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The Round Table / Re: Tales From The Narc Side
« Last post by tellomon on Today at 02:13:49 PM »Discarded and thrown away like a worthless
piece of garbage by someone who once said
they loved you can be horrible.
How does it feel to be discarded?
piece of garbage by someone who once said
they loved you can be horrible.
How does it feel to be discarded?
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You need to see the narcissist for what he or she is. They are empty shells, often with "larger than life" personalities, but that isn't even their true self.
I once went to Area 51 with the narcissist. I think he was obsessed with aliens because he is one. lol. On a more serious note, I remember something he asked a local in a bar. He asked "so do you guys have any apartments here for rent?" The guy at the bar nearly spit out his drink and just stared. The narcissist looked truly perplexed. It was Area 51, not prime real estate.
This was the same guy who would yell at me and say that I was stupid. Sure, I'm stupid, the person you're jealous of because I have the degrees you wish you had. This was the same guy who acted like Superman in front of me, flexing his so-called muscles and acting like he was King of the World. In front of other people though, he seemed a lot smaller, and less "powerful." It's weird, but everywhere we went, people liked me and would talk to me. Never to him. He literally becaome invisible.
So you need to see them for who they are. They aren't anyone. They do not even have a real personality. Everything they say or do is copied from someone else they know. Even their word salads are plagiarized. They try and invent some "style" from everything they're stored in their memory, like AI. They are AI people. They aren't even real. Robotic.
They will discard you, because you're too good for them. They must move on. Especially after they've been exposed. They will move on to the next supply, because they can't face themselves, and they cannot even make it on their own.
The next one (supply) may last longer. Maybe he or she doesn't talk back or argue. Maybe they stay silent, and cry in their sleep. They swallow back tears and stay with the narcissist, because they "love" them. But holding all that in is going to make them ill one day. They will get some disease from holding in all that stress. There is an actual paper written about how narcissists and psychopaths give their victims carcinogenesis. Being around abnormality for such a long time period will ultimately kill you from stress or disease.
So be glad that they are gone. You don't need them. They were just empty shells or AI automatons playing a part. I've written before that my ex narcissist would play out roles that he saw in sitcoms and films. That is how empty his life was, that he had no identity at all, and had to learn how to act or behave through an actor's character.
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It's honestly indescribable.
Because there are so many layers to it.
The deception is the first:
-If you grew up with a Narcissistic parent- but you had never experienced a romantic relationship with a Narcisisst before- it is night/day different.
-It is one thing when it is a Narcissistic parent who is lieing about when they are coming home- or verbally gaslighting you. You can somehow rarionalize in your brain that one day, you will move away, and never have to put up with this manipulation again.
It is another when you are in a romantic relationship, and you love this Narcissist.
Because you don't KNOW that they ARE a Narcissist to begin with.
They are kind, gentle, charming- and you have taken your time to trust them.
If you're like me, and you grew up in an abusive household- you don't trust people easily.
But Narcissists are very reassuring. They take their sweet time to Love Bomb you for 3 months.
They Future Fake you. Tell you about all the happy things they want to do with you.
And slowly, you begin to trust them.
You don't rush intimacy. You love them, but you are scared of getting your heart broken.
They reassure you that they love you though. And slowly you share more with them.
They've made you so happy you can't believe this is real. You actually can't believe that there are kind, caring people in this world.
And then- out of nowhere- one day you are discarded.
You're stunned. You can't even breathe. You have no idea what you did wrong.
And they don't explain anything. They don't want to talk about it. They've made up their mind, and they are done with you.
And you're heart is shattered. You're Trauma Bonded. You beg them to explain what you did wrong. You love them, and you can't believe this is happening.
And they may take you back. And maybe for 6 more months you'll date. But everyday gets worse. They don't tell you you're pretty any longer.
If you're sick in the hospital, they don't care. They'd rather look at pictures of random women, then be worried about you.
You start physically becoming sick. You look at your face, and you don't even recognize yourself any longer. The color is drained, and your light and happiness has slowly faded away.
