control over you. They hate you because you woke the f*ck up. You are the enemy.
They dragged you along like a selfless, broken rag doll…..letting you lick the crumbs off the plate from the meal you made for and served them.
Refusing to do anything with you or for you because it’s all about them and their wants and their needs and it took you awhile to finally notice but yes it worked for them for quite awhile.
You were the only one who needed to fix the one sided abusive relationship. They got off the hook by bullying you, demanding, threatening you, giving ultimatums, putting you down and making you lose your damn mind.
They enjoyed treating you like a criminal and a slave because you are insane, crazy, a loser and nobody likes you. So you deserve to be objectified, punished, abused, ostracized, cheated on and lied to.
There is no empathy for you so if you’re suffering… too bad it’s your own fault…you did this to yourself …because you should have done….XYZ ….but didn’t.
Since you are worthless trash that can’t be manipulated any longer they hate you and want to hurt you. So you either go along with their lies bullshit and abuse or you will be destroyed.
There is no middle ground or compromise. Everything is in extremes. So things are either black or white, good or bad, win or lose, love (idealize) or hate.
This is from someone who is vindictive and cruel and gets away with it because you have empathy and love for them that they take and use to manipulate you. They will try to turn your family, friends and children against you and you won’t even realize wtf is going on until it’s too late and you look and feel crazy.
This type of person is very sick and will not stop even after they destroy you. They want to hurt you and believe you deserve it and someone ought to just put them down. They already did enough so as long as they can get away with it they will not stop and one day it will go too far.
___________________________
Break you?
This answer might terrify you…..
Pathological Narcissists, or narcopaths, have chronically low self esteem as their authentic self, the toxic monster who lies within and we affectionately call Mr Hyde. They engage in a parasitic relationship with their host (their partner) in order to fuel their false selves, the charming Dr Jekyll that everyone admires. They are called emotional vampires for a reason – they are on a mission to suck you dry of your confidence, your self-esteem and your very identity.
Most folks, even the more toxic, would leave you with at least a little gas in the tank that allowed you to get on with the rest of your life post-discard – but not so the narcopath, many of whom will seek to destroy their discarded partner – literally.
Many survivors will testify to the fact that their ex was intent on pushing them over the edge and into suicide – sadly many are not around today to tell the stories of where their narcopath succeeded. (If you know anybody who did indeed commit suicide, you might care to think about the circumstances more analytically).
Why would a Narc push you into Suicide?
There are six principle reasons:
Greed - Because in many cases of married partners, the surviving narc gets to keep all of the assets of the couple in the case of the demise of their spouse.
Need for Sympathy - Because they dine out on the sympathy they are able to generate as part of their own victim narrative after “their tragic loss”.
Fear - Because they are terrified that their ex is going to work out the abuse and spill the beans. With your suicide, they get to silence and bury the potential whistleblower, the victim and witness to the maltreatment inflicted over the months, years and, in many instances, decades of narcissistic abuse.
Pleasure - Because it gives the surviving narc a sadistic sense of pleasure – they secretly revel in their omnipotence as pushing a partner into making the ultimate sacrifice is an unparalleled accolade to their power, to their Machiavellianism, and to their ability to get away with murder - literally.
Control - especially in the case of kids-in-common, they will do all they can to alienate the kids from the healthy parent in order that they can command their loyalty, and obedience, without challenge. Even without kids, your demise and silence allows them to control the narrative of what supposedly happened throughout the relationship and the events of the break-up with their lies going without dispute.
Excuse - Because with their ex out of the way, the way is now clear for them to approach and derive other sources of narcissistic supply – what could have been construed as inappropriate, maybe even with suspicions of an affair coming so close on the heels of your split (and therefore not reflecting well on the narc), is now portrayed as the “comfort” that they so deserve in their “moment of intense tragedy”.
How do they do it?
Quite simply, the narc will break their victims by systematically dismantling anything and everything that their victims will use as their own sources of pride, decency, identity – and support. Look particularly at way the narc will seek to destroy a victim’s relationship with their own family; their friendships; the relationship with their own children; their home; their role as a partner; their career; their hobbies; their sports; their looks; their cars; their health; or other physical embodiments of self.
And last, and in many respects most importantly, their very sense of sanity.
Surviving a narcopath’s mission to break and/or destroy you is no mean feat. I salute you – ring that bell and give yourself an upvote below. If you still feel broken and are looking for inspiration to rebuild and understand, please follow me and flag “Notify me” to receive notifications of new articles. And if you want to send your narc and all the others a big “F*ck You”, kick them where it hurts by sharing this answer widely.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-want-to-destroy-you
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You will get to a space where you decide to love yourself again.
This will make the narcissist lose their sh!t. I currently am in a fight for my home and my child. But I don’t care anymore. I finally understand that the narcissist fears me more than I fear him.
Simply because of the TRUTH. He wants to make me suffer for knowing him. But I stand strong and say I am mom and you won’t change this fact. He has no facts on me except to put me down.
Claim your independence and love yourself. The pain gets smaller and more manageable. I think I had to get to this place where I was willing to lose everything outside of my children. And now I know he is going to hurt me because I said it’s not that hard to discuss kids.
I was so scared for so long. Once you beat the fear...it’s easy and you will be so thankful you got out. You will be thinking about all the people who loved you.
Keep healing survivors.
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Do narcissists say hurtful things then get mad if it upsets you?
Yes, narcissists often say hurtful things and then get angry when you show that you're upset. This behavior is a way for them to maintain control and manipulate emotions. Here are some examples from different situations to illustrate how and why they do this:
1. In Romantic Relationships
How: A narcissistic partner might make a hurtful comment about your appearance or achievements, like saying, "You really should try harder at the gym," or "It’s not like your job is that important anyway."
When: This often happens when they feel threatened or insecure, like if you're getting attention from others or achieving success they envy.
Why: By undermining your self-esteem, they keep you dependent on their approval. When you express hurt, they might accuse you of being "too sensitive" or "overreacting," turning the situation around to make you feel guilty.
Example: You get a promotion at work and share the news with your partner. Instead of congratulating you, they say, "It’s not like you're the boss now." If you show that this comment hurt you, they might respond with, "Oh, so now you can't take a joke?"
2. In Friendships
How: A narcissistic friend might make a cutting remark disguised as a joke, such as, "You're still single? I guess some people just aren't meant to find someone."
When: This might happen in a social setting where they want to make themselves look better by putting you down.
Why: They aim to elevate themselves by making you feel inferior. If you react negatively, they get mad and say, "You’re being dramatic, it was just a joke," flipping the situation to make you feel like you're the problem.
Example: You join a group conversation where everyone is discussing their relationships. The narcissistic friend makes a comment about your single status. When you confront them later about how it hurt you, they might lash out with, "Wow, can't you take a joke? You're always so touchy."
3. In the Workplace
How: A narcissistic coworker or boss might say something demeaning in front of others, like, "I guess we can't all be experts at this," after you've made a minor mistake.
When: They often do this to undermine you, especially if they see you as competition or if they're feeling insecure about their own performance.
Why: By making you feel incompetent, they position themselves as superior. If you express that their comment was inappropriate, they might accuse you of not being able to handle criticism, further diminishing your confidence.
Example: During a team meeting, your boss points out a small error you made and says, "We need people who pay more attention to detail." When you later mention that the comment was hurtful, they might respond with, "If you can’t handle feedback, this might not be the right job for you."
4. In Family Dynamics
How: A narcissistic parent might make a hurtful comment like, "I’m not surprised you didn’t get the job; you’ve never been good at interviews."
When: This can happen during a moment when you're already feeling vulnerable or seeking support.
Why: They use these moments to reinforce their dominance and keep you feeling small and dependent. If you show that you're hurt, they might become angry and accuse you of being ungrateful or overly sensitive.
Example: After a job interview, you tell your parent that you didn’t get the position. They respond with, "Well, you never were the confident type." If you express that this was a hurtful thing to say, they might retort, "I’m just being honest; you need to toughen up."
5. In Social Circles
How: A narcissistic acquaintance might make a backhanded compliment like, "You look great today! I almost didn't recognize you," implying that you don't usually look good.
When: This typically happens in group settings where they want to seem witty or superior at your expense.
Why: They seek to boost their own ego by putting others down subtly. If you indicate that their comment was hurtful, they might get defensive and say, "Wow, can't you take a compliment?"
Example: At a party, they make a comment about your appearance in front of others. If you later tell them that their remark was hurtful, they might react with, "I was just joking; you're so sensitive about everything."
Why Narcissists Behave This Way
Control: By making hurtful remarks and then getting angry when you react, narcissists maintain control over the emotional dynamic. It keeps you off-balance and unsure of how to respond.
Projection: They project their own insecurities onto others. When you show that you're hurt, it triggers their own feelings of vulnerability, which they quickly mask with anger or blame-shifting.
Avoiding Responsibility: They deflect responsibility for their behavior by making you feel like you're the one with the problem, ensuring that they remain in the "right."
In summary, narcissists use hurtful comments as a tool to control and manipulate others. When you show that you’re upset, they get mad because it threatens their self-image and exposes their insecurities. Understanding this pattern can help you protect yourself and set healthy boundaries.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Do-narcissists-say-hurtful-things-then-get-mad-if-it-upsets-you
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The more we talk about narcissistic abuse the more we “normalize” it as a real abuse that occurs in the relational space. Survivors just don’t get over it. They have to process what happened in the relationship because they were vulnerable and taken advantage of. We must learn to carry it , live with it and make it smaller so we can manage the pain and live a better life. All of this takes time. I don’t know what I would do if I was alone. Survivors you are not crazy and you are not alone. Keep learning.
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When we are happy, they are sad,
and we are sad they are happy.
How the Devil’s Minions aka
Narcissists Try to Break You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXNtZMMt1Pg
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NEWS NARCS
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Will a narcissist admit to their wrong behavior, but try to justify it?
Most importantly, narcissists never admit their wrong doings. If narcissists admit their faults, then they have reasons ready to cover up their faults, or they have hidden motives to show they have a big heart to admit mistakes.
Narcissists will never allow anyone to look at them negatively. For narcissists, being correct is more important than any relationship. Even if narcissists know they have done something wrong, they aren't going to admit it because they feel shame. Another problem is ego; for narcissists, admitting mistakes is surrendering.
If you catch a narcissist making mistakes, then they will blame you, someone else, or circumstances. Narcissists don't learn because they haven't learned to admit their mistakes; they have never learned to fix things. Narcissists only find ways to escape accountability and responsibility.
The truth is, if you catch a narcissist doing wrong, they will make you pay for pointing at them.
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I think they can reflect. But I don’t think they can admit that they reflect, nor can they change their behavior. You can be crystal clear that you are abusive but not have the capability to stop yourself from doing it.
That’s part of the disorder. It’s like a drug addict. They know they are addicts but they can’t stop the addiction. I believe the same with narcs. They know and can reflect on their behavior but they can’t stop it and they will defend it.
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Absolutely not.
For a narcissist to be able to reflect at all, they would need to look inward for answers. A narcissist is more like a toddler throwing a tantrum when they do something wrong.
Have you ever seen a toddler look inward?
I think not.
Narcissists are emotionally stunted from a young age. So when they mess up and you hold them accountable, that’s when that 3 year old will emerge, thus you’ll start to see their tantrums.
Now, if a narcissist gives off the idea somehow that they see the error of their ways, don’t believe it. It’s an act. Narcissists are the great pretenders of this world so if they think by playing the role of “Mr./Mrs. I’m sorry for being an anatomical conundrum” will benefit them in some way, they’ll give an Oscar worthy performance that will leave you speechless.
But don’t believe them. As soon as they got you hooked again they will go back to their old abusive ways.
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From my past experience I don’t think mine ever admitted that he did anything wrong. He was actually arrested and in prison and still blamed it on everyone but himself. It’s always the other persons fault never theirs, they think they are above doing anything wrong.
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I believe a narcissist does not reflect. Therefore, I believe he or she would not either privately or publicly admit fault.
By virtue of his inclination to be a repeat offender, I believe it is clear the narcissist does not process feelings of either regret or contrition upon his emotionally wounding underserving others.
The narcissist sees the world through a narcissistic lens. Consequently, I believe the narcissist is inspired to live in a manner akin to how a tiger shark does..
I Believe The Narcissist Lives Like a Predacious Tiger Shark in Perpetual Pursuit of its Next Feed.
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They will admit to something if you can back them into a corner. They will try to blame somebody else or circumstances. They will admit to something to shut you up but not really take or feel responsible for it.
Taking the blame is just something they cannot do without the possibility of falling into a pit of self hating. If they admit to being flawed they will fall into being all flawed, they do not go there.
https://npdabusehealing.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-admit-to-the-wrong-behavior-but-try-to-justify-it
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Is it possible that a narcissist confides in you and reveal how sad or unhappy he is?
Yes, narcissists go in depressions and vent about it to sources but it’s only for pity. Also the ‘depression’ can be repaired in seconds with the right attention.
Sadly narcissists are mentally ill, so it’s just more manipulation and the focus is themselves.
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No. A narcissist will never confide in you about anything real or genuine. They’re too guarded, mistrustful, and paranoid. They not only don’t trust you, but they don’t even like you. You’re their greatest enemy, so they’d never confide anything to you.
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That would never happen. It is a total denial of who and what they are. They are perfect, and are never wrong, you know. Also, why should they confide in you, their current victim?
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Narcissists don’t know they’re narcissists. They believe they are wonderful people being unjustifiably victimized by a cruel world. For that reason, it’s not uncommon for a narcissist to seek advice and guidance for their depression from a professional or someone they value.
When they do, they can really unveil their fears. They can talk about some pretty deep things, like being afraid of criticism, feeling paranoid, having low self-esteem, abusing substances, wanting to be loved and understood, etc.
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When they do that they are lying. Any bad thing that’s happened to them is all done by them to others. Narcissists always come over as a victim so that you’ll jump in and help them. They’ll lovebomb you then you are hooked. If you know someone to be a narcissist, walk away and stop asking questions about a person you know to be one!
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You learn fairly soon that they don't tell the truth.
Like, hardly ever.
And what that means is, you never know whether or not to believe them. For the sake of your own sanity you have to assume that they're always lying.
And their b!tch asses will totally freak the f*ck out over you not believing them. The one time that they're actually not lying, and they will hold that sh!t over your head forever.
Unfortunately I'm going to have to say to say he's just trying to guilt you into something if he says anything like that. They can't go deep. They can't really feel anything positive or be authentic in any kind of way.
It's all just a manipulation sh!t show wrapped up in a ball of crazy.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-that-a-narcissist-confides-in-you-and-reveal-how-sad-or-unhappy-he-is-or-would-that-be-too-risky-for-his-image-or-reputation
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:bigcalibre: :judge: :sniper:
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It seems like more and more folks are labeling their exes as narcissistic. How are the misdiagnoses of NPD contributing to the detriment of others?
1 in 18 people are completely diagnosable for narcissism.
That means if a movie theater has 200 seats, and this is the big opening weekend for a sold out movie showing, 11 dipshits in that theater actually are narcissists.
Let’s say that movie theater has 15 screens.
There are potentially 165 people in the entire building who are diagnosable candidates for legitimate NPD.
Yes, that is an entire movie theater full of them.
Lets think about it a different way:
You live in… Phoenix, Arizona, USA which has about 4.5 million residents including the suburb areas and stuff. There’s a lot of drugs that come through that area, and a lot of people from other places who move there to save money. There’s a lot of people who retire in Arizona because it’s cheap, and there are a lot of child abuse cases along with human trafficking, there’s a lot of military and ex military, too… so they’re above average for their NPD population. Instead of 1 in 18, they’re more like 1 in 15.
Ok, so 4.5 million would mean there’s 300,000 actually diagnosable NPDs in that entire city.
There is enough of them that they would have the population amount to create their own city somewhere else.
300,000 NPDs in just one city.
But the kicker is, if you take the total amount of narcs in all Arizona cities— a count for the actual state (the frequency is higher the further south you go, typically, so Tucson is petty intense), there are more NPDs in the state of Arizona greater than the entire population of Delaware.
But that’s just Arizona. What about the larger cities? New York? Orlando, Houston? — there are more diagnosable NPDs than people who were born in Sweden.
Yes, you read that right. That’s not even excluding the number of NPDs in the Swedish population. Just everyone living in Sweden, there are more NPDs in the US. The US isn’t even the highest prevalent.
Jamaica for example. Their statistics are counted differently, but it’s about one in every household.
Canada? You guys have your share of narcs too, but you’re getting the idea.
Russia? … oh my goodness.
So to answer your question, so many people accuse people of being narcissists because they might actually be right— there’s that many. The cluster B statistics are amazing.
Think of this example:
In every child classroom in the US, the average classroom size is usually 24–30 kids.
Alright.
2 of those kids will have BPD, there’s going to be 1 or maybe 2 kids with NPD, and yes, 1 of your students is a sociopath.
But since most cluster B tends to be the result of abuse… 6 kids in your class have been sexually abused, 8 of those kids have been abused physically, mentally, or psychologically by their own parents.. and this is all going on while you teach them.
I only pointed out 5 of your students will be on the cluster B train, there’s about 4 other students who might be okay and become little narcs themselves next year. Or maybe you’re lucky and the population is lower, you maybe only have 4 cluster b students… it’s only because these students have multiple cluster b disorders, not that you have a healthier class.
so…
Yes, the massive amount of accusations might be accurate. Almost all narcs don’t know they’re narcs. And you hear it everywhere because narcs are everywhere, yep, it’s that high.
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Because it’s the BEHAVIOR that makes them a narcissist.
You don’t really think that getting stamped NPD by a therapist is the only way a narcissist can exist, do you?
I spent years having to be around a guy who was married to my sister. His behavior was textbook NPD.
He was NOT diagnosed.
How can a person exhibit years worth of these behaviors without the therapist approval?
Because hundreds if not thousands of examples of the BEHAVIORS over the years trumps whatever a therapist, who is getting played by the narcissist, successfully or not, decides to label it after sessions in an environment unlike real life interactions. Here, the narcissist knows he is being looked into. So he does what narcissists do, and tries to “win” the session.
This strategy works fairly often because therapists are human.
Or worse, incompetent.
One told my sister to “stop pushing his buttons” regarding her husband who had choked her out and made her sit in the basement for days.
Eventually, this clown of a husband WAS diagnosed NPD after seeing another therapist for PTSD.
Any idea how that happened?
He observed the f*cking behaviors and thought process.
https://www.quora.com/It-seems-like-more-and-more-folks-are-labeling-their-exes-as-narcissistic-How-are-the-misdiagnoses-of-NPD-contributing-to-the-detriment-of-others
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“Why do narcissists become hostile and accuses you of being argumentative when you try to express your yourself?”
They truly perceive your free expression as an act of war against their sovereignty.
There can only be one source of truth in their world-them.
We are mere props on their stage, meant to enhance them, to adore them, to agree with them, to worship them.
Any show of resistance to their delusional narrative is a threat to their Empire, and they will fight.
What we consider the normal course of conversation, they consider a hostile act. There is no point in trying to reason it out. It will never make sense.
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He didn’t like anyone expressing themselves, especially if that expression went against what he thought or did. (He didn’t get hostile…at least not in front of anyone except his partner. He was far too careful for that).
He was the all wise, all knowing one.
Everyone else was supposed to sit back, shut up, and enjoy his ride.
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Narcissists live by a false narrative wherein they view themselves as:
Highly entitled.
Victims, mistreated and misunderstood by others.
Not to blame for anything.
Narcissist suffer from psychological difficulties, such as splitting, which causes them to perceive people, including themselves, as either “all good,” or “all bad,” as opposed to in an integrated way, as having both good and bad qualities.
To protect themselves from seeing themselves in a negative way, narcissists develop an entitled, arrogant personality, a “narcissistic personality,” which is the essence of their disorder.
Because they’re not really highly entitled, nor victims, nor flawless, the world constantly bombards them with evidence to the contrary, which causes them a great deal of cognitive dissonance, which is very unpleasant. To counteract this, narcissists manipulate others to reaffirm their narrative, which is the essence of narcissistic supply.
Narcissists don’t necessarily become hostile and argumentative when you express yourself, but if that expression doesn’t reaffirm their narrative, then they will react negatively, and the reason will not be because you are expressing yourself, but because you are causing them cognitive dissonance.
The only way to get along with a narcissist, and even this will only work with limited success for a time, is to do exactly what they want you to do. This is the result of dealing with someone who views themselves as highly entitled.
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It's all just manipulative tactics used by a Narcissist to put seeds of doubt into your brain.
Once you start having arguments with a Narcissist, your relationship is basically over.
The second you start disapproving of something the Narcissist said or did- they immediately begin devaluing you.
My ex would do this every time I brought up something that concerned me.
He'd say, “okay, that's it, I'm done.”
Which- is now such a huge red flag of a Narcissist to me.
Narcissists can't handle being called out. AT ALL.
A “normal” man or woman- can talk through problems rationally.
When they care about you, and truly love you- they'll listen to your concerns, and be able to say, “okay hun. Wow, I'm sorry I hurt you. What can we do together so that this won't happen again?”
Narcissist's just threaten to end the relationship immediately because they KNOW you love them.
But they don't love YOU. So if you two WERE going to break up- it's no big deal to them- because they ALREADY are seeing at least 1 other person behind your back.
That's why they can say they'll leave so flagrantly.
Because they have nothing to lose.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-say-you-re-always-arguing-if-you-question-something
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What is so dangerous about a narcissist?
In A Nutshell—Being With A Narcissist, Is Like Hitching Your Wagon To The Devil’s Horse. YOU Are IN For A Wild Ride.
Jump off that Untrained Horse before it's too late—It's better to have a few broken bones, that will heal in time, than staying on this Wild Ride that will NEVER Slow Down—YOU Will End Up DEAD.
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My answer is going to touch upon a different level of philosophical and moral concerns, not just the common answer that “narcissists destroy your life.” We already know they do.
So to begin with, the narcissistic personality will ruin your life, or come very close to it.
Unfortunately, our planet is a cold and cruel place that seems to reward people according to how they present themselves instead of seeking true value. We know that narcissists or psychopaths are always acting charming and "funny" to begin with. So if you utilise a mask and are a fake narcissistic person, you are able to garner lots of rewards.
There are also people who, for some evil reason, keep running only into such fake and immoral narcissists and psychopaths, and this can literally soul-kill a person, especially empaths. Empaths are said to be quite rare and yet many of them are targets or victims of dangerous narcissists and psychopaths. (I will use the term narcissist throughout this post for brevity’s sake.)
INFJ's are also often targets of narcissists. I am an INFJ/highly sensitive and have had run ins with more than a few narcissists, both male and female. What we mean by highly sensitive or empathic, is that such people have not only a high level of empathy, but they are often uncorrupted to begin with.
These are people who have a natural sense of wonder and may be quite creative. They may be bookworms, artists, musicians, people who love poetry, those who are in love with beauty in a world that is cruel and ugly. They are easy marks for nasty and low-minded narcissists, not because they are weak, but because they are exceptional. Most victims of narcissists are kind, exceptional people.
So I first have to ask how value can thrive or even survive, if we keep rewarding fake, devious narcissists, and the good people of the planet end up in a bad way from being constantly abused? There is only so much a person can take.
Narcissists enjoy corrupting good people, in fact, I have heard a malignant narcissist say this to me once, with a big smile on his face.
And this world really is not a pleasant place. Every day, innocent and beautiful animals are slaughtered among the millions in factory farms. Children are violated and murdered every minute, every hour.
The fact that innocence does not stand a chance in this world is a testament to the fact that narcissists will thrive and achieve their aims, because no one can stop them, and even if we try, our attempts are often unsuccessful. Have you ever tried to warn a new supply, a friend, or family member?
They would rather throw you under a bus than listen to someone who is trying to help. People want so badly to believe in illusions. It’s our own inability to understand that what seems too good to be true, actually is.
Our system itself is also an illusion. Our system is set up in such a way that people on the social hierachy or pyramid cannot rise from their situations. This includes the courts and our systems of justice.
It is intentionally so. They have purposefully allowed narcissism to thrive in our environment so that we cannot fight the graver injustices that occur. I believe that the APA isn't telling us the truth about how many narcissists are actually out there.
In this way, they can keep their business open for prescribing countless medications to treat depression and constant visits for therapy, when in fact, the narcissism epidemic is behind a lot of the pain and anguish in this world. Psychiatry is big business too, and fits right in with everything else in this sick society that utilizes money as both tool and weapon.
It's mostly done on purpose.
Think about it. If you get victimised by a narcissist, lose everything, and cannot get over the trauma, how will you have the energy or will to fight bigger battles?
This is why narcissism is dangerous, not just to the individual victims, but society as a whole. It is a very destructive "virus" of sorts that is spreading. People who were once joyful, full of hope, and happiness, become shadows of themselves after narcissistic abuse. The ability to trust is gone.
The very meaning of life may even shatter. The way narcissists treat people as disposable cheapens our life, and makes it seem like a game. We see the “happy” narcissist run off into the sunset after destroying others mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and financially, with yet another supply, knowing that the game will never end, as long as people are not educated on this topic. It's very grim, and very depressing, but it is reality.
In sum, this planet is not as nice as some people make it out to be. For many, it is an existence of great suffering. Corruption seems to be the name of the game.
And if the narcissist doesn't corrupt your morality from close enmeshment, then their abuse, cruelty, and discard will absolutely make you a different person. You may become vehemently angry, outraged by the injustice, and unable to comprehend how this person can cause so much devastation, walk away, and not care in the least.
The only way to combat this is by communicating (sharing experiences), exposing (spreading awareness), and supporting others (moral support/spiritual support) who have been through this travesty or abberation of nature, that is, the narcissist. I'm not even sure if they are human to be honest.
I’m not saying this to be rude, I just don’t even know anymore what they actually are. I’ve been among enough of them to know they are driven by jealousy and hatred, which is disturbing enough aside from the intentional abuse.
The fact that they also steal from you, take whatever they can get, and then leave or force you to leave them for your sanity, just makes it even more cruel. Especially if you are ill or not useful to them. Then they just find another supply who will adore the false masked demon and reward them for their bad behaviours. This issue is reaching a crisis point. We need to keep spreading awareness every day.
That is all I have to say for this answer, as there is no other actual answer.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-so-dangerous-about-a-narcissist
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:dance: Page 28 :jester:
Do narcissists knowingly and purposefully hurt their partners, why?
They will never admit that they are Narks, but by all means they intentionally go out of their way to make your life as miserable as possible.
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Yes, absolutely.
They target you because they want to watch you fall from grace and know it's because of them.
They want to see your suffering, they want to see you die slowly.
They want to watch your body slowly fall apart, they want to watch your mind slowly come unraveled.
They want to watch it as you start using drugs in order to cope with their abuse.
They want to watch your sadness as they program your children against you.
They want to watch you as you scream in pain and wish they would just get back to who they were.
Who they were in the beginning was just a projection of who you are to trick you into their web of torture.
That's it, absolutely nothing else…
You may think that they target you because you're kind, beautiful, wonderful person, empathetic…NOPE
They want to destroy all those things about you, they see goodness and kindness as weakness and stupid.
They want to rob you of your life savings, your dignity, your respect, your goodness, your kindness, and your empathy.
They want to burn everything about you and laugh in your face while they are doing it..
They want to completely destroy you.
Save yourself and get out of the relationship now.
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Imagine, if you will, a very, very bad driver. They have a long history of running people down without remorse - over twenty hit and runs and counting.
Whenever questioned about it, they deflect the blame -
“I was running late for the dentist, which is why I drove at 60 miles an hour through downtown".
“My windshield was cracked at that spot so I didn't see them”.
“The old lady shouldn’t have been crossing there".
“How am I supposed to dodge a pregnant lady driving her pram straight at my car!”
“Its not my fault my instructor didn't teach me how to avoid groups of school children when I'm drunk".
“He made a very hurtful comment as he bounced off my hood, nobody asks me how I am!"
On and on the terrible driver goes, mowing down person after person. Its never their fault, and they never improve their driving. Do they know they hurt people? Do they mean to hurt people?
That doesn't matter.
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YES THEY DO.
It is who they are…it is their nature.
And they enjoy it very much, your suffering is actually what makes them feel good.
I’ve lived around these people my entire life and I have noticed this is the case.
Many of you can’t fathom someone who was the love of your life is now a monster who could absolutely care less about your existence and loves to watch you fail because of THEM.
It’s unspeakable to you that someone like this could actually exist.
Well, the truth is that EVIL does exist on planet earth and you are now a witness to it.
It’s a betrayal and destruction like no other on this planet.
The devil is in the details.
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Think about it this way. They envy you. You are the light that people are drawn to. They want to be you but can’t. So instead they’ll destroy you. Make people hate you. Bring you down. Because if they do, they’ll be better than you. It’ll make them feel better about themselves. It truly is evil and you won’t see it coming.
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Yes all the time and every time. They are not interested in love. Love for them is no motivation.
They are our precise opposites. For them to survive and thrive, they must destroy us. The more destruction they create, their ego will feel more powerful.
Now if I come at you directly telling you my wish to destroy, you will run far away from me. So they use deceit and manipulation to reach their goal.
So to remove narcissism from this planet, we should starve narcissists from destroying us.
For a good human being, depression should mean learning lessons and becoming more true to the self.
For narcissists, depression means deprivation. They are weaklings unable to face the self and so become more desperate to hurt us.
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They don’t necessarily know they are a narcissist. Especially because that would take an actual diagnosis to be completely sure of. This would be very difficult because they would never get diagnosed because they don’t think they have anything wrong with them (everyone else is he problem).
So no, they do not usually know that they are a narcissist. But do they know they are hurting people? Yes. 100%. That is what makes their game so much fun for them. They enjoy the pain they can cause because it means THEY were the ones who could cause such damage to someone. It makes them feel powerful to know they have so much control over another person. And it is all very very intentional.
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To gain total control of their mind, body and spirit. Their intention from the time that they meet you is to be the best imposter they can be. The Narc that you meet will only be this great person until he knows he can control you.
Then, Mr. WONDERFUL disappears, never to be seen again and the monster shows his true colors and intentions. With their newly gained control over you, the games of shame will crank up. They strip you of your mind and self-esteem. Destroy your heart. This is all done with the control they now have from breaking you.
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The narcissist is aware they're a torturer. It could be you that is not aware of what they are. You may merely think of them as vain, or as having problems with “object relations”, or some guff about staring at reflections or wounded children.
They know what they are. It's just you who cannot face it.
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They don’t care. This is hard to explain, because you could say “yes” and you could also say “no”, but either answer is going to be interpreted through your perspective, which is not their perspective. Even saying “They don’t care” does not convey how they experience this, because you look at it from what it would mean for YOU to not care if you were hurting someone. It’s not the same kind of “don’t care”.
They don’t understand what it means to hurt someone. They only understand how it makes THEM feel to control someone else’s emotions. They have little to no empathy. They don’t understand that you have feelings outside of how your reactions make them feel. They know that they’re hurting you, but they are not emotionally mature enough to relate to what that even means. It’s a vague concept. And it’s a concept that they couldn’t care less about. Your feelings are not even an after thought.
They can see you crying. They can see you are upset. But there is no “you” behind the tears. Your tears only exist to either make them feel powerful, annoyed or indifferent. Other than how THEIR feelings are affected by your displays of emotion, nothing else exists.
You aren’t a real person. Only they are. You display emotion, but only they have feelings. They are the only thing that matters. You are a prop in a movie about them. You are a thing that does stuff for them. They are the sun and you are a planet. They are the star of the movie and you are an extra. You aren’t real. You don’t matter. You only exist to serve their needs.
Do they know they’re hurting you? They don’t even understand that question. Why would it matter?
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-knowingly-and-purposefully-hurt-their-partners-why
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Sadistic type narcissist use this tactic of leaving you hanging or simmering when you need to discuss things on your mind or in your heart. They will easily talk to you when they need something, but anything you need they just can’t bother and when they know it bothers you.
They make sure to continue to invalidate you and watch you squirm. Sometimes you may even feel angry that you are being invalidated and they will then point to your reactions as “crazy”, “abusive” or just act like they don’t hear you, or even disappear because you were starting a fight.
It’s all so dehumanizing to be treated like your thoughts, feelings and needs are not important enough to be validated by someone who claimed to love you. This is the crazy making of narcissistic abuse. It’s best to leave these relationships and find people who are authentic and can reciprocate your generous heart back to you. Keep healing survivors.
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What happens when you finally stand up for yourself and say what's on your mind to a narcissist?
You will find yourself paying a vey high price, that’s for sure. It’s not a joke, as some have mentioned. They will make you pay, even if they, “allow,” you to speak your mind at first. You will pay.
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Narcissists get offended when you stand up for yourself. Narcissists take it as an insult; it hurts their egos. You have challenged narcissists. Deep inside, they fear losing control and authority over you. Narcissists will use all their tactics to get control over you.
Narcissists will try to gaslight you into believing that you are the problem. Don't fall for it. They are very disturbed individuals; they believe everyone should operate in ways that make them comfortable. Let them be uncomfortable and alone in their world of fantasy, envy, and the need to micromanage and control others who threaten them. You set your boundaries and continue making them suffer.
Leaving narcissists is very important too; being with narcissists and standing up for yourself will bring more problems to you from their side.
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They turn it all around and make everything you’re saying - your fault.
Then - they become the victim, with the ‘oh poor me’ song-and-dance; blaming you for why they are hurt so bad by all that you’re saying.
Ohhhhhh - you are about to open Pandora’s Box.
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They’ll feel threatened and be angry. Then they’ll unleash whatever brand of npd is their specialty. You might get the disappearing act, the stone cold act or maybe the talk that ends with you apologizing. You’ll get to know their predictable pattern of BS. Their narc supply is insecure when you stand up for yourself. There isn’t room for both of you to have your needs met, in fact your narc doesn’t know or care what your needs are, except how they pertain to getting what they want from you.
Once you’ve identified a true npd, the only thing you can do is put as much distance between you and them as possible. They are the mud, you are the lotus.
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I did this recently, and it has been akin to opening the gates to hell, she has gone to a full on attack on my mental health..she told me two weeks ago that I had to move out, but not until after Christmas.. because its family time… We have two teenage children. So I registered with some accommodation agencies. I told her I had done so, and now she is denying ever having said I had to move out. Now it's got to the point where I can't even think straight.
My advice, make sure you're in a strong enough place, mentally, to deal with the fallout. I thought I was mentally strong enough, I now doubt that is the case.
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Well, this is an important question, because, what will happen afterwards can be a major traumatic event, or a series of traumatic events.
What I want to say, first of all, if you have to, at a point, do this to anyone, you have been doing it wrong. Because, you should be up front and honest about your feelings as soon as red flags, or questions arise, concerning the ways things are playing out.
It should never be built-up.
You should never just pacify anyone. Especially, your significant other! Or hold back what you want to say even once. Everything should be dealt with on the spot of the moment in question.
The biggest mistake I made was allowing any type of behavior that I didn't like continue. To be particularly honest, because I did allowed it, I have chalked up the failed relationship to being 100% my fault. This is paramount in any relationship to label and talk about any concern, as it happens. No - if, ands or buts!
With that being said, when you finally do stand up and say something you can probably expect a few different things.
Everything can be projected back to you in a way you ain't going to like or be able to deal with easily. They will shove it right back and in a crack that they found a long time ago. They have been analyzing you from day 1 and they know what you are weak too. They don't even use it til it's effective.
Now this varies with each person. And it is not only a narcissist that will do it. If a person has ill will towards you and has been hiding their true intentions they can act in the same way. So, don't think everyone is a narcissist. Because, that is super popular now. Just see that it may be a person that is deceptive.
So be careful when you come at someone, especially if you haven't from the very start of the unwanted behavior. Because, built up aggression can be misdirected and not used effectively if not handled on the spot.
This is very important. This is a big deal because then emotions get in the way and you can leave yourself vulnerable when you least expect it. Because, you where trying to tell them they were wrong. They can push this right back at you and make it stick harder. Trust me!
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-finally-stand-up-for-yourself-and-say-whats-on-your-mind-to-a-narcissist
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27 Inspirational Quotes
To Live By That Remind You To Always Stand Up
For The Truth
1. "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not." — The Lorax
2. "We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." — Elie Wiesel
3. "Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, and others make it happen." — Michael Jordan
4. "Strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others." — Suzy Kassem
5. "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything." — Albert Einstein
6. "What's the point of having a voice if you're gonna be silent in those moments you shouldn't be?" — Angie Thomas, "The Hate U Give"
7. "How much of human life is lost in waiting." — Ralph Waldo Emerson
8. "A real man will be honest no matter how painful the truth is. A coward hides behind lies and deceit." — Iona Mink
9. "If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter." — George Washington
10. "I would rather die fighting for what is right than live passively amidst all that is wrong." — Suzy Kassem
11. "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." — Martin Luther King, Jr.
12. "In a world that demands you to obey the wrong rules: Being rebellious is right." — Jenna Galbut
13. "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." — Mark Twain
14. "I'm for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who is for or against. I'm a human being, first and foremost, and as such I'm for whoever and whatever benefits humanity as a whole." — Malcolm X
15. "The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office." — Dwight D. Eisenhower
16. "Stand for what is right. Even if it means standing alone." — Suzy Kassem
17. "You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right." — Rosa Parks
18. "Courage isn't having the strength to go on — it is going on when you don't have strength." — Napoleon Bonaparte
19. "Your silence gives consent." — Plato
20. "Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." — Rumi
21. "It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone." — Hans F. Hansen
22. "Don't ever let anyone break your soul. You have to stand on your own two feet and fight. There are those who would give anything to see you fall, never give them the satisfaction, hold your head up high, put a smile on your face, and stand your ground." — The One Who Never Backs Down
23. "I am fire — if you want something salty and sweet, with no opinion, I am not the woman for you. I spit flames, often." — Janne Robinson
24. "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." — Albert Einstein
25. "Being able to admit you're wrong is important, but so is standing up for yourself when you're right." — Suzy Kassem
26. "It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." — Dumbledore
27. "Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." — Winston Churchill
https://www.yourtango.com/2018320349/best-inspirational-quotes-stand-up-what-you-believe-in
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Standing up for yourself is self preservation, standing up
for others is act of nobility.
The Courage To Stand Up To A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zKTI5VOM8k
False self is Ego and True Self is the Spirit of God -
Spiritual War of Good vs. Evil.
When You Stand Up To The Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUxLTF_Z8TI
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:taunt:
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If the actions don't match the words...
Just walk and never look back.
Stop Projecting Onto Narcissists
~Protect Yourself~
In this episode, The Little Shaman discusses dynamics
with pathologically narcissistic personalities.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufzcIndJF8E
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It's just wild, and also extremely frustrating that most people have absolutely no idea on earth (and can't begin to fathom or believe it's possible when we try explaining) how extreme/serious REAL NPD truly is. It makes US sound like the crazy one!
Rules In Narcissistic Relationships
@nopereradicator
8 months ago
A few of the rules:
Don’t talk about my crazy.
Have no expectations of me.
Don’t ask me any questions.
Rules are for you. I do what I feel.
What’s yours is mine. What’s mine is mine.
@NarcSurvivor
8 months ago
Any rules are typically double standards, where you’re not allowed to have any boundaries. Yet they keep their lives very private. So they can judge and criticise you and demand for you to conform to their expectations. While you can’t do the same for them. Everything is one-sided in a narcissistic relationship. There’s no space for you to even exist as a separate individual, because it’s just all about them.
@sa2417
8 months ago
They have a warped sense of reality but they know what they’re doing is unacceptable, hence their covert mode and the normal act in public.
@cleonagretelgodinho2881
8 months ago (edited)
One thing I’ve noticed is that they see everything as winning or losing. If you get your food before them they have lost. If they miss a chance to sit in the front because they were late they have lost. If you are crying and they are happy they have won. It's all about winning and if they lose then you will pay the price for it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AhF4yRaJ1qs
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Do narcissists ever care?
Yes! There are 3 main things that mean the world to the Narcissist, because if they don’t have at least 2 of these things going for them, in their eyes, they have nothing. The things Narcissists care about are very self-serving and superficial. But they are a true reflection of their Narcissistic Insecurity and the emptiness they have inside.
1. Image.
So, the first thing that means the world to the Narcissist is their image. The way they look, dress, etc. Image is everything to a Narcissist. Sociopaths, on the other hand, would have no issues rolling out of bed and walking to a corner shop all ruffled and unkept because they do not care how they look or how they are perceived. They make an effort only when it suits them.
But Narcissists, especially in their prime years, are obsessed with looking good and appearing to have it all. The Covert Narcissist, specifically, is very strategic with what they allow people to see about them. When they walk out of that door, they see it as a performance. Everything has to be in line with the image that they are trying to push.
Narcissists invest time, money, and energy to look good and get people to think quite highly of them. Everything they do is to improve their reputation and status. And the only people who get to see behind the disguise are those closest to them like their partners and children.
2. Narcissistic Supply.
The second thing that means the world to the Narcissist is their Narcissistic Supply, which usually comes as a result of that fake image that they have created. They need attention, compliments, and praise to feel good about themselves. They need to know that they are loved by the masses and held in high esteem. They also need that dark Narcissistic supply that they get from hurting and betraying those that they claim to love.
And in order to get this, they have to deceive people into getting into a relationship with them. The amount of effort the Narcissist puts into getting their Narcissistic Supply is enough proof to show how much it matters to them. With Narcissists, people are just a means to an end, and that is why they are not able to truly love or care for anyone. Because all they want from us is their Narcissistic Supply. It makes them feel powerful and in control.
3. Money & Power.
The third thing the Narcissist cares about is Money and Power. Money helps them to boost their fake image and purchase more and more stuff to distract from their miserable existence and try to make themselves happy. They refuse to accept that money cannot buy happiness. So, they are driven to be successful so that they can have more.
They have also realized that with more money, they can have control over more people. They can use their finances to keep certain people in their lives. And with money, as with everything else, the Narcissist cannot have enough and is never satisfied with what they have. With more money comes more power, and Narcissists take pleasure in controlling the lives of people and being feared.
Narcissists are weak, insecure, and highly dependent on the people around them to make them feel better about themselves or distract from their inner turmoil. So, they do care about their fake image as this is their green card to get access to more people. And more people mean more Narcissistic Supply. Narcissistic Supply is the Narcissist’s fuel for life. And finally, money and power are tools to help them gain even more control, maintain their image and provide further Narcissistic Supply.
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No, not unless it involved them 100 pct. my ex would ask me the same thing three or four times. I finally told him maybe if you saved your old texts from me you would know. If I talked about me or problems I was having he would say get out of your feelings. He never cared. Why? Because it wasn’t anything he cared about.
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Narcissists can exhibit care, but it's often different from how most people understand or experience it. Their "care" is generally shaped by their own needs, desires, and self-interest rather than genuine empathy or concern for others. Here’s a closer look at how narcissists might show care:
1. Self-Interested Care:
Instrumental Care: Narcissists may show care when it serves their interests or helps them maintain control. For instance, they might be attentive when they see an opportunity to gain admiration, support, or benefit from a situation.
Transactional Relationships: Their care is often transactional; they may show kindness or support when they expect something in return, such as validation, favors, or continued admiration.
2. Superficial Empathy:
Surface-Level Empathy: Narcissists can mimic empathy or concern to maintain their image or manipulate others. This empathy is usually superficial and tends to disappear once it no longer serves its purpose.
Performative Actions: They may engage in caring behaviors that are more about showcasing their generosity or morality rather than genuine concern for others.
3. Conditional Care:
Conditionally Supportive: Their support or care is often conditional, depending on whether the person or situation aligns with their interests. They may withdraw their care or support if they feel it is no longer beneficial to them.
Expectation of Reciprocity: Narcissists may expect to be rewarded or acknowledged for their care. If their expectations are not met, they might retract their support or become resentful.
4. Self-Preservation:
Protecting Their Image: Narcissists may show care when it helps them protect their self-image or reputation. They might engage in caring behaviors to avoid negative perceptions or to appear socially acceptable.
Managing Conflict: They might act caring to manage conflicts or restore harmony when it benefits them, but this care is often aimed at avoiding consequences rather than fostering genuine relationships.
5. Emotional Investment:
Limited Emotional Depth: Their emotional investment in relationships is generally limited. While they might appear to care, their emotional depth and capacity for true empathy are often shallow.
Self-Focused Reactions: They may react to situations based on how they affect them personally rather than out of genuine concern for others.
6. Manipulative Care:
Exploiting Vulnerabilities: Narcissists might use care as a manipulation tactic, leveraging it to exploit vulnerabilities or to gain control over others.
Creating Dependence: They may care in ways that foster dependence or loyalty, ensuring that others remain tied to them and continue to provide the admiration or support they crave.
Understanding the Dynamics:
Narcissists are capable of showing care, but it is typically self-serving and lacks the depth of true empathy. Their care is often conditional, transactional, and focused on meeting their own needs or maintaining their image. Recognizing these patterns can help you navigate relationships with narcissists and understand the motivations behind their actions.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-care
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What happens if you confront a narcissist’s lies?
Nothing is more frustrating about a narcissist than trying to confront them! It's more of a hassle than any of their wacko behaviors. This is what happens in a nutshell.
You (girlfriend/wife/boyfriend etc.) "Hey, I saw an email pop up on our computer and notice it's some dating site saying you have matches. Do you want to explain what this is all about?"
Narcissist: DENY - "I don't know what you're talking about babe. How was your day?"
You: "What? I saw on the computer that you're on a dating site. What's going on?"
Narcissist: BLAME - "Why are you going through my emails? Would you like it if I went through your stuff? Jesus, why don't you just trust me. It's you that is the trouble here. I can't believe you go through my private stuff. I shouldn't even tolerate this from you!"
You: "Well if you would stop cheating for once, I would trust you and wouldn't have to snoop through your stuff!"
Narcissist: GASLIGHTING - "Oh are we going to go down this road about me cheating? Do you reeeeaaallly want to do this now? Fine, what about your friend John that you went out to dinner with last week huh? Yeah, I'm a guy and I know how guys think. He wants you. You f*cked him didn't you? I saw how you talked to him at the cookout last weekend.
You were laughing at his jokes and you even suggested that he try your potato salad that you brought to the party. I saw you! You were flirting right in front of me you whore. See, I can never trust you. You continue to make my life a living hell. I don't even know why I give you so many chances. Yeah, why don't you and John go date and leave me alone. You like him so much, go be with him and leave me the f*ck alone!
You: "What are you talking about? I can't believe you would twist this all on me? You know and like John, you moron! *You're tempter is rising and you are now defending yourself. You can't help it, you're hurt at this point* (This is ALL done on purpose by the narcissist and you and I always feed into this game they play). So, you and the narcissist are now in a screaming match. You further try to defend yourself and you are feeding right into the narcissist's biggest trick! "You know John and I have nothing going on! He's been my friend since grade school and he's married and I'm friends with his wife!"
Narcissist: NARCISSISTIC RAGE - "You're nothing but a disgusting whore. I hate you and you can now eat dinner alone by yourself. Look at what you started."
(Narcissist leaves and runs into the arms of the very girl you caught him cheating on with that email)
You: Because you can't understand what the hell just happened, you further research this damn email! Now that he's left the house and you are in peace, you pour a big glass of wine and relax and focus more on this email and everything else that he's been up to! You reach out to this girl in email and you guys have a talk! You hear straight from the horse's mouth that he is in fact, sleeping with this girl and he is on his way to her house as you speak!
You later found out that he told her that he's single and that he said he's in love with her and actually wants to move in with her! You need to be sure so you ask for receipts! She sends exchanges between him and her as evidence. Bam, you are NOT crazy. You got him in the bag. He's 100% guilty and now you have hardcore evidence. You wait until his arrival. But what you are about to do is make your life hell because you must always remember, narcissists always win in conflicts. ALWAYS
Narcissist: STONEWALLS - It's a new day so every bad thing the narcissist did prior, you can't hand them accountable for! (strolls in at 9am the next day) "Hey, I'm hungry, anything to eat?" (kisses you on the cheek).
You: (with your printed out receipts) "You were with her last night! I spoke to her before you showed up at her house! Look, we had a nice talk about you last night."
Narcissist: NARCISSISTIC RAGE = NARCISSISTIC INJURY: (this is when they are backed into a corner and they can't escape and feel vulnerable) "You spoke to her? I can't believe you just started all this drama over nothing. If you weren't always causing drama in my life, maybe I wouldn't cheat on you!"
You: "I knew it, you never loved me. You always treat me like sh!t. I'm leaving you."
Narcissist: DISCARD/SILENT TREATMENT: "Fine, we are better off without each other. Good bye and you will NEVER see me again! You ruined us, not me. Bye! (Narcissist leaves and enforces a silent treatment on you). You will not hear or see him for some time. This is when he is out looking for new supply or spending time with existing supply to kill time until YOU come around and apologize to them.
You: GUILT/HURT/SHAME - You reach out frantically to the narcissist and get nothing but unanswered calls/unread texts/blocked on social media. It's like he vanished from your life for good. Because those who date narcissists are co-dependents with an anxious style of attachment, we can't shake the anxiety of losing them for good. Our whole life comes to a stop. We need to make things better. You love them so much. You miss them so much. You are worried about them.
Narcissist: (Btw, he's not reflecting on all the shite he's done, he's living it up with his supply) but he finally answers your call because you are acting like an annoying Irma Grese. Here comes what starts the circle of hell all over again. FALSE APOLOGY - (this is when the narcissist pulls you back in with false remorse and sincerity) "I miss you too baby. I hate that we keep on fighting like this.
I know I'm messed up in the head. I love you, but I hate you too because you drive me nuts." (Note: You drive them nuts....lmao). I know you want for us to be together, but you know we need to like trust each other and things have been so dark for us in the past, I don't know if I can be with you again but it will take baby steps for us to get back on track."
You: "I love you and I will do anything I can to make us work. I'm sorry for everything."
Notice, this is still shifting the blame on you. You are still looked at as the fault to this whole situation in their eyes. No matter what you say or do, you will now be the one to try and put all the effort into the relationship to "make it work" because you still feel guilt for even having the fight.....because you truly love them.
But, they truly CAN'T love you and therefore they will never have the ability to take ownership for any hurt that have caused you. It's a hard lesson to learn. But, almost all of us feed into the fake apology and we start the narcissistic relationship cycle all over again. But, every time you start it up again, the abuse and crazy making gets worse. After just months, and worse, years of taking them back, you will be left with no identity of your own anymore. You will lose yourself to the grips of them. No contact and realize that you can't help them.
This is a true description of my life with a narcissist and it's a pretty common scenario of what it's like to be in a relationship with one.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-if-you-confront-a-narcissist-s-lies
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Can you describe a narcissist having a meltdown?
You know when you’re in the grocery store and you hear a two year old screaming from 7 aisles away? And the kid is so upset that even if his mother gives him what he’s screaming for, he’ll just keep screaming?
Now imagine an adult doing that, but instead of screaming, he’s yelling crazy accusations that make no sense and go around in circles. He’s demanding things you cannot do. The more you try to calm him down, the angrier he gets. He just goes and goes and goes. You end up on your knees in tears begging him to stop and begging him to clarify what it is he wants you to do.
He just keeps going and it just never makes any sense and he gets angrier and angrier the more upset you get. And then he suddenly calms down. Maybe he goes out for a cigarette, 10 or 15 minutes go by as you stare into space with a dazed look on your face, wondering what the hell just happened, and then he walks back in, sits on the couch, grabs the remote and non-chalantly says “Finals start tonight. Wanna watch something else while it’s recording? Oh hey! Will you grab the chips?”
It’s like that.
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It’s like watching a 3 year old having a temper tantrum, but much more violent and extremely erratic. The screaming, rage and blame are over the top insane. I have witnessed my ex husband’s face grow from a beet red to purple due to his anger. I secretly hoped when he was lashing out at me that he would have a heart attack and die.
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They don’t have meltdowns in any real sense of the word. They put on mini-dramas - everything (EVERYTHING) is scripted and choreographed before you ever see it. Everything about them is FAKE.
Fake tears, fake kindness, fake friendships, fake love. Since everything about them is a lie, their “meltdown” will be, too. All it really is? Just more playacting to get you to feel sorry for them. They suck up the sympathy, empathy, and prayers, and CARING (poor guy - so nice and never seems to get a break) like a shop-vac.
FAKE, FAKE, FAKE. I can’t stress strongly enough what liars they are. They are great actresses (and yes, I say “actresses” because every felafeling one if them is a Diva).
So, no matter which brand of narcissist you’re dealing with, whatever it is they’re doing to make it look real? Smoke and mirrors, and nothing else. Zero substance, and oh the drama - give every single one of them an Oscar.
The best thing you can ever do is ignore them - I promise, if Meltdown number one wasn’t enough, he’ll come up with different ways to get attention. If you’ve got one, ditch them. There’s nothing about them worth holding onto.
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Imagine someone becoming SO Unhinged, seemingly “Possessed” by an EVIL Entity, and Spewing Hateful Words at You—Just indescribable…
You Can NOT Unsee It—Once You See It.
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-describe-a-narcissist-having-a-meldown
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Doesn’t the narcissist ever become tired of being manipulative? Are they capable of seeing a better way to deal with people?
It's their way of life, and they feel good about it. Being a bad person aligns with who they are. It's egosyntonic, a fancy of saying what they think and feel aligns with how they view themselves.
The irony is that sometimes they will pretend to feel "bad" about something, yet they justify their abuse and using others somehow, the same way a serial killer hugs the corpse of a woman he murdered, stating "I never knew this was the best way to get close to you; I see it now!"
The serial killer example is a stereotype, but it's the only way I can describe a narcissist's twisted morality, because narcissists don't have any morals.
Now there are some people who claim to be narcissists who state they "care" about their loved ones, but this care only extends so far. You also have to be careful with a narcissist claiming they are telling you the truth. I don't trust any of them online either.
I personally have narcissists in my family, and I've studied them for years.
I can tell you exactly what this "care" means. It means, you are a possession, and a piece on the chessboard. The closer you get to them, the more they pull away. They want someone they can control and have power over.
You're NEVER going to get close to a narcissist or psychopath. You're never going to feel those "warm fuzzy" feelings, and if you do, it's all coming from your imagination, prompted by the narcissist's actions (usually the lovebombing in the beginning).
Narcissists are perfectly happy to use you, and make it seem like a relationship, whether a parent, partner/spouse, or friend. I cannot even really call them either of those titles because they are meaningless with a narcissist. You're just playing the role of a dunce, a big dummy trying to show love for someone who sees you as an idiot.
I'm sorry for not mincing words, but that is exactly how they view you. As my ex-narc said "stupid people deserve to be fooled."
It's amazing. These "people" can hold you in their arms, say "I love you" every day, and go places with you, live together with you and spend lots of time around you, and yet, they never bond. They just don't bond, they don't connect.
And so it's so very easy for them to just view you as a stupid fool. A dummy who does everything for them, and acts like a freaking sycophant.
The sooner you realise this, the sooner you cut that tie and throw them away. They deserve to have to face the consequences of their actions. They need to go "find" themselves literally and figuratively, in the gutter. Maybe a bit of humility can be attained once a narcissist stops getting everything they want.
Speaking of which, some narcissists and psychopaths do enter therapy. I have heard of one psychopath who is trying to "control" his impulses to use people who seem naive, but he says it's very difficult. Still, I give him credit for trying.
That's exactly where all the narcissists belong. They shouldn't have anyone to feed or leech off of; they need to be left alone, so that they can work on themselves, whether or not the therapy works, I don't care. I just want people to stop supporting them and helping them out. Leave them alone.
If they cannot be helped, then we need to open more mental hospitals again, since narcissism is listed as a mental disorder. The government and the APA shouldn’t be dumping them on society, expecting us to clean up all the mess.
_________________________
No, they actually never tire of it. They love it. It’s all they know how to do. They’ve been doing it to get their needs met since early childhood, and it works for them. They see no reason to change, and couldn’t even if they tried.
They’re too lazy and entitled to do things a “better” way. They like their parasitic lifestyle, and expect us to just continue to deal with it, it doesn’t matter what it does to us real human beings.
___________________________
You would think they'd get tired of it, wouldn't you? It's exhausting dealing with them, for sure, and it doesn't make sense that anyone could actually be like this all the time.
And yet…. that's exactly how they are, relentlessly and undendingly. So, they lose people constantly, and try the same tricks over and over again, thinking the next person will have different results. But it just never does— people get tired and leave, or they're trapped and CAN'T leave, but disengage, which is emotionally checking out and a form of leaving.
Why a narcissist can't see this is because it's just the nature of their disordered mindset. When we're children, we have that magical thinking phase where we think we should have whatever we want and do whatever we want without consequences. But we grow up and the maturity, experience, and ability to empathize with others enables us to be teachable.
A narcissist doesn't have those qualities. They can TALK about those things, usually disparagingly when they're criticizing another person, or projecting their lack of those attributes onto someone else. They don't take responsibility and they are incapable of true remorse. Remorse is the catalyst of changed behaviors.
They feel none of that— they're only “sorry” that others stop buying into their bullshit and refuse to take their abuse. And since want someone to take on all their bullshit, they keep looking for the one who WILL, permanently. After all, in their minds, their machinations work in the beginning, so….their manipulations DO work. They just can't ever find that “perfect source” to take it perfectly forever.
Even if they DID, though— their boredom, general dissatisfaction, lack of empathy, and selfish nature's prohibit them from appreciating the “perfect doormat”.
Humans just aren't capable of remaining forever young, forever healthy with no needs of their own, forever submissive, or EVER perfect.
Narcissists can't handle that.
https://www.quora.com/Doesn-t-the-narcissist-ever-become-tired-of-being-manipulative-Are-they-capable-of-seeing-a-better-way-to-deal-with-people
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What is the narcissist’s
last trick?
In the world of mental chess that narcissists play, the final gambit, the last trick they pull from their dark, twisted sleeve, isn't just a move, it's a grand finale of manipulation and emotional pyrotechnics.
It's what I call the "Emotional Houdini Act" - the ultimate vanishing trick, leaving you questioning your own sanity, reality, and worth.
Picture this: After rounds and rounds of gaslighting, manipulation, and the roller coaster of highs and lows, just when you think you've seen it all, they pull the carpet from under your feet. This isn't just ghosting; it's disappearing with every piece of belief, confidence, and self-esteem you had.
It’s crafting a narrative so compelling, your friends, family, and even your dog would second-guess your version of events. It's an art form, a masterclass in psychological warfare, and you're left on the battlefield wondering where you even are.
This move, this devastatingly brilliant tactic, is the narcissist reaffirming their place at the center of the universe—at least, their universe. They twist the narrative, playing the victim or the hero as it suits them, leaving you as the villain in the eyes of the world. It's rewriting history, erasing your contributions, your pain, your voice from the story of your own life.
But here's the twist, the moment of clarity, your wake-up call. This isn't just a trick; it's your liberation. Their final act, their coup de grâce, ironically, is the key to your chains. The moment you realize that their disappearance, their rewriting of history, is their admission of defeat. They've played their last card, and it's a sign, a clear signal, that you're free.
Free to rebuild, to redefine, to reclaim your narrative and voice. This is where you rise, where you take the pieces they've left behind, and you build a fortress so strong, so authentically you, they couldn't penetrate it if they tried. This is your rebirth, your phoenix moment.
So, when faced with the narcissist’s last trick, smile. Know that this is where you win. It's where you take everything they thought they took from you and turn it into armor, into wisdom. It's your turn to be the architect of your future, and this time, the foundations are unshakeable. Stand tall, stand proud, because the game is over, and you, my friend, are the undisputed champion.
_____________________________
The narcissist's last trick is to discard you. This means that they will suddenly and abruptly end the relationship with you, without any explanation or closure. They will act as if you never existed, and they will move on to a new source of supply. They will do this to make you feel worthless, rejected, and abandoned.
They will also do this to avoid any accountability or responsibility for their actions. They will try to make you believe that you are the problem, and that they are better off without you. This is a cruel and devastating way to end a relationship, and it can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and betrayed.
The narcissist's last trick is designed to inflict maximum pain and damage on you, while they escape unscathed. They will do this to make themselves feel powerful and superior, and to avoid facing their own insecurities and flaws.
_____________________________
In a narcissist's twisted world, their final trick is their most devastating. Before they leave you for good, they need to utterly destroy you. This isn’t just an option for them it’s a necessity. They want you to feel completely worthless, to break you down to your core.
You see, everything a narcissist does follows a predictable cycle: value, devalue, discard. It’s their blueprint, a deeply ingrained pattern of behavior that they repeat over and over. This is who they are, and they won’t change. On the surface, they might seem successful, charming, and even powerful—people might not believe you if you told them the truth. But behind closed doors, they are entirely different.
The last trick they pull before they leave is subtle and insidious. They covertly work to break you, to make you feel like you are nothing without them. They want you to be anxious, depressed, even contemplating the worst, all to feed their sense of superiority. This isn’t about love or care; it’s about control.
They need to keep you in a state of dependence, making it easier for them to manipulate you. If you start asking too many questions or begin to see through their facade, they’ll discard you quickly, but not before leaving you in pieces.
The goal is to leave you so broken that, even after they’re gone, you’re too damaged to move on. They’ll ensure that when they walk away, you’re left questioning everything, blaming yourself, and feeling utterly destroyed. This is their twisted way of ensuring you’re easier to control, should they ever return. It’s about making sure that they are always in a better position than you, feeding their delusion of superiority.
In their mind, they must be better than you. So, they tear you down, making sure you’re left on the floor, broken and defeated. Meanwhile, they’ll play the victim to others, painting you as the problem and themselves as the ones who were wronged. It’s a sick game they play to ensure they always come out on top, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.
This last trick is their way of ensuring they can walk away unscathed, leaving you in a state of ruin. But remember, this is not about you it’s about them and their need to feel superior. They don’t care about the pain they cause, only that it serves their purpose.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-narcissist-s-last-trick
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Laugh in their face and say, "You're textbook".
5 Best Ways to Make
a Narcissist Panic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_liNQoCqOWo
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:tello: "The greatest thing about this journey is... No response is consistent. Not great at all."
-
:tello: " I nearly swear if I get out of this life....I will ..... (Fill In The Blank).
You think Pop-ups ads are bad........Look for me.
I have your links. Do YOU have my six?
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.409563862159&type=3
lol.....................................
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:tello: "Censorship coming at me? Not news. The latest...".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcez8rVETVU
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:tello: "I was GraveRobbing. All the "stiffs" said they were Narc abuse vics. Out of the graves & into the streets. Abusers BEWARE!!!"
:mummy:
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Do you know of any narcissists in American politics?
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Political Narcissism in American politics
Sadiq A. Qatari
PE Consultant at Saudi Aramco
June 20, 2024
Political narcissism refers to the presence of narcissistic traits or controls in individuals involved in politics. Narcissism is generally characterized by a preoccupation with use, a grandiosity of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. When these names entered the political arena, they could have a significant impact on political and industrial control.
He discovered that seekers with narcissistic tendencies often have an excellent appetite for flattery, praise, and flattery. Traditional models are treated to embody superiority and admiration, and they may have an entitlement to power and privilege where this fire for validation and admiration can contribute to creating innovation.
Studies also found that there is a positive relationship between Narcissus and the participation of political forces. People with higher domains of narcissism took to greater action in business politics such as contacting politicians, signing a petition, joining documents, donating money, and voting in elections. However, it is important to note that narcissism does not necessarily confer political ideology or party affiliation.
The concept of collective narcissism is also relevant to the context in Yemen. Collective narcissism refers to the grandiose group and the need for external validation. This can be viewed by people belonging to a social group or by the group. The narcissistic group has been linked to intergroup groups and can have political consequences.
It is worth noting that there is a multifaceted relationship between narcissism and politics related to the topic. While some studies suggest a positive relationship between narcissism and political participation, other studies highlight the potential effects of narcissistic power on democracy and cooperation.
Understanding the role of narcissism in politics is crucial to analyzing cyber and technological policy control, most notably in democratic processes. By learning about political narcissism and its studies, we gain insight into political motives and activities in relation to their potential for society and governance.
SEE MORE:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/political-narcissism-american-politics-sadiq-a-qatari-keu5e/
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The Most Narcissistic Presidents in Modern U.S. History Ranked
The full list shown in the study, ranked by standard narcissism scores from highest to lowest, can be seen below. Any score over zero is considered above average.
Lyndon Johnson (1963–1969): 2.167
Theodore Roosevelt (1901–1909): 1.528
Richard Nixon (1969–1974): 1.412
Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933–1945): 0.903
Bill Clinton (1993–2001): 0.649
John F. Kennedy (1961–1963): 0.630
Woodrow Wilson (1913–1921): 0.526
George W. Bush (2001–2009): 0.314
Ronald Reagan (1981–1989): -0.153
Herbert Hoover (1929–1933): -0.242
Harry Truman (1945–1953): -0.538
Warren Harding (1921–1923): -0.739
Jimmy Carter (1977–1981): -0.775
Dwight Eisenhower (1953–1961): -0.780
George H.W. Bush (1989–1993): -0.864
Gerald Ford (1974–1977): -0.912
Calvin Coolidge (1923–1929): -1.007
William Taft (1909–1913): -1.032
William McKinley (1897–1901): -1.087
https://www.newsweek.com/most-narcissistic-presidents-modern-united-states-history-ranked-1743670
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It's impossible to describe being abused by a narcissist without sounding like a narcissist.
4 Things a Narcissist NEVER Gets Over
In this video, we're going to talk about the 4 things that a narcissist NEVER gets over. These are the things that will keep them feeling insecure and angry throughout their lives.
Narcissists are incredibly insecure people, and these 4 things are the key things that keep them feeling that way. By understanding these concepts, you can start to heal the damage that has been done to you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YR_yPjKiEEc
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Gone In 60 Seconds.
No! The Narcissist Doesn’t Need You & This is Why
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmgLHjGzX6E
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1.Own worst enemy. 2.Immature. 3.Dependent on others.
3 Things a Narcissist ISN'T Aware of
@jackieyesudas2571
1 year ago
Totally and 100% correct. Narcs are miserable and lonely humans.
My narc husband did every single thing that you mentioned in this video. He abandoned me and our two sons after 30 years. We are free from this controlling and evil man now.
Thank you Danish. I am on my healing journey.
@breezybreezy
1 year ago
Narcissists are not aware of how predictable they are once their patterns are exposed. They also underestimate people but once you see the tricks you can't unsee them, and then you can just see them coming.
@JamesNGames
1 year ago
In my experience, it's fascinating to observe how individuals with narcissistic traits seem to possess a keen self-awareness, yet they consciously choose to overlook the impact of their actions on others. It can be quite perplexing to engage with someone who seemingly disregards the feelings and needs of those around them, even when they appear fully aware of their behavior.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UVivb6ATQs
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7 things a narcissist despises the most:
1- they will help strangers instead of you
2- accountability reveals the truth about them
3- you enjoying their life without them
4- your genuine connections and relationships with other people
5- anything that contradicts their agenda
6- your authentic self, your talents, skills and ability to be yourself
7- when you abandon them. you are proving them wrong
7 Things a Narcissist Despises The Most
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1waRmdlt5Y
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From:JH Simon
jhsimon@substack.com
To:Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
Wed, Sep 18, 2024 at 5:42 AM
A Deep Dive Into The
Narcissist’s False Self
The ‘false self’ is a concept which lies at the core of narcissism discourse, yet is rarely thoroughly explored. In some ways, it is as ambiguous and difficult to define as the True Self.
I’ve contemplated the false self for years, both as an idea and as it might exist in myself, which often spurs feelings of resistance. This internal pushback provides the first clue about the false self: It does not want to be exposed.
So what is the false self hiding?
To Know What Is False, Reveal What Is True
Let’s begin by considering the True Self and the Ego.
The True Self is your internal blueprint. It is your universal and ancestral potential, which is compelled to contribute to the game of evolution by expressing its energy in the world. The True Self contains your emotions, your instincts, your nature, your drives and your archetypes, such as the warrior, the diplomat, the sage and the lover.
The True Self allows you to express energy in the world in fascinating forms, from the capacity to assert your strength, to your ability to lead others, to finding clever solutions to problems. Yet the True Self has no mind and no eyes. For that, it needs the ego.
The ego is your representative in the world. It analyses, judges and makes decisions aimed at what it deems to be in your best interest. The ego determines which actions will keep you safe, nurtured and prospering in life. It also alters how you interact with others, customising your personality in different contexts to better get your needs met.
You might be submissive and appeasing, aiming to soften others into supporting you. You might be hard and aggressive instead, hoping to force cooperation. If you judge someone as ‘inferior’ or detrimental to your standing in society, you might grow contemptuous and detached, looking to avoid being negatively influenced by them.
When isolated, the ego seems like a cold and greedy tool of manipulation — which is precisely what it is. The ego is a tool of the mind which evolved as a needs-meeting machine. Yet a world driven by ‘machines’ leads to exploitation and ruin. Humans are motivated by much more than their basic needs.
Purpose. Beauty. Meaning. Love. Belonging. Connection. Joy in being. These are just some of the authentic qualities which are beyond the ego. To function in a way that is beneficial to humanity, we need a healthy ego which allies itself with the True Self.
Harmony Within, And Without
A healthy ego aims to accurately read our inner reality i.e. the mysterious designs of our True Self, while harmonising it with outer reality i.e. what the world demands of us.
The True Self is indeed a mysterious metaphysical organism, with each person seemingly born having a unique ‘nature’. A person’s temperament is driven greatly by their True Self, along with what they are drawn towards and what resonates with them.
Some people are warriors by nature, craving the challenge of conquering and shaping the world according to a higher design. Others are thinkers and philosophers, able to access hidden realms and share their discoveries for the benefit of mankind. Some are abrasive by nature, others are healers.
When a person has a regulated nervous system, has successfully attuned to their True Self, and possesses an understanding of how reality and the world work, then the True Self can better actualise. Such a person intimately knows and accepts their nature. Armed with a healthy ego, they go about negotiating their place in the world.
Unless, of course, they carry complex trauma, in which case their trajectory is vastly different.
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If you’re with a narcissist, you’re running for your life too — it’s just that no one has told you yet.
Motivations of Narcissists: Expanded
[DEEP DIVE]
In this deep dive, The Little Shaman discusses the motivations and mindsets of pathologically narcissistic people.
@charlietaylor1985
4 years ago
I feel sorry for all of those people that has or is dealing with a NARCISSISTS person. They can mess you up, destroy your life and don't seem to bat one eye.
@maryn1834
4 years ago
Always a crisis. A constant vortex of chaos and drama for no real reason at all.
@jonsmith8083
4 years ago
Dealing with them is like trying to kick water up the stairs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0C8XtAHKGVM&t=40s
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How does a narcissist choose his supply?
Narcissism is a crime of opportunity.
Narcissist are emotional predators constantly looking for supply. If the supply is easy to get, they will take it. However, if there is someone they see as benefiting them more, they will keep the now wounded “easy” prey and stalk the “higher” prey. Once they have the “higher” prey, they will just walk away from the easy prey leaving it critically (mentally) injured.
Now if that new prey gets away or they are done with that prey, they will go back to the now injured first prey, who will not put up a fight. This might sound graphic, but it isn’t nearly as horrible as when it happens to real people.
The emotional damage these creatures cause is worse than anything a person could do to another person.
It is literally emotional rape, over and over. To make it worse the narcissist blames the poor soul getting raped to the point the victim can’t fight any longer and starts to believe it is their fault. The victim is left emotionally in critical condition barely hanging on to sanity, while the narcissist goes out for just “another hunt”. Narcissist live for the hunt, trap, conquer and destroy, then just leave feeling powerful not think a thing of it.
_____________________________
Whether male or female narcissist, they have criteria for their supply. The spider wants to find a certain type of fly for their web. Fun, compliant, supportive, SERVING. It has to be gratifying for THEM. Lining up supply is the narcissist’s constant focus, so they are experts at evaluation. Dating sites and social media provide the most options.
Their criteria resembles:
Good appearance, but not more attractive than themselves. If N is a 8 for looks or status, you are ideally around a 7/6. In public, attention is on them. Control dynamic.
Pleasing nature. You are settled (have own living space, steady job) and not embroiled in drama like active divorce, custody battle, sick parent, unemployed.
Humor is important because narcissist must be entertained. Usually not interested if you don’t drink.
Mannered. You are the supporting cast member, not the star. You are a #2. No alpha types.
Caring nature (read: people pleaser). You will be asked questions to validate. For example, “tell me about your family and your parents.”, “What was your last relationship like?”, “Who is your role model?”
Sex. On the table from go. “My friends say these dating sites are all about sex. What is your view?”, “How many dates before sex?”, “How was your sex life like in your marriage?” A narcissist will not waste much time. Get to love bombing or move on to next potential.
Finally, are you suggestive? Start with dirty jokes, then have you ever…, then your darkest secret fantasy is…. Shows you can open up.
On face value, this list is fine, but the difference will be how fast the narcissist can evaluate. A normal person may have similar preferences but will take time to get to know you and build a connection. A sign of a narcissist will be moving very fast and feeling like you are pushed into an instant relationship.
Then, there is some control testing during love bombing like going quiet for a day after sex or asking you for a big favor too soon - small loan, borrow your car, pick up something way of town. It is a temperature check to know if you are committed. For those recovering, most are embarrassed by the things done to keep the N happy - we didn’t know.
A narcissist may break their criteria in bad times. Anyone can be short term fix until someone better is found. Narcissists are sharks. There is no shame, because you can be discarded. No empathy. You were lucky to be with them in their own mind.
Go no contact and always move forward.
_____________________________
Two words. Vulnerability and availability.
To be a successful supply they must be vulnerable- willing to show excitement at the Narcs presence, be submissive in thought and action to all the Narcs likes and dislikes, be enthusiastic about putting the Narc first.
The supply must give and give more as time goes on to show their loyalty. We wouldn’t want the Narc to grow weary of the supply now, would we? You must be willing to please them at all costs.
Keep in mind that while the supply is doing all of this,they have no idea that it will not be reciprocated . They are thinking this is a substantial relationship with a future. They will receive breadcrumbs From the Narc (while being conditioned through intermittent reinforcement) because the Narc cannot “give” in return - not in a real way.
A word about availability: The Narc needs someone who spends time with them, does what they enjoy- all when the Narc wants it.
These are two important features of the perfect supply because the Narc just “might” stick around longer because of them.
Keep in mind- it is all a matter of time until the relationship ends. It’s all fun and games at first, but when it starts to require something of the Narc it soon becomes boring and frantic.
This is when they search for a new, shiny supply who is vulnerable and available ……. And the beat goes on.......
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-choose-his-supply
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Why do narcissists search for you in other people after discarding you?
Narcissists believe the grass is always greener on the other side.
They think that every new supply will be just like the old supply or, better than. Unfortunately the narc spends most of their life looking for that perfect person in which they never do. This perfect person is supposed to be the narc's puppet, adhere to every word the narc says and does.
The narc is in control not their supply. The reason why you get discarded is because you've been used up, you have already been replaced and you are no longer adhering to the narcs demands so they found someone who will, or, so that's what the narc thinks.
You also have to remember since they are so dense in the head, since they never gave you any closure they think you'll be waiting there for them and that this break up is only temporary.
You the former supply doesn't know this and believe its over this time. While you the old supply are left devastated, the narc is busy screwing and using this supposed perfect puppet. However after months go by this perfect puppet isn't so great after all due to the fact that they are catching on to the narcs lies and they too are getting the hot/cold shoulder.
The narc now is upset because they thought they found their perfect puppet. So what does the narc do? Like any typical narc they start contacting other possible sources and old former supplies then just like that you come to their creepy mind.
To answer your question the narc believes that their supply is their puppet and is supposed to put up with their sh!t. When it doesn't work out they just move on to the next and believe that every new supply will be different yet the same like their old supply.
That's what the narc wants in a partner. This is why all their relationships end up short term, brief and fail. The narcs perfect person doesn't exist because no one will put up with it. Now this also depends on the type of supply.
If you were the type to put up with their shitty behavior, were the one who stayed the longest and gave them the supply they needed then yes they will look for you, if you were a sh!tty supply that only provided temporary relief for them then the narc will begin to think back and in his head say you know if this were so and so she would put up with me.
By the time the narc realizes that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, by the time the light bulb goes off and they contact you, its now to late for them because you the old supply have moved on, you're getting married to your real soulmate looking towards that wonderful life ahead of you.
The narc now feels defeated because everything they took for granted is now in the hands of someone else who will truly appreciate you, love you the way you deserve to be. The narc then moves on once again and continues their path of failed, destructive relationships until they get decrepit, old and no longer can attract supply. They end up alone later in life. They are such pathetic losers!
This is how the narcs mind operates that's how sick and twisted they really are.
____________________________
Narcissists often seek out new sources of validation and admiration after discarding someone because their self-esteem is heavily reliant on external affirmation. Here are some key reasons why they might search for traits of their former partners in others:
Validation and Supply: Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration, known as "narcissistic supply." After ending a relationship, they may look for new partners who can provide similar validation or who possess qualities they found appealing in their previous partner.
Comparison and Idealization: Narcissists tend to idealize their former partners and may seek to find someone who can match or surpass those qualities. This comparison allows them to maintain a sense of superiority and control over their new relationships.
Fear of Abandonment: Despite their outward confidence, narcissists often have a deep-seated fear of abandonment. By searching for familiar traits in others, they may unconsciously attempt to recreate the dynamics of their previous relationship, seeking comfort in the familiar.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Many narcissists lack insight into their own behavior and motivations. They may not fully understand why they seek out others who remind them of their ex-partner, as they are often more focused on their immediate needs for attention and validation.
Emotional Regulation: After a breakup, a narcissist may struggle with feelings of emptiness or loss. Seeking out new partners with similar traits can serve as a coping mechanism to fill the emotional void left by the discarded partner.
Manipulation and Control: Some narcissists may intentionally seek out individuals who resemble their exes as a way to manipulate or control their new relationships. By projecting their past experiences onto new partners, they can maintain a sense of dominance.
In summary, the search for familiar traits in others after discarding someone is often a complex interplay of emotional needs, validation-seeking behavior, and a lack of self-awareness.
_______________________________
Narcissist do not search for us in every person they want a relationship with. The narcissist may compare the previous supply with the new to make her feel jealous and to create triangulation. He will make this new person believe his ex wants him back. This creates the illusion he is highly sought after.
The narcissist plays a lot of mind games. He is lying constantly to both woman and the sad part is they love him and want to believe the lies. But sooner or later they will have to face the truth. The narcissist loves no one. He does not bond, nor have empathy. It is impossible for the narcissist to love and care for you. He is self focused. The only thing the narcissists cares about is narcissistic supply.
He can pretend to love you but the fact is he is incapable. Those feelings were shut down. And they cannot return. The narcissist needs narcissistic supple in order to exist. He cannot regulate his own self esteem. So he uses others for the purpose of regulating his self esteem. Narcissist have many sources of supply. No one person can fill all the needs of the narcissist.
The narcissist is looking for a person who can be an endless source of narcissistic supply. He thinks this one will be different at least in the beginning. We all eventually fail them in their eyes. When we do fail the narcissist blames us. We failed him just like all the others and he thought we were different. He is looking for that perfect person who’s supply never grows stale.
We all know relationships do not stay as they were in the beginning, but they grow into something more meaningful. A deeper lasting love where two people are devoted to each other. There is love and mutual respect for one another. Not so within a narcissistic relationship.
