The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)

[tellomon]

Defamation? Libel? Slander? Yo Momma!

I'm the Montello Foot Shooter.

Like who cares about a town's feet?

Stiupd media. I hate those guys.


ok ok...306, happy now?

[tellomon]

Is Blackmail racist?

Or White Rabbit?

Or Green eggs and ham?

Or White Wash? White House?

Or, why don't we stop it already?

Flesh is thicker than words.
You talk too much.

[tellomon]

Goddammit now you did it.

I gotta do a beer run to work up the nerve to return to this task.

Oh, it's so easy for you, all you need and use is eyeballs.

I gotta use fingers and cigarettes.

The Greats precede me.
I can live with that.
Prolly do.

Let me tell you what's gonna happen.
I'm going to Easy's.

There's gonna be a milk carton saying
"Have you seen me?"

It's smee.

[tellomon]

I don't hate the Bloke.

As Lotus says "Ya gotta care to hate".

I'm just not that evolved.

Are we there yet?

Now, you put Yibs on display and I will go
Buford Pusser on his ass. Or not.
Depends on the weather.

2 Amigos is a lonely number. Ask smee, he will lie about it too.

[tellomon]

This is worse than South Park, where the boys replace Kenny with Tweek.

Here at the OZRT, there are no replacement parts.
No Detachable Penis. No Virtual Vag. No weapons-grade flying nipples. No Ice Cream eruptions.
This is deprivation. hardship. poverty and despair.

And that's the UPside.

The downside is: No TV. No dinner. No TV dinner. No smoking or surfing in the Lobby past 10 PM.

[tellomon]

Hey you know what? If ya wanna get to the Bottom Line, fast-forward.
It works on all formats including e-Flesh Player.

[tellomon]

Smell that?
Jerky!
And I like her....

[tellomon]

1178609 Views

[tellomon]

So pretty. Fresh. 5000 miles away.

I don't know what peeps are doing lately, but I never gave a hug or copped a feel thru the Internet.

[tellomon]

Montello is kind of primitive.

Can I get some Aboriginal Teen Girls in house to do the hunting and gathering for me?

THX!

[tellomon]

Aw shite now I'm starting to obsess.

That is a very attractive young lady.
Presumably Aboriginal.

Something about her hair.

It looks like something I cleaned out of my Shop Vac.

Very sexy!

Vibrant dull colors.
It says to me "Take me away".
And I say "Get in the truck".

Very nice. I hope our 2 nations can live in peace.
There is Iron in my words.
There's non-fat yogurt in yours.

Just gimme the Model and nobody will be late to Gym.

Her parents won't mind. She was orphaned at the age of consent.

[tellomon]

HELP WANTED
Aboriginal Teen Age Vixens only.

No white people. You suck. Get lost.

Inquire within.

[tellomon]

And in other news....who cares?

With smoking hot Aboriginal Teen Vixens on the loose
I can't focus on your needs.

Wanna Trade?

Gimme the grrls and I'll give you the hack to my email.

Deal?

[tellomon]

Hell, with my luck, that young and lovely has a name I could never pronounce.

And that's rude.

[tellomon]

I would love to plead guilty if only I can swap out cold steel for the pink paisley fuzzy handcuffs.

[tellomon]

I'm not going to Easy's.
I missed the bus.

Look what you made me do!

I missed the bus.

Somebody is gonna hear about this...AND PAY!

[tellomon]

Ron Tello Culley

  · Just now  ·
Help Wanted. Sugarloaf. Uber Beer Run to Easy's . 20 Bucks right now, let's go! Is this legal?

[tellomon]

Ron Tello Culley
Help Wanted. Sugarloaf. Uber Beer Run to Easy's . 20 Bucks right now, let's go! Is this legal?

Rhoquel Huylber
Try on Rim Employment also, may your beer be cold and delicious. 🍺

Ron Tello Culley
Author
I'm just rolling the dice, thx!

Michael Charles
Hey man, I think we all would much rather have someone deliver than you go out if you've been already drinking! Good luck and remember to drink water before you pass out, I just got over a nasty stomach hangover 🙁

Ron Tello Culley
Author
20 dollars USD. The bus isn't running and I don't wanna ride my bike uphill.. I don't need Mercy. I need a ride. and to see where this post goes.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Somehow, I'm just not feeling the Spirit of Community. Wait til it snows. Show you what help is like. lol.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Ok, this is the Internet. We are all presumed adults here. I want to negotiate. You give me a ride to Easy's for 20 bucks USD and I will promise to see to it that your offspring does not audition or appear in the next George A. Romero movie. I'm not reaching, I'm scratching. lol

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Ok then. Delivery Dudes it is!

