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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 11:47:53 AM »Why do narcissists
discard their partners?
discard their partners?
"Buckle up and hold onto your seats, ladies & gents. It’s going to be a wild ride!"A narcissist will discard of you in the most callous way imaginable. It will come out of left field and hit you right in the face like a hard rock. You will come out of it confused, bewildered and disoriented not knowing how the person who claimed to love every part about you, now thinks you are absolutely repulsing to them.
You can’t understand how one moment you are spending all this time together, staying in touch frequently, to now getting blocked, shunned, cut off and demeaned. You can’t fathom how cruel they are being to you, when all you did was be a kind-hearted person to them. You go from being the centre of their attention, to them now wanting nothing to do with you.
You will be quickly demoted from their supply chain when they have started to get bored of you; which happens with every single person they entangle into their toxic web. Once they have used up all the good things that you have done for them, then they no longer have any care to keep you around.
You were once their favourite and number one pick, but without a second thought they will kick you straight to the curb with a new person already groomed to take your place. This person is now taking up all their free time, and getting all their undivided attention and love-bombing. They are saying all the sweet things to them like they used to say to you. While they are making you seem irrelevant by dismissing you out of their lives, they are telling this new person how special they are. They have found someone whom they consider to be “better” than what you have provided them.
Narcissists want variety, and don’t want to settle down or cater to meet the needs of one person for the rest of their lives. The thought of that is insane to them. They love the idea of people being loyal to them, but that will never be reciprocated back. They want to be able to sleep with whoever they want without question, and expect you to put up with it, or else you will be tossed aside in an instant.
They want to be able to flirt with neighbours, strangers, your friends, your family, co-workers or any random person they met online or at a club and they expect you to look the other way & accept it, or else you are crazy, jealous, insecure and controlling. They want to be able to use their social media platforms as a way to hook up with other people, and could care less about your feelings about it. They want to be able to blow all their money on drinking and doing drugs, partying, the sex industry, gambling or anything other than taking care of responsibilities.
Then they will go and spend all of your hard-earned money too without hesitation. They will expect you to bend over backwards for them, sacrificing your dignity, self-respect and identity, and nothing will ever be enough for them, no matter how hard you try. They used to love hearing from you, and now they find everything that you do or say to be annoying. They will say that you are smothering them, that you are needy, clingy and controlling. They will do all these things on purpose, and then they will turn around and blame you for it. You will finally get to a point where you confront them because it’s just getting too much and you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells just to make them happy.
They will discard of you when you start to call them out on their erratic, destructive, impulsive, irresponsible and reckless behaviour. In their minds they think “How dare you hold me accountable for deliberately hurting you!! Silly you, off you go.” They don’t want to hear any lip about how much pain, hurt, distress or abuse they have brought to your life.
They don’t want to listen to you telling them how upset you are that you caught them lying, cheating, or that you are bothered they flirt with other people. They don’t want to hear about how they are ignoring all your messages, and have been avoiding you. They want to be free to live their lives doing as they please, and don’t want to be held accountable for any of the ramifications of their actions.
They will also discard of you to elicit control over you. They do this just for the fun of it to see how far they can test you. One second you could be having the best time together, and you’ll wake up to only find that you’ve been blocked, they’ve changed their number, they’ve moved, they’ve quit their jobs and basically dropped off the face of the earth.
This will leave you in a state of panic and make you feel so abandoned because you grew so attached to them. You spend all your time just going crazy and trying to make it through each day when you can barely function. They leave you in unbearable pain while they seamlessly move on with their lives and slither like manipulative snakes onto the next victim without any regard for how they’ve left you to bleed out.
They will discard of you but not before they make you feel completely worthless, heartbroken, alone, and devastated. Before they send you off, their goal is to take more supply from you by watching you fall to your knees in pain not knowing how it all came to this. They love seeing you sacrificing everything for them, when they fully know they have others waiting in line willing to do the exact same. You don’t understand how all the amazing memories, and good times you shared are now all crumbled to shambles in pieces while they are creating them with someone else.