Narcissists are always looking for something better to prop up their false image. They may stay in a marriage for a long time, but it is not a good marriage. They are always disappearing, and you have no idea where they are. They lead double lives they could have a man or woman on the side. While you sit innocently at home. Taking care of the home and children.
You make them look like a normal husband and father. So it benefits him at this point to stay in the marriage. The moment you no longer benefit him he will start looking for a new supply source. You cannot love these narcissist enough.
The kinder you are to them the worse they treat you.
___________________________
They are not searching for you, or anybody else. They are searching for that ideal image of “someone”, their ideal person. Once they thought they find that ideal person in you, so you thought it's about you. It's not about us, they just saw that “something” in us, and now they are seeing in someone else.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-search-for-you-in-other-people-after-discarding-you
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Why are narcissists so vindictive after the discard?
Let’s take a closer look at what really happened before the final discard.
Did you ask the narcissist to treat you with respect and dignity?
Did you catch them lying or cheating?
Did you refuse to lower yourself to meet one of their ridiculous demands? Were they betraying you behind your back?
Did you finally reach your breaking point with their abusive, cruel behavior and call them out? Did you see through the mask and notice the childish, temperamental, judgmental, and selfish person they really are?
Did you stand up for yourself?
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, the narcissist feels betrayed.
In their twisted reality, they believe you wronged them. Now, they want to punish you, discard you, and erase you from their lives.
They shift all the blame onto you so they can absolve themselves of any wrongdoing and move on to their next target without a hint of remorse. At some point, they realized they couldn’t dominate you any longer, that they were losing control of the relationship, so they decided to leave first—just to make sure they were the one to end it.
Are you feeling hurt, confused, and blindsided?
That’s exactly how they want you to feel.
Has the person you thought cared about you suddenly transformed into a cruel and cold-hearted monster? That’s the real version of them.
Have they withdrawn all affection, leaving you with nothing but cold silence? Consider yourself punished and banished.
Are they smearing your name in your community, workplace, or among friends and family? They’re doing this to control the narrative, portraying themselves as the victim and you as the offender.
Are they acting like you never existed? It’s because they felt rejected and, to preserve their fragile ego, they’ll abandon you without hesitation to feel superior.
In their distorted view, you are wrong, and they are right. You are discarded, and they’ve moved on. But understand this: no matter what you did or didn’t do, this was always going to happen.
Narcissists are incapable of healthy, stable relationships. They will find reasons to criticize you and make you feel unworthy. But you deserve better. These people are unstable, delusional, self-serving, manipulative, and stubborn.
By standing your ground, you’ve preserved your dignity.
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Once they discard you, narcissists want to hold your feet to the flame by blaming you for the fallout of the relationship and every single thing that went wrong. They hate you because you either refused to give in to them, you called them on their bs, you tried to uphold a boundary, or you otherwise did NOT give them what they want.
So, like little children, they are going to pout and make you KNOW that they are resentful. They do this by devaluing you, throwing tantrums, throwing every insult and hurtful criticism against you, and ultimately booting you from their lives.
They WANT you to feel like garbage so THEY can feel good about themselves.
The reality is, the narcissist f*cked up. The narcissist could not maintain a healthy, lasting relationship with you. The narcissist is never satisfied and cannot see the good in anyone beyond what they can TAKE.
They treat people like they are disposable. That’s why they LOVE dating apps, because they can recycle through people on a whim, and torch those that aren’t worth keeping around (usually the ones that have enough self-respect to draw the line).
They are angry because they are incompetent, lack character, and have no real love for themselves or other people. They are wizards of loneliness and misery, and they will drag anyone they can down with them, especially when they are done with you.
They are cold, calculating, and cruel, and they know EXACTLY what they are doing and how to HURT people the most - especially those who care for them and try to see the good in them.
Does that sound like a happy, healthy, stable person to you? NO! They’ve been angry their whole lives. They were angry and resentful while with you, and they will be spiteful and hateful long after you’ve gone.
This makes them feel superior, when honestly it’s quite sad and pathetic.
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Narcissists often display vindictive behavior after a discard due to several psychological factors related to their personality traits and coping mechanisms:
Wounded Ego: Discarding a narcissist can be perceived as a significant blow to their self-esteem. They often see relationships as a means of validation, and being discarded can trigger feelings of rejection and inadequacy.
Need for Control: Narcissists typically desire control over their relationships and their environment. When they are discarded, they may feel a loss of control, prompting them to retaliate or seek revenge to regain a sense of power.
Fear of Abandonment: Many narcissists have an underlying fear of abandonment. When someone leaves them, they may react with vindictiveness as a defense mechanism to cope with their anxiety about being alone or unworthy.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often struggle to empathize with others, which makes it difficult for them to understand the emotional impact of their actions. This lack of empathy can lead them to act vindictively without considering how it affects the other person.
Projection: They might project their own feelings of inadequacy or failure onto the person who discarded them, leading to blame and hostility. This can manifest as anger or a desire to harm the other person.
Revenge as a Strategy: For some narcissists, enacting revenge can be a way to restore their self-image. They may believe that by retaliating, they can demonstrate their power and worth, even if it comes at the expense of others.
Social Reputation: Narcissists often care deeply about their public image. If they feel they have been wronged, they might engage in vindictive behavior to "save face" or to manipulate others’ perceptions of the situation.
Understanding these dynamics can help individuals navigate relationships with narcissists and recognize the motivations behind their vindictive actions.
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Because they don't have to keep pretending that they are decent human beings anymore. The moment they discard you, they show their REAL TRUE SELF and this is one of the scariest things you will ever see.
They might have shown you bits of their real personality before, the lies, cheating, anger, manipulation etc., but they still kept pretending if they saw some benefits in it.
The moment they discard you, they don't care anymore whether you see their real self or not. Their thinking is very primitive and black and white, they don't have any long-term insight, so for them what happens in this moment is an indication of how things will be forever.
The mask comes off. You see all the evil, ugliness, nastiness, emptiness and downright DARKNESS of this shell of human being. Nothing in life prepares you for seeing a TRUE SIDE OF A NARCISSIST. It's scary, disgusting and revolting.
This is real them. All what was before was an act to get you hooked and compliant.
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-vindictive-after-the-discard
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The more you know about narcissistic abuse, the more you realize your upbringing didn’t help. Those fairy tales we read as children. I guarantee every “Prince Charming” is a narcissist or psychopath or both since 40 percent of narcissists also have APD traits. Keep learning survivors.
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What are some noticeable signs that a narcissist is faking concerns?
Narcissists are masters at showing fake concern. Narcissists are not bothered about your problems or health; they are curious about knowing your health problems and other problems.
Narcissists words never match with their actions. Narcissists might be very good with words, but when it comes to action, you will never see their efforts. Narcissists will dictate orders instead of helping you out; in some cases, narcissists may also get angry because of your problems, but they will cover up their behavior in the name of concern.
In some cases, a narcissist may also help you out because they don't want to get into the problems because of you or they just want to brag about how much they did for you. No matter how many problems you might be going through, a narcissist will be living an absolutely normal life, like your problems didn't affect them. You will be suffering; narcissists will be having a good time; they will just cover up their behavior with nice words.
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When they give unnecessary or unsolicited advice without asking any questions of what you actually need. When they become angry or impatient if you do not react the way they envisioned you should (i.e. taking their advice or thanking them profusely for their concern).
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Typically, when a Narcissist is faking concern, it’s followed by asking you to do something for them.
For example, you have a recently deceased relative and they surprise you by inquiring about them. They may ask you if you were left money or property.
Then, they may ask you for money to invest in one of their latest “no fail” investment schemes.
Should you decline, they will say that you will throw away any inheritance you received.
You will be manipulated, bullied, stalked and harassed to give them your money.
The only way out is to cut them off completely.
Remember, Narcissists have no empathy and any “concern” is to manipulate you into giving them something else.
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I think narcissists are excellent actors. If you have already clearly identified someone as a narcissist then it's safe to assume that all their emotional responses are fake, with the exception of concern for themselves which is very genuine.
My girlfriend used to make a point of telling me how kind she was to old people and vulnerable animals. The very fact that she chose to pointedly reference this was something I found odd at the time and later realised that is it was an attempt to persuade me/herself of a level of empathy that in reality she was incapable of feeling.
In summary, I would say that the clearest indicator of fake concern would be if it appears too much, too emphatic and over the top.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/What-are-some-noticeable-signs-that-a-narcissist-is-faking-concern
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Are narcissists good people who are just bad
to be around?
Narcissists are evil in human disguise.
Narcissists come into your life to destroy you; they take everything from you. Narcissists main motive is to see your downfall and destruction. Narcissists don't have empathy, sympathy, or remorse; they come into relationships just to feed on you. You give everything to narcissists; they take everything from you, and then they destroy you emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
For narcissists, every person is an object to be used, abused, and replaced. It's better to keep away from narcissists. No person should be around narcissists. Narcissists will destroy anyone who gets close to them.
Narcissists are evil; their sole purpose is to take everything from you. It's the mask, which doesn't allow people to see who they are.
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This answer is going to seem harsh and it might feel one sided, however, once you have lived with a Narcissist or have grown up with a Narcissist as a parent, you see the Narcissist for who they are.
Narcissists are NOT good people.
There is nothing good about them. Sure, they can do nice things for you, but there is ALWAYS something in it for them whether it is to get Narcissistic Fuel, money, material things, sex, someone to blame for their bad behaviors and to regulate their emotions, housing, and food. I (the Narcissist) did something for you and now you owe me!
Narcissists steal everything from you. They criticize, belittle, ridicule, devalue, give you backhanded compliments, steal and/or break your things that you hold dear, tell you lies about yourself and about the people you love.
They use and abuse people to gain a sense of control and to build their self-esteem at someone else's expense. They take our “Free Will” away from us. Narcissists don't like people that are different from them. Why? Because they don't know how to deal with differences.
They are schemers at the core. They don't understand love, mercy, compassion, and have little to No Empathy.
Narcissists never take any responsibility for their actions. They just look for someone to blame. If you are their child and they don't like you, will then, you are blamed not only for their (Narcissistic parent(s)) behaviors, but you are blamed for every problem in the family and you are responsible to solve the family's problems and it doesn't matter how old you are. Narcissists groom their children to take care of them, not the other way around as it should be.
Narcissists will NEVER see the other person's side of things because
1) They have very little empathy.
2) They are so selfish that all they think about is how are they going to get their needs and wants met.
3) Their Self-Entitlement is so deep that they believe they have to right to treat people as they see fit. They have the right to punish people. They have the right to withhold important information from people. They have the right to take what they want from people.
Here is something to think about…when I was little and playing by myself, my mother used to get so angry that she would physically beat the crap out of me. Some of my favorite toys would come up missing. My mother never hugged me. She never comfort me when I had bad dreams. I was four years old and knew I couldn't go to her for anything.
If I was bullied at school I couldn't go to her for help. If I didn't know how to do my homework I couldn't go to her for help; therefore my homework didn't get done. I never went to her for anything as a child. I knew to not bother her because it could be bad for me.
Anyone that can use and abuse someone and sleep soundly and think they did nothing wrong is evil. In my opinion. It isn't just a brain problem it is a heart problem when it comes to Narcissists and maybe it is a soul problem as well.
Narcissists walk in darkness and they hate the truth.
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Above anything else, narcissists are empty. Empty of inner resources, and unable to even participate in social situations with any idea of reciprocity. Everything - absolutely every little thing! - is a contest, and a contest which the narc must ‘win’ in their own eyes. If you have a car, they have a ‘better’ car - or at least they claim to. Rinse and repeat for an entire empty and wasted lifetime. Just imagine it…
I have known narcs to do intensely evil things and some of them seem to do them for pleasure. Some say that they lack ‘empathy’, but they have enough ‘negative empathy’ to say and do things for the sole purpose of hurting a person. Then that person is criticised further for ‘over-reacting’ to ‘a little joke’. If you want to know whether their behaviour is ‘evil’ or not, I suggest you place close attention to the things which please them, and how those things please them.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Are-narcissists-good-people-who-are-just-bad-to-be-around-They-dont-seem-to-understand-humans-Is-there-an-inherently
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Do narcissists ever
really forget you?
A narcissist won't forget you, even if they act like nothing happened. Once they're done with you, it might seem like they move on quickly, but they don't. If you've been with someone for a long time, you can't forget them overnight. Even though a narcissist lacks empathy, they remember you and the benefits you brought to their life. They are extremely jealous and still think you belong to them, even after you've left.
A narcissist won't forget what you gave them or how you made them feel. They're addicted to control and always want to know what you're doing. They will never get over their need for control and the pleasure it brings them. Like an alcoholic hiding a bottle, a narcissist knows where you are and keeps track of you.
The relationship with a narcissist was an illusion, and so is their behavior afterward. They may seek revenge and blame you for everything because you didn't meet their expectations. A narcissist believes their own lies and finds it easier to blame you and make you feel like the problem.
A narcissist's happiness is just an illusion. They may come back when new relationships don't meet their needs. They are afraid you'll move on and be happy without them. To them, everything is black and white; if you're doing well, they feel like they're losing.
A narcissist leaves not because of you, but because of their own issues. They might appear happy with someone new but can always find a reason to come back to you. They won't be honest about their feelings, just as they weren't when you were together.
You'll hear from a narcissist again because they can't forget what you offered them. They remember you as the person who exposed them and escaped their control, but they'll see you negatively. You won't forget what they did, which helps you keep them out of your life. You deserve peace and better treatment.
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I am so very sorry. No. They don’t miss you.
They don’t miss your jokes, because they didn’t actually think they were funny in the first place. They don’t miss going out with you, because they were paranoid the whole time of bumping into one of their other targets.
They don’t miss spending the night with you, because that was just a necessary thing they had to tolerate in order to get laid. They don’t miss the phone calls, because they never really had any interest in what you had to say, anyway.
They wanted to see if they could catch your eye.
And, they did.
They wanted to see if they could entertain you and get you interested in talking to them.
And, they did.
They wanted to see how you would react if they told you everything you wanted to hear.
And, they did.
They wanted to know if they could.
So, they did.
It was all for show. The whole entire thing was for show, and to see if they could. And, now that it’s done, they aren’t interested in you. They just wanted to know how you would respond to them. So, they found out, and that was enough for them. They’re done now and moving along. I’m so sorry.
No. They don’t miss you, because they never actually wanted you.
PLEASE KNOW:
It isn’t because your jokes aren’t funny. They’re humor is broken.
It isn’t because you aren’t worthy of going on a date. You’re magnificent, and deserve such treatment. It’s that you aren’t the only one they were grooming.
It isn’t because sleeping next to you is torturous. You are a comfort, for sure. They just don’t know how to be comforted.
It isn’t because you don’t have anything interesting to say. It is because they are so self absorbed, they cannot imagine the experiences you are telling them. So, holding a conversation is tedious, to them.
None of these things is because you are lacking in anything. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY worth missing. They just don’t have the capacity to do so. I am so sorry. They lied about all of it.
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No, they cannot genuinely miss you, as in you as a person — your values, beliefs, personality and identity.
They only miss what you provided them, which was their narcissistic supply source. They miss what they could take from you. They miss having an emotional punching bag they could abuse to pump up their egomaniacal delusions.
They miss having a person that trusted them which allowed them to hide things, lie, cheat and steal at their pleasure. They miss having someone to manipulate and use. They miss all of that in you because maintaining a victim is easier than hunting, snaring and securing a new victim.
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Yes, narcissist do miss people, but I have found the narcissists in my life miss you in the way they miss a misplaced tool. What I mean is they miss having the use of you in the same way they do a favorite screwdriver.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-really-forget-you
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:evillaugh:
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What are narcissists
best at?
Their true talent, the gift in which they excel, is to hurt and destroy the people who love them the most.
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They're very good at analyzing people.
They're skilled at studying and observing your reactions to see how you handle certain situations. For example, when they don't call you back, they pay attention to your response. This helps them gauge whether they can manipulate you further.
When you have strong boundaries and hold them accountable without wavering, the narcissist understands they can't manipulate you easily. They observe these small details from the beginning. If you're someone who lets things go or doesn't make a big deal out of it, let's say the narcissist ghosted you multiple times, they realize they can cheat on you because you don't confront them or take action, yet you remain in the relationship.
Narcissists can identify who they can manipulate and who they can't. That's why they study you, to understand how to manipulate you effectively. They assess how much you're willing to tolerate and how much you won't tolerate.
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Lying. How do you know they are lying? Their mouths are moving. Believe nothing they ever told you or even showed you. Don’t even believe their name.
Destroying their own lives. Anything they ever did failed, and anything they ever will do will fail. Their mental maggots will self-sabotage every. single. time.
Self-hatred. They know deep down they are worthless. That is why they require the praise or negative energy of others. It fuels them.
Worst Parent Award (this counts: being best at being the worst). Ghosts the other parent or accuses them of something hideous so they must stay away. Won’t let even a teen out of their sight. Puts the kid’s safety at risk by the revolving door of supply, including whores.
Puts themselves over the kid. My NarcoPath became a stripper and made the teen come to the show—kid is probably scarred. We were done then, but the past supply told me about it, and there was video. Also, NarcoPath, manipulates kids and makes them feel bad about being kids. NarcoPath would not buy the kid good food or would guilt the kid by having only the kid eat and say things like, “There is not enough for me, but I can do without…” (OK, histrionic).
Cheating. If you don’t think your narc cheated, please go get tested for STD’s anyway because they did.
Masters of the Temporary Mask. They are the best I ever met at creating an illusion of a great person. But it falls off shortly after to reveal the cruel tornado shite show.
Wasting Money. Classes they don’t attend, degrees they never finish, projects unfinished and left to collect dust. Car that is luxury brand and nice outside but transmission and engine are shite. Buying expensive gifts for others to impress but not enough money to pay their own bills. NarcoPath paid for friends’ luxury vacation but literally bought me nothing for a holiday.
Looking Good. And they will tell you. And they will want you to tell them. They go to yoga and the gym and dance to maintain that hot body. But it doesn’t last. However, their rotten shite brain and moral repugnance lasts forever.
Stealing. Check your stuff. They stole something…guaranteed.
Hurting People. Using all of the above, plus abuse and gaslighting and discard. And it hurts now, but it won’t forever.
Best Slob. I will bet your Narc had a dirty house or hoarder house. you might have had to clean up after them if you lived together, or you would get to live in squalor.
Being Stuck and Remembered as a Revolting Human Forever and Ever. They are stuck being them. As I said before, they are Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas, but at least he was funny. Take that sack off of them and all they are inside are maggots. Sorry to insult maggots. Imagine that life.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-narcissists-best-at
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Can a narcissist act like they are in love? Can they convince themselves that they are?
Yes, narcissists are quite adept at acting like they are in love. Often, they really are infatuated with someone in the beginning of a relationship, so it's debatable whether or not it's an act. As they aren't capable of actually loving anyone, it isn't real but they can believe it is…for a while.
But until their infatuation (lust or obsession) wears off, they can act completely besotted with you to the point that you are convinced this narcissist loves you more than anyone ever has.
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I suspect that “I love you” goes through a filter in a narcissist’s brain before it exits their lips.
What they really mean to say is, “I love the way you make me feel” or “I love the things you give me.” Their feelings of love, then, are directly related to all things positive that they associate with you—good times, good sex, good company, good (fill in the blank here). “Love” is one big happy hormone party; it’s a very selfish emotion.
Which isn’t the same thing as “I love you”. Not at all. To really love someone, you have to be okay with a lot of things. You have to be okay with being disappointed in them at times. Pissed off at them sometimes. You have to actively admit that there are some things that you really don’t like about them … but there are far more positive things about them than there are negatives.
Narcissists, as I understand it, are very easy to disappoint. They’re not good with disappointment, or being bored or let down in any way, shape, or form. They view every imperfection as a fatal flaw.
So I think that they are lying to two people: to themselves, and the person they tell, “I love you.”
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Yes, they will.
Some of them don’t love you, know it and only pretend; during the love bombing phase. Who they really are comes out when they start being abusive; during devaluation.
For others, they truly believe they’re in love. The narc I was married to is a covert. He was able to seem in love because he behaved as if he was (during love bombing).
The truth is; he was high on supply, the attention he was getting and the love I felt for him. He didn’t marry me because he loved me, he married me because I loved him.
Narcissists are addicts. Without supply, they would have to face themselves and most of them have no desire to self reflect and face the fact they’re the common denominator is a trail of broken hearts and relationships.
When the relationship ends, they immediately get into another one. They’re “in love” again. If the new relationship ends, same thing. On to the next and they’re “in love” with them too. A pattern emerges and finally, you realize just how toxic they were and are.
In love? No, not love. It’s really self centered attention seeking.
The addict looking for their next fix. An endless yearning to fill a void that they’ll never fill.
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-narcissist-act-like-they-are-in-love-Can-they-convince-themselves-that-they-are
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Do narcissists really feel empty inside?
If you’ve experienced their abuse, you know what’s really going on inside them.
When a narcissistic relationship reaches a certain point, two things often happen:
Loss of Good Feelings: The things that once made the narcissist feel good and caused them deep envy are now gone.
Negative Feelings Take Over: They are left with feelings they don’t want to face, like confusion, betrayal, anger, and worthlessness. You become a reflection of their unwanted true self.
After this shift, the narcissist may feel:
Powerful: They feel strong for having defeated someone they see as an enemy.
Amused: They take pleasure in watching you struggle with feelings that they themselves couldn’t handle.
Validated: They believe they are better than you because they think they made you feel this way.
If only they were truly empty inside.
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It is said that they feel empty inside. That they don't have a life as the rest of us know it. They feel that they've got nothing going for them. That's why they mirror and copy other people. Part of their "filling up" is done in this way.
They will do this to fit in with another individual or a group. Their acting is carefully planned to get where they want to be, usually close to a potential victim. Once involved in the life of another person, as a friend, a lover, a business arrangement or whatever, they proceed to suck that person dry of energy, money, or anything they can get.
This is more of their filling up, however it's insatiable, they keep doing it. They are never truly "full".
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Nobody's home. A blow up doll has more emotion and life. If you keep looking ya might find a little dirty boy or girl crying for their mama. I wouldn't go there, the li'l demon child might bite you.
Or you'll find the fictitious narc in there with a superman costume on. Don't go there either.
In the movies, a person will knock on the door. After no one answers, they will open the door that somehow is always unlocked
“Hello? ….helloooo? Narc are you home?”
After you get silence, run. And i mean run like bloody Hell.
You're getting ready to walk in on psychotic episode of evil clowns, demons, demonic self, children's toys everywhere, hearing a little kid constantly crying “maaaaawmmmeee, where are you?”
Go in and try to go up the stairs if you want to! After you're midway up the stairs, everything goes black. You're in complete darkness hearing circus music. Followed by clips of your narc as a kid severely abused and or neglected. Make it to the top being nosey. I wont be there. The black person always dies first!
After I ring the doorbell, I'm out.
I'll stand in the street looking though. Nightmare on Elm street live? And I'm safe? I gotta see this. You'll unknowingly walk into the bottomless Pit that is going to suck every normal thing out of you. Spit you back out with nothing but the shell of you.
Stay at the door. Don't go in.
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In my opinion, what makes us human is love, happiness, being kind and facing the truth. Life can be that simple.
When I am kind to others, I feel happier. When I face the truth, life makes more sense to me.
Now if you try to think the way narcissists lead their lives, all becomes heavy and complicated. Their lives become a complex day full of lies, cheating, rages, drama and so many strategies to destroy. What do you think such a human can feel inside?
Most probably great fear of pay back from the victims and what can they look forward to?
More of the same.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-really-feel-empty-inside
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What do narcissists lack?
Narcissists (People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder) lack the following:
Genuine Self-Esteem - Narcissists cannot form accumulative self esteem the way a non-narcissist can; instead they adopt Grandiosity - a sort of short cut to Fast-Track Self Esteem as a way to fill the gap.
Emotional Empathy - Brain scans taken of diagnosed narcissists have revealed that they lack much grey matter in the anterior singulate cortex, a part of the brain that generates and harbors emotional empathy - they tend to experience little to no emotional empathy for other people.
Whole Object Relations / Object Constancy - WOR is the ability to see one’s self and others in an integrated and realistic way involving both liked and dislike parts; Object Constancy is the ability to still retain positive regard or attachment to someone even when you are upset with them - per expert Elinor Greenberg PHD, without WOR/OC you can only see yourself and other people as either All-Good OR All-Bad, with No grey or in-between.
Ability to experience Long-Term Satisfaction - Self-Aware narcissists here on Quora will tell you that they cyclically experience.
Happiness for others or themselves.
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Empathy, mostly.
Plus morals, self control, ability to be humble, parenting skills, ability to love whole- heartedly. Manners.
And sometimes you believe they have no soul either.
And possibly a heartbeat.
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Self awareness, personal identity, self esteem, a moral compass, compassion, ability to truly love another, backbone, self control, self reflection. True happiness.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-lack
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Why do narcissists
tell lies?
Narcissists are pathological liars. Narcissists lie because they feel as if they have a right to whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want. They lie to ensure they're able to dominate, manipulate, exploit, and silence people. They lie to maintain their false reality, and they lie because the truth makes them uncomfortable.
Narcissists also experience extreme shame; they feel shame when people find out they have made a mistake. A narcissist doesn't want to look flawed at any cost to avoid being shamed.
The worst thing is that narcissists believe they are telling the truth. Narcissists just want to see themselves as right and perfect in front of people, so they keep lying.
Narcissists lie to save themselves, not because their honesty will hurt you.
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They don’t have a sense of their own self. They don’t see people as individuals. They don’t think that they will last wherever they are. They are concerned with delusions of grandeur and are constantly future faking themselves.
They lie because they need you to say what they want to hear, so they tell you what you want to hear. They want a mirror. They want a fiction of their own self, and they want YOU to be the guardian of that fake borrowed self they invented.
They manipulate you to get what they want. They keep you around as long as you are of use to them. They are con artists.
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Duper's Delight! They enjoy playing mind games to see if they can get you to buy into some BS. When they succeed they feel superior. Even though actually being a liar makes them inferior to an honest person when it comes to being honest. But they don't see it that way, they don’t value honesty, they value winning, by hook or by crook.
They are only looking for the win NOT for the truth. So they will try any line of BS to test how gullible you are, with small lies to begin with, to see how much manipulative behavior they can get you to accept and persuade you they are still a “good” person.
They are “the people of the lie” If you stay in a relationship with a known liar, you are not winning; you are losing even if you succeed in proving they are lying in that instance. Once you get that niggling doubt that you are not getting the whole story don't wait for the other shoe to drop – get out while the gettin’ is good.
As M. Scott Peck says: “While they seem to lack any motivation to be good, they intensely desire to appear good. Their "goodness" is all on a level of pretense. It is, in effect, a lie. That is why they are the "people of the lie". High-Demand|Malignant Narcissism|Quotes from Peck's 'People of the Lie'|Geftakys Assembly|Spiritual Abuse & Cultic Tendencies.
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Because they are stupid and/or ignorant!
However, THEY think they are superior to everyone else, so there’s NO WAY anyone could possibly disprove/dispute/detect their constant lying. But like I said, they are actually stupid idiots who have NO idea how the real world really works and how smart the rest of us truly are!!!!
They do the same stupid, idiotic shite over and over again thinking they will get different results ‘next time’……and it just doesn’t work that way, but they keep on doing it! Their lies eventually come back to bite them in the ass as well, but they just can’t foresee the consequences….. and they pay no attention to hindsight either!
I’ve actually witnessed my ‘N-ex’ self-destruct because he tries to lie, cheat, deceive and manipulate his way out of all of the bad choices & decisions he makes. He is in complete ruins but keeps making the same bad choices & decisions over and over and over. Did I mention how STUPID they actually are????
https://decodingnarcissism.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-tell-lies
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Why does a Narcissist
seek to destroy?
Some reasons I found why narcissistic parents wanted to “destroy” me:
They want to destroy you because you are no longer accepting them or their toxic behavior. To be clear, the narcissist is perfectly okay with rejecting you. They especially will find the right moment in public.
A narcissist as in someone with narcissistic personality disorder lack a true sense of themselves. They must gain a sense of self through others. Further, to aggravate this mental illness, they are compelled to feel better and more powerful than others. They can only achieve this by putting people down—making people feel small.
How to stop a narcissist from destroying you?
The only thing that can stop a narcissist is by you not engaging with them.
The battle you are trying to win is not losing yourself.
Set the boundaries, GO NO CONTACT and NEVER NEVER LOOK BACK.
They are what they are and you now KNOW the TRUTH - Now continue forward.
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Inflicting pain on others is the only way they can measure who won. Winning is their personal balm it relieves a little pain from being unlovable and unworthy. Winning at least proves to the loser that he/she is the best. You lost, you are not. That feels so good, let’s play this game again.
A few minutes of gloating passes and suddenly they sense- it’s still not enough. So, they search about for someone else they can challenge, cheat, or simply beat. This time they need to hear the pain, see the pain, and witness the pleading of full surrender before they stop. Maybe blood will prove that I won. That’s glorious this time for hours.
Then the need to hurt someone badly just to feel OK bubbles up.
That’s the feeling they crave again.
But, they have to find an innocent victim to assault. Perhaps they can do this to a friend, employee, parent, sibling, stranger, child, dog, baby, anyone. Being such a coward they need to find a victim who will not talk. They realize they need someone to make this happen.
“Someone pure and innocent will never squeal, if I make them fall in love with me.” Hmmm, how about a “willing volunteer” that I can train to take it daily? What do I have to do to get someone I don’t know to abuse?
Then one day, they decide “to confuse the volunteer by making them fall in love with me very deeply. Charm them, love them, say all those loving things - then abuse them whenever I can.” They copy famous lovers from the movies.
That goes on like this until the challenge feels disgusting to continue beating someone that foolishly is still in love with me. So, oops the next beating is too severe. Threats are made. Time to run. Find a recruit to train and test, just this time do a better job.
Who will be my next “willing volunteer?”
This is what their life becomes.
Some get so good they can be sneaky about it. Covert acts causes emotional pain, but staying put to hurt the willing victims slowly over many decades. That requires many more devices in their toolbox. Revenge, torture, and betrayal blend into a lethal mix. But the pain is torturous and can be savored for many years. Some narcissists prefer never getting caught because they fear their own beat down coming from a cop, judge, or their cellmate.
Victims of a covert narcissist often feel as they are struggling against a phantom brooding cloud. One should understand that all these micro-changes in behavior are just the disorder seizing new opportunities in exploiting someone who loves or is completely innocent of what is coming next. This disorder is not logical to the recruit, so they bring more love to heal the wounds of the narcissist. A job that can only be accomplished by that exact predator who secretly covers up who he/she is in public.
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Because they know they are trash people who cannot become anything better, and they carry a lot of hostility and hold grudges for a lifetime; and so, what better way to get back at the world than to destroy an innocent person who loves them?
Think about it, they want to destroy an innocent person, who also loves them.
That trauma bond they give you is the equivalent of what they want to do to themselves, but they are too cowardly.
Instead of destroying themselves, they intend to destroy you.
Trash. I mean, who does that?
Only someone who is pure trash.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Why-does-a-Narcissist-seek-to-destroy
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Why do narcissists like
to waste your time?
When the narcissist wastes your time, you begin to fall behind. You stop doing the things that make you stronger; you stop doing things that attract attention to you. Instead you chase your tail; you chase the marvellous person you think is hidden inside the narcissist.
This is a waste of time because that person doesn't exist. With your help, the narcissist cobbled this character together in order to keep you wasting your time trying to force the narcissist to put on that character, when they really don't want to.
You'll have to bribe them.
Even if they did want to put this character on, or even if it were really them, you’d still just waste time gazing at them adoringly all day long. Don't feel bad though —
you're definitely not the only one whose time the narcissist is wasting.
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Because they know your time is more precious than theirs, and it hurts.
In the same amount of time a neurotypical would see a beautiful day, a narcissist would see how much more beautiful the day could be and waste the whole thing.
They waste your time because they're angry, bitter, no fun to be around and jealous.
And sometimes they waste your time because they literally can not believe that they are.
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One of the first main points that victims and targets need to understand is that the narcissist is using you for your ENERGY. Energy is also monetary in a sense. For example, how many Dior purses did you purchase for your female ex-narcissist, and if so, how many hours of your salaried or hourly wages was that? Everything comes from energy, and your energy was stolen to pay for their needs.
These people are just truly evil and will use you up until you have no more to give. Then they steal from you too, use your credit, and use you for sex all the while telling you “I love you.”
They don’t love you, they love what you can do for them.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-like-to-waste-your-time
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Is a narcissist capable of becoming a nice person?
Absolutely not!
It's a lifetime condition. Narcissists can't become nice people. To become a nice person, you need to have good morals, positive thinking, honesty, loyalty, caring, understanding, and integrity. Narcissists don't have anything positive. Just think they don't have anything good in them. If narcissists are doing good for someone or people, they have motives.
Narcissists are selfish, parasitic, selfish, and abusive. Narcissists only want their needs met. Whatever narcissists want, they will take it; it doesn't matter whether they are using unhealthy tactics. Narcissists will behave badly in every field. Another problem is that narcissists are pathologically jealous and envious, so they just can't see anyone doing good.
If narcissists had the ability to change, then there wouldn't have been so many complaints from people worldwide.
Narcissists are going to remain evil forever.
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Absolutely! A person with narcissistic personality disorder can become a VERY NICE person. They do so to manipulate and satisfy whatever their primal urges lust for. My ex was a VERY NICE person to me for many years. Little did I know during those years where I thought our love was growing, he was actively stealing my identity and cloning me prolifically.
His crafty smear campaign against AllThingsTerry was well under way. In fact, after investing 20+ years with this VERY NICE, but lazy as f*ck, unmotivated, brainfucker, and saboteur of AllThingsTerry, I only saw the real him a few years after he left…why then? Because he wanted me to.
These pricks are twisted and sick and deviant beyond the imagination of most folks. IF one is being “nice” to you, look around and ask questions…set up a few tiny cameras, because when they are “nice”, they are stabbing your back with that familiar smirk on their faces.
Dichotomous.
Chameleon.
Machiavellian.
Two…no, more like TWENTY-FACED (one for everyone with whom they are currently conning).
Masters of mimicry (They seem so perfect at first, don’t they?)
Looking back at my wasted time, had I only invested a few bucks in a tiny camera, I could have saved myself from a lot. I could have replaced him with a real man, a nice man. Looking back helps me to better understand what happened and when.
When MY ex was nicest to me, the timing correlates to him f*cking other married men in our rural community. When MY ex was nicest to me, he was generating clones of me and crafting usernames to bait other men, like “boygozdown”. When MY ex was nicest to me it was ONLY to ensure his ongoing ability to do horrible things to me.
Give up on your Pollyanna thinking. Figure out why you are tolerating garbage in your life. Spend some time alone without a romantic interest. Like, a few years, at least. Get into therapy. Pray. Pray. Pray. Get sober (if you are not yet). Address your fears, voids, and flaws NOW, and then, ENJOY THIS BEAUTIFUL EXPERIENCE OF LIFE.
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No and let’s not use the word “nice".
People who aren’t narcs need to learn to be LESS nice and to have some bark and bite and self interest and to not allow “empathy” to be used against them as a weapon.
Narcissists are not capable of behaving in non violent ways they are control freaks And masters of disguise they don’t change no . Your only choice is to get out ASAP and unfortunately depending.
On the type the reason they are so effective with the abuse is because they prey on people and then end up staying with people who have high levels of empathy and who are more patient and can self regulate . This is a recipe for disaster.
F*CK “NICE “.
Learn how to say NO.
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How can you ask if a narcissist can become a nice person? I assume you mean kind caring and concerned for people?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is having NO empathy.
What is the key to being nice? Caring about people
What do you need to care about people?
EMPATHY
If you are in a relationship with someone you know has NPD and you lack the insight to understand what that means on a basic level please seek therapy before deciding to stay so they can explain properly that this is not something that can be changed.
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They are truly extraordinary.
At first, they exude the utmost kindness, charm, consideration, humor, gallantry, and empathy one could ever encounter.
Yet, once you let your guard down, all those qualities vanish into an abyss, never to return.
Then, after disintegrating your spirit with their manipulative verbal assaults, they revert to being the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful and caring person you've ever known—until they inevitably aren't.
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They are often capable of masking their intentions by being “nice” as a tool to deceive and manipulate others, but until they cease to become narcissists the answer would be no. People are capable of changing, it happens more than people think, but they have to change because they want to, not as a manipulation tool.
https://abnormalpsychology101.quora.com/Is-a-narcissist-capable-of-becoming-a-nice-person
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Can a narcissist realize they lost a real one?
If they can,
what do they do?
BWAHAHAHA! That is the reaction most people who have survived a relationship with a narcissist will have to that question.
Why? Because, sweetheart, every single person who gets involved with those lovers from Hell, seriously believe that they are “the one.” That's what narcissists do that is so destructive to our psyches.
These are things they tell you to make you believe they actually think you are what they have been searching for their entire life:
YOU AND YOU alone are what they need to complete them.
YOU understand them and no one else ever has.
YOU make them want to be a better man/woman.
Until YOU, they had never made love, only had meaningless sex.
YOU are their soulmate.
YOU are the first person they have ever trusted.
They love YOUR innate intelligence because it makes you capable of having a real conversation instead of mindless babble.
YOU must have been lovers in a past life because the connection between you is so strong.
As long as they have YOU, their life has real meaning.
YOU are the cure for their insomnia.
YOU have all the traits they want in a life mate.
If YOU ever leave, they will never be able to love again.
Every relationship they had dims when compared to what they have with YOU.
YOU are strong, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, kind, generous, unselfish and moral. No one in their lives has ever been so perfect.
They have never experienced real love before YOU. Being with you has made them realize that.
They want to spend the rest of their life trying to make YOU as happy as you make them.
They can't understand how it's possible that someone as wonderful as YOU could actually love them.
They believe YOU are their twin flame and unless you are with them, they will never be whole.
YOU are the only person who can save them from themselves.
THEY LOVE YOU. TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH. WITH EVERY FIBER OF THEIR BEING. MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. MORE THAN WEALTH OR FAME. THEY LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU. THEY REALLY LOVE YOU.
Bulls**t. Bulls**t. Bulls**t. The things they tell you are well used and field tested to prove they will work on even the most savvy and intelligent people alive.
Narcissists are clever. They know that if they bombard you with the sweetest, most endearing things anyone has ever said to you, YOU are likely to fall under their spell.
Lol, one of my favorite bulls**t lines from my ex was when he was talking about how much he loved his favorite ice cream which was “cookies and cream.” He looked up from his dish of it, reached across the table to take my hand and kissed it. Then, still holding my hand, he said:
“Until you, I've never had a “cookies and cream” relationship.“
Yeeech. Remembering those cloying, disgusting, over the top, tools of manipulation that regularly came out of that man's mouth, now trigger a gag reflex.
How can any thinking, sensible human being actually believe the garbage a narcissist spews? It's incredible but it works on us. We believe.
We are the “ONE.”
But so is every other person the narcissist has been in a relationship with before you. So will be every person who comes after you.
YOU are not the ONE. You are simply one more notch on their bedpost. One more mark who was taken in by a con artist. One more trusting person who was looking for an angel and ended up in bed with the devil.
You are just ONE more in a long line of people who believed they were actually special to a narcissist.
You weren't.
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Narcissists live in a fake and phony world, in which they constantly fantasize, using other people as unwilling participants in their little plays.
They are not interested in real, they hate real because it involves hard work, which is real boring. Life is painfully dull to the narcissist, so they need to overlay the world with fantasy just to remain insanely sane.
Far from wanting to get you, the realist lil *mpath back, narcissists loathe genuine people who get attention based on their honesty and authenticity. These are the kind of people they want to keep at a distance, as they effortlessly and accidentally narcissistically injure the narcissist — they'd sooner geld themselves with a spoon than hang out with real people. Besides, if you were at all real, you wouldn't care what some narcissist thought,
Because it's all fake and phony, just like them.
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Alright, let me break it down for you! When a narcissist realizes they've lost you forever, they go into a tailspin. Picture a ship that just got hit by a massive torpedo—chaotic, aimless, desperate.
First thing they'll do is PLAY VICTIM. They'll cry crocodile tears to anyone who will listen, framing you as the villain. "Oh, I gave them everything, and they still left me!" They'll say, as if they didn't suck the life out of you like a leech. They'll make sure their pain is on display for the whole world to see, hoping for a pity party.
Second, they'll PROJECT like they're in an IMAX theater. "You're the narcissist! You're the one who needs help!" They'll twist reality to paint themselves as innocent, taking the spotlight off their manipulation. Classic! It's a defensive maneuver straight out of the Narcissist's Playbook.
Next comes REVENGE MODE. They'll try to sabotage anything positive in your life. They'll badmouth you to friends, family, and even at work. They'll stalk your social media, looking for any sign of your happiness so they can crush it. It's because your well-being is a slap to their ego.
Fourth, they might DANGLE THE CARROT of reconciliation. "I’ve changed. I realize now how much I’ve hurt you. Let's talk." It's their sneaky way to get a foot back into your life. They'll say whatever they need to say, do whatever they need to do to reel you back in. But remember, it's all a game to them.
Then, comes the SHAMELESS REPLACEMENT phase. They'll flaunt a new person around like a shiny new toy, making sure you see it. Social media posts, public outings—anything to provoke jealousy. It's their way of saying, "Look, I’m still desirable! Look what you missed out on!" Desperate, isn’t it?
But here’s the kicker—they'll CRUMBLE INTERNALLY. Oh, they'll never show it. The bravado, the posting, the projection—it's all a mask. Deep down, they're devastated because you slipping through their fingers exposes the gaping void inside them. They aren’t capable of genuine love, but they love the control and attention you gave them.
And eventually, they'll move onto another victim. That’s all you ever were—a source of supply. Someone they could extract their narcissistic needs from. It's a relentless cycle, a never-ending quest to fill their bottomless pit of an ego.
So, remember, while it seems like a whirlwind of chaotic responses, it all boils down to one thing: their Fragile. Egotistical. Self. Once they’ve lost you, they’re spiraling out of control, desperately trying to regain that power, that superiority.
But YOU? You're free. Free from their toxicity. Free from their manipulation. Their chaos is no longer your chaos. You've won, and that fact alone is what destroys them the most. Stay strong and keep moving forward. Never look back.
Boom! There it is. That’s what happens when a narcissist realizes they've lost you forever.
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-narcissist-realize-they-lost-a-real-one-If-they-can-what-do-they-do
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How can a narcissist be surprised when you kick them out of your life
after years of abuse?
Yes.
They thought you were bluffing. Their system tells them you may threaten it, but you will never leave. If they did their job properly, you are too insecure/poor/isolated to think about it- so it means they did something wrong- and narcissists don’t like that.
They don’t actually care about you leaving- they never loved you, so it doesn’t much matter, but it is a blow to the ego, and they will have to regroup, smear you in case you tell tales about them, and get a replacement asap (they will always have a few side supplies they can rely on).
But the priority now is not the narcissist- it is you, and getting you through this to recovery. Well done- you have done the most difficult bit, now you need to block the narcissist, so the manipulations stop (they will make a point of trying to get you back to show their power over you, and so they can do the leaving ) and learn about narcissism, so you know what comes next.
You are not out of the woods yet- you have to rebuild your life, reconnect with your old friends, rebuild your self esteem, and go through the pain of giving up on your dream- but you can do it. And the more you know about narcissism, the easier it will be. The best book I found for this purpose is Is There A Narcissist In Your Life? Amanda Clymont, Amazon.
It is a good general guide, without psychobabble. It covers romantic relationships but also goes into narcissism generally, and narcissists as bosses, colleagues, friends, so it is a good guide to how to deal with them. Importantly, it also has a checklist of traits-red flags- so you can learn to identify them, and then you can live a narcissist-free life. You will never regret it.
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NO.
They perfectly know what they are all about and so, know that each relationship will always fail. For them as long as the daily supply is secured, that is enough.
Believe because it really is.
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Yes. When they realize you’re actually not coming back this time, it shocks them to their very core. You may have left them/stormed out of the house etc several times before, and they thought this was one of those times. But nope. This time you actually blocked them and cut off all communication because you simply had enough. And their pathetic little minds cannot comprehend this. Their house of cards crumbles.
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Deep inside they are not surprised at all. Actually they are more surprised you stayed so long.
But a narcissist would act surprised, to blame you for everything.
It's nothing wrong to have boundaries. It's actually important to have to protect yourself. A narcissist hates that. So when the narcissist cross the boundaries and you leave. The narcissist understand why, but act surprised and blame you for everything that happened in the relationship. Even if you didn't do anything wrong at all.
Never take back a narcissist. It will be even worse the next time.
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They are, and they aren't.
They've planned this out from the start- to get all of the “supply” they can out of you for as long as they can, (sex, money you give them, etc.)
And once you begin refusing to give them those things- they begin to focus almost solely on their other victims.
They still will come back to you if you leave the door open- that's why you need to completely block them on everything and never speak to them again.
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They are both surprised and not surprised. I think on some level they know their behavior will drive people away but their little minds really hope they can keep being abusive and you will just stay and take it.
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Yes, definitely.
And it will be the worst rejection ever, so would you want to get back together at a later date (after they told you they’ve changed), it will be payback on steroids. Because a) it proves that you can’t live without them, b) you are desperate and nobody else wanted you and c) the reasons you left them for, were not that bad since you’re going for Round 2.
They believe they are good people and all the issues are due to your insecurities, because of your neediness, you being petty etc. They just think they are living their lives like everybody else and you are the one trying to nitpick on everything and cause trouble.
The reasons you will give them to leave will also be dismissed as being petty, you not being invested anyway and using them, etc.
But when they realize that they can’t manipulate you in staying, all the niceness to get you to stay around will evaporate and it will get nasty.
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They are “surprised” at how long it took you to “figure” them out.
It’s like for them you’ve finally won the Nobel Prize.
Once you set the boundaries then it’s time for the finale “speech” before they have to “walk away” from you. They do this intentionally because every relationship that failed for them ended in the same result of someone leaving them behind after a while of deceiving, conniving and abusing.
It’s their grandiosity and entitlement that keeps them a little “surprised”.
Apparently they see us as “property”. They don’t think that their little doormats want that fight or have the guts. There would be hell to pay. Underestimation is your best friend. They don’t like it when you discard them.
You get to narc the narc! Cut that fuel line and leave them scrambling with no back up. It’s gratifying. I’m glad I did it. It was the right thing to do. Give them what they’ve been begging for… but do it with the element of surprise…ABANDONMENT.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-a-narcissist-be-surprised-when-you-kick-them-out-of-your-life-after-years-of-abuse
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It takes 18–24 months to have your nervous system calm down after narcissistic abuse. Many more therapists are seeing PTSD after narcissistic abuse driving the psychological community to put “narcissistic abuse syndrome” in a future DSM. Healing from these relationships are difficult because the conditioning and intermittent reward / punishment used causes victims /survivors to have to work on feeling safe in the world even after the relationship ends. Many survivors describe their experience as seeing “evil” or a “ monster” and this is very different than breaking up with someone and just being mad. Keep healing survivors .
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:lol: :pigsfly: :rofl:
Maximum Overdrive
A group of people try to survive when machines start to come alive and become homicidal.
When Earth passes through the tail of Rea-M rogue comet, the machines come to life and start to kill mankind. A group of survivors is under siege from fierce trucks at the Dixie Boy truck stop gas station and they have to fight to survive.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091499/
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What happens after you
humiliate a narcissist?
Do NOT EVER intentionally try to publicly "humiliate" a narcissist. It's hard enough to stay on the eggshells to keep from unintentionally "humiliating" the narcissist.
Intentionally "humiliating" people is the narcissist favorite pastime. Unless you are totally prepared to go for the kill or engage in a lifetime war, DON'T do it.
You're going to wind up wrestling with a pig, you're going to get dirty, and the pig is going to like it. There IS a much better way of dealing with a narcissist and that is ignoring them when they're trying to humiliate you.
A narcissist will often expose their true selves to other people by trying to "humiliate" a person who is doing nothing to them except ignoring them. When you ignore a narcissist, you ARE "humiliating" THEM.
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Hell breaks open!! They will dispute what you're saying and call you a liar to your face. They will be so angry, and the outcome will not be pretty. Rage will show it's ugly face.
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They will lose their mind because they can no longer control you for one. Their biggest fears are abandonment, rejection, humiliation, shame, and being exposed for who they really are to the people they have manipulated.
I recently caught a narc ex gf cheating but didn’t tell her I knew. I strung her along for a month to get some money she owed to me (I got every penny even though she tried everything to get out of paying me). I then contacted her ex bf (who she fought to keep me away from as she abused and cheated on him for 10 years, she REALLY didn’t want me getting his side of the story).
He told me everything about what a terrible person she is. We went out to eat, took a selfie together, and I posted it on social media. When she saw it she went ballistic and texted me “what you have done is the most hurtful thing anyone could possibly do to me.” I then replied thanks for my money, that I knew she was cheating on me and a total whore, and have fun explaining all this to all your friends, family, and children (they saw the post too).
She’s a 35 year old single mommy with two baby daddy’s and a lying, selfish, trashy, alcoholic, skank. All her friends, her kids and her family loved me. She can’t play the victim in this situation. I’d say I won the war, especially since this closes the door forever and I will never go back to her.
Catching a mentally ill person cheating is a total blessing. You can now walk away permanently and start the process of truly healing.
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It makes them crazy(er).
Not only have they lost control over you (using gaslighting and manipulation) as someone pointed out here…they are now EXPOSED for the cons and frauds they really are! And there is nothing a narc hates more than being exposed.
They are pathological liars who often actually believe their own lies, which makes them even more believable to everyone. They build their lives on sand, and put all their energy into maintaining the illusion of who they want to believe they are.
It took me about 30 years to finally bust mine and figure out what was going on. We did NOT know what NPD was in ‘my day’ (I’m almost 71 now) and I am so glad that people are now finally seeing it!
After I busted mine for serial cheating and pathological lying - he ran in the bathroom and threw up. I posted out (w/email evidence) what he’d been doing to me for years. And all he could say was: “How could you do this to meeeee?” No - “I’m sorry” or anything else of that nature.
After all his betrayals and abuse (decades) - he still saw it as ‘me’ doing it to ‘him’. This is how they think. And now, everyone knew. Most of ‘our’ friends stayed my friends. Our sons stood by me. He was now known for what he was.
This was over a decade ago, and he has simply erased it from his mind. That is another thing they do. He even went on to betray our own child when he was dying from cancer. Again - this is what they do. They do NOT live in reality.
They do NOT grow up, and remain somewhere between 4 - 14 for their entire lives (emotionally, not intellectually). They do not understand what it means to be compassionate towards others. They demand absolute loyalty, while they give NONE!
So do not expect it to get better after they are exposed. They do NOT learn. Their behavior patterns are hard-wired into them from birth by parents who are just like them. BUT…there is some perverse satisfaction in exposing them and vindicating yourself for the years of abuse and betrayal that you could never quit put your finger on…until you do.
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Either you face revenge if you attack him out of nowhere or you will make him to respect you if your humiliation is adequate response to something he did to you.
Narcissist is not that stupid he understands what he does and only does that because he can go unpunished, and he will not risk facing your revenge just to have few seconds of pleasure if he knows that you are capable of serious retaliation.
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You will get hurt, sometimes badly.
A narcissist is very thin skinned and does not tolerate any disrespectful behavior. In their mind, they are very smart and very entitled. They need to be in control of everything and everyone around them. They are also very emotionally immature. Think about arrested development.
If you piss them off, they will throw a temper tantrum of epic proportions. It could get physical, which is not good for you. They will destroy everything you have. They will try to turn your children against you, or have them taken from you. Narcs have been known to try and get you fired.
Immediate rumors will be spread about you. A narc’s favorite rumor is that you are mentally ill. It’s not worth humiliating and mocking them. Narcissists cannot be cured. The only cure for their victims is distance and going no contact.
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So that I am clear, your goal is to gain directives that will absolutely cause injury and permanent harm to a narcissist as one has undoubtedly harmed you, correct?
I wish I had super powers that could right all the wrongs done by bad people including narcissists that would accomplish just that and set the world right again, at least for a day. However, neither you nor I can “make sure” anyone collapses just as you could not ensure that a narcissist didn’t captivate, devalue, discard then damage you on a repeating loop driving you to the point of seeking the collapse of another human being.
I understand your need for revenge and the desire to outnarc a narcissist while gaining back some semblance of your former self. This wasn’t your fault and the narcissist should pay. However there are a few things you should know about NPD before you play:
*Not everything you’ve read is true or applies to every narcissist because like you, narcissists are still people, people with individual thresholds of I don’t give a f*ck and things that will make them f*ck you up more—exposure being one of those. That’s if you can make it stick.
*Not every narcissist can be exposed as some have got that aspect covered. Playing narcissist is quite different from being a narcissist. If in fact your target is truly NPD and you are not, the revenge you plan may result in your collapse, a mighty one at that.
Narcs can be quite cruel and unrelenting when doling out punishments. Some are true believers that you deserve to suffer forever for your wrongs. If you deliberately expose a narc for the sake of embarrassment, the narc will know it’s you. Narcs are notorious grudge holders. Forever quite literally means until death.
*Narcissists covet their image and find it more important than you, so while you were in love and blind, the narcissist was steps ahead ensuring that you could never easily damage that image without further destroying yours in the process. The playing field is not equal, you are at ground zero and the narc is off living his new life which you are likely not privy to. I bet the narc knows far more about you and how to shame you.
*Since humiliation is at a narcissist’s core of greatest fears as well as one of the greatest triggers for narcissistic rage, this is likely what you will get well before you attain a narcissistic collapse. Are you prepared for the rage that will ensue from poking a narcissist and threatening the very core of his existence—a bruised ego? Think this one through.
*Unless you are a spouse or family member, you will likely not enjoy the fruits of the revenge plans you seek because you are probably no longer around—the narc has probably vanished if you know too much and is keeping you far away from his new life and adventures and has likely already discredited/smeared you.
*Collapse is the end of the road for a narcissist, not usually the direct result of one former supply causing enough injury to “end” a virile narcissist for good. You are likely not the only allies/supplies this narc has and attempts at humiliation/shame/exposure is the only tool you believe holds enough value for battle. You are mistaken.
*Narcs are master manipulators with plenty of games you haven’t thought of, so the one you have thought of is the one a narc has thwarted many times more than you have thought about it.
In the end, the lamest of the lame and seemingly most useless helpless advice is the true solution: no contact. let a narc be if he is letting you be.
It’s unfair, it sucks but narcs if they are to collapse, will do it to themselves. You won’t have the satisfaction to see it most times but that just means you’ve healed and aren’t concerning yourself with the likes of a toxic person. Revenge is exhausting, usually doesn’t go as planned and often doesn’t taste as sweet as you imagined.
Imagine this, the narc is dead to you; being ignored by you is what killed him.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-after-you-humiliate-a-narcissist
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Why can't narcissists just be normal? Why do they have to play all these idiotic little games?
Because they were raised in the same chaos they present to you. Getting ignored? They were ignored. Being lied to? Empty promises? Their parents lied to them and disappointed them, too.
Understand everything you’re witnessing, the narcissist had to endure as a young person. Forced to compete with siblings for the narc parents’ attention, they learned about jealousy and triangulation. They criticize you because they were criticized.
Normal people seek connection for love and companionship. The narcissist only seeks to control, and wants retribution for the abuse & neglect they suffered. Playing these little games is how they start to control your mind, by chipping away at your self-esteem and confidence.
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Most people are pretty much fully adult by their mid-20s, though this does vary a lot by individual and life experience, but most narcissists are arrested in emotional development. They’re physically and intellectually adult but are akin to toddlers emotionally.
Adult relationships of give-and-take and mutual emotional support are alien to them and they see people as things to manipulate and get supply/attention from rather than full human beings with our own needs.
So playing games and being irresponsible allows them to get what they want without putting in any effort of their own. Some (coverts especially) have enough charm and charisma to pull this off indefinitely, faking their way through jobs, marriages, social organizations, whatever. The charmers tend to have insipid fan clubs who enable and cover and flying monkey for them because they have no lives of their own.
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They aren't normal people.
They are actually not human.
Some were psychologically and physically abused by a parent or both parents as a child. They could never do anything right, by the parents standards. Couldn't measure up. Screwed their head up. The games that they play, well that goes back to their abusive childhood.
They create an entirely different “them”. Tuck the real self away. Since their false self is imaginary, they have to constantly be on guard and protect the false image. They fool lots of people, but sometimes there will be someone that will start to see through their lies and try to expose them for the hypocrite they are.
That's when They will go into full attack mode. Protecting their mask. Every mind game, manipulation tactic and lie is to keep the false self alive and believable. You can't expect something that's atypical to act normal. You can't be normal if you're not.
________________________________
They are just angry kids, who haven't grown up since age 7–10.
Think playground bullies, surrounded by ill informed or stupid followers — those are their flying monkeys.
Sadly inside, they are almost empty vessels — choosing to fill their personal void, at high cost to everything they touch.
But no intrinsic value, within and/or of themselves.
Run away. Just because they behave like raging children, doesn't mean they need to drag you down to their level.
You are better than that. Stay positive.
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The normal for them is just the way you described it. So they are their normal self playing games and manipulating people who they can take advantage off. That’s their normal. That’s how they are wired. A narcissist perceives the world as they are.
They think people are out to get them. A narcissist has trust issues and always doubt others. We see the world as we are.
You are expecting an abnormal version of them. Which ain’t gonna happen.
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The narcissist brain never matures emotionally. At whatever point (usually between ages 4–7 I believe) they endure the abuse or trauma that they were unable to understand or process, their brain reacts in ways to save itself – the body, while parts of the mind gets left behind. May not be the best explanation.. but regardless —
They end up being a person in a 27 year old; a 36 year old; a 44 year old etc., in that body – but with the mental/emotional maturity of a 5 year old or 7 year old or what have you.
Hence, you get a very very selfish person, like a child. A person who throws tantrums like a child… usually when they don't get what they want or think they deserve – which is most everything. A person who “plays games" like a child.
A person who you cannot connect with emotionally as adults.. a person who rarely or never apologies (& when they do its usually part of their “game"). A person who is never satisfied. And on & on…
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Unfortunately, they can’t. Narcissism is a mental illness.
They learned at a very early age to use these little games as a way to survive in life.
They found that manipulation, lying were not only easy ways to get what they want but it made them feel superior to others. Now as adults, they continue lying, manipulating because this gets them what they want, enables them to get away with actions in a relationship that would normally be deal breakers, and they feel not only superior to others/supply's, but it reinforces the belief that everyone is inferior to them. Games are synonymous with narcissists.
https://www.quora.com/Why-cant-narcissists-just-be-normal-Why-do-they-have-to-play-all-these-idiotic-little-games
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Page 29
:dogrun:
Do narcissists feel accomplished when
they make you cry?
Absolutely yes. Narcissists enjoy it when they make you cry. Narcissists make you cry when things don't go their way. Narcissists will relentlessly punish you to make you feel sad, angry, and helpless. When you start crying, it makes narcissists feel powerful and under control. When you cry, narcissists see it as a victory.
Narcissists are like, "If you spoil my mood, I will make you pay for it." Narcissists main motive is that if you don't listen to them, you will pay the price in the future again. Narcissists are so wicked and cruel; they will make you cry, and they will have a good time with someone else.
Narcissists just don't care about your feelings. Narcissists do get their narcissistic supply from you when you cry for a sense of power and satisfaction. In some cases, a narcissist will make you cry and then console you to show they are feeling bad for you; it's all fake.
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Narcissists never feel accomplished. That's the problem, right? If sadistic, they would have some level of joy over your tears, power on sexual satisfaction.
Me, I can't stand it. I get really nasty if I get that. It's always some trial on emotional blackmail. And it can't work. I always listen and give a straight answer, but I am not having that.
I think if someone has ever cried for me, that would be in solitude, not stamping a foot down at the same time.
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Yes, many (NPD) narcissists will feel a sense of accomplishment or satisfaction when they make someone cry or cause them severe emotional pain.
This reaction stems from their need for control, validation, and superiority.
They may derive pleasure from seeing others in severe distress, as it reinforces their sense of power and importance.
This behavior is another way to boost their self-esteem, as it allows them to feel dominant in the relationship.
However, this satisfaction is shallow (transient) and rooted in their own insecurities rather than genuine emotional connection.
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Oh absolutely—they get off on watching their victims cry. It’s a sense of satisfaction, the tears solidify that s/he got his victim in an emotional chokehold and s/he’ll soak up those fuel-filled tears..
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Narcissists aren’t real people, and they don’t believe anyone else is real either.
Its all fake.
Narcissists are weaponized versions of humans, designed to gain as much social status in the moment as they can. They will do whatever they can in any social situation to rise to the top of the hierarchy.
Our narcissist doesn’t believe you’re real either. You’re just pretending to like all those things that you pretend to like, deep down, you know life is all about being the Best too, but you’re not as good as our narcissist - nobody is.
Our narcissist is going to prove that you’re fake, just like them. You know that the competition to be on top is all that matters. They are better than you are, they’re the Best. They’re going to pull down all your interests, dismantle all your relationships. None of it mattered, you didn’t defend any of it, you let it all go.
You’re a phony.
Fake.
Make believe.
A pretender.
You knew it was all fake too, you knew deep down, just as our narcissist does, that you’re worthless, that all your hobbies, interests, relationships were nothing. You are not real either, just like our narcissist.
Nothing meant anything, and now you’re here, with nothing, and our narcissist is better than you, and you are worse than them, just as they suspected after all. Your only purpose in life is to acknowledge our narcissist’s superiority over you. That is it.
Narcissists don’t feel accomplished until they level you to your foundations.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Do-narcissists-feel-accomplished-when-they-make-you-cry
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:foot:
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Do narcissists ever come to a point where they understand how badly they hurt someone?
Absolutely yes. Narcissists know they hurt people. Narcissists lack empathy, so narcissists don't understand the pain people feel. Narcissists lack remorse; they don't feel guilty for hurting people, so they keep repeating the same mistakes again and again. Narcissists have cognitive empathy; they do understand how their behavior can impact people. Using cognitive empathy, narcissists study the weaknesses and strengths of people to use against them.
Narcissists believe they can hurt people because they have the right to punish them. Any person who stands against narcissists, threatens the image of narcissists, or doesn't give narcissists what they want is likely to receive punishment from narcissists. Narcissists change their behavior depending upon the people they are with; narcissists do understand they are hurting people.
Narcissists know they have hurt people; they simply don't care. Narcissists live life with a don't care attitude; their ego just doesn't allow them to change their behavior.
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Narcissists? Oh, they absolutely know when they’re hurting you—and they love it. It’s like their twisted little hobby. You see, they’re too emotionally stunted to understand real feelings because empathy is as foreign to them as good taste in movies.
Why? Because when they were kids, they probably got more hugs from a cactus than their own parents. So, expecting them to understand your emotions is like expecting a rock to grow a brain—ain’t gonna happen!!
When they hurt you, don’t expect an apology. Instead, brace yourself for the most mind-bending blame-shifting you’ve ever seen. They’ll twist it until you’re the one feeling guilty, even though you’re the one who got hurt. It’s like you’re in a game where they’re always the victim, and you’re somehow the bad guy for pointing out their nonsense.
Their “apologies” are MASTERPIECE OF MANIPULATION . It’s never “I’m sorry for what I did.” It’s more like, “I’m sorry you’re too sensitive,” or “I’m sorry the situation made me do it.”
TRANSLATION: “I’m never wrong, and it’s all your fault.”period.
And if you’re their prime source of ego fuel? Oh, they’ll turn into the world’s best actor, love-bombing you like they’re auditioning for a role in a rom-com. But don’t be fooled—underneath the sweet talk is a soul as hollow as a cheap chocolate Easter bunny.
Their game is all about control, manipulation, and making you doubt your own reality. If you confront them, get ready for a full-blown meltdown. They can’t handle criticism because their fragile ego shatters like glass at the slightest touch.
In short, narcissists are like emotional BLACK HOLES—no matter how much you give, it’s never enough, and they’ll suck the life out of you without a second thought. The best move? Get the hell away and never look back.
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Absolutely - narcs know exactly what buttons they need to press to hurt partners During the devaluation phase they are literally only happy when their partner is unhappy. They not only fully understand when they hurt their partner but they use what they know to hurt them over and over and over again.
They’ll experiment with new things to find out out what hurts them the most - when something new works they’ll add it to their arsenal. If of course the partner implies that the narc is doing something just to hurt them then the narc will accuse them of being crazy to hurt them a bit more.
Whilst most of us go through our lives trying to build, grow and improve things, the narc’s raison d'etre is just to destroy things. They try and make themselves look and feel good by bringing others down. Stay away from them and never enter into a relationship with anybody with strong narcissistic traits - all such relationships are destined for disaster.
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Nope. No one exists to them unless they profit from it transactionally. I don’t think normal people even realize just how devoid of anything these things are. I can’t even call them people, they are literally things.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-come-to-a-point-where-they-understand-how-badly-they-hurt-someone
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Why does a narcissist never admit to anything even when you know the truth?
Lie? Oh no. It’s not a lie, don’t you see?
It’s technically true, in his eyes, at least, in my experience.
“I’m going to the grocery store. I’ll see you later.”
True, but what he didn’t mention?
After I go to the grocery store, and before I come home, I’m gonna stop off to f*ck Jenny…….
“I’m in the city, honey, I swear!” (Oops, but, not the city you think I’m in, soooo…technically…it’s true, because I am in the city!)
There is nothing more twisted than the lies of a Narcissist, because it exists in their own minds, as the whole truth.
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Sometimes they know they’re wrong, it’s just their ego is more important than facts. They can admit it, if it benefits their image. They can almost make everything relate to them.
Compliments are nice, but to them it is like a drug. They’re sucker for attention. They constantly think of ways to make others acknowledge them. It’s hard for them to make a genuine conversation without making it about themselves, that’s why you don’t have to expect that they’ll admit it.
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The Narcissist’s Prayer
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.
That pretty much sums it up. No, they don’t feel they did anything bad or wrong and no, they will never admit it.
End of story there.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-never-admit-to-anything-even-when-you-know-the-truth
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Why does a narcissist, after no contact, suddenly say mean things to you?
They're not finished with you till they say they are. That's how felafelled up and petty they are. They think they own you because they invested so much in you. They don't see it from your end. That would require empathy and they don't see anything wrong in how they treated you.
They feel so entitled that they can justify hurting you because as far as they're concerned you deserve payback. You're nothing to them. You mean nothing to them. They also think all your worth depends on them.
They're evil f*cks. I know some people don't think they're evil and they've got a psychological disorder and blah blah blah… but they shouldn't be excused for what damage they inflict on others. They're acutely aware they're f*cking you over. They actually go out of their way to punish you if they believe you slighted them.
Once you know what pieces of sh!t they are you should no longer care for them. Don't believe anything they say and fob them off if they try to engage you. Be done with them so they can't hurt you anymore.
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They are hurting because they have lost control of you. They want to continue to control you so they continue to abuse. They want your reaction. Do not react. Starve the beast!!
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Because narcissists need to have the upper hand over everyone in every situation and at all times.
It’s why post-breakup, a narcissist ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend can’t just accept that it’s over and that you start to move on, heal and genuinely improve yourself without them.
Why they are very competitive in relationships and after breakups.
And why they will go out of their way to sabotage your new relationships, to pull you down, to breadcrumb and manipulate you.
They’re grown infants. A toddler stuck in the body of a fully grown adult.
They don’t want you to be happy and to thrive in life because they need you to be miserable, to obsess over them and to keep chasing them in order for them to feel worthy and powerful.
________________________________
They will say anything just to see if you still have feelings for them. They want to see how often you will keep believing in their lies. Your belief that they have feelings for you couldn't be further from the truth. That just causes a rise in their ego when you keep falling for lie after lie
They are without empathy and they do these things to prove to themselves that they exist because they are soul less. This makes them dangerous and capable of anything. Inside they are a black void of nothingness
It's just a hoover. Understand they don't have any feelings for you or anybody else they just needed a pick me up moment to boost their ego up a little bit. His meaness towards you is how they really feel about you.
Stop reading into something that doesn't exist and don't respond anymore ever to him. They are pathological liars and game players. They are just looking for any kind of attention until you catch on to their games. You need to educate yourself further about their antics.
You went no contact so stay off their playing field if you don't want to get hurt any further.. because you will get hurt a lot more so do not respond to them ever. It's time for you to accept who and what they are and the damage they love to inflict upon you and anyone who falls into their clutches.
They will never change. They have lost their humanness. They just mimic and fake it. They are who they are and who they always will be.
I pray that you will come to your senses and escape from the trap of the devil who has taken you captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:26.
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First thing that comes to mind is why haven’t you contacted them or they contacted you? Say you’ve been away, they(Narcissist) probably did miss what you provided for them, but it is common thought that they only care themselves. When you come back & contact them, you will be met with the punishment phase(meanness).
Of course, they are going to try to make you feel guilty for not being on “standby”. You are their regular supplier of what builds them up so they can just put you down again. Let them completely go, don’t wait around, get truly free & out of their control! They are grooming their next victim or supplier with someone else.
Run don’t walk. Be free. It all comes down to them wanting to CONTROL you, make you feel guilty so you won’t leave them. They like to keep a spare victim on standby because without someone to feed their overzealous self-esteem, they become irrational.
Think back to Pavlov & his dogs, they went through Classical Conditioning to follow the correct stimulus when they were fed. Think about how these animals became dependent personalities, their ability to eat dependent on behaving the correct way to a certain stimuli (pleasant or unpleasant) to stop their hunger.
They looked forward to their same scientist visiting them everyday & feeding them, teasing them. They loved their caregiver! Dogs have incredible emotional intelligence.
Now to be sure to emphasize that I’m not referring to Narcissists or victims of emotional abuse as animals. Pavlov truly earned his Nobel for his research. What happens when we true dog lovers have to leave our pets behind for a trip? I know there’s innumerable people out there that believe me when I say they punish, ignore or maybe be mean to us because we didn’t take them with us.
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Because in their mind you need to be punished. You have given them a narcissistic injury by going no contact. They hold grudges too which can last years even a lifetime.
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This is on the lines of what they call the Hoover tactic. They miss you they love you they want you back. But as soon as you do it's business as usual. These people have a disease and they are incapable of normal rational human emotions and feelings. Do not fault yourself for responding as a human.
In a normal situation when two stable people have a disagreement and one realizes that they were wrong and comes to the other for forgiveness they actually admit they were wrong and point out where they were wrong and apologize. This conversation will never take place with a narcissist.
They are incapable of having adult conversations and situations. So why do they do it? It's a game for them. And you are purely their entertainment. I am so sorry to sound so crass about it.
But it is the unfortunate truth.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-after-no-contact-suddenly-say-mean-things-to-you
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A covert narcissist is a typical example of a wolf in sheep's clothing. It's just a matter of time before they show their true color; by then, they will have done you so much wrong.
Narcissism should be criminalized.
The Little Shaman
Deep Dive:
Covert Narcissists
@harmonyvaneaton4101
8 months ago
A covert abuser gets everyone around them to buy into their hero/victim facade. The abuse behind closed doors would shock and horrify people in the covert's life. It's genuinely hard to believe it's the same person, even for the victims themselves. The abusers isolate their victims and control the narrative, presenting that they are "helping" their victims. People end up bullying the victim because they truly believe that the abuser is being harmed and needs "protection". It's incredibly insidious and I think it causes a lot of suicide in victims. We are so lucky to live in a time of information access.
@Healinglove
2 years ago
The covert narcissist are the most DANGEROUS of them all. Mine is also a sociopath. RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!! They'll ruin your lives.
@abdulc5726
3 years ago (edited)
You KNOW if you've encountered one of these types. You KNOW! You may not know at the time but you know afterwards because you can't believe a person like that exists.
@arleneandrea3584
3 years ago (edited)
Always blame shifting, there's never any accountability or responsibility for their actions. Both are equally demonic & dangerous.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCeQTO-h6fk
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They assign feelings and thoughts in your head that don't really exist.
The Little Shaman DEEP DIVE:
Dealing With Narcissists
~How to~
[COMPILATION]
@jmh7286
4 years ago
The way a narcissist behaves would be almost comical if it wasn't so tragic and damaging to others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NA2l9NSwi8k
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They are the closest thing to a factory made demonic robot there is. Seriously. How are they so similar and lacking in originality?
WHEN YOU STOP GIVING THE NARCISSIST CHANCES
When you stop giving the narcissist chances you will begin healing. This is when you recognize who they are and what they have done. The narcissist needs to have no access to you. Going no contact is the path. Controlling your own time and energy is imperative. Not giving a toxic person any chance is what needs to be done once we identify who these people are.
@f.frederickskitty2910
3 months ago
Living with a narcissist in your life feels like being slowly poisoned.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFhcymz-u6U
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Oh once you block them never unblock them. Be strong and determined to shake them off forever.
We have to see evil as Evil.
THE CLEARER YOU SEE THEM
THE SMALLER THEY BECOME
The clearer you see people for who they are the better you understand humanity. The narcissist doesn’t want you to become clear and actually realize who they are. When the fog lifts and the clarity appears this is when you will see what you weren’t aware of..that narcissistic behavior is all around. As you begin to heal the narcissist will become smaller.
@blue.5058
14 hours ago
You can tell how small they are by the number of “fish stories” they give.
They’re always presenting themselves as some kind of hero, or that they’ve got some kind of inside track on something, or that they’ve got some kind of special expertise you don’t have (it isn’t true in ANY case whatsoever) and only end up causing more problems as they screw everything up in the end.
When you actually see what they really are, they end up being much smaller.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZOfpYlyyJo
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The only two emotions they know are hate and anger.
Covert Narcissists
Hate Intimacy
@westcoast747
5 days ago
Relationships are just a game to this person. They’re terrified of facing their own reality so they try to ruin yours. You can be the kindest person in the world and they’ll still want to destroy you. It’s a very sick game that they play. Get away and stay away as soon as you can.
@danielskyles6184
4 days ago
Cold as ice
@thediscerntarget6891
5 days ago
You are 100% right! No cuddling, no intimacy, no trust. Trusted family over me. That was the covert narcissist that I escaped. Yes, I was fooled in the beginning. But when that mask fell off, I kicked that covert narcissist out of my life forever. I allowed no hovering! Done! Over! Never looked back!
@andrewsmith6492
5 days ago
My female narc would ask to “cuddle”. I felt it was to entrap me to get emotionally attached. Also kiss, I always felt it was used as a manipulation tactic. She was always trying to get me dependent on her physically and/or emotionally. Her constant accusations of me, cheating on her and the tantrums and physical rage got her put in time out. Gotta put a child in time out. She’s now in forever no contact. She can take her trauma to someone else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95kSjEpwAT0
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Are all narcissist criminals?
Yes all narcissists are criminals because they are emotional terrorist and that's just a little start. The answer is definitely yes and I stand by answer its the truth and the problem is its really difficult to prove and they plan their deceptive premeditated crimes and they do it over and over again so they are careers criminals and habitual criminals and they have and show no remorse for their crimes.
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Yes, because they don’t believe the rules or laws apply to them, so they do whatever they want, plus they rebel against authority since they think they are the authority.
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Do narcissists have a criminal mindset? I can only speak from my experience and I had many criminal and borderline criminalI things done to me by a narcissist. The rules don't apply to a narcissist. Why should they? After all , the world only revolves around them.
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In a sense no they are not criminals, but due to the fact that they cannot or refuse to fit the norms of society they do not find nor want a place in society to function normal so they go outside the norms because of their own delusions.
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1. The regular rules don't apply to them, they are above it all.
2. They don't respect boundaries which is what laws are.
3. They thrive for chaos, excitement and drama. Crime is good for that sort of thing.
4. Being pathologically parasitic makes them dependent on hosts and keeping the hosts happy.
5.Overdeveloped sense of entitlement.
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They all break the rules, it's a matter of whether or not they get caught. Only then can they be marked as a criminal. They are good at making a big stink and people then leave them alone. They are good at setting up the big lie and Gaslighting with word salads to confuse your thoughts to leave them alone. Hard to prove their actions to others, most are just petty thieves.
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It’s hard to say if it’s intentional or not, but they definitely display criminal behavior.
My ‘N-ex’, who of course knows everything about everything and is smarter than everyone else (as well as superior) got a notice in 2015 from the IRS for a tax lien in the amount of $660,000 for tax years 2009–2013……. btw he does his own taxes……hmm?!?! Kinda looks like criminal behavior, don’t you think?
His mother’s husband is an Accountant/CPA and helped him get it lowered to $116,000……. but still, that’s not chump change!!!! And I just think he figured he was SO smart and could just get away with cheating the tax man!
He’s also gotten a DUI, stopped making payments on ALL of his loans (financed items: 3 cars, 2 homes, 1 yacht) and at least 4 credit cards……where’s he’s been sued by several banks. And he’s been arrested for Domestic Violence and 2 other ‘regular’ battery arrests.
Just kinda seems like disobeying the law (criminal behavior) comes natural to them because they have the mindset that they ARE ABOVE THE LAW!!!!
___________________________
Yes! I know my ex-narc killed my cat but I have no way of proving it! He worked for Terminix at the time & I believe he poisoned him! He wanted to get a dog, but I didn’t want it to be a problem for my cat who at the time was 16.
I found out he had put a deposit down in June 2015 on a litter of pups that were due to be born in August 2015 & my cat mysteriously got very ill & died July 2015! I was so naive at the time! They’re sadistic & disgusting!
___________________________
People with a narcissistic personality disorder are “criminals” even if they do not ever get arrested. Their “sense of entitlement,” “unreasonable expectations” and “lack of sensitivity to the rules of others” result in injury to others.
They manipulate and exploit people in their unceasing efforts to build themselves up. Their “contemptuous” and “impatient” behavior has a negative impact on others. The people who suffer the most are those closest to them. Spouses, children, and work colleagues are ground down daily.
In order to peacefully coexist, they must try to satisfy the narcissist's insatiable psychological needs. A person who does not meet the expectations of the narcissist likely will have a very unpleasant encounter. Anyone may become a victim — a waiter, a sales lady, a receptionist — and bear the brunt of his disdain, condescension, and contempt.
A psychologist described his narcissistic client in the following manner: “This is a man who is used to doing what he wants regardless of someone else’s opinion or the impact of his behavior on others.
He acknowledges he goes for the jugular. He needs to be in control of all situations and will often do what he wants in blatant disregard of rules, others’ perceptions, or the impact of his behavior on others. He challenges, threatens, or cajoles to achieve his ends.”
Never underestimate the damage that such a person can do. A narcissist is a criminal who leaves a trail of injury behind.
https://www.quora.com/Are-all-narcissist-criminals
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What kind of damage can a narcissist do?
Narcissists can cause unspeakable damage. The damage can be life changing to their victims, and sadly some victims never recover from the physical, emotional, verbal, financial, or psychological abuse.
Studies have shown children of narcissists develop brain damage from psychological abuse, and maltreatment. These changes can lead to devastating effects on the lives of their children as they grow up into adults. This is true for adults as well especially in relationships, marriages, friendships, family dynamics, and work relationships with someone has narcissistic personality.