You sent Today at 6:59 PM
$20 beer run Easy's  ASAP. I'm advertising and failed.. You? At least try.

Voltaire De Chlorine
I like op. I dig his style. And the answer is - who cares if it's legal?
____________________________________
Adam:
You need a ride to eazy's? Lol

You sent Today at 7:05 PM
Yes. We know each other?

Adam sent Today at 7:06 PM
Not really.. you needed a trailer in the past and I was going to help you out but I had car trouble..

You sent Today at 7:07 PM
Yes, nice. My beer run ad is going viral. I'm in Sugarloaf. Deal?

Adam sent Today at 7:08 PM
Sure give me like 30 min.
Adam sent Today at 7:08 PM
Address?

You sent Today at 7:09 PM
xxxx San Bernardino Ave. I'm in the RV behind the gate. thx!

Krista Vicario
Dth but I've been where you are a time or two lol. Hopefully somebody can help a brother out because Lord knows I would. Godspeed, good Sir??

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Adam Meeker to the rescue! Peace to all!

Daniel Snider
Did you get a ride?

Ron Tello Culley
Author
I hear it's coming!

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Adam Meeker is gonna be my new next best friend.

Daniel Snider
Ron Tello Culley okay if not let me know.

[tellomon]

Posting.

It's so stupid, even I can do it.

Look at it!

I changed the world.

Tomorrow it will be forgotten, archived or murdered.

[tellomon]

How did this happen? 1178716 Views

[tellomon]

If yer gonna be famous, have a name that sticks.

Meeker is a good start.

[tellomon]

And I'm a train wreck without a locomotive.

How does that happen?
Prolly a Montello thang...

[tellomon]

Live and let...them crash out on my sofa.

[tellomon]

Jackie Peto
If it wasn't dth I would most likely be down. Who care if the post/question was legal... people are too sensitive and act like internet police nowadays

Ron Tello Culley
Author
It's Comedy. And it's working.

Jackie Peto
💯💯🤣👍🏻

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Where else can I be funny and drunk in the same day? Nevada? No not there not yet.

------------------------

Adam sent Today at 7:52 PM
Hey I'll be there shortly.. had to take care of a few things..

Adam sent Today at 7:52 PM
But I'm leaving my house now..

You sent Today at 7:53 PM
Very good. My ad is going viral. lol. see ya. If easy's is closed let's hit circle K Yay!

Adam sent Today at 8:00 PM
Yup will do

You sent Today at 8:01 PM
Viral I tell ya. The Internet is our friend. And so are you.

[tellomon]

Ok, let's examine limitations, shall we?

This is getting to be less of a hobby
and more of a disease.

Bring out The Sickness!

Give it a shot.

[Image of Nurse Tessa goes here.]

[tellomon]

I like to piss off and influence people.

It's my only remaining talent.

[tellomon]

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Where else can I be funny and drunk in the same day? Nevada? No not there not yet.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Mission accomplished. Thank you for playing my Life Game!
Meeker. The man. My new best friend.
I'm getting tuned up to challenge Caesar tomorrow.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
If it wasn't for facebook, I'd have to send up smoke signals and prolly get pinched by the Fire Marshall. This is much more effective.

[tellomon]

Did I really post, saying I've been drunk for 5000 weeks?

5001 coming up!

[tellomon]

The money is worse than the virus.

Covid attacks you.
Covidollars enables you to attack yourself.

Is there a Poem here somewhere?

[tellomon]

Ron Tello Culley
Author
At the end of this, I leave you with a taste of my work. You are welcome! 12 years running and nowhere to go but on.
http://www.ozroundtable.com/index.php?topic=510.msg712546...
The Tello Files. (All things strange, witnessed, verifyable and/or credible (?)
OZROUNDTABLE.COM

Ron Tello Culley
Author
I'm not advertising. This is "Sharing".

[tellomon]

Heh-heh, I got a plan-plan.
2 of them.

The Code Inspector gig.
1) Behave and demand due process and my day in court.

2) Become the drunken slob nobody wants roaming the streets, so it's better to keep me home.

Strategy. Not Love.

Aww shite! I gave it up, dint I?

Now they're gonna figure me out and designate me as a Suspect for whatever... I qualify.

[tellomon]

And I will specify that Covidollars are killing me and I should die at home and not in the streets.

Compassionate fascism.

That's the ticket!

Ain't Biden Peachy?

[tellomon]

You watch...

The Inspector will show up to a dirt clod fight with a clipboard.