They discard of you because they don’t care about you. Really, they don’t. This is the most important thing to understand. While you may actually be in love with them, be loyal, be faithful and giving; they don’t think the same way you do.
They don’t understand commitment, or what it means to compromise for another person. They think of themselves in every moment at all costs and won’t let a single person get in the way of that. They could tell you that they want to spend the rest of their lives with you, that they will never leave you, and the second you turn around, they will be with someone else telling them the same things, and have casted you out of their lives faster then you can blink. They want the freedom to do as they please, no questions asked.
They discard of you because it gives them the thrill of knowing they have dominance and power over you. They love watching you beg, plead, cry, and being in distress, losing yourself over them. They are smearing you to their friends, and anyone else who will listen about what a horrible person you are.
Meanwhile, they are leaving out all the horrific things they said and did to you.
They will call you a crazy, stalking, annoying, jealous ex that won’t leave them alone when you try to just communicate with them. They do this as a way to triangulate you with their new supply and make them jealous. They want to make it seem like they have people head over heels for them, and that they have unlimited options.
They will discard of you because they don’t attach themselves to people. They will use whoever for whatever benefits them, and once something more enticing comes along, then it’s goodbye for you without a moments notice. They may cut you off for days, weeks, months or even years and then suddenly reappear if it suits their needs.
It doesn’t matter how much time passed, or how much damage they caused, they feel that they can come and go whenever they wish. They ensure that they choose the most empathic people, because we are the most forgiving. They will know all the right things to say and do to win you over again and it will just be the same repetitive cycle of abuse.
They will discard of you at the worst possible time. You could be going through some really difficult challenges and they will use this opportunity to abandon you. They do this to show you that they refuse to hold your hand through the tough times, and be someone you can depend on.
They will find whatever you are going through to be an inconvenience to them, so they will just drop you for one of their other supplies that isn’t “whining and complaining” and that is available for them at their beck and call. They will discard you during birthdays,holidays or any special occasion. If you are looking forward to something, they will find a way to ruin it for you and pull the disappearing act by ghosting you, giving you the silent treatment and refusing to engage with you.
They will also discard of you to make sure that you are submissive and complacent for future use. If they cut you off as punishment for standing up for yourself and you came back around begging, then they know they will have you right in the palm of their hands when they decide to worm their way back in, because you so desperately want to work things out with them.
You are willing to forget everything that happened just to get the chance to see them again. You are willing to sacrifice your own boundaries to allow a more open relationship that suits their needs because you don’t want to risk losing them again. You are willing to experiment sexually in ways you never have before just to keep them satisfied.
It’s all madness!
They treat you like a slave, and will leave you in an instant no matter how much you loved them, cared for them, or how long you’ve known them. It doesn’t matter if you have been together for decades, months or weeks; they will do what they want, when they want, with who they want, for as long as they live.
They will discard of you mercilessly, and without any remorse. They will do it unexpectedly like they are holding a gun to the back of your head & pull the trigger after they hear your cries. They will come at you full force like a blunt trauma impact and watch you suffer. They will stab you in the back, and twist the knife even further each time you keep letting them come back for more.
Once they discard of you, please take my advice and don’t ever lower yourself to chase after a person who cut you out so ruthlessly. They aren’t worth your time, your tears, your compassion, your effort, or your love. The longer you stay with them, and the longer you wait around for them to decide to want you again, you will lose yourself a little more each time until you no longer even recognize who you are.
That’s not a life worth living for any of us. Every person deserves to be loved back when they give their all. Nobody should have to endure abuse, being cheated on and repeatedly disrespected just for one person. We wouldn’t want our friends or family to go through that, so why would we want that for ourselves? Don’t ever think that you aren’t good enough, or that you won’t ever find someone else, or that you won’t be happy.
Anything is better (even being alone) then being constantly hurt, used, walked on, degraded, betrayed and tossed away like garbage.
“The people that are quick to walk away, are the ones who never intended to stay.”