Victims of narcissistic abuse have many of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, including the following below:
Flashbacks, nightmares, or easily startled.
An overwhelming sense of guilt, regret, or shame.
Reliving the trauma from the narcissistic abuse.
Being on-alert 24/7 Easily startled by loud or unexpected noises.
Hallucinations.
Feeling detached from your emotions or body, not feeling like yourself.
Avoidance behavior or avoiding situations like large crowds or anything that reminds you of the abuse.
Avoiding relationships, or not being able to trust others.
Being preoccupied with the abusive relationship/person, or continuously thinking of revenge.
Collateral financial abuse or damage such a default on a loan, credit card debts, and some cases the victim filed for bankruptcy.
Narcissists are pathologically selfish, mean, and often extremely cruel. Most narcissist may not even acknowledge that they have a problem, so trying to reason or confront them often backfires into more manipulation, drama, and abuse for you.
Narcissists can cause emotional, verbal, and physical abuse. It is very possible as an adult to develop mental health issues such as anxieties, panic attacks, depression, self-doubt, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth, self-identity issues, and drugs and alcohol abuse or dependence as a way to cope with the psychological abuse.
Working in the healthcare field I have witnessed narcissistic abuse to the degree of victims being hospitalized or deemed as disabled due to the extent of the narcissistic abuse damage created by the narcissist.
Outpatient and inpatient psychiatric offices/hospitals are filled with patients due to a psychological collapse from narcissistic abuse. Some of their victims are on antidepressants, anti-anxiety, and antipsychotics meds due to the damage of narcissistic abuse.
If you’re a victim, leave if you can, join a support group, learn as much as you can about toxic personalities, and do whatever you can to protect your emotional-mental health. The debilitating damage is very real!
Lastly, take the time to google or look online at narcissistic abuse. Just look at many social media forums, platforms, blogs, videos, or just google or search. And you will find millions of unrelenting emotional and psychological pain-damage from victims all over the world as a direct result from a narcissist.
May you know the signs. May you factor in facts over feelings. May you take the time to heal and recover, and may you never ever again be a victim to any form of abuse.
_____________________________
The damage is beyond belief and unless you yourself were a victim, you may easily think that I may be exaggerating.
Let me describe the way I felt:
Like I swallowed my very own nuclear bomb.
Unable to face life.
Wanting to cry constantly and staring in space.
If I had the option, I don’t think that I would have ever got out of bed.
And without God, I would not have survived.
____________________________
Kill them or cause a suicide. Gutting them emotionally leaving a ghost of the person they once was with self esteem issues and mental illness to wander the earth wrapped in emotional pain.
Suck everything good out leave them penniless, homeless and friendless to rebuild a shattered life.
Hundreds if not thousands of us are out here.
___________________________
Financially - living, breathing leeches who will suck you dry if given the chance.
Emotionally - you will feel drained of life, if fulfilment, of hope and joy.
Psychologically - you will be left with a low self-esteem, masses of self doubt, guilty even though you did little to break the relationship, undermined, abandoned and betrayed.
Socially - you will be isolated from friends and family, smeared to everyone both of you know and you will all of a sudden lack the social skills to make friends or even know how to act in a social setting anymore.
Physically - if with an outwardly violent narc, you will be lucky to walk away with your body still intact. Even if not violent, they may accidentally hurt you in some way multiple times (though just in fun😜). You will also notice that you will age quickly in the last stages. Sleep will become erratic and you will not look after yourself as you have done in the past.
Spiritually - well your spirit is broken! You will question your beliefs and wonder why you were this unfortunate as to fall into the narcs trap!
You will also trust no-one, have no faith in your judgement, self-analyse, question everything you know, suffer confusion and humiliation and spend hours putting together the puzzle pieces to make any sense of the situation you found yourself in.
But the beginning was wonderful right?
_______________________________
break your spirit
cause depression
make you feel suicidal
break your confidence
lower your self esteem
make you feel useless and worthless
disrespected
alone
make you feel unloveable
the list is endless.
______________________________
They can take your entire life from you. They can turn everyone against you before you even meet them. They can turn those closest to you against you, make them hate you.
They can isolate, alienate and triangulate you from everyone you love, any support system you might have. They can turn you against yourself. They can turn your children against you. They can and will destroy anything.
Narcissists are black holes, singularities of egoic suffering so unchecked they consume everything. They take all light from your life, leaving you alone in the existential agony of the dark vacuum that was once your love and life.
_____________________________
One of the worst things that a narcissist can do to you is gaslighting. I think it's the worst type of abuse because it's when someone denies something that actually happened.
This kind of abuse continues even after the narcissist is gone because you constantly question your thoughts and emotions. You're never sure what is real and what's not. Additionally, there's the trauma bond and the roller coaster effect, where your emotions fluctuate between high and low, leaving you feeling unstable.
As a result, you start doubting yourself. It's truly awful when this happens. The best way to overcome it is to remember who you were before you met the narcissist. Write it down and take some time to reflect on it.
https://www.quora.com/What-kind-of-damage-can-a-narcissist-do
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Yes, they are the biggest users you'll ever meet.
And once they can't get anything out of you they're off
to the next. Take take take is what they want.
Are You Being Used by a
Narcissist Right Now?
5 Signs You Cannot Ignore
@racebannon96
18 hours ago
For they cannot sleep till they do evil, they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall. They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence. Proverbs 4:16-17
@tracyProverbs31
19 hours ago
Narcissist are demons in human form.
@dontbelongherefromanother
5 days ago
Narcs are users.
@dontbelongherefromanother
2 days ago
It doesn't take long before one begins to notice that they're being used by a narc. I believe also that narcs show who they truly are when they show signs of being needy and dependent. Narcs need others. Others don't need them, which explains why they chase and terrorize those who cut them off and want nothing to do with them. I believe narcs know deep down they are different, and why others try to avoid them. However, narcs project their issues onto others to make them feel guilty and sorry for them. I don't and choose to not fall for it. There's nothing that I can do to change their behavior, and neither can they, so it appears.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0h1F3Wsc_s
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Topics like these NEED to be taught in school !
5 Signs of Emotionally
Manipulative People
Are you being emotionally manipulated by the people in your life? This may be people you love who are applying emotional manipulation or emotional abuse tactics such as your parents or your friends or your husband or wife.
Emotional manipulation can show up in many different ways, and we may not always see if we are being emotionally manipulated. There are several signs of emotional manipulation, some more drastic or stark than others. This could manifest or look like toxic parents or narcissist parents or husband or wife or perhaps emotionally immature friends.
This emotional manipulation may have also been childhood emotional neglect; I talk more about childhood emotional neglect in the videos below. Here are the 5 signs of emotionally manipulative people; signs to look out for if you think you are being emotionally manipulated or emotionally abused by someone in your life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j46P6j_crW0
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There are billions of these narcissists out there and they all seem to be connected remotely.
5 Psychological Techniques
a Narcissist Uses To
Destroy You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aogou574eJQ
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What are the indicators of
someone being a narcissist?
The narcissist is not human. Narcissist looks and speaks like a human, trying to be a human but in reality it is an alien creature.
It's a monster in a human's suit who trying at all cost to get the attention.
It's a monster that wants to take over your mind, that's wants to control every aspect of your life, that wants to isolate you from others.
Narcissist does not feel what others feel, he/she is unable to form a bond with anyone.
He/she is incapable of empathy, self-reflection, to admit his/her mistake, he/she has no feelings of guilt, conscience, regret or compassion.
To understand who you're dealing with, you need to ask yourself a question.
Is it still human without all this?
No, it has never been, is not and will never be human, even though it may look like human. He/she can only pretend to be a human.
To heal from the trauma after the relationship you have to dehumanize the narcissist. The thing is that the narcissist doesn't need to be dehumanized because he/she was never human, but he/she is human in your head, in your mind, and that's where you need to dehumanize the narcissist.
Can an individual who cannot sit still for five minutes, who constantly feels anger and hatred, who constantly pretends to be someone he/she is not, be human? The narcissist doesn't even know who he/she is.
The narcissist sees other people together holding hands, hugging, loving each other, sees elderly people who have been together for decades and the narcissist would like to have it all to himself/herself. A narcissist is very envious of everything he/she will never have. He/she can only imitate.
The narcissist is empty inside, its brain structure is different from the structure of the normal human brain. The narcissist would like to be happy with someone, but even when he/she is with someone, he/she not happy and never will be. but he/she will always look for happiness that he will never find.
The narcissist is unable to connect emotionally with another person. A relationship with a narcissist is a transaction. Can a calculator love you? Can you love a calculator? Is the calculator human? Narcissist is a primitive life form that hides what it really is, trying to be a higher life form than the others.
Narcissists know they are different from others. The narcissist's family knows that the narcissist is different from others. Very often, the narcissist's family is also disordered, not necessarily all of them, but it also happens.
When you're at the zoo, do you know you're different from the animals? This is how a narcissist feels around around people .... Different ... Narcissist is dead inside and desperately does everything to make someone notice that he/she is exist. He/she is like a ghost that no one notices, so he/she does everything to make him/her noticed.
Whether you believe in ghosts, vampires or zombies, the narcissist wants to bite you and leave a permanent mark on you. A narcissist watches other people and it's like a movie he/she can't act in, so he/she pretends to be someone he's/she’s not. He/she plays the role of making you watch the movie too.
The narcissist knows that no one will ever love him/her for who he/she really is. The narcissist is filled with anger, hatred, and shame. The narcissist is not human even though he/she would like to be and because he/she be he/she does what he/she has to do to survive. He/she just wants to fit in and hide around people.
This is how the narcissist proves to himself/herself that he/she is a real person. The narcissists lie to themselves and believes theirs lies, and believes them even more when others believe them too.
What makes us human?
It's not something that can be programmed, it's the power of the human heart.
_______________________________
A narcissist is an expert charmer. They will shower you with everything you thought you were missing in your life. You will feel like the most amazing person in the world. They will tell you how wonderful you are (not like their crazy ex’s - another red flag right there).
They are also expert liars. They will tell you whatever they think will impress you.
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
That being said, there are legitimate times where you have somebody fall head over heels in love with you because you really ARE that special too them. The legitimate ones, will continue to treat you well. The narcissist will start to pull away and become a bit cold as soon as they have hooked you.
If you start questioning how they feel about you early on, they are probably using you as their most recent supply.
A narcissist will often go through love affair after love affair. And their “crazy ex’s” will likely have done terrible things to them and cheated on them all the time. As a narcissist will project their own behaviours onto others, this is likely them telling you of the things they have done.
Always look out for the narcissist language. They will ALWAYS blame you for things THEY have done, are doing or plan to do.
Best advice? Don’t accept everything they tell you without asking questions. If it doesn’t hold up under some questioning, or they start getting mad at you for grilling them, giving them the third degree or not trusting them, instead of answering, they are probably a narcissist.
_____________________________
You will take years may be a decade to finally understand a person is narcissist. The few very prominent signs that I saw from the beginning but ignored are:
They will take credit of every little thing on themselves. In certain situations you will be shocked how they do it.
They will manipulate you every time you will want to discuss something. At the end they will NEVER agree to you or support your point of view. You WILL give up.
They will never appreciate you from their heart.
They will only find faults in you.
They are also super miserly with money.
They will never let you grow. They will crush all your potential.
They will control all your moves.
They will monitor every move that you make without you realizing. They will check phone logs. They will overhear every time you talk to some one. They will judge the way you talk to others.
You will feel like you are living in jail.
https://www.quora.com/unanswered/What-are-the-indicators-of-someone-being-a-narcissist
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A narcissist can't face their own reality of their own behavior and actions against you and anyone else who unfortunately comes in contact with them!
The One Thing That Hurts Narcissists 1000% More Than You Think!
@nikhook1114
2 hours ago
You said in the that the narcissist needs therapy. That will not help a true narcissist, they cannot be helped. Spreading this kind of information around gives false hope to those in a relationship with one. Please learn more before spewing these falsities. The narcissist's deep rooted problems cant be repaired. They have little to no empathy and aren't capable of learning that.
@tammyfitzgerald5336
23 hours ago
Disappear, free your mind the rest will follow.
@yvindstensrd5350
1 day ago
I have hoped that there was many more in here because there's so many Narcissists out there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmR3yPFhkv4
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"They'll provoke you to anger then
shame you for being angry."
A Narcissist's Playbook For Keeping You Subordinate
Narcissists are in a perpetual pattern of unhealthy self-preservation. Dr. Les Carter identifies 12 highly predictable tactics they use as they seek to elevate Self at your expense. As you gain insight into their psychological strategies, you can find freedom from their exploitive efforts.
@amandaliverpool3374
18 hours ago
By constantly making you feel that they are more important than you, you feel totally unimportant. They have to be the big boss and keep you totally beneath them!!!
@surlif
26 minutes ago
Surrounded by the family of narcissists I married into, the abuse went on for decades. But after listening to Surviving Videos for over two years now, I see it all clearly. Knowledge is freeing but I still have so much healing to do. Thank you, Dr. Carter and thank you for reminding us of civility, dignity, and respect. I need that reminder like you give it... over and over. Sometimes, I still just want to get them back and give them a taste of their own medicine. But getting power back for me to live my life will not come like that and will just keep me in a mess.
@yukio_saito
7 hours ago
In their playbook, they are a main character and you are a side character. They are a hero and you are a villain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMW-LVUM2Eo
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They are like children.
3 Grueling Ways to
Handle a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rsNET2FLeo
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Monsters walk among us!
The Spirit of Cain within
the Covert Narcissist
@casandramiedema9849
1 month ago
I love how you went from talking about narcissism from a psychological point for a long time to now explaining the spiritual. There’s so much to it and hopefully people who aren’t believers will start to wake up to the truth you're speaking. Keep exposing these demons that’s what they really are.
@cj7767
1 month ago
Everyone talks about the Narc that comes from Trauma. I will like to add that I have met more Narcs that come from a good life/childhood. They are like the mean popular/rich kid in school that grew up and can't stand to see others get ahead especially the "Poor Girl"...Like me. I get ahead and some guy wants to come knock me down to keep me down.
@Tarsarian
1 month ago
Being Jealous is an emotion that these Narc’s can never can control. The lengths they go to destroy innocent people who don’t even know them is staggering.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1XK2oyUN8A
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@kinss1
I listen to Yaz because her tone of voice is seething with hatred about narcissists.
Its very satisfying.
Covert Narcissists are Impossible
@joshuaanzalone2060
1 year ago
They are the fakest of the fake.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOcxI_I8v4c
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Do narcissists use your past against you?
Absolutely yes, because narcissists are cowards. During the love bombing phase, narcissists will try to know everything about your strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, your past life, and your past connections with people. You will feel like narcissists are trying to connect with you, but the truth is they are gaining information to use against you.
Reason narcissists use the past against you because you shouldn't question them or argue with them. When they don't have any point to prove themselves right, then they will bring your past to pin you down.
Narcissists also use your past to create more problems in your life; they want to hurt you and make your life miserable. Narcissists will use your past to blackmail you. Never tell narcissists about your past.
Narcissists are cowards and weak-minded people.
______________________________
The narcissist will bring up any topic or conversation, which is capable of causing you to experience an emotional downfall.
They want to see your mood crash, and stay down. Unless, of course, their ego needs some stroking… in which case they may demand that you uplift them. But otherwise, they do not want to see you feeling good.
Narcissists will remind you of the reasons you should be thankful to them, all the great things they have done for you. They will remind you of your most painful memories, and where you have failed or let people down in the past.
They will not do this all the time necessarily, but instead whenever they feel they need to get a handle on you, for whatever reason, which is quite often.
They will think up just the story / past event which will trigger certain thoughts/ memories in you, to do the trick. To get a grip on you.
It's all about the narcissist getting you to feel in whatever way they need you to feel, whenever they want.
Because, after all, they regulate themselves through you.
__________________________
A narcissist will most definitely remember and bring up all and every single past indiscretion you have ever had. I believe they will mostly do this when they are threatened or have been caught out.
Its to try and make you out to be the bad one and to deflect any form of guilt they may get from being caught out. If you are the bad one well they are a shining angel, not sure if there intention is to try and hurt you so much but its definitely to ridicule and belittle you.
_______________________________
Yes they most certainly do!
During the love bomb stage, the narcissist usually has only one intention! That intention is to seduce the victim, into believing they are in love. So the manipulative behaviour has a clear purpose. Flattery, praise, and fake empathy, to trap the victim!
Now, after the poor victim has been lulled into the false sense of security, the devastation will begin. This is also when the Data mining will occur!
Data mining, is the narcissists greatest asset during the devaluation stage. They slowly devalue the victim to lower the self esteem and then probe into their weaknesses with intrusive questioning.
Every detail that the victim divulges to narcissistic character, is recorded and committed to memory. They dig so deep into the past experiences, and family upbringing, all in search of information to use as leverage!
This Data mining has actually been apparent from (day one) of the initial encounter. The victim was targeted and then the manipulation began!
Every single statement and comment regarding the victims past has been collected and documented to ensure the narcissist has enough information to maintain control over their target. This could be vulnerable situations such as family problems in childhood, criminal records, past relationships, the list is endless, and the narcissist has been listening, recording and planning the demise of the victim should they ever dare to escape!
This is not only to use against the victim while still in the relationship, to maintain control, but to use later as a smear campaign when the victim actually finds a way out!
Never give away too much information to anyone! Always stay vigilant, and listen to what questions are being asked of you. If they seem intrusive, and you feel uncomfortable, this is your red flag, offer nothing and walk away.
Please please please, trust your intuition! That gut feeling is your primitive early warning system alerting you to danger!
Trust it!
_____________________________
Anything you say will be used against you.
The person I dedicate my Q account to, would ask:
About relationships and use info against me.
About family and use it against me.
He even:
Used things I did not say against me.
They want you to confide in them, they act as if they care, only to later complain that you saw them as confidante and they did not want that..or that they never cared or that there was no bond between the 2 of you..(which is correct as they were only using you for supply).
_________________________________
ding ding! the million dollar question!!
christ oh mighty if this didn’t drive me to drink
why ??? because they can NEVER do any wrong.. and to make it even better, YOU have to do EVERYTHING wrong.
it is to save face? maybe.. is it to debunk their wrongdoing? yep..
remember: their false image, which they live by, must do no wrong. they will actually lose everything… home, wife, family.. before they admit and submit to any wrongdoing. they must deflect, duck, deter convo, flip .. anything to avoid being “wrong” or “apologizing”.
f*cker
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-use-your-past-against-you
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.
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How clever can a narcissist be when they tell on themselves constantly?
While some are genuinely clever in their pursuit of power/control over others (as some are extraordinarily manipulative), they do definitely trip up along the way and sometimes tell you about themselves or tell on themselves, lol.
In reality, narcissists tend to lack emotional self-control and may actually “break” at times, especially when they feel that someone is figuring them out/seeing through them or not “properly” responding to their attempts to manipulate, dominate, provoke, etc.
Narcissists are essentially “stuck” in their emotional development, so while some may be intelligent, they are also children living in adult bodies.
I tend to more look at it as “normal” human beings wanting to assume the best, and simply not realizing or wanting to believe that sh!t ass, moral-less human beings exist, lol.
If it weren’t for “normal” human beings, narcissists would not be able to survive/thrive. They essentially survive/thrive through “normal” human beings.
Because narcissists are the type who will smile in your face, seemingly say all the right things (especially during the beginning stages) while knowing full well that they’re simply presenting themselves as who/what they believe will draw you in (charming/flattering, generous, romantic, etc) and taking advantage of you.
https://www.quora.com/How-clever-can-a-narcissist-be-when-they-tell-on-themselves-constantly
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How can one drive a narcissist mad?
:crazy: :tanty:
I love this question as honestly so many people are suffering way too much at the hands of these evil people.
You will drive the narcissist crazy:
When you are the hated one and you survive. You not only survive the hatred strategy but become happy again.
When no matter what the narcissist does to trigger your anger, you remain collected and polite. I love it! It takes enormous self discipline.
When we do not show emotions with them. No supply here you monster is the real message.
When we discard the narcissist but please be careful as this is bound to create a narcissistic injury and you can easily become the hated one.
When we don’t take the calls of the narcissist.
When we act unemotional with the flying monkeys.
When we deal with the narcissist in a smart manner.
When we show them that morality pays in life. Stick to the right path and heaven will provide enormous abundance.
When the child of a narcissist calls out the crap out of the narcissist parent. With partners, I do not suggest this but with the children of narcissists, yes I do. After all that torture, it will show the child has back bone to expose the parent for all the sick games.
When a narcissist has to face authorities. Bullshit has not managed to get them past this one.
When an alienated parent is reunited with the children!
Please drive all narcissists crazy. They must learn their lesson. Hating and destroying human beings is not a way to live your life.
_______________________________
Why should you?
They’re crazy anyways.
I think we know that.
I do understand the feeling of wanting to do something to get back at them for all their wrongs, but it’s not worth the effort because as we know, narcissists don’t even care.
It’s just fuel for them. Nothing will change. They can get that fuel from anyone, we don’t need to be their supply anymore. We don’t need to waste our time and energy on driving them crazy when they already are, and instead focus on ourselves, getting free and healing.
That’s the best we can do. When we gain back our independence and get free and heal, that’s what ‘drives them crazy’ because then they’re losing control of us. If they know in the end they couldn’t break us, that’s what drives them crazy.
Let’s just keep our independence and stay free.
_____________________________
Tell them they are wrong then have someone join you in claiming how wrong they are. They will explode in rage.
__________________________________
Narcissists expect you to be so intimidated by them that they expect you to just lose who you are and meld into who they are. But there are certain things that you can do that are just going to drive them purely nuts.
First, don't buy into their BS. They're not the ultimate arbiters of truth; keep that in mind. Beyond that, there's no need for you to justify who you are. They're not listening anyway.
Then, taking it further, live as a free person. They've assigned themselves as being your taskmaster, but that's a delusion that you don't have to play along with. Then, refuse to argue. Just simply don't jump into their mud hole.
And then, beyond that, have meaningful separate relationships and priorities. Your character is everything, so hold on to that. Be you, knowing full well that it's going to drive them mad.
And then, as you do so, get out of the way so that they can just be who they are. You can be a very separate and distinct person.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-one-drive-a-narcissist-mad
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Never argue with a stupid person. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Narcissists Who Are Trapped By Their Own Stupidity
Stupidity is a very real phenomenon that impacts how a person treats others, makes decisions, and responds to power. Dr. Les Carter describes how narcissistic individuals are uniquely positioned to become trapped by the problem of stupidity, then he discusses ways to overcome its ignorant patterns.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8hh-tH9wlQ
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You’re not hypersensitive. They are cold, there’s a huge difference.
How a Covert Narcissist Tries to Mind F*ck You
@JohnSmith-lk8cy
5 months ago
Passive aggressive is the WORST thing to live with! I married one and it was hell because I didn't know until I had three kids and a business. The constant smirk and ridicule at everything I said and did was the worst. I was the crazy one when I noticed it and said something about it. Contempt for me was the default vibe in the house. Gone now for 15 years and freedom is wonderful!
@Richard-vq7ud
1 year ago
These f ing narcissists turn everything we have been taught upside down. Remember all the "setting boundaries" bs? There is only ONE boundary that works on these demons from HELL, and that is NO CONTACT. I'll be damned if I waste one more ounce of my precious life on these things.
@willowclay5406
9 months ago
They don't like their supplies. They're jealous and insecure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YT1_pPvXZc
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Will a narcissist ever find the person who changes them for the better?
No. They cannot find the one. And nobody can change them except themselves.
What they can find is someone they believe to be the one….someone who is thought to be perfect. So this person is idealized. At least until it's realized that they are not perfect. Then that person becomes ordinary and worthless. And they are devalued and discarded.
That is the narcissistic cycle. External love does not break it.
_________________________________
No, because is not about right person is about the narcissist. You need to understand the fact that a narcissist is incapable of loving anyone. Even the love that they have towards themselves is disordered is extremely self centred, self absorbed. Is not love it's self obsession. They don't know who they are. So how would they ever to connect with anyone when they are not connected with their own essence?
Their true self is dead. It's just the false self that exist. Is just shell of who they truly were. Narcissists can't sustain relationships.
They are emotional predators and use others to regulate their emotions. Narcissists want maximum gain with minimum efforts. They are extremely self centred They thrive on conflict and can't stand stability. Narcissists are hyper sensitive to anything that can be taken as criticism. They take responsibility for nothing and believe their own lies.
______________________________
Never!!!
These pathetic, cruel, selfish liars can never recognize true love because they live is illusions. For them it’s their prime goal to catch hold of people who can take them high with lusty night outs, gifts, sweet surprises and finally end up with them in bed. They continuously keep hunting for new supplies and keep replacing them with yet another new ones.
Be it he or she, all narcissists are identically same cruel people who only ruin other people who love them. They destroy the person who loves them to such an extent that the victim suffers from all sides. Mentally, emotionally, financially, physically and becomes paralyzed for the rest of his/her life feeling worthless.
These ba**rds and bitc**s are only bothered about their selfish motives and are capable to sleep with their own fathers, mothers, sisters, daughters and sons as long as their momentary lusty need is taken care.
No one on this planet can change them till they are alive, PERIOD!!!
https://www.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-ever-find-the-person-who-changes-them-for-the-better
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Would a narcissist ever
help anyone out?
Only if it makes them look good to others or they will benefit in some way. The benefit may not be noticeable to some people.
________________________________
They will tell you they will help you and conveniently forget. Narcs are known for giving empty promises so they can look like the “good person”. Another example of telling you what you want to hear. It will rarely happen - Don’t ever rely on a narc. You will be constantly disappointed.
______________________________
No. They would only help others if it somehow helps them.
Whether that be to make them look like a hero, victim, grandiose, generous etc
The priority will always be the narc's interest.
______________________________
Like for a sadistic gang stalking of a person or other fun event, like the torture of a helpless animal or perhaps murdering a person? That kind of ”need?” Absolutely, they would be there if you needed them to help you with anything sickening or extremely sadistic, especially the Covert Narcissists, they are the most helpful and altruistic of all the cluster B's.
However if you mean “need", like say, help taking care of the Narcissist's ailing mother or father, or even just help with a few dinner dishes?
No, then I am afraid you won't see or hear from a Narcissist in months, even longer, sometimes years.
And don't ever try to find a Narcissist to help you with any sort of need like, “emotional support” because your mother just died and you simply “needed a shoulder to cry on". Narcissists don't really do those kind of needs, either but they may toss you a “sorry your b*tch mother's dead sympathy f*ck just for some “sh!ts and giggles" to help you better cope with your loss?
As long as they are the focus of your need, yeah they may be there for you then, other than that though? Not so much, but don't be hard on old Narcopath for not being able to help you with your needs, just know that they are always willing to have you give them a hand with any number of their needs.
It is after all why they have you around anyway. Just like a trusty old car battery, you can take a licking and you'll just keep ticking along, until it's time for a new one. Probably due to too many of your unreasonable, “needs”?
It's a nightmare trying to find good supply these days.
It's not old Narcopath's fault that they live this way, they are after all, damaged beyond all repair.
________________________________
If there is enough audience!!
One of the most tricky personal trait that I have learned about closet narcissism (covert) is the love for charity.
Covert narcissists live on the fake false image that they reveal to others and hide behind that mask, and the next day they will brag how humble they are in front of their supply and themselves.
In addition to all the red flags that you can find in them, I think the two keys for helping others would be the.....
(pathological lying): this one makes them able to believe their own lies.
Charity lovers: this one is the smartest product that narcissism ever introduced to this world. The pearl of their industry. When you will find yourself beside a loving giving person who appreciates others needs and looks for them.
I am sure it reflects good on them when they are drawn in their self-loath and low self-esteem.
Covert narcissists will help you, listen to you if only there is something to be taken back instead. Nothing is free in their world, it's all paid and its all crap.
What can be taken from you instead could be any thing they need like validation, support, money, sex, etc….
Being with covert narcs is watching their show 24–7–365. Lucky you if you there is more audience.
____________________________
Sure they can! But there is ALWAYS an ulterior motive. What might they get in return? Something to brag about, something to hold over you, something to show the world what a “great” person they are…
My ex narc NEVER ONCE asked me if I needed something, if there was anything he could do for me or ANYTHING after I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. All through treatment, on the occasions he was around, I was still cooking for him and serving his lazy a**.
At that point he didn't have to try to impress me, he knew I wasn't just fighting for my life. He KNEW I was fighting for HIM. Fighting for us. And he gladly let me. The last time we were together, I asked him if he would take me to an upcoming doctors appointment. I just wanted him to meet my oncologist. He literally flipped out on me and told me that I don't know what I do to people, asking for rides because I don't drive.
Who does s**t like that???
A narcissist with nothing to gain.
__________________________________
I’m not sure what you mean by help. However, in the love bombing stage they will do any thing to please you. When they become bored with you, remember this is not love no matter how much you feel loved, they will become rude & disagreeable & mean.
Nothing will be the same ever again. That is why it hurts so much when you are discarded. The answer is they will go to lengths to please you for an undetermined amount of time; after that you are not worth the effort. They can't maintain the facade. Time for you to leave & start the recovery process. Good luck & speedy recovery.
______________________________
Sure, some of them can be very sympathetic and supportive. They may bail you out of a bad situation, offer a shoulder to cry on, cheer you on when you need a boost, and offer good advice about a situation you’re trying to deal with.
It won’t be because they really care about you, though. There’s something in it for them. It may not be immediately obvious, but there’s no empathy involved here. They may be trying to convince you that they care in order to get you more deeply hooked, or trying to earn praise for being such a good person, or will want other people to know about it to boost their own reputation.
They may be keeping a mental tally of good deeds that you will owe them for later. They may even be doing the occasional good deed so that they can lie to themselves and convince themselves that this balances out the terrible things they’ve pulled on you before, and will continue to pull on you if you stick around.
They’re not all moustache-twirling villains. It’s more complicated than that. If they didn’t package themselves as nice, caring people, nobody would ever fall for them in the first place.
https://www.quora.com/Would-a-narcissist-ever-help-anyone-out
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Why are narcissists so horrible?
Narcissists are horrible because they lack empathy and remorse; they don't have the ability to self-reflect. Narcissists are selfish and parasitic; they come into relationships only to use and abuse you.
Narcissists feel they are entitled to do anything they want without being questioned. Narcissists are horrible because they lack genuine feelings for any person in this world; it's all about them.
In fact, narcissists are evil in human disguise who have come to destroy you emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
After taking everything from you and destroying you, they will blame you and spoil your reputation. Narcissists are truly evil and horrible people.
The worst thing is that there is not a single good quality in a narcissist that can benefit people directly or indirectly. If they do something good for someone, then it comes with a price. (Transactional Relationship)
Narcissists are horrible; their sole purpose is to take everything from you. It's the mask, which doesn't allow people to see who they are.
__________________________
They are very insecure people with very fragile egos by nature, lack empathy for others and are incredibly self absorbed
When they treat you badly for no valid reason it is all in an attempt to control you and keep you at their disposal.
They don't feel bad either, they feel entitled and justified to treat you like sh!t.
It's actually rather pathetic when you see just how insecure these people are. They never developed fully. They are children, still playing make believe and pretend.
They have to hurt you to not feel bad about themselves. They rather feel in control of how they make you feel since they hate the way they feel about themself. They are little insecure people who can never be equally responsible in a healthy adult relationship.
A relationship to a narcissist is somewhat like a relationship you would have with a child. You are the adult they are the child. They throw tantrums, have no reasoning skills, and to argue with one is like trying to prove your point to a 4 year old. You will never win because they're reasoning does not make sense.
Deep down they have insurmountable insecurities and they avoid dealing with their own issues by mind-screwing people like you and I.
They lack empathy for whatever reason (could have been they had narcissistic parents and learned from them or perhaps they were given everything they wanted all their upbringing and never grew out of getting what they wanted by throwing a fit…etc., no excuse to be a brat still as an adult we grow out of that selfish childish nature and it's a choice).
They have no boundaries for others. They walk all over us with no regard or without ever feeling bad.
If unaware of what is going on, then its easy to get sucked into their deceptive world of bullshit without even knowing it. Once they gained your emotional attachment is when they most likely will demonstrate their ‘true’ nature by degrading, devaluing, sudden withdraw, gaslight, silent treatment, disappear, the list of vindictive tactics go on.
They feed off the attention of others. They feel the need to control you to keep you around to stroke their ego because they are so insecure. So pathetic most of them actually deep down under their mask have no true sense of self worth. And this reality they will avoid at all costs and especially at sake of harming others.
They just want people around to be involved in their lives to make them feel important and never have to deal with their insecurities. They are so fake. They are not fair. They want you to be devoted to them regardless if you want to or not. They don't care what you want. They care only about what is beneficial to them.
They need your validation. They need to demonstrate the power they have over you by treating you in unimaginable ways to create havoc and chaos in your mind thus keeping you forever bonded to their destructive and ugly secret nature of hating who they are.
https://spiesliesnpdabusehealing.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-so-horrible
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10/11/2016 6:06AM
Luka Luciano
Luka
fyi sherry has been talking sh!t about you saying your a freeloader living off her lazy bum drunk...she is spending night with kevin in vta says she made you sleep in her rv not in a relation ship any more planning to give you the boot. a conspiracy pretty low that is why i am writing hate cheaters liars backstabbers lame ass way to do things she made herself out as a victim not cool...
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Why would you need transparency? That's illogical when dealing with vermin.
What a Narcissist Really Thinks of You
(Warning: Raw Truth)
@richardbensinger6922
24 minutes ago
Everybody in unison: "THAT SH!T WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!"
AMEN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhrH8e0Lll8
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
They are trying to hide what we already know. Not a good look.
A Narc on the Ballot...
This video will end
Kamala Harris' campaign.
@Ghiaccio-x1j
1 hour ago
She’s one of the reasons why California was destroyed.
@handbananaistherapist642
1 hour ago
Her "power comment" should disqualify her from holding any public office.
@onetinsoldier9615
1 hour ago
They need to check democrat homes for missing illegal immigrant children.
@raifhol
1 hour ago
Yet tens of millions will still vote for her, we have a mental illness crisis in the United States.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDYZoY4aF7Y
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The more you find out who they really are & the more knowledge you get, the easier it is to process and heal. You no longer need closure or answers from the narcissist because you have found it yourself. No more confusion. Just the truth about who they are & who they were from the beginning of the relationship.
WHAT THE NARCISSIST NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD DO
What the narcissist never thought you would do. The narcissist never thought you would break the ties from them. These ties include the emotional ties, the financial ties, the spiritual ties and the physical ties. The narcissist took you for granted and thought that you would stay stuck in the trauma bond. You broke the chains you broke the cycle and now you are healing. You are an amazing human being loved honored, cherished, respected and needed. Continue on the path moving forward.
@KD-gd5oq
1 hour ago
Their disrespect is all the closure you need. <3 Stay strong everyone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0qzgaU6SFg
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No one is immune from trash talk from the narc. Even their new besty.
Signs of Madd Disrespect by the Covert Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-GmYkDfS0Q
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When triggered by the Narc, say to yourself “WTF” - What The Fact -
to recenter yourself back into truth and reclaim your power, and sanity.
How the Covert Narcissist
Seeks to Destroy You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me4NYkDvR2Q
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:tello: "Hey you. Yeah, YOU. Shut up, I'm talking here...."
-
They really try to kill you with deep depression
after they discarded you.
That’s when you see how evil they are!
How Narcissists Slowly Kill You
~Narcissistic Abuse~
@seeingspiritualvisions
2 months ago
They are just pure evil. My daughter died from the abuse.
@Raiinydaylove02
3 months ago
I have hypothyroidism and it ain't no joke from all the stress they tried to inflict on me but by the blood of Jesus I am healed in Jesus name we are covered in His blood.
@ND-or5so
3 months ago
I really thought I was going to die. This is serious! No exaggeration. You can actually feel you are dying. They are so sick and so dangerous. They are sick and I felt sick from his non stop torture. Monsters people, MONSTERS!!!
@heavenlygrandma9992
3 months ago (edited)
All the stress from living with a covert narcissist caused acute myeloid leukemia for me.
A VERY aggressive cancer. Usually kills within 3 weeks to 2 months. I was pushing 3 months when rushed to the hospital.
Then the doctors almost killed me twice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXuQdLQqgZ8
-
3 of the Biggest Tips for Staying Strong
During “No Contact”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9be4ViNBJUQ
-
:tello: "If you like my work........."
-
Gaslight - Full Movie - (1940)
Gaslight is a 1940 British film directed by Thorold Dickinson which stars Anton Walbrook and Diana Wynyard, and features Frank Pettingell. The film adheres more closely to the original play upon which it is based – Patrick Hamilton's Gas Light (1938) – than the better-known 1944 MGM adaptation. The play had been shown on Broadway as Angel Street, so when the film was released in the United States it was given the same name.
PLOT
Alice Barlow (Marie Wright) is murdered by an unknown man, who then ransacks her house, looking for her valuable and famous rubies. The house remains empty for years, until newlyweds Paul and Bella Mallen move in. Bella (Diana Wynyard) soon finds herself misplacing small objects; and, before long, Paul (Anton Walbrook) has her believing she is losing her sanity. B. G. Rough (Frank Pettingell), a former detective involved in the original murder investigation, immediately suspects him of Alice Barlow's murder.
@kikia.1352
5 years ago
I used to get headaches all this time and feel so weak, just like the leading lady was. I opened my eyes wide to the bs and am in the process of divorcing my narcissist husband. I have not had a headache since I first called him out on his bs! Lord I feel free!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYmtzaHwCKo
-
How Do Narcissists Destroy Themselves?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NG-R9JfNOU
-
Don’t Seek Revenge on the Narcissist:
Do This Instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojrtjJVVQlA
-
:peace:
-
It's not a home. It's a torture chamber!
Wicked Ways Narcissist
Uses Physical Space to
Control You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D14U25jqBJQ
-
They really think they are something, don't they?
Living with a Narcissist, Is It
Final Discard, Passive
Aggressive Partner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eYcNqsPRDg
-
8 Ways Narcissists Ruin Their Own Lives!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYmPzKCRmPA
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
This I can relate to.
How Narcissists Plan Your Downfall When They
Walk Away!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PoKEBcELTw
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Cruel to the core. No soul, heart or conscience.
2 Prices Paid When Narcissists Are Vindictive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wek9JSV0vg
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They don’t want you to know that they are LYING about EVERYTHING.
What a Narcissist Doesn’t Want You to Know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL3c6zt8OvQ
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PAGE 30
Narcissists hate those they cannot manipulate or control.
7 Types of People a Narcissist Hates The Most
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMw1A_G_EQw
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They just suck the life out of you. Being with them is a constant struggle for sanity until you just crawl into your head and wait for death.
How the Covert Narcissist Weaponizes Against You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqUa-tlca_s
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The narc sure can put it out but when they meet their match....THEY SURE CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!
WHEN THE NARCISSIST MEETS THEIR MATCH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCQcrSyv2vo
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Will narcissists destroy
someone’s life?
My life was destroyed by a narcissist. Sweet people pleaser in public, an abusive abomination at home in private. She systematically swept my legs out from under me and crushed my spirit and will to live.
I was demeaned, shamed, accused of cheating, over and over until my head and emotions were churning.
She almost cost me my life as I turned suicidal. I was told was not good enough for her in so many ways. I was trauma bonded and could not leave. She told me I was worthless but would not let me go.
Recovery was years in the making. I was miserable for years. Life sucked and I saw no way out.
A narcissist will destroy you with no concern for you at all.
________________________________
Let's just say the difference between them and a socio/psychopath is that Narcs have fear. From law. From authority. But they are still dangerous. They can drive people towards suicide.
________________________________
DONT f*ck with a narc. They ARE dangerous.
These are the killers of the world. Just walk away f*ck revenge…they're better at it than you for sure.
Dangerous people….very…
_________________________________
Dangerous as Hell. It can escalate when you start standing up for yourself and asking questions of the Insane bullshit your being forced to accept.
_______________________________
They all are in a sense, as they're emotionally abusive. As far as physical, my ex wasn't. Too hard to hide physical abuse, and he needs everyone to think he has a bleeding heart. ( His words not mine ).
I don't know if they set out to make your life hell, as they don't think they've done anything wrong. They think anything they do to you is your fault.
____________________________
Absolutely, and without hesitation.
They will harm you, not caring if you'll be okay or not.
They can be very spiteful, and they'll keep coming up with ways to make your life miserable.
To those facing such people, turn to God for help. When someone is determined to bring you down, seek the help of the Almighty in Heaven, and you will find salvation.
_____________________________
Yes, absolutely they will. You don’t have to do anything to them. They can just think you did, with no proof. Especially a covert narcissist, they are so devious and deceptive. A lie to them is completely justified if it helps them achieve their goal.
To destroy another’s life is great entertainment. They just sit back and enjoy the fireworks. They will destroy their own child without a thought.
_______________________________
Yes. My life is destroyed and I have no idea how to un-destroy it. It seems just so damn simple on paper....but mentally, its the hardest thing I've ever had to try to do. Every single day....
....and he destroyed me in ways that affected my kids. I was always yelling at the kids and taking my frustrations out. I was so deep in his reality that I was really losing my mind. I suffer, my kids suffered... all because of one wretched human being that is not suffering from the loss of the family, or the house, or the kids, or the marriage.
____________________________
Oh definitely yes, the victim can expect total annihilation, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. As soon as one sees an inkling of a red flag, meaning something isn't adding up they should immediately sever ties and go “ no contact."
Narcissists are master manipulators. They will feel absolutely no shame or guilt for their behavior or treatment of you. The situation will only get worse never better.
___________________________
Narcissists are mentally challenged in a negative way. We can surely infer that the destruction they bring down on someone's life is the outcome of their deformed brain structure. But the twist is, outwardly they seem normal like us.
Their cocoon is beautiful, attractive, magical….and we are simply awestruck and exhilarated by their pretence. What emerges is not a butterfly…..but a soul-sucking vampire.
A narcissist destroys someone's life by abusing them to such an extent that the abused becomes a shadow of their former selves.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is one of the most unfortunate episode in any one's life. We are promised a life of happiness, trust, soulfulness, positivity and mutual growth. The narc puts us on the highest pedestal, we touch the clear blue sky and float in spongy masses of cloud….only to be thrown at turbo speed in hell…. forever .
The most pathetic element in a narcissistic relationship is being thrusted into the pit of disrespect, despair and negligence after being worshipped by the narc. The narc actuality did not idealize us, but trauma bonded us. This trauma bond is real destruction.
https://www.quora.com/Will-narcissists-destroy-someone-s-life
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“In order to manipulate somebody, you have to know that you are lying.”
Covert Narcissists are
Damaged People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw84QYZUMrU
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They want the authority of a king, and only the responsibility of a toddler.
The Immature Mind of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjotVphzUKM
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You can hear it in this lady’s voice. She’s fed up and she’s very very wise, she ain’t lying about any of this sh!t.
The Ways the Covert Narcissist Tries to
Hurt You
:troll2:
@georgesontag2192
6 months ago
As more of this narcissistic information comes out, the more marriage will become obsolete. It's too risky to sign legal contracts when covert narcissist exists.
@happyhealthyblessed
8 months ago
They are so evil it’s not even funny.
@sadboi7537
8 months ago
I was ghosted/given the silent treatment twice during seriously pivotal moments toward the end of our “relationship”. She even said, verbatim, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow” during the last time we spoke to each other. Fast forward two weeks later, and absolutely nothing. No response via text or phone. I then changed my number a week or so after that and hope to never hear from that demon ever again. The mind f*ckery they put us through is mind blowing. Good riddance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fe1SyP05Jpw
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"The person you love most will hurt you the most".
Do you agree with this quote?
I’d paraphrase to say that the person you love most has the ability to hurt you the most, if you let them.
Love of any kind is a great feeling. Love for a spouse, children, friends, family or pets is what being human is all about.
The one thing that is persistently left off the list, though, is love for one’s self.
Loving your own character, values, efforts, contributions, resilience, determination, empathy, personality and integrity means that whatever ultimately happens where others are concerned, you will survive.
Knowing that you’ve always operated from a place of compassion and care means that you aren’t to blame and haven’t failed when those you ‘loved most’ made their own choices or went their own way. It was their prerogative.
As long as you’re breathing, you still have value and the ability to contribute positively.
https://www.quora.com/The-person-you-love-most-will-hurt-you-the-most-Do-you-agree-with-this-quote
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What do people benefit from emotionally abusing someone?
This is a good question, allow me to answer as best I can.
Abusers have trouble with self-esteem. They are couch potatoes, veritable parasites who live off others. They never learned how to manage their own discomfort and they have no idea how to manufacture their own self-esteem.
Every ounce of self-worth an abuser has - comes from others. They constantly need external validation of how special they are. How does this work?
Someone likes them and they like this. But it isn't enough, they need more. So they devalue the victim and watch the reaction. If the victim can't take it they leave and this upsets the toxic person.
But if they can take the abuse, and they remain - the toxic person feels so sensational they dish out even more. Little by little they garner self-esteem this way.
People who emotionally abuse others often do so to improve their own self-esteem.
______________________________
It is all in their twisted minds - but they believe by devaluing another, elevates them. It gives them a momentary emotional lift. Please remember that those who are filled w/anger and contempt towards others - are not rational, or emotionally healthy people. If you are looking for a logical reason, don’t. It is not logical or rational.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-people-benefit-from-emotionally-abusing-someone
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How do narcissists destroy their own relationships?
Narcissists destroy their relationships by not truly being in them.
What they destroy is the relationship you were having with yourself, along with the hope that kept you around, accepting their treatment. That’s the entire relationship: hope. The hope that your soulmate will return to the person they were during the love-bombing phase.
But narcissists move on after love-bombing, and they do so blatantly. It’s you who insists on calling that dynamic a relationship. The narcissist, on the other hand, doesn’t even realize or care that they’re supposed to be in it. They don’t aspire to be in a real relationship and likely thought they made that clear when they started devaluing you.
So, in reality, narcissists don’t destroy relationships. How can they destroy something they were never truly a part of?
___________________________
Of course, let’s dive in.
Listen up! Narcissists are the architects of their own demise. But let’s break it down, real alpha style.
First off, you have to understand that a narcissist is always in the hunt for validation. They crave admiration like a lion craves the thrill of the chase. It’s all about ego-feeding. But here's the twist – they’ll never find satisfaction. It’s an endless pit. See, they need their partner to constantly boost their self-esteem, praise them, worship their every move. It becomes a dictatorship of incessant neediness.
Now, put yourself in the partner’s shoes. At first, it might feel like you’re dating a king or queen. The charm, the confidence – it’s addicting. Narcissists can make you feel like you’re the only person in the universe. But quickly, that charm turns into control. Their partner is forced into a role of servitude. Their dreams, ambitions, even opinions start getting overshadowed – nothing more than a shadow to the narcissist's spotlight.
Which brings me to the classic cycle. Boom! The narcissist will build you up just to tear you down. Gaslighting, manipulation, making their partners question their own reality and sanity. It’s psychological warfare. Slay your spirit right down the middle so you feel like you need them. They isolate you from family, friends, caging you in their own little kingdom of chaos.
It’s their world and you're just living in it.
Eventually, the facade starts to crack. No matter how grand you think you are, people catch up. Their false self can’t hold up forever. The partner sees the truth – the insecurity, the fragility masked as grandiosity. Once that mask slips, respect is broken, trust goes out the window. It’s a house of cards collapsing inwards.
Here’s when things turn explosive. The narcissist can't handle being exposed, so they go on the offensive. Blame-shifting, calling out every fault in their partner to deflect from their own failures. Their partner, drained and depleted, either breaks away or is left as a hollow shell. The relationship becomes so toxic it implodes.
But here’s the kicker: it’s always a pattern. The narcissist never learns, never grows.
They move to the next target, bringing the same hellfire and chaos. It’s all about the next high. No introspection, no growth. Ironically, for someone so obsessed with their own greatness, they never achieve true fulfillment, never savor the tranquility of a genuine, loving relationship.
At the end of the day, a narcissist is their own worst enemy. Their endless quest for validation becomes their undoing. Every relationship burned to ashes, every bridge scorched beyond recognition. They’ll never change because they refuse to look in the mirror and see the flaws staring back.
Want to avoid this chaos? Value humility, integrity, respect. Build real connections, based on mutual growth and support. That’s the real power, the real strength – something a narcissist will never grasp. Stay sharp. Stay strong.
That’s it. That’s the truth. Real talk.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-destroy-their-own-relationships
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The narcissist/psychopath uses communication as a means to control you and “stonewalling” is a passive aggressive technique used to send the message you are NOT valuable or worthy of communication.
This is especially hard to co parent with, as no issues around children gets resolved, Most people get dismantled during a silent treatment because there are questions that are NOT getting answered, and topics that receive no mutual understanding. The silent treatment is a way to assert power and should not be confused with no contact. No contact is a way to heal from narcissistic abuse. It gives the target /victim respite from abuse.
The silent treatment is a punishment for the victim/survivor to understand that they are not in control. The narcissist is in control. My domestic violence therapist says speak and stand in the truth. Many survivors will struggle to find their voice after abuse. Keep speaking up as you are worthy of your voice. Your testimony may be the road map to another’s healing journey. Keep healing survivors.
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Is it possible to be a narcissist and a really nice person at the
same time?
No.
My father just sent me a supposedly loving birthday card and a huge check I will not cash.
Behind my back he has smeared my name.
He has turned the entire family against me.
A musician that I know keeps sending me supposedly nice emails.
Telling me he missed my show and wanted to work with me again.
Behind my back he has smeared my name to a local promoter I actually referred him to so he could get a show.
These people have no shame, remorse and will throw you under the bus at a drop of the hat.
This includes your family, relatives, husband, wife, lover, friend.
Them being nice is all an act to reel you into their web of abuse and trick other people to get power and control.
____________________________
Yes, it is possible for someone to exhibit narcissistic traits while also being perceived as a nice person. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and not everyone who has narcissistic traits meets the clinical criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Here are a few points to consider:
Narcissistic Traits: Many people can display narcissistic traits, such as a desire for admiration or a lack of empathy, without being overtly harmful or abusive. They might still engage in kind or generous behaviors, especially if they feel those actions will enhance their image.
Situational Behavior: Individuals may behave differently in various contexts. Someone might be very charming and considerate in social settings but struggle with deeper relationships or empathy.
Social Skills: Some narcissists can be very skilled at social interactions, using their charm to create a favorable impression. This can lead others to view them as nice, even if their underlying motivations are self-serving.
Cognitive Dissonance: People can hold conflicting traits or behaviors. A person might genuinely care about others in some situations while also exhibiting narcissistic behaviors in others.
Personal Growth: Some individuals with narcissistic traits may work on self-improvement and develop greater empathy and kindness over time, leading to a more balanced personality.
In summary, it's possible for someone to be both narcissistic and nice, depending on their traits, behaviors, and the contexts in which they operate.
________________________________
Going back and forth alternating between cruel and nice is text book devaluation.
They are cruel to break your spirit, make you feel lower than a snake's belly, remove your self respect, then they will do something that in a normal relationship would hardly get noticed but in your frame of mind it seems like a very thoughtful and nice thing, it could be as simple as them bringing you a cup of coffee, then its back to the mean cruel bullshit or the silent treatment.
If this is happening to you, you need to make a conscious decision to not let it affect you. Recognise it for what it is and protect yourself.
They are trauma bonding you. This crap will give them rent free space in your head after they are long gone. It’s the foundation for an escape route for them just in case they fail with the other source and I guarantee you they have one or two of those.
Protect yourself.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-be-a-narcissist-and-a-really-nice-person-at-the-same-time
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:keelhaul:
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For some of us, making boundaries isn’t easy because of childhood issues. Remember a boundary isn’t to keep people out or direct them how to behave.
A boundary is what we tell others what we will and won’t tolerate for our own personhood and comfort. We Are Allowed To Have Our Boundaries. DO NOT LET THE NARCISSISTIC PERSON minimize or disregard your boundaries, as not important or fair.
Only you decide what’s fair in what you will and won’t tolerate. It’s okay for you to have a boundary and walk away when you feel you are being disrespected or having your boundaries violated. Journal it, and if it happens three times or more it’s a pattern and it’s a toxic relationship. Healthy people will respect your boundaries and discuss your discomforts. Narcissistic abuse survivors, keep Learning and Healing.
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.
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The Moment Narcissists Realize You’re No Longer Fooled!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2COzZS77qng
:tello" 'I don't wanna who they ant'tn... And the thgat are stuoid.
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editorial. Oooops.
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:notsmee: :ni: :troll2: :sorry:
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This video has been removed for violating YouTube's policy on violent or graphic content
https://www.youtube.com/live/eRMSOXcFRes
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Narcissistic abuse is a public health issue and not a reflection of your character, but rather the maladaptive behaviors of someone, who causes ABUSE in the relational space. It’s traumatizing and destabilizing to the lives of many. It cannot be said enough “they are predators”.
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From: Ron Tello <m86thecat@yahoo.com>
To: Robert Farrell <keg911@aol.com>
Sent: Monday, September 23, 2024 at 03:34:58 AM PDT
Subject: Your show
This video has been removed for violating YouTube's policy on violent or graphic content
From:
Redacted
To:
Ron Tello
Mon, Sep 23 at 6:09 AM
Because bob let Jim dox johnny yarborough the violent part was when he showed Johnny's criminal history you can't do that so johnny there should be somewhere in the email bob got that should tell him who did it when someone is reporting youtube usually gives you a timestamp where the violation occurred once you look at the time stamp then you can know who reported you if not then youtube must have done it on its own let bob know this please.
From:
Redacted
To:
Ron Tello
Mon, Sep 23 at 6:19 AM
They need to stop allowing jim to do whatever he wants on their platforms he is going to get these channels did if it was on my shite I would have dropped him immediately not caring how mad he gets I don't think bob likes the idea of you being on my show I can't think of any other reason as to why he would use your avatar like that
From:Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
To:
Redacted
Mon, Sep 23 at 1:55 PM
Hi.
Avatar is public domain, I don't care how my work is used and abused. It's actually a tad flattering.
Bob, everybody is afraid of me. It's psychology at its worst.
They will talk about me but won't talk with me.
Bob has shown himself to be a hypocrite on several occasions.
(I plan to address the issue on my show. My new equipment is on its way and when I get it....the show begins in a very unconventional way.)
I blogged a bit of it, from his community page.
Give a looksie:
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=510.25600
Here's the full avatar/meme Bob exploited last night.
:tello: "The show has returned".
https://www.youtube.com/live/eRMSOXcFRes
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From:
Redacted
To:
Ron Tello
Mon, Sep 23 at 6:11 AM
I don't know what was up with bob using your picture but when he does that he's trying to make a statement.
From:Ron Tello
m86thecat@yahoo.com
To:
Redacted
Mon, Sep 23 at 1:56 PM
Well if he is trying to offend me it's not working.
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:tello: Do empaths scare people?
I don't think that scare is the right word. I would say it's more like intimidate people. I believe emotions scare people. I don't understand the reason for that however.
To be able to feel is the most important thing we have as humans. Empathy truly is what love is. When we love the people in this world whether or not they are close to you is our true calling during this life.
To love one another. In fact if you use the Bible for your " basic instructions before leaving earth" as a guide than you are living your purpose. The new covenant that Jesus gave to us was only to laws: love God first and love others as you love yourself.
I think that people are too worried about appearances and have stopped caring about others and selfishness is darkness.
When light shines upon darkness, it is intense.
___________________________
People, in general, are dangerous.
A better word to use is ‘threatening’.
Empaths threaten people who cling to their self-delusions and public masks.
They don’t mean to. They see the falseness, the cord to pull, because they see a person in pain.
Empaths threaten the status quo. They can’t stand to see injustice or suffering. They will spout some serious truth and f*ck sh*t up for those who cause such imbalance.
Unless you’ve got some serious evil you keep hidden, Empaths are of no danger or threat to you.
______________________________
Empaths can evoke a range of reactions in others, and whether they scare people often depends on individual perspectives and experiences. Here are a few reasons why some people might feel intimidated or scared by empaths:
Intense Emotions: Empaths are highly sensitive to the emotions of others, which can sometimes lead to overwhelming emotional experiences. People who are not used to such depth of feeling may find this intensity unsettling.
Vulnerability: Empaths often have a strong sense of vulnerability, which can make others feel exposed or uncomfortable, especially if they are not in touch with their own emotions.
Perceived Supernatural Abilities: Some people might view empaths as having a "sixth sense" or special abilities to perceive emotions, which can lead to feelings of awe or fear.
Boundary Issues: Empaths may struggle with personal boundaries, sometimes absorbing the emotions of others. This can create discomfort for those who feel their emotions are being intruded upon.
Misunderstanding: People unfamiliar with the concept of empathy may misinterpret an empath's behavior as being overly emotional or dramatic, leading to fear or discomfort.
While some may feel scared or intimidated, many people are drawn to empaths for their ability to listen, understand, and provide support. Ultimately, reactions vary widely depending on personal experiences and beliefs about emotional sensitivity.
_____________________________
It’s funny that all narcissist commenting here will deny the existence of the Empath. Yes, we exist. No, I did not put my Ex N’s needs above my own. Hence the reason his ass was kicked to the curb. Not all Empaths are co-dependent. I fell in love with a total fraud. I held him accountable on a million occasions for his shite behavior, because I could feel in my bones that something was very “off” about him as a human being.
I have an uncanny intuition and can often feel when something is not quite right about ones behaviors or people in general. It’s an energy and a vibe they put out into the universe that gives them away. Narcissist tend to vibrate on a very low frequency.
Narcissists don’t have the ability to really read a person or to feel the human condition. They are however very experienced at manipulation. They have no emotional empathy, whatsoever. Cognitive Empathy is not the same as emotional. Cognitive Empathy is the ability to understand ones pain, joy, bliss, grief, ETC…but it does not afford them the ability to actually feel it. (Even non Empaths, who are NOT narcissists, have the ability on some level to feel ones energy.)
So naturally, narcissists assume Empaths do not exist. This is not shocking to Empaths or news worthy. It just is what it is. We are not fictional characters. Some of us have a very heightened sense of Empathy. Does not make us crazy or codependent. I would rather be hyper-vigilant and feel EVERYTHING, than have to live in the skin of a narcissist on any given day. I would rather suffer their abuse, than be the one inflicting harm unto others.
Narcissists can deny an Empaths existence in this world. I get it. I would LOVE to deny the existence of narcissists in this world. However, I live in reality, so here you all are. And here I am.
I cannot speak for all Empaths but I can speak from my own experience at least… My ex narcissist is very afraid of me. Whoever told narcissists that Empaths are easy to walk on and never experience anger or angry outbursts of any kind, needs a right smack to the back of the head. While I may understand, sympathize and even actually feel someone’s energy, that in no way makes me a doormat or a garbage receptacle for a narcissists rage and shame.
Believe me when I tell you that eventually my squirrely wrath was felt by the ex narcissist on a level in which he won’t dare cross my path or cross me ever again in his miserable sham of a life. I am no one a narcissist really wants to go up against. I don’t back down either. Especially when I’m fighting with integrity and honor for what is right and just. And especially for the underdog.
So let’s just see who would win your hunger games. While the battle may take time, you will eventually walk away from the battle exhausted and still hungry, because at some point, even I won’t be worth your time. And this, my dear narcissists, is done by design.
Stay blessed my fellow Empaths.
https://www.quora.com/Do-empaths-scare-people
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Are Narcissists Afraid of You?
6 Reasons They Never Come Back!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khBTvIVxFqk
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Do narcissists deserve sympathy?
IT’S NOT A MATTER OF WHAT PEOPLE DESERVE…
IT’S SIMPLY THAT YOUR SYMPATHY IS MISPLACED.
YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
Anything invested in a narcissist is wasted and a waste of your time.
Like, the biggest and most substantial waste of time.
Maybe ever.
Not only that, your sympathy, empathy and compassion;
They will be weaponized against you.
The narcissist counts on these things, from you.
It’s already baked into their game plan.
They will be weaponized against you in order to continue to inflict the maximum amount of damage.
At the most opportune time of their choosing, in which it will REALLY sting.
If you know this, you effectively abuse yourself.
You’re a willing participant.
And most of us, don’t like being abused.
It’s not a good feeling.
And moreover, with a narcissist, this will ALWAYS be the end result.
Nothing you ever do, or don’t do, will result in any alternative outcome.
The die is already cast.
So again, it’s not what anyone deserves or doesn’t deserve.
It’s only that you’re wasting your time, effort, money, and energy.
And, we only live once.
The hour is getting late, and there isn’t a moment to spare.
__________________________
No.
They know what they’re doing.
It’s a conscious decision to be an abuser.
They do the same kinds of abuse to many people their whole lives before targeting you.
Anyone who says any different is a narcissist or psychopath themselves or someone who is not educated.
No pity for the wicked.
______________________________
Yes. From a distance.
Feeling compassion, though, is not the same thing as accepting abuse or mistreatment. It’s not the same thing as forgiveness, in my opinion. The narcissist in my life is an incredibly damaged human being, the damage was not of his own doing, and for that, I have compassion. I do not forgive the damage he has caused, though, and I don’t feel any moral responsibility to do so. Maybe some day I will, and I hope I do for my own sake, but not because he “deserves” it.
TLDR*: I have compassion for the pain he carries, but not the pain he causes.
________________________________
Hell no!
On a bad day, I think that all they deserve is to be locked up or send away to the fictional island of “Narcos”, where they can spend the rest of their sad lifes eating away at each other.
On a good day, I just think that they don’t deserve anything whatsoever!
_________________________________
Do Narcissists deserve compassion?
Yesterday, not literally, but yesterday I had such compassion. Let me qualify this again by saying my answer applies to the pwd NPD I knew (Covert malignant) and any other narcissists who knowingly target and abuse their victims. It was that compassion that allowed me to allow the the Narcissist to re-enter my life. Only to be abused. Again. And then again. Til I had enough of the lies, false apologies and promises. It was that compassion that was my undoing.
Narcissists know exactly that what they are doing to victim partners, they know they are immoral . Not only that, they often get sadistic pleasure out of getting away with as much as mindfuckery- use and abuse- as they can. Why else would they hide and isolate their victims, if they didn’t know they are wrong?
Narcissists also hide from the law the crimes they commit, stealthy enough just to stay below the radar much of the time.
So maybe I have compassion for any past neglect or abuse that may have happened back in their childhood. But as adults, this is no excuse for intentionally inflicting pain and damaging others as way of life. They have a choice in how they treat others. No, I have no compassion for Narcissists. From my particular stance it serves no purpose, compassion only feeds their narcissism, they are pathological predators.
And so as others have stated, I’ll save my compassion for those that deserve it: the victims of narcissistic abuse, or any type of abuse, including my Quorian brothers and sisters and me. Narcissistic abuse is a very real thing and I’ve compassion for you whose lives are forever changed but who do the hard work to put the pieces (of their lives ) back together again.
To be whole Again. Be blessed, because you have much love to give and the will receive love from another who equally loves you back.
* "TLDR" is an abbreviation for "too long; didn't read"
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/Do-narcissists-deserve-sympathy
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Is there a narcissist in your life? How do you deal with him or her?
Ignore them. Go no contact. Do not engage with them. If you must deal with a narc, use the Grey Rock Method. Never give them a reaction, especially an emotional reaction. Do not give them any narc supply, which includes reactions, any emotions, adulation, praise, attention, etc. Be boring!
____________________________
The worst experience in my entire lifetime! They decimated my life and took everything I ever loved. So yeah, they are the utmost representation of evil.
__________________________
You go with the flow.
You take the path of least resistance.
You go downstream, do not paddle upstream.
You learn to accept them for who they are.
You realise that this is all about you, it is not about them.
It is your turn to learn that you should not look for happiness, fulfilment, or satisfaction, in others.
It is your job to instead realise you need to find the essence of those feelings in yourself, and then you will match up with people who are compatible with those feelings within you.
Resist the feeling which may dawn on you from time to time, which is that you should change the world and the people in it. That is not your job.
You can only focus on changing yourself, and the narcissist would have taught you a lot in a short amount of time… if you knew how to listen.
Now, it's your turn to learn the lessons, do not resist the changes which are trying to unravel within you.
It probably means you will need to leave the narcissist, amongst many other changes.
Go with the flow.
_________________________
No contact is the best rule of thumb. They are consummate manipulators and will become utter poison in your life no matter how much you think you can keep them at arm’s length. That said, there are times when you are in contact with one because of work or a friend’s relationship.
So I would recommend treating such individuals always at arm’s length. Apathy is your best “control” within the relationship. Do not give them any ammo in terms of your weaknesses, secrets or vulnerabilities as they will only use this against you eventually when they’re looking to discredit you.
If they sense you’re on to them they will more than likely want to distance themselves from YOU since they fear being revealed. Apathy will insure they will have no interest in making you their “source”.
https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-narcissist-in-your-life-How-do-you-deal-with-him-or-her
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Why will a narcissist stick to a lie when you have proof and they know it?
They do not care about the truth. They do not care about morals, honesty, integrity. They don’t have the same agenda as neurotypicals. Most NT’s don’t even have an agenda. Narcs always have an agenda. And it’s always hidden.
If you knew their agenda, you would run away and fast. They must hide it in order to get you to succumb to their agenda, unknowingly. If you look for it, you will find it. The light bulb will go off in your head.
It’s never about whether they are lying, not lying. It’s not even about their words they are choosing. It’s not about what they are pretending it’s about. They are telling you a story about this person or that person. They are talking about this or that. It’s not about this or that. It’s about the emotional chaos, sadness, or anger their words are creating inside of you. FUEL, BABY, THAT’S PRECIOUS FUEL to them. Your emotional rise = their gain. Fuel.
Their words are the train car driving into your soul. The train is there to pick up the passengers. The passengers are your emotions that they then steal from you, driving them, empowering them, keeping them going yet another day.
What is it all about? The lies. It’s about pushing your buttons. They know them, and they will push them. They exploit them. They know your weakness. They know your strengths. They will use your weakness against you.
They will use your strengths for their own gain. You’ll find yourself giving them all the work, effort, things, that you should keep for yourself. But no, they are better than you, they should have the best of everything, not you. They know what makes you happy and excited. They will pretend to offer you that. But don’t be fooled, they only dangle it to pull you in.
They will never fully deliver on that. You’ll be the one giving to them, not vice versa. They give you a little in the beginning, only to withhold it and later take, take take. They little they gave will far be out shadowed by what you will give them over the long haul.
They are full of false promises and big words that sound so good. Too good to be true all right. They seem so magical, so charming, so charismatic. All a facade. They are charmers all right… it’s the apple on a stick being dangled in front of a horse, always 1 foot away. They know what makes you angry.
They work hard to get you emotionally off balance. It’s the best way to keep you confused, adrenaline pumping, emotionally toxic. Why? So you can’t think straight. They will think for you. They keep you off balance. They keep you second guessing. They keep you hoping for something you’ll never get but you believe you will.
FUEL. Ahhhh… the ever wonderful fuel they so desperately need, every moment, all day long. And you’re just the one to give it to them. They are taking, taking, taking, fuel, all the while you’re giving it, trying to get them to admit to their lie. They are laughing all the way to the bank with their FUEL they are stealing from you as you are floating on your cloud of integrity.
They always have a hidden agenda. This agenda is in place to keep them on top of their pedestal of superiority. It keeps them above you. You’re an underling, and don’t forget it. Sure, they will say you’re their favorite… and right now you are, because you're giving them fuel. You’re still an underling.
You’re just the bestest slaviest-slave they know, right now. (Richard Grannon coined that term, and I absolutely love it! It’s so true). But, in an hour, when they leave and go get fuel somewhere else, that person is their new favorite.
They are the master. You are the servant. Don’t ever forget it. If you do forget, they will remind you. You have a degree? They are better at that field than you, and they achieved their level of greatness without a degree, so you were the stupid one who had to go to school to learn it.
You have a high IQ? So do they, and they don’t have to brag about it, because they already surpassed you and their IQ is no doubt higher than yours. Go ahead, insult them. See how well that goes over. They don’t care about the truth or lies. They don’t care about your proof or lack of it. They care about superiority.
Being better than everyone in yours and their circle of people. They care about getting fuel. They care about you doing what they say and when they say to do it. They keep score, and it’s always 3 for them and one or none for you.
So you care about the truth? Oh, good… they know this and will use it against you. They will lie just to push your buttons. they love watching you squirm. Then you have to wrestle with your moral fiber. Do you be true to yourself and call out their lie in order to seek truth and justice? Or do you stay within your kindness boundary, your do-unto-others philosophy, and not be rude to another human?
After all, if they don’t admit to the lie, maybe they believe it’s the truth, right? And if they don't admit to the lie, then maybe you’re somehow wrong. Maybe somehow, someway, they aren’t lying, right? Maybe you got the facts misconstrued. Maybe you are mistaken. Maybe you’re crazy in the head like they’ve been saying for some time now. maybe they’re right and you’re wrong.
And how awful would that be, to be wrong and accuse someone else of a horrible lie. Now wouldn’t that make YOU the lesser, less moral BAD person??? And them, the good person? Yes, why yes it would. they know all of this. they know how you are. they know your moral fiber, character and eternal goodness. they know the demons you wrestle with, they know you care about truth and justice, the facts, honesty, decency and they purposely extort this.Why?
Because they can. Because it’s fun for them. BECAUSE IT GAINS THEM FUEL. BECAUSE IT ACCOMPLISHES THEIR HIDDEN AGENDA. THAT’S ALL THEY CARE ABOUT. Checkmark. Mission accomplished. Another round goes to them. Another notch in their bedpost. You, siting their in your moral fiber, while they keep winning each round.
They will create these lies obscurely, as in strongly insinuating, but not absolutely stating it. That way, they can say, “I never said that.” And then if they did say it, and you can prove it, they say, “I never MEANT that, oh you took me SERIOUSLY?” As they laugh. Round 500 goes to the Narc. But you, you keep coming back for more. More lies, of course. You get angrier. They get more fuel.
They stay on top as master, while you grovel around beneath them, seeking out their approval, lying in the filth that spews out of their mouth and onto the ground at their feet where you’re lying… you trying to get them to admit to the truth. They are yanking your chain. They are dangling you on the yo-yo, while they hold the string. They are the puppet master, and you are the puppet. Think not? How do you feel around them? Like shite, depressed, sad, angry.
That’s how you feel. Except for those fleeting, few and far between highs that you live for. Those are called bones they throw you. The bones gets less meaty, and sparser. So why the hell do you keep going back for more? Why do you continue to be around them? Because you just KNOW you can get them to admit to the truth, so you can win. But no… They win every round. Checkmate.
If you really want to win, you simply find out their hidden agenda. It’s easy. It’s that which THEY keep coming back to YOU for. Money. Sex. Attention. Power over you. Something you’ve got which they want. A nicer car. A better place to live. A nice meal out. A quick roll in the sack. And, you give it to them, or they wouldn’t come back. They will even pretend they don’t want it.
But… they always take it once it’s offered. You think it’s your idea that which you offer them. Oh no, sweetheart… they got you to give it, AND they got you to believe it was your idea. You think you’re autonomous, an adult who makes her own decisions. Oh no. The chain. They are yanking it, even when not in your presence, because you’re thinking about them 24/7.
So, how do you win? How do you find the truth? You withhold that which they want. Then, YOU walk away from THEM, and you do it BEFORE giving them fuel. That’s how you win. But it will only be this round. There will be another, and another, another round as you go back in the ring. That is, until you continue to NOT give them fuel and they realize it’s useless to try. You will then see the discard as they leave and don’t come back.
But, get them to admit to the lie? Oh hell, no. They count on your honesty. Your morals. Your integrity. That’s exactly what they need in order to gain fuel from you. Realize this. They are using your goodness against yourself.
You’ll then realize that it’s you who are lying. To yourself. If you look deep within yourself, you know the truth. You pretend to believe they have some goodness, honestly, and decency within them. But have you really seen it? Are they there for you when the chips are down?
Oh hell no. Them being a decent, moral human being…. That’s the biggest lie of all. They aren’t. They can’t. You can’t give away or be that which you don’t have or are not. They don’t have it in them. No remorse. No guilt. No true sympathy. No empathy. Realize this. To display any of these traits, they have to fake it. Fake. Fake. Fake.
The thing is, lies must always have a cover of truth in order to be hidden, in order to exist. Lies embed themselves in truth… they are always covered in truth. You are the truth. Extract yourself, removing the truth and they will then be exposed, having to deal with their own trash.
So start with you. Quit lying to yourself. Walk away from them. Quit beating your head against a wall trying to tell yourself that which you already know deep inside of yourself. The truth of who they are. Liars. When a liar lies, then you actually have the truth. They are a liar. They just proved it.
There is your justice. Knowing they are true to who they really are and not who you both pretend they are. A liar. A cheat. A manipulator. A bad person. A thief who steals others goodness and energy, things. And you, you stopping the lies you tell yourself… that they are a good and decent human. No.
They are not. Stop the madness. No, not everyone is like you, caring about goodness, truth and honesty. It starts and ends with you. Not them. We must face the truth of who they are. We must face who WE ARE to expect them to be, that which THEY AREN’T. Justice will be served when you start giving to yourself, that which you used to give away to them. Your goodness. Your integrity. Your power. Your servantry. Your autonomy. Now that is justice… when you keep all that for yourself. You deserve it. They don’t. That is truth. You taking care of you. You’re the only one who truly can. The truth will set you free.
https://www.quora.com/Why-will-a-narcissist-stick-to-a-lie-when-you-have-proof-and-they-know-it
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Are narcissists evil or mentally ill, and do they know that they are?
A person who is mentally ill has impaired thinking and behavior without much personal control. Mental illness can be treated. A person will show improvement in their behavior after getting the right treatment.
Narcissists are evil in human disguise. Narcissists come into relationships only to use and abuse you. If you see, narcissists don't contribute anything positive in your life; whatever they do is negative. If narcissists do something positive, then they have hidden motives behind it.
You love narcissists deeply; you do everything for narcissists; you sacrifice your needs, choices, and decisions; what you get in return is abuse and blame. You have no answers for their horrible behavior.
You compare narcissists with evil; they both have the same motives: abusing and taking everything from you.
Anything good a narcissist does for you comes with a price. Narcissists are takers, users, and abusers. Narcissists not only cause problems in your life; they cause problems in every profession and every field. Getting rid of narcissists is a blessing in disguise.
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They know what they are doing to you.
They know it hurts you and THEY DON'T CARE
So yes, they are EVIL
And they are WEAK
Scapegoats have gone through hell and back and are still loving, kind, giving and empathetic.
And this was back to people who abused them.
Compare these people who have gone through the exact same abuse accept worse in a narcissist family to the golden child..
Narcissists are WEAK and what they do to people is EVIL.
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They are evil, and they do know it. They target their victims and start immediately the inconsistencies that sooner than later just create a terrible feeling of unworthiness, and lack of caring about you or your feelings. and when you try to talk to them about it its always dismissive and nothing ever changes.
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No more than a mosquito does, buzzing around your head, looking for a landing site.
Narcissists have rewired their brains, short circuted them. Instead of the long and arduous process of doing things of value in order to improve their self-esteem, narcissists take the quicker and more ecstatic path of stripping value from others.
First, the narcissist slips their proboscis inside you, injecting a narcotic and anti coagulant, to induce euphoria, and prevent your natural defences from clotting up and blocking their feeding tube.
Then when you're feeling all warm and cosy, they begin to drain you of good feelings. They swell and bloat with the stolen validation that is supposed to sustain you, keep you moving forward in life.
Once this horrid process is done, you're always left itching for more. Resist this urge.
Never enable a bloodsucker, a leech, a parasite,
They spread disease!
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Narcissists may not think they are a bad person but are fully aware of their bad actions.
Narcissists can view themselves as many things, attractive, intelligent, enigmatic, and superior to name a few. They live life on their own terms based on their needs regardless of the cost to others. People in their life are their for a purpose, namely to be used. They aren’t bothered that they treat people badly and justify it without self blame. If people in their life catch on or react to their bad behavior they discard them or continue to treat them poorly if allowed.
Narcissists may also attempt to cover their bad behavior by doing faux selfless deeds to help others. This is a clever way to make them look like a good person. What people don’t see is the hidden payback that will be expected. Nothing is free, real, or healthy in a relationship with a narcissist - it is all bad.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Are-narcissists-evil-or-mentally-ill-and-do-they-know-that-they-are
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Narcissists find fault in everybody but themselves.
How Narcissists Will Test You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmGye9bSUAY
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Narcs always say, “It’s only YOU that I’m like this with, you’re so hard to be around”. Ugh, they blame their victims for their own nasty behavior…. But really they are saying, "how dare you call me out on my BS!" They hate our strength and truth.
Angry Narcissists Are Master Whiners
It's no secret that narcissists have anger issues that can be ugly and punitive. But Dr. Les Carter exposes how their anger is tied to whiny complaints befitting a confused child. They are illustrating how incapable they feel when required to maneuver through adult highs and lows. Your task is to see their anger for what it is...a desperate attempt to make you responsible for their immature ineptitude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrfsGsw9TBE
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How do empaths destroy narcissists?
1. They can deeply hurt the narcissist’s pride.
People who are very perceptive and emotionally intelligent can see through the narcissist’s facade. They know exactly what triggers the narcissist and aren't afraid to call them out. With their strong resolve, honesty, and reasonable anger, they can shatter the narcissist’s fake sense of self, causing long-term damage.
Unlike the narcissist, these self-aware empaths don’t need validation from others. They face the narcissist with confidence, standing firm in their principles and sense of right and wrong. Their truth overshadows the narcissist’s lies, making them a tough opponent.
2. They set firm boundaries that are non-negotiable.
A strong empath is honest about who they are and what they will not tolerate. They value peace and self-worth, and they don’t let others pressure them into doing anything they don’t want to. They set clear, firm boundaries right away, without room for negotiation.
This upfront rejection is something a narcissist cannot handle, as they expect complete control over others. However, a super empath will never accept such treatment and will quickly end the conversation if the narcissist doesn’t back down.
Highly empathetic people can easily recognize the narcissist’s fake persona and sense the emptiness beneath. They quickly see that the narcissist has a distorted view of themselves, others, and the world.
Their sensitivity helps them read the narcissist’s behavior and avoid falling into their manipulation. Any attempts by the narcissist to manipulate them will be met with predictable resistance.
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Empaths destroy narcissists by fighting fire with fire - they suppress their empathic traits and allow their narcissistic traits to come to the fore. The manipulated becomes the manipulator and they make life miserable for the narcissist, which will eventually lead to the narcissist leaving and staying away. At that point the exhausted empath regroups and allows their narcissistic traits to recede and their empathic ones to strengthen again.
At least, that’s the theory. Some call it an empath supernova. A faster, less harrowing method of defeating a narcissist is just to leave - cut them off in every way, go no contact, and never allow them access to use you in any way again.
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There is a dark side to true Empaths - once they’ve reached their capacity, as they carry so much of others’ negativity and drama around without really even knowing all of it, they snap. They go cold and/or manipulative to protect themselves.
I imagine once they’ve had enough of the Narc’s fun, they’ll turn - but understand that it’s not to defeat or destroy… it’s to protect themselves. My advice is to stand up for yourself - don’t let a Narc’s cruel games defeat YOU. That’s how you ‘win’ with a Narc.
