Why do empaths make narcissists uncomfortable?
This is easily answered with a direct quotation from the most malignant narcissist I had a relationship with, identifies male (not the most malignant one I know, identifies female*), “I don't do self- reflection.“
It's that simple. Even during casual conversation, empaths, by virtue of their natures, tend to constantly self-reflect and seek self improvement. Not the showy, Tony Robbins fire-walking method (that's designed for narcissists by a narcissist), but going back to school, getting sober, or going on a silent yoga retreat (things that take actual work and commitment).
Because this drive for improvement is in the forefront of empaths’ minds, not only for themselves but for the world (remember, when with another person, an empath’s instinct is to see from other's POV), the empaths can't help but bring the subject up in conversation in some form. The narcissist will always take this as criticism.
To suggest that the narcissist isn't already perfect, that he needs any improvement, is anathema to his self image. To realize that someone he's chosen for supply needs improvement, and will readily admit it, makes her not only weak and pathetic in his eyes but tells him that he made a mistake! She's not the perfect source he's always searching for. But he CAN'T make mistakes because he's perfect, so she must have deliberately, malignly tricked him. But he CAN'T be tricked because his intellect is perfect.
And so it goes …
No matter what intellectual gymnastics the narcissist performs to figure out how this horror occurred, he will make her pay for not being the perfect source.
But the narcissist is compelled, over and over, to search for this perfect empath, a human battery that will never run dry, never criticize, and always meet the impossible demands of his empty soul. He knows this is his fatal flaw, his greatest weakness, but like an addict he keeps going back, unable, even with a new source, to stop searching for MORE FUEL.
So, when you get down to it, a strong empath to a narcissist is analogous to a shaky-handed alcoholic staring at a bottle of booze -- he fears and desires it in equal measure.
*Editorial Note: I feel I need to address my pronoun selection for this particular answer. I'm well aware that there are a hefty number of women narcissists & narcissistic mothers do extraordinary damage. I also know and empathize with the men who've suffered from those same women.
I'm also keenly aware that women aren't the planet's sole empaths, personally and statistically.
My original intent of pronoun selection stemmed from simple mathematics; the percentage of men per capita who fall under the NPD diagnostic criteria is far greater than that of women.
This being said, I do plan to do some editing to eliminate some pronouns, but should I change one element to the neutral “they,” I have to change both, otherwise I'm playing editorial favorites. At that point, clarity & readability goes out the window.
This, I think, is my best answer until grammar catches up to society.