You ask them, if they just used you. They tell you, “you provided stimulation.”
And you feel like a knife has been driven through your heart.
You can't believe this person you shared such intimate things about yourself with- that you loved, and would protect them with your life- could throw you away like you are absolutely nothing.
That's what being Discarded feels like. And this is why- many people may even commit suicide after being in a relationship with a Narcissist.
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Regardless of the time invested it’s devastating to think that someone you cared so deeply for planned a future with could so easily walk away with no closure. As if the relationship meant NOTHING to them.
The fact is that the relationship was merely a stepping stone to the next “love of their live—-—or should I say the love of their life until they get bored with them as well”. looking back you knew something was wrong and so you tried harder. The more you tried the more distain they had towards you. Now they’re gone? They ended the relationship a long time ago. You just didn’t know it They just wanted to make sure your replacement was suitable before they cast you aside like an old shoe.
Now what? You feel extreme anxiety and stress. You can’t focus on anything BUT how why when this person decided you weren’t good enough for them. This is when it’s advised to block this person and go no contact. This is to protect yourself from further hurt because what a true narcissist loves to do is mess with your head after the discard.
They will float in and out of your life if allowed. You’ll start feeling better and be moving on and they will send you a random text/email/VM with a simple “hi”. That one word WILL derail you and you basically start the healing in process over. Don’t snoop or follow or ask about this person. Move on and don’t look back. It’s hard. You will be sad you will be lonely BUT time will heal those wounds.
They very rarely change and any time or energy trying to reconcile or figure it out will be wasted. Not all relationships end happily ever after but with a normal person they will at least have a conversation saying the relationship isn’t working for them. It hurts but at least you have closure and it ended respectfully.
A toxic person will not give you that consideration they walk away with no closure leaving you very confused and devastated. When you feel tempted to reach out to this person please don’t—-come to this sight read what people say about healing from a toxic relationship. You will see you’re not alone and you WILL be ok and be able to move on with your life.
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It really does feel like your person has died. They were there one day, next day, gone. Their body might still be in your home, but the person you thought you knew; the person you have been laying in the same bed with; the person you made a home with; the person you got the dog with; the person you ate with; the person you told your most intimate secrets to; the person you had children with; the person you planned vacations with; the person you presented to your family; the person who told you they loved you like no other; the person you trusted; the person you planned your future around; THAT PERSON IS GONE!
Even if they are still next to you in your bed, THAT PERSON NO LONGER EXISTS. And, they won’t be returning, either. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THAT PERSON AGAIN.
You live with a demon now.
You have to come to terms with the death of the future you planned. Your life will not be what was promised. That person had no intention on bringing those dreams to fruition. You have to grieve the loss of your security, your home, your spirit, your dreams. You have to come to terms with the fact that, no matter how long the history with this person, THEY NEVER LOVED YOU.
You have to be strong enough to absorb the truths that come crashing down on you after you wake from the fog of the relationship. You have to heal from the trauma of realizing that EVERYTHING this person presented to you was a lie.
You have to be stable enough to take the insult of each new secret that comes to light around EVERY CORNER, once that person’s true colors come out. They just keep coming, secret after insult, after affair, after lie, after deceit, after misconduct, after dysfunction, after abuse, they JUST KEEP COMING. And you can’t stop them.
They are literally in the drawers of your home, the cupboards, the papers, the history of your relationship. They are EVERYWHERE you go. They knock on your door. They show up on your social media pages. They’re in your phone bills and your bank accounts. The LIES ARE EVERYWHERE.
There is no more faking it. This animal WILL be terrible to you now RIGHT TO YOUR FACE. There is no more sneaking around. You can see it with your own eyes now. They can’t hide the truth anymore, and their house of cards has fallen ON YOUR head.
And in response to it, they piss on you and walk away in disgust. They don’t care. They’re off to find someone else to do this to again. They can’t fix what they’ve done because THEY WERE NEVER ACTUALLY IN THE RELATIONSHIP to begin with, you were. YOU were in a relationship ALL ALONE the ENTIRE time.