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I don’t recommend you do any thing to defeat the narcissist. Why? What would it accomplish? Nothing but an ongoing battle. Trying to defeat the narcissist would only keep you entangled with him/her. Why spend time trying to defeat a person who never loved you, cared for you, connected to you, manipulated you, love bombed you, lied to you, cheated on you, etc..?
Your focus should be on yourself. How do I get out of this toxic relationship? How do I get healed? How do I move on? How do I get freed mentally, physically, and spiritually? How do I defend myself? Why not think about the person who is the most important one in this relationship, that’s you, not the narcissist. The best way you can defeat a narcissist is go no contact, enjoy life, be the best you, and move on to sooner or later in life, find someone who can love you for you, and wouldn’t think twice about abusing you.
That’s the way an empath defeats the narcissist. “You will no longer have control over my life”. “You will no longer have access to me”. “You will no longer cross my boundaries”. “You will no longer have to hide whatever you’re doing from me because I no longer care what you do”. “ I’m free from your demonic curse”. Stay protected and stay free that is definitely the best defeat. You have to be willing to put in the work for you.
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In my opinion, an empath always, always beats the narcissist.
The empathic person lives in the grace of God and the narcissist does everything to please the Devil.
Now who is the more powerful?
Enough said.
So no matter what the empathic person goes through, there is a huge force behind that person to survive and to become happy again.
And behind the narcissist is an evil darkness who manages to deceive even the narcissist.
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It's important to note that the idea of empaths "destroying" narcissists is not a healthy or productive way to approach relationships. A better approach is to focus on recognizing and avoiding unhealthy relationships, including those with narcissists.
That being said, empaths and narcissists can often be drawn to each other in relationships. Empaths are often very caring and empathetic individuals who are highly attuned to the emotions of others. Narcissists, on the other hand, may be drawn to empaths because they can provide a source of validation and admiration.
In order to protect themselves from narcissists, empaths can work on setting healthy boundaries, recognizing red flags in relationships, and prioritizing their own well-being. This may include seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist, as well as educating themselves about narcissism and other personality disorders.
Ultimately, the best way to "destroy" a narcissist is to avoid engaging with them altogether. Narcissists thrive on attention and validation, so by withholding these things and refusing to engage in their manipulative behaviors, it is possible to reduce their impact and protect yourself from their harmful effects.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-empaths-destroy-narcissists
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How can I fix a narcissist?
You cannot fix a Narcissist. There are experts of Psychology that cannot fix Narcissists. There is No Treatment and No Cure.
You didn't break the Narcissist and therefore you can't fix them. It isn't our job to fix other people No matter how much we love and care for them. They have to believe they need help and want the help.
Look, my mother was Dx in 2018 with NPD. She went to therapy for ten years before the Dx and it made her so much worst. She became more Grandiose, Selfish, Self-Entitled, Egocentric, Controlling, Hateful, and she started stealing more. When Narcissist go to therapy it isn't to help heal their traumas…it's to strengthen their “False-Self.”
People don't seem to understand that the Narcissist built the “False-Self” when he/she was a kid and continued to keep building the “False-Self” until he/she has it mastered. A Narcissist CANNOT & WILL NOT give up the “False-Self” and when they finally do it is nothing short of Hell. I saw my mother's true-self and it was down right horrifying and the negativity was so thick in our house you could cut it with a knife. Their humanity is gone and the older they get the worse they get!
I don't know why people think they can fix Narcissists when some of the greatest minds can't do it!
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No. In their minds, they have no problem that needs to be fixed. Everybody else, is a problem.
If you are unwilling to remain in this parasitic relationship -you are the problem.
If they find another fling, and you don’t like it - you are the problem.
If you have your own opinion, or if you are happy - you are the problem.
If you were an Angel, and sacrificed everything, including your last breath, you would be a problem, and a Narc would see you as a threat to their ego.
They never change for better for anybody, or any reason. They gradually turn into more hard core old and miserable Narcs.
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Everytime you work hard to help them, they will punish you for trying. They see the person trying to help them as a person telling them they are wrong, not good enough, or inferior. They punish you for doing nice things for them, yet also expect you to continue to do nice things for them.
They can't see you as a positive influence, because they think you are wanting them to change (and you are wanting them to change), you are judging them, showing the narc they are not perfect, and you are not behaving as if they are superior to you or smarter like they view themself to be.
So all your kindness gets you is contempt, hostility, anger, and the narc punishing you in secret while playing you for the fool. They will take what they want from you, lie, play you like they don't understand so that you will waste more time explaining, they will frustrate you, cause you to beg, and they do these things for pure enjoyment of watching you try so hard for them while you waste your time and they think you are stupid.
My ex won't work at a job. He doesn't want anyone telling him what to do, plus he always thinks he's an expert. He's not though, and he doesn't care but if you tell him he isn't doing a good job, he will steal from you.
The only thing my ex works hard and is really good at is stealing, lying, and pretending to be helpful while he is backstabbing you, and keeping secrets. He is only a hard worker when it benefits him and someone else is suffering.
He works hard at cheating you and cheating on you. He works hard at creating and telling stories of his greatness in some way, his knowledge, future faking, and gossiping lies about you so that he can isolate you from friends and family.
I once made a list of my ex's positive attributes and talents, I told him of a not for profit business I wanted to create, and that if he could be loyal to his work and the business he would fit perfectly in a certain important position at the business.
He listened with interest, took the list, and never even wanted the job made just for him. He did however show that list to people to convince them he was important and how I was begging for him to come back to me. He twisted everything around so that I looked desperate and needy and couldn't live without him.
To me, he only ghosted. Wouldn't talk to me, give me answers, try to move forward with business, nothing. Just used the compliments I have him to use against me, and feel good about himself.
You can't heal people that think they are perfect. You can't change someone who thinks they are superior to you. You can't guide to help a person who sees themself as smarter than you. You can't waste your time on people that will string you along until you have no time left to take care of yourself.
It's a narcissists wet dream for you to ignore your own needs to provide for their wants. One way or another you will suffer, and watching you suffer delights them and fills them with supply. They don't see how they cause their own problems, they see how they cause your problems.
That is the control over you that they crave. You become a puppet for them to play with. They don't care that you are helping or trying to create a win-win scenario, they only care that they win but you lose.
You can't be logical for an illogical person. You cannot care for an uncaring person. You cannot sacrifice for someone who wants to create havoc in your life.
Your life needs your attention. The narc will never try to prioritize you or give you space for your own needs. They will cause you to put your needs away and cater to them with everything you got. They think they win when they are actually losing.
It's just a tangled web they weave. In the end, they will watch as you are tangled in the web, then they will crawl away to build another web for some other sucker who dares to want to come too close to them.
You and I can not make a narc want to change. They are very comfortable with the way they behave. It's just a waste of your time, emotions, and creates problems for you.
Someday it will all be clear to them. Not!
Take care of yourself, let the narc figure it out for themself. They think they are smart, but they never learn the right lessons.
God bless.
https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-fix-a-narcissist-15?no_redirect=1
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For some of us, making boundaries isn’t easy because of childhood issues. Remember a boundary isn’t to keep people out or direct them how to behave. A boundary is what we tell others what we will and won’t tolerate for our own personhood and comfort. We Are Allowed To Have Our Boundaries. DO NOT LET THE NARCISSISTIC PERSON minimize or disregard your boundaries, as not important or fair.
Only you decide what’s fair in what you will and won’t tolerate. It’s okay for you to have a boundary and walk away when you feel you are being disrespected or having your boundaries violated. Journal it, and if it happens three times or more it’s a pattern and it’s a toxic relationship. Healthy people will respect your boundaries and discuss your discomforts. Narcissistic abuse survivors, keep Learning and Healing.
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:troll2:
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Are all narcissists losers?
Your narcissist is a loser.
They had to wear the mask and lovebomb, otherwise you would have seen what an actual loser they are. The charisma is just a front. Their words hold no value. They think if they say the right things and act a certain way they’ll get what they want. Which is ultimately to make you feel like sh!t because they are “better” than you.
They will still be doing the same activities 10 years from now. They know what they are doing. They could stop, seek help. They won’t because they don’t want to change. They ruin everything they have you are not the exception.
Everyone else is the problem, not them. You mean nothing to them. You were just a ride to the grocery store, sex, or an ATM. They don’t care about you whatsoever. They’ll have someone else the same night, they probably already forgot your name.
Go no contact. They will never stop being losers.
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Often…?
Always would be more accurate.
They, of course, would view their “successes and failures” from a narcissistic framework: new or recycled supply on hand; duping a partner (again) successfully & parasitically feeding off whomever they can hook into, etc.
Breaking a person psychically, emotionally, physically/sexually, financially and spiritually would give cause for a narcissist to celebrate - the epitome of a loser and abject failure.
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Well, let's see…………
They lack
Love
Empathy
Can't have a normal relationship with a partner for more than a few months at a time
Can't keep a job for very long , unless they're being coached or motivated by someone else
Can't make friends. They do have many acquaintances
Like to drink excessively
Like to partake in illegal drug substances
Can't manage money effectively
Have poor decision making
Make lousy business partners
Make poor parents. No nurturing on their part
Emotionally unavailable
For the most part, they don't have their own residence
For the most part, they do not have their own vehicle
Like to engage in criminal activity
For the most part, they have long rap sheets. In and out of jail or prison
They manipulate people
They control people
They abuse people, especially their significant others. They engage in terrible name calling, verbal abuse, mental abuse and some do engage in physical abuse
They punish their significant others with long silent treatments
They are extremely negative
They are grumpy
They are envious of others
They believe to be superior then others
They are secretive and act shady all the time
They can't be trusted with pretty much everything
They use people
They don't appreciate anything you do for them. They take people for granted
They have poor communication skills
They like to cheat on their significant others
They are pathological liars
They are vindictive. They hold grudges
They can't apologize for things that they say and do and really mean it
They have no remorse or guilt for things they say and do
They play emotional mind games all the time
They start off great in bed, but end up being mechanical and cold
They thrive on drama and chaos
They have to win at everything. They play dirty
They are never wrong
I could go on and on, but you get the idea!
You tell me, are they losers?
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The word loser often refers to someone with no ambition, who blames other people for their misery, and doesn't have a "life."
In that sense, are narcissists losers?
Narcissists prey on other people and get jobs through nepotism or sneaky means. I know NPDs who have lied on their resume to get jobs they don't deserve. They steal from people and use them.
Narcissists also blame other people, and gang up on them. This actually makes the victim the loser in a sense.
Narcissists have no authentic self, and many are "losers" in that regard, but they are popular with other losers like themselves.
Yes, narcissists are the true losers, because they get by through lying, cheating, stealing, being abusive, bullying, etc. And they are fake.
But society views them as "winners," because our society is sick and has strange priorities.
It's the real winners who have to put up with the bs they are doled out by a psychopathic society, combined with the abuses they've endured by narcissists.
In that sense, narcissists are losers, but the entire structure of society, the things you read about in your paper, the idiotic politicians, the vapid celebrities, the schoolteachers sleeping with students, the daily unaliving of innocents...we created this society because we feed energy into losers.
It's time to stop.
https://www.quora.com/Are-all-narcissists-losers
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:grouphug:
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Why do narcissists manipulate?
Depending on what happened to the narcissist as a child, and the control it had over them, they developed habits and various ways to cope and deal with it. They learned what they could control, even very small things. The idea being, someone wouldn’t allow me to say what I was thinking, left me alone when I was afraid, violated me in the dark, only allowed me to eat at a certain time even though I was very hungry earlier, left me with a person who verbally or physically abused me, made me wear clothes that I hated because kids laughed at me, never let me sleep with my door open, etc.
As a child, a feeling of total helplessness, no control over anything, made to feel that they didn’t matter. As time goes by, coping skills become habits, habits become intrenched and becomes a way of life therefore, whatever works for them gives them control, the control gives them power, so they learn to perfect them. They learn to read people to know what skills to bring forward in order to manipulate them to get what they want.
This constantly gives them back the control they didn’t have as a child. They never got over or got rid of the worthlessness they felt which is why when they get critiqued and or criticized, they blame, gaslight, lie, divert, deflect, take no responsibility, and will try to make it all about you.
They will not admit to being wrong, they’re extremely passive aggressive, will never apologize because the biggest part of them is saying, “nothing in this world is more wrong than what happened to you” therefore they cannot emphasize with anyone. As they go along in life encountering different people with different personality traits, they continue to perfect their skills.
They have all the patience in the world, they had to learn patience to tolerate their childhood. Never underestimate one, don’t try to fix them because they will hone in on it and see it as trying to control them with malicious intentions. After all, the people who made them feel worthless, were nice to them, gave them gifts, even spoke the words, “I love you”.
They don’t really need anything that you would have to offer because their life is all about them. Some may have pets and might seem to care about them because the pets can’t see them nor judge them, they control the pets, they become everything to the pets, but if that pet needs some kind of medical intervention, in pain etc.. they won’t get help for the pet because there’s no empathy.
Don’t ever think you can show them enough love to change them because they have no idea what it is to receive it because it looks like control and something to take their power away, besides, to themselves they’re still worthless. So to answer your question, who would dare stay around a person like this long enough to fall in love with them?
They know it, therefore if you have something they want, the observation starts and the manipulation begins. Unless you take heed to the red flags and break all ties, they will latch on to you with the grip of a pit bull, have the patience of Job, will consume you, devour you, then discard you.
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Narcissists manipulate for several reasons, often rooted in their psychological makeup and personality traits. Here are some key factors:
Self-Protection: Narcissists often have fragile self-esteem. Manipulation serves as a defense mechanism to protect their self-image and avoid feelings of inadequacy or shame.
Control and Power: Many narcissists seek to exert control over others to feel powerful and superior. Manipulating others allows them to maintain dominance in relationships and social situations.
Validation and Attention: Narcissists crave admiration and validation. They may manipulate others to receive praise, attention, or affirmation, reinforcing their self-worth.
Lack of Empathy: A hallmark of narcissism is a diminished ability to empathize with others. This lack of empathy can lead to manipulative behaviors, as they may not fully understand or care about the impact of their actions on others.
Fear of Abandonment: Narcissists may manipulate to prevent perceived threats to their relationships. They often fear abandonment or rejection, leading them to engage in controlling behaviors to keep others close
.
Emotional Exploitation: They may exploit the emotional vulnerabilities of others to achieve their goals, whether it’s gaining sympathy, avoiding responsibility, or achieving personal desires.
Avoiding Consequences: Manipulation can also be a way to evade accountability for their actions. By twisting situations or playing the victim, they can deflect blame and maintain their self-image.
Understanding these motivations can help individuals recognize manipulative behaviors and establish healthier boundaries in their relationships with narcissists.
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Narcissists have no moral compass and like to be in total control of their victims.
They only care about what they want. They have no love in their hearts. They take pleasure in manipulating and controlling your emotions and feelings. They have one mission.
Control and domination. A narcissist will spread lies, and you will feel defeated. They break you down. When you meet them, they are charming and complimentary.
They slowly turn into the person they are. They are con artists. They have black hearts. They will do whatever they want. You do it as they will abuse you, and you will fear them. They will destroy you and move on to someone else. They will leave you with nothing.
Or they will stay with you and beat you down. You will be depressed and lose all self-confidence; A narcissist will threaten you. They will tell all of your friends lies about you. They will watch you suffer and destroy your life. They will change your personality and drive you crazy. You can’t win with these liars and criminal minds. They will force you to do things against your will.
They will cause you great pain. Make you jealous on purpose. The outside world will think they are a prince of a guy. They treat the ones closest to them like garbage. They separate you from the world. They are ruthless.
You have no chance. If you stay, you will pay.
No excuses. Run Away from them.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-manipulate
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When Narcissist Feels Suffering And Regret Everything, This Is
What They Do
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhUvfSB2zJI
What Are The Hidden Triggers That Cause Narcissists To Panic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cYbmHvua9k
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How do you know when a narcissist is completely done with you forever?
Narcissists are 100% done with you forever after they do this:
1. They will become distant.
The first sign that a narcissist is done with you is that they will become distant. They will slowly stop spending time with you or answering your texts or calls. When they hang out with you, it'll be brief and awkward, like they're just tolerating it for now. If this happens to you, know that it will probably end soon.
2. They will ignore everything you say.
One of the signs a narcissist is done with you is that they will ignore everything you say. They might just disappear and stop responding to your emails and texts. They'll ignore you in public too. If you try talking to or saying something to them, they'll pretend that they don't hear you or ignore it altogether.
Narcissists tend to pretend they didn't hear what you said or repeat something back to you that has nothing to do with what you said. If they start tuning out all of your concerns and ideas, it's usually because they don't want to spend more energy on you than necessary.
3. They will devalue and criticize everything you do.
When they are done with you, narcissists will devalue and criticize everything you do. You are either perfect or worthless. Narcissists will constantly put you down, undermine your efforts, and criticize you. They will continuously nitpick at everything you say, do, and wear to put you down and make themselves feel better.
Narcissists will say things like, 'You're too fat,' 'You're ugly,' or 'No guy would ever want you.' Narcissists do this because they want to ensure that there's no way for you to feel good about yourself or be successful, so that they can feel superior to you.
4. They will not reply your texts or calls.
Suppose you're messaging or calling your narcissist, and they don't respond. In that case, they may not be interested in being with you anymore. They might even go days without responding. This is because they do not feel invested in you and have no intention of following up on the conversation.
They will simply ignore you, which is a way for them to let you know that you are no longer necessary to them. Narcissists are never really that interested in talking to people they don't see as being helpful to them in some way. So if they don't have any reason to talk to you anymore, it's because they're done with you.
5. They will spread nasty rumors about you.
When a narcissist is done with you, they'll try to destroy your reputation by spreading nasty rumors about you. They'll tell their friends and family that you cheated on them, stole money from them, or did something awful. They'll start talking behind your back and making up lies about how terrible of a person you are.
Narcissists might even go so far as to accuse you of things that aren't true or try to make it look like they're the victim in this situation. They'll tell people that you're crazy and that they don't want to be around you anymore. Narcissists wish everyone to think highly of them so they can feel better about themselves.
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CELEBRATE!
Ding dong, the witch is dead! Unfortunately, that is rarely the case, however, because a narcissist considers their former supply their permanent possession. They keep close tabs on you via mutual friends and social media looking for the precise moment to make a surprise appearance.
It often takes form in a seemingly innocuous or innocent “happy birthday” text. It’s all but a trap to lure you back. This chase feeds their bloviated egos and confirms for them they are still in control. Once you fall for the act, however, the game is over and the narc will proceed to punish you for making it work so hard.
What do you do next? RESEARCH as much as you can on the personality disorder otherwise you’re doomed to repeat the pattern again and again. The biggest mistake victims make is believing these human impostors are capable of change. They’re not.
They are incapable of feeling empathy. You don’t matter to them. Your only value is what you can provide for them. Causing chaos, strife and misery give narcs a sense of omnipotence. It’s why the NO CONTACT rule was created. The only healthy relationship with a narcissist is a faded memory and firm lesson of what to avoid for the rest of your life.
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When you've unmasked them, told them what they are, threatened them in some way (most often legal), or aggressively (verbal) insulted them and kicked them out. It could be one of these reasons or more.
While narcissists seem to enjoy arguing and setting people off, they don't like being dished this back, and they get a narcissistic wound when someone their equal in power comes along. The irony is that they often choose someone strong to bully, but they will leave eventually, knowing you’re going to figure them out. It’s as if they want to be found out and punished.
Since narcissists "mistake" kindness for weakness, the only language they seem to understand is violence and aggression. If you made a narcissist do a double-take of any sort, you've gotten to them. If you’ve seen them stumble for a moment and a look of apprehension in their eyes when you just cut them down, oh, they will usually be through with you.
Of course, they will run away, and try to act "normal" again later, if they do a minor, non-serious hoover—but they know they cannot cross you again. This is why they will often just run and hide and sometimes pop back up sheepishly, but they won't ever come back into your life to re-romance you.
They know you're too keen on who they are. And they cannot ever recreate that whole scenario since you know their routine.
The really stupid ones could try a decade later if they’re really out of supply, but not always for romance. I heard a story once about a woman who said her ex-narcissist was in jail and came back after ten years asking her for money.
I also had a “friend” who I think it ASPD who asked me for money after they were in jail. This was years after I had seen this person, and we really weren’t friends, I was just being used for convenience. And I knew, so I really just stopped talking to them.
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If it’s your first rodeo - oh, man, I shudder for those who have endured multiple narcissist partners - you’ll be quite surprised that someone who treated you like something she’d scrape off the bottom of her shoe with a stick will later get back in touch. It is astonishing.
Seeing that letter stopped time for a moment. I couldn’t situate what my senses were telling me within the reality I knew. Mine is a covert narcissist, and a grotesque coward, but the chance to tweak me once again (stimulus, response: “Hah - I can still hurt someone”) overcame her craven, abject emotional timidity.
They are never done with you. You remain a trophy on their mantle: “We had drama - I mattered to him, so I existed,” she tells herself. When she tries to get in touch, she’s polishing that trophy, and perhaps looking to get her name engraved with an updated year on the plaque.
It never ends. Do not be flattered by it: you never mattered to them. You’re a known supply, and they could run short at any time. Any contact from them is at best an insult.
You should be prepared for that text out of the blue, a letter with sickeningly familiar handwriting, or a phone call with that voice on the other end, for the rest of your life.
Delete the text without reading. Open the envelope at one end without removing the letter, shake it to see if there’s any cash, then toss it. If there’s a call, be polite, remote and superficially friendly (think: retail counter worker, but don’t go overboard).
Be boring: mention no success or anything you’ve done that you’re proud of - the goal is to not be worth her while. The word “No” without further elaboration is acceptable.
Do not attempt to lash out or score points - they’re looking for drama. If questioned as to why you’re saying No, ignore or give muddled, incomprehensibly roundabout answers.
Their attempt to reconnect may never come - count yourself lucky - but you will never be sure as long as they’re still alive.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/How-to-know-when-a-narcissist-is-completely-done-with-you-forever
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What is something that repels narcissists?
When they feel they are losing control. Their ability to control others stems from their behavior being so abnormal that others aren't equipped to understand it solely through empathy and intuition. However, over time, their victim will start to catch on, maybe not fully, but enough to realize they're dealing with a lunatic.
Worse, the victim might read a description of a narcissistic pervert or "Malignant Narcissistic" personality disorder and make the connection. At that point, things can start to go wrong, especially if it's their main victim.
A secondary victim can be easily discarded, but leaving the main victim is much more complicated. They will launch multiple strategies to find another victim and reinforce their control. They will also try to do as much harm as possible to their victim in their rage.
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Being seen as 'boring' by them as in offering neither agreement or disagreement to statements they make. Basically 'grey rock' method.
Not seeking their attention or responding 'properly' when they seek your attention. An unacceptable response (ignoring) their 'silent treatments' or an unwillingness to 'participate' when they need or want your attention or something from you.
Not having or not 'showing' that you have anything to offer them that will be of benefit to them. Not having anything they can benefit from deems you 'useless'. Having, but not 'showing' for them or 'sharing' with them makes you 'useless' or 'too selfish'. Hard to believe that a narcissist is repelled by other people's 'selfishness'.
Not being afraid to 'publicly' call them out on a lie, manipulation, devaluation, smearing, intimidation, threat, or reality altering 'show'.
Simply refusing to play their games by their rules. They are repelled by people who 'frustrate' them.
A narcissist will not be repelled by someone doing these things ONE TIME thinking 'that'll be the end of that'. They are repelled by a person who does these things consistently, but ONLY to them.
They are often repelled by people who seem to have 'figured them out', but are 'unaffected' by them.
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Narcissists tend to be repelled by certain behaviors and characteristics in others that challenge their self-image or demand accountability. Here are a few key factors that can repel narcissists:
Assertiveness: People who are confident and assertive can intimidate narcissists, as they often prefer to dominate relationships.
Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining clear personal boundaries can deter narcissists, who typically disregard others’ needs and limits.
Authenticity: Genuine individuals who are comfortable with themselves and do not seek validation from others can be off-putting to narcissists, who thrive on admiration and approval.
Lack of Interest in Flattery: Narcissists seek admiration and compliments. If someone shows disinterest in flattery or does not engage in their need for attention, it can drive them away.
Emotional Stability: Those who are emotionally grounded and do not easily react to manipulation can be difficult for narcissists to control or influence.
Accountability: People who hold narcissists accountable for their actions and do not tolerate excuses or blame-shifting can create discomfort for them.
By embodying these traits, individuals can create a dynamic that is less appealing to narcissists, potentially leading to distance or disengagement from those toxic relationships.
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Telling the truth.
Enforcing boundaries when they try to make you compromise yourself.
For example: If a narc disrespects you by saying negative things about some personal issues you shared with them,don’t give the narc a second chance to do it again.
Confront them with the intent to enforce your boundaries
“I thought I could trust you with the information about (insert subject). You have no business saying those things.You wouldn’t even know what I was dealing with until I told you Don’t disrespect me like that again”
Narc response:
“You misunderstood”
“I was only joking,stop being so sensitive”
“OMG why are you treating me like i’m evil?”
The narc might try a reversal technique:
Crying.
Playing the victim: “People don’t see that I’m just trying to help!”
Try to snuggle up to you to make you forget: “are you still mad at me?”
My advice: Nail The narc. “Get out of my face”
Don’t return calls
Don’t hang out
Ignore them.
Be brutally honest. “I don’t want to speak to you,because you can’t be trusted”
Put the subject in their face,make it unavoidable.
Don’t give them any option to manipulate or disrespect you.
When the narc sees that you will hold them accountable, they will either stop,try to subvert you, or leave you alone,because you’re not an easy target.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-something-that-repels-narcissists
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How does a healthy person move forward after narcissistic abuse?
Listen up! This isn’t going to be a puff piece filled with soft, comforting little lies. Your life has been turned upside down by some toxic narcissist, and you’re here looking for answers, right? Well, buckle up. It’s time to step into the ring and fight for your own damn life.
First and foremost, you need to understand something crucial. You survived. You're a lion who was thrown into the gladiator pit, and guess what? You're in one piece, which is more than your tormentor can say about themselves.
They’re still trapped in their delusional world where everyone else is just a prop. So take a moment right now and recognize your own strength. Digest it, own it, and let it light that fire within you.
Alright, let’s talk about moving forward. It's war strategy time. You’re going to follow a simple but hardcore game plan. This is not for the faint of heart. Ready?
1. **CUT ALL CONTACT:**
I don’t care if they’re texting you, stalking you on social media, or sending you flowers. It’s done. Block them, ghost them, disappear like Houdini on a bad day. If you don't, you're feeding the beast that tried to break you.
2. **RECLAIM YOUR LIFE:**
They didn’t just poison your past; they tried to poison your future. So, recalibrate and reclaim. Get back to the things you love. Start new hobbies. Meet new, REAL people who respect you. Reinvent yourself if you have to. It’s your life, and you’re in charge now.
3. **BUILD THE WALLS HIGH:**
Emotional Fort Knox, people! You’ve got to build your inner defenses so strong that no narcissist can ever breach them again. This is about self-respect, self-love, and self-worth. Know your value and safeguard it fiercely.
4. **GET FIT MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY:**
You’re not a victim; you’re a warrior. Train like one. Hit the gym or use slay fitness on Slaylebrity VIP social network, eat clean, and strengthen your mind. Read books that toughen you up, listen to empowering podcasts, and hang around people who lift you higher. Narcissists prey on the weak. Make sure that’s never you again.
5. **SEEK OUT LEGENDS:**
Greatness attracts greatness. Find mentors and role models who embody strength, wisdom, and confidence. Absorb their knowledge, emulate their success, and become part of a circle that pushes you to excel.
6. **KNOW YOUR WORTH:**
Engrain it so deeply within you that doubting yourself isn't even an option. When you walk, walk tall. When you speak, speak with conviction. When you love, love yourself first.
7. **NEVER SETTLE:**
Tell yourself right now that you’re done settling for anything less than excellence. This applies to relationships, career, and personal goals. Mediocrity is for those who are content to be mediocre. You’re going somewhere - make sure it’s somewhere great.
Look, life’s going to throw punches. Sometimes they land hard. But you’re not here to lie down and take it. You’re here to rise, fight, and conquer. You don’t get through narcissistic abuse by licking your wounds. You get through it by roaring back at life with the strength and ferocity you never knew you had.
This isn't just about surviving; it's about thriving. You’re going to look back at this and realize it was the catalyst that launched you into a life so phenomenal it will make that narcissist sick with envy.
So get up. The world awaits the unstoppable force you’re about to become.
Stay hard, stay relentless, and never, EVER back down.
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I would highly recommend counseling with what I'm about to disclose.
Doing this alone is extremely difficult and you will need a lot of support.
If you have been abused by this population for decades I would recommend a psychologist as most counselors will not be able to understand what you have gone through.
If you are reading this then you most likely have suppressed your wants and needs in order to please a narcissist or psychopath.
And you have been stuck in surviving that experience for quite some time.
When you come out of these relationships many people don't even know who they are or what they need.
When they start to figure out what they want and need and move forward trying to get that need met many of us freeze because our body feels it's in danger.
When you were constantly walking on eggshells and everything was about their needs everything was okay (for a couple of minutes).
The moment you started to talk about your needs wants and desires that is when the Narcissist would devalue you, abuse you and even sometimes threaten your life.
So, coming out these relationships when you start to move towards something that makes you feel good and is a need you have had for years puts your body into fight or flight mode.
Because you have had years of conditioning that if you ever got your needs met you would be attacked by the disordered person.
So, getting your needs met for you feels completely unsafe, bad, wrong, shameful and threatening.
So, how can you feel safe again? How can you unprogram these imbedded survival mode imprints?
Many of us sabotage perfectly good people because we feel threatened by getting our needs met.
You need to get up the courage to face this head on.
Little steps forward are going to hurt, they are going to be painful.
But in order to get your needs met one foot forward and sometimes a few steps back are going to happen.
The biggest thing to realize is that this may be a big reason why you never want to be in a relationship again.
Because you feel threatened...
If you have lived around narcissistic abuse you can get to the other side..it's going to take some time though.
One step at a time.
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Acceptance.
I can't tell you if you will eventually get over your abusive experience with a narcissist, but in my opinion and in my case, I'm pretty sure I will never fully “get over” mine.
Instead of pushing and forcing myself to get over it, I am learning about and practicing acceptance:
Accept the fact that you'll probably never get closure.
Accept the fact that you are no different to anyone else who came before or after you. You'll likely find there are other people who share very similar stories to what you've experienced.
Accept the fact that you weren't “special” enough to change them (as empaths, we sometimes feel like we can be the ones to heal or to charge someone for the better. In this case know that that is simply not possible. As loving and as strong as empaths are, we cannot re-wire another being’s mind or experiences). Don't feel like you've failed.
Accept your feelings - the good, the bad, and the ugly. This one is really important. We are taught that some feelings are bad, that to hate someone else is sinful, and that such feelings are not allowed to be felt and should be pushed aside. (That is about as helpful as knowing you're really gay but pushing aside your entire identity by marrying a straight person to please society.) Don't do that.
Feel your hurt, allow yourself to mourn and grieve. Remember that this is no ordinary break up, this is the death of your old self; your ideals; your innocence; the idea of your “soulmate”.
Allow yourself to feel anger and rage. After my discard, the rage that filled my entire body and every thought frightened me. I didn't know I was capable of feeling that angry. I'd sit up in bed grinding my teeth, riddled with insomnia and visualise vandalising my ex’s house and causing him harm.
It's totally fine to feel that anger because you have every right to feel angry. You've been betrayed and abused. Visualise it, write it down, cry, scream break something if you must (just leave your ex out of it).
Feelings will interrupt your life at the best of times and the most random moments (anything can trigger them). Learn to not feel inconvenienced by such feelings. Let them become you, really feel them, experience them for all they are. Then, like a wave washing through you, let them go.
Accept the fact that as strong as you may be, this is very possibly stronger than you and that you probably need external help in the form of therapy. There is no shame in seeking professional help.
In fact, if you love yourself, you should feel obligated to do so. You will probably find through therapy that you will come to learn a hell of a lot more about yourself than your initial anticipated outcomes.
Accept the fact that what you thought was love was actually infatuation, on both sides. Sure, maybe you were able to show them pure love at times, but we know how addictive a relationship with an NPD individual can be. If anything, we can compare it to a drug addiction.
Accept the fact that they are not some monster who willingly and consciously hunted you and “did this” to you: these people are sick, they are stuck in a glitch, a movie of finding the person (and people) who they believe will fulfill their lives for it to become the ideal they cling to. In a way they are the result of the people that were simply too sensitive to be in this world. They're completely lost in an endless loop.
Accept responsibility. You also made huge mistakes. By not enforcing your boundaries, by not trusting your gut, by letting it carry on for as long as it did… Deception will always feel horrible, but self-deception feels even worse.
Accept the fact that your family or friends can't really be “there” for you. As much as they want to, they simply won't be able to relate to or to understand what it is you've gone through (unless they also have experienced narcissistic abuse).
Accept that much time is needed, to understand and to practice acceptance, there are simply no shortcuts.
Accept that you cannot change what's happened. The past is stuck in the past. What you can change is the way you will let it affect you in the present and future.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-healthy-person-move-forward-after-narcissistic-abuse
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Is anyone good enough for a narcissist?
No one. Every relationship is a bitter disappointment to these evil people because their expectations are totally unrealistic.
They always expect the other person to be perfect, and by association to make them perfect. When this doesn't happen, they feel bitterly double-crossed, let down and lied to.
This is the script most narcissists play out in every relationship they are in their entire life.
In all relationships, the other person is expected to live for the narcissist. They are expected to do everything for the relationship and the narcissist while the narcissist does nothing, gives nothing, appreciates nothing.
You all are expected to be perfect at all times, to read the narcissist's mind and anticipate whatever needs the narcissist may have… and you should never have needs, wants, feelings or anything of your own and don’t ever make a mistake.
You are expected to carry all of the narcissist's emotional baggage, to be their punching bag, to sit on the shelf waiting to be played with like a baby doll and to never stop giving perfect, unconditional love.
You are not allowed to be angry, tired, stressed, hurt, sick or human in any way. If someone cannot do all of these things and many more, the narcissist cannot be happy.
However it’s time for you to stop trying for this person... and refuse to disappoint yourself any more. Remember, tolerance of abuse and abusers is not a virtue. A person with a miserable soul can never stand a person with a happy spirit. Let it go !
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No living, breathing, walking being is good enough for a narcissist.
The only one good enough for a narcissist, is the one that lives in the narcissist’s imagination — the imaginary person which they have projected as being the perfect match to their needs, and which no living person could ever live up to.
Part of the narcissist's grandiose view of self means they feel vastly superior to others, and anything less than perfection is falling drastically short of what they deserve. As we all know, perfection does not exist, although narcissists always feel they deserve better, anything less than perfection is not enough.
So what does the narcissist want?
The narcissist wants someone who can consistently make them feel grand, special, on the highest pedestal, they want someone who will make them buzz, feeling on top of the world.
Worship them, simply for existing.
Accept they are the best and greatest, reminding them of this every day.
They want every aspect of their endemic grandiosity to be massaged ongoingly, by the perfect person.
Boredom? Insecurity? More boredom?
Come on my perfect mate, I can't have that!
You're job is to rid me of these feelings. You gotta protect me from my own feelings and thoughts. Protect me from myself. Because I certainly can't!
I only want to feel great, grand… and it's your job to see to it that I do.
What? What do you mean you can't protect me from myself?
Well, I sure in Hell can't, that's what I need you for.
Guess you're not the perfect one either.
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It’s not a question of people being “good enough” for a narcissist. There will be many people a narcissist will know who will be “good enough” to be in their circle. The question is more about how long the relationship will last before the other person tires of being controlled, shamed and emotionally manipulated.
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Yes as long as you take all their verbal, mental, psychological, emotional and physical abuses. Then if they discard you, wait for their hoover and then accept them back in your life. If he kills you or break your bones due to violence, just prepare a will that says, I forgive you and still love you. Then wait for him in the after life and follow my same advice. You will be good enough for him even in the after life.
https://www.quora.com/Is-anyone-good-enough-for-a-narcissist
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Will a narcissist ever be happy with someone?
In the beginning of a relationship, yes, they are as happy as a child with a new toy. Most people believe that's an act, but it's not. They truly are strongly and intensely infatuated at their new romantic object, to the point where they will put that person on a high pedestal, hence the idealisation phase and the love bombing.
Now, whilst almost everyone tend to idealise and love bomb their new romantic partner, due to their lack of object constancy and magical thinking, narcissists idealisation is insanely irrational and illogical.
They'll regard their new romantic object as perfect and flawless being who can't do or say anything wrong. They'll take the newly acquired romantic object's words as the words of god and mirror their behaviour to the dot and parade them proudly to the world like a trophy.
Consequently, with such level of adulation, comes unrealistically high expectations. Once their hormones settle down and they are over the infatuation stage, they realise that their romantic object is just a mere mortal who's flawed and imperfect like everyone else.
Again, due to their lack of object constancy, their perception regarding the no longer new romantic object will switch from completely white to completely black. From the high pedestal down to the gutter, that marks the devaluation stage.
Will a narcissist ever be happy with someone? Yes, intensely and blissfully happy in the beginning of the relationship, but not for long.
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Nope. Because, at their core they hate themselves (the true self). Their superiority complex is attached to their fake self, the ‘ego’. Their true self has an inferiority complex. And, because they are enable to love their authentic self, they are unable to love anyone else either.
Hence, they do everything within their power to make others hate themselves too. Avoid them at all costs. You are worth so much more than anything they could offer.
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No.
Narcissists own all that they can see, they are entitled to all they become aware of. So, as your personal boundaries shrink, and you give and give, and give some more, the narcissist doesn't become grateful.
He can't appreciate it. You're merely giving him what's his. If you've given too much, and it hurts you to give just one more thing, he feels insulted. He may feel outraged that you feel hurt. You're hurting him by feeling hurt.
So once you've given a narcissist all that you've got, you'd better act like you like it. And if you are wounded or lacking because you gave too much, now he feels disgusted by your weakness.
It's not his fault, it's your fault. To his cruel unappreciating eye, you're weak, disgusting and probably foolish. You have nothing to offer. You're not tricking him. He knows what you're after.
Certainly boundaries also cover emotions. Most people believe others have a right to their emotions to some degree. Not narcissists. Narcissists are unique in that they specifically require others to submit their mental space to the narcissist.
They require you submit your perspective to them, and see everything the way they do. So, they need you to keep moving that boundary. You need to agree with him that your crying out in pain was a heinous violation against his dignity. That you were greedy and wrong and acted against his good nature.
You see, he also owns your good traits. Did you think you could keep that from him? He became aware of your mind space and its now his also. He's been giving and giving, sacrificing his boundaries in the hopes of making you happy.
You're greedily trying to trick him into giving one more thing, you want to take his feeling of being a good person and he's not going to let you have it.
Do you see why you cannot make a narcissist happy? You're not having a relationship with the narcissist. He's having a relationship with himself. As he becomes aware of you, he displaces you.
Anything that doesn't feel good, is rejected from his person and that becomes you. A narcissist doesn't really have any space in his life for other people. He only has space for garbage cans, and the garbage always must be emptied when it gets too full.
So the question is, can you remain fresh and sweet and useful as a garbage disposal for a narcissist or will he have to dump you out?
A narcissist will use whatever you give him, or whatever he takes, to feel happy with himself. (He doesn't have space for YOU, he only has space for how you make him feel about himself. )
He= he/she/they etc.
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No.
They cannot.
They are only about self preservation.
You are just a tool and object to relieve their impulses.
And after they relieve their impulses they're happy for about 30 seconds to 2 minutes tops.
And then it goes back to the same kind of behavior.
There's nothing that can be done.
The only thing that can be done is you leaving.
I've dealt with this population for over a half century and there's not a single one that has ever wanted to change.
They cannot love themselves as it's not possible because they cannot connect emotionally with their true selves.
What you see and have fallen in love with is a facade, a fake, a phony.
https://www.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-ever-be-happy-with-someone
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How do narcissists get away with lying?
They don’t. Your question is proof that you’re aware. They just wear us down with the pointlessness of the argument and we finally give up and just don’t give a f*ck about them anymore.
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Because they have absolute confidence and conviction behind their lies.
They defend their lies with every once of energy and NEVER WAVER
They also know that if they keep repeating the lie their gaslighting will stick with people for good and implant itself in their conscious..
This convinces most everyone.
This is why their smear campaigns work so well.
This is how narcissist husband's, wives, family members, politicians, religious cults and bosses persuade billions of people of their lies.
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They do it covertly, they are nice to everyone one the street and torture their victims behind closed doors. If the victim complains no one believes that that nice people pleaser could behave that way.
The narcissist probably already poisoned the well and told everyone they are the victim and the real victim is crazy anyway. They gaslight people and get them to doubt things they saw with their own eyes. They deny, deny, deny then deny some more and shift blame. They spend their whole life fooling people, practice makes perfect.
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Narcissists are very practiced in the art of lying. Their whole facade is a lie so it is part of the package.
Unless you are given a reason not to believe what they say you take them at their word. Their explanations may make sense at first. In time you start noticing discrepancies with what they tell you. You don’t really want fo believe you are being lied to or manipulated.
This is especially true when you are romantically attached and they are doing everything in their power to make you feel so loved and special. When you question them you can be criticized making you feel paranoid or insecure. Pretty clever really to blame you and deflect the lie.
You end up second guessing your reaction knowing it irritates them when you call them out. So it continues until you get wise and they find someone who hasn’t figured their game out yet.
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Because they don't care about you or anyone else other than themself.
The see others as objects or extensions of themselves the narcissist can use for their benefit. Even if it is massively disproportionate to the harm it would cause you. A moment of admiration is far more important to them than a lifetime of suffering for one of their victims.
Consider this, con artists will make massive donations to charity while financially destroying their victims. They simply don't care, they are celebrated and loved for a short period of time. Your only value is what the narcissist can get from you; validation, money, stature, access to more supply. A lie is a tool for them to get what they want.
They are master manipulators, learned at an early age how to lie and how it benefits them. Being at the receiving end of this behaviour results in cognitive dissonance. Their victims go into a state of continued acceptance because they can no longer mentally handle the mind “expletive “ that they are experiencing. It is especially difficult for individuals who tend to be honest and are highly empathetic.
I learned a long time ago that the best thing you can do is stop trying to figure them out. It takes up too much real estate in your head. Get away from these people and collect evidence to support your claims when they've realized that they've lost their supply and they try to ruin you.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-get-away-with-lying
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Do narcissists ever care?
Yes, there’s one thing that narcissists really care about, something they can’t live without. It’s the most important thing to them, and it even makes them happy. That thing is control. Narcissists need control, and they can’t live without it.
So, what is control?
Control is when someone has power over what people do or what happens. Narcissists want this power over people and events around them. Even though they don’t actually care about others, they still need people to have control over. Without control, narcissists feel weak and unimportant.
They believe they deserve control because they think they’re better than everyone else. For them, control shows their superiority. Narcissists feel like they can only succeed in life by controlling others. It's all about winning for them, so they don’t just want control, they need it.
Without control, narcissists feel lost, like they don’t belong. To keep that control, they lie and manipulate people. They create a fake version of themselves to trick others. If they can control what you know and think about them, you’ll trust them and rely on them.
This is what covert narcissists want, they crave your trust, but they need to control how you see them and what you know about them. The more they learn about you, the more power they think they have over you.
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No, not unless it involved them 100 pct. my ex would ask me the same thing three or four times. I finally told him maybe if you saved your old texts from me you would know. If I talked about me or problems I was having he would say get out of your feelings. He never cared. Why? Because it wasn’t anything he cared about.
https://thetoxicnarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-care-7
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How do you show a narcissist you don't care?
1. Don't ask how they're doing or what they've been up to.
To avoid getting drawn into their world, don't ask questions about their life. The more attention you give them, the more they'll demand. Only ask how they're doing if it's absolutely necessary, like in a work situation or emergency. If you see them in person, just say hello and move on without asking about their life.
2. Don't agree with everything they say.
Narcissists love when people agree with them, but it's important to stay calm and not agree with everything, even if you actually do. If they say something untrue, you can calmly say it's not true, but avoid arguing. They crave validation, so if they think everyone agrees with them, they'll keep seeking it. Disagree politely without getting into a fight. If they ask for your opinion, you can say, "I'm not sure," or "That's not what I would have done." This frustrates them because it shows you don't fully agree.
3. Don't compliment them.
Narcissists thrive on attention and praise. They'll brag about themselves, but don't give them compliments. If they don't get admiration from others, they'll try to boost themselves up. Complimenting them only feeds their behavior. If they ask why you're not saying anything nice, you can say, "I don't really like giving compliments."
4. Don't respond right away when they say something hurtful.
When they say something mean, don't reply immediately. Wait a bit so they get bored of waiting for your reaction and move on to someone else. If they push too hard, you can calmly say how their words hurt you, but do it in a neutral tone without showing emotion.
5. Don't take responsibility for their actions or words.
Narcissists like to make others feel responsible for their behavior so they don't have to own up to it. Don't fall for this. If they try to blame you, you can simply say, "I didn't do anything." They often play the victim even when they're the ones being hurtful. Show them you don't care about their behavior by refusing to engage.
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By not caring, and instead “greyrock"ing.
They CANT STAND IT!! ITS THE BEST.
Just go totally monotone and give them NO TYPE OF EMOTIONAL REACTION AT ALL. Works wonders.
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By blocking them and going no contact. Move on. Walk away. See ya later, bye. Nothing shows them more than those actions. Especially if you’ve been a long term supply for them. Show them that you can do better without them.
Because they’ll never do better without you. They are stagnant people who just transfer issues from one relationship to the next. The story always ends the same for them. But it doesn’t have to for you.
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Depends on what your intention is. If you are interested in continuing the contact with all manipulative tactics for control, then you use a method called Grey Rock. This means you show no emotions to the Narcissist when he lies to you, criticizes, gives you words of praise and the ultimate silent treatment to punish you for not reacting.
For no reaction is like cutting off a limb. They need a reaction for fuel to keep their marginal existence and maintain their life line. So, with that said, if you are not willing to endure this game of checkers, and you believe you deserve better due to the kind and empathic person you are, and want to end this and your own denial of true feelings, then you go No Contact.
That means you block all lines of communication. If the Narcissist cannot contact you he cannot obtain the fuel needed for survival, and he will need to find a new target of fresh supply. This is at very difficult thing to do if you have become trauma bonded. You will actually experience withdrawal sensations because you are without your drug. Get a lot of support should you decide to go no contact and work a recovery program.
I wish you the best, as I was married to a Narcissist for twenty seven years, and then dated one for a year. Different person, same behaviors. As empaths we need to do our inner work, heal our abandonment wounds, get on a program of self care to give back to self what the Narcissist used, abused and sucked out of us!
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You say goodbye then block their number, their email, their social media and delete all their photos, texts, dms and any other correspondence with them. If they gave you any gifts send them back.
Tell any potential flying monkeys not to ever mention the narcissists name to you again. If they do, block them too.
Cut ties with their family members and the friends they knew before you. If anyone asks how you are doing without them say your life is so much better now.
All of this will get back to the narcissist who will feel slighted and they'll probably have a narcissistic collapse.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-show-a-narcissist-you-dont-care
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In general, do narcissists do well in life?
No, they usually can’t handle life well, either in personal or professional situations. They act like emotional toddlers and can't stand being hurt, even if it’s imagined.
When they feel slighted, they either explode in anger or quietly seek revenge. At first, no one believes the victim because the narcissist seems so charming. But after mistreating many people, others start to notice. Co-workers might either get revenge or complain, leading to the narcissist getting fired.
After being fired from too many jobs, with only bad references, they become unemployable. If they own a business, they mistreat their employees and betray partners, so eventually, the business fails when good workers leave.
They can’t plan for the future because their lives are stuck in past trauma. This often leads to irresponsibility with money, not saving for retirement, and eventually living in poverty.
By middle age, their children leave them. The scapegoated child either wants nothing to do with them or is too damaged by the abuse to help. The golden child, raised to be selfish, also won’t help. People who know about the abuse won’t step in, either. As they get older and lose their charm, they struggle to find new sources of admiration.
What’s left is the real, unpleasant person they are, without their charming mask. They may end up in a low-quality care home, where even the staff ignores their attempts to manipulate, leaving them alone and upset.
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If appearing to do well is doing well- then, yes! With Narcissists, nothing is as it appears. You only see what they want you to see. It is like a TV drama. A star, (no co-star) a cast of characters, (chosen by the star to make them shine), a setting (usually pretentious), props, make-up and wardrobe, scripted, directed, and rehearsed, for express viewing by an enamored audience.
The Narcissist anticipates rave reviews. If the reviews are less than stellar, if the applause isn’t loud enough, or if there are no standing ovations, the star will find a new audience that knows enough to clap loud and often! When the episode has been viewed, the star goes back to conjure up another script, directed by them and rehearsed with their cast of characters.
They will troll for an opportunity to put themselves on stage again as soon as possible and wait for the accolades they are certain they deserve. Such is the life of the narcissist!
When we watch a TV drama, we are entertained but we do not think for one minute that the characters are as brilliant, talented, beautiful, handsome, invincible etc. as portrayed. No matter how the lovers fawn over each other and avow their love and commitment, we know that they do not actually love each other.
We know that the house they live in is not where they actually reside. We know that the problems they face are not as easily and as quickly resolved in real life. The ‘loyal friends’ are probably rivals and adversaries off screen! No matter how ‘well’ the Narcissist appears to be doing, it is nothing more than a show!
Narcissists are their own worst enemies, creating misery for those around them, (especially their nearest and dearest), thereby generating hate and resentment in others, who then become their enemies. They makes asses out of themselves everyday. They worry about their image and fear exposure.
They expend much energy trying to maintain that impressive image, and they have to remember all the lies they have told and to whom. They compete with everyone and are the most jealous, vindictive people.
In the end, old age catches up with them. They have burned bridges and are pretty much alone. They are no longer impressive at any level because, after all, an old ‘anything’ is just an old, outdated, obsolete, primitive, worn out, slow, inconvenient, archaic curiosity!
They have not invested in anything real, never cultivated heartfelt relationships, never lifted anyone else except for their own benefit, never contributed meaningfully to society, and they have no legacy. So, No they don’t do well in life- actually they do pretty bad!
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I would say both yes and no.
A narcissist, more than almost anyone else on this planet, is reliant on external validation for who and what they are. So if you have a narcissist that starts succeeding in business and being fluffed as genius & successful for example, they could very well start snowballing into astronomical success.
On the flip side, if you have a narcissist who has repeated failure in relationships, each one chipping away slowly at the narcissist’s grandiose thinking, then a narcissist could start snowballing in the opposite direction. You could also have narcissists that “play it safe”, because they are terrified of either direction.
The type of narcissist that ends up unhappily married, no real hobbies, with little real friends and in middle management till the day they die. Even in my own life, I have seen all three of these scenarios take shape. So really I think in a general sense, it depends. But I will say the success is always reliant on external validation & supply.
I'd say a generally safe statement would be that a narcissist is tied very closely to:
a) the amount of supply they are able to obtain, and in turn the sense of self-worth & justification of their self-identity they are able to generate
b) the amount of narcissistic injury they endure in the form of abandonment, rejection, criticism, failure, etc.
If I were to look at aspects of life a narcissist might generally do better in than the average person, it would likely be in their career. A narcissist has a few major advantages in this regard.
For one, they have a lack of emotional empathy. Using people, backstabbing, manipulating for personal gain, stepping on others to pass them. If it comes down to it, a narcissist will put themselves first. Always. There is a power in that. Also, due to things like entitlement & grandiose thinking, a narcissist could think they were worthy of all the success in the world.
That is largely a glass fortress that can be shattered with even one strong negative comment, but as stated above, if lots of things support their view, they can reach astronomical success, wealth and power. Narcissists and highly narcissistic people are all over Hollywood, politics and business.
In terms of both their relationship with themself and relationship with others, a narcissist definitely doesn’t do well. Unless they are being flooded with supply, a narcissist will always be at constant war with themself. The false self, that's wonderful and their real person they internally feel is worthless, at a constant tug of war. Empty, jealous, slighted, fearful are just a handful of the many constant feelings.
And as for relationships, they will subconsciously be living out the same cycle over and over again, with each passing relationship giving them more evidence to internally believe they are very flawed. And if they happen to stay in relationships, the buildup of narcissistic injury and abuse will rear its ugly head. NPD, without some type of intervention or therapy, is unfortunately a death sentence in these two regards.
https://www.quora.com/In-general-do-narcissists-do-well-in-life
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Every accusation is a confession.
The Accusing Nature of Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgQ5lzu9HS8
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Page 31
How does a narcissist react to confrontation?
Narcissists are big bullies but also big cowards. (Ask me how I know) It’s been my experience with the two in our immediate family that they do their worst behind the scenes but when you find out and confront them, they are not so brave. Of course, a confrontation intensifies their smear campaigns.
At least now they have something to smear you with. Just a note of caution, they NEVER tell what they have done to you or said about you with no cause, other than jealousy or envy. They are the whiniest victims you’ve ever seen!
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Co-narcs hate confrontation. They hate it because it calls them to the carpet to take responsibility for their actions. They don’t want to be responsible for their deplorable behavior or the way they treat you and others. They despise accountability because accountability forces them to take a look inwardly instead of outwardly, which is where they are always looking.
They may shift the blame back to you by suddenly changing the focus of the conversation from their behavior to something you did instead. They may simply fume and walk away and then not speak to you for days, ignoring any effort to discuss what happened - stonewalling.
They may suddenly rage and spew all kinds of verbal machine gun style threats and abusive comments your way. Some even become physically violent if they feel they are losing control of you or the situation.
Each covert narcissist is a little different in their approach and they usually will tailor it to your perceived or actual vulnerabilities.
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They rage when they get called out. They immediately try to turn it around on you and start listing your negative traits. It’s always someone or something else’s fault why narcs behave the way they do. They don’t accept responsibility for their actions and accountability is nonexistent with them. If you feel you need to confront a narc, be sure you have your exit plan mapped out because it’s gonna be scorched earth.
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Very very simply put? They will turn it back on you and make you feel like you’re the crazy one. They’ll deflect and divert and make it all about you until you have no leg to stand on. Totally not worth it. The ONLY thing that I ever said to my ex narcissist that rattled him was I SEE YOU,...
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Lies, always lies and a Toss salad of lies, Blaming you & others, excuses, non answers, re-direct, silent treatment and if your lucky a Hydrogen bomb gaslight. Remember you're in just one of many bugs in the “Spider’s web”.
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They lie, they leave the room. They will do anything to not have the conversation and to not acknowledge a problem. Even if you had them on surveillance cameras, heard and saw everything they did, somehow the camera is wrong. Everything they do is Right. Everything you do is wrong. And the world revolves around them.
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Covert narcissists don't like confrontation as they prefer to be the man behind the screen, the sorceress who makes others move just by willing it. Confronting them with accusations makes them combatitive.
Best to stay off the radar.
If you have any ability in acting at all, you can easily construct a character who the narcissist feels superior too, and then you can safely influence them from there, directing their endless aggression elsewhere.
Do you really want to win, or do you just want to look like you're winning?
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-react-to-confrontation?no_redirect=1
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Why are narcissists never happy? Are they in capable of being happy?
Narcissists are never going to be happy because of their unrealistic expectations and parasitic, jealous, envious, and selfish nature. Whatever they get makes them happy for a little while, then they crave more.
Narcissists want more. Narcissists are never satisfied with the things they have because they keep comparing themselves to others. Narcissists compete with everyone for more attention, admiration, and validation. Narcissists live their lives in jealousy and enviousy.
Narcissists have unrealistic expectations from people around them; they want unlimited narcissistic supply from people without being questioned or putting in effort, which is not going to happen. Narcissists always have high expectations; if they are not fulfilled, they keep anger and grudges.
Give narcissists everything they want, and still they aren't going to be satisfied. An unsatisfied person is going to always be unhappy.
Dealing with shame and what people think about them is one of the reasons narcissists just can't live happily.
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In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson,
“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well”.
Happiness is NOT a goal. Happiness cannot be bought. You can’t find happiness by chasing after it. Neither is happiness a ‘final’ destination.
That’s the problem with NPD’s. They’re totally incapable of creating their own happiness because they believe someone MUST create it for them.
No wonder ALL NPD relationships falter and fail as the NPD is going about ‘finding’ happiness totally wrong.
Show true, real love and care. Show compassion, show patience, gentleness and kindness to people around you and instantly, happiness sits on your shoulder, meets you at the door. Happiness envelopes you and follows you where ever you go.
Manipulate, triangulate, abuse, lie, cheat, deceive, rage, gaslight - and you expect to find happiness? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Let’s modify the question: (there’s a double negative)
Why can’t narcissists be happy? They are doing and trying everything to feel happy but they are not, they are always miserable.
Why is that?
Step inside the shoes of those closest to the NPD and live as them for a month, a week, a day, an hour.
No. NPD’s are NOT trying everything to feel happy. On the contrary, what NPD’s do to those closest to them is the antithesis of happiness.
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Unfortunately, they will never feel happy and they are not happy that you’re happy. That’s the reason you hear most people say to get revenge on the narcissist, live your life and be happy.
They are forever children trapped in adult bodies and don’t know how to be happy. They get off on causing harm and unhappiness to others because they can’t be happy. They are tormented every day they are alive and will hate you if you tell them you love them.
Somewhere along their life when they were a child, they were abused somehow and some way. To cover this abuse, they developed all these ways (masks) to protect themselves because there were not protected. They learned to be mean, they learned to be hard, they learned to hate themselves thus learning how to exact this pain on others.
There intent in life is to wreak their evilness on others to hopefully get them to feel like them, empty. So they cannot be happy because they do not know happiness. Stay away from them so that your happiness will not be snatched away.
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True happiness is a state of mind that’s based on a foundation of self-validation and security. When someone feels safe, secure, and loved, their mind is primed for happiness.
Narcissists lack this foundation. They don’t have any self-validation to rely on. Instead of feeling secure, loved, and confident, they feel insecure, unworthy, and inadequate. In this condition, true happiness is out of their reach.
But narcissists can still feel happy at times. Whenever someone says or does anything that makes the narcissist feel special or important, it suppresses the narcissist’s internal feelings of unworthiness and inferiority, resulting in the narcissist feeling relief/happiness.
This external validation is the only thing that gives a narcissist any sense of happiness, but unlike internal validation, external validation is not a permanent, reliable power source. It comes and goes. Still, narcissists are so dependent on external validation that they spend their entire lives trying to keep sources of it in constant supply.
External validation makes the narcissist feel better for a short time, but it does not change how the narcissist truly feels about themselves. It doesn’t give them self-esteem. It doesn’t morph into self-validation. All it does is put a temporary bandage over their deeply-rooted feelings of unworthiness and inadequacy.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Why-are-narcissists-never-happy-Are-they-in-capable-of-being-happy
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"You don't have to ask a narcissist one question about their childhood; they'll put you through it".
What You Don’t Know: Narcissists are Actually Victims of This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eziBH59j2q0
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Being an empath is a true gift. We are taken down for a time but resiliency is a healing balm that will come and recharge us.
WHEN THE EMPATH STRIKES BACK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qB-JamEcjg
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3 Cruel Tactics Narcissists Use to End Relationships Without Warning!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwG5eJA1Ias
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Narcissist hates peace.
WHO YOU WERE BEFORE YOU MET THE NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3T7gZJI-PM
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Why did the narcissist target me and ruin my life?
They picked you because they saw something in you they wanted. To win you over, they copied your behavior, values, and how you responded to things. They studied you and tried to reflect a version of you back to you.
This is the basis of trauma bonding. It feels like a deep connection, but it was never real in the first place.
So, to break it down simply and positively: everything you were attracted to in them was actually just you seeing your own qualities in the mirror. You were drawn to the things in them that you value in yourself.
Even though it was fake on their part, what they did was highlight what makes you special—your glow, your talents, and your morals, which lead to real success. These are things they’ll never have or be able to live by.
So while it hurts to realize none of it was real, the truth is, you fell in love with your own strengths. Give yourself the credit you deserve and stop being hard on yourself!
They chose you because they wanted to be like you. But their attention span is like that of a small child, always moving on to the next shiny thing.
So don’t feel too bad when they chose a new target and discarded you, if anything that was a blessing.
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Narcissists target you to fill the emptiness within them.
Whatever value you possess is their aim.
Whatever chinks you have in your personal armour is what they seek to expose.
Whatever doesn't kill you, can make you stronger.
No one deserves to be abused. By anyone. Change is inevitable. Such is life.
A hard knock school, sometimes. Always be learning. Evilness truly does exist.
If you keep being repetitively targeted, time come to change some boundaries.
Stop, pause, self reflect.
Understand your value. Know your foundations. Work out what you need, before your wants.
Burn old bridges.
Build some new ones. Put up a gatehouse.
Establish a solid observation post.
Stop the marauding hordes. There be dragons. Don't get burnt again.
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Because you have something they want.
Because they just Target you to destroy you because they don't like something about you.
Because they want to watch you fall from grace and realize it's because of them.
Because they want to be the reason why you want to end your life (no joke).
Because they want you to make them look good. And then they love it when you start to feel bad, have anxiety, have depression they love it as your body slowly falls apart and away from itself.
Because you have money, a nice car, a nice place to live. They want to take advantage of this situation 100% and steal everything away from you.
Because you're completely high status. They want to bring you down from that status and make you feel horrible.
Because you keep talking to them and give them lots of narcissistic supply by agreeing with everything they say.
Because you're highly empathetic.
Because they want to use you sexually.
It's all about using someone and then discarding them in the trash when they are done with you.
The reason they Hoover is they want to finish the job destroying you.
https://thetoxicnarcissist.quora.com/Why-did-the-narcissist-target-me-and-ruin-my-life
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Do Narcissists have a plot or do they just hurt
people for their own gratification?
Narcissists don’t actually formulate a plot to hurt you.
While there’s an overlap of sadistic behavior and NPD, wanting to inflict pain isn’t part of the DSM criteria for narcissism; rather, the misery narcissists cause to others is more akin to collateral damage.
The crux of the issue is that narcissists DON’T CARE if/when they hurt you, due to their lack of empathy.
Your feelings are meaningless to a narcissist, so your pain is a non-issue to them as a result of their selfishness.
In the beginning, you get them super high and all of their behaviors reflect that, also because of their selfishness.
They simply are not thinking of anything other than how great they feel basking in your reflection: it’s ego supply. And it supports the narcissist’s mask by giving them access to your traits to mirror, as well as feeding their sense of grandiosity.
Narcissists’ constant search for external validation is their main priority, bar none. Everything else just falls to the wayside… including awareness of any consequences of their behavior, to others or even to themselves.
Because NPD is a shame-resistant disorder at baseline, when a narcissist inevitably does end up causing you to suffer as a result of their behavior, they’ll need to protect themselves from any sense of responsibility in it.
In this way, narcissists do enjoy harming you because it’s palliative. It’s like taking an Excederin tablet for a migraine: it’s pain relief.
That pill feels SO good precisely because it takes away the misery.
Lots of things can be the panacea for a pwNPD; this is how projection functions: by applying the narcissist’s own toxic motives to you… in other words, no need to feel bad for you when YOU deserved it anyway!
But devaluation has by far the highest level of potency.
Because of narcissists’ immaturity and low emotional intelligence, they are ridden with jealousy over anything anyone else has that they don’t.
This is why they seem to go from idealizing you to hating you overnight:
the very same qualities that attracted the narcissist to you soon make them envy you.
And envy to a narcissist is experienced as hatred.
Once the narcissist hates you, they can no longer feel gratified or validated by your goodness. The very memory of it all blows away with the wind as if it never happened, due to their lack of object constancy and their poor emotional recall.
Lack of empathy means narcissists can’t attach feelings to memories, and they can’t miss you because they never bonded with you.
Instead they switch you to negative supply status, and there’s no coming back from that (other than fake, mini-love bombs used as manipulation whenever the narcissist still wants to use you).
That’s how the disorder manifests: its purpose is to offload any and all uncomfortable or complex emotions the narcissist is unable to process.
This includes any sense of guilt about harms you’ve suffered as a result of their selfishness.
Their NPD kicks in and causes them to perceive any negative outcome as because of you, so to their mind, you’re only getting what you deserve.
No need to apologize to you for your suffering the natural consequences of your own actions.
Apologizing would mean admitting fault.
And the narcissist must hold fast to their fantasy of greatness, because they are nothing without it.
Narcissists’ grandiose delusion leads them to feel so god-like in power that they believe they have the ability to not only judge you but decide your fate as well.
Narcissism, acted out, is an impulse and not a scheme.
https://www.quora.com/Do-Narcissists-have-a-plot-or-do-they-just-hurt-people-for-their-own-gratification
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Why does a narcissist act like it's nothing when they hurt you?
Narcissists don't care about your feelings, so they don't want to bring up bad things that have happened before. Narcissists want to escape accountability and responsibility for what they have done.
If a narcissist talks about things that have happened from their side, then they have to take their share of blame, which they won't take. Narcissists believe it's not worth their time discussing issues with you.
Narcissists create drama and chaos in relationships to punish you and to get more narcissistic supply, then they will act like nothing happened because they got what they wanted at the cost of your feelings.
This is Narcissist's favorite tactic of gaslighting that there is no problem in the relationship from their side; it's you who needs to put effort into fixing things. Narcissists will make you look like a crazy person in a relationship.
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If you are asking why they pretend nothing happened after they have behaved poorly, they are gaslighting you. This is an insidious form of emotional abuse to make the victim doubt their own memory, reality and sanity, and also to make you be more easily manipulated next time.
Narcissists do not do accountability.
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Narcissist take no accountability of their actions. They are not answerable to anything especially their own destructive actions and abuse. Instead they play the victim and turn the tables on their victims.
They don’t understand the needs of others and absolutely lack empathy hence they can’t comprehend the amount of damage that they do around to their loved ones. They can bring heaven and earth down that’s ok and inconsequential in their mind. But the slightest inconvenience caused to them will set them in to a narcissist rage and they will bring down the roof.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-act-like-its-nothing-when-they-hurt-you
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Why can't people see the positive in a narcissist?
The formula is simple.
We have a person who flies into a rage when you say ‘no’ to them.
But they love to violate your boundaries and push your buttons and can’t stop doing it.
So you either say ‘no’ to their violations and risk them flying into a rage, or you let them violate you to their hearts content. Please choose one.
What’s so positive about that?
Oh, you mean they’re supposed to be sexy, they’re supposed to be highly intelligent, and highly successful?
None of it is what it seems. They are either drunk on unearned glory or drunk on abusing someone, or bored out of their minds and looking for someone to abuse.
What appears to naifs as sexiness, intelligence, success or some other virtue is just them successfully upselling (lies and masks) themselves to naifs. It’s their drunk on glory mode, which consists of lies and masks plus a victim who isn’t yet aware they are a victim because the truth hasn’t come out yet.
And .....
...if you ever get close enough to them to scratch beneath the surface, you will find that they’re not sexy, intelligent, nor anything positive at all. Because you will eventually discover that all they are is abusive. Abuse is their overwhelming quality that dilutes all their other qualities.
Abuse does funny things to us. To borrow a phrase from Rain Martin, "Abuse pollute each treasured memory with the truth. Abuse kills the sexiness, the intelligence, the anything positive".
It is hard to associate abuse with any positive qualities.
Narcissists are reservoirs of stored up abuse waiting to be unleashed on someone.
All their supposed positive qualities are just the bait to lure unsuspecting victims in to abuse. They trick you into engaging with them, and then they degrade you.
The positiveness only stays for as long as the mask stays, for as long as you still don’t perceive them as an abuser.
The positiveness is a mask.
Lose the mask and you lose all the positiveness.
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Let me dispel this by saying something nice:
They generally take care of themself and look their best. The better to fool you with.
They can be ambitious. They can use you and use you up to get what they want.
They Smile a lot. To fool and manipulate you.
They know what they want. They don’t care who they hurt to get it.
They are paper trained. They rarely poop on bare floors.
They're generous to a fault. To themselves.
I think that’s about it.
I tried I really did. It is hard to find nice things to say about people who intentionally hurts other people, try to destroy them actually. And then walk away without a care or concern about the damage they did. It’s hard.
If anything else comes up I will add it.
ok here goes:
They clean up nice. At least their mom’s think so.
Deep down they are really nice people, (That’s why we bury them at 12 instead of 6 feet when they die).
They are rarely late. Unless they owe you money.
They rarely owe you money, unless you give it too them. (think about it).
They are good at making promises. Keeping them, not so much.
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Believe it or not most people know something is off about the narcissist even if they have not researched narcissism . People generally put up with a narcissistic person because they know the drama that surrounds them and don’t care for it.
The nice guy act : fake. The friendship : fake. The love: fake. Decent people cant stand the smug superiority , can’t stand the passive aggressive self absorbed righteous bs , they simply put up with it to keep the peace . A narcissist translates this as people liking them. Truth is they are very unliked and suffered to the narcissist’s ignorance . There is nothing likeable or positive about a true narcissist because the disorder infiltrates every facet of them, every friendship, every relationship , every job.
They are alone , they are living in their trauma and they do not experience the calm connection with their inner world as others do, therefore have to orchestrate things so they feel comfortable and in control. They are malicious in their intentions and they are abusive. It’s a tragic way to experience this lifetime.
There’s nothing positive about narcissism apart from the self knowledge and strength it ends up giving the survivors of it. It will teach anyone who who comes into contact with a narcissist at least one meaningful thing about themselves .
The narcissist is obsessed with winning but really they lose every time eventually . There’s your positive.
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Narcissists work tirelessly to empower us with a deeper understanding of whom to avoid in our personal and professional lives.
They make you appreciate people not tainted by the dark triad. Mere jerks or monsters are far less problematic - a breath of fresh air by comparison.
Narcissists do so much to raise awareness of emotional abuse. I cannot say enough about the educational initiatives they undertake. So many of us now know about gaslighting, breadcrumbing, intermittent reinforcement, the silent treatment, and projection. Without the help of narcissists, we might otherwise be ignorant of the power of these awful techniques.
In short, narcissists are terrific people! I learned so much about judging people’s actions rather than their words. They make PTSD real by bringing it to us; no way could we get that experience from a book.
Thank you so much, narcissists - you’re the best!
https://www.quora.com/Why-cant-people-see-the-positive-in-a-narcissist
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Coverts are the WORST kind of narcissist...the crazy making BS they put you through is Hell.
3 Ways a Covert Narcissist Masks Themself
@fifilafleur5555
6 months ago
When I have cried and shown my emotions because I’m passionate about telling the truth of what actually happened, the evil narcs have used my hurt and emotions against me saying I’m crazy and mentally unstable. This is what they do!!! So you have to be stoic and unemotional which can be incredibly difficult when your enemies are lying about you. It’s so soooooo painful. And infuriating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9up5VTIRJo
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@edwardelliott5756
3 hours ago
I have seen this in my ex wife's eyes many times. Her eyes turned totally black for the entire eye. It was like watching a horror movie only their were no special effects artificially producing them. It happened most often when some craftiness of hers was exposed for the scam that it was. Her voice got intense and deep. And lest you think this was my imagination, my daughter saw this several times herself. The scary thing was it could happen in a split second at any time. If this is not demonic possession I don't know what is.
What Makes Narcissists Eyes Turn Black
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d56JsjuXwE
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Why do narcissists walk away when you tell them the things they have done wrong?
They can’t handle the truth.
This would mean they are imperfect. This would mean you aren’t under their spell anymore. You no longer are willing to put up with their sh!t, their accusations, their control, their lies. Since you aren’t willing to put up with their sh!t anymore, what then are you providing them?
Unconditional love? They think it is impossible for you to love them unconditionally if they aren’t perfect. They believe they are only worthy of unconditional love if they are perfect. That means you no longer see them as lovable. You can tell them this isn’t true a million times. You can tell them despite a hurt, you love them still. You will allow 100’s of slights, but don’t tell them one slight, one hurt.
You can tell them you love them because of their imperfections, despite them. None of it matters. Their idea of themselves being perfect is not to be debated or questioned by anyone. You say they hurt you, they will tell you they are done with you, because now they have a litany of reasons, most of them what they did to you, of why they must discard you.
At this point they need to walk away, ignore, blame shift, project, gaslight so their house of cards can stay erect. Anything except accept the fact they are not perfect and take ownership of the one time you pointed out they hurt you. Now they know they will no longer be getting fuel from you.
You’re useless now. Unless you say you are sorry for pointing out how they are flawed and allow them to treat you however the hell they want to, or more so grovel at their feet.
Let them go!
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They love nothing more than criticizing you mercilessly, but if they think you may even hint at something they’ve done wrong, they will do all they can to shut you down and silence you.
They just can’t tolerate being held accountable.
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Because in their eyes they do nothing wrong. They are empty inside, are easily offended and refuse to take Any sort of criticism albeit constructive or just criticism. Telling them the truth about themselves is like a smack in the face. Their fragile egos just do not allow for Any type of judgement or criticism. We are just supply for a narcissist pure and simple.
If we go against Anything they do or say we become the Enemy. So, by leaving they will then go and find another source to boost there ego and make them feel powerful once again. It's Nothing you did or said, It truly is all about there inner demons. Prayers to all dealing with narcissistic abuse.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-walk-away-when-you-tell-them-the-things-they-have-done-wrong
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No one falls in love faster than a narc needing
a place to stay.
Never Let a Narcissist in
Your Home
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReIDbi0ukUI
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The devil doesn’t come to you as an enemy. The devil comes to you as a friend. Your supporter. Your hero. Charm. Flattery. Support. Those are the devil's methods. The narc is a possessed entity.
A Narcissist Will Never
Fulfill You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7he21-Hhe9c
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Demons are real! And they attack when you have good in your heart, because that's what pleases God!
Science Has Proven Narcissists Have Demons in Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbA_YoAWOZI
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^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
I have reached out to so-called Professionals to help me with my narc abuse issues. They have all refused to deal with me. I figure THEY ARE NARCS TOO!
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So many empaths struggle with that quest, "Am I the narc"? But many psychologists will tell you, the fact that you're asking that question means that you are not the narcissist. A narcissist would never asked themselves, "Am I evil; am I a narcissist"?
5 Signs You Don't Have
Evil Energy Like That Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgDrkmcjLxo
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Can a narcissist become really dangerous?
How dangerous?
TONS OF NARCISSISTS KILL THEIR PARTNERS EVERY SINGLE YEAR.
Narcissists are well known to have little to no self control. So to my mind, each victim is ALWAYS at risk.
ALWAYS.
And hey, the victims never suspected that they could be killed by their partners. This simply because narcissists are very COVERT.
They show you one thing when in fact they are the complete OPPOSITE.
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If being the lead cause somebody commits suicide is a danger then yes they are.
If crossing them and having your property, careers, and reputations systematically destroyed can be considered dangerous yes they are.
If being fooled into thinking you are in the relationship of your life and that person is actually and purposely causing emotional pain that will lead to lifelong problems with your sense of well being, self worth and can give you PTSD, depression and a whole list of other mental ailments is dangerous then yes they are.
If being around a person that will sacrifice a years long friendship for personal gain with no remorse and no regret is danger is dangerous yes they are.
If being around someone who can fly into a rage for a slight, be it real or imagined and physically attack you is dangerous, yes they are.
If being around someone who can tell two different people two different lies about each other to cause a big fight between them is dangerous, then yes they are.
Yes, they are dangerous, you’ve been warned.
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If they are well-socialized and non-violent, it is unlikely that their transgressions will exceed the threshold of petty, manipulative mind-games, denials, and well-disguised bullying.
If they are NOT well-socialized, are aggressive, and preserve grudges as a curator might preserve relics, THEN ALL BETS ARE OFF. Anything can happen then; such a person will escalate a conflict unilaterally and strike unexpectedly in unpredictable ways.
In Layman's terms, they will F*CK YOU UP!
https://www.quora.com/Can-a-narcissist-become-really-dangerous-How-dangerous
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Is it common for a narcissist to tell the victim that they can't have any good conversation with the victim because of the victim's behavior?
Of course it is common…this is their mantra! ( one of them anyway…)
You are blamed for EVERYTHING! They can't speak “rationally” to you because YOU'RE not “rational.” They can not be kind to you because you deserve to be punished and learn a lesson for how you ‘behaved.’
This is not only projection. This is the definition of blame shifting! Every single bad thing they have done they will accuse YOU of doing and more than likely…you have not done one single thing! Except maybe try to salvage this insane relationship and salvage your very own sanity which is on a slippery slope. How could it not be?
You are now not only questioning your own behavior…your own sanity….they literally start getting you to think you have done them wrong and then YOU are just wrong. Every day! All the time! And it will not end until you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, walk away and NEVER look back!
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Wait, you didn’t know your behavior was unacceptable? You didn’t try to stand up for yourself, did you? I know you didn’t tell them they were wrong, right? You should stop trying to find fault in everything they do.
Just because they made a mistake (or 5,000) doesn’t mean they’re ALWAYS out to hurt you (they only try to hurt you one out five times). You really should stop being so controlling. That might limit their ability to deceive you, which will then be your fault.
If you really wanted to make things work, you’d just accept them as they are. No questions asked. Believe that the sky is green and trees are blue, just like they said. They really need your support on these things. When you can see the error of your ways, and you can apologize, you’ll be forgiven and conversations can resume.
I actually believe this is the dialogue going through their minds.
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Yep! Once you know you know. The fog kept you from knowing and during those times.. you gave him what he needed.
not anymore. Now you can standup .. speak up. You can be sarcastic … smart mouth.. not pussy foot anymore and you are no fun anymore.
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Related
Do narcissists hate their victims?
Not until their 'victim' ceases to be THEIR 'victim'. Up until then, it just seems like they 'hate' you. One of the most 'exposing' answers you get from a narcissist is when you ask "Why do you act like you hate me so often?" and their answer is "It has nothing to do with you." or "Why does everything have to be ABOUT YOU?"
They can be looking at you like they could kill you, talking to you in a tone of voice like you're a stray dog in their trash, looking at you like you absolutely disgust them while giving you the silent treatment, or be totally ignoring you or anything you say and if you ask 'why' they're showing you nothing but 'hate', they accuse you of being 'self centered' and 'making everything about you'.
Duh, when somebody is looking AT YOU like they 'hate' YOU. Talking TO YOU like they 'hate' YOU. Looking at YOU like YOU disgust them. Ignoring what YOU are saying. Giving YOU the silent treatment.
What kind of f**ing idiot would try to tell YOU that these things 'have nothing to do with YOU' and the ONLY reason you would confront them is because "YOU are trying to make everything about YOU"?
If this bullshit is directed AT YOU it has EVERYTHING to do 'with YOU' whether it's YOU they actually 'hate' or not.
The least a 'victim' can do for themselves is get the hell away from the narcissist and make themselves 'worthy' of being 'hated' instead of just being talked to and looked at like they're 'hated'.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-common-for-a-narcissist-to-tell-the-victim-that-they-cant-have-any-good-conversation-with-the-victim-because-of-the-victims-behavior
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From:JH Simon
jhsimon@substack.com
To:m86thecat@yahoo.com
Fri, Sep 27 at 12:51 AM
The Lost Child In A Narcissistic Family
Uniqueness, spontaneity and agency hold no value in a narcissistic family. Instead, everyone is reduced solely to a role that serves the narcissistic parent’s grandiose false self.