Place your bets now!

[tellomon]

If I say anything more about it, maybe you should play the part of the Evil Entity.
BYO clipboard.

I really soooo don't wanna have to get "Animated".

Back in Montello, I got rid of The Water Nazi's with a fart.
It was memorable.
And it gave Elko another reason to hate me.
They added it up and put me in jail on an edict.
Now I'm out and they are scared.
Stupid Inbreds!

[tellomon]

edict
[??dikt]
NOUN
an official order or proclamation issued by a person in authority.
"Clovis issued an edict protecting Church property"
synonyms:
decree · order · command · commandment · WE SAY SO · mandate · proclamation · pronouncement · dictum · dictate · fiat · promulgation · precept · law · statute · act · enactment · bill · ordinance · regulation · rule · ruling · injunction · manifesto · ukase · pronunciamento · firman · decretal · irade · rescript

[tellomon]

The Tello Files: We have a "Floating Charter".

That means we "SAY SO" too!

[tellomon]

I'm just not feeling the sense of "Back Up" here.
It figures.

Ghost Town Syndrome.

Montello has water.
Oz has a Barbie.

Add it up!

[tellomon]

The best we can hope for is you stay out of this.
I got this.

This.

Yeah, this is an issue..

Next stop: "THAT".

When I get to "Who", you best get out of town.

[tellomon]

I'm not sorry.

This is the Internet.

Apologies are a sign of conformity.

Sorry is a tool of a weak mind.

And Admin is a State of Mind.

Watch her.

Remember: Trust is a commodity.
For sale to the highest bidder.

This is not eBay anymore, Toto.

[tellomon]

1178900 Views

[tellomon]

Shall I get into the politics of The Fountain?

Kick off your mud boots, people. Suit up in a trash bag.

That go will be messy on it's face.

[tellomon]

A Near-Perfect website.
Ruined by Members portraying Trolls.

And nobody cares.

Nice goin' ya Morons!

No Happy Ending for you.

[tellomon]

Send in The Clowns.

This crowd is dead.

Oh Jeez, did I invoke the Zombie Clan?

[tellomon]

Embarrassing: Jen Psaki’s widely touted ‘social media briefing’ draws a whopping 1,100 viewers

Well, this is embarrassing.

Jen Psaki hosted her first “social media briefing,” presumably for members of the public, and after a big buildup, only about a thousand showed up.

This wasn’t for lack of trying. There was the White House promo, seen above, which probably cost more than $1,000 to produce.

And just to make sure ol’ Jen wouldn’t be out there alone, a celebrity cavalcade of social media influencers were added to pad the numbers. If viewers didn’t want to see old Jen, they could always come to see their favorite “influencers.”

Or dip into The Tello Files.

https://republicanpost.net/embarrassing-jen-psakis-widely-touted-social-media-briefing-draws-a-whopping-1100-viewers/

[tellomon]

Do you know what a whopping 1,100 viewers is to me?
(Hi. I'm Ron Tello. Follow me, this one....)

Chatter Lurkers. 6 days of them, easy.

They lied then, they do it now.
None of this is evidence.

And if it is, I don't care.

Release the defendants ROR.

It's really funny to release rats back onto a sinking ship.

[tellomon]

Are we drinking yet?

[tellomon]

And where's my latest stimulus money?

Covidollars.

$1400 I believe.

That's Montello Money.
ROAD TRIP!!!

Gas, Motel, Bar Tab.

Methamphetamine.
Bullets.

Troy for his RV Hook Ups.

Yvette for the memories.
(I pay her to blab. Not hush money at at all!)

Cheri for the laundry. (I never told she peed on me in my bed)

Baseball boys selling donuts so they can get a new Coach.

Bribing cops.



That shite adds up!

No wonder I'm broke.

[tellomon]

Ron Tello Culley
Author
I'm not advertising. This is "Sharing".

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Yeah, Radio Silence works for me, too.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
Jeez, if the Tello Files goes Wild, I may be banned from The Earth.

Ron Tello Culley
Author
The number of years the FBI, et, al. has been following me is more than your age in most cases..

[tellomon]

No, maybe really.

The men in black are not shy to admit they got a boner for me.

They came to my house, said "Hey Ron! Thanks to you, we have a full-time job!"

I have documents which deny all knowledge of themselves.

It's great! Mulder and Scully got nothing on this one!!!!

[tellomon]

Am I really this smart?
Sorry.

I'm not your average Yank.

And you are not the average Blighters.

You make my self-inflicted Lock Down a treat!

You don't talk back!