The spouse acts as a central pillar to legitimise the narcissist’s grandiosity. The spouse also stands in as an emotional sponge which protects the narcissist from having to be vulnerable with the children. The spouse generally puts out fires and plays the peacekeeper in the home.
The golden child becomes an expression of the ‘light’ side of the narcissist’s grandiosity. They are the narcissist’s protégé; the one who the narcissist pins their hopes and dreams on.
As for the ‘dark’ side of the narcissist’s grandiosity, frustration and negative emotions need to be syphoned off to maintain the integrity of the false self. After all, a ‘superior’ and ‘special’ person cannot have flaws. For this, the scapegoat of the family acts as an outlet. The narcissist shames the scapegoat, humiliates them, rages at them and blames them for everything that goes wrong. Where the golden child can do no wrong, the scapegoat can do no right.
Finally, the divine child is the narcissist’s mascot, playing a ceremonial role to give the family a positive brand in public.
The only person who lacks a defined role, is the lost child. Their sole task is to keep quiet, and never rock the boat.
Access Denied
The lost child is usually a middle sibling, or in some cases, can be the youngest. Once the narcissist has separated two of the children into ‘perfect’ and ‘disgusting’, i.e., into ‘good’ and ‘bad’, then they stop caring about the rest.
This is the simplest way to look at it. There are exceptions, of course.
Some families have two narcissistic parents, and the children can be split into two camps, depending on birth order and gender. The divine child can also be an exception. Much like the golden child, the divine child can do no wrong. Yet what separates them is that, unlike the golden child, nothing is expected of the divine child. The golden child is supposed to live up to the narcissistic parent’s demands — to become competent, special and powerful according to their parent’s vision. The divine child, on the other hand, is ‘the baby’, and adored simply for being the baby. You can think of the golden child as the narcissist’s ideal version of themselves, and the divine child as the child the parent could have ideally been before their narcissistic wound emerged. Both are projections.
In some narcissistic families, a child is designated as a surrogate parent and told to look after their younger siblings. In this case, the surrogate parent is given a position of importance that has nothing to do with the narcissist’s grandiosity. They simply play a functional role which frees the narcissist from the pressures of their parenting role.
Any child who fails to claim a position during the ‘scramble’ for roles gets left behind. While they are unlikely to be tossed out onto the street, they subliminally come to understand that there is a VIP section in their family, and they are not on the list.
The narcissistic parent then goes about maintaining their ‘realm’ of grandiosity, shining the light (and darkness) of their attention on the children in the ‘club’. Meanwhile, the lost child gradually comes to feel unseen. They might fight this reality for a time, using aggression to wrestle some attention, but the narcissistic parent is quick to put them back into place. Over time, the thick, heavy, corrosive fog of shame washes over the lost child, as they sink deeper and deeper into a haze of obscurity.
The Vertigo Of No Identity
In the family home, nobody enquires into how the lost child is feeling. Nobody asks them questions, or pauses to share a genuine moment with them. Family discussions involve the lost child sitting there like a mute. If the lost child does pipe up, they might get a blank stare before the conversation continues without them, or someone interrupts them halfway. Nothing the lost child shares is taken seriously. If the lost child is depressed, or upset, or struggling with something, nobody notices or cares.
Meanwhile, the lost child lives with a burning sense of unworthiness. They feel as though nobody sees them, hears them or cares about them. Without a mirror from others to give them feedback, acknowledgement, approval or guidance, the lost child loses a sense of who they are. Their only companion in their lonely world is shame; that burning sense of inferiority and worthlessness. A dark heaviness takes hold of them, as they find themselves sucked deeper and deeper into an internal abyss, feeling as though they are floating in infinite space.
The lost child eventually develops a ‘schizoid’ personality and grows detached from the world, experiencing it through a psychological glass window. Nothing feels real in this state; not even the lost child themselves.
Plagued by despair while aching from the pain of not belonging or even existing, the lost child continues drifting through the dark abyss, before noticing a light in the distance.
Awaiting them is Utopia.
A New World Of Possibility
The lost child’s alienation from their family often carries into the real world. Lacking foundational interpersonal skills, they struggle to find a spot in social circles at school and in the community. They spend the majority of their time alone, feeling lonely even when surrounded by people. They may develop one-on-one special relationships with other lost children, and this might eventually grow into a friendship group of ‘outcasts’. Yet the lost child’s internal state remains intact: They feel like an alien in outer space.
Without a world to connect with, and with shame swelling inside them, the lost child retreats from their pain and into their mind. They typically develop a rich imagination, conjuring up countless pretend scenarios where people love them or they can be the hero. This helps medicate their feeling of being unlovable and impotent in the real world.
The lost child also develops a long series of crushes, picking out special love interests who might ‘choose’ them and pluck them out of obscurity. These crushes usually remain in the lost child’s imagination, however, with the lost child staring and longing from afar.
In their spare time, the lost child may spend countless hours reading, binge-watching or playing video games. This dissociated state acts to numb the lost child’s pain while giving them a sense of peace and control.
The lost child will often dabble in creative pursuits. They do this intuitively as a way to give shape to the unspeakable reality that is their life. After all, how can you voice something which does not exist?
Being an outsider for much of their life, the lost child gains a one-of-a-kind bird’s-eye view of the world. While others are wrapped up in the minutiae and triviality of daily action, the lost child sees only the bigger picture. Unaffected by the bluster and drama, and undistracted by social demands, the lost child has nothing but time and space. They spend it observing the world, as patterns and insights gather in their rich imagination, and they begin to connect dots nobody else sees.
An Indispensable Perspective
The world is a chaotic and confusing place. Unceasing events in our lives and society at large create ripples and waves of overwhelming emotions and problems. Someone in the house leaves their dental floss on the sink every damn day, and you are ready to burst. Two of your close friends are no longer on speaking terms, and you find yourself playing diplomat while losing sleep over the drama. Your lover has been acting strange and distant recently. Long hours at work are making it harder to honour your commitment to your basketball teammates. Such are the demands of living in an inter-connected world. You have no time to process, let alone make sense of your life.
Enter the lost child.
The lost child barely notices the mess on the sink, too lost in their imagination. They coolly observe their school or work drama from their lonely spot and wonder if it matches that psychology book they spent all weekend reading. An acquaintance of theirs, overwhelmed and over-stressed, soon notices the lost child doing nothing and confides in them about their relationship problems. The lost child consults their rich imagination and deep knowledge, and suggests something the acquaintance had never thought to consider. Half-impressed and half-sceptical, the acquaintance thanks the lost child and goes about their day, wondering how they will implement this enlightened bit of advice.
Herein lies the paradox of the lost child. From their dispensable and disposable place, they become uniquely indispensable. With their creative way of thinking, encyclopedic knowledge and bird’s-eye perspective, the lost child can offer immense value. In many cases, this value is squandered, as the lost child, riddled with low self-esteem and a lack of agency, remains in their place of obscurity.
For the fortunate lost child, the world comes calling. In such a case, some one notices the lost child’s exceptional worth and encourages them to share it. Lost children are often famed painters, prolific writers and brilliant philosophers. They go from being cast out of the world to transcending it, while transforming society in unfathomable and unimaginable ways.
If you happen to be a lost child, know this: You are worthy. But only when you learn to see yourself. Rise to your Higher state, and direct your lost inner child to follow your light back into the world.
God knows it needs you.
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Takes practice to stand in your boundaries. Narcissists behave like you don’t get to say “no” or have a boundary of mutual respect. Narcissists hate boundaries because their belief system is if it’s not their idea then it’s not the truth. There is constant relational abuse with a narcissist, who must dominate a person instead of collaborate with a person. Reciprocity and mutual respect is the foundation for all healthy relationships. Find people who give you respect back, keep healing survivors.
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My therapists says “they aren’t on your team” , my oldest says “they aren’t worth your time” and my heart says “they never loved me to begin with”… When ending a relationship with a narcissistic personality there will always be the narcissist’s supporters who abuse by proxy. In your darkest moments, remember there are other survivors out there who understand the toxic web of the narcissist. Keep healing survivors.
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Are vampires a metaphor for narcissists?
In a way…yes.
A metaphor to assist those who truly still have NOT come to their awakening. A vampire cannot understand love in the normal sense.
A vampire probably has one thing and one thing only in mind…instinctual drive…ie..like a wild animal…
To find food supply…to fill up his empty blood supply line with unsuspecting victim blood.
If the victim is willing…as long as they are willing…the vampire will continue to drain their victim of supply.
When this happens it is insideous…to the victim. They (narcissist) hide in the shadows (with mask off) decieve their victim into allowing them (to gain supply from them) future faking, lying…
Then they use all the abuse tactics…to traumatize victim. This paralyzes the victim into a state of… Confusion and chaos…
The victim is still trying to find the human side of the (vampire) (narcissist). Where is he?
The victim cannot see through all the poisonous fog to run.
It isn't until they DO get away that they start to have their awakening. Or possibly an awakening to red flags because their vampire mask slips at times…
If the vampire wins out in the end…the victim also becomes a vampire.
Yikes! Better to run now while you can.
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They most definitely are! They will seek to control you, whilst manipulating you at the same time. Their whole being thrives on your reactions to what they say and do. They can make you believe that yellow is green, and vice versa, and turn your whole world upside down.
You begin to question everything about yourself and can even convince you that you’re the one going mad. It’s power to them and they love it. Eventually there will be nothing left of you. You can feel emotionally and mentally drained and feel so bewildered by it all.
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I believe it's spot on even the fact that they can look at a mirror and not see themselves they never will they see somebody totally different than we see basically they see nothing because that's what they are and they never will be anything that's the horrible psychology that they must deal with but never understand fully they don't have the ability.
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All the good in you- is their fuel. You think you're going to be ‘the one' who can withstand their abuse until it no longer exists, or love them through it, but you'll wear yourself out into energy overdraft.
When it's all said and done, you'll be a shell of who you were.
The only differences between a vampire and a narc is that the narc feeds all day and doesn't appear threatening until it's too late.
https://www.quora.com/Are-vampires-a-metaphor-for-narcissists
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Should we cry for the person who hurts us?
In fact, people like to hurt us more and more as often as possible than helping. It's their self centered nature. We can't do anything about it.
Do you know why?
It's a human tendency to see the person lying flat, never to rise up in life. What do we call such a person? Call them by their name. That's understood.
You'll find such minded people everywhere. Home, work, life, YouTube......
It's a competitive world.
Be the Hunter and not the Hunted.
F*CK those guys.
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How do you make a narcissist feel guilty for hurting you?
They are emotional vampires. They live to hurt you they love to do it again and again. Most narcissists don't feel guilty. The ones that do it takes a lot of explaining. And you have the right to not explain to a narcissist. They can fake regret. They pretend they're sorry.
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If you want to make a narcissist feel guilty for hurting you, it's important to recognize that traditional methods of appealing to their empathy won't work, as narcissists typically lack the ability to empathize. They aren't moved by emotional appeals or guilt trips the way others might be.
Instead, you can attempt to educate them on how their behavior has impacted you and others. By helping them see how their narcissistic traits play out in real-life situations, you can show them how this type of behavior can damage relationships over time. Provide specific examples of when their actions have had especially negative consequences, and use clear, factual communication to help them identify why their behavior was harmful.
Setting boundaries is another crucial step. Clearly outline what is and isn't acceptable in your relationship moving forward. If you're unsure how to navigate this, there are many resources available books and articles that offer insight into narcissistic behavior from both clinical and personal perspectives.
But here’s the twist: to truly unsettle a narcissist, focus on your self-improvement. Narcissists care deeply about superiority—they need to feel like they're associated with superior people, even as they attempt to sabotage them to maintain their own sense of dominance.
By improving every aspect of your life your appearance, health, home, and overall well-being you indirectly make them aware of their own shortcomings. This can trigger a deep sense of shame within them, not for the harm they've caused you, but for failing to destroy or surpass you.
While narcissists may not feel guilt in the way most people do, they do experience a kind of self-directed guilt when they perceive themselves as falling short of their own selfish, mercenary standards. Your success and resilience can cause them to be mortified by their own failures, leading them to experience a twisted form of guilt not for hurting you, but for not being able to maintain their facade of superiority.
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First of all, the narcissist does NOT give 2 flicks about what they’ve done to you. What you feel is irrelevant. In the narcissists’ eyes, you totally DESERVED it! What’s important is they feel good and the shame monster is kept in check.
Second, once the narcissist starts to feel shame (NOT GUILT), they will crank up their rage and accuse you of any or all wrong doing, even whipping up BS out of thin air just to feel better.
Do your feelings ever matter? NO!!! Your feelings has never mattered and never will. Give it another day, month, year or decade, it will not matter.
Do yourself a favor and stop expecting that anything you do to the narcissist will result in positive change to your relationship, not today, not tomorrow not in a decade. Leave and go NO CONTACT if you can. Your LOVE CANNOT SAVE THEM. Show love instead to yourself. It is kind, not selfish.
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The narc knows that he is hurting you. He does that on purpose. He hurts you to make you feel inferior and to control and manipulate you. He knows what he’s doing to you and chooses to do it. He doesn’t care that he hurts you. He only cares when he no longer gets the right reaction out of you. He wants you broken, crying, weak and vulnerable. He doesn’t want you strong and confident.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-make-a-narcissist-feel-guilty-for-hurting-you
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What talents do narcissists get jealous of?
Everything. They are jealous of every little thing about anyone.
People say they really aren’t insecure, but I think they are. They feel inadequate. Or else they feel angry that everyone had it “so easy.”
For example, if they grew up with a single mother, dirt poor and on welfare, they might hold a grudge against anyone who came from a higher-class.
I once knew a really nasty psychopath who called me a word I don’t even remember anymore because it’s so archaic. It’s the word “Yuppie.”
It’s a word to denote someone from a comfortable middle to upper-middle class. He absolutely resented me for it, while pretending at first to like me.
That was so far from the truth! I was never a yuppie at all, and yet he projected all of his hatred on me.
He reminded me very much of the next one I would run into. They both looked similar. It is incredibly eerie. They both had that same attitude too, and seemed to hate anyone who had both parents and were middle class or wealthy.
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Literally anything. Having something they want. Being more accomplished than them. Being a more empathetic human being than they are. They can’t stand any of it. Narcissists have to pretend they are somebody that they aren’t just to get people to like them. Whereas, a kind and caring person can just do it naturally. Narcissists feel completely entitled to all the money, fame and glory that one can aspire for. But are not willing to put in the work most of the time that others are.
Most narcissists are aware of their flawed thinking. They know their behaviors and demeanor are, quite frankly, just not that appealing to others. That they are lacking in empathy. That they are extremely entitled and have double standards. That their feelings of grandiosity just aren’t entirely merit. Some of them struggle with this while others probably double down on it.
Narcissists are empty, hollow shells. They don’t really have any core self. They aspire to be like the people they admire but they can never really live up to those aspirations and I’m sure on some level it eats away at them.
They’d never admit any of this though. Who would?
https://www.quora.com/What-talents-do-narcissists-get-jealous-of
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How do narcissists talk?
They brag a lot: They love to boast about their achievements, talents, or possessions.
They constantly talk about how great they are and seek admiration from others.
They dominate conversations: Narcissists tend to dominate conversations and steer the focus back to themselves.
They interrupt others or redirect discussions to ensure they remain at the center of attention.
They fish for compliments: They use subtle or direct tactics to get compliments, fishing for reassurance about their appearance, accomplishments, or abilities.
They exaggerate or lie: They stretch the truth or outright lie to make themselves look better or more important.
They manipulate facts and events to fit their desired image and gain admiration from others.
They belittle others: They put others down or make condescending remarks to boost their own ego. They use insults or sarcasm to undermine and devalue those around them.
They use charm and flattery: Narcissists can be charming and charismatic, especially when they want something from someone. They use flattery and compliments to manipulate or gain favor.
They play mind games: They are skilled at manipulating others through mind games and emotional manipulation. They use subtle tactics to confuse or control those around them.
They got a big f*ckin' mouth that will not stop. It's worse than Covid. That came and went. A narc's BIG F*CKING MOUTH IS FOREVER.
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Narcissists tend to have distinct ways of communicating and speaking that set them apart from others. Here are some examples:
Narcissists often speak in an exaggerated, grandiose manner. They like to make themselves sound much more important, successful, or special than they really are. They brag about their achievements, possessions, or status, even if those things aren't that impressive. Narcissists want to make sure everyone knows how amazing they are.
In conversations, narcissists tend to dominate and talk mainly about themselves. They rarely ask questions or show genuine interest in what others have to say. The conversation is all about them and their perspective. Narcissists love to hear themselves talk and will interrupt or talk over others if they feel their spotlight is being taken away.
Narcissists also have a habit of being dismissive or critical of other people's thoughts and opinions.
If someone disagrees with them or offers a different viewpoint, they are quick to belittle, ridicule, or invalidate it. They believe their way of thinking is superior and won't tolerate any challenges to their ego.
They often use manipulative language tactics. They make statements that sound like compliments but are actually designed to put the other person down. Or they make vague, empty promises just to get what they want in the moment. Narcissists are masters of using words to control and exploit others.
The way a narcissist communicates reflects their deep need to feel superior, admired, and in charge at all times. Their speech is often self-centered, critical, and manipulative - all in service of feeding their inflated sense of self.
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Brief, abrupt, and obstinately foolish. I endeavor to avoid engaging with narcissists. Their conversations are repetitive and tiresome. I impose a strict time limit when interacting with certain family members, declaring upfront,
"I have only one hour to be on this call." Naturally, they attempt to extend the conversation beyond the allotted time, but I simply terminate the call. On occasion, I falter and inadvertently answer their calls.
Yet, if it weren’t for these rare lapses, I wouldn’t entertain or engage with these spiteful narcissists. There are two such individuals within my family whose company I find particularly distasteful and draining. In my view, interacting with them is an exhausting and uncomfortable experience.
https://anarcissism.quora.com/How-do-narcissists-talk
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What happens when narcissists do not
get their way?
You want the real, raw answer?
Chaos ensues. Narcissists are walking ticking time bombs, they're explosive when their deluded reality gets shattered. You ever seen a spoiled brat denied his candy? Multiply that by a thousand.
First things first, narcissists thrive on control. They live by manipulating everyone around them, feeding off the power trip of having things their way. Take that control away and BOOM, they're like cornered predators. They lash out, their facade crumbles, and the true madness begins.
Now let’s talk reaction. They go through stages: denial, rage, manipulation, and then the victim card. First, they won’t even believe it’s happening. Their hubris blinds them. They’ll deny reality, twist and turn everything until it fits their twisted narrative. “This can’t be happening to ME. I’m PERFECT.”
When that fails, RAGE kicks in. Explosive, uncontrollable rage. They lash out at anyone and everyone. They’ll scream, shout, make threats, throw tantrums like you've never seen. Hell hath no fury like a narcissist deprived of their way. Their ego can't take the hit.
Next, they go into overdrive mode on manipulation. These master manipulators will pull every trick in the book. Lies, gaslighting, deceit. They'll turn everyone against you, pit people, and wage psychological warfare to claw back their power. They’re like conniving snakes, slithering and twisting reality.
And here’s the climax – when all else fails – they play the ultimate card: The Victim.
Suddenly, the big bad narcissist is now the poor, misunderstood, and unfairly treated soul. Crocodile tears, sob stories, making you out as the villain. Classic charm offensive to regain sympathy and control. They’re shameless.
Listen, dealing with a narcissist is dealing with a relentless storm, a whirlwind of chaos. When they don’t get their way, you see their true nature. Destruction, madness, manipulation. They play the victim to weasel their way back. But make no mistake – it's all calculated, all a ploy.
So let it be a warning: When narcissists don’t get their way, they become destructive forces. Stand firm, stay sharp, and never feed their ego. Handle their tantrum for what it is – the flailing of a powerless tyrant. And remember, your strength lies in NOT giving them the control they crave. Make your stand. Boom. F*ck 'em.
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Narcissistic people, when they not get what they want, often throw tantrums, kind of like kids. But not the typical child tantrum where they kick and scream. Grown-up narcissists do it differently; it's like an adult version of a tantrum.
Instead of throwing themselves on the ground, they might give you the silent treatment or completely ignore you. They get really mad, and to deal with it, some might scream or even get physical if they're bigger and stronger. It's because you didn't give them what they wanted, and it hurt their feelings.
They might pretend they're not hurt, but deep down, they are. And to get back at you, they'll try to hurt you too. It's like a revenge thing. That's why it's crucial to understand that narcissists can't handle being told "no" because many of them never had limits set for them.
So, if you stand up to a spoiled narcissistic person and tell them "no," brace yourself for a difficult and toxic experience. They're about to take you on a rough ride. Wear a crash helmet.
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Narcissists love to get their own way, at all times.
When a neurotypical adult does not get their way, they adapt. They may feel a bit bruised or disappointed but they brush themselves off and live to go on another day.
Healthy parenting requires modeling this type of acceptance and adaptability to young children as they will certainly encounter situations where things do not go to their liking.
Not the Narcissist! No, behind that mask of perfection, Narcissists are extremely thin-skinned. They view anything other than getting their way as an all-out affront. They feel exposed, fragile, rejected, and betrayed.
A Narcissist will seethe with anger. Often, even the slightest hint that they are not getting what they want will trigger a violent rage. This may turn physical.
Another tactic is revenge by smearing or other cowardly, covert actions. A Narcissist might sabotage someone, or harm physical property. They might engineer a mishap at work, such as a project file going missing. Be very wary when a Narcissist behaves coolly as they are plotting their revenge.
As Narcissists do not respect boundaries, they will go all out to “persuade” you to give them what they want. They will manipulate, gaslight, guilt trip, offer you attention, gifts, or sex, anything to make you let them have their way. Once they get it, they despise you for being weak.
The expression “my way or the highway” was made by a Narcissist. It’s the only way they know!
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Expect to see manipulation.
The narcissist doesn’t view anyone as a person, rather an object to their means. If a narcissist isn’t getting their own way I would fully expect to see the silent treatment very soon if you’re not already getting it.
The silent treatment is a form of abuse and is very damaging. They will completely ignore your existence, to you this may appear like the final discard, however it never is. The silent treatment is used as a form of control.
When they ghost you or just act like you never existed they know what that is doing to you. They know the thoughts you will have and expect you to panic and blow up their phone with texts or calls, all will be ignored.
By simply contacting them this is a reaction and it is the response they look for to get fuel. When the silent treatment happens you must not respond in any way at all, not even to tell them that you won’t tolerate it, this is now a game of the narcissist.
It’s done to break your will and make you fold so you conform to them. When you don’t react to the silent treatment they will complexly change tack and hoover. Throwing little crumbs your way to try to get you to respond and get you back on the hook. I must stress this again, the silent treatment is a form of abuse.
if you respond to the Hoover then you are willingly handing your power to the narcissist and they will begin the push pull dynamic of pulling you in, then pushing you away, that’s the cycle and it will always be that way until you choose to be a survivor rather than a victim. I know this is hard, I’ve been there and endured a smear campaign that was so brutal it left me broken for a long time.
Please I urge you when the silent treatment comes don’t respond or react, you must go grey rock, you can not show this person a weakness in your armour or they will zone in on it and use it to destroy you.
Stand your ground, don’t tolerate abuse, physical or mental. You put a nail in a hole you make that mark, you take the nail out that impression is still there, that can’t be subtracted from the record. A sorry won’t suffice, they know exactly what they’re doing and it’s all designed to break your will.
Draw your line, set your boundaries and stick to it my friend. I wish you peace and happiness, remember, the second you walk away you become a survivor and regain power, that’s how you truly defeat a narcissist.
https://www.quora.com/What-happens-when-narcissists-do-not-get-their-way
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Is 20 too old to go trick or treating?
I love Halloween. I mean, I really, really love it.
But going out trick-or-treating after you’re older than, say, 14, is seriously creepy. It reeks of narcissism and entitlement. (“But my Mom still thinks I look cute dressed up like Jason….”)
If you’re like me, you find other outlets for your Samhainmania (I didn’t make that word up). You can do one of four things:
#1. Do up your front lawn or house in a good scary way, and dress like a zombie or witch or Lurch or whatever and hand out candy.
#2. If you’re really into the trick-or-treating aspect (seeing people’s great houses, etc.), then take a kid. (Make sure you actually know the kid.) You can dress up, too, but do NOT ask for candy (see above under “seriously creepy”).
#3. Throw or attend Halloween parties.
#4. Work in one of those “Frightmare” Haunted Houses for charity.
Your life isn’t over once you’re done trick-or-treating. Your tastes just need to be refined.
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No, as long as you act cute and little and have a cute costume, go right ahead. It will be fun and your neighbors will find it hilarious and fun. I would consider you cool for still wanting to do this.
To all those people who think that 12 is too old to trick or treat, you’re insane. Because teens are still children and can do the fun things that other children get to do. You are not an adult until you turn 18 and even then, if you’re still a kid at heart and feel like dressing up, eating candy, showing off your costume, and having fun, that should be allowed. I just don’t get all of the hate that people have for people who want to have fun.
So go, enjoy your night. Just don’t do anything stupid or immature like trying to scare the neighbors. That’s the only reason a person should be “banned from trick or treating.”
Honestly this whole “12 is too old to trick or treat” thing has me pissed and I’m about tired of it. I am in no way at all mad at the person who asked this question. I’m glad you want to go trick or treating still. It shows that you are strong in who you are and insecure about little. I like that.
Anyway, I am simply venting right now because so many people are closed minded and stupid and just absolutely immature about the “teens can’t trick or treat” thing. If a teen or young adult wants to trick or treat, let them have fun for crying out loud! You incompetent @sshole with no sense of enjoyment.
https://www.quora.com/Is-20-too-old-to-go-trick-or-treating
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:tello: "I got one. Ruffly 1988, I was living in Topanga Canyon. October 31st. I made my way back to my El Monte Culley Homestead where my brother took it over with his ol' lady and their hot and cold running rug rats. I went Trickin' with them. The same route that me and bro did in the 1960's.
Here's the scary part: The same people in the same houses with the same landscape, and their same cars and the same dogs were still there.
In 20 years, nothing changed, except the daughters who were then my age, and you can guess where they went. Onward. Not my way-ward.
Retro does not quite say it. It was a Rod Serling night. True story, so suck it like a lolly pop ".
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The longer you go without the narcissist, the less you want to have anything to do with them. Then one day you wake up and realise that you never want to have anything to do with this person again and it's done forever.
When a Narcissist Realizes You are NO Longer Interested
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
So much WOW! Have you been reading my blogs?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goNJKywAxYc
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How do you cope with someone who is not consistently narcissistic?
You run away. Period.
5 Signs You Have Fooled & Defeated the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naTCzXwbpyU
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They are jealous of your humanity and very existence.
3 Crimes a Narcissist Commits out of their Jealousy for You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tl0EFGtOw8
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Satan's butthole on a weather forecast and other indiscretions in our country today.
Kamala makes DESPERATE mistake Hurricane Helene
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
I am an American Patriot. Criminalize me. Bring it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbsRtVLqDww
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Why would a narcissist say, "You're getting to see the best version of me right now"?
When a narcissist says, “You’re getting to see the best version of me right now,” it can carry several underlying meanings, each reflecting typical narcissistic patterns of thinking and behavior. Here are some possible reasons why they might say this:
1. Self-Aggrandizement and Image Management
Narcissists are deeply invested in managing how others perceive them. By stating that you’re seeing their “best version,” they are reinforcing their self-image as someone who is superior or exceptional. It’s a way of reminding you (and themselves) of their perceived greatness and how lucky you are to witness it.
2. Control and Manipulation
This statement could be a subtle manipulation tactic. By suggesting that you’re seeing the “best version,” they may be implying that there are less desirable sides of them that they could reveal if you don’t continue to behave in a way that pleases them. This can create pressure on you to maintain their approval or favor.
3. Love-Bombing or Idealization Stage
In the early stages of a relationship, narcissists often engage in love-bombing, where they shower the other person with excessive affection, attention, and praise to hook them emotionally. This statement could be part of that idealization phase, where they’re presenting themselves as perfect and desirable. They want you to believe that this is their true self, making it harder for you to leave if their behavior turns negative later on.
4. Masking Their True Self
Narcissists often wear a “mask” to hide their deeper insecurities and flaws. By highlighting that you’re seeing their best version, they may be subtly acknowledging that they are actively working to present an idealized version of themselves, one that is not necessarily authentic. It hints at the idea that their true self may be far less appealing or more problematic.
5. Expectation of Admiration and Praise
Narcissists crave admiration and validation. By declaring that you’re seeing the best of them, they may be fishing for compliments or praise. They expect you to acknowledge and appreciate their greatness, reinforcing their need for external validation.
6. Testing Your Reaction
A narcissist may say this to gauge how you respond. If you agree or validate them, it feeds their ego and reinforces their belief that they are exceptional. If you don’t react the way they expect, they may become upset or see it as a challenge to their perceived superiority, potentially leading to narcissistic rage or passive-aggressive behavior.
7. Implied Warning
There can also be an underlying warning in this statement, implying that things could get worse. They may be hinting that they are on their “best behavior” now, and if things don’t go their way, you might see a less desirable version of them. This creates a subtle form of emotional control, suggesting that if you don’t maintain the current dynamic, they could shift to a more negative or harmful version of themselves.
8. Reinforcing the Power Dynamic
By framing the current moment as the “best version” of themselves, the narcissist reinforces the idea that they control the dynamic and that their behavior is something special or rare. It’s a way of subtly reminding you that they are in charge of how they present themselves and when they choose to show their “best.”
Conclusion:
The statement “You’re getting to see the best version of me right now” is likely meant to serve multiple purposes: boosting the narcissist’s ego, managing their image, and subtly controlling the dynamic between you. It reflects the narcissist’s constant need for validation, manipulation of others’ perceptions, and desire to maintain power in the relationship.
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It's a thinly veiled threat that implies “i could be so much worse.” This is nothing more than an excuse for bad behavior.
To me, this is almost the same as saying, “I'm so much better than I used to be. You should have seen me then.”
If you have to point out your vast personality improvements to people who didn't know you then, chances are nothing has changed.
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It means, oh hell!! This is the mask they want you to see, the facade and when it crumbles, and it will, you will see the real person. You will be confronted with a vile, manipulative, cheating loser who will always, always blame you for all of their problems. My suggestion is run away as fast as possible.
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In some contexts a narcissist saying “I’m only like this with you” is supposed to make you feel flattered and ‘special’ by implying that they are not ‘like this’ with anybody except you. Often, a more accurate statement would be “I’m only like this with you because you are the ONLY person WITH ME at the moment.” During or after a jealous rage, attempts to isolate you from others, dominate your time, or control your interactions is when you’ll hear “I’m only like this with you”.
Whether the statement is “I’m only like this with you” or “I only act this way with you” makes YOU ‘responsible’ for what he/she is ‘being like’ at the moment or how he/she is ‘acting’ at the moment, good or bad.
A little research and you will usually find they HAVE been and/or ARE being “like this” with a number of other people and a number of other people have seen him/her ‘act this way’ before. A pattern of never being responsible for how they are ‘being’ or how they are ‘acting’ at any given moment. They are justified, you are responsible.
https://www.quora.com/Why-would-a-narcissist-say-Youre-getting-to-see-the-best-version-of-me-right-now
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What do narcissists get from using people?
The main reason a narcissist goes after someone is to use them as a tool. They’re not just looking for attention because they can get that from their friends. What they really want is someone to help them get through life.
When a narcissist becomes your “partner” (I’m being sarcastic here), you end up helping them pay their bills. As the relationship goes on, they’ll ask you to sign for loans and other important papers to buy cars, houses, and other things.
But first, they’ll shower you with love and make big promises about the future. They might ask to move in with you or even get married. They’ll act like ideas for a new car or home are coming from you, but really, it’s all for them.
Another reason they use people is for social status. Having a partner makes them look more normal, like they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a spouse. Many narcissists become parents, and some have children outside of their marriage, though I don’t like the term “illegitimate” because the kids didn’t choose to be born.
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The number one reason a narcissist chases anyone is simply to subdue and utilize them as a tool. It isn't necessarily attention, because they can get that from their "friends." They are looking for someone to help them survive in this world.
When a narcissist becomes your "significant other" (note my tone of sarcasm here), you serve as someone to help them pay their bills. As things progress, they will ask you to cosign with them for loans and other legal paperwork to obtain automobiles, homes, and other property.
But they lovebomb you first and futurefake. They will ask you to move in with you or marry. They will make it appear as if the idea for a new car or home came from you, as if it's also for you. But it's actually meant for them.
The secondary supply a narcissist obtains through using someone is the social standing. They have a "front" now and can appear like a normal person with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or a spouse. Too many of them become parents and a great many will have illegitimate children while married, although I do dislike that term because the children did not ask to be born.
The tertiary supply is the attention. You make the narcissist "feel alive" with your presence at first, and they feed off of your energy. As time progresses, they show you who they actually are, and begin to spit venom at you quite frequently, until it all escalates into major blowouts from time to time. You begin to wonder "who is this person I married?" This is when you realise you were majorly defrauded and had been used the ENTIRE TIME.
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Narcissists often exploit relationships and interactions for several reasons, primarily centered around their need for self-enhancement and validation. Here are some key motivations behind their behavior:
Validation and Admiration: Narcissists seek constant affirmation and admiration from others to bolster their self-esteem. By using people, they can receive the praise and attention they crave.
Control and Power: They may derive a sense of power and control over others, which reinforces their self-image as superior. Manipulating or using people allows them to maintain dominance in relationships.
Emotional Supply: Narcissists often view people as sources of emotional energy or “supply.” They may draw on others’ emotions—whether admiration, love, or even anger—to sustain their own sense of worth.
Avoidance of Vulnerability: By keeping relationships superficial or transactional, narcissists can avoid genuine intimacy and vulnerability, which they may find threatening.
Exploitation for Personal Gain: They may use others to achieve personal goals, whether for social status, financial gain, or other advantages, viewing relationships primarily in terms of utility.
Narcissistic Rage: When they feel threatened or criticized, narcissists may retaliate against those they perceive as undermining them, using emotional manipulation or aggression to regain a sense of control.
In summary, narcissists often use people to fulfill their emotional needs, assert control, and achieve personal goals, while maintaining a facade of superiority and invulnerability.
https://www.quora.com/What-do-narcissists-get-from-using-people
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What makes covert narcissists so dangerous?
All narcissists are dangerous, but covert narcissists invert our ideas of compassion, altruism, trust, kindness, and meekness.
We come into this world automatically believing that compassion cannot be bad, nor can someone who appears to be nice bad, and we automatically believe that meek people are just meek without any duplicity in them.
We do not come equipped to second guess appearances. So we never suspect anything hiding behind that semblance of compassion or altruism, that semblance of kindness, nor do we suspect any hidden drive to subvert or control behind that show of meekness.
But covert narcissists are not compassionate, altruistic, trustworthy, kind, nor meek. They are the opposite. But you do not see that.
And when something is the opposite of what it appears to be, it is treacherous.
So covert narcissists are the very epitome of treachery. And treachery is the very epitome of dangerous. What you do not see will injure you the most, because you cannot avoid it, nor prepare for it.
You expect malice and injury from an enemy, but you do not naturally expect it from a friend or parent. You cannot expect it from them. It is unnatural and unhealthy to expect malice and injury from loved ones.
So with these loved ones, you drop your shield and show them your back, and if there happen to be any covert narcissists hidden amongst them, they will get treacherous access to your naked back.
Doing the things a healthy, well adjusted, trusting, loving person does with a covert narcissist is the worst thing anyone can possibly do. But you cannot know that.
The covert narcissist is Judas hiding amongst people you trust, they can accomplish what an entire army cannot, because they use the back door.
Betrayal is possibly the worst thing any human can do to another. And covert narcissists are the specialists in the art of betrayal. You might have first learnt the taste of betrayal from a covert narcissist.
But only someone you trust can betray you. The other kinds of narcissists, especially the overt and malignant, stand out too much, they are too obviously abnormal. It is easy to spot them, and they are either immediately irritating or quickly turn scary. Only the naive will trust them.
But covert narcissists will fool even seasoned narcissist spotters. Of all the types, covert narcissists require the most scrutiny for me to identify. This means that they are in possession of my token trust for the longest time of any type of narcissist.
After you’ve suffered your major experience of betrayal from your covert narcissist, you will find that you cannot naively believe anymore in any compassion, altruism, kindness and meekness that you see in people. You start second guessing every good thing you see, from anyone, even innocent genuine people. The covert narcissist has destroyed your token belief in goodness.
And what kind of world would it be if everyone cannot trust the kindness they see?
And people think you are crazy if you dare express any second guessing of someone’s apparent niceness, compassion or altruism.
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Absolutely yes. Covert narcissists are extremely difficult to spot. They appear to be loving, caring, and kind. They can easily win the trust and confidence of people around them, including yourself.
Covert narcissist victim's mentality in every situation gives them the benefit of doubt. They exactly know how to play victim card.
Covert narcissists are very cunning in spoiling your reputation; they will spoil your reputation by showing care and concern without using abusive words. People will believe that covert narcissists are very bothered about their partner.
Covert narcissists are very passive and aggressive in nature; you won't even realize for ages that you are being abused.
Covert narcissists are very good at covering up their cheating habits; it's very difficult to catch them cheating.
It's very hard to collect evidence and proof against covert narcissists because they know how to hide abusive behavior.
Covert narcissists will be sitting in front of you, talking nicely; they will be plotting something horrible about you with a cool and calm mind.
Covert narcissists are vindictive in nature; they will keep punishing for things that have offended them.
Covert narcissists will drain your energy completely by acting like victims. They keep feeding on your empathy and sympathy.
It's very hard to leave Covert narcissists because you feel guilty for leaving them, and they make you addicted to them.
Covert narcissists are wolves in sheep's clothes.
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-covert-narcissists-so-dangerous
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What does a narcissist "discard" look like?
It depends on the narcissist, but it usually involves:
Degrading you, and picking fights.
DARVO - Defend, accuse, reverse victim and offender. Basically, this is gaslighting. Where someone says, “I wouldn’t have done that awful thing to you if you hadn’t had made me do it…in fact, you’re ALWAYS doing that kind of thing to me. What’s wrong with you? You need to go get some help.”
Picking at your insecurities, and causing you to feel as if nothing you ever do is good enough, but if you only tried more, then maybe they’d be happy.
Then later, outright threatening to leave. They never actually leave. They always come back, as long as you let them. This is why a lot of relationships with narcissists end up with restraining orders
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The discard can start at any time, and to those of us suffering from it, it looks like it’s coming out of nowhere. But to the narcissist, it’s like they’ve been living a secret double-life. They planned something based on an opportunity they saw, or an opportunity to be with someone else that presented itself.
Moving on can be scary, though, and it takes courage, and narcissists are absolute cowards in all things (including in self-reflection and in taking responsibility for their actions. Total cowards).
It might feel like suddenly your partner is never satisfied with you. They’re not supportive, they’re demanding. If you ask for something, they counter with something along the lines of, “Well, what about me?!”
In my case, the discard happened in waves, over about 3 years. My then-husband and I would have a series of a few good weeks (usually just weeks) and then BAM, he’d be grouchy and depressed and fighting with me about something again.
For most of our relationship we were “doing battle” with his first wife over money and their kids (the kids who lived with us, and his first wife is actually looney and delusional and unstable. I saw that first-hand for years and watched them squabble, disgustingly, for a very long time while I was made the primary caregiver to the kids…).
There was always something to be stressed over. There was always an excuse. Plus, my WasBand got a bipolar 2 diagnosis after our daughter was born. So there were always cycles to deal with, and some situation with the kids (usually major drama involving my stepdaughter). Until…one day….there wasn’t anything to worry about anymore. Things were stable.
Things seemed good. But my WasBand was still ornery and critical and unhelpful and refusing mental health treatment and not taking care of his bipolar. And when I tried to bring it up, I was told I was the crazy one, and that I was overbearing and entitled. Needless to say, that was hugely confusing.
I found out much later that he’d been cheating. The times when he was worst to me, those were the times when he had someone else making him feel like the hero he was in his own mind, and because I didn’t see that I was villified. Toward the end of our relationship, it turned out he had taken his levels of cheating up a notch, and when he got dumped by one of his girlfriends, he had a meltdown and presented it as just severe depression caused by ??, which finally resulted in his getting into an outpatient treatment program for alcohol abuse and depression.
That worked for a few weeks until he started drinking again. And…turned out, he started drinking again and treating me badly (insulting me in front of the kids, being generally unhelpful around the house, being abusive and shouting at me constantly while threatening to cut off my access to my car and my cell phone), right around the time he took up with his current girlfriend (who had just gotten a divorce).
So to make a long story end…narcissistic discard often feels, to the victim, as if it comes out of nowhere, and it works best on people who have poor boundaries and who are under the spell of a narcissist, but ironically it’s the discard that helps a victim see the light.
It’s a cycle of promises and insults and demands that the narcissist uses in hopes that their victim will stay engaged and just try harder to be better. But what the cycle really does to people who figure out their boundaries and worth, is make them want to leave and never look back.
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It looks like a stealth attack that takes you by surprise. This is because narcissists teeter on the edge of deciding whether to dump you and move on to your replacement or stay put.
That means they've been breadcrumbing you into thinking they really care while making up their filthy little minds. So you're feeling all warm and fuzzy when they suddenly lower the boom and tell you what a piece of sh!t you are, they never loved you and they're blocking you everywhere. Oh yeah, and they like to tell you they've found somebody new and they're much better in bed than you.
You're left in pain, wondering what the hell just happened while they move happily on. That's what a narcissist's discard looks like.
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Like looking a monster in the eye. You will be loved and just like that, they literally hate you.
Personally, it was the coldest thing that I've experienced from someone. Everything that you say and do, every bit of sense that you try talking into them will be met with gaslighting and then the dreaded stonewalling. Stonewalling is literally considered to be mental torture.
It has been 5 years and when I still go back to that place, I feel the panic try to rise up again.
It's the cruelest and nastiest thing that one can experience. You see the monster right in front of you, while the rest of the world will see a kind individual in them.
They will walk away from you, like you never existed at all. They will then post things to social media like their life is so good, while you sit there falling apart and in tears.
They will accuse you of being Everything that they are. Welcome to the world of projection. They will now proceed to tell the world that you are a bad person that lied to them. Again, everything that they did to you will be told as if you did it.
If they cheated on you, they will now claim that you are the cheater. If they lied about everything, they now tell everyone that you are a liar.
The worst is that they will torture you mentally all the while spreading lies and smearing you.
It's truly cruelty at it's finest.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-a-narcissist-discard-look-like?no_redirect=1
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Why do narcissists discard their partners?
We ask ourselves this question over and over—its so difficult to wrap our heads around because we were in love with, or loved and cared for, the narcissist. We forget the basic premise of the narcissist’s being: they didn’t love us the way we loved them.
They aren’t discarding a “partner” in the same way we think of this treasured and adored person in our lives. We were simply a means to an end. We were not “partners” to them but rather tools in a greater scheme. Discarding us is easy. It’s essential to their entire existence really—as part of a cyclical process they use to get what they need and want.
They have developed a repulsive skill set they perceive to be superior to our own. They do not have a moral compass but they count on our morality, our integrity, and our humanity to make their lives actually work. You are only a “partner” that served a specific, temporary purpose. And if you cracked their code before that purpose was fulfilled, they’ve discarded you out of sheer self-preservation.
You won.
In this vein, channel your empathy to understand the narcissist and “why” it chose to “discard” you—and perhaps “when” it became necessary. It’s completely ironic and sounds impossible, but if anyone can do it, you can.
Empathize with the narcissist and it’s methods. Understand how the foundation, the walls, the roof, and the garden were all fiction—masking it’s shameful secret—whatever that may be. At some point, the tall tale will cease to exist, ironically, as it can not hold up to the principles of morality, integrity, and humanity.
The narcissist must avoid their own ruin at all costs, which includes foregoing some of the benefits realized from you, even if you were willing to continue. The reality they’ve created for you is on a time clock and they would never trust or believe another human being capable of allowing their existence forever and they see us as weak-minded and unevolved.
To them, it is only a matter of time before you will discover a truth or the whole truth, especially as you narrow in on it and get closer and closer to uncovering what they have built.
Like a dirty restaurant about to get a health inspection, they close up shop and disappear. You suspect why they have done this but it’s that whimsical narcissistic escape from facing accountability and from facing your knowing the truth that provides just a teeny tiny bit of doubt: you know the one little doubt your heart likes to pump up as having more influence than it should when compared to all your other experiences and observations.
If they don’t shut down the operation before you get your validation, you become a danger to their being and/or you can never be used again because you will have with utmost certainty—once and for all—this validation you were right all along and their brilliant con is over.
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Buckle up and hold onto your seats, ladies & gents. It’s going to be a wild ride!
A narcissist will discard of you in the most callous way imaginable. It will come out of left field and hit you right in the face like a hard rock. You will come out of it confused, bewildered and disoriented not knowing how the person who claimed to love every part about you, now thinks you are absolutely repulsing to them.
You can’t understand how one moment you are spending all this time together, staying in touch frequently, to now getting blocked, shunned, cut off and demeaned. You can’t fathom how cruel they are being to you, when all you did was be a kind-hearted person to them. You go from being the centre of their attention, to them now wanting nothing to do with you.
You will be quickly demoted from their supply chain when they have started to get bored of you; which happens with every single person they entangle into their toxic web. Once they have used up all the good things that you have done for them, then they no longer have any care to keep you around.
You were once their favourite and number one pick, but without a second thought they will kick you straight to the curb with a new person already groomed to take your place. This person is now taking up all their free time, and getting all their undivided attention and love-bombing.
They are saying all the sweet things to them like they used to say to you. While they are making you seem irrelevant by dismissing you out of their lives, they are telling this new person how special they are. They have found someone whom they consider to be “better” than what you have provided them.
Narcissists want variety, and don’t want to settle down or cater to meet the needs of one person for the rest of their lives. The thought of that is insane to them. They love the idea of people being loyal to them, but that will never be reciprocated back.
They want to be able to sleep with whoever they want without question, and expect you to put up with it, or else you will be tossed aside in an instant. They want to be able to flirt with neighbours, strangers, your friends, your family, co-workers or any random person they met online or at a club and they expect you to look the other way & accept it, or else you are crazy, jealous, insecure and controlling.
They want to be able to use their social media platforms as a way to hook up with other people, and could care less about your feelings about it. They want to be able to blow all their money on drinking and doing drugs, partying, the sex industry, gambling or anything other than taking care of responsibilities.
Then they will go and spend all of your hard-earned money too without hesitation. They will expect you to bend over backwards for them, sacrificing your dignity, self-respect and identity, and nothing will ever be enough for them, no matter how hard you try. They used to love hearing from you, and now they find everything that you do or say to be annoying.
They will say that you are smothering them, that you are needy, clingy and controlling. They will do all these things on purpose, and then they will turn around and blame you for it. You will finally get to a point where you confront them because it’s just getting too much and you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells just to make them happy.
They will discard of you when you start to call them out on their erratic, destructive, impulsive, irresponsible and reckless behaviour. In their minds they think “How dare you hold me accountable for deliberately hurting you!! Silly you, off you go.” They don’t want to hear any lip about how much pain, hurt, distress or abuse they have brought to your life.
They don’t want to listen to you telling them how upset you are that you caught them lying, cheating, or that you are bothered they flirt with other people. They don’t want to hear about how they are ignoring all your messages, and have been avoiding you. They want to be free to live their lives doing as they please, and don’t want to be held accountable for any of the ramifications of their actions.
They will also discard of you to elicit control over you. They do this just for the fun of it to see how far they can test you. One second you could be having the best time together, and you’ll wake up to only find that you’ve been blocked, they’ve changed their number, they’ve moved, they’ve quit their jobs and basically dropped off the face of the earth.
This will leave you in a state of panic and make you feel so abandoned because you grew so attached to them. You spend all your time just going crazy and trying to make it through each day when you can barely function. They leave you in unbearable pain while they seamlessly move on with their lives and slither like manipulative snakes onto the next victim without any regard for how they’ve left you to bleed out.
They will discard of you but not before they make you feel completely worthless, heartbroken, alone, and devastated. Before they send you off, their goal is to take more supply from you by watching you fall to your knees in pain not knowing how it all came to this.
They love seeing you sacrificing everything for them, when they fully know they have others waiting in line willing to do the exact same. You don’t understand how all the amazing memories, and good times you shared are now all crumbled to shambles in pieces while they are creating them with someone else.
They discard of you because they don’t care about you. Really, they don’t. This is the most important thing to understand. While you may actually be in love with them, be loyal, be faithful and giving; they don’t think the same way you do. They don’t understand commitment, or what it means to compromise for another person.
They think of themselves in every moment at all costs and won’t let a single person get in the way of that. They could tell you that they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, that they will never leave you, and the second you turn around, they will be with someone else telling them the same things, and have casted you out of their lives faster then you can blink. They want the freedom to do as they please, no questions asked.
They discard of you because it gives them the thrill of knowing they have dominance and power over you. They love watching you beg, plead, cry, and being in distress, losing yourself over them. They are smearing you to their friends, and anyone else who will listen about what a horrible person you are. Meanwhile, they are leaving out all the horrific things they said and did to you.
They will call you a crazy, stalking, annoying, jealous ex that won’t leave them alone when you try to just communicate with them. They do this as a way to triangulate you with their new supply and make them jealous. They want to make it seem like they have people head over heels for them, and that they have unlimited options.
They will discard of you because they don’t attach themselves to people. They will use whoever for whatever benefits them, and once something more enticing comes along, then it’s goodbye for you without a moments notice.
They may cut you off for days, weeks, months or even years and then suddenly reappear if it suits their needs. It doesn’t matter how much time passed, or how much damage they caused, they feel that they can come and go whenever they wish. They ensure that they choose the most empathic people, because we are the most forgiving.
They will know all the right things to say and do to win you over again and it will just be the same repetitive cycle of abuse.
They will discard of you at the worst possible time. You could be going through some really difficult challenges and they will use this opportunity to abandon you. They do this to show you that they refuse to hold your hand through the tough times, and be someone you can depend on.
They will find whatever you are going through to be an inconvenience to them, so they will just drop you for one of their other supplies that isn’t “whining and complaining” and that is available for them at their beck and call. They will discard you during birthdays,holidays or any special occasion.
If you are looking forward to something, they will find a way to ruin it for you and pull the disappearing act by ghosting you, giving you the silent treatment and refusing to engage with you.
They will also discard of you to make sure that you are submissive and complacent for future use. If they cut you off as punishment for standing up for yourself and you came back around begging, then they know they will have you right in the palm of their hands when they decide to worm their way back in, because you so desperately want to work things out with them.
You are willing to forget everything that happened just to get the chance to see them again. You are willing to sacrifice your own boundaries to allow a more open relationship that suits their needs because you don’t want to risk losing them again. You are willing to experiment sexually in ways you never have before just to keep them satisfied. It’s all madness!
They treat you like a slave, and will leave you in an instant no matter how much you loved them, cared for them, or how long you’ve known them. It doesn’t matter if you have been together for decades, months or weeks; they will do what they want, when they want, with who they want, for as long as they live.
They will discard of you mercilessly, and without any remorse. They will do it unexpectedly like they are holding a gun to the back of your head & pull the trigger after they hear your cries. They will come at you full force like a blunt trauma impact and watch you suffer. They will stab you in the back, and twist the knife even further each time you keep letting them come back for more.
Once they discard of you, please take my advice and don’t ever lower yourself to chase after a person who cut you out so ruthlessly. They aren’t worth your time, your tears, your compassion, your effort, or your love. The longer you stay with them, and the longer you wait around for them to decide to want you again, you will lose yourself a little more each time until you no longer even recognize who you are.
That’s not a life worth living for any of us. Every person deserves to be loved back when they give their all. Nobody should have to endure abuse, being cheated on and repeatedly disrespected just for one person. We wouldn’t want our friends or family to go through that, so why would we want that for ourselves?
Don’t ever think that you aren’t good enough, or that you won’t ever find someone else, or that you won’t be happy. Anything is better (even being alone) than being constantly hurt, used, walked on, degraded, betrayed and tossed away like garbage.
“The people that are quick to walk away, are the ones who never intended to stay.”
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-discard-their-partners
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Narcissists lack self awareness and overestimate their empathy. They know hitting you is wrong and may even know it hurts , but they aren’t motivated to care and often feel the victim deserves to be abused , devalued and discarded.
They don’t want to hear your anger or complaints about their behaviors so they devalue your character, spread rumors to those who would offer you support, and discard you in the most cruel and calculated ways, making you believe it your fault that the relationship is ending.
Narcissists want to do what they want to do without anyone telling them different. They are childish, scary and think they are superior all at once. If you continue to stay you will be abused more and more with less good moments in between.
Do your best to learn about narcissistic abuse and patterns and get away. Find support and trust you aren’t alone out in the world. Keep Healing regardless of the chaos because you deserve your contentment and peace in life . Stay Strong.
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Codependency originated with alcohol abuse. Most if not all survivors didn’t know that there would be a punishment/reward system in their relationships. That there are people who claim to be concerned about you, or love you, but are gaslighting your reality, shaming you for your vulnerabilities and erasing your personhood.
The trauma bond is like an addiction because we were conditioned to submit in the narcissistic relationship. Our brains were hijacked from the hormonal shifts of dopamine to cortisol back to dopamine /oxytocin and adrenaline.
The constant intermittent reward/punishment negatively impacts our brain . Narcissistic abuse healing requires 18–24 months to have your nervous system calm down, hormones in homeostasis and the shock to wear off of living a lie. Keep healing survivors.
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Page 32
When narcissist used discard as punishment for you, but you went no contact after being discarded, does it bother the narcissist that he/she lost control over you? Or will he/she be careless towards losing discarded supply?
When a narcissist discards you it’s not always to punish you. Most of the time he/she is bored with you and your validation no longer holds much weight. That’s when they search for new or back-to-love bombing old supplies.
This starts mentally in their minds before the physical discard. They hold on to you until they secure (at least they think) the new or old supply, and then discard you without closure to come back to you if needed. Narcissists can’t be alone and without supply at all.
I would say yes, they will get upset with you because they’ve lost control and call you childish when you refuse to answer their calls or block them. A narcissist doesn’t think about being careless or not. They live in the moment and if something else or someone else has their attention at the time, he/she is not thinking about discarded supplies.
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Well they have discarded you, they absolutely don't care about you, they would love to see you fail or lose so they can say/feel that they made you or carried you and you are nothing without them.
Only way they will be bothered if they see you do well because it is a loss which they could have benefitted from and that they didn't have any power over you to be able to affect you with a discard, that makes them feel small and insignificant.
That why then they hoover, so the narcissist would try to lure you back in for them to mess you up and discard again so you won't be upto any good. They absolutely don't care about you and you should just move on with out wondering if they care about you else you will be playing this game whole your life wasting it.
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There is likely no wrong answer. Everyone's experience will be similar yet slightly different.
Given you mentioned “discard as punishment for you”… to me it's an absolute yes that it bothers them that they lost control. From my experience the punishment discard is not usually intended to be permanent… although I wonder how many of us realised we were being discarded? I didn't, and there were multiple short term discards as we call them before I said, Screw this!
In my view the temporary or punishment discard, is intended to raise concern with the victim, that their abuser may leave them. It may create a sense of “I have to do more to make them happy” typically making the victim easier to control.
When it leads to the victim leaving and taking control of themselves, the narcissist or toxic abuser absolutely gets ticked that they lost control. Afterall that has been the results of all of their previous efforts.
My Ex took it to a level that is typical of a covert malignant, but I had no idea that she would do what she did. In my mind she would want to save or restore our relationship, not at all the way it happened. She wanted control of me, and when I wouldn't let her, she turned to everyone else in our lives and did her best to control what they believed and how they would view and treat me.
This for me was a pivotal moment, it confirmed a lot of my research, which also allowed me to stick to my boundaries, which just infuriated my Ex even more. It didn't matter how hard she tried, I did not give her a reaction. And when I had to see her, due to legal proceedings, you could see how angry and bitter she was. In the end her anger was expressed with intense blame and condemnation.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/When-narcissist-used-discard-as-punishment-for-you-but-you-went-no-contact-after-being-discarded-does-it-bother-the-na
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What happens when you don't give a narcissist attention?
Narcissists always have ways to get your attention. If they are not getting your attention, they will use passive-aggressive tactics or throw tantrums to get your attention. A narcissist can't live without your attention. Narcissists fear losing you if they lose control, power, and authority over you. When narcissists get your attention, they are sure they have control over you.
If you don't give narcissists attention, then they will say you don't love them. Narcissists will use different ways to get your attention.
Attention is like a drug for narcissists. If narcissists aren't able to get your attention, then they will probably look for other supplies to get attention. If a narcissist has the habit of cheating, then they'll look to cheat on someone who gives them attention.
If narcissists have a very good supply, then they are likely to discard you or ghost you.
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That depends on what stage of their predatory cycle they are on. If they are alone and looking for a new source, then they tend to stay away from people that pay them little attention, or those who voice their opinions or disagree with them upon first meeting them. They know that this person will be too much work.
They lurk in the shadows waiting for that perfect moment, that perfect innocent prey who starts to show them attention. The happy, kind, outgoing person who they know they can never be. It is at this very moment that their sickly grooming begins.
The first moment of attention is like a Ouija board allowing entities a portal to finally connect to a world that they are so desperately trying to get into. Once the narcissist gets through the portal and they find it relatively easy to do so, they know that this new world is their oyster and they aren’t going to give this opportunity up anytime soon.
And so the love bombing begins. This provides them with so much attention. This is very powerful attention for them and is exactly what they need to fill their devastating void. As a new source you are a very valuable food source.
However, they know they can’t keep up with this for very long. For them it is just too exhausting. They know that that eventually their mask is going to be ripped off as it has many times before, for they have to make the most of what they can while it lasts.
During this love bombing they are in full covert operation mode, gathering as much intell as they can about you. Personal information. Things you don’t want anyone to know or ever find out about. They know that they are eventually going to loose your good attention so they need as much ”dirt” on you as they can possibly get, so that when your good attention towards them starts to fizzle out, they can resort to their secondary fix which is your negative attention.
They will do things like clean your house for you when you are at work and try to find as much private information on you as they can. (And constantly remind you what a good person they are for helping you clean your house.) They will go through your social media and will open your mail.
This is their insurance policy on you. When your good attention is gone, they will use this information to try to torture you with. For them, it doesn’t matter whether your attention is good or bad, it is a fuel source.
When you stop providing them with good attention, they will go ballistic. They will become absolutely vicious. You won’t know what hit you. Which is why they need as much information on you as they can possibly find. You are nothing more than a possession to them and they will do ANYTHING to keep your attention. Positive or negative.
Which is why going no contact is so devastation and debilitating to them. When you go no contact you have taken away their nourishment. You have left them by themselves, with only themselves.
That is the scariest place for them to be. That is their hell on earth. Being by themselves without their your attention is so terrifying to them because they know who they are. They can’t stand being with themselves because they are so broken and empty. They are not capable of filling their own cup.
Going no contact will be very difficult. They still need attention so even negative attention is still fueling them. They will attack you, continue to torture and try to manipulate you. We have all read the horror stories of what they will do to retain your attention.
Just remember that anything they do to you after going no contact is their way of trying to get a response from you. It’s a way of getting your attention to to continue to feed themselves. So no reaction from you is cutting off their fuel source. And a fuel source makes them feel better.
God I know its hard but please just don’t react. When you are dealing with no contact with a narcissist please remember that SILENCE IS GOLDEN! Let them spill their wheels into oblivion.
This is your precious life and live it to the fullest by no longer giving them your attention. The only person that truly deserves your attention is you.
I send so much love and healing to all of you who have suffered through narcissistic abuse. I have been reading so many wonderful posts on Quora for a while now. Thank you for helping me through my pain.
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When the narcissist can't reach you, it drives them off the rails.
And I am not just referring to reaching you by physically contacting you (that too), but rather reaching the part of you which underlies the core of your existence, the driver of your thought processes, behaviors, and actions.
Put differently, narcissists need you to be an extension of them. Simple as that. They need you to respond to their prompts in just the right ways.
That is of course, if they see value in you, if they see value in guiding your behaviors, thoughts, actions, to appease them and serve them. Their life is all about scouting out high value supply, securing it, using it, discarding it. If you are not of value to them, they don't care.
Their wellbeing vs their demise – it all comes down to your response to them. You, the high value supply.
Narcissists don't like to put all their eggs in one basket, but they so often do.
Cause most baskets won't give that egg the time of day, meaning there is a small cohort of baskets to choose from, and you feature highly, cause you look just fine, check you out.
Yes, the key with the power to unlock their potential for happiness, and also the key with the potential to lock them away in perpetual (?) darkness, in your hands.
Your life, your choice.
https://psychopathologyandpsychology.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-dont-give-a-narcissist-attention
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Why can't I have a normal conversation with a narc? Why does every conversation have to be crazy making?
Normal conversations with narcissists are very difficult. Narcissists don't see from your point of view; narcissists just want to dominate the conversation according to their agenda and motives.
You can't discuss your problems or complain about anything because narcissists have no interest in your problems and complaints. Narcissists can even lash at you by calling you nagging and annoying. Narcissists get irritated when you try to have healthy conversation with them.
If you are bothered by narcissist behavior and you want narcissists to understand your feelings, then they will pick up a fight to punish you for pointing at them. Sometimes narcissists will ignore your conversation, change the topic, or just leave you alone to avoid conversations.
Narcissists communicate only when they want something from you. Narcissists main motive is to win. To win, narcissists will go to any lengths to make you feel bad.
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Because that is their way of being. It’s precisely, exactly how they operate, in order to obtain their goal of fuel, superiority and control.
If they came with an instruction book, or if they were an ad on TV, the fine print would say....
WARNING! Repeated and extended exposure to the narcissist is at your own risk. Excessive and prolonged use of narcissistic interactions has been shown to cause confusion, trauma-bonding, PTSD, and, in some cases, even brainwashing. You may find Narcissists are habit forming. In lab rats, they have been known to cause panic attacks, heart attacks and cancer.
Do not expose the narcissist to extreme emotional outbursts, or you will likely be punished (by them). They are known to be easily aroused into anger, jealousy, rage and attacks of violence.
Check with a medical professional before engaging with a narcissist, to see if they are right for you. It’s always a good idea to have a physical assessment by a medical professional, prior to engaging with the Narc. Always follow your doctor’s orders.
Side effects include, and are not limited to:
Feeling crazy. Depression. Isolation. Loss of finances, your things, jobs, friends, anything of value. You may no longer enjoy things or people that you used to enjoy. Wondering if your friends still like you. Questioning why the Narcissist said what he said, and what you should have said or done differently. Ruminating… Yes, for hours, days and weeks, about the same thing, over and over.
Restlessness. Insomnia. Weight gain. Dementia, or believing you have it. Insanity. Trauma-bonding. PTSD. Change in personality. Guilt. Shame. Remorse. Being fatally flawed. Being wrong, oh-so-totally-wrong. Feeling that you’re a bad person.
Lack of ability to win an argument. Lack of logic, so they say. Over-thinking. Over-working. Feeling like a slave to the Narcissist. Feeling different than you used to be. Feeling like you don’t know who you are anymore. Feeling like no one likes you. Feeling like you should try harder. Feeling like it’s your fault. Everything.
Weight loss. Ill health. Overall feelings of lethargy. Lack of motivation. Bouts of unending crying…. over nothing. Hostility. Anger. Emotional over-reactions. Meltdowns. No interest in life.
Symptoms similar to bipolar where you’re excited and hyperactive one minute, and then depressed, the next. Rapid and major mood swings. Sleeping too much. Not sleeping enough. Nervous, anxiety. Heart palpitations. High blood pressure.
Feelings of worthlessness. Unending and unrealistic optimism because tomorrow is a new day. Living in your head. Inability to love like you used to. Feelings of inferiority.
Other symptoms which were less reported in studies include: Death.
Take the narcissist into your life only with the approval of your medical professional and seek out their advice if you experience any of the above symptoms. Having a narcissist in your life has been known to be habit-forming. If you find you cannot cope in daily life, we recommend you discontinue seeking out the narcissist, and seek medical advice.
Only you can know if the narcissist is right for you! Most people experience joy and happiness and life like no other! Ask your doctor to prescribe you a Narcissist, today, so your life can begin anew!
(I would say I’m joking and have a good laugh if this wasn’t all SO TRUE!!)
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“Why does it have to be crazy making?” I’m sorry, I chuckled just a little. I know it’s no laughing matter, as I was married to one for 30 yrs. a Covert Malignant Narc at that. I chuckled because you answered your own question. Because they are “crazy”. Let me explain.
They are crazy in the sense that everything about them is irrational. They do not make any sense when they are arguing their points. They twist and lie. Their points are invalid and they believe their own lies.
The Narc I was married to would lie so much, he started to believe the lies himself, and when talking to me privately one time before the divorce I looked in straight in the eye and said “You can stop with the bullshit and lies, I was there. I know exactly what you said, what I said and what the truth is.
There’s no one here for you to put this show on for so stop trying to convince me it happened otherwise.” He looked at me and shut his mouth. He knew he wasn’t going to convince me or make me believe his story. So he stopped. I then told him that he maybe able to gain support with his lies and half truths but with me I knew the truth and he was wasting his time.
This form of behavior on my part was the ending to our marriage as he finally realized that I was no longer going to be manipulated and fed his crap. Face to face with a Narc can be very risky as a woman. A rage can send you to the ER or worse. So do not try this.
Our daughter recently had a run with him and is now seeing first hand what I dealt with my whole marriage and although she and her sister damned me for leaving him, as they were fed all his lies, now sees exactly why you can not talk it out or save the relationship.
They take the conversation and put their spin on the events in question and no sane person can follow it. Thus making it “crazy”. The manipulation they try to use, when finally seen as such, can not compare to the rational thoughts or reason of those that aren’t NPD. Why we chose to even try to talk to them is because we are human. We try to solve the problems like we would with another rational adult.
THIS CAN NOT BE DONE BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT RATIONAL ADULTS.
You are trying to converse with a 5 yr old child in an adult body. In order to have this conversation one will either have to step up (the Narc) or step down and think like a five year old. That is the way you have to treat them, like an injured child. You know when you tell and injured child something like, “aww it’s ok.
Did the mean tricycle pitch you off and give you that big boo boo? Where is it? I’ll go beat it up cause it hurt you!” That is exactly the mentality you have to have when dealing with a grown ass adult with NPD. You must blame something else or someone else for their "boo boo" or take on the responsibility of it yourself or they will argue the issue till they are blue in the face.
Because they will never see it was their fault or that the blame is on them much less admit it. If they ever do admit to blame watch out because a true and evil Narc will on occasion do this. Why? To use it against you later, thats why. They will you it to show they are not crazy, they are not "Narcissistic".
How could they be Narcissistic and say it was their fault back when this or that happened. Its just you trying to label them and make them look like an evil monster when in fact YOU ARE THE NARCISSISTIC ONE. This has happened to me so much its unreal.
The best conversation you can have with a Narc is NONE at all. There is no reasoning with one. It's like wrestling with a pig in the mud, except the pig loves the mud.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Why-cant-I-have-a-normal-conversation-with-a-narc-Why-does-every-conversation-have-to-be-crazy-making
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One of the most difficult things in a narcissistic relationship is communication. The narcissist does not want to understand you or resolve conflict. They want to remain in control and dominate you. They want to win. They look at simple communication like a tool for power. They withhold pertinent information from you, stonewall important topics, and give very frequent and lengthy silent treatments.
This control over communication weakens the survivor’s resolve and causes great harm within a family system. Some survivors cannot do no contact and they are at the whim of narcissistic bully. To those of you “stuck” talking with them, in essence, you have to learn to detach even at the parenting level. You will be parenting alone much of the time. Imagine how much a child will be confused by a narcissist who weaponizes communication?
So it’s best to gather your strength and accept you are parenting alone. I held out hope far longer than I should have because my son is autistic. My therapist kept saying “let go of the idea of him parenting” and “you have done it alone this far”. I struggled because I couldn’t imagine someone not wanting to be emotionally involved in their children’s lives. Legally, they have parenting apps , but it must be judge ordered. These apps at least hold the the narcissistic parent accountable, but good luck trying to get them on an app that holds them accountable. Keep healing survivors.
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When you first begin learning about narcissism. You are hoping there is this moment or this understanding where things can get better and the family will heal. Sadly, this is not the case because the narcissist even knowing they are toxic will continue to treat people as objects not people.
Depending on their needs and wants at a specific time is all that makes you a part of their life. They have no real connections so they just use people and trash people in never ending patterns. It’s best to cut them lose or detach from them so much that you no longer care about their patterns of abuse.
You just basically make them a tiny portion of your life like if you have to co parent. They love their image more than anything and will do all kinds of ugly to keep you silent. Make them small but don’t be silenced to not stand up for yourself. Keep healing survivors .
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Do narcissists ever admit to being wrong or do they make excuses to cover up their mistakes?
Because in their minds, they aren’t.
They believe that they are perfect and that they do not make mistakes. I will give you a crazy but funny example of this so you can understand how disordered they are. In my first hellish marriage to the first Narcissist, he was obsessed with dating websites, as they all are. Every time he was on a dating website I could just feel it. I just knew. I can’t explain how, but when you live with a Narcissist for a long time you can start predicting their behavior.
So one day I snooped through his computer. He always deleted his history unaware that I knew how to check his hard drive. So sure enough I found his profile on a dating website. I printed it off and just waited for him to get home. By this point I was so numb to him that I wasn’t even that angry. Well, he got home and I handed him the papers AND HE STILL DENIED IT. UNBELIEVABLE.
He was holding his profile picture and his dating profile and he still would not fess up. That is when I knew he was really disordered. He was holding the proof but still trying to look me in the eyes and lie to my face about it. Same thing with the second one just with different things. The thing you have to understand is that you should not even try to understand them.
You will drive yourself crazy analyzing their crazy behavior that will NEVER IMPROVE!!!! Let me repeat that, THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE OR GET BETTER. You have to get them out of your life for good. If you don’t, they will break your spirit and ruin your life. And they will enjoy every second of it!
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The most “popular” answer to this question is always the resounding “NO” followed up by a host of all of Narcy’s mountainous transgressions concerning his deliberate and/or compulsive lying. And this pleases the masses still out for Narcy blood in the early stages of post-narpocolyptic life, or those who have been post-narcolyptic for years and still not moving forward. If thats the answer you seek, then stop here. This is not going to be what you want to hear.
If its honest truth and observation from a healed victims honest perspective that you are looking for, then read on.
Because, there comes a time guys/gals, when you have to climb out of the victim box. And no doubt, you WERE a victim. You endured some truly horrible stuff.
But its NOT the end of your story. Its only the end if you choose to stay in the victim box and remain stuck there. Inside that box, you will never be rid of the hurt, the anger, the rage, the need for retribution, the resentment… none of it.
But, you NEED to dump all of that…if you are ever going to 1)move forward and find happiness and healing and 2) truly understand narcissism because it requires logical thinking and honest retrospect…not emotional thinking from a place of hurt and anger.
By no means does this excuse away what Narcy did to you…nor does it mean you should allow Narcy (or any other toxic person into your life). You should not.
With that in mind, does that “no” really hold true all the time?
Has Narcy ever apologized to me and expressed how horrible he feels about everything he did? Yes, he has, several times. Did he genuinely mean it? Yes, I believe he did, but only in THAT moment. (We will get to that in a minute)
In the 15 years I spent with Narcy, (and because of our job we spent 24/7 together inside a confined box for weeks on end) I developed into quite the keene lie detector whenever and wherever Narcy was concerned.
I could sense the lie was coming and predict exactly what it was (almost ver batum), long before he could even form it in his head and tell it with his lips. Followed immediately by the “you are crazy” that always surfaced when I would call him out on it. I’m not psychic, it’s just “predictable” and a cycle that repeats itself over and over like a broken record.
Whether either of us liked it or not, the 15 years of our entanglement together had me further into his head, and his thought patterns, (and for far greater amount of time), than anyone else ever had been, including Narcy.
Narcy rarely ever goes too deep into his own head, at least not often enough to quantify it as a regular, albeit infrequent, “practice”. Its more like an occassional “oops” where he stumbles and falls into it more than anything closely resembling “premeditated” or “intentional”. But on occassion, usually under tremendous stress, a real and genuine moment of self-reflection does occur. And it goes something like this…
We already know, that Narcy doesn’t like who he is. He doesn’t like the things that he does either. He doesn’t know why he can’t just stop himself. This loops back around to Narcy doesn’t like himself…..he doesn’t like the things he does….why can’t he just stop himself over and over in an endless loop that picks up incredible speed and inertia (and at great internal detriment and suffering to Narcy. The longer this loop continues, the more pain he feels).
The mind, like the body, can only take so much “pain”. Its not long before the pain of this endless cycle kicks in his survival mechanism…the Mask…the false front…the superficial “Narcy” that is strong, poweful, confident, great, so great, really great, really really great….the anatomical conundrum Narcy resurfaces. With a vengeance.
But in these few brief moments on the circular mental treadmill that goes nowhere, the self-reflection is very real. And so is the apology. In these few moments, Narcy is incapable of lying and the remorse he feels is not only genuine but overwhelmingly painful.
It just isnt “sustainable”; because the self defense mechanism Narcy’s mind developed long ago to stop the pain (by creating these layers of masks upon mask) does not allow for “sustainability” of any thought or feeling that is the very source of his internal pain.
(Narcy does not have a single “mask” but layers of them, each one for its own purpose).
Narcy has to block that pain out, deny it, pound it away into utter oblivion to keep himself safe from this terrible pain. And in this process of his own mental defense, you get hurt….often badly, which is easily interpreted as intentional by you. But, in actuality, its more akin to “collateral damage” than intent…its a byproduct, if you will.
But to admit to that, to anyone, including himself, threatens to remove too great a degree of newly forned and shaky protection than what he is willing to allow. Internally he is still reeling in pain and lashes out blindly at whatever is closest, which will be you.
Much of what Narcy admits to doing to intentionally hurt you is very true, (just as we seek to intentionally hurt Narcy after he hurts us…) but not all of it is intentional. But both (intentional and collateral injury to you) occur for the same reason. Defense mechanism.
Most of us aren’t horrible people either, but when something is hurting us, we want to hurt it back…and make it hurt and suffer as much as we did. Defense mechanism. We have it too, only to a lesser or “more controlled” degree. A 5 second scroll through Quora will show how very true that is. Narcy does this, but so do we.
Its easy when we are hurt and angry and out of our minds with grief and half crazy from abuse to forget something critical about Narcy…..he did not ask to be what he is. This formed in him at a very young age. Too young.
If given a choice, he would choose to not be Narcy at all. But thats not an option is it? We cannot cure it, we cannot heal it. Neither can he. He simply has to try to live with it…which hurts a lot of people, but himself most of all. The only difference between an angel and a demon is how much pain they are in.
Its a tragedy. But given the nature of Narcissism and what sympathy and empathy bring when extended to Narcy, you cannot offer these to him either…all you can do is keep a distance, disengage where you can, hold your boundaries, and heal yourself. Because there's nothing you or anyone else can do to heal Narcy.
But you can hold some compassion in your own heart….and keep it there, and be all the better for doing so. Life for Narcy, despite all his bolstering and bragging to the contrary, is a miserable existence. And nobody actually suffers more from it than he does.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-ever-admit-to-being-wrong-or-do-they-make-excuses-to-cover-up-their-mistakes
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Best reminder to keep distance from negative people.
WHAT YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO FIGURE OUT
What you weren’t supposed to figure out. There were many things you weren’t supposed to figure out in the narcissistic relationship and certainly post relationship. The first thing you weren’t supposed to figure out is that you were with a narcissist. The second thing you weren’t supposed to figure out is that narcissism really exists. The third thing you weren’t supposed to figure out is the narcissist will never give you closure. This will have to come from you. The next thing you’ll figure out is that this will take a lot of time to heal from. Another thing you weren’t supposed to figure out is that the narcissist never loved you. They never cared about you. They don’t care about anybody but themselves.
Another thing you weren’t supposed to figure out is that not everybody is who they appear to be or who they claim to be. Another thing you weren’t supposed to figure out is that people that you thought were your friends would disappear once you hit tough times. And the last thing you weren’t supposed to figure out is that you ARE stronger than you know you are an amazing human being. You are resilient. You are full of courage, fortitude, strength, commitment and honor. Sending positive energy and strength.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPpJe0_L_EQ
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Threatening to cheat and disappearing are a deadly combination to your mental health.
The Dirty & Disgusting Scare Tactics of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRhERwkUAj0
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Say Goodbye to Toxicity: The Courage to Stand Up to a Narcissist!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gHB5BcdCRU
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Why Narcissists Stuck
in Toxic Patterns!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV8MYjwBncA
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5 Signs to Spot a Narcissist
in Conversation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhnzWMItW7w
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Please keep learning about narcissists, they may have adult jobs , adult money and even adult power. But they are what is called in psychology “emotionally arrested” therefore their emotional empathy is variable to none and can easily harm another without guilt or remorse. You can NOT love their disorder away. No amount of time or patience will fix things and you will not get reciprocation in love and respect. They will use you up until you are a shell of your former self. Leave. Run. Love them from afar, but get away from them so you can love and live with all your beautiful traits intact. Keep healing.
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What happens when a narcissist sees that he can't destroy you?
When a narcissist sees they can’t destroy you, they'll usually move on to someone else to mess with.
If they see they are destroying you, which is their main goal, it makes them feel really good. So when that doesn’t happen, they move on.
But you don't get away easily because narcissists hate losing.
They will keep badmouthing you, which they've been doing from the start without you knowing, making you look crazy and saying that's why they're leaving you.
They will try to turn everyone against you. They won’t stop; they will try to destroy you behind your back and get their satisfaction that way.
Some even call your job trying to get you fired. They really stop at nothing.
They use all sorts of tricks to get to you.
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I can assure you that a narcissist WILL NEVER STOP trying to take you to suicide.
They may hate you today but one day tomorrow, they will always hoover.
What does this show?
A narcissist will keep on trying to destroy you.
So kindly do not ever under estimate what they can and what they cannot destroy. It is us VICTIMS that must take the power back forever and MAKE SURE THE POWER STAYS WITH US.
Until the day I die, I will never say a narcissist will not destroy my spirit. What I can definitely promise is that :
I will always strive to obey God’s law and stay within God’s unique refuge.
I have learnt to adopt a special filter so that no narcissist can penetrate my shell.
I strive to live a life focused on being more aware as to what happens in my environment.
But I do not want to ever feel over confident. As that will mean I am not protecting myself enough.
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Overt, covert, pervert, whatever flavor they happen to be, they will find you frustrating. Because them not being able to break you, almost certainly means you have denied them in some way, they will also be angry.
Some will become more aggressive in an attempt to intimidate and over power your annoyingly indifferent disposition.
Some of them will be made of pure chicken shite, and go around behind your back and smear you, try to break you through your friends, family, work and so on.
My favorite kind are the ones who find out the hard way, that not only can they not break you, but that you have looked upon them with discerning eyes, and now hold a knife to the neck of their emotional regulation and self esteem.
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When they haven't succeeded in destroying you, they will most definitely be upset at you.
This will lead them to going after your character. Most narcissist won't just stop there either. If they can't destroy your character they will try to destroy what's most precious to you, or something you've worked hard to attain.
They will be enraged and of course come back to finish the job.
They will start by trying to come back into your life as a friendly face, like nothing they did before even happened. Another way they will show up is as if they are trying to help you. If you have children with them, they will show up just to see you and pretend to care about their children. Most of the times they're just there to counter parent and open old wounds in the children, making it harder to parent.
They are very good at showing up as everything you want to see and hear for that moment in time. Do not fall for any of it because this is when they will finish you in any way they see will hurt you the most.
Their goal is to make sure you can't get back up or that it is much harder to get back up. Narcissist love to see you struggling, sad and hurting so don't give them anymore attempts to watch you do so.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-happens-when-a-narcissist-see-that-he-cant-destroy-you
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Why do narcissists destroy the other person's confidence?
The narcissist cannot live in reality; their grandiose self-image is exposed as hateful and petty in the cold light of day.
In order to suspend their disbelief, the narcissist requires you suspend judgement, and they do this by sabotaging your mental apparatus.
You will very quickly learn to lie lest you rouse the anger of your new and oh so special friend — you can't afford to let this one get away on you. Bribing you with less and less frequent presentations of your Special Friend (your Favourite Person), the narcissist ensures you will reflect back to them their majesty, magnificence, splendour.
You trick the narcissist into believing that you admire them; the narcissist has you believing they really care.
A couple of old con artists.
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I’m going to go with a potentially very unpopular answer here:
Chances are, if you have fallen for someone with NPD, you already had low-self esteem to begin with - at least in the relationship area.
OR
You are a prime target because you can offer status through money, looks or prestige of some kind while also being a less than stellar judge of character. (Celebrities with everything going for them also fall for predators.)
It takes time to become a decent judge of character. It takes time and experience to gain wisdom. Many of us didn’t grow up in secure families who modeled what a healthy relationship should look like. Consequently, we weren’t good judges of character.
I’m not saying it’s your fault. We are the product of our programming and upbringing. Every person I know who fell for an abuser had people close to them telling them to stay away.
Of course, there are exceptions. Of course, I haven’t met every single narcissist or victim. I’m merely speaking of my own experience and those I have come across during interviews or in my immediate environment.
Narcs love-bomb to suck their victims into a relationship fast. Secure people and/or people who are a good judge of character don't fall for love-bombing. Too much, too soon is an immediate red flag. They sense that the attention is not coming from a good place.
An insecure person will fall for shallow compliments. They might believe that “Wow! someone finally sees how special I am!” Love-bombing is their version of “true love”.
If someone secure took interest in them, they would claim that the person is too boring and there is no chemistry - because they are used to the intensity of love-bombing. Love-bombing = love. To a secure person who is a good judge of character, love-bombing is creepy as hell.
A secure person who is a good judge of character will immediately take a step back as they’ll see through this as a manipulative technique.
If your self-esteem was low to start with before the love-bombing phase, it will plummet to never before seen lows during the devalue and discard phases.
This is because many insecure people try to get their self-worth from outside sources, mainly relationships.
They are the perfect instrument for a malignant narcissist to feed on. The insecurity and low self esteem are already there.
The narcissist instinctively knows which buttons to push because the person will do anything to get back to the idealization phase. They believe that the narc is deep down a good person because they saw it during the idealization phase, not realizing that that was a mask.
If you are very young, inexperienced, and you don’t know any better, you may fall for manipulation and gaslighting, which will tear your otherwise normal self-esteem down. This could happen if you were never abused before and you just don’t know what hit you.
The “ideal” target is someone who already has low self esteem and is a poor judge of character (too trusting, too empathetic, no or low boundaries), but anyone can get tangled up in the spider’s web. Narcissists as well as their victims are on a scale when it comes to strengths and weaknesses.
In the end we are all subconsciously reenacting our programing. We cannot change what we are unconscious of, and there lies the problem.
Becoming self-aware of our patterns as well as weaknesses is the most empowering thing we can do. Having a weakness is not the same as being weak. Becoming aware of your weaknesses is a hell of a strength, one that is life changing.
The non-self-aware narc is also reenacting their programming, causing havoc, oftentimes believing themselves to be the victim.
An empathetic person does their thing trying to please the narc and rescue the relationship. Being too empathetic is a weakness when it comes to dealing with a narc.
A malignant narc destroys the target’s self esteem by using their empathy against them.
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We get our confidence from our interactions. So when you believe you have built a solid relationship with a partner, your self esteem and confidence is elevating. You feel worthy of love and you believe you know your partner.
What if tomorrow morning you understand that your partner does not value you nor the relationship as much as you believed? What if you find your partner in arms of another man? It does shatter your confidence; you question your own judgement and also your worth.
A narc goes beyond your imagination to prove that you are the perfect partner they always wanted, then when you are on the peak of your confidence and your ego is boosted, they smash you on the floor. No one can experience that traumatic fall without hurting his confidence.
The only way to get your confidence back is to research and understand Narcissism enough to fully understand and feel the narcissist of your life. It is the time that you can forgive, you stop calling yourself “ a victim/ a survivor “ you accept that you are responsible for taking a mirage as a real love. Then you laugh about it and you move on.
Unfortunately because usually you invested in the relationship too much, you have so much emotions and hope in the relationship, it is very hard to get out of it. Even knowing that your partner has narcissistic personality disorder does not help, because it means she has a condition, so you should save her, right?
She might even tell you “ Do not waste your life on me, I know I have NPD, I don’t deserve you, let me go “ . You will find yourself guilty of leaving your narcissist, this is exactly what she wants. She is just manipulative. The truth is if she truly loved you, she wouldn’t ask you to leave, she would promise to receive treatment and asked for you to give her another chance.
Your ego is usually the main problem; you do not want to believe that someone that close to you was not able to value you. “ How could she do this to me?!” She could, because she does not have emotional maturity, she is like a child. Face it and move on.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-destroy-the-other-persons-confidence
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What happens if a narcissist can’t get an argument from you when they constantly try to provoke you but you always remain calm?
Narcissists take it as a challenge when they can't provoke you. Narcissists will try their best to break you down. Narcissists can become physically abusive or can become passive aggressive to create problems in your life very indirectly.
Narcissists will mess with your life and routine by creating problems. Narcissists may destroy or misplace your valuables and documents to make you angry, sad, and frustrated. Narcissists will make sure you don't live a peaceful life.
Narcissists can stop financial support or be more abusive towards kids to get your response and reaction. Narcissists will mess with food items, gadgets, etc., and the list goes on. Narcissists are very wicked and vindictive; they can go to any lengths to teach you a lesson.
Leaving narcissists is the only option you have. No response to their abusive behavior should be implemented when you are keeping distance from them. Never stay with narcissists, no matter how cool and calm you can remain.
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Here is an excerpt from my personal list for “Survival”. There are 10 items in all, but I hate to be overly verbose because I might be ignored entirely. LOL.
1. Stay Calm.
No matter what cruel, distorted, or untrue things are said and they WILL be said. Keep in mind that the calmer and quieter you remain, the louder, least logical and more pointed these words will become in an effort to get you to react. Do not take in these demeaning words.
Do NOT repeat them in any fashion. Not even to attempt to prove their inanity, as in “Okay, now we have established that I am a stupid c*nt, may we move on to the next demeaning thing you have to say about me?” It will not be recognized, except as an agreement. Do not accept that these things may be true, do not fall into despondency.
Remain cool in the face of madness. I believe it can be done. But it will be difficult.
2. Do not react.
If you do react, you will only find that you have played yourself right into the game and the onslaught will only become worse. By reacting you have made the choice to join in the negativity. This is one point where you are responsible for a part in the “game”. If needed, leave the area.
If not, sit quietly and let the negativity flow around you, not into you. Ignore it. Do not take it in. I think this is more effective – but extremely hard and exceptionally painful if you listen at all. You will frequently be accused, to the point of absurdity, of the exact thing that he is doing.
Do not get mad or try to point the fallacy out. You will be belittled about things you have not done, of comments you have not made. Or things you HAVE said and done will be twisted unbelievably.
You will be made to seem, at best, like a silly child. Or at worst, a conniving, scheming, evil creature. Do not name these things. Again, let it go around you, not into or through, you. Do not attempt to defend yourself or point out how inaccurate the statements are. Logic will not help one tiny bit. The blast of negativity WILL increase drastically in an attempt to get you to react out of anger or frustration to defend yourself.
DO NOT even try – the onslaught will only get much worse (and it is always possible to get worse!), and you might just actually say or do something that fits right in with what he is accusing you of!
I read my list every few days to remind myself how to behave, and add any new insights.
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No reaction means no fuel. They will get tired of it and move forward discarding you.
They hate neutral people. The only way that you are going to kill them deep down inside is your ability to be neutral or ignore them completely.
The personality disorder that they have is due to the parental neglect or ignorance. They received ignorance their whole life so ignoring them is like taking drugs off from a druggie. The druggie eventually will get super pissed and start to search for another Dealer.
Ignoring them is causing them a deep Narcissistic Injury basically bringing them the memories of their childhood aka degrading them or giving them a message of that they are worthless. The narcissist hates the feeling of being worthless, they constantly feel that thing everyday, so you reminding them of that thing will kill them from the inside.
If you reacted in any way cursing, swearing them or saying all the stupid stuff they would care less because that means fuel any positive or negative reaction. However if you make them feel worthless by being neutral or ignoring them, man they will get super pissed.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/What-happens-if-a-narcissist-can-t-get-an-argument-from-you-when-they-constantly-try-to-provoke-you-but-you-always-remai
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How long do narcissists use your reaction against you? Do narcissists like to see people worry?
No matter if narcissists and psychopaths are created primarily through genetics, and perhaps also a bit of conditioning from their upbringing and surroundings, all of the ones I have known were extremely jealous, vindictive, and vicious people who were envious of anyone they perceived as having it “better” than them.
From my personal experience, most of them did grow up in a less than ideal family or environment. They may have suffered, just like other people in a dysfunctional or abusive family dynamic; however, unlike other people who did a lot of soul-searching, and grew up to be generous, kind, and compassionate individuals.
NPDs and psychopaths chose to become evil and destructive. Regardless of their condition, they CHOSE to abuse others who never did anything to them, and only tried to love them.
If the NPD or psychopath believes you are even a little better than they are, or had life easier than they did, you will be chosen to be their victim. They don’t always pick their supply indiscriminately. They have a mission to destroy people who can be beacons of light and hope to the world. They hate anything that has potential, because they have none.
I do not simply believe they always hop from one supply to another, no, they try to destroy the best, and then move on to someone more mediocre when they can’t get someone as good as their last supply anymore. I know this because I have observed this behaviour in various individuals with NPD and psychopathic or antisocial traits.
They always go after those who have more than they do, that is also why they try to take away from you, and leave you without very little or nothing at all. Their goal is to completely destroy you.
After my last expeience with a psychopath or malignant narcissist, he thought it was funny when I took down my websites with my artwork on them. At the time, I was in a very dark place because of the abuse he put me through, as well as financial abuse. He actually thought it was hilarious that I didn’t have the energy to maintain my art website anymore.
Since then I have started doing art again, and I went back to school, so he didn’t “win” in the end. Instead, he ran off with another supply, someone with nothing to really offer except that she has an AA “degree” in some type of respiratory therapy.
A two year certificate. The only thing he wanted from her was money supply. So I know for a fact that they do choose supplies for different reasons, and if they envy you for being more talented or having advantages they believe are unfair, you will he targeted.
They have a “beef” with the world, and thus are here to try and destroy and steal from anyone who makes them uncomfortable, even in the least. They think it’s their right to destroy innocent people too, simply because they can’t be as good as they are, or because they think their own life was harder.
Having no self-insight, the NPD or psychopath also doesn’t consider that people who seem to be “better” may have also had hardships in their own lives, and overcame them. For example, I grew up with an NPD parent. Instead of sympathising with you, the abuser will recreate this abuse when they find out about your upbringing, just to rub salt in your wounds. Their goal is TOTAL DESTRUCTION of the target.
They are completely evil. Stay away from them and keep them blocked forever.
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Narcissists will keep using your reactions against you as long as you keep giving them your reactions. They love to see you worry, or get riled up, agitated, sad, or miserable. They secretly hate you, and it elevates them when you’re down.
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Yes. In itself is the control they seek but rarely have. If they can’t control themselves and their emotions, people are the next best thing. The submission of another person fuels their ego. This is not the only thing to fuel their desire for control though. Love bombing is a form of getting off on control.
Gaslighting is them getting off on a form of controlling you. Lying is them getting off on controlling you. How and why? It keeps you in a constant states of confusion and denial and self loathing meant to form an unhealthy attachment to their actions.
https://www.quora.com/How-long-do-narcissists-use-your-reaction-against-you-Do-narcissists-like-to-see-people-worry
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Narcissists fear exposure and have created enough self- doubt in the target/survivor to keep them from exposing the narcissist. Survivors heal when they speak up for themselves, take care of themselves, and change family dynamics to meet their healing instead of the abuse.
Many families resist change when the target/survivor stands up to the abuse and there will be a time when some side with the abuser. This is not a reason to go back to abuse . You will find out who really has your back. The narcissist needs to tear you down so that you don’t expose their abuse, Let them. This validates you being abused.
A healthy person recognizes they hurt you and stops. They just stop without using guilt to shame you as a person. It’s ironic they will accuse you of being a liar with it was them gaslighting your reality to keep you from exposing their relational abuse. Heal anyway.
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:t2:
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How do I manage a tantrum from a narcissist?
Let go 100% of trying to communicate. Understand FULLY that nothing you say can help. Remain CALM. Don’t even sigh or make a face. Pretend that he is a crazy person on the street corner yelling at pigeons. I say that because while he gives you the illusion that he can be reasoned with, you cannot reason with him any more than you can reason with the pigeon man. Do not try.
Remember the Al-Anon acronym NO JADE. No justifying, arguing, defending or explaining. Do not engage. Do not try to communicate. Say things like “I’m sorry you feel like that” and “I’ll have to do better at that” and “You may have a point” and “You’re entitled to your opinion” or my personal favorite “Okay”.
These statements acknowledge that something was said, but provide no resistance. The narcissist is looking for resistance. The resistance you provide is like increasing the gear in your car. It gives him more leverage and more power. Keep things in first gear by not resisting. Remain calm. Do not argue. Nod your head and don’t react emotionally. He may wind himself up into a tizzy, but you don’t have to join him.
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A narcissist that throws a tantrum is likely looking for attention or is possibly just trying to get a reaction from you.
Either way, it is best to not feed into this manipulation because it will only lead you to become frustrated or feeling inferior. Anyone that has experienced the manipulation of a narcissist understands exactly how tough it can be to simply walk away. You will be tempted to react, thereby giving them exactly what they were seeking, and isn’t that just as frustrating?
So, as tough as it may be, you need to force yourself to breathe and walk away. You might need to even talk yourself through the process. While many will tell you to go no contact with a narcissist, this must be a decision that you must make on your own and one that you have to live with.
You should not do this unless you are sure, otherwise returning to them will only give them additional power. For me, I chose to against going no contact because the narcissist was my aging mother and in the end, I chose to be there for her because I loved her and it was the right thing for ME to do.
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Remain calm and observant. Do not engage with the tantrum. If there is any danger of it turning physically dangerous, leave immediately. Otherwise, don’t engage with it.
This is hard, but instead of listening to whatever the content of the rage is, ignore that, and instead be curious and observant about the tantrum. Pretend you are studying a phenomenon you have never seen before and you have to turn in a term paper about it for school next week. What kinds of questions would you think to yourself while you’re observing this? They might include thoughts or questions like:
Wow, he’s really, really pissed off all of a sudden, but at what?
That reaction is out of proportion to what led up to it, I wonder what it means to him that he’d react this way.
I must have misunderstood and done something unintentional to have caused this reaction, but I wonder what it was.
When he calms down, I am going to have to set some rules about how we are going to work this out.
He really is angry, but I don’t know at what. I guess I could at least acknowledge that he’s angry, after he calms down, and let him know I didn’t intend to do that.
Just observe it and be curious about it.
Don’t engage with it until the storm has passed and settled down.
This is the 5 year old in the adult body that you’re seeing during the rage. Keep that in mind. He’s too old and too big to set him in his playpen, so all you can do is wait for him to tire himself out. He’s going to yell and throw a fit and say all kinds of mean and hurtful things about you, just as a 5 year old would.
And it means just about as much as it does when a 5 year old does the same thing. It hurts more because as a grown-up, he can use big-boy words to hurt and sting and he knows where those parts are that hurt you the most. But he’s a 5 year old, and his tantrum is the same thing.
Think of how you would handle a 5 year old throwing a fit. “I’ll give you a cookie but only if you settle down and behave. But until you settle down and behave, I’m going to ignore you.” You have to translate that into whatever he understands as an adult now, and then you have to stick with it and tough it out.
It’s not easy. It’s hard. Really hard. It goes against every instinct in your body. But you don’t engage with a tantrum; you wait it out.
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There is no “win”. It’s a kid acting like a butthole to get what they want, alleviate suffering, or just to have an excuse to do terrible things.
I say just walk away (if possible). If it’s someone you have to interact with, you have a few “choices”....
Submit. I don’t recommend it but sometimes it’s worth it.. choose your battles wisely.
Fight. This is the most dangerous option because narcissists HATE to lose - they may scorch the earth just to ensure they “win”.
Flight. Ego or circumstance may inhibit this, but it’s always the best route. Why fight with a child?
Regarding #1, abuse only gets worse.
Regarding #2, beware of narcissist injury. The tantrum is already rage; provoking that further could be pouring gasoline on the fire.
As far as how to “handle” it, well, here’s the thing... you can break your narcissist. Above all, narcissists care about how they are perceived. When they really value someone else’s perception of them (which is someone not close to them, but important to them), highlighting their behavior to that magical party is great.
They get to see what they did was wrong. They get to feel the consequences of their actions. They learn, because exposure causes them great shame.
It has to be severe. It has to be someone they respect (or want to be seen as valued by). For me, I called out my dad in front of his favorite contractor. I didn’t do it directly - I said “You know, I just hate seeing a grown man throw a fit.”.
It was in reference to my fathers bad temper - something I dealt with every day working “beside” him. That one little comment - not naming names, allowing him to save face - yet knowing it was about him by both the contractor and himself, changed his behavior. He hasn’t thrown another tantrum since!
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If you’re trying to keep the peace (or just your own peace of mind), here’s what to never say to a narcissist.
"I wouldn't have done it that way"
Even if you’re using this as a preface to constructive criticism, a narcissist will only hear that they didn’t do something right and you could do it better—“and that threatens their sense of self-esteem twice,” says Durvasula. “Anything that smacks of criticism and also lifts someone else into a positive light is intolerable to them.”
"You’re wrong"
Narcissists do not do well with head-on confrontation, says Durvasula. And since they’re bullies at heart, “they’re scrappier and dirtier fighters than most of us,” she warns. This doesn’t mean that you have to hold your tongue. Instead, try a gentler tack, such as, "I hear you, but I see it a little differently...."
"What's the matter with you?"
Ask the question as much as you want in your head, but resist the urge to blurt it out. “Narcissists have fragile self-esteem and never like being viewed as ‘less than,’ even though that’s how they leave everyone else feeling,” says Durvasula. (And let’s be honest—asking this of anyone will put them on the defensive.)
"But you never ____"
“But you never saw that movie.” “Uh, you were never at that party, remember?” While it seems normal, even necessary, to call someone out for spinning the truth, resist the urge to directly accuse a narcissist of not getting something right—especially when others are around.
"That’s not true"
“Because narcissists are preoccupied with maintaining an inflated sense of self, they’re constantly on guard against anything that might deflate them,” explains Joseph Burgo, PhD, a psychotherapist and author of The Narcissist You Know: Defending Yourself Against Extreme Narcissists in an All-About-Me World. “Narcissists don’t care about the truth,” says Burgo. “The only thing that matters to them is ‘winning.’”
So how should you deal with a narcissist?
No matter how lightly you tread, keep in mind that it won’t make a difference. “Narcissists rarely change,” says Durvasula. “Narcissism is a lifelong personality trait and generally gets worse with age.”
For your own sanity, distance yourself and manage your expectations. In other words, “stop waiting for empathy that will never come, for respect they will never offer, for consideration and compromise they will never bring,” Durvasula says. “We break our hearts and spirits in these relationships because we keep holding out hope for a ‘someday better.’ It's not coming and you can waste your life, mental health, and career waiting for it to happen. “
If cutting ties with a narcissist in your life isn’t possible, be clear in your communication, put things in writing to protect yourself down the road, and “expect that things will still be used against you,” warns Durvasula.
Then foster other, healthy relationships with friends, family, and co-workers who can support you.
https://relationshippsychology1.quora.com/How-to-manage-a-tantrum-from-a-narcissist
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:sam2gun:
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Does a narcissist discarding you mean they no longer
love you?
Narcissists discard you when they no longer need you. Narcissists don't have the capacity to love a person, and they don't have the capacity to feel love. Narcissists have feelings only for themselves. Narcissists were in relationships with you just to use and abuse you. Narcissists never had feelings for you before a relationship, during a relationship, after a discard, or during hoovering.
For narcissists, relationships are transactional. When they no longer need you, they will replace you with someone who doesn't know their lies and manipulation.
Narcissists are selfish people; when they need you, they will come back soon to use you. If narcissists had the capacity to love, then they would have never discarded you. Narcissists discard blessings in disguise because they are getting rid of the devil.
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“Does a narcissist discarding you mean they no longer love you?”
Narcissists are NOT able to love anyone. Not their family, not their kids, and not themselves.
Please save yourself the heartache (and research) You are expecting an emotionally arrested child to “love” when they have no idea what that involves.
Taking and giving nothing in return is all they are capable of.
A narcissist requires (and searches) for an unhealthy parent. It's a sick dynamic. Don't enable them.
I know it seems personal, abuse always is. However, the behaviour is the same for EVERYONE.
You have (likely) challenged them for their never ending bullshi* drama cycle. They have realised they can't use you anymore.
I can't empathise this enough…
You won. Congratulations 👏!
Give your heart (and time) to someone that can reciprocate.
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Oh I've heard that one before a few times. “Meh, I just ain't into you anymore “. Sounds familiar?
Does it matter if it may or may not be the final discard? No, it doesn't. Know that. If they come back to you? It's not because they miss you. Not because “you're the one”, not because you're much better/more awesome/sexy/smart/etc. They are ruthless liars, incredible actors. Tony Award winning stuff. It is never ever ever EVER going to be sincere. EVER!!! And dammit, I know, dammit anyway. Ya had so much fun at first!!!
You're so much better off being alone than with one of these characters. I can promise you this. They will continue to do this over and over until they either die or get too sick or old to do it very well, but they will what? Never stop. No, they won't.
You are not special… you are only supply. No one can have a meaningful relationship with a narcissist. Not you. Not me. Not the others reading this. You either accept being used or you walk away. Your choice.
https://thedarkworldofnarcissistbysevinc.quora.com/Does-a-narcissist-discarding-you-mean-they-no-longer-love-you
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Why are narcissistic individuals reluctant to accept differing opinions or feedback from you?
A different opinion means that their opinion is wrong.
There should only be one opinion and that's the opinion of the bestest person in the whole wide world.
The narcissist.
If your opinion is different from theirs then they are wrong and it's an injury.
They will have temper tantrums, mock, ridicule and insult you until you agree that the opinion of a deranged, broken, nonsensical, damaged, pathetic, sadistic, perverted, goat shagging, dog sucking sack of human excrement is in fact a genius and surely can never be wrong.
Who wants to go through life without the wisdom of a toddler in their ear?
Their wisdom can keep the tumours of ear cancer company from their sweet little nothings.
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Because they have a prewritten narrative in their heads that most likely doesn’t align with any facts.
It’s designed to suit their agenda and needs only. At first it goes something along these lines, you’re perfect and every moment with you will be perfect bliss. Then there's the moment when you make a mistake or they perceive that you made a mistake and that's when they devalue you and you now are seen as all bad and entitled to only their wrath.
These two scenarios leave no room for facts or discussion and they cannot have anything interfering with their false narrative. They actually get even more vindictive if you point out inaccuracies in their false narrative and they rain down fire and brimstone on you if you are their victim in the devalue or discard stage pointing to them having flaws too! They can’t take a lowly dog like you critiquing their way of being!
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Unfortunately, Narcissists see people who have a different opinions or even like something different as a threat.
By you having a different opinion the narcissist thinks “You think I'm (the narcissist) wrong. You're criticizing me. You're out to get me.” I know this sounds crazy, but Narcissists see things very different than we do. They are always stuck in defensive mode. And they really don't know what to do with someone who is thinks & acts differently than they do.
Narcissists are very tunnel vision. Plus, Narcissists have so much Grandiosity that they can't admit that they are flawed like the rest of us because that would mean that they're not Superior and they have to believe this because of their “False-Self.”
They also see you giving them feedback as criticizing and judging them. They are very thin skinned!
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They're never going to accept anything from you, because they're never wrong and you're never right.
There's nothing else left to say. They always have to up you and put you down. To them your advice or your opinion is worthless. In their mind you are trying to sabotage their every move and you don't think highly about them and you do not value their opinion.
So if you say YES, they believe NO should be the answer. And if you do happen to agree with their answer they will boast that they thought of it first and it was their answer, not yours. Take a hammer and hit your thumb as hard as you can, there will be less pain than dealing with a narcissist.
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They think they are right.
They can not tolerate criticism.
They are determined to get what they want at any cost.
They are very manipulative.
They are jealous.
Be careful not to make them angry. Just walk away.
You never win with a narcissist.
Some will kill you rather than lose you.
Make others aware of your fears but don’t let the narcissist know.
They may have already tried to isolate you from friends and family.
If this has already happened and you are isolated and in fear, let someone know.
Whenever a narcissist appears to show empathy it is a simply a cognitive awareness; an intellectual function and a mirroring in order to properly mask Their real feelings.
This can be very serious. If you are afraid, wait for the right opportunity and get out. But be very careful.
National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 800-799-7233
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Because the inherent condition of narcissism is infrared ego and grandiose sense of self all telling the self that their own opinions are superior and based in logic and reason that some others around them are just too daft to truly understand.
The brain convinces them that accepting differing opinions or feedback is wasting time, being sloppy - as why would you replace superior with inferior (as they see it), and even misleading as why would they seek other opinions only to not use them anyway?
It not just narcissism. The human brain is remarkably adept at filling in the gaps and convincing itself it is effective in its processing of information. Think about something like optical illusions, failed witness testimony, or polarized political views. Seeking and truly hearing, considering, and especially incorporating or adopting differing opinions is a discipline that many simply don’t (or can’t?) develop.
Consider also that not everyone shares the same values. It might be obvious to *you* that *I* would benefit by having friendships in me life, but my experience simply tells me differently. So combine 1) my brain telling me I’m right, 2) my brain telling me you’re wrong, 3) me wanting to be right and maybe even prove you wrong, and 4) me just wanting different things than *you*, and maybe *you* can start to accept differing opinions as suggested by me.
When *you* “accept differing opinions or feedback from [others]”, or you are honest with yourself, isn’t part of the motivation one of relationship building and building the other up? Can you maybe see why this would be more a demotivator to someone with high ego and grandiose sense of self, especially to the level of an actual disorder?
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Say no to the narcissist, see what happens…
Narcissists need you to be agreeable with them. Even if they are clearly in the wrong, being naive and badly informed, but that does not exist, for they are right and you are wrong.
And you best not dare challenge them, that's part of the deal, remember?
No, you don't remember?
Oops, maybe you didn't read the fine print, oh well, you're bound by the contract now.
Your disagreement, you saying "no", is a deadly strike towards the narcissists outer shell of composure, concealing that which resides within.
When you say no, when you disagree, you remove their outer shield of friendly normality, unleashing the beast from within.
As their blood boils...
As their grandiose ego nosedives...
Time for your punishment, no more Mr. Nice Narc, you have forced their mask to drop, sweet revenge time now.
You yanked their mask right off, it's your fault.
YOUR FAULT!
But, there is a valid lesson there, must you never forget.
Wanna figure out who you are dealing with?
Just say "no" to them, perhaps a couple of times.
DISAGREE WITH THEM!
Even if you don't mean it, it's to witness their reaction.
If they can't take "no", if they can't accept not being right, best cut your losses earlier than later.
A bit of short term pain for long term relief, doesn't sound like a bad deal.
https://www.quora.com/Why-are-narcissistic-individuals-reluctant-to-accept-differing-opinions-or-feedback-from-you
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How long can a narcissist pretend to be genuine?
They’re not pretending. They’re acting in a way that seems fake to a normal person, but they’re not actually faking. They act differently depending on the situation.
For example, a narcissist might see themselves as:
Helpful
Kind
Considerate
Like Dr. Jekyll
But people who know them well might see them as:
Passive-aggressive
Cruel
Inconsiderate
Like Mr. Hyde
The narcissist believes they are the "good" version all the time. During the idealization phase, they fool people by acting nice, but in the devaluation phase, their true nature shows. This is how their victims see it.
However, from the narcissist's point of view, they think they’re always being who they are. They’re not pretending to be kind—they believe they are kind, even though their actions are cruel. If you asked them, "Why were you kind before, but now you're cruel?" they would deny it and blame you instead, justifying their behavior.
The key point is that they’re not pretending to be kind while secretly being cruel—they actually believe they’re being kind, even though they’re being cruel. To fake something, you have to know you’re not that thing, but narcissists believe they really are what they seem to be pretending to be.
During the idealization phase, they are just as abusive as in the devaluation phase, but their behavior is more pleasant, so people believe the lie that they’re kind. In reality, their cruelty is always there—it’s a part of their character, whether they're love-bombing you or treating you badly in the devaluation phase.
Narcissists go through the idealization phase every day with new people they meet or with superficial friends (like on social media). They appear to be genuine with these people, but once they reach the devaluation phase with someone, they stop seeming genuine.
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In the way you probably mean, a few months to a few years. As others may have stated, it’s not pretending. They do not think like we do, so it’s more a delusion than a con. They believe they’re being genuine.
What determines how long they can do it is the overall complexity of what they say or do. The more complicated and the more various people involved, the greater odds are that one or more of the people will notice something off, and figure what’s going on. Once that happens, everyone finds out the reality of it, whether through gossip or direct evidence, or explosive, volatile confrontation.
Most people know and use the word narcissist. A lot of people don’t seem to bring up the ‘personality disorder’ part of the classification. That’s key to understanding why this isn’t pretend. They’re not really being less than genuine. Our perceptions and theirs do not meet in the middle.
If you can deal with this, lovely. You’re a saint.
If you can’t, please get out before long. The stress and emotional fatigue of being ‘worn down’ by someone in these circumstances can prove very unhealthy to you.
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It depends on any kind of patience that they have. Some can go on and on and on but sooner or later the evil pops out. But even so if it pops out some of us don't see it right away. It took me seven and a half years before I figured it out. I have an IQ of 145 so I'm not stupid I just didn't see it.
You can be that much in love and be blinded . So if you feel something is not quite right, run as fast as you can. It's not a joke. Ask just about anyone on this site and they will back me up 100 percent. Good luck and I mean it.
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During the idealization phase of a relationship, narcissists tend to be genuine. It is at that time they are apt to be enjoying the euphoric feelings that infatuation generates.
I believe that during love bombing campaign and devaluation phase, narcissists are prone to be disingenuous.
During the love bombing campaign, narcissists need to hook you such that you will fall in intimate love ASAP.
They will feign loving you at that time as they can not afford to drive you off. This is particularly true if they have yet to secure and groom your replacement.
When narcissists come to feel that you let them down, and they have yet to secure your replacement, they will have no choice but to stave off launching any devaluation attacks because there is nothing narcissists despise more than an imminent attention provision gap.
They will feign relative kindness and inhibit themselves from inadvertently doing something harsh that would signal the commencement of the devaluation phase festivities.
You will nonetheless likely notice that although your narcissist relationship partners are giving you a kind-treatment reprieve, you will start noticing that, seemingly out of the blue, your narcissist relationship partners will just up and vanish.
When they return, they will act as if they never left. If you ask them what they were up to, they will not discuss the matter.
Should you continue to prod them, they will still not tell you anything, and, for good measure, they will subject you to a ferocious rage attack.
They will have attacked you because they have no interest in letting it be known that when they are away, they are engaging secure and groom maneuvers with the New Supply who in short order will be replacing you.
https://www.quora.com/How-long-can-a-narcissist-pretend-to-be-genuine
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Narcs are stray alley cats.
Why Most Narcissists Hate Staying Home
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRZ2xspCxw8
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They say they don't have respect for you,
and use that as an excuse to do all the horrible
things that they do.
How Narcissists Use Projection to Tell on Themselves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lUUThgIjX0c
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One of their main tools is the cell phone.
They use it to build up their harem garage.
The Tools of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZJhUodCDuc
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Working so hard to present a false picture but their projections reveals everything about them.
Not smart.
The Narcissist's Intolerant Small Self
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5psoyVQ8JKs
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Mistakes are an opportunity to learn. A "mistake " repeated is a choice.
5 Signs God is Showing YOU ARE A NARCISSIST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5URxO11Hms
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It hard for you. You won't win - you just have to walk away. Your heart will always be broken. How sad that they can be so cruel and get away with it.
What Happens When You Challenge a Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrzMJCvgJaA
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They want the most by giving the bare minimum.
Most Narcissists are Flat Out Lazy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0a76RjV0tQ
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Narcs are truly nuts and try labeling us as nuts.
Why Narcissists Hate Truth Tellers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96f_c1yT6pI
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Trusting and believing someone that pretends to love us doesn't make us stupid, nor does it make them clever or smart. It makes them sick and cruel.
Is the Narcissist Smarter than You?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0ReN-Yb-6U
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Narcissists crave relevance. It baffles them when they're irrelevant to you.
How To Baffle A Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOkwThUXtRU&t=87s
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They hate your happiness! They hate your success, talents, physique, independence, confidence, strength; your intelligence. EVERYTHING THAT IS YOURS.
6 Reasons Why the Covert Narcissist Hates You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ds545hWjr3E
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They have plenty of supply out there so just do YOU. Heal and NEVER look back. It's always about Supply, that's it.
This is When a Narcissist Realizes What They Lost
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cywXr7aTrXg
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They play mind games! They have no credibility. They hate to be exposed. Narcissists are psychotic. They're not nice people.
When The Narcissist Knows that You Know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1R77oVHegk
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It's called conditioning. If you're unfortunate enough to have narcissistic parents, that conditioning will be there from a young age, and it usually comes in double, with the father being the violent one and the mother always being the poor little thing. And that's why this is the worst case of narcissistic abuse there is, because the child has no way of defending themselves, making it clear that the others are horrible too.
5 Secret Ways Narcissists Train You
to Be Their Puppet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJnxV7Kk-tE
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They always look for the best even though they are the worst. They literally just use anybody for supply. It’s insane. The first person who will give them attention. They are cowards.
Signs a Narcissist is Done With You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqThRNyphnQ
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They're only pretending to be in the relationship by breadcrumbing, gaslighting and devaluing you. It's really a relation-sh!t. The narc is NEVER ALL IN.
They're f*cking abusive. I can't stand these people.
Why Covert Narcissists Run Hot & Cold
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwhFRI8Sj6o
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Their mindset is so depressing. They cant even grasp the fact that someone actually loves them. These folks have NO conscience. They're DEPRAVED. Only expect the worst.
Why Can’t a Narcissist Just Be Honest?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtLt54DoV84
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Schools don't want the kids and teens to learn about emotional abuse. The School System is narcissistic. It is premeditated, calculated and intentional.
The Greatest Realization After Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npQ4W76c78w
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Just because you are related to the abuser doesn't excuse the abuse. Being abused by anyone is unacceptable. It's amazing how much victim-blaming occurs, instead of blaming toxic abusers. Society is so upside-down.
Never Say THIS To
A Victim of
Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8-fKhFpfXI
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The narcissist is not the determiner of the truth. Along with depression, long-term narcissistic abuse can cause immune issues and other serious health issues. It’s sad that you have to choose between your health and a relationship.
The Long Term Impact Of Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLIWJ17UNZw
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Like Christ is quoted to have said, " A Wolf in sheep's clothing", and " False Prophets''!
A Narcissist is an Undercover Fascist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMvtHKZaHx0
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Being with a narcissist is like Hell on Earth. Literally like being with a demon.
WHY THE PAST HAUNTS THE NARCISSIST
Why the past haunts the narcissist. The narcissist has destroyed so many relationships and broken so many hearts that the past does come back to haunt the narcissist. The narcissist cannot escape a few things. One is Father Time..the truth..and three that they are a toxic person.
The narcissist acts like everything is puppies and rainbows, and that they’re living their best life when they went off with a new supply. What the narcissist doesn’t realize is that more and more people are becoming awakened and educated. The narcissist can run, but they can’t hide. The ghosts and the demons in their mind will come back to haunt them not only tonight but in future nights going forward.
You see you can’t abuse people without there being a big price to pay without a consequence to experience.. and this is why the narcissist will meet reality eventually.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEQ7FYCLbGk
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Do narcissists know when they have gone too far?
Yes, this is part of their game. They know when they’ve crossed a line, then sit back and wait to see how you’ll react. If you’ve had enough and try to break up, they’ll quickly try to win you back.
That’s part of the thrill for them—the ability to manipulate you again and pull you back in. Once they succeed, they will “punish” you for trying to leave in the first place. It’s a nasty cycle of mind games meant to keep you under their control.
All relationships with narcissists are unbalanced. One person is always in control, calling the shots, while the other is stuck beneath them. When do narcissists realize they’ve lost control? It happens when the victim starts to fight back.
As the victim grows stronger and takes responsibility for their own life, they become more confident about moving on. When the victim begins to pull away for good, the narcissist knows they’ve lost control.
The narcissist can’t understand why this is happening and can’t deal with losing the attention and control they once had. As the victim regains their sense of self, the roles start to switch.
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All relationships with narcissists are asymmetrical in their dynamic structure. One of the two of you is on the lower tier of this dynamic. The one in control and calling all the shots is the guy/girl on top. When do narcissists realize the gig is up? When the power dynamic shifts and the victim starts to rebel, the narcissist will feel the imbalance and panic.
Depending on the victim’s resources, sustaining the efforts toward personal responsibility will begin to embolden the victim to move on. Beginning with the first sustained withdrawal, the narcissist knows he/she has lost control. Without much intellectual depth and unable to process the significance of their contribution to your withdrawal, the narcissist is left to stew in the juices of his unrequited loss of narcissistic supply.
No longer alienated from her own identity, the victim and the victimizer start to exchange roles. The moment when the victim no longer tolerates the peculiarities of a one dimensional relationship, is when the abuser begins to face the reality of his own insignificance. In the absence of a victim to manipulate, the perpetrator is left to bare the brunt of his own pain.
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Yes, they know. If they have pushed you too far you will leave, and stay away. You will be clear and certain, and give no hint of vulnerability, so they know. If nothing else narcissists are good at reading body language. Any hint, any little crack, will be used and exposed to the limit, but if there are none, they know.
What I did, after many false dawns, was tell him categorically it was over. I had done that before, so that was not enough. So I told his flying monkeys, and they fed it back to him that I was serious- a first. Then I told all mutual acquaintances and friends that he was not to be mentioned in my presence, and they were never to discuss me with him (the pre internet equivalent of blocking all contact).
Result- communications blackout and message received loud and clear. No hoovers, no contact at all, ever, and I was the better for it. By all accounts he was beyond furious- part of the fun for them is messing with your head after, and I had deprived him of that. Feel free to do your own variation of that, it was very effective.
Narcissists are unpleasant people, self-obsessed and simply not nice to be around. They damage people. So I am on a campaign to educate everyone about narcissism, and the dangers thereof. My little answers can only provide a snapshot, in relation to a tiny aspect of narcissism, and it is a big subject, so you need to study it to understand it properly. This will pay enormous dividends. You will be able to better deal with any narcissists you are stuck with, like relatives, and will be able to see what is going to happen if you have the misfortune to be in a relationship with one, so I am recommending everyone learns about it by reading.
And you will be able to spot one , so make it a priority to learn about the red flags, so you can identify them, stay away from them, and live a narc-free life. You will never regret it. Learning to understand narcissism is not difficult- because they are all the same, so know one, know them all. Read on this site the responses from survivors- all have been where you are, wondering, confused, uncertain. Or read one good book.
My own favourite book on the subject is one written by a survivor- Is There A Narcissist In Your Life?, by Amanda Clymont. She goes through all the basics, from the indicators (red flags) through the narcissist system, to how they all behave, and the tricks they use to control you and keep you from leaving.
It is the book I wish had been around when I was going through my own torture. It wouldn’t have taken away the pain, but it would have stopped me prolonging the agony, and listening for far too long to the lies. It will hopefully help you in the same way.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-know-when-they-have-gone-too-far
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Why do covert narcissists actively try to ruin your life?
If you suspect that you were with a covert narcissist, there is a good chance they are actively trying to sabotage your life.
You are not crazy for having those suspicions, and here's why: all narcissists craft a false reality around them where they have to be the best. They have overinflated egos and delusions of grandeur. They have to be the prettiest, the smartest, the richest, whatever it is. For a more covert narcissist, they have to be the best victim.
They are constantly victimizing themselves. They know in their minds they’re not going to be Miss Universe, right? They're not going to be the most good-looking, but they can be the best victim, and they will create some kind of sob story to lure you in and manipulate you with guilt throughout the entire relationship.
They don't want you to succeed. A grandiose narcissist wants you to look impressive because you're an extension of them, and it makes them look impressive. But with a covert narcissist, if you are succeeding, that doesn't fit into their perpetual victimhood narrative.
So, they will subconsciously try to take you down quicker than an anchor in the ocean. Sometimes it's not even that subconscious—they very well know what they're doing. They will start to have some kind of major health issue right when you're supposed to be at this very important work dinner. They will isolate you from the people who could help you thrive in your career.
Because they always have to be the best victim, you are not allowed to have sick days, surgery, your own health issues, or your own bad days. You will literally see them competing with you over being the sick one. Oh, you have a cold? Well, I think that I have pneumonia. They’re one-upping your health issue, and it’s completely ridiculous.
But sometimes, when they can’t compete with whatever thing you have going on—like literally, you're getting your leg amputated—they know that they can't one-up that. They will start to spastically try to get the attention on them in any way possible. That’s when you hear these ridiculous comparisons: Oh, you’re getting your leg amputated? That reminds me of when I had to put my hamster to sleep when I was seven. Like, what?
You don’t want to be with somebody who is actively trying to take you down. That is a recipe for misery, heartache, anxiety, depression, insomnia, and a whole bunch of other health issues. You deserve to be with somebody who wants you to succeed and takes great pride in your success just because they love you for you.
Go no contact with the covert narcissist, do not feel guilty for a day longer, and watch your life improve immediately.
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Narcs are mentally ill.
They are empty, void and lost souls.
They hurt ppl to feel alive and powerful.
That you suffer is not their problem.
They only care about themselves and getting their supply.
In my case:
The person would hurt me and then laugh that I was confused.
At first I thought, he was in a bad period in life (he had used this excuse)and he needed to put someone down and so on..but when he came back for the third time he seemed to be in a good period in life (still good position at work, went on a diet and looked very good, stopped drinking etc etc).
I even for a while started to wonder may be it was still me…but the moment I forgave him, on his birthday (the day after) he started his devalue and soon discard came!
So it was clear that it was not something of being in a bad period..no it was something he needed to do!
If you have a narc in your life, please read all you can on this topic.
These ppl come back to finish you off.
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They are jealous, very jealous, envious people, who also want to hurt you for this.
They hate your intelligence, your drive, and your spark, because they lack all of that. Their intelligence is superficial, and most I’ve known get their info from Google or YouTube, and then turn that on you and suggest that you’re the one who isn’t that smart, even if you’re a scholar who has written various research papers.
They always think they know more than you.
They don’t really read, they don’t really do much that I would call truly academic. If there are some who do, they are far and few between, or maybe someone else wrote their dissertation, as I’ve suspected happens, especially in privileged families.
They don’t soul search, they don’t have any self-awareness. They are evil, and know their own nature, and yet they obfuscate that knowledge with a layer of pride and delusional thinking.
In addition, they lack the ability to love, and don’t feel very much other than hatred, anger, and jealousy. Don’t forget, they are also violent and can do atrocious things.
Imagine being this pathetic. It’s no wonder they hate their victims.
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A narcissist as in someone with narcissistic personality disorder lack a true sense of themselves. They must gain a sense of self through others. Further, to aggravate this mental illness, they are compelled to feel better and more powerful than others. They can only achieve this by putting people down—making people feel small.
The narcissist’s aim is to find people they can give a false sense of elevating. They can do this is small ways with acquaintances and work buddies by pretending to be the nice guy, trapping people in conversation so that they can work subtle digs at people. They love to watch someone go from being happy to be around them to watching their face fall a little and then wonder what happened.
HOWEVER the ultimate power play for narcissists is to manipulate people into a relationship. People, especially people who suffer from poor self-esteem, are similar to the narcissist in that they need validation through other people, especially through a relationship.
A relationship makes them feel good about themselves because they finally think someone loves them and that this will be the cure to take away the feelings of loneliness and poor self confidence. These are the type of people narcissists are looking to truly topple.
They give them the illusion that their troubles are finally over and a false sense of validation through another person so that they can later torture and cut this person to the ground. They love to watch their victims suffer. It makes them feel powerful and in control and thus feeds their monstrous lack of self.
Furthermore, to add more fuel to their fire, they like to make their victims believe it’s their own fault that the relationship is going south and failing. Nothing gets them off more than causing another person to suffer and then tricking that person into believing that it’s their own doing.
They delight in watching you try frantically to save a doomed relationship, sacrificing more and more until you are shriveled up shell of your former self. At this point, when there is nothing left to take from you and they finally believe you are broken, they abandon you and move onto the next victim.
This is the true narcissist’s aim. This is the only way they can feel alive. Any other attempt to explain that they couldn’t help themselves or that you disappointed them by not being perfect so they were driven to devalue you is a ridiculous attempt to humanize and sympathize with them. Where is the sympathy for their victims?
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It’s not that simple, black a white. The main issue is they are very petty and jealous. They are also pathological liars who believe their own lies and excuses. And they will make up other lies if they know they are lying - to give them permission to lie.
SO - In their twisted minds, they are not (never) trying to hurt you. The problem is, that their twisted thinking require them to hurt you in order to promote themselves. They cannot stand it if YOU get more attention than they are getting.
They cannot stand it if you get an award. If you have “real” friends who love and care about you. They simply cannot tolerate you having more success than they have. And even when they do make more money, or get an award, or……..IF YOU do also - THEY feel diminished. SO, they must diminish you to elevate themself.
So I guess I wouldn't say that they “actively ‘try’ to ruin your life” - but they will do whatever they can to ruin your life. Sorry. If this sound convoluted? It is. They ARE!
Some examples, after I busted mine for serial cheating and pathological lying, here are some things he said as excuses:
1) “I had to lie to you, or you would have gotten mad at me.” Ya think? Not I’m sorry, or was wrong, or I made terrible choices.
2) “You got what you deserved, cuz you let me do it.” Well, if that were true, why’d you lie? Huh?
3) As I was packing to leave him - “Geez, it’s been two weeks, I thought you’d be over it by now.”
4) “They loved me for who I am.” Several used him for grades, blackmailed him, reported him to HR when he would no longer give them everything they wanted. My reply - “Ya, they all knew you were cheating on your wife, so they loved you for being a lying whore, just like them.”
My favorite 5) “Well, I never ‘intended’ to hurt you!” I said - “Ya, well, you never intended to NOT hurt me, or you wouldn’t have done these things AND lied about it.” A few more…”It can’t be a lie, b/c I mean it when I say it.” Or - If YOU would just work harder (ignore his abuse) we’d get along.” Or when I exposed him to EVERYONE w/data, “How could you do this to meeeee?” HIM? He was the one who was betraying me for YEARS.
I lost ALL of my medical and 2/3s my retirement b/c I moved out of state for HIM! He told me, “Well it was your choice.” Like I would have done any of that if I’d known who/what he was.
This is how they think. They simply do NOT care about you, or anyone (not even their children), esp if it interferes w/something, ANYTHING they want in the moment. So I’m not defending them. I’m just clarifying that they are not all that rational or smart to create a long-term plan to ruin your life. They just do it!
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-covert-narcissists-actively-try-to-ruin-your-life
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Why does a narcissist get away with the evil?
Because they do.
Most survivors are either too ashamed or too afraid to speak out.
The legal and judicial systems are horrifically biased against survivors. So much so, every domestic abuse center I interacted with warned me that I should prepare myself for it. They were right. It’s often referred to as the second wave of abuse.
The things we endure dealing with these abusive, toxic predatory parasites is often so bizarre, people don’t believe us. I retained an attorney, explained everything, and sent my documentation. She called a couple hours later, and the first thing she said was, “Oh my God! Everything you told me is true! How are you sane?!” I told her it was a hard claw back. In truth, he was so awful I had nowhere to go BUT sane. I’m a permanent resident. He was enough crazy for the three people he said he was, plus.
I’m a woman who ‘should’ be ashamed. For years I was, and deeply. I had to comprehend that it wasn’t my shame to carry. Most survivors do, because that’s what abuse does.
Our silence is every abusers’ most vicious weapon. It protects them. It erases us. It leaves us victims.
Like many, I didn’t recognize it as abuse. I thought he was mentally ill. That’s one of the dangers of amateur diagnosis. It was abuse, and started abruptly shortly after we married.
When I finally put the proper name to it, I started speaking up and out, in 2011. When I learned I was a Straight Spouse, that he’d only married me to stay in the closet, I was equally open. When he tried to kill me, and later tried to have me killed, very open. I escaped two years ago, and when I realized he’d spywared all my devices, knew where I was, and he’d overloaded my phone with death threats, I was publicly out of his closet.
The judicial system was ok with him trying to kill me. I was twice refused a protective order. The first time because, “There were no recent incidents of physical violence.” The second time I listened as he was allowed to speak enough to perjure himself to prevent me obtaining protection. I wasn’t even allowed to speak to present proof he’d done so.
This is how we’re murdered every single day in every country in the world.
Exposure is important. The ability to speak your truth without censure is both healing and empowering. You’ll raise awareness and attention to what is now recognized as a pandemic within a pandemic. You could save lives.
I’ll keep being open. When I really needed someone, there were people hit from the fire heading back with buckets of water.
I’m just trying to repay the favor and keep the good out there for those who need it. Speaking up and out is where it starts. The system isn’t broken, it was made that way. I believe we can change that with our voices and votes.
Please join me.
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For the same reason “Karen’s” get away with yelling at people. For the same reason that it is frowned upon to tell someone to take a shower, or wash their hair when it smells. For the same reason men tell women dirty jokes in the work place when they don’t want to hear them. For the same reason people are mean to waitstaff. It is all because if you call someone out on their bad behavior, you’re the azzh@le.
All of these socially accepted unacceptable behaviors fall under the umbrella of bad manners. However, to the flip side of this, as a society, we are discouraged from telling people to behave differently.
It might hurt their feelings if we tell them they are offensive to our nose. It might hurt their feelings if we tell them not to yell at the waitress for something the cook messed up. It might hurt their feelings if we tell them we didn’t want to hear that nasty, offensive joke. We are being too sensitive and need to stay quiet.
So, when the abuser looks at us and tells us that it wasn’t that bad, that we need to let it go, that we need to just turn the other cheek, we do. It isn’t acceptable to tell someone they are acting inappropriately.
They are allowed to act however they choose. So, the cycle remains. The only defense we have is to walk away from them, knowing full well that when we are gone, they’ll find someone else to abuse.
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They get away with it for so long until they don’t.
If you’ve spent any time with one you begin to see the shallowness and lack of depth they have. Everything about them is on a superficial level. It takes a heightened sense of awareness of those around them to see it.
They never have any “true” friends. They are desperately trying to find the “one” that completes them. They are a miserable lost soul. They bounce around creating chaos in an attempt to illicit a response of those around them. They use people, that’s all they do.
The real covert type disguise it as love and empathy. But they have none. Everything, and I mean everything they do is to benefit them in some way. It really is sick sh!t.
They chase titles that don’t exist, tell outlandish stories and portray an image to the outside world that is non existent. It’s cringe worthy sh!t.
Once you get an up close look at them behind closed doors it will all make sense.
In the end, they will be the only one believing their bullshit. And “maybe” some clueless alcoholic f*ck like themselves if they found someone to “settle” with.
Sooner, rather than later no one will want anything to do with them. They always get what they deserve in the end. You can’t go around f*cking people over in life and not have the consequences catch up to you.
Family begin to see through their sh!t and their own kids can’t stand them.
It’s a pathetically miserable life they live. And for some reason I was attracted to that sick sh!t.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-a-narcissist-get-away-with-the-evil
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How does a narcissist feel if you expose him to his new supply?
Be happy that you are no longer part of a narcissist's life, so your main motive is to focus on moving on and healing. Why do you have to expose narcissists to new supply when you can live a peaceful and happy life after leaving narcissists? If you expose narcissists, nothing is going to change; narcissists will put everything on you, and you will be called a horrible person.
Don't forget narcissists are extremely vindictive; they won't leave you till they teach you a lesson, so don't make the mistake of getting into more problems. The new supply of narcissists is not going to believe you because narcissists have already painted a very bad picture about you.
Narcissists have the habit of getting into multiple relationships at the same time. How long are you going to try to expose narcissists? Don't waste your precious time exposing narcissists. You can't keep exposing narcissists your whole life. Leave narcissists; focus on moving on and healing.
At one stage, a new supply of narcissists will figure out the truth about narcissists. Expose narcissists only when you are involved in the legal battle with narcissists.
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Narcissists don’t feel anything. Getting effected by feelings is a weak person’s position.
Instead of having a feeling of guilt or shame, Narcissist will play the victim, purporting to have been preyed on by you, who they will portray as the unreasonable abuser.
They may even tell their new partner, that it is you who is the narcissist, and due to their charm and plausibility, they will probably be believed.
New supply will never believe you, just as you wouldn’t have believed anyone if they had tried to warn you, all that time ago.
Any attempt of exposing them will only backfire on you. You will be made to look vengeful and bitter, and the narcissist will garner even more sympathy from their new partner. Therefore you are advised … don’t try to expose the narcissist. You will probably even be accused of harassment.
Leave everything on time. Time discovers truth. Their true colour will be revealed eventually.
Remember when the grass is cut, the snakes will show !
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Short answer: My friend if you want to get revenge on the naricissist by exposing him to his new supply then this is absolutely not the way to do it. Simply because it will inflate his ego and he will flip the script on you by telling his new supply that you are obsessed with him, yeah right?
She just did you the favor of removing the second hand scrap's off your plate. The real way to get your sweet revenge is by walking away going “NO CONTACT”! INDEFINITELY! with the parasite narcissist who dumped you for her while he was with you already to Hoover you after he dump's her. Accept your loses and respect yourself by giving yourself closure and self-love, self-care.
There are millions of other fish in the sea waiting to be caught by you who will appreciate the love you have to give. Good luck with a real catch I will be praying for you and your recovery from being duped by a soulless bum like the narcissist who lied to use everything you had to give sincerely.
https://thevulnerablenarcissist.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-feel-if-you-expose-him-to-his-new-supply
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What is narcissistic control?
Narcissistic control is when a narcissist says or even thinks something, and they expect everyone to respond exactly how they want.
They believe the world revolves around them and that their words, thoughts, or even their vibe are powerful enough to make people do what they want.
Narcissists expect everyone and everything around them to bend to their wishes. If someone doesn’t follow their demands or if something doesn’t go their way, they’ll try new tactics, apply different pressures, or rely on their belief that they can eventually make it happen.
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The narcissist feels a compelling need to control people in his (or her) environment; his spouse, work mates, friends and neighbors. It's because in his mind he doesn't feel in control. It is abuse, which is often long-term. There are many people stuck in long-term abusive relationships. They often feel powerless to do anything about it.
"Abuse is when someone else hurts us to serve their own needs and uses the situation to lock us in and maintain control."
The narcissistic personality manifests itself in the narcissist's behavior. He (or she) will seek to dominate every individual and every group with which he interacts. The narcissistic personality and its obsessive desire for control is not about control just for control's sake, but an essential defense against the risk of receiving a narcissistic injury; a blow to the ego or self-esteem.
Narcissism is almost entirely about gaining control over others, as is codependent behavior. Narcissistic behavior is most probably a reaction to an adolescence completely dominated by a narcissistic and/or codependent parent (or parents), controlled in all aspects of his young adult life, in a period when he needed to be allowed to develop control over his own life.
Healthy parenting involves reprimanding their children so that they know where the boundaries lie, whereas narcissistic parenting involves the parent(s) establishing complete emotional control over their offspring.
The narcissist lives in fear of losing control. He sees other people in his environment - at home, at work, friends, relatives and neighbors - as extensions to himself. He sees himself at the center of the world, the controller, an idol to be adored and admired; in his mind this makes it acceptable for him to abuse others - he continually tries to rearrange the 'significant others' in his life to look towards him, and admire him.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-narcissistic-control
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Waste of time is right. An evil person will use your love and kindness as a weapon, they will steal and kill everything and slander you.
A reflection of their character, they won’t change.
7 ATTITUDES of a person who ONLY USES YOU and DOESN'T CARE about YOU | Stoicism
Explore the 7 traits of someone who takes advantage of you and shows no genuine care.
Understanding these traits through a stoic lens can help you sharpen your judgment and strengthen your emotional resilience. It emphasizes the importance of concentrating on our own actions and reactions instead of trying to change others' behaviors. Identifying these traits will not only shield you from potential hurt but also lead you to healthier relationships and greater self-respect.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgmtzKHdhqU
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Why is it that a narcissist will gripe to you about a problem they're experiencing, but then act like you're some kind of idiot when you try to vent to them about the same problem?
Because it's not about you. It's all about them.
Their selfish needs come before you as well as God almighty.
You are a tool they use for supply.
You talking and feeling bad or upset over something doesn't mean, excuse me, sh!t to the narc. You might think different because of the idolizing and love bombing stage.
But that was an act to get you suckered into their nasty game they want and need to play with you. You're only filling a empty space in their sick mind till they feel something better comes along. This person has a disorder that can't be fixed. You will never understand their way of thinking, for it is off the charts for a normal person to understand.
If you spend much time dwelling on this question, as well as many others, you will start to question your own sanity. Let the narcissist go. Then you will soon realize that they are the true idiots.
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NPD is a shame based disorder. Narcissists need to avoid shame at all costs, that’s where the gaslighting, blame shifting, projection, deflection and all other tactics derive from.
Accountability is like kryptonite to a narcissist. It triggers their insecurities which can ultimately result in what is called a narcissistic injury. It’s equivalent to an emotional death to a narcissist. It’s been described as the most severe emotional pain, something a neuro typical cannot understand. Hence the reason why they must control their environment.
They need people to buy into their facade and the people that they can’t control, have firm boundaries or see through them are discarded and/or avoided. They’re skilled at making you apologize for the things you didn’t do, flipping the argument so you end up explaining yourself while they avoid accountability. They can absolutely drive a person insane! No relationship is worth the damage they cause.
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Welcome to the confusion of narcissistic personality disorder.
It’s mind boggling isn’t it? This occurs in so many different ways; reminds me of the example, “ if the narcissist drops and breaks a glass, somehow it will be your fault“.
Going with this example: it is extremely difficult for a narcissist to admit they have not necessarily been caught, but that they are flawed and someone could be more witty than they are, even know more than they do. Noting: under no circumstances does a narcissist want to take accountability or responsibility for their behaviors.
These flaws when exposed include: to be caught in their games of lies and betrayals. The truth is, they do think you are an idiot, and nothing will shake that reality, that version of you they have decided you are going to be.
Their next game, it’s to outwit you in the very thing you are calling them out on, to twist and turn things around to make you somehow the one who has wronged them.
Simply, the moment you call them out on their lie, it’s the next play for awhile. This IS their entertainment, their narcissistic supply — to have ANY emotional response from you is a ‘win’ for them.
This is how the emotional abuse begins, how the mental abuse begins and how it continues until you become trauma bonded, questioning your own sanity of what is right or wrong, what is true and untrue.
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The way they react, the things they say, what they think and what they do, these are all different.
They react in a cognitive manner. They act in ways in which they have learned how to respond in these type of situations. They act in a manner a normal person would do.
They say things like, thank you, i love you, you always help me, you're the best, you're the one for me, etc, etc.
What they think is, great, they fell for all my stories, I got what I needed, I knew they would, they always help me, they always do, they love me, I'm awesome!
What they do right after you help them is, they act unappreciative and ungrateful.
They act and make you feel as if you are a bottom feeder and you should feel entitled that they chose/allowed you to have helped them. They may even say to you, that if it wasn't you, someone else would have helped them. Or they would have done or made it on their own, without your help.
They will tell and retell their stories, how they done it all on their own! (your name, your help never comes up).
They don't appreciate you or anything you do for them and you are soon forgotten, until they need you and your help, again!
These are all facts and nothing but the truth!
PS: A narcissist is always dealing with problems, drama and chaos, always!
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They know they are the ones causing problems, but they purposefully have this twisted way of compartmentalizing and justifying everything to themselves, and then finding ways to blame other people.
So even if they once acknowledged their wrongdoing, even for a second, this will quickly be forgotten and the finger will be pointed at you once more.
Since they deny they ever said something else prior or changed their mind (as they always do), they cannot be made to rationalize. They refuse to do so. They won’t harmonize with other people, which is required for understanding the problem.
If you haven’t noticed, narcissists gloss over problems. They let things go to waste.
My ex-narcissist never took care of the car issues, or if he did, it was because I kept insisting. He used to get angry at me for asking him to get the car checked out.
Narcissists let things lay to waste. They don't care. They don’t want to solve problems. They want instant gratification. They want you to give them what they want. If you can’t do that, you are the problem. You will be discarded, the same way they discard their own problems and anything they refuse to fix.
They can’t even fix themselves.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-that-a-narcissist-will-gripe-to-you-about-a-problem-theyre-experiencing-but-then-act-like-youre-some-kind-of-idiot-when-you-try-to-vent-to-them-about-the-same-problem
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Five Dark Spirits Behind Narcissistic Behavior
Narcissism isn’t just a psychological dilemma; it also poses significant spiritual challenges. Narcissists often disconnect from their true selves for long periods, allowing dark forces to fill that void. In this discussion, we will explore five spirits believed to influence narcissism, offering a new perspective on this complex issue.
Today’s topic is intriguing: five dark spirits associated with narcissism. While some may view this as controversial, examining the issue through a spiritual lens can provide deeper insights. Remember to subscribe to help spread awareness about narcissistic abuse!
At the forefront of this discussion is the Jezebel spirit, known for its manipulation and control. This high-ranking demon mirrors many traits associated with narcissism. While it may not directly cause narcissistic behavior, it certainly enhances those tendencies.
If you prefer a more psychological approach, consider that narcissists may possess a darker side—an inner shadow that shapes their reality. The Jezebel spirit manifests in five different forms, each governing aspects of the narcissistic personality.
Let’s kick off with The Enchantress. This spirit fosters an unquenchable thirst for power, persuading the narcissist that exploitative actions are signs of intelligence. Each time a narcissist lies or betrays, The Enchantress encourages them to indulge in such behavior.
The second spirit, The Green-Eyed Demon, embodies revenge and jealousy. It feeds the narcissist’s insatiable greed and fosters a sense of perpetual dissatisfaction. This spirit buries their conscience under justifications, making it easier for them to envy others and pursue more.
The third spirit is The Fog of Chaos, which introduces confusion and binds the narcissist to the harm they create. Narcissists may recognize the pain they inflict but often lack the empathy to care. The Fog of Chaos magnifies their destructive nature, leading them to enjoy the suffering they cause.
Next is The Harsh Critical Judge. This spirit inflates the narcissist’s sense of superiority, keeping them trapped in a bubble of self-deception. This false belief in their greatness ultimately leaves them isolated, unable to form meaningful connections.
Lastly, we encounter The Silver-Tongued Spirit, which allows narcissists to manipulate effortlessly. This entity helps them present a charming exterior while masking their immoral behavior, enabling them to manipulate perceptions and deceive those around them.
https://psychologyofbehaviour.quora.com/Five-Dark-Spirits-Behind-Narcissistic-Behavior
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How does a narcissist brainwash you? What are the beliefs about oneself that they try to change first? Do they try to change your perception of others too?
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-brainwash-you-What-are-the-beliefs-about-oneself-that-they-try-to-change-first-Do-they-try-to-change-your-perception-of-others-too
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Can there be genuine mutual respect between a narcissist and an empath?
No.
We hate the NPD.
They were the ones who wrecked our beginnings in childhood.
The only good NPD is one hanging from a light pole.
I can respect that. The simple fact is that NPD are our mortal enemies. Unions between a BPD and an NPD can level whole neighborhoods. Flatten houses. Endanger small cities.
Respect? Those NPD people respect nothing. They are amoral asses. They live nothing but lies. Many of them get sexual thrills by hurting people. How can you respect that?
Never interfere in those battles. Mere mortals never survive our struggles. It is a battle we were born and forged to fight. I smote my enemy a great blow and we fell together through all time. Mile after mile. Year after year. To this place.
https://www.quora.com/Can-there-be-genuine-mutual-respect-between-a-narcissist-and-an-empath?no_redirect=1
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Can people who have been discarded by narcissists recover from the effects? Why or why not?
I haven’t heard a single report of someone saying they feel like themself again. If you have, then they didn’t actually suffer from narcissistic abuse.
That sh!t rewires your brain to adapt to constant stress and now your stuck in survivor mode. There’s a loss of dopamine from the massive highs and really low lows because it f*cked with its system by actually getting emotionally addicted and dependent on them to feel valid.
The betrayal is unlike any other. You don’t know what is real and what’s not. I still don’t know during that time, even if I was told the truth. My person was stripped away from me. Imagine feeling naked about who you are and what you meant before. I haven’t felt fully comfortable with myself since. There’s just this blank feeling, not empty, just blank. Your mind shuts down from emotions to protect itself.
Narcissistic abuse is a really awful experience. Like really X a million. You will never get it if you haven’t been through it. The trauma alters your perception of how you view the world and yourself. Some might feel better in a way because there is this new understanding of themselves and appreciate the wisdom.
I am not one of those people. I would take my frequency back in a heartbeat.
https://www.quora.com/Can-people-who-have-been-discarded-by-narcissists-recover-from-the-effects-Why-or-why-not
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How does one avoid taking a narcissist's’ meanness personally?
How not to take it personally? I find narcissist's personal attacks and they are in fact on your person about your person and character very personal. Repetitive verbal abuse, physical assaults, screaming, crazy bugged out eyes, the lies, ear raping you with bullshit stories and excuses, abuse to their own person with drugs, alcohol, food, sex. The vicious nasty things they can say to hurt you. Put downs, insults, back handed compliments, lying to others about you.
Now, advice on how to help oneself deal daily with these pieces of human sh!t, not punch them in the face, not hurt inside yourself, most importantly heal. When looking back at all the time I wasted with this fake, abusive, human shaped demon. A few tips:
Understand you are dealing with the equivalent of someone with Down's syndrome, or an amputee. Would you get mad at someone with down's syndrome that was yelling, screaming and having a tantrum? Narcissists are having a lifetime tantrum. It is just disguised behind their mask.
Their tantrum is not only directed at you. Narcissists must lure people into their lives and trap them somehow to offload their toxic internal waste. I take it very personally but i cut them out of my life as soon as possible.
Ahhh yes FAMILY, this is a tougher one. Avoid and handle them with kid gloves.
Do not get involved financially, do not be their final supply. Make a "box" or frame in which you keep them. Small space for them in your life. Limited access to you and your home. Do not let them loan you money, make you rely on them, accept any gifts from them.
Imagine in your head someone in your family maybe a cousin, uncle, or aunt you have met and said hi but never really got close to. This is how you should be. Polite and aloof. Do not let them stay overnight in your home. Avoid enclosed spaces with narcissists. Be yourself and love yourself.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-one-avoid-taking-a-narcissists%E2%80%99-meanness-personally
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:wtf:
This Is Why CHOSEN ONES Are BROKE
In this powerful and eye-opening video, we dive deep into the reasons why Chosen Ones often experience financial struggle. It's not a punishment, but a divine process of preparation. Being broke doesn't define your worth; instead, it refines your spirit. God is shaping you for something greater, teaching you resilience, faith, and how to rely solely on Him. Discover how these challenges are setting the stage for your breakthrough and why financial hardship can be part of God’s bigger plan for your life. Watch now to understand the hidden blessings behind the struggle!
:tello: "Yeah but...my wealth was stolen. What kind of lesson is this?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjUReO9T9hs
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A narcissist is so miserable with themselves that they have to be complaining about
other people's lives.
A Narcissist is NEVER
All In
@steadypace1262
6 months ago
A narcissist is neither in or out they sit on the fence and jump on the side which is most advantageous to them at the time. "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." Scripture.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLNGkVnXWU0
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The only thing more traumatic than narcissistic abuse is the disbelief of the people around you. It is so incredibly frustrating when no one else sees them as you do, but the bottom line is you know the truth.
This 5-Second Test Exposes a Narcissist
@carly106
1 month ago
It never fails to amaze me how all of this happened to me over and over until God finally just took me out of the situation. It’s been 6 years and finally I am able and willing to accept that it wasn’t all me after all. No matter how many times I have tried to make any mistake I’ve made right with any of them it fell into deaf ears and was completely ignored. I’m 66 years old this year. Finally finding a place to heal. I am a saved believer now and in God’s care. What a horrible journey it has been. These people are everywhere including church pastors, teachers and spiritual leaders. It’s a very sick and insane life if you remain asleep and willing to go along with it. They will never change.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqGCtvmGw3A
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Repack them in a box and label it
DAMAGED GOODS.
Chosen One, YOU Attract MOSTLY Narcissist, HERE"S WHY!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-229gtmp9M
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A supernova empath may be confused for a narcissist.
This is because of the cold indifferent response to a narcissists cry baby victim act. Onlookers who only see the surface fall for the theatrics but the empath sees right through the sheep-skin layer, looks right at the wolf in the eye saying "Nice try".
How An Empath Becomes a Super Nova to Destroy a Narcissist
@carparthero
2 months ago
A narcissist's worst nightmare is an educated empath. The gig is up at that point, and they'll discard you quickly. But you know the truth, and they'll hate you for it.
In my lived experience, emotionally abusive narcissists will lose their minds if empaths do these 10 things:
1. let them know you're onto them
2. remain completely non-reactive
3. radical honesty, accept them for who they are
4. treat them with indifference
5. rejection
6. exposure
7. unfavorable comparisons, compare the narcissist to normal, good people's behaviours
8. ignore them
9. get happy with your own activities
10. establish and maintain no-contact
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi6p1mihSb8
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What do narcissists deserve? To be surrounded by people exactly like themselves, who treat them like they treat others.
How God Takes Your Revenge On The Narcissist
@carparthero
1 month ago
I don’t wish revenge on a narcissist. There's no need - my survival and success without them validates that they failed to destroy me, and proves they were the bottleneck in my progress all along.
Narcs already have to live with themselves everyday, and that's quite a punishment on its own. They hate themselves so much that they have to present a false image of themselves to the world.
BUT what I do WISH for, is that eventually the narc will be forced to self-reflect, and confront all the times they did other people wrong. That would be painful.
They would need a seismograph to measure the impact of the narcissist collapse as a result.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwuW87k3yxc
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IT'S UP TO GOD
Tom Vreman of the Dorcas Society Mission was speaking to our church about the patience required to work on a mission field. He told about a friend and his family who had traveled to inner Mongolia region of China to proclaim the gospel
For the first few years, all they did was get settled and learn the customs of the people. After almost 4 years, his friend reported with great excitement that he was discipling his first three converts. That's slow progress.
But after another 4 years, the missionary gave amazing report: The entire village had turned in faith to Christ. The new Christians began praying for the people in a neighbouring town. They sent witnesses, and soon that whole village received Christ. Now the entire region is hearing the gospel - all because one man and his family were willing to plant the seed and trust God for the results.
The apostle Paul gave his life to do God's work. But he knew who was responsible for the success of that work. "Neither he who plants is anything," he wrote, "nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase"... Cor. 3:7.
Evangelism calls for patience. We may plant the seed, as Paul did, or we may water, as Apollo's. The key is to do our part and leave the results to God. - DCE.
FAITHFULNESS IS GOD'S REQUIREMENT;
FRUITFULNESS IS HIS REWARD.
https://storiesthatgivelife.quora.com/ITS-UP-TO-GOD-1
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If you react, they call you emotional, insecure, and needy. If you don't react, they call you selfish, cold hearted, and accuse you of never loving them or else you'd be, "more passionate" about them.
2 Magic Phrases Used by a Narcissist to
Control You
@chosen1121
10 months ago
Yeah, they want you to give them endless attention and unconditional love.
They want you to do whatever they want.
But they will not accept that for you.
They are predators!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lk11wVnkJyE
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Narcissists do not condone or allow you to express valid emotions or reactions and, therefore, NEVER validate your emotions, thoughts, or feelings. They also will be absent when you need them the most.
5 Insane Things Only
a Narcissist Does
@lolxd9396
11 months ago
Sounds like my dysfunctional parents and siblings, who are in denial to this day. And then my ex spouse was the same. But then I wonder why I end up around narcissistic people. Surely, I was naive and stupid then to let these people abuse me emotionally, psychological and physically.
Not anymore, now I have cut all communication with them and am feeling much peace!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUzyuaqZvvQ
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Absence, silence and indifference. That's all you should ever show towards the narcissist.
How to Use The Gray Rock Method With a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op-9DCA1RfE
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Great advice for empaths and people in general trying to get out of any form of relationship with narcissists.
Emotionally Abusive Narcissists Will Lose Their Minds IF You Do These 10 Things
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNSHkCpJ-_o&t=9s
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They will prey on different people depending on the supply they need now.
Narcissists are Predators
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqXThJ8r6N8
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The lengths they will go to not take accountability for their actions is unbelievable.
WHAT LENGTHS THE NARCISSIST WILL GO TO
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUcGWc303c0
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Red flag #1 - their words don't match their actions.
Red Flags 🚩 of the Narcissist’s Deception
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6akoHAZzv8
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Think about how narcissistic people ALL follow the same play book. It doesn’t matter where they’re from or what generation they grew up in…how is that unless they have the same evil spirit?
Are Narcissists Demons?
:devil:
Same evil spirit is controlling all of them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYTkvBBf_Hs
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It's been around forever. We just weren't aware of it due to isolation. Now with social media, everyone is telling their story. Liars, cheaters, manipulators, you name it has been around forever. We didn't have a name for it back in the day. But everything is now instantaneous in today's world of the internet. Everything is easily accessible and is ruining marriages and relationships. Eliminate the internet and get back to the basics of life.
Why is Narcissism So Prevalent Today?
:tello: "No, keep the internet and trash the Narcs. Dump 'em in Nevada and let them eat each other".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlGw6DvAlwI
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Somebody leaked my journals and saw my blogs to make this video. I am Honoured to be a part of the stories of struggle on this Modern Earth. Excellent graphics here, keep up the good work!
The SECRET BATTLE Between CHOSEN ONES and NARCISSISTS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQbtmJmII3s
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Is it common for narcissists to make you feel like you're narcissistic?
Oh my!! Do they ever!
How else would they be able to live in the f*cked up abuse ridden world they create?
Can you imagine the conscience you would carry around if you treated someone 1/10th of the way they treated you?
That’s right, there is no conscience!
The worse thing you can do is educate them!
See, I f*cked up. I brought out all the guns. I couldn’t wrap my head around what the f*ck was happening.
I was taking every personality test under the sun! Went to 3 therapist trying to figure out what the f*ck was happening.
She actually told me one time, if I didn’t get treatment for my Borderline Personality Disorder, she couldn’t date me!
Not sure if you know this. But dating one of these monsters will bring out the worse of you!! And every character defect you have will be multiplied by 1000x!
I don’t know if you feel narcissist. But you sure as sh!t will be pissed at yourself for falling for the BULLSHIT!
CUNNING, BAFFLING AND POWERFUL is what their manipulation is.
Clarity will come with space, time and education.
I’m close to moving on from this cluster f*ck I stumbled into. Owning my part and closing that chapter in my life.
I know what I experienced. I know how I treat people I love. And I also know how cut throat I can be when someone abuses me over and over again.
That’s not narcissism, it’s called SURVIVAL.
F*CK THEM!
:tello: "I'm Ron Tello and I approve of this message."
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-common-for-narcissists-to-make-you-feel-like-youre-narcissistic
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Not smee.
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Narcs are the fools. Everyone knows it
except narcs.
Narcissists Think
You’re a Fool
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6lEJJDU-po
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:roflmao: What are the best comebacks to say to a narcissist? :rofl:
Respond to a narcissist as you would a toy that ‘speaks’ by way of battery or pull string as old fashioned toys ‘spoke’. The item speaks in programmable sounds and sentences yet is unable to comprehend the meaning of what it is saying nor the meaning of what others are saying. If you must, keep your communication limited to the most simple of words and expect nothing of consequence in return.
Do not expect dialog, truth, sense, meaning, sincerity nor anything remotely resembling what we’ve come to expect from intelligent beings.
______________________________
Grey rock.
Show them that their actions aren’t going to affect you emotionally anymore.
Show them no response.
Quit reacting.
Communication at minimum, when you absolutely have to deal with them because of children you two share or whatever it may be, always respond with no emotion. If they come at you trying to talk down you, make you feel shitty, in order to get you to respond to then or react, do not react, easier said, then done.
Narcissists are always looking for reactions and they know how to pull you to your breaking point. They’ve studied your reactions to their sh!tty behavior toward you; they know how to push you to your limits.
As difficult as that can be, you have to learn to not feed into their manipulation and games.
The more you feed into it, the worse it gets.
Not that you’re to blame, but you have to come to accept that you cannot change them, no matter the words you so desperately wish you could find to make them see the point, they won’t. No matter how emotionally hurt you are, they don’t care, they only care about them and their desires that they need to survive.
Some are extremely dangerous and may try getting revenge and destroying your life (my story).
In this case, if you feel threaten, ensure you have protection. Like trusted family and friends. Come up with a plan if you are in a tough spot. It may seem petty to just up and discreetly disappear and abandon them, but this is about you. Giving them any hints, that you are about to leave, will give them time to come with a plan to convince you to stay. Or cause a scene.
Ultimately, to heal and have a peaceful life, you must go no contact, if that’s possible with your situation. The best is to eliminate all interactions and communications with them and if you must associate with them, again, only respond with the point. Don’t respond to abuse. If they go too far get a restraining order if you have to.
Bottom line, the best way to respond to a narcissist is no contact. Don’t show them anything. They will soon tire off and find a new target. Sad that so many fall under their destructive manipulative web of lies.
Even if you warn them, they won’t listen. Remember how you felt at the beginning with them? The new supply will already have a picture the narcissist painted of you, long, long ago, overtime, by planting behaviors that set you off and you start calling them or texting them a lot, the new supply will see this and the “crazy-making” claims are justified.
Sad thing is, new supply doesn’t understand that everything that is going on, is being initiated by the person they trust with everything probably by now. They wouldn’t even suspect them being anything but perfect.
They too will notice something is off. Sooner or later, others will be so stuck and co-dependent that they may never understand.
It’s a sad situation.
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When you are dealing with a narcissist, you are damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Sometimes saying nothing, giving no response, is the best way to stay alive.
Unless you have mastered the inner workings of the narcissist's psyche.
In which case, you can use their own toxicity, their own deficiencies, as leverage against them.
Whilst shielding yourself, from getting burnt.
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Don’t, and I mean, DO NOT, defend or explain yourself. This is how they throw you off, with all of this… ‘Why did you do that? What’s wrong with you?’ business where they harp on it endlessly. The more you defend and explain the more they come after you. It’s like a predator that smells blood.
Show no fear, learn to be without fear. I realize this is a tall order and I’ve said this many times. When you’re unafraid of them, they’ve got nothing. They fold like lawn chairs.
Talk about them. Every response out of your mouth is a statement about them and their behavior. ‘Why are you yelling? You already said that, why do you keep repeating yourself? Oh, you mean the exact thing that you do on a constant basis?’ I’ve been known to do this quite aggressively, especially when I’m picking up that they are a malignant narcissist. Like a tennis match, hit that shite right back at them.
Set boundaries. ‘Stop it, you’re out of line. You’re behavior is inappropriate. You need to leave. I’m hanging up now.’ Etc.
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Say NOTHING, Yes! NADA💯
Don't Acknowledge Their Presence.
Avoid Them at ALL Cost.
Treat Them With Indifference.
Limit Your Contact to a Bare Minimum.
BLOCK Them.
Starving The Narcissist of any Attention, is the best way to protect your Mental Health and Sanity. —Being in close contact with a Narcissist can prove DEADLY.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-comebacks-to-say-to-a-narcissist-10
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Survivors don’t believe the gaslighting. if you saw it , it was real. If you heard it, then it exists, and if you feel it then you have a right to be respected as a human being. Do not let the narcissist dictate your reality when they have no ability to love without control or love without power and dominance.
Believe in yourself survivors, and write it all down for the times they gaslight you into believing you are doing drugs, are insane or whatever wild excuse they have of you deserving to be abused in the relational space. Consider the source, they need people’s energy to exist in their minds as superior. Don’t drink their kool aide. Keep healing survivors
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Narcissist are novelty seekers and often need new people or new experiences to fuel their thoughts about themselves. This gets exhausting because there is no real intimacy and you feel unseen unless you provide the narcissist with whatever they need or want in the moment.
Survivors get stuck serving a person who wouldn’t cross the street for them, if it inconvenienced their lifestyle. These relationships are one sided and lonely experiences. Survivors learn that intimate time is more valuable than material things or places to be seen. Survivors begin to see the narcissist isn’t confident, but haughty and desperate for external life to maintain their superiority.
Once survivors know the duality of the narcissist they begin to live more true to their own need and wants. They begin to live true to their values and live away from those who can’t be vulnerable. Keep healing survivors.
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What is the process to get
a narcissist to acknowledge they
have a problem?
There is no process; only narcissists have to understand that they are the problem in relationships. Problem is, narcissists don't ever think they are problems in relationships, so they aren't going to admit they have done anything wrong.
Narcissists will never allow anyone to look at them negatively. For narcissists, being correct is more important than any relationship. Even if narcissists know they have made a mistake, they aren't going to admit it because they feel shame. Another problem is ego; for narcissists, admitting mistakes is surrendering.
If you catch a narcissist doing something wrong, then they will blame you, someone else, or circumstances. Narcissists have reasons and excuses ready to cover up their mistakes. Narcissists don't learn because they haven't learned to admit their mistakes; they have never learned to fix things.
Narcissists only find ways to escape accountability and responsibility. For narcissists, reputation is more important than relationships.
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Not seeing that there is a problem is one of the defining traits of NPD. It is a persons worldview and works for them as it prevents any trauma.
Typically everyone else has a problem and not them. It seems to take several setbacks such as imprisonment, divorces and such to see that there is a problem for them.
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Usually... You cannot. If you have any experience with a narcissist you already know you cannot convince them of anything they don't want to be convinced of. They are always right. They are never wrong. Nothing you say or do will ever change that!
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Their entire life operating system is based around the false belief that they have no problems and deserve/are entitled to anything they want. This is obviously not true, but their entire personality is a defense mechanism designed to avoid thoughts and feelings that conflict with their delusional and grandiose false belief.
Having this false inflated sense of self coupled with an arrested emotional maturity comparable to a small child make it all but impossible for Narcissists to self-reflect or admit their faults.
They may pay lip service to having a problem but it’s typically only to garner your sympathy, buy themselves more time as you let them “work on their issues”, or set you up for a discard and smear campaign.
The best thing you can do if you truly believe you’re involved with a Narcisst is to use your energy to focus on your own health and well-being by developing a healthy support system outside of the Narcissist and implement some personal boundaries to limit exposure to their toxicity.
Then you’ve got to decide if you’re going to stay or leave the situation. Staying has a very challenging and unsatisfying outlook centered around you losing your expectation of a healthy happy reciprocal relationship with love affection and transparency.
Bottom line, don’t waste your energy trying to convince a Narcissist that they have a problem. If they’re truly a Narcissist, you could bring them all the proof in the world and they’d just say “that’s you! You’re the narcissist, you need help. I’m worried about you” etc. like I said, everything about the way they operate is designed to avoid ever accountability or admitting that they’re anything less than perfect. They’ve got no problem changing subjects, lying, cheating, stonewalling, projecting, etc to avoid the truth.
https://decodingnarcissism.quora.com/What-is-the-process-to-get-a-narcissist-to-acknowledge-they-have-a-problem
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It was real, it happened but none of it was genuine.
Was Any of It Real with the Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayjVvW9Qk_s
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Do narcissists care if you ignore them?
If you're ignoring the narcissist, it's probably for a good reason. You’re not doing it for attention or to play their ghosting games. You're ignoring them because they've hurt you in some way, and they know it. In fact, they might even expect to be ignored.
But do they care? Not really. They might try to get your attention a couple of times, but they’ll quickly stop. To them, you have two options: accept them for who they are or ignore them forever. If you still care about them, they know you probably won’t ignore them for long. They might tempt you back, knowing you’ll eventually give in. And if you don’t, they likely have someone else lined up who will.
Narcissists rarely leave themselves in a position where being ignored by you affects them much, if at all.
If you decide to completely cut them off and move on, they might just erase you from their life. Instead of thinking about how they hurt you, they’ll use your silence as an excuse to drop you, blaming you for it, no matter how much they caused the pain in the first place.
Whether you ignore them or admire them doesn’t change much in the end. Most of the time, they’ll end up discarding you anyway. Ignoring them to make them realize they hurt you won’t lead to the outcome you want.
___________________________
This destroys them.
But you must do it for you.
They come back when you don’t care anymore.
They can sense when you’re done psychically with them.
And this puts them over the edge.
Because they have lost control over you.
Not because they care.
They are dependent on your entire being under their control.
Cut the cord.
Ruminating about it is a sign you have gone through a hell of a lot of trauma.
Instead concentrate on other things, distract yourself with things you enjoy.
Start caring about yourself instead of caring about a horrible abuser you just got rid of out of your life.
Congratulations on taking out the trash.
_______________________________
It has the same effect to pouring salt on a snail or a maggot.
It makes them squirm and burn inside out.
Narcissists survive off of external validation. The internal monolgue in their head is bullying them 24/7. They need the validation or they are engulfed in self-loathing and oxidization of their whole identity.
That's why they trauma bond. They will get close to you and destiny swap with you. They will mimic your whole identity and act like you copied them.
This is because your persona attracts attention organically. You don't need it to survive.
A narcissist will practice all day how to talk like you, dress like you and act like you. And if they don't get the same attention/reaction as you get from people, they feel like a failure. They feel humiliated.
They will begin to resent you even more. Because how come you can and they can't.
This is a endless cycle for them with every single relationship in their miserable life.
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Narcissists often have an intense need for attention and validation, so ignoring them can provoke strong reactions. They may feel hurt, angry, or rejected when they are ignored, as it threatens their self-esteem and sense of importance.
However, their responses can vary:
Seeking Attention: Some narcissists may escalate their behavior to regain attention, using tactics like manipulation or drama.
Indifference: Others might act as if they are unaffected, but this could be a façade to mask their vulnerability.
Retaliation: In some cases, they might respond with passive-aggressive behavior or attempts to provoke a reaction.
Overall, while they may not care in a healthy emotional sense, they often do care about the impact of being ignored on their self-image and the attention they receive.
https://www.quora.com/Do-narcissists-care-if-you-ignore-them
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Can you make a narcissist devalue their new supply?
Let's just slow you down for a minute; how about we take the foot off the accelerator for just a second?
You're panicked.
Take a breath; you may be alone, but it won't kill you.
A few more breaths, just to prove my hypothesis.
Now, let's go over this again, but in a more honest way:
Can I make a humanoid with a god-complex — an extremely delusional, dangerous and abusive individual — lose interest in the current person they are preparing to psychically dismember, and return their focus to me so that they can finish the job?
Probably.
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Can you make a person with a mental disorder do/say/feel anything like a normal healthy person? Absolutely NEVER.
Narcissist mess up their own lives perfectly on their own. I know being discarded is so incredibly painful in the beginning and you want them to hurt you want the new supply to feel pain too. It’s human. I promise once you work on healing from this abuse and trauma you will feel badly for the new supply.
Also I have watched my ex devalue several partners after me, with zero help!! Actually if you want to speed up the process, practice self love and act like you could give two sh!ts about them! Look and act happy always. I drove my ex nuts doing this. (Even when I was sad still I would never let him know) one time I even told him “You and your new girlfriend are such a good match. I’m happy for you you.”
Hand to God it felt empowering and he was so bewildered by my confidence and lack of “caring for him.” Found our later he and his new partner fight all the time. They aren’t happy with anyone. They devalue every single person in their life eventually.
Stay positive, read about this disorder. They truly are the most miserable and alone sad sh!ts. Don’t be jealous of that.
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Can you make a narcissist devalue their new supply?
Why do you want to manipulate them into devaluing their new supply? To protect the new supply? To get them to take you back so they can devalue you again? To make them hurt the new supply the way they hurt you?
I get it. You are angry, devastated, and want revenge, but trying to manipulate a professional manipulator is a lost cause.
A waste of energy and you will end up doing more harm to yourself and the new supply, than what transpired in the first place. The narcissist will come out smelling like a rose with an almost valid claim to victimhood. What they did to you the abuses, lies, manipulations and using you for their own purposes was wrong.
What you propose to do is wrong too, you know it or you wouldn’t be asking permission to do it. Two wrongs have never, and will never make a right. It’s stepping down to their level and abusing an almost innocent party, the new supply.
If you insist on it, just wait around and they will do to the new supply what they did to you, because that is how narcissist’s live their lives.
Your other choice is to lick your wounds, heal, and begin a new life without them in it. That will hurt them more than anything else you could do to them, and be a great deal more satisfying for you.
https://www.quora.com/Can-you-make-a-narcissist-devalue-their-new-supply
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Is there a way to explain Narcissism so people can understand the devastation in a few sentences?
However low the narcissist feels, you must feel lower.
Any signs of your vibrant, optimistic nature coming to the surface, must be extinguished with the diligence and precision of someone looking to extinguish a rapidly expanding fire in an ammunition depot –
before the whole building turns into a huge fireworks show, the likes of which you've never seen.
To the extent you have good things going on for you, the narcissist feels terminally threatened, and it is not their time yet –
No, so they must make it your time.
No accountability.
No responsibility.
No ability to reason with or understand (care about?) you.
Craftily targeted projection, to remove any sense of your grounding.
You find yourself in a world of confusion, and you feel it's your fault, even though you don't understand the why or what or who or how.
Not only do you lose all that which is good about yourself, but you take on the most toxic feelings of the narcissist.
All the while, wondering what hit you, how you lost everything that made you you.
The depths of the toxic enmeshement, conjoined in that deadly invisible web.
Some things only experiencing to fully understand.
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People with NPD are obsessed with being bigger than life. They are so deeply insecure with who they are that they project a huge persona that they defend with an intensity that is scary.
They can’t take criticism, at all. They refuse to accept blame or responsibility. They will never apologize and mean it.
They do take credit for things they haven’t earned. They make things up. They flat out lie.
They do not really connect with people- they are playing this huge game and they honestly believe everyone else is too, and they are just better at it.
Only their feelings matter. They do have feelings and they feel deeply, but those are the only “real” feelings. Other people’s feelings are just manipulations.
The devastation: no one is really important to them. People are interchangeable, no matter what you’ve gone through together. The past is just interesting stories, with no emotional attachment.
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Narcissism is one of those things best not talked about.
You can call them jerks, brats, selfish, or any number of other names, but the person you're talking to probably just thinks you're both weird, and is only listening to your empath war stories because they want to borrow something off you, and they've learned that if they endure you spilling your guts for a while, you seem to become rather pliable and acquiesce to almost any request.
Better to learn the lessions and achieve your goals. Talking about narcissists too much makes you seem unhinged, and doesn't do anything for you at all. Narcissists love living rent free in your head, they will use you to feel good any way they can. You should use them instead.
Narcissists are a fuel source,
https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-to-explain-Narcissism-so-people-can-understand-the-devastation-in-a-few-sentences
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What are the best quotes you can use to warn people about narcissists?
Know thyself.
To thine own self be true.
Test everything you’ve been told, and keep only that which is good and true.
It’s better to be alone than in bad company.
Never take criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.
Find someone that messes up your lipstick, not your mascara.
Don’t stay where you are tolerated, live where you are celebrated.
The truth may hurt, but it’s the lies that leave a scar.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to smell the number 9.
If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.
It’s not how hard you fall but how high you bounce that counts.
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridges to cross which ones to burn.
It’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to that counts.
I’d rather hear one hard truth than a thousand easy lies.
Every day is a holiday until it isn’t.
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn’t exist”. The Usual Suspects
Evil people exist. Like the devil, they hide, lie and hate the light.
Don’t expect all others have the qualities you value; the first lie or something that makes you think wait, what?…confuses you…run. They start by making you question what you know to be right and wrong.
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“He will choose you, disarm you with his words, and control you with his presence. He will delight you with his wit and his plans. He will show you a good time but you will always get the bill. He will smile and deceive you, and he will scare you with his eyes.
And when he is through with you, and he will be through with you, he will desert you and take with him your innocence and your pride. You will be left much sadder but not a lot wiser, and for a long time you will wonder what happened and what you did wrong. And if another of his kind comes knocking on your door, will you open it?”
From a book by Robert D. Hare Ph.D.
(Written about psychopaths, but can also fit the malignant narcissist.)
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I don't know if people will believe you if you try and warn them about a narcissist? They find it difficult to grasp that someone so overtly un, lovely, caring, likeable - add your adjective here - can actually have such a dark condition. People like to believe the best - and, until they see them for what they really are - will probably think you’re insane. Which is exactly what the narcissist wants.
The only warning I would probably give - without elaborating - is they should watch out around them, protect themselves and reduce their expectations. Sooner or later - no doubt - they will be hurt, and let down. Even then they may be so gaslighted that they blame themselves.
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Angels on the street, devil at home. That is one of my favorite quotes regarding narcissists, especially covert ones. Not that you have to be a narcissist to act that way, but it sure describes them.
“A narcissist cares enough to hurt you the very best.” There is one I just made up.
A few more statements I coined that I often use:
Even when you think you matter the most you don’t matter at all.”
“If you have not been narcissistically abused you will never understand it.”
“You will be with a narcissist until it hurts more to stay then to go.”
“It’s all a game to a narcissist. You are not playing in the game, that would make you important, no, you are merely a game piece, to be positioned as the narcissist's see fit.
“Deep down narcissists are good people, that is why they are often buried twelve feet deep instead of six.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-best-quotes-you-can-use-to-warn-people-about-narcissists
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How can narcissists just shut feelings on and off so quickly like a light switch?
One minute they love you, the next minute you don't exist.
Once you learn about narcissism and accept what it is, things start to make sense.
There was no real "love" from them. You loved them, but they didn’t love you back.
They chose you like picking apples at a store.
Once they start talking to you, they mirror you, studying who you are.
They fantasize about what you can do for them and how you can make them feel. If you give them a strong emotional rush, they’ll drop all the other people they were focusing on without you even knowing.
They mirror you so, in reality, you’re falling in love with yourself. Pretty wild, right?
Once they have you, they start devaluing all the things they liked about you. That’s why you’re confused and questioning what happened.
They never truly loved you. You were like a drug to them, and when the "high" wore off, they needed more to keep getting that rush.
It’s not personal. Think about a broken toaster. Do you go to therapy when it stops working? Do you keep it on the counter for months, crying and hoping it’ll toast again? Do you remind it how well you took care of it?
Narcissists can’t feel emotions like regular people do.
You’re hurting because you were used in a terrible way. Sometimes, it feels like getting punched in the face would be easier than having your heart broken like this. I went through the same thing and only learned about the disorder months after she left.
You have to accept it for what it is.
They mess with your feelings because you have them. That’s how they’re able to have relationships at all.
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For all appearances, it seems like a narcissist just shuts off their emotions for other people. Yet, in all actuality, there was never any emotions to shut off. The narcissist simply stops playing the role of caring for you.
You no longer serve a purpose, they've met someone new or maybe you hit their ego in a negative way. Plus, we all know how deep it cuts us when someone we care for on such an emotional level doesn't feel the same for us any longer. For some people, having the power to hurt someone that deep or to cause such an emotional upheaval in the life of another, gives them an intense feeling of power.
They give you the feelings of joy, happiness, LOVE….then they take it all away; only to let it be replaced with hollowness, loneliness, emotional despair over your loss. And they are well aware of the fact that you are left feeling broken and half dead inside because they have shut you out and remain cold towards you.
So, as hard as it is to face, we have to recognize that this person never held any actual feelings or regard for us as a person. They only cared about what we could bring into their lives. The person you met and developed true emotions for never existed. They only played the part that you wanted to see.
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They don't shut feelings on and off.
The reality is that, they have never loved you.
Narcissists have an emotional, mental personality disorder. They do not have feelings/emotions of love for themselves or any other human being.
It's hard to perceive this as an average human being. Most of us were raised believing and thinking that love is a normal capability for everyone. Not so!
Even if they tell you they love you, it's not true. They are telling you a lie.
For that reason, it may be perceived as them turning their feelings on and off. When in reality, they were never turned on.
Narcissists are emotionally unavailable.
They are incapable of loving. I know it's hard to understand and accept!
https://www.quora.com/How-can-narcissists-just-shut-feelings-on-and-off-so-quickly-like-a-light-switch-One-minute-they-love-you-the-next-minute-you-dont-exist
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Healthy minded people will resolve conflict if you bring up something that hurt you. Narcissists get their power from keeping you on your back-foot, and having you doubt your thoughts and feelings.
When you are sure of yourself and want to resolve or discuss issues, this is when they employ the silent treatment. They cannot stand to face truth or discuss problems involving their behavior.
I know it’s hard to feel like your thoughts and feelings matter when in the middle of a silent treatment, but YOU DO MATTER. Using silence to control another human is unhealthy and wrong. Keep Healing.
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:nhj:
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:offtopic:
Chosen Ones, Don’t Ignore Your 3 AM Wake-Up God Is Calling You NOW!
The Spiritual Meaning of Waking at 3 AM – Why does God wake you up at 3 AM? If you're a chosen one experiencing frequent nighttime awakenings, you're not alone. In this video, we uncover the powerful significance of the Fourth Watch (3 AM to 5 AM) and how it connects to your divine calling."
Discover how this sacred time holds a deep spiritual purpose, offering moments of divine communication, spiritual warfare, and personal growth. We’ll guide you on how to use these wake-up calls to connect with God, protect your spiritual territory, and receive life-changing insights.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkpGtpnuh5E
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The Narcissist is a Trickster
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBfhTmFUl4I
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Century of the Narcissist
America’s Social Engineering Experiment
How one man socially engineered and manipulated public opinion to create a cultural landscape in America that would be a breeding ground for Narcissist. He worked with the U.S. government, leveraged his Uncle Sigmund Freud and hijacked his theories to empower leaders to engineer consent and create social conformity, blurring the lines between information and propaganda.
We discuss the evolution of mental health classification and assessment, particularly in the military, during the 1920’s-1970s. This period saw the publication of the ICD and DSM, which led to a high rate of soldiers being classified as psychopathic.
We also explore the troubling trends of the time, including the rise of serial killers and concerns about the impact of government-endorsed parenting styles on young adults. The cultural awareness of psychopathic traits in influential figures also contributed to changes in the DSM, including the introduction of narcissistic personality disorder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvrk5fn4zXU
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New supply, old supply, any supply.....the ongoing search to entrap more victims by the narcissist continues!
THE FIRST SIGNS OF THE NEW SUPPLY
The first signs of the new supply. When you were in the relationship with the narcissist, you didn’t know what narcissism was. You didn’t know that they would be grooming multiple people behind your back to be your replacement. It is usually when you’re in these relationships trapped in that narcissistic fog not knowing what is up or down when you lose yourself.
Is it at this point as you are getting weaker than narcissist watching you fall apart. This is when many times they will look to insert a new supply. When you see the narcissist behaving in different ways than they used to behave when you were with them.. this is usually when the new supply is prevalent. See the narcissist will assimilate themselves with the new supply they will take on their hobbies, their style, their words, their mannerisms, etc.
And what the narcissist will want to do is spend less time with you and more time with the new supply as a transition from one fuel source to the next. Again, you weren’t supposed to know what this was narcissism. But now you’re understanding. And the new supply was being vetted and groomed just like you were.
When the narcissist starts behaving differently than they were when you were with them, not only post of bombs/forestage but I’m talking when you were in that relationship being a devalued day and day out when they start having a little spark in their step and perhaps start going to the gym and start being a happier than usual. This is usually when the new supply is right around the corner. Sending you positive energy and abundance.
@JamesNGames
19 hours ago
The first signs of the new supply are a reminder that I was never the problem. It's not me they needed to replace—it's the control they crave, the attention they feed on, and the emptiness inside them that demands constant filling. Watching them sink their claws into someone else doesn’t make me feel small anymore. It shows me how far I’ve come. I’m no longer blind to the game, no longer their puppet. They can have their new supply, but they’ll never have me again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFmEWqRxLEs
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You Don’t Care And
They Hate It!
They DON’T KNOW What
To Do With You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jm-NCvd0-eI
CHOSEN ONES! They Tried to SET YOU UP But Failed Miserably!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VW60aiAzwbs
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How does the narcissist “feel” once if they realise that the empath sees them for what they are?
Highly empathetic people, people who lean into the energy/vibes of others, or people who easily pick up on the emotions of others have a strong advantage over narcissists. Face-to-face conversation with a narcissist is the best time to lean into what is going on underneath. Your intuition is your friend, and it will be nudging you quite often when dealing with a narcissist.
Focus in and the truth will reveal itself. It is almost like being in two places at once. Sure, you are looking the narcissist in his/her face. Sure, you are hearing the words that are coming out of the narcissist’s mouth…but you can also pick up on his/her negative energy (even while you are talking, even when the narcissist is silent). You can also sometimes pick up on the insincerity and aggression surrounding his/her words.
The narcissist is a fool in many different ways, and is no match for those who are able to lean into what is going on underneath. The narcissist will come to realize that you are picking up on what is going on underneath, time and time again. Many narcissists are emotionally guarded and try very hard to keep their fragility/vulnerability to themselves, so he/she will be very uncomfortable when you reach out.
Narcissists feel “naked” when you are able to reach their fragility/vulnerability, and they will quickly pull away, like a turtle pulling its head into its shell. You will notice the narcissist’s discomfort if you are able to pin him/her down. They will know that you are able to see through them, and they do not like this.
They do not like having to take a look in the mirror, and when you confront them with their behaviors/actions, you are forcing them to do this. They will attempt to gather themselves, but they will panic. They may attempt to change the subject, maybe crack a joke or ask you a random question. They are quite afraid of emotional intimacy, and some are quite afraid of being negatively judged.
Some know that you will eventually see what they are trying to hide, and some do seem to know when their time is running out. Some entirely collapse when it becomes clear that you have seen through them for the last and final time. Some truly fear abandonment, and will do everything in their power to drag you back into their toxic mess.
Some will desperately attempt to re-gain a sense of control…to pull the wool over your eyes…to reel you back in. They will lose all control. Contradict themselves. You will hear GO, but you will also hear STAY. They will tell on themselves, tell you of what they are really wanting you for. You will feel their desperation, as they attempt to charm and flatter you back into their caves.
You will FEEL the battle between the false and true self. The false self disintegrates, and the true self comes bursting through. The narcissistic balloon deflates.They are begging you to put them back together during collapse. You must take back what you have said. You must promise that you will not leave.
Think of it as a baby crying out for comfort, crying out for his/her mother as she walks out of the room. You will sense that they want your pity. It will all seem like a very intense, very pathetic display of desperation. You have won if you are able to witness this and walk away with your head held high.
“I owe you nothing. I’m chasing you. I resent you. I wish you would have chased me. You rejected me. I’m too good for you. You’re not on my level. I need to find someone who is on my level. I’m rejecting you. You’re a good person. You’re beautiful. You turn me on so much. Please stay. I’m confused. Find someone else. I have nothing to offer.
Please have sex with me. I’m lost. I’M felafelled UP AND DAMAGED. I can’t do a relationship. Everyone hates me. I’m so horny for you right now. Everyone leaves me. See? You hate me too. Please stop seeing through me. I’m a liar. I’m the shite. I haven’t followed through with anything in my life. I thought you were my mommy. I have no money. I’m so horny. I wouldn’t want to use you. I’m a victim.
Okay, I’ve been trying to use you. Can I use you for sex or? Why did mommy leave me? You remind me of an Egyptian princess. I’m emotionally unavailable. Don’t leave. My life is a mess. I just recently started to care about my life. I’m tired of people felafeling with me! I WILL be successful! You can’t stop me! Everyone will bow down to me one day. I don’t need your help. Okay, I need your help.
I’m scared! Please comfort me. I don’t know what I’m doing. Come on, relax. Let me take advantage of you. I’ll make time. Please feel sorry for me. I’ll see you next weekend, okay?! Hey, I think sweet things about you…yeah, I don’t know…sweet things. That sounds good, right? Damn, you’re sexy as felafel. I get hard just talking to you.
Come on, chill. Stop reminding me of who I really am. So you’re staying then? HA! See? I’m the shite. Wait.. it’s because I’m the shite, right? Yeah, that must be it! I GUESS you can see me again…you know, it’s hard work..being an extraordinarily busy man and all. Mommy’s back! Mommy’s back! I now give you permission to see me again.”
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The gig is up for the narc!!
Cant get his supply fix from someone who knows what to expect.
Its our reaction to all their messiness that gives them their fix.
No reaction, no fix!
Besides the narc hates himself inside and feels a lot of shame. I don't think he could be around somebody who he thinks sees him through his own eyes.
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Empath (Person with a conscience, understanding that they are not the center of the universe).
Narcissist (Me, me, and only me)
For every action, there is an equal, and opposite reaction, and in this case, soooo not expected.
Complete scorched Earth, on both sides.
How did he feel? If his reaction means anything, like I’d stuck a hot knife in his eye, and twisted it, for kicks.
Once I grasped completely, just how malignant this man is, and how much pleasure he derived from hurting me, I did not hold back, in throwing his own shite right back into his lap.
I don’t care how he feels anymore. I agonized over this for months, laboring under the delusions he fed to me, but bit by bit, piece by piece, I sifted through the bread crumbs he left behind, still clinging to the bits of love and tenderness, faith and hope, that existed in my heart, but to no avail.
Being such an ego-driven prick, he couldn’t help but leave it all behind for me to see, as he is so proud of his infidelity and faithlessness, his talent for mind-f*cking the masses.
I heard and felt his rage for two days. I side-stepped his venom, and when he finally grew quiet, I approached him with the last bits of love I held on to, and tossed that into his lap, as well.
How does the “loving” Narc feel, when you give him the same mixed signals he gave you? How does he feel, while sitting mired in the shite that you tossed back to him? How does he feel, when you don’t disintegrate into tears and ashes when he throws the book at you? How does he feel, when he knows that you see him for the naked Emperor that he is?
“Go f*ck yourself,” were the last words that I heard from him. Guess it doesn’t feel so good, eh?
https://www.quora.com/How-does-the-narcissist-feel-once-if-they-realise-that-the-empath-sees-them-for-what-they-are
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Psychological abuse is horrible as you live with someone who regularly treats your relationship like a CIA interview. It’s a “need to know” basis of torture to gather data about you to break you down for their own personal gain.
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Is it possible for a narcissist to permanently discard you if you stood up to their abuse?
This answer is bad news, but I will say it anyway. You guessed it. The ugly narcissist will discard you, in case you are a normal man/woman with no sociopathic traits.
But if you are one of their own species, meaning a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath or even a borderline, the narcissist will stay around to collect fuel. And let me tell you why..
Narcissists love to live in a continuous adventure. That's the main reason most of their lovers are also sociopaths. This is a truth no one will ever tell you. Not even on Quora. Sociopaths dance this pathological No end game with each other. They love the adventure, the crazy making, the fights and the make ups. Dirtier than no others. I say it from experience.
The narcissists I know had very promiscuous women hidden behind their hat. Do you think those women never called them out? Of course they did, probably more than you and I. But the difference was that those women being sociopathic, they would entertain more the psychopath. And if they are higher on the sociopathy scale, they would even keep him hooked forever or for a long time.
So the answer to your question is relative. Are you a narcissist, a sociopath? If not, you most certainly can expect a discard, unless you lend the narcissist your credit card.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Is-it-possible-for-a-narcissist-to-permanently-discard-you-if-you-stood-up-to-their-abuse
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Page 34
Why does it seem like after you leave a narcissist & learn about the disorder, that narcissism seems to be everywhere?
Good question. The answer in my personal and professional opinion is because we live within a “narcopathic system.” In a sense, those of us who were awakened by narcissistic abuse are very fortunate because we have the opportunity to differentiate away and out of this system, breaking the cycle of abuse, while perpetuating life affirming practices into our human family systems.
My definition of a narcopathic system is one that revolves around, is organized by and protects at all costs: psychopathic consumption. Narcissism IS psychopathic consumption of, and unearned entitlement to, resources vital to the survival of others. Our culture is founded on a manic, callous, militarized consumption that is driven without empathy by intentionally manufactured generational emptiness.
Narcissistic abuse (extraction of your emotional fuel, acquisition of your traits, removal and replacement of your identity, gaslighting your reality) is a microcosm of the larger system.
You see it everywhere because it is everywhere.
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There are several reasons;
Most of all, you can see it because you know what it is. You were ignorant of its existence. You didn’t know the name of it. You didn’t understand the psychological motivations behind it. Now you do. So, naturally, your senses can pick it up whenever you see one.
Secondly, you are sensitized. A relationship with a narcissist is a life-changing event. It is the most toxic event of their life, for most people. After such experience, you become sensitive; keen on anything that reminds you of your encounter with the narcissist.
Everyone is narcissistic to a degree. As such, every now and then, people do certain narcissistic behaviors.
People with personality disorders are narcissistic even more. In general, people with personality disorders are self-absorbed and rigid in the thought process. They can’t see the perspectives of others. This is especially true with people with PPD, ASPD, HPD, BPD, and OCPD. Also, a lot of them have impaired or no empathy. So they tend to show higher narcissistic tendencies than the general population. They make up 10% of the whole population, at least. It’s very common.
All in all, it is normal for you to recognize narcissistic behaviors frequently. But it doesn’t mean all of them are narcissists. Some are. But the majority of them are not. Showing a couple of narcissistic tendencies is not equal to narcissistic personality disorder. Just remember to be careful with dealing with such people. Better safe than sorry.
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Simply put…because it is. It's like discovering a new colour in the rainbow and once you've seen it, you see that colour everywhere. Others think you're over obsessive and eventually it becomes pointless telling others “to beware” of what you see because ultimately it means you've moved on…they haven't. You've discovered one of the big secrets to a more peaceful, loving life; having boundaries.
In recognising the behaviours and the types of people that are narcs, the next reaction is to give them a wide berth or keep them at arms length. You realise they can't be trusted and this is the big revelation - not everyone thinks, behaves or treats others with the same respect, worth and belief as we do. Some people just want to use us, exploit us as part of their own little agenda.
This is a huge life lesson and now you've caught on, life really will be a little simpler for you.
https://www.quora.com/Why-does-it-seem-like-after-you-leave-a-narcissist-learn-about-the-disorder-that-narcissism-seems-to-be-everywhere
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Church Narcs
Chosen One!! You Decided Churches Are NOT for You!
Dear Chosen One, you were predestined for something greater. Because Chosen Ones, like you, carry a unique spiritual presence that impacts the world around them, you will discover in our videos the challenges and trials that only Chosen Ones face, and how to overcome them with strength and faith.
Each video provides deep insights into the spiritual journey of the Chosen Ones, revealing secrets and guidance that only those truly chosen can understand. Follow along to recognize the spiritual signs that indicate you are a Chosen One and unlock your true divine potential. Subscribe and join a community of enlightened souls who seek to live their divine mission with clarity and purpose.
@BigHeartNoBS
3 days ago
I left the church but I took God with me.
@JerryJoseph-kz5yt
3 days ago
I have God and Jesus they can't take that away from me.
@IndigoChild60360
3 days ago
I have never felt welcome in a church.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A69RfMW673w
Chosen One you decided that Churches are not for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gh7pLN8oXUg
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Never think you can handle a relationship
with a narcissist.
They always win. You can only ever win by leaving.
WHY YOU NEED TO REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnAqeY3EO5I
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.
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They do not possess the birds eye view, they are simpletons.
The Short-Sighted Mind of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8goXF5-_vvg
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Are narcissists really a form in which demons operate?
Yes, totally. Narcissists act like demons in human form. They hurt and destroy others just to feel better about themselves. They come into your life to use you, abuse you, then leave you feeling worthless like you never mattered to them at all. Narcissists don’t really have anything good to offer; whatever they give you is just bait to get more from you in return.
When you compare narcissists to demons, they have the same goals. Narcissists don’t care about your feelings or your well-being. They don’t feel empathy or guilt. Everything has to go their way, no matter how much it costs you, whether it’s your health, your happiness, or your peace of mind. In that way, narcissists and demons are pretty much the same.
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I have known some very intelligent people who are convinced of this. I too have thought and pondered this question.
There is a government agent who claims "entities" from another world attach to narcissists to harvest our energy through fear. I cannot speak on this, but I did listen to his lecture. Again, I can't say for sure. It's similar to what David Icke has proposed. Is it true or not? I do not know.
But I will say that the narcissist's behaviours are so extreme, that at some point, we all wonder if they are "alien" creatures or "demonic" creatures. I will give you that!
I cannot say 100% of course, I am not omniscient, but the science doesn't support this. Of course, science also doesn't support the existence of ghosts, and I have seen them before.
_____________________________
Yes, absolutely and with 100 percent certainty.
____________________________________
Yes, absolutely!
There are many different mental illnesses/disorders that often have demonic influence, and sometimes even demonic underlying causes.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder seems to have the HIGHEST incidences of demonic influence in terms of mental illnesses, next to schizo-related, psychosis, and a handful of other misc. mental disorders. There is some medical documentation of this, although it is not widely acknowledged as of yet, by the mainstream science and medical communities, not publicly anyways.
I myself am a Paranormal researcher, and both my parents have NPD (my mother being a Malignant Narc), and my ex-wife also has NPD in the worst way, only second to my mother.
And interestingly, all 3 of them HAVE demonic “possession”. I mean, none of them are “possessed” to the degree of the movie “The Exorcist”. When you mention “demonic possession” MOST people make the false assumption that its ALWAYS like what was portrayed in that movie. It DOES happen, but its super RARE. My parents and my ex-wife are definitely NOT possessed to THAT degree - them, like most others under demonic possession, it is MUCH more subtle.
The signs, symptoms, and tells are countless - but in a nutshell, when you look closely at the words, behaviors, mindsets, the intense self-centeredness, the sadism and cruelty, the level of lying manipulating and gaslighting, the scapegoating, the astounding level of their “know-it-all” mindsets, their belief that they’re “perfect” and can do NO wrong, and their utter disregard for others, as a few examples are consistent with “demonic psychology”.
Contrary to popular misconception - demonic influence - whether it be demonic vexation, infestation, oppression, or even possession - ofttimes will “blend in” with existing mental illnesses, subtly and covertly influencing and afflicting the person in any of a countless number of different ways, often going completely undetected.
But yes, NPD does very much have a demonic component to it. Mind you, not all with NPD are demonically possessed - instead they may suffer demonic “vexation”, or demonic “infestation”, or demonic “oppression”, and worst case scenario: demonic “possession”. It could even be as simple as a minor “spirit attachment” It totally varies from one NPD person to the other.
_________________________________
Absolutely. Ever heard the saying “when the devil can’t get to you, he sends a narcissist” ? It’s not a biblical saying but it’s rooted in truth. I believe in the Bible and that it is infallible. If you look at the character of demons in which they operate or more so, Satan himself with demons being followers executing his will - you’ll see it’s the same as a narcissist: selfish, prideful, without natural affection, never deviate from their bottom line despite how their actions and behavior destroys anyone that gets close enough to them to be a major “supply”.
They create doubt, chaos, double mindedness… they are liars/truce breakers, they’re thieves and will never willingly take on accountability for their actions or be repentant. The do not regret their behavior and they only have two tactics to make you do what they want: manipulation and blunt force.
The enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy. A narcissist comes to do the same thing, and if they don’t physically murder you, they’ll damn sure murder your zest for life, your Will to enjoy, your love and trust. So yep.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-really-a-form-in-which-demons-operate
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"Know the Red Flags so you can spot these F*ckin' people".
Loneliness with a Covert Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmryupY4y50
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They gaslight and storm out, not giving you a chance to say anything and then come back later like nothing happened.
What Scares a Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqJo0WOaeW0
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Narcissist's get more fixed in their dysfunctional way of thinking and behaving as they age. They grow into emotionally immature adults who hold on to their grudges until their dying day.
Narcissists Who Are Getting
Older, What Happens to The Ageing Narcissist?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnCJVhBIEQ8
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“God repays evil with sickness”!
3 Biggest Reasons Narcissists Will Destroy Themselves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvettdBlAjU
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10 Nonverbal Abuse Tactics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlLKs53p0z8
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Narcissism is all about being evil.
How Narcissists Project Their Toxicity onto You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh6Cz4oNsJ8
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They run from communication and conflict.. they are weak and cowardly.
The Deep Insecurity of the Covert Narcissist
@mathews0618
1 year ago
They are a nightmare. Constant drama. If you sense any manipulation in a relationship, bounce. Seriously. Don't psychoanalyze them and don't test them. Just bounce.
@nessauk2786
1 year ago
Overts wear a mask, coverts wear a whole body suit.
@kimhumiston2686
1 year ago
When you least expect it is when they do something that has you totally confused and wondering what happened. Snakes in the grass!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoxbjBZUHjY
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What Makes a Narcissist PANIC and Lose Control?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKRfEletsM4
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How to Beat a Narcissist at Their Own Game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_E2cNGDAI0
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Chosen ones, you are being monitored.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7n8XmIvV3g
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WHEN THE NARCISSIST HAS NOWHERE TO TURN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky4t2JeZwbA
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BREAKING: Kamala's Last-Minute Border SELFIE Backfires! Critics Slam Desperate PR Stunt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k7uDt1WLxo
BREAKING: Kamala’s Latest STUNT Pisses OFF 150 Million Americans, Democrats Start WALKING AWAY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHFLTWoskcY
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The Sneaky Mind of the Covert Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbMDTUW63z0
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CHOSEN ONES, They’re TRACKING Your Light!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qcQNrL_Cz0
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They are so concerned about how they look to other people. But they're not concerned ENOUGH to act like a decent human being. That doesn't even make sense.
What a Covert Narcissist Doesn’t Want You to Know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTh0HPitiN8
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Dee Levey
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100009327303678
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💜🐻This morning I was reminded why I do not watch the news nor do I feed off of their propaganda titties.🤬
Just like in the winter time when they tell the public we have snow when in fact there's not even any snow on the ground. Now they're starting to embellish on the fires for better ratings and it breaks my heart😢When I was a child growing up in the 60's you could actually watch the news and know that what they were telling you was the truth and go on about your day. Can't do that anymore😢
I also learned my lesson trying to go to other groups because they can skew the truth and information worse than the news, or maybe they run neck and neck. Now I know why I choose to stick with my groups and my wonderful members and only get information from the professionals that are actually fighting this fire.
Apparently validation is important to me but it's not important to everyone and that's okay. They can do their thing cuz I'm going to keep doing mine💜
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They can’t have an adult conversation.
HOW EASILY THE NARCISSIST REWRITES THE PAST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJHEZMpye84
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Do Narcissists Ever Fall in Love?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zrcid5j0nQ
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Dennis Prager: People hate those who fight evil far more than those who
are evil
October 1, 2024
I realized something very important about the human condition when I was in high school.
I realized that people tend to hate those who fight evil far more than they hate those engaged in doing evil.
What made me come to this conclusion was the way in which many people reacted to communism and to anti-communism.
To my amazement, a great many people — specifically, all leftists and many, though not all, liberals — hated anti-communists far more than they hated communism.
Because of my early preoccupation with good and evil, already in high school, I hated communism. How could one not, I wondered. Along with Nazism, it was the great evil of the 20th century. Needless to say, as a Jew and as a human, I hated Nazism. But as I was born after Nazism was vanquished, the great evil of my time was communism.
Communists murdered about 100 million people — all noncombatants and all innocent. Stalin murdered about 30 million people, including 5 million Ukrainians by starvation (in just two years: 1932-33). Mao killed about 60 million people. Pol Pot and his Khmer Rouge (Red Cambodians) killed about 3 million people, one in every four Cambodians, between 1975 and 1979. The North Korean communist regime killed between 2 million and 3 million people, not including another million killed in the Korean War started by the North Korean communists.
For every one of the 100 million killed by communists, add at least a dozen more people — family and friends — who were terribly and permanently affected by the death of their family member or friend. Then add another billion whose lives were ruined by having to live in a communist totalitarian state: their poverty, their loss of fundamental human rights, and their loss of dignity.
You would think that anyone with a functioning conscience and with any degree of compassion would hate communism. But that was not the case. Indeed, there were many people throughout the non-communist world who supported communism. And there was an even larger number of people who hated anti-communists, dismissing them as “Cold Warriors,” “warmongers,” “red-baiters,” etc.
At the present time, we are again witnessing this phenomenon — hatred of those who oppose evil rather than of those who do evil — with regard to Israel and its enemies. And on a far greater level. Israel is hated by individuals and governments throughout the world. Israel is the most reviled country at the United Nations as well as in Western media and, of course, in universities.
Israel is a liberal democracy with an independent judiciary, independent opposition press, and equal rights for women, gays, and its Arab population (20% of the Israeli population). Its enemies — the Iranian regime, Hamas, and Hezbollah — allow no such freedoms to those under their control. More relevantly, their primary goal — indeed, their stated reason for being — is to wipe out Israel and its Jewish inhabitants. Hamas and Hezbollah have built nothing, absolutely nothing, in Gaza and Lebanon, respectively. They exist solely to commit genocide against Israel and its Jews.
Why did so many people hate anti-communists more than communism? And why do even more people hate Israel more than Iran, Hamas, and Hezbollah?
The general reason is that it is emotionally and psychologically difficult for most people to stare evil in the face. Evil is widely described as “dark.” But it is not dark; it is easy to look into the dark. What is far harder to look at is blinding bright light. Perhaps that is why Lucifer, the original name of the Christian devil, comes from the word “light.”
Why this is so — why people will not call evil “evil” — is probably related to a lack of courage. Once one declares something evil, one is morally bound to resist it, and people fear resisting evil. The fools who mock Christianity — whether through a work of “art” like “Piss Christ” (a crucifix in a jar of urine), the Paris Olympics opening ceremony that mocked the Last Supper, or the Los Angeles Dodgers honoring the “Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence” (men in drag dressed as nuns) — would never mock Islam. They fear Muslim wrath; they do not fear Christian wrath. Yet Islamic wrath has done and is doing far more evil in our time than Christian wrath.
And there is one additional reason for hating Israel — one that is specific to Israel — rather than those who seek to exterminate Israel: Jew-hatred, better known as antisemitism. The people who introduced a judging God and gave the world the Ten Commandments have been hated for thousands of years. Not those who systematically violate those commandments.
https://www.bizpacreview.com/2024/10/01/dennis-prager-people-hate-those-who-fight-evil-far-more-than-those-who-are-evil-1491439/?utm_campaign=bizpac&utm_content=Newsletter&utm_medium=Newsletter&utm_source=Get%20Response&utm_term=EMAIL
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5 Insidious Ways Narcissists FORCES You to become REACTIVE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie71hwZxxBc
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CHOSEN ONES! They Think You Are the NARCISSIST!
(Are They WRONG?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTjE3njr1g8
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Chosen Ones: GANG-STALKED By A Global Crime Syndicate
In this gripping documentary-style story, we delve into the hidden world of a global crime syndicate that preys on individuals through psychological manipulation, societal resistance, isolation, and betrayal. If you’ve ever felt the crushing weight of being alone, misunderstood, or caught in the head games of unseen forces, this story is for you. Join us as we uncover the dark truths behind this invisible game and discover the powerful clue that leads to freedom and reclaiming control of your mind.
Discover how to see through the lies, overcome psychological trauma, and fight back against manipulation. We’re speaking to all those who’ve faced societal opposition, betrayal, and isolation. This is your story of resilience, survival, and a quiet revolution to take back your life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE0Fb01D4gc
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"When you go silent, prepare to be smeared."
What Your SILENCE Means to The Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTnmodNk00o
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We realize there's something called nothingness in the relationship.
When the narcissistic person's MASK falls off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaYX89fZmVY
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How do you take the mask off a narcissist?
This is the one thing you can say to a narcissist to immediately get their mask to slip. If you're unsure if you're dealing with a narcissist, just tell them "no" to anything that they're requesting or demanding.
Say to them, "No, I'm sorry, I can't do that," and see what their reaction is.
If there is an immediate guilt trip, if they feel entitled to you saying yes, if they're trying to talk you out of your feelings, if they are acting really irrational, if they are trying to violate your boundaries, or if they are trying to assert their will over you, then you know it might be a narcissist.
A lot of times, a narcissist is only successful in love bombing you because you're not putting up boundaries. You're not saying no to them. You're worried that they're not going to be in your life anymore if you don't meet their kids after the first week or if you don't go on that trip with them after the first month.
And because of that gross sense of entitlement that narcissists have, they're going to try to talk you out of your "no"s, or use guilt trips, or make it feel like there's an expiration date on their love. That's why the love bombing phase goes so fast. When they're idolizing you, they're trying to trap you into a long-term commitment, and that's when they start to devalue you and ultimately discard you. But that's nearly impossible for that to happen if the relationship goes at your pace.
"No, I'm so sorry, I can't see you every day this week, I'm busy." "No, I don't feel comfortable meeting your children right now; that seems like something for 6 months from now." Make sure that this person is listening to you. If you tell them "no," that is a complete sentence. That is not a "let's open negotiations and find out how 'no' means 'yes'" situation.
_______________________________
Tell them the word “No” Their mask will fall pretty fast.
Give the a gift thats meant as an insult. Like if they think they’re the greatest gardener, a book titled “how to be good at gardening”
Ask them a simple question like, “how are you” and after they answer just reply with a “mmmm” Be calm and disinterested. They can’t stand being irrelevant even though they do it to you all the time. Let out a natural yawn while they talk about how great they are and a good stretch in the air too for bonus points.
Praise someone else when in their presence. Speak very highly about this persons talent and make sure it’s something that Narcy thinks they excel at. Trust me, they’ll find it incredibly difficult to keep their mask on.
Critique them. Like when they put down something you say reply with, “it’s ok Narcy, this is a difficult topic to understand” or tell them their soup is ALMOST as good how your grandma use to make it.
Tell them they look good….pause…today.
Ask them to repeat themselves. Say “I don’t understand you, what?”
Interrupt them.
You can look them straight in the eye and say “Narc, you’re bat sh!t crazy. And everyone knows it”.
Then, leave and never look back or contact again. Don’t be fooled thinking that everyone around Narcy are unaware of the fraud that they are. Anyone who’s around Narcy long enough knows they’re a nut job, just not to the same degree as you. They are either the minions or ones who can’t be bothered and just believe it’s easier to keep the peace and accommodate Narcys temper tantrums than confront them. The comment above will simmer and fester away at Narcys dark soul because they think they’re so grande and nobody sees through them.
All of this was mainly meant to be funny. It’s ridiculous really. This is how ridiculous a relationship with them is. I don’t really recommend doing all this. As much as well all have wanted them to pay for the pain they’ve caused us, remember, it’s what they want. They want you to engage.
I recommend removing yourself from their grip and going no contact. Any energy you give them is fuel. Living your best life IS what rips the mask from them. Staying no contact starves them and most importantly saves you.
____________________________
Tell him/her that nobody loves them or even likes them. Tell them they don't fool anyone with the lies they tell. Tell them how everyone can see through their bs and they just laugh at them behind their back. If they are of the theiving kind, return something they stole to the owner and tell them who stole it and where you got it.
Laugh in their face, and tell them they behave like a baby when they throw temper tantrums. When they are projecting their sins onto you, tell them that you know now what they have been doing to you. Turn it back on them. Lie to the narc, just like they lie to you. Lie to them and grin.
Now, having written all of these things, I need to point out that you will have opened the gates of Hell. The narc will punish you severely. Once you purposely do or say these things, you will never be safe around your narc.
They will plot against you and become 10x worse than they ever were to you before. They won't even pretend to be nice to you. They will lie to hurt you. They will lie when the truth would cause less hurt. They will target you and try to ruin you, they will never be nice to you again.
Beware of a maskless narc. They are the most hideous of all the demons. Once you see a narc for who he really is, you will never see the person you thought you knew him to be ever again. You will only see the demon, and it will send chills down your spine.
https://www.quora.com/How-do-you-take-the-mask-off-a-narcissist
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Treat them like an annoying roommate.
When You Handle a Narcissist This Way,
They Will Eventually Give Up and Stay Submissive
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVWd5i-xDlk
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More Bad Church
To say you were never a piece of sh!t at some point in your life is a liar, but it takes courage to admit it.
This Man was SHUNNED at his BAPTISM for Being REAL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLrWZjy9zL8
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🌟CHOSEN ONES🌟 The HIDDEN STRENGTH of Your SILENCE: Uncover Why It INTIMIDATES Them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvC5QHpCVWU
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
My narc XGF abandoned me at her house, moved away. She calls the other tenants about me but will NOT call me. This is PURE COWARDICE. Is it considered stalking? I think so. A crime? So is abandonment.
Beware!! That Covert Narcissist is Stalking You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6aCl6A7yDY
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What does condescending mean?
Well, let me tell you what it means seeing as you are clearly not very smart.
^^ that ^^
That’s what it means. It’s addressing someone in a patronizing, snooty, superior way. It’s unpleasant, and it happens to us all.
https://www.quora.com/What-does-condescending-mean-1?no_redirect=1
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They learned early how to adopt an overly personal condescending and patronizing tone to "never mean any harm". How fast they come back with pre-sweetened excuses when they get caught.
How Narcissists Thrive on Your Downfall
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLyipMHAOpw
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One day, after a while, you’ll stop caring about the narcissist. God will lift the burden from your heart and bring you peace.
5 Weird Dressing Habits of a Narcissist
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Most people have a new outfit for each day. My X-GF Narc has a new outfit for each HOUR. When she does laundry, the joint looks like a Thrift Store.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DD31uP3MZ8
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They are total predators. What a way to live! You would think they would get tired of this.
How Narcissists are Wired Differently
& How Narcissists are Chameleons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq__HYYBbaw
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Not a minute more. God in all his grace saved me from death by the narcissist.
Life with a narcissist is like a Winston: no taste, no flavor, just a damn waste.
COULD YOU HAVE HELD ON ANY LONGER?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-ydD2Bj3U4
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You know what is even worse than saying "OK"? Just say "K".
SILENCE IS INDEED THUNDEROUS..they can't touch it!!!!
The #1 Word to Disarm a Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhoaD2vlySw
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What are the most misunderstood aspects
of living with narcissistic personality disorder?
IMO the thing almost none knows about narcissists is:
WHY?
Why do they abuse you?
And there is in fact a reason, a motivation for their abuse and surprise, surprise its about THEIR EGO!
Unlike a psychopath, a narcissist does actually have a reason, a rational for hurting you. Its messed up - messed up as ****. But it is a logical reason.
The narcissist has zero self worth. They have to validate themselves through others. And a narcissist can not FEEL LOVE. So how does a narcissist judge either their worth as a human being OR how much you love them……. ?
They HURT YOU……. And if you forgive them - well you must love them.
But how much do you love them? How great are they as a person? Because that’s what love is to a narcissist - a reflection of how great they are!
Well if they hurt you some MORE and if you come back - they must be really great because you love them enough to take it……
So they hurt you some more…….
And more……
And more……
The narcissist abuses you as a way of validating how great they are as a person. The more you take - the grater they must be.
Its messed up logic. But it’s logic.
And what else do you do when you are an empty person who feels no self worth, no love and no self love?
If they weren't so horrifically destructive, you would almost feel sorry for them.
_____________________________
In a clinical sense? Probably how deep and fundamental the challenges for narcissists really are, firstly. This is, in many ways, not a whole person and to a degree, this makes the entire idea of therapy in this situation - for this situation - almost silly.
That narcissists cannot be relied upon to self-report or even understand what they are experiencing, let alone be able to articulate this cogently and accurately.
That narcissists often do not mean the same things as everyone else by what they say and words they use. Often they are just repeating things they've heard.
The extent to which mimicry occurs here. Narcissists are very good at mimicking others. This does not imply any actual understanding of concepts, words, or anything else on their part at all.
The level of difficulty with perception and interpretation here.
The level of disconnection from reality here.
There are many other things as well, but these are probably the biggest misunderstandings. To be clear, in this answer I am referring to people who are pathologically narcissistic, not just people who have narcissistic traits or tendencies.
____________________________
I don’t think people realize just how ‘damaged’ NPDs really are. They “seem so nice”, but it is mostly an act to get others to like and accept them. They really don’t care about others, only themselves. They will throw you under a bus if it benefits them (even if it doesn’t, but they think it will).
NPDs are pathological liars, they gaslight, bully, whine (play the victim), abuse, cheat, steal, and lie some more. They mostly lie to themselves, and so of course lie to you. The behaviors were trained into them from early childhood, and I believe for the most part they have no idea who/what they are. BUT - the harm they do, is just as bad from if they knew it or not.
___________________________
That narcissist is arrogant or egotistical.
Fundamentally a narcissist has a big fear of not being loved. They feel inadequate, insecure, and anxious about this one thing. They then figure out what people want and pretend to be those things so that people will love them. This will not always be the typical narcissistic facade. They will not necessarily project self esteem. They might project vulnerability, victimization. They might project sweetness and empathy. That gets people's attention and concern too.
Narcissist are not walking around thinking they are the bee's knees and taking anything they want. They are walking around in fear trying to hoard what they think is "love". they will trick themselves into thinking they aren't fearful.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-most-misunderstood-aspects-of-living-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder
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Is it possible for a narcissist to be faithful in a relationship?
No, never. If a Narc is not cheating on you physically, they are cheating on you emotionally or cheating you financially; a Narc will never be faithful in any way to another person if you are speaking romantically in a relationship.
They will not be faithful; they demand it but never give it. They will cheat somehow someway, many are known for cheating physically, but there is also emotional cheating, porn, dating sites, and social networks.
People are a resource to a Narc, and they have to ensure that if one relationship fails, another is lined up so they will never have to feel their void. People are nothing to a Narc but idiots to be used.
______________________________
Narcissists are not what they seem to be. They have “as-if” personalities. The feeling these individuals generate in others is amorphous. The target is left questioning herself. No, you cannot trust a narcissist to be faithful simply because he is incapable of sincerity. Without a moral compass, the narcissist will most likely mislead his target in order to dictate her perception of reality.
Domination and control are achieved by misinformation and believing you can trust what a narcissist says is simply fantasizing. Targets often live on false hope, spiritually they become impoverished. Once the narcissist has chipped away at his target’s self esteem, she will lack the emotional strength required to plan an exit strategy.
Exploitation takes many forms. Social, emotional and financial. Once you create a fiction to avoid uncomfortable truths, your identity will been crippled for years to come.
________________________________
Narcissists are unfaithful in relationships. Unfaithful doesn't always mean a narcissist has to cheat on you. When narcissists lie, gaslight, deceive, and triangulate in relationships, they are showing an act of unfaithfulness towards their partner.
Narcissists claim they love you, but they don't love you; they use you. Narcissists don't take any responsibility or accountability in relationships; everything comes from the act of unfaithfulness. When you do exactly the opposite of what you are supposed to do in a relationship, you are unfaithful. Narcissists are unfaithful to all people. Narcissists will stab you behind your back by pretending to be your world; this is also an act of unfaithfulness and betrayal.
A faithful person will always behave positively towards you. An unfaithful person is an enemy pretending to be your lover, family member, friends, colleagues, siblings, etc. An unfaithful person will always hurt you, no matter what the situation is. Narcissists are unfaithful people.
_____________________________
Yes, it is possible for a narcissist to be faithful in a relationship, but it can be complex. Narcissism exists on a spectrum, and not all individuals with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) will behave the same way in relationships. Here are some factors to consider:
Type of Narcissism: Vulnerable narcissists may exhibit different behaviors than grandiose narcissists. Vulnerable narcissists might struggle with insecurity and fear of abandonment, which could lead them to maintain fidelity. In contrast, grandiose narcissists may be more prone to infidelity due to their need for admiration and excitement.
Relationship Dynamics: If a narcissist feels that being faithful serves their interests—such as maintaining a stable image, avoiding conflict, or securing a partner who boosts their self-esteem—they may choose to remain faithful.
Personal Growth: Some individuals with narcissistic traits can engage in therapy and work on their issues, leading to healthier relationship behaviors, including fidelity.
Fear of Consequences: A narcissist may remain faithful if they perceive that infidelity could lead to significant negative consequences, such as losing their partner, damaging their reputation, or facing social repercussions.]
Dependency: If a narcissist feels dependent on their partner for emotional or financial support, they may be more likely to stay faithful.
Overall, while narcissists can be faithful, their motivations and the overall health of the relationship can significantly influence their behavior.
https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-for-a-narcissist-to-be-faithful-in-a-relationship
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What is the best method to confuse a narcissist?
The only way to get successful results in doing this, is all about the silence, all about ambivalence. Not having an opinion, not even thinking "yes," "no," negative, or positive, you're just nothing. You just don't react.
I know that this is easier said than done because narcissists are all about pressing your buttons and making you feel a certain way. But the only way that you stop them in their tracks is by just being ambivalent. They rely on you, on your behaviors, your responses, to determine how they are going to proceed next. But if they get ambivalence, they've got nothing, a blank slate. They don't know how to plan their next move forward.
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When they ask you to do something, say ‘no'. And stand your ground.
Let the narcissist think you are easy to manipulate and control, but when the try to control you, show you are impossible to control.
Don't give the narcissist any strong emotional reactions when they are mentally abusive (i.e. throwing subtle psychic jabs at you, offending you, or triangulating you). Just play it cool and indifferent.
When the narcissist gives you the silent treatment, don't react or plead for them to come back and explain what is going on. Play it right back at them and don't reach out, although this only really works if you are not that emotionally attached to them.
Ignore and avoid them lots. Use the interaction with the narcissist as an opportunity to practice avoidance, which can be very handy when dealing with toxic people.
Find out their insecurities and subtly strike at their insecurities, just like they do to you.
Discard the narcissist before they discard you, and do this before they have replacement supply lined up.
As you can see, there are many ways to confuse a narcissist and even make them miserable. Still, if you know you are dealing with a narc, my only suggestion is to walk away and go no contact if possible. It is exhausting and unhealthy to deal with them, and it can take a long time to recover from such an entanglement.
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Stop showing fear. Say No when you would usually cringe and comply. Don't react the way they are used to you reacting. Walk away when they rage because you now realize they're nothing more than an overgrown toddler throwing a tantrum.
Ignore and don't answer the 30 texts they send in 10 minutes demanding you stop disrespecting them by not answering their text. Tell them the truth - for example, “Why didn't you answer my texts earlier?!?!!!?” “Because you were being obnoxious about it". Ridicule or mock them instead of cowering.
Even something as simple as rolling your eyes or raising an eyebrow with a half smile instead of whatever you usually do. Act like you have a secret, like you know something they don't. Which you do, now. You know they're ridiculous tantruming toddlers. All these things are like waving the red flag at the bull.
The confusion at why the flag won't stop acting irritating is what pisses them off though, so know your narc and plan accordingly.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-best-method-to-confuse-a-narcissist
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They won’t even communicate what’s bothering them or why they distance themselves. They just expect you to know and then rage at you when you call it out - and when they rage, they still don’t even discuss their feelings or the reasons.
Covert Narcissists Won’t Communicate Directly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcAXwrZ5x3k
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Why do narcissists create a problem where there’s not one?
A narcissist is utterly fearful of showing love. Instead they create a drama to get the attention they crave. They are accused of starting the fight. But they cannot, cannot admit to creating the drama, because this would show that they are caring and this makes them weak and vulnerable. They have no choice but to get very angry at the accusation of creating drama even though it is obvious they are in the wrong.
And they will go to great lengths to ensure that they are not found guilty. They cannot risk an apology, and the culpability this entails. They cannot be open to having emotional needs.
After some time the other person becomes unable to involve themselves in absurd, senseless drama. But the narcissist has no other methods to get their needs met. They are left feeling unloved and unsupported and they end up leaving the person who loved them most.
It is precisely when times are calm and plain sailing that the narcissist suffers. They have nothing to go by. They have no self love to rely on. They take no pleasure in the small daily acts of kindness offered them…they are truly invisible to their eyes. They do not understand the pleasure in loving and caring. Gentle days of peace and harmony are a torment to them, and feel instead like a gaping void of emptiness.
Do not bother trying to educate them about all this. By all means love them, but if they need to leave them let them. You will be truly better off, and you will have passed the rest required of you.
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Creating problems, especially domestic ones, allow the narcissist to be center stage. He becomes the observer of his own theatre. Often using tactics of triangulation, the narcissist turns one domestic relationship against the other.
Sexual gratification accompanies his innocent facade as sadism is just beneath the surface. Being distracted, victims start to panic, becoming confused by this sudden turn of events. Not looking for tell tale signs of deception, victims absorb the anxiety and internalize the lies.
Narcissists enjoy creating drama but only if its at someone else’s expense. Narcissists can live incognito for years, basking in the glory of appearing “good” while destroying the peace of those around them. Narcissists hate harmony and look to disrupt it whenever possible.
Others can be happy only when they are totally under the narcissist’s radar. Stay under his radar by keeping your thoughts private and your behavior discreet. Better yet, get out while you can and never look back.
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Narcissists leave behind a path of chaos and destruction
They have a natural ability at this, they do it effortlessly.
They create, engage with, and attract situations, people and circumstances which involve drama, chaos, destruction.
It gives them sense of normality.
They feel less like something is wrong with them by doing this.
For they are always comparing themselves and their feelings, with all that is around them, to gauge their normality.
And because they are a mess inside, it is only by witnessing a mess around them, that they feel a sense of normality, so they can breathe properly and think clearly.
You need to understand, although it feels they are always planning, conniving against you and others to create turmoil – more often than not.
It happens at a more subconscious level.
They are following their instinctive Impulses.
Just like you drink water when you are thirsty, eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are tired, without much thought,
narcissists create chaos and trouble to feel more normal, when they are in need of balancing themselves, or need supply.
And because they are always after these things, balancing themselves and gaining supply, they are always creating trouble.
Although, for the most malignant, sadistic, it goes beyong simply wanting to feel normal, following natural impulses.
They outright get pleasure from your pain, suffering, instability.
And actively plan to take you down.
But that is not much consolation to you.
Whether sadistic or not, they still inflict pain upon you.
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-create-a-problem-where-there-s-not-one
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This can happen before, during or even after the relationships end. Their sensitivity to criticism is unchecked and the smallest inkling of having someone disagree with their perception can cause a lashing out in rage, a silent treatment or discards over simple misunderstanding or over individual preferences.
The narcissists deems themselves smarter than anyone in their circle and if you question his motives, he lashes out and disparages your character in front of many. Some will even discard you in public, shaming you for having a viewpoint separate than their own.
They will boast how they are the leader and are open to differences of opinion, yet when someone dares to disagree, they are thrown out of the family or group and labeled as crazy or stupid or deranged.
Only the narcissist can be the lead/god. Anyone else is just blasphemous. It isn’t easy to run a company let alone a family with someone who thinks they are right from the moment they “Wake, until the moment they go bed”. Heal anyways Survivors.
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Why don't narcissists like happy people?
They are quite happy if it benefits them. Did you win the lottery and are now going to share your winnings with them? Did you inherit a new home? The narcissist will be "happy" for you because it means more supply for them.
They are not happy if you win, and when nothing is in it for them. Then they become very unhappy and try to destroy you. It could be anything from getting a degree in chemistry that they always wanted, or buying a new car that they desired, one that doesn't belong to them.
The irony here is that narcissists like to pretend they are always happy. This is that fake mask they wear, the perfectly happy guy or gal who is always fun at parties, magnanimous, and popular.
They are “grandiose.”
The happy routine is their mask of sanity, it hides the rotten core within and who they really are.
This is why genuine happiness irks them and makes them feel like lashing out at you. They aren’t actually happy, they are empty, shallow, and deluded.
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The narcissist's opinion of themself, depends on how they see themself when measured up against others.
The narcissist does not know, understand, or do, true feelings of happiness.
When they see someone experiencing true feelings of happiness, they feel threatened. They feel threatened, because they feel less than, a feeling which they loathe and spend their lives trying to avoid.
Narcissistic projection is the natural defense here, where they project their own miserable feelings onto others.
When others absorb the narcissistic projection, narcissists feel some relief. Temporary, relief.
The narcissist feels temporary relief, because now they measure up well - on equal footings, to say the least.
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Because their goal is to control you, compete with you, and make you as miserable as them.
All of this is harder to do if you’re vibrating at a higher level.
EDIT: Unless God tells you otherwise, I’d like to encourage you to pray for narcissists. That doesn’t mean you should stay in relationships with them. What I mean is let’s fight back by not being overcome with evil, but overcoming evil with good.
Pray that God doesn’t give up on them. That He grants them repentance and changes their hearts. No matter how we’ve been hurt, let’s seek to forgive those who hurt us. Jesus forgave us. Let’s forgive others.
Keep shining, beautiful person. God loves you so much.
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Because you're harder to control and manipulate when you're happy and carefree. That's why they create chaos and drama- a person filled with anxiety is much easier to control.
The narcissists I’ve dealt with absolutely hated it when I was happy. Anytime I talked about something good happening to me, or just expressed happiness at all, it’s like it killed them. They also became infuriated whenever I simply expressed myself in general, speaking on what I liked, what my preferences were, or anything about me at all. Anything that made me an individual, and god forbid a happy one.
Expressing happiness would either result in anger in the moment, where they would try to shut me down by trashing what made me happy or negating what I just said. Or, later on I’d be met with some passive-aggressive behavior that was designed to take my good mood away. It was strategic, like clockwork. Me expressing happiness guaranteed an upcoming retaliation.
Imagine being so miserable and so insecure that you were compelled to destroy the happiness of others at every turn. I can’t.
https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-narcissists-like-happy-people
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What happens when you no longer show interest in a narcissist?
When you stop showing interest in a narcissist, their first reaction is often disbelief. They think you're playing a game, trying to make them look bad, or hurting their feelings. They might believe you're being selfish or trying to control them.
They just can't understand why you’ve changed or why you’re acting so cold after all they've done for you. They’ll wonder why you’re treating them this way, as if everyone loves them and you’re the only one who doesn’t care.
They might even offer you one more chance to show respect, despite calling you names and saying nobody cares about you but them.
It’s almost like getting a lecture from the narcissist, which you've probably heard before. They don’t understand that their own actions—like punishments, silent treatments, word games, and insults—are why you don’t care anymore.
Their disbelief isn’t about you not caring; it’s about you not caring about them. All their manipulations were meant to make you stop caring about everyone else, but you’ve turned that lack of care back on them.
After their initial shock, they might respond in one of several ways:
1) By showering you with love-bombing to make you change your mind.
2) By launching intense rages and talking badly about you to others.
3) By completely ignoring you if you’ve disappeared from their world.
4) Or they might do all of these things.
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Many say hate is the opposite of love. I believe indifference is the opposite of love.
Narcissists use your interest against you.
Narcissists use gaslighting, blame-shifting, and a constant trickle of “me first” statements after the love bomb in an attempt to train their partners to abandon their own perspective and adopt the Narcissist's perspective. They are ultimately insecure. Mind-f*cking someone into thinking about them first is how they feel important in a relationship.
This one rarely discussed reason why victims have a hard time during a breakup. They are discarded by a person they have come to think about BEFORE themselves. The breakup is a paradigm shift.
Reclaim your independence.
Indifference is a critical ingredient for successful no-contact. When choosing no-contact, do it for you. Reject the narcissists broken mindset, including it’s lies and usery. Evict them from your mind to fully stop giving them supply. Actively replace thoughts about them with your own perspective. Your needs, wants, goals, and joys!
Reclaiming your independence causes narcissistic injury.
Narcissists view you as an object; one they are superior to and one they own. Reject this with a clear, silent signal that you ONLY belong to you. Do this by getting busy living your own life. Too focused to care what they think or do.
Actions can break mental patterns and seed new ones. Build a better life and have fun doing it. Something a narcissist could never do. When they see or hear about you thriving without them, they will be jealous and have regret. But who cares what they think?
You're not a victim, you're a survivor.
It's ok to feel like a victim at first. What we went through is not fair and discards really felafelin hurt. But if you're going to thrive, you're going to have to shake the victim mentality. Don't let this define you.
Survivors are powerful.
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You will begin to come out of a heavy fog. You will be confused and unsure of yourself. But you will begin to live again. You will be free. Free from the negative energy that surrounds you in those relationships.
You may be a little sad but you won’t be talked down to for it. You may be a little bored, only because you ran yourself ragged trying to please them. But you will have a peace you haven’t had for as long as you’ve been with them. And if you are blessed enough to eventually start a healthy relationship, you will realize just how short changed you were.
You will be talked about most likely. Made to be the issue in your relationship. But again you will be free. Free to give all your love to someone who reciprocates. I didn’t realize how much I missed being held. Being appreciated. Being listened too. Having someone who wants you for you, not what you have to offer. You will learn to appreciate your real friends and you will be one hell of a person because of it.
Set yourself free and never look back.
https://narcismdisorde.quora.com/What-happens-when-you-no-longer-show-interest-in-a-narcissist
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Is narcissistic abuse progressive i.e. gets worse over time?
Yes.
This is just one more way it shows that they know what they're doing is wrong.
The way they look at you is in complete and utter disgust because you put up with it, and the longer you do the worse it gets. Eventually they'll increase the torture until you literally snap.
Which is why it's particularly irritating to have people look at victims with the same kind of disgust.
It's like…they want to look at someone with disgust for not leaving a relationship the same way their abusive partner does and then be surprised when they don't gather up the nerve to leave.
If you pile disdain on top of abuse it's really difficult to gather up the nerve to start your life over again, to destroy all the things that have made up your relationship and life, knowing that you're going to face disgust for not doing it sooner.
It's just one of the ways you notice the shittiness of people after you've experienced something like this. It increases the time that it takes to heal and gives narcissists more power.
Way to go, people🙄
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Absolutely!
In my experience, narcissists are watching, they are learning, much like algorithms. They test you on a daily basis to see what makes you tick. Not only with how they can hurt you with abuse but how they can use what you enjoy to their own advantage. They see kindness and emotional empathy as weakness to be used against you.
Firstly, through the love bombing stage, they watch and learn your passions and pleasures and these eventually become tools (weapons) of sorts to be used to gain advantage and control.
Secondly, the devaluation begins, less and less praise and admiration is given and more negative influences offered to break the spirit of the victim. Then the gaslighting begins to force the victim to question their own reality. Once the sense of self is gone, the victim is usually trauma bonded to the narcissist and no more positive influence is ever given. The victim becomes a shell of their former self and becomes what can equate to as a door Matt!
The brightness falls from the victims eyes, and a feeling of despair follows, and the victim has absolutely no idea how or why this has happened.
It’s only through professional guidance and education that the victim can see a way through to escape. Which sadly can take years, and often the victim has little energy to attempt their escape or they have been manipulated into making financial commitments that they can’t change without legal action. They become trapped!
As narcissists age they have trouble hiding their true colours as the superficial charm, and good looks have faded. They appear desperate in their approach to manipulative behaviour. This is why they understand they have to maintain the abuse, and try new and more aggressive ways to keep their supply under control.
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YES.
So much worse.
Here's a timeline:
Lying and telling you you're confused.
Lying and telling you you made them.
Lying and telling you you're pathetic.
Lying and telling you to stfu.
F*cking other people and telling you you're confused.
F*cking other people and telling you you made them.
F*cking other people and telling you you're pathetic.
F*cking other people and telling you to stfu.
At this point you're a paranoid, insecure, desperate and tired looking person.
Which will be used as a reason for the numerous betrayals you'll endure.
The narcissist will be happy and rejuvenated.
While subjecting you to a specofic type of mental torment you've never known before.
Namely, narcissistic abuse.
It starts off with “can't you take a joke.”
And it ends with “Leave us alone pathetic loser, you deserve all the pain you’re in.”
All because you dared to love the narcissist.
https://www.quora.com/Is-narcissistic-abuse-progressive-i-e-gets-worse-over-time
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PAGE 35
What can I say to a narcissist to make him mad?
:tanty: :panic: :jandoor: :mobbing: :troll2: :drama: :vent:
Narcissists get mad when you stand up for yourself. Narcissists take it as an insult; it hurts their egos. You have challenged narcissists. Deep inside, they fear losing control and authority over you. Narcissists will use all their tactics to get control over you.
Narcissists get mad when you act like you don't care about them at all by showing that their behavior doesn't affect you. Narcissists get mad when you stick to the truth and constructive criticism without losing your temper. Narcissists get mad when you start living a happy and good life without giving one percent importance and attention to them. Narcissists get mad when they don't get your reaction and response.
Although narcissists are always mad at you, they are afraid when you show courage and guts without getting afraid of them.
Leaving narcissists is very important too; being with narcissists and standing up for yourself will bring more problems to you from their side. Narcissists will find ways to break you.
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I love this question as honestly so many people are suffering way too much at the hands of these evil people.
You will drive the narcissist crazy:
When you are the hated one and you survive. You not only survive the hatred strategy but become happy again.
When no matter what the narcissist does to trigger your anger, you remain collected and polite. I love it! It takes enormous self discipline.
When we do not show emotions with them. No supply here you monster is the real message.
When we discard the narcissist but please be careful as this is bound to create a narcissistic injury and you can easily become the hated one.
When we don’t take the calls of the narcissist.
When we act unemotional with the flying monkeys.
When we deal with the narcissist in a smart manner.
When we show them that morality pays in life. Stick to the right path and heaven will provide enormous abundance.
When the child of a narcissist calls the crap out of the narcissist parent. With partners, I do not suggest this but with the children of narcissists, yes I do. After all that torture, it will show the child has back bone to expose the parent for all the sick games.
When a narcissist has to face authorities. Bullshit has not managed to get them past this one.
When an alienated parent is reunited with the children!
Please drive all narcissists crazy. They must learn their lesson. Hating and destroying human beings is not a way to live your life.
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Have you considered that there are certain people in your life who covertly enjoy making you angry?
They might hide this hobby of theirs very well, for example by quickly falling into victim mode, in order to swamp you with guilt, make you repent and reset the cycle so they can play the game again.
Your impotent rage fuels these kinds of people, makes them feel important, makes them feel happy that they, being eternally miserable and jealous, have ruined your day.
Punish them with your absence.
Take your anger away from them. Don't spend it on them, invest this energy wisely, into things that make your life better. Ranting and raving, and giving yourself heart disease surely won't. Go make something, tidy something, fix something. Improve your life.
That's how you make a narcissist really, really angry.
https://murkywatersnarcissist.quora.com/What-can-I-say-to-a-narcissist-to-make-him-mad
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Psalm 75:2 God will serve justice upon the wicked in His timing.
Proof God Hates Narcissist’s Actions & They're Cursed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdI_MvsG3-8
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This is What Happens When You Expose the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfiBt1yBaBo
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“No one is more hated than those who tells the truth!”
How a Narcissist Treats Truth Tellers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlJnJr6zeqM
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What is a narcissist’s Achilles heel?
1. Being slighted.
They hate to be slighted, and they get slighted on anything. I mean, it could be the littlest thing. You could just say, "Pass me the towel over there," and they think that you did something to them. Narcissists hear tones, like dogs hear whistles. “What tone? What was that?”
They are so easily slighted. I once knew a guy who was a flaming narcissist, and he came back to his wife one time. He was even saying something about it to my husband and me, that he was walking the dog, and this neighbor didn't say hello to him in the right way. He went on and on about it. He even told us about it.
I mean, it was crazy because somebody didn't say hello to him the right way when they were walking the dog. So, they can be slighted in the littlest of things, but if they feel slighted, then that sends them off. It unnerves them. So that's definitely one of the narcissist's Achilles' heels.
2. Losing.
They are the worst losers, the worst sore losers on the planet. These are the ones that throw the game. The board game goes flying. They're in a huff. Two weeks later, they're still mad, still bringing up, "You're a cheater. You didn't play the right way. You had an advantage." There was some reason why they lost. It sticks with them for a really long time. They are seriously the most sore losers on the planet. So, losing in a competition is definitely one of a narcissist's Achilles' heels.
3. Being rejected.
When they get rejected, they hate that. They want to be the one doing the discarding. They don't want you to go and discard them, because, a narcissist is driven by narcissistic supply. They have no sense of self, so all of it has to come from the external. So, they are supply whores, basically, is the word that I use. They'll take any form of supply.
4. Narcissistic Supply.
Of course, narcissistic supply is anything that feeds their ego, including devaluing, discarding, and doing all the things that they do that are heinous to people. But there are various hierarchies of supply to them, and some supply means more to them than others. And that's going to be the key in creating your leverage, by the way, because they definitely get supply from devaluing you, making you feel scared, intimidated, in fear, paralyzed, and gaslighting you and all of that.
Of course, lots of great supply from that. Wonderful. They love it. But there are some sources of supply that actually mean more to them than that. But being rejected is definitely one of the ones that they really can't stand. When you decide to go no contact, it's just a protection for you.
If you really want to know the difference, by the way, between ghosting, silent treatment, and no contact, check out my video on that. I have a whole video on that. But when you go no contact, it's a way to protect yourself, and they really cannot stand it. So, that's an Achilles' heel for them.
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The obvious answer is shame or anything that triggers shame in a narcissist because they will do anything to avoid it. But there's more to it than that. How does a narcissist avoid shame? Why, by playing a game they've been playing since they were young children.
It's always a chess match with a narcissist, one that they always play to win. It's a game they must play since it's the only way they know how to deal with people. That's a narcissist's Achilles heel. This fatal weakness can be taken advantage of if you understand their game and either choose not to play it or play it on your terms.
You can't beat a narcissist at their own game. They've had many years of practice and are much better at it than you. But you can one-up them by refusing to play at all. That way a narcissist can't mindf*ck you or get anything from you. It's a game a narcissist doesn't want to play because there's nothing in it for them at all.
If, for whatever reason you have to engage with them (because you share children or have to work with them), you can use the gray rock method. Using the gray rock method, you don't give a narcissist any reaction, which is unsettling for them. You need to keep your cool at all times. A narcissist will definitely try to get a reaction out of you, since any reaction, positive or negative, is still supply.
While the narcissist in your life knows how to push your buttons and hurt you, using the gray rock method distances you from them emotionally and effectively neutralizes their game. By going gray rock, you also disarm the narcissist and take away their power over you. Since narcissists are all about power and control, that isn't much fun. And that's the whole point.
https://www.quora.com/What-is-a-narcissist-s-Achilles-heel
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What are the signs that a narcissist is miserable?
Narcissists are miserable in many ways. When they are really miserable , they can be moody and look down on others, which can lead to angry outbursts. They might snap at you over little things, causing emotional harm. They often refuse to help with household chores and can be passive-aggressive, picking on you constantly.
They will show you they are miserable by sulking or acting sad in public. If you ask them to do something they don’t want to, they might throw a tantrum.
A narcissist is miserable when they go on long rants about things or people they dislike. They get upset if someone outshines them in any way. They also feel miserable if you share opinions or feelings they don’t agree with.
They feel bad when they lose at anything. They might make promises they know they will break, but even trying is too hard for them. They are especially miserable when you are doing well, so they will try to bring you down.
Narcissists are often miserable . They live in a constant state of misery, and they believe that if they can make someone else feel bad, it might help them feel better. But the truth is, making you suffer won’t help their own unhappiness.
They think, “If I make others suffer, my misery will go away.” But that’s not true. Narcissists don’t recognize their own pain and try to hide it because they want to seem better than others. When they feel overwhelmed, they take their pain out on you.
Narcissists show their unhappiness outwardly instead of dealing with it inside. Be ready for them to take their anger out on you. They want to control their own feelings and control you, too. They can’t stand being miserable for long.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-signs-that-a-narcissist-is-miserable
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How does a narcissist typically respond, internally and externally, to a sincere apology?
Externally if there is an audience they will act appropriately, internally they see the person that is apologizing as weak and pathetic. Internally they are celebrating another “win”. Internally they are laughing their head off at your ignorance, internally they don’t give a sh!t how sincere you are.
Narcissist live for the hunt, conquest, torture and kill. The more you grovel, apologize, cry, etc the more powerful they feel and at the same time the more they devalue you. They have no capability to feel empathy, so your “sincere” apology to them is just confirmation that they are superior to you; because you are so “weak and stupid.” Apologizing to a narcissist is a waste of time, they simply don’t get it. It might clear your conscience, but it will only encourage the narcissist to be more abusive.
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Externally: that depends on two major factors.
The extent of the wound to their ego. If the wound is deep enough they’ll reject any and all attempts at an apology and then they will unleash a true rage on you. If it’s just a ploy to get their way and they were actually just gaslighting you into thinking you did something that requires your apology then they’ll let you apologize but in either case they’ll never forget. And you’ll hear about this every time YOU are owed an apology. You’ll hear how you f*cked up and they forgave you! And how now you want to blame them!?! Oh, you’ll never hear the end of it.
Their current options. Back to why you’re apologizing. If it was a manipulation and you were being gaslighted then the narc is probably off to a new victim and then they’ll just let you suffer, probably in silence.
This serves two purposes- 1. You’re off their back so they can hunt without your pesky interruption.
2. The silent treatment is torture. You’ll have time to think about what you’ve done! What you’ll do differently if the mighty narc should ever give you the time of day again. And you’ll get desperate.. and that means that he/she can waltz right back into your life and do it all again.
Internally-
Ohhhh lol… Narcs love apologies. They loooove it when we’re on our knees. Especially when they’re the ones pulling the strings. Be sure when you apologize to watch the smugness on their face. They don’t want an apology for the sake of communication/reconciliation they want it because it gives them a chance to stand there like they’re God.
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Never in your life should you beg a narcissist. Apology shows that you are weak which is the main reason why they cause chaos, drama in your life. The moment you go apologetic, the more they spit out rage, fire and their ego automatically increases. They derive joy from you accepting faults from them.
Because of their low self esteem and grandiose behavior (Grandiosity refers to an unrealistic sense of superiority), anytime you apologise, the narcissists immediately see you as a slave and that warrant he or she to abuse you more.
The true fact is that the more apologetic you go, the higher your emotional, verbal and physical abuse by a narcissist. Anytime they start their drama just walk away and you can see or perceive the narcissists feeling shameful or regretful. It is this shame and regret that they are trying to pass on you. Hence, they cause drama and chaos. They make you go dumb and you still accept some shites to apologize for no wrong doing! Walk away now!
Narcissists can never date anyone that challenge their authority, which means they always need someone that can constantly apologize to them. This usually occurs during the devaluation or discard period.
Never apologize to anyone to stay in your life, to come back , or to accept blames!
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-typically-respond-internally-and-externally-to-a-sincere-apology
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How Your Brain Reacts To Narcissists | Deep Dive [COMPILATION]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zztY7tptcL0
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Are narcissists boring?
Absolutely. Once you see them for who they really are, you realize it’s a sign of a narcissist. It’s not just that they talk about themselves all the time; they also can’t hold a conversation and have nothing to add.
My ex could never join in on talks about movies, books, or music. Looking back, I see he never cared about music like I did. I asked him if music was a part of his childhood. I can hear a song and remember where I was at that time, but he said he didn’t know any of the songs I mentioned.
One night, he said some sweet things, but I recognized those lines from a movie I had seen. When I asked if he had seen that movie, he had no idea what I was talking about. He probably just read those lines somewhere. He never had anything original to say. If there was a pause in our conversation, he would just say, “Looks like we ran out of things to say.”
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Absolutely yes as time goes. Initially, you will find narcissists exciting, but with time, you will find them uninteresting and boring. Narcissists are only bothered about their lives, activities, schedules, likes, dislikes, hobbies, and gossiping about others. Narcissists are self-absorbed; they aren't bothered by you; they communicate with you only to talk about themselves or other people.
During the initial stages of a relationship, narcissists will learn about various topics to impress you, but their knowledge will be superficial. Narcissists will only talk about things they enjoy. You literally feel bored hearing about the same thing again and again.
The worst part is that once narcissists are done talking about themselves, they will leave you. Another problem with narcissists is that you can't have healthy discussions with them because they aren't bothered by your views. Narcissists would like to dominate the things they say; if you don't entertain them, they will leave you. Narcissists are boring, irritating, and gossipy.
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Yes. Narcissists are not capable of engaging in fun activities for long periods of time. They can only create the illusion that they are fun and interesting. Their idea of fun is usually to take you to a movie. Something that will distract you from their dull personalities.
Because they already know that if you were to sit down with them with no distractions, you would quickly realize how dull and boring they really are. There would be nothing to talk about. You would have nothing in common with them. You would realize that they're not really about anything. They have no passions, interests or ambitions. There's nothing that makes them tick.
There's nothing that drives them. There's no heart or soul. And actually the reason why they targeted you, is because they don't have any of that. They targeted you, because they realized that you have everything that they are missing. And they were hoping that you would provide that to them.
https://www.quora.com/Are-narcissists-boring
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What makes a narcissist lose their mask?
When you catch someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder in one of their many lies and call them out, their “mask” of charm and control will slip away. This can cause an explosive reaction where they turn into a raging, screaming mess.
You'll see their true self—angry and irrational, reacting way more intensely than most people would. They won’t try to cover up their lies or address them calmly. It’s like removing the pin from a grenade; they’ll attack you with everything they’ve got. Their outburst is meant to deflect from the original question and distract you.
If you keep pressing them about their lies or behavior, they’ll only get nastier and more personal with their insults. They’ll also start pulling away from you and begin looking for a new target.
Devaluing them in front of others will also make them lose their temper and act aggressively.
Another way to make them lose it is by talking to their previous exes. You’ll find that their behavior is almost exactly the same as what you experienced.
One of my favorite ways to get under their skin was to reveal what a terrible person they were to their parents. (I was one of the few people who met their family.) This really gets them riled up, but don’t expect their parents to sympathize with you.
Be careful, though. If you choose to reveal the truth about them, make sure you’re out of their reach and not in contact.
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They can't possibly keep up the charade. It takes too much energy no matter who the supply is. Once the supply becomes stale and they're bored, the mask comes off. But anything that's a blow to their ego that they see as a criticism even though it's not, causes the mask to come off.
Narcissists cannot joke around. They can dish it out but can't take it. Especially don't joke around if the joke is about them. They won't get it or think it's funny. They see it as criticism and that's the worst thing anyone could do to them because they're God, is criticize them. Something as simple as not giving them the reaction they were looking for when they told you a story, would cause the mask to come off too and you have no clue what you did especially if they're passive aggressive.
Not serving them first at dinner. That would be a criticism. My Ex Narcissist’s mask came off when he was drunk even during the love bombing phase I would get glimpses of the real him with the comments he made. There's no logic to their behavior so don't analyze it. You will never understand it.
You can't ever make them happy. They want you to fill the emptiness that they feel inside and it's impossible to do. They look at the world differently than we do because of something that happened to them during childhood that took away their ability to show empathy towards people.
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Masks are very important for narcissists to win the trust and confidence of partners. Narcissists maintain masks till they don't win trust and confidence of partners and till they have interest in knowing partners.
Once narcissists win the trust and confidence of partners, they start losing interest in relationships. Narcissists start getting bored with their partners.When narcissists start getting bored of relationships, they have no problem revealing about themselves because now they don't care to create any impact on their partners. Narcissists will show all their bad behavior and qualities in relationships because they know they have completely hooked their partners in relationships.
Once the mask of narcissists slips, you will realize that they are completely different from what they were at the beginning of the relationship. Just imagine narcissists have to fake so many good qualities and nice behavior just to win the trust and confidence of their partners.
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Narcissistic injury would do it. That would be anything that would or they perceive as would expose their core personality. They are hiding from a self hating and self loathing core personality. They live their life through a mask to hide it from the world. But they also hide it from themselves.
Normal response is to go unhinged get angry and aggressive.
Blaming them for something, holding them accountable for their actions or any kind of criticism are good examples of what a typical narcissist would consider as narcissistic injury.
When it happens to put it mildly they do not work and play well with others.
https://www.quora.com/What-makes-a-narcissist-lose-their-mask
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"They try to find an external solution to an internal problem"
5 Undeniable Reasons a Narcissist is Doomed To Collapse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSiCAMvVFwk
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Miracles Happen
SPECIAL REPORT
| BOMSHELL NEWS!
Narc Warz Cease Fire Announced, sealed with a HUG!
Dateline: Tello's crib
Today, as expected, Sherry came to this location as per monthly routine to collect the rent from the tenants.
Advance word of her wanting to talk to me had been dispatched.
In previous months, Sherry would not contact me, but would yabber-jabber for hours with the "INSIDER".
A fantastic breakthru in toxic relationships has been accomplished.
She said sorry for hurting me, but I hurt her too. Textbook.
In the clinical analysis, this is the "Hoovering" mode.
In a final report, Tello, that's me, agreed to all the Sherry-inspired provisos to be
had so as to insure a secure, longer-lasting residency at this location. [Code Name: CHORES 2.0]
When questioned how this happened, Tello said "I don't believe in Miracles. I RECEIVE them. Trust in the God of my choice, and great patience is key. Today was again, another living proof of such a wild supposition."
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HOT off the Pinterest Presses
| This just in!
:tello: "Are narc memes a thing anymore? You decide."
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:tello: "It's Hoovering. But the deal can't be argued with. Just stay away, I can suffer this on my own."
:smee!: He has been doing that all along......
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A Narcissist is a Mini Dictator
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcumLVrvYMw
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If Jesus Handled Narcissists Like This, So Should You
@Merlin0426
10 days ago (edited)
"It's not love that we're promoting, it's sin that we're enabling." I need to make this my daily mantra.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HERqyH9D46s
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Never Call Out a Narcissist - God Says Do This Instead!
@Divine77777
1 month ago
Stop people pleasing and start God pleasing 🙏
@JessicaLivingOnPurpose
1 month ago
"You will not yield good fruit sharing your heart and frustrations with a narcissist... they simply don't care..."
@Patricia-h4o
1 month ago
THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH A NARRCIST IS BASCILLY STAY AWAY FROM THEM.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlkQp9eEQtM
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BEWARE : An Evil Woman Sent By Satan Will Be Marked By…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkPrWPJR7F8
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5 Mental Illness Caused by Narcissistic Abuse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVLbcbX6lzo
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Narcissists Are Evolving: 7 New Forms of Manipulation
You Need To Know
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aaYg8qT4e8
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Is a Narcissist Lying or
Delusional: Proof Narcissists
Know What They’re Doing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKpYD5vFct4
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A Covert Narcissist is Not Shy They’re This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcPWPms8ZT8
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Do narcissists see themselves as good people?
Narcissists see themselves as good people; they see themselves as kind, loving, and caring. Narcissists have the habit of maintaining their image and reputation among people. When they get attention, admiration, appreciation, and validation from people, they start believing people like them because they are nice, kind, and helpful. Narcissists maintain their reputation in front of people by faking care, concern, and empathy.
Narcissists will tell you that you are a horrible person; they don't have any problems with anyone. Narcissists will make you count how many people value them and how much they are in demand. Narcissists will go out of their way to help people; they will let you know how people talk good about them.
Narcissists will discard people who threaten their image and go against them, calling them bad, but they will never ever question their behavior.
Narcissists believe in their masks. Narcissists will leave you struggling in pain just to help people maintain their reputation.
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Holy sh!t yes, they do on the surface at least.
But, sooner or later someone will call them on all their drama filled abusive bullshit. It will “sting” them, so what will they do? Project their miserable, drunken delusional ass on to you! And if that don’t confuse you, here comes the gaslighting.
They can not and will not accept their shitty abusive personality.
They are so god damn delusional no matter how many people they run off, no matter how bad their own kids despise them, they will NEVER drop the fake self image, it is too painful for them.
So, they will do anything to keep “fooling” people. But they are such a shallow person anyone with a bit of awareness will be on to their bullshit. So, what do they do? They kick it up a notch and go after more vulnerable people. Ones that are lost and vulnerable. Welcome to Quora, they’re here to help you! Don’t you know that?
They prey here, yoga studios, self help forums trying to portray the image of importance that doesn’t exist.
Everything they do is for THEM! Has nothing to do with the person they say they are trying to help. It’s all about their delusional image they have to keep up for “themselves.”
They will take some Mickey Mouse online “emotional intelligence” class and call themselves a therapist🤣🤣
The covert will crash at times. That’s when they will really make you question “what the f*ck you are dealing with!?” And they are good at it.
When you have a want or need, and it doesn’t benefit them or their narrative, you will be “self centered, clingy, needy, abusive, etc” when all it is, is a projection of their whacked out delusion.
So yea, they really think they are good people!
They are the ones here that are calling themselves empaths, spiritual psychologist, life coaches and posting nothing of substance but fake ass memes and sharing others stories because they have no felafeling clue they are talking about themselves.
It will leave the victim confused and mind felafelled. Because they appear to care until you get in their way of delusion of grandeur.
Little do they know the joke is on them.
They have no true friends and have to go through life faking a image that doesn’t exist. And the ones close to them see through it, but are scared to say anything because of the mental abuse they dish out with projection and gaslighting. You don’t upset them.
The unaware narcissist is the most abusive manipulative azzhole you will ever meet. The way they can shut feelings off and blame others is worthy of a special place in hell.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-see-themselves-as-good-people
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@markgordon4619
1 hour ago
Ah quick talkers - that triggered a thought as I worked in Human Resources for 18 years, they know how to walk into an interview room and market themselves,and they weezel their way into leadership positions or they are good at sales. But 6 months in the organization realizes ah we made a mistake. But it is a strength for them.
This is why I say you are a great teacher, you provoke critical thought and ah ha moments
The 8 Greatest Strengths of the Narcissist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qwt8_z40Q4
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Beware!! This is the Narcissist’s Playbook
(Their Ultimate End Game)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oi4yz9DRe3o
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5 Dirty Secrets a Narcissist Hides From You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd6vt1EIHIc
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Pop Culture Psychopaths
:mummy: :mobbing: :troll2: They're all dead now.
@ronaldculley
1 hour ago
Thelma and Louise got nuthin' on these Dames.
Highway Patrol 77 in Lady Bandits
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1y7d1uLPcIU
:smee!: Read the Comments. I did. Not.
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8 Shocking Things Covert Narcissists Do When They’re Alone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0bsAp-bfYw
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They don’t want us doing better than them.
Why Narcissists Hate You But Can't Let You Go: The Truth Revealed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPQ2JhFi5M4
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Will a narcissist fake forgiveness?
Narcissists don't have the capacity to genuinely forgive a person. If you ask for forgiveness from narcissists, it means you have admitted your mistakes, so the narcissist feels they haven't done anything wrong by punishing you. Narcissists take your apology as a sign that you have finally surrendered. Narcissists will treat you badly again and again.
Suppose it was your mistake, then get ready for payback when you apologize to narcissists. Narcissists don't forgive you because their egos just don't allow them to let you go without being punished.
Narcissists will always use your apology as an excuse to treat you more badly in the future. Narcissists will keep reminding you of your past mistakes so that they can commit more offenses.
Narcissists will even brag to people that you made mistakes and then demanded forgiveness. This is how narcissists are going to make you look like a horrible person in a relationship in front of everyone. Narcissists may forgive you superficially, but they will keep grudges on you.
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Yes, very possibly. Just like people who are not narcissists, narcissists will not all behave identically, have the exact same motivations and goals, nor necessarily behave consistently all the time
But in broad terms, if they think it suits their agendas, and will help them get what they want but without too much cost to themselves, then yes, a narcissist might well fake forgiveness.
For example a narcissist being broadly a selfish personality, may well feel that you did them wrong, when you tossed them out of your home after you became aware of what a manipulative, selfish, cheating, mooching, self-centred, egotistical scumbag they were and still are.
This hurt them some, and a few nights without all the 24–7 on demand creature comforts of you and your fridge, wallet and home hurt them some more. All of which is your fault, at least in their narcissist noodle - so they are angry, annoyed and disappointed with you.
But in due course, they realise that as you are (more or less) an easy going, over trusting, and loving soul - as well as the provider of all sorts of good stuff, they can simply tell you what you want to hear, like they forgive you (along with expressing a wish to do better, promising to work with you on making changes, and generally love bombing you) and with a fair wind they will soon get all their “benefits” back and their narcissist racket lifestyle can continue…….
Note well above that the narcissist never promised to make any specific changes, nor even any changes of any sort themselves…….they may well work with you like they said but ultimately it will .be YOU that they see as needing to do better, and to make changes.
But even if they do promise specific stuff they will do, then that will soon be forgotten, and to the narcissist its of no consequence if they don’t keep their own promises to you, as YOU are the one that did them wrong and YOU hurt them, and so they are totally justified in doing whatever it takes to reassert themselves.
Also note that the narcissist has even managed to seize what some will see as the moral high ground here i.e they have forgiven you - as if you are the one that did something wrong.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Will-a-narcissist-fake-forgiveness
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They are afraid of confrontation, which is kind of surprising cause they like chaos. They are cowards.
Narcissists Like To Argue (& The Surprising Reasons Why)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LZQLhZAR0E
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:tello: "Watch THIS!"
IM SORRY BUT THIS IS THE END OF THE ROAD FOR YOU I DIDNT LIKE WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C79hXLtmzc8
Vegas Girl is so...off. Belle couldda kicked me off but no, she kept me on.
Thunder anyone? I didn't TAKE OVER. I was a gracious guest.
SOMETIMES I TALK TO MYSELF THEN WE BOTH LAUGH AND LAUGH
https://www.youtube.com/live/PBz1Au6HEDI
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@bolognapizza
3 months ago
When i worked at an Italian restaurant we had an old couple dine and dash. These people were probably in their 70s-80s. A week later they came back in and the man asked if he had paid their bill. The server that helped them recognized them and said they hadn't and his wife just says "i told you so, I've been worried all week." They paid and ended up becoming regulars. They were so sweet and always tipped well. I hope they're doing well.
Customer fails dine and dash
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/gCywORzY5Vc
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10 Sneaky Ways Narcissists Try to Trick You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q1fUyfqOU8
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Chosen Ones! The SECRET BATTLE Begins Between You and NARCISSISTS!'
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Tm_ZZ_5g7o
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5 Simple Ways to Make a Narcissist Miserable Without Lifting a Finger!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFmuJLjRbCo
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Why is it important to ignore a narcissist?
Let us look at it this way.
You have an old beater of a car. The car still looks good but mechanically it continues to let you down. It is undependable, it is frustrating and it negatively affects your life because you are putting everything into this car just to keep it running so you can get on with your life. It becomes so discouraging that this object that you have loved and cared for is not giving you anything back.
One day you go out to your precious car and the POS will not start…again! You have had enough. You have dumped too much time and too much money into it. You call a tow truck and have it junked, you are done. You feel bad, you miss that old car. You loved it, took care of it and when you first obtained it, it was good to you and for you. Man, you miss that car.
BUT - do you miss it enough to go to the junk yard and have it towed back to your local mechanic so you can dump more love, money and time into it? No, you remember all of the heartache it gave you. You leave it where it is and you move on. You eventually get over that old car. You might think about the good times you had with and in that car, but you still leave it alone.
This is what you must do with a narcissist. You MUST junk it. It is not a person with any humanity. It is broken and no mechanic has the skills to fix the narc, ESPECIALLY YOU! You cannot allow the narc back into your life. Their life is the junk yard and they were (and are) trying to suck you into the yard with them.
In time you got a new(er) car. One that is dependable and trustworthy. One that you took care of and it takes care of you. It gets you where you need to be in your life. It takes you to work and back home. It takes you to the hospital when your father is ill. You drive it through the mountains to clear your head. Although just an object, you can depend on it.
If you ignore the narcissist, in time you will find someone who loves you as much as you love them. You will take care of each other, respect each other and support each other. This person will not want you in the junk yard, they will want you right next to them no matter where you end up.
If you fail to ignore the narc, you will never get out of the junk yard. You will die broken and abandoned next to many other victims the narc abused. Your life will be crushed, but unfortunately not recycled. That is why you must ignore the narcissist.
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Ignoring them cuts off the attention supply and removes you from the immediate circle of destruction. But keeping on ignoring them isn't straightforward.
It's important to remember that they may change tack, stop contacting you directly but try to do so through others. This might take the form of someone new suddenly enquiring how you are or a mutual 'friend' trying to pass on news of the narcissist.
This is called using 'Flying Monkeys' and narcissists are adept at getting others to do their dirty work. The FM's are spying for the narcissist - and providing them with extra attention to boot. It's very hard to blank these sorts of FM attacks, and they often get under your radar. Try being polite but neutral to all these sort of enquiries. 'I'm fine, thanks. How about you?' Don't get drawn into any discussions about the narcissist, unless you are absolutely sure you can trust who you're talking to, just for a few weeks.
After giving up this time, the narcissist will try to contact you again at some point. The biggest gap I ever heard of was after 25 years.
The point of ignoring them is to starve them of your attention and deprive them of the chance to use any form of manipulation to get you back. They will keep going until they find someone else to take your 'role' in their lives.
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Yes, it is generally best to walk away from a narcissist who is trying to manipulate or provoke you. Narcissists thrive on attention and control, and engaging with them often fuels their behavior. Walking away deprives them of the reaction they seek, allowing you to regain control over your emotions and situation.
Flying monkeys, people who act on behalf of the narcissist to manipulate or harass you, are also best avoided. Engaging with them often serves the narcissist’s agenda, so distancing yourself from them can help prevent further drama and emotional distress. In both cases, detachment and establishing boundaries protect your emotional well-being.
Maintaining boundaries with a narcissist and their flying monkeys requires a combination of emotional discipline, practical steps, and self-care. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this:
1. No Contact (NC) or Low Contact (LC):
• If possible, going no contact with both the narcissist and flying monkeys is the most effective way to protect yourself. Block them on social media, ignore calls, and avoid places where you might run into them.
• If you have to maintain some form of contact (e.g. co-parenting, work) low contact is the next best option. Keep conversations brief, stick to neutral topics, and avoid engaging emotionally.
2. Grey Rock Method:
• When interactions are unavoidable, remain emotionally detached. Be as boring and unresponsive as possible, like a “grey rock.” Narcissists and flying monkeys seek emotional reactions, so denying them that makes you less of a target.
3. Clear Boundaries and Consequences:
• Set firm boundaries regarding how you want to be treated. For example, if someone tries to bring up the narcissist or engage you in their drama, make it clear that you won’t participate. If they cross that line, follow through by removing yourself from the situation.
4. Do Not Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain (JADE):
• Avoid engaging in debates or defending yourself to either the narcissist or flying monkeys. They often manipulate arguments to twist your words. Stay calm, and resist the urge to explain or justify your position.
5. Document Everything:
• If the situation is volatile or could escalate, keep records of all interactions. This is particularly important if legal matters (like custody or workplace issues) come into play.
6. Emotional Support System:
• Surround yourself with people who understand what you’re going through and can offer emotional support. It could be friends, family, or a therapist who can provide validation and help you stay strong.
7. Self-Care and Emotional Healing:
• Prioritize self-care practices to rebuild your emotional strength. Engage in activities that bring you joy, peace, and a sense of control. Meditation, journaling, and therapy can help process the emotional trauma.
8. Expect Pushback:
• Be prepared for the narcissist or their flying monkeys to retaliate once they realize you’re pulling away. They might try guilt-tripping, love-bombing, or even smear campaigns to regain control. Stay firm and remind yourself of why you’re distancing yourself.
https://www.quora.com/Do-you-think-its-always-best-to-avoid-narcissists
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1741 Replies
70400 Views
:tello: "Are BOTS jacking up the hit counter? Or are there real humans visiting?
Need to know, and share the love".
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Why is there an epidemic of narcissistic personality disorder today?
There’s an epidemic of cluster B disorder, including narcissistic personality disorder, for the same reason there is a national opiate pandemic. The problem has entered the consciousness of the public and has resonated throughout society because so many people are affected negatively by these issues.
The media has picked up on the great interest in these issues, including popular television programs like Doctor Phil and Oprah. It seems that everyone is talking about it and writers on Quora are no exception.
In such an atmosphere, there are bound to be some mistaken perceptions and individual cases of mistaken charges of narcissistic abuse. The reality is that in most cases, mistakes are relatively few and the charges are likely accurate.
Narcissism occurs often enough in the general population that the odds are good that the average person, whether they realize it or not, will have an encounter at some point in their lives with a narcissist.
Particularly common is the successful narcissistic politician, who manages to bamboozle voters. They may promise to change the lives of those who live on the margin and followers become rabid.
Vulnerable to the wily ways of amorous narcissists , are women with little or no experience with charming men who lie initially to gain the upper hand. Once the victim is hooked in, the narcissist lowers the boom and makes unreasonable demands, including demands for adulation.
Less attention has been paid to the problem of narcissistic women but they too represent a disproportion number of problems to society, nevertheless, their prevalence doesn’t seem to be as prevalent as male narcissists.
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Because the pathology of society is rooted within the confines of this type of thinking. Not to mention the ‘basic needs’ of human beings are often neglected. So in turn, this sort of ego manifests itself to protect itself and to usurp one anothers comforts. In favor of an external chaos to equate to the inner turmoil.
Some of it goes hand in hand with the drivel that is ‘accepted’ as a normalcy in present day society. The bar of inner value and validation is being removed in favor of an externally programmed sense of worth and gratification.
There is too much convenience (Ex: immediate gratification) and not enough realization of what it has taken for society to ‘function’ as it does.
______________________________
The epidemic is probably a combination of two things: One, it is more visible in the public’s awareness now, especially due to the internet and growing consciousness in general; Two, the frequency of narcissistic (and other cluster b) personality disorders is on the rise due to a culture and society that flagrantly rewards and encourages the traits of narcissistic personality disorder.
And as more and more people grow up at the hands of parents and other adults/role models/guardians who have toxic personality disorders, the epidemic spreads. Our culture discourages empathy; it discourages people from looking out for their neighbors or caring about others’ needs and feelings.
It teaches us to exalt our egos and betray our deeper self. It celebrates violence and dominating behavior. It degrades gentle, kind behavior as “weak.” This cultural environment sets the stage for children to develop toxic personality disorders, by teaching them to devalue empathy and compassion, and teaching them that there is nothing more important in the world than seeking power/dominance (ego-exaltation) at any cost, no matter how inhumane the means. This culture hero-worships sociopathic and NPD predators.
Predators and bullies are glamorized in the media. The entire mainstream culture has become a shrine to narcissistic and cluster-b personality disorder.
Every child born has a choice. We are all born with an innate moral compass. We all know right from wrong. But it takes personal strength and commitment to cultivate empathy and compassion, and do the right thing, despite being born into a family and/or society that has lost its way. Each day we must dare to choose our deep self over our egos, and that is not easy or glamorous. It’s the spiritual equivalent of choosing broccoli over a cupcake.
The odds are stacked against the weak-minded and weak-willed, to a degree that was not nearly as intense in previous generations. Luckily, public awareness about narcissistic (and cluster-B) personality disorder is growing, so there is increasingly education about it, and increasing consciousness. This growing shift will help both the innocent victims who are vulnerable to such predators, but will also help at-risk children not to develop Narcissistic (cluster-B) Personality Disorder to begin with, or at least help nip it in the bud before it’s too out of control.
These disorder traits might be able to get spotted early on, and prevention therapy given, to help the child learn patterns of empathy and compassion for others, learn whole-object relations, learn healthy coping mechanisms, and so on.
Perhaps the culture as a whole can start to heal and reorient its value system, at a grassroots level, as more and more people receive help and get educated on it.
https://www.quora.com/Why-is-there-an-epidemic-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder-today
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What are some things NOT to do when you are dumped by a narcissist?
DO NOT appear upset or distressed.
DO smile and show relief. “Oh thank goodness you feel this way, I thought it was just me who realized we are not compatible.”
DO NOT offer excuses, nor accept them from Narcy or yourself.
DO recognize bad and unacceptable behavior, and respond accordingly.
DO NOT believe people will change.
DO realize that actions are driven by the subconscious, and as a result, most people's behavioral patterns do not change without serious inner personal work. The “new supply” hardly qualifies in this arena. To believe otherwise is literally laughable. No one “changes” that quickly or for another person; it doesn't work the way he wants you to think it does. Change takes an abundance of time, serious work, dedication, and follow-through.
DO NOT be convinced that you are worthless. Someone else's failure to see and appreciate your worth does not lessen or decrease your true value.
DO NOT be deceived by appearances. You found out once that Narcy was not what he appears to be. That has not changed either. His appearances are completely fake, though he is a great actor. But the curtain falls on all acts eventually.
DO NOT neglect yourself. You've done that for too long already.
DO NOT rush out and try to jump into another relationship. Use this time to reflect and heal. Enjoy being single for a while. Chances are, you've always engaged in long-term relationships and never really enjoyed the freedom of being single for very long, if at all. (Most codependents are like this, though we do not realize it.) Because of this, you never learned to casually date; you only learned how to dive in with everything you are. It's time to learn how to test those waters before taking the plunge. Learn how to enjoy dating without wholly committing yourself to someone right away.
DO accept that bad things happen in life to good people. anatomical conundrums exist. Nothing changes that. Also accept that good things in life also happen to good people. Learn what you can from this experience, heal, and move on. One bad chapter is not the end of your story. The end of a bad chapter leads to the beginning of a great new one.
________________________________
Oh man, there's so many things.
Do NOT beg or plead its what they want.
Don't talk to mutual friends about your feelings and how hurt you are, you don't know who you can trust yet.
Don't argue, just walk away. They will push buttons and tug heartstrings for fuel.
Don't kinda block them, commit to no contact, it's for your own wellbeing, so stick to your guns.
Don't monitor their social media, they purposely plant triggering statements for you and others to respond to, it's a game.
Don't make time for them no matter how much they beg or how drastically outlandish their need is to contact you. Unless it's your children, family member, or fur baby.
Don't sit idle and twiddle your thumbs, educate yourself on how to deal with people on the narcissistic spectrum to protect yourself in the future.
Don't be fooled, if it sounds to good to be true, it is.
Stop beating yourself for being human and wanting to be loved and accepted. They fooled us, we didn't ask to have our heads messed with.
Don't EVER question your self worth again from the point no contact begins and onward.
Don't let yourself become toxic and bitter, educating yourself about why, what, and how can help you.
Do not compromise your own boundaries again. Build them up, reinforce them, and stick to them, they protect you. And you are the most important person in this. No more flimsy flip flopping when making a decision about a narc, make your no final, you only need to say it once.
Don't go back, no matter how much they beg. No matter how hard it is not to. They don't love you, but they will use your own feelings against you. Unless you're a drama queen, I've found that its better to be alone than in emotionally charged turmoil, I assure you.
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-things-NOT-to-do-when-you-are-dumped-by-a-narcissist
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What Science Just Discovered About Narcissists Will Leave You Speechless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGMzTrc9s8
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Can someone be a narcissist and know it?
They know. They know exactly what they are doing.
They just don’t care.
They are not stupid. They are not people who just go and do without knowing. They know because they manipulate, and to manipulate you need to know what the goal is, and their goal is known to them.
Stop looking at narcissists like they are victims and feeling sorry for them.
They are devious, manipulators, liars and they do know exactly what they are doing and they love thinking they are superior, when they are weak.
They are DANGEROUS because they know what they are doing but pretend to you and even the therapist that they don’t know, and that the other person is crazy and just imagining it.
I fired 6 Narcissists because I didn’t look at them thinking “they don't know.” I knew they knew what they were doing and they were causing so many problems, that they were making some workers depressed and ill.
But I was 10 steps ahead, logged reports and then hit up with management to give them weekly feedback and that is how I was able to fire them.
I just waited for the time they blew up and they do.
They will give you hints, if you listen. Don’t think they don’t know what they are doing. They are doing it to see your reaction, what they can get away with, what buttons to press, and always planning, calculating their every move.
They are smart to some people but to people who know psychology, like myself and dealt with them, they are really stupid, vindicate, with grandiose opinion of themselves and some even on quora would admit that too and take pride in it, and call it confidence.
It’s not confidence.
It’s fear. They have very low self esteem, they can’t help but do what they do to feed their emotion by seeing you get rattled, and playing a game on and on.
Don’t lower your guard.
They know exactly what they are doing.
https://www.quora.com/Can-someone-be-a-narcissist-and-know-it
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STOP WORRYING!! Why Chosen Ones Cannot be Around A Lot of People | C.S. Lewis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9IbSK2Cq5Y
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Top 10 Brainwashing Techniques Narcissists Use to Trap You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oKBSJxK1as
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Beware!! The Narcissist Comes as the Angel 😇 of Light
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk0EwJNCkc0
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Page 36
3 Uncomfortable Signs You’re Headed in the Right Direction (Even If You Feel Abandoned and Alone)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCfaFUQ_3ZE
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:tello: "Crazy post on The Tello Files".
https://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=510.msg731823#msg731823
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This one is especially good
When A Narcissist Dies: The Disturbing Reality of Dying Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FavgHrxc6oY
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1752 Replies
72015 Views
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Chosen One you decided that Churches are
not for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9hoKdzozbI
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What to Say When Someone Belittles You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l686kTH2Rlg
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Jesus Warned US! The Hidden Danger of Narcissists Among Us
| C.S. Lewis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9ZEPQWuSFk
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Untold Childhood Struggles of Every Sigma Male
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXgv7x53wCw
Why Sigma Males Can't Be Brainwashed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbA3sPTtvZc
Why You Should NEVER Cross a Sigma Male
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAYJVRxkGEE
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6 Terrifying Things That Happen When a Sigma Male Gets MAD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmjdZxzyOJY
10 Hidden Gifts Every Sigma Male Has (But Hides)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DTNtHBAIoM
10 Ways Sigma Males “ Clock” sh!tty People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3T0sahsAZc4
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Why Sigma Males Are the MOST Intimidating Men
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nToruQWJg8
Why Sigma Males Are HATED By Alpha Males
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbMR20eScG4
Why Alpha Males NEVER Cross Sigma Males
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1CEMdeeJOs
Alpha: Make the Rules.
Beta: Follow the Rules
Sigma: What Rules?
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Spot ON! This is how my experience on YouTube communities plays out. The smart guy in the room intimidates the masses. It's a THEM PROBLEM.
It's more disturbing than empowering. Why can't they grow their own brain, and use it wisely?
Social engineering is to blame.
They NEVER ran across a person like before. A Jealous Group IS GOING DOWN For TARGETING YOU!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWZjQFv6S08
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They Can't Hide Their Envy Anymore. You were purposely TARGETED due to JEALOUSY.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydxB3mELL8s
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
My mom was a narcissist. She hated my independant energy, unconventional pursuits and brutal honesty. Tuff luck, mom, You ran your game and lost.
CHOSEN ONES | 7 SIGNS, WHY SHE HATES YOU SO MUCH
@thegreatiam8600
13 hours ago
I never heard i love you from my mom.
@deeandrews7051
49 minutes ago
I was a pebble in her shoe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps00kdczU8s
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@CelestiaQuixs
7 days ago
Now-a-days, there are so many people who pretend they are like us--empathetic and sensitive--while, at the same time, still telling us we are too sensitive. So, they are recognizing it's a good thing to be empathetic and telling us we're doing it wrong..."Be yourself; but, not like that."
INFJ, THIS CHILDHOOD LIE IS RUINING ALL OUR LIVES
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym0k_NVr_XU
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Ron Tello Culley
I was gonna say that.
Shirey Mary
@shirey.mary.668344
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CHOSEN ONES!! THEY BUILT THE SYSTEM AGAINST YOU, BUT GOD ANOINTED YOU TO
CRUSH IT !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDLA_xEgmAw
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
This explains a lot! Enemy of the state fits me well.
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8 Signs People Recognize You Are The CHOSEN ONE
@taureanenergyleslie
3 months ago
I was treated horribly in the workplace so bad to the point that I had to quit working. People were always trying to get me fired on every job. I had to retire early and I still get treated bad by some people (neighbor); we can start off as friendly and polite but later down the line people seem to change on me for the worse. I never understood it until a co worker tried to explain being “blessed and highly favored” meant.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hV2NnR1kY4
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They ATTACK Your Character Because They're JEALOUS 💯They did you DIRTY BUT THIS HAPPENED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWTEUFPTOeg
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Your Enemies Are ASHAMED. They Gotta Take Back Everything They SAID
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU9tt0Q8Tyw
Those Who Mocked You Will Bury Their Heads In Shame
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYm6Tf1nDhw
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Chosen Ones THE ONE WHO LAUGHS LAST, LAUGHS BEST
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tpfq22oBB8Y
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Reasons to Avoid Crossing a Sigma Male
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ad8ggz1r0M
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Can someone be a narcissist without knowing?
Ab-so-felafeling-lutely!! I accused the Ex-N of this particular set of sins 2 years ago. Predictably, he played it off. For the longest time, I was under the impression he'd been called out before and was expert level deflecting his mental issues.
Fast forward back to more recent history, I found out quite the opposite in fact. I was going through his Google search history with a fine tooth comb and lo and behold! He had asked trusty Google what the definition of a narcissist was on the exact same day we'd initially conversed on the subject. My head low key exploded, my eyes were popping out in disbelief…the works. REALLY?!?! All that pain, the mistreatment, the dysfunctionality…and he had to felafeling Google it??!!
It spoke volumes upon volumes to me. Not one woman besides myself ever pointed out this teeny little issue with his mentality, let alone connected the dots enough to protest the injuries which occurred frequently when intimately involved with him. Sorry, let me rephrase. THE MASSIVE TITANIC SIZED ISSUES WITH EMOTIONAL WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION BUILT IN AS EXTRA SPECIAL FEATURES OF ANNIHILATION.
Whew. Even now I simply cannot wrap my brain around the concept that not only could he be blind as a bat to remain unaware til the age of 30, but no other lady either saw or was brave enough to express her dissatisfaction in regards to his extremely blatant relational problems.
Well, I'm here to take one for the team.
Trust me when I say….he is very aware now!
_______________________________
Yes it is possible to be a narcissist and not realize it. Some narcissist come into self awareness. Most narcissist do not know they are narcissist. Some of them think they are good people who have made some mistakes. They do no see these patterns of behaviors and the excuses have been life long.
They make excuses for their behaviors saying things like I did not ask to be born this way, I can’t help the hand of cards that were dealt to me, everyone else does it I just got caught, you asked for it, it’s your fault if you would not have done this then I would not have done that. If they hurt you they feel like it’s your fault and you deserved it.
Some narcissist give themselves away and will brag about the things they said and did to others. They will say things like they don’t want to mess with me. You know me and I will mess them up. They think they are defending themselves while constantly looking for others to slight them. They think life has treated them unfairly and people are out to get them. They are the ultimate victim.
They only know they feel better after abusing you. They don’t realize they need narcissistic supply. They know they are being abusive. They understand they are abusive and some may have a feeling something is not right with them. They will have a million excuses for what that something is. For example some may drink and blame alcohol. Some will blame the pressures of work. Some will blame depression.
Narcissist want the world to think well of them. Most narcissist will help friends and strangers and never lift a finger for their family. People’s perception of them is very important. They will not want others knowing how abusive they are behind closed doors.
They are aware of their abusive behaviors. Abusing their wife, or partner supplies them. Even if they are not aware they are seeking narcissistic supply. Notice after hours and hours of arguing with you and tearing you down the narcissist can turn over and sleep like a baby.
While there are self aware narcissist who know exactly what they are many narcissist, the majority of narcissist do not know they are narcissist. And many think they are good people. I think it’s because they compare themselves to serial killers and if they are not a serial killer they think they are good people. They look at the serial killer and think I’m not that f*cked up.
https://www.quora.com/Can-someone-be-a-narcissist-without-knowing
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Chosen one: Your Eyes Are More Scary Than You Think !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtARfRVBMag
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CHOSEN ONES, THEY'VE TRIED TO DESTROY U SINCE A CHILD! GOD GIVES U DOUBLE FOR ALL THE TRAUMA & PAIN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqvL_yXZY1U
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Narcs are victims of their own evilness.
Karma is Ensuring Total Failure for The Narcissist and Their New Supply!
:t2: :goodidea: :dance:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTkB2zzabCY
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:tello: "I'm not so sure about this one".
Narcissists Are Constantly Thinking About You and Will Deeply Regret Losing You!
@hibbertsh
3 days ago
Let them feel the weight of that loss, they need to learn a lesson even if it is a distorted way.
Gives them something to think about, that their unacceptable behavior with not be tolerated by all that they have targeted.
We being empathic, cannot allow them back.
Very interesting content.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izXv6iHQuqQ
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How severe is
narcissistic abuse?
Narcissistic abuse has to be one of the worst most cruel types of abuse. It leaves the victim drained, unsure of themselves and the person who is abusing them. causes depression, anxiety and low self esteem. It can play out as emotional, psychological or physical. They will criticize, gaslight, and covert narcs use passive aggressive statements. They will guilt you and blame you for everything that is wrong. They play demeaning mind games. Deceive and trick. Lies, lies and more lies.
The longer they are allowed to torment you, the worse it will get. It's really bad. It's not over when you get away from these people. You have life long issues with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and PTSD. Healing is possible, but it takes determination, sometimes therapy, the ups and downs of being a victim (good days and bad).
It sometimes takes years to recover, although some never fully recover. It's because the abuse is so thought out and intentional. Purposely done to destroy our very soul.
______________________________
It’s about the most severe form of mental torture you will put yourself through.
Notice how I mention “yourself.” I am trying to get away from taking the majority of the blame for what I went through. I’m big on accountability, but I can take it to a new level.
Yea, I realized what was going on about three years in, hell, might have been year two. But “I” stayed, she wasn’t twisting my arm.
She clearly showed me time and time again who she was with all the lies, cheating, gaslighting and manipulation. But here I stayed, waiting, hoping and begging her to change. That’s like any irrational mindset when in addiction. Hoping the person will change.
If I’d just stayed and accepted the abuse and her as she was it would have been a lot easier. It’s fight it is when it really got bad.
Little did I know I was changing myself in this process. I was doing further damage to an already fragile, and emotional traumatized mind I had no idea was this bad until I met her.
She’s gone now, about 14 months gone. And I still question what the felafel it was. The other day I had a moment where I actually felt sorry for her. I mean, “is that felafeling normal?” Normal, maybe, rational? felafel no!
Someone who lied to you about being married, only to hook you in with deceit and, f*ck your best friend.
Show utter no form of empathy in some of the most miserable times in my life only to double down on my trauma, and gaslight me into believing my reactions were abuse. All while I started thinking I was the narcissists.
I still look back and scratch my head to what went on.
That’s the problem with the Covert type. Their faked empathy, apologizing and tears will create a form of addictive trauma bond that death will seem like a better option of escape, than living without this person.
I actually minimized and justified her abuse towards me. I would continually make excuses for her bullshit all because she would have that “damsel in distress” bullshit.
Looking back, the damage was done long ago. But I stayed 3–4 years longer than I should have. But with my childhood trauma, apparently it felt “normal” to me.
Now I’m left with the hazmat team to clean up the mess I was left with. There was blood being shed before she came into my life. She just made sure to loosen the tourniquet to help me bleed out.
I don’t know what emotions are right any more, I don’t. I get lost in the translation of them all when severe anxiety hits with any perceived sense of an abandonment.
I feel like a nuisance, and hassle to most people in my life. No one understands this bullshit, or childhood trauma for that matter, unless they are highly aware and in tune with theirs emotions.
It’s takes months, or maybe years of research to even begin to wrap your mind around what you just went through. And even then you won’t believe yourself.
How severe does something have to be when a snake has bitten you time, and time again. And with each bite you end up in the ER with the doctor telling you to stop going in the area where these snakes are.
But you ignore the professionals and yourself and keep going back.
Looking, hoping, begging and praying it stops biting you.
It’s about as severe as it gets. Can’t think of anything more severe.
___________________________
The damage inflicted by a narcissist is like an invisible dagger, piercing deep within you. You might think it's their wicked words that cause the harm, shredding your self-esteem and turning you into a mere shadow of your former self. But truth is, it's the behaviors they plant in you that keep this toxic cycle alive.
They master the art of positive reinforcement, only granting their support when you belittle yourself and bow down. These actions, born from their hurtful words, keep you shackled in emotional turmoil. At first, you might brush off their words and actions, pretending they mean nothing, feigning indifference. But as time passes, those thoughts infiltrate your mind, festering like a ticking time bomb. Eventually, the explosion comes, again and again, fueled by frustration and anger.
You find yourself locked in an internal battle, desperately clinging to civility while they relentlessly push you toward the edge of sanity. They eagerly await the chance to taunt you, reveling in your "craziness." Despite your seething fury and lack of desire to do anything for them, you reluctantly comply, all in the pursuit of proving your inherent goodness.
Deep down, you simmer with rage, hidden behind a façade of composure. They deploy cunning strategies, conducting forceful reconnaissance, convincing you they're cheating. They go to great lengths to plant doubt in your mind, leading you on a wild goose chase to catch them in the act. But alas, you stumble upon them innocently engaged in unrelated affairs, leaving you feeling foolish and deceived.
Their manipulation breeds self-doubt, making you question your own perception and interpretation of events. They use this incident as a weapon, dissuading you from ever daring to question their true deceitful actions. The nagging feeling that something is amiss gnaws at your core, but the countless times you've been proven wrong stifles your courage to confront the truth.
A narcissist's ultimate goal is to poison your sense of self-worth. Their hurtful words inflict pain, but it is your submissive response that allows these beliefs to take root in your very being. Slowly but surely, you transform into a vessel of negativity, perpetuating and reinforcing these destructive emotions even when they are absent. As a consequence, you find yourself trapped in a relentless cycle of self-destruction.
You bear witness as your life crumbles into everything you despise, and, tragically, you become the person you once detested. You make excuses, promising yourself that change will come, but now you're caught in a web of torment. Your days are consumed by battling negative emotions instead of truly living. Your thoughts are entangled in rationalizations for the narcissist's actions, all in an attempt to preserve the illusion of sanity and kindness.
In essence, you're ensnared within the clutches of this relentless cycle, yearning desperately to break free from the suffocating grip of negative emotions that dominate your existence. Did I miss anything?
https://www.quora.com/How-severe-is-narcissistic-abuse
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How Narcissists are Part of a Dangerous Cult
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYFcioWrnOs
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Do This and Watch How Quickly a Narcissist Fears You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84QrrNUuqio
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This Video is About MAD Magazine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dcx5RT-tEY
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Watch the Narcissist Trip Themselves Up by Underestimating You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LfthojigKc
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CHOSEN ONES, THEY BUILT THE SYSTEM AGAINST YOU, BUT GOD ANOINTED YOU TO CRUSH IT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1i0WGbX6rFo
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They want you back to finish you off!
THE NARCISSIST DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO REPAIR BURNED BRIDGES!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csRC7chVdNg
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"The forest was shrinking but the trees kept voting for the axe, for the axe was clever and convinced the trees that because his handle was made of wood he was one of them."
- Turkish proverb
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Narcissists Want You To Lose More Than You Think
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
My X-narc GF tricked me into separating me from my tools. In legal terms, I claim this has resulted in LOSS OF PRESENT AND FUTURE EARNINGS. Confronting her about this will probably result in further damages. I need a Mediator.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pVFjjR_HaM
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When You’re No Longer Fooled! Here’s How Narcissists Will Try to Retaliate!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdxP4BAJ0Y0
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Narcissists Are Masters of Chaos – Here’s How They Do It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmweEqpXixE
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The One Thing That Destroys Narcissists, And It Hurts 1000% More Than You Know!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZGzzlhxqgg
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8 Reasons Why The CHOSEN ONES Are Treated Poorly Before The Breakthrough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di8GiX259Mc
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S01E01 Audio Tello Mash
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDQMOnCwMZo
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When you meet new people, you don't try to get them to like you. Instead, you look for reasons to like them.
5 Signs You're a Sigma Male (Without Even Realizing It)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxecZ9THlAc
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:tello: "The things people say about me..."
BORED
Bob Farrell
Oct. 15, 2024
https://youtu.be/UIDjxp3Df-g?t=4121
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How does a narcissist lie to so many people?
Because they want to. It’s their MO.
They are very good at what they do. What many of us don’t understand at first is that they’ve been down this road many many times, especially if you’ve been dealing with an older narcissist.
Also, their mindset is much different than ours, it’s hard to get a handle on until you are forced to recognize it. It’s so foreign to your average bear lol. Although thinking about it I realize that it’s become so predominant that it is becoming very normal to encounter these people in everyday life. We need to be aware.
They dupe so many people because it’s pretty easy to do to an innocent.
The situation I am in now I look more like a narc than him to the untrained eye. It’s just that I know what I’m dealing with and hit back. I just don’t take the sh!t anymore. It becomes a mess lol. Kind of sad what they do isn’t it. And yes if I was 100% I’d be gone and stayed gone. It’s still a process.
My new motto is once you have seen you can’t unsee . It’s changed my life.
Also it’s been my observation that not all of them necessarily know what they are doing or at the least can’t help what they are doing. The malignant ado, the lesser are as much a victim and but you can’t cut them any slack regardless, they will take you down regardless they can’t help it. Bottom line it’s who is they are no matter where they are in the scale. Sympathy will be your undoing here.
Better to just go no contact it’s the only way to be free and live the life you were meant to.
_________________________________
Superficial charm and an ability to create shallow rapport very quickly. They are very good at framing situations to make other people look like the bad guy, and at projecting their bad behavior onto other people. A narcissist injects himself into the life of everyone who is cared by or cares about the supply, building trust with them.
They attempt to manipulate the supply into sabotaging and abandoning their own friendships, and they lie about them and spread gossip and false drama across the social circle of the supply to make them look bad.
They’ll even act unbearable to the supplies friends or family if that is what it takes to drive them away. Once the supply is relatively isolated they love bomb the supply, to keep them hooked, and to hide the impending psychological and emotional abuse.
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Look. A narcassists life is built on lies, deception, dishonesty, manipulation, cheating, etc.
They tell so many lies that they loose track of whats true and a lie. They convince themselves that lies are true. However. They are highly focussed on spreading this blurb to anyone, they taylor the lies to suit the victim they are manipulating. The lie is a tool to get the reward or benefit they seek, and manipulation of yheir current supply. Equally, at the same time they are tailoring different lies to the person they are cheating with whilst with you.
Its best to assume everything being blurted out to you is a lie because it almost certainly is. Absolute craftsmen they are at it. And its extremely difficult to catch them out
A gay friend of mine was told by his narcissist partner that he couldn't have sex with him because he was sore down below from over aggressive self satisfaction. It was later proved that the soreness was because he had sex with his lined up replacement that very morning, aggressively. The two victims did meet and became partners, absolutely incensing the cheating narc to the point he went to the police and claimed he had been raped.
This, after months of investigation was proved to be a lie. Bitter, twisted and dangerous they can become. Whatever their orientation, the narc is almost certainly lying and cheating on a string of old and new supplies at the same time. Giving them a feeling of power and greatness that they can manipulate many people at the same time.
If you are in a relationship with a narc its almost certainly a 3,4,5 way relationship, with lies being blurted out taylor made to keep you sweet. Take for granted that everything is a lie, the relationship, promises, their love for you etc etc, its all a means to an end and the lie is their greatest tool in achieving that.
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I can assure you that every human being can be duped by these evil beings.
They are able to fake so naturally that to me, their acting is beyond Oscar winning! It is incredible and you will understand this only when you have been a victim to one of them.
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-lie-to-so-many-people
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You Outsmarted Everyone Who Tried to Bring You Down, They’re Finally Getting What They Deserve
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkqLMUvk7D0
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10 Reasons Why Sigma Males Can't Be Brainwashed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHkXVmkpO3A
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The only known cure for a person with narcissistic personality disorder. About the Narcissist.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c0u5kLXZ_0
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6 Weird Traits That Prove Sigma Males Are Smarter Than You Realize
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Not my fault that I intimidate people from across the room.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1clNaoDtw_M
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Why do narcissists avoid talking about the real issues?
They do not have time for you. You bore them to death.They never ever cared for you. This is why you get totally ignored all the time. Because they have no problems that you are entitled to know about. Just ask them. They will give you the silent treatment as a punishment. How dare you question what they do or say.
They are entitled.
Just because….If you ask them they will just give you a word salad or totally ignore you all together. Gaslight you with more lies. You will never ever get your question answered. They love to play these games. The narcissist may even pull up something that happened last year now you are defending something that you never did last year by the time you leave you never even got your problem or questioned answered.
It’s totally exhausting to be around a narcissist. Don’t try to figure why they do what they do. Just RUN and don’t look back. You're in a manipulationship not a relationship.
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Imagine that you are dealing with a two-year-old who is having a tantrum. You wouldn't try to reason with the child because you know the child does not understand. The child only knows want and need, and in the mind of a child, these things are one and the same.
They throw tantrums and scream because as toddlers, they have no other skills or tools to use to get needs met. They only have overwhelming emotion because their needs are not being met, and they scream because they cannot meet these needs themselves.
This is the same way the narcissistic adult reacts. They don't all scream or throw tantrums, but the process is still the same: they cannot meet their needs themselves, so they endeavor to create ways to force others to do it for them. They may try manipulation.
If that doesn't work, guilt. If guilt does not work, they may throw a tantrum. If a tantrum doesn't work, they might try threats. If they have to, they might resort to violence. They will keep cycling through this behavior until their needs are met because they cannot take care of it themselves.
A narcissist with no one to meet their needs is like a baby left in the woods alone: helpless. And they know it. This is why they engage in so many of the behaviors that they do, from smear campaigns to gaslighting. They need to make sure the target will continue to take care of them.
They only feel confident of this when they have broken the victim down completely. A narcissist who has asserted dominance over a victim is in control. A narcissist in control is a narcissist that feels safe. When they no longer feel safe, that is when we see abuse in all its forms. There is no real cause for it that can be pinpointed; something in the narcissist's mind has made them feel insecure and so in order to counteract that feeling, they need to assert dominance - preferably over an easy target.
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With my family this was one of the biggest issues I had before I had learned what it was I was dealing with.
it is typical narcissist, they can not and will not take any accountability for the crap they do, if trying to address it when it happens you get shut down and shut up.
it’s still there and in time when you bring it up again it becomes the good old “the past is the past” but every little thing they can hold over your head about any little thing you have ever done is brought up and thrown back at ya, so it only applies to their crap and they all do it!
They can’t stand to hear anything they have done wrong!
the past is the past is just to get you off topic of their crap!
It’s maddening!!!
https://www.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-avoid-talking-about-the-real-issues
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Sigma Males As A Child (10 Harsh Truths)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CohDQSt3s8
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Why Narcissists Hate Sigma Males To Their Bone
@IbanezRG10
4 days ago
"The greatest enemy of a fragile ego is the person who doesn't care if it exists.." that was hard.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlH3uYfFmUg
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Page 37
Your life becomes peaceful when you don’t have disingenuous people in your energy, backward individuals make up most of society few are worth the effort.
7 Hidden Reasons Why Sigma Males Have Few or No Friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZcWfgjKSnk
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Early call......
Tools.
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It was gone and now it's back
Tales from the Narc side - Presented by Ron Tello with a DRUM show!!
Watcher of Crazy
1.18K subscribers
838 views Streamed live on Jan 18, 2024
Please join me and panel guest Ron Tello as we discuss his Tales from the Narc side. Many of you know him as Ron Tello the "Mayor" of Montello, the creative, eccentric, funny and long haired dude that used to live in Montello, NV and known to build and beat a mean drum. After exercising his 2nd Amendment right to protect himself, he was held in Elko Co. jail for 357 days. Once released he was unable to return back to his home and he now considers himself a Political Refugee and resides in California. We will also celebrate his 66th birthday with him. If you would like to send him a few dollars to say Happy Birthday, his paypal info is below.
Paypal email for Ron: m86thecat@yahoo.com
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhHHkTU0FXo&t=2921s
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Why do narcissists think everyone is stupid?
The truth is, narcissists are stupid people who believe they are smart people just because they can manipulate and deceive you by taking advantage of your trust, confidence, and feelings.
Narcissists are cunning; they will deceive you and then make you look stupid. Narcissists are liars and manipulators; they will mix lies with truth to challenge your knowledge, experience, and information to put you down. Narcissists will also take the help of flying monkeys to fool you.
Narcissists believe they are smarter than others, so if people get fooled by them, then it's not their problem or fault. Narcissists regulate their self-esteem by putting themselves up in front of everyone.
Narcissists believe their partners and people are stupid to easily believe their lies and deceptions; for easily believing their lies and deceptions. All their lives, narcissists have taken advantage of people's kindness, trust, and feelings.
Narcissists overestimate themselves and underestimate everyone. In the end, narcissists get figured out. Time reveals the reality of narcissists.
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The narcissist thinks you're stupid when you first let them into your life. They believe you lack intelligence and common sense, considering you an idiot because, in their eyes, they already know they're no good. This is a significant factor in whether they'll come back to you because they prefer to be around people they think are not smart.
It all depends on how you respond after everything you've been through with them. Once you've been involved with them, there are lessons to be learned. You should examine what you did wrong and correct your behavior so that you're no longer the same person.
After learning these lessons, you're not doing the same things you used to do, making you less susceptible to their manipulation. They don't have the same amount of influence and control over you as they did before; you have changed.
However, some people keep going back to the narcissist even after everything they've shown and done. You need to make the necessary changes to your behavior, and then the narcissist will notice that you have changed.
Recognize your worth and importance, but be prepared because the narcissist won't like you anymore. You might lose friends because they perceive you as thinking you're better than them, but, in reality, you've just woken up from the spell.
You're no longer impressed by things and no longer conform to other people's opinions, values, beliefs, and tastes. Your different interests and changed view of life mean you're not eager to be together with other people as you used to be, responding to their requests at hand.
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They can think or perceive or assume that people are stupid. Who confirm or affirm them? Haha... NO ONE. Narcs are toddlers in adult bodies. They only want people to play their mind f*ck games. Let's not partake. We are grown ups.
https://healingfromnarcissisticrelationships1.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-think-everyone-is-stupid
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:rofl:
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The narcissist knows they are addicted to supply and this is why they use “hot-cold” or “push pull” tactics throughout the relationship. The intermittent reinforcement system of rewards and punishments wreaks havoc on the target/survivor’s brain.
In essence survivors become addicted to “hope”. Hope that things will get better, hope that the narcissists will appreciate you again, hope that you still matter to them. The trauma-bond is so strong that some in the psychological community liken it to coming off of heroin.
The trauma-bond is so hard to break that survivors need a period of “no contact” to remember who they were before the narcissist. Keep healing survivors.
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Why do narcissists start to hate you for no reason?
It’s because you have feelings and emotions they don’t, but it’s more than that.
Recent studies show that narcissists actually do think they are better than everyone else, so they take this out on you.
You probably infuriate them when they see you’re more talented, and also have affective empathy.
But in truth, I believe it’s a combination of envy/jealousy, egotism, and they think it’s their right to abuse others. They also think it’s their right because they never got what they wanted, so they take this out on others.
They basically just step on people and don’t care. They think the world owes them everything, and that you do too.
Now you know why so many of them dominate our businesses and governments. They get their way ruthlessly, and don’t care how many people they destroy.
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They have a reason. They have many. They hate you because …
They hate themselves.
You have a genuine happiness about you and they don’t.
They are jealous of you- your life, how you were raised, your success, your decisions, your friends, your family- everything about you.
They have weird voices in their heads telling them negative things about themselves and they project that hate onto you.
NPD makes them hateful people. So, they have no other choice but to hate you.
If you get to know a narcissist for any length of time, you will learn they are angry, unhappy and hateful people. This is simply who they are.
And we all know the phrase, “Haters gonna hate.”
A narc is a hater…all day long.
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The narcissist will hate you for one of two reasons:
You are doing great, feeling inspired, feeling connected to the world and those around you, generally in a good feeling place. And the narcissist is unable to take you down from this high-flying place.
You are feeling down, have no good humour, low energy, unable to provide validation,… and also are lacking in the tangible, like money, quality sex, etc. No good supply on offer.
Ok, maybe if you really screwed with them, like exposed them or otherwise caused a narcissistic injury, they might hate you too.
Narcissists only really “like" people who they can use. And for them the best people to use are those who currently have something good going on, something good on offer, which the narcissist wants to take.
And the narcissist not so much enjoys taking from you, as they do watching you fall, or mourn in the loss of something which was precious to you.
https://narcissistics.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-start-to-hate-you-for-no-reason
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Do narcissists help others in order to feel joy and peace?
Absolutely no. Narcissists help others when they have motives behind it. For narcissists, helping others is about reputation, image, and looking kind and generous. Narcissists help others to gain attention, admiration, validation, compliments, and appreciation. Narcissists help others gain control over them.
Narcissists don't help people for free; they do it because they have motives. Narcissists let people know they are helping others, and they expect something in return for what they have done for others.
Narcissistic acts of kindness are superficial and calculative. Suppose Narcissists are helping or spending money on you; then they want your obedience. Narcissists will invest in you to gain maximum benefits from you.
There are narcissists who have spent huge amounts of money to help people, but they made sure they got recognition, limelight, and admiration. Narcissists don't forget to take credit for helping people to show they are kind and generous.
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Narcissists do like to uplift you –
but only after they have put you down.
Narcissists, aim for the position of both persecutor, and rescuer.
By putting you down, often subtly through their customary devaluation and condescension, they now have the opportunity to be your savior.
But the narcissist's hope, is that you don't correlate your "depressed" state with them.
Instead, you associate said state with some external factor (or factors) which you cannot quite pinpoint, even though it is the narcissist's doing in disguise.
But your upliftment, you associate with the narcissist.
They make sure of it.
You now see them as better than you in all respects, a God-like figure in your life.
Full control over you and your emotions –
not a bad place to be.
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In my opinion, no, they do not. Everything a pwNPD does is to gain something to support their egos…or help boost it. So while they may feel “joy” it is not for the same reason you or I would feel joy. This would go for the type that is considered a “white knight” as well.
I know when my pwNPD did things to help others he wanted the attention both from that person and also from others as he would then boast about what he did for days. If it was just to feel peace and joy within himself, there would be no need to boast, right?
Also, I do not believe a pwNPD can feel peace and joy. Their minds are constantly working, planning, deceiving both themselves and others. Those are two emotions I do not think they can truly feel.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-help-others-in-order-to-feel-joy-and-peace
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WHAT IS ENOUGH FOR THE NARCISSIST?
What is enough for the narcissist? The narcissist is always looking for more and more. They want more time. They want more attention, they want more money, want more relationships. They want more fancy cars, and want more people to fawn over them and adore them. It will never be enough for the narcissist.
The narcissist has an insatiable quench and insatiable appetite for consuming whatever they can get their hands on. They are a bottomless pit. They have a cup with many holes in it that can never be filled. The narcissist knows this ..they will always be looking for the next new person to take advantage of. If they are in a relationship it’s a matter of time before it goes sideways. Each and every narcissistic relationship has an expiration date. We now know this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAmHX77OLH0
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She was always trying to control me…yet she couldn’t even control herself.
When A Narcissist Loses Control Of You
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwYL32PSSDQ
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The most wonderful thing is that the Empaths win and thrive through their self respect and incredible strength and resilience!
When a Narcissist tries to Destroy an Empath, This is what Happens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaXdKolWV_w
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Mike Ermer "Salty Pancakes" The Catalyst of Chaos Amongst Conspiracy
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
What? How did I get involved???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZoToB99yFg
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It's Spiritual Warfare
How God Uses Exposing Narcissists to Set You Free
In this powerful and transformative speech, discover how God exposes narcissists in our lives not to break us, but to lead us into healing, freedom, and purpose. Learn why God’s exposure of these toxic influences is a divine act of love, designed to open your eyes, heal your heart, and realign you with His plan for your life.
Uncover the steps to reclaim your self-worth, embrace your journey to wholeness, and step into the destiny God has prepared for you. Whether you have experienced narcissistic relationships or are seeking spiritual empowerment, this message will inspire and uplift your soul.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9PrFJEpFO4
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Why does my narcissist have a problem with everything I do?
Ultimately, it’s because you have a f*cking narcissist, malclowntented little sh!t that it is.
After that, it’s probably because you think of yourself as an autonomous individual. You did mention yourself as “I” after all.
There is no “I” in “Team.”
“There is an M and an E though!”
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They complain about EVERYTHING - period. YOU are their handy go-to. Narcs are angry, spoiled, selfish, self-absorbed, immature toddlers in an adult body. NOTHING is ever good enough for them. They want every day to be Disneyland, but if you were there every day - that would get boring also.
Such is their mind set. They have zero ability to self-regulate, to find happiness &/or positive feelings w/in themselves, so they constantly look for it outside of themselves. BUT that is simply not sustainable.
Think of a very spoiled bratty child who whines for some cookies. You give them a couple, and then they want more….They would eat the entire pack until they get sick and even throw up. Then they will blame YOU for making them sick, but still want more cookies. THAT is a narc.
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Your narcissist has a problem with everything you do primarily due to the fact they have NPD. You’ve already worked that much out as you’ve called them ‘my narcissist’.
In the beginning, during the idealisation (lovebomb) phase they have targeted you and they need you. What do they need you for? To believe in the mask in order to give them supply. You're supply. Once they’ve set their sights on you - you are their target and the aim of the game is to bait and hook you in, then keep you hooked and trapped in their web of lies, betrayal and manipulation
That’s it.
That’s what it’s all about.
In the core of the narcissist, usually due to childhood trauma/neglect/abuse is a lot of shame and guilt and this has been buried and masked to protect and defend them.
i apologise if this is a trigger but the reality is they don’t love you. They don’t care about you. You are a tool to them to be used and abused, then shelved and later resurrected if you allow it.
To start with they see you as the bright shining light you are but then they see your flaws and weaknesses and they get bored. Everyone has flaws and weaknesses and the narcissist is no exception.
The narcissist has a problem with everything you do because they need to belittle you and to keep or put you down. Why? In order to keep themselves above you, to extinguish your bright shining light and to be all powerful and in control.
They actually have low self esteem and fragile egos (all hidden by the mask). They need others to prop them up and give them attention and validation. They can’t fill their own cup so they take from yours.
They are low level, low vibrational individuals who drag you down to their level. They will never rise up to yours. That’s not how this works.
But then it’s their game and it’s played by their rules and you don’t or didn’t know those rules. Rules normally make the game fair but there’s no fair in Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
They think they hold all the cards and for a while they do until they overplay their hand.
I once heard the narcissist described as the Wizard of Oz. The charlatan con person hiding behind the curtain, scaring people into submitting to and obeying them. Pull back that curtain to reveal the real them and there they are nothing but a coward and a bully attempting to make out they are better than you, they know better than you and you are nothing.
This is projection.
None of this is true. They are fake. The whole thing is felafelled up and fake. You can’t fix them or save them either. The situation will remain the same for as long as you allow it.
I acknowledge we all have flaws and issues but relatively normal people don’t treat others the way they do. We do, however, need to heal from their toxicity which very gradually and insidiously poisons our minds bodies and souls.
This is the drip drip drip effect as it very slowly poisons us. The danger is the longer we stay the more trauma bonded we become and we start to normalise, justify and excuse not only their behaviour but our reactions and our own behaviour towards it and them.
https://explorenarcissism.quora.com/Why-does-my-narcissist-have-a-problem-with-everything-I-do
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@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
Narcissists are incapable of having an intelligent, adult conversation. Look it up.
I don't think they get it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMJNro9XpBM
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Why do narcissists remain evil forever no matter how much you are good to them?
Narcissists lack empathy and remorse; they come into relationships for benefits. The main motive of narcissists is to use and abuse people, then replace them. Narcissists lack empathy and remorse to form healthy connections.
Narcissists believe they are superior to you, so you have to do everything for them. Nothing is enough for narcissists because their sole purpose is to hurt you to feel better about themselves.
Narcissists don't want you to oppose them. If you oppose their needs or demands, then you are a bad person, and they will punish you. You do 1000 things for them; if you don't do 1 thing for them, they will forget whatever you did in the past.
Narcissists take pleasure in hurting you. Your pain is their pleasure because it makes them look powerful and good. Narcissists just can't survive without abusing you, even if you make them feel like the most important person in the world.
Narcissists are evil in human disguise. Narcissists are ungrateful people because you just can't make them happy and satisfied. The best thing is to keep distance from narcissists.
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Because being narcissists is making them seeing people as just sources of supply that they lovebomb to get what they want from them then discard as soon as they are done.
There is no love or empathy for their victims and they consider that being good to them as if that should be the normal and sometimes they may see that it is not even sufficient while comparing themselves to the others as narcissists are never satisfied by what they have.
Because the narcissists while choosing their partners are implicitly admitting that they are better than them and for that they were chosen, they always carry envy and jealousy for them and as they always held comparisons between both of them which is usually for the victims side, the narcissists are developing evil plans for victims abuse to allow them to win that war inside their heads.
They want the victims to continue providing them with their needs and secure their future while they consider them as their enemies that they want to defeat. They are trying to turn them into their slaves which are working for them for free and that just even deserve any sort of appreciation and that will be discarded and substituted by another slave the day that they will not be able to provide what the narcissists need.
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Because they despise you for being what they are not.
They look at nice people and see it as weakness so not only do they think that you're weak and pathetic but they also despise you because they don't have the capability to have any genuine kindness about them.
They're just bitter B!tchez…male and female.
F*ck 'em.
Let them go.
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Because they are morally insane, not legally insane.
https://risingabovenarcissism.quora.com/Why-do-narcissists-remain-evil-forever-no-matter-how-much-you-are-good-to-them
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They push you into anger, then ask
what's wrong with you?
Narcissists Bring Out
Your Worst
@jaialaiwarrior
12 days ago
They will f*ck with you in ways you won't even realize.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vBA0xX7RhWo
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Narcissists & Boundaries: How to Use Boundaries With Narcissists
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O_F54vPsKQ
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The empaths ARE the narcissists' problem. They hate their empath but need them to feel alive.
How Narcissists Curse Empaths: And How The Curse Is Easily Broken
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFe6LWeRZsE
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Why Narcissists Move On So Quickly: The Alarming Truth Behind New Supply!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYFTJRMzKKA
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"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." ~Krishnamurti.
The Psychology of Narcissism - A Modern Epidemic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGQG3grBOrg
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Narcissistic Parents: Unacceptable Abuse They Trained You to Tolerate
@ronaldculley
0 seconds ago
"Don't argue with me".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYG-KWoxHgY
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How does a narcissist tend to react to being exposed?
A Narcissist will get angry most times if their supply becomes acquainted with their true agenda. When called out, they react in anger, forcing the blame onto you and deflecting their actions onto you as their justification. My Narc was famous for saying “I wouldn't have done that, if you had…..” It was always someone else's fault as to why he couldn't do or not do whatever was in question.
They'll never admit fault, EVER. I had proof mine was cheating, as in I got ahold of his phone and saw texts. Even armed with that in his face, he made up another lie as to why it happened that way. Yes, it was the most annoying sh!t to ever spew from someone else's mouth. The fact that he thought it was easier to lie than to just admit that he did that- made me feel like I was losing my mind.
Once you know what they're really doing, they start seeking their much needed ego boost or supply somewhere else. Mine just cheated relentlessly but we still lived together. And that was a nightmare. I didn't exist to him anymore. I wasn't worth it. It makes you take a good look at the person you are - and it will make you question it, too.
Physical abuse. Yes, I think if provoked and if anger exceeds a norm for a Narc, then it is possible. It happened one time with mine. It was such a bad event that a week later I went to the police to get a restraining order and the bruises on my arm and neck looked like it had happened the day before.
Because they don't care about you at all - no empathy, sympathy - and if it is shown, it's all for show - physical abuse is probably a good possibility.
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There are many options that the narcissist may choose, once they have been exposed.
They may run and hide, never to be seen again, hiding their head in the sand until it has all blown over. Most are cowards who cannot stand the confrontation, unless they are surrounded by their flying monkeys.
They will sometimes retaliate with harsh words, spewing verbal abuse upon you in the hope that they will push you back into your shell - confused, dejected, isolated and stripped of any confidence. They have controlled you once, they will try to do it again.
Deny and continue to lie. This is one of the best reactions, as by now you will have seen through all their garbage. You will look at them amazed by the rubbish still spilling out of them. While narcissists are manipulative, cunning, sly and sneaky, they are also for the most part, pretty dumb, and you will realise that nothing they say ever adds up. The stories they tell are absolutely ludicrous, now you have taken off your rose-coloured glasses.
They may become violent, even if they have never been before. They feel cornered and trapped by the truth.
They may accelerate the smearing and quickly, to prove to everyone that you are a lunatic.
If they are confronted with someone who knows the whole truth, they may stand there silently - like a statue, staring blankly as if you had just told them the world was ending. There is no discussion, no conversation, no apology or no disagreement - nothing.
They may use anything in their arsenal of knowledge of you, to impact you in some way - loss of job, children, career, friendships, family… anything they can do to make you pay for knowing the truth about them.
Know that a narcissist (especially a covert), will never accept responsibility or take accountability for what they have done.
They will never apologise for the pain they have put you through (at least not sincerely).
They will always try to blame you for their indiscretions.
They will always portray themselves as the victim.
They will deny, even when you are showing them documented proof of their indiscretions.
They will never allow you to look like the better person in this situation.
They will never try to right their wrongs, and if they say they will it will always be just lip-service.
They will never have a conscience.
They will never feel remorse over their wrongs or the way they have affected you.
The only good to come out of exposing them, is knowing that they will then avoid you like the plague! No contact has ever been so easy! It is also such a nice feeling knowing that they know that you know!
https://www.quora.com/How-does-a-narcissist-tend-to-react-to-being-exposed
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DID THE NARCISSIST HAVE IT PLANNED ALL ALONG
@raanfo
18 hours ago
We are merely "useful idiots" to the narcissists. Good riddance to the 3 I have sent to Block Island over the years. Like you say Andrew, they overplay their hand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EglJORAunzQ
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The Real Reason Narcissists Hate You But Won't Ever Let You Go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykAf5ZRsS90
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The Narcissist Is Demon Possessed & Why I Know This
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFYdDQ_3NsE
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Why Narcissists Always Face Consequences and Lose Everything for Hurting You!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9szTgCGLMms
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Do narcissists play fair?
Narcissists want to win at all costs, so don't expect them to play fair. Narcissists make rules, break rules, change rules, and change goalposts according to their needs and requirements. The main goal of narcissists is to prove themselves right; it doesn't matter how they hurt or destroy you because for them, winning matters the most.
When narcissists are losing or you are having the upper hand in the situation, they will start blaming, gaslighting, deceiving, crying, and fooling. Narcissists will even bring your past mistakes into the situation to defend themselves.
Narcissists will create fake stories, lie, cheat, manipulate, and deceive to put you down to prove their point. Narcissists can act in a passive, aggressive way to punish you. Narcissists will give you silent treatment to punish you for a long time.
The main agenda of a narcissist is to break you down until you don't accept the defeat. Narcissists don't have logic or understanding; they completely operate on ego. For narcissists, winning and reputation are more important than any relationships.
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As far as they are concerned, they play fair.
Narcissists are unable to process the fact that other people have needs, opinions, desires, ambitions, that are different to and independent of their own.
Because narcissists are so lacking in compassionate empathy and the ability to recognize that others matter and have their own needs, narcissists feels they are being fair to the only one that should be treated fairly — themselves.
They are the center of the universe, and expect people to come into their gravitational pull, their orbit. They have this deep embedded feeling that people were born to serve them. And be served, they must.
Anything less than full submission, is falling short of their god-deserved right.
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Their concept of fair denies the fact that they always get the lion's share. If you get an unaffordable gift, they have a motive. I made the living. His money was made for his own hobbies or pleasures. When he finally got a 6 figure job, he starting beating me up.
He was upset to share HIS money. I wasn’t good enough anymore. Had several groomed replacements as he always did. After 44 years we divorced, he remarried and my daughter died. I fell into darkness and was homeless 3 or so times.
Every single person in my family had been groomed over years to believe horrible things about me. I knew they treated me differently but didn’t know why. The truth is that nobody gets away with the malevolent things they have done in this world. There is a long line of those people in my case. The one thing they all share is the belief that money makes everything perfectly acceptable.
https://getoverthenarcissist.quora.com/Do-narcissists-play-fair
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Signs in Childhood That Reveal You Were Chosen From the Start!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsxgJ1ts82Y